#this is the first of MANY whitney fics i have in my brain

[propertyofkylar]

confession - m!whitney x gn!pc

spoilers for sneaky update content ;)

Your eyes roamed the crowded school halls as you shuffled through.

It was so annoying that you couldn’t find Whitney when you actually needed him. Most of the time he was just suddenly appearing unexpectedly. But now? You had no idea where he was.

You hadn’t seen your boyfriend since he left you that note, and you half thought that he might be ignoring you. A silly thought, maybe, but Whitney had never been one who dealt with emotions well. What if it had been a mistake?

School hadn't officially begun yet, and you were hoping to find him before classes started. If you had to wait until maths class to see Whitney - well, you honestly weren't sure what you would do.

You shook your head as if to physically rid yourself of those thoughts when you saw a head of blond hair ahead. “Whitney!” You called out.

His head turned and you saw a brief look of surprise and panic cross his face.

Oh, fuck. He totally was avoiding you.

"What's up, slut?" His normal smirk was plastered back on his face as his buddies laughed around him. You quickly caught up to him and leaned in so they couldn't hear.

"Can we, um, talk?" And now you were nervous, too. Great. There was that look of fear again in his eyes before he gave you a short nod.

"Gonna go teach this slut a lesson," Whitney announced to his friends, grabbing your wrist and pulling you away. "You all can fuck off."

He tugged you into a nearby storage closet and suddenly it was just the two of you. You had spent a while thinking about what to say but now your mouth went dry.

You were looking into each other's eyes, neither one wanting to make the first move.

It was starting to drive you crazy when Whitney finally opened his mouth.

"Listen-" he started.

"I love you too," you blurted out, interrupting him. His eyes widened and his mouth opened and closed several times.

"Oh," was all Whitney managed to get out.

"So...yeah," you finished lamely with a shrug. Your eyes went to the floor to avoid the intensity of his gaze.

Suddenly, Whitney's arms were around you in a bone-crushing hug, and you leaned into him, wrapping your arms around him and resting your head against his chest.

He let out a shaky breath and pressed his mouth against your hair.

"I just, I mean," you started, but you realized quickly you had no clue what to say. But it didn't seem like he knew what to say either, so you kept going. "I guess I didn't know you felt that way about me."

Whitney pulled back to look at you, and you could tell even in the dimly-lit closet that his face was bright red.

"You're such a dumb fucking slut," he groaned, rubbing a hand across his face as if to hide from you. "You're nice to me for some fucking reason, and- and you make me happy." It sounded like it almost pained him to say it, but it made you smile. Actually, it made you giggle, which you quickly regretted when you saw the look on his face.

"Shut up. I'm trying to be sincere," he leaned his head against the wall, and you wanted to laugh again at how whiny he was being, but you held back.

"Sorry," you put your hands up.

"Whatever," Whitney folded his arms and looked away from you. "Don't expect more of this mushy shit. And don't expect me to act different."

You nodded - nothing you hadn't already thought about - and took a step closer to him. He gave you a gentle kiss on the forehead. It made you feel warm.

"But I do love you," he mumbled. Actually hearing it from his mouth made you feel all sorts of things. So you leaned up and kissed him. It was tender and filled with love.

You wished you could stay in there like that forever with him, but you remembered that you were at school and needed to make it to science class before Sirris gave you detention. "We should, ah..." you gestured towards the door.

Whitney nodded before swinging the door open and stepping out. The bright fluorescents nearly blinded you after being in the storage closet so long.

"I will see you later, slut," he said, drawing the attention of his friends who were still lingering nearby, but clearly had gotten bored during the time you two were in there. Which was fine, since you weren't too keen on them overhearing such an intimate conversation.

You gave Whitney a smile, and he sent you off with a swift smack to the ass.

That made you smile even harder - it was the way he showed his love.

[alexandersimpleton]

5

6

7

25-your thought about my fanfic RaS - returning back to make amends. I see you give me kudo but you never gives any reaction over it. Just be honest, I am accepting whatever you thought about that fanfic series. I write it for self-indulgent of many fanfic tropes that I love to becomes one, in order to improving Frederick whole fanon perspective in my way. Many Frederick simpers are saying that's so good, so for you as Frederick stan - I wonder your honest opinion about it? I do consulting about those idea in the past too but I find you lack enthusiasm unlike my current co-writers

5: Favorite platonic pairing

Whitney and Frederick. The autistic disasters. Being disasters. And autistic. Together. (Also just like, them both thinking they're crazy and weird and just not clicking with others and then finding each other and-)

6: Favorite headcannon

There are so many I like, but if I HAD to choose, I'd say autistic Whitney. Just. The boy. It's practically cannon.

(okay, I thought 6 was favorite pairing for some reason, and this one wasn't actually in the ask but I wrote this whole thing so...)

9 3/4: favorite romantic pairing

I'm still deciding on if I like Frederick/Gwen or Frederick/Jamie better. Frederick and Gwen make me feel all nice, because Frederick relating to Gwen and telling her she's beautiful constantly and pseudo protecting her from bullies, and Gwen being the first nice person in his life and making him soup when when his PTSD starts flaring up again. But on the other hand, with Frederick and Jamie THE DYNAMIC OMG. Like, I don't have eloquent words for this one, but they would just click so well together, plus the themes of Frederick looking like Leland and Jamie looking like Jack boost it up too. Idk, I like both

7: least favorite headcannon

I think I answered this one in the other ask, so I'll give another one I hate. I really hate the idea of "oh, Blaine secretly cares, so Frederick should just forgive him". Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I hate Blaine caring. I like that headcannon (even if I still believe Blaibe took it as an offense to the plaid kingdom and Lambcat is going to punch you suckets in the gut I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL) I'm just saying that it doesn't make him entitled to Frederick's forgiveness. It doesn't matter if he secretly cared the whole time, it doesn't matter if he apologized, it doesn't matter if Frederick was forgiven by the CPC, Blaine is NOT entitled to Frederick's forgiveness. Blaine e manipulated him and abused him for years, and Frederick doesn't need to forgive him. Sorry that was a bit of a rant lol

25: it's in the ask

I'm sorry for not like, reading your fic all that much. My brain just refuses to get hooked on it. Like, I doubt the spoilers on discord helped, but I don't think that's the real reason. It is a really cool concept though. From what I got from the discord, the characterization seems really good. I left kudos because I really liked the concept, and by all means it's really good. It's just not clicking with me for some reason. My best guess is the grammer/word choice/whatever. For some reason my immersion just breaks whenever I see grammer mistakes (or just words in an order I don't get in general) so I think that might be what's keeping me from diving in. Idk. Sorry.

[zybynarx]

IT’S HERE!!! IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! This is artwork done for the @dcbtv and specifically for the INCREDIBLE story written by @whitster-lizzy​ ! Check it out HERE!

Aaaah! I feel like I could geek out over these drawings and the entire process for a long while, so I’ll just throw that rambling under the “Keep Reading” (there will be fic spoilers talked about there too so be warned!).

Hope you enjoy the story! And seriously, go read it!

Hello! Welcome to the ramblings!

So starting with the banner... the concept of what I wanted to do came to me pretty quickly. I thought it would be cool to have the guitar and cover it with some relevant stickers that applied to Dean and Cas. The biggest challenge on the banner was honestly the colors... there are SO MANY cool color options for guitars, but I wanted to be sure that the words, the important story information, stood out significantly. So there was a lot of color tests that my friend sort of “supervised” for me, and finally get the colors fine tuned where you still have the bold red from the KC logo, but it wasn’t the ONLY thing your eye would stay drawn to. XD

Next is the Cas in his room drawing... and boy howdy I am OBSESSED with this drawing! the DCBTV bang was a very collaborative project. There was no “rough draft” to read off of, or “rough sketches” to look at. It was just me, Whitney, and our chosen song. So we had some brainstorm sessions where we pin-pointed the concept for the fic, which would have musician!Cas/football player!Dean, with some high school angst. And of course, you can’t really have an angsty high school story without a dramatic “looking out the window like you’re in a music video”, so I sketched this out:

I shared it with Whitney, and then she added this scene into the story itself! To which then I was like, “Well heck! Now I REALLY have to draw this!” But I was already at about 50% with the other piece I had done, and so I told myself that if I had time, I could draw this up. I finished the other drawing with time to spare... and then drew up the Cas drawing over the course of 3 days. My brain wouldn’t let me rest until I had drawn it! XD (Also quick fun fact... the poster on Cas’ wall is Totoro, because I was watching that movie for the first time ever while I was coloring it, and I thought it would be a fun little easter egg for myself ^_^ ).

The 2nd drawing (well, technically 1st since I had completed that one first) may look simple... but there were things about it that was NOT so simple! XD The lighting/shading... it was certainly an adventure trying to figure out exactly how this sort of lighting would work. From the spotlights on Cas and Dean, to the lighting of the “peanut gallery” just a little behind them, and then finally the crowd. A lot of playing around with different colors and layer settings, but I found an option that I felt like worked very well! On another note of the collaboration effort for this bang, Cas’ outfit and tattoo design were inspired from reading what Whitney had added into the story. Specifically during the high school years. I read the detail about Cas’ mom making his own version of the “Black Parade” jacket and was like, “Omg that’s gotta be referenced a bit with this drawing now! It’s perfect!” And the part where Cas compares himself to a phoenix instead of Icarus? My mind was blown and I got chills so I had to make a subtle nod to that as well!

Whitney had asked about creating some chapter/section dividers to put throughout the story and I thought it was a great idea! I came up with this design for Dean when we switched to his POV and even little section breaks within the chapter:

And these were the designs I came up with for Cas’ POV switches and section breaks:

...wanna know something funny about those musical notes? Got the inspiration from this:

:3c

I signed up for this bang as sort of a last second decision and honestly I’m so glad that I did! My author was incredible, it helped push me a little more as an artist, and also I got to relive my Jr. High years a bit because this song was honestly the first Taylor Swift song I had ever heard (also a bit of High school because of the angst, but I loved it). Super thankful to have been a part of this! 

A huge huge shout out to the mods for putting it together and for creating the event! Seriously, you all did a great job and I’m so happy that this event was received so well!

If you’ve made it this far... thanks for reading! <3

[pascalpanic]

Caffeine Rush: Chapter Two / Mocha

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!Reader

Summary: Javier learns his fate. You take him out to that dinner you promised.

W/C: 2.8k

Warnings: language, mentions of food, tooth-rotting fluff. I mean it. 

A/N: HI FRIENDS if you can’t already tell from my blog, I LOVE red velvet cake and this chapter is highly self indulgent. This fic is so near and dear to me because I really relate to the reader and put more of myself in her than I do others. I hope you guys enjoy!!!

previous chapter || next chapter || masterlist

Mocha: espresso, steamed milk, and chocolate. Beloved for the sweet taste.

To his surprise, Javier didn’t get fired. In fact, they didn’t even mention Los Pepes. He walked in there, sweating bullets and filled with anxiety and caffeine, only to learn that they weren’t the review board. They were operations, and asked Javier what he knew about the Calí cartel. Afraid it was a trap, he didn’t answer, until the man across from him cracked a smile and told him about his new assignment.

“Your work with Escobar and the Medellín cartel was unconventional, but we needed it. If you’ll accept our offer, we’d like to assign you to Calí to head the investigation into their cartel.”

Javier’s brain froze in shock. He was wordless, staring blankly ahead and furrowing his brow. After a few moments, he mustered out all that he could. “You’re serious?”

“Yes, Agent Peña. With the assignment would additionally come a raise in pay and rank, as well as-”

He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll take it.”

“We haven’t finished the offer-”

“I’ll take it, sir. Thank you,” he said, nodding.

“Well… take this,” he said, making Javier stand from the chair across from the room and take the file from his hands. “This is the information you’ll need, including your new pay and details. We are asking that you take at least some of your banked vacation time. You have several months of it, Peña. Our code requires that-” 

Javier’s fully aware of this policy. Use it or lose it. Unfortunately, he’d never had much time or want for vacation while chasing Escobar. What would he do? “Yeah, give me a month off,” he said mindlessly as he opened the file and scanned over the front page, in utter disbelief. He registered his surroundings after a second and looked up. “You won’t regret it, sir. Thank you,” he says and shakes the man’s hand before leaving the room.

Now, Javier stands at a payphone outside of the embassy, dialing your number in his pocket. When you pick up and ask who’s there, he laughs happily. “They didn’t fire me!”

“Congratulations,” you laugh as you realize it must be Javier. “What all happened?”

“I actually got promoted,” he admits, the adrenaline and caffeine rushing through his bloodstream. “It was absolutely crazy. They didn’t even mention Los Pepes or anything, just-”

“Are you ready for me to pick you up now?” You ask, cutting him off. “You can tell me the rest over some food. You need it. You didn’t eat that muffin I brought you.”

“What are you, my mother?” He asks dryly, but he’s too excited to be too annoyed. “No, I’ll head back to the hotel. Pick me up in 30 minutes?”

“Sounds great. Congratulations, Javier,” you tell him, grinning into the receiver. 

“Call me Javi.”

“Okay… Javi,” you say, biting your lip to hold back from giggling. “I’ll see you then.”

There’s a click and the phone line goes dead. You start giggling happily, flopping back onto the couch. Javier makes his way to the hotel, smiling. He lights up a cigarette, sighing at the way the warmth of the lighter contrasts the cold and snowy air. 

-

Holy fuck. You’re going on what could possibly be considered a date with a really hot guy and you need to get dressed, quick. You hurry around your tiny apartment, throwing on something nice-looking and messing with your hair. You spritz on some perfume, straighten yourself in the mirror, and rush out to the street. 

Georgetown is beautiful in the snow, you smile to yourself, but you wince as you realize the snow might slow you down. Your car is a piece of shit, you have to admit, but you love it. Her name is Whitney, in honor of Whitney Houston, and you beg and plead with her to behave as you make your way to Javier’s hotel. 

The radio plays some music quietly, and a handsome dark-haired man stands outside of the hotel, smoking a cigarette when you arrive. You flash your high-beams at him and he smiles as he puts out the cigarette and tosses it in the trash. “Hi,” you almost sing as he gets in the car. “Are you a hugger?”

“Am I a what?” He frowns and asks, looking at you. 

“Do you like hugs?” You ask, as if it’s obvious.

“I… don’t really receive many. They’re nice, I guess,” he shrugs as he looks you up and down quickly. “You look beautiful, by the way,” he tells you.

Warmth collects in your chest at his words. “Well, thank you. And I ask because I wanted to give you a hug of congratulations. I’m a big hugger,” you shrug a little and tilt your head as you look at him. He looks nice, in a button-up and those tight jeans you saw him in earlier.

A car honks behind you and you jump, awkwardly waving behind you and taking off so the next car can drive up to the hotel. Javier chuckles a little. “Well… I do like hugs, I guess. No one has ever asked me that.”

You look at him briefly, with confusion in your eyes, before they find the road again. “What a sad, sad life,” you chuckle. “I suppose. Are you… like, recently single? Did you date when you were in Colombia?” You ask innocently.

Javier exhales in a light chuckle. “No, never really had a relationship. Lots of flings,” he admits, finding that to be the best word to describe his situation. “But no relationships.”

You nod along, eyes scanning the road as you drive to dinner. “I see.”

“How about you?” He asks, wanting to deflect the attention from himself. That seems to be a common theme with him, you’ve noticed. All the conversations center around you, no matter how hard you try to talk about him. 

“Well, no. I haven’t really gone out much or done anything, really. I’m a bit of a homebody, but once I’m out I enjoy it. Problem is you can’t find a date from the couch.”

You reach the restaurant not much later, parking outside. You get out after chatting a little more, and Javi is taken by surprise when you wrap your arms around him in a big hug. “Uh, hi?” He laughs. He instinctively returns it, enjoying the feeling of your body pressed to his. He hasn’t had anything so tender in a long time. 

“I told you, it’s a congratulatory hug!” You say with a grin as you squeeze him then break away. “I’m happy for you.”

He smiles down at you. “I… thank you. That was nice.”

“Well, there’s plenty more where that came from,” you tell him and lead him inside, opening the door and heading into the restaurant. 

-

Javier is a fantastic conversationalist. He tells stories with his hands, vividly explaining stories from the chase for Escobar. He tells you of his partner, Steve, and his crazy methods; about Colonel Carillo, who he still thinks is one of the strongest men he’s ever met; of Stechner, who you already want to gut-punch if you ever meet. 

You watch him and admire the way his eyes dart about when he’s telling a story, the way he draws maps on the table with his fingers that you have no hope of understanding. 

The food is great but the company is better. Javier’s laugh is a beautiful sound, one rarely heard by others. He listens to you just as attentively, smiling as you talk about the coffee shop, about Georgetown, all of your life. 

By the end of the night, it’s easy to declare that you really, really like Javier. You like the way his lips quirk up in a smile, his intelligence and humor. You don’t want the night to end, truly. 

When the bill comes, he takes it before you can even try. “Hey, I told you I was paying as a congratulatory dinner,” you frown. 

“That can be another dinner,” he says mindlessly as he signs the receipt. “I always pay on the first date.”

“Oh, is that what this is?” You beam at him, tilting your head, eyes twinkling. 

He smiles as he looks up at you. “I was thinking it was. I have at least a month off work now, to be wherever I want and I have nothing to do. I’d like to properly take my time to get to know you,” he offers, and it makes your heart flutter in your chest. 

“It seems like nothing about you is proper, Javi,” you tease and sip your drink, quirking an eyebrow. 

He mirrors you, sipping his drink too. “That’s fair. But we’re in the nation’s capital, I suppose we should be a little more…”

You look at him and try to fill in the blank, smiling. “Practical? Traditional?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know what I meant to say there.”

You chuckle a little. “Well, it doesn’t matter. I like the sound of that.”

-

After dinner, you give Javier a little tour of Georgetown through the windows of your crappy car. The snow from earlier in the day has collected, dusting the tops of window sills and awnings over shop entries. Despite the snow, the car thermometer reads that it’s somewhat warm for the time of year.

There’s one warm little place with glowing lights. Despite the hour of night, it’s clearly open. Javier asks what it is. “Oh, that’s a little bakery,” you comment. “My favorite place, honestly. Their red velvet cupcake is fantastic.”

“That sounds good. I like chocolate more, to be honest,” he comments. 

You continue driving for a few seconds, rolling your eyes. “They have a good one there, but it’s so one-dimensional. It’s just chocolate with chocolate on top. Red velvet is the best because you have the cake and the tangy frosting, and-“

“Pull over?” Javier asks, and you look at him in confusion but pull into a parking spot obediently and quickly. 

Your eyes are wide in confusion. “What?” You ask him, concerned that something is wrong with the car. 

“I’m buying you dessert,” he chuckles and gets out. 

Your heart falls then and there for him. If you haven’t already decided, now you know that there’s no turning back. You want Javier Peña with a passion. “Jesus Christ, you could’ve told me that,” you laugh and turn off the car, getting off and bounding behind him. His long legs have already made strides ahead of you, leaving you to catch up. 

“You wouldn’t have stopped, would you?” He asks, the gentle snow leaving white flakes on his dark coat. He looks so pretty like this, the warm light from inside the bakery glowing against his dark hair. 

You roll your eyes but you’re smiling. “No, maybe not.” He opens the door for you and you thank him and follow him in. 

Javier walks to the counter and wastes no time. “Hi. I’ll take two red velvet cupcakes and two large coffees. How do you take yours?” He asks you as you join him at his side. 

“From my café,” you tease him, before turning to the woman behind the counter with a polite smile and asking for two sugars and two creams. Javier asks for his black. 

The two of you step back while she gets your order ready and you look at him, smiling a little. There are still soft white flakes in his wavy hair, which are slowly melting into water drops. 

You don’t know it, but he’s looking at you just the same. He admires you, smiling a little, just enough the quirk up one side of his mouth. “Thanks for buying,” you tell him and step a little closer. He’s warm, you can feel it radiating off of him, and the shop’s blasting cool air throughout. 

“Like I said,” he chuckles. “I always buy on the first date.” He reaches out to tuck a strand of your stray hair behind your ear. “Would you want to come up to my hotel room to eat the cupcakes?” He offers. 

You shake your head. “I work early tomorrow morning, I shouldn’t.”

Normally, Javier would be disappointed. Normally, he’d want to fuck you on the first date, leave you screaming his name until you can’t help but come back for more. But to his surprise, he doesn’t mind. He has a whole month to be with you, a whole month to fall for the woman he’s already half-lovesick over. “Not a problem,” he nods and walks to the counter as the woman calls that your order is ready. 

He hands you a large coffee, and you take a sip of the warm liquid, sighing. “There’s a little shelter out there,” you say, pointing to a bench with an awning above it to keep it clear from the snow. “Do you want to eat them out there?”

Javier half-smiles and nods. “That sounds good.”

It’s warm for the season, but there’s still a cool breeze. You hurry over and sit on the small bench, Javier sitting next to you. The sides of your thighs touch, and you’re both aware of it, the proximity this small bench forces you to squeeze into. Javier sets the box on his lap and opens it, revealing two red velvet cupcakes. “These look delicious.”

“They are,” you grin and pick one up, licking a bit of the frosting off the top and sighing in content with the taste. Javier watches you, and you’re suddenly very aware of the connotation. You look over at him with wide eyes, holding back a laugh. You both break down giggling at the action, your head falling against his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to do that like... that, I swear,” you shake your head as you sit up straight again. 

“You looked good doing it,” he teases you and bumps your shoulder as you unwrap the paper. “I’m going to save mine for later.”

You frown at him. “Come on. I have to be here when you try the best dessert of all time.”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I’m too full. I’ll have it for breakfast tomorrow or something.”

“Javi,” you whine. “There’s no point of you getting two if we don’t eat them together. You have to eat it, come on.”

Javier looks over at your cupcake, which has one bite taken. “Let me take a little bite of yours then.”

An idea strikes and you nod. “Sure,” you say casually, holding it up for him to eat it. When he goes in to bite it, you move it closer to his face, causing the cupcake to smash into his chin and onto his nose.

Javier thinks he’s the one that missed. “Fuck,” he laughs as he crosses his eyes as he looks down at his nose, seeing the cupcake and frosting smeared on his face. He sees you giggling and laughs. “Hey, you didn’t… what the fuck?” He laughs, bringing his face close to yours. “That was uncalled for.”

“You were being a grump. I had to,” you giggle, your face naturally coming closer to his.

“And we don’t even have napkins,” he shakes his head and looks at you. “How can I clean this up?”

Tilting your head, your eyes dart between his, smiling at the dark brown color and the way they soften under your gaze. “I have an idea,” you murmur, cupping the side of Javier’s face and setting the mashed cupcake back in the box. 

Just a moment later, your lips are on his. His eyes have fallen shut and he sighs as you kiss him, a hand finding your waist and pulling you closer to him. He sets the box on the bench behind him and scoots closer, a hand on the side of your neck. 

He tastes like coffee and cream cheese frosting, his lips unbearably soft for such a hardened man. You soften him with your touch, when you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer to you. 

He’s in fucking Heaven, he thinks, murmuring your name against your lips. He knows you already, knows the kind of person you are. He’d figured you’d maybe give a chaste kiss on the first date if you liked the person enough. The voracity of your lips against his tells him you might just reciprocate the intensity of the deep ache in his ribs he feels for you. 

After a moment, you break away and smile softly. “I didn’t get all of it,” you frown as you see that there’s still some frosting on Javier’s nose. 

“At least now we match,” he teases and wipes your face of some red crumbs that transferred to your chin with the pad of his thumb. 

You giggle and press your forehead to his, the warmth of his body perfect against yours in the slight chill of the December night. “Will you come visit me at work again tomorrow?” You ask him. 

“Only if you make me a drink that tastes as good as you do.”

-

taglist: 

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers  @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867 @greeneyedblondie44 @hunnambabe @astoryisaloveaffair @emesispo @pedritobalmando @magikfanatic @yooforia @oceanablue @sara-alonso @pedrosmustache @feelingmadclever @hnt-escape @radiowallet @obsessivelysearching @sugarontherims @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @linnie0119 @1800-fight-me @autumnleaves1991-blog @toilet-keeper @evelynseventyr @metalarmsandmanbuns @shannababyy

[rachelamberish]

Hi know you’ve been getting some messages lately so I hope this isn’t annoying but I love your fic and if that’s anything to go by then I also love the way your brain works. Do you have any reddie or even just richie and eddie headcanons? I would love to hear some of your thoughts/the way you process these characters and their relationship. Sorry if this is obnoxious and also thanks

Okay so I honestly don’t have a TON of like “headcanons” per say but I definitely have opinions that absolutely made their way into writing this fic so:

-First off I personally read Richie as bi and Eddie as gay, but obviously whatever is valid and I do actually completely understand people who want to read Richie (specifically movie!Richie) as gay.

-While thinking about this fic, and writing strictly from Richie’s POV, I had to think a lot about Eddie’s motivations and internal POV to avoid him becoming a one-dimensional character. I feel like we don’t get a lot of it often but I think Eddie has an equally important and likely traumatic experience growing up gay in small town America (at the height of the AIDS crisis) as Richie, he just has a very different outlook on it/way of processing it. I think he spends his teen years desperately looking for Richie to validate his experiences and feelings, but Richie is so deeply closeted that obviously he never does, which causes a lot of frustration and anger on Eddie’s part.

-More on Eddie: My personal headcanon for this fic which i find mildly hilarious is actually that teen Eddie definitely had at least like twenty different “phases” that he goes through--like he has this lovesick phase in his early teens where he’s being all “weird” and genuine with Richie and listening to fuckin’ Whitney Houston and the Footloose soundtrack, his rebellious phase in his late teens where he’s smoking and sneaking out, kind of a bitchy phase in the middle around when he starts to get more frustrated with Richie than not—and it all just adds to Richie having nO idea what the fuck to make of Eddie once they’ve passed the point of puberty because every month is like a whole different Eddie

-I also listened to the fleetwood mac song “Silver Springs” a lot!!!! That’s this Eddie’s particular brand of Yearning™️

-In my head, Eddie probably remembers all of it so fast because he ended up spending way more time in Derry than Richie or some of the other Losers. I think Eddie probably did end up going to college in-state and living at home with his mom, just because he was so angry and hurt by what Richie did before he left that most of what Richie tried to tell him that day about not letting Sonia run his life sort of lost its merit from Eddie’s perspective. Which eventually leads to Eddie marrying Myra.

-I know I’ve taken some liberties with like, the extent of Richie and Bev’s friendship but whatever i don’t care canon is wrong & i’m right

-Eddie touches on it a bit in chapter 4 but Richie is like. Just genuinely an incredibly selfless person and that definitely (unfortunately) comes from a lack of self-worth but it’s ironic because I think he views himself as being very selfish.

-Richie’s mind does leaps and bounds clinging to all the homophobic shit he’s been led to believe about himself his whole life, and that’s honestly the hardest part of this fic to write. Not just ‘cause it’s sad but because a lot of it doesn’t make sense when it’s written out on paper. Because, obviously, it’s all bullshit. But it leads him to do stuff like, when Eddie literally kisses him and has his hand on his dick and spells it out in so many words that he loves him, Richie’s brain literally can’t even accept that at face value. He thinks he’s somehow poisoned him or tricked him into thinking that and it’s all fuckin sad :(

-Bev introduces Richie to sad yearning 80′s rock but Bill introduces Richie to New Order and Depeche Mode so let’s not forget that Bill has rights!!!

-I honestly think most all of the Losers suspected that Richie was gay--or at least in love with Eddie--to some extent. Bill probably the least of anyone; I think Bill likely just heard the mean shit people would say about Richie and maybe assumed it wasn’t true. Mike is very observant of his friends so I think he knew, and Ben recognized the way Richie felt about Eddie was the same way he felt about Bev.

Anyway that’s all I can think of right now--but it’s absolutely not obnoxious thank you for the ask!!!

[grasslandgirl]

2,5,6,7,23,35,47 !

hi yeah this week on CLAIRE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU 

2: one of your favorite comments/reviews [on this chapter/verse]?

oh gosh i got a comment a while back on Half Rights and Half Wrongs where someone said my fic made them feel like “that vine of that lawnmower flying in the air with like whitney houston singing over it” and they then preceeded to link it in the comments for me (you can watch it here if you haven’t seen it, it’s hilarious) and like. it’s genuinely one of the best comments ive ever gotten it nearly made me cry

and also?? i got so many wonderful comments on the first installment of you gonna break my heart, Sammy? specifically emma ( @lewissimon ) like. wrote an essay and listed out things she loved about it and like... my heart is FULL in this chili’s toniiiiiight !!!

5: do you write scenes in a linear fashion or do you write future scenes/dialogues sometimes?

mostly i write linearly (is that a word? whatever) bc i need the like. drive that having a scene that i Really Wanna Write gives me to power through some of the stuff that i dont really want to write?

like if im writing part A of a fic, and theres a scene thats like part G that i really want to get into and am super inspired about, i have to force myself to write parts B-F before i let myself write G bc then its like a built in motivation? because mostly if i just am like i want to write [x scene] and then jump ahead to do so then i have no motivation to go Back and write all the less interesting but still necessary filler stuff and then it never gets done

like i made myself spend all this time writing the build up in the middle of you gonna break my heart, Sammy even though i really wanted to get into the confession time because i knew if i jumped ahead i just wouldn’t finish the rest!

occasionally if i have like a SUPER specific scene/moment in mind ill go in and write a little bit of it so i dont lose the moment in my brain, but then i always make myself go back and fill in up to that point before continuing forward

6: hardest/easiest character to write for?

i live in constant terror of writing a character ooc or getting their like Character Voice wrong- so ive found that the easiest characters for me to write are the ones that have Really Specific Voices- both in the literal sense of how the talk, but also in the figurative sense of how they think/react/see the world/etc

so like. thats why i find Dylan Maxwell (american vandal) and Taako (the adventure zone) for example to be really easy to write- thier voices are very specific and dynamic and therefore easy for me to mimic/replicate and also easy for me to tell when they dont Sound Right- if that makes sense?

inversely, characters i dont have a specific Mental Voice for are really hard for me to write comfortably- frankly im struggling with Peter and Sam right now a little bit and struggled with thier voices in the second half of writing you gonna break my heart, sammy because its been so long since ive watched av or written for them that ive lost how they sound in my mind- which probably means its time to rebinge american vandal !!

(additionally- PLEASE always tell me if a character is extremely ooc or extremely i guess Not ooc? those kinds of notes are always a comfort to get about my writing bc its something i stress about and am self conscious about!)

7: hardest/easiest verse to write for?

really im a character writer all the way, so the easiest verse to write for is which ever one whos characters are taking up residence in my brain- and vice versa for the hardest verse! it really just depends on how much of that verse-specific content im taking in and how much of my mental energy im putting into that verse that impacts how easy/difficult it is to write for it

23: feelings on epistolary fic?

um not really my style reading- or writing-wise? im not against them and if the premise seemed interesting enough id probably read it, but i doubt id ever write one- most of my writing is pretty thought-, dialogue-, and interaction-centric, which aren’t really things that are common in epistolary works 

35: any foreshadowing/symbolism you wrote that you hope your readers didn’t miss?

oh gosh this is sweet that you think im a good enough writer or forward thinker to include any real or subtle foreshadowing or symbolism in my fics....... i mean if anything just the small moments in you gonna break my heart, sammy where sam is like “oh this is Fake im feeling Friendship Feelings peter likes me as a Friend obviously hahah” as like foreshadowing in the BAREST of terms as to their growing like. deeper feelings for eachother? but those always felt- and were intended to be- kind of glaringly obvious to the audience/reader, mostly as a dramatic irony to sam’s own obliviousness to his own and sam’s feelings

47: story with the most comments?

Half Rights and Half Wrongs by a MILE (83!) but like. half of those are probably my own comments responding to people bc whenever i get a comment my heart grows grinch-like three sizes so! 

claire thank you so so so so so so much for this and everyone else PLEASE feel free to send me a number from this list here about fanfic/writer questions and check out my work on ao3- im grasslandgirl there as well!