#this is why you bring a magnet in a sock when checking out a car

[demoness-one]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SPRAY FOAM BODYWORK

asjhgdsfgd unfortunately its exactly what it sounds like 😭😭

how to create a Rust Belt Special:

step 1: identify your rusty hole area

step 2: apply spray foam. liberally

step 3: just like making a marble sculpture! shave off what doesnt look like a car shape

step 4: (optional, some skip straight to step 6) apply bodyfill. liberally

step 5: sand down your lovely bodyfilled spot into a car shape

step 6: slap some paint on that bad boy and call it done! now offload this car to some sucker immediately so you dont have to be confronted by your shame in the driveway everyday

disclaimer: i have not done this, my coworkers on the other hand are very proud of their past "bodywork" on various shitboxes to squeak them past one last inspection

[jaysonsalt]

It's funny what being in the Scouts did to me. I got lucky, ended up in a good troop, and had a great time, but it's affected me in small but noticeable ways.

Most of all has been preparation/packing for things. My ADHD ass forgets things constantly, but I almost always have a few things on my person or in my car or in my vicinity that I brought cause I glanced over the itinerary and knew from experience I should probably have.

For example, I'm going to be out of town at a farm tomorrow & the next day. I need my toothbrush, two pairs of jeans, three shirts, three sets of underwear, four sets of socks, a knife, a hat, and my hiking boots. On me would be my phones, a charger, my nalgene(scout thing) and my license.

Optional bring alongs would be a rope/paracord, my 800lbs magnet, my laptop, and maybe some kind of snack. I should check the weather, maybe I'll need a jacket or poncho. Grandpa's brand of earplugs are itchy, so bring a few packs of my own.

Past me, before scouts, or me, without scouts, would have definitely overpacked, underpacked, and outright forgotten things, and I know that for a fact.

Even on smaller trips, like going to a friend's for DND, I make a mental note to grab things I wouldn't normally. For most people, this is common sense, to some degree, but to me, Scouts taught me what I can survive a weekend, a week, and a month with and without, and what things I can bring to make it easier.

And it also colors my daily interactions. I learned how to interact with adults, how to respect someone's authority and still get my way (I've had my fair share of power hungry senior patrol leaders), how to teach people things, and how to lead others from alongside, instead of from above.

And I don't always realize I'm doing it. I did it by accident when I joined the theatre company at my high school. I wasn't planning to overshadow anyone, or create my own subgroup of technicians, or do the set head's job for him (honestly though why him?). I found that I was doing it subconsciously, and new people were brought to me first, and people were looking for work and to coordinate people. It was nice to step back from it toward the end of production, honestly.

All of this is to say I'm not sure who I would be without the Scouts, and I owe a massive thank you to Mr. Payne for helping me through it and working with me.

TLDR scouts got me and I haven't been the same since

[lifepros]

#13118

If you ever have to live in your car... How to save money & be comfortable!

Bring Milk Crates For More Surface Area: If you have a small car like I do, you probably won't be able to sleep comfortably in the back seat due to the lack of surface area. In reference this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_Usqf7aNxg), you can place milk crates in your backseat and cover them with blankets to increase your sleep surface area. You might even be able to extend your legs all the way! If you still can't, like me, it's still quite comfortable. I cycle through 3 sleep positions:

Back against the seat, head facing the windshield, legs 90% extended over milk crates. This is known as the "J Sleeping Position" in the YouTube video Butt resting against front seats with most of body on the milk crates, head facing the direction of the rear windshield. Leg extension will probably be about 70%. Face down with right leg near a 90 degree angle on top of the milk crates, and left leg 100% extended into the crevice between the passenger seat and the door.

How To Wash Dishes: When you finish your meal, use paper towels to wipe out all the food scraps that are left on your utensils, plates, and bowls. After it looks completely empty, use a dish brush, a bit of water, and some dishsoap to lather up all your things with soap. After they're all lathered up, use a squirt bottle of water (to direct and conserve water) to wash off all the soap. Ideally, you would use very hot water, but that's not always realistic.

Cover Your Windows: You should cover your windows, not only for privacy, but so you have an easier time sleeping at night without as much light coming in. You can cut out black plastic to cover your driver-side windows & place them by rolling up your window to trap the plastic so it dangles down. Your windshield can easily be covered by a traditional sun cover, usually used to block the sun's heat from getting trapped in your car. Your rear-windows are best covered with a window sleeve that acts as a bug net, this way you reduce the transparency of the window, but more importantly you can open the windows a crack and get ventilation without risking any bugs from coming in. The best way I found to cover the rear windshield is with black plastic placed from the interior of the car, and using strong magnets to hold it (placed on the interior and exterior of the car). This is all partly shown in this Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_Usqf7aNxg

Getting & Storing Water: Some people recommend asking businesses to use their water supply (visible outside the building) to fill up your water tanks, but I haven't had success with that. It's hard to find, the employees usually don't know the water supply exists or if they're allowed to allow you to use it, and I usually just get told no. Instead, I fill up a 5 gallon jerry can with water at the grocery stores, which is great because this water is meant for drinking. This means you can get clean water super cheap for both drinking and bathing. For storing your shower water, you put it in a 5 gallon bucket with a waterproof sealing lid. For drinking water, you can keep it in your 5 gallon canister and pour it into water jugs (using a funnel) whenever you run low in your bottles.

How To Accessibly Cook Quickly & Easily Anywhere & Store Fuel: I can't give tips on how to cook quickly and easily without making product recommendations, which is not allowed in this group. As for storing fuel, I can't make this recommendation blatantly for all fuel as they have different temperature storage requirements. For the fuel I use, which I cannot mention due to the rules, I've been recommended to store it under the passenger seat (to minimize exposure to heat) and I haven't had any problems. When storing fuel, make sure you park your car under shade whenever possible (during hot days) and put the sun visor up in your windshield to block some heat.

How To Find Work: I can't recommend specific places to find work due to the rules, but what I can do is recommend freelancing and/or independent contracting gigs (which let you choose your own schedule, who you do business with, and where you work). Although, it seems the US may pass legislation to remove most (accessible) contractor work and consider it employment, which would remove contracting's beneficial, flexibile qualities. Keep an eye on that!

Eat All Your Meals at Once (Unless You Eat Out): If you're working while you live in your car, it's really impossible to cook 3 meals a day due to all the prep-time, eating-time, and clean-up-time it takes. You can fall into a pattern of eating one meal a day without feeling hungry, but please ensure you're eating enough calories for your age, weight, etc. You should probably also see a doctor to make sure it's safe to do for you. It saves a lot of time and makes the day's routines so much easier.

Do Your Own Laundry: Laundromats can get expensive if you go frequently, and you may not have even brought enough clothes with you to get through a few days without doing laundry. Some people do their own laundry in buckets, but it seems like too much set-up and too much water. I had success doing 1-2 loads of laundry per day in a "wash bag." It takes literally 5-7 minutes to wash & rinse each load of laundry. To dry it fast, you can "squeegee" the clothes with your hand to get any leftover water out, then place it with maximum surface area exposed onto a laid out towel. After all your clothes are laid out onto the towel, you can roll up the towel with the clothes in it until it looks like a long snake. Then, you can squeeze, press, and even put your knees all across the towel a few times to get as much water absorbed from the clothes into the towel's fibers. After this is done, you can hang a clothesline with paracord in the woods from tree to tree to hang your laundry by clothespins in the sun. Personally, and this might not be healthy, I hang my laundry on a clothesline in the back seat of my car with a towel laid underneath, and I try to park my car in locations where the clothes will be exposed to sunlight. By the end of the day, the clothes are almost always completely dry, even on cloudy, rainy days.

Go To A Real Laundromat 1x a Month: The towel you use to dry your clothes should definitley be washed, but it's probably too big to fit in a wash bag. Your blankets are also likely too big. This is why I take all my stuff to the laundromat for one "real" wash a month. Just because I'm going, I also include all my clothes which are ordinarily washed by the wash bag, as well as my pillowcases and anything else I can find that might need a wash.

The Cheapest & Most Accessible Shower Option: Some people use gym memberships to have consistent access to a shower, but gyms can be expensive and if you're traveling, you won't always have access to the same gym, and you probably don't want to have 10 different gym memberships.We're going old-school and using a bucket full of water. I take my jerry can full of water and fill up a 5 gallon bucket about halfway. I go out into the woods with a "shower tent" (for privacy), a change of clothes, flip flops, a bucket of water, shampoo/soap/hygiene items, a small towel, a bag (holding most of this), and a canteen. I set up the shower tent and fill up my backpack full of all the clothes I was previously wearing. I then put my bag of clothes and shoes outside the tent, while I'm nude wearing flipflops inside the tent. Then, I use a canteen to pickup some water from the bucket and do 1 big dunk of water over my head, trying to get it to run over my whole body. I take a 2nd canteen full of water to wash over areas I missed (armpits, groin, etc). 1st thing I wash is my hair with shampoo. Then I lather up with soap all over my body. After that, I take about 5 or 6 canteens full of water to wash off the soap with water. Most of the time when I wash my body, since I'm pretty tall, I do it in a crouched position so I can hold the canteen above my head in the shower tent. After I'm all washed off, I dry off with the small towel and start putting on my clothes except my socks. I go outside the tent to sit down on a rock and dry off my feet and put on my socks and shoes (without getting the socks wet). I usually try to shower around 6 or 7am when there's less people around and there's daylight (and there aren't mosquitos everywhere). If you have leftover water in your bucket, you can put a waterproof sealing lid over the top of it to store the bucket safely in your car.

How To Be Covert: It's hard to be covert about sleeping in your car because you'll have black plastic hanging on the outside when you're sleeping, and during the day you'll have laundry in your back seat. I don't have a solution for any of that. But, in the morning, when you shower, you might have some serious stage fright if there's people around. What I like to do is pretend I'm going for an early morning workout into the woods (usually of a park or hiking trail). My backpack carries all my hygiene items so no one sees them. I carry the bucket full of water with the lid on as if I'm going for a workout carrying heavy stuff into the woods. Over my clothes I'm wearing an overlay warm-up/workout jacket and pants. That way, when I shower and change clothes and come back, I'll still have the overlay jacket and everything over it, so people won't see the change of clothes and won't be suspicious. Also, in the event someone comes across you in your tent and asks what's going on, you can make up a lame excuse (and see if they accept it) that you saw a tick on your body and wanted to do a quick tick check before you return to your car (so the tick doesn't escape into your car). I haven't had anyone come across me before. One of the most important parts of being covert when showering is actually going deep enough into the woods, off the hiking trail, to be away from people for the short time you'll spend showering.

Where To Sleep: You can sleep in most Walmart parking lots without having to buy anything. Some Walmarts don't allow people to park there, so you might consider calling the Walmart before you come. You can also sleep in truck stops, but I'd recommend doing your research to make sure it's popular and big enough so that you'd feel safe. There are apps with listed places you can park for the night, and some truck stop apps tell you how many parking spaces their truck stops have (so you can guage popularity).

Security: Never tell anyone where you're sleeping or even that you're sleeping in your car. If you feel unsafe where you're parked, find a new place to park for the night. I recommend carrying a knife and/or pepper spray if you feel comfortable. At the very least, carry a loud whistle. Always lock your doors at night. Have a flashlight/lantern accessible and nearby. If you're exceptionally worried about getting mugged or things stolen from you, I've heard a tip where people wear a fly fishing vest underneath their clothes and keep all their important possessions in its pockets. If someone mugs you quickly, they'll probably just ask you to empty your pockets and it'd be too difficulty/long to have you take off all your clothes and then unzipper your pockets and empty them. Other than that, always make sure someone knows where you are and where you're going, checks up with you in the morning to make sure you're safe, and are "on-call" in case you call or text them in an emergency.

​

NOTE: I do not sleep in my car full-time. I go every once in a while for 5-7 day (or so) bouts because I find it enjoyable. The 1st thing I wanted to do when I started this was find strategies to make car-living comfortable and easy. I really hope these tips find someone in need and helps them strategize a way to do so comfortably and frugally.

​

Updates:

Charging Electronics: You can get a power bank that holds a long charge. Use this to charge things like your fan, phone, smaller power banks, laptop, etc. The best place for charging things that I've found are public libraries. A great way to access wifi, get work done, keep in touch with people, etc, all while your power bank charges. Look for power banks that can charge a laptop 2-3+ times.

Staying Cool In The Summer: Getting an electric car fan (that works by USB) will save your sanity in the summer. You can place it between the driver and passenger seat at night and direct it either at you, or at the ceiling to circulate the air. I don't think living in a car can be comfortable in the heat without a quality fan.

[harris-coopers]

Lili Reinhart takes naps anytime she can get. 

We spend a third of our lives asleep—that means our bedroom is the most lived-in space in our homes. It’s the room where we start and end our days, and that’s why the rituals that happen there are extra-important. In The Wind Down, we’ll be exploring the nighttime routines of people we admire and taking their advice to make the moments just before bed feel our best—even when we’re on the go.

“I’ve traveled more in the past three years than I have in my entire life,” Lili Reinhart says. “It’s been an adventure.” The actress launched into stardom as Betty Cooper on Riverdale just a few years ago, and more recently appeared in the box-office hit Hustlers—hence why you might just find her napping, well, pretty much everywhere: a car, her trailer, a dressing room, and definitely on planes. (She has to recharge somehow!)

At this point, the newly minted frequent flier (who loves racking up points on her American Express Green Card) has her traveling routine down to a T. Here, she explains her methods for making the most of her time in the air and how she chills out after landing.

Log off: I check my phone before we take off and get my last dose of the Internet. I never really pay for WiFi. When I’m in the air, I think: It’s pretty pathetic if I’m paying for WiFi. I can take five hours off unless I have very urgent emails to answer.

Easy z’s: I am lucky enough that I can sleep on planes, so I always do. The red-eye I took last night was just four-and-a-half hours, but I slept for three and a half of those. Today I landed at 7 a.m. and took an hour nap on the car ride from the airport to my hotel before I started hair and makeup for the day. Literally, whenever possible, I sleep; I’ll set my alarm for 30 minutes whenever I’m tired. I was even sleeping during my lunch break.

Reset button: I take a lot of baths. Luckily, I have a good tub in my apartment in Vancouver. I use either Epsom salts, a bath bomb, or a nice little bubble bath situation. I try not to look at my phone, but I always do—I like scrolling through it when I’m lounging in the bath.

Travel uniform: I like to wear baggy jeans, never dresses, because I’m always curling up in a little ball. I’ll always wear boots or sneakers—it grosses me out to have any part of my foot exposed. And I always bring a jacket because I get so cold on planes. Even when I’m like, “Oh, it’s 90 degrees, I’ll be fine,” I’m freezing.

Featured picture: I don’t watch too many films on planes (because I’m usually sleeping), but the last ones I saw were the movie Jennifer Lopez did before Hustlers, Second Act, and Atomic Blonde. I usually watch a blockbuster rather than an indie; things that I missed in the theater.

Snack time: I’ve gone through different stages of snacks. At one point, I really liked Sour Patch Kids, then M&M’s, then peach cups, then sandwiches. Now I’m in an in-between stage where I don’t have a preference. I just try not to have Pringles. It’s such an airplane food to me—I’m like: You’re the last resort.

Write on: I don’t ever sit down and think, Yeah, I’m going to write right now. It truly comes to me when it comes to me. I’ll write in the notes on my phone, although I do love writing with pen and paper.

Carry-on extras: I bring a nice going-out dress, just in case I decide to leave the hotel. Lately I’ve been having to remind myself to pack my workout clothes. When I’m in L.A., I like to do reformer Pilates—I have those special Pilates socks.

Must-buy souvenir: My grandma collects magnets; she hangs them on the side of her fridge. I went to Aruba last year with my best friend, so I got her a magnet from there, and something from Notre Dame when I went last year. I collect little things for her, but nothing really for myself. Although I like to take photographs, and I’ll keep ticket stubs if I see a show somewhere.

source:

[tf-guru]

From selling to building [f->Raven] MC

Isn't it crazy how one simple decision can change your entire life. Investing in the right place at the right places, losing your life savings after a shady internet deal, hell even forgetting your coffee one morning causing you to collide with a lamppost. God I would kill for even a sip of coffee, hard to get it in my current situation. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

My name was Valley Jackson, one of the most successful realtors in Southern California. I don't know why I'm creating this manuscript in my head, its not like I'll be able to write or even tell someone about it. Maybe it's what I would create if I were to be human again. Maybe it's just to keep me sane. Regardless here's what happened.

I had been traveling north to LA to secure a deal with one of my higher paying clients, normally I'd have them come to me but due to their status I decided to make the drive. I was on the highway around 10:30 at night when I missed my exit. That little mistake cost me everything...

Valley let out an exasperated curse as she looked ahead to see when the next exit would be coming up. In her 42 years of living in California she had visited LA maybe three times. Seeing the next exit approached she signaled and got off the highway. She was 5'6" with an absolutely stunning figure. At that time her auburn hair hung just below her shoulders and her nails were painted white. She looked down at her gps and saw as it started to emmit static before shutting off entirely

"Damn it" she muttered as she realized she was in the middle of nowhere. After about a half hour of driving in circles she finally was about to give up and try again in the morning when a sign glinted just ahead. It read "Pan's antique shop. Open 24 hours! Maps and sightseeing guides provided."

"Oh thank god! Kinda strange its open 24 hours but I guess when tourism is your biggest income it wouldn't hurt to take in a late night traveler."

Soon she pulled into the long driveway marked by another sign. Down the road was a decent sized rustic store. Its arched windows alight with a yellow glow. She parked her car and entered the shop. Behind the counter was a twenty something man who was reading a book. He looked up and said

"Hi welcome to Pan's antique shop. What can I help you with?" Valley replied

"Oh I'm on my way to LA and missed my exit, do you have a map I could look at?"

"Sure, feel free to look around while I get them."

As he took a door behind his desk Valley looked around. There were various items, old political pins, rotary phones, a Walkman, but Valley only saw one thing that caught her eye. It was a pair of Raven shaped earrings. She was drawn to them almost magnetically, their golden beaks glinting in the shops lights.. She grabbed them and headed back to the counter. The man had returned with a few traveling maps.

"Did you find something you like?"

"Yeah, just these earrings. I take it you're Pan?"

He gave a small chuckle with a hint of something else but Valley couldn't quite determine what

"Oh no, definitely not. Pan's the owner, I just work night shift."

"Ah, well thank you!" She paid for the earrings and grabbed the maps.

"Drive safe!"

As Valley started to leave she suddenly felt really lightheaded before passing out completely.

"We're just gonna head about a hundred more feet ahead then we've made it to the camping spot."

Valley opened her eyes to see one of the magnificent California redwoods ahead of her. Confused, she looked over to see who spoke.

"You okay Valley? You look kinda pale." The speaker was a woman around her age with brown hair and a more slim figure than Valley's

"Who are you? How do you know my name?"

"Uh Valley are you okay? Its me, your childhood friend Hailey? Do you seriously not know? Maybe we should look at that medici-"

"Im just kidding Hailey!" She was sensitive about discussing her medication. New memories appeared as she realized she did know Hailey, of course she did. She also remembered how she had decided to take this trip to celebrate Haileys 40th birthday.

"So just another 100ft Hay?"

"Yeah, if you're sure you're alright."

The pair continued the 100 feet before coming across a good enough sized clearing. Valley looked around while Hailey removed her tent bag from her back.

"You gonna help or just gawk?"

"Be right there Hailey!"

After some tribulations the pair managed to secure the tent to the ground. Valley removed two sleeping bags from her backpack and the pair began to undress. However as Valley took off her jeans something clattered to the ground. She reached down and picked up a pair of Raven earrings. Hailey turned around and froze.

"That's odd, I thought I got these on my way to-" she stopped as regained recollection of what had just been happening a few hours prior. She scratched her arm and looked at Hailey

"Oh uh silly Valley dont you remember getting those at the trail gift shop?"

"I got these at an antique shop today. In fact, I don't remember what happened after that. Did you drug me?"

"Valley you're not thinking clearly must be the medi-"

"No! Its not my medication! I don't even know you!"

"Valley I-"

"Did you bring me here to kidnapp me? Are people coming to kill me? I'm leaving!" Valley exited the tent with no pants or shirt and started to head back to the road.

"Wait!" Valley gave the finger and continued.

"I said wait." Hailey said in a dominant tone and Valley suddenly felt her knees lock. Something or someone was controlling her.

"What the hell?"

"Valley, I'm sorry it has to go this way. I was hoping-"

"Somebody help! Somebod-"

"Silence" Valley tried to scream again but no sound came out. She looked back to Hailey, terrified.

"Im sorry you're having to go through this. Here's how its gonna go, you are going to transform into a raven in a minute or two. My name is Hailey but this isn't me"

Before Valleys eyes Hailey underwent her own transformation. Her breasts retreated slightly into her chest as she lost some height. Her features softened and when it completed she looked to be in her early twenties.

"Im gonna give you the ability to speak and move but please don't scream."

She snapped her fingers and Valley fell to the ground. She looked up at Hailey and retorted

"I dont know what kind of drugs you've filled me with but-" she looked at her arm as she felt and itch. On her left arm was a single black feather. Not laying on it but actually attached to it. She pulled at it only to feel a sharp pain. As she watched more feathers sprouted down her arm. With each feather she grimaced but as soon as they reached her hand something else happened.

Her fingers merged together to form a single appendage. Only then did she realize it was real.

"P-please don't do this to me. I have a life! A career!"

"Don't worry, Pan's already sorted everything out. All your clients belive they've been using a different realtor, your family only remembers your brother. Its all packed away."

"I want to talk to Pan, please!"

She looked at her foot and saw three sharp talons poke through her sock. With her good hand she reached down and removed the sock. To her shock her ankle was covered by a corse yellow layer of a scale like texture.

"Im sorry, no can do. Pan's pretty busy and doesn't worry about stuff like this. I can take a message though."

"Please tell him to stoooaaaawk!" She grabbed her mouth and felt as her lips began to hardnen and push back against her hand.

"I'll tell him that, here's this." She handed a small mirror to Valley who looked into it. Her face also had jet black feathers on it, removing her hand revealed a small beak forming. Three more talons burst from her other foot as she pleaded once again

"I caaaaw! I caan't be a raven! I'm a human!" Hailey walked over and removed Valley's undergarments. Looking into the mirror Valley saw her face was covered in feathers and her mouth had finished becoming a beak. Her other arm followed the first as she dropped the mirror. Trying one last time she tried to plead

"Caw! Caw caw!" No matter how hard she tried she couldn't speak. So, she reached out with her wing and touched Haileys hand. But as she reached out it became harder and harder to extend her arm as they slowly tucked behind her back. She looked down with a shiver of ironic pleasure as her anus and vagina moved together to form her cloaca. Then she began to shrink. She hunched over, her body reforming so she would never stand upright again. As the transformation finished Valley looked down into the mirror and saw her eye shift from brown to purple, she fully resembled a raven. New thoughts entered her mind

'Eggs'

'Nesting'

'Flight'

'Mating'

'Offspring'

While she retained her human thoughts and mind she now had these new impulses and urges. She looked up to see Hailey writing in small notebook.

"Valley, Raven with purple eyes, room..." she checks her watch

"Room a2e365. I'm sorry this happened but try to become acclimated with your new life. Goodbye Valley."

She then faded away, leaving Valley alone.

Well, that's my story. After Hailey left I was forced to adapt to my new body. The first month I would continually hope to just wake up in my bed, ready for my old life. But that never happened. I got used to eating whatever I could find and flying oh flying. If there is any upside to the change (I still want to go back to my old life every day) its flying. Being able to soar through the skies unrestricted is freeing. The area im in is strange because if I fly more than around two miles in any direction I blink and end up back at the (now gone) campsite. I eventually figured put how to build a nest. Its not much, just some twigs in a tree but its mine.

One day I was doing my daily routine when I heard a whistle from bellow me. Soaring down I saw Hailey with a bag of birdseed. I perched on a tree branch near her and stared at her with resent. I continued my gaze until she extended some seed and my bird instincts took over and I automatically ate some.

"Thats better, I'm sorry I took so long to visit. How are you doing? I know its a big change but at least you have plenty of room to fly around. I got you this by the way, should make things easier."

She hung a small bird feeder on a nearby branch and continued

"Well, I'll be back." And she left me alone once again. She still visits every once in a while telling me more about how I'm lucky I still have my intellect and how I could behave been left as a mindless bird. I guess I am kinda lucky. Hold on, I see another Raven approaching my nest. Ooo he's a male, maybe ill get to feel the full bird experience ;)

[magnusarchivis]

W: SPOILERS FOR TMA EPISODE 76! [ Recorder begins. ]

Jon: “Right. Let's get on with it. Recorded direct from subject, 29th, January. Statement begins.”

Melanie rolls her eyes. "Now hold on, I want the shirt you promised first."

Jon sighs. "Don't you think there are more important matters to be discussed. A shirt can wait."

Melanie: "Maybe I need a little more incentive to share my story. I promise I won't take it and run. It's chilly in here is all."

Jon: He doesn't respond for a short period, and just stares at Melanie before he yields and reaches down into his shoulder bag and pulls out a "I :heart: NY" shirt. He places it on the table between them.  "Don't see why a t-shirt will do you any service, but here."

Melanie: "Thank you." Melanie slides the shirt to her side of the table and takes a pocketknife to one of the shoulders, creating a row of parallel slits. She slides the shirt over her head, wary of her jewelry. "It's a bout the layering, Jon."  Melanie takes a deep breath then and shifts her focus to the table.

"Right, so my statement. Well uh, don't know if you know, but Ghost Hunt has basically gone belly up, it's just me now. Everyone's left and I've been continuing with that research I told you about when I first came in here. Just without a team. But I've found out quite a lot."

Jon: Jon’s caught off guard by the pocket knife and it'd be a lie to say he didn't lean back in his seat. He watches as she cuts into it.  "I haven't particularly noticed, but. Tell me whats worth of value."

Melanie: "Yeah I figured as much. Well, the best bit of this story is about an abandoned train car in a recycling plant. I had been reading up on this specific car for a while now. Following several different stories online and in forums and such. This car's been in and out of several different recycling plant but never goes into the queue. There was something about it, there was just enough tangible evidence that it worth checking out. Well currently it's sitting in the biggest train graveyard in the UK, so off I went. I watched it a while, looking for the best way in away from cameras. I successfully made it in without detection and then I found it." Melanie looks off to the side as she trails off for a second and pauses.

Jon: "So you broke in. Was this at night?" He says this with little judgement.

Melanie: "Well yeah that's when most breaking and entering happens. So I got in and I found it. It was large and old, the green paint peeling off the sides and just as the forums said, it reeked of blood." Melanie makes a face before continuing. "It still had it's serial number,  which I thankfully had the thought to write down before everything went to shit." She has been bouncing her leg throughout and in quick moment pushes away from the table to pace in a short line. "I thought I saw people sitting in the train, it could have been my eyes playing tricks on me, seeing things in the shadows that weren't there, but the body I saw on the gurney was very real. It was inside the train, blood was streaming from it steadily towards me and onto the floor. It twitched, and writhed a every so often. I felt sick. And then out of nowhere there was this man, dressed in fatigues and he," She pauses. "And he ran over the body, I didn't even hear him coming and he just plunged this scalpel into this...this person over and over. The sound was horrid and he just kept going, I wasn't processing it I guess because I didn't even noticed when he ran at me."

She stops pacing to close her eyes and take a shuddering breath. "And that's the story of how I got stabbed. I told you the rest already. I don't what happened between the stabbing and being dragged away by security guards. But I spent the whole time before being whisked away in an ambulance ranting and ravin about what I saw. Needless to say no one believed me."

Jon: Jon pauses, and he stares at Melanie before looking down at the table. He then eyes the tape recorder. "I. See. While, it is possible that you could've stabbed yourself in a state of--- well, psychosis or other. I'd like more details before I'm resorted to that conclusion. "

He props one leg over the other.

"Did you look into the history of the car, or is there any other details you might've missed."

Martin: There is a gentle knock at the door. Very gentle. Tiny knock.

Melanie: "That I stabbed myself? Are you serious right now? Are you going to do this--- this thing every time?" Melanie huffs and drops into the chair. "And just so you know, I did do my research. The car was active in World War II and then it crashed in 1945, 5 dead and 14 wounded, and this is the one car that somehow survived the derailment. And the most detailed account I can find on the crash is by one William W, Hay. Which is what brings me here to the Institute, he features heavily in your library."

Jon: Jon stares at Melanie with a deadened expression as he answers the door. "You may enter."

Martin: Martin peeks his head in. He can smell the tension in the room like a dirty sock. He pushes the door open with his arm and holds up a plate of tea and biscuits. "Hello Melanie. Sorry, I meant to get here earlier for your tea."

Melanie: Some of the tension leaves Melanie, just a bit. "Hi Martin and thank you for the tea. No need to apologize, we're pretty much done here."

Jon: "We're far from done."

Martin: "Well, whether you're done or not, have some tea. Brought milk and sugar. And I brought these biscuits from home, I hope you like them. Just shortbreads with some chocolate chips, so no worries if you have chocolate allergies." Martin comes in and sets the tray down on the table, and, oh! He looks like he just remembered something. "I almost forget!" He pulls out the very glitzy, ugly magnet from New York he got her. It's a yellow taxi. It's bedazzled. "Here you are!"

Melanie: "We are going to be done pretty soon if you keep acting like a pompous ass. Anyway," Melanie takes some time to prepare the tea to her liking and is delighted with the magnet. "Oh, I love this, Martin. Thank you! It's terrible in the best way."

Jon: Jon frowns, and sounds somewhat irritable, and he doesn't look up at Martin for a moment. "So you want to continue your research on this William W. Hay. After getting stabbed. And for what reason. To go back and start all over?"

Martin: Martin quickly looks between them for a moment, kinda nervous. So he slowly dips out. And just. Uh. Waves to Melanie before scooching out the room.

Melanie: "Yes. I mean I could do without the stabbing bit. But I need to get to the bottom of this. I want to know why it happens. What causes is it. Don't act like you don't know what I mean, I heard the way they talk about you upstairs, you know. You're exactly the same. So don't you sit there and lecture me on how to curb my curiosity."

Martin: Martin is totally eavesdropping.

Jon: He reaches up to scratch his jaw. "I wouldn't go as far as comparing our situation as I did not get stabbed. " Jon pauses. Knowing he's gonna go to far. "Sasha can lead you to Sonya. If you want the damned book."

Melanie: "You--- ugh!" Melanie just sighs. "Yeah alright, whatever. I don't why I continue to bother talking to you. I don't know if this is some kind of game to you or if you get your kicks out of confusing people but it's a pretty shit thing to do. It's no wonder no one upstairs can stand you. But yeah I'll go, I'll leave you to keep sulking in your basement alone."

Melanie pauses to fiddle with the magnet for a moment.

"What happened to the other Sasha? I wanted to talk to her. You didn't drive her away did you?"

Jon: Jon's ABOUT to say something mean and stupid, but he pauses. "What do you mean. She brought you in."

Melanie: "Yeah, that was Sasha but I'm talking about the other one. The one I met in what? April? When I came here the first time. That one had glasses."

Jon: Jon shakes his head. "You're not getting me. That. Is the same Sasha."

Melanie: "I'm not trying to get you. You're the on who plays those games not me. The Sasha who led me down here is not the same woman I met before."

Jon: "No. I'm not playing a game. There's just sasha. We've never had more than one. The one who escorted you was sasha."

Melanie: "This isn't fucking funny anymore, Jon. There is absolutely no way that is the same woman from before. You can drop it now."

Jon: Jon sounds irritable at this point, and he clenches his jawn, standing up slowly. "There is--. You, can drop it, Melanie. Sasha has never changed. She's same as she was the first time you met her. We've never had two sashas. "

Melanie: "Oh my god. What is wrong with you? You know what, I'm not doing this emotional tug of war with you anymore, Jon." Melanie pushes back from the table grabbing a handful of biscuits and storms out slamming the door behind her.

Martin: Martin jumps when the door opens and takes a step back. Looking very guilty for listening in and being caught. He looks between the two of them and tries to call after her.

"I, uh, um, Melanie! Are you-- uhh. Do you need...?" He's having a hard time with words.

Jon: He sighs.  [ Recorder ends. ]

[ohmyohpioneer]

my best friend’s brother is also on this snowy vacation queliot headcanon:

So I just got back from a snowy vacation and I was a little winedrunk on the plane and I thought (and consequently typed) a truly idiotic headcanon. 

Quentin is invited (ok bullied into but with good intentions) last minute by his friend, Margo, to come on her big annual ski trip and even though he doesn’t ski because his parents never had the money he says yes because it feels nice to be invited and, well, he likes Margo. It can’t be that bad, right?

Except that it kind of can because he didn’t realize Margo’s older brother, Eliot, is also invited (why did this not occur to him because of course he is) until Eliot steps out of the car, all regal and long legs in a crazy expensive but ok pretty cute Canada Goose parka.

And he knows Eliot. It’s not like they’ve never met before. Which is kind of the problem because Quentin inexplicably just really likes him. I mean, yeah, he’s attractive, sure, but the last time he went to one of Margo’s parties they ended up talking and laughing for, well, a long time and it was all knocking knees and shared bottles of tequila. And Quentin–

But it’s all beside the point because Margo is a good friend and Eliot is off limits and absolutely unattainable for someone at Quentin’s level. Also potentially involved with that guy Mike - who has bad hair - regardless. Just. Not anyone he should be sweating.

And ok. Eliot seems delighted - which is not a word Quentin uses with any sort of frequency - to see him and gives him a hug. A big one. Like, the kind with great arm pressure? And a shoulder sniff? Fuck, Quentin is weird. God. Why can’t he be normal?

But of course Eliot is charming and immediately they’re all in the little rented chalet with hot toddys heavy on the toddy (assuming that’s the whiskey part), and he really needs to keep himself in check.

Quentin’s only frame of reference for ski lodges or ski culture or whatever is from movies, namely romcoms, and it seems exactly right that the rented chalet is tiny and there are only a few, cosy (the rich word for cramped) rooms and he ends up sharing a room with Eliot. It’s a bunk bed because sure. And Eliot immediately claims the bottom (“I am a top in all other realms” he smirks and is that flirting or just witticism?)

Josh and Margo and Penny and Julia all immediately go to the double and triple and quintuple diamond and rhombus hills (it is all utter nonsense terminology to him and maybe this is what people feel like when he talks Fillory) but Eliot stays with him while he rents skis and insists on joining him on the bunny hill (“It’s where all of the cute instructors are. All you have to do is ask about the french fry pizza technique and Marcel, who is here for the winter from Switzerland, is buying your après aperitifs.”)

Quentin falls. A lot. But Eliot laughs and picks him up and it’s sort of okay. But cold. People like this?

They call it early because “the chalet is calling, and so is an adequately made, intensely overpriced cocktail” (Eliot, not Quentin)

Somewhere around day three, with less falls and a lot of Eliot insisting he’s ready for at least one of the lesser diamonds, he starts calling him Q.

Quentin (Q) absolutely does not blush when Eliot cheers and hugs him in a clacking frenzy of skis when he makes it down his first real hill without so much as a stumble.

They’re all very drunk and playing the Forehead Game, pieces of masking tape stuck to their heads, names written in disorderly Sharpie letters (person, fictional or real rules: no you are not real, yes you can talk, yes you are animated, fine yes, you are the Brave Little Toaster, you cheater) when Josh and Margo start making eyes and not-so-subtly tell each other that Margo is Jon Snow and Josh is Kylie Jenner so that they can “sneak off” (stumble out of the room making out with disturbing vigor) to do whatever it is they plan on doing (subtle)

And Penny and Julia decide to go on a starlight walk or some uber-saccharine romantic beautiful thing

And then it’s just. Quentin and Eliot. And a lot of wine. In front of a cracking fire in a moonlit chalet and they slump even further in their chairs by the mantle and they’re talking about something so inconsequential and great (“Ugh. Margo usually has flawless taste in friends but Back to the Future III?? No one with any decency is allowed to like that movie, Q.”)  and fuck Quentin is giggling and they’ve fallen to the floor (“How can you have not read any of the Harry Potter books?”) and if his head lolls just a fraction closer to Eliot’s wild curls, it’s because of some sort of scientific, magnetic pull or something.

He’s pretty sure that Eliot is leaning forward, or maybe somehow the wooden floors have slanted, or-or the world has moved and slid him closer to Eliot - his face in particular. And lips. His lips are like just molecules away, and–

Penny and Julia. Back. Snow dusted. Glowing. In love or some shit.

He accidentally calls him El. It just happens when they’re both at the breakfast table drinking coffee one morning. (“Of course you like it black, Coldwater. All tortured 50s existentialist.” “Just shut up and pass me the butter, El.”) And Eliot doesn’t correct him, just smirks and sips daintily at his coffee (no sugar, lots of milk) and nudges the butter at him.

Quentin really likes the way Eliot says Coldwater. He just. Does.

It’s Vermont during ski season so there’s a giant snow storm. 

Obviously.

All that snow has knocked the power out. It’s getting increasingly cold inside the cabin the longer they’re without heating, and Penny and Julia Do the Brave Thing and venture out to see if they can scrounge up a generator or something to make this less miserable. Margo and Josh beeline for their room without a word and that’s that, apparently.

His bunk is fucking freezing.

He can hear Eliot on the bunk under him turning and turning. He wonders if he’s any warmer.

“Q. For the love of all things unholy, could you please get down here and help me generate some body heat before I go full Ötzi the Iceman. Not that a millennia of future generations wouldn’t benefit from seeing my beauty preserved in icy mummification- but I’m not that altruistic. Oh. And please bring all of the blankets you have.”

Eliot’s bed is. Really small. Well, it’s the same size as the top bunk, but with two people on it, it’s notably less spacious. Eliot is big spooning (as a verb), and Quentin is small spooning (silently freaking out), but it is really helping to keep the chill off. The four blankets Princess and the Pea style stacked on top of them probably aren’t hurting either.

Somewhere in the middle of the night, the heat must have kicked back in - or Penny and Julia had succeeded in their quest - because Quentin wakes, sweating, pushing off cover after cover after cover and Eliot has somehow lost his shirt (and Quentin quickly loses his shit), but mostly he just lays back down and doesn’t go back to his own bunk.

He wakes up again because there are lips on his shoulder.

Not like, random, disembodied dream lips. But specific lips.

Eliot lips.

It’s still dark outside.

Quentin had kind of forgotten that feeling? That one low, low in your stomach when you wake up in bed with someone, someone who is against you and kissing your skin and you feel warm and dazed and blissed the hell out.

But he definitely remembers it now.

And he turns and they are for sure, absolutely, 100% full-on making out now and it’s really small in this bed.

Somehow Quentin loses his shirt, too (Eliot is good at somehow misplacing clothing)

“Just making sure you’re warm, Q.”

“Yeah. Taking off my shirt is definitely helping.”

They wake up in the morning and it’s hot and sticky and the opposite of Ötzi and Quentin says so. 

Eliot agrees and doubles down.

They decide to stay in the chalet for the day while Margo and Josh and Penny and Julia spend their last day on the slopes. They drink hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps and Quentin hates it (the schnapps), but doesn’t tell Eliot, and Eliot loves it (burrowing into the couch with no clothes, but wool socks on, next to Quentin) but doesn’t tell Quentin.

“This hasn’t been that bad.”

[abutterflyobsession]

Glad to hear your in a writing mood! More than happy to oblige a prompt request, how about a babies First Christmas in ArtSchool AU, doesn't matter which or who"s baby, what ever you feel like

“Are you guys serious.”

Dawn stood in the doorway of Marianne and Bog’s living room, an apparition of holiday cheer in a sweater decorated with peppermint candies, socks covered in Christmas trees, and a scarf and headband covered with jingle bells. She looked with distaste and disbelief at the complete absence of Christmas decorations. She looked in bewilderment at Marianne and Bog stretched out on a comforter on the floor, their six month old daughter Callie tucked between them, snoring.

“I did not order the family-sized judgment,” Marianne groaned. She pulled up a corner of the comforter and rolled herself in it, “Leave us to wallow in our barbarism. We’re sick. We’re dying. Promise me you’ll take care of Callie.”

Callie coughed.

“It’s the day before Christmas Eve!” Dawn said.

“Christmas Eve Eve,” Sunny agreed, entering the room. He was wearing a headband with two tiny Christmas trees bobbling on the end of green springs like holiday themed alien antenna, “And it’s Callie’s first Christmas!”

“Like she even knows. She’s six months old. And I’m Jewish. So she’s Jewish. We’re exempt and Hanukkah ended three days ago.” Bog patted the folds of his comforter until he found his phone and checked the time. “Love, it’s time for Callie’s meds. Whose turn is it?”

“Let’s arm wrestle. Loser gets up.”

“So it’s your turn, then.”

Marianne groaned and unrolled herself from the comforter. Dawn helped her get to her feet. “If you’re going to die then why aren’t you doing it on the couch or bed? It would be more comfortable.”

“The bed is upstairs,” Marianne picked up Callie and wrapped a blanket around both of them like a poncho, “We’ve given up on upstairs. Upstairs is dead to us. To get there we’d have to climb up stairs.”

“And the couch?” Sunny asked. He was gently patting Callie’s hair to soothe her before she took offense at being moved.

“Callie threw up on it.”

“Ah.”

Leaving the room Marianne threw over her shoulder, “Bog, If I don’t come back remember that I love you and I want a viking burial.”

“Same here, if I’m dead when you get back.”

“Give me my niece,” Sunny demanded, “You’re both unfit caretakers.”

Marianne passed Callie over and staggered into the kitchen to search the fridge for ginger ale. “Take care of her or I’ll break your kneecaps. I kind of like the kid.”

“Unfit.” Sunny repeated.

“We’re taking custody.” Dawn said firmly.

“I will cough on both of you.” Marianne rasped, wobbling over to the barstools at the kitchen counter. She sat down and laid her face on the counter. “We’re out of soda. I’m going to die.”

“You’ll like living with us, Callie,” Dawn cooed, rubbing the baby’s back before she picked up the bottle of cold medicine, “We’re got a tree and stockings and wreathes and everything. And you’ve got just enough hair that I can put little Christmas bows on you.”

“We have a tree.” Marianne said.

“Where?” Dawn and Sunny demanded.

“Here,” Bog came in, wearing the comforter like the mantel of a weary king. He held up a car air freshener shaped like a pine tree. He hung it on the fridge with a magnet.

Marianne peeled off one of her socks and stuck it next to the air freshener. “Stocking.” She fished in the pocket of her pajama pants until she found a coughdrop to put in the sock. “Candy.”

Sunny held Callie tighter and whispered to her, “We’re your parents now, sweetheart. Everything is going to be okay.”

Callie sneezed on his neck.

“Return my child,” Marianne said, reclaiming Callie. Bog spread his arms so the comforter opened up like the entrance of a tent. Marianne got under it and Bog wrapped her up. “Leave this place of death and dying. Go back to your happy world of cheer and glitter.”

“Nuh uh,” Dawn shook her head, making the jingle bells on her headband jangle, “We’re here to minister to those in need this holiday season. You’re gonna let us decorate this place in exchange for chicken soup, ginger ale, and any other last requests you would like fulfilled.”

“Clean the couch and we’ll let you paint us with candy can stripes.”

Dawn clapped her hands, “The tree is in the car! It’s a little baby one for my little baby niece!”

“Great. Have fun.” Bog picked up Marianne and Callie, all them them still wrapped in the comforter. “Bring soup. You know where to find us.”

“The Grinchs have been subdued!” Dawn crowed, “It’s Christmas in Whosville!”

“What’s this for?” Sunny dragged over a cardboard cutout of a Christmas tree away from the back door.

“We were going to paint it,” Bog said, “Back when we were among the living. And let Callie paint it.”

“Aw, you were never grinchs at all!” Dawn said happily, “You’d better do that when you get well and film it!”

“It won’t be Christmas then,” Marianne pointed out.

“Callie is six months old, I don’t think she’ll notice.”

“Just bring us soup.”