#this is.... so long asdfghjkl

[frauleinandry]

okay, so, as i mentioned before, i have a million plus arcana swap au ideas, and since i’m never going to actually write this one, why not post it into the void? (also, people will probably enjoy it since it’s shuake lmao)

so! this particular plot nugget is set in a new game plus arcana swap au... except the reset point isn’t yaldabaoth like most NG+ fics, but the maruki bad end (with some elements of the maruki failed deadline end tossed into it for maximum pain).

in the original timeline, akira cannot choose whether to stay in maruki’s reality or go. maruki’s choice makes him have a complete and utter mental breakdown, and, well, if you’ve seen the failed deadline ending for maruki’s palace, you know how this goes. maruki puts him into an enchanted sleep, erasing his presence from the world and dooming humanity in the process.

this sends akira’s spirit to the velvet room, and lavenza. is. pissed. if he’d chosen to stay in maruki’s reality, that’d be one thing, but by not choosing to act at all, he’s spit on his role as a wildcard (namely, that he should be taking responsibility for his actions and that the choices he makes should be his own). so, at great personal risk, she uses her powers to reset the timeline, in the hope that whoever’s chosen to be the new wildcard will find the strength that he lacked.

cut to the reset timeline. akira is walking home from school when he overhears shido assaulting that woman. he goes to investigate, but the second he does - blam. his memories from the original timeline return, slapping him in the face. once his shock has worn off, much to his horror, he realises shido and his victim have already driven away. no assault charge for you, akira.

by now, he’s absolutely freaking out, and after doing some frantic googling once he gets home, he realises things are very, very different. the detective prince doesn’t exist. people who were once dead are now alive, or vice versa.. also, for some fucking reason his name is now amamiya ren. 

in a full-blown panic, akira runs away from home and goes straight to tokyo. none of his friends or confidants recognises him, and to make things worse, some clearly aren’t the people he once knew anyone. to make matter worse, others are just... gone. when he goes to yogen-jaya and realises there’s no leblanc, akira has a full-blown panic attack. 

suddenly, his phone pings - it’s the metanav. perks of being a former wildcard, and all that.  when akira visits mementos though, his spirit of rebellion doesn’t manifest, and the velvet room is just... gone (he’s not the wildcard anymore, after all). it’s then that he realises that losing all his bonds isn’t the only thing that’s happened - yaldabaoth is now back. akira is extremely, extremely, cognizant of how close he came to losing that battle. now, there’s a very, very real chance that the world is going to end, all because he couldn’t make a decision.

(fun fact: akira’s new arcana in this role swap is the hermit. this boy is having a very, very bad time.)

let’s move to akechi. in this new world, he’s not the justice. his mother survived her suicide attempt or never had one in the first place. money is tight, and he still gets a lot of shit due to his family situation, but his home is loving. sure, he’s not a saint by any means - akechi is still somewhat prickly and has elaborate and violent fantasies about getting revenge on shido, but ultimately he’s a normal teen. he’s the top of his class, a member of the student council, and is already getting scouted by universities. he might even have a stepfather he begrudgingly tolerates and little siblings he loves. 

that all changes however when one night, he remembers the original timeline. normal teenager akechi -  who’s never genuinely considered murdering someone in his life - suddenly has the memories of his past life as a traumatised assassin forcibly injected into his brain. 

suffice to say, akechi absolutely freaks the fuck out. when he looks at his mother, he now sees her corpse. when he spends time with his family, he can’t help but think of the families he’s destroyed with his very own hands. whenever his underclassmen ask him for advice, he hesitates - given how monstrously he’s fucked up, what right does he have to guide anyone? 

(whenever he smells the ocean breeze, he feels sick.)

still, despite having an extremely unique type of mental breakdown, akechi is a person of action. like akira, he has the metanav on his phone, and akechi wants answers. unlike akira, he’s still got enough defiance to manifest a persona, even if robin hood has only a fraction of the power it did before. during a trip to mementos, he encounters akira. he finds out his former rival has run away from home (it’s not like his parents would miss him, after all), and is currently funding himself via a ludicrous amount of part-time jobs.

reunited, they start planning. still, while there are remnants of their old rivalry, their dynamic has fundamentally changed. akira still possesses his inherent kindness and big heart, but he’s far more jaded than the old joker ever was, and the fire that once animated him had been snuffed out. meanwhile, this timeline’s akechi is the opposite - his basic personality is still intact, but he lacks the sharp edges the original akechi did. this akechi knows what it’s like to be loved, after all (not that he feels like he deserves to, given all the blood that he’s never technically spilt that’s staining his hands). these boys are a very different shade of fucked up, and it shows. anger has been replaced with despondency and rivalry with understanding. in every world, they’re two different sides of the same coin, after all - doomed to be the ones who understand each other the best. 

back to the plot, while akira still has no persona, akechi can still fight, which means they can at least attempt to rig things in the phantom thieves’ favour. the second they try to go to the metaverse to interfere with shido/any PT target, however, the app glitches, stopping them from entering. their worst suspicions are confirmed when akechi first meets the new PTs and tries to warn them about yaldabaoth, but he finds that he suddenly can’t speak. they’re just pawns in this new game between gods, after all, and neither of them can break the rules. this is the inciting incident to the formation of akira’s palace, who believes he’s doomed to watch as his loved ones die.

akechi probably fills the high priestess role - he tries shoehorning his way into the phantom thieves and gets them all into trouble, or alternatively, gets caught up in some bad shit while attempting to investigate shido, and the PTs bail him out. who knows! this is sort of where the plot bunny ends - there’s a reason i’m never going to write it in full lmao. still, if you’ve gotten this far, i hope you enjoyed it!

[galaghiel]

this is how it went right?

[solarlantern-art]

Absolutely in love with these dumb fuckin robots

[red-moon-at-night]

An Analysis of Haruka’s MVs: Distance and Disability

Hello! I’ve recently fallen down the rabbit hole that is Milgram and I have been itching to make some completely normal and sane analysis posts. My silly alternate title for this was gonna be “Things About Haruka’s MVs That Just Make Sense: A Hyperfixation-fuelled Analysis”, because honestly my autistic brain has been having a field day over here.

I am in awe with just about every single music video in this project; the animation is incredible and each one packs so much carefully laid out information. But I have been rotating Haruka’s in my head constantly since I first watched them, and I have a lot of Thoughts. Not about whether he’s guilty or innocent/forgiven or unforgiven. Not about whether or not I can justify his murders. Just some straight up imagery and symbolism analysis, through the lens of disability.

Haruka’s disability has not been specified, but I am confident we can at least say he is neurodivergent. I feel like the cultural differences in names for several things e.g. ‘learning disability’ vs ‘learning difficulty’ will just invite unnecessary drama, and is a little pedantic. What does matter here is that Haruka's experience as a disabled person is heavily intertwined within his story and his motives. 

So, without further ado... let’s get into this!

Trigger warnings/TW: I will be discussing ableism, eugenics and harm towards disabled people. Everything else will be related to the music videos ‘Weakness’ and ‘All Knowing and All Agony’, so any triggering content within them may also be mentioned. Read at your own discretion and stay safe!

Disability: some brief (important) historical context

It is only within the last few decades that those who are disabled have been ‘seen’ for the first time. A modern society is (ideally) expected to be built to include and accommodate for disability, and to acknowledge disabled people’s existence. But for many countries (even the ones making steps outlined above) this is still not the case. For a very, very long time, globally, that has not been the case.

For most disabled people, society makes it very clear that they are a burden to it and are better off not existing. 

I’m going to make this section as succinct as possible because...it’s heavy stuff. But it’s important, and I want you all to get the gist of what I’m saying. The weight of it.

Let’s highlight a piece of history regarding IQ and eugenics, surrounding the publication and subsequent worldwide reception of ‘The Kallikak Family: A Study in the Heredity of Feeble-mindedness’ by Henry Herbert Goddard in 1913:

“In 1927, it was used as evidence in the case of Buck v. Bell, which culminated in a Supreme Court ruling that the involuntary sterilization of ‘mentally defective’ persons was not unconstitutional in the United States. By 1938, thirty-three US states had passed laws allowing for the forced sterilization of women with learning disabilities and twenty-nine had made sterilization  compulsory for people who were thought to have genetic conditions. Many European countries followed suit: Denmark in 1929, then Norway in 1934, and after that Sweden, Finland, Estonia, Iceland, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Latvia, Hungary and Turkey.”

— Limburg, J. (2021) Letters To My Weird Sisters: On Autism and Feminism, p. 126

This history of a ‘sterilization law’ includes Japan, who between 1948 and 1996 enacted the Eugenics Protection Law which “authorised the sterilization of people with intellectual disabilities, mental illnesses or hereditary disorders.” According to the government, about 25,000 were sterilized.

SO. It’s important to bring this up. To establish how much disabled people are not wanted, just from their governments. Let alone society. To this day, disabled people are hidden away from the public by families that are ashamed of their existence.

Japanese culture values collectivism, and maintaining the harmony of a group...to the extent of excluding those that don’t fit into the mould. That are different.

The question is: where do they go? The ones that are publicly rejected?

Haruka and The Curious Case of Distant Waters

Okay that’s enough of the heavy real-world stuff! Time to delve into some...*checks notes*...heavy fictional stuff. Fun!

Haruka’s MVs prominently display themes of distance and separation through the motif of water, specifically being submerged underwater. 

The name Haruka reinforces this concept as the specific kanji used (遥) translates to ‘distant’, ‘remote’ or ‘far away’. As there are many, many kanji choices for the name (including but not limited to: ocean/sea, eternity/permeance, clear/distinct/obvious, and spring/growth/cherry blossom) it feels like a particularly cruel and intentional choice to go with that one.

Through the exploration of this motif, we can see the extent in which Otherness/the state of being ‘Other’ drives Haruka to great lengths to close the distance and escape it.

What I noticed throughout both MVs (particularly AK&AA but note the beginning scene of Weakness), is that whenever Haruka looks at himself in a reflective surface (e.g. the vanity mirror, the fish tank), water either begins to rise and overwhelms him, or is already there and he appears submerged:

I think this is the “All-Knowing” part of AK&AA. He knows he’s different, and he knows there’s a huge ocean between him and his peers, his family, everyone. A disconnect when trying to listen and understand, but also when trying to be understood by others and listened to himself.

You know when you submerge your head in water, and your hearing gets all muffled and incomprehensible? And have you ever tried speaking underwater? You can’t, because if you open your mouth you’ll drown. It’ll just come out as bubbles rising to the surface.

I also think the bubbles symbolise rising tension, between what he wants and what he currently has. Bubbles are everywhere in these MVs, even in places where they shouldn’t logically be? Such as this scene, following the line “don’t wipe me out, don’t wipe me out”:

Immediately pans up to Haruka gasping for breath, droplets of water rising from...somewhere. For about a split second, and they’re gone. 

This boy is really going through it. I’m getting an ‘emerging from the ocean before I drown’ vibe from this one folks. When the line that follows this scene is “I can’t stop, I can’t stop”, what I’m REALLY hearing is “I can’t stop (killing) or I’ll drown”. This is his lifeboat, pulling him out from the depths of being neglected and hidden away, into the spotlight.

Some interesting images from Weakness in relation to that (of spotlights):

Anyways, onto the next point:

Blue to Orange: Water to...Nectar?

So, the orange liquid. It’s clearly representing blood, but I don’t think this is just a “danganronpa pink blood” situation of censoring/getting this video onto youtube without restrictions.

I think it’s most likely honey, specifically nectar.

The etymology of the word nectar shows its compounds translate to “death” and “overcoming”. Nectar is also called the drink of the gods, so it would make sense for it to be a ‘death-defeating’, immortalizing liquid.

For Haruka’s victims to contain nectar is very interesting. It reinforces that necessity to kill, to take the life of another, to sustain himself. To overcome the ‘living death’ he is experiencing by being hidden away from society. 

This is his means of escape from drowning.

However, as we all know, things don’t turn out great for him. By the end of AK&AA Haruka is rejected once again by his mother, after which the door is shut (the light with it is gone too) and we’re met with this imagery:

The nectar floods the room, engulfing him much like the water from earlier. 

There are many things we could take from this. One being that the nectar-gathering/killing-spree has clouded his vision; it’s so sweet, so sickly sweet and he’s addicted to the taste of attention, even if it’s very bad attention. 

Who else has honey imagery in their MV again?

Oh, right. 

Anyway, the nectar/honey situation could also be representing submerging into an even further level of distance. All that murder is gonna push people away, despite his motive being to close the gap between him and normal people. The 'ocean’ has lost clarity and become a maddening, delusional substance. After all, there is a type of honey literally called ‘mad honey’ known for its medicinal and hallucinogenic properties.

That’s enough about honey, though. Let’s move onto less unfortunate... oh, sorry, what was that? *checks notes*...Ah, yes. I meant to say, let’s move onto even more unfortunate symbolism:

The Necklace

So, this necklace. Haruka steals it from his mother’s belongings, and is his only material, physical connection to her. It is taken on the declaration of “making (her) love me again” and getting her attention once more, now he is no longer a child but a teenager closer to adulthood (at least, that’s what I consider the ‘shirt with a vest sweater and tie’ to represent. child him = the blue polo, teenager him = this one, adult him = an amalgamation of his teenager clothes).

I wasn’t sure if this was an opal or pearl/mother of pearl, but I’m leaning towards opal from the other depiction of it in Weakness:

Opals are fun because they can symbolise both good luck and bad luck, usually to do with whether it’s your birthstone. There’s something to be said of Haruka’s belief in his ‘misfortune’ and the superstition surrounding these gemstones.

But they are even more interesting for the powers they supposedly have; in medieval times the opal was considered the ‘patron of thieves’ for their ability to grant the wearer invisibility.

There is a deliciously sad irony to Haruka’s theft with that titbit of information.

Now, if this isn’t an opal, and it’s a pearl/mother of pearl there’s still some fun interpretation to be had! A little less sad, even. Pearls invoke strong imagery of the sea, of purity, and of a connection to the maternal. If this is the last thing he has relating to his mother, I can see this necklace representing a lifeline when he’s deep in the ocean. A reminder of why he’s doing all of this killing, and who it’s for.

His mother’s attention (or the idea of having a mother at all, any mother) is his driving force in life.

Speaking of that...

So We Really Need To Talk About That Fish Tank: AKA, Why Haruka’s Mom Wins ‘The Worst Parent of The Year’ Award

This fucking fish tank.

Okay, I’m gonna start by saying: I don’t think this is reading too far into things. When it takes an animation team months, sometimes years to create a 3-5 minute music video, and one as detailed as this...you don’t just wing it. There are storyboards, there are key frames and there are choices made down to the smallest of details.

From the sheer volume of animal/insect/fish décor that resides in the Sakurai household, you bet I’m gonna pay attention to what type of fish are in that fish tank.

For one thing, they live in saltwater. This is a marine tank, aka the harder choice of aquarium to have. I mean, way, WAY harder. For the experienced only.

These fish right here? One is a clownfish, and the other is a yellow boxfish.

Boxfish are a nightmare to keep alive. This article goes into more detail than I will, but all you need to know is: if there was ever a fish out of all the fish you could possibly want in your tank, this is the one to avoid like the plague.

They release deadly toxins when stressed, as a survival instinct. Boom. All your fish are dead. They need to eat a shit ton of food, but are notoriously clumsy swimmers and slow eaters. Boom. Starving, stressed out boxfish. Boxfish either dies from starvation or dies from stress and toxins.

For Haruka’s mom to have not just one of these fuckers, but a tank consisting ONLY OF MULTIPLE BOXFISH AND CLOWNFISH...

This is a high-maintenance tank. And it shows how much time and effort, how much care she puts into the things she loves.

How neglectful she is as a parent of a disabled child in contrast.

There’s something about the last scene between Haruka and his mother that reinforces this for me:

Haruka’s relationship with animals and himself: AKA, “why don’t I just become the damn fish tank?”

Let me backpedal a little bit. This subheading will make sense in a minute.

So, like I said earlier we have a lot of décor in this house relating to insects and fish. We also have a lot of pets. Both living and dead, taxidermized creatures in one household, proudly on display.

I think this may have created some confusion for Haruka regarding the value of animals being alive or dead, as in his perspective his mother values both equally. The fish in a tank may be full of alive creatures, but they’re still on display as if it’s artwork. Isn’t breaking the glass of a framed picture of a fish equal to breaking the glass of a tank with a ‘picture of living fish’?

(This isn’t to say Haruka is clueless to the impact of his actions, nor to justify any harm to animals. I just find the train of thought to be intriguing.)

So when considering these ‘objects’ are proud trophies of his work:

This is a carefully arranged display, which by the way, doesn’t contain a single fish. In fact the only piece of that moment visible here is the...large piece of driftwood? Okay. Keep that in mind.

We proceed into Haruka’s mother opening the door and seeing her son, for the first time in any of the MVs. Note the way they composed this shot:

I’m obsessed with this scene. The blue eye framing Haruka, with a literal fishbowl effect on him...

He is the goddamn fish in the aquarium now. His mother’s full attention is on him and him alone, with only the dead animals, the books, the lamp and the driftwood as window dressing to this wonderful display.

Doesn’t it just scream “Look at me! Look at what I did, mom!” to you?

That blue spotlight is on him once more. He is not just drifting deeper into an endless ocean, but contained in a vessel to be stared at.

One Last Observation

I didn’t know where to fit this in but I think the end feels appropriate.

His clothing here:

Is a frankenstein-esque mash up of clothes from his younger years. He wears this throughout AK&AA, and as I mentioned before it signifies him as an adult. However, I should clarify what I mean here as Haruka says “he thinks he’s 17″ and “doesn’t care about his age”. So... not an adult, but on the cusp of adulthood.

But I think he actually does care about his age, and quite a lot too.

This outfit feels symbolic of refusing to let go of the past, and of himself as a child. He’s literally grown out of his clothing, but he still clings onto it. He’s attached to the past because it not only contains his happiest moments, but the change from being loved to becoming neglected.

As a disabled person, you’re often treated with a lot more forgiveness when you’re younger. That is to say, some people don’t realise that children with disabilities grow up into adults with disabilities. There is a point where even support from medical and social services drops off like a cliff edge once you turn 18.

The ill-fitting clothing in this context becomes more than a reflection on Haruka’s feelings, and extends to reflecting society’s feelings on disabled adults ‘refusing to grow up’.

I don’t blame Haruka for holding onto his childhood like this. He’ll be even less publicly visible and seen once he is no longer a pitiful child, but a ‘weird’ adult in ill-fitting, children’s clothes.

[pepsiprophecy]

:3c

[gold-rhine]

kaeya moodboard

[squidsandthings]

Happy Holidays

Chuuya drawing for @hauntedsol <3

Outfit based on this mayoi card: https://bsdmayoi.fandom.com/wiki/0209_Nakahara_Chuuya

[alwaysinstoryland]

A little bit of nighttime Marichat for your dash today ♡

[casdeans-pie]

Be kind to the hard working baristas/hospitality/customer service workers this festive season we are very busy and we are doing our best and people are so mean

[theloverofdragons]

Happy Mogloween 🎃

a bit more intricate than the previous dragonfable pumpkin but i’m quite happy with how the shadowscythe pumpkin turned out 😊

[madisans-oregano]

Y’ALL-

I HAVE ACQUIRED THE ATTICUS PLUSHIE‼️‼️‼️

So, my high school band has a secret Santa every year, and the person who got me just so happened to be a friend of mine that knew about my IT hyperfixation. AND I got them into watching it as well >:D

[bloomingmitsuri]

I CANT BELIEVE IT HE CAME HOME IN MY FIRST 10 PULL THANK GOODNESS 😭😭😭

(Don't worry, Lilia. I'll catch up to the story for you. It's just ignihdye chapter 67 held me up for like a year ASDFGHJKL bc I was bad at having actual strong teams. BUT IM WISER NOW. I BUILD TEAMS NOT JUST BASED ON THE AESTHETIC OF THE CARDS)

[beyondthegame]

goddhshs that cy drabble sighhhhh i had to ask - how do the ros kiss? 🫣

Oo, kisses! I didn’t realise they’d end up being this detailed:

I mentioned briefly what Cypress’s make out sessions are like -> here. Their kissing starts off as hesitant, as if they don’t trust themselves to do the action justice. Then they’ll gradually become more confident and their kisses are a lot more intense, and the change is evident because when Cy’s more confident with their kisses it just feels like there’s so much more purpose to them. Like when you’ve been touch starved for so long and you’ve received the most electrifying and pleasurable touch from someone you adore—a nervous but pleasurable, breathless kind of feeling.

I like to think that E’s written a song/a verse in one about what it’s like kissing them. E usually thinks about kissing someone they like long before it’s actually happened: they’re very studious when it comes to their lover’s features, in their head E’s thinking ‘I love this, this and this about you’. And then it’s their hands on the back of your neck, splayed fingers, E tilting your chin up and whispering, “I really, really want to kiss you” whilst leaning closer after every word. All their kisses are strong but delicate; when you pull away E’s teeth are gently tugging your bottom lip and pulling you back for more.

L’s kisses are intense all the way through, from start to finish, like they have something to prove. They pretty much start off with smiles and quick pecks, and then their eyes start shimmering and it reminds L of how much they enjoy physical touch with someone they like. When they’re kissing their hands and fingers start to roam and they rest on your waist, hips, back, thighs etc. And then their kisses move from your lips, to jaw, to neck and back up. Open mouthed kisses, the gentle coming together of teeth, the quiet audible moans that escape the two of you that L can’t help but smile at. Definitely kisses to leave you tingling and breathless in the best way.

I’m positive Milan’s saved their best kisses for romanced best friend!mc. Their kisses pretty much match their happy, optimistic personality. At the start they’re pretty shy because in the crushing stage they’ve imagined what it’s like to kiss their best friend…and then it happening makes their brain go fuzzy in the best way. It’s like Milan’s thumb tracing the outline of your lips and savouring every touch like it’s their last. And their kisses replicate that, like when you’re in a dream and you’re praying it doesn’t end any time soon so you can continue to enjoy everything it has to offer. And then the two of you are smiling against the other’s lips, so much so that the other has to say “god, stop smiling, I’m trying to kiss you”. The best way to describe Milan’s kisses is dreamy.

N’s kisses are a bit of a whirlwind because they end up changing drastically. They’re kissing the person that they’re hated for years, the same person they’ve had this long rivalry with so…yeah, a whole load of emotions. Kissing in the crushing stage for N is them literally begging themselves to think of anything other than kissing. To not think about how hate can turn into something pleasurable, so kisses with N are their jaw clenched, your back against the wall, N’s eyes closed as they’re leaning in closer before they whisper “we don’t need to do this…tell me to stop and I happily will.” (<- lies, they wouldn’t happily because they’re craving a kiss at this point but they can’t admit that to themselves). In a relationship their greeting kind of kisses are ones on the temple and cheek. Their make out kisses start soft at the base of the neck, and N works their way up whilst whispering sweet nothings in between every peck. By the time they get to your lips, their forehead is touching yours and they’re smiling because they can finally let themselves feel.

[localravenclaw]

EXCUSE YOU!

how dare you look this good are you trying to kill me?!?

[mar64ds]

working on a fun new video, still writing the script but i have the thumbnail ready