#this isn’t even everything there is to say either | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thelightsandtheroses · 1 day

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everywhere, everything | jm x female reader [au]

Summary: In recent months, the bar your family has owned for generations has changed. Now it can't keep a bouncer beyond one shift, attracts the 'wrong' crowd, and is an albatross around you and your cousin's neck. Your cousin's latest hire, Joel Miller, seems like he might just survive the shift and as time passes, you can't help but want to know him more. AKA the Bouncer!Joel fic Word Count: 8.2k Warnings: 18+ MDNI, mentions of canon typical violence, RoadHouseBouncer!Joel AU, no outbreak, no specified age but reader has a cousin and inferred (not detailed) family deaths in the past, flirting, smut (p in v, and fingering), Joel Miller is his chaotic self, mentions of death of a child (canon), many scenes set in a bar and mentions of alcohol or drinking, your standard lolabee flangst and introspection, reader mentions music, singing and playing guitar. Notes: So much love for this fic goes to @trulybetty for encouraging my ideas and @rhoorl. Watching the new Road House movie at the same time as starting TLOU games created this concept in my head I couldn't let go of. Fic title from the Noah Kahan song of the same name.

It’s starting to weigh on you.

You see it in your cousin more though; the weariness in her eyes as the local gangs come in and inevitably cause trouble. Both of you know where it comes from, the reasons behind it, why it’s so much worse for your roadhouse than anywhere else in the town.

Most days, you want to leave and sell up. Sometimes a fight is too much, it isn’t worth the cost, there’s too high a loss, too tiresome a battle. Everything your cousin possesses is tied up in the bar though. It’s not that simple for her and you won’t walk away from your family. You can’t.

The two of you cannot be the ones who let decades of your family’s legacy just wash away to nothing.

That was why your cousin had started with the bouncers in the first place. The two of you can only afford one, but it’s a small building, a small town.

“This one will be different,” your cousin says with a firm nod and smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “I just know he will. He’s new in town, he starts tonight and he - when you meet him, you’ll see what I mean.”

You don’t say that she said the same thing about the last bouncer - what was his name? Dave, or Frankie, or something like that. You’ve stopped learning their names now - it’s pointless when they never last longer than a few days.

The bar is still quiet; tinny music coming through the speakers as you finish unloading the clean glasses from the dishwasher.

“Are you playin’ tonight?” she asks.

“Might do. If the crowd let me,” you say, smiling at your cousin gently. It’s a joke now; the bar hasn’t been safe enough in months for that.

It used to be your favourite thing about this place; the music, the ability to perform songs and transport yourself to what could have been, what could be. It might not be Nashville, or the Sofi stadium, but it’s the closest you think you’ll ever get to feeling like a real musician. And now you don’t even have that.

“Good, they will. It’s going to be a good one tonight, you’ll see.”

The new bouncer is called Joel but your cousin calls him by his surname: Miller.

He’s quiet, not like the other one. Instead of stalking around and flexing, Miller sits in the corner of the bar, perched on a stool and staring into a cup of coffee as though it would answer all his queries about the universe.

You feel bad about the coffee; you should have warned him that it’s truly awful, pointed him in the direction of the small diner ten minutes away that serves some of the best coffee in the whole state. You think your own coffee isn’t too bad either; perfected and tweaked over years to figure out the perfect combination of beans and grind to bring the best out of your worn moka pot.

“Next time, I’d go for water,” you say lightly as you approach his side of the bar. It’s still quiet for this time of the evening but the trouble doesn’t usually start until after ten anyway.

“Oh, yeah?”

“I’m not sure we can even legally call this coffee. I think there’s more caffeine in the Kahlua.”

“You have Kahlua?” Miller asks.

“It’s a very old bottle, I really wouldn’t risk it.” You try and remember the last time someone ordered a drink with it here but it’s hazy. The Bar doesn’t exactly attract people for its cocktail list anymore.

“Pity.”

“I can get you a water if you’d prefer. Or something else?”

“It’s fine.” You notice Miller has pushed the cup slightly away from him though. He eyes it with mild disgust and you feel suddenly even more worried for him. If he can’t handle the coffee, he surely won’t be able to handle the patrons.

“You’re Joe, right?”

“Joel,” he corrects instantly.

“Joel, right. Sorry.”

“Are there that many of us passin’ through, that you don’t learn the names properly now? Is that why your boss calling me Miller?” He doesn’t know who you are, that’s clear. He doesn’t know it’s your family’s legacy here too and you’re not just a bartender. This place matters to you.

“It’s only your first shift.”

Joel sighs and meets your gaze. His eyes are deep brown and you take in the slight salt and pepper to his stubble, the surprisingly comfortable looking plaid flannel he’s wearing. At the same time, you notice the stoniness in his posture, the wariness in his eyes.

He isn’t spoiling for a fight because he lives for them, not like the other bouncers your cousin has hired.

You’ve already realised that Joel Miller fights in an entirely differently way to his predecessors. You can tell his biggest battles aren’t the ones in a bar like this. Without projecting too much, you think they’re probably inside his mind. No one has haunted eyes like that without a story. You’re a bartender, you can just tell.

“What have you have been told about this gig? Do you know what you’re getting into?”

“I know this place has some troubles,” he says carefully.

“I’ll say.”

You remember when things were different in the town, in the bar. It wasn’t like this back then. It used to be for families. Your aunt once joked that your dad’s cooking could bring the entire town together. It’s been a long time since the place was known for a family meal though.

You grew up with laughter and joy inside these walls. Now, it feels like it must have happened somewhere else entirely. This bar is still where you ran in after being asked on your first date ever, where you opened your SAT results, studied while the bar was closed, had every family significant gathering or event you can remember.

This isn’t just a job for you.

“How long have you been here? No offence, but you don’t seem the type -”

“It’s my family’s bar. Your boss you mentioned, she’s my cousin. The two of us run it these days, well I mean, I only help out. It’s her bar now more than mine but it’s been our family’s place for generations. We’re what’s left.” All that’s left.

“I didn’t know. I wasn’t - I didn’t mean anything by that.”

“Of course, Miller.” His words weren’t meant with offence but he had still managed to pick at your vulnerability that you don’t truly belong and cut at your soul.

Your family never thought you’d keep up with the bar, your cousin was the clear front runner to inherit it and you supported that. You wanted to leave your hometown, that had never been a secret and your childhood bedroom had been covered in posters and postcards for exciting and different places.

Once, you dreamt of Nashville, of music venues and guitar calloused hands playing idle melodies as a tour bus drove you to your next city across a starlit sky.

Life had different plans for you thought.

“This town didn’t used to be like this,” you add, “We’ve had a lot of bad luck and - the whole town is suffering. You wouldn’t have recognised this place if you passed through even just a few years ago.”

”I’m -“

The door to the bar crashes open before Joel can finish his sentence. You notice the first of the regular troublemakers walking in and warily look around the bar. You can tell by their posture, the look on their face exactly what type of night it’s going to be.

“Looks like your work will be getting started soon, Miller. I’d drink up.”

He might just survive his first shift. That’s annoying - you have five bucks counting on him either walking out or be stretchered out like any of the bouncers by the end of the night.

You try and pay attention to your surroundings. It’s sensible in your line of work. For so many people that line between a good night and becoming the worst version of themselves is wafer thin and you’re often the first line of defence, you’re the one who has to say when someone’s not being served anymore.

Your cousin is in the back office, trying to sort out the multitude of paperwork that comes with owning a bar or business that nobody ever thinks about.

He’s calm, polite even for the most part.

He doesn’t escalate the situation, not like some of the bouncers who have spent a shift here recently. Mostly he sits and observes. His calmness is almost disconcerting and contrasts sharply with the danger in his posture, the readiness to move he’s concealing.

There hasn’t been too much trouble so far tonight; a mild fight which was easily taken outside but you can feel the tension in the air.

“Can I get ‘nother whiskey?” Robert slurs. He’s a regular to the bar now and has a particular penchant for not being able to handle his alcohol, being very resentful at being cut off, and worse of all never has enough money to cover his bill or damages.

“I think you’re done for tonight,” you say lightly.

“Nah, I say when I’m done.”

“Not according to the liquor licence,” you snark back.

“Look, just pour me -”

“You’re done.”

“You’re such a fucking bitch.” Robert slams his fist down on the bar.

“I think it’s time to go,” Joel says politely, suddenly standing next to Robert in the bar. You’re not sure if he’ll last as a bouncer here but you’ll give him points for stealthiness. You hadn’t even heard him approaching.

“I think -“ Robert starts before pulling a sloppy punch. Joel easily dodges it, raising his eyebrow incredulously at Robert.

“C’mon, now, it’s time to go.”

He places a hand on Robert’s shoulder and guides him out. You’re struck that he didn’t escalate the situation - that was the last bouncer’s mistake. What he hadn’t counted on was what Robert is a mean drunk and often gets a second wind of energy.

Joel walks back up to you at the bar. “The way people talk about this place. That wasn’t so -“

“That, Miller, that was nothing.”

You watch as another troublemaker, Owen, walks in, all biker vest and swagger. It’s never a good night when he’s here. Usually his presence signals a full moon style night of fights, shouting and misery. He hasn’t been in for weeks to your joy; you’d heard a rumour he was in jail. Not any more though.

“Miller you see now the trouble’s really going to start. That wasn’t even your warmup.”

Sunlight streams through the window as you finish wiping over the table. It’s your favourite time of day in the bar. Your cousin is catching up on admin, sleep and supplier deliveries, the bar is empty and it’s just you, the stereo and sunlight.

You can’t help but lose yourself in the music just for a moment. You love this song, the beat, the lyrics, the way it ebbs and flows in all the right places. Music is magic.

You’re not in a rundown bar, not weighed down by obligation and memories and self-doubt. You’re not here, you’re somewhere else. In a city, in a crowd, on a stage or even just dancing around somewhere else. You’re lighter and freer and desperate for the song to continue just a little more as you spin around, humming along with the lyrics.

You hear the door open and turn around quickly. You heard about the diner getting robbed a couple of weeks ago. You should have locked the door.

Miller’s there, some light discolouration to his jaw from the one punch he didn’t dodge, but otherwise intact.

“You seem surprised to see me,” he says.

“You’ve cost me five bucks,” you reply simply.

He raises an eyebrow, “Didn’t think I could hack it*?*”

“The odds are the odds.”

“Well, I’m sorry about your money.”

“Yep, that five bucks was my ticket out of this town,” you joke.

“Not sure that would even cover a bus ticket,” he replies dryly.

“Maybe the coffee for on the bus?”

“Maybe.”

“So, day two,” you say awkwardly, swinging your arms around you and then immediately wondering why on earth you did that. You busy yourself by turning down the speakers.

“Yep,” Miller says casually, sitting on a bar stool.

“Have - are you hungry?” you ask, suddenly conscious that it’s lunchtime and Joel not doubt has another difficult day ahead.

“I could eat.”

”It’s nothing fancy, because the kitchen’s not open, but it is homemade - well, it was. I froze it but it’s defrosted and it’s really good. Also, frozen food still retains its nutrients well, and in the case of cake, freezing it makes it even better.”

“I see.” Miller pauses, “It’s not cake, is it? I don’t think I can eat frozen cake before a shift. ”

“No,” you argue, “it’s Tuesday, that’s what we’d do on a Wednesday! Today it’s lasagne.”

Miller smiles then. It’s a good smile. Slightly crooked and his eyes crease a little, the way you always associate someone smiling when they mean it. His deep eyes are momentarily lighter, there’s a change in him.

You want to tease more smiles out of this man, want to identify each and every changed in his face or the way his hands tap against the old bar. You want to keep him like this, bask in the glow that you’ve bought that expression to his face.

“Lasagne sounds great,” he says after a moment.

“Sure, okay, Miller. Coming right up.”

“Call me Joel. Please.”

“Okay, Joel.”

You like how his name sounds against your teeth, the way he smiles once more when you say his name.

It becomes a habit. Joel survives shift after shift and inevitably turns up to the bar early the following day when you’re there.

He’s lasted longer than fourteen bouncers now. He might just make it. He’s quiet, yes, but you’ve seen the violence in his movements when needed, the way he tries to be polite and then it’s over, then it’s a line. There’s something that compels and terrifies you about the violence he holds, its contradiction because he speaks to you so softly and how can a man be capable of both?

“You need a second bouncer,” he says one morning as you’re trying and failing to sort the back door out.

The employee room in the bar is a barely functioning space. Cliche after cliche with the cheap red IKEA futon, mismatching furniture and chairs and elderly microwave and kettle. The air conditioning has never worked in the room and now the back door is jammed too.

The place is falling apart.

“Can’t afford it,” you reply nonchalantly. “We’re doing our best.”

“I know. But then someone could try and watch at the door, stop some of these people coming in.”

“I know. But no one’s coming in because they’re there so we can’t afford a bouncer. It’s uh, a catch 22. Can’t even afford to replace the damn -” You shove your weight against the door to no avail.

“I can fix that,” Joel says softly as you kick the door one more time.

“The gangs? That’s ambitious.”

“The door.”

“Oh, it’s just the weather and it always gets stuck now. Replacing it would cost-”

“I can fix it. I uh, used to be a contractor.”

“A contractor?” Joel hasn’t talked about his past much before. You know he has a brother, he’s the oldest and that he’s from Texas. Joel carries that

“Did you have to say that with the air of a cowboy in an old movie?”

“I wasn’t aware I did,” he replies, cocking his eyebrow in a way.

“What sort of contractor were you?”

“Building, just the general type.”

“Oh, okay. So you could actually fix the door?”

“I said so, didn’t I?”

“How do you get from contractor to bouncer?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’d expect so.”

Joel squirms awkwardly. You’ve watched him easily apprehend aggressive gang members shouting the vilest things to Joel and move them outside. You’ve seen him barely blink over ill drunks spilling their souls on his shoes. You’ve seen him so strong and resolute.

He looks at his watch which, for the first time, you notice is broken and then at the ground.

“It’s fine, Joel,” you say, “you don’t need to tell me anymore.”

He keeps coming back, night after night and things start to change. It’s small, a fixed door and then a window catch replaced, the fact the gangs start coming around less. It’s change but the quiet type of change you only discover through previously entrenched routines.

You’ve spent time cataloguing his details, each scar or line, the way he takes his coffee (black, but a two to one ratio of sugar that makes you wince a little). Joel Miller has a sweet tooth.

You’re used to Joel now, you like talking to him in quiet moments in the bar, before or after shifts as he hangs around just a little longer. You tell him about the town, about how it was growing up, he lets it slip he’s from Texas, mentions a brother, Tommy, and you want to unpeel his secrets more and more.

You proudly place the slab of cake in front of him. Rain hammers against the windows and roof, creating great echoes as it sounds like the bar will come down around you. It’s unseasonal, the rain, an omen of quiet days. Today you don’t mind.

“What’s the occasion?” Joel asks, looking at the cake curiously.

“It’s a Wednesday.” You take a bite of your own slice, savouring the flavours, the delicate balance of sponge and icing. If you can say so, it’s a pretty great cake. You really have improved over recent months and while this was experimental, you’re happy with the result.

“Ah. Say no more.”

“Also, congrats, you’ve officially been here for eight and half weeks.”

“I pass probation then?” Joel looks around dubiously, clearly concerned your cousin or others will suddenly pop out in some surprise party or sense of occasion.

“Pretty much passed that by coming back on day two, but that’s my cousin’s domain. I just pour drinks.”

“And provide frozen food to the bouncers.”

“Only the ones who come back. Besides, it’s defrosted. I can take that cake back you know.”

“No, don’t you dare.” Joel takes a large forkful of the cake. “So why the cake though, sweetheart?”

“You, Joel Miller, are officially our longest standing bouncer.” You clap lightly in mock celebration as he cocks an eyebrow in response.

“What an honour,” he replies sardonically.

”You’re welcome.”

“Do I need to make a speech?”

“I think it was the speech that bought the previous record holder down.” Clint had lasted forty-five minutes after that speech. It was a bad night - a particularly nasty gang fight.

“Hubris,” Joel says lightly.

“Exactly.”

“Not bad for a contractor turned bouncer though.”

Joel laughs. “You going to tell me that story one day?” you ask, hoping your teasing expression hides how genuine your question is.

“Maybe,” he says. “You’ve not hit my records yet.”

“That a challenge?”

He shrugs and walks towards the door to ready the bar for opening.

You hand Joel the frozen peas wrapped in an old cloth. After the commotion, your cousin’s closed the bar early. It’s hard to recover the night from a scene like that and you’re pretty sure the broken table and glass amount to some sort of safety violation at the least.

“Thanks,” Joel says gruffly.

“You could have a concussion.”

“I'm fine.”

“You’re bleeding.”

Joel looks at his cracked knuckles and raises a finger to the cut on his head, lightly touching it and observing the blood that comes away on his hand. “’m fine.”

“You hit the bar.”

“Standard night on the job.”

“You hit it with your head.”

Joel shrugs, nonchalance and mischief at once.

“How’s the idiot?” Owen had come in with the intention of causing trouble; something about the rival gang, or his girlfriend, or something that would never justify his trail of destruction. Joel had maintained his usual rules; polite, carefully moving Owen outside the bar, even as he tried to fight back. You’re not sure how it went so wrong, how instead of getting Owen outside suddenly there were more of the gang, broken tables and chaos.

It’s been weeks since a night like that. It makes it feel brand new, the hurt starker somehow.

“He needs to go to hospital,” you say, wrapping your jacket around you after you lock the bar door, keys heavy in your hand.

“Oh.”

“He’ll be fine. His friends are taking him. You probably need the hospital too, I’ll drive you.”

“’m fine.”

“You’re not. Get in the damn car, Joel.”

“I’m -”

“The car, Joel. Don’t make me start calling you Miller again.”

Joel holds his hands up and shakes his head. “Fine, I’ll go.”

“Excellent,” you say with a sweet smile.

You drive in near silence but once you’re both in the hospital waiting room, he talks. He talks more than he ever usually does.

“I didn't need to come here,” he grumbles.

“Are you on the lam?”

“What?” He asks incredulously.

“You seem reluctant to be in a hospital that takes down personal information. It’s a reasonable question.”

He sighs, pinches between his eyebrows. “No, I’m not on the damn lam. I just - I just don’t like hospitals.”

“I don’t think a lot of people do. I guess it’s an occupational habit with your work.”

“I patch myself up usually. Last time I was in one of these places, it was … I was …”

“Joel, it’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” You reach for his bloody hand and squeeze, unsure if the blood on it is from his own split knuckles or the fight. The violence of his body contrasts so much with the man you talk to, the friend you’ve made.

“When I told you it was a long story, how I went from a contractor to this … it’s, I don’t know.”

You shift so you can face Joel and try and model your best supportive expression. Joel and you talk about everything now, but he’s guarded and this is the first time he’s volunteered this story to you.

“We can talk about it later.”

“I had a daughter,” he says so quietly that you can barely hear him. “And then I had a chance, a second chance to - but it’s been a mess. I’ve been a mess. I’ve got a lot wrong.”

So much of Joel Miller makes sense to you know and you can understand the sadness that crosses his eyes sometimes, the reluctance to talk about his past.

“Haven’t we all?” You pause. “I’m really sorry about your daughter, Joel.“

“I don’t know how to make it right now though.”

“I think,” you say gently, “all you can do is try. For what it’s worth, you’re making a difference here, you’re making a difference with me.”

“Really?” He glances up at you, suddenly years younger and as you nod a slight smile light up his face briefly.

“Why don’t you tell me about her? If you want to.”

He smiles. “I do, but not tonight, but I will.”

“Joel Miller,” a doctor calls.

“C’mon, you’re up.” You squeeze Joel’s arm before standing up.

The balance has shifted and something’s changed.

The bar changes gradually like the way spring teases itself for weeks. It’s all subtle shifts, blossoms of hope and shoots of a future you didn’t dare think of too much. The bar might survive, your cousin is smiling again.

And then there’s you and Joel. Joel, who still pops in to talk to you even on his days off. Joel, who you sit out with after the bar closes and drink beer and play guitar to the stars.

“You should play here,” he says, taking a sip of his beer, “you’re good.” “You’re better. I can’t play guitar like you.” “Nah. Just had more practice at best. Your voice is pretty, so pretty.” “Oh, I’m not so good at playing. I’m better at singing,” you say. “Four basic chords are about my limit on the guitar.” “Don’t do yourself down.” “Trust me, I’m not.” You pause. ”Joel, you could - you could play with me. If I ever played here. it’s probably stupid.” There’s something unreadable in his eyes, a soft smile on his lips. “No, I’d like that.”

You’re accustomed to his presence, his low but grounding voice, his calm demeanour throughout all chaos.

He’s told you more about his past now. About Sarah and how her loss tore him apart for years, and also about the foster daughter he took in, Ellie. He won’t tell you much about Ellie though, except they stopped talking around about the time he became a bouncer. He once asked you if you would do anything to save the life of someone you love and you said yes. He nodded and moved on. You think it’s connected, you’re not sure.

You’ve worked at a bar long enough to know when it’ll be a bad night. There’s an electricity in the air, a tension that is so tight anything could snap it. You look over at Joel to see if he’s picked up on the same energy.

He’s sitting on the stool, observing quietly, but you notice the slight furrow in his brows. He looks at you and his mouth twitches into the smallest of smiles, but there’s anxiety in his eyes.

“I heard that Owen’s gang declared war on the Rattlers,” you say in a low voice. You don’t like Owen, or his friends, but the Rattlers are worst. Owen’s gang is the typical cliched grouping of a small town that’s become lost. They drink too much, throw punches without thinking and cause trouble. They’re not evil though.

The Rattlers are.

“Didn’t hear the Rattlers came through here,” Joel says in a low voice. “I heard of their reputation at a previous gig.”

“Their uh, second in command, is that the term? Anyway, he’s had a thing with someone in town for years. On and off. Guess it’s on again.”

“They cause trouble when they’re here?”

You scoff. “This was starting to feel like -”

“It still is, it still will. Let me do my job,” Joel says firmly.

You want to trust him; you do trust him. It’s the Rattlers that worry you, the feeling in your gut that this hard sought over peace is threatened, the deep and terrifying fear that this bar can never change. Not now. Not even with Joel.

Joel smiles at you, the picture of reassurance. “Owen might not come in here. This is hardly a welcome environment for his group anymore.”

“Joel,” you say nervously, “I just … I have a feeling.”

Joel doesn’t laugh or dismiss you; he straightens up and nods.

You’re not sure how things fall apart so quickly. One moment the bar was quiet, then Owen was there and before Joel could get him to leave, the Rattlers were here too. Maybe it was planned, maybe it was what they all wanted.

“Evening, unfortunately I need to ask you all to leave tonight,” Joel says politely, standing from his barstool. “I’m afraid the business is at capacity and we have a private function on.”

“Well,” Owen begins.

“Leave.”

“Look, Miller, it’s not -”

“I’m not asking, Owen.” Joel’s voice is low, deadly, the tone he uses when polite words fall flat, when it’s time to not be nice. “That goes to all of you.”

Owen falters slightly at the sound of that, you wonder if he remembers how things went the last time Joel used that voice.

“Y’all got a function on?” one of the Rattlers asks you. He’s covered in tattoos and is wearing a leather vest with numerous patches with no other top underneath. You wonder if he based his outfit on the existing tropes, if he’s intentionally as cliched as possible or if it truly is just an unspoken truth now. His hair is slicked back into a ponytail that highlights his receding hairline and a puckered scar that runs from his brow to his nose.

“I’m afraid so, gentlemen. While we, uh appreciate the desire to visit, I’m afraid Mr Miller is correct.“”

“Really?”

“Uh huh. It doesn’t look so-”

“Please,” you say quietly.

For a moment you wonder if it will work, you’re on bated breath as the Rattler steps back and moves to say something to his gang. However, that’s the very moment Owen smashes a chair on his back and hell breaks loose.

“Oh, thank you so fucking much for that,” Joel says in an irritated voice, immediately pulled into action to try and get the situation outside, away from the patrons, from you.

You step backwards, hoping the protection of the bar will be enough.

People are running out of the bar as the chaos unfolds. It’s a flood of sound,

Someone pushes Owen onto the bar, pummelling him as you try and back away. “Please stop,” you say.

Then a flash and searing heat.

That’s when you hear Joel swear, you notice his eyes have darkened, his entire demeanour has changed.

Your vision is blurred by something and you can feel a sharp pain on your face along with something sticky and hot when you touch it.

You shut your eyes, willing the events away and allowing yourself to crouch under the bar and wait for the noises to stop.

It’s fine. It’s fine.

You’re fine.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay,” a soothing voice says. “Ladies and gentlemen, I apologise but we do have to close early today.”

There’s a pause, noise around you and then something cool on your face. “I need to see the damage, okay? It’s me, it’s Joel, you’re going to be okay. I’ve got you.”

You open your eyes to see Joel crouched in front of you. He’s holding a damp cloth that is already soaked in red.

“You’ll need stitches, I’ll drive you.” Joel moves your head gently and nods. “Your eye looks okay; can you see normally?”

“Yeah. What happened?”

”Fucking - it was Owen, he grabbed a glass from the bar and instead of hitting the rattler - ”

“Got me.”

“Yeah. It’s deep but um ‘”

“I’ll live. I’m okay. Don’t need hospital.”

“Huh, you trying to prove a point here? How annoyin’ it is when someone who needs hospital won’t go?”

”It’s fine, Joel.”

“You’re hurt,” he says and he looks disappointed.

You feel a burst of shame, you should have defended yourself better.

“I’m going to call your cousin and tell her what happened and then I’m driving you to hospital. No arguments, okay?”

You try and smile weakly in acquiescence which seems to only make Joel frown more.

His hand lingers on your shoulder slightly as he hands you the seatbelt after bundling you into his truck. He moved quickly, closing the bar, making a hushed call in the corner to your cousin and then immediately guiding you out, a clean cloth placed in your hands to hold against your cut.

There’s a nodding dog ornament on the dash, something that doesn’t seem like Joel at all.

“Ellie,” he says quietly as he notices you looking at it. “Keep the pressure on that wound, okay?”

He turns out of the bar.

“Didn’t seem your sort of ornament,” you reply placidly.

“She called it Ernie, I - that kid.” Joel sighs heavily.

“You could call her,” you say, braver in the wake of your injury.

“I would. But she doesn’t want to hear from me, trust me.” He mumbles something else you can’t make out.

“You’re a good person, Joel. She -”

“I’m not.”

“You are,” you say, “trust me, I know bad men, but you aren’t one of them. Owen? The Rattlers?”

“The bar’s pretty damn low there.”

“You know the town I live in.”

Joel chuckles mirthlessly.

“I was going to play tonight,” you say quietly, “I thought it was time. That’ll teach me.”

“You could still play, maybe tomorrow though.”

“It would be harder with the blood right now.”

“Just a tad.”

“Thanks for driving me.”

“Of course.”

You wonder if he’s trying to return a favour, whether he’s the sort of person who just can’t feel indebted to someone else. Now you’ve bled on his car too, now you’re even?

He looked worried though. You think about the way he sounded too, the forced calmness when he checked on you.

You’re friends.

That’s normal, right?

“I’m sorry,” he says suddenly. “You shouldn’t have got hurt.”

“Joel, it’s … you can’t be everywhere at once. It’s not on you.”

“I should have -”

“Miller,” you say sharply, “it’s not on you. Not one bit. Do you think I can bar Owen for good now?”

Joel chuckles. “Yeah, I reckon so.

“Good, well that’s something, isn’t it? Almost makes it worth it. Do you think it will scar?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart.”

You pause. It’s vanity, you know, but the idea of this leaving a permanent scar on your face hurts worse than the injury itself.

“That’s not ideal. I-it’s stupid.” It feels so foolish to be worried about a scar when things could be so much worse, for your own vanity to say ‘well, now, you’ll never make it as a musician or star’ or to focus on your looks. It’s normal, it’s human, but it makes you feel guilty.

Joel looks at you carefully and he places a warm, solid hand on your hand that is not holding a compress to your face. “You’re so beautiful, you know that, right?” he says in a low voice. “This won’t change that. It couldn’t, okay?”

No-one calls you beautiful. There’s been half-hearted claims of your ‘hotness’ with exes, of your friends’ encouragement when you make a particular effort in your appearance, but nothing like this. Nothing that feels this sincere either.

He takes his hand away as the doctor joins you. You can feel the heat lingering like butterflies as the doctor attends to your wound.

Joel stays with you the whole time.

You hear the guitar before you can see him. Soft, melodic chords that reach a crescendo as you walk closer to the small cabin style house he’s renting. You’re not sure if it’s a complete betrayal of the trust from when you dropped him off after his hospital trip weeks ago, but you need to see him outside of the bar.

“Hey,” he says in surprise when he sees you. He places the guitar carefully down before standing up to greet you.

“I’m sorry to just turn up, I hope it’s okay.” You awkwardly clasp your hands and wring them together. “I was passing through and I thought - I thought I’d say hi.”

This is a complete lie; you are not passing through at all.

You’re wearing your favourite outfit and you sprayed an extra two spritzes of your best perfume on this morning. In fact, you have made considerable effort when you think about all of this.

“No, it’s great. I’m happy you stopped by.”

“You’re good. The guitar, it was … really good. I’ve not heard you play that before.”

“Oh, it’s just something I’ve been working on.”

“It’s really good.”

“Nah, not really.”

You frown, hands on your hips and he raises his own hands in defence.

“Can I - do you want a drink?” Joel indicates inside the cabin and you nod enthusiastically.

“That would be great, thanks Joel.”

There are three cabins in the area that a local businessman rents out. Joel’s cabin is the closest to the woods, the one that’s slightly hidden away. Inside it looks like a typical rental; the slightly shabby furniture and neutral demeanour that feels void of any character, the aged kitchen stove and units, an abundance of wood furniture.

There are touches of Joel too though. There’s a vinyl player and box of records on the coffee table, a plaid blanket over the sofa and a couple of photos on the fireplace mantle. You think they might be Sarah, maybe Ellie, but you don’t want to pry.

This changes things. It’s not the bar, neither of you are at work, or hanging out outside after a shift. This feels more personal, more intimate. This is Joel Miller, the real Joel, the one you can’t hide your feelings for now.

You do have feelings for Joel.

It’s funny, when he started you wanted to keep him at a distance because you expected him to leave like everyone else, you thought the bar was beyond help. You wondered if you were beyond your dreams. He’s helping bring you back though.

It’s his calm demeanour, the wry expressions and dry humour, his plaid shirts and the way when he smiles, which is rare but you’ve seen it, his whole face softens and lightens up. It’s electric.

You think about him all the time; reading articles you try and remember to bring up at the bar, when you hear a song he’d like. Joel’s found his way into your life and you don’t want to let him go.

He’ll leave though. The bouncers inevitably do, most people in your life do. You just don’t want that with him. You want him to stay.

“Are you okay?” Joel asks.

“Why?”

“You have that serious thought face on.”

“I have a serious thought face?”

Joel scoffs. “So, what’s up?”

“I just - I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here.”

Joel frowns then. “Why not?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, c’mon I said I’d get you a drink, right?” Joel indicates the sturdy wooden table and you sit obligingly. “So I’ve got a choice of tea, well It says it’s tea anyway. Uh, some whiskey, beer, water …. I’m out of coffee.”

“That should be illegal.”

“Shouldn’t it?”

“I might just leave now.”

“Wouldn’t blame ya.”

He’s close to you now and you feel emboldened by the fact you’re here, you’re with him and he’s not pushing you away or looking like he wants to leave. Maybe, just maybe this is a great idea.

“Now I think about it though, I’m not sure that I’m thirsty after all,” you say boldly.

“Oh no?” He leans in closer, hands hovering just over your waist. “Look, you don’t want -”

“I do. I do want.”

Joel swallows. “Really?” He’s looking at you as though you’re something mythical, something intangible he could lose at any second. There’s reverence in his eyes and it’s overwhelming and beautiful at once.

You nod. “I’m not the only one here who - I’m not though, right?” There’s a hint of nervousness in your voice now, a sense that perhaps this isn’t the great idea you thought it was just seconds ago. It’s like whiplash. This is why you should just focus on music instead.

“No,” Joel says softly, “you’re not.”

His hands, hands you’ve seen both acts of violence and hold your injured face so gently, skim your body. Joel’s hands, like him, are contradictions. He steps minutely closer, a little more into your space and oh so welcome.

He smells like soap and coffee, with the faint hints of autumn you noticed around the cabin and there’s something magic in this Joel Miller. Something in every sense of him, the way he touches you, the sound of his voice, the feel of his skin and sound of his voice that instantly draws you closer, that makes heat pool in your stomach.

He kisses you and you reach for his hands, entwines them together. He stops, concern mounting over his face. “You’re injured, I should have -”

“Doesn’t hurt,” you say softly, drawing him close again.

You’re a mess of hands and lips, a clash of sensations and finally, finally this is happening you think as h guides you further into the cabin. Towards his bedroom.

He guides you past the kitchenette, down the narrow corridor to his room.

You want to drink him in, absorb every detail of his body and commit it to memory.

There’s a ragged scar on his abdomen, a light scattering of stories across his body from other bars, other jobs, other Joels.

There are other details you want to remember though, especially the look in his eyes right now, heavy with desire.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says. You’ve heard the words before in similar settings but it’s been clear to you it’s the lust, it’s the ‘right’ thing to say. You know when isn’t meant, the lack sincerity signalling a paint by the numbers dalliance at best.

Joel’s voice is fervent though. Honest. He means this.

The majority of your clothes are soon discarded, both yours and his in a combined mess on the floor.

Your hands are running through his hair as he guides you onto the bed, as his fingers hover over the edge of your underwear.

He pauses, just for a moment. You wonder if it’s recognition of the line you’re both about to cross, if it’s to give you the space to confirm that yes, you still want him, to offer an out just in case.

You reach for his face, run your hand down his stubbly cheek. You’re trying to sum up your thoughts, to bring everything you want to say together into a neat sentence.

You smile and gently say, “I want you, want this. I thought you knew.”

“I didn’t, I didn’t think you’d want me. Been driving myself crazy thinkin’ about you lately.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t you show me what you thought about?” you ask.

He smiles as his fingers finally reach beneath your underwear, carefully pulling them down and then gently gliding his finger.

You’re wet, almost embarrassingly so, you think, for just making out.

“This all for me?” He asks with a devilishly teasing tone.

You don’t immediately answer, just smirk as he teases up to your clit and traces circles around it, smiling as you finally make a groan of contentment.

He slides a finger inside you, lazily moving it within you, finding that spot that makes you moan, adding another finger.

You feel close already, but he withdraws his fingers and then, looking at you, brings them to his mouth one at a time in a move that makes your cheeks heat up.

He moves to his bedside drawer, fumbling for a box of condoms you suppose. You’re still lost in catching your breath, in replaying the last few moments, in anticipating what’s about to happen.

He kisses you before positioning himself and you ready yourself for him.

You’re entwined, adjusting yourself for the feel of him, the weight of him. Hands interlocked with his as he finally moves, as he meets your kiss once again.

He adapts quickly, noticing micro=movements or sounds and changing his rhythm to draw every one of them out, to bring you to the edge once more.

You’re both a mess of rushed breaths, a chorus of names and gasps, ebbing and flowing to tease each other apart.

He’s everything and nothing like you expected. Hoped for even.

The feeling builds in your stomach, the rush of pleasure building almost unbearably.

Finally, finally you get your release. The ripples of pleasure ride through your body as the two of you lie together, boneless, catching your breath.

You usually feel a need to say something, to fill a silence, but it’s comfortable. You roll over, daringly placing an arm over Joel’s chest and leaning close. He pulls you towards you, kissing your brow lazily

You can feel his heartbeat, the warmth of his skin.

You feel like you could stay here forever.

Instead though, you’re practical. You excuse yourself to his bathroom to clean up.

You take in your reflection; the telltale signs of your exploits feel so visible to you as you freshen up.

He’s not in bed when you return. You pull your clothes on and head back into the main room of the cabin.

Joel’s wearing his jeans and not much else, humming as he concentrates on something by the stove.

“I promised tea, didn’t I?”

“We did get sidetracked.”

“Well, that was welcome,” Joel says. His voice is so much softer than you’ve heard it in the bar. There’s a vulnerability leaking through with each moment you stay here. It’s two sided, you can feel your own edges softening, a desire to open yourself even more to the man in front of you.

“I agree.”

The kettle boils and you watch Joel making the tea, try and not lose yourself in the broadness of his shoulders.

“So …” you break off, swinging your arms nervously and then wrapping them around yourself.

Joel hands you a steaming mug. “So,” he says. His voice is calm though, relaxed and somehow that helps.

“That wasn’t exactly ”

“Would you have been wearing a trench coat?”

“That a fantasy or something, Joel?”

He laughs. “Maybe, maybe it is.”

“Okay then. Logging that for another day.”

“Oh really?” Joel’s smile warms his entire face, it softens each feature and it’s something you never want to stop seeing.

It feels like you’ve known him so much longer. You feel comfortable in his house, you feel comfortable around him.

“So we’re opening back up at the weekend,” you say, “Got any plans for this time off?”

“Nope. You?”

You shake your head. “How about that?”

“Hmm, that’s not right. We should do something about that. Let me take you to dinner?”

“Dinner?“

“People still do that, right?”

“Yes, but - I’d love to.”

“Great. I’ll uh, defer to your recommendation, seeing as you know this area more.” It hits you then. Joel doesn’t have roots here and the bar, except for the Rattlers, has improved. What does this town, what do you have to offer?

“Are you going to leave?” you ask suddenly, the anxious thought you’ve tried to suppress bubbling to the surface.

“Leave?”

“When the bar’s open, when there’s no trouble.”

“There’s always some trouble.”

“Don’t. You know what I mean.”

Joel sighs and takes a sip of his drink. “Usually, I would.”

“But this isn’t usual?”

He points his hand at you and adds, “I don’t make a habit of this. I don’t …. Usually, yes I go in and out of places and I don’t stay long.”

Your heart sinks. “I understand,” you lie.

“I think, I think maybe there are some reasons to stick around here though?” It’s a question, not a confirmation. It strikes you then that maybe Joel feels just as exposed as you do.

“I think there could be,” you say.

“Good. I’m glad.“

The bar looks like the Rattlers never came through here. Everything is neat, clean and in its place. There are no broken chairs or tables. It seems almost impossible for how short a time ago it was.

Joel helped, you realise, he helped your cousin bring this place back.

“Are you okay?” she asks, “I can cover the bar if you need -”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re sure.”

You pause and run your hand over the smooth, clean bar surface. You think of Joel, of the conversations over so many nights about music, about what makes you happy. “Can you still cover the bar for a bit?”

“Sure.” Your cousin pauses and hesitantly puts down the crate of soda bottles. “Is everything -”

“I want to play tonight.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, I’ve got to stop waiting right for the right moment, right? Just do it,” you say.

“And this has nothing to do with a certain bouncer?”

“No,” you say, thinking of the scar on your face, the battles you’ve won and will win in the future. “It’s for me.”

You can feel his eyes on you. It doesn’t make you feel nervous or under a spotlight though as you carefully sit on the stool.

It’s almost as though it’s just the two of you. Another night after work under the stars and messing around with a guitar. Or outside his cabin, thick flannel wrapped around you as you both play.

The bar feels safer somehow. It’s funny considering the recent Rattlers attack. Maybe that’s why - they came in and they tried to wreck the place, you were caught in that crossfire, but you survived. The bar survived. And the locals are back, the locals you wanted back. If you shut your eyes, it almost feels like before when your family ran the place.

It’s different though, because it’s your cousins. Because even though it might not be on paper, it’s yours too. Your legacy. You don’t want to fight it anymore. You don’t want to feel cynical about this town.

You look at Joel and smile and then you start playing.

Everything Pedro tag-list: @harriedandharassed@pedrostories@hiroikegawa @pedrosaidsheispunk @pastelnap

#joel miller x reader #no outbreak!joel miller #no outbreak au #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #the last of us #tlou fic #the last of us fic #the last of us smut #joel miller smut #joel tlou #joel the last of us

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beskarandblasters · 3 days

Text

Get Your Head in the Game

Basketball Player!Abby x Cheerleader!Reader

Ways to help Palestine

Main Masterlist | Abby Anderson Masterlist

Author’s note: Thank you to @proxima-writes for this idea 🥰

Summary: Abby gets flustered by her girlfriend’s short cheerleading skirt during a basketball game.

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: reader is able-bodied, no outbreak AU, college AU, established relationship, descriptions of the basketball game/cheerleading may be inaccurate/vague I am but a simpleton, locker room sex, fingering & oral sex (reader receiving), pet names, no use of y/n

It’s your girlfriend Abby’s first basketball game of the season at the University of Washington, her second year on the team as an all-star player. She’s one of the best on the entire team. But tonight you’re not just showing up as her supportive girlfriend. You’re showing up as the newest member of the cheerleading squad.

It’s been a little tough keeping this secret from her. Luckily most of her practices lined up with yours. But on the off times they didn’t you had to make up some little white lie, like telling her you had a study group or a makeup exam when in reality you were going to cheer practice. It killed you to lie to her but tonight everything will finally make sense. And she won’t be mad.

At least you hope so.

The arena is packed. Everyone is hyped up for the first game of the season. You’re nervous for your first time cheering with an audience on top of being nervous about Abby’s reaction. It’s also your first time wearing your cheer uniform in front of anyone– a tank top, white sneakers, and a very short skirt– shorter than Abby’s ever seen on you.

You’re on the sidelines, letting your other teammates take the front until the basketball team comes out. They’re playing the University of Oregon tonight and across the court is their cheerleading squad, a smaller group since they’re the visiting team.

And then everything happens in a blur, from the home team entering to the toss to decide who is the offensive team to the first quarter. So far you’ve managed to stay in the back of the squad, your knees feeling like jelly underneath you. Abby being the dedicated player that she is hasn’t looked over at the cheerleaders at all. But it’s the second quarter now and your teammate, Megan, elbows you in the side, urging you to get to the front of the formation.

“Come on! She needs to see that you’re here.”

You sigh, dread swirling in your stomach. But she’s right.

“Fine…” you say, inching to the front. The second quarter starts and Abby looks over at the squad as you claim your spot in the center. Her eyes just about pop out of her head and her jaw falls to the floor. You look away and feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. But when you look at her again she’s still staring at you with the same dumbfounded expression on her face. Her cheeks are flushed and her hands ball up into fists and release at her sides. Oh God, you hope she’s not mad at you… But even if she is, Abby’s hot when she’s mad.

But she’s not paying attention to the game either. Her eyes trail up and down your form, stopping at the hem of your skirt. It isn’t until her coach shouts, “Anderson! Get your head in the game!” does she finally snaps out of her trance.

She plays her best game, at least as best as she can with the distraction you just threw at her. Her coach had to yell at her a handful of times and she almost got benched. She never actually would, though. She’s so good of a player that they can’t afford to bench her for a quarter or two.

The game ends with a win from Washington State but just barely. And once the excitement finally dies down and the crowds of people start to disperse, Abby marches right over to you, standing in front of you with folded arms. Her biceps are glistening with a layer of sweat, swelled from the energy she just exerted in the game.

Megan and your other teammates vacate the sidelines, leaving you two be. But not before she calls over her shoulder, “See you at the next game!”

Abby’s brow furrows and her jaw goes slack as she looks you up and down.

“What? You don’t like it?” you ask innocently, gesturing to your uniform.

“How long?”

“Since the beginning of the season.”

“Why? Why did you lie to me?”

“I didn’t mean to lie… I just wanted to surprise you!” you say, smoothing down your skirt with one hand and shaking your pom pom with the other.

“Yeah… you surprised me alright,” she says, shifting her weight between both feet before taking a step closer to you and saying, “Did you see what your little stunt pulled? Almost cost me the entire game, pretty girl.”

“I’d say it’s worth it,” you respond, cocking your head to the side.

“Oh yeah?” she says, scoffing and raising her eyebrows.

“Mhm… What are you gonna do about it?”

“You’ll see,” she says, grabbing your hand and leading you out of the court. She’s practically dragging you, holding onto your hand so tight as she brings you all the way to the visitor’s locker room.

“Can we be in here?” you ask, looking around as she shuts the door behind you.

“They’re long gone by now, baby,” she says, turning and grabbing you by your shoulders.

You meet her gaze and await the inevitable; your punishment.

“Lie down on the bench for me, okay?” she says. You nod and she lets your shoulders go but not before she grabs your skirt and says, “But this stays on.”

“Yes, Abby,” you respond, walking over to the bench and lying down. You spread your legs across either side of the bench, feet planted on the floor. She stands by your side, towering over you.

“Now, pretty girl… I’m not mad at you for joining the cheerleading squad.”

“You’re not?”

“No, baby. I would never get mad at you for that. But I am mad at you for something else…”

“…What?”

“That you didn’t let me see you in your cute, slutty little uniform before the game.”

“Oh,” you say, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“And for that, you deserve a punishment.”

A shiver of anticipation runs down your spine as Abby sits at the foot of the bench, hand running up and down your inner thigh. Her fingertips ghost the edge of your underwear and you assume she’s just going to pull the fabric to the side and tease you. You assumed incorrectly.

With both hands she grabs your underwear and rips it in half, pulling tugging them off you, and tossing them on the floor.

“Now that those are out of the way…” she says, taking her pointer and middle fingers to her mouth. She places them in her mouth, getting her fingers nice and slick to play with you.

“You don’t get to cum until I say so,” she informs you, running her fingers up and down your entrance.

“Okay,” you say with a shaky breath.

Slowly she pushes her fingers inside you, curling them ever so slowly against your walls.

“Doing good, baby?” she asks, looking down at you with a lopsided smirk.

“Mhm,” you breathe out, back arching off of the bench.

“Mmm you’re not getting close already, are you? Because you have a while until you’re allowed to cum.”

“...No,” you whine, lowering yourself back onto the bench and doing your best to regain composure.

“Patience,” she coos, pressing her fingers against your g-spot.

You take a deep breath followed by another shiver down your spine. Your cheeks are hot and your skin is set aflame by her painstakingly slow pace. But it’ll be worth it in the end.

The tension builds in your core as you stare up at the white fluorescent lights in the locker room. Abby leans forward to make sure you’re looking at her, the same smirk still gracing her lips.

“What’s wrong, baby? Are you getting close?”

“Mmm yes,” you whine.

“I bet you’re trying so hard to hold on, right?” she teases.

“Fuck… yes,” you admit, doing your best to keep your orgasm at bay, but it’s getting hard.

“You’re doing so good, baby.”

“Yeah??”

“Mhm… Cum on my fingers, pretty girl,” she softly commands, pushing harder against your g-spot.

With her permission you finally cum, walls clenching and releasing her fingers erratically. She doesn’t stop as you ride out your high, her fingers expertly making a come here motion.

“Good girl,” she praises once she feels your orgasm slow to a halt.

You close your eyes and catch your breath. And that’s when you feel her remove her hand from you. She leans forward and brings her face by your pussy, hiking up your skirt.

“You got so wet for me…” she says, her warm breath tickling you gently, “Creamed all over my fingers, baby.”

Another shiver down your spine. You’re far from over for the evening, though. She licks one long slow stripe up your cunt, stopping at your clit and flicking her tongue around it. Her strong arms wrap around your thighs, hooking you to her as she pulls you into her face. You prop yourself up on your elbows and look down at her, her eyes never leaving yours. She hums into you, marveling at your taste before her mouth latches onto your clit. The tension builds in your core again and you know you’re on the brink of orgasm. But you have to wait for her permission.

Your mouth falls open into a soft O, slack jaw, and pleading eyes.

“Can I cum?”

She shakes her head softly, mouth still sucking your clit. A whimper escapes your lips and you look up at the ceiling again, watching the stars swirl in your vision against the overhead lights.

She pulls away for a moment and says, “Eyes on me, baby.”

You snap your head back down at her as she replaces her mouth on your clit. But this time she adds her fingers again and you know you won’t be able to hold on much longer.

“Abby, please I can’t take it anymore,” you whine.

She looks at you as if she’s contemplating whether or not you deserve to finally cum before humming into you and nodding yes. With the combination of fingers pushing against your g-spot and her mouth expertly sucking your clit you cum hard. Tears well up in your eyes and threaten to spill over as your whole body trembles. Waves of pleasure course through your body as she keeps fingering you and licking you through your release.

When you’re done she pulls away, her chin glistening with your spend. She swipes it away with her fingers and places them in her mouth, moaning at the taste.

“Good job, baby,” she praises, offering her hand to help you sit upright.

You pant and catch your breath, leaning against her shoulder as you sit side by side.

“Come on, baby. Let’s get back to my dorm. I’m not done with you yet.”

She helps you up and snakes an arm around your waist, leading you out of the arena and across campus.

“So you’re not mad at me?” you ask once the cool nighttime air hits you.

“No, baby. I just wish you would’ve let me get a little preview before the game.”

“You know I’d wear this for you whenever you wanted,” you reassure her.

“Good because you’re not taking this off for a long time,” she chuckles, sliding her hand down your back and slapping your ass playfully.

And with that, the two of you head to her dorm, satisfied with knowing that she’s not mad at you and that the night is far from over.

End note: I’ve had this sitting in my drafts since February and I’m finally sharing it with y’all now 😭

Fic notifs: @beskarandblastersfics

Support/MDNI banners: @saradika-graphics

Basketball divider credit unknown :/

#abby anderson fanfiction #abby anderson smut #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson #abby the last of us #abby anderson x f!reader #abby anderson x female reader #the last of us fanfiction #tlou

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kenntolog · 1 day

Text

𝝑𝝔 an: not me posting this after saying that i was unmotivated to write— i still feel that way but i feel so sad for satoru that i just had to do something with it yk? very very angsty something.

“remember when we were young?”

you let out a scoff, shaking your head slowly, “we’re still young.”

“…”

“do you… do you not feel young?” you look at satoru with a confused look, eyes scanning over his soft yet somber expression. his gaze is directed forward, watching his beloved students rest on the grass, some laying down while the others sat peacefully.

sighing a little, satoru then looks down, “do you?”

you open your mouth, determined to answer his question, but find yourself quickly shutting it, the absence of any thoughts and arguments in your mind to support your upcoming statement making you even more confused.

his hand suddenly lands on top of your head, eyes staring you down knowingly, “exactly.”

“well, i certainly don’t feel that old, but i don’t feel young either.” you say after spending some time trying to formulate a coherent sentence. satoru hums in response, gently nudging you to sit down on the bench behind you both.

his legs sprawls before him, unable to properly and comfortably bend, which makes a little smile tug on your lips momentarily before it dissolves into a pondering frown.

“i don’t think i’ve ever felt young, y’know?” you look at your feet, your training weapon resting by their side, and feel satoru’s hand on your head once again, softly guiding it to rest on his shoulder. the barely audible clicking of his glasses tells you that he took them off, an action very typical for when he is giving you his full attention.

his quiet hum urges you to continue, “with the clan always preparing for the worst and all, i just never felt at ease. they never let me, which is kinda sad.”

he sighs sorrowfully in response to your statement, uncharacteristically quiet yet somehow so familiar and warm. maybe it’s his big palm on your shoulder, the comforting smell of his cologne and the feeling of his lips on your hairline, you can’t exactly tell. it feels right, though, so you try not to think about it too much.

you both watch yuuji laughing at something, so hard he’s holding his belly while nobara glares at him from above angrily and megumi just looks back and forth between them with the smallest of smiles.

“what about you, satoru?”

another heavy exhale escapes him, “i sure have.”

but it was taken away from me.

the ending, it’s silent and you don’t expect him to say those words out loud. you nuzzle your face into the soft fabric of his uniform jacket, brows pinching, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as you try to contain the sudden wave of emotions passing through you.

satoru certainly feels that, his hand rubbing up and down your arm comfortingly as looks down at you, longing gaze searching for yours.

“aw, got you all emotional, didn’t i, eh?” he smiles down at you softly, his free hand tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. the real reason why you’re crying isn’t far from what he said, just the forced playfulness of his tone is making everything a little worse because he forces it for you, to make you feel better. “oh my sweetheart~”

“sorry— i just—”

“you don’t have to say anything. i get it.”

the sadness washes over you once again at his declaration and you swallow down yet another sob.

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lemonlover1110 · 2 days

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𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

Toji Fushiguro & Satoru Gojo

[Chapter 2] Second Family

← Previous Chapter - Story Masterlist

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader x Satoru Gojo

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Whenever you look at Satoru, you wonder how you didn’t immediately approach him. What even consumed you to approach Toji first. Satoru is not only handsome, but nearly perfect in every other way. He’s charismatic, hilarious, hardworking, considerate, the list goes on. Satoru has many attributes that Toji lacks, which makes you glad that Toji ended up rejecting you.

Maybe Satoru seemed off limits, too perfect for you to successfully ask out. Luckily for you, Satoru had his eye on you. Life ends up working out either way, and you couldn’t be happier. Even if he’s too busy to pay much attention to you, he’ll make sure to make you feel like the most special woman in the world. Of course you aren’t a perfect couple, but you’re sure that you nearly are.

“Hey, why did you stop–” You protest when Satoru pauses the movie, but you quickly realize that he’s taking a call. You purse your lips together as he stands up from the couch and walks away to properly take the call. Work is cutting into your alone time, and it irritates you.

Satoru is ambitious, you’ve known about it since the beginning. He’s willing to put his career above anything and everything so you shouldn’t find yourself upset that he’s interrupting your movie to take a call. At least the movie isn’t an important event and you can wait a couple of minutes.

You begin to check your phone, trying to entertain yourself before you decide to turn the movie back on without him. You know that you’re waiting ten minutes maximum before going back to the movie. You understand that he needs to work, but that doesn’t mean you’ll wait for him forever. You play a game to entertain yourself, during which you get an incoming call.

You furrow your brows, realizing that it’s Toji who calls you. This never happens, so you can’t help but assume that something happened. You don’t waste a second before picking up the phone and bringing it to your ear, “Is everything okay?”

“I can’t reach Gojo so–” He begins, and he realizes he doesn’t need to explain himself. You’re also friends. “Tsumiki’s mom got into an accident and she’s in the hospital– I’ll tell you later, can I just drop Megumi off at your place?”

“Yeah, we’ll take care of him.” You answer, and that’s all it takes for Toji to hang up the call. Your heart aches for Tsumiki since she’s the sweetest child you have yet to meet, but you can only hope for the best. You’re not sure if Megumi is going to spend the night, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

You walk to the guest room and prepare it just in case the eight-year-old stays the night. You want him to be as comfortable as he can possibly be, even though you know Megumi loves to spend time at your place. You pay a lot of attention to him… You can only guess it’s limited at home. You can’t really blame Toji though, he’s busy.

“Why are you here?” Satoru asks, coming in a few minutes after. His call ended, he’s ready to jump back into the movie. Yet, you’re here for some reason, organizing the room when you’re not expecting any visitors.

“Toji called, he needs us to watch Megumi.” You inform him, making him raise his eyebrows. It’s not rare for Toji to ask, but he wonders what the issue is this time.

“What happened now?” Satoru sounds more annoyed than anything. You don’t pay attention to it, Satoru enjoys Megumi’s presence but you know that he’s tired. If anything, you can tell him that you’ll handle it.

“Tsumiki’s mom got into an accident.” You answer, and Satoru’s annoyance fades away quickly. It isn’t something that’s just convenient for Toji, he has an emergency to tend to. You walk over to Satoru, kissing his cheek, “Behave. No play fighting with Megumi.”

“Oh, c’mon. What’s the point of having the kid here anyway?” Satoru immediately says which earns a chuckle from you. He had different plans for the night, but he guesses those will have to wait. He pecks your lips before saying, “Let me make something for him.”

“You’re going to be the best dad.” You comment as he walks to the kitchen to begin making a special meal for Megumi. Satoru might act annoyed at first, but he truly does view Megumi as his nephew. Satoru chuckles, and you go back to the room to finish setting it up.

“Hi Toji.” You try to greet the man with a smile, and this is one of the few times where he can’t return it. He’s stressed, too stressed to give you a smile. You notice that he has a backpack strap on his shoulder, proving you right, Megumi is staying the night. You notice the mini version of him beside him, and you wave at him, “Hi Megumi.”

“Hi bibi.” Megumi waves at you, and you immediately know that he’s unaware of the situation. You smile at the affectionate nickname that he’s picked for you, even if you’ve heard it for years, you’re glad that he loves you enough to think of you as his aunt.

“Alright, behave. Don’t want a call from your bibi saying you’re causing trouble.” Toji says as he hands you the backpack. You can’t help but ruffle Megumi’s hair as you laugh. Megumi ignores his dad, walking into the apartment, having no issue leaving him behind. Toji clears his throat before asking you, “How are you?”

“I should be the one asking you that.” You respond, and Toji simply sighs. He shakes his head, his way of telling you that he doesn’t want to talk about his feelings right now.

“I should get going. Tell Satoru I’m in a rush.” Toji says, and you nod in response. He immediately turns to leave before you can properly say your goodbyes. You poke your head out of the apartment and yell,

“Bye, Toji! Good luck!”

“Is he gone that fast?” Satoru asks just when he finally gets to the door. You nod in response, shutting the door and walking inside to go to Megumi. His backpack is on the couch, and Megumi looks through it to find the toy that he brought along with him. “I made something for you to eat, Megumi.”

“Thanks, Gojo.” Megumi answers, which makes Satoru roll his eyes. Why do you get to be called bibi while Satoru is just plain old Gojo? Satoru isn’t going to take it to heart, he guesses that you’re sweeter with Megumi, and you tend to do more stuff together.

“How about you wash your hands while I set the table, Gumi?” You offer, and Megumi isn’t all that hungry right now. You know he hasn’t eaten dinner yet, he’s probably going to delay it so he can play with his toy.

“Not hungry yet.” Megumi answers, and you look at the time. It isn’t too late, but you know it’s almost time for bed– In your home at least, Toji doesn’t exactly give the child a bedtime.

“I made your favorite.” Satoru points out, and there’s a certain sparkle that appears in Megumi’s eyes. That suddenly sparks his hunger, and he goes running to the table to patiently wait for his meal. You can’t help but laugh as you walk to the kitchen to prepare his plate, while Satoru goes to the table to join Megumi. “How’s school for you, pipsqueak?”

“What did you just call me?” Megumi frowns, and Satoru smirks. Maybe this is the reason why plain old Gojo is never going to be uncle Gojo. Satoru doesn’t care all that much anyway, at least that’s what he tells himself. Before they can begin their bickering, you put Megumi’s plate right in front of him.

“I hope you enjoy it, Megumi.” You smile, and he doesn’t waste a second before indulging in his food. You leave the two of them to bicker while you take Megumi’s backpack and set it down in the guest room. The two tend to squabble like siblings, but you know they love each other. Every time you spend time with Megumi, Satoru tells you that he can’t wait to become a father.

“Bibi, Gojo is being mean to me!” You hear Megumi yell, and you chuckle before walking back to them. You cross your arms and stare at your fiancé, which makes Satoru pout like a child.

“Satoru, leave Megumi alone.” You warn him, and Satoru puffs out a breath before leaving the table. He sometimes acts like Megumi’s age, and it amuses you but you can’t start laughing in the middle of their petty arguments, you’re supposed to be the adult. You proceed to take a seat with Megumi, watching him finish his delicious meal. “Is it good, Megumi?”

“Don’t tell Gojo.” Megumi is quick to answer, which lets you know that he does enjoy his meal. When he finishes, he proceeds to take his plate to the sink, where you tell him that he can go back to the living room since you got the dishes.

“Babe, do you wanna play a board game?!” Satoru yells as you begin to clean up the kitchen. Before you can even answer, you hear Megumi’s voice.

“I’m not playing with you, you’re a cheater!” Megumi points out, not forgetting that the last time they played something, Satoru had a few cards up his sleeve. Literally. Satoru laughs because the question wasn’t even for Megumi. However, Megumi knows that if you do something, he’ll end up getting involved and he’d rather not

“How about we watch a movie after I’m done with this?” You suggest, and Satoru isn’t all that happy with the suggestion, but Megumi seems to like it. Megumi is your guest, therefore he gets priority.

“Can we finish the one we were watching?” Satoru asks, and your eyes widen. He knows that you’re about to reprimand him for even suggesting that since the movie isn’t exactly for Megumi’s eyes, so he proceeds to make himself clear, “I was joking, by the way!”

“Why?” Curiosity fills Megumi’s eyes, and Satoru bites his tongue. Maybe he shouldn’t have joked around. Satoru ruffles his hair and decides to ignore the question, searching for the perfect family-friendly movie for the night.

After a successful movie that kept everyone engaged, you told Megumi to get ready for bed. He protested and whined that his father does not give him a bedtime, he should be able to stay up. You have to tell him, “No, here we have different rules.”

“That isn’t fair.” He argues, and you shake your head disapprovingly before tucking him into the bed. It’s not fair in his eyes, but you aren’t going to have a running child in your place until whatever time Megumi goes to sleep. Tomorrow is Saturday and you don’t have all that many plans but you’re exhausted from today.

“Maybe next time you have a sleepover, we can do something more.” You tell him, kissing the top of his head and walking out of the bedroom. You make sure to turn off the light before closing the door, leaving behind a pouty Megumi. You walk to your bedroom, where Satoru scrolls to his phone but quickly puts it down when he notices you.

“Did he put up a fight?” Satoru asks, and you hum in response. Satoru was supposed to be in charge of putting Megumi to bed, but he managed to sway out of it. It’s fine in the end because you succeeded.

“I’m mad at you, though. You should’ve handled him– It was your turn! I put him to bed last time.” You say, and Satoru chuckles. He guesses you’re right, but he’ll find a way to get out of that one task. Satoru proceeds to pat the empty space next to him, telling you,

“Come here and let me love you.” Which makes you roll your eyes. You still give in though, walking over and laying down beside him. Satoru doesn’t waste a second before throwing his arm over you and filling your face with kisses.

“You better not be like this with our kids, you’re gonna have to put up with them or I’ll–” You begin, but you have no idea what kind of threat you’ll make. You bite your tongue, thinking of what to say next.

“Or you’ll…?” Satoru sounds teasing, and you roll your eyes again.

“You know what– Let’s cancel our plans for tomorrow, I want to stay in and–” You begin but you’re cut off by the sound of the doorbell. You furrow your brows, wondering who it is at this time of night.

Satoru doesn’t want you to open the door, scared it might be a lunatic since who comes around at this time of night? He grabs a robe since he lacks proper clothes, and walks out of your bedroom. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that it’s Toji through the peephole. He opens the door for Toji, a frown on his face, “You bastard, scared us half to death.”

“Why?” Toji responds, not seeing how odd it is to just randomly ring the doorbell in the middle of the night, with no prior call or text. Satoru sighs, and Toji decides to not waste any more time, “Tsumiki is staying with an aunt for tonight, her mom is staying in the hospital for the night.”

“Oh, was it that bad?” Satoru asks, and Toji just shrugs. He doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, he’s tired and wants to go home. “Okay, I get it. Just tell me tomorrow. What did you need?”

“Toji!” You exclaim, interrupting the conversation that they had. You heard his voice and almost ran out of bed. Toji is definitely less stressed now, so he can definitely smile when he hears your voice– Just this time, he can’t. He couldn’t smile when he saw Satoru, it’d be weird for him to look overjoyed at the sight of you. “How are you? Is everything okay?”

“He doesn’t want to talk about it.” Satoru informs you before Toji can answer. Toji was going to tell you, but he decides it’s best if he delays it till tomorrow.

“Why are you here? I thought you’d go straight home to sleep.” You can’t help but ask.

“Picking up Megumi. Don’t want to–” He’s quickly cut off by you.

“Nonsense! I got the kid to fall asleep, he’ll be staying here.” You say and he chuckles. Fair point, he did pack an overnight bag for him, but for some reason Toji doesn’t want to be lonely tonight. You see that saddened look in his eye, and you bite down your lip. “How about you stay here tonight too? Megumi doesn’t take up the whole bed.”

“Yeah, you’re clearly tired. Just sleep here, I’ll give you something to wear.” Satoru agrees. A moment of silence ensues as Toji thinks about whether it’s a smart decision to stay here for the night. He can’t slip up, plus he’s tired. Getting too tired to drive. He nods.

“Yay! Satoru get him some pajamas, let me get him some food.” You’re quick to speak up, and Satoru doesn’t waste a second before following your orders; you’re mad at him, he wants to get in your good graces again.

“I don’t need food. I’m not hungry.” Toji claims which is followed by his stomach growling. You hold back a laugh, as you walk to the kitchen.

“C’mon, I know you haven’t had dinner yet.” You tell him, and Toji takes a deep breath. You’ve grown to know him well, and it’s unsettling for him. All this for him to care about you more, when he knows he can’t have you.

Toji pushes his thoughts back before following you into the kitchen.

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morganski-19 · 2 days

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Chills Right to the Marrow Part 10

part 1, prev part

The next day, the Chief is back looking like a man on a mission. Catching Wayne’s eye while he’s on his way in, but interrupted when the Harrington kid steps in his path. Talking to him in hushed whispers, but tense as hell.

The chief sighs, cocking his head to the side and bringing the kid to talk outside. Wayne isn’t the person to eavesdrop, but after yesterday, after the endless questions with no answers, he is desperate for an explanation.

An explanation why his kid is stuck on a hospital bed while Steve is walking around like he has every right to. Like he isn’t part of the reason his boy was halfway to dead for the past week.

What made his boy protect a person that he seemed to hate? A person who’s had everything handed to him, never had to experience real hardships. Stood on the sidelines while his boy was mocked and taunted. Ostracized for being who he was. Molded into this villain.

Kings look down on villains, seeing them as threats to their status. Their reputation. And the Harrington’s are part of the rulers of this town. Funding the high school extracurriculars, the hospital, the candidates on the ballots. Money that, in the grand scheme of reality, Wayne couldn’t give a shit where it goes.

Until it comes between him, his kid, and their lives. Eddie could’ve died, and for what? So the rich can keep being that? So they can keep coming out on top.

Wayne understands why Eddie would throw himself into danger for Dustin. Hell, he probably would have done the same thing. But Steve Harrington. Wayne’s not so sure that’s the path he would choose.

Taking the last cigarette from the pack, Wayne positions himself near the corner of the hospital. Hearing the Chief and Harrington talking right around the bend. Taking a long drag, he tilts his ear up to listen.

Living in a trailer park made everyone a secret gossip. Wayne just never thought he was going to do it like this.

“What about Owens?” Steve’s not so hushed voice carries around the corner. “He seems to be the one to fix all your problems.”

Wayne can hear the annoyance in the Chief’s voice. “Either still in hiding or avoiding my calls. I’ve had to go through his partner for all of this.”

“We need to fix this, Hop, and fast. Eddie can’t be pinned for this shit.”

“I know.” The Chief takes a deep breath. “But the town needs a fall guy. I can’t take the cuffs off just yet.”

Steve hisses a breath. “He’s been getting better. Doesn’t have the ventilator anymore, could wake up any day now. He doesn’t deserve to wake up thinking the town still hates him for something he was a victim of.”

“Kid, I know but I can’t-.”

Steve cuts him off. “I saw how effected his was by all this, Hop. I saw how upset he was thinking the town thought he could do that to her. To all of them. All of them willing to pick up their pitchforks to hunt the freak. He was terrified.”

Wayne feels the anger start to simmer up again. Hearing this kid put words in his boy’s mouth. Saying that he knows everything.

Maybe he does. Maybe Wayne’s blowing this all out of proportion. But he can’t help it. He’s tired, his hope is running dry. One wrong move and he’ll snap. Harrington’s just an easy target.

“I hear you,” the Chief’s voice raises. “But I really can’t-.”

Steve cuts his off again. “Yes, you can and that is the whole problem.”

“No, I can’t.” The hushed screams turn to louder reprimands. “Until the Feds get what they want, I’m powerless here.”

“But if it was El, that would be a completely different story, wouldn’t it?”

Even though Wayne can’t see them, the silence is so thick not even the sharpest blade could cut through it. Steve pushed the wrong button.

“Don’t go there, Steve.” The quiet anger in the Chief’s voice is enough to make anyone step down.

Steve doesn’t. “I am going there.” Steve’s voice has almost reached a yell. Full of anger of his own. “You do everything when it’s affecting you, and the people you care about. But as soon as it’s someone else that might get the fall, you step back and say you can’t do a damn thing.”

“I can’t do a damn thing,” the Chief booms.

“Yes. You. Can,” Steve yells right back. “If it were El, or Joyce, or Will, hell even Mike there strapped to that table right now, the cuffs would have been off the second you came back. No matter what. You would have taken the fall of that. You would have taken the Fed’s anger about it. You would have fucking done something about it. Why not now?”

Before the Chief can even answer the question, Steve is walking away with a huff. Not even noticing Wayne as he walks right back to the parking lot and slams the door of his fancy car. Driving away faster than he should.

Wayne might be directing the anger that sits in his chest at the wrong person.

But all of that doesn't seem to matter anymore. Almost immediately as his sits back in the hospital room, ready for nothing to happen. Eddie opens his eyes.

tag list, let me know if you want to be added or removed: @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,

@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,

@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,

@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,

@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,

@devondepresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug,

@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,

@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

#chills right to the marrow fic #stranger things #stranger things au #wayne munson #wayne pov #steve harrington #jim hopper #pre steddie #everyone lives/nobody dies

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daistea · 1 day

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I started writing an imagine request but got distracted and produced This Thing. I’ve been wanting to write out my thoughts and my analysis on Mithrun’s state of mind for a while, actually

tw suicide, depression, discussions of mental health and self worth

Dungeon Meshi Spoilers ahead ‼️❗️

Sooo despite a lack of desires, Mithrun lives by habit.

These habits aren’t driven by preference, likes or dislikes. They’re still culturally acceptable though, mainly because Milsiril and his brother were the ones that instilled these habits in him(Mithrun doesn’t care what’s acceptable if it has nothing to do with the demon.) And there are still a few quirks leftover from his old self, things he never had a stark desire or choice to do but still did simply because he was used to them. Even after 40 years, the ins and outs of what the demon did to him remain still so complex.

Mithrun doesn’t really care about the details all that much. I like to think that outside of the dungeon, he has a regular bathroom schedule. He bathes every day when possible. He brushes his teeth for exactly two minutes, twice a day. It isn’t that he desires to not stink, it’s that he has to do these to keep his team willing to be around him so he’d have a better chance at finding the demon again and finishing the job.

In my headcanon, there are a few small habits he hasn’t quite picked up yet. He often doesn’t bother to brush his hair— the thought doesn’t even enter his mind. It gets stringy, something his old self never would’ve allowed. Its only when he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror— a very rare occurrence, since mirrors remind him of the demon and the demon makes him want to shatter things— that he realizes that he should probably brush it for the sake of functionality.

Taking care of his skin is yet another habit he’d never really formed. Elves have naturally perfect skin anyway, so there’s no use. But they could still be scarred, and marred, and reflect physical neglect. Like with dark eye bags, a lack of sunlight, and dehydration.

Mithrun is incredibly dehydrated.

He doesn’t realize that, of course. While his body would feel the neglect, it doesn’t send those signals to his brain. With things like peeing, he only realizes that he needs to go to the bathroom because he recognizes the physical feeling, not because his brain says ‘got to pee now.’

With hunger, he feels pangs, but those pangs dont translate into appetite or a desire to eat. He only eats because it would keep him alive long enough to encounter the demon again.

Dehydration is also slightly physical, in that his throat will sometimes feel dry or his lips will chap, but he has not a single thought of ‘I’m craving water,’ Plus, what does that have to do with defeating the demon? Applying burts bees watermelon flavored lip balm ain’t getting him nowhere.

Everything goes back to the demon. Every move he makes is either because it’s a necessity of staying alive(to kill the demon) or because it’s part of the intricate web that will eventually lead him to the demon.

Mithrun gets hurt, he feels the physical pain, but his only desire is to patch it up quickly and keep moving to get to the demon. Healing himself for the sake of relief doesn't matter. Demon comes first. The demon is everything. It’s in the air he breathes, it’s in his bloodstream.

He doesn’t realize that he’s still Mithrun. He doesn’t consider himself as Mithrun anymore, that’s just his name. He lives for revenge(so he says) He Is An Instrument, a weapon that exists and is only maintained for the sole purpose of Revenge

A common misconception is that he has no emotion. Not true, he just doesn’t desire to fake a smile or joy or laughter for the sake of making someone feel comfortable. He can still smile quite naturally when he’s, ya know, getting closer to the goddamn demon. He can still be surprised and feel adrenaline and be angry at the things that happen in life. He can still get irritated or annoyed at his companions. He still has opinions, thoughts, feelings. He’s himself.

Idk. It’s incomprehensible almost, not having desires. It brings up so many variables. It’s not something you can be very literal or cut-and-dry about. My most effective way of connecting with his character is applying my experience with depression and the lack of desire I feel for doing certain things, and how I only do them for the sake of my family and friends. I think that’s considered relatively functioning. And I think honestly Mithrun would be considered high-functioning. But it’s not that he wants to do those things, he does them because he’s supposed to, because it all leads back to the stupid bitch face demon.

Mithrun tells himself he wants it dead. That’s his desire. But he knows if he ever succeeded in getting rid of it, he would have nothing. He’s okay with that. He’s going to die anyway, no matter if it’s by passively wasting away or by the mouth of the lion. He’s prepared for death, it’s inevitable. He’s not scared.

But once he decides to live again, he still functions mainly by habit. Except he starts to apply himself a little more.

“I’m going to wash myself today because my companions would appreciate that” and not “I need to stay clean to keep the team around to lead me to the demon”

And “I’m going to make noodles today to keep me busy.”

“I’m going to get a dog so I’ll have an obligation to go outside every day to walk it, because it’s good for me to do that.”

They’re still conscious choices, and sometimes he falters, he doesn’t register that he should do something. But he’s chosen to live and he’s trying to function not for the sake of his one goal, but for the sake of the gift that is existence.

He’ll learn to love, to have genuine friendships. On good days, he’ll appreciate a warm meal, the feeling of relief when drinking water, the soft touch of someone close to him. And he’ll experience these things because that’s what living people do. They’re nice things. He doesn’t do things anymore simply because they’ll take him closer to the demon.

It’s freeing, in a way. It’s scary, in another way. Imagine you’ve lost your one purpose in life, the one thing that keeps you on your feet, how would you react? Terrifying.

Mithrun is incredibly brave and strong for making the choice to find a new purpose, to exist, to eat.

#idk #mithrun #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #mithrun of the house of kerensil #dungeon meshi headcanons #character analysis

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yumeboshi · 1 day

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Congratulations Yume on 100 followers! Every milestone is important. For the event could I request a spooky white chocolate sundae? Can’t wait to see everything you write!

❝ THANK YOU FOR YOUR ORDER、 @karamazovski .ᐟ ⟡ HERE IS YOUR RECEIPT FROM CAFÉ YUME ⟡

𐙚GHOST-WHITE SPOOKY SUNDAE：it isn’t halloween but it’ll certainly make you feel like it is。

𐙚 dish desc。．a horror movie date apparently wasn’t enough for him, so he decides to make his own in reality.

．。𝜗𝜚 labels。the desc kind of says it all, general yandere themes, mentions of gore and violence, filthy, yes, filthy… guys dw i.. I write for sunday fluff too.., MINORS DNI

．。𝜗𝜚 ingredients。sunday ahaha

#SྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིUNDAY

THIS was probably not the desired date you wanted with your fiancé.

you were expecting a romantic movie night. you and sunday promised to watch a fun horror movie at your place that was airing in the penacony theater most recently. you loved horror movies. you really did.

you liked them when they stayed as movies, though.

you’re not sure how to react— your home smells of rotting corpses and a total bloodbath, as if you’re walking around a massacre aftermath. it even looks like a horror movie set, except it’s genuinely real, every single writhing limb under piles of bodies is real. the smell of death is too thick to be called fake.

was sunday hurt? was he killed? you feel your head spinning in desperate circles. the blood looked too fresh for the killer to have left already. you don’t even want to imagine what would happen if he was not here. you loved him like he was your soulmate— perfect, soft, and always worrying over you. you grip your fists tightly to prevent the lump in your throat from advancing forward.

you notice something playing in the background and realize the tv is left on- it’s currently airing a movie, a kids movie, you can tell; by how Clockie scurries around the screen, babbling about the ‘deadly halloween season’ and how it would doom them all.

the movie wasn’t even close to scary- there wasn’t any blood and it was just about boss stone causing a Halloween chaos, but your current situation sure was, and the constant cartoony gibberish that continues to fill the menacing air didn’t help ease your nerves.

“sunday?” you whisper anxiously. he couldn’t have died, right? he was the head of the oak family. you don’t see anyone you recognize in the corpses either, not that you want to take a closer look.

there’s no response, so you uncomfortably open the only door that’s closed in your estate- the bathroom. you try to open it, but it’s securely locked. with a panic you try to unlock it desperately.

and it all happens too fast. the door suddenly springs open and you’re met by a figure covered in blood who knocks you instantly to the crimson-stained tiles, a knife right at your throat. you don’t even have the time to scream because of how everything moved unreasonably fast.

but suddenly, they chuckle- it starts as a low laugh, and it slowly escalates creepily. the knife on your throat is slowly removed and you feel the coldness leave your neck, albeit you feel it has caused a brief dent on it.

“you scared me, sweetheart.” between laughs, the figure removes the golden mask from his face— and graces you with handsome features that are all too familiar. your gut twists and fresh nausea quickly engulfs your senses. you don’t want this to be true. you beg this wasn’t true.

“…sunday?” your mind spins with unanswered questions you honestly don’t want to be answered- why, how, when? “what are you doing?” you try to find an ounce of his innocence anywhere. “did a killer come here? did anything happen? are you h-hurt?”

His wings brush your petrified ghostly face- golden eyes dripping like honeyed ichor, he caresses your cheek with a chuckle. “please, don’t give me those questions, angel.”

“i love you very much, as you know,” he continues; and you desperately hang on for a rational explanation- he smiles slightly at your begging look, knowing that he unfortunately cannot meet your needs. “i thought you were finally my little dove, my only sweetheart- i thought we were perfectly meant to be.” with a gentle hoist he lifts you up like a bride, and if you ignored the gruesome truth hard enough, the scene is almost romantic- but the way his shoes clink against the scarlet-coated floor with a sticky ooze lets you know this isn’t your idealistic romance movie, but a scene straight out of thriller.

“w-we still can be,” you whisper, an attempt to quell whatever he was going to do- or a desperate last attempt to convince yourself that he’s still the man you loved.

“oh, no. we can’t be, sweetheart— not with all these people interrupting us.” he gestures absently to the room- his eyes are all on you, and you wonder why you are seeing just how that his lovely golden eyes have deceived you to think that they were filled with love- when it was not. no, it was obsession, you can see the way they burn with a primal desire that is far too strong to be called love. They are glued onto you as he lies you down to the couch like you’re a diamond placed in a museum glass box.

“and at last, I could finally get rid of them at once- since ive heard you love horror movies and Halloween, my dear, this shouldn’t be too frightening for you.” he extends a hand to you to which you shy away from, scared- he smiles at that. “—i won’t harm you even if i was asked to, love, unless you like that.” with a swift nip, he pulls his snow-white gloves from his hands- now stained with blood that’s not his, he discards them to the floor with a sigh. “it’s certainly a shame to see my favorite attire and gloves all go to waste, though. Although, I’m sure it will be worth the pain.”

you are not sure how to respond- your rationale tells you to scream and run away from this maniacal angel that has lost his wings to descend into hell long ago— but your heart is begging you to stay, because you know he is the closest thing you had to a partner in life, the one angel that never left your side. when you are torn between how to act, his hands are already lifting up your shirt, exposing you to the chill of danger.

“I’m still the same man you loved, you know,” he whispers, his eyes lose some of their sadism and soften into everlasting gentleness. you’re not ready to look into them though, so try to look away— only for him to grip your chin to make you look back— you see your horror reflected inside his golden pupils that drink in your fear— and curve like the eyes of a jack-o-lantern.

he loves your fear. he loves the look you’re giving him a little too much, that he can’t help but let out a soft groan. oh, how he wants to take you right here and now, watching your entrance filled to the brim with cum, his cum- leaking out prettily to the sides as he pounds into you senselessly while promising you he’s going to be the perfect husband, the perfect father for your kids— and you’d be such a pretty wife, too, but he can’t, not when you are not married yet. he wants to keep his desires under control until his everlasting vows are bestowed right on your fingers, until you are his and his only.

the way he breathes into your skin, smiling adoringly at you without a care to the grotesque crimson room, makes you feel as if ants are crawling inside the pit of your stomach. it’s uncomfortable, you know you should leave him at this instant. he was breaking you. he was ruining your capability to think.

but why is it that no matter how hard you try to force the words out, that you don’t love him- not like this, you can’t utter a single syllable? maybe it is his hand doing wonders to you, ghosting over your skin, making your body jerk up and tremble. or maybe it’s the way how smoothly he kisses your lips that are dry with terror, cooing broken promises about how nothing is going to change, and that you’re still his happy future wife, forever and ever.

#𐙚．。articles #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail smut #sunday x reader #honkai star rail yandere #hsr smut #sunday smut #yandere sunday #hsr x reader

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hugemilkshake · 2 days

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Helloooo! Before I start with my ask, I love your art and I enjoy looking at it and I do admire it! So my request is Yandere Ancient Cookies with Ancient Cookie Y/N! They’re always protected of them and wanna make sure that they’re safe! This can be Romantic or Platonic!

Enjoy the milkshake! This is before dark enchantress happened so there’s less anxiety and issues. The beasts are not included

Yandere Ancients X Ancient Reader

-platonic or romantic-

!TW! Under the cut this will have stuff like overprotectiveness, implications of isolation, obsession and slight intentional harm

Pure Vanilla

Pure Vanilla is very a peaceful man, all he wants is for you to stop trying to be a hero like him and the other ancients!

Now he won’t tell you that to your face but you can tell he doesn’t want you to lift a finger

If you get hurt he will subtly hint that you shouldn’t be doing things like this while he heals you

Now Pure Vanilla will let you get hurt, not because he doesn’t care about you! But so he can heal you and say “I told you so”

If you decide to step down he will happily let you stay at his kingdom! But he will get a little disappointed that he can’t heal you as often anymore…

Hollyberry

Hollyberry is less worried than Pure Vanilla, she’s probably the most lenient ancient out of the bunch

She believes you can take care of yourself fairly well!

But if there’s one thing she won’t let you do it’s travel into the dragons valley alone. What if you run into The Red Dragon and she’s not there to shield you?!

Hollyberry loves to drink berry juice with you! If you get drunk she will make sure you don’t do anything stupid

But she might try to get you to spill some secrets…

Over she’s the best ancient to be stuck with due to the amount of freedoms you have!

Dark Cacao

Dark Cacao, like Pure Vanilla doesn’t like you going out and being a hero. But unlike Pure Vanilla he will tell you that to your face

He will do everything in his power to keep you from fighting. But he can’t do much since you have your own life that you need to tend to (weather that be having a kingdom or just traveling around)

Dark Cacao will protect you with his life, if you even suggest exploring the frozen tundra he will have a mini heart attack and insist to go with you

Dark Cacao will always pester you about staying in and away from the cold

At one point you just have to give in. Once you do Dark Cacao is pretty calm.

Just don’t think about leaving.

Golden Cheese

Golden Cheese takes an entirely different approach compared to the others so far, she lets you do whatever you want but when you visit her she gives you anything you want!

She try’s to unknowingly bribe you to stay with her, weather that be by giving you beloved treasures or your favorite food

When you are in Golden Cheeses kingdom you are treated like a god/goddess

Golden Cheese has lots of things depicting you as some heavenly being, now depending on you, she might hide them or let you see them

But Golden Cheeses ideal life is in her kingdom with you ruling beside her and never leaving her side

White Lily

White Lily is very conflicted. While she doesn’t want you fighting, she wants you to travel with her

White Lily desperately wants you to aid her in her studies but due to the other ancients and your own life, you can’t

White Lily will either stay with you or constantly write letters to you.

But if White Lily stays with you she has to leave for beats yeast eventually.

When she’s at beast yeast she can’t get you out of her head….

Which isn’t a good thing when she falls into the ultimate dough…

#crk #cookie run #crk x reader #pure vanilla cookie #hollyberry cookie #dark cacao cookie #golden cheese cookie #white lily cookie #yandere crk

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jeons-catalyst · 2 days

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Do you think that all the times Jk hung out with tae in chapter two and came went back home and started a Live, do you think he did those intentionally? I hadn’t thought about it too much until a saw an ask which recounted all the hangouts and how Jk went back home each time and started Lives kinda like he wanted to make sure everyone saw he was home and spending the night with tae. What do you think? There’s also the way he makes sure to explain things with details so that people don’t misunderstand because tae is fond of saying things without context. This isn’t me beinf hateful to tae btw, i’m just curious.

Well anon, i think only Jk knows why he does the things he does so no one can say for sure why he did those Lives after most of his public hangouts with Tae but let’s theorize shall we?

I had honestly never really thought about it much either until i saw your ask. So what we know is that in chapter two, taekook did hangout quite a bit. The most we had seen them spend time outside of work with each other in over a decade so i guess that ITS talk really helped in closing the distance that was creeping into their friendship.

We know of hangouts like the snowboarding trip, Park hyosin’s musical, Harry Styles Concert in Seoul, the dream premiere etc and let’s see how all of this went.

With the snowboarding trip, we didn’t really know much about it till Jk spoke about it during his spotify interview when he was doing promo for Golden. So Jk told us that he went snowboarding with Tae and wooga and snowboarding was so fun that he wanted to do it again the next day but the others said they were leaving so everyone left and he stayed back by himself. So in this case, Jk intentionally or unintentionally made us to understand that they went on a ski trip but he wasn’t alone with tae and not only wasn’t he alone with Tae but tae actually left him there alone and journeyed back home with his friends. So we still don’t know everything that happened 100% but what we do know is that this was like a friends ski trip and most importantly, he stayed back alone while everyone else left. There is no room for confusion here even though i have seen taekookers swearing that Tae couldn’t have left Jk behind and that Jk lied because he couldn’t say that he stayed with tae alone but if he was going to lie about it then why did he choose to tell the story anyways? Wouldn’t it have been better for him to just not say anything about it?

After they attended Park Hyoshin’s musical in March last year, Jk went back home and started a Live really late at night where he sang some songs and then later fell asleep on Live. So we all know that he had been at the musical with Tae and some members of wooga but we also know that Jk went back to his apartment after the Live and we only know this because Jk went Live after the outing. Did he do this intentionally to make sure everyone knew he was home? I don’t know but what is funny is that this wasn’t the only time he did this.

After Jk attended the dream premiere with Tae and wooga in April last year, the premiere which taekookers considered their “soft launch” (i wonder why taekook would decide to soft launch their relationship at another person’s movie premiere) Jk went back home alone and started a Live at 4am. On that Live, he listened to some music and cooked for a bit before going to bed. This will be the second time Jk was hanging out with Tae and going back home to start a Live. Again was this action intentional on Jk’s part? I don’t know but i am grateful that he did because we all know how taekookers would have sworn that he went back home with tae after their “soft launch” and the boyfriend had a great night. Tae also woke up from his own apartment the next day and started a live and he was the one who told us that they also had drinks after and he got drunk and passed out while Jk didn’t drink much. I don’t understand how Jk would leave his passed out drunk boyfriend all alone and choose to go back to his empty dark apartment to start a Live but maybe that’s just me.

Then we had the Harry styles concert in seoul that Jk attended with Tae, Hyunshik, Joon and Yoongi. Taekook didn’t even sit together and they didn’t leave together either but ofcourse taekookers say that they went home together even though we have a picture on Tae’s instagram of himself on that exact same day in Jennie’s neighborhood after the concert but i rest my case

Another thing that i never really understood was why Jk felt the need to come back on Live to explain why Tae and Hobi were at his house on that day Tae started a Live there without Jk’s knowledge. Jk came back and made sure he explained that he sent a text to the group chat asking if anyone wanted to come over and Hobi and Tae came over. This wasn’t really necessary if you asked me but somehow he felt like he needed to set things straight.

Even after tae said he recorded at Jk’s house, Jk later explained that he got some new equipment for his studio and Tae suddenly called him to ask if he could try recording at his place and he also explained that Tae didn’t record the final thing at his place. This came after taekookers had started writing fanfics about how Tae recorded his entire album at Jungkook’s place and that Jungkook was present throughout every step.

So anon, i can’t say for sure why Jk always makes sure to explain these things or makes sure he goes Live from his apartment after some hangouts with Tae. It could mean nothing or maybe he explains because he doesn’t want anyone to misunderstand. It’s just funny because i don’t really see him feeling the need to clarify anything when it comes to Jimin. I mean the only time i saw him scrambling to say something was when Jimin said Jk was in his room basically all the time and Jk said he goes there alot because Jimin’s room is closest and he gets lonely by himself even though by doing this he indirectly told us that Jimin is his person and who he would rather be with when he is lonely because it wouldn’t have killed him to take another 10 steps to tae’s room or any other member’s room, instead he chose to constantly visit one particular person’s room.

One thing i will add though is that, i have noticed that whenever Jk explains things, he likes to give as much context as possible which is very different from Tae’s approach of just throwing things out there which lets people add or reduce which ever context they like from it. Jk gives you the full context so there is no way to add or remove anything and that is why some jikookers think Tae lies because whenver he says something, taekookers usually add whatever context they want to it and treat it as facts but when Jk tells his version, it is completely different from what taekookers had made up from the one line tae threw out there. So even though i can’t say for sure why Jk does what he does, i am grateful he does because atleast from him, we all get better context. If Jk didn’t go Live from his apartment alone after those times he hung out with tae, taekookers would have sworn they went back home together and we wouldn’t have had any proof to deny their claims with but thanks to Jk we know what happened after even if taekookers still insist on calling Jk a liar when he clears the air.

One funny thing is that, no other period debunked taekook to me as much as chapter two. The more those two hung out, they clearer it became it me that there was no way in hell those two were more than friends. There was this huge difference in how Jk hung out with Tae and how he hung out with Jimin and that made all the difference to me. Jk never was never one to just meetup with Jimin and hangout with him for a few hours and then return to his house. If Jk and jimin were together hanging out, chances are they were going to be together for the rest of the night. Jk hangs out with tae the way i hang out with my friends. We meet each other, hang out for a few hours and then go our separate ways. Jk spends time with Jimin the way i spend time with my significant other. We have late night drinks alone, watching movies, eating chicken, spending the nights together and waking up and doing other things together. When Jk hangs out with Jimin, it doesn’t seem like either of them is in a hurry to leave each other. It feels like they just want to stay with each other even if they aren’t doing anything in particular. Remember how we watched Jk go over to Jimin’s to cook and hang out in the documentary and the next day those two were spotted at a restaurant with friends with Jk wearing Jimin’s hat which suggests that he spent the night there with Jimin and they went out the next day. This isn’t something i see taekook doing. There is also a big difference in the things they do, where they do them and who they do those things with. Most of taekook’s hangouts in chapter two always had other people tagging along but compare that to all the hangouts of Jikook that we know about. Think about Jk telling Jimin he will pack some things and come shower at his place, think about Jimin calling Jk and asking him what kind of chicken he should order, think about Jikook having late night drinks only for Jimin to end up in Jk’s arms being spun around bridal style and having to “bite” him to get him to put him down. Think about jikook being together on Jk’s birthday at 4am, think about jikook being together late at night and posting a video on twitter from Jimin’s apartment. Jikook’s hangouts are intimate and mostly just for the two of then to spend time together and sometimes they chose to hang with friends but almost all of taekook’s hangouts that we know of are typical friend hangouts. Even times when we know that they were at each other’s houses, they were still not alone or were there for a reason and not just because. This is the difference.

#jimin #jungkook #jikook #taekook #jikook blog #my asks

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mazzyfawn · 2 hours

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im a multishipper. i ship buddie and bucktommy. but if im being honest one side is being incredibly more hateful and toxic than the other side. (aka the one thats been around longer) maybe i’ve taken off my rose-colored shipping glasses, but seeing ppl make hate posts abt tommy/lou gives me the ick. it makes me actually realize why oliver left twt. bitterness will get you nowhere. if buddie is meant to happen then it’ll happen. you cannot force it to happen. everything i’ve seen and read tells me buddie was more of a consideration pre-s5 than it is currently. and that fucking sucks but just because things aren’t going your way doesn’t mean you need to get on the internet and be a bully. it’s truly mind-boggling to see people so intense in their hate for a character that has righted his wrongs, who is now friends with the people he wronged, is well-liked among said characters and is now being a positive influence on buck’s newfound sexuality. their dynamic is also nothing new, pessimist/optimist ship dynamics have been around forever and it’s only a problem because it’s not eddie.

i would be happy for buddie to go canon as much as the next guy. getting buck canonically bisexual is mind-blowing enough in itself, i’m glad we’re witnessing it at all. if ryan doesn’t want to do buddie because he feels its important they stay friends then so be it. platonic friendships between a queer man and straight man are important, especially one that runs so deep like buck and eddie’s. sure, their friendship could be read as romantic throughout the show, but partly because oliver and ryan truly share a great chemistry on screen which helps lean into it but also because these shows are not written with an endgame in mind. 9-1-1 is very much a go with the flow show, and if bucktommy is where the show is flowing then that’s what is meant to be. invisible string theory isn’t because ppl think it was always planned from the beginning, it’s because it’s amazing how well buck and tommy becoming a couple comes together so perfectly out of pure coincidence.

we know buck was supposed to be made queer long ago. we also know maddie originally was brought in for eddie but was put with chimney instead. if tim minear hadn’t left after s4 i truly think buddie could have been already established by now, but unfortunately that isn’t how things work. perhaps the idea of tommy and eddie was pitched but ultimately ryan didn’t agree it would work for these character nor the story being told at the time. buck was already supposed to be queer, so turning it to tommy and buck instead makes total sense.

no one is saying you aren’t allowed to continue to ship buddie. most ships in the world are ships that have never gone canon. buddie is valid even if it’s non-canon. god knows i will continue to read and write for them and enjoy them whilst also enjoying buck and tommy together. the behavior i’ve been seeing though is just weird, especially from larger creators who i understand are very passionate for buddie, but it’s weird when you flip it into tommy/lou hate instead of just talking about buddie itself.

perhaps the theories will be true. we don’t know! maybe buck and tommy won’t last and buddie will be endgame. i’m happy either way because buck’s sexuality is so important for him and at the current state of the show eddie is absolutely not ready for anything romantic because he’s still grieving shannon to a point where he is not ready to move on romantically just yet and we’re literally shown this. even if buddie is happening, it is not happening by the season finale nor is it probably happening by the beginning of s8 considering the current storylines and where they’ll be at by the end of this season. lou probably isn’t going anywhere and from the looks of it, we’ll probably be bumped up into a semi-regular character in s8 like karen. he’s easy to write into the plot, he’s got connections to people and emergencies outside of buck that would integrate him well into the plot. their romance is supposed to be “romcom” esque, they’re taking things slow but they’re obviously happy together at the moment.

im just really tired of the nasty attitudes ive been seeing. sure theres are som toxic people on both sides, but to me its obvious which side is being the bigger bully. reality checks needs to be put in place for some people, go outside and realize you are getting way too worked up over a tv show where plotlines are out of your control. if the show is ruined for you over one relationship then stop watching it.

#911 abc #bucktommy #buddie #venting #maybe some will read it and actually reflect on themselves

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yingjiaoyue · 2 days

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“Scars from the past.”

A side fanfic about Jiao Yue encountering Syaoran while being in a defenseless moment. But in midway, Macaque and Mayor arrives. How will they react and handle the situation?…

TW: Violence, Harassment, Toxic Ex coming back!!

(First-Person POV: Jiao Yue)

7:30 at night. It’s been four hours since I’ve felt this burning heat inside me. For all I know, I always took my meds. I’ve always had a proper diet and I don’t eat that much of salty and sweet foods. Why do I have this fever? This is not really usual for me.

This doesn’t feel normal. I feel hot all over my body, but I’m not entirely feeling sick or nauseous. I tried to stand up but everytime I do, I feel weak on my knees. I can’t stand for any longer than a minute. I’m thinking of the reasons how could this happened. For sure, I already kicked out Macaque twice today and he probably won’t come back until the next morning or something. And that one creepy guy that I apparently don't know his name, but he told me to call him "The Mayor", I only meet him outside my apartment. I don’t think he even knows where’s my room. Great. I’m stuck in this feverish-heat on my own. Alone.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself somehow. I slowly stand up, starting to make my way to my bedroom to get proper rest. But I was interrupted when I heard a sudden knock from my front door. “Huh?… I didn’t ordered anything… nor called anyone to my place…” , I mumbled to myself, but I gathered my remaining strength to check it either way. I rub my face, trying to not make the blush on my face too noticeable. Walking towards the front door, I opened it and to my surprise, it was him. “… you…” I gasped.

“Oh, you look surprise to see me, darling?”, Syaoran’s voice starts to give me a sense of fear and hatred. “Hm? Is it just me or… you’re looking pretty red tonight…?”, Syaoran says but his tone isn’t filled with concern, but rather a twisted amusement and almost like he had a dark intention. I couldn’t say a word back. I don’t know why, maybe I was too shock? Too scared? Too enraged?… I couldn’t speak. Out of frantic, I shut the door close, the outside surface of the door hitting his nose when it crashed to his face. I could hear his pained and angered scream from outside. God, why did he had to appear now.

I quickly rushed towards my room, but this heat remains and oh gosh, it’s making everything more worse. I locked my door, this feels similar to the past where he would try to chase me down and start to hit me. I don’t want to experience it. I don’t want to feel the same pain again.

As everything went almost silent, I heard a loud crash from outside. Fuck. He broke in. I covered my mouth, my hands trembling and the tears start to swell in my eyes. I could hear his voice.

“Jiao Yue, darling… you still haven’t change, huh…”

Please go away.

“Still the same scaredy-cat and crybaby. Always running and hiding away from me.”

Please… don’t come near me.

“You really love to test my patience, huh?” Syaoran lets out a low, dark chuckle. I tried my best not to make a sound, covering my mouth with both hands in desperation and fear. As the silence continues, he suddenly snaps. “FUCK. COME OUT NOW, BITCH. I’VE HAD ENOUGH WITH YOUR GAMES.”

I nearly choke. He sounds the same as when he yells at me years ago. Rage, dominant, and terrifying as I could remember. Please, don’t let him come near me… please, please, please-

“There you are.”

I hear his voice from the other side of my bedroom door. My heart skips a beat as I feel the fear and terror wash over me. In a second, he suddenly kicks the door open, and I stumble to the ground. I land on my stomach as I grunt in pain. My ears start to ring as I nearly cry.

“It’s so funny how you think you could hide from me. You’re still as vulnerable and naive as ever, Jiao Yue.” He says with a smooth tone, in contrast of his aggressiveness when he crouches down and grabs a handful of my hair, pulling it so I could hear him better. “P-please.. don’t…” I cried breathlessly. The fear and the heat starting to overwhelm me. I can’t think straight. Why is this happening to me…

He takes his time to lean close, his nose taking in my scent. He inhales so close to my neck that it sends shivers to my spine. "Well, perfect timing... It seems like you're ready." His words make me want to gag. "... w-what are you talking about–"

I feel his grip loosening on my hair, but then he quickly moves my body and makes me lay on my back, suddenly pinning me down. "Don't you know you're in heat?", I nearly choke from his words. Heat? Like those period of time that cats experience when— oh... oh god. No. No, this can't be happening.

"I- no.. You're mistaken—"

"Do you think I'm dumb enough to not notice that? It's so clearer than glass. Look at how you look... how you speak... how you smell..."

"Stop it!", I suddenly slapped him out of panic when his head got closer. Anger flashes from his eyes and I gulped in fear. "You dare hit me? You think you can do whatever you want now?! That you're in control?!.... hah.... let me show you who's in control."

My eyes widen as he suddenly presses his lips against mine. I squirmed underneath him as he held me down with both arms, his kiss feeling cold and forceful. I can't do this. Tears start to flow down from my eyes, my body weakening and feeling more warmer as seconds pass. He pulls back for a brief second just to see my expression. I closed my eyes shut, but I swear I noticed that dark smirk coming from him. I cried. I can't stop crying. Why is this happening...

I hear his soft moans as his hand holds both of my arms above me. His other hand starts going down and tracing my thighs. No, no, no, no. I quietly prayed, I don't want to be here anymore. My breaths turned shaky and unsteady as my crying continued. His lips start to move towards my jaw, down to my neck and to my shoulder. I want to run away, but I feel defenseless and weak. I hate this. I suddenly gasped when his free hand started to roam towards my inner thighs. "So... warm..." he mumbles close to my ear. I feel the fear and terror overwhelming me despite feeling warm all over my body. "Syaoran- stop this.. please.."

My cries fall into deaf ears as he only continues to take advantage of me. I want to cry until I could no longer cry. I want to kill myself right now than go through this again. I want to die.

Before I almost felt numb from this physical and emotional torture, I could suddenly hear footsteps approaching... running... then-*CRASH*

... Macaque?

His ears perked up as they glowed in the dark. His fists clench so hard that I almost notice it trembling from anger. Macaque proceeds to grab Syaoran by his collar and then throws him against the wall and makes a huge crack from the force. "Can you stand, dear? Hold on...", another voice speaks from my other side. It was the Mayor, he removed his coat and covered it on my exposed body. "..." I couldn't say anything at the moment, I was still feeling somewhat overwhelmed and my body felt weak. The Mayor didn't thought twice and proceeds to carry me in a bridal style. As much as I hate when anyone touches me, I felt rather... safe... in his arms. I curled myself, my sobs calming down at the moment. From the distance, he carried me outside of my bedroom and gently placed me down to the couch. He straightens himself and when he was about to leave, I suddenly reached out for his arm. My hand somewhat holding onto his arm tight... almost desperate. "Stay... please.." I muttered with shaky breaths. His eyes widen a bit, and a look of concern flashes through his face before it softens than his usual cold, unhinged look. He slowly wrapped his arms around me, slowly to see if I'd have any triggered reactions from his touch. I let myself feel vulnerable now. I just wanted someone to hold me and keep me safe.. Before I even noticed, my eyelids closed on its own. My head resting on his chest as he slowly rubs my head.

...

(Third-Person POV)

After couple minutes of Macaque dealing with Syaoran, Macaque finally comes out of the room. His face half-beaten up as his claws were stained with blood. "Good Buddha, what happened to you?", The Mayor says bluntly, but is still holding onto the sleeping Jiao Yue.

"Fuck, who knew that bitch was a fucking werewolf? I did manage to beat the shit out of that guy, threw him to the walls couple times, punched his creepy-ass face, gave him a scar on his torso. But he got away." Macaque groans in annoyance, adjusting his red scarf and wiping the blood off from his claws with his sleeve. "... How is she doing?"

"She's asleep." The Mayor sighs and looks at her, feeling almost angry for what happened. "Why didn't you joined me to beat him? He couldn't have got away if you did."

"I tried, but she asked me to stay. Plus, I thought you could handle it on your own." "I- Of course, I could! I just didn't knew he was a descendant of Kui Mulang y'know."

"Right... whatever. I suggest you also fix and clean up her room. After all, you did a lot of damage." "Oh shit- how do you repair a whole room?"

The end.

___

Maaan this took a while, probably like a good 5 hours to make lol. I already had the idea but kinda wanted to make it more dramatic and all but I'm not good in writing. Some grammar in the context are also off cuz english isn't my first language too, sorry- but yeh.. finally done!

#ying jiao yue #dong syaoran #lmk oc #lmk macaque #lmk mayor #lego monkie kid #lmk fanfic #lmk fanfiction #the senri

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glade-constellation · 14 hours

Text

Long ass text post here we go. All my thoughts and feelings on the current TSAMS lore.

Just a warning, there are 2496 words under the cut, lmao.

MOON :

(Warning, there is a brief mention of suicidal ideation in this section.)

First off, the whole thing with Moon. I’m personally not the biggest fan of how the fandom is handling his situation, considering he’s most likely dealing with some form of psychotic PTSD. Solar literally died in his arms. That is going to have repercussions on his mental health. He’s not crazy or insane, he is severely traumatized. And it’s not like this was a sudden change in how he behaved, he’s been showing signs of decline since Solar’s death. Monty literally saw Moon hallucinating three weeks before this confrontation happened, and just decided not to tell anyone about it. Jack heard Moon mumbling about his plans for Ruin, but Jack is young and didn’t know how to handle the situation. Moon’s computer saw the signs and also told no one. It’s not like he just snapped. This has been a steady decline built up over months. People were either too scared to share, or saw the signs and just wanted to believe nothing was wrong with him. Moon got this bad because no one tried to help him. It doesn’t help that people are viewing Moon’s self destructive actions at his literal feelings on certain things. Sun literally told Earth that Moon will say rude things to get out of an argument quicker. Everyone is so upset about the things Moon told Earth, but they aren’t understanding that Moon very likely meant absolutely nothing of what he said. He was trying to run, but Sun and Earth were standing in front of the door. He was currently running on the mindset of “hurt someone enough and they will just let you leave”. Earth has every right to be upset that he even said those things, yes, but Moon is not thinking rationally right now.

Some of the stuff he kept repeating really shows how far he’s fallen into his depression. He doesn’t care how much his family currently hates him. He doesn’t care if Solar hates him after he brings him back. He doesn’t care about pretty much anything that isn’t directly related to bringing Solar back. He even said he doesn’t care if he himself dies. He has one goal in mind and is completely blind to everything else. This is suicidal ideation. He may not want to die, but he doesn’t care if he does.

That being said, Moon has crossed so many lines. His morals have been skewed way past what most people consider wrong and right. He’s hellbent on getting Solar back, no matter the cost. He’s genuinely not thinking of anything but his end goal, which is going to, probably literally, blow up in his face. The whole point of why he’s doing this in the first place is to make his family happy, and he’s putting in a lot of effort to make it happen, but isn’t liking the real reaction he’s getting. His family isn’t just upset with him, they are scared of him. Moon may not have heard this, but both Earth and Lunar’s first question when hearing about Moon’s current state was “Is he safe to even be near right now”. Which is a valid question considering how physically violent Old Moon was. Lunar even states remembering these reactions when they used to share a body, and how much it scared him. For being so dead set on reminding people he’s not the Old Moon, it’s almost funny how far he’s crossed the line of what Old Moon did.

Even worse, Moon is using Old Moon’s sacrifice as a way to push his own current ideals. He feels he has a legacy to live up to, considering Old Moon gave his life to save Killcode, and also feels he is failing miserably at it. Killcode still ended up dying later on, Solar died in his arms, his family is still going through hell. He blames himself for everything going wrong, even if we as an audience know none of it is his fault. He won’t stop until he feels vindicated of these “failures”. Eclipse had a comment in a recent episode about how all Moons run on a hyped up sense of ego, and that’s very clearly showing with what Moon’s feeling right now. Moon takes extreme pride in being the protector of the family, and feels he has failed in every way imaginable.

( I would also like to point out how Moon keeps saying he’s getting back a Ruin for what he did, but that’s not even his plan anymore. When Bloodmoon took Ruin, Moon sent Molten after them and said he could have Ruin. Ruin was the whole reason Molten even showed up in the first place. Moon changed trajectory and decided to use Bloodmoon to bring Solar back, because he agreed to let Molten have Ruin if he could find where the two had gone. Bloodmoon may be a reoccurring villain, but he had nothing to do with Solar’s death. He’s honest in mourning as well, over his brother that Moon helped kill. Bloodmoon is a bystander in this situation that is being dragged in unwillingly. Yeah, maybe that’s a good idea considering Bloodmoon is going after Monty, but this feels morally wrong. )

Sun :

This episode showed a lot about how far Sun has come in the past two years. Back when the show first started, Sun would have immediately caved in an argument like this. He would have made a point to get his side across, but his voice would shake and he’d stutter over his words and physically cower away from Moon. Now he faced Moon and very clearly spoke his side of the argument. He walked right up to Moon while talking too. It’s almost got this bittersweet feel, because he’s grown past his trauma with Old Moon, but like. It’s sad that his reaction is what it is in the first place. The moment he learned what was happening with Moon, he acted resigned. Like he knew he was going to be the only one to be able to deal with it. He never should have needed to learn this reaction in the first place.

Eclipse comment about Sun being the most stable in this situation is so sad to me, because it’s true. Sun has spent his entire life dealing with Moon. Most of Sun’s problems that he’s had to deal with, for his entire life, have been due to Moon. It’s the sad truth. Sun woke up, then Moon appeared and straight up told him that he would make his life a living hell. When they finally began functioning as siblings and decided to split bodies, Moon created Eclipse. On top of Eclipse, Moon still acted out and would both verbally and physically berate Sun. When Moon was reset, he then had to deal with Moon misjudging his grief over what he had lost. He’s had years of experience handling Moon and his outbursts. Sun may not be perfectly fine, but he is currently the most equipped to handle this situation.

There’s something poetic about how this current situation parallels Sun’s past. He also dealt with a psychotic episode after he killed Bloodmoon, and was locked in a box as Moon’s attempt to stop him from killing Eclipse. There’s a lot of similarities. I think the biggest difference is simply how Sun is handling this versus how Moon handled it. Moon trapped Sun in a small box that he could barely move around in and stripped him of his magic, leaving Sun completely defenseless. The fact that the box was invisible was probably also not helping with Sun’s hallucinations. Sun was left alone in probably one of the most defenseless positions he could have been left in, and didn’t seem to be planning on ways to help him after Sun was trapped.

Sun is going in with a plan, something Moon didn’t have. He also has help from the rest of the family. What I’m hoping is that Sun won’t do the same to Moon, and that the containment room that gets built is an actual room. I’m hoping Sun plans for after Moon gets captured. Earth probably won’t want to hold a therapy session with Moon after what Moon said to her, but that doesn’t mean they give up on giving him therapy. That doesn’t mean they give up on getting him help. (With the luck of the TSAMS characters, this probably won’t happen, but I wish.)

Earth :

Earth as a character in general is probably the most relatable to me besides Lunar. It sometimes makes talking about her situation hard for me, so I apologize if this section doesn’t do her justice.

It’s obvious that Sun isn’t the only one dealing with revisiting old trauma. Earth has brought it up in many episodes how much she can’t bring herself to trust her own family due to the Creator. She wants to, so badly. She makes excuses for her brothers when she sees signs of them not being truthful, because she wants to believe they would never hurt her that way. She wholeheartedly did not want to believe something was wrong with Moon until Eclipse brought her irrefutable truth.

She’s stumbling. She already deals with a heavy amount of self doubt, and now she is dealing with everything Moon said to her. A lot of who she is is built around this idea of needing to be perfect, to be good at what she does. That was the whole point of why the Creator made her. She is the Better Daycare Attendant. Moon calling her a fake therapist and telling her that she’s bad at what she does tore down that already wobbly sense of perfection. She’s been trying to logic her way through every time she feels herself become imperfect or inadequate, but she can’t work past what Moon told her using the same tactics. Not only is Moon someone whose opinion matters a lot to her, he was blunt in the way he worded things.

Her trust is shattered, her pride is destroyed, and it’s bringing up a lot of past trauma she hasn’t fully worked through. She’s also still dealing with Solar’s death on top of this. The only person who will sit down and listen to her problems, that she is comfortable talking to about them, is Eclipse. He’s one of the most unqualified people to help deal with these problems, in all honesty. Everyone else is either busy or dealing with too much of their own shit. There’s a lot she needs to work through, but there isn’t a clear or easy way to do that. There never really is, but this situation is definitely terrible circumstances for it.

I do think we might see an argument between her and Monty soon. Learning that they kept Moon’s condition a secret did not make her happy. In my opinion, a valid reaction. I don’t really care how good Monty and Moon’s friendship is or used to be. They absolutely shouldn’t have kept this information to themself.

Lunar :

There isn’t much to say for him as he didn’t have a large part in the episode (understandably on Reed’s part). He honestly has so much going on right now that I’m not really surprised by his reaction. It’s just one more thing going on. He’s stressed constantly and can barely handle what’s happening just with his own stuff.

It’s interesting to me that he said the situation would make him cry. Currently, I feel like Lunar hasn’t really cried since he was revived. He’s more prone to bursts of anger nowadays, or just some form of dissociation. Him saying he would cry and talking about his past when sharing a body with Moon feels like falling back on old trauma responses.

I’m interested to see if we get his reaction to this situation in future episodes.

Eclipse :

Obligatory Eclipse mention on my part. I’ve already talked about him recently, but I will always take any chance to talk about my guy.

I absolutely love how he keeps trying to tell himself he doesn’t know why he’s helping. He obviously knows why he’s doing it, he’s just too prideful to admit it. I’m still not over the “I’ve come to learn with Moons, they’re really egotistical. Reminds me of myself.” He is so overly self aware, and finally seems to be at the point of realizing that.

It’s upsetting that there’s a real chance he’s going to leave once Solar is back. Dark made it sound like he was going to have to die in order for Solar to live, which is even worse. Despite Moon saying that no one will ever love him, I do think Earth will mourn him when he’s gone, regardless of if he dies or leaves. There’s a slight possibility Lunar would as well, considering Lunar still has a part of him that wishes for the brotherhood they could have had. After that one conversation in the atrium, Lunar seems to have calmed down a little, and Eclipse has definitely grown a little past where he was.

Solar :

This section is pretty speculative, and more about stuff I couldn’t really fit in Moon’s section that related to Solar. (Warning, this section briefly talks about suicide.)

I am still reeling over what Moon said about Solar’s reaction when he brings him back. The whole line about letting Solar die again if he wants. Like, there are several layers of “fucked up” to that statement.

First, I don’t believe Moon one bit on that statement. I don’t truly believe that Moon would ever, under any circumstance, let any of his family willingly die. He is much too prideful of his role as protector, and he cares far too much for his siblings to let them get that far. He’s also grieving for Solar, I don’t think he’d ever let go of him if they’re able to bring him back. He didn’t let Killcode die when they separated, there’s no way he’s letting Solar right after he gets him back.

Second, that’s not how that works. If Moon brings Solar back, he is then responsible for the life he brought back. Willingly letting Solar die again because Solar wants it is literally enabling suicide. That’s just, no. I wouldn’t ever be able to look at Moon the same if he allowed that.

But I doubt Solar would want that if he was brought back. As much as he’s probably going to hate what Moon’s doing right now, I highly doubt he would throw away another chance at life. He would absolutely respect the effort put into getting him back, even if he didn’t necessarily like the actions taken. I don’t think Moon’s plan is going to work anyways. I really do think Eclipse is going to be the one to pull it off, probably after Moon tries, which is going to cause a lot of things between them.

#🌟 Ten Talks #🫧 Lunar Laughs #tsams #sams #the sun and moon show #sun and moon show #tsams moon #tsams sun #tsams earth #tsams lunar #tsams eclipse #tsams solar

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tenebrous-academic · 2 days

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I think starting off with bucktommy having so many scenes focusing on them just made us greedy (Understandable, how could you get enough of them?😭). Like I'm mourning tommy's scene with henren. It's already established that chimney is bucktommy warrior but I really wanted to see how things between hen and tommy are. Like damn, there's no way we're finding out huh?

But considering how short the season is I think tim is doing a good job at establishing bt. We've seen tommy in many 118 important moments (the rescue, madney's wedding, the ceremony, even mentioned in Bobby's goodbye 😭, and the hospital). It's safe to say that tommy is like no other love interest. And buck already knows/feels that much. We only need the little nudge that makes him go: "yes, he's is the one for me". Could be in the hospital scene, could be not.

But the desperation is felt and REAL, like it's our last chance to get any substantial bt scenes to live off during the hiatus. It's gonna be wild out there

Anon, we were given a FEAST at the start of this season. The soft conversations, the chin grabs, the promise of something more beginning to blossom???? We had everything we wanted in the start of their relationship. The queer awakening of Buck was given so much attention and screen time (as it should) and, once the storyline focused on other characters (as it also should because this isn’t just the Buck show), we had to make do with small interactions and background scenes. But oh my, what we were given to begin with was almost too good to be true. It was such an authentic start to a relationship. The chemistry, awkwardness, earnestness, and desire was so amazing to witness because it felt so real and lasting. And it’s created such a believable couple that we’re still here, even though we’ve basically had nothing else to go off of since the kiss in the hospital.

It absolutely makes sense that people are saying it doesn’t feel like we’ve been shown enough of an established relationship because we were given so much of the start of the relationship. There seems to be a disconnect now where, if people aren’t shown it, then it just doesn’t exist. I don’t agree with it, but I understand why some fans are upset or are claiming it’s not there.

And, because this fandom is amazing, we’ve thought of all the scenes and interactions we want to see. Just look at A03 for the sheer untapped potential of Tevan content. But we’re not getting them because this show already has so much to showcase. RIP Hen and Tommy discussion scene, RIP Hen and Buck heart-to-heart over Buck’s newly discovered bisexual identity.

I completely agree that Tim is doing his best to give everyone equal screen time. We already know he’s returned from his Lone Star vacation with a determination to bring Buck back to former glory and I think the journey he’s on now is going to be incredible to witness. Tim is laying a foundation for Tevan in a way that isn’t monopolizing the screen (which we know Buddie fans would also complain about if that were happening) and he’s giving us just enough crumbs to keep us fed. The scenes you highlighted are so important and it’s weaving Tommy into the fabric of the 118. You’re so right that it’s unlike any other love interest. Taylor was there but we know she was there for the stories and the exploitation. Tommy is there for Buck.

Depending on what we get next episode for the finale this hiatus is going to be so wild. If we’re lucky, we’ll get some truly sweet moments between Tommy and Buck. If we’re not lucky, Tommy will only be there briefly (or maybe even only mentioned) and we’ll have to rely on fanfics to sustain us with codas and AUs.

Either way, what a way to go.

#I have a post in my drafts that I’m hesitant to post about all the ships I have that have less canon support than Tevan #but more fandom support #but I don’t want to out my ships like that lmaoooo #even though I think it’s insane that this ship is getting razzed on for not showing enough to be valid #when there are insanely popular ships out there where the characters barely interact #for now I’ll just enjoy answering these asks #keep them coming bby #911 abc #911 spoilers #911 speculation #Tevan #bucktommy #kinley #tommy kinard #evan buckley #evan buck buckely

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hvneybuckin · 16 hours

Text

tashi duncan (mentions art donaldson & patrick zweig.)

afab!reader, stanford!tashi, stanford!reader, tashi records during the act, it's implied that she's sending the recording to artpatrick, strap-ons, artpatrick have a thing for you and tashi knows it

18+. mdni

690 words

from aiden — this one is for my lovely gal kaia @kisses4kaia !! if not for her this one would have never came to fruition 😌

Competition is a big part of tennis, and tennis is Tashi’s life— so it’s no surprise that she’s a sucker for, well…competition.

Almost everything she does has some kind of competitive undertone to it. ‘Everything’ including you.

It wasn’t that hard to get you hooked (really, it wasn’t), and she did it right under Art and Patrick’s noses.

Their liking for you was obvious, obvious enough for her to catch on to it the moment they walked up to you. The way they’d constantly interrupt each other to get your attention. Patrick’s poor excuses of flirting, Art’s rambling about how he admires your technique— all of which to be expected from the pair. However, what really interested her was you.

So much so that after they walked away, Tashi quickly took their place. “They’re annoying, I know.”

“Who, Patrick and Art?” You look towards the direction they walked with a shrug, “I dunno. They’re cute, though.” She nods in response.

It’s not like she can deny it.

“You’re Tashi, right? Tashi Duncan?” She nods for the second time, you making yourself familiar in return.

After that, the two of you never really stopped talking. Of course, you were close with Art and Patrick — annoying as they were —, but you and Tashi were kind of inseparable.

Even when Patrick makes some gross remark, saying that he “wouldn’t be surprised if you guys had fucked.”

You unfortunately miss Tashi’s grin afterwards, her expression hidden behind the shared can of beer the four of you passed around.

And of course, once it’s just you two in your dorm, you don’t shut up about it. Not because it’s been on your mind ever since Patrick said it, definitely not because thinking about it has you making a mess of your panties.

No, never that.

Only because— “It was so absurd! He’s such a weirdo sometimes, I swear.” Tashi doesn’t speak, but instead shrugs, her legs held close to her chest. She gives you a look, one that you could recognize anywhere.

“…What?”

“Hm?”

“Tash. I know that look. Tell me what you’re thinking about.” She giggles with a slight shake of her head. It’s obvious that whatever’s on her mind, she’s hesitant to make it known.

“I’m not thinking about anything. Just— I mean… would it really be that big of a deal if we did? Fuck, I mean.”

You respond with blinks. And then you realize exactly what Tashi had just said.

“No. It wouldn’t be, I don’t think so.”

“I don’t think so, either.”

And so, it isn’t. It’s not a big deal when you’re both sitting there in silence. It’s not a big deal when she moves forward to kiss you, your back hitting the roughness of the carpeted floor.

However, once her dick – albeit fake – is buried in you, you begin to think that this might be larger than the two of you anticipated.

Can you even be bothered to care when she’s fucking you this good, though?

In fact, it doesn’t even concern you that she’s recording the entire thing on her old flip phone.

“Who’s got you this wet, huh?”

You should have known she was gonna say some snarky shit like this, but a pathetic whine slips past your swollen lips nevertheless, Tashi’s own curling into a cruel grin.

“You. Only you, Tash, promise!”

She hums in response, her strap (that you didn’t even know she had until she dug it out of her closet) forcing a plethora of mewls out of you.

“Yeah? Not even Art? Or Patrick?” You swiftly shake your head no— the action contradicting how you let out an exceptionally lewd moan at the mention of the two boys.

Tashi snickers. She knows that they’ll probably replay that part a couple hundred times.

“Uh-huh. You’re mine now, right, baby?”

You mindlessly nod in agreement, barely even processing what she had said.

“Yeah, you are. Smile for the camera, say hi to ‘em.” You know exactly who Tashi’s referring to.

And still, for some reason, you do as she says. You look at the phone in her hand, and fucking wave.

#𐚁 — aiden writes: tashi duncan.#tashi duncan smut #tashi duncan x reader #tashi duncan x you #tashi donaldson smut #tashi donaldson #tashi duncan

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deus-ex-mona · 22 hours

Text

just a tl of lxl's tv guide interview~

Q1: First off, please introduce yourselves!

Aizo: It’s nice to meet you guys! I’m Aizo.

Yujiro: And I’m Yujiro! The two of us make up the idol unit of LIPxLIP.

Aizo: We sing with all we’ve got to bring happiness to our listeners.

Yujiro: We’ve released many MVs as well, so please check them out as well.

Aizo: We also give it our all when we’re shooting our MVs, so you’ll be able to see us being all cool in them!

Yujiro: That sure is a lot of “all”s that we’ve given, Aizo.

Aizo: That’s cuz I really give it my all in everything we do. You do the same, right?

Yujiro: Of course I do. There isn’t a single day when I’m not giving it my all.

Aizo: See? You look calm and composed most of the time, but you’re actually a pretty passionate guy, huh?

Yujiro: It’s because you’re always giving it your all that I feel like I can’t lose either.

Aizo: There it is, your tendency of hating to lose.

Yujiro: Well, we both hate to lose, don’t we?

Aizo: But, Yujiro, you’re able to do everything so easily without seeming bothered by the thought of falling behind, which never fails to surprise me every time.

Yujiro: I guess you’re the opposite of me in that regard, Aizo. You’re a straightforward open book. I think that any onlooker will be able to tell how much you love singing and how much fun you’re having at work.

Aizo: Eh? Do I really look like I’m having that much fun?

Yujiro: You’re always excited when we’re on site. But, Aizo, you’re actually surprisingly calm and even more observant of your surroundings than I am of mine. Even when I’m distressed, you’re the one who notices it faster than anyone else, Aizo…

Aizo: I’ve told you that you should ask for help when you’re troubled, but you really can’t be honest, huh? (laughs)

Yujiro: …Right now, I’m troubled by you and the way you’re smirking at me, Aizo.

Q2: What was the response to your 2nd Album “Be Grateful You Were Born!” like?

Aizo: Since this was our first album in a long time, we have received a lot of responses from our Julieta (what they call their fans) who have been anticipating its release. We’re really happy that it brought joy to them.

Yujiro: We had performed “White Day Kiss” live, so there were many Julieta who were looking forward to its album release too.

Aizo: Also, Narumi (Sena) who starred in the MV for “Julieta”, the sequel to “Romeo” from our previous album, congratulated us too. She said that she’ll recommend the album to her friends as well, which I appreciate!

Yujiro: I will be really happy if people who don’t know of us yet can get to know and support us through this album.

Aizo: We’ll continue to work hard as LIPxLIP with all we’ve got, so please root for us!

Q3: What were the challenges that you faced with this album?

Aizo: Well, it’s more like we faced so many new challenges that I don’t know where to start. (laughs)

Yujiro: In terms of the mood of the songs, I think “Meoto” with its Japanese taste and the Arabian-esque “A.B.Secret” have a very new feel to them compared to our other songs as LIPxLIP.

Aizo: We changed the way we sang to suit each and every song too, so I think we were able to show you new sides of us. For “Meoto”, I was conscious of the way I sang to fit the role I played in the setting of the song, and for “A.B.Secret”, there was that rap-like dialogue.

Yujiro: You may be surprised by the difference in intensity if you listen to “Oshi no Mahou” and “Yurushite Santa-san” after those songs. (laughs)

Aizo: With the “LOVE chu chu”s and the “Please, Santa-san”s, right? I’ll be thrilled if you can feel not just our coolness, but also our cuteness as idols! But… even though I was the one who said all that I’m starting to feel embarrassed.

Q4: The album has songs that would be a hit at live concerts, such as “Oshi no Mahou”, with its fun call-and-response bits.

Aizo: It goes without say that I definitely want to do the call and response with our Julieta!

Yujiro: Same here. I’ll be happy if everyone memorised it and came to watch us perform when that day comes.

Aizo: It’ll be super fun, right?! I’m looking forward to hyping up the venue and making it echo with all our voices.

Yujiro: Is there anything else that you’d like to do during the performance?

Aizo: Hmm, well… Maybe we’ll make a Möbius loop together with the audience… wait, the ideas won’t stop flowing if we carry on like this. (laughs)

Yujiro: Yeah, you’re right. (laughs) Let’s leave the details of the performance as something that our audience can look forward to when the time comes.

Q5: Tell us the secret stories behind the shootings of your MVs!

Aizo: I had a feeling when I heard Yujiro sing “Anata” in his lines in “Meoto”... But I was still surprised when I found out that Yujiro was dressed up in the role of a girl during the MV shooting. But, y’know, it suited you amazingly~. The air your makeup gave off was also different from how it’s like during our usual jacket photoshoots and live concerts, so I was a little charmed by you (laughs).

Yujiro: Thanks. Although I played the role of a woman this time, the costume I wore was a fantastical gorgeous kimono, within a unique setting, so it was easy for me to get into my role without feeling uncomfortable.

Aizo: I really didn’t feel uncomfortable at all either.

Yujiro: You looked good in your bewitching horned costume yourself, Aizo. It brought out your coolness, and you looked strong too.

Aizo: Right?! I was really pumped with all of the manly accessories like the horns, the mask, and the patterns drawn on my body.

Yujiro: Your long sharp nails suited you too. And in the MV, there’s a scene where the pair, played by me and Aizo, open their hearts to each other and hold hands while standing shoulder to shoulder. Be sure to pay attention to the contrast between our hands, okay?

Aizo: Speaking of the shooting, when I was hugging Yujiro during the filming of that shoulder to shoulder scene, I could smell a wonderful fragrance coming off of him. I was really surprised at the time, y’know? (laughs) “He smells so good!” I thought.

Yujiro: The staff had prepared some perfume for me. Although the fragrance can’t be conveyed through the screen, they had hoped to enhance the vividness of the setting for the viewers by having me wear the perfume as we filmed. I thought that it was a wonderful idea, so I had the staff apply the perfume to my costume.

Aizo: For “A.B.Secret”, we filmed a live concert called “Arabian Nights in the Dunes”, which was yet another tough day. (laughs)

Yujiro: To be honest, we got lost on the way to the venue, so we had to cross several dunes.

Aizo: We may look all nonchalant in the MV, but we’d used quite a lot of our stamina. I’m just glad that we were able to make it to the venue in one piece…

Yujiro: But we were treated to a lot of wonderful food after our performance, so I’d say that it had been a very satisfying day.

Q6: Since this is a TV guide… What TV programmes do the two of you tend to watch?

Yujiro: I watch all kinds of shows, but I tend to watch talk shows often. I think that it’s great that I’m able to learn about current events from all over the world in the form of an entertaining programme, no less.

Aizo: You don’t just check the news or something? You sure are a diligent one, Yujiro.

Yujiro: I watch talk shows just because they’re interesting. If I just want to know the news, I wouldn’t particularly watch a talk show for it.

Aizo: I watch them every so often myself, but I only watch the segments that introduce restaurants that serve good food or amusement park events.

Yujiro: I see. You watch TV too, Aizo? I had the impression that you’d be often off running outside or something instead.

Aizo: Well, I do watch TV, y’know? I like watching programmes hosted by their namesake comedians. And I check out singing programmes without fail.

Yujiro: Yeah, I watch music programmes often too.

Aizo: It goes without say that I check out my favourite bands and artistes too, but I have to know what the current trends are on the rankings! As idols, we can’t afford to lose to others and all.

Yujiro: Though, I do occasionally get hooked on particular trends just from checking them out. (laughs)

Q7: Going off the name of your album, please express your gratitude for each other and your Julieta!

Yujiro: Do you even have anything to be grateful to me for…?

Aizo: Yeah. I’m grateful to always have you as a nice wall for a rival.

Yujiro: A nice wall? Is that supposed to be a compliment?

Aizo: Yes, it’s a compliment. For example, I do pretty well in my studies and sports at school, but when I look at you, Yujiro, I find myself thinking that I can’t be satisfied with the way things are yet. I’m able to grow steadily because I have you as my literal worthy opponent.

Yujiro: You’re really grateful to me, huh?

Aizo: Well, since we have the opportunity now, why not? How about you? You’re not gonna say that you have nothing, are you?

Yujiro: Yeah. I have something too.

Aizo: Ooh, what is it, what is it?

Yujiro: There has been a lot of pollen in the air lately. So, when I sneezed, you immediately gave me some pocket tissue, the soft kind. You really saved me back then, so I’m grateful to you.

Aizo: Is that simple thing all you’re grateful for…?

Yujiro: Sorry, I was just kidding. (laughs) As I had touched on in an earlier question, whenever I’m depressed or distressed, you’re the first one to notice, Aizo. I tend to overthink all kinds of things, but you always make my worries disappear. So I’m always grateful to you for that, Aizo.

Aizo: Huh, so you do have a proper one after all.

Yujiro: It’s embarrassing to be this honest, so let’s keep this between us, okay?

Aizo: It’d be nice if you could be honest all the time, though.

Yujiro: More importantly, we have to honestly express our gratitude for our Julieta.

Aizo: Yeah. We’re more grateful to our Julieta than anything.

Yujiro: Thank you so much for cheering us on, Julieta.

Aizo: We were only able to release our new album thanks to your support, Julieta. We are able to continue on as LIPxLIP thanks to every one of you who listens to our songs, buys our albums, and sends us your thoughts and cheers.

Yujiro: Julieta, I’m grateful to you from the bottom of my heart. Also, I’d like to express my gratitude that you were born in this era and that you and us were able to meet like this.

Aizo: We will continue to do our very best so that we can return the love that we have received from you, Julieta, many times over.

Both: Please cheer us on!

Q8: What was your first trip together like?

Aizo: There were some pranks, and there were times when I felt exasperated, but it was truly a ton of fun!

Yujiro: We haven’t had many opportunities to go on a trip till now, so it was a really great experience for us.

Aizo: We got to see many places, plus thanks to the fact that we were in charge of the voiceover for the Izumo guided tour, we had a good knowledge about the places of interest and we were able to enjoy ourselves to the fullest.

Yujiro: I especially liked the footbaths. When I dipped my feet into the footbath after a tiring walk, I was truly impressed by how much it helped to relieve my fatigue.

Aizo: It’s amazing how it completely warmed your feet up, huh?

Yujiro: Yeah, its healing properties are amazing.

Aizo: No, y’see, your feet were flushed pink from the warmth of the water in the footbath after soaking in it for a while. When you took your feet out of the hot water, saying “It’s hot.”, it looked like you were wearing pink socks, which I found rather funny.

Yujiro: …If you want to bring that up, should I release that video of you scooting around on your butt to grab a towel with your legs raised up in the air because you had nowhere to put your wet feet?

Aizo: When did you even take that video…?

#lipxlip #lxl tl things #please feel free to correct me if i made any mistakes (grammatical or otherwise)!!!!!#some of the questions were soooooo long... so i might have missed some qc checks lol sadge #queuing this up for a few hours from now a n d ok gn guys~~~~~ (it's 5.23 in the am) dream of lxl tonight~~~?#remind me to do that other magazine interview from 2k22 some time lmao not now though im tiredddd

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