#this isn't a jedi survivor spoiler

[fwtcanimelover]

Unpopular opinion

But I don't actually want Cal Kestis to fall to the darkside. Struggle with it sure (in a way that doesn't get any of his loved ones hurt), but I still want him to remain a good guy. Like I'm glad he is still a great guy, it's just for the third game that I'm a little nervous for and want them to have a happy ending in the third game.

[jyn-andors]

This has probably already been said, but considering Cal is now working with the Hidden Path, does that mean he met Quinlan Vos at some point?

Because can you imagine how funny Quinlan’s reaction to Cal and Merrin would be?

Cal: Master Vos! It’s an honour to meet you! This is Merrin. She’s my girlfriend :) Quinlan: Girlfriend?? That’s not very Jedi of you- *sees Merrin is a Nightsister* Ah nvm bro, I completely understand.

[hmslusitania]

Y'all remember the biomes meme?

[shuunnico]

Star Wars: Jedi Survivor Stuff

This is not the review. Yet. It’s coming.

Someone was nice enough to buy me Jedi Survivor and I was able to get it to run on my computer. I’m going to do a review of it, but there’s a number of things in the game that I’m not a fan of that doesn’t actually impact the game at all.

Most of these are spoilers, so I’ll be putting a spoiler down below. Mostly these are things that I dislike being introduced/retconned into Star Wars from Disney. Mostly, this is an excuse for me to bring these up now because they won’t be in my actual review. My dislike for the lore changes doesn’t hurt the game at all.

Spoilers below:

Lightsaber Crystals and Bleeding

I really don’t like the change Disney made to kyber crystals. Originally, the lightsaber crystal colors were symbolic, with each color denoting a particular office or honor. Red lightsabers were red because synthetic crystals typically came out red and sith preferred the (arguably) stronger synthetic ones.

Now? Kyber crystals are empathic, borderline sentient, and lightsabers have a will of their own. The color of a lightsaber is now a definitive statement about the character of the person wielding it. Lightsabers will ‘fight’ wielders who it doesn’t align with.

Sith lightsabers are red now because kyber crystals are self aware and will resist being used for evil. So a sith has to force the crystal into submission, which turns it red.

So now, evil people just get a red lightsaber because they’re evil. I despise this change because it makes lightsaber colors prescriptive. Sith use red because they’re evil. Good Jedi will use non-red lightsabers because they’re good.

Of course, this all flies in the face of the originals idea. Anakin’s lightsaber didn’t bleed when he was off murdering children because this was never intended as a thing. So now Disney has to convolute a reason why.

I don’t know why Disney wrote it like this. My only theory is that they just enforced the meta. Sith are evil and use red lightsabers, so all sith must use red lightsabers, so all red lightsabers must be evil.

Inquisitor Lightsabers

Enough of these. Every time I see these, they get mocked. 

How do they work? Why do you have them spin? In what way do these function in any way better than a double ended lightsaber? Everyone who saw these initially though the same thing: “Why not stick your weapon into the center?” and that’s exactly what Kanan did in Rebels at the first chance he got.

How do these let you fight better? All the spinning blades do is be a liability for you to accidentally cut your own limbs off. They don’t make the lightsabers hit harder, you have to constantly reposition the blade at awkward angles if you want to spin it and they’re full of design weaknesses.

What’s worse is that Disney is clearly doubling down on this stupid design because Ninth Sister wields one in Jedi Survivor. And, what’s worse, is they’re doubling down on the fact that they let you fly. How does rotating a lightsaber make it function like helicopter blades, allowing you to fly/float?

Crossguard Lightsabers

I hated this design from the start. Someone wanted to make a ‘western’ style lightsaber and didn’t think beyond that. Now, Disney has to keep pushing them, like there’s some creative sunk cost fallacy going on here.

It makes no intuitive sense why a weightless blade has more ‘mass’ and be ‘heavier’. The vents do not operate like actual crossguards and, in fact, become a liability.

Disney is trying to retcon these into lore through The High Republic, where these were not only around, but common. From 600-100 years before the prequels, crossguard lightsabers were a thing, but then they disappear entirely until Kylo Ren decides to make one.

They didn’t exist because they were never intended to exist. Lightsabers were always intended to be elegant, katana-esque weapons. But because someone wanted to put in their cool, OC weapon into TFA, now we have to deal with them always being a thing.

Tracking Fobs

Originally introduced in Mandalorian. These things, apparently, use biometric data to track people across the galaxy. Why? Why did they put these into the canon? You plug in someone’s biometric data and now you can chase them anywhere?

These are absolutely terrible for world building because now you need to contrive a reason why someone CAN’T be tracked by one of these things. This has to be a case of “This will speed up the episode” and then nobody thought about the greater implications of one of these devices.

The High Republic

Disney is basically pulling a “Rings of Power” with the High Republic era. They’ve created a time period with no canon so they can play in it, free of any of the restrictions put into the universe by any other aspect of the franchise.

In the old lore, The Old Republic was around from 25,000 to 1000 years before The Empire. While this period had advanced technology and (in particular with the Sith) advanced blending of The Force and technology, this period ended up stagnating and declining.

In the new lore, after The Old Republic, there was a golden age called “The High Republic” that is full of advanced technology. This period only ended 100 years before the events of the Clone Wars.

Previously, it was understandable that advanced technology might end up being forgotten and buried, 1000 years ago. But the High Republic is within living memory. Why is it that it’s treated like some lost era of technology when you had people like Yoda and Dooku alive during that time?

Again, this seems mostly so that Disney has a random place in the timeline so they can do whatever they want and grandfather in whatever force powers, lore or technology they can for future use. It doesn’t make sense from a timeline perspective.

[azems-familiar]

at @dream-of-tanalorr's behest... i bestow upon you all a short snippet from the first chapter of the Inquisitor Cal fic we were talking about yesterday. :)

“Cere,” he chokes out, and his cheeks are dry despite the sobs tearing through him, his chest heaving even though that sends spikes of hot pain through him with every awful breath, he can’t stop crying (and there should be tears but he can’t feel any fall, his eyes burning with the effort, and he’s reminded distantly of the horrible thirst he can’t shake) - he hadn’t felt her die, he hadn’t, and he reaches for her pulse point again but his hands are shaking so badly he can’t feel it. His head aches with the threat of an impending migraine if he keeps pushing his Force connection, but he needs to know - he needs to know - so he presses his forehead to hers and stretches out his senses, gritting his teeth against the way the throbbing in his head intensifies as he does, and-

All he can feel is darkness. Oily and thick and clinging, dragging him in and in and in, that same heavy inevitability of gravity as in Cere’s vision, and Cal knows, before he lifts his head, before he hears the first modulated breath, what he’ll see when he looks up. He looks up anyway, because he has to, tears still choking his throat, ash sticking to his cheeks and in his hair.

Darth Vader stands before him, mere feet away, aura radiating outwards in a wave of ice-cold oblivion. His suit has been repaired, his breathing is even and steady, he doesn’t even look like anything happened to him, and Cere is dead on the floor, dead in Cal’s arms like it was all for nothing at all, and Trilla died, and Prauf died, and Gabs and Bravo and the twins - and all the horrible, twisting grief in Cal’s chest surges into anger, as hot as the now-smothered fires and twice as deadly. (Bode did this. Bode did this. But Vader killed Cere, and Vader is in front of him now, has always been here when things have been at their worst, Vader killed the Jedi-)

He snarls and shoves upright, ignoring the way the world spins around him, and grabs his saberstaff off his belt, twisting it into two hilts and lunging forward. White light spills out from the emitters as he ignites the blades, cutting them both at Vader’s chest, and the Sith barely even seems to move but there’s the hiss-crack of a lightsaber igniting and then Vader’s lurid red blade is blocking both Cal’s strikes with a quick flicking motion. Vader brings his free hand up, the Force gathering around him, and Cal doesn’t have the energy to counter the push, can barely even brace himself as he’s flung back into the comms console with enough force he hears something crack in his back. Pain flares along his spine and he sucks in a sharp gasp, which just makes it worse, his ribs violently protesting the movement - he straightens anyway, does his best to swallow the nausea, though his mouth is as dry as the desert outside, and raises his sabers in hands that shake like leaves in the wind. He can’t steady them.

“A futile effort,” Vader says, and Cal bares his teeth and attacks again - and this time Vader doesn’t even use his saber, just steps out of the way of the first strike and blocks the second with nothing but the Force, which hits hard enough to send Cal staggering back a step, teeth rattling against each other.

He sucks in another breath - the pain doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter - and spits blood onto the ground. “You killed Cere. The Anchorites, the refugees in this base - the Order - your own Inquisitors. Someone has to avenge their deaths.”

“Revenge is not the Jedi way,” Vader says, and brings his saber down in a heavy overhead blow. Cal barely has time to bring his sabers up to catch it, and his arms burn with the effort as the Sith pushes down on him, still only using one hand, the Force twisting around him in unimpressed derision. “Or did your master fail you in that way as well?”

[gil-estel]

on a doylist level, I know that the difference in NPC interaction between jfo and js has more to do with game dev, but it has a really profound metatextual impact as well. something that really struck me about jfo is how lonely and isolated it feels to play (especially since I was alternating btw it and tw3 at the time), which is really reflective of how Cal himself is experiencing the world. Sure, there's Cere and Greez and Merrin, but Cal is still processing his trauma and hasn't fully opened himself up to them yet. Already just on Koboh it feels way less empty and that really helps get across how Cal is just in a totally different place now when it comes to forging connections.

[thisisthegay]

Beyond the window, the planet stood out amidst the nebula behind it: a dusty green-brown against swirling orange and purple stardust.

Koboh.

How quaint.

The Empire had maintained a presence on the rock for over a decade, a single star destroyer in orbit to shadow fear down on the planet’s meager population. To think, it had been under their noses the entire time — the end of the rebellious string that had managed to evade the Empire’s grasp for years. And he was at the heart of it all.

A chuckle escaped the woman. Long fingers waved through the blue image of a bounty puck, disappearing the face that stared up at her with cold eyes. It had been years; the Empire had marked the troublesome jedi as dead and wiped their hands clean of the issue. She wondered if he still looked the same. It would not matter much, regardless; it was a hard thing to mask — the flame of orange hair and two long-healed blaster scars that every bounty hunter worth their salt knew by heart. And that distinct air of jedi self-righteousness. Finding him would not be hard, no. All she had to do was wait for the prey to walk into her grasp. No, the hard part would be the capture, the kill.

And oh, how she loved a good chase.

-----

The prologue and first chapter of my Rebels/Jedi: Survivor fic are up over on AO3!

[kanerallels]

Okay I lied I have so many thoughts about Bode Akuna but I can't express any of them

[stealingpotatoes]

Last week I finished star wars jedi survivor. Let me tell you something. In the third game, if something bad happens to Kata or they kill another member of the crew, I'm gonna lose it.

Kata is the cutest kid ever and is already deeply traumatized. And guess who else is also deeply traumatized? I am, by watching Cere dying (even though I already knew it would happen because I accidently read some spoilers).

So the next game better be just cal and merrin exploring planets with their little family.

LITERALLY, if jedi 3 isn't just "Animal Crossing: Tanalorr Edition" then I will be personally forwarding my therapy bill to Respawn.

[morkhan]

Jedi Survivor impressed me so, so much. I loved Fallen Order, but I genuinely feel like Survivor was on another level. A few things I loved, full game spoilers ahead...

Cal genuinely feels so much older and more mature. It's incredible how much his interactions with the Mantis crew feel like a wayward adult son coming home again after a long time away.

Cal and Merrin's romance was beautifully built up and paid off, felt totally natural. Importantly for me, it required both of them to move the needle; Merrin to definitively make the first move and let Cal know she wants him, and Cal to finally acknowledge that he wants her too, that he isn't really a Jedi and that they weren't right about everything.

Cal using the Dark Side is portrayed as dangerous, but not inherently evil. The game does not vilify or punish Cal for using it, in fact, it does the opposite; it essentially says that it was necessary for Cal to embrace his darkness in order for him to survive. Importantly, it shows that even the darkness can be controlled; when Cal first uses it on Nova Garon, he nearly loses himself in it, but Merrin calls him back. When he uses it again on Tanalorr, he is in complete control of it, calmly using it to lift Bode off of him and partially disarming him before letting it subside. Merrin's final monologue to Kata in the ending says it all; your pain, your loss, it will always be a part of you. But it doesn't have to define you. Both Dagan and Bode let their pain and loss consume their entire lives, and it led directly to their respective ends.

When Cal kills Bode, he does so quietly and with no anger, and only after offering him multiple chances to surrender, all of which he rejected violently. Cal killed Bode not out of vengeance, but because it was clear that Bode was beyond reason. He was never going to stop. He was never going to accept any outcome other than the one that he had decided was best. And even then, Cal quietly takes a moment alone to mourn him, and respectfully gives him a Jedi funeral alongside his two mentors.

The entire final chapter is such a beautiful contrast to the first game's. Fallen Order had you storming Fortress Inquisitorious, fighting hoards of the game's hardest enemies and concluded with a bombastic escape sequence. The atmosphere was alternately oppressive, tense and exciting, full of mechanical reds and blacks. Tanalorr is the complete opposite; it is quiet and calm, an organic place of white rocks and blue plants. There are no enemies there other than Bode, a man whose paranoia has isolated him from everyone in his life, including the daughter he supposedly loves so much. When you find him, he is not even with her. When you beat him, there is no bombast. This is not a victory to be celebrated; it is a tragedy, one that you tried to avoid, but was seemingly inevitable.

"Ghost Star," the lullaby you hear Kata singing as you approach the final battle, is so stunningly beautiful and thematically appropriate that I am appalled there wasn't a full orchestral version of it playing over the credits.

So yeah, there's probably some other stuff I'll post about later, but man, Survivor really kinda blew me away.

[goosewriting]

Across the Galaxy and Beyond

summary: some time after the Mantis crew split apart, Cal has an unexpected reunion with reader on Koboh

relationship: Cal Kestis x gn!reader

warnings: spoilers for Jedi Survivor, vague-ish mention of events from the Battle Scars book but i don't think it counts as a spoiler, hurt & comfort, flashbacks, kissing

word count: 8.9k 👀💧 ...i am unwell about this man what can i say

A/N: started writing this when i first started jedi survivor, and finally got around to finishing it now that i finished reading battle scars and the cal kestis brainworms are attacking me again. story doesn't follow the game exactly. also this could be read as a separate story from my wherever you go, i go trilogy, but i like to think it's the same reader and timeline lol so go read that if you haven't c:

Navigation: Part 1 (you’re here!) | Part 2 (wip)

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — — Part 1: Just like old times

After Cal's escape from Coruscant, the Mantis was pretty shredded. The main problem was the gyro, but upon entering Koboh's atmosphere, all systems started failing and the Jedi had to make an emergency landing somewhere on some cliffs. 

It took a lot of climbing and wall-jumping and fighting the aggressive local fauna, but after a couple of hours, Cal and BD finally made it to the outpost where Greez' cantina was located. On the way there he also encountered bandits who called themselves the Bedlam Raiders, as well as old Separatists battleships and battle droids, of all things. Just what has Greez got himself into?, Cal thinks to himself after saving a local from Rayvis, the leader of the Raiders, and outing himself as a Jedi in the process.

When Cal and BD finally enter Pyloon's Saloon, they meet with Greez. Since the Raiders have just been at the saloon (and the place doesn't look all too inviting either), there are no customers, so Cal and Greez catch up at the bar. The Latero is extremely happy to see the boy and his droid in one piece after all this time. Over a drink, the redhead tells him about the last job on Coruscant gone wrong, how only two of them made it out. He expresses his frustration, how the Empire is only growing stronger and everything he does feels pointless. Things haven't been easy since the Mantis crew split up. 

After catching up a little, Greez tells Cal that he has some spare parts and will take care of the ship. He'll send someone to bring the ship to the landing dock behind the saloon. In the meantime, he should take a breather and explore the outpost. Cal doesn't like feeling like he's wasting time, but with the state the Mantis is in, there really isn't much else he can do. 

The Latero shows him the room in the basement, telling Cal he can stay as long as he needs. Greez wasn't kidding when he said he had a room just for Cal: there was a meditation area in the middle of the round room, and even his old clothes and some unfinished tech projects were all stashed away in a big chest. 

They both sit down on the edge of the bed, and it doesn't take long for the conversation to take a direction Cal doesn't like. Not because what Greez is saying is wrong; on the contrary, he's probably right, but the redhead doesn't want to hear it. Not right now. Greez, in a genuinely concerned tone, goes on about how the game is rigged and Cal should walk away while he can, maybe even settle down somewhere. Cal lashes out for a moment, claiming someone has to keep fighting.

— — —

You approach the stable in the outpost riding on your nekko, humming a happy tune to yourself. You're lost in thought, letting your trusty mount walk the last stretch to the stalls by himself, as he knew the way. Once you reach the structure, you get off and start putting away your haul; you just came from a successful hunt. You'd skin and prepare everything later though, so you pack the preys away in special boxes where everything would be preserved for a couple of days. 

“Hello master,” a robotic yet chirpy voice greets you. 

You turn around with a smile, facing the Separatist battle droid you had found and reprogrammed to help you out at the stable.

“Hey there, Connor,” you greet back. You've told him several times not to call you that, but he insisted, saying you saved him and now his purpose was to serve you. You take a moment to inspect his blue and black markings that have started chipping more noticeably; maybe it's time for a new paint job.

“Did I miss anything while I was gone?” you ask, taking the saddle off your nekko and placing it onto the designated wooden beam. 

“Yes, in fact,” Connor replies, placing new food and clean water in the trough. “There's a ship on the landing pad behind the saloon that I've never seen before.”

“Is that so? What kinda ship?” 

“A modified S-161 Stinger, and it's pretty busted up. I'm surprised it even made it this far.”

You stop in your tracks, your grip tightening around the halter you just took off the nekko, which is now happily munching away on its fresh feed.

“Interesting,” you remark, putting the rest of the equipment away and turning around to face the droid. Since you spent most of the day down in some caves, you didn't see or hear anything. “Do you know who was on board?”

“I didn't see who came off the ship, but I overheard some prospectors talk about a newcomer that went one on one with Rayvis,” Connor comments, then leans in closer to you, looking around as if to make sure no one would be listening in on your conversations, when it's clearly just the two of you at the stable. “I also heard Turgle mentioning a Jedi being seen around here.”

“Huh,” is all you manage to say, feeling your heart pounding in your chest. There was no way he was here, right? After all this time? As far as you know, he doesn't even know you're here. So if it is him, he isn't here to see you, but Greez instead. It's probably because of the Mantis; Cal is in need of repairs. This thought immediately replaces the initial anticipation with a strange, cold feeling. 

“Can you believe it?” Connor goes on. “I've never even seen a Jedi. I would love to meet them.”

You take a long look at the droid, remembering the state you had found him in. He had never been in the war, actually. He spent several years in an abandoned Separatist camp, never even getting to be activated. So he only knew his programming: serve the Separatists, fight the clones and kill the Jedi. Yet he had never lived any of it. Reprogramming him had been easy in that regard, as his memory banks were mostly blank. Back then you were looking for a droid companion to help you out at the stables, and even though you know what battle droids mean to the Jedi, you can't help but think that they are kinda cute. The B1 models, at least. The B2 series and commandos are pretty scary. 

So you gave your new friend a name (you couldn't decide between Hank and Connor, but decided to go with the latter as it somehow suited his demeanour better) and a new purpose in life, and he seems content with that. The only fighting program you left in him is for defending the stable and nekkos. First and foremost it is his mission that they are not harmed. You also ordered him not to leave the outpost, for his own safety. You don't want the raiders to find him and get access to his memory bank. They would use the information against all of you at the outpost, and either scrap him or reprogram him to join the raiders. Once they were dealt with, however, you promised Connor you would take him around Koboh first, then show him the galaxy. 

“I'm going to the saloon,” you announce. “Can you take care of the rest?” 

“Roger roger!” Connor replies with a salute, getting to work. 

You find yourself smoothing out your clothes and hair as you make the short trip to the saloon. When you reach the bar you're met with Monk, the witty bartender droid. He greets you with a happy tone and some strange phrase that you don't entirely understand, as he always does. You ask for Greez, and he points towards the door to the side, saying he's in the basement with some old friend of his that just dropped by.

With a gulp and a forced smile, you thank him and head down the stairs. The urge to turn on your heel and run away grows with every step. As you're about to reach the door, you hear voices coming from the other side.

“-to be something more than a lightsaber.” That's Greez, you think. He sounds… sad? “Think of yourself. Settle down, find a home.”

“What home, Greez?” You swear your heart actually stops beating and accelerates at the same time when you hear the voice, his voice. “There is no home. Home was the Order. It was my teacher.”

You've stopped a couple steps away from the door so it wouldn't open and have you interrupt the conversation, but you involuntarily lean forward to hear better what Cal says next.

“It was everyone I lost… Home was the Mantis with you, Cere, Merrin, and–”

The automatic door whooshes open and Cal and Greez turn their heads towards you as they stand up from the bed they were sitting on. 

“I- I didn't mean to eavesdrop,” you sheepishly state after a moment of uncomfortable silence from everyone, approaching him but staying at a distance. “Hey, Cal. It's been a while.”

“Yeah, it has,” he retorts, and you can't really read the tone of his voice. 

You look each other up and down, taking in how different you both look since… Since the last time you saw each other. Since you split up. 

A thousand thoughts go through your head, and a thousand different feelings resurface, making your heart tighten in your chest, like there isn't enough space for everything it's trying to process.

Greez can't take the tension anymore, so he clears his throat loudly.

“Lemme show you something, Cal,” the Latero says as he walks towards a panel on the far side of the room. He presses a couple of buttons and a section of the wall slides open with a creak, revealing a path behind it. “This is an old smuggler's tunnel, you'll find spare parts in there. Just… be careful, I have a pest problem.”

With that, Greez walks by both of you, giving your arm an encouraging pat, before leaving the room. It's just you and Cal now.

“Spare parts?” you ask, trying to make some conversation. “For the Mantis, I take it?”

“Yeah,” Cal replies, looking at the tunnel entrance but not moving from where he stands. “Gyro's fried.”

You two stand there in silence, and you want to smack yourself in the face. You feel like an awkward 12-year-old all over again, not knowing how to talk to your cr– You stop your train of thought before you dare finish that sentence and potentially embarrass yourself further. The heat on your cheeks that refuses to leave your face since you've laid eyes on the Jedi can't possibly have gone unnoticed by him.

“You know, Greez has had this room set up for you for quite a while,” you tell Cal, shooting him a quick smile. “So I take it you'll be staying for a while, right? The Mantis isn't going anywhere.”

Cal shrugs and shoots you a quick, unsure glance, then casts his eyes back down, scratching the back of his neck. 

“I was just about to head out,” you lie. Your plan for the evening was to have a drink at the bar and unwind, but him being here changes everything. “You could join me and I'll show you around if you'd like…”

Cal looks at the tunnel again, weighing the options in his mind. One is going down there to fix the Mantis as soon as possible, then taking off to who knows where. The other… you're not so sure. And if you're being honest with yourself, you're too scared to ask.

“Sure, why not,” he finally agrees with a sigh and starts walking towards the door that directly leads outside from the basement, but you feel like something, or rather someone, is missing. You look around the room, scanning your surroundings for a certain droid, then turn back to Cal.

“W-Where's BD?” you ask, fearing the worst. You'd really hate it if something happened to him.

“Oh, he wandered off somewhere earlier,” Cal says and you release a breath of relief. After calling for him, the little droid comes hopping down the stairs and into the room.

“BD!” you greet the little companion, and he excitedly beeps at your reunion. He comes running towards you and you pick him up in a hug.

“Oh, how I've missed you,” you spin him around a couple of times, then set him back down onto the floor. “I have a droid of my own now, but you're still the cutest. Don't tell him, though,” you add with a wink. 

“You have a droid?” Cal asks as BD climbs onto his back and you all make your way out.

“Yeah, he helps me out at the stable,” you explain, pointing at the building as you reach the end of the stairs. The stable is practically behind the saloon. From these stairs it's a very short trek to reach the paddocks.

“Those are nekkos, right?” Cal questions, approaching the fence and looking at the two animals chilling in the sun. “I met Mosey earlier. She said she worked at the stable,” he turns around to look at you. “But she didn't mention you.”

You're about to retort by saying she couldn't have possibly known that you two knew each other, but you're interrupted by a chirpy voice.

“Master! You're back already?” 

At the sound of the familiar robotic voice, Cal instinctively draws his lightsaber, and turns towards the side entrance to the stable. You hurry to get between your droid and the Jedi; you don't want to see Connor get sliced today. Not by him. Said droid peeks out from behind the archway, and BD beeps repeatedly, alarmed. 

“Wait!” you exclaim, holding your hands up into the air defensively. “That's my droid!” 

“Your- Your droid?” Cal repeats, clearly confused. He puts away his weapon nonetheless.

“He's reprogrammed, and he's never even been in the war,” you explain, walking backwards as Cal starts approaching the stable to inspect the battle droid further, with you still between them. “He was never even activated. He's good, I promise!” 

“Master, who's this?” Connor asks, walking back into the stable to make room for Cal and you. “Is he bothering you?” The droid activates the blaster you had built into one of his arms, and Cal's hand goes to the hilt of his sabre again, while BD beeps in exasperation. 

“No, stand down!” you order, and the blaster immediately turns off with a whirr. “Will everyone please calm down?”

Still standing between Cal and the battle droid, you let out a huff, looking from one to the other. 

“Cal, BD; this is Connor, my droid,” you start introducing them. “My good and reprogrammed droid, whose mission is to protect the stable and the nekkos, nothing more.”

Cal seems unimpressed, still looking at Connor with narrowed eyes. You turn to the droid.

“Connor; these are Cal and BD,” you start. “And you know what? Cal here–” You look at Connor with raised brows and lower your voice. “–is a Jedi.”

Connor brings his hands up to where his mouth would be, gasping in surprise. 

“You- You are?” he asks, quickly going around you to take Cal's hand and shaking it vigorously. “It's such an honour! I've always wanted to meet a Jedi!”

“So you could get up all close and stab me in the back?” Cal retorts, his voice laced with uncharacteristic venom, and pulls his hand from the droid's grasp.

“What? No, I–” Connor starts but you push him to the side a bit.

“It's okay, Connor. He'll warm up to you, eventually,” you comfort him. “Please go get the nekkos ready for us?” 

You've never heard a sadder 'roger roger' in your life and it sends a sting of pain through your chest. 

While the droid goes to prepare your mounts, you turn around to Cal and frown at him. He crosses his arms in front of his chest defensively. 

“Why would you say something like that? He's genuinely excited to meet you,” you explain. “When was the last time someone was actually happy to see a Jedi, hm?”

“Not a battle droid, that's for sure,” Cal retorts with a huff. 

You look up at him for a moment, holding his rather cold gaze. You wonder just what happened these past few years that had him like this. Sure, you understand why he isn't a fan of battle droids. Normally you aren't either. But there's just something about Cal that's… different. He looks older, but it might just be the beard. He also looks more tired, carries himself differently. With confidence like he always did, but also in a “don't mess with me” way that wasn't there before. Gone is the spark in his eyes, that glimmer of optimism and hope, replaced by the promise of not holding back if anyone were to cross him. 

For several moments, you just look at each other, and you're sure he's analysing you just as you are him, and you wonder what is going through his head. 

“The nekkos are ready,” Connor announces, leading both of them out of their respective stalls by the reins. 

You allow the animals to sniff Cal and inspect him, while you give a short explanation on how to ride and guide them. Cal's mount is white with a dark face and legs, while yours is a dark purple and brown. After thanking Connor and waving him goodbye, you both hop onto the saddle and head out of the outpost. You know your way around, taking a route that would keep you hidden from the patrols, both the imperial ones as well as the raiders. You'd much rather deal with the local fauna. And you do come across a couple of rawkas at the river, and a pack of gorgers when heading further up the Southern Reach. But you two make quick work of them.

In fact, Cal has grown stronger, and not only that, but he also has a new array of weapons it seems; now he double-wields his lightsabers, and he also has a blaster, which completely takes you by surprise. 

Once you reach the base of the big silo, you get off your nekkos and climb the rest by foot, getting on top of the structure and sitting at the edge. It's not a super well-hidden spot; if the patrols under you decide to look up they would definitely see you, but it's a good vantage point to show Cal the different places. You point towards the landmarks, explaining them to him so he can orient himself and navigate beyond the outpost. You tell him about the caverns, the mines, to look out for different patrols and what areas to avoid; be it because of the raiders, like fort Kha'lin, or because of bigger fauna like bilemaws, goroccos and mogus. Especially mogus. They are fierce.

Once you're done with your explanation, you lean back onto your hands with a sigh. Cal attentively listened to everything, but he doesn't seem interested in keeping the conversation going, as he hasn't said anything.

He's looking out, scanning this corner of Koboh as far as he could see from here, taking in the view and probably trying to commit to memory everything you've said. You look at him from the corner of your eyes, your gaze falling onto the holster on his hip.

“So,” you try starting the conversation again. “You now double-wield and you have a blaster. Which, by the way, is pretty uncharacteristic for a Jedi, no?”

“A lot has changed, I guess,” is all you get out of him.

“Do you have any other new tricks?” you ask, and the memory of him re-discovering his Master's lessons after his escape from Bracca comes back to you, making you smile fondly to yourself for a moment. 

“Hmm,” Cal thinks aloud, also leaning back and finally tearing his eyes from the landscape to look at you. “There aren't any new Force-tricks, if that's what you mean. But I do have this.”

He brings one of his arms up, showing you the contraption on his brace.

“Grappling hook. Comes in pretty handy,” he explains, showing you some of the mechanisms. Your hands reach up to gently hold his wrist, so you can inspect the device better, and you could have sworn you heard his breath hitch at the contact. At that moment, you realise that's the first physical interaction you've had since he arrived, and you quickly let go. 

“We should head back,” you say as you stand up, dusting off your legs. “It will get dark soon, plus you must be hungry. I know I am.”

“Yeah, I could eat,” Cal replies, getting up to his feet as well, and BD beeps in agreement.

Cal climbs down the silo first, while you scan the area one last time for any patrols. When it's your turn, just as you're almost at the base of the rather unstable ladder, your foot slips and you lose your balance. You hold onto the next best thing, which happens to be Cal. Seeing you're about to fall, his arm reaches around you and he pulls you towards him while with the other hand he tightly holds onto the railing that goes along the walls of the structure. 

“You okay?” he asks, and when you look up at him this time, you're finally met with a pair of eyes that you recognise. There's concern in his gaze but also a certain warmth, amused at how you were a fierce warrior yet managed to be clumsy in small things like these. He found it cute, which you knew for a fact because he would tell you often, back then…

“Y-Yeah, thanks,” you mutter, separating yourself from him now that you're back safe on the ground. Feeling the heat spreading on your face, you can't help a sheepish smile. “Guess some things never change, heh.”

“Guess not,” Cal says with a small smile of his own, and your chest tightens at the sight. 

The ride back to the Outpost is silent, and you wonder if his body is also reacting as strongly as yours; ever since slipping, your skin feels like it's tingling, and your heart hasn't calmed down in the slightest. 

Once you're back at the stable and the nekkos have been taken care of, Connor mentions that Greez left some food for you, and hands you several small containers wrapped with a cloth. 

“You wanna eat at my place?” you find yourself asking Cal, who's scratching behind the nekko's ear. He turns around to you with raised eyebrows in what you assume to be a surprised expression, but he's quick to relax his face back to normal. 

“I have a room behind Doma's shop,” you explain, holding up the food in your hands and you gesture to it with your chin. “And Greez knows this is far too much food for myself.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Cal replies, calling BD back to him, who was scanning some stable equipment. “Let me help you with that.”

Cal takes the food off your hands, and you say your goodbyes to Connor, who stays at the stable. It's a quick trip past the saloon's entrance into Doma's shop. She's behind the counter organising some of her merchandise, and returns your “hello” from afar without looking. Only when she hears Cal's greeting does she turn around. She shoots you a look and you know exactly what she means, heat prickling again at your cheeks. You give a curt shake of your head, quickening the pace to evade Doma's questioning, heading for the door at the back that leads to the place you have been calling home for the last year. 

It isn't much, but it makes do: one big room, that's both kitchen and a living space, with two doors at the far side that lead to a small bedroom and the refresher. The main room is decorated, you like to think it's warm, cosy and inviting. You even managed to thrift an old couch somewhere, refurbished it yourself, and it now essentially serves as the centrepiece of the room. There are several rugs on the floor, as well as piles of pelts and leather in the corner that you still have to finish working on so you could sell them. These days that's your main source of income.

Cal stands at the door for a moment, taking everything in, and you suddenly feel very self-conscious. The space is clean, but the fact that you can't read his face makes you a little nervous. To distract yourself, you take the food from him, bringing it to the kitchen counter.

“I think the food is still warm,” you say as you start opening the containers, the delicious smell filling both your noses. “Do you mind setting the table?”

Cal and you make quick work of getting everything plated and grabbing some drinks, then sitting down in front of each other at the wooden table to eat. You make some light conversation between bites, catching each other up on what has been going on in your lives recently. He tells you about some of the missions he's been on ever since the Mantis crew split up, and you tell him of your own solo adventures before you came to Koboh. 

When the plates are empty, your bellies full, and the conversation is about to die down, you ask if you can check out Cal's lightsabre. He unclips it from his belt to hand it to you, and you catch yourself being relieved at the fact he still trusts you enough to just give his sacred weapon to you without further inquiry. 

He's changed some parts and the materials, and you hold the device in your hands with the utmost care, admiring the beautiful design and intricate markings on the wooden accents. Rather suddenly, a feeling of regret and shame spreads out in your chest, thinking about how not only this sabre but also Cal himself went through so many changes, and you hadn't been there for any of it. There's so much you want to tell him, about how sad you are that you weren't there for him, about how sorry you are with the way you left, about how you've been thinking of and missing him every single day. But telling him that wouldn't be fair. You have no right to be selfish like that.

“So what exactly happened that got the Mantis in such a state?” you decide to ask instead, reaching the lightsabre over the table to give it back. Cal takes it with a deep sigh, putting it back to his belt, feeling immediately comforted by its familiar weight. 

“A job on Coruscant that went… wrong,” he starts, telling you how his team was gathering intel for Saw Guerrera, and it had all worked out until the very last moment, where everything went wrong, and he lost his whole crew in an instant. Only him and another person made it out of there. In fact, one of his crew members saved his life by pushing him out of the way and taking the blaster shot herself instead. 

You listen intently, and your heart grows heavier by the second; you can hear the frustration in his voice, the voice of a man who's this close to giving up entirely, because he's just so tired, but he can't. He won't. You know Cal took it upon himself to fight the Empire by himself if he has to. A trait you genuinely admire but also despise. After all, that was one of the reasons you left.

Then he mentions the Ninth Sister, and your attention is fully back to what he's saying. 

“I tried to get through to her, I really did,” Cal says, his voice cracking for a second. “But she wouldn't let up. I had no choice.”

“Did you…?” you ask carefully.

“I killed her,” he says matter-of-factly, but you can tell it's been eating away at him.

“I'm so sorry, Cal,” you offer, reaching across the table and placing your hand on his. “That couldn't have been easy. I'm sorry you had to go through that.”

He doesn't meet your eyes, his gaze fixed on his half empty cup instead, watching the drops of condensation slowly fall along the outside of the glass onto the table, staining the wood. But he doesn't pull away either, so you give his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“You look exhausted,” you finally tell him, and he lets out a breath through his nose, as if saying 'you have no idea'. You offer for him to take a shower here instead of at the saloon before heading back, telling him yours is nicer, to which he chuckles lightly, and he accepts. 

He insists you take a shower first while he takes care of the dishes, so you do just that. Once you're out, it's his turn. You hand him a towel and a change of clean clothes, and you can tell he wonders why you have them in his size, until he realises that they're actually his. It's an old shirt and lounge pants that you would always steal from him and had apparently taken with you. He doesn't comment on it though, instead he simply stares at the clothes in his hand for maybe a second too long, deep in thought. Then he blinks a couple of times, as if he just came back from zoning out, gives you a short 'thanks' and gets into the shower. 

While he cleans up, you take a seat on the couch, pulling up the novel you're currently reading on your holopad. Only now that you're sitting with your legs stretched out along the length of the cushions do you realise how tired you are, both physically and emotionally. Out of everything you could have thought would happen today, meeting Cal was certainly not on the list. Still, you can't deny that you're happy to see him. For starters, he's still alive. And you've missed him, much more than you care to admit to yourself. 

After reading the same sentence of your book over and over, failing to focus, you sigh and look at BD instead, who hops onto the coffee table and tilts his head at you with an inquiring beep. 

“Has he been taking care of himself?” you ask the droid, pointing over your shoulder in the direction of the refresher, where you can hear the water running.

BD lets out a sequence of beeps and boops, and you narrow your eyes at him for a moment. 'He keeps himself busy' he said. Is he dodging your question?

“Is that so,” you reply with a hum, and BD shoots the question right back at you. You're a bit surprised at his concern, and for a moment you consider opening up to the little droid, but you hear the water turn off, so you bring your attention back to your book again instead, trying your darndest to focus on what's happening in the story. The washroom door opens with a whoosh.

“Where should I put the towel?” Cal asks, still standing at the door frame. 

“Just put it in the hamper underneath the sink,” you reply over your shoulder, and in the corner of your eye you can see BD still looking at you, waiting for an answer. Then he tilts his head with an amused boop; he's got you all figured out. 

“Oh shush you,” you start scolding the little droid, but Cal appears, walking around the couch to sit down. Except that your legs are stretched across it, so you start lifting them off the cushions and intend to bend them at the knee to sit properly, but Cal gently grabs your ankles, lifting them off the couch to sit down, and places them over his lap instead. His hand comes to rest on your shin, and you can feel the warmth he irradiates seep through the fabric of your pants. 

“You looked comfy,” he points out, his hand gently rubbing up and down below your knee, while with his other hand he props up his head against the back of the couch. 

You swallow hard, unable to answer, and bring the datapad up to your face to hide behind it. Why is he being so nice suddenly? Is it because you aren't outside where others could see? Or is it because he realised he still has you wrapped around his finger so he's just teasing you? You're beyond confused at the sudden sign of affection after he's been so distant the whole day, like he hadn't planned on ever seeing you again. And to be quite honest, you deserve the cold treatment. After what you did, the way you left. 

Feeling the sting behind your eyes, knowing what's coming, you shrink further into yourself, holding the holopad even closer to your face to hide it from Cal's view. He can't see your expression from where he's sitting, so he gives a light chuckle, thinking you're just flustered. The sound feels like a dagger in your gut, and you unsuccessfully choke back sob.

Now Cal's face changes completely to one of concern, and he pushes the pad out of the way only to be met with your crying face. 

“Whoa, wait-“ Cal says, and he retrieves his hands, holding them both up in surrender. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I thought we-“

“I'm so sorry, Cal,” you croak, crying freely now, as you let go of the device and it falls onto the floor with a 'clunk'. “I'm so sorry for everything, for what I did. For leaving you alone.” Your hands wipe away at your cheeks in a vain attempt to dry off the tears, but they just keep coming. 

After the crew split up, the Mantis felt unbearably empty. After the failed mission on Hosnian Prime, after saying goodbye to Fret and Irei, who had definitely changed the dynamics of the crew (you still weren't sure if it had been for better or worse), everything felt like it started falling apart. 

The first to leave was Merrin, saying she needed to recentre her fire and find herself again, to be able to draw all the power she now knew she was able to use. 

Then, it was Cere and Greez. The Latero trusted Cal and left his beloved ship in his hands, telling him to look after it until he'd be back. Except everyone knew that he didn't really intend to. The loss of his arm had hit him harder than he wanted to admit, and for Greez it had been the wake-up call needed to “leave the game while you can because it's been rigged since the start”, as he would often say. Cere on the other hand took off with new-found determination. Her and Cal's goals weren't all that different: the endgame was to defeat the Empire, one way or another. However, Cal believed in taking action now, while Cere had her sights set on the future, being able to help those who would come next, long after she and everyone else were gone. She wanted to build a legacy, as the 'Jedi's knowledge was far too valuable to be lost to time and circumstance. 

After everyone was gone, it was just Cal, BD and you. 

The Jedi had become irritable, like he had already convinced himself that you would leave him soon too, as did everyone, apparently. You reassured him to the best of your abilities that you believed in what he stood for and wanted to stay by his side. However, now that you didn't have a whole crew to count on, you had to be more careful than ever.

“We have to be smart about this!” you'd plead, seeing Cal running head-first into danger time and time again. 

When the nightmares became too much, you'd hold him tightly, kissing his tears away as he'd cry out for his master, Tapal.

“You were just a kid!” you had yelled at Cal one time, when what was supposed to be a quick run-down of the plan had become a big argument. “You act as if the whole universe is counting on you and only you to defeat the beast that is the Empire. Do you think that that's your destiny? As dictated by the Force? We've had our share of big, successful missions as a group. Now it's time to back down, Cal. We're just two people, what do you expect we'll achieve here? It's time to move on.”

Needless to say, those words had not calmed Cal down in the slightest. Now he felt just as betrayed by you as he did by the rest. More words were thrown at each other like daggers finally let free after being pushed back for far too long in an attempt to keep some level of normalcy between you two. But there was no going back. So you did what you told him as well: you moved on. That same evening, you packed your things and left. 

Your heart bled and tears kept streaking down your face with every heavy step you took away from the Mantis, but at the time, you didn't know what else to do. You'd never wanted to leave Cal, and you hated yourself for doing this to him and to yourself, but what you had going on was no way to live anymore. Maybe, hopefully, now that you were gone, he would understand that. 

You know it had been a horrible thing to do, especially like that. After years of telling him how you'd follow him to the end of the world. After telling him every day how much you loved him. After promising you'd be there for him. The worst part was that being away from him was far more painful than it was with him. He left a void in your heart that only he could fill. You meant to go looking for him many times, but were too scared. You didn't deserve to have him back. Not after what you did.

But now he's here.

Between cries, you apologise over and over again, saying how what you did wasn't fair, that you wished you had never left and worked it out instead, that you missed him so much it was hard to breathe. 

Cal doesn't answer immediately, and you force your somewhat blurry gaze up to meet his eyes, and you see he's starting to tear up himself. He leans forward, lifting you up and settling you sideways onto his lap, enveloping you in a bone-crushing hug. You hold him just as tightly, crying into his shoulder.

“I'm sorry,” The more you say it, the emptier it feels, but it's all you can manage for now, and you mean it. “I really am.”

“I know,” Cal says, squeezing you a little tighter. “I felt it. When you gave me the clothes earlier.”

You remember the countless nights you've cried yourself to sleep in the very clothes he's now wearing, the times when you missed him so much you felt like your heart would rip its way right out of your chest, muttering your regrets into your pillow, as if it could carry your apology and bring it to Cal somehow. You groan in embarrassment; you always forget that your stuff also carries imprints he can feel.

“I'm so lame,” you mumble and pull back to look at Cal, giving him a weak smile that quickly turns into a grimace again as a new wave of tears come rolling down your cheeks.

“No, you're not,” Cal reassures you, one hand cupping your face and wiping over your cheekbone with his thumb. You lean into his touch with a sniffle.

“I've missed you too,” he finally says, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “And I'm sorry—” He kisses your cheek. “—for making you feel like you were less important than the missions.” A kiss to the corner of your mouth. “You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I took you for granted.” His lips brush over yours. “Can we try again?”

You close the minimal gap and kiss him hard, like Cal was the air your lungs needed after being underwater for too long. He reciprocates just as intensely, pushing you down onto the couch and climbing on top of you. When he finally breaks the kiss, you're both panting. You run your fingers through his hair as he trails kisses along your jaw, and you giggle at how ticklish his beard feels against your skin; that's a new sensation you'd have to – no scratch that, want to – get used to. Your giggles turn into a low moan as he bites the spot over your collarbone, and when you turn your head to give him better access, you're met with BD still on the coffee table, now sitting comfortably, looking up at you two as if it was the most interesting spectacle in the world. 

A strangled sound of surprise and embarrassment comes from your throat and you push Cal away a bit by his shoulders, to which he raises his head and grumbles in annoyance for interrupting him.

“We have an audience,” you whine, hiding your face behind your hands, and Cal lets out an amused laugh. BD beeps matter-of-factly.

“What do you mean 'don't mind me'?!” You turn to the droid and you swear that if he had a face, he'd be wearing the cockiest of grins right now. 

“Some things really never change, huh,” Cal comments with an amused smile, thinking back to all the times you'd become flustered when you kissed in front of BD, saying it was inappropriate or something. If only you knew that Cal often did it on purpose because he loved seeing your cute, flustered face.

“Unlike this right here,” you point out and bring your hands to his face, stroking over his beard, enjoying the prickly sensation. “This is new.”

“Do you like it?” Cal asks genuinely.

“You know I like your scars,” you say, tracing over the one on his lower lip. “As long as they're not covered up, I think I can get used to it. It does look good on you.”

Cal smiles down at you tenderly and for a few moments, you simply enjoy each other's presence, taking each other in. Making sure that this is real and it's happening, that you're back again. Until you let out a hearty yawn. 

“Let's get to bed before we fall asleep on the couch,” you say, rubbing your face, but stop to look up at Cal, who seems very content with his current position and hasn't moved yet. “You are staying here tonight, right? I mean, if you want to, you don't have to. Greez has the whole room thing for you, so I understand if—“

Cal interrupts your rambling with a quick peck. 

“Yeah, I want to stay,” he assures you and finally stands up, helping you get off the couch. 

“Let's go, BD,” you tell the droid to join you as you take Cal's hand and guide them to the bedroom. 

You climb into bed, BD at your feet as he would always do on the Mantis, and Cal lifts the covers to get in as well but stops for a moment when he sees the holopicture on your night stand. In the small frame he recognises Greez, Cere, Merrin, Cal, BD and you in the cockpit, all grinning at the camera. Smiling to himself, he finally gets into bed, hugging you to him.

“I have the same picture of us on the Mantis,” he says after letting out a content sigh at finding a comfortable position. “Guess we still were connected somehow all this time.”

You hum in response, a bit surprised at the romantic implication, as if you were lovers who found comfort in looking at the same moon even though you were separated. But you like the idea nonetheless, and you agree. 

The warmth both on your skin and spreading in your heart makes quick work of carrying you off to dreamland though, so before you can even give a proper reply, you're fast asleep in Cal's arms.

— — —

The next morning, you wake up to BD's beeping. You groan, turning over to cuddle a little longer, except that the other side of your bed is empty. You blink away the sleepiness in your eyes, and pout at the lack of Jedi in your sheets. Your nose is quick to pick up the scent of freshly brewed caf however, and the grogginess is quickly forgotten as you get out of bed and make your way to the kitchen, where Cal is preparing breakfast. 

After a quick meal and lots of stolen kisses, Cal announces it's time to go check out Greez's smuggler tunnel to find that gyro. 

“Be careful,” is the last thing you tell him before he leaves. 

“Always,” he shoots back at you with a wink and takes off. You playfully roll your eyes at that, thinking back to the countless times on the Mantis you've had to patch him up after a mission inevitably went astray from the original plan.

While Cal is looking for parts for the Mantis, you go back to your own things, checking in on Connor and the nekkos at the stable, as well as preparing some pelts and sewing up your most recent leather project. 

Time goes by fast as you skilfully work the needle and thread through the thick material, finishing the piece after a couple of hours. Setting it aside, you stretch your arms and back with a satisfied grunt. You check to see if your comms are working; they are, but there's no new messages. Strange, you think, Cal sure is taking his time to find that gyro. Is he not back yet? 

Suddenly feeling uneasy by your own thoughts of how he might have got lost in the tunnels, or how he may have encountered trouble down there, you decide to go check with Greez yourself. 

You quickly make your way to the Saloon, going down the stairs that lead to the bar with such speed that when you reach the end and see someone standing there, you bump into them before you can stop yourself. 

“Whoa,” a deep voice exclaims at the impact, and you push yourself away from the man's back you just ran into. He turns around slightly towards you. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, didn't see you there” you reply, regaining your composure and walking around him to get a better look. 

He's not super tall, but he has a strong and broad build. Although you already felt that when you bumped into him and it was like walking into a wall. You give him a quick up-and-down, trying to gauge if he's friend or foe, but you can't quite read him. He narrows his eyes at you ever so slightly, probably doing the same.

“A new face, how rare,” you start, walking over to the bar and leaning on it with one arm. Your other hand finds its way to your hip, where you realise there is no holster or weapon; you mentally reprimand yourself for leaving your staff at the stable. 

“Care for a drink?” asks Monk from behind you. 

“No, I'm looking for someone,” the man says. 

“Of course you are,” Monk replies with sarcasm. You give the bartender droid a nod; you'll take care of this. As he wheels back into the kitchen, you hear him mutter something about how his bar isn't a lost and found counter. Before the stranger can go on however, the doors at the back of the saloon whoosh open.

“Who's this?” asks Greez as he enters the main room.

“I was just about to ask him,” you reply, your eyes still trained on the man.

“I'm looking for Cal Kestis,” the man in question says instead, and your hand on the bar involuntarily curls into a fist.

“Who? Kal Restis?” Greez asks as he approaches him. “We don't know any Kales. Listen, if you're not gonna order something, get out of my saloon.”

“No, not Kale”, the man says, getting slightly exasperated as he repeats the name slower, and Greez keeps getting it wrong on purpose. 

Just as you're about to intervene and send the man away, the entrance doors open and in comes Cal, a soft smile of self-satisfaction on his face. 

“Cal!” The man greets the Jedi. You hear Greez mutter “Oh, this Cal Kestis” under his breath as they clearly recognise each other.  

“I found the gyro,” Cal announces first, throwing a small mechanical part to Greez, who's taken by surprise but still catches it. Then he turns to the intruder with a smile. “You made it!”

“Good to see you, Cal,” he replies, and the two share a friendly handshake.

“Greez Dritus, this is Bode Akuna,” Call starts introductions, telling this Bode your name as well. You merely give him a short nod in acknowledgment as Cal continues. “He was on Coruscant. Wouldn't have made it out alive without his help.”

Oh, that changes things. 

You leave your spot at the bar and drop your rather cold gaze to join the group. Coming to stand next to Cal, you take his hand, and try your best to give Bode a thankful smile. He returns it, quickly catching on. 

“Wait a minute. Another one?” Greez quips, looking behind Cal. You were so focused on Bode, that you hadn't even noticed the strange looking droid that came in with the redhead. “Cal, you have a very bad habit of picking up strays.”

“I am ZN-A4,” the droid introduces herself with an exaggerated bow. The design and material she’s made of is something you’ve never seen before. “Humble servant of the Jedi Order.”

What.

“Oh, I take it you haven't broken the news yet,” Bode says to Cal, who sheepishly shrugs his shoulders. 

Cal then brings everyone up to speed, telling you how when he was in the tunnels with BD, they stumbled upon this old chamber where the droid was stuck, so they freed her. Turns out she's a droid that belonged to a Jedi from the High Republic, of all things. Her master, Sandari, had sent her to activate the so-called forest array (that strange building the other side of the river that doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the scenery; you've always wondered what it was but never found a way to get in). However, Zee, as everyone started calling the droid, is in really bad shape, and she'll never make it that far. She looks dejected as she says that if she fails her mission, then the key to Tanalorr may be lost forever. 

At the mention of the name, Greez chimes in, telling the group that there's an old prospector legend about Tanalorr being a world filled with treasure. But treasure or not, the important part is that it seems to be a real place, one potentially beyond where the Empire can reach: a safe haven. 

Zee is delighted and very thankful that everyone seems on board with her mission, and the group is quick to formulate a plan: while Monk gets her up to speed regarding the state of, well, everything, and she gets some much-needed repairs, Bode and Greez will take care of the Mantis. Meanwhile, Cal, BD and you will go to the forest array to check it out. 

As you're making your way to the stables, you nudge into Cal's side with your elbow.

“You didn't get hurt down there or anything, right? You sure took your time,” you ask him. It did not go unnoticed by you how in Cal's retelling of events, he skilfully left out how he happened to find that mysterious chamber in the first place. 

“The tunnels were pretty old and unstable, but we're okay,” Cal deflects, shooting the droid a quick look. “Right BD?”

BD beeps in response, and you shoot Cal a glare accompanied by a muted gasp, stopping in your tracks.

“You fell through a hole the equivalent of several stories?!” You can't believe this guy. 

“It's fine!” Cal tries to reassure you, bringing his hands up to your shoulders. “I promise, it's nothing a stim didn't already fix. So there’s no need to worry, okay? We have a job to do.”

You sigh in defeat as he places a soft kiss on your forehead. You first cup his face softly, then pinch both his cheeks.

“Just what am I going to do with you, Cal Kestis?” you ask rhetorically, taking his hand into yours and resuming the short trek to where Connor is already waiting and waving at you both. 

Once you're all geared up and hop into the saddle, you tighten the strap of your staff, adjusting its position on your back.

“Just like old times, huh?” you ask at no one in particular, scanning your surroundings and taking in the scenery; it just never gets old. Cal's nekko trots up next to you.

“Just like old times,” he repeats, with that boyish smile you can't get enough of, and the glint of adventure in his eyes. 

Your nekkos take off, and the freckles on his face seem to shine in the sunlight. They form the ever familiar star map that you'd follow time and time again, finding your way back to him. Because from the first time you looked at him, you knew: you'd follow this man across the galaxy and beyond.

— — —

A/N 2: if you understand the droid name reference you get a cookie 🍪

A/N 3: in the book Battle Scars there’s a part where BD tells Cal, and i quote, “Where you go, I go”, and when i tell you that i screamed omg (the first part of my “wherever you go, i go” fic was actually called ‘where’ but i changed it to ‘wherever’ when i added more chapters because to me it sounded better asdsdf) BD-1 and me sharing one brain cell obsessed with Cal fr😌

~~~~~

🐥 taglist: [link to join in my pinned post!] @dybynyght, @galaxtic-writings, @kalea-bane, @soka-writes-things, @padawancat97, @riddikulus-obsessions, @optimisticprime3, @starilicious, @ivelostmyabilitytoeven, @alternatescififandomelover

[jadiina-hope]

It feels like we haven't seen Hemlock in a while so the question for the season is now...

HOW ARE YOU ALIVE, VEN!!!

I mean, I knew she was gonna show, she was in the trailer but how?.. Not that I'm complaining. Ngl I cried when (spoiler alert) she died in Dark Disciple. She didn't deserve that agonizing of a death

HOW?!?! TELL US DAVE!!...wait... maybe he did!

"I still have a few lives left."

Was she just being witty when she said that or did she literally mean "I have a few more lives"?

Crazy theory time (cuz it's 5am)

What if Dathomirians have multiple lives?

Hear me out.

With Ven I'm gonna rule out Night Sister magic because at the end of Dark Disciple, Vos, a jedi who can't use night sister magic, put Ven's body in the pool. The book said there was a reaction after he did that but it also said Vos felt the force reclaim her, meaning Ventress officially died. So Ven is now down a life but is still alive.

Another possible example: Merrin from Jedi: fallen order. (I haven't played Jedi: survivor yet so this part might get debunked) Merrin survived the night sister massacre when she around 12 years old. But how? What if all of the night sisters were killed that day but they didn't all stay dead cuz some of them still had extra lives.

I know I'm crazy but I'm not done yet!

Third possible example: Maul. Now, I know, Maul is a Zabrak but his still a Dathomirian. And I know in tcw Maul said he was only alive cuz of his hatred of Obi-Wan which would be a dark side ability. But that dark side ability tends not to keep the user in very good condition, like we see with Darth Sion in the Old Republic or Palpatine in episode 9, but in tcw Maul is doing better then he was in episode 1. With this one you could argue night sister magic, but if getting chopped in half didn't kill him like 🫰that, a couple hundred feet fall into a garbage shoot would've... or did but being a Dathomirian he had another life. So he was chopped in half, died (taking one of his lives), and came back. And after he came back, his hate kept him alive long enough for the sisters to heal him so he wasn't relying on the Dark side to keep him alive, which is why he's not literally falling apart in tcw.

If this theory is right, why isn't it a well-known fact in the galaxy? Cuz Dathomirians are dramatic. And they like the "What the kriff!" reactions from their friends when they die, regenerate, then just casually walk up like nothing happened.

I'm done now 🤣

[veryace-ficrecs]

Cal Kestis Fic Recs

This list was requested by @hocusypocusy!

This List may contain spoilers for Jedi Survivor.

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

Different Settings by BreakfastTea - Rated G

Jaro Tapal isn't the type to struggle with sleep...

...until Cal Kestis became his Padawan.

On one of their last nights in the Jedi Temple, Cal's anxieties keep him up far past his bedtime, and Jaro must find a novel way to help his apprentice find rest.

(Inspired by Survivor, but no Survivor spoilers!)

With the Dawn by pennflinn - Rated G

Almost healed from the encounter on Nur, Cal sets off on his own to explore a new planet — and, in doing so, finally allows himself to process the past several weeks.

Reflection by pennflinn - Rated T

It’s disorienting seeing the world, however briefly, through someone else’s eyes; it’s more disorienting still when that person is looking at you.

Or: three times Cal picks up echoes of himself.

no lie, im kind of cold? by makeyourpeacenow - Rated T

In Cal's hasty escape from Bracca, he didn't exactly have the time to drop by his place to pack his things. He left behind everything except the clothes on his back, his master's lightsaber on his belt and his infinite supply of spite against the empire. Everything else was non-essential.

That doesn't mean he wouldn't appreciate a blanket, though. He was karking cold.

In the Hole by BreakfastTea - Rated G

Cal learns the hard way how the dreamwort got its name, and Greez learns the taste of his fear.

(Set during Fallen Order. No Survivor spoilers)

A bud of promise to thy parent cling by Riv_ika - Rated G

Ponds is wandering the halls of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, on his way to a meeting with his general, when he finds a crying youngling. He’s clutching his hands close to himself and Ponds abruptly remembers a mission with General Vos, who had an eerily similar reaction to a set of manacles. Ponds can’t help but kneel in front of the kid and offer him his pair of brand new gloves. 

Stolen Choices by softmoonlight - Rated G

There's a youngling perched on the roof of the Galactic Museum, and Fox is exhausted.

A jaded clone and a nervous young Jedi have a conversation about duty.

The Start of Something New by katanrock - Rated G

After coming back from a short, but intense mission, newly appointed Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi finds himself hiding from Master Che in hopes of skipping his mandatory medical evaluation. He finds an unexpected companion instead. Or, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Cal Kestis meet for the first time.

Padawan Switch by Xo_flower - Rated G

In order to give the Padawans a more well-rounded training, the council decided to switch around a few Padawans for a few days. This was the result.

Shameless Crossover:

Cabin Fever by The_Asset6 - Rated T

When Mickey wakes up in an unfamiliar place, he’s only got two questions: where the hell is he, and who the hell is this Ian wannabe?

[wantonwinnie]

I want to make so many posts about Jedi Survivor (HEAVY spoilers ahead btw) but one of my first thoughts is what a cruel twist of fate the title for the game is.

I mean, by the end of the story of all the current or former Jedi who are major characters (Cal, Bode, Cere, Eno Cordova, Dagan Gera), only Cal survives. Jedi Survivor (singular) in the most literal sense. And each die in their own tragic way.

Eno gets killed just because Bode wanted to be an asshole (there was no reason for Bode under the circumstances to kill Eno when he could've left with the compass) and needed Tanalorr for what ultimately amount to selfish albeit understandable reasons. I don't know what it means but it's especially tragic because there's no time to even think about Eno's death. His death is meaningless. It just happens and not even to Bode's particular benefit. It's a perfectly terrible conclusion for the Jedi Master of the older age, for someone who was able to escape the needless death from a clone trooper's blaster but ended up getting betrayed by a trusted ally anyway.

Cere's death was heroically tragic and quintessentially Jedi. She tried to take down Skyguy and gave herself up to buy time for everyone else to escape. She could've ran but didn't. And this time facing Vader, she didn't use the dark side at all. She was able to put her dark past behind her despite facing a part of it again. There isn't much else to say; it's a dreadful end to someone beloved by Cal as his mentor and beloved by me too.

Bode's end is heartbreaking, almost inevitable, and ominous. He betrayed everyone for what he rationally believed was a worthy cause. He thought that he was doing everything necessary to save his daughter, his one true love left in the world. But in the end he sacrificed what could have been an opportunity for so many others to seek shelter to only give shelter to one person. And his daughter did not at all appear to be on board with his plan. Bode was given chance after chance by Cal to stop, to surrender, but he kept going. He probably told himself he was in too deep, that there was no other option, blinded by attachment. Despite being a former Jedi, he became attached to the point where he killed one Jedi in cold blood and was ready to kill another, all so he could keep Tanalorr for his own family. Cal could've taken his direction; kept Tanalorr all to his own family, sacrificing an opportunity for others in need. But Cal knew that others needed as safest a haven that could be mustered, and Bode was only looking out for himself, so much so that he proactively worked for the Empire.

Dagan's death shows another window in Cal's potential path. Dagan was always obsessed with achieving Tanalorr, blinded by its majesty even after 200 years in bacta. He never stopped to reevaluate, after the Nihil invasion, after Sanatari pleaded with him, after waking up in a new era. He never stopped, always kept going, never thinking, never taking a breath. And that would have ultimately led to Dagan accruing power for its own sake, not for the sake of helping refugees or even really concerned with stopping the Empire. Cal fortunately was self-aware enough to realize that he couldn't afford to be that obsessed with fighting the Empire via Tanalorr to see the bigger picture of who needed help and how. And Cal spent the past 5 years and much of the game never having a chance to stop and think. His contemplation allows him to see that Tanalorr needs to be for refugees, not just as a base of operations.

Like Bode, Dagan is a fallen Jedi seeking Tanalorr, but unlike Bode, Dagan is obsessed with it in the abstract, in concept only. He was stuck in the past (literally so stuck he spent 200 years in a tank!) while The High Republic Jedi moved on to the present. The Order of old recognized that places are meaningful but only to the extent they help people, and if it would put more people in harm's way to stay somewhere, they shouldn't stay. That simple! But Dagan got lost in Tanalorr's potential as an end in itself, and simultaneously forgot its purpose. Extrapolating the lesson, Dagan represents what happens when Jedi get attached to the Force as a source of power for its own sake, instead of it as a means for good.

[eveenstar]

Could I request a GN reader general like dating stuff with Cal Kestis? Sorry if you've already done it!

Have a good day!! <3

Cal Kestis!! Sure can! Hope these are enough ♡ I tried to zoom between Fallen Order and Survivor, but also post Survivor events, so watch out for spoilers!

Dating Cal Kestis | Headcanons

->Cal and Obi-Wan are the definition of 'perfect boyfriend'. In fact, all the Jedi are jealous they can't be them. Have you seen those gorgeous ginger locks? Running your fingers through his hair while he rests his head on your chest after a hard mission... now that's the dream.

->Cal is dreamy, yes, but he also comes with a lot of packages. He doesn't talk about it, Cal avoids talking about anything remotely involving his past trauma when he's around you. If you ask, he'll joke around to try and get you to change the topic. Cal hates to admit it (even to himself) but he doesn't feel worthy of your love. Deep down he still blames himself for the death of his master, for Cere, for Cordova...and for not sensing Bode's betrayal. Cal would never forgive himself if something had happened to you.

->He's very attentive and always willing to slow down and listen to you vent. One of Cal's hands will rub your knee, sometimes holding your hand, kissing your knuckles to make you laugh. Cal will feel angry that someone has wronged you, he'd carry that burden for you if he could.

->don't blame him if he ever crosses paths with the person/people who did you wrong and goes a little to far

->Knows you can handle yourself in battle, but if you can't, he'll insist on training you, "c'mon, I'll go easy on you!" he'd sway you into it until you eventually give up.

->Cal is a little tease too. Will let down his hair stan long haired cal and wear one of those tight sweat shirts to show off his muscles, just because he knows that will throw you off during training. He'll laugh about it too! "Yeah? Are you gonna blame me for your lack of focus?" purposely to annoy you so you'll put him in his place. Knock him down, straddle him and bring his lightsaber dangerously close to his throat and that will 100% shut him up.

->not to get nfsw but definitely has a thing for you having the upper hand. Cal will blush and stare wide-eyed, but that cocky little grin never once leaves his face. Its just too much fun seeing you mad.

->LOVES pulling you under his poncho when he's wearing one. You two obviously don't fit in one together unless you're considerably smaller and then get absorbed in Cal's poncho. Definitely gets you a bunch of ponchos too, even shares his! Couple's that match together stay together.

->BD-1 is your child, I don't make the rules. He loves you nearly as much as Cal and lives to make your boyfriend jealous by snuggling closer to you at night.

->"I think you've stolen him from me." Cal jokes as BD-1 hops on your shoulder as you leave the ship. He has never seen his little buddy droid so trusting of someone that isn't Cal himself. Sure, BD-1 trusts Cere, Merrin and Greez, but not as much as he trusts you, so it must means you're special.

->of course you're special, Cal would think to himself, you made me fall for you.

->not overly touchy but loves to hold your hands in his, even does it unconsciously and especially in his sleep. Cal will seek you out to rest his chin on your shoulder or the top of your head, sometimes even wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you close. May or may not start pampering your skin with soft, little kisses all the way up to your jawline and if you don't stop then he'll take it a step further...have I said he's touch-starved? He is. Once he gets his hands on you, there's no prying him away.

->Keeps a little trinket that reminds him of you if you two have to be separated. Cal will look at it, play with it between his fingers, wishing it was you he was holding instead. Probably get you something like that too, I headcanon that it's a blue and red bracelet :)

->The incident with Dagan and then Bode's betrayal has taken a toll on Cal. You can see his struggle with the darkside, even during his sleep (or the few hours that he gets of rest) his face is closed up and his hands tighten around you, as if you were sand about to escape between his fingers. Saying he becomes more fearful and protective is an understatement - life becomes so much more real when you have someone to lose, and Cal has lost too many. To lose you would be to lose himself.

->The duel with Dagan nearly cost your life as the red blade nearly sliced you in half hadn't his own lightsaber blocked it in time. Dagan taunted Cal for his love for you and that was the first time you saw the darkness that lies behind his eyes. He almost cut off Dagan's head.

->Bode was his friend, and Cal trusted him, but he couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous when you two got a little bit too close, or when Bode's hand trailed down your arm, his smile growing just a bit. Cal would sulk for a while and his kisses and holding would become just a tad bit more hungry and possessive, as if he's trying to prove something.

->Don't worry, he'll calm down when you show your love for him. Run your fingers through his hair, pull him close to you, whisper sweet nothings to his ear until he's weak under your touch.

->He's not very experienced as to what he should call you, sure before you he had at least one other relationship (which was just a little teenage crush and barely lasted more than a few rotations). Nicknames such as love and baby suffice for him, but at one point in your relationship you both start a challenge as to who can find the most dumbass nicknames for each other, and Cal takes that to heart.

->Spoiler alert, Cal wins. Everyone in the ship is horrified at the nicknames he's calling you such as his "sweet pookie bogling" and winking at you, knowing how embarrassing it is. He's a dork, but a competitive one at that. You gotta give him credit for the creativity though.

->On Tanalorr, Cal wishes for nothing more than a peaceful life with you. He has never thought of himself as a father, but he'd be lying if he said being with you hasn't sparked some thoughts that often come to him when he sees you playing with BD-1 or caring for Kata.

->That's when he knows that no matter how hard the fight gets, everything will be alright as long as he has you by his side.

[grievedeeply]

Finally someone with Jedi survivor requests open!! 🖤

Would you be open to doing some Cal Kestis NSFW head cannons? Everyone writes him as a bit of a sub after Fallen Order but Survivor Cal gives me more dom vibes. Like, he is more cocky and sure of himself. I feel like that translates to the bedroom

Interested to see your thoughts! ❤️

this is my first request for cal on this blog and i haven't written for him in like 2 years so i hope this is good 😓 thank you for the request!! no jedi survivor spoilers btw <3 this is just pure smut lol

afab!reader (no pronouns used) | MINORS DNI!! | join my taglist!!

tags: switch!cal, switch!reader, orgasm denial, cockwarming, piv, oral (reader & cal receiving), praise kink, rough sex, inappropriate use of the force, public sex/risky sex, mutual masturbation

cal kestis nsfw headcanons

i don't think he's the most experienced at the beginning of your relationship but i do think he's an incredibly fast learner as well as a good listener

he can read your body well, as well as your expressions and even your breathing. he can just tell when something feels good

cal is versatile. incredibly so, actually. he caters to your needs most of the time and hardly ever focuses on his own. he wants to see and hear your pleasure before he ever gets to his own

he's soooo sweet and so giving during sex. it's always an intimate act and a display of love in his eyes even if it's a quickie (which he doesn't particularly enjoy, only because he can't spend hours getting his hands on you)

really big on foreplay and teasing when he's feeling more dominant. i can see him into orgasm denial and reveling in the look in your eyes when you're so close to your orgasm.. it drives him up the wall and makes him so hard

praises you for doing so well for him. anything that comes into his mind he'll say. his voice as soft as ever, whispering into your ear. he'll praise your moans, how well you're taking him— it doesn't matter— he'll find a way

the feeling of his cock slipping into you is such a magnificent one, a feeling cal doesn't ever think he'll get tired of. he'll whimper and moan into your neck whenever he bottoms out, his hands gripping at the bedsheets or your chest

depending on his mood, he can be super rough or really gentle. whenever he's had a particularly bad or rough day he just wants to fuck the shit out of you. the door opens and his lips are immediately attached to you, asking you if you're okay with sex before he takes off your clothes

even if he's feeling more dominant, he can be so gentle, too. if he sees you're feeling down and need him to take care of you, he'll jump into action. his fingers rubbing at your clit, driving you crazy even through all of the layers of clothing you wore

definitely the type of guy to prepare you a bath afterwards, too. he knows how important aftercare is no matter how gentle he might've been with you. it's just as intimate as the sex if not more so

he can be really vocal.. especially if you're giving him head. he just loooves thrusting into your mouth watching as you gag on his cock..... keeps eye contact the entire time and tugs on your hair to get you to look back at him if you turn away for too long

sometimes he gets sooo into it that tears will form in your eyes. he can't bring himself to slow down, though. your tongue hits all of the most sensitive spots, his head thrown back as he releases into your mouth

apologizes after it all calms down. asks if he's being too rough, and tells you to tap on his thighs if he's ever going too hard on you or if it's too much

he's sooo kind in every situation and that moves over into the bedroom as well

BUT! he's also really good at eating you out. his tongue is so masterful, and that isn't an understatement. i mentioned before at how he's really good at reading you, and this especially comes into play in these moments

he'll listen for the hitches in your breath, feel your hands pulling at his hair with each movement of his mouth against your clit and he knows how to drive you to orgasm just by observation alone

i don't think cal would think of using the force in this way before you came along. the thought comes to him at a completely random moment, too— but he'll suggest it to you and you're almost a little shocked

but when you try it out.. it's incredible. he doesn't have to hold your hands down above your head as he thrusts into you, instead, his hands far away from you, held behind his back. you can feel the force moving across your body, your chest, your stomach, your face— and you wonder if he can feel it based off of the look on his face

submissive cal is still pretty common. he enjoys being taken care of especially on his off days. it feels good to know you're more than willing to take on a more dominant role in the relationship too, and he LOVES it

he sees the look in your eyes. hungry, desperate. it makes him yearn for you in a way he hasn't before, seeing you like this. especially if this is your first time being dominant? ooooh it makes him so hard to see you with this mindset

he cannot insult or degrade you. he doesn't find it attractive and it'll make him feel so bad if he ever says something in that sense to you, even if you're into it. he'll try mostly anything else, though

cockwarming. he loves it. it makes him feel close to you. it doesn't matter if you've even had sex or not beforehand, but it's something he really enjoys to do. he loves feeling you around him.. your walls clenching with every move he makes

public sex. the only thing keeping everyone else from knowing his cock is buried into your cunt is the outfit you're wearing. he looooves the riskiness of it all even if he knows he shouldn't

.. sex on the mantis while greez, cere and merrin are in the other room. he's pounding into you from behind, his hand covering your mouth while the other fingers your clit, "come on, be quiet for me, okay? you're doing so good for me, sweetheart.."

you come stumbling out of the back, your face flushed and hair completely messed up. everyone knows what happened, and cal takes a strange sense of pride in it.. but he won't deny the red on his cheeks

mutual masturbation is sooo hot to him, especially if he walks in on accident while you're touching yourself— cockily asks you if you want his help

he'll watch you so intently, too.. until he gets too hard he can't stand it. he'll palm himself through his pants until he has to pull his cock out, rubbing his hand up and down his length as he watches you. the look in your eyes as you watch him, too..

when you're not around he could get too desperate and fuck a pillow and imagine it's you if he has to. it sounds so pathetic to him at first but he can only jerk himself off so many times and have it be satisfactory

the reunion sex, though? it's practically magic. nothing will everrr feel as good as you do

the sound of his balls slapping against your ass with each of his quick thrusts is sooo sexy to him, especially when it's accompanied by your lewd moans of his name

he seems really vanilla at first glance but he's willing to do anything to make you feel good no matter how out of left field it might be. he only has a few big no's and that's it

if you ever say his dick is big or it's too much to fit he will actually cum on the spot. the idea is so hot to him— especially how you say it. so desperate and needy, it drives him mad

cal.. he's so kind. so caring and so generous with his love, but while you're having sex it's never just sex to him. it's a way of displaying his love for you. that's how he thinks of all of your intimate moments. he never has sex just to have it

once again. aftercare!!! so important for him and it helps him unwind from it all. but don't be surprised if he wants to go at it again after everything you've already done

cal knows he is sexy. that's all