#this isn't even me bitching about rina

[sincerelyneo]

promiscuous | l.jn

“i’m all yours, what you waiting for?”

💿now playing: promiscuous by nelly furtado, timbaland

❯ summary: Jeno’s more turned on than angry he thinks - it’s not everyday he finds out his girlfriend used to be a stripper and now all he wants from you is a lap dance. Right now. In his car.

❯ pairings: jeno x fem!reader

❯ genre: established relationship, smut

❯ words: 3.7k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, mentions of drinking, lap dancing, stripping, car sex, unprotected sex (don't do this!), dirty talk, thigh riding, semi-public sex, hair pulling, mentions of groping and shitty men, karina is reader's bsf, reader uses she/her pronouns, just jeno being smitten and in awe over his stripper gf.

“Did you see the look on his face when you said you had a boyfriend?” Karina chuckles from the backseat of Jeno’s car.

The joke isn't particularly funny, but it's the combination of alcohol buzzing through her system and the late hour that has her snickering and laughing as if she's a comedian. Jeno can’t help but crack a smile either, not because he finds her humorous; but because his heart swells with pride knowing you turned down another guy because you’re his girlfriend. 

He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of saying that. 

“I know, he looked like he was about to piss his pants when he started apologising,” you add with your own cackle of laughter. “Priceless really, like a little dear in the headlights.”

Karina grins, leaning back into the middle seat. "I almost wanna feel bad for him, but then I remember he wouldn't take no for an answer until you mentioned Jeno."

You roll your eyes with a shake of your head, “That’s men for you.”

“Ugh! Tell me about it,” she rolls her eyes, “Men are so gross.”

Jeno looks through the rearview mirror and sees her scrunch her nose as a shiver runs through her body. “Hey now, I’m not gross.”

“Oh I know, Y/N tells us all about how cute the two of you are,” she sighs, “She’s managed to find one of the good ones, lucky bitch.”

You look over at Jeno when she says it, a smile on your face because she’s right. Lee Jeno’s the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. Just the right balance of sweet and smitten and passionate and protective. Even now, with one hand on the steering wheel and the other gently resting on your exposed thigh beneath your short dress, he had insisted on picking you up from the club even if it meant waiting up into the early hours of the morning. He just didn’t like the idea of you and your friend getting in a cab alone, drunk. Granted, you’re not that drunk, but Karina is. 

He is one of the good ones.

“You’ll find a good one too, Rina. You deserve it,” you assure her looking back to see her sitting with her arms folded across her chest. 

“Well wherever he is he needs to hurry up, honestly, I don’t know how much more I can take of shitty men chatting me up at the bar and trying to grope me. It’s nauseating.”

“They do that to you?” Jeno asks. You pull up to a red light and his eyes meet hers in the mirror.

“Sometimes,” she shrugs, “Honestly Y/N, I don’t know how you used to put up with it when you used to strip…” 

Karina's words trail off as she realises her mistake, her eyes widening in alarm. You go stiff in the passenger seat because you haven’t told Jeno about that. 

The jovial atmosphere in the car suddenly shifts, the air growing thick with tension as Karina's slip of the tongue hangs in the air like a heavy cloud. Jeno's grip tightens on the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. His eyes flicker to the rearview mirror, catching Karina's wide-eyed expression, and there’s a silent plea for forgiveness in her gaze.

Your heart pounds in your chest, and a rush of panic floods through you. For a moment, the only sound in the car is the dull hum of the engine and the distant echo of traffic outside. Jeno's jaw clenches, but it’s not out of anger, you’ve seen him angry and this isn’t it. If anything you haven’t ever seen him like this, expression unreadable, and you don’t know whether that’s worse.

"You... used to strip?" His voice finally cuts through the heavy silence. 

Your breath catches in your throat, as you struggle to find the right words to explain yourself. You open your mouth to speak, but no sound comes out. There’s a weight of guilt and fear pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket.

Karina shifts uncomfortably in her seat, her earlier confidence replaced by a palpable sense of regret. She opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out for her either. Her gaze darts between Jeno and you with a mixture of guilt and apprehension.

The remainder of the car ride was suffocatingly silent until the car pulls up in front of Karina's building, the engine cutting off with a final sputter. She hesitates for a moment, her hand lingering on the door handle as she glances between you and Jeno, unsure of what to say.

Eventually, she opens the door and lets herself out, but not before standing at the passenger window to mouth a small and apologetic. "I’m sorry.”

You manage a weak smile and shake your head, mouthing back a simple, “It’s okay.”

She nods, and she stumbles her way up to her apartment. Jeno waits until she’s safe inside and the door closes behind her before he starts driving off again. You can’t help but shift uncomfortably in your seat, stealing glances at him out of the corner of your eye. 

You can’t shake the feeling that he’s angry, furious even, at the revelation of your past. Guilt gnaws at your insides, twisting and turning as the car is quiet and his gaze stays fixed on the road ahead. 

You can’t bear the silence any longer, the weight of it pressing down on you. "Jeno, are you... mad?" you tread lightly, voice barely above a whisper.

Jeno's head snaps to the side until his eyes meet yours. They’re dark and intense but filled with more surprise than anger. And you’re caught off guard; because you could have sworn from the way he’s gripping the steering wheel, hard enough to cause a fire, he would have been at least a little annoyed.

A slow smirk starts to spread across his lips, gaze now burning and it sends shivers down your spine. "Mad?" he echoes, "No, Y/N... not mad."

A wave of confusion washes over you, your mind reeling at the unexpected response. But before you can process his words, he’s pulling over at some random side of the road to lean in close to your ear. His breath is hot, and he whispers, "Actually, I'm pretty turned on."

You move away from him, back hitting the car door, “Really? You’re not upset…?”

“Well…” he shrugs, “I’m upset that you didn’t tell me—”

“I didn’t want you to look down on me, or be embarrassed of me,” you cut him off, the urge to guard yourself getting the best of you.

Jeno sighs, and he notices the way your voice shakes as you defend yourself. He doesn’t understand why you’re even doing that – you don’t have to prove anything about yourself to him – he loves you as you are, past and future included. 

“You didn’t let me finish,” his fingertips grip your chin, “I’m upset I made you feel like you couldn’t trust me to tell me that.”

“I just didn’t want you to judge me is all,” you look down, voice going quiet. 

“That what you think I’d do?” He asks, planting a kiss on your cheek, and to his pleasure, it snaps your eyes up to him. “I’d never fucking judge you, baby, I already think you’re perfect… and I suppose knowing you used to strip is kind of a bonus.”

You laugh, shaking his hand from your chin, “Shut up.”

“I’m serious, do you know how hot it is knowing my girlfriend used to be a stripper?”

His tone is too calm for your liking. You had often imagined how Jeno might react about learning of your past as a stripper, and you don’t know why, but you had always prepared for him to be angry. You weren’t expecting this, him being so touchy and needy and – well – horny. 

“I’m serious, Y/N.” He scrapes his teeth across his bottom lip as he flicks a glance up to the roof of his car. When his eyes fall down to yours, they’re dangerous. “I’m getting hard just thinking about it.” 

You push at his chest playfully, “Stop it Jeno.” 

“Were you any good at it?” he asks tensely.

“We’re not doing this,” you laugh, shaking your head. 

He groans - it’s more of a whine. “Come on humour me, please baby.” 

You jut your jaw and roll your eyes. “Fine, I suppose I was pretty good.”

He lets out a dark huff of breath. Leaning back in his seat, he strokes his chin and runs a slow, all-seeing eye up your thigh and then over your chest. By the time it rests on your face, all of your nerve endings are on fire, lungs unable to keep up with your tense breaths.

“Show me.”

Your eyes widen, “What?” 

“Show. Me.” He repeats, expressionless.

There’s a chill that drifts through you. His face is completely void of humour, but there’s no way he can be serious…right? 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you straighten your spine, mustering your best look of indifference as you fix him with a piercing stare. “We’re in public.”

“We’re in my car, and it’s dark.” 

You swallow, “You want me to strip here?” 

He nods. 

“There’s no room.”

He reaches down beside his seat, and with a soft touch, it reclines, creating a large space between his knees and the steering wheel. He always has an answer to everything. You let out a ragged breath, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

"Jeno, I can't just strip for you—" you begin, your voice trailing off as he interrupts you.

"Oh, so you'll strip for random men, but when I ask, it's a problem?" 

You bite the inside of your cheek, meeting his intense gaze. "You're serious?"

"Deadly.”

"Fine."

The click of your seatbelt echoes in the quiet car as you rise, sliding into the gap in front of him, facing the windshield. He lets out a low groan, his hand finding purchase on your waist, sending a jolt of electricity coursing through your veins.

As you slowly lower your body, the denim of his jeans rustles against the backs of your thighs. You shift your ass forward to his knees and arch your back. Your hands tremble, partially because you haven’t done this for years but also from the heat of his impatient gaze on your skin as you tease the straps of your dress down your shoulders.

With deliberate movements, you shift your hips, slowly, sensually. Your body sways in time to an invisible rhythm and you feel your lust and adrenaline rise.

His fingers glide along the contours of your back, and suddenly, an irresistible urge seizes you – to see the expression etched onto his face. It's a novel sensation, one that contrasts sharply with your previous experiences. In the past, when you danced, you avoided eye contact with patrons, but this is different; this is Jeno, your Jeno.

You decide to peer over your shoulder, and when you do you don't break eye contact with him. Taking a deep breath you slide the dress over your body, his gaze follows your every movement. From your ankles to the strip of your black underwear, his eyes trace your curves with a hunger that has your core setting a light. There is not a single trace of sweet Jeno left in his irises - the man looking back at you is hungry, needy.

Letting the fabric fall to the pedals, you lower yourself back onto his lap. The warmth of his thighs against your bare skin sends a delicious shiver down your spine, and you can't help but arch your back as you roll your hips, feeling the heat building between you. Soft fabric brushes over your clothed cunt and it makes your mouth water.

Holding onto the steering wheel, you arch your back and roll your ass into the direction of his groin. The guttural sound of his grunt is so animalistic it sends a shock of pleasure straight to your clit. You push further, sliding back until the tip of his swollen cock brushes against your ass. The realization of just how hard he is through his jeans sends a thrill coursing through your veins that triggers a wet heat to pool in your panties. 

Your heart pounds in your chest as you move, each roll of your hips driving you closer to the edge from the brush of his growing erection. His ragged breathing fills the car, and when his rough fingers slide beneath your panties, the snap of elastic meeting skin elicits a moan from your lips.

"Can't believe you'd wear panties like this, in that dress, when I wasn't there," he grunts, his voice thick with desire.

Gasping for air, you tilt your head back, your breaths coming in short gasps. "Shut up," you manage, but your voice still trembles with need.

He laughs, before returning his hands to your waist. "Turn around for me, baby. I want to see your face."

Too breathless to refuse, you rise on shaky legs and turn to face him. And when you meet his gaze, you're unprepared for the intensity you find there. It's a stare so intense it's almost violent, burning as it trails over your body over your thighs and stomach. You’ve had plenty of sex with Jeno and the way he studies your body so carefully will never not leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable.

“Prettiest fucking girl in the world,” he mutters the words more to himself than to you, but still, you shudder beneath the weight of them.

You grip the back of his headrest and slowly lower yourself onto his lap. Jeno leans forward to meet you. His hands, hot and greedy, slide behind your back to steady you. A smile tugs on your lips as you roll your hips against his throbbing cock just enough to wake up your clit — not that you needed to. Then, his fingers slide underneath the band of your bra and he looks up at you through his thick lashes. 

The snap as he drags his thumb out from underneath the band sends a jolt of pleasure straight to your pussy, and you can't help but arch your back in response. His eyes roam over your body, tracing the line of your throat before settling on your lips.

"I want to take this off," he murmurs, his voice low and teasing.

"That's not how lap dances work, silly," you giggle, a smile playing on your lips.

Another animalistic groan comes from him forcing your pussy to clench around nothing. Your fingers dig into his headrest, and his raspy breaths tickle the dip of your chest. You rake your teeth over your bottom lip as his fingers find the base of your hair to yank your head back.

"You take it off then," he growls, his voice thick with desire. "I just want it gone. Now."

With a mischievous grin, you slide your bra off, tossing it in his direction. As it lands on his face, you see a slow breath escape his parted lips, tension tightening the line of his shoulders as his hungry eyes take in the sight of your bare breasts. His eyes trail over your curves, the hunger in his gaze almost palpable as he flexes his biceps, adjusting his hands behind his head.

"Don’t let me stop you," he murmurs cockily.

Your pussy throbs with anticipation as you lean back, gripping his knees as you rock your hips forward once more. One particularly hard roll of your hips elicits a moan from deep within you, the friction building with every movement.

"You're so wet, baby. I can see you soaking through your panties," he whispers

Flustered, you whimper in response, his gaze sliding down to where your panties meet his jeans.

"Can I pull them to the side?" 

You're too lost in the moment to argue, too caught up in the pleasure and the heat between your thighs. So you nod, permitting him to slide your panties to the side as you grind hopelessly against his leg. Your body is flush and sweaty yearning for him, craving more pressure every time your clit brushes against his bulge. 

“Fuck,” he whispers close to your ear. 

Your hands slide between his bent elbows and your fingers lock behind his headrest; allowing you to have a better position to grind down on his body with even more fervour.

“You’re gonna cum on my thigh aren’t you?”

You're consumed by heat and desire, completely hot and desperate, and the windshield is now fully fogged up as a result. Lost in the throes of pleasure, you're unable to respond to him, but words are unnecessary. He can see the way your eyes clench shut with each roll of your hips, an expression of pure ecstasy. It's all the encouragement he needs to take action, flexing his thigh beneath you.

The sensation overwhelms you, causing you to buckle under the pressure against your clit. Unable to contain yourself, you sink your teeth into Jeno's bicep and he hisses. But you can't help it because waves of pleasure wash over you as you ride out the orgasm that courses through your body.

After what feels like an eternity of bliss, your high begins to ebb, and you find yourself melting into his chest, spent and content.

It's only when the intensity of your climax subsides that you snap back to reality. Neither one of you has moved – you’re just attached to eachother, panting heavily that you might as well share the same breath.  The sensation of Jeno’s cock poking your ass is still tangible, and even though you are practically exhausted from the intensity of the orgasm he just gave you, you figure it’s only fair to return the favour.

Your gaze remains fixed on his as you reach down to fumble with the buckle of his jeans. He offers no assistance, his eyes entirely focused on you. After all, this is your show, and you get to call the shots. 

You free his cock from his boxers, skipping the rest of his clothes in your eagerness to please him. His hands find your waist as yours find his shoulders, and you revel in the satisfaction of his eyes fluttering shut as you sink down onto the entirety of his length. 

He hisses in pleasure, unable to resist a teasing remark. "You know, for someone who was so hesitant to strip in public, you sure don't mind taking my cock in public."

"It's dark, and we're in your car," you retort, satisfied with your quick comeback. 

But before you can say more, he thrusts his hips, driving his cock deep inside you, where he belongs.

You feel every edge of him as he pounds into you, knotting your stomach and causing you to tighten your grip on his shoulder. The force of his thrusts threatens to push you back against the steering wheel, but you manage to hold on, whining in pleasure as he mutters curses under his breath.

"You always feel so good for me, baby," he coaxes, his hand tangling in your hair and pulling it back to expose your neck.

You hum in agreement, shamelessly lost in pleasure as he peppers your skin with wet, open-mouthed kisses. You pant like there is no oxygen left in the car as his thrusts become sharper and more reckless.

“Fuck Jeno.” 

You gasp, feeling his grip on your waist tighten in sync with the coil of pleasure in your stomach. He pushes you down to nuzzle into his neck, eliciting a cry from you at the angle. He takes your hands from his shoulders and locks them behind your back, giving him full control to drive every inch of him deep inside your pussy.

“Shit..” you whimper into his neck. You can feel his lips against your jaw, nicking it with his teeth. 

“Take it, baby.”

The restriction of your hands paired with his powerful thrusts have you completely submissive to him - which is funny considering you were supposed to be putting on a show for him. He uses his hold on your arms to pull you back and forces you to look at him. 

“Wanna see your face when you cum pretty girl.”

He knows your body so well because you’re at the beginning of your second round of bliss. His forehead falls lazily to your collarbone as he kisses the skin, sending trembles down your body and causing your mouth to fall open as you meet the edge. 

And your whimpers only spur Jeno on, as he rocks you through your orgasm, his own release not far behind. He shakily moans out your name with heavy breaths, his pace staggering as you both climax together. Both your stomachs jitter from the stimulation and your chests huff until your bodies shake with the intensity of the pleasure.

As you come down from your high, you feel Jeno's final thrusts, his eyes squeezed shut and sweat glistening on his brow. The collar of his shirt is damp with exertion, and his tongue pokes out at the side of his mouth as he catches his breath.

You’re like a limp puddle too, but Jeno stays clung to you, your sweaty bodies tangled in one other. Then, you slip off of him and drop into the passenger seat, tugging on your bra and dress that were previously disregarded on the car’s floor.

Jeno fixes his jeans as you dress. Then he starts toying with the car’s keys and revs the engine. As the car comes to life, the headlights glow yellow and the radio picks up. His warm, firm hand finds your thigh as you fasten your seat belt and glance up at him.

"From now on, every time we have sex, you owe me a lap dance."

 "Shut up," you say with a scoff of laughter.

“I'm serious," he insists, " We gotta make up for lost time since you kept the fact you're a sexy ass stripper hidden from me."

[makimahinalno]

As a non Western person (not American nor Western European) I never trully understood the problems when it comes about race. But after this video everything is clear to me and how people (and in general) in these big companies think.

Zevran is the only POC in Origins + romance option, and he is the only one that is ALWAYS forgotten. Most people consider him to be nothing more than a quick fuck (but he feels a lot and wants love, he hides it well), or they consider him to be stupid and that he only survived by pure luck (he lies when he tells about his missions, he's just trying to appear harmless to the Warden). When he tells the Warden that he wanted to die after that whole thing with Rina and the Crows, people laugh cause they think he's joking and is trying to mask failure when trying to assassinate the player (he isn't, he is actually suicidal and depressed).

So Zevran is considered as a comic relief, he's not given the same empathy nor understanding that are given to: Solas, Morrigan, Alistair etc...

But let me give you an actual comparison so you can in fact understand that RACE does play a huge role in how a character is perceived.

ASTARION. Yes, The Pale Elf from BG3. Him and Zevran are very similar!! Both are dashing rogues but they both have a tragic backstory, both stories revolve around being sold into slavery and both have sexual trauma. Yet for some reason, Zevran is being treated as a joke while Astarion has millions of people defending him??? Some have babied him down to the point that you need to spoon feed him cause he is such a poor innocent creature that can do no wrong and you need to take care of him cause he was so hurt.

So people will excuse Astarion being a dickhead and a shitty person (he is, he even admits that he wants others to suffer with him) for being a WHITE MAN, but people aren't giving the same love to Zevran even though he is much nicer as a person (he only lashes out at the Warden when that thing with earring comes up) and he has a really tragic backstory too. So why? Oh yeah it's because he is a POC.

To all the people that think like this, from the bottom of my heart, GO FUCK YOURSELF. Fucking racist pieces of shit. I see already how people are treating Bellara and Davrin! They aren't given the same love and hype as Emmerich and Lucanis, why? CAUSE THEY AREN'T WHITE

I'm so done, I vented out the anger hopefully, but ufff the way that stupid bitch in the video spoke makes my blood boil.

[9toji]

could i please request some kind of hc/drabble of what character/s you think would be good at being publicly protective of reader? coming from someone paranoid of men in public, what characters do you think would take a fear like that seriously and make you feel safe?

thank you 💗🙏🏽

‧₊˚✩彡 KEEP YOU SAFE ! — jjk & bllk boys

characters ; gojo, megumi, kunigami (post-wildcard), rin

rina's comments ; i hope you're okay anon! i made this extra fluffy for you <3 i didnt know whether to write for jjk or bllk so i did both! hope you enjoy!! <3

tags ; established relationship, they keep you safe wherever you go

gojo was always the type to make you feel safe and to protect you, there are lots of things he'd like to shield you from but he lets you do what makes you happy, he doesn't want to feel like he's suffocating you. satoru always wants to see you safe and happy after all.

always the type to squeeze your hand in crowds, to make sure you two pass through with ease. being that tall had its advantages, he looks back at you a few times to make sure you're okay and that you're still beside him before leading you out of the sea of people on the streets.

assuring you that you were safe, in case you felt a little worried. “i'm here pretty thing, you're okay.” he whispers into your ear before proceeding to walk to wherever he wants to take you, you two always go out just because gojo loves trying new restaurants that he spots whenever he's away at work but he brings you so you don't feel left out and you get to eat the food he also wants to eat.

satoru spoils you with gifts whenever you two go out, even if you insist that you don't need such things. now, you have keychains dangling from your purse than matches his, keychains of little sushi figures that you two bought from a restaurant that sells them. “now we match!” he exclaims with a cheeky grin and a kiss to your forehead.

megumi isn't protective unless you two are outside, asking you to cling on to his arm while you two walk. and for both your pleasure, he holds your hand which he rarely does at home because his hands get all sweaty but during dates he insists to, so he can keep you close.

even when his hands get sweaty, he grips on to your hand tight. “i'll keep you close, let's wipe my hand off later.” megumi is shy about it, the fact that his hand gets sweaty because even though he's been with you for a while, he still gets a little nervous and shaky about physical touch.

on dates, he takes you to art galleries and small underground cafes. and when you ask about how he knows about such places since they're pretty unknown, he murmurs gojo's name which makes you laugh. knowing that gojo offers him advice too. even when the places you go to have few people inside, megumi is cautious.

“let's go look around, hold on to me.. okay?” your boyfriend asks with a soft tone, placing a soft kiss on your forehead as you two walk around. your hand and his own sweaty hand keeping you two close to each other, wiping his hand down with tissues whenever you two rest and sit down on benches.

kunigami is very protective of you, even when his demeanor doesn't really show it. “stay close.” he huffs indignantly, but there's a faint blush tainting his cheeks as you wrap you arm around him. always the one to give accidental resting bitch faces as he walks down the sidewalk, making him look scarier than he actually is.

he's the type to bring you to cutesy cafes, just because you want to. even to plushie stores where he examines each and every one, keeping you close by with a slight grin. kunigami loves seeing you happy, and so he squeezes your hand, and when you make a little ow! sound, he apologizes. not meaning to hurt you in his little moment of having butterflies.

every person or more specifically men that approach you whenever he goes off to the restroom receives a dirty look or a glare, the severity depending on the situation. his muscular arm placed on the man's shoulder as he gives a very simple, but scary-sounding, warning. “back off, they're mine.”

and when the man leaves, kunigami blinks at him with a confused look. not meaning to make the man extremely afraid of him, he looks to you and smiles. “at least you're safe, let's go?” rensuke asks as he lets you drag him away, inspecting more cute trinkets that caught your eye.

as a soccer celebrity, which rin hated being called by the way.. came with its advantages. not that he gets swarmed by loads of soccer fans but he does ask his bodyguards to accompany you on dates, which is a little awkward but he insists, because it means it'll give you two more room to breathe and it'll mean you'll be safe a lot more.

the go-to dating spots between you two are always expensive restaurants, that serve good food but in miniscule portions. so one day, you ask rin if you two could eat out to somewhere where you can eat more without missing out on good food, and rin contemplates before agreeing. immediately calling his bodyguards to accompany you two.

even with them around, rin always had a hand snaked around your waist to keep you closer. “you're alright babe, we'll be safe.” he looks behind him and sees his guards coughing as if they weren't used to seeing rin display affection, which was true.. since he always has a frown on his face while training or when he's alone. rin scowls and goes a little red, looking down at his shoes before smiling slyly at you.

rin actually enjoys the food at the local restaurant much more than the expensive, really expensive gourmet that serves only little, almost drop like sizes. your boyfriend sighs as he eats with gusto and when he turns to you and grins a little, he says slowly “let's come here more often, love.” wiping away the small spill at the side of your cheek. putting him in a good mood and even smiling at his fans that wait for him outside the small restaurant.

[scorbleeo]

Book Chat: God of Pain

Legacy of Gods (Book 2) by Rina Kent

Source: Google Images

I made a terrible mistake.

Being a mafia princess, I knew my fate was already decided.

But I went ahead and longed for the wrong one.

Creighton King is bad news with a gorgeous exterior.

He’s silent, brooding, and obviously emotionally unavailable.

So I thought it was over.

Until he awakens a beast inside me.

My name is Annika Volkov, and I’m Creighton's worst enemy.

He won’t stop until he breaks me.

Or I break him.

Source: Goodreads (2022)

This Book Lived Up to its Title

I had such high hopes for God of Pain because of how much suffering I went through with the previous book's romance. Like, can it get any worse than boring? However, it isn't even the high hopes that thoroughly disappointed me. It was everything about the book; the main characters, the plot and the pacing. Reading this book was a mentally painful experience...

I came across someone talking about the weak points in Kent's writing. In that video, the person mentioned that Kent tends to butcher her main characters when its their book, and I completely agree with that sentiment. Back in God of Malice, I was looking forward to reading this book because I wanted to see how Annika, this bundle of joy, managed to warm Creighton, a rock, up. Yet upon coming to their book, it's like reading another Glyndon and Creighton. The beginning of the relationship when Annika was the active chaser made sense but immediately right afterwards, it made no sense. There literally was no reason for Creighton to go from ignoring Annika to becoming jealous because she considered Brandon to be her fake boyfriend? It's okay if Kent wants to write instant love but to do it so much and much less one after the other? I thought Kent's writing would improve but sadly, it's very obviously becoming stagnant.

Moving on, I really, really loathed the third act breakup in God of Pain. I hated that Creighton forced Annika's hands knowing full well how much family means to her. One does not simply let her beloved sibling die at the hands of someone she believes she's in love with for not even half a year yet. I understand the concept of prioritising the person you love but when both parties just barely got together, do not give me bullshit and expect me to think they are supposed to prioritise each other. At least in Elsa and Aiden's case, they already had an actual connection years before reconnecting. What does Annika and Creighton have except for an intensely new attraction during the time he forced her hands? Then to have everybody else blame her for shooting Creighton? And then for her to forgive them because she thinks she's wrong for choosing her family when forced to choose? To people who sided with the British nepo babies, please actually remember Annika is a mafia princess, she was born into the mafia world. Loyalty, brother/sisterhood, familial ties are everything, no matter how un-mafia-like Annika is, she's still mafia since she took her first breath. For Ava to slap her as if this mafia princess was not going to protect her own brother? Bitch, please.

Both main characters and the mystery behind their story was much more interesting in God of Malice. This book? It's definitely one of Kent's worst books. The only reason for that 0.5 is for that scene between Brandon and the kidnapped Nikolai.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ (1.5/5)

P.S.: Does Aiden really think he can take Adrian? Like this old-money wealthy businessman who came into power because of who his father is? Versus the intel collector, one of the most powerful person in the inner cricle of the freaking Bratva, one of the mafia leaders? Who the hell does Aiden even think he is... Yes, I hated his chapter the most.

More on the Legacy of Gods series here: God of Malice (#1)

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; Hold The Girl by Rina Sawayama (Part I)

MINOR FEELINGS

"How am I supposed to feel?"

"You're telling me that nothing in my life is real?"

"Just sit and smile."

"Writing my own fairytales."

"Dreaming of the day I'm tall enough to save myself."

"I was just a child."

"What it takes to recognize emotions that I try to hide."

"The more I keep them all inside, the more they bury me alive."

"All my life, I've felt out of place."

"All my life, I've been saving face."

"All these minor feelings are majorly breaking me down."

"All my life, you took me for a fool."

"All my life, you told me what to do."

HOLD THE GIRL

"I won't leave you on your own."

"Teach me the words I used to know."

"I forgot 'em long ago."

"Hold the girl."

"Sometimes I get down with guilt for the promises I've broken to my younger self."

"I left you spinning on the carousel."

"Been living without you."

"I wanna rеmember."

"She is mе and I am her."

"Sometimes I just wanna run away."

"Leave behind that old me, start again."

"I'll remember who I'm really made of."

"Never ever let her go."

"Never let you go."

"Sit up, and shut up, and grow up."

"What the hell do they know?"

"The girl in your soul's singing on."

"You owe her the world."

THIS HELL

"Let's go, girls."

"Turns out I'm going to Hell if I keep on being myself."

"Don't know what I did, but they seem pretty mad about it."

"God hates us?"

"Buckle up, at dawn, we're riding."

"You're coming with me."

"This Hell is better with you."

"That makes two."

"The Devil's wearing Prada and loves a little drama."

"Don't know why we're here, but might as well get down and dirty."

"That Satan's looking thirsty."

"Not even he can hurt me."

"Wow, that's hot."

"This life gave us nothing to lose."

"We're going down together."

"Got a ticket for two."

"Got my invitation to eternal damnation."

"Pass the wine, bitch."

"We're going straight to Hell."

CATCH ME IN THE AIR

"Don't you wanna see the world?"

"Don't be scared."

"Are you ready for this girl?"

"Do you dare?"

"Now let's go!"

"I ran away where clouds kiss the mountain peaks."

"I was afraid but you put the wings on me."

"Mama, look at me now."

"Was it fate?"

"Made a prison of our home."

"They will never know."

"The fear of making a mistake."

"The risk you take, the pain you create."

"I hope that you're proud."

"Save each other in every way."

"Look at us now."

FORGIVENESS

"Those same old tears back on my face."

"Ripped out the page, rewrote the play."

"I did away with heroes and villains and old scores."

"The pain isn't done when the battle is won."

"I'm running in circles again."

"I guess I'm not over it yet."

"I'm losing my mind."

"Sometimes I blame you, sometimes I don't."

"Sometimes it flips so fast, I don't know."

"I'm looking for signs."

"Some kind of highway to letting it go."

"Forgivеness is a winding road."

"I swear that I've been here before."

"I never learn."

"I'm still looking for that highway."

"Wondering if I went the wrong way."

"I ain't lost."

"I'll be alright."

"I'm taking two steps back to go forward."

"I'm out of luck but I still got hope."

"Are we nearly there yet?"

HOLY (TIL YOU LET ME GO)

"Heavenly, that was me."

"A vision at seventeen."

"Loves to read, loves to dream."

"You saw a light starting to shine."

"Older and wise, God on your side."

"I paid for your life."

"I was innocent when you said I was evil."

"I took your stones and I built a cathedral."

"Found my peace when I lost my religion."

"All these years I wished I was different."

"I'm holy ’til you let me go."

"Tried to pray the pain away just like you taught me."

"Something had changed."

"I was the martyr who paid for your life."

"They told you that?"

"That's what was the most shocking to me."

"There was no one looking after you?"

YOUR AGE

"Not a secret, not a problem."

"Not a symptom or cure."

"Not a weakness, not a failure."

"I ain't a number you can ever divide."

"You crossed the line by multiplying the lies."

"I survived the social suicide."

"Decisions were not mine."

"You closed me off."

"Now that I'm your age, I just can't imagine."

"Why did you do it?"

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"I'm not a secret."

"I'm not a problem."

"You know what?

"We all have a monster inside of us."

"We have a choice."

"You fucked with my life."

"That will never be me."

"I can see you clearly."

"You better fear me."

[musical-chick-13]

Purple, Yellow, Brown let's gooooooo

💜 Purple: Name one song you're listening to while writing your next/current fanfic. How or why does it help the writing process?

YES I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK ME THIS.

Okay, so we're. On closer to god lockdown for...however long it takes me to finish this (aside from hopefully doing something silly for their anniversary), but I have very much had "Frankenstein" by Rina Sawayama on repeat. The upcoming chapter is where the "negotiation" part of the "kink negotiation" happens, and I think this song is a pretty good representation of River's headspace at that time. Because she's stubborn af and doesn't want to talk about her problems, immersing myself in a musical reflection of where she is emotionally really helps me parse out how to get her through this conversation (and its related personal development) in a way that feels authentic and realistic. This song is a representation of what she feels but isn't saying--and if I know what she's not saying, that makes it easier to figure out what she is going to say.

💛 Yellow: Do you ever alter, highlight, or de-emphasize certain canonical traits in a character? If so, why and describe how.

Oh, if I CAN make a character mentally ill, I'm going to. If a character I like has even a hint of serious emotional or psychological struggles, I am going FULL exploration mode. This is because, as I'm sure everyone is well aware, I am mentally ill, and there is...not a whole lot of discussion or intentional representation of this. And you know what they say: if it doesn't exist, try writing it yourself.

I can and will lean into women being fucked-up in various ways, and I...definitely emphasize those women's love interests being into their deranged behavior.

And I'm probably most likely to de-emphasize a lack of communication skills. Not to the point of completely overwriting it or ignoring it (chapter 3 of closer to god has been kind of a bitch to write sometimes for a reason), but...I like writing characters talking. And for them to really talk, there has to be a way to get them on the same page. The communication difficulties will still be there, but I'm willing to downplay them if I have to.

🤎 Brown: How did you decide to write (or why are you writing) a certain fanfic? (Asker, feel free to choose a specific story you're curious about. You can also let the answerer choose the story.)

I answered this here! But tldr, usually my brain gives me Ideas™ and then I have to write them down before they completely commandeer my ability to mentally function. (Either that or I was procrastinating an assignment, lmao.)

Although for uh. A REALLY unhinged one-shot I have coming up. Pretty much that decision came about from going, "What is the weirdest thing I could write?" and then just. Running with that. (Though it's still primarily the "needing to write down this idea so it doesn't steal my braincells" thing.)

Fanfic ask game!

[splatalopods]

If any of yall bitches expect me to fucking analyze this fest fuck you i go off the rails with this shit i am not gonna do a post anyways here we go

Gear is easiest to cover. Obviously chaos has their gear themed around fish. The fish skill gives it away but the mohawk hat is also hinting at it. The mohawk is similar to the salmonids, its more separated in the gear, but still. I think chaos will heavily revolve around salmonids. Order's gear is octolings. Just octolings. No inklings. The symbol on the helmet is the octoling half of the off the hook symbol, except it's now whole, no squids around. The glasses are motivated by the several mind control octoling glasses we have seen in the past. Simple enough.

Now this. There's a lot to cover. First of all, as of splatoon 2, we have two juddges. Notice how only one Judd is neutral, in the middle. Li'l Judd is hanging off of Octavio, on team chaos. Maybe those matches that you lost by .1% weren't all that fair after all.

Next we'll cover the new squidbeak splatoon members. Callie is wearing Pearl's crown, Marie is wearing Marina's headphones. Callie and agent 4 are on chaos, while Marie, Cap'n Cuttlefish, agent 3, and agent 8 are all on order. Why would Callie go against her own family, after everything that happened? Why would Callie be on the same team as Octavio, after everything that happened? I have no explanation for agent 4 though, maybe she prefers Callie more and just went with her?

For the oe characters, it seems hard to reason why 8 and 3 and Cuttlefish would side with Tartar. 8 amd 3 look a little distressed by it, but Cuttlefish is focused elsewhere. I believe he places his faith in Marina over Pearl, which is new for him, but as we all know, he "doesn't see species". I believe that the rest of the squidbeak followed Cap'n's judgement, aside from Callie and 4. Cq is also there. Just. There. Yknow? Isopadre, however, is team chaos. Going against 8 like that feels off to me, especially after what they did in oe, but who knows? Maybe there's a reason.

Shopkeepers next. Sheldon is neutral. Odd. He seems to have no reason to be neutral, but perhaps it was so no team would have an unfair advantage with weaponry. Spyke, Annie and Floe are all chaos. Spyke i understand, but i can't explain floe and annie. Bisk, Crusty Sean, Murch and Jelfonzo are order. I find it odd how those who sell hats are on chaos and those who sell shoes are on order, but it's probably a random coincidence. The only noteworthy things about the shopkeepers are that Spyke and Annie are rather close (i know lots of people ship that) and Jelfonzo is holding onto tartar. Maybe he isn't, but it looks that way.

The salmonids are chaos and the octarians are order. But why are the octarians - the most feeble minded ones, specifically - going against Octavio? And doesn't it seem odd that Octavio is flanked by two salmonids?

The idols i wanted to idolize last because i'll be honest - i can't pinpoint a damn thing. Pearl has two killer wails on the side of chaos. Rina has three hyperbombs for order. But their outfits and attitudes feel so weird. J can't properly guess anything, but they aren't themselves. Their headgear is a key point to this since Callie and Marie has it. Their headgear is bothering me.

Mr. Grizz is neutral. He is at the bottom. He is isolated. It's hard to even tell that it is him.

I have some theories but that's a separate post. I am team order.

[projectsoleil]

Your Alien Isn't Even HOT | FIREFLY | Trial 6.2 | RE: Leo & Pheo

“Oh for fucks sake - cut that fuckin’ shit out, Roger!! Are you tryin’ to get you an' the rest of us fuckin’ mauled early? I'll kill you bitch if you do anythin' stupid!!"

Rina hisses and stomps her foot on the ground several times.

“Talkin’ about all this human experimentation an’ shit makes my skin crawl. I’ve heard and seen and gone through enough of it an’ thought I was finally fuckin’ free of it all. How can you talk so nonchalantly about it? Do you know the pain that people endure when they’re nothin’ more than lab rats? The hopelessness people feel? People’s lives aren’t just somethin’ you can toy ‘round with!"

She dramatically points at Leo and Pheo, narrowing her eyes.

“An’ your alien ULF or… or… or whatever! Whatever the fuck it’s called! Fuck your alien! An’ I mean it in the mean an insultin’’ way! It’s not even that hot an’ I hate it. I hate that ugly thing an’ all the shitty stuff you did to make it! Nini is waaaaayyyyy prettier than that play dough science experiment anyways! She's the prettiest an' smells nice! An’ Haru is waaaaaayyyy better lookin’ than it, too! His muscles can't be compared to!"

She huffs a few times for good measure.

Still, she was getting herself a little too riled up. She exhales slowly, touching her star shaped earrings and the ribbon in her pocket to calm herself down. This wasn’t the time to go ape shit, as much Roger made it tempting. She may have scolded him but she can’t deny the fact that she wanted to leap across her podium and claw at Leo and Pheo.

“...”

They should be here, she thinks. But it is no more than a fleeting thought as she continues to speak.

Inhale.

Exhale.

“Your fuckin’ boss or whatever… you really helpin’ ‘em willingly? You said that they recruited you like this shit is Indeed but - is that still what you wanna do? Help ‘em out and spit on your friends? People you said that you grew to care about?”

Her eyes are burning and staring hard hard at Pheo and Leo, not looking away as she stretches out her wings as wide as she can without hurting herself.

“Well, fuck your boss. Turn against ‘em and help us outta here. If this shit is just a job, well.. Just quit. Rebel, I say. An’ you got quite the expert at rebellin’ right here.”

Rina points at herself.

“Turnin’ your back against your boss ain’t redemption. An’ redemption ain’t somethin’ I wanna give to ya, not a chance in hell. Not from me. Not with everythin’ that you guys have done. Honestly, I wanna just…. AAAAUURRRGGGHHHH, I dunno! Scream or punch or yell or.. Or.. It’s just…”

It’s just…

Looking at Leo, she sees a vast painting. She wasn’t one for art but even she could see the feelings in his eyes as he talked about it. Words and images now stamped onto her heart, too.

Looking at Pheo… she sees a bright, bright red. A flame burning brightly, seeming like it’ll never go out. Someone loved deeply by people here. 

“Just… if those bonds you guys talked about are that important.. Then -- !! Use ‘em to to say fuck you to your boss!”