#this kitty can fit so much trauma in her

[littlestfallenangel]

Read Lynette's Vision backstory

[sakurarisen]

♫☃♏

Headcanon Time!

♫:  three of my muse’s favorite songs

Given Sera would honestly say anything traditional, soft, lyrical - Essentially she'd sit and listen to soft rock or local music, really, along with, ironically, the Stamp song from Remake, she'll never explain why - I'm gonna cheat and pick off my playlist for her. XD The top three would be Speechless - Naomi Scott, This Is Me - Kesha (which admittedly in more modern verses does make her cry when she's able to listen to it and is one of her primary theme songs), and Return of the Snow Queen - Phrynna <3 Though honestly anything Lindsey Stirling releases is also way there, both on her playlist (Foreverglow especially!) and as something Sera herself would listen to!

☃:  does my muse like the holidays?

Sera loves them, especially christmas! There's something comforting about them, especially now that she's older, and she loves christmas especially for being a season where people are generous. For a few weeks out of the year, people reach deep into their heart and become kinder, gentler, more open - Things she wants to see all year round, and she hopes to eventually see the magic of christmas eventually stretch out past those few weeks.

She's also especially fond of holiday decorations - she never really got to see those as a child, and now that she has her own home and family, she's prone to going all out and decorating everything she can, especially if it's sparkly and shiny! <3 Sparkly easter eggs, glitter and fake snow, lights and sparkles... She loves all of it, and never fails to get lost in the magic of the holidays! <3

♏:  something my muse obsesses over

TW: Abuse mentions ahead.

Tending to Zack's sword and doing chores. Although it's way too big and heavy for her, very nearly matching her height, Sera will stay up all night to clean it and make sure it's ready for use the following day, even if it doesn't appear to need tending to. Likewise, she's forgo sleep to get her household tasks done, or to run errands and take care of deliveries - If she has anything left to do at the end of the day, she simply can't sleep. It weighs on her and leaves her restless, and more than once Zack's woken in the middle of the night to her in the kitchen washing dishes rather than actually sleeping beside him.

In truth, it's not so much of an obsession, though it certainly presents itself as one, and is more in line with her traumas; Sera will call it a need to be a 'good kitty' to those close enough to her she feels safe being completely honest with, and it ties in both with her nickname of 'Kitten' from Zack and her past abuse. Being 'kitten' is something of a personal shield for her (for reasons I won't get into here because that's a meta/HC in and of itself) and serves as her last line of defense, and she desperately wants to be 'good' - She wants to be dependable. She wants to be reliable. Upbeat. Not a bother. Helpful. Someone people look at and smile, not roll their eyes and get tired of whenever she's in the same room as them.

If she gets everything done she needs to, nobody has a reason to complain about it. If his sword is clean and tended to, it's one less weight on his shoulders, and one less task he has to worry about. If she can keep the kitchen clean then nobody can worry about it, or call her out on it not being sparkling. Work done on time, or even better early, means nobody else is put out because of her. She's not a disappointment, and nobody will be angry or upset or disappointed in her. She's kitten, and she's been good and helpful!

....Right?

[charliemwrites]

Hybrid AU with Ragdoll!Reader and Siberian-mix!Konig

Reader is a rescued cat hybrid that Laswell's sister in law has been taking care of for the last 3 months. When she meets this little ragdoll kitty, so bright and friendly and curious, she immediately thinks of the 141. Hybrids have a lot uses in the government. Sometimes combative, sometimes therapeutic. The 141 could use a companion animal, given the close call Soap recently had and the general trauma the whole squad has.

With the kitty's permission and cooperation, they assess her as a possible therapy placement. She tests so well and so high that Laswell (again, with consent) immediately starts paperwork to place her with the 141 before even bringing it up to Price.

He's a bit skeptical at first. Even without being a combat hybrid, their jobs are high stress, very dangerous, and not very stable. But Laswell convinces him to at least meet Ragdoll.

They do introductions at the sister-in-law's house, where the kitty will be most comfortable. Ragdoll takes one sniff of him and starts purring like a little engine. He's visibly surprised, and Laswell can barely hold back her grin as the kitty climbs into his lap. They spend the rest of the afternoon discussing arrangements while his new hybrid naps because obviously he can't say no now.

Price becomes her primary handler. They move her to his barrack and give her a week to settle in, but she's not a skittish thing by any means. Wants to follow him everywhere, curls up in his bed, meows sadly at the door when he leaves her alone. It becomes clear very quickly that the usual introduction manuals are too slow for her.

Kitty meets Kyle next. Again, instant purrs. She presses her cheek into his palms, then wriggles her way closer to brush up against his cheek. Lets out a little "mrrp!" when he stutters out a pleasantly surprised, "hello there." She nibbles at the brim of his hat and grins when he gently redirects her, chirping at this fun new friend.

Two for two, Price and Kyle decide to introduce her to Simon and Johnny. They let her explore the common room first, get comfortable, and then call the other two in. Kitty watches from behind Price as Simon and Johnny enter.

Johnny is a dog hybrid with Simon as his primary handler. Price has faith that his sergeant will behave well with the new kitty, but he's not sure of what her reaction will be. Johnny's obviously, visibly excited, tail wagging, but Simon gets him to sit and wait while she makes the first move.

It takes absolutely no time at all for her to pad out from behind Price and approach. Simon goes first, offering a hand. But she barely even sniffs him before cuddling up to him, pawing curiously at his mask. He lets her, clicking his tongue when she dislodges it a bit, but then he gently nudges her towards Johnny.

His ears are perked forwards, tail still swishing. Kitty's ears are twitching, eyes big and curious. But her tail is up and curved curiously, not even a little fluffed. She gets in real close to his face, sniffs, then bumps her forehead against his chin. Which is when he loses patience and licks a big stripe up her cheek. She mews indignantly, ears going airplane mode, but thankfully doesn't swat at him.

It literally couldn't go better. She's a perfect fit.

Over the next few months she settles in with them happily, an absolute dream of a hybrid. Not very verbal, at least through human speech, but perfectly communicative and incredibly friendly.

She chirps whenever one of the 141 enters a room, has a different tone for each of them. Purrs if one of them so much as looks at her, all slow blinks and little smiles. Chitters when she sees them running outside through the windows.

Even grooming is relatively easy. She lets them brush out her floofy tail without much fuss, only trying to retreat if they catch a tangle. Readily gives up her hands to trim her claws. Even opens her mouth for them to brush off her fangs after raw meals.

She curls up with Simon on bad days, warm and purring, breathing little puffs of air against his collarbone. Lounges with Kyle after hard missions, nuzzling against him while he pets her soft ears. She spends hours upon hours in Price's office, curled up on his lap while he does paperwork or talks over the phone, kneading biscuits into his stomach.

Her friendship with Johnny is maybe the most surprising. They play wrestle just about every night, rolling around on the rough carpets in the common room and nipping at each others ears. She'll pounce on him, little teeth flashing, but almost always get bodied by his larger stature. The others will let them play until one of them - usually Johnny - gets too excited and makes the other yelp. At that point, Price or Simon will usually scoop one of the hybrids up and tsk at them for getting rough.

She's the 141's precious kitty, sweet and friendly and outgoing. The whole base knows her, though she's never far from one of her boys. And they know what it means if Ragdoll doesn't like someone.

It's rare, which is why it raises neon red flags. The first time is a new recruit that reaches to pet her without introducing himself first. She twists around on him, but usually even that would be recoverable. Except when he keeps trying to touch her, she gets a whiff of him and hisses, scrambling away.

The guy doesn't last long.

It happens again a few weeks later with a nurse meant to be giving her checkup. She gets low to the table, tail poofing up, and growls low in her throat. When the nurse rolls her eyes and tells Price to just hold his hybrid still so they can get things over with, he knows instantly that his little ragdoll was right to react that way.

With that in mind, it's no surprise that no one trusts Philip Graves when he visits their base and she takes an instant dislike to him. He introduces himself correctly, but she still hard reverses away from him, nose scrunched up. Ears back, tail fluffing up, she slips behind Price and glares from around his arm.

Problem is, Graves is used to dog hybrids. He's great with them. Kitties... not so much, even with a manual. Ends his week at the base with a couple of proper bite marks and an itchy scratch on his hand.

Given her reaction, Simon and Johnny aren't too shocked when he betrays them in Las Almas.

When a team from KorTac is scheduled for a joint assignment, the 141 is bracing for a similar reaction. Especially because they have their own cat hybrid - some big mixed breed.

Kyle even suggests keeping Ragdoll inside for initial introductions on the tarmac, but they all know that's not actually viable. Their kitty wouldn't talk to them for the rest of the day if they left her out like that.

So Price double checks that her little bell-collar is on and brings her out to meet the KorTac team.

Their cat hybrid is even bigger than expected - no wonder he's a combat placement despite being a domestic breed. He keeps his face hidden behind a big black hood with cutouts for his ears, fluffy tail slightly tangled-looking.

Price hasn't even finished introductions with the KorTac team when she makes a rolling little chur noise, bright and curious. The bigger hybrid zeros in on her instantly, ears flicking. She pads out from behind the captain and slips away before he can catch her. Any calls for her to come back are fully ignored.

She trots right up to the Austrian and mrrps again, pausing mid-step, waiting for a response. The other hybrid doesn't respond - at least he doesn't seem to.

"Sorry, kitten, but he doesn't really do the cat noises," Declan tries to tell her. But he's also ignored, and no sooner has he spoken than she's getting into the other cat's space, continuously making little "brr" noises.

And then to everyone's shock, he's bending down to greet her in return, nuzzling her cheek and forehead through the hood. She starts to purr, pressing up close, tail swishing lazily. A noise erupts from him, deep and rough, rattling in his chest. Johnny jumps and snatches at her shirt, dragging her back to the safety of their team.

She mewls sadly, arms extended to reach for him.

"He's growling, Doll," Johnny corrects, arms curling around her middle. For the first time ever she starts to wriggle. "He's too big for you to mess with."

"I... wasn't growling," the Austrian pipes up. "I apologizes if I caused alarm."

Johnny shoots him an incredulous look.

"Then what was that?" Kyle asks, confused.

"I don't... often purr."

Price takes one look at their still-wiggly kitty and the Austrian leaning towards her, as if wanting to follow, and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Shit."

[lizzieheartsfanclub]

The most effective thing about Ever After High is that every student has their own personal struggle that adds another element to just how life-ruining the destiny system is.

Apple is so terrified of what will happen to her if she doesn’t follow her destiny, that she is willing to compromise everyone else’s happiness to make sure it happens. This disregard for other people is only encouraged by the influential adults in her life.

Ashlynn has to be a servant to an abusive family and live knowing that the ultimate end to her supposedly happy ending is dying to set the stage for her daughters traumatic backstory, starting the whole cycle over again with no chance for any of them to escape.

Blondie feels so pressured to fit in to a deeply classist/monarchist society and ashamed of her parentage that she constantly presents a fake version of herself to everyone she knows, even her best friends.

Briar has to spend her whole life waiting for the moment her destiny comes and she falls asleep for a century. She knows that when she’s woken up, she will be forced to marry a boy dozens of years younger than her who she’s never met and live knowing that everyone she ever loved is dead and gone, the very things that she watched cause her mother’s emotional breakdown.

Cedar’s father was so afraid of watching her repeat his mistakes that he overcorrected, making it impossible for her to ever learn lessons for herself. She is also forced to share incredibly personal details with anyone who asks her questions, and can’t be trusted by her friends with any of their secrets, and it’s all because of her father’s past trauma.

Cerise has to hide who she truly is and never gets to see her family together and happy despite the fact that her parents have potentially the most healthy and mutually beneficial marriage in the whole franchise.

Daring was groomed from birth for a destiny that ends up not actually being his at all, leaving him aimless, feeling as though he has no purpose and has wasted his entire life.

Darling is forbidden by patriarchy and destiny to become a knight, the only thing she really wants, and at which she would be better than both of her brothers. She has to hide who she is and what she loves from everyone she knows

Dexter lived his whole life never knowing what his destiny would be but also knowing that whatever it was he’d have to commit to it forever the moment he discovered it at Legacy Day.

Duchess has spent her whole life knowing that the story she’s commited to living out ends in tragedy for her, and then had to watch the very people she’s been jealous of for years because of their seemingly happy endings give up those endings, while Duchess, loyal and rule following Duchess, is still stuck with her tragedy.

Faybelle tries so hard to commit to what she sees at her destiny that she’s never had a real friend in her life. Even still, no one recognizes her for all that effort and all she’s given up to be a suitable villain. Everyone is more afraid of Raven, who doesn’t even want to be evil.

Hunter has to constantly go against his moral compass to fulfill his destined role as a Huntsman and to try and make his father proud of him.

Kitty has been taught over and over again to value her Mother’s approval over all else, even at the expense of her friends. Her destiny is to create mischief, but how much more mischief can a dissolving world take before it’s too much?

Lizzie finds it almost impossible to express love or care for anyone else due to her mothers excessive conditioning that’s nearly akin to brainwashing. The saddest thing might be that her mother is actually, in her own way, trying her best to prepare Lizzie for a world that will only ever see her one way—as a villain. Now she lives in Ever After, princess to a kingdom that might not even exist for much longer, having given up everything for a destiny that may soon be impossible.

Maddie is a refugee forced from her home into a world she barely understands at a tender age. But she cannot express any angst or negative feelings about this circumstance, because to do so would go against her character. She lives in a world obsessed with destiny and stories while not even knowing if she’ll ever be able to return home and live out her story.

Raven is judged by almost everyone around her for her mothers crimes, many of which were required of her by destiny in the first place. She is nearly forced to commit to becoming a tyrannical megalomaniac (and almost falls into it herself, several times) who would be sentenced to lifelong punishment and torture for committing acts that weren’t even her idea in the first place, and the one punishing her would have been the very girl who begged so often for her to stop being so difficult and just follow her destiny.

[phlurrii]

I decided to give the ol series a re-read, but something struck me.

Over time, Meau’s nature was changed from Hardy to Docile…

So that means Meau is now supposed to be viewed as Docile now…

Ah, yes. That is a docile creature right there 🤣🤣🤣

This means either Meau is usually this gentle, meek creature but that nature got thrown out of the fucking window out of sheer unyielding parental rage (Which is TERRIFYING, albeit justified.)

OR

That Meau used to be a Hardy, Strong-willed creature but the trauma of their only child being taken and experimented on and their grandchild being a some twisted gene-spliced experiment, was just SO much for them to handle, that it fundamentally changed their personality forever. Grameau isn’t as hardy and strong-willed as she used to be, she’s more passive and mild now (and easily swayed by her children/grandchildren wanting to be spoiled), but can still get up to Mew Mischief and have fun with the little ones in their care

As I saw this ask and began to scroll, even tho all the images were blurred due to tumblrs ask settings, I immediately knew what each one was and slowly began to cackle progressively louder at your very good point XD

Meau’s original nature and characteristics were actually based on the event mew I got like a decade ago, that was before I decided to break open Pokémon Red’s crumbled cookie of a coding base and drag both her and Noe out of it. Natures didn’t exist till Gen 3 so it was actually impossible to reroll or get her correct nature without redoing the 6-10 hours process repeatedly till I somehow landed the exact combo I needed ;w;…

Short to say that was NOT happening XD I instead got VERY lucky with her nature/characteristic as it ended up being just as fitting as her previous ones! She is both a docile and hardy lil kitty, which again was super lucky given I wanted her to have a neutral nature stat wise! Her new characteristic I found to be super endearing and I just,, overall was happy with it!!!

Though you pose a REALLY good point and if I hand to go with a cannon reason as to why it was changed, I would agree on that first one. She is a docile lil thing most of the time, unless actively antagonized, she doesn’t much care; but when you mess with her only child? And torture that child?

“So you’ve chosen treason then.”

[spicywidealmond]

can we have an explanation of this au? i relaly like it and the designs n stuff n im actully curious,,,

TW; DEATH , STRONG THEMES , TOXIC THINGS IG

"It's a slightly chaotic AU, especially regarding the characters' pasts and relationships. I'll highlight some things:

My AU doesn't have a chronological order, and there are some plot holes, I believe.

-Ages:

The characters' ages don't align with canon events, so:

TDI: Everyone is 25 years old.

XTRA: Alejandro and Sierra are 24 years old, Blaineley is 36.

TDROTI: Everyone is 23 years old.

TDPI: Everyone is 21 years old.

TDI2023: Just turned 18 years old.

TDRR: A special case since there are many, so here's the list hehehe: Geoff and Brody: 25 and 24.

Jacques and Josee: 28 and 29.

Carrie and Devin: 19 and 21.

MacArthur and Sanders: 30 and 29.

Owen and Noah: both 25.

Kitty and Emma: 21 and 23.

Crimson and Ennui: 26 and 27.

Jay and Mickey: both 16.

Ellody and Mary: both 20.

Stephanie and Ryan: 31 and 32.

Lorenzo and Chet: both 17.

Tom and Jen: 26 and 25.

Rock and Spud: both 21.

Laurie and Miles: both 23.

Kelly and Taylor: 16 and 45.

Gerry and Pete: both 57.

Dwayne and Jr: 40 and 14.

Leonard and Tammy: 21 and 22.

My AU has arcs to guide it, currently, there are 4, and I'll give a summary:

ARC 1: Zoey and her revenge. Zoey and Mike broke up because of Mal; this upsets Zoey. She starts to lose her mind and begins to harm others, almost killing Wayne and Trent. All of this happens over 9 months until a mistake lands her in jail.

ARC 2: Scarlet Association. Here, there are new villains who want to make life impossible for others. Scarlet and Max are villains at first but later betray the association for good reasons. After this, the real villains appear: Zoey, Josee, and Nichelle. During this time, Zoey and Nichelle die. Nichelle is murdered by Raj as the trauma begins to affect him to the point of becoming somewhat crazy. Zoey is murdered by Shawn as he gets angry at everything and in a fit of rage kills her XD. Josee realizes the damage she's done and decides to redeem herself thanks to Jacques and Wayne.

ARC 3: Consequences and Secrets. After defeating the Scarlet Association, there are many physical and psychological damages. Those from TDI2023 are greatly affected, especially Raj and Wayne. Luckily, Wayne falls in love with Julia, and Bowie helps Raj overcome his trauma. Also, other characters like Chase or Caleb begin to have traumas until, in an accidental act, Chase kills Priya. This affects Caleb and Emma (I'll explain in another post). There's also a strong lore about Chris's past. There was a group of friends called 6teens, which included Chris, Don, Linda, Josh, Gerry, and Pete. There were many problems, notably Linda falling in love with Gerry, but he rejected her, causing Linda to commit suicide. One day, Gerry sets the school on fire, leading to the group's separation. Gerry did all this out of LOVE.

ARC 4: Love Island. This is the most recent, there isn't much lore as it's recent.

And that's the explanation I can give at the moment. If you have more questions, let me know, as I can answer them."

[hiccupbutpurple]

I got reminded of your age regression fic post that I have a small headcanon that Krogan is an age regressor/or just someone who really enjoys acting childish and playing with toys an$ being a kid because he had no childhood to speak of, at times due to stress, and then it pooled down into ideas towards how Hiccup and Viggo would react to it. Especially since Krogan would have kept this fact a secret due to the fear of having some of the few toys he has to play with by himself taken away from him since that has happened before.

Viggo at least already knows Krogan has a stuffed toy he sleeps with, her name is Kitty, and when one of them notices that Krogan is starting to shut down/revert, Krogan is terrified and just shuts down more because despite his fear of judgement and backlash, the urge to cry is too strong and it feels good to cry because it helps him feel a little better.

A resin for this happening is that Krogan gets captured or something, he’s branded again during his time in there, possibly worse, etc.

Hiccup and Viggo though, are more than open to him during the time he’s relapsed/in his regressed state (if that’s the right word), so that when he comes back out of it, he is all parts confused because in most cases he’s brutally punished for regressing until he comes back out of the state- the longest he’s gone is about a year, and even then, the only reason he would come out of the state is after he just started being ignored.

Idk the silly thoughts. Never gotten to put it in a fic though. (I’m probably going to do more research on the topic as I do this though:)

Ahahahah yes that’s so cute! Honestly the httyd fandom is kinda barren of age regression content (there is some but not a whole lot) lol so it would be cool to see more! And yeassss Krogan would be so cute with caregiver Viggo and Hiccup!

Considering I headcanon Hiccup to age regress and of course I’ve pictured Viggo with him, I feel like Viggo would be that calm and strict but gentle kinda caregiver. No nonsense but he still understands that kids will be kids and that involves some silliness sometimes. I feel like he would indulge a little in games on occasion if Hiccup (or in this case Krogan) really pleaded with him! He would probably really enjoy teaching as well! He would be very observant and I love him knowing about Kitty! Maybe he would subtly reference her when he thinks Krogan needs to calm down a little once Krogan gets more comfortable with the idea of having actual caregivers.

I think Hiccup would be able to convince Viggo to get into the more fantastical games and imagination with Krogan too. Hiccup basically already interacted with kids in canon but only briefly so we didn’t see to much but I think he’d be fairly indulgent (like how he invites the dragon explorers in for food but just lets them play with Toothless easily), he’s not overly authoritative with kids (Viggo would fit that better) unless there is danger or something important I think but that’s not so say kids don’t listen to him, just that he’s more easy going, if a little unsure and awkward at times. I think he would love sharing drawings and creating stuff (both as caregiver and regressor).

And yes fear of judgment (especially when critiqued for it before) absolutely would make him even more scared and wanting to hide it! (I’ve got a bit of a scene of that for my Hiccup one when he gets overwhelmed by everyone around him and regresses further leading to a breakdown and I can def see that happening with Krogan, he deserves a good cry!)

Also ahahahah being regressed and tortured would be so dark and scary, not to mention the possible long term impacts of associating a potentially previously safer mindset with newfound trauma, or getting even more reason to struggle with regression if there was already childhood trauma within the regression. And Viggo and Hiccup making him feel okay and telling him it’s alright would be so sweet!

Also just for extra info cause I can’t help myself! I’m not exactly an expert and can only speak from my experiences but i see a lot of things about people fully not having any awareness of older age, and that can happen, but it’s also possible to have awareness rather then fully being small and both can still be involuntary and voluntary. One thing as well is teen regression (which is another element of the story I’m working on!) is another thing that has potential too! From what I can tell and based on myself, there’s a tone of different experiences of age regression both voluntary and involuntary. I love the idea of him choosing to act childish too to make up for childhood, that I would also count as age regression personally, considering it’s a coping mechanism!

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

tti episode 3

“Last time on Total! Takes! Island! An Awake-a-Thon tested the patience of every camper, and left a few with some pretty wicked injuries. Caesar won the victory for the Flying Fujoshis, and Joner hit the hay and left his buddies Michael and McLovin behind. Will any alliances stay intact for more than just one episode? Will Frollo recover from his blunt force trauma? Find out today on Total! Takes! Island!”

---

The mess hall feels more crowded than usual today as every camper huddles around their table. Most are still sleepy from the past challenge, but some are in full gear. 

“We need to get our act together,” Max insists, drawing out a little game plan on his plate of mysterious brown slop, only pausing to glare at Frollo as he speaks. “We can’t afford to lose over petty personal differences.”

Frollo glares back, his eyes cold and gaze icy. Julia responds with a sigh, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. “So what’s your plan, then, Mr. Man?”

“I don’t appreciate your tone,”

“I don’t appreciate your face!”

“Woah, let’s cool down, alright?” Austin says, holding out his arms between them as if they were to pounce on each other at any moment. “Take a chill pill, baby!”

Max pushes his arm down. “I’d ask you to kindly keep your peace and love away from me, thank you,” 

Austin sighs and sits back. “Only trying to keep us together, mate. We’re on a team, aren’t we?”

Only Kelly seems to agree as everyone glares daggers at each other. Max sighs. “As much as I hate to admit it, the hippie is right. As I said, we need to put our personal differences aside if we want to keep winning,”

“He’s right,” Scruffy chimes in, swallowing a spoonful of slop without a second thought. Everyone winces. “Speaking from the lens of a TDI historian, the most successful teams, alliances, and friendships are built off of practical cooperation.”

“Thank you,”

Julia rolls her eyes. 

Things are looking much more peaceful over at the Fujoshis table as they chat merrily. Courtney is wedged at the very end of the table, using McLovin as a shield to keep them away from Mal, who’s surrounded by Ass and Patrick. 

“And I’m covered by the company health insurance, so if I sustain any lasting injuries, it comes straight out of McLean’s pocket,” Caesar chuckles, using his spoon to form the breakfast gruel into pancake-shaped patties, somewhat fit for consumption. 

Bonnie shakes their head in bewilderment. “And you got all this stuff, how, exactly? Threatened to sue?”

“Not exactly,” he smiles. “Back home, I run a very popular Total Drama-themed Hunger Games simulation show on local cable and online. It got so big, the execs here threatened to sue. I sent my fans after them and they issued a formal apology, which included an invitation to their newest season.”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve seen that!” Peter says, nodding enthusiastically. “It’s so awesome, my friends and I take bets on who wins!”

Bonnie scoffs, shaking their head with a smile. “Lucky,” 

“I threatened to sue, but the court dismissed my case,” Patrick chimes in. “On the grounds of not actually having been on the island.”

“If only the courts were evil,” Bonnie jokes. 

“If only the courts were evil in my favor,”

Bonnie chuckles. Kitty reaches into their apron pocket and pulls out a handful of candy and hands it to Patrick. “For your troubles,” they whisper. 

Patrick blinks. “Thank you,”

“Alright, campers!” Chris shouts. “Your next challenge starts in ten minutes- be prepared to bring it!”

“Corny. Same line he used in the original,” Scruffy mutters. 

---

The dodgeball emporium is already set up, a shiny glass athletic center that puts the rest of the island’s amenities to shame. That can only mean one thing- Chris is very enthusiastic about going all out for today's torture.

“I still feel exhausted,” Kelly sighs, stretching. “I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night, either.”

“Bad dreams, baby?” Austin asks. 

“One of the girls was snoring,” 

All of the girls and such on the Inane Anons turn to Michael, who looks back, confused. “Wasn’t me. I was up all night, too,”

Kelly shrugs. “It’s no problem. Just a bit tired,”

“Today’s challenge is everyone’s favorite: dodgeball! The first rule is don’t get hit. Second is that if you catch the ball, the thrower is out and the catcher gets to bring another team member out onto the court! And some other stuff,”

“Great. Okay, we only need five players,” Max says. “Who’s gonna sit this out with Kelly?”

“No, no- I’ll play!” Kelly insists. Max raises an eyebrow, but shrugs. "I guess it makes sense to save the best for last. Get in under the radar and then surprise them last minute. Frollo, Staci, you're on. I'll go too, and-"

“If Kelly’s going, I am too, baby!” 

"Whatever. Just don't try to "make love not war" them to death,"

Courtney, Mal, Patrick, McLovin, and Peter stand opposite to them, not looking very happy. Courtney turns to the rest of their team. “Just focus on dodging for now. If you see an opportunity, take it, but no one get themselves hurt,”

“But if you do-” Mal interjects, much to Courtney’s annoyance. “There’s no shame in losing!”

“Yes there is,” Patrick says. 

“Alright, ready? Set? Play ball!” Chris blows into his whistle. 

Courtney sighs. “Just focus on keeping in the game!”

A ball immediately flies from the opposite side and tags Peter directly in the neck. Staci and Austin high-five. He wheezes on the ground for a few minutes as his teammates stare in shock, and then Chef drags him off the court. 

“What did I just ask?!”

Another ball flies by and Patrick barely dodges, though it bounces off the glass wall and smacks McLovin in the back of the head, flattening him on the ground. 

Courtney sighs as Chef scrapes McLovin off the floor with a shovel. “Alright, it’s on!”

They aim for Frollo- the easiest target, since he’s still all bruised from his earlier divine encounter- and toss the first ball from their side. 

Frollo holds out his Bible like a shield. “The Power of Christ compels y-” 

The ball hits him in the gut and he wheezes, drops to his knees, and then curls up on the floor. Max groans and puts his head in his hands. 

Kelly yawns and weakly tosses a ball, which simply bounces across the floor and lands at Patrick’s feet with a weak squeak. Patrick picks it up and in one throw, takes out Kelly and a poor, derelict Austin trying to help them stay awake. 

Mal swerves across the court, dribbling her ball and dodging throws from the remaining Inane Anons before throwing it, hitting Max with such a force he’s thrown into the glass behind them. She turns to smirk at Courtney, and is promptly hit in the head with a throw from Staci. 

Patrick aims straight for Staci’s face, but they catch the ball and use it to take both Patrick and Courtney out. The Inane Anons win the round with a cheer. 

“We need to get in gear,” Courtney says, rubbing their sore side. “Not to live up to my namesake, but I’m gonna go all Type A on this team if we don’t start working together!”

“I agree completely,” Mal smirks. Courtney glares at her. 

Kelly falls asleep on the bleachers, and Michael takes their place. Julia, O, and Scruffy also step in, and the Fujoshis come up with Courtney, Ass, Caesar, Bonnie, and McLovin. 

"You sure you can handle this?" Ass asks Caesar. "Getting hit in the hair will still count you out."

He chuckles. "If I can swerve paparazzi and desperate fans on an average trip to the grocery store, I can handle this, easy. Bonnie? Care to join?"

Bonnie jogs over and the two stand back to back.

---

BONNIE: "I mostly do online gaming now, but back before I had access to my computer setup and my tablets, I used to go to the Chuck-e-Cheese's," they smirk. "Not to brag, but you're looking at the regional skee ball and Pop-a-Shot champion."

---

Bonnie and Caesar give each other a smile before team up sweeping the game in the blink of an eye, taking out three Anons and leaving the rest to Courtney and Ass. Only McLovin gets tagged out by a seemingly very-determined Michael, to which he glares.

Courtney grins, some hint of assurance on their face. “I’m gonna step out to save energy. Ass and Bonnie, stay in,”

“I’ll Sha-Go too!” Sha-Mod bounds forward. 

“Erm, no offense, but…” Caesar gestures to the picture taped over their face. “Aren’t you a little visually impaired?”

“My other senses are heightened,”

Caesar shrugs. “Our funeral,”

"If I may?" Mal asks, smiling sweetly. "Peter hasn't gotten a chance to play again."

Peter looks up from where he'd been watching a bug crawl around on the floor with big eyes.

"No offense, but this isn't exactly taking turns on your brother's tricycle," Caesar says.

Courtney nods, glaring at Mal with a suspicious stare. "Yeah... I don't know if he's really up to the task,"

"I have faith in him," Mal smiles confidently. "Go take a breather, Caesar."

Caesar rolls his eyes and walks off as the game begins, much to Bonnie's and Courtney's dismay.

Julia takes out Sha-Mod almost instantly, and barely misses Peter. “Ow!” 

A flash of anger crosses Mal’s face. “Come ON! AIM!” Everyone raises an eyebrow at her, and she catches herself, changing to a smile and a nervous laugh as she pretends to help Sha-Mod up. 

Peter is taken out seconds later, and as Mal stifles a grin a stray ball catches her in the stomach and she collapses. Peter groans and is dragged off court. Sha-Mod follows. They leave Mal on the floor. 

Ass and Bonnie aim for Michael, but Julia tags out Bonnie just in time, distracting Ass long enough for Kelly to swoop in and steal the lead. 

“One more game, one more chance!” Courtney insists. “Patrick, you’re in. Anyone else who thinks they can-”

“I- I wanna try,” Peter wheezes. 

Ass and Courtney raise an eyebrow in sync. 

“I don't think that’s such a good idea, little buddy,” Patrick says, smirking slightly. 

“I have… to prove my worth,”

"I say we give him one last chance, huh?" Mal smiles.

Courtney starts to say something, but the rest of the team cuts in. Ass shrugs. “Whatever, just don't get hit!”

Patrick, Peter, McLovin, Caesar, and Sha-Mod stand against Kelly, Austin, Max, Scary, and Scruffy. 

“Piece of cake!” Sha-Mod grins directly before Kelly aims straight for the jugular. 

Patrick dodges a ball from Scary, watching it bounce against the glass wall and fall to his feet with a chuckle. He picks it up and looks forward just in time to see a coordinated attack from Scruffy and Max coming straight towards him. 

“Not that face,” he whimpers before both balls hit him square between the eyes.

Caesar dodges a throw from Austin, catching another from Scruffy as he stands at the line between the two sides of the court. He tosses a ball, missing Kelly, before hearing a faint giggle and looking up towards the ceiling where Scary is hanging from on all fours with a ball in their teeth. They drop it- it hits Caesar, bouncing off his hair, and then ricochets on McLovin, leaving Peter alone on the court.

“Come on, Peter, you got this!” Ass shouts. 

Peter swallows a nervous lump in his throat and looks back at the Anons.

“Do you really think he can make it?” McLovin asks, holding an ice pack to his jaw. 

“No, but it’s a nice thought, isn’t it?”

Peter trembles, the ball in his hands shaking violently as he stares down the opposing team, who aren’t looking too concerned at all. Max gives a slight I told you so look to the rest of his team, then a smile Kelly and Austin, and then all three of them part, allowing Scary to walk through. Peter quivers and weakly throws the ball. It bounces a few paces forward and stops at Scary’s feet. 

He picks it up, grins wickedly, and then tosses it directly upwards. 

Max cups his face to shout. “Seriously?! He's right-”

As it falls, Scary does a tight, neatly performed spin-kick and launches the ball with her heel, sending it out with such a force that when it hits Peter, it sends him directly through the glass and onto the beach below. 

Max's jaw drops. Everyone falls silent. Even Chris looks mildly concerned. The Flying Fujoshis stare in shock, all looking at each other as if to say, “So, who’s gonna get the body?”

Then, the silence lifts. 

“And with a sweeping victory, the Inane Anons have won the game!” Chris shouts against the cheers of the winning team. “Chef, bring Peter to the medical tent and call in a chopper, he’s outta here! No elimination ceremony tonight!”

The Fujoshis stare in complete dead silence before a few interns force them out of their seats.

“That was rough,” Sha-Mod says, shaking his head as they walk back to the cabin. The picture of Lightning quivers in the wind, but stays put. 

Patrick shrugs. “Eh, he had it coming. It’s the law of the wild on this island- natural selection. The weakest go first,”

Sha-Mod frowns, but doesn’t respond further. 

The Anons, on the other hand, seem to be doing just fine as they gather for lunch in the mess hall. “How’s this, baby: you, me, the Christian square, and the history square?” Austin asks, walking alongside Kelly. 

“Are you sure? I mean, Frollo is kind of…” they gesture to Frollo, who’s standing over Peter’s cast-covered body and sprinkling holy water on him while he tries to weakly protest. 

“That’s why he can’t say no, baby!”

“Ok, I guess that makes sense. What about… Staci? Staci is nice,” Kelly smiles, gesturing to Staci as they growl at Michael for staring. 

“Sure, baby, whatever you say. Yeah!”

Staci sits back down on the bench and huffs. Scary emerges from under the table as if she were rising from underwater and sits next to them. “I liked your technique today. Brutal!”

“Thank you,” Staci grins. “My great-great-great cousin twice-removed Bertram actually invented the earliest version of dodgeball, so I’m pretty good at it.”

Max rolls his eyes. “Oh, brother,”

“I heard that!” they snap, brandishing their grimy spoon like a weapon. Scary giggles with delight. 

“Good job out there today, campers! And good work Scary- only three episodes in and we’ve already had to lift someone off the island in a full-body cast!” Chris chuckles, entering the mess hall. Scary smiles wickedly. “Really makes you wonder who’s gonna sustain a life-threatening injury next time- and there’s only one way to find out- here, on Total! Takes! Island!”

[achaiapelides]

Kit's diary

I'm obviously not Cassandra Clare, so all the characters, fictional places and content that happened before this belongs to her.

Summary:

After the events in Secrets of Blackthorn Hall Kit is even more traumatised than before. Not only does his heart hurt from meeting Ty (and Livvy) again, but he's also concerned about his family's well-being, as he sees himself as a danger to them now. While sleeping in his sisters room helped a bit, Tessa and Jem can still see how much he's hurting. After consulting Emma, who obviously also had to deal with a lot of trauma, Tessa convinces Kit to use a diary. Well, if it can calm Emma it can calm everyone, I guess. Even though he's sceptical first, Kit warms up to the idea of letting out all your feelings, thoughts and memories on a piece of paper and starts to describe his life and his feelings to the special someone, whom he dedicated the diary to. With time, Kit learns how to deal with his trauma and his feelings towards the people from his past and starts to heal.

Updates:

To cure your post-SOBH-monday-depression, I will publish a new chapter every Monday afternoon CET, unless I forget. In that case please DO remind me. I'm very forgetful. If I can't publish that day because of something else I will let you know.

You can also find it on Wattpad. Here's the link:

Edit: I also really hate the title of the book, so if you have any suggestions, please comment them here. Thank you.

By the time a part of this is published, I will link it here:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

If you want to listen to some fitting music, I made a KitTy playlist:

KitTy Playlist

To pass the time between updates, here are some other KitTy fanfics that you should read:

KitTy Fanfics

[darkhymns-fic]

Being an angel is pretty inconvenient, huh? (Ch. 2)

Lloyd tries to recover from the trauma of his new wings' transformation. But, there was something more important he needed to do.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving Rating: T Word Count: 2292 Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: For Colloyd Week 2023, Day 2: Birthday Present. Very angsty! Warning for description of injuries ahead.

--

Before all this, Lloyd had been trying to make Colette’s birthday present in secret.

It wasn’t easy to do so during their travels, not unless he stayed up late, making certain that Colette was already fast asleep. His ideas for her present would flit all over the place, changing every night. An animal figurine carved from wood, of one of the many dogs she had befriended on their first journey. Or a bracelet with precious gems inserted within the chain. It could match with the necklace she still wore, hidden beneath her dress to rub against the bands of her key crest.

But with the amount of pain he felt now, Lloyd doubted he could even pick up a whittling knife, let alone make anything.

“Lie still, okay?” he would hear Colette say at times, her touch pressing against the middle of his back. It hurt when she did so, despite how gentle she was. He would then fall beneath the dark waves to find some relief from the pain of his new wings.

These stupid, stupid things.

Lloyd had never really liked his wings in the first place. Always much wider than they needed to be, and when he flew with them, they could almost feel unwieldy, like giant broadswords that he tried to lug around. But it only made him use them more, made him want to get the hang of them. Once the pain of them had gone away, he had rushed headlong into using his wings. Even when Colette had warned him, he still used them for short bursts, for small moments in time. But he always overdid it, like now when he used so much of is mana to grab at the little struggling animal in the water.

Through the haze, he would try to see what his wings had become.

His wings could barely even be called that now, looking almost like skeletal remains. Most of the white feathers on them had fallen off their frame. He could see the jutting bones that stretched high, the sharp angles they made, like some kind of ruined canvas. He hoped that what he saw wasn’t real, that he was just dreaming.

Then he would wake up, and find himself in Colette’s arms, his back so, so heavy.

Around Colette and himself, he would see strips of gauze spread around them like bed sheets. Bits of feathers stuck onto her hands, his feathers, which no longer were of blue filament, but a solid white, dyed pink and gray from both his blood and the river. He felt her lay him carefully, so very carefully on his side so that his wings wouldn’t get in the way of his body.

“How long…” he started, and was already done. He barely had energy for much else.

“Just a few days,” Colette said, and he could hear in her voice that tinge of uneasiness. She was strong, but he could tell she was at her limit with this. “Are you hungry? We have a few gels if that’s all you can swallow.”

“So tired…” he said, then raised his head to her. “…of gels. Too sweet.” Colette always liked the sweeter ones the most.

“Then maybe soup? I made some for Blippy too, and he liked it.” She smiled, and it was like sunshine after a rainstorm. Still, his mind paused.

“Wait…Blippy?”

“Oh! That’s the name of the kitty.” Colette laughed a nervous laugh, the kind she did when she had revealed something she was sure was much too childish. “I thought it fit him.”

Lloyd tried to turn and find the shape of Blippy, and right there, by Colette’s knee, the animal looking up at him with soft and golden eyes.

“Heh…Blippy…cute…” And just like that, he passed out again, but easier this time. Not in a mess of feathers and blood, but with a tenderness around him, where the edge of promised pain was still a distance away now.

--

He kept thinking about the time that passed. Had it been a few days? A week?

Maybe he still had time to make the present. Colette’s birthday was just after the start of spring, when the cloud patterns of the sky changed more frequently, when the flowers by his bedside would finally start to bloom after a dry winter.

All he had to do was heal faster. And wasn’t that an odd thing about angels that Kratos had mentioned before?

“Like Exspheres, Cruxis Crystals shape our mana to do things beyond what our bodies are normally capable of. They can make us stronger or faster. They can even make it easier for us to recover with the aid of healing artes.” He couldn’t remember when this was said—maybe when he had been staying at Dirk’s home. But the words floated to him in sleep, half-convinced Kratos was there by his side again along with Noishe, who always whined for the man’s pets.

“But with Cruxis Crystals, they help use the power of flight by forming wings, and we can stop our bodies’ biological clock to never age, or need sleep, or even need food. We can also heal most major wounds, for the most part, all on our own.” And here, there would be a small chuckle, and maybe Lloyd remembered that the most, because it was something Kratos rarely ever did. “So my wound from your blade must have been serious indeed.”

With his injuries, anyone else would have gone to find a healer, perhaps in one of the villages they had passed through. Lloyd couldn’t see it, but he knew how his back must have burst open to accommodate the new wings that were made of cartilage and bone instead of mana. How his shoulders must have shifted to adapt to it. How his tendons must have snapped.

But Colette said the only thing that would be left was scars, if even that.

“It’s our Exspheres, isn’t it?” Colette had murmured, as she once again shifted him to be more comfortable, hands just out of reach of his wings, in case any small touch would send him shivering. She had no idea how her words echoed another. “If we didn’t have these, then…”

Then he wouldn’t have had these wings in the first place.

Maybe this was the consequence of using his more and beyond what he should have done. Once, he had wanted to throw his Exsphere away, but someone precious had died for it. In the end, he just wanted to keep one part of his original family close, while another was so impossibly far away. It was pure selfishness.

No matter what, these wings were here to stay.

--

If Lloyd guessed right, they had camped at this spot for over a week by now. Down near the river where the kitten had almost drowned, by the smattering of trees where apples hung from their branches, where sometimes he saw Colette reach up for, doing the best she could without tripping in the attempt. Occasionally, there was sun, more felt than seen, heating up bare skin as Colette would help nurse any hurt away. It was hard to tell time, with the way he kept slipping in and out of consciousness like this.

Lloyd always left his projects until the last minute, no matter what it was. He had done sketches of Colette’s possible bracelet, had experimented with different animal poses in his whittling, to see what would stick. And now he could barely see straight, could barely even move his hands to grasp at anything at all. All that he felt pride in doing had everything to do with his hands, but the pain from his back spread throughout his body like poison, making his fingers stiffen, making his palms feel as if they were on fire.

He didn’t want Colette’s birthday to be full of worry and fear, to be full of work to heal his broken body and wings, to watch over him in this same spot in the wilderness, so far away from civilization. He had to heal faster, yet why did he feel he could barely move still, even now?

Every time his eyes opened, he could already feel them, weighing him down, loose feathers powdering the grass beneath him. And then he’d shut them again, more tired than he had ever felt in…forever. Eventually, the pain faded. Slightly, just slightly.

At one point, he heard a soft sound in the corner.

“Ah, Blippy! Not so loud, shh…” Lloyd shifted, blinking his eyes open, slow in every motion. Huh…Blippy?

Oh, that’s right. She had named the kitten. She was always so good with names…

He tried to see where it was, but all he saw at the edge of his vision was a wingtip, white and no longer stained. He focused on Colette then, as much as he could.

“How are you feeding him?” he asked, his voice feeling hoarse, scratching against his throat. The same way his wings scratched against the bone inside him. Stop, stop.

Colette, thankfully, was near him. She sidled even closer, pushing a lock of blonde hair over her ear. “We still have some of Noishe’s food in our packs. I guess we forgot to give it back to Dirk when we dropped him off at your house. But, Blippy seems to like it.”

Lloyd smiled, and it didn’t take as much effort to do so as he worried. Not like with every other part of his body. “Heh… that’s good thinking, Colette…”

The wind blew, making Lloyd shiver. It felt colder for some reason…

Lloyd looked down, realizing just then that he was shirtless. That made a lot more sense now. How long had he been that way?

He snuck a quick glance towards Colette, who just then looked nervous, here and there. “Hm?”

“Ah… I’m sorry, Lloyd. I’m really sorry!”

Her habit of apologies lifted Lloyd from out of the fatigue (and the guilt, and the frustration and so much else) he had been stuck in for too many days straight. Somehow, he got himself to sit up, though not without struggle, not without his legs feeling like they were on pins and needles. At least, maybe he had stopped bleeding now. “What is it? I don’t get why you’re saying sorry…”

Shouldn’t he be the one to say that instead?

Biting her lip, Colette reached over to the side and then, with all the guilt she carried in the entire world, brought out something red and neatly folded. It took Lloyd a moment to realize what it was.

“When…your wings changed, you still had on your jacket and shirt, so…” Her fingers brushed against the fabric with care, tracing the twin rips across the back of his red jacket. They were like gashes, as if someone had taken a knife and tore straight through it. “I don’t know how to mend clothes like Sheena… But, maybe Dirk can fix it later? When we go back… I’m sorry.”

Lloyd stared for just a bit longer. With her being near, he just couldn’t help himself, and laid his head on Colette’s shoulder, hair brushing against her cheek.

“Dork…you know I have a dozen of these, right?”

Yet he knew there was more to it than just the ruined jacket. Colette’s fingers ran across that fabric so tenderly. The last time she did that was when he had lent her one of his own.

“It’s not just that…” Colette said, still looking away. But her voice was near, soft and thrumming down his spine with warmth. “They were…so stuck to your wings, too. I tried so hard to remove them, but… I know it hurt. I know I was hurting you.” She clung the jacket closer, as if she was about to embrace it then. “Sometimes you screamed, and I didn’t know what to do. But I also couldn’t leave it like that on you…”

The wings on his back still felt so raw.

Lloyd’s hands could barely make any motion to move, wanting to hold her badly. So he left them where they were, half-folded on the ground. But he wished he had more strength to hug Colette close, to reach for her hands and feel her skin against his fingertips.

“I can barely remember that,” he admitted. “I wish I could, then I could have told you then that it was fine. I’m sorry I left you alone.”

Colette still looked down at the jacket. “Lloyd…”

He was getting sleepy again. He pressed his forehead against her cheek, trying his best to stay awake, but already failing. “I’ll make it up to you…for your birthday…I really will…”

Maybe a hairpin, with the engraving of a flower, since she hadn’t been allowed to wear those when she was a Chosen. It sounded nice to him, if he could just get his hands to work.

“Ah, it’s okay. Maybe next year?” Colette turned to him, smiling, one hand reaching to gently press a hand to his cheek. “Here, you shouldn’t fall, just in case.”

Lloyd vaguely shook his head. “No, we still have time…before your birthday next month…” Less weeks to go, but he could still finish something. All he had to do was make his hands move.

But he saw the expression pass Colette’s face—briefly, with a tinge of melancholy. She tried to smile it away, but he already guessed. The air felt warmer. The flowers that gathered at the base of nearby trees were in full bloom.

Oh, he thought just then. I missed it.

He fell asleep again, as his hands and back continued to ache, as his wings felt overwhelming above him.

He really did have the worst memory.

[phxntomhives-98]

Father I don't want this marriage - review

I just felt the need to share some thoughts after reading the side stories. It contains spoilers of the main story and the side stories too.

Note, this is very much my own opinion and I don't think I am correct nor I am trying to change your mind.

Do I reccomend it? Yes, if you like romance it is nice. I was mainly here for the angst tho and I am mostly satisfied, not in the way I expected but satisfied. Read it on tappytoon if you can, or just buy some chapter to support the author.

Manhwa or novel? I only read the manhwa, so that one. But some said the novel is amazing so you can have a try.

Opinions:

First, I have to say it. Even if it is annoying. The sex scene were absolutely unnecessary. I am picky when it comes to sex in the stories, for me it should be either present since the beginning (i.e. for smut stories or if it is a topic of the serie that has its own focus, maybe due to trauma or as a way to be more free of the character) or it should mean something. As example: the two characters that are finally reunited, the two that longed for each other for so long and are finally together again, them fighting the urge but being unable to for whatever reason etc. Not the "oh damn, how do I make this longer? let's just add sex". And in neither cases (Max and Jeuvi + the parents) it made sense. Plus it was the first time and they magically did everything right but details. Especially for Legis and Amelia. If they are still going to consume before the wedding, make it after Legis came back from the war. When there are so many feelings unsorted and there is still the relief that they are both there and alive and it just happens. Not them casually sharing the bed and Amelia being horny (which still it is very much valid and all, BUT FOR THE STORY THAT VERSION WOULD HAVE MADE MORE SENSE)

Second pet peeve of the serie: listen I love the slowburn. So I loved that everything took forver. BUT WHY THE FUCK IS THE LAST ARC SO SHORT. Legis died, not died, and went full health in like 3 episodes!!?? WHERE IS THE PAIN? THE SUFFERING? ME WONDERING FOR WEEKS IF THEY ARE GOING TO BE FINE OR NOT?

Pet peeves done, you may leave in peace.

Now I shall go with what I liked eheh

Listen, I would kill for a whole story centred on Legis and Amelia. The angst, the unrequired (as if) love, the drama, the war, the witch hunting, the absolute devotion these two share. Everything is perfect. I could cry and write an essay about them for hours. And they are just so perfect.

Jeuvi, I love her ok. She had a wonderful character development and I am proud of her.

Max, my little kitty lol, every single interaction with Legis is hilarious. I love when he is a red flag for everyone but the FL.

Mikhail as a villain was honestly nice to me, like he just went full psyco mode with tunnel vision and I think it fits him. He did is job in the story so congrats to him. The emperor and Fanfil on the other hand felt a little on the weak side, but probably because the ending was so rushed.

The twins left me with honestly no impression, I almost forgot they were there more than once in the side stories.

I sobbed during the wedding ngl, when Jeuvi pulled the "remember at the beginning, when I didn't want you?" I had to take a moment because I saw all the story flashing in front of my eyes.

It's sad to tell them goodbye but now it truly is finished... Bye everyone, it was a nice journey, hope you have a good life.

[mouselobite]

(shakes ClanGen ocs) These babies can fit so much trauma AND the urge to obsess over battle cats.

It's reminding me so much of the days I used to write obsessively about one woman who caused a divorce by being hot, seduced the wife, murdered her new wife's brother, divorced her, proceeded to Clan hop, married another woman, then married her ex-wife's ex-husband too. She also murdered her kitty fiancée and had her sassy girlfriend killed before all of this.

Somehow, I'm getting that level of drama outta ClanGen. How we're here is not a question, but something we just all accept now and we bond over our goofy murder cats.

Oh, and that reminds me- THE ABANDONED WIVES AND FATHERLESS KIDS CCAN COME JOIN ME IN MY FATHERLESS ABODE. C'MON IN FOLKS!

ABSOLUTELY YOU CAN SOMEHOW MAKE LORE OUT OF THEM EVEN IF YOU HAVE LIKE A BASIC LAYOUT ITS SO FUN

and oh my god i remember in like 6th grade we had like babys first creative writing and i wrote what was essentially a gorey warriors fanfiction because that was like. peak writing to me. I think maybe like a queen had kits and like the father got murked or something something was cooking in my 6th grade mind

ABSOLUTELY!!! i love these goofy asks so much im having a blast

AND YEAAAAAHHHH FATHERLESS ABODE GANG!!!!!

[atozphantomsquadron]

XVIII - Possession

The flight back to Langley was uneventful, steeped as I was in my newfound sense of desire.  I held hands with Cole the whole flight: we were inseparable except when either of us used a lavatory.  During one of those apart times I watched Kitty and Cyrus, across the fuselage from us, trying to come to grips with what had happened in the palace.  At times, Kitty even seemed vulnerable, waking up from nightmares and not being able to get back to sleep unless she cuddled closer to Cyrus.  There was something there, I was positive, just as surely as there was something between me and Cole.

Eventually we found our way back to the CIA, back to our quarters in the basement.  Before returning “home,” though, we needed to be debriefed regarding the events in Jerzaan.  We were certain the Director would be angry about our unauthorized actions in the nation, but instead he showed us fairly good will and clued us in to his own suspicions regarding Yardley.  We had simply been the instrument by which Yardley’s removal had taken place, violent as it was.  In his place, our new handler would be the Director himself, as a side-duty to his regular job directing the entire intelligence network.

The main concern the Director showed was regarding Kitty, and her seeming inability to deal with the traumas she had been through, so his first order of business was ordering her into counseling.  As you can imagine, she was unhappy about it and wanted no part of it, but only some gentle coaxing by Cyrus convinced her it was the right thing to do.  The Director also informed us there may be a forthcoming mission, one with dire consequences which might require our talents, but more work needed to be done on the information, so we would have a couple of days to ourselves.

Those two days were too quick to pass, as we spent much of the down time filing our action reports, conducting housekeeping duties around our quarters, and getting readjusted to being Stateside.  Those times when there was nothing happening, between reports and counseling and cleanups, we spent together as a team, watching movies and playing card games, simply trying to bond together more than we’d been allowed to during the fast transition between Ken and Cole.

Time alone with Cole was precious, too precious to take for granted.  Every moment we could find privacy was spent in each other’s arms.  Despite knowing that our teammates knew full well about our burgeoning relationship, we still felt self-conscious about cuddling and kissing in their presence, almost like we had never left that riverbank.  During the second day, I decided that it would be more convenient for everyone (but primarily for us) if Cole shared my room, and so our second day was spent finally unpacking Cole’s seabag and placing his belongings around the space I had been calling home for over a year.  We negotiated … quite peacefully, I might add … closet space and dresser space for him, which he didn’t need much of, as well as a safekeeping place for the Sword when he was not wearing it.  Eventually he came to make it comfortable, which made it comfortable for both of us.

(Transcriber’s note: I had assumed that Black Ops teams were only called together in time of need, and reported to normal units when they were not on call.  Apparently, due to the “special” nature of this team, they only have one unit they can ever fit in with.  This struck me as kind of a sad situation, but at the same time filled me with anger at my government: how could they basically hold these people under what amounts to indentured servitude while holding over them the threat that the outside world won’t accept them as-is?  This says something not only about how Washington runs things, but about our society as a whole as well.—DAM)

After two days’ worth of mild ennui, we were called back by the Director for a briefing on our next mission.  On our way, though, something unusual happened to Cyrus in the common area of our quarters.  I had just walked out of the bathroom when I spotted him, collapsed on the floor, a book he had been reading splayed next to his prone body.  I got very scared and rushed over to his side, trying to revive him: I was hoping he was just passed out and that I wouldn’t have to use any first aid techniques that I only vaguely knew, such as CPR.  Fortunately, though, all I needed to do was shake his shoulder gently and he roused, confused and wide-eyed.  He looked up at me with a confused expression.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know, I just found you on the floor out here, Cyrus.  Do you remember anything?”

He scratched his cheek.  “Just that I was reading the book, and then the next thing I knew you were shaking me awake.”  He rubbed his nose and realized that it was bleeding.  Reaching for a tissue, he stood up.

“Take it easy, you don’t want to hurt yourself any further.”  I offered a hand to help him the rest of the way to his feet, but he refused it.

“Don’t worry, Ariel, I’ll be fine.”

I kept an eye on him the rest of the afternoon, especially once we were in the briefing room.  Once there, the Director gave us the details on our next mission, another one that seemed deceptively simple like Austria: we were to attempt to intercept a rogue missile submarine stolen from a Russian shipyard, capture it before it launched an attack on U.S. refueling stations in the Indian Ocean, and return it to the Russians if at all possible.  We looked back and forth at each other, since none of us really had any shipboard experience, save for Cole but he was primarily a pilot rather than a sailor.  Cole himself had concerns, too, and voiced them: “Isn’t this a little … well, pedestrian for a unit like us?”

The Director nodded deeply.  “I knew you’d ask something like that.  On the surface, yes it is.  But there’s more to it, because of who’s stolen it.”

He clicked the mouse on his laptop, linked to the large display screen behind him.  We were suddenly faced with a photo of a Korean man in traditional garments, face half-painted, standing in the midst of a group of shabbily-dressed dark skinned men.

The Director cleared his throat.  “Ladies and gentlemen, meet Pak Se Ri of North Korea.  This is your target, the mastermind behind the theft of the submarine.  His profile shows that he’s an associate of an al-Qaeda cell operating in the eastern Pacific rim, kind of a subcontractor terrorist.  As you can see from this display, he’s also a Korean shaman who specializes in channeling gods of war.  Now our problem is our deep-cover agent in Pak’s organization has sent us intel that he is currently channeling a non-Korean entity of enormous power and extreme malicious intent, who initiated the sub theft.”

I looked briefly over at Cyrus.  He was gripping the table so hard his knuckles were turning white.  His eyes seemed like they were in panic mode.  The Director continued nonetheless.  “If you folks are to encounter Pak, he will be a nasty opponent.  We need you guys to be careful, so that we not only don’t lose you, but we don’t lose the sub we’re sending you to.  Intercept Pak, kill him if you must, but stop that sub.”  The Director shut down his presentation and dismissed us.  It took a little bit of effort for Kitty to extract Cyrus’s fingers from the table, but eventually we were all making our way back to quarters.

Sensing the tension in the room, particularly from Cyrus, I cleared my throat once we were all together in the common area of our quarters.

“We haven’t done it since we went to Austria, but I think we need to.  Let’s go out tonight.”

Cole raised an eyebrow.  “You guys go out?”

Kitty chuckled.  “Of course.  You think we’re so well-adjusted by staying cooped up in here forever?”  She winked at Cole and made her way to her quarters to change.

“I’m just … okay, a little bewildered by how normal that sounds.”

“Get used to it, kid,” Cyrus smirked and retorted.  “Get into some civvies and meet us back out here.  We’ll get some HoSIPs for the girls and head on out.”

A half hour later, HoSIP on wrist and powered up, I met up with the others and together we headed back down to the same bar we always went to.  Since he was not much of a drinker, Cole offered to be our designated driver, something he would wind up doing every time our team went out drinking in the future.  The evening passed slowly, although we went through the alcohol quickly.  Kitty in particular seemed to be drinking heavier than usual, requesting cans of beer from the bartender rather than the usual bottles, which in turn she was shotgunning.

After about two hours, and for me about three vodka-and-Red Bulls, Cyrus called our attention back to himself.  Cole had an easy time turning his attention to the shorter man and keeping it there, as did I, but Kitty seemed a little inebriated.

“Guys,” Cyrus started, “there’s something I need you to hear, just a worst-case-scenario situation that we need to talk about.”

We looked between ourselves worriedly.  Cole was the first to chime in.  “Go on, Cyrus.  We’re listening.”

Cyrus cleared his throat and took another drink: he had been pounding back shots of single-malt scotch.  “Listen, shamanistic magic is very different from my magic, or the magic that made Kitty, or any of the demonic magics we’ve faced.  Shaman magic is all about spiritual possession, on the soul level.  I need you guys to promise me something, because I’m already feeling the effects of it.”

I leaned forward.  “Anything.”

Cyrus patted my shoulder.  “Really, you shouldn’t say that.  I need you guys to promise that if I am taken over, if Pak gains control of me and I become a threat, that you will destroy me.”

Cole’s eyes went wide.  “Are you sure about this?”

“Positive, Cole.  If my soul is possessed by any of the spirits that Pak summons, I will become too much of a hazard to you, and in fact too much of a hazard to the entire world at large.  If push comes to shove, if I’m possessed, there is no alternative.  You absolutely must destroy me.”

My eyes were getting warm, partly because of the alcohol but mostly because of the horrendous request Cyrus was making of us.  Now I wished I hadn’t offered “anything,” too.

Cole, though, understood completely.  He placed a hand on the sorcerer’s shoulder.  “I promise, Cyrus.  I will do as you ask.”

Sighing, knowing that Cole had done the right thing, I placed my hand on the same shoulder, on top of Cole’s hand.  “Me too.  I promise, I won’t let you down.”

“Nooooooo … don’t die on me Cy, pleeeeeeeeease…”

Kitty, after chugging eleven beers, was out of it: that much alcohol apparently had the effect of turning her into a maudlin drunk.  Cyrus let our hands slide off of his shoulder and turned to comfort the inebriated cat-woman.  Unfortunately, as he did, her HoSIP switched off by accident, causing the entire bar to discover her nature.  Many of the bar’s patrons screamed and ran out.  A few were too far gone to really take stock of the situation, and so remained at the bar.  The publican finally told us we had to leave, much to our regret.  This incident wound up being the last time we ever set foot in that bar, which is a shame since it was always a favorite of Ken’s.

For my own part, the dragon’s body seems to be able to filter alcohol fairly efficiently, so I was feeling neither tipsy nor even light-headed, just a little warm, as we made our way back to the CIA headquarters.  It took a while for us to get back inside the building, as Kitty had difficulty producing her ID card at the door, but once we were inside we felt a bit less conspicuous.  (To tell the truth, we were surprised no one had tried to kill us on the way back, considering the three of us were practically carrying a half-cat, half-woman through the streets!)

We carried Kitty back inside, but were forced to set her down when her eyes got especially wide and her hands clamped around her mouth.  She wriggled out of our grip and sprinted for the bathroom.  Cyrus looked back at us and sighed gently.

“I suppose she’ll need someone to hold her hair for her.  You two go on ahead, I’ll see you in the morning.”  He dutifully made his way into the bathroom, closing the door just as a loud retching noise blasted from it.  Cole looked over at me, smiling.

“Does she drink that much all the time?”

I stroked my chin.  “Not usually, but she does tend to drink us all under the table from time to time.”  I approached Cole and placed an arm around his waist.  “What about you, how are you feeling?”

Cole smiled down at me.  “All right, I suppose.  Cyrus’s warning kind of put me on edge, though.”

Maybe three vodka-and-Red Bulls had affected me more than I thought.  I ran my free hand down the middle of his chest.  “Maybe we’ll have to do something to sharpen that edge, hm?”  I smiled up at him.

My heart began to pound again.

“What did you have in mind?”  Cole’s response came in that kind of voice you associate with intimacy, the so-called “bedroom voice.”  Needing no further provocation my heart and my body took over, leading him into the room we were now sharing.

Finally alone once again, finding the time to be alone, we found each other desperately clinging once the door closed behind us.  His hands, my hands, our bodies, all writhed together in desperate need.  We felt the same sensations we did in Jordan, and now we were seeking more.  My hands nearly shook as they worked the buttons of his shirt, then finally surrendered to animal passion and ripped the garment off of him.  He did nearly the same with my blouse, but once I was revealed he returned to gentleness, lightly stroking me with the skill of an experienced lover.  He seemed so confident, I was very surprised to later learn that this would be his first time, as it would be mine.

That night was an emotional one, a physical, passionate embrace with a lot of love shared between the two of us.  His touches were soft, his kisses gentle.  Mine were hungry, almost devouring him and afraid that I would at some point.  The darkness around us became lighter and lighter: I could see his passion on his face, see his desire.  The instant he entered me, our eyes locked on each other’s, intent with sharing our newfound love, and fueled by the intense passion we both felt.  The act took a short time, but felt like it lasted forever, and left us both feeling more loved, more wanted … more alive … than ever before.  That night, we curled up in each other’s arms, warm and gentle caresses and kisses helping each other drift to a loving sleep.

I knew at this instant … knew what Ken had wanted of me.  I knew what the visions had wanted of me.  Cole was it, the love that would save a life.  It would not be immediately clear to me, however, that the life to be saved was not my own.

[trainer-aer]

Life Update: Valentine's Day Edition

02.14.2023

💜

Today marks three months to the day from when I began the process of getting away from my abusive ex-fiancé.

In the past three months I have done an insane amount of healing that trauma, physically and emotionally.

While in that toxic relationship, I gained over 60 pounds and went from being very physically active (20k+ steps a day and on my feet for 15+ hours with ease, despite having mild symptoms of POTS) to suffering from barely manageable POTS, vertigo, crippling anxiety, agoraphobia, and severe chronic pain to the point of needing a mobility aid almost constantly.

In the three months since leaving that relationship, I have worked tirelessly to get my health back in my control. A strict diet and daily fitness regimen has helped me lose 20 pounds since November 14th, putting me back under 200 pounds for the first time since 2019 when I started dating him for a total of 48 of those 60 pounds down. Thanks to my new routine, in addition to medication management, my POTS and vertigo have significantly improved and have become essentially a non-issue again. The pain is improving slowly, it's not perfect, but it's under control at least and that's better than nothing in my eyes! Oh, and the agoraphobia/anxiety? Turns out both were directly caused by being in a super toxic relationship where my body was constantly in fight or flight mode. Honestly, the first time (and unfortunately not the last time) I uttered the words "I am afraid of you" in 2020 should have been when I kicked him to the curb but. I guess we all make mistakes. Hindsight is 20/20, quite literally this time 😂

Because I had to leave the apartment that I shared with him, I began the search for a new place to live pretty much immediately. My agent (who is the sweetest woman alive I love her to death) immediately jumped on it and started the search again. I knew she'd find me something amazing because she found that place I was moving out of, too!

And oh my god did she pull through! I just finished completely unpacking at my new place and you guys! Stunning! Not only is it exactly perfectly sized (2.5 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, and about 1200sq feet) I got everything I wanted and more!

It's in a very safe and progressive neighborhood, close to my family, on a quiet street, very private, and it has enough space for all of my things with areas to keep all of my pets (current and future) separated appropriately, huge storage area in the basement so I can store my holiday stuff out of the way (I'm very proud of the fact that I got rid of enough stuff during the move - SIX full cars worth of donations and more in garbage, that I no longer need to keep anything but holiday decor and a couple extra furniture pieces waiting to be sold down there), washer/dryer IN UNIT, parking included with snow removal in winter, top floor of a newly renovated pet-friendly luxury space, and a HUGE YARD with full permission to landscape to my hearts content! Plus, I get to keep the big trampoline in the yard! It's a literal dream come true! My old place was big, but that was all it really had going for it. It was in a not very safe neighborhood, next to a busy road, and had honestly very crummy appliances and was basically infested with flies and other insects (ants, centipedes) that constantly came in through the huge gaps in the baseboards most of the time I lived there. No wonder it was so cheap 😬

My business has been booming, I've got clients lined up and I've actually had to start a waitlist! I've got some other exciting career stuff happening as well! More on that to come as I get more details together!

I'm spending tonight taking a well-earned cozy evening with my kitty and my bunny after working so hard for three months straight! After dinner, I'm gonna get some crafting time in, too!

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning (or day or evening), lovie!! its your prodigal muning. im so sorry i didnt answer you yesterday TT i really am soso sorry TT ive started reading your message ans then the classes, then my focusing attention problems, then homework and these problems with attention and poof! its already 5 a.m. and i realise oh fuck i havent answered you TT and i still overslept today TT but its ok i managed to come on time. oooh its cute to know youve got your love for music from your mom. im sure you look just as cute playing piano as this kitty in the gif) sure your mom wanted the best but im sorry for your trauma. i believe in your skills. since you attached this gif with 13th doctor who, im now thinking about her being the most similar to matts doctor.. you should see yourself :) 'WHY AM I CRUEL THIS TIME' deprive people of your gorgeous voice 'its so much easier to believe in God than yourself' sounds.. yk sincere and so deeply thoughtful like in these films where a persons going to die in a day and needs to live the whole life in this restricted time. in the best way possible. sounds good. it seems like all people from the south are so... warm? shdjd sorry. no but really. all of you have so chilly and kinda hippie vibes. it sounds so real and so true but i really cant imagine myself giving this world so much love. your so lovie-lovie and its so cute and right. love can save the world. приятного аппетита. 24/7. 'in my head its canon' is it time for me to say smth like i have a vodka-gun and a domesticated bear?... owww all your dishes look so good and tasty, i like the pics fhdjs. wowoow ginataang looks really good. and its interesting too learn its like.. etymology. and even more when youre reasoning it yourself. 'ITS ULAM AND ITS WHAT WE EAT WITH RICE' smth like main dish?.. not like i think you dont know this word but im trying to understand.. like the main.. not sweet dish before the dessert? its cute to learn the difference, thanks for your efforts and explainings, hottie-cutie! i like learning what your fav food is too hdjfk. and about this food too. this thing about saying things twice TT cute actually most of the ingredients you mention are so unusual to me that i have to search for each one of them... 'you know that right?' I KNOW NOTHING TT but alright i still have google... sorry but 'nata de coco' sounds so bossy. fjdhdhs SORRY. i dont want to sound so childish but its my first thought. tbh i used to hate coconuts... now i feel neutral, not like coconuts are common here anyway... i feel like i need to give more feedback but im so into all the information you give. like reallyreally educational. 'I GOT SIDE TRACKED SO BADLY' its alright!! i like following your way of thinking!! when i searched for taro (yes idk whats it) i got tarot cards... maybe because in russian it doesnt have t and is literally taro lol...yeah i GOT confused but not bc of the night.... 'GAbi is the food gaBI is night' very educational. thaks for the efforts! i appreciate how much time you give me<з 'i gotta get this right cos she good at history or whatevah' FHSJKHD loll i have no dates in my brain. oh no i remember some that are connected with literature and the year of baptism of Rus. but its interesting, go on. 'this is how i explain stuff to my classmates' one big brain cell. i explain things like that tbh. my literature teacher always laugh at me bc of the way i describe things when were talking informally. and this cunning spain.... wow and its really interesting to know about your languages story! ig ive learnt more now than during all the scool years... you have all rights to curse these 3 idiots! like?? its really irritating when smn corrects you on the thing you know like your hmm... mother tongue??? that stereotype that americans are (a little)... uneducated... and youre telling a person their first language is wrong? dk about all americans but these definately fit the stereotype. i feel like tumblr will see the message as too long again so see you in the part 2!

MUNING YOURE HOME I CAN STO SAYING PSPSSPSPPSPSSPSPSPSPSPSPPSSP NOW

😌 love letter toime

its your prodigal muning. im so sorry i didnt answer you yesterday TT i really am soso sorry TT ive started reading your message ans then the classes, then my focusing attention problems, then homework and these problems with attention and poof! its already 5 a.m. and i realise oh fuck i havent answered you TT and i still overslept today TT but its ok i managed to come on time.

u and i are so twins thats smth i would do/probably have done with a lot of things. you dont have to apologize. i figured about as much when i didnt receive anything.

truthfully though, i was kinda sad yesterday so when you didnt message me T_T i didnt have anyone to talk to T_T i felt like crying yesterday (i figured it was cos i was hungry) but then i realized i have no friends T_T the friends i do have are from my old school and idk i find instant messages easily exhausting. IDK IDK IDK which is why im so excited to read letter from you! anyway it was also because my class yesterday was songwriting and i didnt know anyone there T_T it's giving T_T lonely.

if you apologize for making me sad, 🤬 dont its not ur fault. it was me being hungry and having no friends in that class then being sad i spent all that money on food T_T /LASHfhas/fhashfa f

oooh its cute to know youve got your love for music from your mom. im sure you look just as cute playing piano as this kitty in the gif) sure your mom wanted the best but im sorry for your trauma. i believe in your skills.

trust me i look like this when i play

HAHAHHHAHHAHH. i'm a jazz player (thats a music joke meaning you keep hitting the wrong notes HAHHAHAHA [but also jazz players do really play with like ... 'out of key' sounding things but its not out of key, i have no idea how else to explain it without getting too technical]). of course my mom wanted the best for me, but T_T it still hurts she my mummy T_T. thank you for believing in my skills. i believe in my skills more and more everyday

since you attached this gif with 13th doctor who, im now thinking about her being the most similar to matts doctor.. you should see yourself :)

SHE LOOKS LIKE A SWEETIE CUPCAKE!!! but also you watch doctor who ALSO ALSO NO i refuse to watch doctor who................

'WHY AM I CRUEL THIS TIME' deprive people of your gorgeous voice

T_T IM TRYING I WILL POST ANOTHER SONG TOMORROW and i will make sure i look prettier lol HAHAHHAHAHAHAH idk its hard to keep my yt alive. i have this cover of les miserables but i haved edited it yet and you reminded me i wanted to do that.

OMG OMG IS THERE A SONG YOU WANT ME TO SING!!!!!?????? 🤩🤩🤩 even if its russian i'll sing it for you (but i beg not like the rap you shared i am not a rapper T_T) i will say if it is in russian you must give me a while to learn it.

'its so much easier to believe in God than yourself' sounds.. yk sincere and so deeply thoughtful like in these films where a persons going to die in a day and needs to live the whole life in this restricted time. in the best way possible. sounds good.

💀😭🤣💀😭🤣 I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN BUT YOUR ANALOGY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. well im glad it sounds sincere because it is. i mean it with my whole chest

it seems like all people from the south are so... warm? shdjd sorry. no but really. all of you have so chilly and kinda hippie vibes. it sounds so real and so true but i really cant imagine myself giving this world so much love. your so lovie-lovie and its so cute and right. love can save the world.

T_T pEOPLE IN THE SOUTH ARE WARM HAHAHHHAHAHH im honored to have helped you make such an assumption about us but i can assure you not everyone is warm here, some are so hot they are practically burning with the devil T_T I LOVE THAT YOU THINK IM CHILL AND A HIPPIE HAHAHHAHAH i would say i have no chill and am quite radical. if my parents would allow me, i would march during protests but theyre afraid i might get hurt, also im afraid i would get hurt but i just think its so important to fight and speak about what you believe in!!!!! LOVE WILL OVERCOME THE WORLD!!!!!

well the truth is, no one can really give the WORLD love... unless ur secretly Jesus but you know what, giving 1 person (like me!!! <3) your love (WHICH YOU ALREADY DO!!!) changes my WHOLE world <3 <3 <3 o(*￣▽￣*)ブ it always starts with one thing. one little thing

it reminds me of this post about how pets are only there for a part of your life but you are there for their entire life T_T

i try not to think about that too much cos ill cry.

so yeah dont beat yourself up for not changing the world or not being able to love the whole world, you'll burn yourself with that. a little goes a long way and you;ll find it becomes easier each time

приятного аппетита. 24/7.

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

'in my head its canon' is it time for me to say smth like i have a vodka-gun and a domesticated bear?

I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU UNIRONICALLY SAID YOU HAD A DOMESTICATED BEAR IF DEADLY WHY FRIEND SHAPED i dont care for vodka or guns so /:

owww all your dishes look so good and tasty, i like the pics fhdjs. wowoow ginataang looks really good. and its interesting too learn its like.. etymology. and even more when youre reasoning it yourself.

im glad you think so!!! that you like the pics and you think ginataang looks good and the etymology and how im reasoning it HAHAHH

'ITS ULAM AND ITS WHAT WE EAT WITH RICE' smth like main dish?.. not like i think you dont know this word but im trying to understand.. like the main.. not sweet dish before the dessert? its cute to learn the difference, thanks for your efforts and explainings, hottie-cutie!

i guess you could say main dish. i remember when i was younger during the high school musical era, vanessa hudgens said in an interview once she eats a lot of rice because she's filipino and i was like ???? mom wtf does she mean and my mom went oh they dont eat rice and I WAS SO CONCERNED FOR EVERYONE WHO WASNT FILIPINO BECAUSE SHE SAID WE WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO DID THAT I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE ALSKHFAHSFASH it took me years to understand what my mom meant LOL cos in the ph when we say we're going to eat rice that means were eating a meal cos yeah everything is eaten with rice here it feels incomplete if you dont. so she meant they eat meals just without rice WHICH SOUNDS ILLEGAL T_T

let me give a clearer example ig. so in the morning when you wake up, if you decide to have idk a sausage youd maybe eat only a sausage right??? or ok maybe with bread. idk in the ph if you dont eat smth with rice (unless ur eating with bread) and you just eat the sausage by itself it's called like papak which basically means youre not eating something properly youre just snacking on it when you could just eat it as a meal IDK o(≧口≦)o its so hard to explain

ok now i have to further explain papak, it could also mean like you have a food item you want to eat but you eat a bit then leave it then come back to it then leave it or youre yeah just not EATING PROPERLY OK I GIVE UP GOOD NIGHT

i like learning what your fav food is too hdjfk. and about this food too. this thing about saying things twice TT cute

IM GLAD YOU LIKE LEARNING ABOUT MY FAV FOOD I HAVE SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO SHARE :LASFHASFASFHASFHLASFHF also yeah its pretty funny how we say things twice HIHIH AHAHAHAH we do that for emphasis, like kabang-kaba where kaba means nervous and the added -ng is just a connector. it's our equivalent of very but we dont have very AHHAHAH we just repeat the word, so if you want to say youre very very very very very nervous you can say KABANG-KABANG-KABANG-KABANGKABANGKABGNANGKANG-KABA ako (ako is 'I' lol)

actually most of the ingredients you mention are so unusual to me that i have to search for each one of them... 'you know that right?' I KNOW NOTHING TT but alright i still have google...

AHHAHAHAHA i hope you enjoyed researching them at least HAHAHAHHA ALSO?????? YOU DONT KNOW WHAT FLAN IS ??? PLOT TWIST???!?!?!? I thought you would know it because its like.... spanish ??? european ??? HAHDKHADHLADHAD AD:HAD: thats on me 😩😞 i assumed T_T HAHAHAHAH i hope you looked it up! hahhaahahahhaHAHAHAH

sorry but 'nata de coco' sounds so bossy. fjdhdhs SORRY.

HAHHAHHAHAHAAH YOU DONT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE HEARD ALL DAY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHY DOES IT SOUND BOSSY HAHHAAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAAHH THATS SO ??? HAHHA WEIRD DOES IT HAVE A RUSSIAN EQUIVALENT THAT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE THAT TO YOU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i think it derived from spanish ?? idk nata = nut then coco= coconut? idk i just assume

i dont want to sound so childish but its my first thought. tbh i used to hate coconuts... now i feel neutral, not like coconuts are common here anyway... i feel like i need to give more feedback but im so into all the information you give. like reallyreally educational. 'I GOT SIDE TRACKED SO BADLY' its alright!! i like following your way of thinking!!

NO BUT SAME i dont like... processed flavored coconuts lashflkhasfhaslafh its kind of the same way i feel about bananas it just so FAKE??????????? and why ruin it just eat a banana if you want a banana and eat a coconut if you want to eat a coconut. i will say there are again some exceptions to the coconut thing but yeah lasfkhasfas. you dont have to give more feedback no pressure HAHAHAH im glad to receive a reply at all my brain is just like I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS PERFECTLY BECAUSE THIS PERSON HAS NO IDEA WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT AND IF I EXPLAIN THIS WRONG THEIR UNDERSTANDING WILL FOREVER BE WRONG FOREVER UNLESS SOMEONE CORRECTS THIS KNOWLEDGE I HAVE IMPARTED

when i searched for taro (yes idk whats it) i got tarot cards... maybe because in russian it doesnt have t and is literally taro lol...yeah i GOT confused but not bc of the night.... 'GAbi is the food gaBI is night' very educational. thaks for the efforts!

well i did not forsee taro being the hinderance HAHAHAHAHAH so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ at least im still educational love that for me

i appreciate how much time you give me<з

of course i love you <3 💗💗💗💖💖💖💖

while we're here let me share another food HIHIIHIHIHHHHIIH

this is called KARE-KARE HAHAHAHAH but las;hf;lahsflas i dont think it has a meaning T_T but its on theme it's repeated twice but ???? idk i dont think it has meaning AHHAHAHAH

ASHF:ASHF:AF AF:ASF IM LOVE IT its not a dessert its an ulam. ALSO GOOGLE SAID IT WAS AS STEW???? NOW IM SO CONFUSED ISNT STEW LIKE A SOUP ASKHFAS ahhhh nvm google defines stew as 'a dish of meat and vegetables cooked slowly in liquid in a closed dish or pan.'

google is so correct that is what karekare is <3

so this typically cooked with beef/tuwalya or pork but ig you could cook it with... sheep/goat or chicken but i told my mom i wanted karekare once and she was like red meat is expensive and i was like we can make chicken and she got mad at me so ig not chicken AHHAHAHA.

ok now tuwalya^^^^^^, the first time i tried it, i hated it T_T also i was so confused why it was called that because tuwalya is towel ????? like wtf why would you call it that. anyway the not towel tuwalya is apparently cow stomach (LOL I LOVE THAT IDK IT HAHAHAH) but yeah its pretty tough and super chewy which was why i hated it at first i was like YOU HAVE DESECRATED MY BELOVED DISH but now i LOVE tuwalya and i go ??? yall didnt put tuwalya in this tsk tsk L (also apparently its ox tripe?? but do we even have ox in the ph????? HAHHAAH:ASHFHaslfhashfhasfla)

anyway it usually has vegtables cooked with it like pechay (bok choy????? [i only know this word cos of plants vs zombies HAHHAHAH]) wtf google said its cabbage but thats false im ??? ig maybe pechay is a type of cabbage. ig it is buk choy

this ^^^ (above) is pechay and sitaw (string beans) YOU SHOULD HAVE STRING BEANS RIGHT LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND SAY YOU DONT KNOW WHAT STRING BEANS IS

anyway this is sitaw. HAHAHHAH then eggplant PLS YOU HAVE EGGPLANTS IM SURE.

also in the pic for karekare the circle ones on the side that kinda look like onions those are puso ng saging which would be heart of banana in english LOL i think its called that because thats like the core of the... the tree?? or the soft part of the-

hollup lemme research it

banana blossoms??????? thats what is according to google T_T

OH I GET IT NOW ITS THE REDDISH THING i guess its like the flower of the plant NOW WE BOTH LEARNED SOMETHING AHHAHAH

yeah i dont think ive eaten karekare with puso ng saging but i like puso ng saging HAHAHA

and lastly, the most interesting part of the dish is that its sauce is made of (from what i remember from my mom [ok i searched it to be sure]) its made with onion garlic and.... [drum roll] peanut butter!!!

i dont remember if i was shocked when i first learned this AHHHAHAHA cos i was so young HAHAAHAHAH but yeah peanut sauce and ground peanuts but lol my mom just buys the karakare powder mix HAHHAAHAHAH. ive seen a chef on tv flat out use peanut butter but yeah it'll be sweet if you do that so my mom doesnt do that ig idk i dont remember HAHAHHA

i also ask for this food on my birthday. every day i get to eat karekare is a special day <3

end scene

'i gotta get this right cos she good at history or whatevah' FHSJKHD loll i have no dates in my brain. oh no i remember some that are connected with literature and the year of baptism of Rus. but its interesting, go on.

LOL UR LIKE ME FR I HAVE A 1% retention rate of date AHAHAAH thats being so generous tbh

'this is how i explain stuff to my classmates' one big brain cell. i explain things like that tbh. my literature teacher always laugh at me bc of the way i describe things when were talking informally.

BIG BRAIN THINGS they can laugh but if it works it works

and this cunning spain.... wow and its really interesting to know about your languages story! ig ive learnt more now than during all the scool years...

HHHHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHHAHAHHAH T_T i feel you AHHAHAH i love learning stuff from people who are passionate about what they talk about and the only reason why i retained any of these things was because my teachers who taught me this were amazing T_T

you have all rights to curse these 3 idiots! like?? its really irritating when smn corrects you on the thing you know like your hmm... mother tongue???

very truly annoying when someone is a know it all that knows nothing [inhales deeply] inner peace. i felt way better about them now that ive finished ranting about it. i forgive them (still hard to type a lot of hesitation went into that) ヾ(•ω•`🌸)o anyway if i keep getting mad ill only upset myself so T_T i gotta forgive them for me.

that stereotype that americans are (a little)... uneducated... and youre telling a person their first language is wrong? dk about all americans but these definately fit the stereotype.

👎 doing uncle sam a disservice.... do you know uncle sam means america? HAHAH I only learned that from my mom apparently its a comic person thing but im not interested nor do i care enough to dig deeper into that

i feel like tumblr will see the message as too long again so see you in the part 2!

PART TWO YAY SEE YOU

xxx

[goatpaste]

if you've read river, draw any scene from it, any scene you want! if not, just draw any scene from wc in general

I havent, i hade read the last like 3-4 arcs, i just kinda absorbed everything via osmosis from others lol

so idk the main characters very well, but im always down to draw a kitty cat

and from everything iv seen we have one stink boy, a shadowclan cat i just dont hear anyone talk about, and a good girl that can fit so much trauma in her