I know I've already spoken a lot after @fulcrum-art-fox 's post (and by going on a tangent, too, I'm still sorry for that), but my mind remains stuck on Jillian (oops!) so here goes a bit more chaotic blabbering to go with what came earlier.
See, yes, there's a parallel between Jillian and the Holy Mother (and I had already touched upon it here and here as well), but what made me stop and think a little more was a passage I read recently in the Jansons' The picture history of painting:
"The Byzantine artist did not think of the Madonna as being at all like an ordinary, human mother. To him she was the Queen of Heaven, far removed from everyday life and beautiful beyond any man's imagination. And he has painted her the way he felt about her: not as a woman of flesh and blood but an ideal figure bathed in the golden light of heaven."
What stands out to me here is less the actual piece being examined (this, if you're curious) but the idea of being removed from everyday life, of being distant from the common people, being an ideal figure who isn't made of flesh and blood.
That's exactly what Jillian more or less sets out to do in s1 through the image she presents to the world.
But, contrary to the Madonna being painted by an artist following what the latter might feel about her, Jillian, the budding demiurge, creates this image for herself. The whites, the blue, the theatre of it all wouldn't be lost on a woman as intelligent as she is; her pregnancy was "a medical marvel", now she opens up the "world's first quantum portal"... Ava says doctor Salvius creates superpowers on the daily, but these feats could be seen as miracles... No wonder cardinal Duretti is invited to witness Jillian's triumph.
As this miracle-maker, this special specimen above the rest of humanity, there must be a (fabricated) distance in her dealings with people. She singles herself out when presenting her creation or revealing the footage of Beatrice destroying her security, she stands out from the crowd more as a pale, fearsome marble statue than as a normal human woman.
And, so distanced from others, she barely ever touches anyone else (barring Michael, of course) apart from a very light, almost reluctant tap to a subordinate's shoulder or a grip on Ava that is less about Ava herself and more about what advantages connecting her to the ark might ultimately present. Her touching Lilith for her temperature is likewise less about Lilith's well-being and more about Jillian's own plans for her, a touch with underlying, secret intent.
It's almost as if touch is repulsive to her regarding these other persons, a risk to her carefully curated image, whereas her contact with Michael is affectionate and genuine, unrestrained by the "sainthood" of the genius given how it happens far from the public eye, from anyone she might want/need to impress, amaze or enthrall.
I had talked about the femininity of s1 Jillian as it helps her pull on a show, but there's something about her specific brand of it that is icy, that pushes people away. All that white, that immaculate appearance as if to dare others to try soiling it; where the Virgin Mary is a loving mother to be adored, Jillian Salvius concocts the persona of a terrifying creature not to be provoked, bathed not "in the golden light of heaven" but in the blue light of relentless scientific ambition.
We already know this facade comes crumbling down by s2, but what's interesting is that, as @fulcrum-art-fox's post points out, the consequences of this comparison to the Holy Mother persist. Jillian is no longer bedecked in blue and white, but she pays the price paid by Mary, unable to take action in order to protect her son from what befalls him.
Suddenly, this woman who constructed her own intangibility, her own sort of "divinity" by not being available to be touched by others, finds herself in isolation in a way she had not predicted -- set apart even when she might not want to be, kept away from her own son and from those others which at first she had so carefully kept at bay.
Which again might inspire us to wonder whether any of this is punishment for her presumption. Did she want to create miracles, stand above the lot of common mortals? Well, here are the consequences: you do not play at being the holy mother without the suffering that comes with it.
Maybe it's the blasphemy of it -- or maybe it's just the result of a very human arrogance which she has every opportunity to regret.
I had mentioned before how all of these ties between Jillian and the Virgin actually enforce themes of Michael standing for a redeemer -- the story of Mary is pretty much the story of Jesus. However, the story of Jillian can hardly be expected to be the story of Michael alone in a show that is so thoughtful regarding its female characters, so the future of WN must have something intriguing in store for her. If her role as Michael's mother has ended, her newfound connection to the OCS surely points at a new path for doctor Salvius.
Her relationship to touch alone is already different; if season one saw her wary of it, even protected from it, season two has her actually be touched by someone else, breaking through her "godly" defences. Lilith threatens her, Kristian appeals to her in what is a repulsive action, asking her to overlook what was done to herself and to her son in favour of Adriel's so-called revelations. Whatever walls she had built around herself are revealed as the illusions they truly are as they no longer shield her from others.
But there are two other instances of touch we can't ignore, moments that draw her into something different; not aggression, not cynical beseeching, but something else: we are given a desperation on Jillian's part and a rare, perhaps much-needed support on Mother Superion's. These are new, authentic moments of connection that also shatter the barriers her previous persona had erected and they hint at the possibility of novel dynamics. Jillian is no longer isolated as per her own design, but approaching someone else, being welcomed in turn, yanked painfully down from her self-created pedestal to walk the Earth as a mortal woman and no longer as a white, unblemished icon.
With Michael gone (if so he remains), Jillian might be freed of the ties to the Virgin -- built through her own efforts -- to be her own woman, surrounded by these others who propose another mode of existing, almost like Ava understood the notion of helping others through the OCS as well. Her role in the story isn't over, cannot be over: who is she when she is not just a mother or just the embodiment of her company? Who is she when participating in community instead of elevated to an artificial position above the rest that endangered her own sense of humanity? Who is she without the myth of her own design?
We eagerly await for how these new developments concerning her unfold...
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be careful what you wish for...the village Killian's from is having a bit of a population crisis right now, and having a nice little human come by could be just what they need...
Oh noooo....I'm just a naive human lost in this big forest with no one waiting for me...would be a shame if some beautiful elves whisked me away and brainwashed me into thinking I'm their pet/breeding machine and only need their "love and devotion". That would be terrible /silly
- 🩵
wdym the beautiful elf men do not, in fact, have my best interests in mind and were planning something nefarious from the start </3 I was just gonna write down some quick thoughts but it kinda got out of hand LOL
Content warning for: implied drugging (hypnotics, aphrodisiacs), dubcon/ noncon touching (nothing explicit though), manipulation, slight obsessive/ yandere themes, general elven condescension?
Imagine that you’ve accidentally wandered too deep into the forest and lost your way, your shoes hardly holding up in the rough terrain, and the last remaining rays of the setting sun are snuffed out by the overgrown foliage…
To make things worse, you walk right into some sort of trap - a stumbling step is all it takes to activate the runic trip switch, and a suffocating cloud of purple gas is the last thing you remember before things fade to dark…
How clumsy of you! Good thing Priest Killian happened to be on his evening walks when he spotted your pitiful form twitching and writhing in the hunting trap he’d set up; carefully he scooped you up and went his way back to the village. Only the most observant would be able to discern that the Priests’ unmoving smile seemed a bit wider than usual.
It was a trap the elves set up for hunting animals, he’d explained. The poison was almost enough to be fatal, had he not been there in time to save you. It’ll also take a bit for all the toxins to be out of your system. No worries though, because Killian offers to take care of you in his quarters until you’re up on your feet again.
You don’t even remember if you’d managed to give a response, what with lead-heavy limbs and relentless migraine pulsing in your head. Luckily, Killian treated you with utmost care. 3 meals a day (along with the antidote treatment) brought to your bed (well, his bed), and spoon-fed to you because you were too weak to even sit up. He massaged your stiff muscles and brushed your hair. He ran warm baths and washed you – and even then he never opened his eyes – so at least there was some comfort in that.
Under Killian’s care you gradually regain your strength, save for the occasional dizzy spell and fatigue. But he saved your life after all! Feeling indebted to him, you offer to stay longer in the village to help around. While Killian’s expression is ever-unreadable, you can’t help but sense a bit of…amusement from him upon your suggestion. Regardless, he agrees – so long as you agree not to wander too far outside the village, because it’s very dangerous out there, he said.
And of course, he maintained a watchful eye over you, shadowing your tottering form as you went around introducing yourself to the other villagers. How cute.
You worked whatever odd jobs the elves had for you. which isn’t much at all. Mostly just menial tasks, or perhaps relaying messages. Things that they could’ve easily done themselves with their magic, but it’s fun watching an over-enthusiastic little human do it instead, so eager to please. You would say they are…endeared, perhaps. Or maybe they’re just looking out for you, what with your unfinished recovery. Anyhow, the elves are charmed by the newfound presence in the village.
Killian gifts you a new set of clothes, made by the local tailor (you don’t remember visiting a tailor for measurements at any point though, strange). To help you feel more at home, he said. It's pretty, a delicate garment that flutters cool against your skin in the warm summer heat, with an unmistakably elven style of elegance. It is a little short but, well, elves are known for being tall so maybe they're not used to human proportions? The white silk is a bit sheer in places, and you tried to ignore how it clung to the contours of your body when you sweat…
You hadn’t expected elves to be so openly affectionate. Being a long-living race known for their high culture and intelligence, it made for the perception that they were maybe a bit prudish, engrossed in their endless pursuit of finer things to care about lowly desires. But you suppose the elves are as curious of you as you are of them. You got to know some of them quite well, and soon it was routine for them to envelop you in their embrace. They pet your hair and nuzzle into your neck (Killian said something about how common skinship is in elven culture), at times slipping their digits beneath your clothes…sometimes you don't really remember, because the medicine still made you a bit sluggish. But it's ok! Their affectionate nature is a surprise but one you welcome. You think.
During all of which, your treatment continued. Just a little longer, Killian promised. The side-effects seem to show no sign of waning, if not worsening at times. Sometimes you struggle to recall what has happened and what has not. The elves didn’t seem to mind, gladly cradling your tired body when you are overcome with sudden bounds of weakness. You poor little thing, they cooed, one hand combing through your hair to distract you from their other that wandered along your body.
Some days the medicine leaves you feeling more flushed than usual, and a strange feeling you can’t quite place invades your senses; a deep, frustrating kind of yearning that throbbed in your core. You assume it's the side-effects of advanced elf sorcery/ enchantment in your antidote treatment. It’s a tad embarrassing, but you can’t really do anything about it when the elves (if not the Priest himself) check in on you so frequently.
Your only reprieve comes when Killian slots himself snug against your smaller form at bedtime. Were you always this close? You’re not sure if you recall, trying desperately to suppress the suggestive thoughts flooding your brain. His cool hands trail over your body, and it feels way too good against your overheating skin, so good that you can’t even think about resisting as his lips come crashing on top of yours, when he slips his arm underneath your waist to push you closer, closer against him.
Stumbling out of Killian’s quarters in the dead of night, confused, and your vision blurred by hot tears, all you can think about is getting away from him, from this godforsaken place. The other elves stepped out of their houses from the commotion. It was as if something in the air shifted. Their friendly, curious pretenses have dropped completely, leaving a ravenous hunger and unyielding need in their place. The way they leer at your body, the disheveled elven outfit failing to provide much cover, makes your hair stand on their ends. The elves close in on you, their concerned voices laced with something unmistakably sinister. You’re trapped.
A gentle hand on your shoulder snaps you out of your stupor.
“Now, now, I’m sure we’re all very excited about our little one here, but everyone will have their turn sooner or later.” Killian explains. He leans close to your ear, whispering in a volume only audible to you. “Look at you getting everyone so riled up already. Aren’t you such a needy little pet?” You’re paralyzed in fear, but his husky voice in your ears is still setting your nerves alight.
“I’ll give you two choices. Either you let me 'take care of you' back at home,” his arms snaked around your body again, lithe fingers fanning across your thighs. “Or we’ll give everyone a show, and maybe let them get...a preemptive taste, as well. What’ll it be?”
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Reader falling obsessively in love with kny men after getting poisoned
Pairings: Rengoku x fem!reader; Sanemi x fem!reader; Giyu x fem!reader; bonus Genya x fem!reader
Word Count: 4k
Warnings: There's no smut going on but it's definitely a close call lol, I just thought this concept is funny so the fics itself and the whole scenarios aren't 100% serious it's getting absolutely heated in every single one though hehe, Not proofread bc I literally finished this last minute before my flight lol, I'm currently in Greece when this gets published so surprise ya girl with your support until she's back 🤍
Rengoku Kyojuro
“And you’re sure this is safe?”, you question while looking up at Shinobu with frightful eyes.
It should be fine. After all, Shinobu is the one who invented a medicine that is supposed to finally force your headache away. She’s a professional, so well-educated that even Kagaya-sama’s very own children get treated by her.
Even though she didn’t have the chance to test this medicine, you should be fine.
Right?
“As you know, I’ll never promise something I can’t keep, (y/n). But you’re here with me and if something goes wrong, I will find a way”, she tries to reassure you, only to spike your panic up even higher.
“Listen Shinobu, maybe I’ll try something e-“
Before you’re able to finish your sentence and stop her, you feel a needle poking through your arm oh so gently.
For a moment, you simply sit there and blink in confusion. Huh, not as bad as you thought. It really seems like your headache slowly but surely starts fainting away while the medicine burns every so slightly through your veins.
Not bad at all.
Until your heartbeat picks up so suddenly that your eyes dart wide open. Like in trance, you yank out of the chair you were sitting in, orbs darting around without a real aim while frantically searching for something.
Or rather someone.
What a quiet and peaceful day it is to roam around the beautiful butterfly estate. Rengoku actually didn’t even plan to come here. After all, he isn’t injured nor does he need something from Shinobu-san. To be honest, he’s only here because of you.
You told him yesterday that you’ll see Shinobu today in order to test medicine that is supposed to end your ongoing headaches. You were a little frightened when you thought about getting an injection, so it was never a question for Rengoku to be there for you. Hopefully, he made it on time.
“Kyojuro.”
He furrows his eyebrows and turns towards that unusual seductive voice.
When your eyes meet his, he forgets how to breathe. There you stand, your kimono opened just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your chest like never before. But what simply sweeps him off his feet are your eyes. As gorgeous and captivating as ever, but this time igniting an so unknown spark, inviting him to a silent dance.
“(y/n), are you feeling alright?”
Your hips swing from side to side as you draw closer to him and place your hand straight over his beating heart.
“I’m feeling better than ever before, Kyojuro.”
Kyojuro can’t help but blush deeply, eyes widening in surprise. A nervous smile plays on his lips while he stammers slightly, unable to hide his flustered state. Is this really you, the secret love of his life, discovering his body with your bare hands? The second your flat palms start wandering over his back, his hands start to fidget. Out of instinct, he avoids eye contact, his very own hands now keeping you in place.
“W-What’s going on. (y/n)?”, he stammers like he never did before.
“Take me, Kyojuro.”
His eyes grow even wider, usual confidence momentarily faltering like a house of cards.
“I-I…um, what?”
With a force he didn’t even know you have, you shove him against a nearby tree, your knee gliding between his legs.
“I want you since the first time I saw you. I won’t wait for another opportunity when you’re right here.”
“(y/n)…D-did you already meet Shinobu-san?”
Are you sick or injured? A quick scan of your body reveals nothing that could indicate a serious wound. No, to be precise, you reveal nothing but your soft curves, your gorgeous frame he has never seen like this before. With your kimono slightly opened and the cleavage that peaks at him oh so invitingly…He never felt your hands pressed against his chest like that before, never got a taste of how well you fit inside of his arms.
No. He shakes his head ever so slightly, forces his own mind back to reality. This isn’t the (y/n) he knows. You’d never sneak up on him like this, even if the words you just spoke are true.
Oh, please let them be true.
“All I care about is you”, you purr, face now only inches away from his.
If his back wasn’t pressed against a tree already, Kyojuro would lose his balance for sure. He was always captivated by that gorgeous colour your eyes have, never able to look away. But now, with that dark gleam inside of them, your hands wrapped around his neck. A little innocent kiss, a dream that comes true right here and now-
“(y/n), come back right now!”, a voice cries behind him so suddenly that he jumps up inside the cage of your comforting arms.
“We are here, Shinobu-san!”, he replies automatically.
Only to regret his words instantly. Just one second more and his lips would have touched yours, only a few moments more in your embrace before it all ends again. It takes him all his strength to let go of you when Shinobu arrives with an injection ready in her hand.
“I’m beyond sorry, Rengoku-san! (y/n)’s strange behaviour is all my fault. But don’t worry, I’ll bring her back in just a moment.”
Faster than he’s even able to comprehend the insect pillar’s words, she sticks a needle into your arm and releases the injection.
You blink a few times, head spinning uncontrollably as you stumble backwards. Where are you? What happened? Your head pounds so roughly against your skull that you feel like puking any given minute.
“How are you feeling, (y/n)?”, Shinobu’s comforting voice rings in your ears.
Slowly but surely, your foggy vision starts to get clear again.
“Since when are you so tall, Shinobu?”, you mumble absently.
“It’s me, (y/n). Kyojuro.”
Oh.
“Kyojuro!”, you mumble in utter surprise.
“But…what are you doing here?”
“Let’s not talk about it. I-I…I need to go now”, the flame hashira announces before turning on his heels and walking away.
You stare at his back in nothing but confusion. What is wrong with him? Is he not feeling well, maybe?
“Is it just me or does Kyojuro walk very strange today?”, you question, earning endless giggles from Shinobu next to you.
“He does indeed.”
Sanemi Shinazugawa
“Watch out idiot, you’re gonna get hit!”, the white-haired man barks harshly at you before dashing towards again.
It happened faster than you were ready to react. A little troll through the woods at night, a deep conversation with the wind hashira. And just a few seconds later, an upper-ranked demon appeared out of nowhere.
“Don’t let it hit you, (y/n)!”
“I’m not stupid, dumbass!”, you bite back while dodging another hit with a tendril.
What a strange-looking demon that woman is. With countless pink tendrils that act as her hair and her long tongue, she really looks different from every demon you’ve seen before.
“Still fighting for your love, you fool?”, she jeers at Sanemi before trying to hit him once again.
"I will show you what love really is! It's a consuming fire that burns away your sense of self, leaving you hollow and desperate. It's an obsession that blinds you to reality, making every thought, every breath, every heartbeat revolve around the one person who becomes your entire world. In this love, you lose your freedom, your identity, and your sanity, as you sacrifice everything to feed the insatiable hunger that never goes away-“
“Can you just stop talking shit, ugly bitch? I just wanna go home”, Sanemi interrupts her dryly
You chuckle to yourself. As if a demon would know anything about love. Their only purpose on this earth is to kill innocent humans for the fun of it.
“What the hell do you know about love, huh? All you do is destroying it”, you blurt out.
Just a moment of sloppiness, a second of turning your back to the tendrils that surround you like a prison. The second you feel it, it’s already too late.
“(y/n)!”, Sanemi cries out, feet rapidly carrying him to your side in order to slice through that fucking piece of tendril that pierced itself through your leg.
He wraps his arms around you tightly, saves you from clashing onto the ground. But the second you open your eyes again, they don’t look like they did before. No, you look obsessed.
“Hey, look at me (y/n). Come back to me”, he insists, a slight tone of panic now taking over his usual so harsh voice.
What if that bitch poisoned you? Shinobu is miles away, there’s no way in hell he’d make it on time. And even now, tendrils continue to circle both of you, waiting for an opportunity to hurt him as well.
“Just see what love does to you! You’ll have to kill her!”
“What the fuck are you talking about”, he hisses under his breath.
“(y/n)?”
“Sanemi.”
Your voice sounds dark, unpromising, coated in something he’s never heard before.
“Hey, are ya alright?”
You’re moving too fast for him to react. In the split of a second, you sit on top of him, your hands holding his in place while your lips start tracing up and down his neck.
For a moment, Sanemi forgets how to exist.
You’re sitting on top of him.
With your lips pressed against his neck.
Almost instantly, blood shoots up his face and straight into his private parts, eyes widen in…horror?
No, not because of you, not because he doesn’t enjoy to finally feel you this close. But this isn’t you. This is the poison of that fucking demon.
Just before he gets hit as well, he slices through another tendril that was ready to attack both of you.
“You can’t save her and yourself!”, the demon shouts at him in sheer amusement.
“Your love will get you killed!”
“(y/n).”
His voice is as tender as never before, hands now grabbing your arms oh so gently.
“You need to come back to me, okay? This isn’t you, this isn’t…how you feel for me.”
He hates the way his heart starts aching as soon as those words leave his mouth. There’s no way in hell someone like you would ever fall for someone like him if it wasn’t for that demon. Not when you’re so gorgeous, so breathtakingly beautiful, so smart-
“But I love you, Sanemi! And I need you!”, you cry out, lips now only inches away from meeting yours.
“You don’t love me, (y/n). How could you ever love me?”
“Let me show you.”
Just before your hand gets the chance to grab his pants, he swings you around in order to lay on top of you – completely out of breath and flustered like never before.
“You need to focus. We need to kill that bitch”, he tries to remind you while dodging another wave of attacks with his free hand.
“You’ll need to kill her!”
“Shut up!”, he barks at the demon behind him.
But that thing’s right. With you writhing like a snake underneath him and those countless merciless attacks, he can concentrate on neither.
“I’m the only one who’s able to save her-“
“I said shut up!”
“(y/n), please get yourself together”, he breathes out.
God, why do you have to look so damn tempting with your legs wrapped around his waist and eyes as flustered as he’s never seen before? Countless lonely nights, he imagined what you might look like, feel like, sound like.
But this isn’t real. That sudden outburst of love isn’t real.
“Looks like you’re busy, Shinazugawa. Maybe you should do things like that somewhere other than on the battlefield”, a painfully known voice comments behind him dryly.
“Shut up at take care of that bitch. I need to look after (y/n)”, he instructs the serpent hashira sharply before picking you up and sprinting into the woods.
“I need you. Please”, you beg between his arms, the way your hands roam around his chest simply driving him insane.
“You can’t help her!”, a faint female voice cries behind both of you.
Screw that fucking demon. He needs to get the real you back, needs to finally confess his damned feelings. Even if all of this is nothing but poison, he simply can’t live like this anymore. Not when you’re so close to him every day, not when he secretly can’t get enough of that sight in front of him right now.
“Come back to me, (y/n)”, he almost begs while letting you down.
Fuck, what is he supposed to do? What if he’s not able to help you? Even if he sends after Shinobu, you might go insane until she arrives. And what if you do something stupid, what if he isn’t able to protect you? And what if this isn’t the only thing that cursed poison does?
“Don’t you love me? I thought you like me back, I thought we have a future together, I…I can’t do this without you!”, you suddenly scream on top of your lungs while bursting out in tears.
“What? I never said that-“
“I don’t wanna live without you. I…I’ll end this!”
It happens almost too fast for him to react. In the matter of milliseconds, you grab your sword and direct it towards your throat, ready to slice it open with full-force.
“You little idiot”, he hisses through gritted teeth while forcing your blade away.
“I love you so fucking much that it hurts, you’re the only thing I’m thinking about constantly! Can’t you see that you’re driving me crazy since joining the corps!? I love you, (y/n)! I always did and I definitely always will! You’ve got me trapped, goddamn!”
And then he presses his lips against yours. Longingly, passionately, as if you’re air and he cannot breathe. Never in his life, Sanemi longed for something so small yet so big. Each and every night, his mind wandered to your lips, your laugh, just you and your fucking perfect self. He can’t stand the thought of you talking about yourself so badly. Him not loving you? Are you fucking insane?
“Sanemi.”
You breathe his name against his lips oh so sweetly.
Sweetly, with that cheeky undertone he knows so well.
“Is that you, (y/n)?”
When he opens his eyes again, he gets greeted by the gleaming kindness that radiates from your orbs just inches away from his.
“I’m sorry for…throwing myself at you like that…”, you mutter with reddened cheeks.
How embarrassing. You can’t believe you were about to touch his groin without permission. Even if you were poisoned, what the hell has gotten into you? And why do you have to remember all the things you’ve said and done? That would have been the least that cursed poison could have done…
“Don’t be, it’s fine”, Sanemi replies equally awkward.
“But…are you actually into me?”, you mumble followed by a swift gaze.
“I…I mean…-“
“He totally is”, Obanai barges into the conversation from behind.
Giyu Tomioka
“Didn’t you say that-ah! This was supposed to be easy?”, you press out while fighting a bunch of demons.
You really have no idea how you ended up here. Just a few seconds ago, you were having the best sleep of the week when your crow interrupted your slumber as rude as ever and literally dragged you onto the battlefield straight on his side.
His side. Giyu Tomioka, to be exact. The mysterious yet captivating water hashira you are eyeing since the first day of joining the chosen circle of pillars. What is it that ties you onto him like a chain, that forces your mind to wander towards him each and every day without any break?
“I will take care of the right side. Stay focused”, he instructs you as absent as ever, not even sending you a single look while your heart is all over the place.
It’s ridiculous and you know it all too well. A man like Giyu would never fall for someone as clumsy and unsettled at you. He will never look at you the way you look at him, not even daring to send you a single smile. Because you’re nothing but comrades, distant known. If it wasn’t for your responsibilities as pillar, he would have never even talked to you.
And you absolutely hate the way this stinging fact bugs you every single day of your life.
“You’re not focused enough, stupid girl”, a voice way too close suddenly purrs inside your ear.
There’s no time left to react. Not even Giyu Tomioka is able to reach you in time when the demon scratches your neck oh so slightly.
Only enough to spill your blood.
Only enough to make you go absolutely insane.
Your mind gets flooded by a wave of emotions, memories, thoughts. All at once. So rapidly that you feel like fainting any given minute.
“What did you do to her?”
“Nothing hurts more but the truth. Did you ever wonder about what she might feel for you, even love, maybe? I will reveal her darkest secrets, her thoughts that were never said out loud. And when she finally loses her mind completely, I will force her to kill you and afterwards herself!”
Giyu’s eyes widen at those words. You, loving him? He never even dared to think about something like this, not when you are admired by everyone around you. Why would you fall for someone as quiet and boring as him?
He swallows hard. But knowing that deep inside him is definitely different from hearing those words coming out of your mouth.
“Giyu.”
Your voice sounds cold and distant, eyes completely blank.
“(y/n), I will get you out of here, I’m sure Shinobu is able to-“
“I love you.”
You hate him.
No.
You love him?
“And I’ve loved you for so long that I lost count a long time ago. I love the way you walk, the way you inspect the world around you so carefully. I love how tender you are when it comes to children. I love your kindness, your calm voice-“
“Wait, this wasn’t supposed to go like this!”, the demon cries out.
“I love the feeling of your eyes set on me even though I know I’d never stand a chance. You are so much more than a friend to me, so precious that it hurts. And I can’t help but imagine myself lying inside your arms every night. I can’t help but stare at you whenever I catch you training. I can’t stop those butterflies from invading my stomach every time you’re around. I love you with all my heart even though I know you’d never love me back.”
HIs mind goes blank, ocean blue eyes staring at you in sheer disbelief. Suddenly everything else around you goes silent. The demon, the screams from afar. All he’s able to see is you with those tears glistening in your orbs.
Giyu’s heart skips a beat when he begins to realize.
You really mean it. Every word you just said is true.
“But I do feel the same way about you”, he finally replies while cupping your hands with his.
“I just never thought someone like you would fall for someone like me.”
“I would always choose you”, you clarify in an instant.
And then your eyes roll back into your skull, your lifeless body threatens to hit the cold ground.
-later-
“Giyu? Where’s Giyu?”, you croak out before you even open your eyes, your heart hurting so bad that you feel like puking.
What happened? All you’re able to remember is Giyu’s hands intertwined with yours before everything turned black. Or was it just a dream?
“Finally, I was so worried about you, (y/n).”
But no. At this very moment, he still holds onto your hand tightly while looking down at you with his brows furrowed.
“What happened?”
“You were poisoned by a demon and lost consciousness. I carried you to the butterfly estate”, he explains as briefly as ever.
“You…carried me?”
“Of course I did. You were unconscious, like I said.”
“Did we hold hands?”, you blurt out so suddenly that you even scare yourself.
You can feel Giyu sliding back and forth on his chair, eyes avoiding yours at any cost. Oh no, did you make him feel uncomfortable? What if he’s annoyed because of your foolish mistake? You should have never asked him-
“(y/n), do you remember the conversation we’ve had on the battlefield?”, he questions with unspoken hope glimmering inside his orbs.
“I…I don’t remember anything…”, you finally admit.
What did you talk about? Did you insult him? And what about that demon? That thing definitely wasn’t a lower ranked demon.
“You told me you love me.”
Your heart leaves your body and soul behind, glossy eyes staring at him in sheer disbelief. Fuck, did you hear that correctly? You told him you love him?
“I…I said that?”, you stutter.
“I mean…M-maybe I h-hit my head a l-little too h-“
“And I love you too.”
Oh.
This is even more ridiculous.
“You love me?”, you shriek in reply.
“I never thought about the possibility that you might actually like me back. But when that demon poisoned you, when you told me that you love me…I can’t keep this lie up any longer. I love you, (y/n).”
Gently, he wraps his comforting arms around your aching body, allows you to take in his calming scent.
“It embarrasses me that it took a demon to finally say this out loud.”
“But…would you mind telling me what I said?”, you mumble against his neck.
He lifts up your head enough for you to catch a glimpse of his breath-taking smile.
“I’d rather keep these words for myself.
Bonus: Genya Shinazugawa
“Where’s (y/n)!?”, Mitsuri cries out in sheer panic while darting around the estate in a haste.
“(y/n)? I’ve seen her on her way to the hot springs just a few moments ago”, Tanjiro replies in utter confusion.
“Is there somebody else, Tanjiro-kun?”, Mitsuri continues while grabbing Tanjiro’s shoulders roughly.
“Hello, Genya”, you purr.
“(y-y/n)!? What the hell are you doing here, I’m taking a bath!”, Genya cries out with his cheeks already bright red.
But instead of getting lost like he told you to, you let your towel fall to the floor.
And stand in front of him.
Completely naked.
“What are you doing!?”, he shrieks.
In the matter of seconds, he turns himself away from you, his face burning like a thousand fires. Fuck, he’s already flustered when you’re around him in your uniform. But you, butt-naked, in the same hot spring? He’ll definitely die here.
“I needed to see you. There’s actually something I wanted to tell you in a long time, Genya.”
When the water around him starts to move due to you entering the hot spring, he feels like dying out of excitement and fright. You shouldn’t be here together, not when you’re completely naked, not alone. He never prepared himself for something like this to happen, didn’t even allow his mind to wander such places. Fuck, what is he supposed to do?
Suddenly, he finds himself whirled around in your arms, your chest pressed against his.
Your very naked chest.
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.
“What are you doing!?”
“Come on, I saw the looks you were giving me when you thought I wasn’t watching”, you purr while drawing small circles onto his chest.
“I…no…I didn’t mean it…that way…I just think that…that you are awesome. And cute…”, Genya mumbles.
“(Y/N)!”
Another splash, another butt-naked woman that now grabs your shoulders and pulls you out of the water with impressive strength.
“I’m so sorry, Genya! I fear (y/n) mistook the love portion I made for juice!”, Mitsuri bubbles while trying to tame you down.
“CAN THE TWO OF YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE NOW!?”
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