psycoholic

[spirestar]

@heartinhands : ‘ i knew you’d come through for me. ’ (hadestown vergcam......)

"You did not." She practically snarls it, fists balled at her sides. "You. Did. Not." There's ash in her hair turning it grey just like Hell does to her--Leaves her pallid like every human corpse is. A trade to reach the underside, maybe, or just what the journey's done to her. Like he'd ever ask, like he'd care. But she can't even stay angry which only frustrates her more / Not with half-formed jagged armor prodding out at odd angle from his shoulders / Roots and branches of demonic matter jailing him without any caution or concern. It's inhuman and the wrongness of everything's shape here is already beginning to make her sick.

Her devil hisses something awful--its voice here is much louder--as it forms around her arm like a portent of doom, a scythe formed in liquid obsidian that extends out past her palm so she can swing it far behind her back in a wide arc. Freeing him is only the first step, everything else comes after. Cam doesn't have time to hold his hand and she knows as much as it would make her sure she's done the right thing, Vergil would hate her for it. She'll never be glad this has happened. She's only glad the darkness won't let the shining tears in her eyes be seen. "You didn't, Vergil--But you're lucky I did."

[ddaengyoonmin]

-Part One-

Pairing: University student!Jimin x camboy!Hoseok (low key jungkook x Namjoon)

Rating: M/18+

Smut- Angst with a Happy ending-

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings/tags: voyeurism, exhibitionism, sub/dom dynamics(later chapters), masturbation/mutual masturbation, shy!jimin, porn talk, swearing, slight secondhand embarrassment maybe?

Summary: Jimin overhears his classmates discussing their friend and his job as a camboy. The amount of money Hoseok makes in a night catches his attention, and he tunes in to see what this man is all about...

A/n: I’d love to hear your thoughts and feedback on this series and if you think I should keep it going! I have plans for more depending on if we like this series (:

——————

“How much?”

The quiet voice was almost overlooked by the group of four men all huddled around one desk.

Jimin felt his cheeks growing instantly hot.  

He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop.  He couldn’t help it.

The men were all gathered around the desk behind him and talking far too loud for him to not at least catch some of what they were saying.

And what he did hear...

Who could not want to know?

Even if it was Park Jimin, the shy and focused student who’d never said a word in this class to anyone besides the professor.

Though, as soon as five pairs of eyes were all turned on him he started to feel maybe speaking up had been a mistake.

Jimin gulped hard, probably loudly.  He couldn’t hear anything besides a bit of ringing in his ears.

“More than you make in months buddy.” replied one of the men, the shortest of the group, a glossy eyed man with a sleepy face, wearing a casual black hoodie and sporting bleached blonde hair that looked as if he’d still just hopped out of the shower.  His comment seemed to be rude on first take, but Jimin had a feeling that the boy was simply answering his question.  

“I-It’s just.  That’s an insane amount of money for one night...I’ve never heard of anyone being able to do anything like that.  It sounds...fake? Are you sure your friend isn’t pulling your leg?” Jimin chuckled, but he choked on his words a bit, still very nervous to be talking to an entire group of men he’d never spoken with before.  And about this no less.

“It's not.  I’ve watched in on it.” another man in the group spoke this time.  Jungkook.  Jimin did know him, just his name at least.  Everyone did.

He’d had a moment at this university the previous year that almost got him expelled and it had actually gotten on the news.  He spent the summer away, getting some sort of help that he needed and through the rumor mill Jimin had heard he was doing okay.

In a city as big as the one Jimin lived in, news fades fast and it was quickly let go of.  Minus the occasional snicker when Jungkook entered a large room, no one brought it up to him.

He widened his eyes and tried to show Jimin his honesty.  Jimin felt the sincerity in the puppy dog eyes of the dark haired boy speaking with him.  They really weren’t fucking with him.

Jimin had known porn was good money, but to hear that was how much their friend had made in tips in a night being a “cam boy” was not expected.

Not even half of the number they’d said is what Jimin had been expecting.  That was more money than Jimin's rent...in a day.  He still couldn’t believe it.

He told himself it couldn’t be helped that he bit his lip and thought a few seconds too long on whether or not that amount of money could sway a person like himself to consider something so…

Bold? Terrifying? Frowned upon?

There were many words to describe what Jimin’s preconceived notions on this line of work were.

“He’s not shy about cute guys looking in on him,” Jungkook chuckled pulling his phone out of his pocket, “Do you wanna know his cam name? Watch one of his shows if you don’t believe me.  I’m thought of as many things already I’d hate to add being a liar to that list.”

If Jimin’s cheeks hadn’t been noticeably red before, they were now.

“T-that’s fine…” He stuttered, trying to stop the taller boy from walking over by waving a hand quickly at him.

Jungkook paused mid step gesturing his hands to go along with an exaggerated halt and freeze in place.  A somehow charismatic yet goofy move that almost made Jimin break a smile.

“You sure?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow.

Jimin nodded and turned back to face the front of the classroom.

“Thanks though!” he snapped his head back around quickly, not wanting to be rude.

Jungkook gave a thin but sincere smile his long wavy hair bouncing as he nodded towards Jimin.  

The group returned to discussing more things about this friend of theirs.

Hoseok was what they had called him.  Occasionally the name Hobi came from the lips of a couple of them, but Jimin assumed that was a nickname.  It was a cute nickname.

Something about it made Jimin smile to himself and he realized he’d now been doodling flowers on his class notes.  He used to do that quite a bit back when he was younger in school.  It’d been a while.

Getting to daydream on the thought of this Hoseok and his luxurious and confident lifestyle as a cam-boy had Jimin feeling like he had a new superhero.

Jimin was a plain person, that was how he viewed himself.

His father’s job had his family moving every summer so he hadn’t ever made lasting friends.  In fact, the past two years he’d been staying at this university was the longest he’d stayed in one place since he was a child.

He sighed and noticed his doodles had gone all over his page and he was running out of room.

The professor finally arrived, and looked to the group of boys who were still gathered behind Jimin.

“Hello! I appreciate your interest in creative writing class, maybe you can sign up next semester!” He spoke in a sarcastic tone as he waved them out.

The one from the group still sitting at his desk must be the only one actually in the class, Jimin assumed.  Not surprised at himself for being a month into school and not noticing anyone.

Not noticing things, and not being noticed had been a habit for Jimin.  It kept him from getting attached to one place too long.  From any person too long.

The one from the group still at the desk had never come onto Jimin's radar.  He didn’t even know his name.  He was an interesting looking person, messy hair that looked wet just like the blonde man’s hair had, though he had a wavy mop of brown hair instead.

The group made their way out the door, passing Jimin's desk on their way.  One of them that hadn’t spoken to him stood out to Jimin, an even taller man with the sides of his head shaved and his blonde hair slicked back had his arm around Jungkook now.

The two stopped at Jimin's desk.  He felt his entire body tense up and he slowly lifted his head to meet them.

Jungkook chuckled and slipped a piece of paper under the bottom of Jimin’s notebook.

He hung his jaw and his mouth was wide open waiting for words to come out to protest, but nothing came.

“Just check him out.” Jungkook winked and then the taller man tightened his grip on him and turned with him to walk away, chuckling and shaking his head at his partner.

“You’re like his fucking pimp.” The sleepy looking man laughed as he shook his head.

The group of them left, chatting and laughing the whole way out the door.

Jimin’s eyes followed them the whole way out before snapping back down to the paper under his notebook.

The friend left behind leaned forward and tapped Jimin on the shoulder.

“Sorry about them.” He laughed.  He was leaning so far forward that Jimin thought he might topple over. “I’m Taehyung by the way!” He was actually extending out his hand to shake Jimin’s.  

That was genuinely amusing and he couldn’t help but find this man absolutely goofy and adorable.  

“Jimin.” He replied, cautiously putting his hand in the other man’s.  “That’s cool you shake hands.” He spoke awkwardly, unsure of what else to say.

“Yeah?” Taehyung simply cocked an eyebrow at him, returning to his seat and turning silent.

The professor called everyone to attention and the class began.

Jimin worried that his last comment had been strange and spent the entire lesson overthinking just that.

Completely forgetting the small slip of paper still sitting under his notebook.

After class was over Jimin stood and started to gather his things. He was tapped on the shoulder again and he turned to once again see Taehyung.

“Are you gonna do it?” Taehyung asked, his voice in a slight excited song, as if he was a young school boy talking to another about a dare.

“You’re quite nosy.” Jimin returned, awkwardly reaching for the note Jungkook had slipped him and putting it in the back pocket of his jeans.

“Says the man listening in while we talk about our friend stripping online.” Taehyung laughed.

“Fair.” Jimin laughed nervously, bringing his hand up to slide through his long dirty blonde hair that could use a bit of touch up as his dark roots were coming in. “I was more interested in the money than your friend.  To clear things up.” Jimin threw the words out quickly.

Taehyung had slung his bag over his shoulder and was now walking past Jimin.

“Sure.” He winked, shaking his head and laughing.

Jimin reached into his back pocket after Taehyung had cleared the room and he was sure no one was looking over his shoulder.  He pulled out the rolled up note and slowly unwrapped it with his hands.  Jimin wasn’t sure why he was nervous, but something about this had his heart thudding.

He’d watched porn a few times.  If you count ‘googling “ass” online and panicking when the first pop-up ad came up’ watching porn.  Then yes.  Jimin had seen porn.  There was nothing to be nervous about, he continued to assure himself.  It was only the name.  It's not like a naked picture of the man was going to drop out of it.

He took a deep breath in and opened it all the way.

J-hope

He exhaled quite loudly and chuckled.  He didn’t know why he was expecting something like “dick pumper6969” to be on the paper in front of him, but he was pleasantly surprised to see that it was more of a stage name.

That fact though certainly didn’t make Jimin any less intimidated.

Was he really thinking about doing this?

--------------

Yes.  

He was.

Now back at his solo dorm that he’d landed thanks to his father’s deep canyon of a wallet, Jimin was relaxed in his bed.

Fully clothed in his light blue plaid pajama bottoms and a loose grey t-shirt.  Jimin had been very clear with himself he wasn’t going to jack off.  No.  This was for research.

Jungkook hadn’t given this to him for that reason.  That talk about “J-hope” liking cute guys watching him was a joke right?  

Maybe all of this was a joke…

Jimin almost shut the laptop in front of him in panic.  The light blue glow of the screen was the only thing lighting up the room.  Lighting up Jimin’s nervous quivering lips as he typed the name into the search bar on the site that Jungkook had listed under it.

It was almost too easy how quickly he was able to locate him.  A small part of Jimin had wished that there was no J-hope and that this was just a weird moment in life he could forget about.

But,  the small thumbnail popped right under Jimin's cursor as if by fate.

He could see a screen captured image of a man with a beautiful smile, the biggest he’d ever seen, and also the biggest… holy…

Jimin slammed the laptop quickly.  It closed with a smack and Jimin was a bit nervous he’d cracked his screen.

Though the main thing on his mind was…

That…

Jimin felt himself almost involuntarily gulp.

He’d always been sure of his sexuality, he knew that girls weren’t his preferred attraction, but he did find some quite beautiful, and he’d also learned that men made him blush more than he’d ever thought possible.

On both accounts he was a nervous wreck.  Maybe that's why he was still a virgin.

Maybe that's why when he saw that on the screen he almost forgot how to breath.

He’d never seen a cock that beautiful.

Of course he hadn’t seen many.  But even if someone hadn’t seen many…

What Jimin had just seen was something to behold.

J-hope had been sitting shirtless in a large black leather chair that seemed to be rolled up to his desk his laptop and camera were sitting on.

Jimin’s eyes didn’t have much time to linger on the bedroom decor before they snapped front and center to the middle of J-hope’s thumbnail.  He was flexing slightly, his toned abs curling in slightly as his hand was gripping his long and hard length.  Jimin found himself thinking that it was honestly one of the most glorious things he’d ever witnessed.

He was tempted to open the laptop back up.  But he’d promised himself he wasn’t going to jack off while watching Jungkook and Taehyung’s friend.  

He already felt slightly pervy from how much he was turned on, and how hard his own cock already was now while picturing J-hope’s fingers wrapped around his dick.  Picturing only seconds ago when he was curling them around the base, his thumb had only been just barely resting against his middle finger.  Jimin gulped.  He needed to see more.

The laptop was back on his lap and slowly and cautiously being opened.

Now back on the page, Jimin was giving himself a small pep talk.  This gorgeous man was behind a screen and so was he.   There was no reason to be nervous.

He was already on the page where J-hope's thumbnail still showed his room.  Jimin felt quick fluttering against the inside of his chest and took a few more deep breaths to calm himself down.  His curiosity was stronger than his nervousness.  

 All he needed to do was one *Click*

Jimin gasped slightly, it seemed his fingers decided to just go for it.

Now, much larger and much closer, the image of J-hope seemed to smile right in at Jimin in his own bedroom.  As if he was looking right at him, his dark and heavy lidded eyes stared directly into the camera as he slowly gave shallow pumps with his hand to the base of his cock.

Jimin gulped once more.

Suddenly there was a loud sound of a bell that had Jimin nearly jumping out of his bed in surprise.  His hand quickly shot to turn his volume down a few notches, and he caught a glimpse of a message on the screen.

Next to the large video of J-hope that was taking up half of the screen, was a chat room.  The newest message was highlighted in a bright blue, the username was long and almost unreadable with lots of numbers.   Another number stood out to Jimin though.  After the username was written : tipped 4000 tokens.

The smiling man on screen leaned forward towards the camera.

Jimin couldn’t help but squeak in response to the slow wink and lip bite that he performed while making eye contact with the camera.  Again, Jimin couldn’t help but feel like he was looking directly at him.  

He was so good.  He literally was shining charisma out of every pore.  If he even had pores…

Jimin was starting to think there were no flaws to be found in him.  It was intimidating, and sexy, and definitely not helping the situation that  had grown in Jimin’s pants that he was desperately trying to ignore.

He decided to tear his eyes away from the man on his laptop and to look up what that 4000 token tip had actually meant.

Then he looked it up on at least five other sites before finally believing that yes.  In just the couple minutes Jimin had been tuned in J-hope had already almost made what Jimin made in a week at his part time job. In one tip.

His jaw hung open and his eyes shot back to the screen to watch as more tips were rolling in.  Some only 1 token at a time, some by the hundreds.  

J-hope had returned to leaning back in his chair, relaxing as he stroked himself.  Occasionally he bit at his lip, he’d let it roughly roll between his teeth, letting out low breathy grunts.

Jimin was hypnotized by it now.  He didn’t know what to be more in awe of.  The complete god in front of him to the left, or the constant incoming stream of money that he was making.

“I’m getting close, where should I cum?” He spoke.

It was the first time he’d spoken.  And *those* were the filthy words falling from his lips.

Jimin felt himself almost cum in his pajama pants right then.

The largest amount of tokens Jimin had seen him receive yet came in along with a message from the tipper saying “In hand,  Then show.”

J-hope’s messy and now damp hair was clinging to his forehead in the sexiest way.  He gave one small nod to the camera.  

Then threw his head back parting his mouth as he let out a few more louder moans, he’d been edging himself for quite some time and it was obvious by his now shaking thighs that he wasn’t going to last for much longer.

The entire chat was filled with tips, from 1 token all the way to 1000.

Jimin didn’t quite mean to do what he did next.  More so he’d like to think that he had no control over the way his hands moved the laptop off of his lap.  Or the way that they quickly slid into his pajama pants and tugged at his own hard and aching cock needily along with J-hope.

Like the man had him in a trance, Jimin's eyes could not leave the screen and hips were now lifting slightly off the bed.  His lips were hung open in a part and his tongue was begging to taste the man on the other side of the screen and his hand was quickly and desperately moving up and down his length as he stared in awe.

At the same time both men let out a loud moan.  The other man in more of a growl, and Jimin falling into a series of whimpers and whines.

Jimin felt his body shake as he finally reached the high he’d been chasing.  It was like nothing he’d felt before.  To know that the man on the other side of the screen was live meant they’d actually just came together at the same time.  

Jimin started to feel somewhat special about that fact before he quickly came back to the reality that more than likely so had many other people watching this man.  Something close to jealousy prickled in Jimin’s chest for a moment, and he decided to shove it deep down and go back to paying attention to the very naked man still in front of him on his screen.

J-hope was giving the camera the perfect angle of his cock as it twitched, his hand that was not still wrapped around and milking out his cum was messily catching all he could and pooling it in his hand.

Jimin’s eyes still hadn’t left for a moment.  Having just came inside his pajama pants he now felt like a completely dirty mess, he could feel the sticky heat against his inner thigh now dripping down. But he didn’t want to get up to clean himself up.  Not while J-hope was still online, he couldn’t tear himself away.

Jimin knew it was likely just the lingering effects of the comedown of a great cum...but watching J-hope’s casual way of smirking and cockily joking with the members in the chat had him feeling like he was falling in love.  

Or maybe that was the point wasn’t it?

Jimin now realized the obvious, all of these other users on here were likely falling under the same infatuation.  

That’s what made him so good.

J-hope continued to chat with the members in his room for a bit and Jimin watched every moment of it until he said his goodbyes.

At the end of the night the man that Jungkook and his friends had told him about really had made more than what Jimin could hope to make in an entire month.

He’d also managed to leave Jimin a mess in his bed in a matter of minutes.  With both of those things together Jimin knew his interest in this man wouldn’t be going away for a long time.

------------

A few days later Jimin was heading back into his class he shared with Taehyung.  He was feeling a bit nervous that Taehyung would ask him how it went, or if Jungkook would be there to follow through on whether or not he looked in at it.

Another part of him also hoped they’d just forgotten about it, maybe it really was normal for Jungkook to just randomly try and gain his friend new viewers and they wouldn’t even remember Jimin was one of them.

He walked into the class nervously, keeping his head down as usual, until he got to his seat, noticing an extra figure gathered around Taehyung's desk with the group that had been there before.

No...It couldn’t be…

Jimin sat down in his seat quickly and turned his head to face front, even though nothing was occurring at the front of the class, he acted like the blank whiteboard in front of him had the most interesting information he’d ever learned on it.

Because, behind him right now was Hoseok.

His stomach was filled with butterflies and his mind was spinning so fast he felt a bit dizzy.

The group had fallen hush when Jimin walked in, he heard a small chuckle from Jungkook and felt as if all the eyes had turned to him.

“Him?”

Jimin heard a soft whisper from a familiar voice say.  

He silently prayed that they were talking about anything else but him.  Though that seemed to be quite a big reach.

He gulped and pretended not to notice, pulling out his notebook and trying to go about class as usual.

There was a soft chuckle from Hoseok and another boy tsk’d and said “He’s shy huh?”

Jimin choked on a sharp breath he’d been taking in and tried to play it off as clearing his throat, still trying his best to not turn around, to pretend that this embarrassing moment wasn't happening.

Suddenly the empty seat next to him was being filled by the last person he wanted from the group to approach him.

Hoseok was wearing casual sweatpants and a red jacket that read the name of their university along with “swim team” on it.  That explained the wet messy hair of the group he’d always noticed.

Hoseok was also rocking a damp and tousled look, more beautiful than anything Jimin had ever seen.  He was casually propping his head up with his hand, his elbow relaxed on the desk in front of him as he grinned at Jimin.

“Hi.” His sweet silky voice spoke.  

Jimin shouldn’t have been startled, he’d noticed him sit down, yet he almost jumped out of his skin still.  Wide-eyed he turned to face the man sitting beside him.

He was already laughing and shaking his head, seeming very amused by Jimin’s jumpiness.

“So I’m assuming you recognize me.” He smirked and winked at Jimin, who was now thoroughly mortified.

Why in the world would he bring that up so casually.  It was only a theory but now Jimin definitely knew Jungkook had told his friend about the shy boy he’d given his name out to.

“I-I-I” Was the only thing Jimin could let out from his quivering lips.

Hoseok raised an eyebrow.  “Oh god.” He laughed “So yes.” he winked at him.  Bringing back memories from the night Jimin had seen him wink so charismatically at his camera, and memories of....

No. He can't think of that right now.  Not with him right next to him.

“I-I’m sorry.” Jimin managed out.

Hoseok shifted back in his seat a bit now crossing his arms, “You’re sorry? Why’s that?”

He was so relaxed and confident and just everything Jimin felt that he wasn’t.

“I’m sorry I looked, your friends...they said…” Jimin shook his head, not even wanting to finish.  He looked down to his lap, not able to meet the other man’s eyes.

Hoseok belly laughed at that.  

“Nothing to be sorry for.  I’ve told them they can do that.  I obviously don’t hate people watching.” He winked again.

Jimin nodded, still unsure of what Hoseok was doing here talking to him, it seemed almost as if he just wanted to embarrass him, to get a reaction from him.

“Okay.” Jimin said simply, briefly meeting Hoseok's beautiful and amused gaze.

“They also said you were really interested in the money aspect of it all.” He spoke more seriously. “Did you wanna ask me anything about it?”

“Oh!” Jimin suddenly squeaked out. “Yeah...that's really all I was wondering, I’m really sorry if this came off weird.”  seizing his opportunity to deflect from the fact that he’d definitely watched this man cum before.

But instead of matching his now more confident way of speaking, Hoseok's face seemed to fall slightly.

“Ah, yeah that was all.” He muttered, his lips curled up into a tiny smirk, almost a fake smile as if he was trying to hide some form of disappointment he was feeling. He shook his head.  “Nothing weird about any of it.”

They were both quiet for only a few seconds, that felt like hours to Jimin.

“Can...Can I ask how much you make in a month on there?” Jimin asked to hopefully keep conversation with Hoseok, who didn’t seem to be wanting to leave and return to his friends who had all gone back into talking about swim practice or something Jimin could barely hear.

Hoseok told him and laughed at the way Jimin’s eyes bugged out of his head.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Hoseok smiled that confident smile at him. “Have you ever thought about trying it?”

Jimin returned with a nervous laugh. “Oh no.  i could never.”  he then added in a “No offence” in case Hoseok took that as an insult.

“I’m not confident like you.”

Without a moment's hesitation Hoseok was grabbing Jimin by the chin and turning his face left to right, snatching the breath right out from Jimin’s lungs as he did.

He looked Jimin over and up and down.

“Sometimes when you’re that cute you don’t even need confidence.  Some guys like the shy thing.” Hoseok then retracted his hand back, leaving Jimin to sit in pure astonishment at his touch.  Jimin could still feel his soft fingertips against his chin even after he’d pulled away, and his mouth was now hanging open slightly.

“I-I’m not…” Without the distraction of his touch, he now realized what Hoseok had actually said.

“You are.” Hoseok spoke as if it was an unarguable fact.

At that moment the professor got there and the group of men behind them started to gather their things to leave.

“Hobi!” one of them called out, motioning for their friend it was time to go.

He nodded a small nod to the tall man who’d spoken, the one that seemed to be Jungkook’s boyfriend, and then turned back to Jimin.

“If you wanna talk more about it…” He gently took Jimin’s hand in his, taking his breath right from him again, he put a small piece of paper in his hand and took his other hand to gently curl Jimin's fingers closed around it.

He then stood up and followed his friends down the side of the classroom to leave, they seemed to be teasing him about their interaction, which made Jimin blush as he stared on.

Hoseok gave one last look his way before leaving, his smile was so genuine and pure.

Forgetting that one friend of his was still left behind him, Jimin let out an airy sigh and unrolled the paper in his hand.

“So he gave you his number?” Taehyung chuckled, “That's so Hobi.”

Indeed on the paper was a phone number with the name Hobi and a heart drawn over the dot on the “i”.

‘That's so Hobi’.  

So he did this type of thing often.  Jimin tried to not get a big head about it, the man was probably just a flirt trying to make more money on his cam site right?

That or he always used it as his go-to pick up line.  Either way, Jimin didn’t feel like entertaining someone who might be a player.  He felt his heart sink a bit at that.

Once again he’d found himself starting to feel special for this man’s attention, when it was likely only the act he gave everyone.

He wouldn’t text him.

[heavcnslyre]

ricky bowen x reader second series!! part one

— (continuation) starstruck au!

first series | series masterlist, part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine, part ten

IN WHICH you cherish the last few days you have with ricky before he leaves for california.

WARNINGS n / a

NOTES first part of my new series!!!! super cheesy but it’s sweet hope you enjoy!!

text dividers from @writeyourmindaway

lowercase intended

( tags: @hesvoid34 @omgdani17 )

you smiled at ricky’s last message and clicked your phone off, cuddling back into your sheets. ricky had been staying with you the past few days and it was nice to be able to spend time with him, but he was leaving tomorrow. you constantly thought about how different it’s going to be— with him in california and you in new york. you lived such different lives: you were a high school senior in a random city in new york and he was a famous singer in los angeles, california. you were nervous to be away from him for so long, but you knew it wasn’t forever.

you had almsot drifted off to sleep again when you heard your bedroom door open and close. you opened your eyes and peeped over at ricky, who grinned at you when you made eye contact.

“good morning,” he said. he was carrying a box of donuts which he set on your bed close to your feet.

“morning!” you replied cheerfully as you sat up and grabbed the box. he sat on the bed carefully next to you. you pulled out a jelly filled donut.

“i am going to make such a mess on my bed,” you commented, powder already falling from your donut onto the sheets. he laughed and grabbed a glazed donut.

“no surprise there.”

you laughed and took a bite of your donut. after a minute, you turned to him. “what should we do today?”

“hm,” he thought for a moment. “good question.”

“i wish it wasn’t your last day here,” you said. “i have to go back to real life when you leave.”

ricky laughed. “yeah, it’s really been a nice escape, being here with you.”

you snuggled back into your blankets and looked up at him. “you could just stay. my whole family loves you, sure it’d be fine.”

“you know i would if i could,” he brushed your hair behind your ear. “i guess i have a career to get to, though.”

you hummed. “yeah. guess that’s sort of important, huh?”

“i guess,” he said. “you’re more important though, obviously.”

you smiled and grabbed his hand, tracing lines on it. “will you be recording ‘common sense’ when you get back?”

“of course,” ricky grinned. “i’ll release it as soon as possible.”

“i want to be the first to hear the recorded version.”

“well, it is about you, so sure.”

the two of you sat and talked for a while before you heard a knock on the door. you told them to come in and camilla peeked her head in the door.

“oh— uh, hi. sorry,” she said nervously. she had started to get used to the fact that you were dating ricky, but she was still a huge fan of his and wasn’t quite used to seeing him in her little sisters bed.

“hey cam. what’s up?” you asked.

“mom and dad wanted me to let you know we’re going to go out and get dinner tonight since ricky’s leaving tomorrow,” she said ricky’s name somewhat nervously, as if she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to address him casually.

“sounds great,” ricky smiled at camilla. she smiled back, in a you’re-my-sisters-boyfriend-and-i-think-i-approve type way. you nudged the box of donuts with your foot.

“donuts, if you want some.”

she peeked in the box. “any jelly filled?”

“should be a couple more in there,” ricky said. she grabbed one from the box.

“thanks guys. i’m thinking about going to a few shops today with my friend, if you wanted to tag along,” she said as she moved to the door. you looked at ricky and he shrugged.

“yeah, sure. just let us know when you’re going,” you said and camilla nodded before leaving your room. you turned to ricky.

“i think she’s getting used to having you here.”

he nodded. “definitely an improvement from when i came over after the dance.”

you laughed at the memory. when you returned home that day with ricky, ashlyn, and big red, you swore that camilla’s eyes popped out of her head. her face was red the whole time she spoke to him and she rambled on and on. of course, ricky listened and didn’t mind, but you thought her behavior was funny. shes usually so confident, and seeing her nervous was weird for you. you were just glad that she was getting used to him now and that they got along. you weren’t sure what you would do if your family didn’t like him.

“you ready to go?” your mom asked, walking into the living room where you and ricky were watching a movie. you looked over at her and nodded.

“yeah. are we driving together or seperate?”

your mom shrugged. “you guys can drive seperate, if you want. cam’s meeting us there.”

“okay,” you turned to ricky. “you wanna drive or should i?”

“do you really want to drive?” ricky asked teasingly. you laughed and rubbed your eyes.

“maybe not. maybe you should,” he laughed and stood up, offering you a hand. you grabbed it and pulled yourself up.

“what restaurant is it we’re going to?” ricky asked your mom.

“applebee’s on third street. (y/n) knows where it is if you can’t find it.”

“okay, awesome.”

ricky grabbed his keys and the two of you left right behind your parents. ricky rested his hand on your leg and you scrolled through your phone. as you were on twitter, a thought popped into your mind.

“hey ricky? can i ask you something?”

“of course.”

“when do you think you’ll say something about us being together?” you asked gently, in a tone that hopefully portrayed that you weren’t mad, just curious. he thought for a second.

“maybe when i release common sense?” he suggested, glancing over at you. “i feel like by then things will be calmed down enough and i can be truthful about who it’s about.”

you grabbed his hand and intertwined your fingers. “that’s perfect.”

“so, ricky,” your dad asked as you were sitting at the restaurant. “do you have anything you’re working on when you get back to california?”

ricky hummed. “i actually have an album in the works and theres potential for a role in a movie as well. but i’m also going to be focusing on spending time on myself and people i care about.”

you and ricky made eye contact and you smiled. you had had a conversation about how he puts too much on his plate and that he needed to focus on doing what he wanted to do, and he really took that to heart. he planned to spend more time writing his music and he was only going to do this movie if it felt right for him.

“that’s a great plan,” your dad said. “i’m excited to see how you do in the future.”

“thank you, mr. (y/l/n), that really means a lot to me,” he said. “when do you think you guys will make it out to california next?”

“definitely the summertime,” your mom said. “i’d love if we could go sooner but... going across the country isn’t necessarily a weekend trip.”

“yeah, i get that,” ricky laughed. “summers not too far, though!”

“yeah, in the meantime you can just take a drive to glendale and become best friends with my grandma,” you teased. ricky laughed.

“very true.”

the five of you sat and talked at dinner for over an hour, and your family got to know ricky. it was really nice to see them getting along. eventually, you all decided it was time to leave and let other people have your table. as you were walking out in the parking lot, ricky turned to your parents.

“i think (y/n) and i will go for a bit of a drive, if that’s alright?” he asked. your dad nodded and checked his watch.

“sure thing. just drive careful and be back before 12?”

“awesome, thanks!” ricky said and the two of you walked hand-in-hand back to your car.

“so, where are we going?” you asked as you got into the passengers seat.

“just for a drive. nowhere specific. besides, i know nothing about your city. we might get lost.”

you laughed. “this city isn’t that big. but getting lost is not that big of a deal. we’ll figure it out.”

“i’ve said this before— no one i’d rather get lost with than you,” ricky said, then grinned at you. you grinned back and grabbed his hand.

“right back at you.”

you and ricky ended up getting ice cream then finding a park to walk around in. but then, you quickly realized that it was new york in the middle of january, and you were freezing. you sat in the car together, sitting and talking as you looked at the stars. you had learned a lot about each other recently and you just continued to learn new things about him. you were able to pick up on little things he did; like run his hand through his hair when he was talking a lot and how his ears turned red when he got embarrassed.

ricky drove the two of you back to your house right around 11:30. everyone was asleep, as you assumed they would be. you made your way upstairs and into bed and ricky slipped in next to you, a few minutes later. you cuddled up next to him and he wrapped his arms around you.

“i’m going to miss this when you leave,” you sighed. he held you tighter.

“yeah. me too.”

“are you sure you have everything?” you asked ricky nervously, handing him one of his bags at the airport. your parents had left to go look at some of the shops to let you say goodbye. he gave you a light smile.

“yes. and if i forgot anything, you can just mail it to me. or, we can use it as an excuse to see each other sooner,” you laughed.

“are you sure you’ll be okay flying by yourself? are you comfortable?” you asked, he lifted your chin so you would look him in the eye.

“love, i’ll be fine. don’t worry,” your face softened and you leaned in to kiss him. he moved his arms to your waist and you moved yours to around his neck. when you pulled back, you rested your forehead against his.

“i can’t believe you’re going to be across the country from me, and in a different time zone,” you said. he rubbed your back.

“i know. but i’ll call you, everyday. call, not just text. and... i’ll update you on everything i’m working on, my songs, the movie, whatever.”

you nodded and pulled away from him. “just... take care of yourself, ricky. and don’t find another girl to be with in california.”

“trust me, i won’t,” he laughed. “my heart is here, with you.”

“so cheesy,” you teased. ricky rolled his eyes fondly.

“flight 258 to los angeles, california is now boarding!” you heard over the loud speakers. you sighed.

“guess you should go,” you said.

“guess i should.”

you smooth out his sleeves distractedly. “text me as soon as you land, okay? and say hi to big red for me, and your parents.”

“i will. my parents are excited to meet you for real, soon.”

“i’m excited to meet them. june, hopefully. then you, me, red and ashlyn will be altogether again. that’ll be nice.”

“yeah it will be! and i can finally show you more of california. it’ll be great,” you nodded.

“okay, enough of these cheesy goodbyes. no ones dying. facetime me later, i’ll see you soon.”

you kissed him again quickly and he turned to get to his gate as the warning was called for his flight. you sighed as you watched him leave. before he walked onto his plane, he turned around and waved at you. you waved back, a big smile on your face, and he turned to walk onto his plane. as he disappeared from your vision, your parents and camilla approached you.

“he board his plane?” your dad asked. you nodded.

“you okay?” camilla asked you gently. you looked over and nodded. she put her arm around your shoulder. “c’mon. lunch is on me.”

[impaladolan]

Capture - Grayson Dolan [10/-]

summary: memories.

warnings: fluff, angst, & a little bit of swearing

a/n: i really liked writing this part, no matter how long it took me.. haha..

tag(s): @dearestbailey !

note: for purposes of respect, his father’s name is Brutus Dolan.

"Please be careful, your friends are pretty reckless. Especially at night, Grayson." Y/N warned with a worried glint in her eyes, a sore, unwanted feeling settling in the lowest part of her stomach.

Wrapping his muscled arms around her, he reassured her with a soft hum that vibrated against her neck. "I'll make sure they're careful, sweetheart." He tightened the embrace, like he was holding on for the very last time— in which he would..

And she returned it just as taut, as though she could foresee the unforgivable future..

"Y/N?" His mellowed voice shook the air around him as he questioned her name, withholding the tears that would soon fall the moment he left her arms.

"Yes, Grayson?" She held onto his name, letting her tongue slide over it for the millionth time. It'd never get old, the way his name made her heart flutter and her head spin.

"You know that I love you.." He took a large breath in, exhaling slowly through his nose, "And I want you in my future, for the rest of my life, however long forever lasts." His cheeks warmed as his eyes filled to the brim with the pain and acknowledgement of the near future.

"Just stay with me tonight, I'm sure your friends won't mind." Y/N could feel the doubt and sadness that washed over his tanned skin, and it made her heart sink. She wasn't sure what it all was, but this goodbye felt different.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." He withdrew his firm grasp of her, settling his eyes on her own saddened ones. She suspected something, he could tell, but she would have no idea of what is to come in the later hours of this very night.

He slipped his calloused hands around her cheeks, faintly drawing patterns with his thumb as he took in her face for what could be the final glimpse. And before he could control himself, he rested his lips against hers in a rhythmic beat, holding onto the lasting feeling of her lips on his.

So surreal.

"I love you too." Her words boomed in his ears and made his heart pump ten times faster, after breaking away from each other's warmth.

Grayson let her words sink in through his ears and blend into his blood, caging her voice in his head for the rest of eternity.

He took a couple steps back, sparing one more glance before brushing his fingertips against the door handle, leaving with a quick huff and slam of the door.

If he wouldn't of left then, he would've never been able to leave ever.

Tears began to trickle down his face, staining his cheeks red as the wind whipped against his face and his choked-up sobs closed his throat.

Y/N didn't shed a tear, she had an eerie feeling, but she couldn't bare the thought of a life without him— so she didn't think of it at all.

-

"That's impossible.." Your voice gloomed as your brows furrowed into a dark mix of confusion and surprise, bringing that inordinate sense of tears filling your eyes.

You wouldn't cry, not in front of him.

You aimlessly searched the room with your wandering pupils, anything to stray away from meeting his mournful gaze. "He died ten years ago, in a crash.." Those very words made your stomach churn and uproar with anger and hurt. An unexpected sob rushed its way through your mouth and broke the barricade of tears that filled your eyes, short hiccups following in suit.

"There's a lot of explaining to do, I know, but please trust me—"

"You expect me to trust you?" Anger now rushed through your burning veins, your stained cheeks becoming a fiery red. The overflowing amount of tears that seeped from your eyes had rolled all the way down your chin and neck, the fabric of your shirt absorbing the warm liquid.

"No Y/N, I don't." He began with his jaw clenched, frustration beaming from his countenance, "But please let me explain myself, I beg you." His hand slid its way around yours, but you declined his warmth and drew your hand away.

You didn't respond right away, although the desperation had clouded your head and you took a seat. "What's his favorite color?"

"Green."

"Brothers name."

"Ethan."

"Sister's na—"

"Cam."

"Favorite food."

"Pancakes." He smiled.

"Birthday."

"December 16, 1999."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

"Fuck you." You oh-so-softly smiled, your stomach fluttering. You were convinced, surprisingly easy, but you couldn't help the familiarity of his face and body, though there were a lot of differences as well...

The two of you stood in silence for what could possibly be forever. You wiped the drying tears from your cheeks, sniffling the remnants of your emotional state away.

"Would you like to talk in the garden?" He questions, breaking the pause and raising his arm just enough for your own to hook around it, a pleading smile curving his lips.

Oh, how you wanted to giggle and wear a cheesy grin like you would've done all those years ago, but everything has changed. You've grown up, matured from teenager to adult, dealt with the side effects of losing a loved one at such a young age.

It wasn't easy after he left.

"I guess.." You answered, crossing your arms over your chest. You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of your skin on his, something he's taken for granted.

Saddened, he lets his arm fall back to his side. "I forgot how stubborn you were." He chuckled, motioning you to follow as he began a walk in an uncertain direction.

"You've forgotten a lot of things.." You murmured, sighing as you begrudgingly trail after him.

It wasn't too long of a trail to get to what you assumed to be the backyard of such an estate, which of course had an utterly beautiful and blooming garden. The both of you were stood on the cement patio, halfway dry and wet from all the rain, you had noticed.

"Here." He handed you a pair of bright red rain boots, eerily the correct size. He had his own, purple rubber covering almost up to his knees as a plasticy yellow coat hung on his shoulders. It was a humorous sight, such an intimidating man looking like an eight year-old excited to play in the mud.

Child at heart, huh.

He helped you into a smaller coat like his, making it difficult to hold back an awful grin. You didn't share any words as the two of you began the path that led to the garden of sorts. There seemed to be two sides; one for vegetables and one for all the colorful flowers.

"It wasn't my choice, y'know.." He spoke aloud, walking side-by-side with you down an aisle of vibrant purple and blue tulips. You hummed in question, traveling your fingers softly over the delicate petals of a certain petunia, a rosy pink one that faded into white.

"To leave you that night, unknowingly saying goodbye for the last time. I didn't want to do it."

"Then why did you." It was more of a demand from your lips than a question.

"My father needed me." He seethed, an anger arising in his tone at the remembrance.

"I needed you." You stated under your breath, sucking in a large breath. "Who were all those men in that room the other day?" You questioned, changing the subject to ease his frustration.

"My men, and I'm sorry abo—"

"No you're not, you enjoyed that." You knew he would try to apologize for embarrassing you in front of a crowd, but does he really think you're that innocent to believe him? Not anymore, now.

He kept silent, although a small smirk crept on his lips. "Explain who your "Men" are." You had had enough of all the questions in your head, and now seems like the perfect time to discuss them, finally get some answers for once.

"They work for me and my business. It was my father's before mine and Ethan's." His low voice echoed outside, bouncing against all the trees and wildlife.

"How's Ethan?" You pondered, slightly wondering if she's seen him at all.

"He's doing fine, a ladies man from what the boys say." He chuckles, sticking his hands in his pockets. "We haven't been talking much lately, just business inquiries and such. He misses you, a lot."

"I miss him too, and Cam." You reminisce on all those old memories, smiling to yourself. "How's your mother? The last time I talked to her was graduation." You furrow your brows, sorrowful that you hadn't kept in touch with such a kind women.

"She's as good as ever, still compares everyone to you." He smiles too, showing those pearly whites that you were so used to.

"Grayson?" The mention of his name on your tongue gave him shuttering goosebumps, something he didn't think he'd ever hear again.

"Yes, Y/N." The two of you completely stopped to face each other, his brows crossed and your eyes full of question.

"Tell me what happened.. that night, when you left me.."

-

Grayson slammed his fists against the steering wheel, on the brink of screaming and cursing the world for its cruelness as tears fell rapidly. Eternal hatred filled his lungs, and the air around him poisoned all the happiness he had ever had a grasp of.

And it was his fault.

Brutus, his father, whose heart was made of stone and his mind of brick, took away the only thing that kept him sane in such a sickening world.

Y/N.

“You have no say in this, son. You knew this day would arrive, and now it has.” Brutus’s cold stare burned into Grayson’s eyes, unaffected by his own child’s mourning.

Grayson didn’t fight back, he hardly moved from his seat that was set in front of his father’s large, stained desk. His entire body hurt; first beginning from his heart, down his legs, up his neck, and finally pooling within his eyes.

“You have one final goodbye with her. Follow my instructions, Grayson, and you’ll thank yourself later on.” Brutus stood, barely acknowledging the sorrowful man hung low in his chair.

“I’ll never forgive myself.” He hoarsely whispered to himself, straining the sobs away— lost within himself.

His heart shattered as he followed through with his father’s word; a faked death alongside his brother.

to be continued...

[haechanhues]

since it’s been like over 2 weeks here’s an updated version!

Hyunsuk - too be honest if i were to ever meet him, and if it was ever emotional i’d be kinda afraid to just in case he’d cry. his laugh is an instant boost of serotonin. i love his rapping. he honestly makes me emotional and i’m so proud of his character, his achievements and the way he’s so involved with music and the world around him.

Jihoon - sigh. has my heart and soul. i’m whipped for him. everyone knows it too. they just need to look at my posts and then they’re sorted. the amount of times a particular person has caught me being sappy and mushy over him is ridiculous. i want him to get ink on his arm. i caught myself checking out his thighs and calves today. i feel like a animal stalking its prey. he’s so mean but i love it?!

Yoshi - i find myself watching a lot of his compilations lately. i’m also trying to find a particular video where he’s getting his photo taken and (i just remember jeongwoo and junghwan being there) and they’re all like marvelling about how photogenic yoshinori is. which he is. he made me cry the other day with the letters from mum and i watched the reaction cam for ep 6.

Junkyu - juyoung, the younger brother in true beauty actually reminded me of junkyu in episode 13 (my flattie is watching the series) there’s quite a bit of words that he says that i really enjoy hearing him say? - i love the way he said cockroach in hello82 drawing game, some english words cause he actually pronounces them really well but with like a deepish accent?, love seeing and hearing him laugh.

Mashiho - again, he’s so good at everything. and he’s quiet about it as well. everytime he’s in shot he’s always just looking at someone fondly but never taking too much room or whatever. but when he gets in the zone and he just belts something out or laughs really loudly it’s always impactful in some way like whenever he does that my heart just grows for him.

Jaehyuk - he’s super affectionate and sweet. naww. like the way he acts with teumes and everything naww. like he leaves his traces for his fans to find and i think that’s so sweet. and he’s got a bit of a mean streak too i notice haha. he’s still super funny but also very supportive and tends to take care of the people who may be under the weather or not quite feeling the best which is a sort of person that everyone should appreciate.

Doyoung - the way he can just let go of himself to deliver some of his lines. him basically cry laughing at the secret santa type of video that treasure did is so cute. doyoung deserves every little cuddle and affection. he also kind of just readily accepts others and their strange quirks, and he’s got a sort of personality i’ve never really seen before and i think he’s super interesting.

Yedam - still really fucking talented. i also saw that he does tend to get emotional here and there but he’s honestly the cutest. THE SMILE AND THE LAUGH. There’s one particular video where I just can’t help but coo at him. But a truly beautiful person, I’m serious. I listened to Wayo to bed and I was in that state where I was awake but not really awake. Like I felt like I was meditating and it’s such a relaxing song. I love his voice.

Asahi - I’m so excited to talk about him you have no idea. I’m going through an Asahi spurt so~ But like he actually smiles quite a lot and he laughs a lot and it feels truly rewarding when he does. Like last time I talked about how he kind of intimidated me at the start but now he really doesn’t and I truly think he’s one of the members that instantly calms me down when I see him. Like, I want to have a proper conversation with him because idk I just get the vibe he’s definitely someone you should have a meaningful conversation with if you have the opportunity.

Jeongwoo - He’s not as loud as i thought he would be. I am in love with his voice. I watched a couple fansign videos just because and he does not know how to take compliments aye he gets like all embarrassed and all it’s so cute. I was also watching a TMI (??? I think) where it was like the boyfriend simulation and he didn’t know how to act. I find it so funny that he can be shameless at one point and another he’s all like embarrassed and bashful. It’s so cute. ‘I’m just an ugly citizen’ he says WHAT A JOKE. Him during that web drama though - he suits the character for sure.

Haruto - I find him harder to write this for, I don’t know why he was one of the easier ones to write for last time but I’m really struggling this time. But in general I love how he just exists. I know how it looks like a cop out but I promise you it’s not. His eyes and his hair first of all are so glittery and pretty and man I love his eyes so much. I also find it funny how most of the time he looks like he wants to go home but he always does things in the end and he’s not afraid to say anything. He kind of just adapts to the people around him which I find really cool. Like he’s not just a one dimensional character and it shows. (That was terrible, I’m sorry Haruto) 

Junghwan - That ‘different’ line in Boy. It’s so easy to distinguish it as Junghwan’s voice and idk it makes me really fond of him when I can hear him without seeing him. Like I’ll be on the bus or plane and hear him sing that line and like instant dopamine and serotonin. I want to say the exact same thing I said last time but he’s truly the sweetest and I want to see him smile in real life. I truly regard him as a little angel. His laugh too <3 it’s so dorky but I love him. I’m just too fond of this boy.  

Treasure - In general. I’ve been excited to write this segment all day and yet I’ve got nothing at the moment. I binge watched Treasure Map and no wonder I see a lot of people watching it. It’s so entertaining and every episode is quite different or like the same but with a little added extra. I’m so happy I stan Treasure now though, like truly happy. They’ve made me laugh and cry a lot already and it’s been a total of 2-3 weeks. But they’re all so lovely and I’m starting to really love them all. 

[thirsty-x1]

Crush On U | Han Seungwoo

Request:

crush on u is one of my favorite songs !!!! like..... it’s just so good. do you think you could write a smutty / angst sort of thing with seungwoo inspired by it??? i sorta get secret idol relationship from it but that’s just me !! it’s upto you ofc but i’d love to read that ⭐️🥺

↬ Pairing: Seungwoo x fem!reader

↬ Genre: Smut, slight Angst, Fluff, it has all of it

↬ Warnings: explicit language, oral sex, unprotected sex.

↬ Word Count: 2.7k

↬ A/N: please, I beg of you, listen to Crush On U before reading this story. This song was literally written and produced by Seungwoo in 2017 and he dedicated it to Alices. If you read the lyrics, you will notice he is a little teasing shit. I love him.

It wasn’t unusual for you to stare at the screen, smiling at the soft expressions your boyfriend made, answering now and then despite knowing that he couldn’t hear you anyway. You had grown used to it at some point: the cancelled dates, the abruptly ended phone calls, and the lack of messages. Sleeping alone wasn’t something that made you uncomfortable anymore, but there were small things that you couldn’t change. Somehow, you always ended up buying more food than necessary, or setting up the table for two, or playing a movie and turning around to make a comment to the unfilled seat beside you, or knocking on the studio door to ask something before realizing that there wasn’t going to be any reply. It saddened you, but there was nothing that Seungwoo could do to avoid it, either.

Touring, fan meetings, promoting, dance practice, vocal training, song writing, exercising… It was his dream and he was making it become a reality. You loved seeing his expression whenever they got recognized, or watching the fan cams and notice how much he really enjoyed being on the stage. Despite all that, your heart clenched whenever you realized that you weren’t by his side to celebrate his birthday, or his achievements, or any kind of holiday. All you could do was to smile whenever he got the opportunity to video call you, telling you about his whole day, and you had to hide your emotions in order to not make him feel guilty. Because you knew that he would end up blaming himself, even if both were aware of the situation.

Another of his videos started playing, this time a compilation of sweet interactions with his fans, and you melted. He was always so good, not just with you but with everyone surrounding him, and that was probably what you loved the most. Humble, kind, considerate… Those were mere words that couldn’t even start to describe how amazing Seungwoo really was. Up to this point, you had managed to control your jealousy and fear, but the insecurity kicked in every now and then, after all you still were human and couldn’t really help it.

A rush of loneliness washed over your body and you stopped the video, the still image of his gentle eyes almost bringing tears to your own. Sighing, you turned off the phone and started to walk towards the bedroom when a notification popped up, the bright screen distracting you for a bit.

Seungwoo ♥:

21:56 Open up, I have something to show you.

You quirked an eyebrow. Did he mean he had sent you a link or something? There weren’t any other messages though. After a few seconds, noticing that you didn’t reply, he sent another text.

Seungwoo ♥:

21:58 I meant the door. Open the door. I’m waiting.

The beating of your heart suddenly shoot up, an incessant ringing in your ears as you tried to process the words quickly. You read the message over and over again, as if to find something that indicated it was off. Were you asleep? The soft knocking on the door caught your attention and you ran towards it, not even thinking anymore as your hands fidgeted with the keys in hand, making it hard to open it, a tall figure completely covered coming into view. You could recognize it immediately: the scent, the bangs that covered his eyes under the black cap, the soft eyes that stared right back at you over the mask covering half of his face, his broad shoulders… Your arms were around him in a second, your face burying in his chest. He stumbled backwards, giggling as he held you closer, the air escaping your lungs in the tightest embrace ever.

“How are you here? I thought…”

“I haven’t seen you in months. You got even prettier, somehow.” You slapped his arm, knowing pretty well that you looked like a mess: hair tied up, wearing your old pajamas, bare faced. “I like you like this, I mean it.”

“Yes, well, I haven’t seen you all natural in a long time.” He laughed and took off the cap and the mask, showing his no-make up face and hair sticking out. “Not fair, even like this you look fucking gorgeous.”

As he laughed, you stepped aside to let him in, observing as he took off his jacket and left it on one of the chairs, sweat stains barely visible through his black shirt. You closed the door and stared at him incredulously, squinting your eyes and crossing your arms, his eyebrows shooting up when he finally realized your inquiring gaze.

“What?”

“Did you run here again?” He froze on the spot, giving himself away. “Last time you caught a cold because of that! Plus, you will get spotted easily, you aren’t really the kind of guy that goes unnoticed…”

While you kept nagging him, Seungwoo smiled and walked towards you, pinching your cheeks and stopping your blabbering before placing a kiss on your lips, shutting you up completely. Your whole face flushed a thousand colors, a mix of embarrassment and slight annoyance stirring up in your stomach as you controlled yourself and boop his nose lightly, although the touch denoted more.

“I couldn’t help it, the car is way too slow and I get anxious. Besides, they will always give me life lessons on the way.” You chuckled at his comment, giving up.

“You said you had something to show me, right? Your sole presence is enough but I’m still curious…” He brightened up at the mention of it and hurriedly grabbed his phone with one hand as the other took yours, pulling you to the sofa and making you sit on his lap.

“It’s a song… I-I made it. I want to show it to the agency and release it for the public.”

“Really? That’s amazing! Is it any of the ones that you showed me?” He shook his hand, biting his lip as he handed you the phone and snuggled his face on your shoulder.

“Just– Listen to it. I want you to be the first one to listen to it.”

Your chest filled with warmth as you pressed play, the beat being quite groovy. The lyrics didn’t take much time to come and they made your heart jump. Half of the song in, you could sense the knot in your throat and your sight getting blurry. The song drifted to the end, replaying and Seungwoo finally stopped hiding, wondering why you hadn’t said anything, eyes going wide when he saw the trails of tears run down your cheeks. He dried them with the sleeve of his shirt, no words coming out while he did it, not sure of what could he even say.

“I really liked it… I loved it so much.” Your voice broke while you were speaking and he took a deep breath, caressing your hair as you finally started sobbing loudly. “I’m sorry, I don’t… I can’t…”

“Shhh, I know. I know.” He cooed at you, softly swaying your body. “I love you, I really do. I know it’s not the best thing, but I swear I was completely sincere.” His words only made you cry even more.

“I love you too.” You started to recover, facing him. “I m-missed you so much…” He couldn’t help but to giggle at the small pout you were making, your swollen face looking way too adorable in his eyes.

He kept hugging you, waiting for you to stop, although he had to admit that he was also holding back his tears. When he noticed you had stopped crying and now were simply laying against his body, completely still, he realized that there was something else.

“You seem to be in deep thought.” You blinked a few times at his remark.

“Ah, yeah, well… You know… The lyrics are wonderful but the beat…” His expression turned serious, ready to take any criticism. “Isn’t it too suggestive?” Evidently, you had taken him by surprise.

“S-Suggestive?”

“Yes, like… The ‘babygirl’, the almost-moans, the feeling… It seems almost erotic.” He was pressing his lips, trying to not laugh at your furrowed brows. “I’m not sure I want everyone to hear you like this.”

Seungwoo chuckled again, running his nose on the side of your neck, sending chills down your spine as his hand started touching your thigh delicately. You could feel his hot breath against your skin, tickling your nape, his mouth close to your ear as his fingers played with your hair, letting it loose.

“Then how about I let you hear me now? In the way that only you can make me sound.”

His whisper was innocent but the connotation behind his words was the most sinful thing ever. You shifted your body to straddle him, leaving his phone aside, the song still playing as you attached his lips to yours. Melting into the kiss, you felt him massaging the inside of your thighs, and he left a soft sigh as you started to grind against him. The temperature between both of your bodies started to raise, the gentle touch turning into a needier one with each kiss, his hands slipping past the band of your pajamas and grasping your ass.

Tired of the teasing, your fingers tangled in his hair, eliciting a whine from him. That was it. Those were the sounds that only you could hear, that he never showed to anyone but you. You smiled and kissed him again, swallowing his tiny whimpers, biting his bottom lip when you felt his hardness against you. Slowing down, you got off him and kneeled, wasting no time in pulling his erect member out and sucking him off. Usually you would have teased him, but all this time abstaining from each other had been enough. You bobbed your head, making sure to lubricate him enough and his hands came to grip your hair, moving the few strands of your hair and as you ran your tongue along the underside of his shaft, you couldn’t help but to notice that small detail.

“Is this what you meant when you said you fell in love seeing my hair tied up?” He was about to explain when you suddenly engulfed his swollen tip, causing him to throw his head back.

“F-Fuck… Maybe I did.” The view before him was way too erotic, and he thanked the heavens for having you.

Maybe you were feasting yourself a little too much because Seungwoo finally tugged on your hair and pulled you up, changing your positions in a swift motion, his hands already discarding of your clothes. However, after all that and unlike you, he took his time: his fingernails grazing over your skin, stimulating you slowly. He started placing soft kisses on your skin in the lightest way possible, the contact was brief but so sweet that you didn’t dare to ask him to hurry up. You felt like groaning in frustration when he moved the fabric of your underwear aside, the pad of his fingers rubbing on your folders, starting by the outer zone and then drifting to your middle, slipping in his middle and ring fingers as he teased your clit with his thumb. It was so loving, so devoted, and so eternal. The sensation started to become too much as he fingered you, his tongue lapping at your juices.

Just like he had done before, you gripped his hair, but even if you tried to stop him, that only seemed to motivate him even more. He became more passionate, his pace picking up as his eyes fixed on your expression, seeing you in complete bliss almost made him cum on the spot. As you started to tighten around him, he pressed up, smirking when he found your spot and you came unexpectedly. He got up, leaving you empty as he indicated you to open your mouth to suck on his fingers, keeping you busy with your own taste as he aligned and thrust into you, your moan muffled. It wasn’t long until his own sounds started to fill the air, sounding like music to your ears, the song playing for the trillion time as he fucked you to the rhythm. The overstimulation traveled through your body, your nails digging into his back through his shirt, and you had to hold back in order to not paint his whole neck with purple and red. As his hips faltered, he hid his face on the crook of your neck, burying himself deep inside of you each time, your second orgasm ripping through you almost at the same time as he started spilling into you, filling you in the most delicious way.

For a few minutes, he didn’t move, enjoying the closeness and the warmth that both of your bodies exchanged. Both of you hissed when he pulled out, and you couldn’t help but to chuckle as he panicked seeing his seed drip out of you, taking off his shirt as a last resource to try and not make a mess. Maybe it wasn’t the best decision, considering that the sight of his exposed chest and abdomen had you biting your lips, making him get startled and laugh at your reaction.

“Like what you see?” A dumbfounded smile spread on his face, complete innocence and dorkiness taking over in contrast to the hot mess he was just before.

“I have always liked what I see.”

Not too long after that, both were laying down, cuddling on the bed. Suddenly, all the lonely nights evaporated into nothing as you inhaled his scent, your hands drawing nothings on his exposed skin. Your fingers traced his tattoos, the line of his muscles, his jaw… All in the most deliberate way, as if you were trying to engrave every detail into your memory for when he went away again. His eyes tried to do the same, watching every expression you made, the sound of your voice, getting goosebumps at your thoughtful touch. His chest fluttered a little.

“You know… I really meant what I said on the song.” You nodded absent-mindedly. He shook his head, grabbing your chin lightly so you would look at him and focus. “I genuinely want to fill the rest of my future with you. I don’t feel like hiding this anymore.”

No sound left your mouth. Those were the exact words you wanted to hear since so long, but right now, there was something off. Even if he said that, you knew that next morning he wasn’t going to be by your side, nor the day after that. You knew that he wouldn’t be with you on the rainy days, or to hold you when you felt lonely. You also knew that it wasn’t easy to come out to the public, and that his career could get damaged from it. Yet you wanted that, you wanted him all to yourself, and you felt selfish for it.

“Even if I feel the same way, I think it’s better like this. At least for now. I’m happy to just be with you, and to see people love you like I do. You deserve this and I don’t want it to be taken away from you, what if you end up–”

“I won’t regret it.” He cut you off abruptly, sitting down in the bed and stared into your eyes. “I have more than just a crush on you. It’s so much more. Maybe it won’t last a life time, maybe it will, I can’t know that, but I do know that I want to live with you each day from now on.”

“Me too.” There was no use in fighting against him. You believed his words, but you couldn’t do that to him anyway. “The song… The song is enough for me. Each time I listen to it, I’ll remember you and your promises. Let’s make it our own, personal secret.”

“Fine.” He chuckled, surrendering to you. “I will make my huge crush on you public through the song.”

You were thankful that he took it in a good way, your body snuggling against you to enjoy what was left of the night in his tight embrace. Both stayed asleep, not thinking about what was going to happen the next day and just seizing the short moments you shared, making them undying.

I am: soft. I love his song so much so I really hope I made it some justice with this story ㅠㅅㅠ Please, go stream it because he deserves it so fucking much.

~Nani

unedited

[gothamstreetcat]

Please share your thoughts based of the bingo cards below because I wanna know 👀

i am absolutely going to be talking about all things controversial below the cut: ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ᶦᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃ ᶠᵃⁿ ᵒᶠ ᵇᵃʳᵇᵃʳᵃ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗᵃᵇᶦᵗʰᵃ 

season one

there isn't much I think is super controversial in season one, but I will definitely be talking about selina, the batcat kiss, and the overall season itself

on selina i have to say i was a little nervous before the show aired. it’s silly but also understandable for me because i always find myself getting nervous whenever someone new takes on a character I love. but honestly, i think camren is the best selina kyle we could have asked for. there is just always something about each catwoman/selina kyle i didn’t like, but with camren i think we get the most true and genuine portrayal because gotham shows her childhood—a obviously important part to selina’s character. it’s a side of her we never get to see much of in the comics or in films, and i just find it a very important part to her character. 

sometimes I think people are too drawn into making selina something more (holy tim burton, batman! she’s got cat powers!). and I hate to throw tim  under the bus with this, but over time the whole cat powers thing really pissed me off because part of what I loved about selina was how she was a regular person. she didn’t need cat powers to be great or special. it also kinda makes me sad when people compare cam’s selina so much to pfeiffer’s because a. camren is her own selina and shouldn’t be put under that kind of pressure and b. I really can’t see someone as tough as camren’s selina becoming some old man’s assistant with “corndogs” as a (cat)chprase(?) 

i know it’s silly, but another thing about cam’s selina is how much i just love her. i just grew up wanting to be her and be like her. i wanted to be hardened by city streets and i know it’s dumb but i don’t think i have to explain why i feel such a strong way about her. we all have our favorite characters. **more of this hot mess in the tags

moving into the batcat kiss i was initially really uncomfortable and disappointed with it. david and cam were young at the time, therefore, so were bruce and selina, and i just honestly feel like it was too soon. however, i know in an interview they talked about it and were okay with it—cam saying how she was able to separate herself from the character—so I have grown to be more tolerant of it (is it dumb to say i was a little embarrassed for them because that’s how i would feel if it was me?) i am also not innocent because i did make a gifset of the kiss but it was also paired with selina asking for bruce’s consent, and i only made it because i liked the parallels (queue a young me making gifs on makeagif.com) Now, I will highly advocate for that gifset because to me it really shows how much selina went to get bruce’s ‘okay’ before she kissed him. i feel as though we are always advocating so much when it comes to a woman’s consent but never when it is a man’s and both are equally as important but we’ll get into that later in this post. 

another thing i want to add, is how i’d like to believe i have some idea as to why they did the kiss in the first place. i want to believe it had something to do with the trauma of the day, or the fact that bruce is a boy who showed selina genuine kindness when she is clearly someone who has gone without. god forbid it only to be seen as ‘cute’ but perhaps, because selina wanted to know what it felt like to be touched in that sort of way. by someone like Bruce (who was innocent and had never been kissed) maybe it was some sort of way to thank him or a parting gift, to which i’m sure people would say that’s wrong but i feel with selina’s background it makes sense. as if it was a way for bruce to remember her by. now, i personally wouldn’t know what any of that feels like so maybe that throws all my credibility out the window but these are just my ideas.

the season overall i hold onto dear, i know we all have our favorites and this isn’t controversial, but you can’t beat the first. sometimes, i do feel like shows lose their way and loose that little spark when they first got started. and to be honest, i did feel that a little with gotham. not only that (and i’ve said this before so i’m sorry if i’m a broken record) but with gotham it gaves us these characters we are so used to seeing a certain way. the show took these seeming monsters and turned them human and we as watchers related to them. edward nygma was a nerd working at the gcpd. oswald was a guy holding an umbrella, turned dishwasher who then became the king of gotham. poison ivy was just a kid. everything was so new and fresh and exciting. so yeah, i think that’s a wrap on season one

season two

the only thing i am really going to talk about from this season was ‘babitha.’ again, i am sorry for anyone who follows me, is reading this and is a fan of them but in all seriousness: their relationship was toxic as hell. first off, i really didn’t like barbara nor tabitha before hand. barbara always felt whiny and needy while tabitha was played like some ditzy woman for her brother. together they were highly annoying, and i almost hate say that because independently tabitha was a really strong character. i still didn’t like her but i see and appreciate her without her brother. 

going into that i really think there where times barbara dragged her down. times where barbara was unstable, power-hungry and it just seemed like tabitha was not enough unless she had more. barbara also didn’t seem to like the idea that butch had a special place in tabitha’s heart (and then later killed him). i mean this is a funny way, but barbara can come off like that kid who was never told ‘no’ in her life.

not to mention when tabitha died and barbara went and fucked jim for the sake it of, i guess. i know everyone grieves differently and holy batgirl, batman! but it doesn’t seem right.

i wish i had more to say on them with better examples, but i honestly have way more to say regarding the sirens so i’m gonna let you read that instead.

honorable mentions include: bridgit pike deserving better because that girl could never catch a break. and the true ending of herself and karen jennings meeting, falling in love, and leaving gotham together. it honestly makes me sad i made up this ship and it feels like i’m the only one keeping it afloat. 

season three

again, i have my issues regarding the siren’s team up, so i was unhappy when they decided to make tabitha galavan selina’s mentor. i personally would not want to pair someone as vulnerable as selina with someone who physically and mentally abused her, but okay gotham. so that is where my ted grant comment came in, i assume you’ve read the comics and know that ted was one of the few who originally trained selina before becoming catwoman. therefore, i was disappointed they didn’t use him as i find him a better canidate for a mentor but also such an important person in her story. he would have been a great addition to the show. 

of course my first honorable mention must go to the batman returns scene because you’re only hip if piggy-back off of tim burton. as i mentioned above i don’t like how much cam’s selina is compared to pfieffer’s. i don’t understand why they had to re-create something i already think is over hyped when gotham is already a great show on it’s own, it would have been redeeming if they had not done the ‘cat power’ thing in season five but thankfully they didn’t really use it.it really pisses me off how much they really tried to make that scene frame for frame. 

my second honorable mention is going to be given to selina not knowing five was bruce because of his scars & alfred and maria respectively. i could talk a lot about why i love maria and alfred--i understand why people don’t like her and they’re right to do so, however, i do think they are right for one another. they both have jaded pasts, and yeah, the show was teasing love-interests for alfred a here and there but how can you not be happy for him when he saw selina’s mom? i think people should be redeemed and i honestly think maria was at least changed by her time at wayne manor and if you want i wrote a fic about alfred and maria but it’s totally bad writing wise so don’t read it. also. i’m sorry it’s dirty and i couldn’t go through with it. it’s kinda bad

as for selina and five i think there is something imamate about selina knowing bruce’s scars (not gonna lie,i was honestly going to talk about this but i’m too tired and don’t think i have anything meaningful to have)

season four

this is probably going to be the hardest season for me to talk about. and the only two things i’m going to cover are the toxic manipulation and abuse between the sirens team-up, as well as the sexual abuse bruce endured.

on the sirens i just wanna say i hopefully plan in the future to make a master-post involving this trio. i want to be as clear as possible and include the episodes but in case i don’t i’m just going to try my best. keep in mind i made this post regarding this topic a long time ago if you want the quick version. if you do check it out it’s been a while since i read it so it is probably messy and ugly. i also want to point out i’m going to try and talk about how much of the adults in selina’s life failed her. barbara and tabitha hit this mark pretty hard since at least barbara was there in the beginning stages of her life, and the trio themselves were made to appear as some sort of strong power-house.

i get on a surface level why fans like the barabra/tabitha + selina team-up (because girl power i guess), but i honestly can’t get over the abuse selina endured to even get to the point of being in a group. much of their relationship seemed more about tabitha and barbara loving to have her rather then love her, period. there were times during their involvement that it was clear selina was not an equal, and times where being with them made selina weaker (speaking about when she called upon them for help in that one episode where she was trapped, yet you’re telling me this is the same girl who took out that guy’s eyes from season one?) several times, selina appeared to be talked down to and treated as though she couldn’t handle tasks, yet has been homeless her whole life and has broken in and out of prison. 

the interaction between barbara and selina from season one haunts me a great deal for the way barbara spoke to selina and was objectifying her. i made a long-post/ask about it here which i encourage you to look at. this is particularly hard for me to talk about for the simple fact of selina being a child of the streets and barbara speaking to her like she’s trying to pimp her out *for lack of a better way of saying it* i just don’t think this is something an adult should be saying to selina because the truth is that barabara is the adult and should do better. her and tabitha even dressed her up for that club commercial (in which selina was clearly unhappy) and had her running a club full of underage kids developing a drinking problem and one very small boy being taken advantage of. 

people hate it when alfred slapped selina but when tabitha punched selina unconscious and kidnaped her for barbara it’s no big deal

and the episode “to our deaths and beyond” hits deepest and is a clean sign of manipulation when they both tricked selina into bringing bruce so they could mutilate him for his blood. even when he was crying and panicking barbara help him down and tabitha held selina back from helping him. 

here is a gifset about the scene and *lex i’m sorry for using your set if you happen to see this (but please don’t see this because i don’t wanna make anyone feel bad and i just want to speak freely about what i believe) 

again, not treating selina with respect, and when she straight told them she would have not brought bruce BECAUSE HE IS HER FRIEND, tabitha got defense and questioned her loyalty. first off, you are an adult and should know how to act better. she knew selina wouldn’t have brought bruce otherwise because they knew what they were doing was wrong. they knew how much bruce meant to selina and for them to try to guilt her is awful in itself. tricking and manipulating bruce is awful. mutilating him is awful. and holding selina back from helping her friend after you lied to her is awful--this is honestly one of the most sickening things for me to watch *not to mention why you would not want selina to be friends with bruce when he’s clearly a great guy* (but the gifset is pretty no question. shout-out to lex for being so talented)

in addition to this, the entire selina getting shot storyline is right up there too. i understand the writer’s didn’t have enough time to flesh everything out but it wasn’t even mentioned once that barbara and tabitha went to visit her. i believe tabitha might have mentioned it but it was only to get revenge over jeremiah, but they never visited her or checked on her, and she tried to kill herself and still nothing. 

now, i’m not trying to be all biased for bruce wayne because he was there for her every singe day and never left her side. nor would i ever mention that idea of bruce physically helping selina care for her own body when she couldn’t. how he got her that medicine to heal her pain and held her while she screamed that she wanted to die. all the while doing everything he could to help her not feel that way again.

you can say a lot of things about bruce wayne. people love to talk shit about him. but at the end of the day you can never say he was a bad friend, because he was the best. and you can’t say that for barbara and tabitha (not only to add how all the abuse was never brought up nor apologized for)

now, onto something that i am a big advocate for and particularly boils my blood. bruce’s alcohol problem and constant physical abuse by the adults in the show. 

i am mainly speaking about ivy (peyton list) however, while reading a reddit thread someone said that grace’s actress as twenty-one years of age, also kissing david (who i believe was sixteen at the time). someone else, also said that it wasn’t really illegal but i honestly do not care. if the roles were reversed and it was a young girl vs an older man, people would be in outrage and i don’t think that should change be it david.

the scene with peyton particularly bothers me because she is substantially older, and while you could argue it might not be david based off how the scene was shot, i highly doubt it. it’s wrong no matter how you slice it and it particularly bothers me because the abuse surrounding men/boys is taken so lightly. i’m not trying to put presidency over female abuse, as i believe both are equal in how awful they are, but there is evidence behind males being mocked. something that is at a higher volume, and it makes me wonder the number of rapes that go unreported or those who can’t talk about it because they won’t be believed. i’ve already seen it but i would be lying if i said i wasn’t worried for david to be conditioned to think what happened to him was fun or cool.

on top of all the kissing in the club scene followed by waking up in bed with the two girls--i would not hesitate to think he was taken advantage of in some way. i also can’t even think of his drinking days and not think of all the people who potentially abused him.

i obviously can’t speak for david and perhaps i’m grasping at straws but this is something that bother me and no one talks about enough.

season five

nothing to add here except while i did miss cam in the final and it wasn’t complete without here, i very much respect her for her choice to walk away. i think it shows a high level of intelligence and integrity (something i wish i had). and i most admire her for passing on the torch when she felt she wasn’t ready, which i think speaks volumes of her and her character. again, selina one selina will always be my favorite so i love the idea of my favorite staying a young girl before she was ready. i don’t think the show was ready. and as much as i would have loved for her to have a cameo like david did, it isn’t here or there and she said she favorite scene was on the staircase. so as far as i’m concerned, that’s the best place to leave on (even though that wasn’t the last scene but we’re ignoring that)

i hope this wasn’t too wordy or long!

[spaceskam]

how do i breathe

i’m avoiding my responsibilities and my longer fics because they’re intimidating me, so i decided i’m just going to gradually write every single one of @acomebackstory‘s wlw headcanons because she had multiple aspec related things and i’m a sucker for that. anyway lesbian cam being fwb with bisexual kyle

“You wanna try something a little unconventional?”

“We literally just had sex in Alex’s bed instead of simply taking his dog for a walk and leaving, what could possibly be more unconventional?”

Jenna rolled her eyes as she shifted to face Kyle better. He was handsome. Like, cover of a magazine handsome. She knew that. She had sex with that. And it was good. And, still, it wasn’t hitting the right marks. She was running out of things to try to see what filled those gaps.

“Do you want to go to a gay bar with me this weekend?” she asked. Kyle furrowed his eyebrows and then turned to face her. He was silent and she didn’t prod. Hell, she was just as lost, but he was the only one aside from Alex she trusted not to make a big deal out of her request. And Alex was traveling the world to dismantle a giant fucking conspiracy that had hubs in Guam, San Juan, Fortaleza, and a million other places.

“Sure, we can go,” Kyle said instead of asking questions. She was thankful. Primarily because she didn’t have answers.

“Cool.”

-

Jenna was a very well-to-do, established, put-together woman.

And by the time she’d been sent the fourth drink by random women, she realized she was in way over her head.

“This was a bad idea,” she said, turning to Kyle. He was staring into his drink with a face that looked like he’d just been told he was pregnant and was trying to work out how that happened.

“Yeah, maybe,” he agreed.

“This is just too much at once,” she continued and didn’t try to figure out what exactly that meant. She was just overwhelmed and couldn’t think.

“Yeah,” he said.

The left the bar faster than they’d entered.

“Are you okay?” she asked him. He licked his lips and looked at her, opening and closing his mouth a few times as if he had something to say because didn’t have the words. She waited for him to call her out. She waited for him to say words that had been floating in her mind since she was a teenager, but she’d always pushed away and decided she’d deal with it later.

But now it was later and she needed help.

“I’m fine,” Kyle decided and then held out his hand. She took it thankfully and smiled when he gave it a comforting squeeze. “Let’s go to a bar that we actually are prepared to enter.”

“Lead the way.”

They both climbed into the front seat of the car, but the car never started. They simply sat there and stared out the front glass in silence. The longer she stared, the more Jenna’s throat tightened and she felt like she was going to cry. Which was bullshit. There was nothing cry-worthy about this. Nothing happened.

But, then again, that was the point. Nothing happened.

“Are you okay?” Kyle asked softly.

Jenna took a deep breath and let out a shaky laugh. “No.”

“Wanna talk about it?” he wondered. Jenna sniffled and turned to him. He was her best friend. She trusted him more than anyone. She loved him. And yet she didn’t love him. 

“Can I ask you a question?” she said. He nodded without hesitation. “Can you tell me why I was able to sleep with you, the most conventionally attractive man in the world, acknowledge that it was super good, and still not really be into it? What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you,” Kyle said, thankfully not offended, “Maybe I’m just not what you really want.”

“What do I want?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Well, I wish someone would because this is fucking ridiculous,” Jenna laughed. Tears slipped past her eyes and she instantly started feeling like a baby, but she needed to get it out. She needed to speak. “Sorry, I just... I don’t get it. Nothing works. I feel... I feel disconnected, like something’s wrong with me. Like every man I’m with is just... fine. I’m going through the motions. I look at these couples and I see what they have and I want it and I can’t fucking find it. I feel like I’m holding my breath and waiting for someone to come along and remind me how to breathe, but it’s never there. Nothing is ever there. I’m-I’m suffocating.”

“Hey,” Kyle said softly, reaching across the center console and grabbing her hand again. He made her look at him, “Yesterday, I went to the gym like I often do. There was this guy there that’s there all the time, he’s spotted me a couple times. Big, buff guy, probably in his late 30s. Super good looking, like, makes me look like a thumb in comparison.”

Jenna laughed softly, “Is there a reason for this story or did you just feel the need to tell me about this guy?”

“There’s a reason,” he promised, chuckling softly, “Anyway, yesterday, he asked me to coffee. Like, a date.” 

Her eyes widened. “Oh?” 

“Mhm,” Kyle said, shaking his eye and closing his eyes in embarrassment, “And I cried in the bathroom.” She squeezed his hand like he’d done for her and waited. “I basically avoided him and ran out and tried to go bury myself in Project Shepard work so I could focus on literally anything else other than the fucking swarm of feelings I had from that two-second encounter. And then fucking Guerin of all people came down and forced me to talk. And you know what he said?”

“What?” Jenna asked, genuinely curious.

“He said that being queer isn’t that big of a concept and that I should accept because I had bigger issues to deal with and that I had people around me who didn’t care and would love me regardless. He told me if I thought that guy was hot, then I should go to coffee with him, even if I was still unsure because the best way to figure it out is to try. He said as long as you’re upfront with the fact that you’re trying to figure shit out, then no one gets hurt,” Kyle said, taking a deep breath and smiling, “So I’m passing his advice onto you.”

Jenna closed her eyes and folded her lips in. And then she smiled.

“Okay. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now let’s go dismantle a government conspiracy.”

-

“You look like shit.”

Jenna snorted as she looked up to Maria. She was gorgeous and had eyes that felt like a challenge. Jenna liked that about her. She liked the way she was blunt and open, but not necessarily mean about it. Which is precisely why they hung out multiple nights in a row. She felt safe. Like Kyle felt safe except, while she knew Kyle like a children’s book she’d memorized, Maria was a new novel with a summary that was just her cup of tea.

“Thanks,” she said, taking a sip of her whiskey. It stung the back of her throat and Maria simply smiled when she didn’t make a face.

“What’s wrong?” Maria prodded, “And don’t lie. I’m psychic.”

Jenna scoffed, looking at the bartender and hoping maybe she could solve all her problems. But perhaps that was the whiskey talking. Maria simply leaned forward and pushed her to speak with a raised eyebrow.

“If you’re so psychic,” Jenna started, “Then what am I thinking right now?”

She swallowed and took ahold of her confidence and looked up to Maria with a smile. Maria licked her lips and let out a soft laugh.

“You’re thinking that we close in twenty minutes and that you really don’t want to go so soon,” Maria decided. Jenna shrugged and brought her glass to her lips.

“Sounds right to me.”

The twenty minutes went by both too fast and not fast enough. Then she waited the extra thirty minutes that it took for them to close up and then the other bartenders left and it was just them. Excitement prodded at her, eager for whatever this meant. She was so curious to figure out if she’d finally solved the puzzle. She was sure she had, but... confirmation was important.

“You look good out of uniform, by the way,” Maria said, now sitting on the barstool beside her. Jenna was very, very aware of each time their legs brushed and their elbows bumped. So, so, aware. “Not that you don’t look fantastic in uniform. Because... you really do.”

Kyle’s words rang in her mind. As long as you’re upfront then no one gets hurt. Jenna turned to face her completely and took a deep breath. She had enough whiskey in her system to make a move, might as well be now.

“I think I’m gay and I have no idea because I’m 28 years old and managed to bypass all experimenting ages and all I know is I think you’re really fucking gorgeous,” Jenna said in the same blunt tone that Maria used all the time. Maria’s eyebrows raised and she smiled pleasantly. “Your turn.”

Maria turned to face her entirely too and then hopped off the stool. Jenna could hear her heart in her ears as Maria stepped close. She held her breath.

“I was 22 when I realized whatever I felt for my dead best friend wasn’t platonic,” Maria admitted, “I know all about being confused and feeling too old to have first experiences.”

“Okay,” Jenna said, nodding as a small hand rested on her thigh and long nails gently tracing the seam of her jeans. Her whole body went tense and heat pooled in her stomach in a way that had never occurred with any man. Not even one has hot as Kyle.

“If you need someone to experiment with, I’m here. No judgment,” Maria said, sweet smile in place. Jenna swallowed and tried not to focus too hard on that smile.

“Yeah. I would appreciate that.”

“Now?” Maria asked, tilting her head curiously. Jenna nodded and almost cursed at herself for how embarrassing that must’ve looked. No judgment came from it.

Instead, a gentle hand pressed on her chin and a soft kiss was pressed to her lips. Jenna gasped involuntarily which earned a smile and then another kiss. She got kissed over and over, in all sorts of way and covered in all sorts of touches. There was something exhilarating about manicured nails scratching into her hair, soft skin and feminine curves under her palms, and the promise of lipstick stains whenever she was done. It made sense. For once, it made sense.

“How do you feel?” Maria asked.

Jenna sucked in a heavy breath.

“Like I can breathe.”

[ofmiscreants]

♡ ◟ ° ›   jung jaewon, cismale, he/him, twenty three   ⋯   ❛   thank you for applying to STONED RECORDS, MILO YUN ! before we start this job interview, i would just like to go over a few questions. you said your best attribute was ASSERTIVE, right ? well, word around town is that some people find you to be a bit more EGOCENTRIC … but, nevermind that. i’m actually more curious about whether you were actually THE ONE WHO LEAKED THEIR EX’S NUDES last year ? oh, you were ? that’s unfortunate. on the bright side, i heard that you excel at VIDEOGRAPHY …. so that’s cool ! now, one more question … your last manager said that you’re hiding that you’ve been CAMMING FOR TWO YEARS FOR SOME SIDE CASH AND YOUR BEST FRIEND’S FATHER IS YOUR NUMBER ONE TIPPER, is that true ? — haha , just kidding ! they didn’t say that, i just read that about you online . anyway , you got the job ! ❜ 】 eri, pst, she/her. 

hello i’m eri ! a cat obsessed, possibly nocturnal and very awkward individual. this is my first time joining an rp in .. years, and honestly i am very excited. i do work full time so i will likely be more active on line, but i look forward to writing threads on the dash as well ! i want to preface this with the fact that i am NOT my muse. the things that milo does / say are not me, i do not agree with his moral ( or lack there of ) and trust me when i say i probably hate him more than you. with that said, prepare yourself for the mess that is milo yun. 

so to start off, a brief history of milo's childhood: boy was a spoiled BRAT. his mother gave him everything, he basically never heard the word no, and although he ended up with a little sister by five years he still radiated and owned his only child energy. his mother married a very wealthy man when he was about 8, and milo always hated him for taking even more attention away from him. the only good thing that came from his step-dad was all the money he knew came directly from that man's bank account.

growing up, he was a generally decent person other than his hatred of the word no and not getting his way. personality-wise, he was tolerable. he teased people in joking ways, was a bit outspoken, but nothing too bad. that was until he got in his first relationship. he'd lost his virginity at 13 but didn't get with anyone for real until 15/16 ( i am hoping to get this connection so we can discuss that further if you're interested ). it was a year or so together before milo found out they'd cheated on him and that changed him for the worst. never having been the most romantic guy, he vowed to be the exact opposite from that day on. never again would someone make him cry, never would someone come close enough to his heart to break it, and he would never allow himself to be vulnerable with someone on a level like that again.

it wasn't just a fear of love he gained but an entirely fucked up and cynical attitude as well. he started acting out more, picking fights with people until someone else swung first and he couldn't be pinned for starting it (even though he 100% instigated it ). he wasn't miserable, but he had miserable moments. and soon it became harder for him to care about other's feelings or happiness, and started worrying only about his own happiness and his own needs.

by the time he finished high school he had a well-known reputation of being quite the casanova, and had left all too many hearts broken in his wake. he might not have the urge to love again, but he had a craving for every other part of it ... and deep down he missed it, feeling loved, even if he had no intention of reciprocating it.

BASICALLY, HE FUCKS AROUND AND PLAYS WITH PEOPLE'S HEARTS BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE WANTED BUT ALSO NEVER WANTS TO NEED ANYONE EVER AGAIN OK.

ok so at 18 he graduated from high school as you do, naturally his parents assumed he'd be going to college but when he informed them that nah he was not, they waite a few months which were spent partying and acting like a crazed teenager in heat before finally warning him that if he didn't get a job he'd be cut off until he did. naturally, he went a week giving them both the silent treatment.. and in that time landed his first job at a coffee shop. it did not last long, and he worked at various other places around town and most of which he didn't last more than a few months at. authority? yeah .. he simply is not a fan. his luck was running out, that was until he decided to try out camming.

it started off slow, but by 21 he was killing it. getting paid to sit in his room and undress for men who are showering him in compliments and tips?? it was a dream come true. after realizing how much money he could make .. it changed a lot. he decided to only work part-time jobs in order to keep the illusion that he was making regular money a thing, and kept all his camming and sugar daddies behind closed doors.

this plan worked out great, two years in and he's working at stoned records and chilling, while nightly leading his double life as a very successful male cammer with a wide variety of fans from male to female of all ages. his favorites, however .. tend to be the older gentleman, the ones he can sucker into paying for skype dates and private videos, the ones who he has to resist rolling his eyes when he calls them daddy but that instant gratification of gifts of money being sent to him makes it all worth it. simple enough, until one of his top tippers turns out to be his best friend's dad. yikes .. and at first he questioned whether or not this was a good idea, but knowing how much money they had, it was hard to resist. he figured .. if it weren't him, it would be some other cammer so why not enjoy the wealth? well because of this he's been holding in a dark secret, having to avoid eye contact during those awkward run-ins, and pretending not to now intimate details about his own friends' family. this is a plot i would VERY much like to fill, and i am willing to change details or information around to make it fit better with your muse.

ok now that i have rambled forever i'm going to attempt to give a few more points that are much shorter

his rumor is about how he leaked his exes nudes after their break up ... this a heavily desired plot and i would love to have it. milo is a fucked up guy and honestly, they probably found out he cheated so in order to "win" this battle he leaked the nudes he had of them and then proceeded to dump them .. i'm sorry he's horrible

sexually he chooses not to label himself, he is attracted to attractive people and goes for what he wants. pansexual would be the closest description, but he himself will never put his sexuality into a box. with that said, he leans toward the dominant-top position, but he is also very open-minded and very filthy so opportunities are endless with him. sex to him is the biggest ego boost .. he loves being wanted, love the validation he gets from someone wanting him and feeling good because of him. he also very much gets off on others being vulnerable with him ( yes we get it he was traumatized bc he's a big brat ) and enjoys the power play dynamic that can come from sexual situations. anything beyond sex and .. he just stops caring. he knows ahead of time that he'll never be the one from them and doesn't plan on making that realization a very easy or pain-free one.

romantically he has only ever felt that attachment once. after he got his heart broken he vowed no more. he technically considers himself aromantic, but if you ask me he's just stubborn and refuses to relinquish power because he was embarrassed and his ego got very bruised. in reality, he's terrified of being vulnerable and giving someone else the chance to decide he isn't good enough. mind games are fun simply because he knows how to gain and keep the upper hand.

a few last things i feel like mentioning, he gets into fights often, drinks very often, does any sort of substance offered to him ( no injecting himself with anything though ), and basically is just ... a fucked up dude with an extremely distorted view of reality. his ego drives him 90% of the time, and he seriously lacks empathy. he's not the best dude in the world .... very far from it.

oh and his dream was to become a famous youtuber / influencer so he got really good at photography and videography but when he didn't become really famous within six months he gave up and instead started camming, just felt like throwing that in so i didn't forget oK now he's milo with the big dick and great lighting.

OK NOW THAT IM DONE RAMBLING .. hopefully some of you actually made it through this, i apologize again for the length of this. anyway i have stats for him and wanted connections so please feel free to check them out and hit me up if you want to do any of them OR if you have other ideas OR just to brainstorm together because i want all of the plots. ok thank you for reading and ily you !

p.s. all plots are open to any gender unless a specific one is stated where it says open. some may have certain pronouns already written but i am by no means closed off to other gender considering it is not something he has a preference for. i also did not have time to write out as many connections as i wanted so please don’t be discouraged with the lack of them .. i work full time and have been very busy lately i swear. i will try to fill them in / edit them as i get more.

[saviormysticmeme]

Hello! Can you write about MC who is a popular you tuber and is live streaming a horror game. They then get jumped scared, shrieks, and Jumin/Jaehee/Yoosung run in to see what's wrong and MC's like "oh hey babe" and the comment section goes WILD when they discover that they have a lover. How would they each respond to the shriek and the comments is basically what I'm asking. Sorry that this is long af I'm just excited to see what you'll write! :D Thank you a million times

I love this ask so much tbh. I tried writing for it before and just didn’t love it so it never got posted.

Yoosung/Jaehee/Jumin with a Lets Player MC

Yoosung:

“KYAAAAAAAAAA”

He heard it from downstairs and nearly fell out of his gaming chair. The second he heard it, pure adrenaline pumped through him and as he tumbled to the floor in attempts to get up so fast, he pushed off and used it all as momentum, sprinting for the stairs.

“MC!?” He shouted as he bear ran up the stairs and thrust himself into your occasionally shared bedroom. 

Hearing the door open behind you, in addition to the monster on your screen, only succeeded in scaring you more, and thus you let another “AHHHHHHHHH” rip from your mouth. This violent reaction from you in turn scared Yoosung and he “WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”.

There was a few seconds of the both of you screaming before, suddenly, almost in unison. You both stopped.

“…MC?”

“Is everything alright Yoosung?”“Me?! I should be asking you! I heard you scream.”“Oh…yeah I’m playing.” To which you rolled your chair a little sideways to point at the many zombies swarming your computer screen. “Wait are you…streaming!?!? You never told me!!!” Yoosung looked surprised, which quickly turned to a bit of deflation at the thought you were hiding this from him.“Well I usually just do horror games…and like weird dating sims. But I never wanted to make you feel obligated to wat-” and with that you noticed the streeeeaaaam of comments popping up in the video feed

Who is that

Omg is that MCPlays boyfriend??

He’s so cute!!

Wait a second that looks like a guy I play LOLOL with….

They’re so cute

YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND

Stream together? Please? You guys seem cute.

Oooooo Lovers quarrel 

Omg he’s so cute.

KISS, KISS, KISS

You saw all the comments and started twiddling your hair between your thumbs. “Aha, Yoosung, I think we have fans.”

“Wha…” As Yoosung began reading over your shoulders, he began turning very, very, red.

Jaehee

“HELP!” Jaehee’s eyes went wide as she heard the shout. She put her coffee and book down and began hastily walking towards your door. Last she heard you were playing video games, so shouting wasn’t out of the ordinary, but this one made her a little anxious and she felt she had to check.“MC?” She cautiously stuck her head in. You turned to look at her from your computer.“Babe! Sorry! I tried to keep it down but this one hoard took me by surprise…” You shot her an apologetic look. 

Jaehee gave you a soft smile, assuring you that she wasn’t upset. In case you weren’t positive, she followed up with “Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee?”

“Ooooooh! Coffee please?” You got excited at the prospect of her home brewed coffee. 

Jaehee nodded and slipped back out the door.Once she had the coffee ready she brought it back upstairs, but this time you were mid round, she could tell by the look on your face so she walked over to you to set the coffee down, and that’s when she noticed the endless stream of comments. “MC? Are all these people on your team?”“Huh? Haha, no! They’re just watching me play.”“People…just watch?”“Yeah. Viewers, this is my girlfriend Jaehee, Jaehee, these are the Viewers. Say hi!”The brunette leaned over your shoulder, a bit of a deer in the headlights look as she saw her face pop up on screen. She hadn’t even realized you had the face cam on. Then she really started noticing what the comments were saying.

DID MC JUST SAY ‘GIRLFRIEND’

Whoa wait youre….?

That’s so cute! You two are so cute! And she brings you coffee? Ugh. Goals.

Does she know anything about video games? You guys should play together.

UGH THEYRE BOTH SO HOT IT ISNT FAIR

Hi Jaehee! Nice to meet you!

She has a really soothing voice…is that weird to say?

Both of you look so good together ahhhhh

“O-Oh.” Jaehee raised a light hand. “Hi Viewers.”Only to chuckle as the chat exploded even more and blush when she heard your charming laugh.

Jumin

“OH GOD” followed by what sounded like a muffled string of cusses assaulted Jumin’s ears from within his home office. His eyes shot up, but he was frozen for half a second as so many scenarios ran through his head. He shoved his chair back and briskly walked to your room, asking “MC? Are you alright?”The cusses sounded more angry than scared, so he wondered if you hurt yourself. However, you didn’t seem to hear him and thus didn’t respond, putting a little more pace in his step.

 He swung the door to your computer room open, and you didn’t even seem to notice thanks to those damn noise cancelling headphones you got. Hell you didn’t even seem to notice how dark it had gotten. The room was almost entirely dark aside from the computer glow illuminating your sides from the front. He sighed, at least you were ok. Though you still were muttering swears like a sailor under your breath.Unbeknownst to you, your boyfriend stood behind you, about to stride up and tap you on the shoulder.Unbeknownst to your viewers, the man behind you in a black suit was not about to kill you.

MC THERES SOMEONE IN YOUR ROOM

MC TURN AROUND

Who is that guy??

Is this a joke or something…MC this is scary

MC turn around

Should someone call the police

You caught a few of the comments out of the corner of your eye, and at first you thought they were yelling about something in the game, but when your eyes trailed to your camera feed…

“AH HOLY SHIT “ You jumped up and whirled around on the man behind you, doing it so fast the headphones were pulled off your head, your chair was nearly knocked over, the whole desk rattled, and-

Click.

Jumin flicked the light on, his face also showing he was mildly jarred by the last couple seconds.

You just held your hand to your heart for a moment and leaned against the desk. “Oh my…oh my god Jumin. Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“Sneak up on you?” He approached you slowly, any irritation he had before about you not hearing him melted as he saw your scared face. He just wanted to comfort you now, and he tried by sliding his hands onto the sides of your face and steadying you. “I was just coming to check on you and you were here in the dark. And yelling.”Looking into his eyes, you felt the previous tension in your body start to relax, and you let yourself lean into your boyfriend’s hands as a smile crawled onto your face. “I’m sorry. I must have gotten carried away playing the game.”

“The game?” Jumin looked at your computer to see it had a game on screen….but it also had video feed of you two right now! “Are you recording your reaction?”

Him saying that snapped you back into the reality that there were a few tens of thousands of people watching you two right now, and you pulled away from Jumin, a little embarrassed by the accidental PDA. 

“Oh, yeah sort of. I’m live streaming. So people are watching me play right now and commenting…. They also probably saw everything that just happened haha.” You turned from Jumin and leaned closer to your camera “Sorry about that everyone! Didn’t mean to scare!”And your eyes trailed to the commentsIS THAT JUMIN FUCKING HAN

MC ARE YOU DATING HAN JUMIN

no fucking way

iz thiz a collab??/?/

Is…Is C&R promoting themselves on a Lets Play channel?

WHO IS THAT HES HOT AS FUCK

this is the hottest couple alive and im glad im bi

so this wasnt a prank?????

Omg this whole scare was so funny

He seems so serious…please make him play with you.You couldn’t help but laugh at the mixed reactions. 

[buffy-cyrus]

Friendom Gift Exchange!

For @cam-cat-writer, from your secret santa! It’s a Hogwarts AU about how Cyrus met the ghc and TJ! This is the first time I’ve written in years so I’m sorry if its a little rough, but I had so much fun writing it!

“Uhh, Earth to Cyrus? Hellooo?”

“Huh?” Cyrus started, jolting out of his daydream.

“I said are you excited about this year?” Andi grinned, not even attempting to mask her glee. Then again, why should she? They were on the train headed to the one and only Hogwarts for the third time, and Andi was already loving the new sense of responsibility.

“Can you believe it’s been two years since we started here?” asked Buffy “It’s gone by so quickly!” She paused. “But it also feels like I’ve known you two for a lifetime.”

Cyrus smiled. “I know exactly what you mean. I can’t even remember not being friends with you guys.” It was true. These two girls had changed his life in every way, and he couldn’t even bare to think about how he would’ve handled Hogwarts without them...

*two years earlier*

I can’t do this! Cyrus thought to himself, as he watched yet another young wizard step up to the sorting hat. He felt his palms begin to sweat as he glanced over at all the people in the room - people who would all be staring at him once his name was called. What if he tripped? What if everyone laughed at him? What if his house didn’t like him? What if-

“Psst, what’s up with you?” An unfamiliar voice interrupted his thoughts as he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. He turned his head to see a curly-haired girl looking at him in confusion, although once their eyes met it quickly became concern. “Are you okay?” She whispered.

“I’m fine. More than fine! Well, unless you count being terrified as being not fine, in which case I am definitely not fine.” He felt the words tumble out of his mouth before he could stop them, and he soon became very aware of his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

The girl, however, didn’t seem annoyed by his word vomit. In fact, he saw a smile spread across her face. “So you’re scared, huh? So is every other first year in this room. And every other first year in the history of first years. It’s no big deal-” she was cut off by a nudge and a glare from the boy next to her, warning her to lower her voice. The girl just rolled her eyes and smiled at Cyrus. “See. I bet he’s pooping his pants right now.”

Now it was Cyrus’ turn to smile. “Thanks… that actually helped” he whispered. “I’m Cyrus, by the way.” He offered her his hand to shake.

“Nice to meet you, Cyrus, I’m-”

“Buffy Driscoll!” a voice from the front called out.

“That’s my cue! Wish me luck!” the girl grinned before striding up to the front.

“Slytherin!” the hat called out, quickly followed by loud cheering from her new house as she confidently approached their table. She glanced up at Cyrus and gave him a reassuring nod, just as another name was called.

Nice to meet you too, Buffy.

*present day*

“You know, as much as I am loyal to my house, I wish we all could’ve been put together.” Buffy sighed, twisting the green bracelet Andi had made for her as a symbol of their friendship. Cyrus glanced down at the yellow one wrapped around his wrist and smiled. “It would be nice to have you guys cheer me on in quidditch, you know?”

“As if we don’t already deafen everyone by shouting your name.” Cyrus noted, earning a smirk from both girls.

“I know, I know. But you also cheer when your houses win.”

“Uh, Buffy? Cyrus cheers when anyone wins. I don’t think he understands the game very well.” Andi giggled.

“Hey! I’m just trying to be encouraging!” Cyrus snapped playfully, “but you know I’ll always cheer the loudest for you, Buffy.”

“I know who you’d cheer for the second loudest.” Andi teased, smirking at Buffy as they shared a knowing glance. “And, funnily enough, he’s also in Slytherin.”

Cyrus felt his heart skip. Andi and Buffy had known about his crush on TJ Kippen since last year, and they had been wonderfully supportive - even throughout all of TJs antics. To them it was a simple unrequited crush. He had yet to tell them the whole truth...

*one year earlier*

“GO BUFFY! GO BUFFY!” Cyrus and Andi screamed as they watched their friend zoom past them. It was her first game and she was already amazing. At least, Cyrus thought so, although his quidditch knowledge was rather limited. Nevertheless he was incredibly proud of his best friend for making the team.

He watched in awe as Buffy effortlessly weaved past two Gryffindors and a bludger, keeping the quaffle safely in her grip. She was going to make it! She was going to-

The crowd gasped as another Slytherin knocked into Buffy. “What’s he doing? They’re on the same team, aren’t they?” Cyrus cried as he watched Buffy struggle with the other boy. Buffy had seemed to regain her balance by this point, and the other boy had backed off following the crowds displeasure. She scored and the crowd erupted into cheers, seemingly forgetting what they’d just witnessed.

“That was ridiculous,” Andi muttered, “That idiot nearly lost his own team 10 points!”

“Ridiculous…” Cyrus agreed half-heartedly, as his attention had been diverted to the culprit, who was now sulking while the rest of his team continued the game. Cyrus felt a pang in his stomach as he recognized the boys face. It was none other than his potions classmate, TJ Kippen…

***

“TJ!” Cyrus called upon seeing the chaser. The game had just finished after the Gryffindor seeker - Marty - had caught the snitch, and Cyrus had left his friends after quickly congratulating Buffy on a great game despite their loss.

It wasn’t like he was looking for TJ - more like aimlessly wandering with the hope of casually bumping into the boy who’d sabotaged his best friend. There was nothing wrong with that, right?

“TJ wait!” he tried again, this time earning a pause from the taller boy, allowing him to catch up.

“What do you want, Cyrus? Shouldn’t you be with Buffy?” TJ murmured. His distant attitude unfortunately didn’t surprise Cyrus, as he’d observed that TJ was one to push away those who were kindest to him. He made a mental note to ask the boy about it later.

“What happened out there? You looked like you were trying to intercept your own teammate.” He paused, wary of sounding too standoffish. “Is everything okay?”

“Why do you care?” TJ retorted, clearly not sharing the same concern as the Hufflepuff.

Cyrus paused. The truth was, he didn’t know why he cared. While TJ and him got on during potions, it wasn’t as though they were friends. Although, that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world…

His reverie was cut short by a short ‘ahem’ from the Slytherin, who was apparently interested in Cyrus’s answer. “Well?”

“Because you’re a good player, and I doubt you’d sabotage your own team without good reason.”

“What good reason is there to sabotage my own team?”

“That’s what I’m asking you.”

TJ rolled his eyes, and for a moment Cyrus thought he was going to push him away. Then, much to the shorter boy’s surprise, he let out a defeated sigh. “It’s her first game and she’s already better than me. How is that fair?”

Cyrus watched as TJ’s eyes fell to the floor. He was ashamed, he could tell, and Cyrus felt for him. “So that’s why you tried to stop her? Because you were jealous?”

“I’m not proud of it Cyrus. I just heard everyone cheering for her - even the other houses! - and in the heat of the moment I snapped. I wish I could take it back but I can’t, so there’s really no need to dwell on it.”

“You’re right,” Cyrus smiled, “you can’t take it back. But you know what you can do?”

TJ glanced up at him, finally taking his eyes off the floor.

“You can apologize, TJ. To Buffy and to your team.”

Cyrus prepared himself for an argument, but there wasn’t one. TJ simply sighed, and under his breath muttered “I know.”

“Come on, TJ, rip the band aid. I’ll come with you to see Buffy right now if you want.”

TJ shook his head. “I should do it alone. She’ll probably think you orchestrated the whole thing if you come with me… which I suppose you kinda did, but she doesn’t need to know that.” He grinned, to which Cyrus couldn’t help but giggle at. There was something about the taller boys smile that made his heart flutter, but he couldn’t quite place why.

“Well, no time like the present,” TJ nodded, turning to walk away from him. He paused, and before Cyrus could process what was happening, he felt TJ quickly hug him. “Thanks Cyrus. I owe you” he muttered, before jogging out of the Hufflepuff’s sight.

TJ Kippen had hugged him. Did this mean they were friends? Relax Cyrus, it’s no big deal. You’re friends with TJ Kippen. It’s cool. It’s chill. But Cyrus was far from chill, as his heart seemed desperate to escape as it pounded in his chest. Baboom, baboom, baboom.

Oh. Oh.

*present day*

“So are you going to ask him out this year?” asked wildly, a smirk spreading across her face.

“Uh, Buffy, I don’t think TJ is gay” Andi cut in. “Doesn’t he have a girlfriend?”

Now it was Cyrus’s turn to smirk, although he remained silent.

“What? No he doesn’t.”

“But he’s always with that girl. You know, the pretty blonde one in Slytherin?”

“You mean Amber…? Amber Kippen? She’s his sister, Andi!” Buffy chortled.

“Oh! So she’s single then?” Andi joked, as the three of them erupted into laughter. Andi had had her fair share of relationship drama last year when she dated Gryffindor’s Jonah Beck for a while. Cyrus also kinda maybe had a little thing for Jonah in his first year, but his crush had since faded as he now viewed him as a friend.

Besides, now TJ was in the picture…

*one year ago*

Detention. Cyrus winced as he repeated the word once again in his mind, recalling the sinking feeling he felt when he realized just how much trouble he was in.

Cyrus didn’t get detentions - he’d always given his work 100 percent and never misbehaved - so why now was he sat next to TJ Kippen in complete silence, trying desperately to ignore Snape’s glare?

It wasn’t his fault - not really. He’d so been listening to TJ gush about quidditch that he stopped paying attention to the potion they were supposed to be brewing. Perhaps somewhere along the line he’d added too much moondew or not enough dragon’s blood. How was he supposed to know the potion he’d made would explode?

Yes. This was TJ’s fault. Stupid, adorable, distractive TJ.

“Mr Goodman.Would you take a look around my classroom? What do you see?”

Cyrus gulped.

“It’s a complete mess, professor.” TJ chimed in, seemingly sensing the smaller boys nerves.

“That is correct, Mr Kippen, though it would do to remain silent when you aren’t being spoken to.” He paused. “You are to clean this up, and aren’t to leave until this room is spotless. Understood?”

“Yes professor,” the boys said in unison.

“Good. Now, I have pressing matters to attend to.” Snape made his way towards the door. “Do not attempt to leave before you’ve completed your job, or there will be serious consequences…”

The boys remained silent until they were sure the footsteps had faded, then breathed a sigh of relief.

“You can relax, Cyrus. Snape’s all bark and no bite,” TJ smirked, sitting up on the desk.

“I’m not so sure about that…” Cyrus uttered. “I’ve never been in trouble before, TJ! What if this is the gateway to a life of crime and darkness and-”

“Woah, easy there! There’s a big jump between accidentally making the wrong potion and being a criminal.” TJ was laughing, but Cyrus didn’t feel mocked. In fact, the taller boy’s chuckle calmed his nerves.

“Wait, so you don’t think I could be a criminal?” Cyrus joked, hopping up onto the desk next to TJ. “Because I could be a master criminal if I wanted to. You’re lucky I chose the path of goodness in life.”

“Of course you could,” TJ giggled, “Why do you think we’re friends? It’s because I want to keep you on my good side.”

“Geez, I thought you were my friend because of my amazing brewing skills” he teased, glancing around the apocalypse of a classroom. “How on earth are we supposed to clean up this mess?”

“Easy. We use magic.”

“Snape specifically told us not to use magic, TJ.”

“Well he doesn’t have to know.”

“TJ.”

“Cyrus.”

They both paused, and Cyrus took this opportunity to flash TJ his cutest puppy eyes. “Pleeease don’t get us into anymore trouble.”

“Fiiiine. But only because you’re so cu-” Hm. Weird. He cut himself off.

“I’m so?”

“Annoying,” TJ teased, hopping of the desk. “Come on then, let’s do this your way.”

***

The boys had been tidying for all of five minutes before getting distracted. Again - totally TJ’s fault for being so adorable that Cyrus just had to throw a crumpled piece of paper at him. How could he have possibly predicted it would turn into a full on paper ball war?

“Alright, alright, you win!” Cyrus shrieked in defeat as TJ hurled what seemed like thousands towards him. He fell to the floor laughing as TJ plopped down next to him.

“You..have...paper,” TJ wheezed between giggles, “In your hair!” Cyrus felt his heart flutter as TJ’s hand swept the piece of paper out of his hair. He wanted nothing more than to grab his hand and just hold it in his own, but he knew TJ could never feel the same…

Or could he? Cyrus thought back to just a few moments prior, when TJ cut himself off before he could finish his sentence. What was he going to call him?

“You weren’t really going to say annoying, were you?” Cyrus asked, desperately trying to mask the shakiness of his voice and come across of nonchalant.

TJ inhaled sharply. “So he’s a master criminal and a detective…”

“Don’t expose all my secrets!” he grinned.

Exhale. “Do you want the truth?”

The truth? Truth about what? Cyrus nodded, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“I like you Cyrus.”

Well duh. “I like you too, isn’t that why we’re friends?”

“No, Cyrus…” he sighed, “I… I have a crush on you.”

Cyrus swore his heart stopped in that moment. TJ Kippen had a crush on him?

“I- I don’t want this to make things weird between us,” TJ spluttered, “I’m still grateful to be your friend and I-”

Before he could stop himself, Cyrus leaned in and pressed his lips against TJ’s. It was a quick peck, but it was enough to simultaneously silence the taller boy and make Cyrus’s heart beat out of his chest.

“Oh” TJ whispered, his cheeks flushing red as a smirk crept out.

“Oh.” Cyrus grinned, reaching over and gently grabbing TJ’s hand.

“The word was cute, by the way,” TJ beamed as he traced his thumb along Cyrus’ hand. “And I hate to break it to you, but a master criminal can’t be cute.”

They both chuckled as Cyrus rested his head on TJ’s shoulder. Maybe detention wasn’t so bad after all…

*present day*

“Cyrus! You’re daydreaming again!”

“Are you planning how you’re going to ask out a certain Slytherin?” Buffy teased, wiggling her eyebrows.

Cyrus rolled his eyes. He knew he was going to have to tell Andi and Buffy about TJ sooner or later, but part of him adored the secrecy of their relationship. A few more weeks couldn’t hurt…

He glanced down at the yellow bracelet Andi had made him, and recalled how excited she was about these tokens of their friendship and trust. Sigh. He had to tell them.

“TJ is my boyfriend.” he blurted out before he could stop himself. He didn’t realize just how good it would feel to say those words aloud.

“WHAT?” they both exclaimed in disbelief.

“Since when?”

“How did it happen?”

“Who asked who?”

Cyrus closed his eyes and smiled. This was going to be a long journey...

[nananaptime]

Not a date

My work for Writer of The Month on NCT Amino

I realised halfway through writing this that Korea won against Germany, not Russia but oh well xD

Masterlist Rules

Genre: Fluff?

Word count: 1 937

Summary: Kiss cam can end in two ways; total bliss or total disaster...

“Guys, come on. It’s not a date and you know it.” My statement went over my friends’ heads as they smirked at us and giggled. We were all on a school trip to Russia in order to relax a bit before exams begun and conveniently enough, the trip was scheduled at the same time as the football match between Russia and Korea which no one was going to miss. However obvious it was as the whole class was going to attend, our friends still insisted that it was a date because Taeyong and I had decided prior to the game that we would sit next to each other. No matter how many times we tried explaining that it was solemnly for chatting purposes that we wanted to be vacated next to each other since neither of our friends knew anything about football. This way we would be able to discuss tactics and such with each other without bothering anyone else.

Beside me, Taeyong had given up trying to persuade out mutual friends of the obvious and had since five minutes ago left that task to me, the more stubborn one of the two of us. However, I didn’t seem to be able to fulfil that near impossible undertaking as it was like talking to brick walls.  They had for many years been convinced of our attraction and tried everything they could to get us together ever since, the fact that they were right about my feelings should’ve been unimportant if they hadn’t been so blatantly obvious. It wasn’t just the girls either, the boys also pestered Taeyong about making a move and actually getting somewhere to which he desperately tried persuade them of his platonic feelings for me.

I sighed as I got nowhere with my friend’s opinions and turned to Taeyong, nodding my head in a random direction as to signal the want to explore before the big game tonight. He followed me with a relieved smile as we left our delusional group behind us.

“They’ll never stop, will they?” An unbelievable mutter left Taeyong’s lips as we entered a pedestrian street decorated with hundreds of flags and merchandise in almost every window, it came as no surprise when all of the merch was Russian rather than South Korean, but the disappointment was no less great. I looked at Taeyong who was still smiling, however this time at our friends’ allegations. My heart hurt a bit at the signs of my feelings being one-sided as he always seemed to be having his eyes on other people rather than me but I suppressed it, pushing the feelings into a box in my heart which I locked and planned on never opening again. All this so I wouldn’t lose my best friend.

“Probably not, but let them have their fun. Once we actually find our matches they’ll quiet down and realise that we were right all along.” Just saying those words caused the box in my heart to shake but the large smile he gave me helped me overlook it. That’s all I need in life, his smile, his happiness, even if it wasn’t with me.

Suddenly, Tae lit up and put his hands on my shoulders, turning me around to face a shop which had been behind me, filled with all sorts of football merch, even of the Korean kind. We both bolted for the store and, after running into a few people here and there, stood there in awe. The store was divided into two parts, the right part of the store had the Russian colours on every bit, even the walls and people were crowding around the objects, desperately trying to get their hands on something before it disappeared. The left side of the store was decorated in the colours of the South Korean flag, with merch like hats, scarfs and big foam fingers and even more on full display. Unlike the Russian side where you could barely see what the store offered because of the number of people, it was a free walk to the Korean merchandise as there were barely any people there. It was kind of sad to be honest, seeing little to no support for Korea in the world cup but then again, we were in Russia so of course, most people were going to root for their own country. Letting the feeling of support rush through me, I instantly made my way to the foam fingers which I’ve been dying to get just because they’re so extra. Along with that, I also got a scarf and a shirt, determined to show who I wanted to win. Taeyong showed just as much enthusiasm, as he too got a lot of merchandise in his hands, some of which was a big team shirt, a snapback and a foam finger. We may have gotten salty looks from the cashier but we were way too excited for this match to pay her any attention and soon we were out of the store,  fabulously showing off our game spirit.

An hour later we met our group of friends outside the arena where they had kept places for us in the queue. They laughed at us slightly as we were some of the few who so obviously wanted the away team to win, Veronica even went as far as to say that we matched and that it was a sign that we should get together to which we rolled our eyes and started talking about the game instead.

“I hope the referee isn’t biased and actually judges the game based on the performance of the teams. It would suck if we lost just because they were playing favourites.” Taeyong hummed in response to my thoughts but I didn’t get more than that which caused me to look him in the eyes, curious as to what was distracting him. Rather shockingly, I found him staring at my face with an intense gaze, causing me to grow a bit red at the unusual attention. His name left my lips in a quiet whisper as to get his attention and ask what he was looking at all in the same sentence.

“Oh, sorry, you’ve got something on your cheek.” His voice faded away into nothing as he reached his hand up and brushed away what seemed to be foam from the finger which probably had ended up there as I fixed my hair in the wind a couple of minutes prior. His touch sent tingles running through my body and I found myself not being able to look away from his intense eyes, that is until Johnny coughed into his hand awkwardly.

“Uhm, do you want us to leave you alone or?” His question was accompanied by a smirk and with a slight glare in his direction, I let them know that the line was moving and they were currently stopping the flow. He looked behind him and ran ahead slightly in order to make up for lost time, causing the rest of us to laugh at his antics.

Twenty minutes later we were all situated in our seats, which were pretty good, I must say. We had a full view of the grounds and were pretty close to the exit which means we would have no trouble sneaking away to the bathroom if needed. We had all taken the time to buy some snacks for the game which is why I was now struggling to carry a big glass of sprite and a medium popcorn while still wearing my foam finger on my left hand. Taeyong noticed my difficulties and grabbed the soda and popcorn, letting me get comfortable in my seat before managing to put everything in their assigned spot. After that any attempt to speak to Taeyong was overthrown by the loud cheer of fans as the teams started entering the arena, especially when the Russian team entered, it seemed as if the arena was going to explode thanks to the volume of everyone in it. Our plan to discuss the game went down the stream as it was way too loud to do so, however, his presence alone was enough to make me feel giddy so I settled for that, shivering from time to time while his elbow brushed mine and the warmth of his skin mixed with my own. All of that was pushed towards the back of my mind as the game finally started.

45 minutes later the arena started emptying as it was not halftime and we had the time to go use the restroom or buy more snacks if we so desired. I drank the last of my sprite as I noticed Taeyong standing up beside me.

“Hey, you want some water or something?” He asked and gestured towards my now empty cup. I nodded, grateful that I wouldn’t have to fight my way through the big crowd of people. As he left I noticed how the jumbotron lit up with what seemed like a filter over a camera. It didn’t take me long to notice that they had started a kiss cam and I just felt the atmosphere grow awkward and excited at the same time. I glanced to both sides of me and noticed to my relief that both were empty so there was no chance of me being the victim. That thought didn’t stay in my head for long as Taeyong, who had been faster than expected, came back with two big cups of water. He sat down beside me, giving me a big adorable smile and handed me the liquid, having no idea about what was going on up on the big screen. I thanked him and started sipping on my water when I heard the crowd starting to cheer. Curious, I looked up at the jumbotron and spit out my drink in surprise. There, up on the big screen in front of everyone in the arena, where our faces surrounded by a big, pink, glittery heart. My cheeks instantly heated up and I couldn’t for the life of me bring myself to look Taeyong in the eyes, thinking he must be just as embarrassed as I was. Therefore, it came as a big surprise when I felt hands cover my cheeks and bring myself closer to Taeyong’s face. With a quick reassuring smile, he pressed his lips to mine in a loving, quick peck. That was all it took for me completely crumble in emotions and I curled up into a ball in my seat, covering my red face and just trying not to freak out. The whole arena awed at us and the game continued not long after that.

It was hard for me to focus on the game after that, to say the least, as I still had the feeling of Taeyong’s lips on mine lingering. I felt multiple elbows in my side as my friends couldn’t contain their joy and just gossiped about us the whole game, which is why, when Korea won, that they screamed out of surprise as everyone rooting for Korea stood up and cheered as if their lives depended on it, including Taeyong and I. In the midst of all excitement, I threw myself over Taeyong and gave him a big bear hug. He squeezed me just as tight and lifted me off the ground, once he put me back down he, again, pressed his lips to mine, this time in a longer kiss than before, one that I almost got lost in.

Let’s just say that while Korea won the match that day, he won my heart.