#this was a pain to scribble and i Dont Know Why

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i saw them in the cookbook pages and Immediately thought of this meme:

[crushedsweets]

Can you draw or talk more about Toby and Eyeless Jack or even the X-Virus?

YESSSS i can. heres a lil doodle to get me started.

OKKKK the little concept in my head has slender's MAIN GOAL being to prevent any paranormal/supernatural stuff coming out to the general public. hence his proxies being made to get rid of tapes, evidence, and kill if Necessary. sometimes slender makes paranormal/supernatural ppl help out his human proxies "as payment for refuge" in his forest. SO that sorta explains how toby and jack know each other and why jack helps at all. he can't rlly go out to the public so he's stuck with these assholes. it's not really supposed to be a 'mansion' trope, moreso random cabins and shelters littered about the forest, but it could work in the mansion au too

Imma ramble abt toby n jacks friendship (in my head) under the cut + a random x virus doodle

as for toby and jack specifically. toby is impulsive, aggressive, can't feel pain, and doesn't know what's good for him, so he's forced to get help from jack a good bit. for a long while there was hella tension between them since, again, jack isn't helping these guys out of the goodness of his heart. he's helping them bc the forest their boss resides in is the only place he's relatively safe. jack has a weird mix of a inferiority and superiority complex, since he envies toby's humanity but also feels like he's 'better' due to toby's own . . violent habits. toby thinks jack is pretty cool from the get-go ('wooow ur grey..') but he gets pissed off with jack's questions and demands of 'DONT RIP UR FUCKING STITCHES' and 'u have a concussion don't fucking scroll on your phone for 5 hours a day'.

toby has no idea if these demands come from actual concern or annoyance, and frankly, neither does jack. regardless, toby's with jack a decent bit. partially since jack makes a lot of people really uncomfortable so it's easy to go hang out with jack when he doesnt wanna deal with anyone else but still wants company. eventually theyre capable of some decent banter and conversations. theyre both mamas boys so thats a very weird touchy topic that they kinda dance around but both feel very deeply and know the other relates. THEY MISS THEIR MOMS SO BADLY.. :( mayhaps one year toby helps drop off flowers to jack's moms house for mothers day. jacks way too ashamed to even get within a 10 mile radius of his mom. that's kinda the moment things really shift between them and they actually become friends.

toby also asks abt university. lyra was at community college until she passed, and toby never considered college as an option, so he gets curious on what he missed out on. he also likes to share stuff abt lyra and their old shenanigans. tim and brian have used his childhood against him multiple times before, and it's not like he's gonna trust ben or jeff with that information. jacks sort of like a void he could talk into. jack feels uneasy talking about his life before the sacrifice, since he misses it so unbelievably bad, but toby accidentally got him to talk about it while treating a burn before.

ok and to top this fucking essay off heres xvirus. i had no idea he existed until this year and someone sent me an ask about his updated design, so he's some scribbles for him :9 his concepts super cool tho so maybe ill get more into him later on

[xcyphoz0a]

Eleutheromania

Gender neutral reader, angst TW/CW: angst, mentions of self afflicted death Character(s): Venti Word count: 848 Proofread: nope | (n) an interest or the irresistible desire for freedom | A/N: vent post + more so dumping my inner feelings from these months written as a will

Sometimes, he thinks every single string of fate cursed him to go through the waves and lengths of grief and desolation.

He can feel the desperation through the scribbled words on the paper.

The feeling of distress, anguish, misery– everything could be felt from the lines of words messily wrote into the paper, drops of ink fading from black to purple in some spaces, noticeable tear drops smudging the ink on the paper.

He wishes to be there– to be in place instead of you, suffering from the continuous torment your own mind had caused you.

Venti knew all too well about pain.

He’d like to think he knows many aspects of the feeling.

All he feels is regret, disappointment, anger, denial.

If he was just there, in that moment before you took your decision, if only he wasn’t somewhere else– perhaps this wouldn’t have happened.

Helplessly staring at the carefully placed shoes on the cliff, he picks them up, holding them close.

What if– he thinks– what if this is just a well placed joke?

He knows it’s only the torture of hope grappling onto his heavy heart, trying to provide him a source of comfort, only for it to fail as he came to the realisation that you weren’t going to be here with him anymore, looking at the stars in the night, taking him from Dawn Winery at the oddest of hours, soothing him to sleep whenever he had nightmares, all the little things that the two of you did, you weren’t going to be there with him anymore.

He could only imagine the tears that you painfully choked up from your body, alone, waiting for someone to help, the uncontrollable shaking that followed from fear and both pain. The desperate feeling for someone or something to alleviate the heavy weight on your chest, unable to breathe.

He knew your want for freedom. It didn’t make sense– the city of Mondstadt was the symbol of freedom.

What was the freedom you were talking about? Was the question that he continuously asked himself whenever you’d mention your desire for freedom.

Now, he knew what it meant. And he wishes so dearly that he was wrong.

He stands on the grassy planes of Starsnatch cliff, hands shaking as he holds your papers containing your will.

Hello, to whoever reads this; I’ll start off with something more light. I was, since I was born, felt a sense of emptiness. I didn’t know until a few years ago that the emptiness was my lack of feeling of freedom. I didn’t know what it meant. You probably don’t understand it either. I live… lived, in Mondstadt. the city of freedom. So why couldn’t I feel that emptiness being fulfilled? I don’t know either. I’ve seeked many solutions, they never worked, so please don’t come asking for my soul why I did what I did. I think my decision was the only solution I had left. Will I regret it? Perhaps. I don’t know. I really dont. But maybe, it is the key for my want of ‘freedom’ to be quenched. So if you’re reading this, I won’t be here anymore, living through memories with whoever you are. I wanted to just, say– perhaps, I wasn’t meant to be in this… body, after all. I want to… put a pause on my life. I didn’t want to bear the thought of waking up and repeating the same routine over and over again, no matter how vastly different it was to each other, I… I just couldn’t. But I don’t want to die. I really don’t want to. I never did. I just wanted to put a pause, like how someone would pause a mechanism and restart it again soon– just like that. I… I just, wanted a break from living. Don’t we all at some point? Haha… I dislike this from getting too long, but I wanted to just convey some of my thoughts, so you can just, throw this away if you’d like, I don’t mind. But still, if you’re reading this part, could you perhaps, not tell anyone? I haven’t… ‘died’, not yet at least, it’s just a pause button on my life, think of it as that, simple, right? This… will be the last few lines of this paper. I think my decision would quench my desire for freedom. I really think it will, don’t grieve. I’ll do what I want to do now. So I did. I did what I wanted to do. Find my own freedom. Goodbye. I’ll see you soon. -(Y/n)

His legs feel numb as he falls onto the ground.

Oh, how he wishes that the ‘I’ll see you soon’ would be real– he’d close and open his eyes, finding your form with him, taking him into your arms.

Venti opens his eyes, finding the stray leaves floating down from the cliff, but you weren’t there.

And all he could do was cry, the suddenness of the surge of emotion scratching the insides of his throat in the burn of anguish and grief.

[hearts4juzi]

Explaining some of this comic. because why not?

First of all i wanted the background to be empty mostly because my wrist hurt lol but also its just. a strange place to be.

it starts with evan confessing. i started with only evan so that it might seem like hes talking to a friend. someone familiar who he could confide in. his colors are duller compared to everything else, especially michael. but his eyes are a bright blue and his speech bubble is a bright yellow. what he says and what he sees.

but he also has no mouth, so does what he say hold any real weight? not to him

also his pupils r scribbles. hes full of anxiety and sadness and all kinds of emotions that cannot be articulated.

second panel is michael. hes much bigger than evan, much sharper, and most notably hes not human looking.

another part of this is his head/shirt are seperate from his arms, so we know this isnt really what he looks like. its what he puts up

like i said with evan, if he has no mouth, does what he say hold any weight? but its different because he has a mask on. are the things he says to evan important enough to be said without the mask? if he took it off, would he be a different person?

michael has no real expression. its impossible to tell what he wants to get out of this interaction. we dont know what he wants

his eyes are purple for obvious reasons, but also because this is the scalding honesty that william has. the painful truth that everyone tells evan

the next panel once again looks friendly. from michaels point of view, at least. he has a hand on evans shoulder and is reassuring him in a fucked up way. "if you hate me then its okay for me to hate you" but evan didnt hate michael. or he didnt WANT to. he never wanted this. not from his brother, never his brother.

and then he leaves. he doesntwait for evan to be comforted. he decides hes done enough now and leaves. while evan registers what was said to him. and of course the symbolism of the bite.

michaels ignorance and selfishness are present here. and they are what caused the bite

the lmao was just to be like. wow michael does not gaf.

also michaels speech bubbles are spiky and loud, evans are drawn similar to his tears, like hes choking up.

(also i just noticed michaels looks a lot like ice. like hes being cold to evan)

[kryptonitejelly]

hi!! for the blurb ideas i have one for hotch! maybe the reader knocking on his door and him opening only to see them hurt...and they have a “who did this to you” moment 🥺 even better if the reader thought that hotch wouldn't care but he loses his mind! thank you ❤❤❤

A/N: I dont think this is exactly on point, but here it is! 💕

Requests for blurbs currently open here.

“Come in.” He responds to the knock on his office door as he would to any other.

You turn the doorknob to his office, wincing slightly at the amplified throb of pain that shoots through your shoulder the moment you raise your hand. Taking a breath, you shake it off before stepping past the threshold of his office.

“We got the hard drive Jenkins was looking for, Garcia is going through it now and copying out the information before we get it back to trafficking.” You update him, not waiting for him to look up from the report he was scribbling his name onto in a sign off.

“Great, tha-” He drops his pen, lips moving in response as he finally looks up at you. His words however, die on his lips when he takes in the bruise blossoming across your cheekbone, the blood that has dried on your split bottom lip, and the uneven height in your shoulders which he knows is tell tale of injury.

“Who did this to you?” His features harden into a frown and his lips draw themselves out into an angry line.

“I - uh, got into a fight with one of the unsubs.” You falter slightly at the dark flash that thunders across his eyes, your palms slicking with sweat as your nerves bubble up. You are entirely unsure of why he is getting so worked up.

He pushes himself off his chair, and strides across to you. Before you can even comprehend what is happening, he is tugging you further into his office, his hand pressing his office door shut, eyes examining the bruise on your face, and the cut on your lip, before trickling down to focus on your shoulder.

“Have you seen the medic?“

“Not really, the scene was chaos, and some of the counterterrorism agents were pretty badly hurt, so -”

“Sit.” He interupts and points towards the couch in his office. You think to protest, but the throbbing of your shoulder coupled with the ache blooming across your cheekbone and lip cause you to shut your mouth and comply.

“I send you with Morgan, the human version of a battering ram and you come back cut and bruised?” He grouses quietly and you find yourself biting down on the inside of your cheeks to swallow a chuckle.

He pulls out a first aid kit from the bottom drawer of his desk and comes to sit beside you.

“This will sting.” He warns as he tears open a packet of antiseptic swabs. Before you know it, a large warm hand is cupping your face, fingers swiping the antiseptic square gently across your lip. It stings, as warned, and you can’t help the involuntary wince of your expression and shudder that runs through your body.

“Be still.” He murmurs, and heat rises in your face as you feel the pad of his thumb brush across your jaw. He moves to retrieve another antiseptic wipe, repeating the similar motion across the bruise on your cheekbone. You wince again, confirming the presence of multiple mini lacerations across the skin of your bruise and again, you feel his thumb stroke across your jaw. Surely he had just meant to be comforting, but your skin feels like it is on fire.

“Hotch, I can do this on my own.” The back of your neck prickles with electricity as you realise just how close you both are to each other.

“Will it kill you to be still?” He questions, his tone mildly exasperated, and his gaze slides to meet yours. Your eyes lock with his, and suddenly his fingers feel like they are burning hot coals against your skin.

His thumb is now stroking circles onto your jaw, and your mind is spinning, with questions and a tinge of yearning. You don’t respond, but you find your gaze fixating on his lips. He moves and inch closer and you forget how to breathe.

“You need to take better care of yourself.” He breathes out, his words filling the gap between you both.

“I do take care of myself ..” Your protest is weak, as your gaze flits from his mouth to his eyes.

“Not enough.” He voice is barely a murmur and you find his lips moving an inch closer to yours.

You aren’t sure who closes the distance, but all of a sudden his lips are pressingly gently against yours, quick, light, chaste and with no pressure because he remains mindful of the cut you are sporting.

“Not enough.” He mutters again as he pulls away to lean his forehead against yours. You think you forget how to breathe.

[weirdcat1213]

Its time for the weekly horrors- I mean Trimax vol 3 >:3

The Thoughts:

chap 1:

-AH EVERYTHING IS FALLING

-bro you are about to get into a fight can you stop thinking about your bf for 5 minutes

-fr tho, vash's words making him hesitate/angry is so dcfgjhbkml

-why everyone wants my babygirl dead :c

-now now, comparing someone with their brother isnt a nice thing to do

-oh so now we're not even making an allegory, he actually called him jeesus

-also "your soul is forced to endure the sorrow by the hundreds, suffering by the thousands, and the rage by the hundreds of thousands" im gonna throw up cuz of how that GOOD and PAINFUL that shit is

-the polar opposite of being a human huh...i mean besides something i said weeks ago about how he's further away from humanity more than he would like that point is interesting cuz most of the time we call him someone who is more human than any other person. he carries more pain than any human could endure and definitely has more patience than anyone will ever have but...hm...i want to come back to this

-ww pls dont make me cry today pls honey

-oh im gonna cry

-"your ideals will join you in the grave" i fucking hate thats the reason why we all try to be better people, thanks to that fucking wet cat of a man i cannot deal actually

-MILLIE :D

chap 2:

-i dont have much to say about battles but let it be on the record that I'm enjoying ww's eyes sm

-oh page 38 is cool as hell

-OH SHIT IS THAT HIS FUCKING SPINE????

chap 3:

-ww stop having pretty eyes youre distracting

-meanwhile :3

-ah geesus the body horror (so good but creepy)

-EYES :D

-so many fucking details. nightow got down even the smallest scribbles, as 98 vash would say

-oh right that....thats still upsetting

-i fucking swear people need to leave my son alone

-also fucking hate that he had to SHOOT A BABY even if it was fake

-I FUCKING HATE THIS ACTUALLY

-i can feel his fucking mind breaking i cant do this

chap 4:

-"i cant do this" yet here i am lmao

-i think if vash held me like hes holding that girl a lot of my problems would be resolved ngl

-characters reciting names always get to me :c

-also HA EAT THE PTSD ASSHOLE

-"why are there so many" brad you may want to sit down for this one

-..................i deadass thought "oh the doctor is here" IVE READ THIS BEFORE AND I FELL FOR IT AGAIN

-vash with his hair down :3

-nah hes not gonna kill you BUT HE FUCKING SHOULD

-oh i will kill so many people (vash is bleeding)

-hm. this reminds me of something in houseki no kuni (i wont spoil but maybe ichikawa had trigun as inspo which would be cool af)

chap 5:

-oh im yeeting myself (ww thinks about the children) -ww gives in his anger and fear when punching those weirdass faces but I'm gonna say this once: that doesn't make him weaker or worst. i haven't seen anyone think that of ww, i just feel that when he compares himself to vash he feels that way and i cant stand it :)

-vash i fucking swear-

-oh god the fingers...the fucking fingers...

-oh you are NOT talking to my vash about pain and agony

-OH WAIT I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THAT PANEL OH GOD NO I HATE REREADS WTF

-XD my girls

no wait i need to get back to that. i thought that was emilio's dad not fucking vash himself oh my god I'm sick so sick actually wtfffffffffffff

chap 6:

-is this the chapter with the gays eyes cuz I'm not ready for that-

-oh fuck you nightow. fuck you for putting knives in the title page and the title being "families"

-i want to punch so many things but I'm at work. fuck

-also i forgot about this stampede parallel GOD WHEN DOES MY SUFFERING END

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE GAY EYESSSSSSS

-yeah i agree this is literally the moment. like fuck. fuck actually. fuck what else is there to say.

-fuck

-like hes so fucking terrified that he was afraid for him, what his journey is causing ww, but even if he wanted ww to stay away and safe he knows ww would say fuck off, but also vash would not be able to take it

-THERES SO MUCH FEAR AND LOVE IN THOSE EYES IM GONNA BITE MY HAND

-OH I CANT ACTUALLY WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH WTF

-im so fucking upset cuz the last 3 chapters were basically fights. they were full of energy and shit but now that is over and they are in a rare moment of peace, and everything fucking hits.

-im gonna go outside and step into oncoming traffic

-YES LUIDA MY QUEEN SHUT HIM UP

-WOLFWOOD :D pls never leave me

-i....*implodes*

-i am nothing. i just remembered that.

-OH CMONNNNNN

chap 7

-maybe i dont want to read trimax anymore. maybe a little person like me isn't strong enough for a 2nd round of the pain. with that in mind, lets keep reading :D

-WHERES THE NIGHTOW PUNCHING BAG WHEN YOU NEED IT

-wolfwood what he is it doesnt matter i swear pls cant you just love him?

-:c

-i dont like vash being emotionally attached to stuff cuz that means i have to yell HES LIKE ME FR FR

-oh that....that beautiful panel...amazing

-i think my mind blocked this out because of the previous sad things that happened, so now my brain is allowing me to process more sad things :3

-"i still have so much i must do" and i see i still have many tears to cry out huh?

-ofc wolfwood would ask about redemption

-cant my man show an important part of his past and show vulnerability in front of his friends in peace? damn

-im gonna start bitting my glasses

-GAY MOMENT PART 2 INCOMING

-luida pls i want to stop crying

-oh wolfwood honey....you just fell so hard for my man didnt ya

-i just realized the chapter is called "life as a" and I THINK the idea is to complete it with "life as a 'vash the stampede'" cuz he's not human

OK GREAT NOW I CAN RUN TO THE WASHROOM AND FUCKING CRY :D

[sicjimin]

Anything you want, I want. Write away, bestie. I’ve been here before and I’m a huge namgi fanatic. I don’t really have a scenario but maybe since it’s a different pairing from what you normally write, it’ll bring you some different inspo. I apologize if I squish your motivation with this “request.”

Just a suggestion really 😊 don’t pressure yourself too much, babes, you write beautifully.

ok a little drabble about pregnant yoongi, coming from me and @sickybubbies talk about morning sickness prompt — where the sickie got his morning sickness during the usual check up. Anddd i was thinking about making Namjoon as Yoongi's boyfriend, also his doctor :D

***

Seokjin places his hand on Yoongi's thighs that has been fidgeting up and down since they sat in the hospital waiting room for Yoongi's monthly check up. "You will jolt from this seat if you keep bouncing your legs", Seokjin says, scoffs when he sees the younger pouts, "Why are you so nervous anyway?"

"I just dont like check up", Yoongi huffs, now pulling the sleeve of his sweater and fidgets with it. "It's always making me anxious"

"But you got nothing to be worried for? Everything is fine, right? I mean, Namjoon-ah is fussing over you all the time and he is your doctor", Seokjin states, patting Yoongi's thighs, "He will know if theres something wrong"

"I know i know", Yoongi huffs again, shifting on his seat and craddling his stomach that starts to churn with anxiety, "I just can't help it"

"You will be fine, Yoongichi"

Yoongi just about to grunt some more, when the nurse calls his name. He bites a gasp, standing slowly, tugging Seokjin's sleeve with him—he needs emotional support.

A cool breeze from air conditioner hits him right when he steps in, "Hi love"

Yoongi snorts, "Do you greet all of your patients like that?"

"Stop being so grumpy", Namjoon laughs, as he opens Yoongi's medical record, "Let's see ... is there any complaint for this week? anything strange or uncomfortable? pain?"

"You live with me, Joon-ah"

Namjoon groans, glaring at Seokjin that openly laughs at the answers, "Baby come on, i'm trying to be a good doctor here"

Yoongi smiles, "Nothing .. everything is fine", he says, unconciously bringing his hand to rub over his bump, "But i feel a little queasy now"

Namjoon hums, scribbling something, "Have you eat breakfast this morning?"

"Yeah..", Yoongi trails off, "But i threw it up again"

Namjoon looks up, "You did?"

"Yeah, before we went here", this time Seokjin answers, "He can't stop fidgeting since i picked him up, even until few minutes ago"

"Yoongi baby ..", Namjoon calls softly, "You know that nothing bad gonna happens during check up, right? I live with you, so i will know if there's something wrong"

Yoongi pouts, feeling reprimanded but he knows that he needs to hear that—so his baby can stop freaking out too. "I know .."

"It's okay", Namjoon cheers up, "Now let's see our little blueberry", he stands up, motioning Yoongi to move to the bed for USG.

"Blueberry?", Yoongi tilts his head, confused, as he slowly steps into the small make-up stairs to help him lay on the bed. Namjoon gently holds his hand until he's comfortable, before turning to the USG machine.

Yoongi gulps when he's laying flat—it feels like nausea that been pooling down in his stomach slowly creeping up to his chest and settle on his middle part. He parted his lips, attempting to make the pressure lessen.

"Ready?", Namjoon smiles, putting his gloves and grab the gel, "I will apply this cooling gel as usual, okay?"

Yoongi hums, closing his eyes instantly when Namjoon's hand start going through his bump. He bites back a moan when the light pressure intensify his queasiness.

"Here they are"

Yoongi opens his eyes, lifting his head a little so he can get a better sight of his—and Namjoon's baby. For a second, he can forget the quite heavy tool roaming around his bump.

"Ah ...", Yoongi mutters, "It's them"

"Our baby", Namjoon hums, "We can figure out their gender next week if you want"

"Okay", Yoongi lay back down again, letting Namjoon continues the examination as the latter keeps moving the doppler around, "They are healthy, Yoongi"

Yoongi hums. "Is it still taking long?", he asks—he's really nauseous now.

"No no no, it's done"

Yoongi sighs in relief when Namjoon picks the doppler away, and helps him to sit up—but maybe moving your body from laying down to straight up sit is a wrong move when you're already queasy because, "Joon-ah ...", Yoongi breathes out, color visibly draining from his face as he curls his fingers over Namjoon's arms that been holding him.

"Hyung .. whats wrong?", Namjoon frowns, "Feeling sick?"

Yoongi quickly nods, biting his lips. A wet gag immediately erupts from him when Seokjin retrieve hospital sick bag from Namjoon's shelf, and places it under his mouth.

Yoongi shuddered, ducking his head closer to the bag just in time for a new gag—a productive one as vomit spraying from his lips, adding weight to the bag.

"Ahh .. that's it", Namjoon soothes, shifting to wrap the older shoulder, as he bent forward, belches once more—bigger stream crinkling audibly against the clear bag.

"Uurrk—"

"Breathe hyung"

Yoongi scrunches his face as he coughs, spitting the remnant that lodging on his throat, before his stomach turns again and he's back bringing up mouthful after mouthful—until each round getting more watery and tappered into a fit of weak gagging.

"I think .. i'm done", Yoongi sniffles, shakily pull his mouth away—grimacing when he could see the bag filled almost half of it with brown liquid.

He gonna be sick again.

Namjoon squeeze his nape, before taking the bag and tell the nurse to throw it away. "This telling me that the anti-emetic didn't work quite well anymore?"

"I don't know ..", Yoongi sags tiredly against Seokjin that been standing beside him as well. "All i know is i will keep throwing up"

Namjoon chuckles, tucking his hair, "I will prescribe you something else, and vitamins okay?"

Yoongi pouts, not clearly enthusiastic with the image of more pills to get down with every meals. "Whatever you say doc, if i say no you will still gonna bring it home"

Seokjin laughs, "Yah Yoongichi stop making Namjoon's work harder"

"I told you i try to be a good doctor", Namjoon pinch his cheeks, before helping Yoongi to get down from the bed and accompany him to the door, "I will try to go home early"

***

ok i dont actually know what is this 🥲😭

[livawritesshit]

Ink Demon! X Selv Preservative Reader!

Gender isnt really implied but i imagined it to be , AFAB Think whatever makes you happy!

Like He tries to manipulate you and make you do stuff you dont want to and shit and you finally have enough and tell him off

Slight Angst? Crying Swearing Violence Slight fluff , The ink demon wants you to be his partner in his hell of a domain lol, but you dont want to knowing nothing would come out of it , slight manipulation? But it doesn’t even get that far

It was yet another day in the ink demons lair, just as depressing and empty as all the other times he would make me sit in here , im tired of this shit! He keeps trying to make me do his work it all leads to nothing anyway . Every. Single. TIME. I hear something outside ,splashes outside the wall , hes back .. you have to be fucking kidding! I hurriedly , scribble Down on the paper i found last Time i escaped for a little bit , writing on it saying i had left and i domt ever want to see him again, perfect! I slide it where i was previously sitting , i hurry over to my makeshift hiding spot behind the film tapes, as i Peek out , noticing him Enter the room , he looks around for a moment before growling , is he angry? He notices the paper and picks it up , there goes a few seconds before he lets out a Roar and hurriedly leaves , supposedly to find me . im not even sure why hes so obsessed with me .. im not That special theres Audrey and uhh Alice ,

oh no! Alice is a bitch! , i sit for a moment before Looking if he were to come back, and sure as hell he did , he was thrashing slightly , his ink seemed more liquid as if he were panicing . Serves him right! I Watch on as he searched around not even thinking i would ever hide under his Old tapes , if he were to find me now he would for sure kill me.. then he lets out that damn .𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒆𝒓. It makes my heart ache every time , i hesitate hiding for Long , he sounded so pained.. no i cant! hes just trying to manipulate me .. nothing special ! he keeps whining and whimpering , looking around before laying Down on the floor by where i previosly had sat nuzzling?… his head against Where im guessing my warmth was slightly lingering , he whimpered and whined constantly most likely trying to make me leave my spot ,

maybe some minutes passed? Time is crazy Down here.. before he Got up slowly walking off . I wait and he doesnt return , i quickly get up from my spot making sure to be quiet , before sprinting off , Freedom! I make Way to heavenly toys , before getting away . Alice was gonna kill me! Most likely after last time.”where can i hide?..” whispering to myself , a few miracle boxes were nearby , thats great! . I walk over to a door ,

𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘥 .. 𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘥. as my heart rate goes up and thoose voices tell me tp hide yet again whenever im near him, i run off to a miracle box slamming the door shut , as i wait inside, i can hear him , 𝘏𝘦 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘮𝘦.. Thats not good.. I hear him run as he stops in front of the door clawing at it growling , I hold my breath . He stops and leaves , as I huddle closer to the wall , if theese miracle boxes didn’t exist I would have been dead long ago..

I wanted to stay in the miracle box and never leave .. i was safe.. for once in this hell of a studio, he was so obsessed with me.. didnt he have Audrey to chase around ? She was a danger! Not me i just sat around .. “that fucking demon..” i felt anger rise , i could feel my vision go blurry remebering audreys sweet face and voice and little Bendy . Not the hell of a a demon hes become now. He was so silly and never wanted to hurt anyone.. he just wanted someone who loved him .. not like joey that fucking bitch! If hes alive ill strangle him and rip out his eyes , i clawed at the Walls , as tears streamed Down my face , i just cant help it , i just wish i had never taken that job offer! I punched the wall , effectively making my hand hurt like hell , “fuck!” I wanted to scream , why does this happen to me! , i knew he could hear me , i cant give a shit . It would be better to die and be free from this everything Down. Here is trying to kill me left and right anyway! , he was coming and he had heard me. Fuck”im so fucking stupid i need to calm Down and Think!” I whispered to myself , he was banging on the door clawing at it, doing whatever he could to possibly harm the door , he whimpered like a puppy. He had made a few small dents but the door never budged, he was whining now , low growls as he tried to get in , the door was creaking like hell , almost as if begging for him to stop , he never .. did stopping for moments before coming back with more agressive attacks, the door slightly moved i could almost hear him smile , as he was practically going on feral on the door , it moved again one of the hinges coming off, i could hear him step back before launching his body against the door as it fell off and opened , revealing him standing there with that evil smile that was permanetly sketched onto his face ,

He walked over on all fours like a animal , i could feel his gaze on me like i was a delicious Chunk of Meat, he opened his mouth , closing my eyes i knew he was going to eat me , but the pain or teeth never came a Long forked tongue licked me , as i felt him Press his head against my chest , as if he wanted me to coddle?.. him , a deep PURR emiting from his throat like a growl , his head nuzzling against me , he had pushed himself on top of me like a dog wrapping his limbs around me , covering me in his ink as i struggled to get him off , he kept on licking me spreading his ink everywhere on my clothes and face , seemingly satisfied before grabbing the nape of my shirt dragging me off like i was a cat! “Let go of me! I didnt ask for this!” I struggled thrashing about to make it as difficult as possible before making him lose a grip on me , as i shook off his ink most of it falling off, he whined as he most likely knew i was about to run off again as he quickly grabbed me again to cover me in his ink yet again. “Stop doing that its disgusting! Ill smell like you and Audrey Will get scared!” He whimpered licking my face, ..“sᴏʀʀʏ“ he had to wheeze it out as if talking made his whole body burn in pain, yet i was dumbfounded that he talked , “what?..” i turned to him , his ink looked more solid then when i was gone , “please put me Down Bendy..” he didnt oblige until we came to his lair , making sure i couldnt escape as he Picked up the paper handing it to me before pointing with his claws to where i had wrote ,𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖, saddening , he was trying to guilt trip me into staying in this hell hole? “Seriously you can’t fucking expect me to want to stay here! Or even see you again? You keep holding me prisoner ! Everything down here wants to fucking kill me left and right wherever I go something wants to rip off my head as if I killed their family with a butter knife! Especially you!” I point my finger at him accusingly , he growls “you used to be so sweet and generous , look at yourself you kill and slaughter. manipulate , nothing ever leaves you unscathed! Like Audrey ! Look at her now! you emotionally Tore her apart , nobody would want to stay here! Except you because you know you have nowhere Else to go where you wouldnt be called a fucking monster and you know it!” I hissed back at him surprised at my own tone , he didnt do anything , he just sat there , god the tension in the air was heavy.. “I’m not really sorry I know it’s all joeys fault but you make people fear you bendy… thats why they often most cases are so hostile fearing your there .. i cant do this and i dont get why you dont just kill me , you just bring me back here everytime .. i Dont want to be here” his head lifted slightly , his gaze was pointed at me , “why do you keep me here?..” he sat up moving closer to me , i slightly moved back earning a whine from him, he kept moving closer and i kept moving back , until i hit a wall , he was gurgling something? Ink spilling off him as if he were crying , “.. ʀᴀʀᴀɢғʜᴀ.. ʟʀᴀᴠᴀ.. ʟᴏᴠᴇ.. ʜʀᴀʀɢᴀʜ ᴍɪɴᴇ..“ he was reaching out for me with his clawed hand , i shook my head , “Bendy i couldnt love you even if you werent like this.. you keep me stuck like a prisoner , you made me seperate from Audrey.. we aren’t the same species so it couldn’t work ..I’m sorry I can’t love you with all Theese barriers in the way .. “ he seemed to gurgle as his hand stopped returning to him as he sat on the floor across from me his ink spilling rapidly but recollecting onto him , he 𝑾𝒂𝒔 crying..?, he didnt make a single Sound except his ink falling and recollecting onto him , a whimper left him as he turned and left , ok that made me feel like shit but i cant handle that i cant love him. Even if he were to change … i scooped off some of his ink , looking at it for a moment before placing it on the floor , he had just left without a trace? , i need to find out what is his deal with all that? .. “Love?… mine..” something clicked, he wants me to be his mate..

As i sat there pondering, I had to make boundaries, if it were to EVER happen , he would kill me if he went on a rampage most likely.. the footsteps came ,he had returned as my heart rate and the voices arrived , but i didnt listen ,as he went into a corner of his lair , curling into a Ball his ink still pooling and reforming around him , i Got up walking over , “Bendy..?” I reached out to him stroking one of his horns , he purred before pulling away slightly , i had really upset him with what i Said.. “im sorry i was so harsh on you .. i just coudlnt help it , you wouldnt like it if joey just trapped you and made you stay all alone ..” he turned to me , before turning around to stand on Two legs , “Hello.. come sit with me wont you?” I patted in front of me , he hesitated it was obvious , he sat Down leaning his head towards me stopping to check if i would push him away, i wouldnt this time , he leaned in his head making contact with my lap , stroking his head , complete silence except his deep purrs , he was staring at me again , “Bendy .. listen to me okay?. If this would ever happen you would have to respect me , i dont want to do your job i am not a puppet for entertainment , i truly am flattered you would Think of me in that Way, but you need to stop manipulating me.im tired of it ..” he let out a slight whine as if to say sorry , he had moved his face up towards mine his hot breath on my face

He licked me once , as if to agree or maybe something else ? No idea , he bumped his forehead against mine , it’s slightly hurt since he was mostly solid “ow..”

He licked me again, I’m guessing he’s apologising , as he grabbed me , with such tenderness you would think it were a blanket but no it was the ink demon who was ruled to be feral aggressive, shows no mercy, yet here he was coddling me as if I would break , my neck was starting to hurt. Ow “please let me go i can walk by myself “he whimpered , he was trying to speak so I patiently waited “.. ɪ ᴄᴀʀᴇ .. ғᴏʀ . ʏ/ɴ ..” i Sighed”i know i know.. but please let me go . “ he obliged , as he sat and stared like a puppy , “your honestly like an animal.” He was gonna be a piece of work but ill make it work ..

ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ..

[ackalice]

@mono-chrono (curiosity i hear?? alrighty)

I present to you my very first original characters and original story!

heads up, that description was heavily generalized and, as the post indicated, a very poor way of explaining it- SO

In present day Minnesota, local 17 year old "weird kid" Vivian is living life as usual. She's bubbly, extroverted as all hell, and as her title suggests is the town weirdo. It isn't her fault, but her interests and her attitude have given her a reputation as someone no one else wishes to interact with. Harsh, but it is what it is.

Viv is makin' her way through highschool, a part-time job, and is juggling all her other hobbies as well (Ballet, theater, knitting, scrap booking, flute...among others). She even plans on going to a near-by art college when she graduates!

Heres some scribbles:

One afternoon, while she is relaxing at home after some of her after-school activities, someone decides to pay her a visit. Not the normal way like a normal person, oh no. It's a fucking shadow in her hallway staring at her laying on the couch.

One second she's staring at this shadowy motherfucker and the next its right in her face and shes screaming to high heaven until she blacks out.

Vivian wakes up in a emo-black manor. When I was emo-black I mean the only colors in this damn house are black, deep red, and the occasional silver. It's also dark. Really dark. The only light comes from old fashioned candles scattered about.

So like any other completely sane and totally not mentally challenged individual Viv decides to go slinking around the house and stick her nose into everything. On her way, she finds that same bitch that jumped in her face. Just kinda standing their awkwardly with a pasty deer mask and dark cloak. Like a weirdo.

When faced with an entity that presumably transported her to this very dark and eerie place and consequently kidnapped her, what do you think she does? She chases this asshole and actually catches them off guard for a minute. Its a minute long enough for her to be able to tackle them hard enough to send them both down the very long staircase to the first floor. Ow.

Somewhere along this bumpy and painful fall the deer mask gets taken off. And thus reveals Vivian's kidnapper. A skinny dark haired kid.

Enter Finn Blanchard! The resident try hard underdog who is also, haha you guessed it, a demon! Not a very high ranked one, but a demon no less. He attempts to put on a bad-boy face, which works if you dont know him, but if you do you'll read right though it and know that hes secretly freaking out

his backstory is uh. hhhhhh. stupid traumatizing- but thats another story for another time- NOW WHERE WAS I

So Viv ends up getting freaked and jumping off of him. But only briefly before she noticed the DAMN BOY HAD HOOVES AND LITTLE ITTY BITTY HORNS AWWWW

Finn sat there in shock and flusterment while Vivian fawned over his features.

Then the story continues as Viv figures out why Finn brought her there and her finding out that "there" is actually HELL. With satan and all that crap. And also maybe Viv and Finn finding feelings for each other-

I DONT WRITE THE RULES-

but again thats just the beginning of the story and there is much MUCH more to it that im not sure i should dump all on tumblr. but this is fun so m a y b e...

also heres a height chart for fun

[kneehighcrocs]

FOR THE FUTURE TRAILER SPOILERS!!!!

idk how big the gap has to be for it to say keep reading or whatever so just scroll rly far yk

im just gonna list everything i see and think

the collector let king keep francois but idk where they are

theres so many things i can say abt that stack of tomes i cant even start

LILITHS HAIR??? OMG <33 it reminds me of cissy but i wonder why she had to cut it that short

poor hooty :(

as hooty is showing king says “watch things pass” does that mean hooty is essentially dead

the collector rly let loose. everywhere is starry and purple now

also i thought the whole head of the titan was decimated? ig not since only rly the top left is gone

they puppetified (for lack of a better word) all the coven heads

but where is terra.

WHERE IS TERRA

i wonder if theres any reason why we cant see dariuss face

was king trying to sneak off with hooty?

SHORT HAIRED EDA

seems like shes been shifting into harpy form way more judging by the amount of feathers

im assuming the collector is who scribbled out the “but should they meddle in our affairs” etc paragraph, but we dont get shown fully what theyve written under

they even puppetified the damn bugs

im assuming they are the one flicking that star but where are they? it shows bump at hexside after but wherever they are doesnt look like hexside. looks more like a house

they got all the teachers even the illusions one

the transformation could be painful judging by the split second we see bump grimace

they all look sad/disturbed apart from hunter who looks angry

hes also stood a lot further away than anyone else idk if that has any significance

marcy wuz here reference? lol

i do wonder who wrote these bc “there is no titan” doesnt seem very collector-y

“bad word” does tho. also smth abt “kissing ___ grass” and “owls r dumb”

hootys weird vein thingies arent in the door

maybe another grimwalker?? but idk how belos would have the materials

could be beloss hand as he tries to go back into his human form but im not sure

i thought it could be in his cave but theres what i think is a curtain off to the side so maybe not

theyre at hexside now judging by the bg

amity saying oh my titan is rly confusing to me bc the first two shots of her face seem serious but the last seems comedically exaggerated? idk

no idea what she could be looking at to be honest. possibly the twins or smth

we dont know what that glyph is but maybe it has smth to do with the potential grimwalker

is that the cave belos was in in ep12?

the collector has changed the whole town

idk who could be attacking but a puppet is running away in the bg so it could be eda or smth not realising who hunter and willow are

matt i dont approve of the beard

barcus, skara and matt seem very calm but i find that weird. all the teachers have been transformed so i thought the school would be basically unavailable, but they seem to have set up camp there

not sure where they could be here. my first thought was the detention pit just judging by the eyes and claws on the wall but remembering the size of it changed my mind a little

why isnt matt fighting whatever luz and amity are?

camila looks terrified but she did only just get there so

MAJOR REVELATION HERE TO WHOEVERS BOTHERING TO READ ALL THIS- they looked through luzs memories. THEY LOOKED THROUGH LUZS MEMORIES

she looks guilty, matt looks confused and maybe sad and we cant see amitys face but guessing off context and body language shes concerned

again, idk who could be attacking here

seems like not all the students managed to avoid getting puppetified. cat and amelia are off to the side

king looks determined, the collector looks angry in a childish way. im not sure what they could be flying towards

ig king is pretending to side with the collector

we see more of the eyeball cave thing from earlier, and theres what i think is a clear entrance, so i rly dk where this is.

but CAMILA IS FIGHTING 💪💪

the owl beast can take over even when eda is in harpy form?

idk what it is abt this scene but the animation of eda losing it seems different. i think its just the lack of shadows since the lightings behind her

im gonna guess this last scene is what happened right after the hexsquad went through the door

bc theres still chunks of the skull floating and king has no robe

this mustve been before they got the idea of transforming everyone bc if eda got that close and is still fine then yk

king looks very worried but seems like he knows theres basically nothing he can do abt it

thats all ive got for now 🤭🤭

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ok no im so tired but ive had this Thing a Laughingstock Concept Thing in my Brain for Days Now and its.... basically what if Barnaby adopted a lil caterpillar. like it's not sapient or anything its literally A Wriggly Puppet Prop. but he finds it in his home and it reminds him of Howdy and he keeps it. he carries it everywhere. he treats it so tenderly and names it and everything. his delusional smitten subconscious is like "omg... mine & howdy's <3" he and Howdy are not even together at this point

so Barnaby cares for this lil caterpillar and Howdy ends up getting attached as well, because he's on the same shit as Barnaby. and eventually the lil caterpillar pupates, and they watch over the chrysalis So Excited to see what lil wormie will look like as a butterfly. and it emerges and they're so proud and weirdly emotional. the butterfly takes off on its first flight and lands on a flower patch

just in time for Eddie to trip and fall on the patch, instantly crushing it And the butterfly

[sentimintz]

and the habits of dead (and dying, or buried) things.

(a c!wilbur inspired poem.)

once i sat besides man who raised me, father, hand to pull my sprout up and toward the sun, (and to shove blade betwixt ribs and into beating, blood, traitorous heart), and i asked him what he thought love to be

he said to be kind. to be sweet. to sit besides them no matter what, even if storms brew or words hurt or the distance stretches. to care infinitely, he says.

the moment was carried away on winds of past and youth and not yet hurting familial bonds and not yet ruined lives (soon.)

so i say to myself, im not sure what i think love is, in the end.

i have loved but it feels tainted upon looking in dirty lens, dirty fingers, bloody hands, retrospection.

i have loved but each a different shape that bends and grows like shadows, that differs in opacity (sun setting, sun rising, hearts breaking.)

to love is to care and give and take and forgive and forget but never forget the important parts, to cliff note joy and warmth and trust i think. trust without exchange, adoration and warmth without demand.

the definition of love is what i searched for even in the back of my tattered broken shaky hand made patch mind, stepping over broken glass into the cobweb corners and childish wonders of what this and that and the third really truly are, what it all means (that is: everything.)

a little note scribbled through tears of “love: a study?” there is nothing to follow. empty question empty man empty hands, no answer disregarded until we reach times like this when everything is too quiet and i dont quite have enough things to hurt myself over

i think the clarity comes suddenly, and thickly, hard to breathe and cloying in your throat, storm cloud hangs heavy and makes thoughts foggy and i think

“when did you get that big” as you stand in front of me and eclipse the setting sun.

the night (mare) is somehow the quietest and loudest its ever been as dead heartbeat pounds in my ears and you admit to things i never had the strength to do, my herculean little hero, my undermined precious stone,

(i found you in riverbeds among common rocks and you were so shiny in the nearly unnoticeable way but i have mastered just how to turn my wrist or head and see you shine, see you glimmer, my shooting star)

“when did you get that brave” as you look the unsavory parts (things) right in the eye and you look me (the thing) right in the eye and i know i fucked (past, current, fuck), up, know mistakes create spillage that soak into the good parts all blood blood life blood red and irremovable, irreparable, irrevocably changed.

i am the tightrope walker and death lies below like a snapping starving dog at my heals jumping to drag me down by the thin column of throat but you are at the other end of tightrope with hands outstretched (please don’t look down, please never look down and only to me.) and willing to touch me despite it all, despite everything. despite me.

i both treasure and loathe you but mostly i love you because you are love.

pained, dirty, imperfect, fragile yet worn, kind in every face of every monster yet hard when you shouldn’t be, when you needn’t be. care when you shouldn’t and fearful when you shouldn’t. confusing and confused.

darling, starlight, brother, every sparkling word i keep in my mind and not my mouth because you’d balk. (less funny more hurt more hurt.)

id say thank you but then you’d ask for what and im not quite sure what i’d say anymore. (stop saving me. you can’t keep trying to resuscitate dead things. save your hero complex necromancy for your own self.)

id say im sorry but then you’d say i shouldn’t be despite everyone involved knowing it to be a falsehood.

instead i will only love you like this. i will mime you in your entirety as we dance on bloody sands and trip over mistakes and scabbed over past, and dead things only mostly dead now, and we will point out shooting stars (stop asking why i keep looking at you.), let’s go now. let’s go

(i pick up the note that asks about things i hadn’t understood and i tuck it into memories of you and me and us and then, and now, and soon and i know it will be enough because you’ve always been enough and then some. too much, but just enough. just you.

just us.

you’re a good kid.)

[westanallthegays]

Writing 101 with your favorite queer (EDITED)

Writing is h a r d .

If you think writing is easy, then I'm going to ask you if you've ever WRITTEN A STORY BEFORE because clearly, you're oblivious af.

Writing isn't just w r i t i n g a s t o r y, it's late nights trying to figure out how the fuck to write this moment, it's sleep deprivation to puzzle this character over, it's scribbling ideas down, it's questioning whether your writing is GOOD or not and whether anyone would actually want to read it, it's staring at your google doc or word doc and thinking, "Is this worth it? Maybe I should just quit ahead of time."

It's so many things, but it's not fucking EASY.

Which is why I'm writing this post for y'all. Let's be clear, I don't know everything about writing. I'm in progress, still trying to figure shit out, but I thought I might share what I've learned with you through a very, very painful process.

So ✨here we go✨

One of the things about writing is that everyone has different methods. Here's mine. Use it or not. It's up to you.

I know a lot of people who don't plan their writing out are gonna be screaming at me, but I've found out that having at least a basic plan, if not the simplest plan EVER formed by just a few bullet points really helps.

I'll give you an example (which is miraculous themed because I'm pretty sure everyone at least KNOWS what miraculous is)

Marinette goes to school

Alya gushes to her about this "cool new girl" that has arrived

Marinette reaches school and discovers the new girl is Lila Rossi

shenanigans ensue. Adrien is the only one who isn't clueless. Lie la is a bitch, as usual (what is new?)

Okay, this example was pretty crappy, but you get the idea. It doesn't even have to be an exact copy of what's gonna happen in your story, just the general idea and a few more plot points. Doing this when I'm bored, whether in my sketchbook or on a google doc, really helps. For one, I can just write down a bunch of shitty ideas and later go through them and decide which ones are the least crappy to put in my fanfic.

I'm a planning person, but I don't go super crazy when planning out a chapter. I've heard of some people creating the most intricate plans EVER for their story, and well, sorry, but that just DOESN'T work for me. This method is a lot more simpler, and it's not totally crazy.

(hopefully)

Also, if you're writing a story based on a tv show or book series(*cough percy jackson *cough) Then I find it INCREDIBLY helpful to write down a list of all of the minor characters i want to include in my story, because let's be real, I'm pretty sure I'd forget after like a day.

And I've read too many stories with only the main characters and there being like one mention of a minor character. (*cough GROVER *cough)

So spare your innocent readers (not really) and use this method.

Welp, that's it! I'm sorry this ran on for so long guys, I had a lot to say and wanted to elaborate on it enough so that it made sense. If you actually read through this shit pile of a post, then TYSM IT REALLY MEANS A LOT.

Stay safe, don't fall into a deep, dark hole of depression that you can't get out of, and I'll see ya later~

EDIT:

Hi guys! It's been a few months since I stepped into the world of tumblr and wrote this post. After that i kinda forgot about tumblr with the existential crisis that is school and basic stress, so ....sorry bout that.

Thank you to the two people who liked this post, it means a lot <3

As usual, your girl is here to give some more tips that i learned over those few months i was incognito.

2. Brain dump, second draft, third draft, fourth draft...

I dont know if yall have heard of the brain dump in writing. I recently found about it when despertely researching ways to improve my crappy writing. Basically, a brain dump is when you take all of your ideas and write them down on paper or a google doc or whatever you use. I thought it was a pretty good idea, but i kind of already told you guys this with my previous tip above.

SO I REMODELED IT YOU'RE WELCOME

MY version is that you do a brain dump but in the form of a really messy, chaotic first draft. Write whatever you want using the ideas you have, and you dont even have to put proper dialouge. I find that i obsesse way too much over dialogue, so with my brain dump, i just leave blank spaces where the dialogue should be and put that in the second draft, which is a much more organized version of the brain dump.

THAT WAY, you can have all of your ideas down and begin to edit them into a slightly better piece of artistic creativity. I haven't tried this out myself, so im not sure how reliable it is. if you want to try this out, drop a comment telling me how it went.

Im pretty sure that's it. There isn't much esle to say, and im sure yall are familar with the "first draft, second draft" concept thingie so i dont have to explain that bit.

Again, sorry about my long absence. I would promise to do this more often, but im pretty sure i wont be able to keep that promise, so . . .

anyways, have a great day and ill see you soon (hopefully!)

:)

[samhainmade]

headcannon 001 - the journal 

somewhere in the scattered piles of clothing, odd shoes and messy floors of shona’s bedroom a little worn out, denim blue journal lives. shona cant remember the exact year it was purchased in, or why it was bought in the first place, only that its her biggest secret. those lined pages of scribbles and incoherent ramblings that came straight from her hollowed out black heart in her most shameful & darkest moments of need are tales shona would quite literally die to protect. 

on the outside the journal is worn and torn at the corners, the spine is bent and the entire book is discolored from years of neglect and sitting in sunlight. there’s foundation marks all over it , large chunks of the hard cover are missing and the string to mark the page had unraveled into a stump of fringe at the very top of the spine.  

inside some entries are dated, outlined and carefully written, exposing shonas true thoughts and feelings about certain events that have happened in her life. however most of the pages are smudged black in careless entries that have no rhyme or reason. most of those ones dont even include names or any significant information to tell you what was going on. 

there are pages unevenly torn out and entries completely scribbled over in black marker. some pages contain little doodles of trees, spiders, knives and wildflowers. other pages contain parts of poems or song lyrics and some have dried leaves, herbs & flowers pressed into them for safe keeping. there’s phone numbers written on random pages, names of bottles of beer or perfumes and a handwritten recipe for hash brownies onto the very back page. 

its falling apart at the seems, much like shona and is kept hidden very well underneath her sea of clutter. the most recent dated entry is from august 6th 2022

                                                          august 5th 2022 - this could be it?

fuck it, i have fucked up again. and its not even an easy fuck up this time. it wasnt an easy mistake to make or a stupid little mix up. i fucked UP. and when oz finds out he is going to kill me, burn me and dump my ashes in a fucking landfill. hoLY FUCK. he will kill barrett and luis and everyone ive ever spoken to. he will kill the vendors and the clients. im like should i fucking run away? no cause this asshole will 100% find me and make it a slow as fuck painful death. im so fucking afraid of him. he’s literally the most terrifying fucking person on this planet. NO ONE should have that much power. i dont even know how im gonna tell him i lost his fucking money. part of me wants to blame someone else but like... i cant lie to him. its not worth it. fuCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway. my head hurts. i am so doped out on cough syrup and vodka. ima do it. im gonna fucking tell him it was me. luis and barrett if you two bastards find this after im dead sTOP LOOTING MY SHIT. 

                                                                 august 6th 2022 

oh FUCK. so its sp much worse than i originally thought. i am crazy for the guy. i am incredibly and beyond FUCKED. like how you accidently fall for the literal devil?? fcccukkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. literally just kill me now before i get even more pathetic. he should have killed me. faUCKK MY LIFE ENTIRELY!!!!!!!!!!! 

[wwrityjess]

Your phone rings. This is the 44th time tonight. You didn't know she would take it this badly. You just said you needed some space, considering you just moved halfway across the country. She didn't like that you "decided" to move away from her, but it wasn't even your choice. You got a scholarship at a high-end college, you couldn't turn something like that down.

Your phone rings. This is the 45th time tonight. You knew she was a little obsessive, but it had never been this bad. There had been a few times where you caught her looking at your ex's social media, even though you had never told her any of their names. It was kind of creepy the first time, but you had gotten used to it by the fifth.

Your phone rings. This is the 46th time tonight. It's… your mom? You scramble to pick up your phone. You're too late, she went to voicemail. "Hey honey, your girlfriend came by just now. She said your phone might have been lost, so I decided to try calling you myself. If you find it again, you should call her back. She also asked for your new address, so I gave it to her. I'm surprised you hadn't given it to her yourself. Anyway, sleep well tonight baby!"

Your phone rings. This is the 47th time tonight. Why did your mom give your address away so easily? I mean, she was your girlfriend, but still. Your parents didn't know her that well. She had been over for dinner once, maybe twice. You found a photo album she stole from them a few days after. Some of the photos were missing. You found them months later in her closet, with hearts drawn around your face and any other people in the photos either scribbled out or burned away. You never returned that photo album.

Your phone vibrates. A message. "hey bby you wont pick up yr phone so im comin over to yr new place dont wait up for me :3c" What? It's at least a 9 hour drive from there to here. She can't be serious about coming over, can she? "i know u prob dont believe me so heres proof" A picture of the inside of her car. Your address has been set as the destination on her navigation. In the corner you can see a knife and rope on her passenger seat.

It's 9 hours before your (ex-)girlfriend arrives. You know you can't stop her. She is coming whether you call her or not. You really fucked it up this time. What do you do now? Just wait for her to arrive? Just let her in? Prepare breakfast for her? Talk it out? You don't think she'll be in a talking mood when she has just driven 9 hours because you wouldn't talk to her. Run away? No use, she won't give up that easily. Hide? She will tear you entire apartment to pieces to find you. Maybe sleep will clear your head. If you get a good 7-8 hours, you still have more than an hour to figure it out.

It's 8 hours before your (ex-)girlfriend arrives. You have trouble falling asleep. Your brain keeps making up scenarios of what will happen when she arrives. She'll stab you the moment she sees you. She's gonna tie you up and use you for her pleasure before stabbing you. She's gonna tie you up and drive the two of you off a bridge. You can't sleep like this. In your bathroom, you look in your medicine cabinet for your melatonin gummies. You take two, and then a couple more for good measure. You set an alarm on your phone for 7 hours from now.

It's 1 hour before your (ex-)girlfriend arrives. Your alarm rings. "Sleep well baby?" she whispers in your ear. You try to scream, but only a muffled sound comes out. You have been gagged. "Don't worry babe, nobody will hear us." she says while crawling on top of you. The knife shimmers in her hand as she lifts it up above her head. You try to push her off, but your hands are bound above your head. "Then again, nobody will be hearing from you ever again." she says as she thrusts the knife down. You close your eyes, anticipating the sharp pain in your chest. But it never comes. You cautiously open your eyes, the knife stopped mere millimeters from your chest. "Did you really think it would be that simple? That you would escape from me that easily?" she grins. Her teeth are surprisingly sharp, almost canine in nature. "I wouldn't use such an impersonal method. I want it to be much more INTIMATE." she says, lunging forward with her mouth agape.

It's 4 hours before your (ex-)girlfriend arrives. You jump up. It was just a dream. A nightmare. You take a few minutes to catch your breath. You grab a glass of water. After a couple more minutes you fall asleep again.

It's 1 hour before your (ex-)girlfriend arrives. At least, it should be. The doorbell is ringing. You look through the peephole. She's here. You cautiously open the door. "Hello sleepyhead, did you sleep well?" she asks with an innocent smile. "I've been standing at your door for five minutes already, I almost thought you hid from me or ran away or something." she laughs. You awkwardly laugh back. You did wanna hide from her or run away, she just arrived before you could. "Anyway," she pushes past you and walks inside. "We have something to talk about." she sits down on your bed and puts her bag on the ground. "D-do you want something to drink?" you stutter. She seems way too calm for someone who just did what she did. "Oh, I'd love a cup of tea right about now, babe." You hurry to the kitchen and turn the electronic kettle on. "While that's going, why don't you sit down next to me and we can talk, honey?" she pats the bed next to her.

You sheepishly sit down next to her, not wanting to give her any reason to freak out again. She puts her hand on your thigh. "Good. Now, why did you send me that mean message? Why did you say you 'needed space'?" she spits those words out with such vitriol as she grips your thigh. "I-I just thought t-that it might be b-better to stop dating if w-we live so far apart, is all." you stutter. You don't want to say anything that might piss her off. "I don't mean that we c-can't date again in the f-future if, I mean when I m-move back again." you let out a nervous chuckle. "See? That wasn't so hard now, was it, honey?" she loosens her grip on your thigh. "Now we can actually talk about solutions. If you think we can't date when we live so far apart, I'll just move out here with you." She grabs your hand. "Y-you would move out h-here?" Fuck. You had hoped she would see your point and leave you be. You didn't think she would move here to be with you. Her smile drops for a second before she quickly recovers. You think she might have sensed your disappointment.

The kettle turns off. "W-what kind of tea did you want, b-babe?" You say while grabbing two teacups. "Earl Gray." she says it so matter-of-factly while zipping open her bag. You start pouring. "Did you want a-anything with the tea, honey?" "No, I'm fine." She crept up on you, now standing right behind you. You feel a prick in your neck, and before you know it your head begins to spin. "Sleep tight, baby. I've got you." She whispers in your ear before you black out.

You wake up on the backseat of her car. You try to say something, but your mouth has been gagged. You try to move, but your arms and legs are tied together, and to each other. "Oh, you're awake, honey? Good timing, we're almost there." Almost where? Where is she driving you? As if she can read your mind, she replies "At my family's cottage in the woods, of course. Nobody comes here really, but my uncle has owned it for decades now. He asked the family to help fix it up a few years ago." You had forgotten about that, she was gone and busy all summer that year. You thought she might've been cheating, you just didn't buy the whole 'my uncle asked us to help fix up his abandoned cottage in the woods' routine.

"We're here!" She announces proudly. The car stops. You slide off the backseat and onto the floor due to how abrupt it was. "Oh, Honey…" she has opened the rear doors and is just standing there, giggling at the predicament you've found yourself in. She lifts you back onto the backseat. "Now, it's been a long and exhausting drive. If I free your legs, will you be good and walk inside with me?" you quickly nod your head, hoping to run the moment she helps you stand up. She cuts your legs loose with her knife. She grabs your arms and helps you out the car and onto your feet. You lunge forward, but your legs don't cooperate. You instead faceplant into the soft forest dirt. The stuff she dosed you with must still be in your system. "Aw, honey. Did you think I would cut you loose if you still had a chance to escape?" she whispers into your ear as she lifts you back up. As she opens the front door, she looks you in the eye and says "We're gonna live here together forever. And you're gonna love it, voluntarily or not."

[tary289]

500 Days

Fuck it tehe, i wrote this in like 20 minutes take it, its word vomit, and uber bad but i dont really care cause its like about to be 1 am and im still not tired, lots of twd referances cause i love that, judge me, be cruel, kinda wanna see how bad it really is, protagonist is unnamed cause im very bad at names.

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I woke from my slumber, like every other person. I checked my digital watch, and it read Wednesday, August 8th, 6:02 AM. The watch didn't say the year, but that was fine, as that information was not yet bygone to me. 

Mudi was still asleep next to me, my only friend while the world ended, he's such a good dog.

I rose from the comfort of my mattress and just lurked for a few minutes, eventually I heard Mudi rise too, and he came running for his food which I had already placed into his bowl. Today was day 500, a milestone if you will. I would be lost trying to tell how long it's been with just the watch, so I've been keeping track of money which now holds no value.

One day is one more penny into the tray, after five days the pennies are replaced with one nickel, after 10 days the nickels were replaced with one dime, 25 days and the two dimes and one nickel became a quarter and so on, I replaced the twin two dollar, three quarters, 2 dimes and four pennies with a five dollar bill. It's reminiscent of a collection basket I would witness go down the pew I sat in and when it reached me I would swiftly put in some pennies I dug up from the couch cushions at home. 

With a newfound wakeful mind, I collected my things and left out the door, Mudi shortly behind me. The birds greeted me with their songs as I and company went to the nearby river to collect fish, which I loathed. This life may keep me humble, and humble I've become. I used to loathe the taste of seafood, but now I look forward to it, although perhaps that's because of the lack of any other food.

I had a comfortable schedule, in the dawn I fished, not with a fishing rod. No, that's too tedious, I employ a sharpened pool cue, technically a spear. It's my instrument. But I still know not what my symphony is.

Time passed, bucket filled, legs waterlogged. It was time to return home. I’ll bore you not with details, I placed the fish into my makeshift salt box and continued on with my schedule.

Checking on the water collectors on the roof, and they were all fine and untouched, but I needed something to occupy myself with so I left to find something else. I could raid some more of the town, make my ever-growing collection of canned goods grinder, find some new literature, maybe some more clothes, medical supplies would be nice as I've only really found prescription drugs for some pain which I lack.

So with Mudi at my side we go into the small township which is Blackwood. I never knew this place before it all, it's funny how the end of the world caused me to migrate across the country. I always knew this town as devoid of people, just Mudi and I.

We spent the rest of the day going through buildings, collecting anything which could be of use, books, magazines, canned foods, clothes, medicine, alcohol (for when I'm of age of course), vinyls, a little bit of everything really. I finally found a vinyl I've been looking for, “Just the two of us” by Grover Washington. It was my parent's favorite, sadly I lack the necessary materials to play it but It's nice to have.

My day was done as the sun rested, the most important part of the day was upon me, messages to others. I lit the bonfire I constructed on my house's roof, stronger enough so it appears as a small orange glint in the distance from my fellow survivors. And after a few minutes, I saw those five specks appear in the distance. 

The paper with Morse code scribbled onto it in my hand I signaled “SAFE” and I received the same message from the five other lights. Why did we not meet up? Perhaps to not disrupt the life we have cultivated with the complication of others? That's why I remain here, at least.

I put out my fire after cooking dinner, charred lake fish, I put out the fire and saw the other specks disappear. Mudi and I ate on the roof of the warehouse now home, gazing into the stars beyond us.

Then a rumble, Mudi bolts down the stairs of the open door into the safety of our home, I look above and there it is, one of those things, I still don't know if they have an official name but I've dubbed them Drifters, they come and go at random intervals, I've grown used to them, well giant hunks of metal floating in the sky will always be an oddity. They do not bother me as much as they used to.

I kind of like watching them now, as they drift into a destination beyond my sight below the horizon. Though I decide to call it a night, it's spaghetti Thursday tomorrow, just need to find some spaghetti.