#this was from a few weeks ago but i was looking thru my pics...

[bivampirism]

thinking about becoming full of myself a little bit. i’ll keep u posted

[somuchyoudontknow]

Take it with a big grain of salt...

I had this dream two weeks ago. I didn't post it because I wasn't sure if it could be true or not but the energy of the dream seemed too real to me. I discussed it with some of my friends and I decided to wait for a few days and if I get some signs I might post it to warn people what might be coming next. People who have followed me from the beginning know I have always said that this PR would not go down to a fake engagement but I think it might be coming.

The dream:

"I saw myself and a few Tumblr friends preparing some gifts for Chris. I saw my friends going to Chris' house to deliver them to him. Megan is standing in front of the house and the house is locked and my friends were informed no one was allowed to meet Chris. Megan took the gifts with the promise that the gifts would be delivered to him. Megan then handed them a wedding invitation for Chris and Alba. It was made of clear glass and the wording was etched on it. The etched wording was painted in red color. My friends returned with great disappointment. I believed the wedding was happening since the wording was etched. Most of the fans left since almost everyone believed it was real. A few fans stayed and we kept watching Chris' house. Although the house was locked but we somehow got photos that Chris and Alba were staying separately and they had no contact. It seemed odd to us why they were staying separately in the house and were not allowed to talk and be in contact although they were getting married. We never saw them out of the house together. We saw all the wedding preparations for days. Oddly the preparations that we saw were happening in the air above the house. It seemed like an illusion but we believed it. This seemed to continue for three months and then the preparations stopped. After a few days the gate of Chris' house was opened, we were all allowed to see inside his house. He was alone. Alba was not there and we were surprised to find there was no sign that indicated she ever stayed there. The wedding did not happen.

Interpretation:

I discussed this dream with many friends. Some of my intuitive friends agree that the dream holds meaning and it is possible they might take this shitshow to the next level and it might include fake engagement.

A very good and wise friend thinks the dream could be symbolic and we might never get any kind of fake confirmation. She also thinks we are already in the end process since at the end rumors double down. The dream is symbolic and it represents the overall situation happening right now. Here's her interpretation:

"Two separate people. Alone, in different places. Megan is running the show. She's the one giving out the information (as she runs pr). Its telling a story to people, that they're a couple. That they're living their lives this way. Yet, they are separate and distinct. And he's going be with it, as he's hands off it all. Yet, people can see right through it. It may say one thing: "wedding! Couple in love 💕!" But people see right through it. They look at the pics of the pap walk, and go: these folks hate each other and he doesn't want to touch her?!🤦‍♀️ So, despite what the words may say, people see right thru it. All that work and preparation was like a puff of smoke. It was all fake. Then, it was done, and she was gone. Which she actually was, all along. Interesting. Maybe it's not literal?🤷‍♀️🤔 Maybe it is? Either way, it shows us what it's been like, all along, which is fascinating!!

The glass invitation shows people can see right through. They can figure out what is true and false. Glass can also be broken. It seems like a reality that has been created and it can be shattered easily."

My interpretation is we might be getting some kind of fake confirmation that they are getting married.

Glass in dreams has many different meanings. Glass is generally a symbol of clarity, fragility delicacy, reflection and transparency. It can also represent an illusion. Glass objects can represent issues that are sensitive about total embarrassment. Something in your life that is beautiful to notice, but easily destroyed by carelessness. It can also reflect the sensitive ability to "shatter" hopes or expectations. Feelings about dangerous handling a sensitive issue. If you are peering through a glass represents your innate capacity to see through people’s facades and discern the truth. You are not easily led astray or influenced in the actual world. Glass can also be associated with feelings of being exposed to the public or being on display. This can be linked to feelings of vulnerability and being judged. Seeing glass in a dream can be an indication that the dreamer needs to take a step back and get a better understanding of their situation before taking action. glass can also be associated with feelings of being exposed to the public or being on display. This can be linked to feelings of vulnerability and being judged. Seeing glass in a dream can be an indication that the dreamer needs to take a step back and get a better understanding of their situation before taking action.

Since glass can have dual meaning, it can represent clarity and it can also represent the ability of the people to see right through the facade and illusion, I think many people are going to believe something that might happen in this shitshow is proof that it is real. Etched means it would be made believable. The color red is an aggressive force associated with great passion and emotional power. It also represents impulsiveness, rage and intense anger. I think if they provide some kind of announcement, it will be met with great anger. The backlash would be great. Big humiliation might be coming for Chris.

Very few will be left who would see right through the illusion that has been built up. There will be chaos everywhere. I think the biggest proof that can make many fans to believe it is real will be an article in the People Magazine. It could be any other thing but I personally think if People publishes an article saying they have sources confirming they are engaged, it will be a deal breaker for many people. Some fans would not believe it and still call it fake.

There will be many rumors about the wedding preparations but we might never get anything directly from Chris or Alba. The dreams and visions that I published a while ago, I had a dream where Chris said no to some kind of photoshoot. I think if he was asked about having photos, he declined. I think there will be no photographic or concrete proof of this fake wedding arrangement.

There will be a lot of trolling and most of the fans will either leave or become haters. Every rumor will probably involve info from "sources" and no direct proof. It will continue for three months June- August. In September they would get quiet and before October or mid of October, it will be wrapped up.

I needed a few signs if this dream could have some meaning or not. The first sign for me is Wild Bunch buying Portuguese movies and promoting them. There is no release date for Amelia's Children and if Wild Bunch has to promote their Portuguese movies, what other great way would be to promote a Portuguese actress using a PR relationship with a well-known American actor.

The second sign for me has been Justin's dad's deleted FB comment.

This situation is very similar to Elsa posting the Pumpkin photos before Chris did. In a similar way a team real blog was informed about Elsa's profile pics. What happened next? That thing was used by the articles to speculate Chris and Alba were dating. Elsa also deleted the pics. We spent days trying to understand what was the purpose of it and called it trolling. Alba's side trolls but sometimes not everything is a result of trolling but rather a carefully dropped breadcrumb that is used later to move this shitshow forward. Same thing happened with Chris' charity video. fans found out he was in PT. In both cases, articles used "fans' detective work" to publish articles about their relationship.

In this PR, social media and fans are used very cleverly to create a narrative and move it forward.

I hope I am wrong about my interpretation and way of thinking and I hope no such thing happens but I had decided to myself if I get signs I would put out a warning for everyone to prepare their minds for the worst thing to happen. I am not trying to create panic here or stress out anyone. I believe it is 100% PR and everything is fake about this relationship. I just think they might go down to a fake engagement announcement sort of thing. I hope I am wrong. Please don't take anything that I am saying as a fact. It is just my intuition and way of thinking and I can be wrong. Please take everything with a grain of salt.

[royaltrios]

here's some notes on my recent chsc: what you're missing

-since i published as needed as last year's snow in january, i've been busy trying to graduate and not had any time to read or write or even really think about genshin. then i visited our chsc server friends for a few days beginning of june and i came back and haven't stopped writing since

-on the drive up me and taho spent most of the two hours yapping about chsc, and it was lovely but also extremely extremely strange for me to hear someone praise my writing irl. im genuinely just stumbling through word documents like a bow-legged fawn so

-starting back up with writing this summer i started working things out on physical paper in a notebook. its actually been really fun/feels different than notes app/sticky note-ing it. i still did use sticky notes for puzzling out intricacies of the smut tho (and then proceeded to pretty much use none of it) i'll attach a pic of my notes here for fun even though its slightly horrifying to do

-like most of my fics ive had this one waiting in the wings for a while, basic premise though was just 'chsc first time happens after scara backhands childe in front of people and childe gets very horny about that'. wrote it over about two weeks, fight scene fucked me up until i just locked in and wrote all of it at once at 2am. spent a while rearranging the smut then sent it to pachi to beta, forced myself not to look at it during those days, got it back and made isolated edits and was too embarrassed to read the smut i wrote 2 weeks ago again so i just posted it. hope its ok

-i always always always have trouble with scara during harbinger era. its because im a chronic overexplainer/overjustifier for characters getting together. for his actions during that time i lean on the little tiny bit we ever saw of it and that's mostly abrasiveness... but you gotta pull on how wanderer acts/ his backstory a bit too to like really see where hes coming from at that point in the story. halfway thru writing i realized he wouldnt act the way i was imagining him acting, had to fix that, then had to tweak the rest of the fic

-basically; i think childe would accept that he has a thing for scaramouche without too much thought. he's into mean people who're older than him + match his freak. he goes towards what makes him feel good. scara on the other hand i think... he immediately justifies the pull he feels as 'childe's stupid enough that i can use him'/'he worships me without being told'. this is a guilty pleasure for both of them until they realize its not (which is what i hoped to set up by beginning it with their abyss connections-- they're alike from the very beginning and they're both being used in different ways) <- i talked to pachi some in the middle of writing and it helped me puzzle out what chsc would be feelin a bit more. ty dr pachi phd in childe characterization

-had to have like multiple tabs open of bible's rgg pwp fics as emotional support. i filtered fics tagged 'cunniligus' in my bookmarks more than once. i was floundering. 90% of what i write or consider writing is E rated but i don't actually get much fulfillment out of describing smut. however i kind of tried really hard here bc i know thats what 99% of people are reading this for and even though i hate when i have to write the words scaramouche and clit directly next to each other i ended up pretty proud of the smut here.

random favorite bit:

“Well, it—” Childe's hips buck up into Scaramouche's fist. With a strained expression across his face and in a tone that sounds a little too genuine, he says, “feels kinda... different, since it's you." It's as bold-faced and earnest as anything else he's heard Childe say. But it's a sort of confirmation that Scaramouche was hoping to avoid—whilst simultaneously enjoying dancing around it. Stupid to give him this much leeway, this much permission, and not expect the guy who does everything else with the ruthlessness and loyalty of a hunting dog not to extend that to this.

i liked this bc i felt like i managed to nail down scara realizing he might've bit off more than he can chew without disrupting the smut. and childe + dog metaphor + shaky earnest confessions + L + ratio

-my penchant for having characters write letters in fic returns (almost as bad as my thing with inserting flashbacks in the middle of stuff) (i like first person but i dont like it in fic so this is the only way i can do it)

-looped teenage dirtbag (title + captured how i was trying to play childe here) (friend told me recently the singer of wheatus went to hs around where we grew up?), against the kitchen floor by will wood (taho's doing), some high energy 2000s stuff while revising the fight scene, my age gap oriented pl + will stetsons rabbit hole cover during the smut

i'll leave whoever reads this with a teenage dirtbag induced write-up i did to try and work out why i ended up liking the title i chose so much:

what you're missing-- what you're letting pass you by. what you don't have by not looking at me, what you'll want back in the future. what you don't have by not having me. what you've been trying to find, to grasp. what you didn't know you were missing.

[horce-divorce]

Update for interested parties: the last few days were frought, the situation in Wisconsin was not what we had hoped it would be at all once we got here, and it ended up not working out. Too many people with not enough space and too many clashing needs. it ended up feeling very unsafe for everyone.

We're staying with a different friend instead now, and today their mom/owner of the property not only said we could stay here for the winter if we need to, but also was scheming to try and find us a pop-up trailer this morning which we were totally blown away by, she's wonderful. We still want the kind of mobility where we could take off again at a moments notice, so I'm sorting that out, but we're with friends and thankfully not in a rush to leave again anytime soon.

i'm not sure if a camper is what we'll end up with. It isn't quite as stealthy as i'd like (if we need to urban camp at all it doesnt really work), but it would certainly add a lot of space and be more than doable, and Bel really liked the idea. If that doesn't work out, I'll look at trading our current vehicle for a used camper van in a comparable price range. I've never done that before but I have time to do research.

Thanks to the donations this week, we were able to fill the tank and get Bels meds on the way out here, which was such a huge relief. That gives us at least another month to try to find a prescriber for another refill. We also got a great haul from the food pantry out here, which was fun because the lady we're staying with actually runs it and it's inside an abandoned building.

the pantry was already in the building when it wasn't abandoned. my friend's mom took it over and was allowed to keep it in its original space, but everyone else moved out. My friend had the keys, so they took us in thru the back and this series of totally unlit, crowded corridors with random appliances, furniture, books and clothes, all of it donated. it was one of the most surreal experiences I've ever had. I asked to go back to take more pictures, which is why the 2nd pic is lit better.

Their house is also really cool. It's an old farmhouse, much bigger, with fewer people here, and we have a proper room upstairs rather than in an unfinished basement. there's a super comfy bed in here, too. I actually haven't had back pain in the morning here, for the first time since my surgery in May!

Also, absolutely wild shit in the world of drugs: nary a weed dealer to be found in this area, because delta 8 has completely taken over the market. I was deeply unimpressed when I tried it a few years ago, but my friend got us a live resin hhc/cbd/cbg/thcp cartridge and........... I am stoned. Like PROPERLY stoned. I haven't been this properly stoned since like 2013. It does kinda give me a headache, but it also helps the pain and gives me munchies and helps me sleep just like real weed. I even remembered my dreams a bit better than with d9.

Anyway I'm very grateful for my queer community today, for my friends mom who has come to my rescue more times than my own mom, and for everyone who's been invested, sending us money, advice, locations to scope out, items, and links; everyone who's been reblogging; and even everyone who's just listening to us talk and post, watching quietly from the sidelines.

We still have to go retrieve the rest of our stuff from the last place (on Monday), and things always change in an instant. We still have a lot of complex feelings, and this week was especially hard for Bellamy. He's never been through all this before this year, and the 19th was the anniversary of his worst trauma, losing the only good and loving person in his life 6 years ago. To be kicked out specifically on that anniversary was brutal. it made me wish I'd never brought him here. I really thought we'd be better off with that friend than on our own for the winter, and I made a mistake.

But we will still be okay. For now, we aren't alone, we're with good friends in a safe place, we've got food and meds and gas. We even have another place to stay if we change our minds. We check in with each other and process our feelings multiple times per day. It's still hard to get used to coming and going all the time; we stay in one place just long enough to get comfy and then we take off again, which is never long enough form a routine. So we're trying to learn how to do that for ourselves, based on our own needs, rather than around the location. But we're getting used to that, and each other's habits. When I go out to the car for supplies it smells like home in there.

It's hard feeling like we don't belong anywhere, like strangers care more about our wellbeing than our actual families. My dad did give us the car, and six months of insurance. He even renewed my license for me. But neither of my parents checks in on me, asks where we are or how we're doing. My mom seems to be getting more reactionary in her old age; not only did my transition cause a rift between us, she's now doubling down on trying to "cure" my autistic cousin when she knows that for both of us (and for Bel), our autism is a source of pride. She knows my disabilities and neurodivergence are what started this housing instability 10 years ago. She knows my health has been worsening. She doesn't text or call. All of you following this story on here know more about how and where we are than she does.

But times like this show us who our real friends and family are, and it's not the people who've left us to our own devices out here. It's everyone who's been stepping in to ask, "How are you doing? Can I send you anything? Do you need to talk? I love you. I want you to make it." The random guy we met hiking who never told us his name but who told us, "I hope you guys thrive. I really do." It's everyone who's sent us another $10 for our supplies because I haven't spent long enough in one spot to get any work done. It's the people who have never even met us before who offered to take Bel's cats indefinitely, or to let us come stay with them across the country. It's everyone who's pitching together to buy us more time when we need it. Everyone who sees us and bears witness and feels something about it.

At the end of the day, we sort of are choosing this lifestyle; if we wanted out, we would have to stay in one place longer than winter, get jobs, save money, find our own housing. But we kind of don't. Despite the hardships, despite what this journey is revealing about ourselves and the people we thought we could trust, we feel like it suits us to live out of the car. We go where we want, when we want. We don't have to answer to anyone else's schedule. If we want to go south or west when it's cold and visit our friends, all we need is the gas money and the OK to come over. We love the woods and we love living out there. It feels distant and lonely sometimes, but so right. We like getting to bounce around and meet each other's people. We want to see the old growth and the redwoods and the mountains and the seaside and the grand canyon. We want to go to Cuba and Vietnam and Iceland and Denmark. Maybe our health won't allow for us to do absolutely everything we want, but working underpaid jobs and paying rent absolutely won't allow for it. We have a better chance at our dreams now. We can lose our place to stay again and be fine and just keep going; it's not the end of the world. It's what we planned on doing, anyway. No big deal.

Living in the car has already allowed us to do more and have more adventures in just 3 months than we did in 2 whole years of us both being housed. We do have a lot to process emotionally and there's a lot on our plates; it's hard, and we do need a lot of help. It's not always good. Not having access to the internet when we're running out of money and gas and food; not having anywhere to bathe; having to go long distances to collect water even when we're not feeling well; losing things because i put them in the wrong place and drove off; that doesn't even begin to scratch on converting the car for stealth camping, choosing our routes and places to scope for campsites in new areas, or trying to figure out which supplies would actually be more helpful and cost effective in the long run.

But it's still not really any worse than the rat race to stay employed and be good renters. It's just different. And after 10 years of housing instability, and waiting for something to change, it hasn't. I'm growing more and finding more peace by just leaning into it. Trauma and bullshit never ends. Life doesn't ever stop for you so you can think about what just happened; there's never gonna be a perfect, calm time for you to digest everything and then move on strengthened and changed for the next main event. You have to learn how to do all that and keep living no matter what bullshit is ongoing. That's what "rolling with the punches" means. The punches dont stop, you learn to expect them, you move with them. I cant put my life on hold just because I'm homeless. It's not stopping me from doing the things I want. It's not stopping me from being the kind of guy I aim to be, or from making the kinds of choices i want. My life before did that.

Tl;dr thank you for all your help and concern this week, we made it to a different space and are taking some time to breathe. We are feeling more than a bit bruised, this week has been awfully triggering, but we also feel very held right now and we have space to calm down. For another few days at least, it's gonna be okay.

✨️🛸✌️

[equinista]

Just a very brief introduction post....as I felt some sort of intro was a bit needed and this little one will make do, for now! (The photos I really want to share of me riding, especially showing and jumping, are on my laptop that I don't feel like digging out and charging up right now, so these very few pics i have on this PC, my very new/few months old gaming PC that I actually built myself! more about that, and my PC's specs, another time! are the only ones I have access to at the moment) My name is Jenn. I am an ancient human specimen (lol, I am 35 but we can all agree I am ancient lmfao) who just happens to look more like someone either in their late teens or early 20's, dependent on the time of day and how bad my Fibromyalgia/chronic pain is flaring up...and how long I have spent being "house-bound" as an agoraphobic with severe social anxiety... Also, I am stupid-short, at only 4'11" which adds to me looking much younger. I live in South east Florida, aka the depths of humid hell. Which sucks cause I get severely heat-sick and can't handle temps above, like, 80 degrees. I have been riding all my life. My mom owned and rode horses all her life, so horses have been apart of my life from the start and I am so thankful for that. I grew up riding Western only, cause that was the only way my mom rode and owned my first horse at age 11 (an ex-polo "pony", a 16 hands bay TB mare) And since her I have owned about 10 different horses thru-out my life. I used to barrel race/pole bend and compete in western Gymkhana events so much so that I became burn out on them and when I turned 18 I switched to riding English and learned how to jump and never looked back really. I do still ride western for fun, even barrel race for fun but English and Hunter/Jumper and Equitation and showing are my absolute EVERYTHING.

I currently own 1 horse. An chestnut AQHA mare (AQHA name: DOJ A Roxi Leo Lady) and barn name is Roxi. She is still VERY green and only last month was her first EVER ride under an English Saddle! And I am looking so forward to out future together. She really means the world to me and love her whole heartedly. <3 I have only owned her for a few months now (My previous horse, Hawk-who I will share photos of later, who I owned for over 2 years and loved very much was dealing with more issues than I could physically deal with. He needed to be ridden and worked with DAILY and with my chronic Illness I was just not able to give him the time he needed. He was given to me by my barn owner/trainer/best friend on a contract that i couldnt sell him but she would take him back if ever need be and we came up with a great solution-she took Hawk back and instead gave me her AQHA mare that she felt would be way better for me as she is the type of horse who you can go weeks or more between rides and she acts as if she were ridden every day-she just picks right back up where you left off without any sanity issues or impulsive outburts out of no where like Hawk would pull. It broke my heart as I loved Hawk dearly but sadly not every horse will be a perfect match-but I did try for over 2 years so i deff didn't give up easily. ) The first 4 photos are of me and Roxi. Then last 2 photos are of different horses. The one of me barrel racing is me with the last barrel horse I owned, back when i first turned 18 (AQHA mare: Goldie Dandy Doll aka Victory) and the other photo is of me riding an amazing OTTB gelding named Luxe who I actually was leading for a while about 4 years ago. That was longer than I thought I would make it but it's hard to explain one part without the others. And still there is SOOO MUCH more I left out. It's a novel really, my life.

[inez]

experimenting with fake eyebrow slits and kim possible lips

[fantasticpokie549]

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[stanharu]

beastars episode 20 thoughts!

lots of mixed feelings about this one

this week's ep covers chapters 68, 70, 79, and 80. overall, it was fun to watch, and i enjoyed seeing some of my fave non-legosi and louis focused moments of this arc animated, but adaptation-wise i feel like this was one of the weaker episodes of this season.

im glad we got to see the side story about sheila and peach animated. i was really afraid it would get cut. i really enjoyed the shots of the wider world of beastars. though i do wanna mention that coming off of last week's ep, which was quite dark and explored how fucked up riz is, this week's ep starting with such a lighthearted story feels a lil offputting. the tones don't really match and im sure for bingewatchers it'll be really strange.

girls❤️

moving on, we finally get to see legosi's training! i really enjoyed this scene. gouhin unceremoniously throwing legosi off the balcony was really funny sjlkdjflgkdjf

next!!! the junoharu chapter!!! animated at last!!! this scene made me so happy. haru is so cute i took a million screenshots of her. though i will say it's been a common issue in this season that there are many small moments in the manga that just do not seem to have the same impact in the anime.

this scene would be another example of that, imo. i think it could've been played up a lil more

lastly, louis and the shishigumi visit the hyperdrug business. sadly, i was a bit disappointed with how the anime handled this scene. it felt like it was over too soon. i think there's similar issues with this scene as the salad scene a few weeks ago. in the manga we can see that louis feels a range of emotions at ibuki being considerate of him, but in the anime louis just seems kinda mad/annoyed by it.

i just feel like this moment did not hit as hard emotionally in the anime as it does in the manga. which makes me real sad bc i love this scene a lot. i wish the anime lingered a lil longer in this scene and played it up some more. also look at louis' baby hand compared to ibuki's dflsjdkljf

wow 😳

i think ibuki & louis' moment on the balcony did a lil better tho. also i rly like this shot

lastly... i want to express some concerns ive had that've been growing as the anime as progressed. as manga readers will know, there are a couple of key scenes between legosi and louis that have not happened in the anime yet. specifically chapters 66 and 75/76. i have a feeling these moments are gonna be squished together in the anime but the fact that both of these scenes are coming way later in the story than when they did in the manga worries me about how the anime may handle them, we're already running into some pacing issues. like, i honestly wouldnt have minded if the sheila and peach vignette got cut if it meant there'd be more time to do the legosi and/or louis focused moments right.

ive been marking which chapters the anime covers in each episode, and this week's episode pulls from chapters from 3 different volumes.

it's just a lil wild to me. and on the other side i've marked the giant chunk of volume 9 that's been skipped over for the past few weeks.

thats's like... half the volume.

not to mention that based on the previews for next week's ep it seems like the story is still marching steadily thru volume 10, chapters 75/76 whomst? also jpn fans have been speculating about an anime original scene between louis and ibuki based on one of the pics from the preview. which, given the pacing issues that've already been pointed out, worries me more about the stuff that's been skipped atm and the finale sjdflksjldkjf

idk, i may be thinking too much about all this and it'll work out somehow. im trying to hold out hope that studio orange will still be able to do these scenes justice, but we'll just have to wait and see.

[wellthatwasaletdown]

“U know we can hate harry and admit something without being a harrie, right? All his works r half assed but he is a workaholic. An anon said few months ago that he's even more overworked than he was in 1d and I agree with that. Just look at this year and u'll see how true that is. Most musicians released an album and barely promoted it. From January thru the pics we have seen of him: he has been shooting dwd, Eternals rehearsed and performed at the Grammy's, went to London and shot my policeman, attended Brits, went to Italy for shoots, 1 week vacation, came back to do 42 for 3 months straight, pleasing photoshoot, went to London to reshoot my policeman and is coming back to America perform a show. This is we have seen directly. If he has an album ready, they within this time he wrote and recorded an album, gave magazine interviews for it, and will be shooting music videos for it before doing live promo. And any other photos we see of him is either he's jogging or coming out of gym. So yah it's fine to admit that he's a workaholic and health conscious. That's why I never understood why directioners think that the boys were overworked that's why harry wanted the hiatus. Coz clearly overworking isn't Harry's problem.”

That’s because of Covid. If Covid didn’t happen, all of these things would have been spread out, and Harry would have taken a lot more vacation time. And imo I think fine line owes a lot of its success to the pandemic. So, he probably wouldn’t have won a Grammy or a Brit either. He would’ve toured in 2020 and then taken time off, and then film MP at the beginning of this year. He filmed dwd because he couldn’t tour when he wanted and he needed to stay relevant. Eternals he technically filmed at the end of 2019, and they called him back because they cut him out of the main film, and reshot the end credits scene. After MP he would’ve worked on his album for two years as he did for fine line. The reason he’s so busy this year is cuz he has no choice. All of the things he had scheduled got shifted to this year. I feel like people forgot that after HS1 Harry took a long ass break, and he would’ve followed the same pattern after fine line. Covid caused a lot of changes. When people call celebs workaholics, I just can’t cuz most ordinary people don’t get nearly as many vacation days as Harry styles or any other celebrity and have to work a 9 to 5 job. I still think when they were in 1D they were more overworked than what any of them are experiencing as solo artists. Mainly because they made an album and toured consecutively for 5 years. They release an album every two to three years now.

.

[instantlyexhaustedowl]

"He was my first love... And only one."

Summary:

Old photos, one old love and two not that old twins. A bit of talking after Weirmaggedon. Stan listening to his bro-bro memories about college lover.

Notes:

Please be kind to me, it's my first fanfic in English and also my first fanfic i have ever posted.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28580418

Ford was nostalgically sorting old photoes. Wrinkled paper gently rustled in his weary hands. All those memories, forgotten things with distand feeling of lost love, whole past in his worn out hands. "Ya look sad, bro," Stan's voice broke the silence of Ford's room. His twin was looking at him with curious brown eyes covered with thick glasses. He leaned on the doorframe.

Older twin  smiled sligtly, running his polydactyl hands thru grey hairs. Fingers touched silver stripe that cut thru dark grey hairs. He felt suddenly old and exhausted. "Just... Overthinking past, i guess." He patted spot on the sofa next to himself, showing that companion is welcome.

"Pics?" asked carefully Stanley. His mind was still a bit wobbly, but he remembered nearly everything. Definitely good sign. Stan sheepishly sat next to Ford on the sofa. Old matress swayed under his weight and caused, that Ford leaned a bit agaist Stan's shoulder. "What? Oh, yeah... Pictures. Old ones." said author of the journals with sigh while his hands gently folded photos on the lap. "Hehe, 'm probably not in your colection,...  Hey that one... that guy looks cute," chuckled his brother. He pointed at picture of tall smiling boy, maybe a bit older than twenty-one. Long sand blond hair, big blue eyes brightly shining with happines were hinding partly behind small round glasses. That noodle nerd had two daysies tucked behind his ear, big smile on his face. He looked like hippie college student. "Yeah... Fantastic old friend of mine. Wait! It...He is a man. Why do you think he is cute?" suddenly asked Ford. Stan was ladies man. Why he would think something like that?! Stanley blushed. His eyes wondered over room. Now seemed every piece of furniture like super interesting. "Ehh...No comment?" "No Stanley. We should be more honest with each other. We spend enought of our time pushing each other away. I just want to know why do you think that. No judgement, only curiosity." Old man mumbled something. Then he scooted away from Ford. Scietinst seemed a bit concerned. His brother was always the one who wanted to feel the others presence, but this was different. He was suddenly so shy. Ford like physical contact too but only from persons he loved and liked. Stanley was different- he loved patting peoples shoulder, hugging them even thou they were strangers. His attention was like contact sport. And sometimes it could change into one when that person made him angry. Ford's attention thou. It was more about reading between lines. "Pardon, Lee? I didn't understand." "I said... That i dated men too," sighed Stanley. His fingers were twiching. Eyes were trying to burned thru the floor into the heart of the Earth. He made himself look tiny. Whole body curled into himself. Ford's mouth formed into small silent "oh". "'m sorry... Gonna vanish, don't worry." "Are you crazy, Lee?! No vanishing, no going away." "But..." it was strange. Stanley could brake a montain with bare hands and now... He looked so vulnurable. Like scared teen he once was- standing outside in the middle of warm spring night hoping that Ford could forgive him. "But 'm nothing just familly disapointment. Stupid big idiot and even gay..." "If you say it one more time, i will punch you. Without warning! You are not disapointment! You are my best friend i have ever had and best twin brother i could wish for!" "Poindexer, i am weird old fag!" "Probably not. And that is absolutely horrible word, do not use it, please! You did loved Carla, hm." "And some other girls..." admited Stanley with blush of embarassment. "So you are bisexual. You like both." "'m not picky type," shrugged younger brother with hint of smile. He seemed more comfortable now. Hands put on his knees, eyes still sticked to the ground but he didn't look like persone who wanted to crawl under the rock and stay there for next few milleniums. "I am fag... At least that would Pa called me... If he had knew about it..." "That explains lots of things... And highschool," mumbled Stan scooting back so they shoulders touched again. "Pardon me?!" shrieked Ford. "You were curious only about science. And why girls didn't talk to you! Nothing was about girls, only why they kept ignoring you," explained Stan. Ford blinked few times, his face making pretty good impression of confuesed owl. Stanley was smugly smiling: "I've knew the whole time that you are not straight. 'm glad that Pa never knew about it thou. He would kick ya out too, maybe beat ya...Ya would never make it out unharm, on the streets..." "You were the one that ended up there... I can not forgive myself," two big tears started to roll down. Ford tried to dry them with his sleeve. "Poindexter, let it be. We are here, we are good..." "And gay," added Ford with tiny smile. Roaring of Stan's laught filled the room: "YEAH, we are gay! SO ... Who was that cutie? First crush?" His eyebrows wiggled in devilish way. "First crush, first love and only one. He took my heart without asking and never gave it back..." His brother wrapped arm around his shoulders. "You are old sappy man, Ford." "I know. I... Everything could be so different." "What happened?" asked younger twin. He hated seeing Ford depressed. "First time he went back to his family, after a while he had one too. And later when we found each other... Portal happened." "Sixer! I ... I caused...! Did I....?" Stanford grabbed old photos. He hold them on his chest, close to his fast-beating heart. "It was my fault, we had huge arguement and split up. I should have listened to him, but i was the biggest idiot on this Earth!" Stanley suddenly gasped. "You were dating McGucket?! Old man MCGUCKET?! Oh holy hot Belgian waffles!" "Kids aren't home," snarkyly pointed out Ford still carressing his pictures. "In that case- FUCK!" Small smile crept on scientist's face. "May i tell you a story, Lee?" asked Ford. He looked way younger now. Shy blush on his cheeks, still a bit teary eyes behind glasses. But they were light up with memories. "Yep, ya nerd. I haven't heard romantic novel for a long time! Ok i saw one last night. But i want to hear yar romance," beamed happily Stan and made himsleft comfortable. He was now sprawled on sofa, legs streched infront of him, hands folded on his soft belly. "So...Tell me yar fairytale, bro-bro." "Lee you are so silly," nudged Stan's elbow Ford playfully. "Fine. Long time ago... Ok, i am really getting old and silly. We were college roomates. I liked him first time i saw him. He was true opposite of me. Emotinal, empathic, wonderfully talented. His genius was amazing. After a while we got closer and closer. Fidds was so carring, nearly motherly. You should saw him when i was ill. I phoned dad, that i needed some money... to see a doctor, cause i felt really awful. He... shouted at me- to be a man and sleep it off. So i tried it. And fainthed during one of our classes we had together. Fidds did knew what to do, he took care about me. Got me to our room, helped in bed where i stayed for next week barely knowing about world. I don't remember much, my fever was too high. All seemed like a dream. After i got better i found him sitting on the window frame. His eyes were looking into starry night, silently crying. He was aftraid about me whole week and...He finally snapped... We started dating few days later." Ford had tears on his cheeks while he hold old pictures like precious treasure. His hands were clutching them, only gems he had from his past. Someone knock on the door frame. Fiddleford Hadron Mcgucket stood there. He was dressed in jeans, silly shirt with watermelons and drinks on it. He had crazy bowler hat with daisy that kept danggling. Still with beard that could belong to the oldest wizzard in the Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons, but under it was hidden smile. "I swear Stanferd, ma biggest mistake was leaving ya. And i fool made it twice!" Stanley looked at them with squint eyes trying to seem like he fall asleep. "Stop foolin' us, ya'r great conman, but that's horrible try," laugh Fidds hopping on the sofa from Ford's free side. He covered one six-fingered hand with his small one. They fitted perfectly, like two pieces of puzzles. Maybe their hands were a bit cold, but hearts were still aflame with passion and love. "I guess now i've to keep an eye on two nerds," sighed Stanley. "Have fun ya two, i am gonna go to... Don't know. Want a coffee?" "Yeah we will join you," smiled Ford when Fiddleford hugged his waist. "Yej, coffee is great idea pals!" "Gentlemen, we will have gayffee party!" clasped his big hands Stanley and went to the kitchen, chuckling because he liked that new horrible pun. Ford froze a bit and then shouted: "Do not tell this term in front of Mable! Or we all end up covered in rainbow glitters! I don't mind them but i certainly don't like to drink them with my coffee!" "WHO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT RAINBOW GLITTEEEEEERS???????!" "Mabel, calm down! Honey, put that bottle of rainbow disaster down!"

[vminamjin]

50 questions tag

I was tagged by these two lovelies, Nat and Asha! Thank you @flowerkth and @exoticarmyofcrowns ☺️💕🌸

what color is your hairbrush?: pink

name a food you never eat: brussel sprouts no thanks

are you typically too warm or too cold?: I feel like i always need to bring a sweater with me cause i get too cold easily. 

what were you doing 45 minutes ago?: I was crocheting mask holders and scrunchies while watching some news (wow this makes me sound old)😅

what’s your favorite candy bar?: twix

have you ever been to a professional sports game?: when i was younger my dad would bring me to watch baseball! ⚾️

what’s the last thing you said out loud?: “got my airpods in” to my dad who was talking to me and i did not even notice until he was like hello?? lol

what’s your favorite ice cream?: rocky road!

what was the last thing you had to drink?: water

do you like your wallet?: Yeah! I have a small one so it fits in my work bag and it holds the essential things i need to bring

what’s the last thing you ate?: cereal

did you buy any new clothes last weekend?: Surprisingly i have not! Like wow where did this self control come from?? 

what’s the last sporting event you watched?: it was probably my universities homecoming.. there was def not a lot of watching that took part on my behalf haha🍻

what is your favorite flavor of popcorn?: just butter and salt

who’s the last person you sent a text to?: my friend who is on deployment, we we were just sending her some love on the group chat💕

ever go camping?: Yes! My family has a camper so we like to go to state parks and stuff like that.

do you take vitamins?: yes

do you go to church every sunday?: nope

do you have a tan?: yes i do! but lately i havent been out tanning cause my spring allergies have been kicking in. 🌞

do you prefer chinese or pizza?: omg pizza is my love

do you drink soda through a straw?: sometimes i do!

what color socks do you usually wear?: sometimes white, sometimes different colors idk depends on which one i pick haha

do you ever drive above the speed limit?: i just drive 5 above the speed limit

what terrifies you?: i do not like mice, rats and snakes🥴

look to your left, what do you see?: my university graduation pic👩🏻‍🎓

what chore do you hate the most?: DISHES 

what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?: how cool it is i love their accent!

what’s your favorite soda?: coke

do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive thru?: I would def just go through the drive thru

what’s your favorite number?: 4

who’s the last person you talked to?: my dad

favorite cut of beef?: new york strip

last song you listened to?: 00:00- bts

last book you read?: probably one of my social work textbooks

can you say the alphabet backwards?: um i probs can but it will take me a few tries to get all the way through 

favorite day of the week?: FRIDAY

how do you like your coffee?: i usually order caramel macchiatos, but i always just put lots of creamer in regular coffee 

favorite pair of shoes?: my Adidas sneakers

time you normally get up?: usually 7 am

sunrise or sunsets?: sunsets ☺️

how many blankets on your bed?: I just have one but i have a lot of pillows!

describe your kitchen plates?: white with green leaves or blue hearts around it

describe your kitchen at the moment?: lol a little messy because we just throw everything on the table  

do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?: vodka lemondades, mimosas, moscato wine, margaritas, and hard ciders

do you play cards?: i sometimes do, usually my dad and i would play blackjack or garbage

what color is your car?: J. Ren is anvil (bluish gray) he is my cute jeep renegade lol 🚙

can you change a tire?: NOPE haha

your favorite state/province/county/city etc.?: Nashville, Tennessee (I had so much fun when i went last summer, i really want to live there someday!)

favorite job you’ve had?: Working at an elementary school child care!

how did you get your biggest scar?: LOL this is quite a story.. so i have a scar on my thigh from a patio umbrella falling on me at a golf course. It was really windy on the deck, so the wind managed to blow over the umbrella and the end of it hit my thigh. It hurt like a bitch and i was so embarrassed at my huge bruise and telling people the story.🤧

Tagging: @hopefish15, @bitoftaewithsugaandkookie, @gukniverse, @kimteahyung, @tatavangogh, @naturaljeon, @namkook, @heavyinmyarms, @sugasugakookies, @beautaes, @sugaerie, @mystically-mysterious, @sweetpeajeon, @penicillinjimin, @extrataedinary, @rainbowjin, @hiraethtae, @sunshope, @kindgentlejimin (you don’t need to do it if you don’t want to!!) 💛

[itsjusta]

May 13, 2021

woke up at 10 todaaaay but 2 naman ko kapin sleep bleh bleh hehehe issa very sleepy pako uie but wala nako sleep issa watch2 nalang the 100 and scroll2 hehehe after lunch issa i was sooo sleepy doeeee but di ko ka sleep man uie aishhh and i craved pajd for oatmeal?!?! 🤦🏻‍♀️ so i ate smol oatmeal hehe and tried to sleep but kennot gyd so watch nalang again 😤😤😤 pagka 1:40 i ligo na dayon doe cos go man sa dentist pagka 3 hehe but kahawa mi house ky 3:20 na cos mommy man luto pa gyd pancakes may gani ako gi adtoan aishhh but na entertain mi 4:15 na gyapon doe and 3:30 amo appointment aish doc huuuh!!!!

issa after da dentist we hapit at chowking doeee papalit ko chicharap and halo2 hehehe das my snack naaa!! issa i look at myself in pics doeee and i look different uy huhu idk i look like a mouse?!?!?! and issa im still bag ohan gyd doeee but maanad raman ko pila ka weeks hehe but mura jd ko mouse uyyyy!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

after snacks i was sooo sleepy doeee and naka nap ko but mga 20 mins lang and sakit ako eyes cos so bitin sleep!!!! hmppfff issa the rest of the night watch2 lang ko and scroll2 doeee and im so indecisive cos balhin2 ko watch the 100 then gusto ko watch ug something light and cute2 nga kdrama and then gusto pd read wattpad nga werewolf2!!! aishhh idjot man ko uiiie hehehe my brilliant products arrived today doeee da rejuvenating and da lolok oneee and omg i hope dili ni fake doe kay murag lahi rba ug color ang cream omg huuuh i spent raba 500 on dis aishhh but we’ll see i will test it for a few weeks heheh

when it was also 12 na issa i backread some convos doee and aish my life is so different na gyd from a year ago doeee issa i wish i was as happy like before doeee 🥺🥺 but aishhhh no nako cry so i distracted myself after uyyy heheh issa its fine i got thru it for a year na i can do it for another year doeee hehe and then if not pa gyd i’ll just keep doing it doeee happiness will come somedayyy and i just have to survive all the lonely days doeee 🥺 its really hard but no choice but to push through uyyy hehe maybe life will reward me soon and give me so much happiness

thank u for being there for meee and for making days more bearable doeeee heheh i’m also proud of u for everything gyddd u have come so faaar and i’m happy that i still get to hear about u achieving ur dreams 🥺🥺 i hope life will bless u more doeeee heheh good luck tomorrow!

[the-most-beautiful-broom]

50 questions you’ve never been asked

Thanks for the tag @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold this is a fun one!

What is the colour of your hairbrush? sooo i actually don’t own a hairbrush because curls but i have a green detangler comb that sits in my shower, if that counts

Name a food you never eat? i like chocolate and i like ice cream, but chocolate ice cream is a no for me

Are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold, likely because i refuse to wear socks if i’m not wearing shoes

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? coming up with a caption for an insta post for when my friend Rose comes to new york--i’m really pleased with myself on this one: we’ll go to East Harlem and we’ll take a pic in front of a mural or something and my caption shall be (drumroll) there is a Rose in Spanish Harlem 

What is your favourite candy bar? i like any of lindt’s solid chocolate bars

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? yeah! lots of hockey when i was still in dallas, and Padres games when I was still in San Diego

What is the last thing you said out loud? “so if no one has anything else, I’m happy to give y’all fourteen minutes of your day back.”

What is your favourite ice cream? ben and jerry’s cherry garcia

What was the last thing you had to drink? hot water

Do you like your wallet? haha nope, i’m so ambivalent about it, it’s big enough to hold everything and small enough to fit in multiple purses so it’s perfectly comfortable but it’s not like ooo cute 

What was the last thing you ate? soooo this is me realizing i haven’t eaten anything today? last night i had some cake i made over the weekend

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? not last weekend or even recently in general...i have been on the hunt for a vintage leather bomber jacket; i had one in college and i daily regret donating it 

The last sporting event you watched? probably a baylor game, last fall

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? so. there’s this brand of specialty popcorn called popcornopolis and they make one called ‘zebra’ and it’s caramel corn drizzled with white and milk chocolate 

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my sister

Ever go camping? as a kid, for sure. my dad was an eagle scout so he was into it...it’s not my favorite or like it can be done

Do you take vitamins? supplements, so like red clover or magnesium

Do you go to church every Sunday? lol every Sabbath I do

Do you have a tan? nope and i’m bitter

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? pizza, veggie chinese options aren’t the best

Do you drink your soda with a straw? nope but i’m also that pretentious person that pours soda into a glass instead of drinking from the can or bottle

What colour socks do you usually wear? i got a bunch of ankle socks from old navy last summer, they’re pastel colored with different dogs haha

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? i don’t have a car anymore rip

What terrifies you? lots of anxieties, few terrors? terrors is a strong word. like...dying alone, for sure, something happening to my friends/family and being helpless to stop it...nothing revolutionary

Look to your left, what do you see? a dress that i borrowed a lot from one of my friend that she just sent me because she was cleaning out her closet and thought of me

What chore do you hate? sweeping/swiffering the floor

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? i mostly just blush, it’s a mess

What’s your favourite soda? Dr. Pepper or fresca

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus? fast food isn’t really a thing in new york...when I was in texas, i’d do drive thru if it was just me, but if i was with someone, we’d go in. but like really the only place i can think of is in n out

Who’s the last person you talked to? it was a conference call for work lol

Favourite cut of beef? oof so now i’m that annoying vegetarian is this the second time it’s come up? back in the day, it would’ve been a filet mignon 

Last song you listened to? anything by dermot kennedy; he’s been on loop for like weeks now

Last book you read? Gone Girl, finally

Favourite day of the week? Saturdays or sundays

Can you say the alphabet backwards? i cannot and i also cannot say that i have any desire to

How do you like your coffee? i’m an espresso girl so either an oat milk latte or an americano

Favourite pair of shoes? white sneakers, any brand, as long as they’re a little dirty

The time you normally go to sleep? these days it’s been 3am i’m doing great

The time you normally get up? around 8:40am

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? genuinely good with either

How many blankets on your bed? two

Describe your kitchen plates: brooklyn-sized--cheap counters, small stove, sensitive oven, tall

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? i don’t drink woohoo

Do you play cards? i never learned except for one disastrous occasion where my ex tried to teach me poker but i learned to shuffle because i don’t like being inept/having to ask someone else to do it

What colour is your car? no car! new york city baby

Can you change a tire? lol no definitely not

Favourite job you’ve ever had? when i was in college i worked as an RA in the dorms, and i loved that. getting to be a safe space, plan events, looking out for girls and decorating our hall--i lived in the same building for four years! 

How did you get your biggest scar? when i was like 2, i tripped over the back of a rocking chair and split my head open, so i have a scar through my right eyebrow

What did you do today that made someone else happy? tagged a bunch of gals i used to go to school with in something on instagram, reminding them how much they mean to me and have taught me :) 

kath, this was so great! tagging @thelittlefanpire @dylanobrienisbatman @nightbleeder and anyone else assume you’re tagged bc i want to know all these things about you ♥

[princess--catherine]

Maybe y’all will hate me for this, I’m all for women’s rights and the Me Too movement but has it maybe taken a turn it shouldn’t have? I can already feel the hatred

Just in the past couple weeks I’ve seen at least 3 “predators/rapists exposed”, and after looking into it I saw no predatory behavior to expose that was given. And people are losing their shit over this “cancelation?” The evidence for this one? “Had a minor backstage”...you think that didn’t and doesn’t currently happen with idk, every Disney star EVER and boy band on the radio? I’m sure a portion of Billie Eilish fans who’s parents buy backstage passes are REAL young, is she cancelled too? Since when does having a minor in your presence = any type of sexual behavior? This allegation causally mentions “backstage minor” and quickly moves to “predator” with no cohesion there. Since when does an adult simply being around a minor automatically make you guilty of doing sick shit? The “evidence” shown was pretty pathetic: cropped and blocked out texts with no name as to who it’s from, no name but said star predator, no time stamp or date, no pics, no voice memos, no emails, no proof of any kind that there was any truth to the claims, no detail, no real allegation actually even made from what I saw. Unless the “so and so did this” part was in invisible ink. I could literally google the date of a ‘insert famous person here’ concert or general tour dates, and do the same with a texting app or with someone else’s phone. This is an Accusation on someone of a serious sex crime on the sole basis maybe 5 texts, some of which are hidden, and ALL of which are anonymous, detail no criminal activity, are never worth ending or attempting to make sure someone’s career over.

Another one I saw was an explanation that another social media person made a somewhat crude comment/gusture towards a woman he knew but wasn’t super familiar with. One time, no actual touching. He was later told by a friend “not cool, other lady friend did not like”, he did as he should have and apologized, and it didn’t happen again- admittedly on both sides. The two girls told him everything was cool and okay, no harm no foul, don’t worry about it. It didn’t happen again and the friendship continued. Days later, “evidence” comes out from one of them citing him as a sexual predator for this situation. This incident. Yeah, it’s not cool to get in peoples space or compliment them in certain ways if your friendship is not on that level and it hasn’t been established. That I agree with, that it simply wasn’t very polite, but a) no one was actually touched physically in anyway and b) the “crude” comment from my understanding was about an outfit fitting her well or being firm fitting. Yeah, that might make ya feel a lil icky, but there was no sexual suggestion or threat. There’s a huge difference between unwanted attention and sexual harassment. Someone else later gets involved but says she’s “not comfortable/willing to discuss” but still insists he’s a predator but doesn’t show a single shred of any involvement or information. If I was these people being falsely accused, getting death treats and doxxed, and ultimately, “cancelled”/therefore loss of income possibly long term , with basically no evidence or someone saying shit like “yes, that’s a predator. Nobody gets to know why I’m saying that though. I don’t want to relive it, my bad. You horrible people need to stop supporting this sex offender!” I’d be sueing the shit out of someone and everyone for slander. Like this is unreal to me. It really blows my mind.

Before you message me hateful shit, hear me out. I’m not saying these guys are stand up, amazing, perfectly well behaved dudes. I’m not saying they’ve never done anything predatory or wrong before in their lives or careers. Lord knows narcissistic and higher than thou types run entertainment. I’m sure they all got their attitude and behavioral problems. I’m just saying the info I just read and described is almost nothing being real generous, no rational person sees that and labels someone a sex offender. You’re accusing someone of a very serious crime, in a lot of cases a fat ole felony, being a RSO list sometimes for a lifetime. Bill Cosby? Deserve it. Weinstien? Deserve it. Epstein? Deserved to be under the jail. I understand there’s not always physical evidence, or maybe there’s not enough to build a case/a case is unwanted by victim. Some say they want people to know and be warned. If that’s what you truly want, you truly truly are trying to protect others, go in 150%. Everything you got. But when this person publicly and openly calling someone out by name for being a “rapist/sexual predator”, absolutely dragging them thru the mud, and the reasoning, the justification for this is that he was dating other women? nah sis. That’s not how this works, getting played, while scummy, is NOT RAPE/SEXUAL ASSAULT/etc. (*this is excluding things that don’t apply to this particular story like recanting consent or knowingly passing on an STI) So sure, he’s a probably a POS, clearly unloyal, he’s maybe learned the art of sweet talkin his way into this one way monogamous relationship, and I frankly wouldnt feel bad if one of those girls who got played popped 3 of his tires, bought a fuck ton of spiders and sneak them into his bedroom or something. But not jail or prison. What he did (unless other info comes out) isn’t something to be uplifted or encouraged, it’s poor, unfair behavior. But what he did is not CRIMINAL. It’s just shitty and inconsiderate. And I know y’all are reading this thinkin “fuck this bitch”, making assumptions before you read a fraction of what I’m saying.

So let me explain a situation I was accidentally involved in a few years ago with someone who was “famous” around those parts and had lots of fans and groupies. Let’s call him “Lee”. Long story short, a friend and I were with him and different other people basically from like 8-9 pm to around 4 am. He was alone (out of my sight) only 3 times: once to use the bathroom at my friends before leaving, once in the men’s bathroom at a club, and for maybe 5 minutes when I had to change at my friends place before going back over. They lived in the same complex and stuff so it was basically throwing on some sweats and taking an elevator down. We hangout, drink, smoke, talk. Lowkey, chill.

I wake up the next day, someone texted me this link about “Lee” raping a girl. I’m thinking “holy shit, that’s scary and insane, we were just with him last night drinking and shit.” Keep reading...it says it was the night before. Same date we were with him. And the time the assault supposedly took place was when we had come back to his place, where other people were already there, we were sitting there forever talking/whatever, this girl who pointed the finger was not even in the room and left before we did. She poked her head in once and asked where Lee’s roommate was. He told her cookout, it’s late so it’ll be a minute. Asked her if she wanted to hang out with us. She declined. So I figured maybe this info was wrong somehow and at the time I wasn’t making the connection between that girl and this story. I was like, no way a girl would lie about that of all things and especially knowing it’d likely get picked up by the local media, or at least local gossip. Her life here would be over. My friend and I decided to go talk to the police even though I avoid the damn police at all costs. The first thing I asked this officer was: “are you POSITIVE this is the date, place, and time, and are you POSITIVE “Lee” is who she is accusing?” And I asked that mostly because I was not about to defend or vouch for someone about a situation I wasn’t present for. Also, I wasn’t the biggest fan of “Lee”, so I sure as shit I wasn’t getting myself involved and going to bat for him without knowing it’s right. The Officer was very adamant that all that info was correct, victim was very sure. I explained to him everything I explained above, but I’m sure in better detail and included texts, pics, videos all with times, plus receipts showing how this isn’t adding up. He wasn’t alone the entire night and early morning. Officer ask me if she (the victim) was visiting a roommate of Lee’s, if they were sleeping together during her visit, I told him the truth which was that I didn’t really know for sure but it was a possibility. He told me somebody else had claimed she was no longer welcome for unknown reasons and believed this to be be related. I explain to the officer that I won’t speak on her time with the roommate because I saw her only long enough for her to ask a question and respond to another. Before she peeped out the door, I had no clue anyone was in there. I said I think she told me her name but I’m awful with names even sober so. He started getting kinda hostile and cutting me short. I repeated exactly what I told him the first time: I’m only speaking on what I witnessed and what I know to be true. So, if you and she are correctly reciting the time, place, person being accused, this accusation is untrue. He first makes a bitchy threat like “you know these girls who lie for these athlete boys can really get in trouble? They all end up broke after the NFL anyway if they even make it. Lying for a friend is illegal, that’s breaking the law and will get YOU in jail.” I lost all my fear of speaking to a police officer at this point because they KNOW this man did not just call me a liar to my face despite my 1:2 of the evidence already fucking up this accusation. I told him that I honestly wasn’t a fan either professionally or personally of “Lee” and I would lie for no one regardless of friendship or status about this, I’d turn in my own flesh and bloood brother and sing like a bird if I caught him doing any sex offender shit. So again, I told this slow man with 2 braincelle this was the reason I asked about how sure he was and he believed the victim was, on the time, place, person, etc. Officer says something along the lines of “well, something happened to this girl and this boy’s gonna be hurtin for it. Someone’s getting charged here.” Which I dunno bout y’all, maybe I’m reading it wrong. But What I gathered from that is: “I’ve decided to be judge and jury in this situation and moreorless declare this young man guilty despite evidence in front of my own eyeballs that shows that there is a good chance the accused is innocent.

I have no idea why this happened. But after we spoke to that dickhead cop it was dropped relatively quickly. I don’t remember now if she pulled the charges herself or the state denied to prosecute. And even still, this followed him. The internet is forever. When his great grandkids google his college career, that will show up. Please keep in mind this was a black athlete, playing ball for a big college in the south, with a white girl accuser, all the cops I saw at that station were white in the short time I was there and at least the one I spoke to had his mind made up. He was loud and clear about that. He said basically the same to my friend who was interviewed separately, that he was determined to convict him, he was “the one”. This city I’m speaking of has been sued for police brutality against BPOC and I’ve heard my friends/classmates getting called the N word (hard ER) in the broad, open day light. So yeah add that info in with the rest and come to your own conclusion.

Before anyone comes for my throat again: idk exactly what DID happen but I know what DID NOT. Which to be clear, is pretty specifically: this rape with this person, did not happen here and at this time. So I’m not saying something didn’t happen but under different circumstances. I know trauma can mess with memories and if something did happen under different circumstances, I am so sorry that happened to her, I wouldn’t wish sexual assault on my worst enemy. I’m also not saying she necessarily had ill intentions or knew it would proceed and go viral as it did. The point is I just don’t know, no clue. Not throwing any blame or shade her way, all blame and shade on that cop though. ACABs, no excuse for his ass.

Anyway, y’all don’t gotta believe this since it’s been a few years and I highly doubt that stuff is anywhere in my phone like 4 iPhones and two laptops later. No reason to front, I don’t gain anything by lying but a guilty conscience. But this scenario that I btw, very much did not wish to be a part of, showed me another side of things. Can we agree to yes of course, trust and support women but also trust evidence and testimony? While, yes, stats show few women lie about this, can we at the same time understand questioning and thoroughly investigating such a heinous crime? Can we also recognize the system is literally built to “serve & protect” some by severely and systematically oppressing others? There are people, too many damn people, who have lost absolutely everything, served major time in big boy maximum security 23-1s, and have been put to death, based on biases and little to no evidence.

Next time you see an accusation, regardless of what it is, please do a little research. Make your own conclusion. Put yourself in their shoes, would you want to be “convicted” (either legally or through SM bullshit) on a snip it of convo with almost no information/context? Called a rapist cause you led someone on? No. You wouldn’t. Actually for any crime for that matter. You would reasonably ask and expect for it to be fair, two sided, and with as much evidence or info as possible. So let’s treat musicians, athletes, influencers, celebs the same way. Let’s not condemn before gathering as much information as possible. If not, I am so afraid we will drive an innocent person to suicide. We would all feel so guilty if someone was driven to suicide over false or misleading statements. Let’s avoid this, please.

[comicsnsuch]

Tales from the Dark Multiverse

Hi! Thanks for finding this tumblr. The plan is to share and write about comic books, comic book art, other things that interest me and such, thus the name of the tumblr. Maybe you share some of the same interests, or maybe you’ll discover something new.

I’m going to try to post as frequently as possible, but that frequency will vary depending on what real life is like week to week. On slow weeks, there will be more stuff, on busy weeks less.  You get it.  Hopefully if you check in now and then you’ll find some new content.

I work (worked?) in a comic book shop, but as I have been recently reminded, due to the COVID-19/Coronavirus epidemic, I am non-essential.  Thanks State Government! Always good to have a self esteem boost! 

Anyway… I love comic books, reading them, talking about them, (thinking about) making them and so on. Always have, always will. I wanted to have an outlet for sharing that while I can’t be in the shop doing it face to face with customers and random strangers. 

I’ll be writing short reviews for what I’ve been reading, new stuff, old stuff, posting pics, etc.  

 Feel free to comment, but please keep it friendly. Assholery will not be tolerated.

To start with I just finished reading all of DC Comics Tales of the Dark Multiverse one shots. 

                                     I made this in MS Paint!

These started coming out in 2019 and the last one was released in early 2020. The idea behind each is Tempus Fuginaut, a sort of Watcher type character for the DCU (who I think debuted, or at least I fist remember seeing in the Sideways ongoing, a Dark Nights Metal spin off) observing the multiverse and introducing a story that takes an important moment in DC history and asks “what would have happened if things had gone differently?” DC’s version of What If?  in a nutshell.

       That’s Tempus Fuginauts big ol’ head in case you were wondering

 As the “Dark” in Tales of the Dark Multiverse might imply, these are not happy stories.

The first one shot that was released was Tales of the Dark Multiverse Batman Knightfall by Scott Snyder and Kyle Higgens with art by Javi Fernandez.  

This was probably my least favorite of the five issues. Since the “No Justice” mini series event I’m over Scott Snyder. I feel he has so many ideas rattling around in his head that he begins one story, gets too excited about the next one and leaves you underwhelmed with the current arc but dying to read the next. (That being said I of course checked out Batman Last Knight on Earth, having read his and Capullo’s entire New 52 Batman run I didn’t want to miss their “final” word on Batman, but have not read his just wrapped run on Justice League which I hear was quite good). 

I read this one right when it was released a few months ago, so my memory of it might not be the best.  

This one centers around the Knightfall event where Bane breaks Batman’s back and Jean Paul Valley/Azrael takes on the role of Batman. In this reality Bruce never recovers and Jean Paul remains Batman becoming Saint Batman, a Bats Azrael mash up. Javi Fernandez does a great job on the art and Snyder loves chopping people up. 

                                                      Gross.

Definitely worth the read if you’re interested in it or are a fan of Batman or just the Knightfall era. If you grab this series in collected format it’s not so bad that I recommend skipping it, just not my favorite from this batch of books. 

Next up is Tales of the Dark Multiverse Death of Superman by Jeff Loveness with art by Brad Walker and Andrew Hennessey. I really enjoyed this one, it was a good quick read and had a nice arc to it. One of the better issues from this series if you’re asking me.

Right after Superman dies defeating Doomsday in the Death of Superman story arc, the rest of the Justice League shows up, literally as the blood is drying.Ten seconds too late. Lois Lane blames Supes’ death on the heroes for not being there to aid him. 

She makes her way to the Fortress of Solitude and thanks to the Eradicator gets herself all the powers of Superman. She then goes about dishing out justice, with extreme prejudice, to the villains the heroes normally let the revolving doors of the DC justice system handle. This involves a couple of great scenes with Batman and Lex Luthor. Loveness nails the dialogue and the character arc he puts Lois on is great to read. 

                                  Walker and Hennesey do it again!

There’s more to this story than I’ve put here, but I don’t want to say too much and ruin your enjoyment of it if/when you read it.

Special shout out to the art team of Brad Walker and Andrew Hennessey. I feel like they don’t get enough love. They killed it on the Demon Hell is Earth mini, and from what I can tell are crushing it on Detective Comics. Dudes can draw. Spread the word!

Then we move onto Tales of the Dark Multiverse Blackest Night by Tim Seeley and Kyle Hotz. 

This one was a bit wordy, but a lot of fun! I would put this one in the middle of the pack. 

Seeley brings together an interesting bunch of characters including Sinestro, Dove, Lobo and the New Gods! The plot is a little complex, but basically after the Color Corps lose the battle against Nekron in Blackest Night, Sinestro is looking for a way to undo the damage done and becomes a pawn in Scott Free’s plot to do the same. 

Give Seeley a Lobo book or a Hawk and Dove book, or a Mister Miracle book!. He gives each character a unique voice which makes their joint travels through the plot that much more fun to read.

Kyle Hotz’s  art in this issue reminds of a 90’s Image Comic in the best possible way. Lots of detail and cool poses. I also see a lot of Bernie Wrightson in there with Hotz’s heavy use of black and the sinewy musculature of the characters. The book is worth the price of admission to see his renditions of Dove and Mister Miracle. 

                                                          kewl!

 I’m glad to see Hotz working more or just seeing more of Hotz’s work. I don’t know if he fell out of the industry after drawing the original The Hood mini for Marvel with Brian K. Vaughan, working with Eric “The Goon” Powell on Billy the Kid’s Old Timey Odditys, doing art on Carnage Mind Bomb and more I’m sure ( I just can’t remember it all), or I just wasn’t paying attention to what he was working on. If it’s the later, shame on me, if it’s the former, welcome back Mr. Hotz, you’re crushing it and I look forward to seeing more from you. Check out more Kyle Hotz work by following him on Instagram @kylehotzcomics.

Let’s not neglect the oft overlooked inkers! I’m not sure who inked what, but on a guess, Dexter Vines and Walden Wong brought a smooth, cleanness to the proceedings with lots of nicely tapered lines. Again just guessing here, because I don’t know for sure, but Danny Miki used a finer line bringing a scratchy-ness the others didn’t but also amazing detail and clarity on some of the portraiture in the later half of the book. 

Who’s next? Why it’s Tales of the Dark Multiverse Infinite Crisis!

This one may have been my favorite. When the original Infinite Crisis series came out it was a period  where, due to personal lack of enjoyment, I wasn’t reading much of DC’s output, but I did read the Countdown to Infinite Crisis one shot this issue takes as it’s jumping off point. After having read this issue, it makes me want to go back and read Infinite Crisis. I would say that’s the sign of a good issue.

In this alternate reality Blue Beetle, Ted Kord, kills Maxwell Lord instead of vice versa, making himself the head of Checkmate. He then goes about trying to prevent the coming crisis. It’s kind of a tale about absolute power corrupting absolutely, it’s also an underdog tale about getting in over your head.

                Sorry if these images aren’t the best, I’m new at this!

James Tynion IV does a great job catching you up on any old DC continuity plot points you may have forgotten or never knew about in the first place.If you’re reading Tynion’s current run on Batman, or his work on Detective Comics and Justice League Dark, you know he can handle a complex plot like this and does a great job condensing it all down to a single issue.  Aaron Lopresti and Matt Ryan handle the art and they do a great job. Always happy to see Lopresti’s name on a book I want to read.

Bonus points: You can never have too many Ted Kord, Blue Beetle comics, especially when Booster Gold pops up, even if only momentarily. 

If this series leaves you wanting more Blue and Gold action may I direct you to Booster Gold (2nd series) #32 thru about 38ish for some quality comics.

Final one, Tales from the Dark Multiverse the Judas Contract!

I’m not as old as my writing may imply so I had to read the Judas Contract in collected format about 20 years after it was originally released and after having seen it on many a fanzine’s (Wizard) best of list.  When I finally got to read it I wasn’t super familiar with the Titans of the era and already knew the big twist in the story, so it just washed over me without any great effect. None of the shock that someone who was reading it fresh in the 80’s might have experienced. 

I ended up liking this twisted take on the Judas Contract much more than when I read the original. “Sacrilege!” I know, I know, but like I said there was no surprise when I first read it, while this one zigged instead of zagging multiple times and kept upping the ante in scale. 

Kyle Higgins and Matt Groom do a great job reinventing a classic that I’m sure many people had high expectations for. This was a fun faced paced tale.  I enjoyed the hero moments Dick Grayson and Wally West were given. Like the Knightfall one shot Higgins co-wrote with Snyder there’s no shortage of dismemberment and disfiguration, which is neither a plus or minus in this situation, just thought it was worth noting.

Tom Raney handles the art chores here and he does a fine job.  Some of the figures seem a little squat, and their heads are too big in certain panels. Could I do better? No, so who am I to say anything? I just noticed it, here and there, it took me out of the flow of the story every now and then. That’s all. Big fan of his work on Stormwatch and Outsiders with Judd Winick. I also hear he’s super nice, so if you’re ever at a convention where Tom Raney is, seek him out! 

                                      They seem squat, right?

It’s worth mentioning these books are all done in DC’s prestige format and are extra long at about 48 pages each. All covers are by the fantastic Lee Weeks. A nice way to spend the afternoon.

There’s the first post. A little longer than I thought it would be. If you made it this far, I hope it was clear and you understood what I was saying and I hope you liked it and want to return for more. 

Until next time!

[caatws]

tagged by @justanalto to answer some questions !! :)

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? it’s like a blueish/greenish color and has moana on it! i usually comb my hair so i bought that brush just bc it was moana themed a few years ago lol. i don’t use it often

2. Name a food you never eat. there are many.....#justchildhoodocdthings ermmmm i don’t eat a lot of snack foods like chips or goldfish

3. Are you typically too cold or too warm? too warm, esp these days bc the weather is hella warming up so i wake up feeling hot a lot

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? i was working on some post-grad work stuff and then crossed over into my roommates’ room to watch the facebook livestream graduation 2020 thing cuz miley was on singing the climb

5. What is your favorite candy bar? i love a good hershey’s special dark chocolate moment

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? yes, quite a lot actually! my mom is super into sports, so i grew up going to a handful of pro sports games - mlb, nba, and nhl. never nfl tho bc my mom said the price of tix wasn’t worth it LMAOOOO. also when the olympics are here in la in like 8 years i wouldn’t mind checking out some events here !!

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? i asked my roommate if she wanted me to close the door as i was leaving her room bc she was abt to hop on a zoom call

8. What is your favorite ice cream? chocolate.....esp if it’s dark chocolate which is Rare

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? starbucks peppermint hot chocolate bc i’m a basic bitch!!!!

10. Do you like your wallet? yeah, i only upgraded from my middle school wallet like back in 2018 to a normal adult looking one. it’s purple and has enough pockets for all my shit! still bulky tho

11. What was the last thing you ate? ....nothing LMFAOOOO lunch is usually my first meal of the day and i haven’t had it yet. but last night i had ramen for dinner

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? last time i bought clothes was i ordered one of the black widow hoodies from hot topic like a month ago....other than that i have not gone clothes shopping since pre-quarantine

13. The last sporting event you watched? i don’t even know....i didn’t watch the super bowl, so it’d either be some time my roommate was watching hockey on our tv or whatever sports my mom was watching when i was still home for winter break in january

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? KETTLE CORN!!!!

15. Who is last person you sent a text message to? i sent a pic of miley singing the climb on the fb livestream on my friend’s laptop to my fam being like “lol miley is our commencement performer!!!!” and my mom was just like cool

16. Ever go camping? yes unfortunately....never for more than a night at a time tho bc i literally Cannot

17. Do you take vitamins? no bc what is Health

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? used to back in the days of catholic school (pre college), but now no longer

19. Do you have a tan? nah bc we can’t go outside bro

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? chinese food 100% i personally think pizza is overrated

21. Do you drink soda with a straw? i don’t believe i ever do tbh

22. What color socks do you usually wear? i only own socks with colorful patterns/designs on them which is extra but very me i suppose

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? always! (a reasonable amount over tho, like within 5-10 mph over...this is average for californians, while many others speed hella)

24. What terrifies you? not a fan of heights nor uncertainty, and this pandemic has essentially destroyed my post grad hopes/plans and now i enter an uncertain future

25. Look to your left, what do you see? my bed, with a lot of stuff piled on top

26. What chore do you hate? all of them???? i guess doing the dishes mostly tho bc i hate the smell of wet dishes with food waste/residue on them and it just feels so gross i can’t

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? i think wow australia sounds like a wild country

28. What’s your favorite soda? orange soda 4ever

29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? drive-thru if i can !!! but i don’t mind going in if there’s ample parking available

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? my roommate, when i asked if she wanted me to close the door LMAO

31. Favorite cut of beef? all of them????? i’m not picky with meat dsflkbn

32. Last song you listened to? as i was driving back into my garage the radio station i was listening to started playing sugar we’re going down which threw me for a time loop

33. Last book you read? i’ve been reading fanfic mostly recently so ig whatever the last thing i read for my internship weeks ago was, it would be that

34. Favorite day of the week? even tho time doesn’t matter in quarantine, i’ll always be a friday stan

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? i used to be decent at it but i’m out of practice now. i’ll try to just type it rly quickly and see: zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba (ok so this took me like 5ish secs to type so that’s p good!)

36. How do you like your coffee? i don’t! i just drink peppermint hot chocolate :^)

37. Favorite pair of shoes? my doc martens, but they are now out of season for most of the rest of the year bc i live in southern california where it’s Hawt so i probs won’t wear them again til december

38. The time you normally go to sleep? sometime between 1 and 3 am

39. The time you normally get up? sometime between 9 and 11 am

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets are dope!!!

41. How many blankets on your bed? three, including my sheet, comforter, and a small quilt

42. Describe your kitchen plates. some are just round and plain white, some are round and white with a red decorative border, one is a pokémon plate meant for children that i bought cheap at target

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? piña colada!!! but if i’m trying to get drunk i need vodka or somethin

44. Do you play cards? not much tbh! my apartment has been on a mahjong streak as of late

45. What color is your car? silver!!

46. Can you change a tire? no i’m useless but also my parents believe i’ll get murdered if stuck on the side of the road (which is possible) so they’d prefer me to call aaa for help

47. Your favorite province? uhhhhhhh no provinces here in the u.s. but canada has provinces and i went to british columbia (to visit vancouver) once as a kid so???? if we talking states tho y’all know i will die for california

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had? honestly my job at my school’s mail center this past year was rly cool! my boss was so great and the other student workers were chill, so it was a nice environment and i enjoyed learning all these mail-related skills

49. How did you get your biggest scar? i have no scars ;))))

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? i had my final appointment with my therapist from my school since i graduated, so i thanked him for working with me the past year and a half!

i tag: anyone who wants to do this, i’m lazyyyyy hehe so feel free to steal!!!! i wanna read y’all’s answers