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seokiloquy · 4 years

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Lost In- What Word? Pt 1 - Akaashi Keiji

AU: Single Parent

Requested

Word Count: 4.5k+

Disclaimer: Fem! Reader, Time skip spoilers, Udai being a meta Furudate insert, just fluff

Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3

Akaashi wasn’t sure if Udai was naturally forgetful, or just held so much anticipation in his smaller form that he glossed over details and didn't realize it. Udai was an excellent author despite not having reached the major public yet. His first published work was short and eerie which most of the shonen reading population didn’t greedily rip off the shelves. Although, those that did read it gave him overwhelming support, maybe the rest of the world wasn’t ready for that kind of psychological horror just yet.

When Akaashi originally applied for a position at the publishing company he intended to work in the literature department, editing lengthy novels and picking out grammatical errors, not reading conversations via text bubbles and looking for continuity errors between images. He never did pick out the exact moment he went from editor to fact-checker and archivist. Akaashi also never knew how many different ways there were to translate a single word until he met you. And once he did, he realized that his eyes would follow you across the office as you ran around and spoke to other editors, helping them furnish their translations so that they flowed properly.

“Tenma, isn’t he meant to be out of the rotation for this panel?” Akaashi couldn’t help but grimace when faced with the utter despair that had pulled on Udai’s typically eased expression. The panel itself was masterfully drawn, taking up two pages and showing off Udai’s immense talent in drawing expressions and anatomy.

“I spent 8 hours on that, only to find out that it needs to be scrapped. What has my life come to?”

The yellow office lights made both of the men’s hair give off a green tinge and made their faces look sickly. Udai frowned as he pushed his chair back and let his chin sit on the table of the small meeting room. His hair curled around his fingers as they gently tugged on the ends of the wavy black stands, straightening them only to let them go and have them bounce back into place.

Akaashi flipped through the printed out pages of the chapter, letting the loose papers lay flat on the table. He pointed to the next pages. “These are fine though. They’re in the right rotation here, so not all is lost at least.”

Udai sighed, as he threw his weight back into the chair, making it spin with his momentum. “That’s all well and good, but I was really proud of that panel. It was going to be the attention grabber.”

Akaashi pursed his lips gently, flipping through the pages once more before tucking them into the pale yellow folder and closing it. Udai’s new story was in its beginning stages, only having a sample chapter that would be published in the following week’s magazine, that is if they got it done in time.

“It needs to be perfect. I can’t have this not work and starve for the rest of my life.”

Akaashi opened his mouth slightly, taking in a deep breath, ready to spout out his words of encouragement for his colleague when there was a knock on the door followed by the soft creaking of the hinges as it opened.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to ask Udai about some of the uh… what’s the word? Dang, I’m supposed to know Japanese, it’s my job. The— I give up. Help?”

Udai chuckled and waved you over to take the seat opposite him, you shook your head and bowed slightly as your hand raised, saying you were alright, not needing the chair. Leaning down slightly you pointed at the ruff sketch copy in your hand where your current author’s handwriting seemed to over the edges of the text bubble slightly.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but how in the hell am I supposed to translate ‘paisen’?”

The innocent question seemed to brighten Udai’s mood much more than Akaashi’s monotone words of support would have. The older man launched backwards, nearly flinging himself off the chair, in a fit of laughter. His hands gripped the shirt he wore above his stomach and chest as they tried to ease the laughing pains.

Akaashi chuckled at the sight before looking at your somewhat regretful expression, you were probably too used to your co-workers laughing at your in-fluency at Japanese. “You can probably substitute a familiar nickname or a joking reference of respect.”

You sighed and brushed your hand over the back of your neck, “I swear, Himari had the intent to torture me with this last chapter. Thank you, Akaashi.”

Finally calmed from his fit of giggles, Udai sat straight in his chair and sent you a gracious smile. “Well, at least when you join our team I won’t torture you as much.”

You gave Udai and Akaashi a teasing smirk as you reached for the door handle. “I’m not so sure about that,” you said. “Besides, you need to get the attention of the readers before I join your team. No point in translating a comic that doesn’t even get off the ground right?”

You sent them a wink and the door closed behind you with a quiet click.

“Was that a challenge?”

“I believe so,” Akaashi said, handing Udai a blank sheet of paper. “Looks like we have some work to do.”

The office was, as it was the day before, and the day before that, calm. Udai sat in a small isolated office on his own with a naturally coloured lamp hanging over his hunched figure. The rest of his team, including Akaashi and now you as well, sat outside his door in a row of cubicles that led up to a large window that took up the entirety of the wall. In the corner cubicle, pressed against the window and directly across from him, you sat, typing away on your computer as you translated the Japanese text into Wild Words fonted English.

“Akaashi, is the end of chapter ready to translate?” Your head peeked over the frosted cubicle wall, a small smile pulling at the corner of your lips and the corner of your eyes pinching together. Akaashi’s gaze fluttered around.

“Ah, Ya the edits are done so you can finish translating it now.”

The smile you wore only seemed to grow, making Akaashi want to turn away and stare at the same time. The sun’s light contrasted with the dull rectangular lights in the office, making your skin glow. Your fingers tightened on the top of the glass and your shoulders rose to your ears, you narrowly missed knocking over an owl keychain that hung on his side of the wall.

“Perfect,” you said. “I’ll get them done now.”

The day continued like this, everyone working and occasionally calling out to each other through their cubed walls, possibly getting a twirling pen in the forehead followed by a meek apology (coming from you). Every time you spoke to someone you would rise out of your seat to make eye contact with them, refusing to continue speaking otherwise, and even though he wasn’t the person you always spoke to, each time your head began to poke out of your squared corner Akaashi couldn’t help but turn his attention your way, watching as the sun's light danced around you. It didn’t come to a surprise when, like every instance before, Akaashi looked up when you shot up from your seat. Only this time there was a frantic look plastered unevenly on your face, one that the warm light didn’t compliment.

“Please tell me my clock is wrong and that it’s not 4 pm.”

Chiyo leaned back in her chair, setting down her Cintiq’s pen and flipped the watch on her wrist so that the face faced her. “Yup, it’s actually 4:15.”

Akaashi was surprised to hear a not so work friendly English curse leave your lips as you rushed to save files on your computer while simultaneously packing your purse. You continued to swear as you ran out of your cubicle and toward the elevators with a quick “goodbye” being thrown over your shoulder. The office was quiet.

“Does that happen often?” Ena asked as he pulled off his glasses.

The group of artists and their editor sat in stunned silence for a few moments, minds racing over where the young translator had scurried off to. In their collaborative confusion, the team slowly went back to their respective jobs.

Himari came around the corner of the office, coffee in hand, as she chatted with her editor, who was nursing his own mug. The writer looked up for her conversation to see Udai’s team and gave them a polite nod. They were going to meekly return to their work when Himari paused her steps and looked at the empty plush chair that sat rotated and untucked in your cubicle.

“Oh, did (Y/N) leave?” to Akaashi’s surprise, Himari was not.

“Does she do that often?” he asked, setting down his pen on the counter of his desk.

Himari nodded, smiling, “Oh ya, sometimes she gets lucky and her friend can handle it but a lot of the time she has to run out of here by 3.” Akaashi’s brow furrowed slightly as Himari took a sip of her coffee before continuing waving her hand by her head, “Don’t worry too much about it though, she always comes in early to get her work done.”

Before they could question further, Himari was off with her editor sending them a knowing smile.

When the end of the workday rolled around, only 45 minutes after your quick departure, Akaashi found his eyes trailing back to his phone that sat at the corner of his desk on top of a stack of papers. Keeping watch on his phone, he swung his bag over his shoulder and shut off his computer. The device remained silent as the team began to pile out of their seats, toward the elevators and in a fit of contemplation, he reached for the phone.

Your response was quick and vague; Family thing, happens often. I’ll tell you later. See you tomorrow!

After the sample comic was released, Udai was thrown when he received an immense amount of interest for his characters and story, and he was even more excited when he received word from the magazine’s publishers that they wanted him to continue with the path he was on. The months building up to this moment were filled with constant plot revisions, reference excursions, and interviews until they came to a conclusive framework of the story, and continued introductions as new members were added to their original duo to make the workload less hefty.

Today though was the day that the story’s first chapter would finally be released to the public.

Akaashi tracked into the office, heading to the lounge to grab a coffee before coming up to his cubicle against the window and setting his bag down, immediately heading to the lounge. 8:40 in the morning, 20 minutes before the expected time of arrival, Akaashi, back at his desk, was just about to take a sip of coffee when a small snore overlapped the sound of the air conditioners, creating a dishonest harmony.

On the other side of the frosted glass wall of the cubicle was you, head resting on the black mouse pad that had a small plush cushion for your wrist. Akaashi quickly rounded the desks, coming to our side to gently rouse you from your slumber before your co-workers arrived. He was to wake you up gently with a hand on your shoulder, that was the plan. The plan changed when he noticed the small picture frame on your desk, surrounded by various action figures and Funko pops.

With one hand on your shoulder and the other holding the fame, he studied the photo with a kind gaze. He was so enthralled with the image that he forgot that below his other hand, was you.

“He’s cute ain’t he?” you asked, startling the editor back to his current reality as you stretched, arching your back like a cat. Akaashi’s attention was brought back to the current situation as you reached out for another frame in the opposite corner of your desk. “His name is Naoko. Here, this photo is newer.”

The young boy in the new photo looked like you a lot, more so than the previous one where he was just an infant that carried more resemblance to a potato than a human. Akaashi, without taking his eyes off the pictures, pulled the chair out from under Ena’s desk and sat next to you. He didn’t say anything, deciding just to admire the photos he held and letting you decide whether or not he should have the pleasure of hearing a story.

You sighed and yawned, leaning over the armrest of your chair so you would see them too. “He’s six, really quiet. I moved here when I found out. Hardly even out of university, and I was already pregnant with some strangers kid,” you laughed, making Akaashi stare at your features for a moment, wanting to point out which ones could be found on the boy.

“Is he the reason you moved to Japan?” Akaashi was a little taken aback by your willingness to talk, but in hindsight, you didn’t seem like the person to keep secrets, often rattling with your co-workers about your interests. Thinking back, maybe he should have expected something like this, Himari seemed to have known after working with you for several years, happily dancing around the topic of your personal life with your new coworkers when your sudden departure was questioned.

You shrugged, “not entirely, but he sure was a good excuse. I had plans to move to Japan for years before I even got into university. When I found out, I was sort of… uh. English…. Fuck, I need a job. So I applied to be an intern here, moved in with a friend I met online and prepared to have a baby.” Your arms flew about as you talked.

“You act as though it was easy,” Akaashi laughed, placing the frames back onto the table.

You let out a happy chuckle and spun your chair to face Akaashi head-on, eyes not leaving his, “I wouldn’t say it was easy, per se, but I’m happy with how things turned out.” you yawned a bit, “I should also apologize for running out of the office early sometimes, I have to pick Naoko up from school so —”

“You don’t have to apologize for that.” The gentle smile he wore was contagious.

It was 8:50 when the rest of the team came in. Immediately catching sight of Ena, Akaashi pulled away from your side, rolling the chair back to its respective location. He heard a breathy laugh escape you as he scurried around the desks to return to his designated spot across from you, cardigan flailing about.

The rest of your team piled into their seats sending the two of you waves and morning greetings. Ena nearly dropped his ‘don’t talk to me till I’ve had my coffee’ mug as he tripped over his rubber slides just before reaching his desk next to yours.

Sending your friends a smile you quickly slid back into your cubicle to re-adjust the frames on your desk with a yawn. Akaashi gave you a nod when you looked up to his stiff, still standing, form. You made his heart feel much weaker than he’d like to admit and without saying another word, he picked up the forgotten mug filled with brown liquid and handed it over the glass, into your hands.

Naoko was much more reserved than Akaashi expected, definitely a contrast to your more hyper personality. He spent most of the day sitting in the corner behind your cubicle where a table was set up next to a row of cabinets. What the boy was doing, Akaashi wasn’t entirely sure, but there was a small tickle at that back of his brain that made him want to find out.

When you had come in that morning, the group was surprised to see the small boy trailing behind you, holding onto your hand tightly with the both of his. “PD day,” you said. Udai spent the first few minutes of the day gushing over the boy’s cheeks instead of working, only to end up being backtracked and having to cram into his lunch break. Akaashi would be lying if he said he wasn’t thankful for that though.

“What do you have there?” he asked, taking a seat next to the boy and setting down his lunch next to the younger’s bento box.

Naoko curled in on himself, bringing the phone (that was most definitely yours) to his chest. The boy’s knees had pulled up to his shoulders as his feet pushed on the edge of the chair. Akaashi sent the young boy a kind smile and waited. From the corner of his eye, he could see your chair turn around as you took in the sight of your son and co-worker. He watched as you began making large swinging motions with your arms. Akaashi tried not to laugh.

Whatever had been playing on the phone hadn’t been paused in the short time given to do so, making the familiar sound ring quietly around the two of them.

Akaashi looked back your way for a moment, only to see you tilt your head up in a supporting nudge and turn back around.

“Are you watching a volleyball game?” he asked, rousing a more positive reaction from the boy.

Naoko’s shoulders lowered and he slowly placed the phone down between them. As Akaashi had concluded, a volleyball game played on the small screen. He put forward another question.

“Do you like to play?”

The six-year-old shrugged but nodded before scooting his chair in closer and reaching for his food. Akaashi mirrored him, slipping off his collared cardigan and pulling his lunch closer, still watching the game.

“I used to play volleyball.” This caught the boy’s attention, who turned his head to look at Akaashi, brows raised and lips pursed. “I was a setter.”

Naoko swallowed his food and for the first time, Akaashi got to hear him speak.

“I like playing setter too.”

His voice was rather meek and had a sort of authority to it, but the biggest thing he noticed made him stifle a laugh.

“Hey, (Y/N),” he called gently, making you spin your chair around in question. “Why is Naoko better at Japanese then you?”

“Hey! That’s mean!”

Naoko began to wiggle in his seat, desperately trying not to laugh at his mother’s, your, irritation. You shot a look at your son and gasped.

“Don’t you start laughing at me. I speak English better than you do.”

“You don’t need to speak English in Japan, mom.”

Kaashi continued to choke on his laugher as you pushed the palm of your hand into your forehead. “I’m being teased by my own son,” you cried quietly, turning your chair back around to face the unedited pages.

Naoko giggled and looked back Akaashi’s way. “Can you teach me?”

Akaashi didn’t see you still in your chair, listening.

“Of course I can.”

“Udai, seriously? You promised that you weren’t going to use weird industry term slang stuff on me.”

With a wide-eyed look and hair messily tied back, the man in question rotated his chair around childishly. “I never promised. I just said I'd go easier on you.” It was infuriating really.

With a pitiful whine, you shook the rough script in your hand making an angry fluttering sound. “You’re so mean Tenma. You know that I have trouble with slang.”

Udai only laughed and waved you off, “It’s a good way to learn is it not?”

You rolled your eyes but relented, giving a wave and closing the door. Once at your seat Akaashi poked his head out, eyes visible over the top of his square-framed glasses.

“He did it again?”

“Ya,” you huffed. “I can’t blame him though. It’s just frustrating that I can’t remember what a lot of the words mean. I should buy a dictionary.” Akaashi watched as you turned your monitor on. “Oh, um, Naoko was asking about you the other day.”

“Really?”

Your hands came together behind your neck, pulling your head down bashfully. “Ya, he’s been wanting to show you how he’s doing and maybe get the chance to learn a bit from you.”

Akaashi gave you a kind smile, so small that it didn’t even crease his cheeks, and nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

Your cheeks warmed as you beamed up at him before turning your head down towards your computer screen. Akaashi took a second to appreciate how the cool light from the overcast sky made you look. It was silent in the office for a moment. Just a moment.

“Udai! Another one?!”

In theory, so long as you have space above your head, you can play volleyball anywhere. Your apartment wasn’t ‘anywhere’.

The three-bedroom living space was built as housing and not an Olympic arena, and after breaking one too many of your glasses playing around, it was made clear to you, Naoko, and your sport junky roommate, that volleyball shouldn’t be allowed in the house.

“You guys can go play volleyball with Akaashi at the park, no?” Yukie asked, grabbing an onigiri of the large plate on your kitchen counter and stuffing it in her face. You made a large dinner that day, only to have your friend eat most of it, instead of leaving leftovers for Naoko’s lunch. Not that he complained about it, you sure did though.

Taking Yukie’s words to heart, when the weekend rolled around and Naoko was becoming more anxious, you invited Akaashi to your neighbourhood park to play volleyball.

“Open your elbows a bit more, make a triangle with your hand, and when the ball comes just cushion it with your fingertips before sending it out, okay?”

Naoko nodded, staring at his hands that were being moved around by the older player. Akaashi’s form was kneeled by the boy’s side, his head nearly resting on the younger's shoulder as he tried to make sure he was in the right position.

“Alright,” he said, grabbing the smaller than average volleyball off of the grass. “I’m gonna toss this to you, do you think you can get it to hit my hand right up here?”

Naoko nodded again, eagerly waiting for the blue and yellow ball to come flying his way. You watched silently from the park bench as Naoko tried (and often failed) to get the ball to touch Akaashi’s hand accurately.

“Almost there, you got this Naoko!” Akaashi encouraged.

Earnestly waiting to see the next move, you sat forward in your seat, watching as that ball made a tall arch towards Naoko’s waiting palms. As the ball made contact with his fingertips, he bent his elbows and wrists before shooting them out into a straight line, sending into the palm of Akaashi’s hand before dropping back onto the grassy field.

Your son, as most six-year-olds do when accomplishing something, shrieked. He shrieked very loudly before sprinting directly into Akaashi’s stomach to give him a (breath-stealing) hug. Akaashi coughed as he tried to get air back into his depleted lungs. From the side you giggled, watching as Naoko’s smile grew, head buried into Akaashi’s stomach.

It became standard, going out to the park during your off days. And this day, like the weekends that have come before, the routine of going to the park, ball in hand, continued. But after spending an hour or so watching the familiar movement of the yellow and blue ball fly through the air, Naoko interrupted the serene setting with a loud request.

“Mama! Mom! Can we go get onigiri?”

Looking up from resting your neck on the back of the bench to turn your gaze onto the energetic boy that was hopping around on the grass. “I’m okay with that, but you should probably ask Akaashi along. We don't want to leave him at the park do we?” you teased, picking up your bag and walking toward the two.

Naoko spun again to look at Akaashi, whose hands were now tucked into his jeans pockets. “Please!” he wailed. “Come with us! Please, please, please, please, please!”

Akaashi let out a hearty laugh. “Calm down, I’ll join you.” without saying another word, Akaashi offered his hand out, letting Naoko clutch it eagerly.

“Udai are you sure it’s okay to bring Naoko along? This is meant to be a work trip and I’d hate for him to dis… dic… get in the way,” you gave up at the end, sighing over your tripping words.

Udai gave Naoko, who had been clinging to Akaashi’s arm since all of you had met outside the city gymnasium, a pat on the head. “It’s alright. Besides, he’ll probably be a great resource.”

You nodded and watched as Naoko rattled to Akaashi about his school team and new things they had been practicing. You pouted. Upon their arrival, Ena, Chiyo and the others immediately began teasing you for effectively losing your son’s favour, which didn’t make your whining any less audible. On top of that, the group of artists found your sullen look to be a perfect reference, taking their cameras out.

“Keiji,” you cried, following behind the rest of the group as they waltzed through the gym entrance along with the crowd. “You’ve stolen my son.”

Akaashi paused for a moment, taking in a calm breath before looking over his shoulder. “He’s your son, I can’t steal that from you.”

Naoko threw a large smile over his shoulder, making your dragging steps falter.

When did it change? The expression on his face. When did it become so happy? Did he not smile before?

You picked up your pace, brows furrowed as you watched your son chatter happily.

When did he start speaking so much? Since when did he have so much to say? Was it something new in his diet? Or maybe the new friends on his volleyball team?

You found your gaze shifting to the hand that held his. Without thinking about it too hard, you quickened your steps to come up to Naoko’s other side. Your heart pounded as you held your closest hand out for him to grab hold of. When he finally did, immediately looking forward to dragging the two adults with him, the smile you gave Akaashi was the largest he’s ever seen coming from you.

You looked back at all of your interconnecting hands fondly.

When did he become another person’s son?

I tried going a bit of a different direction with this one in comparison to most Single Parent aus. I’ll admit it could have more meat to it, but oh well, things to improve on.

Question:

Do you prefer weekly one-shots that are shorter in length (like we’re doing) or longer ones with bigger plots and inconsistent updates (Sort of like “Catch Me If You Can” and “Ready Aim FIre” but longer)?

- Bacon

Posted: 31/07/2020

#haikyuu x reader #akaashi keiji #akaashi x reader #Haikyuu #x reader #oneshot #oneshots #haikyuu oneshots #haikyuu reader insert #reader insert #aus #haikyuu aus #fluff #haikyu #anime x reader #anime #manga x reader #manga

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cai-magica · 3 years

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Have a wall of text that summarises my current thoughts on all the breaking news! It’s late here and I’m tired so I’ll probably edit this later for clarity, but here is my initial response.

Initial reaction

Honestly I really wasn’t expecting the follow up to Rebellion to be themed around WalpurgisNacht, considering Walpurgis hasn’t been relevant to the storyline since the original series. Once Madoka made her wish to eradicate witches from all timelines, I had kinda just assumed that, whichever timeline the story takes us to next, it wouldn’t involve witches? Especially considering that Homura created the last timeline where we left off, it would be in her best interest to keep Madoka’s original wish intact; after all, this world was created with the intention to keep Madoka safe at all costs, so surely she wouldn’t want any witches lurking about.

And I can’t imagine any of the other girls would have any particular reason to tamper with Madoka’s wish either, unless I’ve missed something? Whilst there were certain advantages to the witch system (such as the Doppels introduced in the spin off series), they were significantly outweighed by disadvantages.

If I’m remembering correctly, it was implied that the Incubators at the end of Rebellion had vowed to end their magical girl programme because human emotions were simply too irrational and messy for them to work with. So while I imagine Incubator interference isn’t unlikely considering they’re the primary antagonists, I’m not sure I can see how and why they would want to reinvolve themselves with the girls after everything that happened.

So my only guess is that when Homura tore apart Goddess Madoka and essentially kidnapped her core personality, something in the fabric of space-time must have gotten a little fucky and somehow altered Madoka’s new world order? But again, it doesn’t answer the question of why witches are even making a comeback this far into the story. I was expecting something that focused more on the fragility of Homura’s new timeline; a goddess with amnesia close to recalling her true form, and a demon doing everything in her power to repress her memories in order to keep her from ascending, thus effectively trapping her and keeping her safe from harm. With all of these developments made, why reintroduce witches?? It makes very little sense to me...please feel free to message me and speculate with me, I would love to get a discussion going!

Mami and Sayaka

I rewatched the concept movie and I noticed that it had similar themes explored in Magia Record; notably, the concept of Mami as a potential antagonist, and Sayaka confronting her former mentor. If they continue to explore this potential dynamic in the upcoming film, I will be happier than a kid in a sweet shop!

Mami has never sat right with me as a protagonist; heroic Mami kind of feels a little too perfect to me, sort of Mary-Sue adjacent...orphaned girl with tragic backstory, struggles to make friends, finally integrates into a team to defeat a common enemy and dies a hero’s death...it feels too ‘clean cut’, too predictable...it’s like the film telling you ‘hey, look how tragically beautiful this character arc is! You should like this character! Root for them, relate to them!’ And I don’t like stories telling me what to do and who to like so directly and bluntly, it comes across as lazy writing to me.

Contrastingly, I feel like a more antagonistic Mami ticks all the right boxes for a series like Madoka Magica. A sweet, well meaning girl with a tragic backstory, intent on doing the right thing, but becomes very gullible and easily manipulated due to her loneliness and longing to connect with others and be a part of something bigger, ultimately succumbing to delusional thinking and impulsivity. We saw this play out in the Magia Record spin off series, where Mami was shown moving to another town and being indoctrinated into a cult who manipulated, exploited and weaponized her. We also see this implied in the concept movie; although the clips are very vague and mostly just based on imagery, we see Mami’s sunshine coloured image being contrasted against fiery backdrops and overbearing, sinister undertones; a far cry from the warm, talented, heroic yet somewhat misguided protagonist we saw in the first three episodes of the main series.

Speaking of the first three episodes of the main series, I want to mention the development of the dynamic between Mami and Sayaka. Mami started off as a mentor figure to Sayaka, who was quick to praise and idolise her. Sayaka was much more insecure here; full of self doubt, she projects onto her new mentor and places her on a pedestal, aspiring to be as brave, noble and righteous as her. In Magia Record, Sayaka has grown and matured; no longer a student in her mentor’s shadow but a formidable magical girl in her own right, she confronts ‘Holy Mami’ who is now a shell of her former self, pointing out that it’s ‘not like her to bully the weak’ and fighting against her when she attacks Yachiyo and Iroha. There are also echoes of this shifting dynamic in the concept movie; Sayaka’s voice can be heard firmly saying that she ‘hates anyone that would point a blade at someone for a reason as ridiculous as that’ (or something along those lines) A minute or so later, a sketch of Mami wielding Sayaka’s swords flashes across the screen, and the clip ends with Mami’s musket rifles being fired across a white backdrop, the sound of the gunshot echoing against the eerily haunting, twinkly music playing on the title screen, creating an atmosphere of unease and disillusionment.

I suppose my one main hope for the Rebellion follow up is that Mami’s character development as a potential antagonist is expanded on more, alongside the shifting dynamic between her and Sayaka. I really love what I’ve been seeing so far across Magia Record and the clips from the concept movie, I can only hope to see them expanded on further as the series continues.

New girl on the block??

I’m going to preface this by highlighting that I have never been able to play the Magia Record game as it’s unavailable in my country...my knowledge of everything in the Magia Record timeline is limited to the spin off series. However, the new character introduced for the upcoming event, theorised to be a foil for Homura, has absolutely piqued my interest, particularly as she’s apparently linked to WalpurgisNacht. Looking at screenshots from the trailer, it seems to be heavily implied that she also uses time manipulation magic and was present at WalpurgisNacht along with the others, never acknowledged until now. She appears to have an air of omnipotence about her; scarcely being actually seen, but subtly involved in everything, altering and toying with the structure of the timeline, her motivations currently unknown.

Whilst it may well be exclusive to this event in the game, I’m very curious to see if she’ll be linked in to the film somehow...if she proves to be interesting, I would love to see her make an appearance.

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firesidexfables · 4 years

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changes

People told her she’d changed.

Sure, it’d been 2 months or so since she’d last seen her friends. Maybe a little over 4 months since the break up. And yeah, she’d spent more than a month in Seoul, and another month or so off the grid just cos she wanted to. She couldn’t help it - after the sorry excuse for a year she'd had, all she wanted was a little bit of escape. To just be on her own, be her own person for a while and just exist.

Truth be told, she had enjoyed the 2 months away from familiar places and faces. It kind of felt like a hard reset for her life. A much needed reset, in her opinion.

Had she changed?

Okay, so she did come back to her hometown about 10kg or so slimmer, with a short boyish crop of copper hair and dressed in clothes she wouldn’t have worn half a year ago - a black turtle neck, checkered collared jacket and belted black jeans. Not to mention 3 more piercings in her ears and new silver steel earrings. Maybe it was the ice blue coloured contact lenses too, turning her brown eyes a grey green instead.

Looking at herself in the toilet mirror, she took in her appearance and had to admit that yes, perhaps the change might have been pretty jarring for the friends she’d left at the table - the friends who’d last seen her more than 60 days ago.

She’d walked into the cafe and waved to the group of 4 gathered at the table. Two of them had heir backs facing her so they hadn’t seen her entrance. The other two - her best friend since 15 and her boyfriend of 4 years - had been facing the cafe door but stared past her for a good 1 minute. She kept on waving, wondering why there was no response as she strode over to their table.

Eyes widened in shock and recognition as she sat down on the empty chair beside her.

“Oh my god, I didn’t recognise you at all! What happened to your hair?!”

She’d shrugged and laughed. “C’mon, you always knew I wanted to cut it short.”

Opposite her, the two other guys at the table did a double take.

“Wait, is that really you? Man you look like you really DO live in Seoul.”

“Well, I did technically. For a month.”

2 coffees and a cheesecake later, she’s excused herself to the washroom to freshen up. To be honest, she hadn’t made any of these changes on purpose - the loss of weight, the haircut, the change in style. She supposed, maybe with finally being free of all the unnecessary pain in her life, these were all things she had always wanted to do. Be healthier. Look cool. Try new clothes. Be herself? Probably.

She walks back out to rejoin her friends at the table - her Best Friend Jane, her Best Friend’s boyfriend Alex; Ross - the annoyingly athlete whom she’d befriended in freshman year during a concert, and Kai - Ross’s best friend who for some reason had always been in the same classes as her since she’d started university. The people she’d grown to love through tumultuous years as a struggling university student. People whom she’d - somewhat guiltily - wanted to get some space from during her 2 month hiatus. Not that she didn’t enjoy their company, but everything had just been too suffocating back then - too many memories and too much to deal with.

But now, things were different. She was different. And she was happy to see them again.

“Dang, Morgan. I still can’t get over how different you look.” Ross blurts out in the midst of the ongoing conversation she and Jane are having about lattes versus Americanos.

She looks over from the fake banter she was engaged in with Jane and raises an eyebrow. “It’s weird though, I don’t actually feel like I changed much.”

“Are you kidding me right now?” Kai, who’d been strangely quiet most of the coffee session, finally spoke his first few words of the night. “You’re like, a whole new person. If you didn't sit with us I would have thought you were a stranger.”

Both of her eyebrows arch upwards now, and she isn't quite sure how she should react to that comment. She studies Kai’s face, which she remembered being usually easygoing and ready to smile. There was none of that today, and she realised that he seemed... sad? Not really. Something closer to mirth, almost a cold meanness. She’s pretty sure that's not the Kai who sat next to her in every class, always cracking some lame joke which she’d roll her eyes at with a smile. This Kai seemed cold, almost angry. Was it her? Had she caused this? Or had something happened to change him too?

Nonetheless, the tension at the table had gone up a notch and she had to do something. She could feel Jane getting worried and flustered beside her, with sweet Alex trying to think of a amicable reply. Ross was just open-mouthed in shock, not quite sure what to say.

She gave a smooth chuckle, unruffled (seemingly) by her friend’s icy tone. She ran a hand through her fringe out of habit and took a sip of her iced Americano before saying, quietly, “Well I guess it’s a good thing I did sit down then.” She smiled because she really did mean the words she was about to say next, “I really missed you guys when I was in Seoul.”

Kai’s eyes softened a little, although his expression never changed. She took it as a small win. Jane engulfed her in a passionate side hug, and the table mood was in a good place again.

“Who told you to go for so long! When you said you needed some space to work things out yourself, I didn't imagine it would be that long or that hard not seeing you.”

“I know, I'm that important in your life right.” Morgan laughs. “You totally don't have a super nice boyfriend, a thesis to write, and your sister’s wedding in a week that you had to plan for.” She jabs playfully at Jane, who rolls her eyes but is still smiling fondly at her.

“I hate you Morgan, you know that right.”

“Uh-huh, I’m sure. That’s why you stuck with me for 7 years.”

“Urghhh, you two are grossing me out. Alex is Jane’s boyfriend, not you Miss Kpop-idol-from-Seoul.” Ross grimaces, although this is definitely not the first time he’s witnessed such banter from them.

“Alex doesn't mind.” Both her and Jane chorus together.

Alex laughs, his eyes crinkling good-naturedly into tiny crescents. “I’m glad you’re back Morgan. You wouldn’t believe the number of times Jane wanted to call you but realised you wouldn’t be contactable. We really did miss you.

“Anyway, we’ve spent most of the night going on about all of our boring lives the past 2 months. How was your trip? Are you feeling better after Seoul?”

One of the reasons Morgan had approved of Alex dating her best friend was because he really was such a sweet guy. Not a selfish bone in his body, and a heart of gold. She couldn’t think of a better person to love her Best Friend. She smiles and does a quick reflection on her month in Seoul - all the museums, streets, people, morning runs and time to sketch and take photographs that she’d had. Koreans liked to use the word healing, and she couldn't think of a better way to put it.

“Yeah. Healing, right? That’s what they always say in k-dramas. That's what it felt like. Healing.”

Jane beams happily at her. “What’s your favourite thing about Seoul?”

“Wow, I’m not sure I can pick just one thing though my god...”

“Okay okay,” Ross chimes in. “How about your best memory then?”

She cocks her head to the side, biting her lip as she tries to think of her best memory. There were truly so many good memories there, it was hard to pick the best one.

“Hmmmm... well this is gonna seem a little unimpressive for a best memory. But if I had to pick I think it was one Saturday morning when I travelled a little further to MMCA. It was that golden hour kind of sun, and - don’t judge me for this - but I bought a MacDonald’s coffee and walked from the station to MMCA. It was like maybe 7 degrees out? But the sun was so pretty. It was such a nice walk, I took some photos and sat outside MMCA and just drank my coffee and I don't know. I felt really happy and free. Like I could just be myself, you know? And that life was good and I didn’t anything else in that moment.

“Sorry I bet you guys were expecting like some epic night out, or some amazing mountain hike or maybe I met BTS?”

They laughed at her finishing comment. Well most of them did. Kai just drank his latte quietly, not looking up from his coffee cup.

What was up with him, seriously? Morgan decided that she'd confront him in class on Monday.

“Nah man, that sounds pretty amazing actually.” Ross assured her. “Sometimes in life it’s just the little things, amirite? I feel the happiest when I’m on my morning runs. Nothing fancy, just me and the pavement beneath.”

She nods and finishes the last of her coffee. “Yeah man, I never thought something so simple could make me so happy. Kind of made me think, why was I trying so hard before, you know?”

It was a vague reference, but everyone knew enough to know she was talking about her ex. The break up that had radically shifted the course of her life. The heartbreak of being cheated on, and the toxicity of a relationship that had pulled her down all this time without her realising. In hindsight, she was actually thankful she broke up with him. It felt like she was a chained tiger who’d finally escaped her cage. Free, and ferocious in all her newfound strength. Ready to conquer the adventures of life again.

Of course, only Jane knew the full extent of how horrid that relationship had been and how hard she’d taken it at first. She didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, so not everyone - not even Alex - at the table knew much about the break up other than it had happened.

A soft hand lands on her shoulder, and she turns to see Jane smiling that soft smile of hers at her. “But that’s how you’ve always been Morgan. You’ll try your hardest till you die for something you truly believe in, and I love that about you. I'm just happy you came to before you really died on the inside.”

The sudden, sombre shift in atmosphere makes Morgan feel a little uncomfortable. She gives her signature half smirk. “Yeah right, like I'd die that easily. What has our years of friendship taught you?”

Jane shakes her head fondly, knowing the bravado has always been her way of diffusing difficult situations and topics.

“It’s getting late.” Kai says, putting down his now empty cup. “We should all head home.”

Morgan is, once again, puzzled and a little concerned about the cold edge in her friend’s tone that she has never heard before. She made a mental note to text Jane about it later.

“Yeah,” she agrees, despite it being way before her bedtime. “The place is closing soon anyways.”

They get up to leave, gathering their bags and finishing their drinks. Morgan is slinging her black Oxford bag over her shoulder, when she feels someone tapping her back softly. She turns around to see one of the baristas from the counter with a cup of iced Americano in her hand.

“Sorry, this might come off a little weird but, my friend over there wanted to ask you out but she's too shy to do it herself.”

Everyone at the table shuffles awkwardly. Morgan just smiles. Honestly, this wasn't the first time something like this happened since her haircut in Seoul.

“Mm,’ she hums thoughtfully. “Your friend knows I’m a girl right.”

The barista flashes a triumphant smile and calls over to her colleague. “See, I told you!!” The other barista just blushes a deeper shade of red. “Yeah, I told her I'm pretty sure you’re a girl, but she said she doesn't care whether you're a buy or girl. She thinks you're cute.”

Morgan cocks an eyebrow for the second time that night. “O...kay. I kind of don't swing that way though, sorry. Don't mind being friends though?”

The barista smiles. “Aww, that’s sweet of you. ‘Kay I'll tell her what you said, but the coffee’s on the house. Her number’s on the sleeve if you change your mind.” She says with a wink before handing the cup to Morgan and heading back to the counter - no doubt to report back to her blushing friend.

“Well... that was awkward.” Ross breaks the silence, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment, as if it was him who was asked out.

“Believe it or not, that’s not the first time something like this has happened to me since I got the haircut.”

“Wait. Are you really thinking of calling her?” Kai looks at her incredulously, noticing the coffee cup still in her hand.

“So what if I do?” Morgan retorts, getting a little peeved at his behaviour today. “She’s a nice girl who gave me a free coffee.”

“Wow,” Jane looks at her with bug-like eyes. “Seoul really has changed you.”

“I’m just kidding. But I probably will text her though, just to turn her down nicely. Cos I’m not a douche like some guys.”

She doesn't catch the glare that Kai gives her as she walks out of the cafe.

---

His friend had changed.

It was Monday, their first day back in school after the year end holidays. Sure, Kai had already met up with Morgan and the gang on Sunday, so he really shouldn't be surprised to see how different she had become. But he found himself still a little shocked to see his friend - the girl who had sat beside him for countless classes, indulging grudgingly in his lame jokes, the girl whom he had seen as more of a bro than an actual girl for the longest time - walking into class in an artfully distressed black wool sweater a few sizes too big, tucked into a pair of ripped jeans and sporting black Dr Martens. Her boyishly-cut hair looked slightly windswept, curling prettily and loosely around her forehead. The shortness of her hair exposed every ear piercing she had/had gotten, along with her slender neck, strong jawline and the slight dip of her collar bones. Had her brow somehow gotten stronger, her lashes longer, her eyes bigger and her lips more full? How could someone look prettier even though her hair was shorter and her features more strong and defined?

Kai was in trouble. He could tell from how couldn't help but stare at her, heart pounding a little too fast and much too loud in his ears. What was happening to him? He’d sat beside this girl for more than 3 years of his life, and he’d never once felt anything more than platonic concern for her. But suddenly, one trip to Korea and a coffee later, he can’t stop his heart from palpitating uncontrollably. It made him immensely irritated. Not to mention how she’d up and left 2 months ago, just ghosted everyone (him included) without any explanation, until she’d returned last week and asked them out for coffee in their group chat.

Wasn’t that a little too much? And now she had to come back looking like this.

It was too much for him to take. All this change. In his friend, and in himself and his feelings too. He knew yesterday at the cafe, he’d been less than friendly - perhaps even hostile - towards Morgan. But he couldn't help it. He was so afraid that if he didn't have the guise of anger to hide behind, he’d say other things he’d regret much more.

He knew there was a point last night where he’d said something that really did hurt her. He forgot what it was, but he’d seen the hurt in her eyes for a fleeting moment, although she had a smile on her face. It was that empty smile she’d seen her plaster on before, when she was with him - her ex. He’d hated seeing her like that, and hated himself even more for being the one to have caused it. But he had to keep her at arm’s length - at least until he’d figured out what exactly he was feeling.

Unfortunately, though, Morgan seemed entirely clueless to his predicament as she sat down beside him and placed a tray with 2 coffee cups on the lecture hall table. He tried to keep his face stoic, but inside he was a panicking mess. He couldn't even turn to face her.

“Hey, I brought you coffee. It’s still a flat white right, you haven't changed your order while I was away.”

He really should say thanks and give her a smile, because that’s what she deserved for being sweet enough to still remember his coffee and get it after the terrible attitude he’d shown her yesterday night. But all he could manage was a curt nod and a muttered, “Thanks.”

She’s silent as she takes her cup out of the tray and pulls out her textbook. The professor’s taken the attendance and is beginning his class. He steals a sideways glance, and sees the deep frown on her forehead. He wished he could reach out and smooth it away.

Stop it, Kai. What the heck are you thinking?! This is Morgan, your friend whom you’ve seen in all sorts of unglamorous, embarrassing and epic situations. Morgan, who probably just sees you as a bro. Not to mention, she's also a year older than you. So that's younger bro to you, sir.

His inner monologue is shattered by the abrupt clank of a pen hitting the table. It’s not loud enough to disrupt the class, but loud enough that Kai can hear it clearly. Morgan’s hand is on the table beside him, clasped over the pen she’d just slammed down.

“Look,” she turns to face him, her voice low but clear. He has no choice but to turn and meet her eyes, a pretty grey-green now. He’s distracted by the colour for a while, until she speaks again.

“I get it if you think I've changed. Maybe I have. Why’s that a bad thing though? And why are you so upset with me about it? Is it cos I disappeared without telling you? Just tell me so at least I know why you're treating me like this.”

He can see the sheen of tears starting to well up in her eyes, and he feels like the worst person on earth. In all the years he’d known Morgan, he’d never really seen her cry before. It was almost shocking, to see her on the brink of tears because of him. She doesn't tear up like how most girls would, with trembling lips and a sad expression. Instead, her jaw is set and her lips pressed together tightly. Her brows are arching in an almost angry way, and she looks more ferocious than vulnerable despite the tears building up in her eyes.

Kai squares his jaw. “Let’s talk after class.” is all he manages to say.

Morgan snorts at him, and instead of the tears spilling over, they almost seem to dissipate before actually falling. “Fine. After class. Let’s settle this.”

He muses about how it sounds like one of those things gangsters say when they decide on a fight.

---

They’re on the rooftop.

They used to come up here when he was a freshman, and she was a sophomore. That was before he’d managed to skip a year and suddenly they had every class together. When they needed a place to meet because their schedules hadn’t aligned that well.

Sadly, it wasn't just schedules that were lining up well right now for them.

Kai sighs as he runs a hand through his hair. Morgan is standing beside him, arms crossed as both of them look over the ledge to the sprawling campus courtyard below.

“We’re here. Let’s talk.” she says curtly.

He doesn't know how to begin. His brain is turning over various opening sentences over and over again, but his mouth refuses to move. For a good 5 minutes.

“Fine, if you’re not going to say anything then I will. I don't know what I've done wrong to make you so angry with me Kai, but I know I definitely don't deserve this. I’ll admit, I probably could have handled things a little better when I wanted to leave. Explained more. Not just upped and left. So yeah I get it, a bit of a jerk move on my end. But I really needed that break. Really badly.

“I didn't tell you guys much because I didn't want you to worry. But it was bad. I was in a bad place... I knew I had to call a time out on everything before it was too late. So yeah, I know I didn't go about it the best way and I’m sorry for the way I left. But I'm not sorry for going, and I'm not sorry for changing.

“The way I am now... I'm happy this way. I don't want to go back to that miserable person who thought she was happy all this time. So I’m not gonna be sorry for that. And if you feel maybe the me right now is not someone you can be friends with then fine, I respect that. Just say it to my face instead of treating me like you can't wait to bite my head off.”

The silence is excruciating.

He had never heard such raw emotion come from her before. It was like being burned at the centre of a flame, right at its hottest point. His mind went blank, and he just couldn't think of any response to explain how wrong she was, how he didn't hate her at all, how he wasn't angry at her but really, truly, he was just angry at himself.

Most of all, he didn't know how to say anything without admitting how his feelings for her had changed. That's right. He was finally admitting it. He had feelings for her. And it hadn’t just started yesterday, when she'd returned looking amazing (although that did amplify things quite a bit). No, when he began to really think about it, it had probably started when he found out about the break up... how angry he had been at him for breaking her heart (although he had no clue what had happened, all she said was that it “didn't work out”, but somehow he knew he’d broken her heart). How he’d wanted so badly to text her “are you okay? do you want to talk?” instead of “oh man, it’s okay lots of fish in the sea.” How he’d been so worried when she didn't reply for days, and when he called her phone was off, only to find out from Jane that she’d decided to take a break and went off the grid. How throughout those 2 months she’d been in Seoul and elsewhere, he wanted so badly to just text “I miss you” but knew it wasn't something a bro would do. How he had imagined the day she’d be back, he'd take her out to her favourite pizza place and ask her all about her trip, if she was doing okay, laugh and make lame jokes at her stories and walk her home. Give her a friendly hug before calling it a night. How they'd go back to class again the next day.

Yeah, if he was honest with himself, he’d changed too, many months back. Even before she’d changed and became someone cooler, he’d already cared about her back then.

But he had no idea how to put all of that into words, and so the silence stretched on even longer.

“...Fine. I’m done with this.” she turns around and walks away, leaving him to continue staring out at the courtyard.

He can hear her footsteps, getting further away as the distance between them and their hearts grows with every step.

Suddenly, he’s sprinting to catch her as she’s almost at the door to the stairway. Before he can think, he is grabbing her wrist and pulling her back, away from the exit and turning her around to face him. Her brow is creased in a puzzled and angry frown, and her whole body goes rigid, as if she’s about to bolt at any moment.

“I’m sorry.”

That damned arching brow of hers, as she gives him her habitual questioning look.

He sighs, once again running a hand through his hair nervously. “I’m sorry.” he says again uselessly.

“Okay?”

“No, wait. Let me just... I just...” he fumbles and growls in frustration. He’s still holding her wrist, but gentler now. “Why can't I talk properly in front of you?!”

Some of the anger has gone from her face, and now she looks genuinely puzzled. “What do you mean? It’s always been hard to get you to shut up.”

He laughs bitterly. “Yeah about dumb, useless things.

“Okay look, I messed up. You’re right, you didn't deserve to be treated like that. I guess I was angry. But not at you. At myself.”

Now, she’s just plain confused. He waves his free hand placatingly, indicating that he's about to explain.

“Thing is, you're not the only one who’s changed the past few months. I think I've changed too, without really realising it till recently.

I know we’ve always seen each other as friends. Bros. Whatever. And I’m a year younger so maybe I'm more like a little bro to you. But I think at some point that's no longer how I feel about you.

Remember when you first broke up? Yeah, sorry I’m bringing it up. I told you “its okay, lots of fish in the sea.” right? What I really wanted to say was “are you okay?” But I didn't cos I was stupid and scared.

And when you disappeared. I wasn't angry actually. I was really scared something bad had happened to you, but then Jane told me you left and I was happy you were safe.

Those months you were away, I really missed you. Not us like our group, but me. Just me. I missed you. There was so many times I wished I could have just texted you that. Hey, I miss you. But yet again, stupid me was too scared to.

And when you came back, yeah I was angry. But not at you, because you’d changed. I was angry at myself, because I saw how you had to heal and go through everything alone all that time. And I wasn’t there for you and I didn't anything to help you.

I’m sorry it came off the way it did. I guess in summary, I was just scared of everything I was feeling. And I was scared of losing our friendship because of it. Cos you know, we’ve always been friends. Bros. Doing bro stuff all the time. And you’ve always been looking out for me although we’re seriously barely a year apart?! But still. You probably don't see me that way, and to be honest I never realised I saw you this way until everything went down last year.

Basically I guess, what I'm trying to say Morgan is.

I like you.”

---

#fic #fiction #short story #drabble #ocs

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maiji · 6 years

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@logicheartsoul Thank you so much for the kind words ^^ And certainly - thank you for your interest and for asking! I love working with ink so I’m happy to talk about it :D

How I got into it

It's only been in the last maybe five or so years that I've actually started to pay more attention to art supplies. In the case of ink, it really started with fountain pens. Long story short, one of my professors was really into them and let me try one of his vintage pens, and I was vaguely interested. Then my best friend really got into them, and I tagged along to a fountain pen show (shoutout to Scriptus Toronto!!). From there it was a slow burn over a period of months from “this is neat” to “WOWWW OKAY I GUESS I’M REALLY INTO THIS NOW”. It was a (relatively, for me) quick entry once I discovered the online fountain pen community. These people are incredibly passionate, highly articulate, and best of all, document EVERYTHING. I found the ink reviews especially spectacular and that’s probably what hooked me the most.

A few other things that helped in the appeal factor:

I have a tendency to grip writing implements excessively hard and exert a lot of unnecessary pressure when writing or drawing with more conventional pens (ballpoints etc.) A number of people mentioned that fountain pens helped them to alleviate this because generally you don’t need/want to apply pressure when using them. I’ve found it has helped.

I've always been interested in forms that combine words and images, and this merges literary and artistic worlds in a very clear way.

I’ve been on a long personal journey of wanting to incorporate much more Chinese/Taiwanese/East Asian heritage and cultural traditions into my work. Thus, I've been gravitating towards things emphasizing brush, ink, water, elements of calligraphy and... not sure if spontaneity is the word I want, but things that help me overthink less when I draw, and get better at letting go.

How I work with ink

My (main) tools

Fude de mannen: This is basically a fountain pen that mimics a brush for Asian calligraphy. It has a bent nib that enables you to change stroke thickness by varying your hand angle. I love this pen so much I got a second one so I could have a different colour; the washi tape helps me tell which one it is. You can see more of it in the video interview I did with PindotPress.

Brush pen: A pen that is a brush. lol. A number of companies make them; I use the Pentel Pocket Brush because it's the first one I tried and I liked it a lot. It's smooth, has great line variation, and the tip has yet to fail me. (Although the cap started falling apart, hence all the tape on my first one lol.) I currently have three: one for permanent black, one for permanent red, and one because I couldn’t resist buying a coloured version of the pen (I have Diamine Earl Grey in it right now).

Glass dip pen: These dip pens are pretty but what is super awesome is that they are super easy and fast to clean. I can quickly switch between multiple colours of bottled inks. The grooves in the nib hold ink, so you need to slightly turn the pen as you go to access all the ink. You can also get a wider stroke by slanting the pen and using the side of the glass nib. It's not that easy to control your lines, but I actually like this because it creates a lot of happy accidents. And “oops well damn" accidents, but like I said I’m trying to cultivate the whole “learn to let go" mindset.

Waterbrush: Basically a brush that carries its own water reservoir. I’ve used a few different brands but I find I like the Pentel Aquash small the best. Some people fill them with ink like a brush pen, but I’ve not really done that. (I did it once with a different brand that was harder to open/refill and I got mad.) I use it to paint with the inks.

Pencil I got for free: Unless I really am just doodling, I usually draw base pencils of some sort, even if it’s just a very rough, light sketch or a quick thumbnail on another sheet of paper. Every so often I get an inquiry asking what special kind of pencil I use, but I’m afraid they’re just normal pencils rolled with recycled newsprint. I got free samples like a million years ago and I have been using them forever. (I think I’m finally down to my last three.)

Eraser: I’ve been trying a few different ones but it takes me forever to work through an eraser. You want it to be able to pick up the lines without requiring you to scrub and take the ink too or destroying the fibres of your paper. This one actually works pretty well. If you’re really curious you can see the non-destroyed packaging here! lol

Toilet or tissue paper: Something to pick up the water. This is my "undo button” in real life when I’m painting/using the waterbrush. Also I drown everything with water so it’s very important.

Ink swatches: Every time I get a new ink I make a sample and add it here. It’s great for colour palettes and when I’m looking at other inks and trying to decide whether to get it or not (e.g., is it different from everything I already have? My definition of “different” is very generous...). I don’t actually have all these inks; some were samples from friends. I’ve found I tend to gravitate towards very complex, nuanced neutrals. (This sounds so sophisticated but when you see them all it once it's like. Oh. Apparently I like shades of grey, brown, and other hard to classify "muddy" or in-between colours lmao. But more on that in a bit.) Lately I've been getting glittery inks because they're fun and they add a magical dimension to the physical piece.

Here is my current selection of inks - on the shelf to the immediate left of my laptop and my head as I am typing this right now. The box at the bottom left is all the samples.

My approach

In my mind, I broadly classify my approach into two categories: “dry” and “wet”.

"Dry" - ink only, no water. I have pretty unsteady hands and hate "inking" - if we think of inking as an exercise in achieving a "clean", controlled line drawing with consistent line width/stroke thickness, neatness, etc. So I love pens that support me in what I think of as controlled loss of control - wide variations in brush width and stroke character. Brush pens and fude de mannen pens are perfect for this. They have lines that offer a wide range of dynamic, organic, and textural opportunity. My Inktober illustrations fall into this category. A few examples below, followed by links to the full set.

Inktober 2017 - fude de mannen

Inktober 2018 - brush pen

"Wet" - Basically I blob water around. Depending on when I do it (before, with/during, after the application of the ink), you can get different results. The water causes the ink to bleed, semi-watercolour-like, and can be used for shading, environmental effects etc. For obvious reasons, this works best with non-waterproof inks (which the vast majority of fountain pen inks are), but you can do this even with waterproof inks. Just let the ink hit water before it has a chance to soak into the paper and you can get cool effects :D. And you can also do it with other pens too, not just fountain pen inks. Examples:

Tiles of Toronto urban sketch series

Raizen and Hokushin doodles

Arikoto from Ooku

As you might imagine, this is really great for on-the-go drawings, because you just need a pen (or a couple of pens) and a waterbrush.

The “wet” approach is also where the very complex inks that look "boring" (greys, taupes etc.) are just complete magic. When the dye elements separate, other colours emerge, and you get really wonderful textural effects and rings of colour where the ink pools and dries. Diamine Earl Grey is a colour I've mentioned several times that I LOOOVE because it separates into blues, browns, purples, even pinkish tones. It's a gorgeous ink. You can see some examples and closeups here.

Another colour that does this really powerfully is Sailor Rikyucha. It’s a dark tea brown-green that separates very easily into pale blue-greens and more and has amazing tonal and textural qualities. The Tendril Wreath illustration here really shows this.

For the most part I look at things I like and then experiment to figure out what happens. After working with the same tools for a while, you get a sense of how the different elements might react and respond naturally. The Genjimonogatari series employs both dry and wet extensively and is an example of the experimenting and playing I’m doing - I keep finding new aspects to the inks I thought I knew, and making “interesting” mistakes. And trying to fix them as I go with varying levels of success, haha. But I’m always learning!

One more thing about this hobby

I feel compelled to finish with some talk about the pure aesthetic appeal, or the MULTIPLE LEVELS OF FUN I get out of these inks. Not just the colour, not just how the ink behaves, but... the name of the ink as well! Some inks do this more effectively than others. Similar to how the presentation of a dish is part of the experience, the name of an ink adds so much to my enjoyment of it. My least favourite ink names are [standard adjective]+[standard colour name]. My favourite ones are really convoluted with literary and poetic references, I just love them hahaha. Asian fountain pen inks I find tend to do this especially well - partly because of how much you can pack into how few syllables, I suppose. It makes me sad that a lot of sites don’t include the original names, often referencing them with just a number, though I understand it is difficult to translate. But I learn a lot with these names as a starting point! For example, Zhenjing, which I mentioned recently in the Kurama “Light” illustration, took a bit of back and forth with my parents to look up the source and then to interpret the complex line of poetry. It was a fun and fascinating exercise.

A great name can’t save an ink I don’t like, but a good name elevates an ink I do like even more, and it can be really inspiring for making stuff. For example, take Pen BBS Mirrorflower Watermoon. I adore the colour of this ink - it's a very subtle grey-pale green with silver flakes. I used it heavily in the Hokushin fanart “Northern Deity” (you can see it here with photos of the sparkly).

The name is actually highly recognizable if you're familiar with classic East Asian literature/poetry. I read it out loud to my parents with no context other than "this is the name of one of my favourite ink colours" while they were eating dinner and they both said at the same time, "I know this! DREAM OF THE RED CHAMBER!" lmao. It's a very Buddhist idiom or phrase referring to the illusory nature of things, likening it to the reflection of a flower in a mirror or the reflection of the moon in water.

I hope this was interesting and helpful! ^^

#art supplies #logicheartsoul #replies #reply #fountain pen ink #ink #waterbrush #brush pen #fude de mannen #art by Maiji/Mary Huang #how I work #process

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sylleboi · 5 years

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𝕻𝖗𝖎𝖒𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖑𝖉𝖘 | 06/01/20

Morning:

During the first part of the morning, after returning from Christmas break, we went over the past brief, quickly evaluation the positives of it and what could be improved upon.

What went well:

Excellent progress of rendering skills in both turnarounds and Pose to Pose animations

Establishing narratives based on imagination and creativity within a given context.

Even better if:

More mapping of out own ideas, documenting ideation through sketching a range of mind mapped ideas after the first week of the project.

Drawing more from observational references to improve hand to eye co-ordination.

Experiment more in alternative mediums

Analyse imagery and effects of imagery as opposed to just saying we like it. Consider why research is so important as opposed to just doing it because you “have” too.

Mondays from now on will be more theoretical, and Wednesday mornings will be for drawing.

- - -

𝕻𝖗𝖎𝖒𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖑𝖉𝖘

In this brief, “Primitive Worlds”, we are going to focus on primitive techniques within art, learning basic skills by using ones hands to create something. In general, the brief is focusing on physical three-dimensional elements.

Looking at old artwork found from thausands years ago. Cave painting. Get inspired; Neolithic Figure “The Thinker”

News & The Brief

Ev4′s for Trip to British Museum

Have you paid for the trip?

Whats the focus for term 2 / any changes? - Wednesdays Dave will not be able to teach us.

Longer brief means more depth & exploration - Challenge yourself, be organised and stay up to date with our studies at all times.

Checking your grades and reappraising targets

Our Aims & Objectives

To be able to analyse and research a 3D and a 4D problem in Art & Design.

To use and integrated approach to 3D & 4D problem solving.

To use evaluation to support solutions for 3D and 4D problems in Art & Design.

* Problem solving is defined by your ability to diagnose and research a brief, experiment with processes and then present a finished and rendered outcome that clearly answers the brief set.

Visual language

Primarily we are looking at shape and form for this brief, both things that can successfully be applied to something in a 3D or 4D space, such as clay art.

What will you learn

How to create 3D sets and dioramas suitable for animation but specifically illustration

How to create three-dimensional figures/objects in ceramics and other resistant materials

How to experiment with stop motion & rigged animation that develop the range of animation processes you can utilise as you process

About primitive art and the connections to modern illustrators and practitioners

Key terms for animators, model makers & set designers

The challenge (the problem you need to solve):

Your challenge is to firstly research primitive art works, figures and artefacts and the design a diorama (a set piece that has a story going on, most often a still image, lots of little objects, posed) of your own world based on the inspiration. Through a series of ceramics and wood workshops you will create characters, creatures, sets and accessories that can all be compiled to create a diorama. This will then need to be photographed in the studio. The final images will then be made into the class book entitled “Primitive Worlds”·

You will also provide a 50-100 word piece of creative writing to accompany this.

We looked at three different sculptures sharing the look of being stereotypically primitive. (not polished and doesn't feel completely finished, simple and rough);

Simplification of shape and form allows the people looking at it to add their own interpretation of the sculpture. In colour are they all just one base colour, all earthy. Exaggeration of form, they all share a morphemic kind of feel.

Background/Scenario:

In this case you will need to research 3D primitive art works dating back to the Neolithic* period. We will visit the British Museum to draw from examples, and you will then try to connect this research to contemporary illustration work. A key example we will look at is Shaun Tan

Primitive Art: The term “Primitive Art” is a rather vague (and unavoidably ethnocentric) description which refers to the cultural artefacts of “primitive” peoples - that is, those ethnic groups deemed to have a relatively low standard of technological development by Western standards.

*This term is usually not associated with developed societies but can almost definitely be found in most cultures.

Neolithic: Neo means “new”, Lithic meaning “stone”- New-Stone (stone age/new stone age; creating something new from old stone)

Key research

Shaun Tan and his book “The Sining Bones”.

Independent task - 30 mins

Find examples of Neolithic Figures online

Terracotta Horse from the Tang Dynasty

Circa AD 618-906

Terracotta Horse from Northern Wei Dynasty

Circa AD 386-535

Find examples of Shaun Tan’s work for “The Singing Bones”

Find examples of Henry Moore and Antony Gormley (Find out who they are too)

Henry Moore:

British Henry Moore, born 30 July, 1898 in Castleford, Yorkshire and died on the 31 August, 1986 in Perry Green. He was an important figure in art, best known for this bronze figures that can be found around the world as public art work. He was the son of a miner, and the seventh of eight children.

Below are some examples of his work:

Antony Gormley:

Antony Gormley is a British sculptor, born in London, 1950. He is well known for his many sculptures displayed as public pieces of artwork around the world. In the biography on his website, his work is described as something “(...) that investigate[s] the relationship of the human body to space.”

Below are some examples of his work:

After being introduces to the task of the afternoon; being to create some quick sketches of golems in our sketchbooks whilst keeping in mind the brief focusing on neolithic artwork, we immediately after went and met up in the ceramics workshop. Here we would be introduced to the basics of safety while using the different tools, as well as what techniques we should be using when working with clay and ceramic tools.

Below is a picture of some of the ideas I came up with:

One of the first things we went over where all the different materials were located in the workshop, including brushes, clay wire cutters, loop tools, knives, shaping/modelling tools, sponges, rolling pins, slip and so on.

Personally, learning all the techniques was quite a mouthful, especially because I haven’t worked all that much with clay in the past; maybe only once or twice a long time ago, but it felt more like a refresher, than a wave of “I’m new to all of this, what is going on...”, which was comforting to some extend.

By the end of the term, we are meant to create something like what is shown below; a completed character (or multiple characters) that have been fired:

For the first lesson we were going to use stone-based clay:

For the stone-based clay, we were to use HTG reclaim slip. Slip is simply described as a the glue used to assemble different pieces of clay together so it sticks and stays put during and after firing.

After the introduction of learning the basic techniques, most notably how to create something hollow, we began working and testing the medium out for ourselves.

youtube

I decided to go with the figures I sketches, outlined below:

For this golem, I decided to try out incorporating a mechanism where the face has two different expressions; the face is supposed to be able to spin around within the figure so the face can be changed to ones liking, but this would first be put together after firing the clay.

Out of the figures shown in the picture above, I made the unicorn, the tall figure to the right and the two short and stubby ones in the front.

Afternoon:

We did some work, doing Unit 9: Opportunities for Progressions in Art & Design, all things that help us work towards building an understanding and idea of what we would like to do after finishing this or the extended diploma for Animation & Illustration.

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