#this will have no negative consequences whatsoever

[shiominato]

2pm breakfast 🔥

[neverendingford]

.

[elytrafemme]

as an update bc of how inconclusively the group meeting wound up i have been too afraid to actually do anything out of fear of who to invite with me so unless i have a specific obligation (thankfully i did yesterday which ended up in a group hangout that made me really happy) i have literally not been leaving my bedroom. erm. poses cutely

[v-iv-rusty]

me when i tell myself I'm going to start eating better for the sake of my physical health/wellbeing vs me also having an anxiety disorder and a years long in development coping mechanism of stress eating to distract myself

[sntechsupport]

Discord?

If I give you a link, you all are going to flood in there and you'll want me to do stuff, won't you?

Okay, so I am saying it right now and right here: That Discord is to complain to other people, chill out with, you know, other Players who got kind of distorted due to all the playing.

Also if you do not behave, I am not afraid to cleave around with the bansword.

[shepscapades]

Surely this will have no negative consequences whatsoever!

[dykesbat]

just remembered how one of my plans to stop myself from having nightmares was to just watch a bunch of wholesome shit and here i am watching pmmm

[syrinq]

mfw in hindsight there obviously was something Wrong With Me when i was growing up but i didn't think of it as a possiblity whatsoever because of environmental circumstances & I Am Just Lazy And Useless And Doing Fuck All By Nature & I Thought I Fixed My Biggest Issues By Therapy Already And I Didn't Think I Could Have Any More

but then said behaviours continue even in better environments and you're suddenly out of uni wondering what the actual fuck is up and it's into the downward spiral to wonderland from there

i'm the frog being dissected in biology class. i'm the dissector at the same time. i peel out an overgrown lump out my dissected frog ass and see that in fact i do have Behaviours. now i have to find the origins of this behaviour & unfortunately the best i can do is speculate. which sucks because i need to 100% know what's caused by what else in order to understand it and deal with it better

(blingee sparkle gif effects) Unfortunately Nothing Is Ever Certain With Comorbidity, Baby! Nor Is It Certain It Is Comorbidity To Begin With (This Is The Impostorism Talking)

on one hand, learning frog anatomy by poking its ass & getting to know myself better to deal with it. cool, i guess. on the other.

god. why.

[nebu-lime]

“Wow i love teasing men with sharp teeth and violent tendencies. This will have no negative consequences whatsoever”

Here’s them separately under the cut!

[pileofpawns]

Vargfren eats a tasty mushroom! I’m sure this will have no negative consequences whatsoever :)

[alluralater]

not interested in talking shit so instead, this is your long, thorough, and healthy reminder that you owe nothing to someone on the internet simply because they’re infatuated with you. sexting with someone one time doesn’t mean you owe them anything later on. not romantically and not sexually. the moment someone begins regarding you as an object to be used at their whim, like property that someone else stole from them— drop that fucking block and be done with it. no one is entitled to you.

if someone is telling you that they’re not a jealous person and their actions are completely opposite to their claims, drop that fucking block. i talk a lot on here already about healthy communication, consent both romantically and sexually, how to establish healthy boundaries, and how to identify when someone is not interested in respecting your boundaries. it blows my mind that people on here can follow me, like my posts about these things, and then turn around and treat others as if for their own consumption. this behavior from people like that is often a pattern and can be seen the same looking back. it’s not on you to do anything for someone that lacks respect for your autonomy both romantically and sexually, especially when you have no attachments to that person and they don't even know you. a pattern of unreasonable behavior and lashing out is more than enough reason to block someone and be done with them. if someone cannot extend basic decency to you when you have done nothing wrong to them, they do not deserve you (your time, attention, interest, affection) otherwise. and if it happens in reaction to your happiness completely separate of them??— fucking BLOCK.

how someone chooses to lash out at others when there has been no provocation of any kind is extremely telling of how they conduct themselves when they are dealing with feelings of insecurity, resentment, and perceived rejection. you can absolutely do your best to empathize and understand it, but know that you are not responsible for anything other than that. it is not your job to make yourself smaller because someone is used to never dealing with the consequences of their actions when they want to feel momentarily bigger. bullying is super strange and weird but when it happens, you can see it pretty clearly for what it is and who that person is. someone can be very well-read and still very inexperienced when it comes to healthy communication and the handling of interpersonal relationships. lack of healthy communication and a disregard for the autonomy of others is loud with these types of people but they're good about keeping it mostly under wraps until it becomes an inconvenience for them to be kind and when they want attention in any way possible, even negatively. accountability is also going to be unlikely so yeah, if you notice a pattern— block them.

and speaking more specifically, if you are the kind of person that becomes infatuated with people even though you don't know them very well whatsoever, if you're the type to get jealous over perceived "theft" of another person because their attention even momentarily sways in another direction (as if you were owed it in the first place), if you're the type to lash out at others because both your impulse control and your temper are held on a hair trigger— maybe consider the thoughts/well-being of others first and just don't sexually interact online. the lack of interest to healthily communicate is and will be damaging to yourself and others. if your first thought is to lash out before even attempting communication of your feelings, you need to look inward and do some reflection. your actions affect others. a momentary release of pent up anger for you is pain for someone else. invalidating someone's identity because you want to feel better about yourself is super disappointing behavior, especially when that person was nothing but sweet to you prior to your many instances of perceived rejection. that is about you and no one else. don't project your feelings of insecurity onto others. be kind to yourself and do better. hurting people does cost you something. if it seems to cost you nothing, take some time and wonder on why that is. if you feel entitled to others both sexually and romantically, you're doing something wrong and it needs to be addressed by you and someone you feel safe to talk to about that before you go around hurting more people who've treated you with nothing but kindness.

i know this was long but you all know how it works here. i’m not going to shave down information for anyone’s convenience or lack of care to read it all. some things need to be said in full and to completion. topics like this deserve to take up space on my blog. this is both a safe space and an educational one <3

[v-iv-rusty]

something Ive been thinking abt lately is how abusive parents love to pull out the 'when you're older you'll understand why Im doing this' excuse, but the older I get the less I understand literally anything that was done to me as a child

[autistichalsin]

Very cool that large portions of the population have become immunocompromised due to COVID and no one cares because "if we acknowledge COVID isn't over that means masking" so we're just straight up letting people die so some selfish fucking pricks don't have to face the nightmare of possibly wearing face coverings for a few hours a day. I'm sure this will have absolutely no negative consequences down the line at all whatsoever. Nothing to fear when a generation reaches adulthood without a functioning immune system because they've repeatedly contracted a virus that damages T cells. And there are currently no bad effects happening right now either. Nope. There are definitely not a bunch of fucking idiots whose refusal to cover their fucking face is going to ruin thousands of lives. Nope. All is well.

Everything is fucked and I hate it.

[clavicle-clive]

I don't really know what to do with the Censored Abnormality, so I choose to ignore it which I'm sure will have no negative consequences whatsoever.

[meldingintheunderdark]

Halsin, fatherhood and his ability to hurt

Unpopular opinion: any post mentioning Halsin having a plethora of biological children makes me feel queasy. And I say this when I hc Sszazar will bear Halsin's kid because the need to raise a far better daughter than Orin for Bhaal, then just to raise a daughter for himself, was the pivotal point in his filial faith as the Dark Urge.

How would Halsin take care of such a huge family? How would he avoid neglecting his children? If the childbearers are present too, how does he communicate with them to co-parent? How would he create a positive environment between his bio kids and the orphans without favoritism?

I know Daddy Halsin is a meme, however the title he loves so dearly is terribly heavy with responsibilities. In my opinion, as Halsin is in game, he will neglect the orphans until he realizes that it's simply impossible to be Daddy Halsin. It may take a day or a week till he's dead tired and ready to abandon the concept of a traditional family with one strong and loving parental figure. Art Cullagh writes on “[...] the children of all ages in Halsin's care”. It seems Halsin is indeed the sole caregiver. Obviously, nine whole wagons of children need far more than Daddy Halsin telling them stories. They need daddies, mommies, guardians, caregivers. They need many adults. The kids who lost their parents also need to grieve. I cannot believe every single child is calling him Daddy as if their parents did not die so recently and/or they don't have any trauma regarding their parents or the concept of a parental figure... or that every single child loves Halsin. Sometimes, personalities just don't match.

So, to add a lot of biological children to these nine whole wagons of kids... I guess I don't like this headcanon because it implies Halsin is downright irresponsible. Bearing and birthing a child are difficult and dangerous. If he's the one with a bun in the oven, it means he's willing to put his body through such an ordeal without reserve, over and over again. Halsin isn’t dumb. He's a healer. He knows firsthand that something natural can maim or kill. He's a druid. He knows the strain people put on nature. I can hardly imagine him spawning kids left and right without a care in the world just because he can.

Nine whole wagons of children... It’s already so many orphans. Hence my belief he will neglect them at first, overjoyed as he is to be Daddy Halsin, blinded by his title, but then he will quickly understand he must raise them alongside many other adults and work together as a tight-knit community. He won't be their only dad. Maybe he will feel jealous of the other daddies, wounded even. Maybe he will worry a lot about the quality of his parenting. Maybe he will hardly digest the fact not every kid he saved will love him as a father. Undeniably, caring for the orphans will also make him think about his own family and the pain and joy associated with these bittersweet memories.

Raising children is never easy. I do dislike headcanons describing Halsin and fatherhood as smooth sailing. Perhaps I'm simply an unfunny person entrenched in my own traumas, thus I cannot see Halsin as a wonderful, confident, faultless dad. Furthermore, kids aren't sharing one mind. Like adults, they are extremely different from each other. These kids went through war, abandonment and extreme poverty too. It's unrealistic to imagine they would all adore Halsin or even that living together with so many others won't have any negative consequences whatsoever.

I must admit the way Halsin is represented with this headcanon, and some others, bothers me. He's too perfect. His traumas, depression and grief tend to be acknowledged, but not his ability to hurt people. His actions hurt the Grove and the tieflings deeply. He tries to be good, however he isn't a saint either. He can and does hurt himself and others while attempting to do good. Certainly, it’s completely unintentional when others are involved. Halsin isn’t cruel. He’s a good man at heart, yet he’s flawed.

My English fails me. What I’m trying to say is that Halsin is so often framed in an extremely positive light in game and in the headcanons I read here, especially when the scenarios are about children. I truly understand writing on potentially triggering themes is not a good experience, to say the least. Nevertheless, writing Halsin as a good man who can do no harm to anyone he loves/likes does him a great disservice. He did hurt his druids and the tieflings he sheltered indirectly because he threw himself body and soul into his long-lasting obsession. So self-sacrificing he tends to forget the world around him. Once again, I understand the need to have a comfort character who is soft, caring, hot, who suffers but accepts help from his loved one... and yet, I also don’t.

In the end, the problem is rooted deep in my interpretation of Halsin. The very same lines don’t resonate with me the same way they do with other players, as does everything else in our world. But positive only Halsin is overwhelmingly represented, I honestly wonder if I'm too obtuse. People seem to see hope and joy when he talks about the children whereas all I can see is the damage he will cause temporarily because he’s too eager to realize his dream, too focused on a somewhat traditional family structure with a single parent, too inexperienced. Painful moments before peace and happiness. He doesn’t mention other settlers as caregivers. Moreover, the commune represents such a logistical nightmare. He also runs back to Thaniel’s realm without decompressing or processing his own problems, his new romance in a long while, their life-threatening adventures, etc.

It's the hill I’m willing to die on. Halsin is kind, but he can hurt people. He will neglect the kids because he cannot physically and emotionally cater to their every need. Of course, he will correct his mistakes in a heartbeat. This one-dimensional Halsin shining like a beacon of light in the darkness is dull. It’s so often about his kindness/love in the fandom, sometimes his pain. A person who hurts someone else unintentionally is not instantaneously evil. Halsin is not evil if he hurts the kids because he cannot give each of them enough attention while he is trying to take care of them with all his heart. His ability to hurt gives him depth as much as love, gentleness, selflessness.

Once again, it's all about our personal preferences, I get it. It isn't a big deal. It's merely isolating to have such an important school of thought about Halsin dominating his tags. I would love to read stuff about Halsin frustrated because a teenager keeps running away from the commune. Halsin crying because he can hear a child repeatedly having night terrors. Halsin shouting because he is at his wits’ end, scaring them, then agonizing over his mistake, clueless how to mend things. Halsin having no more libido because fatherhood and the commune are so demanding, and not feeling alright about its absence. Halsin at loss with a kid who isn't like others, unable to interact with them the same way. Halsin distraught that a group of orphans has stopped calling him daddy, then envious because they call another settler daddy. Ashamed of his envy. Halsin being unfair when he thinks he’s being fair. Halsin, who is so modest, too modest, subconsciously teaching the children to be humble, too humble, then realizing they’re becoming their harshest critics, like he is with himself. Trying, sometimes failing, occasionally hurting himself and others, then trying again to be better and do better. The fact he's 350 years old doesn't mean he has nothing to learn anymore. He says so himself.

One can love intensely, strive to be kind, and still hurt people unintentionally. Halsin is no exception.

[thebreakfastgenie]

My take on "white woman tears" is that the tears are real. There are people who can cry at will, but tears (or the lack of them) are most often an involuntary physiological response.

I think in most cases it's just that being told you're wrong and hurting someone is a humiliating experience, especially when it's true. Specific to the context of calling out racism, a lot of white people don't really understand systemic racism and see it more as there are The RacistsTM who are the bad people. I think the popular white American image of a racist is, like, George Wallace. This especially applies when you are dealing with white people who think of themselves as tolerant and are not only being criticized, they are being asked to reevaluate what may be a pillar of their sense of self.

The real issue with white women who burst into tears when they're called out for racism is that they have re-centered the conversation around their feelings. For white people who are actually committed to antiracism, one of the basic steps is learning that systemic racism is more important than their personal feelings. People are more likely to notice rank they lack than rank they have an abundance of, so white women tend to be more aware of how they are affected by misogyny than how they uphold racism. Once again, part of antiracist work is becoming conscious of that. You see this too with working class white people who have a negative emotional reaction to being told they have white privilege, because their understanding of their lives revolves around the economic privilege they lack.

The way "white woman tears" is so often framed is "[white] women are manipulative cunts who can all burst into tears on cue." This perpetuates misogynistic myths about women. It's also worth noting that privileged white people bursting into tears when faced with the possibility of consequences for their actions is not a female phenomenon. The poster child is Brett Kavanaugh, who is not only a man but a man who burst into tears when he was called out for sexually assaulting at least one woman, and he did not even face any real consequences. I also don't think Brett Kavanugh was crying on cue. When you've been protected from consequences your whole life, even the slightest possibility that you might face them now is a very emotional experience. His tears did not make me feel bad for him in the slightest, but that doesn't mean they were fake.

Which brings me around to another thought, which I think a more productive way to address this would be to stop treating tears like an emotional trump card. You don't have to comfort someone just because they are crying, especially if you know they're crying because they've been rightly called out. Crying is also not the only manifestation of negative emotional reaction to confronting racism. Arguing and defensively talking over people of color frequently comes from the same place. I think we tend to associate arguing with white men, and therefore see it as more logical, but it isn't.

I also want to acknowledge white women crying is especially frustrating for women of color and Black women in particular, because they have been forced since birth to limit their emotional expression. To return to Supreme Court examples, I cannot even imagine the media reaction if Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson had shown any emotional response whatsoever to the Republican senators who would not stop talking about child exploitation materials during her confirmation hearing.

I also want to be absolutely clear that white emotions after being called out for racism should not ever be the responsibility of people of color. Antiracist work can be very uncomfortable for white people. It is our responsibility to work that out.