#this year has been INCREDIBLY taxing on me mentally due to my struggle with academics and my adhd

[westywallowing]

exploring creative careers?? who knew could be kind of fun??

[ia21136melly]

EVALUATION

DESCRIPTION

The main task was to pick a brief from the annual design competitions and complete it. I had chosen to do a Durex one revolving around sex and disability. It was nice to see as I had previously been talking to a friend about how I was tempted to do this task as my specialist project but I went a different route. The outcome was I missed the competition deadline due to misunderstanding when it had been extended too. I found out the day after it had closed that I had missed it. I was not bothered by this as I do not care for something that is like “work for exposure” type of tasks. Especially when these companies have millions of pounds and a whole team. From my discussions with employers they do not care if you won a competition more than they care about your ability to do the job they are after, working in teams, being up to date and so on. I was however concerned about failing the module due to not being able to enter. I emailed my tutor but never got a response but when checking I had all the work to submit I discovered our moodle have had an update which stated I wouldn’t fail.  

My outcome was a mock-up drawing of a pop-up shop, an advert board and poster idea. I did not go too much into the exact details as my brief was wanting the concept and ideas more than they wanted examples of what they would look like. I also discovered a new way of working using the Kanban board method along side the pomodor method I was already using. I decided to place a 25 minute task on each post it note so that when it came to using the pomodoro method I always knew what I was doing. I found progressing through this module much easier once I started using these two combined.

 FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS There was a lot of feeling throughout this module. I have been having trouble with some peers who have been judging me harshly due to my attendance and who generally have attitude towards me. I was going through a difficult patch mentally and physically with a few health flares. I managed to be hopeful at the start but that quickly dropped. Things then became waves of ups and downs, thinking I did well considering my shorter time to finish them, to confusion over how my work was misunderstood, to understanding why and realising I have misunderstood the brief, to feeling rather incapable of completing anything. There were many negative feelings towards the course and topic throughout too.

Before I was feeling excited for the project, I much prefer working of social change topics over selling products. That was back when my understanding was to sell that, I later realised it was still selling a product just in a different way. After I felt exhausted, the project, although short, was incredibly taxing for me. I struggled a lot with understanding and due to the stress load, ended up having little ideas flowing.

During the situation I kept thinking about how frustrated I was over not understanding the work task, when I thought I did I had learned that I in fact have not. I kept thinking that I was not cut out for this course. Once I got some better understanding of the task it did become a lot easier and I found things flowed better. Now I think I handled the situation incredibly well considering all I was going through. It may have not felt it at the time, but it is resilience training none the less. Learning how to not only balance but accept my limitation is critical if I am going to have sustainability within my academic life. I also think I could have done with having more support from staff members. Although I felt bitter about it during the time, I acknowledge I did not do the best job at continuously reaching out. I attempted once and then gave-up. I also forgot about our technician who I later learned offers fantastic advice and could have possibly helped me too. Because it was not technical issues, I was having difficulty with but the understanding I was not entirely sure who to go too about this. I think there is a lot I could have done differently, and I hope I remember to do them if I experience this again.

  EVALUATION

I think my concept ideas worked well and was appropriate. I would have liked to have had time and skills to have made a 3D modelling of the pop-up shop idea, along with figures. My ability to finish the task despite challenges also went well.

I do not think my final design went well, I struggled with knowing how to present it. From the research I had done it appeared that a concept board does not follow a set pattern. I also think the quality is not as strong as it could be. I am hoping to develop my skills more so that it will not be as bad next time.

 ANALYSIS

Digging deeper into understanding certain aspects of advertising is why the things that did go well, worked well. I struggled to understand things despite reading a lot about them. Usually when this happens it is because there isn’t a set route or rule to follow. It can take me some time to process/figure it out.

The things that did not go well fell down to a lack of understanding and skills.  Being stuck in a negative mindset also played a big part in why things did not go as well as they could have. If I haven’t have given up I may have had more time to put time into developing ideas and skills. 

A lot of knowledge came from a book called “The Advertising Concept Book by Pete Barry”. I found myself coming back to the book each time I felt stuck and unable to progress. Other resources include a youtube channel called “The Futur”. 

 CONCLUSION

Even though it was through many errors and overwhelming times, I learned a lot of valuable lessons around my design process and workflow. These have been developing more after each task and I really believe I have found a system that works well for me, especially with my limitations and fluctuation in my ability to work. It reduced the stress which will reduce the symptoms and it also makes completing my work more accessible during those times when my body feels that it is “not quite unable but not able”. I have learned that on those days I should limit my workload and not try to push past it. When I push past I end up needing additional days to recover and lose more time, this creates a very negative cycle which is difficult to get out of, especially with the added pressure of having four weeks to complete a module.    

The situation could have been positive had more time gone into making sure I understood the task earlier on. Being given information I missed from medical appointment absence would have also benefited me. This could be via better information available on moodle or having a note taker in the lessons like it used to be the year prior. Having a better understand of how to implement the pomodoro and Kanban board techniques would have been most valuable in making the experience more positive, as they did towards the end.

Skills I will be needing to better handle these situations are assertiveness and stress management. With the short deadlines and not being fully informed from not being in, I found it difficult to complete the task. I spent a lot of time confused over what a concept was which resulted in my asking many friends and spending hours researching online and in books, to simply understand it. Had I had better assertive skills I would have told my tutor that the three examples they gave me did not make any sense and that they needed to explain it to me in a different way. I have always struggled with asking for help in an appropriate way. I often feel like a burden from needing things explaining differently. This is something I will continue to work on. Illustrator skills and knowledge of typography may have helped to reduce the time spent working which would have created less stress for the short time. 

I could have expressed my difficulty more to my tutor and earlier, I tried too but experienced a negative vibe that I was being annoying and wasting their time. I could have also gone to our technician who also has dyslexia and may have been able to offer me advice or have been able to explain what it is in a more accessible way. When I become stress I typically withdrawal and shut down. Although this helps, it is not always the best option. Especially when I do not understand what work I am doing.I have still not discovered an effective solution for this. I am so used to masking that I don’t realize I am doing it at times.

 ACTION PLAN

If I could do anything differently, knowing what I know now, I would have spent more time understanding the task and planning my workload. Because of the time limit and me already missing a week I was panicking to catch up. Not spending that time getting help to understand the module caused a lot of confusion and stress from the delay of understanding it and burning out. I would also have set up my work task using a combination of the pomodoro and kanban board technique.A lot of the time I realize I don’t know enough too late, so sometimes I may also think I am fine before later realizing I need more information on a particular task.

Other than to continue working on my program skills which are going to be a consistent, long term development. Skills to Further develop that will help me in future projects is further developing how I am using the pomodoro technique. I discovered this technique last semester and have been implementing it throughout all my work ever since. I have been having a lot of success using this technique. However, I found it difficult to adapt towards the longer more development tasks (such as creating posters/logos/other design aspects). Through trial and error, I started to get a good feel a on how to do this. While searching for productivity techniques I discovered something called the kanban board. It is commonly used within big teams on long term projects. I thought this would be a great skill to master, not just because it was helping my workflow, but it seems useful for my future careers.

To make sure I will act different next time, I will create a check list of things to follow at the start of each brief/project. The list will include empty slots for me to rephrase the learning outcomes and how I will be required to prove them. They will also have a copy of my design process to remind me of steps to take in case I face time that is overwhelming again. It will also have my 25-minute slots and work break-up plan so I can implement my two techniques right away. I would start using a white board I purchase towards the end of my module, which is going to be used for my kanban board. Also towards the end of the module I repurpose some draws to be where I kept all my project notes. Prior to this I had a folder and A3 draw but I didn’t keep everything together. Depending on what room I was working in, my work would be left there. Last semester I was finding work I hadn’t submitted and forgot I had done. With the new draws set up I can keep all sizes of work in a draw for each module, including any reference books and other useful items related to the module. By doing all the above I won’t have to think and when I experience difficulty focusing, brain fog or other side effects of my conditions which impact my studies, I will be able to focus on one small 25-minute task at a time. My work will hopefully not end up lost and all over the place but instead be easy to access. I could even talk to my tutors ahead of time, share my plan and explain that I will be able to preform better if I was given the time to allow myself to set-up how I am going to tackle a project. Maybe they could give me time to sit with the brief before our class so I can already have it written up and ready to do the class task.