#okay so i just finished my first year of American College and i was. unimpressed to say the least

[westywallowing]

exploring creative careers?? who knew could be kind of fun??

[rocket-bear]

shinsena ghost fic outline

SO. on my last list of shinsena fic ideas I had written "shinsena ghost AU (yes, like the patrick swayze movie) but with an actually happy ending". I have decided that I'm not actually going to write this fic because 1) it would take forever and I have other ones that are bigger priorities for me and 2) the inspiration for it was really the MOUNTAIN of IT fix-it fics I was reading in early 2020 because I was Going Through It where I then shunted that inspiration over into a fandom I was actually comfortable writing for, and at this point I have moved past that stage and no longer need the catharsis,

BUT! I do really like the bits that I did already write for it, and I still love the idea, so I'm just going to go ahead and post the WIP bits that I did get finished, and then flesh out what the rest of my plan was after!

The fic takes place in Sena's second year of college! It's a ghostfic so, y'know, warning for major character death and copious discussion of grief, haha, but it gets better!!! Also, in addition to ShinSena there's BG mentions of HiruMamo in both the fic excerpts and bulletpoints for the rest of the planned plot. Text below the cut is about 6k words!

---------

"Aw, beans," is the first thing Sena hears after he dies.

He doesn't really process it in the moment, too busy blinking up at the bright, unclouded sun and distantly noticing that it doesn't hurt his eyes. He sits up, running through the last few moments in his mind-- a bouncy ball dotted with pink flowers, skipping merrily over the sidewalk into the street, a girl in her school smock tottering on chubby legs after it, a car unavoidably close, his view of everything blurring as he throws himself forward without even thinking about it--

Oh.

"EHHHH," he shrieks, and scrambles away from his body, and it doesn't come with him.

"I'm going to be in ;so much trouble," that voice says again, and Sena whips around because it's the only thing he can actually hear clearly, even though he's pretty sure he should be able to hear-- the other people around him, looking at his body without looking at him, everyone unharmed but most of them in tears, and he doesn't want to think about that.

So he looks, and sees-- something. It almost looks like an afterimage, at first, the kind of light-dark luminescent spots your eyes put up when you look away from a light you've been staring at too long, but it stays put as Sena stares at it, a kind of void of shifting light just stamped in the way of his view of the bushes lining the sidewalk.

"Um," he says, and the Thing kind of goes more dark-light than light-dark for a moment as it… sighs?

"Yeah, sorry, you're not getting me at my best, this wasn't supposed to happen," it says, and Sena feels like he would be hyperventilating if he had lungs, but he doesn't anymore.

"No, listen," the Thing says, and it starts to get bigger, which Sena belatedly realizes is because it's moved closer to him. With the way it doesn't actually seem to take up space, it's hard to tell. "Let's move away from here, okay? It's going to be hard for you to listen with all this going on."

And, well-- Sena casts a glance back behind him, to the people with their hands over their mouths and tears in their eyes and the pointless things they're doing to his body to try to bring him back to it, and he scrambles up to his feet and follows the thing.

"Okay, here goes," the Thing says as they move further away from the-- the scene, and then its voice changes. "Fear not, mortal, for your time on this plane has elapsed, and you have accomplished all that you were intended for. Your current form--"

"Wait," Sena says, fighting against the mesmerizing effect of the Thing's shifting lights in combination with its new, multilayered voice, high and low at once but somehow soothing. "I thought you said this wasn't supposed to happen??"

"Well, okay, yeah," the Thing says, its voice reedy and thin once more. "Your time actually isn't supposed to be up, but-- okay, did you know you're like, really fast? Like crazy fast. I was just supposed to nudge the driver once they stopped the car in time, you know, typical near-death experience stuff, but you jumped right through me before I was in place."

"You kill people by touching them?!" Sena skitters away from the Thing, and gets the distinct impression that the silvery flush it pulses in response is decidedly unimpressed.

"I can't kill you again," it says. "And we don't kill things, anyway. We just… mark them as finished. I got you out of the oven too soon, that's all."

That sounds a lot like it was only different from killing things in terms of word choice to Sena, but he doesn't say so.

"C-can-- can we fix it?" He asks instead, the first shards of ice-cold realization sinking in at last. He's dead. He's dead?

The Thing flares sigh-dark, and says, "You know this kind of thing has only happened like, four times before? Ever! Since the dawn of humanity! It's been like 20,000 years since the last time! I don't know off the top of my head, kid, I'm gonna have to look it up."

"Then-- there's a chance? How long will that take? What if-- I mean-- they're gonna take me to the hospital--"

The ice shards sink further into his body, but the Thing's voice is dismissive.

"If there's a way, that's not the body you're going to be coming back to; there's no way we're gonna be able to do this without rolling back the clock. So don't worry about the morgue, okay?"

Which-- was a relief, but Sena feels an empty sensation at the word "morgue" that he's pretty sure would have been nausea if he had a working stomach left to experience it.

Some of that must show on his face because the Thing comes to an abrupt stop, and its voice is more gentle as it says, "Okay, gameplan. If there's a way to get you back, it's gonna have something to do with the energy left over from your presence among the living. So go see your friends and family and see what you can figure out. Right now, you're a ghost, so there's got to be some way to tap into that energy."

Sena nods a little numbly at first, working on auto-pilot, and then nods more firmly as he actually processes the Thing's words. A plan! That means-- there's something he can actually do, while the Thing goes to-- "look it up." That's good! A plan!

And then, the Thing goes yellowish, and its tone turns apologetic.

"And… Speaking of ghost stuff, I didn't get to finish this part before. Your current form will let you move around this plane to visit your loved ones and grant yourself any closure you desire, but you won't be able to interact with the living world, and if we're not able to fix this in time-- when the time comes, you'll have to make a choice. Move on completely to the next plane, or stay here with your loved ones until there are none left who remember you."

Sena blinks, going still, and the Thing glows even more yellow.

"So we've got about [a month] to figure this thing out. I'll do what I can, kid. You hang tight."

And then it's gone, and Sena is left alone on the sidewalk.

He does all that he can do, and goes to find Mamori.

------

He doesn't think through the consequences of that until he gets to her apartment and finds her in tears and Hiruma on the phone, calling them an escort to the hospital. Every awful minute of that first day feels like nothing more than a smear in Sena's memory by the time his funeral comes around. He spends the time in-between trying his best to do something, anything, that will let his friends and parents know that he's still there. He does his absolute best to go full Hollywood Haunting on everyone he knows, trying to knock over pictures or rattle windows or flick lights on and off, but nothing works. Every once in a while, when he's flopped beside Mamori on the floor as she goes through photo albums, he almost thinks she hears him as he talks about the photos she's flipping through-- but it always just ends up being a fresh round of quiet tears that brings Hiruma over to her side.

The funeral seems to be no different. He'd hoped, somehow, that maybe having so many loved ones gathered in one place to think about him would somehow give him the energy to make himself solid-- and there are so many people there, not just Sena's family and closest friends, but people from nearly every team in the Tokyo American football community, some of them who he only ever remembered seeing across the field.

All of the original Devil Bats are there, of course. Kurita sobs his way through the service. The Ha-Ha Brothers stand stony-faced, and Juumonji scrubs a rough hand across his eyes, but Sena never sees any tears. Suzuna clings to Monta's arm as they both cry openly with Riku in the row behind Sena's parents, Mamori, and Hiruma.

His parents cry. Mamori seems too exhausted to, just sitting quietly and taking in the service with bruised red eyes. Hiruma puts his arm around her shoulder at one point, and Sena finds himself surprised by how much tenderness he's seen between them in the last few days. Hiruma had handled almost all of the arrangements, actually-- Mamori and Sena's parents making the decisions, and Hiruma diligently rising from each discussion to make the appropriate phone calls.

In the middle rows, Sena finds himself looking at Shin and Sakuraba. He shouldn't have been surprised to see them-- and he really wasn't, not really, he knew he would be devastated and would definitely show up if the situation was reversed-- but something on Shin's face startles him into looking again.

He looks tired. Sena doesn't think he's ever seen Shin tired, before, not even after playing full-out through an entire game, not even after the most intensive of training. But Shin's face is undeniably drawn, and the skin underneath his eyes is bruise-dark.

Sakuraba tears up, and Shin doesn't, but it's Sakuraba who lays a comforting hand on Shin's shoulder. [UNFINISHED SCENE-- also I had intended to go back and make this scene more accurately reflect Japanese (vs Western) funeral traditions but have not done that since, I'm not finishing the fic]

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He finds himself seeking out one of his and Shin's old training routes from high school, when they lived close enough that it made sense to share. It's been years since he ran this route, but it makes sense, he figures, that he would be revisiting old memories like this. It was a good route, anyway-- at one point it ran alongside the river, and Sena remembers reaching it on hot summer days, and noticing that even Shin tipped his face into the breeze when the sun was really beating down.

He walks along the path at first, but before long finds himself jogging, the force of memory and habit alike drawing him into those quick strides. It doesn't feel the same without the sensation of the wind on his face, or the heat of the sun on his body, or even the sweat beading up stickily between his skin and his clothes, but it's something.

Without fatigue or fear of obstacles to keep him vigilant, Sena finds himself startled before too long by the sound of steady footfalls coming up behind him. He automatically shifts his path to make way-- though it doesn't matter much now, he thinks with a frown-- and looks up as the lone jogger makes to pass him.

It's Shin.

Sena's not-heart squeezes painfully at seeing him unexpectedly, and Sena gapes.

"Shin-san--" He gasps, and of course Shin doesn't respond or look his way. Sena swallows the painful reminder and adjusts his pace to match Shin's.

They run together, and of course it's quiet, because Shin doesn't know that he has company. Not that companionable silence was atypical for their runs together before-- running was for focusing on technique, including breathing, so they would save the chatting for before and after.

Sena wonders if Shin had kept to running this path all along-- he was so sure that they'd both abandoned it when they'd made their way to university. Or at least, Shin had apologetically told him so, when he'd moved on to Oujou University and Sena was still in his third year at Deimon.

Maybe Shin's feeling nostalgic too, Sena thinks, and then shakes his head. He doesn't want to be sad, and it's nice to have Shin at his side, even if Shin doesn't know he's there.

He tries to sink into the feeling of running. It's still hard-- he can't feel much of anything, after all-- but with Shin there, it's a little easier to fall into old memories and let those guide him. He can pretend-- to feel the gentle breeze off the river cooling the sweat on his face, to feel the push of the sidewalk under his feet launching him into his next step, to feel how the sun is hotter on his back and shoulders than anywhere else as it crawls its way up the sky.

It almost feels like normal, finding that rhythm alongside Shin that has their steps striking the pavement in tandem, Sena's extra stride to make up for their heights a little accented half-note; that peaceful, focused haze that has them inhaling and exhaling in synch. It's so perfectly familiar that Sena can almost imagine a lump rising in his throat and the sting of tears in his eyes, nearly overcome with the twin sensations of having and loss--

--when Shin startles hard beside him and skids to a stop, with a gasp that has Sena's blood running cold before he even looks back for him, the image of the oncoming truck flashing through his mind.

But there's no truck here, of course. They're on a running trail, on a totally separate level than the road, but it's obvious enough what drew that terrifying, uncharacteristic noise from Shin's lungs when Sena looks back, and his eyes meet Shin's.

Shin sees him.

[UNFINISHED SCENE, this is the last of the actual fic that I wrote!]

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FROM THERE here was the plan:

- Shin being able to see him only lasts a split second. Shin's super shaken and keeps looking around and rubbing his eyes for a couple moments, and then he turns around and walks back to the train, and Sena-- thinking, like, "holy shit, Shin never skips training"-- follows him back, because even though it's super heart-breaking seeing Shin so shaken up it's also the closest he's gotten to making any progress the whole time

- Shin gets back to his dorm and just like. sits down at his table with his head in his hands. Sena's motivation to keep trying to get his attention kind of dries up so he pokes around Shin's dorm room instead and notices, like. a bunch of half-eaten meals/snacks in the trash, "Practice" scratched out on his calendar for the next few weeks, unmade bed, evidence that Shin's only really gotten dressed to go out jogging over the last few days and is only wearing his pajamas otherwise-- he's just not doing good.

- Just as Sena's like, really starting to grasp this, Sakuraba shows up at the door-- Shin gets up to answer the door with his back to Sena and like, whatever Sakuraba sees on Shin's face just stops him in his tracks and he immediately pulls Shin into a hug, which Sena is kind of shocked to see that Shin totally sinks into

- Sakuraba sits down with Shin at the table and they talk. Shin admits that he thought he saw Sena while he was jogging, and both of them are just brushing it off as like, a grief-induced sensory memory, stuff like that happens, etc. Sakuraba comforts him and encourages Shin to take it easy, it's okay to take time off of even his own personal training, it's okay if he needs more time, and also like fusses about Shin not getting enough to eat especially if he IS going to keep training

- Sena meanwhile is like, feeling awful with guilt but also just kind of overwhelmed with the realization of how important he was to Shin, and this is where I would've like, laid the groundwork for how they'd gotten closer during the rest of high school/early college but Sena still never rrreally understood how much Shin cared about him because 1) he's got self-esteem issues baybee, and 2) Shin is not exactly, like, super forthright about his feelings,

- but, while Sena DOES feel awful about how much Shin was shaken up about seeing him, it's the only thread he can think of to pull on to try and bring himself back, and he ALSO feels guilty about having to watch everyone grieve for him, so, well,

- he starts haunting Shin!! Shin does not listen to his good and helpful friend Sakuraba and goes jogging again the next day, but it's obvious that he's still feeling Off and he's having a hard time getting into a rhythm, and Sena isn't able to tap into ~whatever it was~ that made him visible the previous time and is feeling super defeated about it, UNTIL,

- Shin takes a break at the midpoint of his normal route, which is a thing Sena knows he does not generally do from their own training together, and is basically just slumped over on a bench with his head in his hands again and Sena's also feeling awful and helpless and does the same thing,

- and then Shin tenses up beside him, his breath getting shallow, and Sena notices and tentatively calls out to him. Shin slowly, slowly looks up, and they make eye contact for just a second again, before Sena can tell he's not visible anymore because Shin's eyes kind of unfocus and he looks away, and just gets up and goes home.

- This kind of refreshes Sena's determination, and over the next few days (IT WAS GONNA DEPEND ON HOW LONG I WANTED TO TORTURE SHIN) they repeat the same pattern, with Sena going on Shin's jogs with him and occasionally achieving small flashes of visibility(/audibility, though Sena isn't ever able to get out anything helpful before the universe mutes him again) which Shin seems to be determined to just brush off as grief illusions even as he gets more and more tense each time

- Until finally as they're jogging, Shin sort of tersely asks "Are you there?" and instead of saying anything Sena just tries to barrel into him for a hug because clearly auditory-visual haunting only isn't WORKING and we've gotta get some TACTILE FEEDBACK in here,

- and it works. He knocks Shin off of his stride, and Shin grabs for him in turn, and there's a moment where they both stare at each other in total shock and relief before Sena starts trying to frantically tell Shin the whole story and disappears out of his arms like, three words in.

- Shin has a little tiny mental breakdown in the middle of the sidewalk where he cycles from devastation at Sena disappearing again to trying to pull himself together like, "okay if this is real then this isn't my last chance because it's happened a lot over the past few days" to a kind of giddy catharsis because it's real Sena's really here to kind of shutting down over the idea that maybe it's STILL not real and he's just going REALLY crazy to actually pulling himself back together and going to find a bench to sit down on, and just like,

- talking things out, out loud, in hopes that Sena can hear him. He can only see Sena when they're running, which is something they used to do together, so maybe recreating old memories is what triggers it. He's noticed that even when running, he usually sees Sena in moments when he's feeling least conflicted/emotionally complex-- either pure grief or pure nostalgia or pure just-zoning-out-running, not as much when he's really struggling to process and has a lot going on internally at once. Maybe the stability of the emotion is part of it.

- Sena meanwhile is having his own meltdown from sheer overwhelming relief over FINALLY FINALLY making contact and Shin FINALLY FINALLY believing he's there and also just like making hearteyes at Shin for immediately going into full methodical Ghost Scientist mode after getting his own meltdown over and done with

- speaking of going full Ghost Scientist, Shin announces his intention to do exactly that by saying he's heading back to his and Sena's old running trail to test out the "recreating memories" theory right that second, and they head over.

- They jog, and Shin talks out some of his memories with Sena from his own perspective, which is a surprise for Sena because he doesn't even remember some of the things that Shin does and also it lets him actually understand what Shin was thinking in those moments.

- And most importantly: it works. It's not constant, but the longer they practice, the longer they're able to keep Sena in view for longer stretches of time, more of an unsteady flicker than the total off-or-on that it was before. They stay out for a long time (and in the process discover that other people still can't see Sena when Shin can as he continually gets weird looks for talking to thin air) and Shin actually eats a real meal when he finally goes home.

- Sena and Shin keep practicing over the next few days, which makes Sakuraba SUPER concerned because Shin spending hours and hours jogging every day looks like Shin further depression-spiralling from his perspective, but he's somewhat mollified by the fact that Shin's actually getting back to eating and getting dressed etc. normally, even though he's still not going to practice.

- During this time, Sena and Shin bond when they're actually able to communicate. Sena notices that Shin's parents haven't checked in on him even once despite the fact that he just lost a friend, and Shin confirms in one conversation that he basically doesn't have a relationship or emotional connection with his parents at all. (But watch, hang in there, I'm gonna fix it,)

- In the meantime, Shinigami-san tracks Sena back down and they both share what they've learned. Shinigami-san says that Sena has to gather energy from as many of the people he's formed bonds with as possible to chain himself more strongly to life, and gives him a pendant to wear around his neck that will store the energy. When Sena talks about his and Shin's experiments, It says that it makes sense that being emotionally and physically in-sync would help bolster the connection between them to the point where other people would be able to see him, and that if they practice enough they might even be able to just use one or the other (emotional sync or physical sync) without needing both.

- After Sena laboriously relays this to him through flickers, Shin gets a metronome and they both practice tapping their fingers to the rhythm, and they're finally able to see each other at Shin's dorm room vs having to be on a run and actively reminiscing together. They develop a system where when Shin wants/needs to see him, he'll tap his finger against the side of his leg and Sena will do the same thing so they can actually talk.

(- There is at least one moment in the development of this that, when Sena successfully appears in front of him, Shin smiles fondly and very softly says, "There you are," and Sena immediately disappears again because he's so shaken to his disaster bisexual core that he can't even handle it.)

- During this process they find out that Sena's pendant glows when Shin is reminiscing or otherwise talking about his feelings (but not the capital-L feeling) about Sena, which lets them know how to go about "gathering energy" from Sena's friends.

- With the clock counting down on Sena's deadline, Shin starts approaching Sena's friends to "check on them," or, to sit down with them and talk about Sena. It's a little awkwardly sweet on both sides, because no one expects Shin of all people to be making sympathy housecalls and Shin's not very good at talking about feelings, but the conversations are surprisingly genuine and cathartic for all parties (including Shin, who is still processing some weird sideways grief even with his new connection to ghostSena, and Sena, whose self-esteem issues have a hard time standing up under a deluge of people talking about how much they cared about and miss him), PARTICULARLY:

- Monta and Suzuna, where the reminiscing works a little too well and they actually see a flicker of Sena sitting at Shin's side during the conversation and freak out. Shin immediately changes tacks and tells them that Sena is there and that he's trying to bring Sena back and he needs their help, and at first this makes them freak out more because what the fuck but by virtue of Shin being… Seijuurou "Overly-Serious-Stoic-Never-Overreacted-In-His-Life" Shin, he convinces them to try the tapping technique to bring Sena back into view.

- Sena has Shin describe a memory involving the three of them while they tap along to Shin's rhythm, and the combination of reminiscing and tapping works well enough that they're able to get frequent enough flickers of Sena to believe Shin. Yes, they do get a least one good long group hug out of the flickers, I'm not a monster.

- Shin still has to do most of the communication for Sena because it would take a lot of practice for the Sena-Monta-Suzuna combo to get enough in-sync to be able to communicate effectively, but he explains the whole situation and all the information they've gotten from Shinigami-san. They decide that it still makes the most sense for Shin to field the energy-gathering housecalls for the same communication-based reasons-- Sena can guide Shin through the conversations by suggesting memories to bring up with his friends-- but all the same, Shin suddenly finds himself with two tiny new best friends who want to hang out with him all the time. (And not even just to talk to Sena! Suzuna and Monta become pretty attached to and curious about Shin after he shows them more of his vulnerable side in the conversation leading up to the point where they actually see Sena themselves.)

- I was going to go through little flashes of Shin's conversations with a lot of Sena's friends across the football world, but the other Big One was going to be Mamori, of course. (And a little bit of Hiruma, who refuses to sit down for an Emotional Conversation with fucking Shin, but will gladly peanut-gallery Mamori's out of his own repressed desire for catharsis and also to make sure with guns loaded that Shin doesn't fuck up the fragile acceptance Mamori's been building since Sena's death.)

- Having learned from the experience with Suzuna and Monta, Sena wisely sits out of view during the conversation because he actually doesn't want to put Mamori through the rollercoaster of seeing him again, especially if his and Shin's efforts fail.

- Shin does not fuck up his conversation with Mamori and so Hiruma doesn't have to murder him! It's actually the most honest-- and healing-- conversation he has with anyone. Mamori finds herself feeling very fond of Shin, who she didn't know was so close with Sena and could be so supportive and empathetic under all that stoic strength, and Shin finds himself immediately adopted by another one of Sena's loved ones.

(- In their conversation, Mamori also mentions that just after Sena passed she kept finding herself thinking she heard Sena's voice, because that seed in the actually-written bit above was in fact foreshadowing ohoho.)

- I was not going to Go Into It because not even I have the strength, but to continue the theme of Shin finding a new family via his bond with Sena, there was going to be a brief scene referencing that Shin's visit with Sena's parents went much the same, with the addition that Shin was surprised Sena's parents already knew so much about him (because as it turns out Sena talked about him FREQUENTLY.)

(- Also within the housecalls there's a comedy scene where Shin makes Sena solid just long enough for Sena to log Shin in on Skype so he can talk to Panther without sacrificing a computer, and they discover that international friendship energy gathering does in fact work.)

- AND THEN: SAKURABA. The fic would switch to Shin's POV from here! In Shin's energy-gathering conversation with Sakuraba, things are going well at first, with Sakuraba reminiscing about Sena and then turning the conversation toward Shin himself to talk about how he's noticed Shin's seeming a lot more steady and like he's been doing some real healing lately. Shin obviously does not explain the ghostSena situation, but does honestly say that his conversations with Sena's other friends have helped him process his feelings a lot. And Sakuraba, being a supportive friend, very gently says that he's proud of Shin for reaching out, and for doing so well when he's going through something so hard, because he can't imagine losing the person he was in love with.

- Shin freezes up, and Sakuraba tries to reassure him that it's okay, he's known for a long time, he's so sorry that Shin never got to actually process those feelings with Sena, and Shin doesn't have to talk about it but if he ever wants to Sakuraba's there for him-- and Shin very stiltedly deflects the whole conversation because he doesn't want to totally shut Sakuraba down when he's just trying to be supportive but also Sena is right there

- After finally, awkwardly shooing Sakuraba out the door, Shin sits back down and tries to Talk About It with Sena, but he's so emotionally frazzled that he's not able to get a stable connection. Since they can't have a two-way conversation, he just launches into apologizing-- he's sorry, he understands if it makes Sena uncomfortable, Sena doesn't need to feel obligated to respond to it and of course Shin is going to help him finish getting what he needs regardless--

- Sena's just RAPIDLY flickering in and out of view, with the time he's not visible getting longer and longer as Shin keeps talking because they are incredibly emotionally out-of-sync, and with Shin only able to tell that Sena looks upset whenever he's able to see him, he makes some Assumptions about Sena's feelings about his accidental confession.

- Things don't get better over the next day or two. They try to do their synchronizing exercises, but even reciting memories doesn't help because Shin is too anxious and ashamed (and sleep-deprived from stress) to connect to them emotionally, which is only compounded because he realizes that Sena's deadline is fast approaching and they won't be able to finish in time if he can't get his shit together but that anxiety Does Not Help with relaxing enough to synchronize when he's spiralling over the thought of losing Sena again because of something that he "did".

- Finally, Sena apparently gets desperate and snatches up the metronome during one of the moments when he's solid for just long enough to do it.

- Shin doesn't see him for a while after that, and assumes (correctly) that Sena has taken the metronome with him to try and sync with Monta and/or Suzuna instead, and also assumes (incorrectly) that this is because Sena is extremely disappointed with him at best and totally hates him at worst, and that either way Sena probably doesn't want much to do with him anymore even if he is able to be brought back.

- He spirals for like, A Day, after which he does in fact break and go to tear up very stoically on Sakuraba about how yes he was (is) in love with Sena and it hurts him that he'll never get to express that properly (now that Sena wants nothing to do with him) and how he feels like he let himself (and Sena) down by not being able to act on that earlier (when it wasn't a literal life-or-death situation) and how maybe he's just not cut out for emotions and connections with other people actually, just look at even his relationship with his parents???

- Sakuraba comforts him and very gently tells him he's being a catastrophizing dingus and shows him, like, a mountain of texts on his phone not ONLY from concerned fellow Oujous, but also from a bunch of the people that Shin's talked to about Sena over the last few weeks, all of them expressing the general sentiment of "wow I was super surprised when Shin came around to talk to me about Sena but I'm so glad he did, it looks like he's doing well, keep an eye on him for me" in varying levels of transparency because after all they are Manly Footballers, but regardless: look at that, Shin is actually perfectly capable of forming relationships with other people, and they like and care about him.

- This results in some decidedly less stoic tears, and Sakuraba and Shin successfully patch things up after their previous awkward discussion about Shin's feelings for Sena. When Shin leaves he immediately heads for Enma to try and find Monta, because even if Sena and his friends don't want to see him he absolutely can't just shrug and sit back and just wait to see if they manage to save him.

- When he's like halfway there, he comes across Monta and Suzuna heading in his direction, and they cut off his questions by just being like NOPE SHUT UP COME WITH US and dragging him over to like, a park gazebo for some semi-privacy.

- Suzuna gets the metronome out of her bag and sets it on the park table and turns it on. Monta pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and starts reading.

- It turns out that after he left Shin's, Sena ghosted up into Monta's room and just plopped the suddenly-appearing metronome down on Monta's desk, scaring the shit out of him but also giving a very clear signal of WE NEED TO TALK. Monta called up Suzuna and the three of them had spent the last day and a half working on synchronizing non-stop, and while they still aren't nearly as good as Shin and Sena had gotten with weeks' worth of practice, they got far enough along that Sena was able to have them slowly write out some of his memories with Shin, this time from his perspective, through the unsteady connection.

- Suzuna and Monta take turns yanking the paper back and forth between them to read out the description of Sena and Shin's memories, and with Shin tapping along to the metronome, he's able to see Sena more and more clearly over time until he's solid more often than not.

- As it becomes increasingly clear, even to Shin, that these specific memories Sena has chosen to share are a record of him coming to realize his feelings for Shin, Sena is eventually able to take Shin's hands and hold them without disappearing, tapping not needed. He interrupts Suzuna and Monta to try to finish off the confession himself: Shin didn't need to be scared when Sena found out about his feelings, because--

- Absolutely overwhelmed by everything about the last 36 hours and having no ability to process any of it in words ANYMORE but moved by the SPIRIT OF COMMUNICATION regardless, Shin gambles on the pretty sure bet that he and Sena are in-sync about this, and kisses him.

- It connects. (And connects, and connects...) Sena's pendant starts to glow brighter and brighter until he's totally enveloped, and--

- Switch back to Sena's POV! He wakes up on the street in front of the truck again, scraped up but otherwise totally unharmed. So are the little girl, who he successfully pushed out of the way, and the driver of the car, who stopped in time regardless. Shinigami-san is also there, and Sena tells It to leave the driver alone because It owes him one, and Shinigami-san congratulates him and tells him that hey hey that was the plan along!! (The onlookers assume that he's confused from the near-accident when he starts talking to thin air.)

- Sena waves off all the concerned onlookers and runs off to find somewhere to sit where he's not going to be gawked at so he can text literally everyone he knows. By the time he finds a bench, he's already gotten HOLY SHIT WE JUST TIME-TRAVELED ARE YOU OKAY??? texts from Monta and Suzuna, which he responds to and incites a flood of emoji-based cheering. Everyone else he texts is politely puzzled by his "are you okay???" message, including Mamori and his parents to his intense relief, except--

- He gets a call from Sakuraba, who sounds very confused as he tells him that Shin wants to talk to him. Sena reassures Shin that he's okay, and tells him to meet him at the park that they left off at, and also that he loves him because he can't restrain himself after not getting to say it before. Shin says it back, and Sakuraba therefore sounds both confused AND delighted when he gets the phone back from Shin to say goodbye.

- Sena texts Suzuna and Monta to meet him at the same place, since it's about halfway between Enma and Oujou, and starts running.

- Shin and Sena, being… Shin and Sena, get there before the other two, and there's so many tears and so much hugging and so many I Love Yous and also some apologies. Monta and Suzuna eventually arrive and there's another round of tears and hugging and I Love Yous, and when everyone is less punchdrunk off of trauma and catharsis, they sit down and figure out that it's only the people that actually saw Sena as a ghost that remember the other timeline.

- With the group understandably not ready to be separated under the circumstances, but also with Sena desperately wanting to see his parents, Mamori and Riku, he comes up with a thin excuse for an impromptu dinner party at his parents' place later in the day (celebrating passing a tough test? beat the Cupids in a football game? national pancake day?? doesn't matter!!!), clears it with them, and invites Mamori+Hiruma and Riku over as well. (Shin lets Sena arrange takeout for everyone on his dime so that Sena's parents won't have to cook for an unplanned dinner party.)

- Fic ends with the group heading toward Sena's parents' house, Shin and Sena holding hands, with Sena feeling content and confident in his relationships as his phone continuously blows up with people responding to his check-in text, and Shin admitting that he's feeling pretty hopeful about the idea of getting to form connections with Sena's family all over again.

END. Thanks for indulging my "I'm too lazy to write this but NOT too lazy to bulletpoint each plot detail beat-by-beat" post, haha!

[itslaurenmae]

What is this sudden influx of "Cabin in the Woods" reblogs? Did you just see it for the first time? Second time? Umpteenth time? Your take on things must be had, lest the old ones wipe it away.

I am SO GLAD... so BLESSED to receive this ask. This turned into a full-on essay, sooooo buckle up and read on. (TL;DR I rewatched Cabin in the Woods and forgot how much I loved it, sooo yes, you're gonna see a lot of it on my dash) - SPOILERS AHEAD

I rewatched Cabin in the Woods for the second time on Saturday night and DEAR GOD. I’m gonna have NO CHILL while responding to this because I’ve been thinking about it for a day and a half already. 

First of all, I should probably state for the record that I am a longtime Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. I wasn’t allowed to watch the show when it was airing on television (thanks to my very strict evangelical conservative upbringing) - I found Buffy in my early twenties and fell in love. The subversion of tropes, the excellent character writing hand-in-hand with narrative arcs that actually make sense... it really is one of the greatest shows that’s ever been on TV. Yes, I will fight you about it. I haven’t watched everything Joss Whedon has ever touched, but I also really loved Dr. Horrible’s Singalong Blog and Angel, so I am not a stranger to the Whedonverse.

Cabin in the Woods is the first horror movie I remember watching and genuinely enjoying. Loren and I had decided that, with my being deprived of Halloween traditions (thanks to that upbringing), we wanted to start a new tradition of watching a horror movie on Halloween night. This was back in 2013. Our first daughter was only a few months old. 

I’d seen maaaaybe two other actual horror films before CitW - but I’d long been a fan of books, tv shows, and other mediums in the paranormal family (because that was okay, because it was spiritual - thanks again, upbringing). I think a friend from college had recommended it to us - and once I'd seen it had Joss Whedon as a writer and producer, I knew I'd probably like it. So, we put our daughter to bed, snuggled up, turned off all the lights, and watched our very first Halloween horror movie.

I fell in Love. 

It was funny? And subversive? And I was scared in a good way? 

I had no idea what was going on in the very beginning, but as this tale unspooled itself on our flatscreen, I knew I Loved this movie.

From that day forward, anytime anyone asked me what my favorite horror movie was, I said Cabin in the Woods. 

I said that for seven years.

Somehow, seven years of my life went by? We had another baby? We moved houses? I left jobs and got a new job and Loren moved school sites and wow... somehow it was 2020. We watched lots of horror movies, and not just on Halloween anymore (take that, upbringing!!). We're huge fans of a YouTube channel called Dead Meat, and specifically, a series they do called the Kill Count. 

Every Friday, James A. Janisse and his team release a new video counting down the kills in a horror movie. And when I saw at the end of 2019 that he was going to do one for Cabin in the Woods, I was SO EXCITED.

It had been YEARS since I'd seen it, but I remembered that I Loved it. And yes, I'm using Love with a capital L. I Love this movie. 

Loren and I watched the Kill Count the day it was released. I remembered most of the kills, and I definitely remembered that ending. It made me so happy to watch something about that movie again.

Some time goes by. 

Covid-19 happens. We all get told to shelter in place. 

We log in to Hulu one night after the kids are down to watch Letterkenny, and I see that Cabin in the Woods is streaming. I was SO HAPPY to see it there.

Some more time goes by.

We finished watching Letterkenny. 

We can't pick another show to watch together. So I suggest we watch Cabin in the Woods. 

That was Saturday.

I forgot how much I Love this movie.

I forgot how much I Love Fran Kranz’s character, Marty.

I forgot about how much I Love the look of relief on Kristen Connolly’s character, Dana's, face when Marty shows up at the dock where she's about to be clobbered to death. She thought he was already dead, but no, he's alive. And he clocks Matty Buckner with his giant bong and they run like hell back to the house. 

I forgot that Marty figured out that the whole thing was rigged against them. 

I forgot they break into the elevator to confront The Organization about killing their friends.

I FORGOT ABOUT THE VERY TENDER HUGGING FROM BEHIND IN THAT SCARY AS HELL, MASTERFULLY DONE ELEVATOR SCENE.

I forgot about the very painful and earnest exchange of apologies between Marty and Dana at the end, after they decide they’re gonna let the Ancient Ones rise.

I forgot about the way they scoot to be near each other as the building is coming down. 

I forgot about the way they put their heads together, shivering, as they huddle for some semblance of safety and comfort as the world is ending. 

It's so HUMAN - that last scene between Marty and Dana. And you get this feeling that, if they survived this, they'd maybe have a shot at something good together.

Basically, I forgot how much I Loved this movie.

And it all came back to me on Saturday night.

It's good writing. It's good acting. It's just good.

Something A LOT of media just isn't anymore.

Character writing. Overall narrative. Subversions on the genre. An ending that is tragic and shocking but still MAKES SENSE.

Watching this movie reminded me of the kinds of characters and stories I love. And it had been a long time since I'd watched something I Loved. 

Especially after watching a very popular franchise I love shit the bed last year, I've been feeling very uninspired and unimpressed by most popular media. 

Most shows or movies I've watched from the last decade just feel... soulless. They don't make me feel things. 

They don't affect me. They're numb, they have no heart. They kinda pass the time but they don’t move me.

The characters don't feel real. 

They don't make understandable, human decisions. 

It all feels really stilted. 

And that’s because the writing is bad.

I think most actors out there are doing their best, but there's just been a deluge of seriously shitty writing, and people aren't discriminating enough to either notice or care, or stop spending their money on things that are frankly, poorly crafted cash grabs. 

I don't want to point fingers and name names (because a. that’s been done already, and b. Whedon's not getting off scot-free here, he's one of the men behind one of the biggest franchises of the late 2000s and 2010s) - but somewhere in the last seven years, a lot of soul just died in the writing of American TV and movies. 

But not this movie. 

This movie is real, and it's human, and it's funny and subversive and tonally resonant and I Love it.

So yes, the deluge of content is here because I remembered I Loved this movie.

I Love Marty and Dana and their very human clinging to each other in that crumbling building. 

I Love those scenes in the elevator, I Love the tragedy of sacrificing young people to appease a nameless evil, I Love the way Marty and Dana choose each other over all the rest of humanity, I Love the humor and the wrongness of it all being engineered in an office. 

It's just Good, and I’ve really missed Good Shit. 

So yes, I’m gonna post the hell out of The Cabin in the Woods (2011) on this blog for however long I see fit. Bless you, @iowastubborn, for gracing my inbox with this ask. It’s the first thing I’ve written in MONTHS and it felt good to write about something I Love.

If you need me, you can probably find me in the marty x dana tag at 3am anytime in the foreseeable future.

[the-zodiacs-written-in-the-stars]

Chapter 6: Mel & Tanya

Tanya was sitting at the bar, enjoying the homemade lemonade – Jamie made such a good lemonade it was insane. Lemons, lime, elderflower and mints. It was probably the most refreshing thing she had ever drunk. Sighing softly, she poked at the mint leafs in her drink with her straw.

“Wanna talk about your day, girlfriend?”, asked Jessie with a smile.

“It was exhausting”, sighed Tanya and looked up at the bartender. “It's just... work. A lot of work.”

“I gotta have a talk with Matt? I will have you know, I will have a talk with him”, warned Jessie.

Tanya smiled fondly and shook her head. Jessie was a wonderful person and one of the reasons Tanya had come to frequent the St. John's Pub. Though to be fair, both St. John siblings gave their regulars this feeling of home. They welcomed everyone and made them feel like they belong.

“Why the hell did you talk to my sister in ASL?”

Both Jessie and Tanya turned toward a frowning Mike. The detective looked very confused. Jessie leaned in, very intrigued in where this was going, casually wiping down the counter.

“Why not?”, countered Tanya, equally confused. “You told me she's mute.”

“...I never... what...?”, grunted Mike, confusion visibly growing.

“You said she can't talk”, disagreed Tanya, one eyebrow raised.

There was a stretch of silence in which Mike just stared at her blankly. “What... No. What. I said she can't talk to pretty girls. I didn't mean that she can't talk at all.”

“That makes no sense”, pointed Tanya out, a frown creasing her eyebrows.

“Mel is what others would call a useless lesbian. Only that she takes it to the extreme”, offered Jessie casually. “She is tongue-tied when a gorgeous woman talks to her. It's amusing.”

“That's ridiculous”, muttered Tanya and shook her head.

“I know”, sighed Mike. “But still. Wait. So... Why do you even speak ASL...?”

“My babushka, she went deaf... fifteen or so years ago? My whole family learned ASL.”

“Your Russian grandma in Russia went deaf so your Russian family in Russia learned American Sign Language...?”, questioned Jessie, both eyebrows raised high.

“Yes, my grandmother who immigrated to Russia fifty years ago to be with my grandfather and never let go of her roots in San Francisco and taught my father and me English, insisted that we learn American Sign Language”, replied Tanya with a neutral look.

“Oh”, hummed Jessie and nodded. “Cool. So, Mike, why does your sister know ASL?”

“I don't know. She was bored one afternoon and decided to learn ASL after binge-watching Switched at Birth because learning a new language is what that geek defines as a hobby”, shrugged Mike with an eye-roll.

“That is very impressive”, stated Tanya, eyebrows raised.

“Not when you consider she's fluent in like nine languages and can't talk to pret...”, started Jessie in a snarky voice before trailing off. “Wait. Wait, you talked to her? Like, had a conversation?”

“Yes?”, confirmed Tanya confused.

“That's it!”, exclaimed Mike excitedly, hitting the bar with his fist and startling the girls. “So, all we have to do is find a nice lesbian who's fluent in ASL for my sister and then it'll all work out.”

“I mean, it narrows down the pool, but...”, drawled Jessie unimpressed.

“Well, it's not like I know a lot of lesbians to begin with”, huffed Mike frustrated.

“I feel summoned. What are we talking about?”, asked Babs as she returned from serving beer.

“See. There she is, the only lesbian I know”, grunted Mike, vaguely motioning at Babs.

Blinking a couple of times, Babs hopped onto the bar, on Mike's other side. Tanya tilted her head and looked at the waitress. Babara was cute, in a dorky way. With the neon-green dyed hair put up into two pig-tails usually, lipstick and nail-polish in matching shades of magenta as always. She had very distracting boobs, if Tanya was being honest.

“And... why exactly isn't the only lesbian you know a match for your lesbian sister?”, asked Tanya curiously. “Does it have anything to do with the fact that lesbians do require more than just shared sexuality to work out as a relationship...?”

“Eh”, huffed Mike with a dismissive hand-gesture. “No. It's that Mel's a college professor and Babs is her student and that's a total no-go for Mel. So, Babs is out of the game. I mean, I had hopes for Jessie, but... straight people exist.”

Babs opened her mouth to answer, but Jessie beat her to the punch. The barkeeper lifted a hand to silence Tanya before leaning forward against the bar, leveling Mike with an unimpressed look.

“Don't tell me you forgot sexuality isn't black and white. Straight and gay. We literally got all the colors of the rainbow to play with, you know?”, chuckled Jessie. “Remember when I told you I'm not interested in women? Let me guess, you concluded I'm straight.”

“Well... something tells me you aren't. And that something is the judgmental look on your face”, offered Mike, sitting up with a frown.

“I'm not interested in women. But I'm also not interested in men”, replied Jessie with a shrug. “I identify as aroace. Aromantic and asexual. I aspire to become an old cat-lady.”

“Right. That's a thing. I saw it on that show Mattie loves watching so much”, muttered Mike embarrassed. “Never heard of it before. So I kinda... didn't... think about it.”

“Why am I not surprised that the gay archer who loves his men tall, dark and handsome watches Shadowhunters?”, mused Babs teasingly, kicking her legs back and forth. “I bet he has a total crush on Alec Lightwood. He does, right?”

“I'm not talking about that with you”, grumbled Mike frustrated.

“What did you girls do to him? He looks miserable.”

Tanya rolled her eyes just a little at how much Mike's face brightened up when Jamie poked his head out of the kitchen. His shoulder-long, light-brown hair was pulled up in a bun, some strands falling into his freckled face. Mike stared at him like he really wanted to brush the hair out of Jamie's face and then trace the freckles. Honestly, Mike and Matt were pretty pathetic. Jamie walked over to Mike and put a container with most likely two burgers and fries down.

“Thank you, Jamie. You're a life-saver”, sighed Mike. “I'm starving and me and Rick are gonna be busy throughout our break too probably...”

“Can't let our police-force starve”, chuckled Jamie, amusement in his dark eyes. “Make sure to take better care of yourself though.”

Mike just nodded, looking after Jamie as the cook disappeared back into his kitchen. “Anyway. I should get back to work. See you around, Tanya?”

“As always”, sighed Tanya, waving dismissively as Mike left the pub.

She raised both eyebrows as Jessie and Babs seemed to be zooming in on her. Jessie cocked her head in a nearly judgmental way and crossed her arms over her chest, while Babs grinned.

“So, why didn't you mention that you're not straight?”, asked Babs teasingly. “Mel not your type?”

“For one, I don't make a habit of flaunting my sexuality in everybody's face”, grunted Tanya unimpressed. “And for another, I will not be used by Mike to be set up with his sister. She seemed nice and all, but this is not the way I will find a partner.”

“Girl”, sighed Jessie, both eyebrows raised. “You're already fishing in both ponds but you're still single. I don't think you have a way to find a partner.”

“I will not be sassed about my lack of love-life by you, of all people”, huffed Tanya.

“Oh come o—on, it's like one of life's joys when you're ace”, pouted Jessie.

~*~

Melanie straightened her glasses as she put another paper down. She was getting good work done today. Maybe she'd even finish grading them all today. That would be nice.

“Hello, Melanie. Your hair looks nice today.”

...That would be it for her papers. Sighing, Melanie looked up at his brother's obsession. “James.”

James St. John was a handsome man, though Melanie attributed that to the fact that he looked a lot like his younger sister Jessica. Pale, freckled skin, lean body, soft, brown hair and dark, green eyes. They also both had that same smirk, filled with mischief and something foreboding. James grinned pleased at Melanie as he got comfortable on the seat opposite of hers.

“I was wondering if maybe you could do me just the smallest, tiniest favor, perhaps.”

“What is it?”, asked Melanie with a heavy sigh.

She liked James alright. He was kind, amusing and a brilliant cook. On top of it all, she knew what a huge crush Mikey and Matt both had on the guy. And there was one thing Mel had always been, supportive of her siblings and accepting of their love-interests.

“You know the kids who always come here for warm meals?”, asked James carefully, a serious look on his face. “Their names are Ally and Andy. They're orphans. Ran away from the same foster-home together. And, well, at first... it was just warm meals. Then a dry place to stay and... they kind of stopped leaving and the guest room kind of turned into an actual bedroom for them and now I'm fighting my way through the process of becoming a foster-parent. And, well, I figured it'd leave a better impression if I'd actually get the kids back into school.”

“That's... very admirable”, nodded Melanie surprised. “And... what kind of help do you need?”

“It's...”, started James before he sighed and rubbed his face. “Ally's fourteen. Andy's nine. They're... behind. They've been living on the streets for over a year now. And honestly, I'm... lost. I dropped out of high school for a reason. I ain't that kinda person. Neither is Jessie. You're a figure of authority, you're a teacher, you're passionate about learning. I've heard you rant to Babs about it. I thought maybe... you could talk to them? From a different perspective.”

Melanie frowned. This was not exactly what an English literature professor did, but she could see the despair in Jamie's eyes. He was clearly frustrated and clearly trying his best. And it wasn't like she didn't understand where he was coming from.

“Okay. How about you introduce me to your young charges and I'll see if I can help?”, offered Mel.

Jamie offered a grateful smile before he got up and left for upstairs, where Jamie, Jessie and Babara were living. Moments later and he returned with two kids. The girl older, with long, tight curls and Polynesian features, skin a light shade of nougat and eyes guarded as she glared around the room. The boy next to her was younger than her, he was black, with short hair and what looked like lightning-bolts shaved into the side of his temples.

“Guys, this is Melanie. She, uh, offered to sit down with you and see if she can help with your school work”, introduced Jamie, one hand on the girl's back.

“Hello, ma'am”, greeted the boy, holding his hand out to shake hers.

“Such a polite young man”, smiled Melanie, biting her lip as she shook his head.

Jamie grinned brightly at that and shrugged. “I'll leave you to it.”

Ally glared wearily as she sat down opposite Melanie. She was wearing a hoodie such a pale shade of red that it matched her coral-necklace, her hands buried deep in the front-pocket of the hoodie. She was it like armor, Melanie was more than familiar with that. Compared to Ally, Andy seemed far more open and also eager, leaning forward curiously.

“So, the two of you don't want to go to school?”, asked Melanie.

Andy opened his mouth to answer, but a side-glance from Ally made him close his mouth. Melanie offered a wry smile and leaned back, pushing her glasses up as she watched them for a long moment. Andy had large, soft-brown eyes, making him look innocent and inquisitive.

“Okay, I have two theories here”, started Melanie slowly after a few minutes of watching the siblings and their body-language. “Wanna hear them?”

“Whatever”, muttered Ally dismissively.

Melanie hummed and tilted her head. “One is the fact that James isn't certified as a foster-parent yet. Going to school means settling it. It means growing comfortable here, to make friends. But if James won't become your foster-father after all, you'll have to run away again. And running away hurts more when you have someone to leave behind. Friends.”

Ally stared at her surprised, then wearily. “It's... not that we don't trust Jamie. But the system's rigged and I don't need to try if it's just gonna be a waste of time.”

“I get that”, replied Melanie and nodded.

“Right”, snorted Ally, slipping down further in her seat.

“I'm an orphan too, you know”, hummed Melanie casually, tilting her head. “But I was already eighteen when my parents died. But my younger brother, he was... he was about your age, Ally. He was thirteen back then. And our younger sister was ten. I had to fight to get to keep my siblings. Social workers didn't think an eighteen year old girl would be able to take care of two children, work and go to school. My younger siblings acted up, because they were afraid too. They were afraid to be taken away and they didn't know how to cope.”

Ally slowly seemed to relax a little bit. “So... how... did they cope?”

Melanie shrugged and tilted her head. “They had to trust me. I... One night, they found me crying in my room, because I really, really didn't know how I could do it. I thought I wouldn't be good enough for them, because they were acting out, that maybe it would be best for them if they got a second chance with someone who could be a parent for them. I was trying my best, but I was all alone and I didn't know how to do this because I had never done this before. That night, they realized that... that they were afraid and hurting, but... so was I. Just because I was older than them didn't know I really knew what I was doing.”

“And what did they do then?”, asked Andy, leaning forward so much on his chair, Melanie feared the boy would just fall off any moment. “Could they help you? Did it work out?”

That made Melanie sigh and shake her head. “Mikey, my brother, he... wanted to actually help. He thought that he had to do something, so he suddenly decided he had to work beside school and help out. But that's not... The way you can help is by listening to James. What he's saying about school is right. School is important and if he can show off that he has you enrolled in a school, integrated into the community, that he's taking care of you, it will make him look better. I understand that unlike me, James isn't alone in this. He has his sister and I believe Babara certainly helps out too, but he'll really rely on you two being cooperative. You want to stay with James, right?”

Both children nodded at that, still looking at her like she held all the answers in the universe. Ally bit her lips and looked at Melanie wearily, like she was trying to sort her thoughts to ask a specific question. Melanie slowly took a drink from her tea, patiently waiting for Ally to be ready to ask whatever it was that was on her mind. They were good kids, both of them.

“What... happened with your siblings?”, asked Ally finally. “Did they get to stay with you?”

“They did”, confirmed Melanie with a small smile. “We... worked hard, together, to make it work.”

“And what do they do now?”, wanted Andy to know eagerly. “Your siblings?”

“Mikey is a cop”, replied Melanie, smile growing with pride. “He's a regular at the bar too. You surely have seen him around before. He looks really grumpy very often and has black hair like me.”

Andy's mouth formed an o as he nodded. “And your little sister?”

Melanie's face fell some as she blinked. “Mack... She's living in New York. Sadly, we don't have a lot of contact anymore, because she lives so far away, but I'm sure she's very happy with her life.”

Ally looked skeptical, like she didn't believe a word Melanie was saying. In the end, the girl allowed Melanie that little lie and just got up from her seat, motioning for her brother to follow.

“Come on, Andy. Let's see what Jamie's doing in the kitchen. I'm hungry”, hummed Ally.

“Oh, yes! Burger!”, demanded Andy excitedly and rushed past his sister.

Melanie smiled fondly but sadly as, for just a moment when she looked at the two children, she felt reminded of Michael and Mackenzie all those years ago. It's been a long journey for them and it was going to be a long journey for Ally and Andy, but considering everything Melanie knew about the Saint John siblings, she knew Ally and Andy would be fine with them.

~*~

Tanya wanted to get a head-start before going over things with Mike and Matt. They needed to meet to discuss what to do. They had superpowers, supposedly so, they had a kind of duty. What to do with it, that was what the three of them had to decide.

Tanya was so tempted. Aquarius had already shown her that this whole deal came with a costume. Only later did Aquarius tell her that she could or should have gone for armor. Instead, Tanya had gone for fashionable. A short, sleeveless dress made out of dragon-skin that actually looked like the scales of Aquarius – a matching shade of turquoise. It was tight and short, giving her more room to move. And it had a cape, because heroes had capes, okay? The high heels on the boots were most likely not the most effective things, but she hadn't walked in flats in at least ten years, so that would be even more impractical for her personally, so there was that. At least the costume was heat-resistant because it was dragon-skin. No dragons had been harmed in the making of it though, since it was all magic. But at least that justified the cape some, because she could use it for hiding from fire and extreme heat. Generally, she loved the costume her subconsciousness had come up with.

The weapon that had come with it though...

A broad-sword with a zig-zagged blade. A vicious thing. Tanya did like how impactful it was, but she wasn't entirely sure about wielding it just yet. She could make it work, because she did know how to use a sword, at least the basics of it, it was just different from any sword she had ever worked with. She had studied the blade, sword-dancing had been a hobby of hers as a teenager.

“Okay. Teach me about my powers”, requested Tanya seriously.

Aquarius tilted her head curiously. “You do want to become a hero.”

“Yeah”, confirmed Tanya hesitantly. “I... suppose so. This power wasn't granted to us for us to stick our heads in the sand... And at the very least, I want to know what I'm capable of.”

Tilting her head into the other direction, Aquarius nodded pleased. That dragon was way too cute.

“There are twelve Zodiacs. They're assigned to the four elements, three Zodiacs hold powers of each element”, started Aquarius and stretched out, resting her chin and her front-paws on Tanya's lap to make her scratch Aquarius' head. “Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn are the signs of earth, Sagittarius, Leo and Aries are the signs of fire, Cancer, Pisces and Scorpio are the signs of water and Gemini, Libra and I are the signs of air.”

“Right. So, who was drunk when they decided that the literal water-bearer should be assigned air?”, asked Tanya with a frown, scratching Aquarius behind the ear.

“I'm a water-dragon”, chimed Aquarius. “I spit water, not fire. And I am a dragon. I fly. Air. So, it's a bit mixed. Guess that led to confusions. It's why one of your predecessors had such a weird myth around her birth. With the whole daughter of the sky – air – and the ocean – water. Which, I guess, works as me creating her to be a hero.”

“So, what powers do I have?”, asked Tanya, frown deepening even more.

“Air”, hummed Aquarius, relaxing under Tanya's fingers and making purring sounds.

“What does that even mean?”, sighed Tanya and leaned back on her couch. “Fire, water, even earth, they all seem to have some nice possibilities. What can I do with air?”

“Many of your predecessors could fly”, offered Aquarius casually. “Air is everywhere. You can do so much with it. The only limit is your imagination. You can manipulate the molecules in the air. You can solidify it, or thin it out until it's hard to breath. You can manipulate the temperature of the air, really, there is a lot you can do with it. You just have to... try.”

“Okay. Let's maybe not start with flying”, suggested Tanya concerned. “I feel like it would not end well if I'd jump off a building right now. The rest sounds interesting enough to work with. How?”

“I don't know”, hummed Aquarius with a yawn, closing her eyes. “Concentrate. Just do it.”

“...That's not helpful”, sighed Tanya, the frown returning.

“How would you explain breathing to someone else?”, shrugged Aquarius. “It's that. It's... It's just something you can do. Something I have always been able to do. It's... Just do it.”

It would be easier to be irritated if Aquarius didn't look this adorable when pouting. Sighing, Tanya continued scratching Aquarius behind the ears until the dragon fell asleep in her lap. Okay. Just do it. It couldn't be that hard. She just had to... do it. Somehow.

Maybe if she approached it like a mime? Solidifying air by forming it. Closing her eyes, Tanya focused on visualizing it. Visualizing firm, solid glass beneath her fingers, instead of air. She pressed the flat of her hand against nothing and kept concentrating, until... until it was solid. Her eyes snapped open as she stared stunned at the air. There was nothing visible, but the air still felt like it had turned into solid glass. Removing her hand, Tanya kept staring. Tentatively, she knocked against the air – and it actually worked. It was still solid. Okay. She could work with this.

And fighting supervillains with actual superpowers seemed far more realistic than simply with a sword. Maybe they could do that. She wasn't sure of it just yet, because the thought was scary, but... there were villains, literal villains, hurting innocent people. And the three of them belonged to the twelve only people on the planet who could do something. They had to.

~*~

“Okay. This feels utterly ridiculous, Taurus”, sighed Melanie softly.

“It only feels ridiculous because you had to go to your brother's place to find a big enough plant”, pointed Taurus out.

Melanie grumbled, her cheeks flushing. She wasn't good with plants. Apparently, that was now going to change, thanks to her Zodiac and his powers. Or at least, Taurus said so. Melanie wasn't quite sure – which was why they had gone to Mike and Matt's. Melanie knew the couple weren't home, they would be gone the entire weekend, staying at Matt's parents'. And Melanie had a key to their gorgeous Victorian-style house. She loved that house a lot. Two stories, an attic, a basement, a backyard and winter garden. Sure, Matt was rich, it figured he wouldn't want to live in a shack.

She often came to their house, even when they weren't home. Neither of them had a problem with it, Matt had an actual library and it had proven very useful for work. Also, Melanie just felt happy when she was surrounded by books, so there was that.

There was the master bedroom, the office space and two more bedrooms on the first floor, aside from the library. One of those bedrooms belonged to Matt's little sister. She regularly came to stay for a weekend in Los Angeles with her big brother, or spent the holidays, so Matt and Mike had simply converted one room to be all hers. And she loved it. The other bedroom was a guestroom, where Melanie found herself staying regularly too. Sometimes because she worked too long in their library and forgot about time, other times she would stay over after a movie night or something.

But what Melanie was seeking out was on the first floor. Oh, Melanie really did love this house. A sitting room in the center of the first floor, connected to the guest bathroom, the kitchen, dining room, living room – and the winter garden. Which was exactly why she was there today.

“Okay. Tell me what to do”, prompted Melanie with a frown as they reached the winter garden.

It was a long room, with window-walls all around. Fresh beautiful flowers and plants all over, as well as four deckchairs. The sun perfectly fell into the winter garden. Matt liked laying here to read, Melanie knew that. She had spent hours laying with him, enjoying the sun on her face and the book in her hand. She was getting along really well with her future brother-in-law. Something she was eternally grateful for, because the idea of not getting along with the person her brother loved...? Horrible to imagine. Coming here as she pleased, spending time with them both.

Taurus was standing awkwardly between two small palms, ducking beneath them. He wasn't tall, reaching just above Melanie's hips. His fur was a soft mossy-green and had the soft texture of moss too. His horns were massive and curved, a lush, emerald green just like his eyes and the symbol on his forehead – the symbol of Taurus. He ducked his head further, nudging a potted plant.

“Take the leaves between your hands. Close your eyes and focus”, ordered Taurus.

“Focus on... what?”, asked Melanie with a frown, caressing the plant's leaf.

“The plant. The life inside”, suggested Taurus. “Feel it. Like... another presence. Like another person in here. You can talk to it. Control it. Make it grow.”

Melanie frowned, clearly annoyed and frustrated. How could she make something grow? By... imagining it? She had never been a very visual person, she was better with words.

“The thick, green leaf, a soft color because it was still so young, it was strong. Strong enough to grow”, muttered Melanie beneath her breath, imagining it. “It could grow stronger, bigger. It-”

She startled and opened her eyes to stare at the plant. The thick leaf had grown, was now nearly twice its size. Okay. That was interesting. Tilting her head, Melanie tried to influence the plant – and the leaf turned into the direction Melanie wanted it to. Smiling softly, Melanie caressed the leaf. It felt... happy? Why... How could she feel a plant? Oh, this wasn't good. She was already vegetarian, if she could now communicate with plants, what was left to eat...?

“This is amazing, Taurus”, whispered Melanie. “With this and the suit and the additional strength that you can give me... I... I could actually do something. Be... a hero...?”

“Of course. That is precisely what I have been saying since the beginning”, confirmed Taurus.

The two of them talked animatedly with each other, Melanie being lost in all the possibilities of her powers, until suddenly, she had a steak-knife to the throat. Okay, she definitely needed better reflexes if she wanted to be a hero. With wide, frightened eyes did Melanie slowly turn around to face her attacker. Tanya Tarasova stared at her threateningly until recognition set in. Her eyes widened in surprise before the blonde backed off and essentially dropped the knife.

“Ni figa cebe!”, cussed Tanya as she slowly calmed down. [trans, Russian: holy shit]

Melanie just stared at her in surprise. Tanya took a deep breath, just to freeze and stare wide-eyed... at the large, green bull. Oh. Melanie gulped. This was super not going according to plans.

“That... you are a...”, whispered Tanya in disbelief.

She ran her fingers through her sunny-blonde hair, disheveling it a little. It was so perfect and exactly in place, but some strands falling out of the bun also looked really good. Melanie blushed.

“Taurus!”

Melanie jumped. The sudden high-pitched female voice startled her. So did the bright, turquoise light. It was what happened next that nearly made Melanie faint. A dragon. A real-life dragon. Sitting upright, it reached easily up to her waist. And it was utterly adorable. With dots all over, shades of turquoise and two zigzag lines on her forehead. The dragon yelped happily and jumped on top of Taurus, hugging the green bull. Taurus tilted his head, nudging the dragon.

“Aquarius. What a nice surprise”, hummed Taurus gently.

“Wait. Aquarius. Like. The Zodiac?”, blurted Melanie out, eyes large.

She turned to look at Tanya in surprise, though the blonde was just staring at the bull. “Taurus. Wait. That means... you have a Zodiac companion too? Oh, that explains a to. Mike's been complaining that you've been behaving 'weird'. It's because you have a secret.”

“Well, you have a dragon!”, exclaimed Melanie, pointing at Aquarius. “An adorable dragon, but a dragon! H—How...”

“Oh, I like her. She said I'm adorable”, declared Aquarius pleased.

Tanya just shook her head. “Matt and Mike are not going to believe it...”

“We can't tell them!”, exclaimed Melanie. “I can't drag my baby brother into this!”

“I'm sorry, but it's kind of too late. The snarky, blue crab dragged him into it”, chuckled Tanya, eyes twinkling. “Mike and Matt have companions too.”

“...Is that why Mike has been so distracted lately?”, whispered Melanie in realization.

“Yes”, confirmed Tanya, an amused smile on her lips. “This is going to be good. But wait, what are you doing here...? Matt and Mike are visiting Matt's family.”

“I know. I... uh... I have Earth-powers and... wanted to test them, but I don't own any plants”, admitted Melanie a little embarrassed, cheeks heating up.

“You don't own a single plant?”, asked Tanya, laughing softly.

“Oh, shut up”, grumbled Melanie flustered. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm Matt's assistant. I often come here, to drop off documents from work or get stuff he leaves here for me”, replied Tanya with a shrug. “He called me, told me he signed some important stuff before him and Mike left and that it was in the office.”

Melanie nodded and sat down on one of the chairs. Tanya sat down next to her, looking mainly amused. This was a lot to digest. She just hoped she'd have it digested by the time her brother returned home from his weekend trip. And in all the excitement, she didn't even really register that she had just spoken to a beautiful woman without stumbling over her own words...

Read here on AO3!

Previous Chapter <- || Masterpost || -> Next Chapter

[ladyfenring]

don’t stop believin’

For @rumaan, for getting me into this ship in the first place <3

Steve wasn’t sure what he hated more: Nancy feeling sorry enough for him that she was trying to set him up with another girl, or all of the girls that Nancy deemed worthy of replacing her. It wasn’t that anything was wrong with the girls specifically--they were all very nice, very pretty, and very smart, and under any other circumstances, Steve would be perfectly charmed by them. It was just that he wanted to meet a girl...organically. Not because his ex-girlfriend felt sorry for him and was throwing every available female his way.

Thankfully, there were only so many girls in Hawkins, and it didn’t take long before Steve had gone out with almost everyone Nancy tried to throw his way. He was relieved--now he could finish out his senior year without sucking it up through another awkward dinner and movie.

...or so he thought.

Graduation was only a month away when he agreed to give Dustin a ride to Hopper’s cabin so that he could visit El. A couple of the other kids were there, as well as a girl Steve had never seen before. She was pretty, in a terrifying sort of way. Her black hair was edged in purple, and part of her head was shaved. Her eyes were dark, rimmed in thick, smudged eyeliner, and her clothes were definitely not from Hawkins. She looked like she was in a punk rock music video on MTV.

“She’s my sister,” El announced. “Kali.” She pointed to Steve. “That’s Steve. Our babysitter.”

“I’m not...really her babysitter,” Steve said. “Just. Theirs.” He pointed to the boys.

Kali didn’t look impressed.

“So...sister, huh?” Steve said, feeling rather out of place.

“It’s a long story,” Kali said. Her accent was...well, he couldn’t really place it. English? Maybe? Definitely not American. That only deepened the mystery.

Steve bobbed his head. “Cool. Cool, cool, cool.”

He didn’t stay for much longer--Jonathan would be swinging by later and giving all the boys a ride home, and Steve had the distinct feeling that Kali didn’t...approve of him? Somehow? So he drove home, wondering how these two girls could be sisters.

.

He didn’t think much more of Kali until a few days later, when Nancy came up to him at school with That Look.

“No,” he said sharply. “I am not going on another date, Nancy.”

“It’s not a date!” she insisted. “I just wanted to invite you out to a...small gathering.”

“A small gathering?” he repeated skeptically.

“Mike said you met El’s sister, Kali,” Nancy said. “She’s our age, and she lives in a city...Hopper’s cabin in the middle of nowhere can’t be much fun for her, even if El is there. I was thinking, maybe we could take her out this weekend? Show her there’s life in Hawkins?”

Steve knew that that was not actually Nancy’s intent, and that she was actually just trying to set him up on a date with one of the only girls in Hawkins he hadn’t yet gone on a date with--even if she was only visiting. But he couldn’t very well say no, or else he’d sound like an asshole. And he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little intrigued by the idea of going out in any capacity with Kali. He seriously doubted they’d be at all compatible, but seeing her out and about would definitely be interesting.

“What were you thinking of?” he asked, changing out the books in his locker.

She beamed. “Dale’s is having karaoke night on Friday.”

“And you think Eleven’s sister--who, by the way, looks like she could kick Alice Cooper’s ass--wants to go to karaoke?”

“It’ll be fun!” Nancy said insistently.

He sighed. “Sure.”

Nancy squealed. “Great! We’ll meet you at Dale’s at, say, seven?”

“Seven at Dale’s,” he confirmed, wondering if this was going to be a mistake.

.

On Friday night, Steve took extra pains with his appearance, trying very hard to look as if he wasn’t trying hard. He rolled up to Dale’s, along with what looked like half of Hawkins High and Hawkins High alumni, back in town for their college summer breaks. The place was jam-packed, livelier than it was at any other time of the year. Teenagers and twenty-somethings were catching up after months apart, lighting cigarettes and ordering drinks and laughing raucously. It took a while for Steve to find his friends--they were sitting in a booth, Jonathan and Nancy on one side with Kali sitting opposite them. She looked deeply unimpressed.

“Hi,” Steve said, already feeling that this was a mistake.

“You made it!” Nancy said excitedly. “Kali, you remember Steve.”

“We’ve met,” was all she said.

Steve shot Jonathan a look. Jonathan gave him a shrug and a small smile.

“So,” Nancy said as soon as they’d ordered their food. “Kali...how do you like Hawkins so far?”

“I haven’t seen much outside the cabin,” she said. “It’s...quiet.”

“Except for this place, right?” Jonathan joked.

Kali turned her unimpressed stare towards him. “Sure.”

Jonathan and Nancy exchanged looks and immediately started sucking on their straws. Steve felt a sick sense of satisfaction--he was always awkward on double dates with Jonathan and Nancy. Now it was their turn to feel awkward. Sure, he was feeling awkward too, but that was a small price to pay. All of the girls that had made Steve feel awkward, and Nancy had finally picked one that made her feel awkward, too.

The evening did not get any less awkward. All of Nancy’s attempts at small talk failed miserably, and when she and Jonathan got up to sign up for karaoke, Steve saw it for the escape attempt that it was. He turned to Kali. “I know you don’t like me,” he said bluntly. “But I just wanna say, from the bottom of my heart...thank you.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Nancy and I used to date,” he said. “And then she left me for Jonathan. And as if that didn’t sting enough, now she’s bound and determined to find a new girlfriend for me.”

Kali’s eyebrow remained arched. “Is that why she invited me out tonight?”

“Yup,” he said. “I don’t think she realized what a hardass you are, though, and now she’s afraid of you.”

Kali surprised him by smiling. “Good--I like when people are afraid of me.”

“Oh, then you should love me, because I’m absolutely terrified of you.”

To his surprise, delight, and mild terror, Kali laughed. Well, it was more of a light chuckle, but still. He’d made her laugh.

Nancy and Jonathan were determinedly socializing with the other patrons of Dale’s--though whether that was because they were trying to give Steve and Kali alone time or because they were afraid of Kali or if it was a combination of both, Steve didn’t really know.

“My sister’s friends can’t stop talking about you,” Kali said after their food had arrived. “How does it feel to be hero-worshipped by a bunch of little kids?”

“Feels kinda good, actually,” he said. “I don’t have any siblings, so, it’s kinda like having a bunch of little brothers and sisters.”

“Yeah,” Kali said. “Yeah, I get that.”

Steve was tempted to ask about El and how the two girls were supposedly related, but he somehow had the feeling that now was neither the time nor place. “So, where are you visiting from?” he asked lamely.

She quirked her lips. “Chicago. I run a criminal gang.”

“Oh my god, of course you do.” His head fell against the back of the booth. “You know I’m going to the police academy in Chicago in a few months?”

Kali let out a bark of laughter.

“Of course you are.”

“Maybe you can show me around.”

“Mm, maybe.” She sipped her Coke. “But my area of expertise is the seedy underbelly of the Windy City.”

“So, not the Sears Tower?”

Kali laughed again. Steve was feeling very pleased with himself. “Tell you what, Steve: when you get to Chicago, you let me show you the places I frequent, and I’ll do something cheesy and touristy with you. Though, you’d have to do something really bitchin’ to drag me to Navy Pier.”

“Hey, I can do...bitchin’.”

Kali laughed again, and he knew she was laughing at him, but...that was okay. He just liked seeing her laugh.

Struck with inspiration, he said, “I’ll be right back.” He slid out of the booth and made his way to the DJ, where there was a line of people signing up for karaoke. Steve wrote something down and then made his way back to the table. On the way, he ran into Jonathan and Nancy, who were chatting with a couple other people from their class.

“How’s it going?” Nancy asked eagerly.

“We’ll see in a little bit,” Steve said in his most cheerful voice, and then returned to the table with Kali.

The karaoke was...well, about what you’d expect. Lots of high school girls thinking they were rocking it, college girls who were reuniting and singing their old favorites, college boys doing an over-the-top “girly” song but secretly being really into it. Lots of high school couples unironically singing “Jack and Diane”. Jonathan and Nancy had just sat down after their own duet when the DJ called up Steve and Kali.

Kali turned flashing eyes on Steve. “What did you do?”

“Something I may regret,” he admitted, taking her hand and pulling her out of the booth. “Come on.” He had to pull her through the crowd and up onto the small platform which served as a stage. The DJ thrust two microphones in their hands.

“What the fuck is happening?” Kali demanded of Steve.

“Just follow the words on the screen,” he said, smiling at everyone in the bar. He knew most of them--or rather, they knew him--and they were shouting encouragement. The music started and the bar dissolved into excited screams.

“Just a small town girl,” he began, staring down Kali. “Livin’ in a lonely world. She took the midnight train goin’ anywhere.”

He waited for Kali to sing the next part, but when she didn’t, dozens of girls in the bar filled in,

“Just a city boy

Born and raised in South Detroit

He took the midnight train goin’ anywhere.”

Steve had had a feeling that Kali wouldn’t be as into the song as he was, so he decided to go completely over the top with his performance. He played an air guitar and did his best imitation of Journey.

“A singer in a smoky room

The smell of wine and cheap perfume

For a smile they can share the night

It goes on and on and on and on.”

Everyone in the bar started shout-singing with him now.

“Strangers waiting

Up and down the boulevard

Their shadows searching

In the night

Streetlight people

Livin’ just to find emotion

Hidin’ somewhere in the night

Workin’ hard to get my fill

Everybody wants a thrill

Payin’ anything to roll the dice

Just one more time

Some will win

Some will lose

Some were born to sing the blues

Oh, the movie never ends,

It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting

Up and down the boulevard

Their shadows searching

In the night

Streetlight people

Livin’ just to find emotion.”

Everyone started dancing wildly to the guitar riff. Steve looked at Kali in the middle of his own energetic air guitar riff.

“You’re going to pay for this,” she shouted.

“I know!” he shouted back.

Kali gave him a look that clearly told him she thought he was crazy, and then raised the microphone to her lips.

“Don’t stop believin’

Hold onto that feelin’!”

Steve beamed as he and Kali sang the last verses, along with everyone else in Dale’s. Everyone cheered when the song ended, more for themselves than for Steve and Kali, and then the DJ was calling up the next pair. Steve hopped off the stage, holding out a hand for Kali; she hopped down on her own, brushing past his proffered hand.

“That was awesome!” Nancy exclaimed when they slid back into the booth.

“It was certainly something,” Kali agreed tersely.

Steve had a feeling that he was definitely going to pay for his little stunt later, but since they were in a room full of witnesses, he figured he was safe for the time being. He waited until Jonathan and Nancy were being gross again before he leaned over to Kali. “So tell me, was that worse than Navy Pier?”

Kali’s lips threatened to smile. That was good enough for Steve.

They didn’t stay at Dale’s much longer. When it became clear that Jonathan and Nancy were going to drive somewhere quiet and screw around (and not, as Nancy kept insisting, going to “help her mom with something”), Kali asked Steve if he would drive her home. Steve knew that that had been Nancy’s intention all along--not only would she and Jonathan get to screw around, but Steve and Kali would have their own alone time. But he was actually looking forward to giving Kali a ride home, even if it meant she was probably going to kill him--he liked being around her.

“So,” he said as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Is this the part where you make me pay?”

“Not just yet,” she said, leaning forward to fiddle with the radio. “God, doesn’t this town know how to play real music?”

“What’s your idea of real music?”

She considered him. “The Sex Pistols. The Ramones. The Clash.”

“The Clash?” Steve grinned. “You and Jonathan would’ve gotten along if you guys had started talking about music.”

“Do you know how pathetic you are?” Kali said suddenly. “You let your ex-girlfriend set you up on dates you don’t even want to be on, and now you’re complimenting her boyfriend’s taste in music? The same boyfriend, I might add, who stole her from you in the first place?”

“Jonathan didn’t steal her from me,” Steve said. “She did have a say in it, you know.”

“I hope you broke his nose at least.” When Steve didn’t say anything, she made a guttural noise of disgust. “Pathetic.”

“What would breaking his nose solve?” he asked reasonably. He didn’t want to tell her that last time he and Jonathan had gotten in a fight, Jonathan had punched his lights out.

“It would feel good! Don’t you ever do stupid, impulsive things because they feel good?”

Steve thought about it. “Uh. Huh. No, I guess not.”

“Pathetic,” she said again.

“What is--”

“Pull over,” she said suddenly.

Steve was surprised but did as she asked.

“Park the car. Turn off the engine.”

He did. “What--”

Kali surged forward, kissing Steve with an intensity that took his breath away. She pulled back long enough for him to mutter, “Holy shit,” before she had launched herself onto the driver’s side, straddling his lap and fisting his shirt in her hands. She kissed him again, and this time, Steve had the presence of mind to kiss her back. His hands ran up her hips, her sides, her back; she shifted and the horn gave one short blast.

“Jesus--”

“Come on.”

Kali maneuvered off his lap and into the backseat, tugging Steve after her.

“Is this you getting me back for karaoke, because I gotta say--”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Kali said before she kissed him again.

.

Later, when they lay in a cramped tangle in the backseat of Steve’s car, Kali muttered a curse.

“That fucking song is stuck in my head.”

Steve smiled. “It’s a good song.”

She made a noise that clearly told him she disagreed.

“Just a small town girl,” he started. “Livin’ in a lonely world…”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

“She took the midnight train goin’ anywhere…”

“Steve.”

“Just a city boy.”

“STEVE.”

“It’s about us,” he said suddenly.

She sat up to look at him. “What?”

“I mean, you’re a city girl, I’m a small town boy,” he said, totally unperturbed. “And holy shit, there was singing in a smoky room with the smell of wine and cheap perfume!”

“You are so lame,” she groaned.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her back down to him. “For a smile we can share the night, it goes on and on and on and--”

She kissed him. “Shut the fuck up.”

[spinningsidetable]

Gentleman: 1/3

Pairing: Octavian/Leo Valdez (leotavian)

Warning/Genre: Genre/Warning: AU, No Godly Parents, Spy Shit, Action Movie Parody, Non-Linear Story Telling, Admittedly Unhealthy Relationship, Descriptions of Violence, Dubious Consent Smooching, Sexual Situations,"Humor"

Rating: Mature

Summary: Leo has worked for the Agency for awhile now, the guy in the chair helping Agents save the world and all that, but now it seems like an actual supervillain is enamored with him.

(Notes: I'm condensing this, so long story short and all that, this isn't meant to be a healthy ideal relationship, it was born entirely out of American action movie tropes. I'm going to trust those reading this are adults and able to tell reality from fiction.)

“It’s the perfect plan!” Leo exclaimed, slamming his hand down on the blueprints in front of the group. “I know it’ll work. Because, I mean, I came up with it. When have my plans ever gone bad?”

Jason and Piper exchanged a look, as did virtually everyone else in the room, including grunts in the background working on machinery.

“I…well, let’s spitball some other thoughts, maybe?” Jason spoke slowly, as though he didn’t want to spook a small animal. Or, small Leo that was.

“Right! Let’s maybe revisit that miniature drone idea?” Piper offered, looking to some other people behind her who seemed to catch on and began nodding animatedly.

“Oh- oh, yeah! The drones!”

“That’s a good idea!”

“Great job, Leo!”

Leo’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “I thought we already established that he had EMP devices set up around the perimeter of the base, so we can’t get in any drones, micro or otherwise.”

“Oh,” Piper’s face fell. “Well. Maybe underwater drones? I’m sure Percy could-“

Percy was sitting up on a desk behind Leo and shook his head very animatedly, throwing up a big NO with hand signs.

“Right, so, my plan is the best.” Leo said slowly, looking around the room. “Right?”

Piper bit her lip and looked pleadingly up at Jason. Hero Jason. Crime fighting, evil syndicate breaking up Hero. Leo’s best friend since freshman year of high school, Jason.

“It’s just…we’re worried about you, Leo.” Horrible liar, Jason.

“It could go wrong, really quickly.”

Leo rolled his eyes, tapping the laser pointer in his left hand against the desk. The whole presentation with slides had taken 25 minutes.

“He’s never hurt me before, Jason, come on. You know this is our best chance to get in the compound and plant the virus. This is the only way we can save those congressmen!...Or was it senators this time?”

Leo hadn't really cared one way or the other, only skimming through the documents. All he knew was he hadn’t, and wouldn't, vote for the guys.

“Is it though? Is seducing a supervillain really the best way?” Grover asked, slightly nervous. Then again, a lot of secret agents tended to have a nervous or paranoid disposition.

Leo threw his hands up, exasperated. “In this specific situation?! YES! Look, like I said, he’s never hurt me. Come on guys, I’ve always just been…the repair guy, the guy in the chair. But, this one crazy asshole seems to be in love with me, so let me do the super-secret spy shit for once! Instead of Jason, or Reyna, or Percy!”

“…But he’s not in love with you.” Annabeth said, frowning, before being shushed and chided by about five people. “What? He’s not.”

“Uhhh,” Leo paused, before he laughed incredulously. Were they all crazy? Had they met the guy?

“Yes, he is? He’s tried to capture me like…fifteen times now? He calls me all sorts of pet names in like…so many different languages? He poured me a glass of wine from the 1700’s for fucks sake!”

There was complete silence, besides a nervous cough by a soldier in the back.

“…What?”

“Don’t…you think, maybe…that’s a little suspicious?” Piper asked, her voice going down to calm soothing mode. “That the bad guy would target…you?”

Leo frowned, glancing down at himself and back up. Rude. “Why?”

“Because you’re a weak link,” Reyna huffed finally having had enough. Jason hissed something at the female captain, looking more like an upset bird more than a 6’2 blond superman.

“Shush, Grace. Look, you’re Jason’s friend. Which means you have more information on him than anyone else besides Piper. You’re also in charge of our engineering and online resources, which means taking you out of the equation is important. Plus, you probably have connections to virtually every world leader, through your contacts at the Agency. He’s not going to chance taking Piper again, not after the first time he tried to kidnap her, Jason nearly brought down half a mountain.”

The first time Jason had met Piper, the girl had discovered for herself a secretive plot to kidnap and use major film and media stars. She had broken into a closed off building she suspected was involved, high up in the alps and ended up captured. Jason (and a whole team, but mostly Jason) had been sent in to extract her. The lovestruck blond idiot fell head over heels, nearly cost them the mission, if it hadn’t been for Piper’s quick thinking. She had been part of the group ever since.

Reyna looked Leo up and down, unimpressed. She’d led a black Ops group for over half a decade now, and Leo never seemed to give proper distance and caution to herself and her team. The engineer had gotten himself high clearance just from being associated with Jason Grace. It wasn’t like he underestimated her, or treated her poorly, but the kid lived in a bubble of his own creation. Everything was at least partly a game to him. Leo was either often dangerously flippant or damn near suicidal. Or, that’s what it seemed like. If he wanted to be an Agent, he’d have to learn now. He couldn't continue to assume he and Jason could buddy cop their way through things like a bad B movie.

“You, Valdez? You’re the easy target. You have no romantic affiliation. You’re not physically strong enough to stop him; and you’re apparently extremely gullible for a smart person.”

Jason was pinching his nasal bridge by the time Reyna had finished speaking, while Piper was looking resolutely anywhere besides Leo.

Leo blinked, and opened his mouth, before closing it. “That…That’s not. No, he’s…he tells me he’s-”

“Attracted to you? No offense, but you’re far from the most attractive man on this vessel. You’re not even the most attractive gay short man in this room.”

Nico, behind Reyna seemed to connect the dots, and frowned. “Was that a compliment or-“

“Look, Leo, we appreciate the offer, really.” Piper pushed Reyna to the side slightly, shooting her a look. “But, we…should probably look for …other options, okay.?

“I’m bi,” Leo said hollowly. “I’m not gay.”

“Leo, don’t make this into something it isn’t.” Jason exhaled sharply out of his nose. “You really don’t want to have a supervillain attracted to you. I get it, the guys weird, it's confusing…look, come on, let's brainstorm something else. I'm sure you still have half a dozen other ideas.”

“You…all agree with her?” Leo shook his head, as something in his chest clenched. Did they think so little of him? “You think he’s just…trying to get information out of me? Because I’m some…naïve, weak, loveless idiot?”

No one said anything more, so Leo laughed to himself. This was like all highschool and college all over again. “Okay, wow. Fine. Whatever.”

“Leo-“ Jason started, but Leo turned to leave the ready room.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just go back to engineering. You’re right, obviously, you’re always right, aren’t you?” The door slammed behind him.

“Fuck that,” Leo hissed, stomping down the small metal corridors on the aircraft carrier. He muttered to himself the entire way, ignoring the looks he got from seamen.

“So what if I’m not…Nico, or Jason, or Percy. Maybe I’m his type?” Leo had, as far as Leo knew, never been anyone’s type, but that didn’t matter. One girl in 9th grade described him as an over eager gerbil.

"Okay, so maybe Reyna has a point, I’d be useful to his evil schemes – but that just means I’m smart! Smart is sexy, right? That’s probably a kink right, like bibliosexual or something? He probably just appreciates my abilities on multiple levels! It’s not like he only became interested in me when he found out who I was in relation to Jason!” Wait, that’s exactly what had happened, wasn’t it? Leo stopped dead in the middle of a hallway.

“Oh god, she’s right, isn’t she?” Leo stewed in his own angst for a minute, before deciding to say fuck it and just return to his room. He continued to grumble, passing by some of the same soldiers who sent him increasingly odd looks until he reached his room.

“Of course, who would be attracted to Leo Valdez? I can’t even have a singular supervillain?” He slammed that door for emphasis too.

“Well, I may know of one. Hello, passerotto mio.”

Leo froze, he unfortunately knew that voice quite well, before turning cautiously. Sure enough, a young man sat on his bed, legs crossed in a very nice black suit. He was taller than Jason, but slimmer in figure, with a head of immaculate pale blonde hair. His tone was soft and casual, but his pale blue eyes were always intense.

“Octavian,” Leo said slowly. “How the fuck did you get in here?”

Octavian stood up, nearly having to crouch in the small rooms within the aircraft carrier. He held a hand over his heart, and sighed. “I searched for you in my soul, amore, and found you here.”

“Haha. Don't make fun of me. Okay, that’s bullshit.” Leo held up a finger and pointed at the ground. “I mean, here, in my room? In the exceptionally well defended aircraft military carrier in the middle of the fucking nowhere Pacific Ocean, without anyone noticing?”

Octavian smiled, which was always a bit disturbing, because he looked slightly (understatement) manic at times.

“Maybe I’m from an underwater civilization, like Atlantis; or, maybe I have private submarine, radar shielding… and I’m sorry to tell you this, but not everyone on this ship is so…sympathetic to your friends causes.”

Bad, that was very bad, really very bad news. They had turncoats, spies. Everyone on board was in danger. Leo needed to stall the man, as best as possible. Jason or Piper would likely come to check on him after a bit.

“That’s…got to be some really good radar shielding, to hide from this ship.” Leo said slowly, leaning up against the door.

Octavian walked closer. This man had toppled small governments, created rebellions, killed politicians and businessmen. “…Want to tell me how it works?”

“Oh, I’d love to, but I’m afraid my tech knowledge isn’t anywhere near as advanced as yours, lux vitae meae.” Octavian was close enough to smell his cologne. He smelled good, he always smelled good; Leo smelled like engine grease usually. Leo didn't know anything about cologne, but Octavian’s was never overpowering, it was the kind you wanted to lean in closer to sniff, next to their body.

“I can always ask my people for the tech details. If you’d stay with me until morning, I’d love to tell you over breakfast.”

“Latin this time?” Leo’s ears were heating up, and he fanned himself. “Boy, just jumping right to it, huh?”

A small smirk tipped up the corner of Octavian’s lips, “I’d be a perfect gentleman.”

Nervous laughter bubbled up in Leo’s throat. A gentleman supervillain. Ridiculous.

“That’s…great and all,” Leo stuttered over a few words. “But…the jig is up, you know. I’m…wise to you. If you think I’m some…weak link, you’re wrong.”

Octavian’s brows furrowed just ever so slightly.

“Yeah,” Leo nodded to himself, feeling mildly emboldened in the face of death. “I’m never going to tell you anything about Jason, or any codes, or anything about my machines! You can sweet talk all you want, but I’m not that naïve!” Yes, he was. Apparently. “You can drop the act, you’re not tricking anyone.”

“Tricking you?” Octavian repeated slowly. “With….sweet talk?”

“Yup,” Leo popped the p, taking a step forward away from the door. He shoved a finger into Octavian’s chest, who looked down at it, amusement clearly growing on his face. It was a familiar look, like the first time they met.

“We both know you don’t have the hots for me. Look at me. I’m…not even the hottest short gay guy on the boat.” Leo faltered slightly, trying to repeat Reyna’s words. Would Octavian go after Nico next? Mitchell? Mitchell was kind of an asshole, so Leo hoped not. Octavian could do better- wait, he was a mass murderer.

“I see.” Octavian grabbed up Leo’s hand and kissed his knuckles. “Says who?”

Leo’s brain stopped functioning. “Buh, what wait? I-…everyone apparently?”

Octavian peppered kisses down his hand, to his fingers. “Ah, and who is everyone? When did this happen? You used to be so fiery, telling me you could never be with a man like me…Now, you believe I’m lying?”

“I-..I…” Leo’s eyes were focused on the pale hand around his own tan one. He still had dirt and grime on his hands, but that didn’t seem to matter. It never seemed to matter. In fact the more filthy Leo was, the more interested Octavian acted.

“They…told me my plan was bad…”

Octavian paused, looking Leo in the eyes. “Plan?”

“I…was going to offer myself up to you, seduce you, and then plant a virus?” Leo laughed, awkwardly trying to pull his hand back. “I’m guessing you would have just tortured and killed me, huh?”

Octavian’s eyes had dilated, and his head tilted just slightly to the side. “Seduced me? How so?”

Leo flushed. “Man, I don’t know. You know, I only have spy movies to go off of? I guess… wear something skimpy, get all up close and personal, but put off sex until I can drug you asleep? Something like that? Do they make poison lipstick, or is that just a TV comic book thing?”

Teeth nipped at Leo’s finger tip, just slightly, before Octavian answered in a rough voice. “If you think I would kill you for that, you’re very mistaken. And, while I can’t possibly object to you in less clothing, I find you quite seductive as you are.”

Leo looked down at his grungy white tank top and brown oil stained jogger type shorts. “Okay, now I’m really starting to realize how full of shit you are. Drop the act-”

He was cut off, by getting pushed against the door. Lips met his in a demanding kiss, while hips pressed against Leo’s stomach gave away the fact maybe he wasn’t so full of bullshit. Octavian was hard, not fully, but enough that butterflies in Leo’s stomach began to flutter. Leo’d never been with a man before, he’d barely been with a woman. He’d spent ages 16-23 essentially as Jason’s weird sidekick. They’d been trying to save the world for the last 3 years, and before that it was just crunch week, except if crunch week was 4 solid years. Any guy or girl around was attracted to Jason, or Piper, or Nico, or Percy, the list grew and grew as they met more and more agents.

Leo whined slightly, clenching his hands into the suit in front of him. Octavian was always such a good kisser. Leo found that out kidnapping 6#. Leo was properly distracted, playing tonsil hockey until something blasted him out of the moment.

An actual blast, that rocked the ship. The metal groaned, and creaked in a way that told Leo the ship was likely taking on water, a lot of it.

Octavian pulled back, lips flushed a lovely red, smiling like the cat that got the Canary. “Ah, well, that’s my que. You know what you said about drugging someone asleep?”

Leo paused, and frowned, and then realized. “Oh.” Ya valió madre.

In one of Octavian’s hands was a very small patch, that he had affixed to the back of Leo’s neck as he kissed him. Leo’s vision began to blur, and he felt the familiar sensation of blacking out. This was not the first time Octavian had used such a thing on him. Afterall, this was kidnapping number 16. Knock out patch was roughly kidnapping #9 which Leo didn't remember very well, besides laying in bed with a headache and Octavian massaging his temples. Leo had built up more of a tolerance since then.

“Sleep, petit souris.” Octavian’s voice became a garbled mush of noises. Leo mumbled something that sounded like 'you're French now?' before he stumbled and collapsed into open arms.

“Computers, computers,” Leo sang to himself, as he pulled out hard drives and wires. “Only an idiot doesn’t protect their computers!”

It wasn’t like it was Leo’s first time out or anything, him and Jason had already taken on some serious nasty pieces of work, but this was their first real mission together. Jason had been roped into the Agency a year and a half ago, but Leo was left sitting in an office. Of course, the Agency had excellent offices. Nice chairs, some nice pieces of tech, coffee stations. But, it was getting boring, just surveying cameras, talking to Jason and other Agents over comms. Leo had wanted action, so when some freak that called himself Octavian (real name unknown) captured a good sized law firm in the heart of New York city, he jumped at the chance.

Most of the bad guys and Agents fighting were in another part of the building; Leo wasn’t trained for any of that really, but he was trained to take down any computers, networks, and surveillance the dastardly bastard had set up. A couple Agents were at the look out, keeping Leo covered as he went to work. They were the strong silent type, probably, didn’t want to talk to Leo much. Because of duty, and honor. Definitely not because they thought he was annoying.

“You know,” Leo pulled out a screwdriver from his toolbelt, “you should really let me make some customizations to your weapons. Sure, they’re good, but they could be so much better.”

“I’m sure they’d appreciate the thought,” a voice said behind Leo. That was not Hank or Sam, Leo realized, and scrambled to his feet.

A blond man stood at the doorway, his body posture was relaxed, but his expression was anything but. Hank, one of the Agents, slid down the wall, throat bloody and flowing down his chest at an alarming rate.

Leo’s hands went cold, as he watched the man of the hour, Octavian, casually wipe arterial blood splatter off his cheek like it was jam.

Sam wasn’t as far gone as Hank had been, and he struggled to stand up to fight back. Octavian let out a gleeful laugh, before grabbing Hank’s gun and blasting Sam through the bottom of his chin and out the top of his skull.

“Oh, my god.” Leo whispered, stomach turning over. It wasn’t the first death he had seen, not the first dead body, but this was a small closet; Leo was right up close and personal. A piece of Sam landed on Leo’s boots.

“You…came! Octavian, sir, I was captured!” Leo gasped out, coming to his senses. “I’m so glad to see you! I thought those…Agency bastards would kill me!”

Octavian had taken a moment to grab up personnel information from the fallen Agents, but at Leo’s voice, he zeroed in on the shorter man. The same expression that had been on Octavian’s face when he killed Sam came back full force.

“Try again.”

Leo gulped, holding up his hands. “I’m the computers guy! I swear! They trapped me in here when I came to check on the servers they had already started to destroy!”

Octavian held up Hank’s gun and cocked it. “Last chance, pieni rotta.”

Leo momentarily forgot his fear as he full grimaced. “Yo, man, did you just call me a rotten penis? What even language was that?”

Octavian looked more amused, shrugging a shoulder, but tilted the gun back and forth in a lazy manner. “Tic toc, tic toc.”

Leo’s shoulders dropped, “what answer would keep you from blasting my brains out?”

Octavian actually seemed to think about it. “Well, you’re obviously tech savy, otherwise you wouldn’t be here - that could always be useful, however if you’re too high ranking you become a target – too low, I have no use for you.”

Leo grinned, clapping his hands together. “That’s like, so convenient, you have no idea! Because, I am, in reality, a moderately high level engineer! Like, perfect level of useful enough not to kill immediately! I’m so glad we sorted this out. In fact, you don’t even have to torture me!”

Octavian holstered the gun with a nod. Holy shit, had that actually worked?

“Good try. Now, who are you actually? We can have this conversation civilly.”

No, of course not. Leo snorted. “Well, aren’t you the gentleman.”

A crackle from Leo’s comms kicked in, as Jason’s voice came through. “Leo! You need to evacuate immediately! I repeat. Evacuate immediately!”

“Leo,” Octavian pronounced slowly, deeply, to the point it felt nearly invasive. “You’re Leo Valdez? I’d heard of you, of course, but I had no idea…”

Leo, tight lipped and clench jawed, lifted the comm to his mouth. “NOT A GREAT TIME, JASON. OVER.”

Then he turned back to Octavian. “Yeah, well, I’ve made a point to remove myself from anything trackable. Plus, the Agency didn’t want to let me off leash until today. Obviously, I'm just too dangerous. Five foot two inches of Rambo.”

“How is your first experience in the field?” Octavian asked casually, seemingly playing along.

“Oh,” Leo shrugged a shoulder. “You know. Started off okay, tons of bacon at the buffet, then we broke into this building to save a bunch of rich white guys in suits. Now, an even whiter guy slash possible supervillain is holding me hostage. Also, I’ve got brains from a guy on my shoes. It is what it is.”

Octavian’s expression, inexplicably, softened slightly from a 13 on the Murdery scale, to…maybe a 4?

“You amuse me, schattig mechanic. If we were under better circumstances, I’d love to take you out. Do you like Italian?”

“Why? Are you Italian?”

“Very possibly, or maybe not.”

“Well, you know, you’re kind of hot in a scary way, so I’d probably take you up on that. I get out like…never.” Leo questioned if he should be flattered or not, or what the fuck a schattig was. Didn't sound Italian. Something Nordic maybe?

“But, again, guys brains on my shoe.”

“You really seem stuck on the shoe thing.”

“Much like the grey matter on my shoe.”

“I’ll get you a new pair,” Octavian, stepped aside from the doorway as more men showed up. Not Leo’s men.

“But, first, I’m afraid little kiniun…you’ll be coming with me.”

[rodypowderedmilk]

RIP WIP: if you see this post, respond with a snippet of a fic you (sadly) won’t be completing.

It doesn’t make any sense, is the thing. This insatiable need to watch Harry dance around the new born alpacas as she puts up lights for Christmas. She leans down and sings to them, pulls leaves off the trees and feeds it to them. She presses kisses to their dusty fur and scrunches her nose at them when she sings low.

Moving in across the street from Harry and her mom had been the best unintended decision she ever made. For some reason, the mother and daughter owned 43 alpacas, 2 llamas, and one llampaca. She remembers the first time meeting Anne, Harry’s mother. She’d walked up to the house, looking for directions and was approached by what she had thought was a llama. It butted it’s head again her shoulder and proceded to rub it’s face against her to it’s hearts content. The force of the animal nearly knocked her over but she’d never tell anyone that. Anne had come over, then.

“Tony!” she yelled, “Ugh, you dumb thing,” she’d said, exasperated and shook her head at the animal.

“Sorry,” she’d said, “Ya’ all right?” and pulled the insistent animal’s head away from Louis’ shoulder.

“Yeah, m’ alright,” Louis’d responded, big smiles and intrigued eyes watching the animal.

“Friendly llama you’ve got here,” she said, laying the charm on as she moved to pet the animal’s pelt.

“It’s an alpaca!” she heard someone yell about five yards away, where someone was filling up a trough for what seemed to be goats. They were bleating and jumping away happily at her feet, small and excited. That’s when Louis was able to look away and finally see the girl.

She was gorgeous, to put it simply, absolutely gorgeous. Thick jeans and a flannel and a belt, wavy hair and bangs. Proper Mick Jagger look it was. And she was looking at Louis, amused and unimpressed.

“It’s an alpaca,” she said again, and cocked her hip.

“Oh, don’t mind her,” the older woman said, “She’s a bit of a know-it-all,” she told Louis conspiratorally.

“Ey! I’m not deaf, Mum!” she called. Louis laughed, “I’m Louis,”

“I’m Anne,” the woman said, “And that there is my dummy of a daughter, Harry,”

“Mum!” Harry whined and Louis had simply been charmed.

Thanksgiving was yesterday, and Harry immediately, promptly at 5:30 in the morning wakes up, beanie placed upon her bangs and begins decorating for Christmas. Louis knows this because of the stubborn insomnia left over from the constant travelling. She tries not to think about it. She’s been up since 4:43 and is on her third cup of tea and her fifth run to the loo. She starts with hanging ornaments from the very large, very tall pine tree right next to their driveway in the ugliest, cutest jumper Louis has ever seen. She’s paired it with her high waisted thick jeans and a belt, as per usual. And Louis is enthralled, as per usual.

She has yet to tell Harry that her birthday is the day before Christmas in the hopes of delaying the inevitable. Harry becomes extremely excitable when it comes to birthdays. It’s her thing. She writes silly songs, sends letters, and buys way too many gifts. The problem is, Harry has always been too emotionally intuitive for her own good, and yet, at times, utterly oblivious. She’ll know, like she always does, psychoanalyze, like she always does, hit it right on the nose like she always does. (She sees right through Louis which is frankly terrifying and also concerning) It’ll start hypothetically, why do i feel like people lump your birthday and christmas together. And then she’ll get that sad mopey muppet face and make Louis cry. Like she always does. So she hasn’t told her yet and is wondering how long she can get away with it.

Her curly haired friend was just that. A friend, and a quite good one at that. She’d invited Louis over for Thanksgiving yesterday, sat her right at the end of the table and placed her home made pumpkin pie right next to her. Louis teased her endlessly, “This isn’t nearly as good as Costco pumpkin pie,” she told her.

“You and your American shops,” Harry’d responded, pretended to gag, “What even is a Costco?”

“Oh darling, do not try me with the American crap. This holiday is American,” Louis says as she tries to slice the pie, grumbling when Harry swats her hand away.

“And what about it?” Harry had said, inquisitive eyebrow raised in challenge. Louis simply shrugged and began to speak with the other guests Harry had invited. Harry’s Orphans, Anne liked to call them. There was Chloe from Tesco, one of the only stores in town, who’d moved out here after finishing college and tried to find some semblance of independence from her mother. She misses her terribly and speaks of her often. Louis can sympathize. Anna, who Harry had immediately been drawn to because she thought she shared a name with her mum, works at the local sandwhich place and is the only non-white person in town. Harry has learned a few words in Spanish and is incredibly adorable when trying to get the pronounciation right. And lastly, Niall, the only fellow in the whole group. Despite the man’s extroverted demeanor and joyous laughter, even Harry hasn’t been able to pry his life story from him. He lives at the end of the couldesac, moved in four weeks after Louis and seemed to be renting. It was a collective effort to subtly figure out everything about the man, although he charmed the pants off anyone who tried and so none were succesful.

Louis wonders how they’ll celebrate Christmas while she continues to watch Harry jump to try and reach higher branches. She hides a smile behind her mug. Harry Styles is the love of her life and nothing will convince her otherwise. Of course this does not mean she’ll ever pursue her, despite Anne’s knowing smirks and Niall’s goodnatured nudging. It’s much more fun to love Harry from a far and a lot safer, too.

It begins when Harry asks her to come into town with her because “I need more decoarations. This will simply not be enough,” she’d said, earnest and mocking all at the same time. They pile into Louis’ pick up truck that she’d wisely invested in once she’d decided to move out here. She hopes it sufficiently communicates GAY to the general population if her outward appearance does not.

“So,” Harry begins and Louis does not need to look over to know that the dimples have popped out. Louis suppresses a groan.

“I’ve always wondered when your birthday is, Lou,” she says, mocking ignorance.

Louis groans then.

“And recently a little birdie told me that it might… maybe- perhaps- possibly be the day before Christmas,” she feigns dismay.

“Is this true?” she asks, turning to face Louis and placing her elbows on the console.

“Quisas,” Louis says then, wondering if Harry will remember Anna’s training.

“Oh, you dirty rat, you! You didn’t tell me your birthday was on Christmas Eve!” she says, softly punching Louis’ shoulder repeatedly. Louis remains unharmed due to the nineteen layers of clothing she’s wearing.

“I was working up to it!” her voice steadily rises.

“No you weren’t!” Harry insists, voice rising as well.

“Okay, I wasn’t, but you know how you get about birthdays!” she whines.

“And?”

When Louis’ only response is garbled noises and shrugs Harry promptly replies, “Inexcusable,” and Louis lets out an indignant squawk.

“Your punishment is absolutely unbearably amazing birthday treament. I’m sorry!” she turns her head away and gives Louis the hand, “There’s nothing to be done about it.”

And when Louis attempts to object more, “No, sorry, I don’t make the rules,”

“You dumb bitch,” Louis mutters.

“No, but really, Lou,” her soft voices becomes much more sincere, “Do you not like your birthday or something?”

“Oh, no, no. It’s totally fine, I don’t mind, you can bake my entire house into a cake for all I care,” Louis snorts and then thinks better of it, “No, don’t you fucking dare bake my house into a cake you birthday monster,” she reaches over and shoves Harry when she hears her giggle.

“I’m driving, you absolute villian,” she says, while she attempts to wrangle the wild girl into her side of the car.

“I’m going to get you all the presents,��� Harry sighs dreamily, “And Christmas presents, too,” she adds. It’s then that Louis freezes up a bit.

“Wait,” pink lips frown, “Wait, did people-” she stops and frowns some more, “Did people lump your birthday presents in with your Christmas presents?”

Louis holds her breath and stares pointedly out the windshield, “Hm?”

“Louis,” Harry whines, “They did, didn’t they?”

Louis shrugs, “It’s not a big deal. I was convinced when I was younger all the people putting up lights were celebrating me birthday, so I guess it evens out,”

“Aw, Louis. That’s darling,” she gushes, “But wait- Oh, you stupid head, you’re trying to distract me from your childhood tragedies with your cuteness,” she leans over and shoves Louis’ shoulder.

“Harold, I’m driving!” she says, as she attempts to swerve the car back into their lane.

“No one lives here, dummy, and stop distracting me with potential car accidents. We’re talking about important things.”

Harry makes it a point to ask about her birthday at least once a day. It’s on the first day of December she asks, “Wait, are you going home for Christmas and your birthday?” She freezes for a second at the thought of home, eyes glazing over for a second before she eases the tention in her shoulders and moves her thoughts elsewhere.

It’s strange to hear someone refer this time of year as her birthday. Most people have glossed it over in favor of the much larger holiday it predates.

Louis shakes her head, “I’m just settling in here,” she explains, close to the truth but not qite “And who else would eat your dumb pie during Christmas?” It’s a bit nerve wracking, and frankly presumptuous to invite herself to Harry’s Christmas.

“Won’t you want to go home and visit your family? Your sisters? Oh, and your brother, sorry,” Harry seems confused, head cocked and curly bangs sliding across her forehead. The concern is endearing although the subject matter stirs anxiousness deep in her stomach, awakens the melancholy pang in her heart.

Louis shakes her head, “I’ll visit them for New Years, maybe. We haven’t sorted it out, yet. Big procrastinator, I am,”

A big smile blossoms on Harry’s face, lips stretching and dimples appearing.

“So you’ll be celebrating Christmas with us, then?” she asks, hands fiddling in front of her, raising on her toes. It’s impossible to be sad- to even think about being sad- when Harry is smiling at her like that.

“Who else would I celebrate it with, dummy?” Louis sticks her tongue out at her, perfectly mature, and squeezes her eyes shut. She opens them to Harry beaming at her, practically bursting with excitement. Suddenly, Harry leans forward on the balls of her feet and presses a kiss to Louis’ cheek.

“I have so many plans!” she squeals and runs off, baby alpacas trailing after her.

Monthly movie night has been deeply infiltrated by Christmas, as has everything else in Harry and Anne’s house. The only light comes from the television and the single string of Christmas lights, battery operated from the convenience store by Harry’s work. She’s got hot cocoa between her hands, sweaterpaws shielding her from too warm warmth. The dimples are out in full force and Louis cannot stop staring. There are bruises developing along her ribs from the amount of times that Niall has elbowed her, and she’s sure that Niall is developping the same amount of bruises from the times she’s retaliated. He’s been staring at Anna all night and it’s infuriating. Straight people are supposed to have their shit together when it comes to romance. Right?

Anyways, the season is coming and coming fast. The familiar feeling of wonder and cozy warmth is spreading through her bones and she just wants to sit on the carpet, watching the telly, preferably in someone’s lap, preferably Harry’s. She has simple wants and needs, really.

Harry has passed her a third cup of eggnog, “It’s Christmas spirit in drink form, Louis, drink up.”

She watches, entranced as Harry waltzes clumsily around the room to the deep croon of Michael Buble with her cat, Dusty. The other three cats are in the other room, watching as Anne makes holiday goodies while the dogs have been banished to the cold. Harry pouts every time she looks outside and Louis rolls her eyes. Then she looks away and tries to hide her smile.

Harry’s sitting behind her on the couch and she finds herself leaning back into her legs as she becomes warmer and looser watching Eloise at Chrimstastime. Niall’s right next to her on the floor and he’s as rigid as a board, doing his very best not to make any physcial contact with the oblivious and very shy girl behind him. Chloe is chatting happily away with Anne and Harry, although quiet as to not disturb the film. And that’s when she feels the fingers first skim her hair, just the nape of her neck, the whisper of a touch, absentminded maybe. It has her shivering and seeking more of the touch, inching closer into Harry’s space, the warmth of her legs against Louis’ shoulders. Her eyes close involuntarily for a second when the touch returns, a thumb sweeping over the peach fuzz at the back of her neck.

She swallows and looks over at Niall, rigid as anything and attempts to cover up how affected she is. She elbows him in the ribs and sends him falling into Anna’s legs. Her legs immediately move to accomodate him and she leans forward almost imperceptibly. He looks noticably more comfortable. Jesus Christ does she have to do everything for him? And then she feels Harry’s hands in her hair again, soft and attentive, smoothing over the back of her head where the hair is the shortest. She cards her fingers through the longer hair at the top, perfectly styled mess just plain messy now.

“I like it that way,” she always tells Louis when she’s ambushed the Doncaster girl early in the morning under the guise of having no tea left. Louis always calls her on her bullshit, but makes her tea anyways, pyjama pants dragging on the floor.

Louis turns around, an unimpressed look on her face and watches as Harry just smiles at her. She rolls her eyes and turns back around, making a vague waving gesture to signal to Harry that she wants her to continue petting her. She does.

It’s when Louis can hardly keep her eyes open that Harry’s fingers slide back down to her neck, tracing something into her skin. It brings goosebumps to her skin, warm and cold at the same time before she slides her fingers to the back of Louis’ ears. It’s soft and vulnerable there where she’s gently thumbing over, hidden to the rest of the world and it feels like some kind of metaphor, beautiful and sweet and unheard of. She can’t stop smiling.

She falls asleep there, between the legs of the sweetest girl she’s ever met, lips turned up and eyelids fluttering under Christmas lights.

Waking up, for the first two seconds she thinks she’s home with her family, Mum waking them up and sending them to their room with a few soft words and a goodnight kiss. When she realizes it’s only Anne, the world comes startingly into focus, Christmas lights blaringly bright where before it was only a hazy glow. She gives Anne a smile, and doesn’t lean against Harry’s legs again.

“C’mon, you lot, off to bed,” she says, proper mum, and ushers them up the stairs. It’s not until Louis was halfway up that she catches herself.

“Oh, Anne, sorry. I’ve better be heading home,” she starts, blinking rapidly, confusion and all kinds of emotions tangling up in her chest.

“Nonsense,” Anne tuts and continues to bat them up the stairs. “Harry sleeps over all the time, it’s no problem.”

This makes Harry laugh and Louis joins her, “Well, I mean- she’s your daughter,”

Anne only shrugs. Despite Harry being right behind her, she can’t bring herself to look at her. She doesn’t want to be sad in Harry’s presence. She straightens her back resolutely and flinches any time she thinks Harry might come close to touching her, scared that if she does, she’ll feel the melancholy thrum under her skin. It doesn’t make any sense, but knowing Harry she’ll find a thread of sadness and tug on it until Louis falls to pieces like the string pinatas Anna’s told them about.

Anne opens the door to a one bedroom room, and Louis pointedly ignores the very subtle smirk Harry’s mum gives.

“Alright, girls?” she says, with a smile and winks as she closes the door.

Louis plops face first on the bed, spreads her arms out, tries to deflect her awkwardness and tries not to acknowledge how small the bed is. She rolls onto her back and kicks off her shoes, doesn’t meet Harry’s eyes, tries to ignore how loaded the situation feels.

“Are you gonna get in bed, you fat lump, or are you gonna stand there all night? Sleep like a horse,” she says this all with her eyes closed, elbow over her eyes and tries to make the situation lighter than it is.

She hears Harry snort from across the room and listens as the bed springs creak under the weight of her jump onto the bed. They squirm around trying to get under the covers, trying to escape the chill of the unused guest room.

They’re cold toes brush each other under the flannel sheets and Harry giggles.

“Get your cold toes away from me, you git,” she says and pushes her own feet against Louis’ legs, nearly shoving her clear off the bed.

“You menace,” Louis gasps, and swipes her cold toes under Harry’s fleece pajama pants, pushing the material up to her knobby knees.

“Lou!” she shrieks, “You cut me with your toenails!” she whisper shouts.

“You cut me with your toenails!” the girls dissolve into giggles and settle against each other, legs tangling resting against each other.

“Your leg hair tickles,” Harry whispers suddenly.

“Ah- Harry!” Louis responds, surprised and incredulous. She rolls over and hides her face in Harry’s shoulder.

“You’re so stupid,” she groans and rolls back over. The only thing to do is act normal, push away any possible thought of sadness. She’s more, now than usual, anything she would normally do now heightened to about ten and that includes her affection for Harry. It’s a bit conflicting, her usual instinct to hide her fondness for Harry and the instinct to deflect, hide her emotions from her.

“This used to be my room, you know,” Harry says into the dark.

“Yeah?”

“There weren’t any alpacas or anything back then,”

“No, that was all you,”

“And how do you know that, Louis Tomlinson?”

“They’re your alpacas, Harry. They worship you,” she whispers, and so do I, she thinks.

She wakes up the next morning pressed into the delicious warmth of another body. Her cheek rubs against an impossibly soft sweater and she nuzzles deeper into the lovely coziness. Her grip tightens involuntarily where it’s holding Harry’s side- Harry. Louis has somehow managed to sneak her hand inside Harry’s shirt and grab hold of her smooth, warm skin.