#tho tbh distance isnt bad

[cringefailfagcat]

god i just love having little to no autonomy with the relationship with my ex who i have to be friends with

[sunnisurrealism]

Hi Timmy,

im sorry for my brash previous post. i did not intend to direct the salty energy towards you, i guess towards the universe in general. the fact that the package with the first usb was not delivered was a tremendous blow to me today. i wouldn't say it was karma because i dont think you deserve this but it does seem like some sort of divine irony. when you were waiting around this was probably slowly occurring to you. literally what a fucking troll. i really hope the next one actually sends! i kept the tracking receipt this time.

im also sad today because the smoke from the forest fires might prevent us from going to Assinaboine. if we dont go i'll be hella disappointed. but its been multiple years now that i couldn't go because of the smoke... which only seems to be getting worse... .... this town Jasper in the northern rockies caught fire today. shit is getting more scary :( Alberta and BC is very susceptible to climate impacts.

i dont really know what else i have to say until the package arrives. i guess i thought the cake scene was a confirmation. in general we all faces problems being too hot to the gun, probably. gotta keep the long distance one way interesting somehow with some trolling. i think the Bad Ass Shitey Donk Shitlords sent the package back, only explanation to me.

anyways the most important part of the current package on the way is the new plot stuff. tbh tho i did already explain all the main points in a post a few days back, i just forgot the part about the flute from your spirit dad somehow after you see the snake and bull. therefore there really isnt anything new intellectually. i reread my meanest messages to you breaking down why it wasnt okay and how conditional things do make sense as an apology and to emphasize that i am truly really sorry :( it also includes the og notes / out take drawings of the TFBD (to be passed along to Grimes), some gifts for grimes, some geschenken for MB ^uwu^, and some gifts / a USB for elon. i know this is inconvenient for you to pass along gifts but tbh with the way it went down i knew i had to send you the notes and the usb i was planning on using for you was the one i used for elon but then i found an extra so tbh i just feel like i didnt have the capacity or money to send multiple packages so im kindly asking you to pass gifts along assuming you wont be up tight about it. i did include some voices notes on elon's USB just for him, but i included the one i originally recorded for him about Das Booble Zwei to catch him up on lore on your usb as well. if you are curious of the shit i said to him it's mostly me emphasizing that our strengths compliment one another, and the worst i said was that sometimes i have a hard time imagining timmy and i having sex together. that was like a month ago tho and i've been healing. so if you're curious that's the worst is said.

now that we are just waiting to see if the package sends idk what else i can do. i am really done and tired. im really happy to be in calgary where my mom can cook for me and i have a bathroom close to my bed. my relationship with my family is 100% good.

i dearly miss you, i dearly love the trailer so much and congratulations! i wish more than anything we could cuddle and kiss to heal from all this shit. hopefully *again* in the dreamworld.

*edit “why conditional things do not make sense” jesus*

klara

[batz]

AGHK

[lustbile]

ah yes my presence has been requested but like…… do u wanna know sexually, romatically or just in general???? jaehyun is…. smthin else LOL like he gives me idgaf vibes but also gives me like ultimate form of romance vibes….. maybe its bc hes an aqua sun but has a taurus moon and pisces rising…. but he also has an aqua venus so likely he would make u chase him lol. def the type to pretend he isnt THAT interested and in all realness probably thinks that open affection and trusting others doesnt seem that safe…. like on one hand hes rly a romantic guy but can also be detached and/or unpredictable!! he has a leo lillith which is insane to me and tells me alot abt him actually, very provocative and visually and sexually appealing (as we all know LOL what a man) hes an aqua stellium which literally just means Emotionally Stunted and Hates Everyone and hes actually rly introverted and easily annoyed by ppl, does not like talking abt how hes feeling (wow an aquarius not liking their own feelings??? shocker) his taurus moon and pisces rising combo r what make him a romantic, w his taurus moon in the second house he tends to only rly entertain/make the first move in a relationship only if hes sure the other party likes him first lol. hes actually very dependant on positive feedback and often looks for admiration but hes also very capable and loyal which is so sweet :,) on the neg side tho w his moon square venus his emotional and romantic needs can actually cause tensions,, and he may not know what he wants. bc of his auqa venus he can come off as stand-offish, is threatened by restrictions of any kind, and will also need his own space. unfortunately, (this is NOT a reflection of him at all, just an observation of this placement in his chart.) he could have affairs, as it is hard for him to define his own boundaries and can get hurt in love very easily. marraige may not be for him, tbh. long distance relationships may seem more attainable or desirable to him tho!! v uncomfortable w grand shows of emotions. hes honestly very open-minded and sees the world the way he wants,, n both his appearances and mannerisms make him quite intriguing to others. (bc of his pisces rising!! honestly not surprised that hes a pisces rising bc he has a v piscean/water sign face/look) sexually hes actually rly more likely to be more into unconventional things, i think. in sex i dont THINK he has a chance of being submissive, if at all. he’s dominant for sure, but not in the way johnny or yuta are. jaehyun idealizes sexuality and love, but hes actually rly rly passionate. i def think hes into your basic rougher kinks: choking, biting, scratching, etc. probably enjoys a bit of slapping, maybe degradation too. could probably into pet play. (puppy moreso than kitten, imo) following on that, probably is elated to let other nct members see you like that. would probably have you sit at his feet in lingerie w your tail and ears, a pretty collar and leash attached to your neck while he has company. it brings out that obsessive need for him to control, and absolutely drives him nuts (especially knowing in the back of his mind that you love and trust him so much that you would let yourself be put in this situation in the first place and enjoy it just as much as he does). i dont think he would ever share, tho, or let anyone watch him fuck you. he seems more like someone who would enjoy sir and master more than daddy when it comes to titles. wants to hear you vocalize everything. affirmations, answering his questions, dissatisfactions, everything. i dont think he’s loud. probably more likely to grunt and growl, and maybe youll get a deep, languide moan when he cums. i do think he’s into somnophilia, the idea of you giving him that level of control, letting him use you like a fleshlight probably rly, rly gets him going. a TEASE. im not a jae bias, but thinking abt him pressing you into the matress w his hand on the back of ur neck and just lowley telling u how bad he wants you, teasing abt how needy u are for his dick. (continuing in another ask lol rip)-🪐

— 🪐

I’m gonna put the other message in a readmore just so they can be in the same post

-

-

-

is probably into non-con and honestly, more likely to be into dubcon as hes probably a horny ass bitch. could be into period sex, knife play, and asphyxiation play. would absolutely be the typa man to push your face into his pelvis while you suck him off and plug your nose. thrives off the choking noises you make and the whimper you let out when you pull off his dick and he gives u a lil slap on the face. i feel like jae is on another level when it omes to being freaky, you just have to drag it out of him. theres alot of layers to this man and honestly if you want a relationship w him be prepared to put in WORK lol bc (based on his chart, ffs dont attack me for saying this) any type of insecurities where you get jealous/defensive will probably make him vanish into thin air. will probably let problems sit and rot before confronting them. will be more likely to walk out than to fix things unless hes like RLY in love with you. like i said, be prepared to put in work lol. jaehyun is an enigma but he has such potential to be an incredible partner, lover, and best friend. (also this is the first time im ~actually~ looking at his chart lol dont @ me if some things r wrong or off!!!)

[wozwaid]

MY GENSHIN TEAM REALIZING THEY HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU + HOW THEY CONFESS

TW: cursing (its me what else would you expect), brutal honesty, spoilers for their voice lines and stories

FEATURING: Beidou, Bennett, Xiao, and Chongyun!

not proofread cuz reading is for little bitches i dont need to know how to read

BAD BITCH BEIDOU

 boobies  anyways

- lets assume that you were part of her crew

- being the icon that she is, she’s got hoes on her (left and right) and doesn’t really care too much for romance

- she’s got shit to do!

- but she always makes time for you no matter what the circumstances are

-  she’s WHIPPED for you and its almost unhealthy?

- she’s very aware that she has a crush on you but she doesn’t want her feelings to ruin the dynamic on the ship

- above all else, beidou is your captain

- BUT SHE CANT HELP THE FACT THAT YOU LOOK SO CUTE DOING EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING

- she’s been repressing her feelings for you for the LONGEST time and the crew is sick of it

- “just confess to them already we genuinely don’t care”

- and shes like dope!

so this is how the confession goes

- she takes you off the ship and onto the docs of liyue harbor

- she sits you down on a chair, looks you straight in the eyes, and says “shut the fuck up and listen”

 great start beidou!

- “i really like you and i want to be with you. is that ok?”

- SHE GETS SHY SOMEONE QUICK TAKE A PICUTRE

- if you say yes, yall r happiest couple in the world i stg

- if you say no congratulations you have no home

BENNETT

- MY BOYYYYY!

yes my pfp is my face photoshopped on his body dont judge me my discord server did it

- so you joined his adventure team!

- and he’s already obsessed with you from the get-go. 

- YOU JOINED HIS TEAM!!! OFC HE LOVES YOU

- but he doesn’t think it’s a crush, he basically just thinks that you’re a really good friend and thats all!

- no bennett. that’s not all and you know it.

- he realizes that he has a crush on you when you carry him to the cathedral to get healed by barbara

- seeing how worried you are about him makes him MELT

- so he just confesses right on the spot

- “i think i love you?”

- “i love you too benny but your legs abt to fall off stop talking”

XIAO

- if he xiao would have a crush on you, youd have to be immortal like him

- he closed off his heart to humans since they have a limited lifespan

- so lets say you’re an adeptus!

- he shows up whenever you’re in danger, even if you have the situation handled 

- he uses the excuse that you’re “too weak” and need to train 

- he rolls his eyes and offers to help you but hes SCREAMING INSIDE HIS PLAN FUCKING WORKED!

- he asked zhongli for advice which resulted in him ranting for hours about his crush on you because zhongli is just that easy to talk to tbh

- zhongli and ningguang are probably the only ones that know abt his crush on you.

- ningguang found out on her own don’t ask how tho

- will xiao ever tell you? NOPE!

- VULNERABILITY IS NOT PART OF HIS PERSONALITY

- youre gonna have to confess so he can act all smug and accept your feelings because “you being upset would be annoying”

sure xiao. sure.

ICE ICE BABY! (CHONGYUN)

- hes so fucking cute i cant

- due to his congenital positivity, he really can’t be around you at all

- he gets really hot and blushy whenever you’re around so in order to control himself, he keeps his distance

- though it isnt easy considering the fact that you’re really good friends with xingqiu and xiangling

- the way he realized he had a crush on you was when he was about to lose it due to overheating. you went out of your way to buy him a popsicle and umbrella as fast as possible. from then on, he was WHIPPED!

- xingqiu and xiangling constantly try to get you two together, but it never works seeing how stubborn chongyun is about staying in control of himself.

- so being the little shit that he is, xingqiu put a little hot sauce in one of chongyuns meals

- and yun lost it!

- he ran up to you, threw you over his shoulder, and fucking ran away

- to where? who knows? me. i know.

- he took you to the top of a mountain and sat down, beckoning you to sit next to him

- after running up a whole ass mountain with you on his back, he was drained

- so he rested his head in your lap!

- he was about to fall asleep when he mumbled “y/n, i really like you! thank’s for everything.” and then was out like a light!

- love that boy. i really do

[aphrorite]

-ˏˋ sweetheart diaries ˊˎ- #4 !! 🌷🌸🎀

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ♡༘

⋆ ✧₊ may 24th 2022 ☀️✨🌷 ⊹ɞ

hello diary ! its been sos long sinc ive wrote here :S thahts okay though, life gets busy soemtime and sometime i not able to write becos of it <3 today was great!

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hmmm where should i start disry ?!??! i havent seen u in so long ))): i lay on teddy comfy back as i weite this bc he make a fluffy cute pillow and he is so generous 💕💕💕 i luv teddy .

umm so the last time i weote was on may 14, si mayb i make list of notable thing ! here it is (:

felt sick one day so stay home n then m found out ir was plumbing day

my cat discover new window n he lobved it so much. was up on bhis tupy toe n was enjoyin fresh air .

had olumbing com over n get toilet fized >_>

may 15 made toast n agua for meself on a lil chop boar dn enjy brekafast

may 17 i groute d my mosiac media ezploration . i did an ugly magenta tbh and it iddnt turn out how i intended but then again ir was only media ezploration )): next time i go fir darker grout. here was finished mosiac before grouting

may 17 at work befor my shif i also saw thes realky chte tanks !!! i trie them on but they didnt rlly hav my size n the pink didnt look as nice as i thought it would but the white did n the blue ehhhh ,, here they r ! i also found out my fav coworker too has the same disorder as me and i felt not so alone knowing tht . it made me feel like someone understood my struggle an di am so grateful to have a coworker like her. i am not happy that she suffers with the same issues but i am glad thqt we can both fight our hardships together . <3

may 18 very sad day ): am work very hard on makeup but had not so good time at school dance so was vert sad. m felt very out ofnplace )): but in hindsight, m also call tht one guy n ask if hed like watch stranger things this friday ! so we hav that day for him n i <3

may 19 m thought of very cute leggings, leg warmers n new aesthetic more , so now am want to change my room up and go for my pink idea ! i always felt bad for wanting it to be all pink ebcause it doesnt necessarily align w my feng shui but i wa s like , “ let me stop confinin myself “ , so im plan 2 get cute pink posters (n design them,) more ffske folliage, hanging plants , lace curtains/ transparent , pink rug and wayyy more plushie !!!

may 19 i also went get my mediciatuon refile , they gav me 67 when they meant 74 but utl l b ok cos i up dosage upon next appointmen maot likely ! i also saw pretty lipblam 🥺🥺 may 19 i paint my mosiac frame black !

fri may 20 i wok up too late 2 get ready n missed bus so instead of adking relativ who im not fond of,,, I WALK 3 KM!!!! 3000 m in 40 minute to my school n cross highway ^_^ it acc big feat for me bc ive never cross highway bflre when walking n also NEVER have walk that much in ine moring. i was determine to get to school and i did !! did NOT MISS SCHOOL !!! 😎

fri i also went to awerie n se etheir flare n i tried them on and i relalt like d them !!!! i didnt buy them rhoguh becaus when i tried to it didnt work out bc theyw erent accetin phon paymen t / it didnt work ): so i put on hold.

fri was grwat doe cos i ALSO MADE MY LUNCH !!!! LOOK LOOK LOOK. IS SO PRETTYYYY I SO HAPPY BOUT IT ! i wish i had sandio lucnh box tho so i will get one soon. is was yummy bc usuall i wake up too late to make lunch ): so i had ice tea , 2 pb sandwich, cheeseit, breton veggie cracker, granola and croutons ! yumyum

friday i work bery hard in fitting room to make sure every cloth wa s detail so i proud myself ^-^ i sad tho bc on fri i found out my one friend isnt who she rlly was n she like dark humor for attention which made me feel really invalidated )): so i never hangout w her anymor and gonna distanc

saturdy i did pintwrest, made new board n cleaned up pinterest but still hav to work on it, clean some cameraroll, shop n hav fun ! i thin k i also watch show another close friend n i kinda hav lil crush on him ))): we wathc 5 episode n fall asleep in calls o i b his alarm clock . funny thin is tho before we hungour he called me while i was showering n it was funny cos i was wondering ‘why my music so quiet?’ peek out curtain and see a pleasant surprise ! i told him call me back doe cos ofc i busy cleaning meself !!! hmph , we laughed abt it tho cos😁 i was happy he called me tok bc he was on my mind n i always wish hed call instead of me doing it first . n then later he put me to bed cos i got drowsy cos mediciattioon aargeghh but we spend whole day together <3 n i folded my cloth too! i also look at more room inspo n made list for wht i want to buy !

sunday i did LOADDDDSS of math hoemwork n i so proud myself for it , i finish and got caugh t up! sister b so kind n she help me clean room , so i fibish xleaning and also DID MY LAUBDRRRRYYY I SO PROUD I HAVENT DOBE THT IN FROWVER

monday i fibisb painting , did more pinterest work on spotify n look at shein for little, n during weekend i learned how to weite upside down ! coolio . i slso took walk, wore cute outfit black stocking w plaid skirt black sweater and white collar and did my makeup 😋 i soend time wi my cat too !! i also did sims 4 reblogging on other acc hehe

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n now we in present ! today i wore the same fit i wore the other day bx ir wasntn dirty, woke up in time but had trogbl gettin out of bed bc it was rlly cold. blanket so warm so i lau at floor of staircase burrowed in blanket cos ellie so warm aargrggh then got ready.

i didnt hav kuch in lunch but moma camw in cluctch with making more pasta so i toon tht for work n also had breton cracker n 2 made good granola bar.

i brin canvas n wallet cos today i want handed in. y canvas n buy the flare legging ! school was good n i did really well in math w anawritjng question and understanding material :3 i so happy abt that bc usually i feel like i am strugglin behind , but my misophonia kept kicking in ),:

theguy still havent stopped courhing and the orher person vocal tics (whxih i know they cant help) relaly made me angry . i know not to be angry and i am not acc angry at them rhouvh it is very irritating ): ofc i am bery stonefave so no one can tell i am angry , and plus i dont want to make anyone sad .

art class went bot so well ): ,, i was finishing my sides and the sand when I accidentally tip uellow paint all over my cabvas 😭😭 theguy who sat across fron me was kind and saved my canvas from fultl flipping over , dude had great reflexes but there was a big fat blob of yellow pajt on floor witb some splatters . it got over my canvas so i had scrapped off w cardboard n then scrapped the paint w the cardboard off the ground and back jnto fhe conrainer, and then i use dawn soap, brown paper towel and sponge to scrub dub dub, and then u couldnt even tell it was there . i am proud for cleaning ip it sow ell but i think mybe god was telling me tht i had to do one kr more finishing touches, sooo i went to work w canvas and home w it, and also saw dat my framw wasnt black emigubso i brough it home too to paint it more black.

i bough flare legging tho, got free agua at satrbuck bc i forgo watnottle, had starbuck popcorn (yumyum i luv popcorn !) and it wa great!!! 🍿💛

hehe, i felt so pretty wwaring the legging rht i wore it to work hehe and i got compliment on mt outfit too. i favetime sisrer during lunch too. and guess wha diary? i ddi amzing at work today :33 i also listen to my sleepy agedre playlsit rn while i write this !

i did 3 stock boxes in 30 min!!! thrts 10 mins for wach unpacking, and then i hung then up n tagged them all by myself ^w^ i was so proud tht i got it done (securi tagging in 57 min, total time took for 3 boxes is 1 hr 48)

my ocd was kicking in ahain with the number of aecurity tags i had and it was a little difficult but i trudge through it n tried to not breakdown over it n so i didnt !! i also met new coworker today, her name angelina 😇

i was so happy tht i did it i felt unsfoppable, n i got praises for my pretty painting from wmployees when i walk into shops n also praises from my coworker s n pll were impressed that i did stock so quicj so i very proud ^⏝^ i put clothes out on sales floor too but at end of shift i went back to get my canvas cos i forgo x_x

when home came my ankle pain rlly kcike din bc it was sore during my shift n still hurts as i weite this ))): hopefully i sleep it off n it go away . i didn do much homeworks until 7 ish but i still trusges through my sampling math homework and painted my frame black and fixed my painting yellow mistake n then got ready for bed 💤💤 i beush my cat today too n he got lots fur, i saw him climb up a carpet n it remind me of spiderman !! he gwtting realt confident n it make me happy

i felt little meh abt wanting to self care but i pushed myself to do so ! 😼 so i lotion my sof skin, gargle w mourhwash, brush teef brush hair n then got into bed w comfy comforter ! i also went on walk w sister n went barefoot, got feet dirty but i wash it before bed, n also walk in grass which is theuropedic !

anyway diary, i look at list, go use lou, and shop for a lil befor ebed. love u!! i check in once in a lil bit. baiiii!!!! 👋👋😴

p.s ⭐️🌻 i forog mention, AHHHH kendrick lamar is in town soon !!! when i am not agedre/agere, i would LUV to see his concert n i think i migh b able go so im gonna b stoked for that OMGOMOMG 🌼💛

╭┈─────── urs truly, ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈➤ sweetheart xx

[masterthespianduchovny]

I never wished for Gillian’s relationship to fail, but I was largely indifferent to it and it has nothing to do with Gillovny. Funny enough, I do actively dislike David’s relationship for obvious reasons.

I wasn’t super involved in the tumblr fandom during 2015-2016, but I do remember all of the fuckery that went down with David and gillian. Their behavior was what ignited dormant and new shippers. It added flames for those who never let that flame die.

So, you had all of G and D’s antics and shit, which many were going crazy over. Some notable people as well who have since distanced themselves from that era. Like most people were for this shit because whatever was going on between them was too hard to dismiss as being friendly or professional behavior. Or even harmless flirting.

Now, there are those who always insisted that G and D were acting and putting this show on for the fans. I guess to drive ratings, but this argument has always been nonsensical to me. For starters, people who are interested in Gillovny are going to watch regardless. Almost everyone else don’t give a shit and was going to watch the revival for Mulder and Scully. The things fans went crazy over wasn’t enough to even get anyone interested in the show who wasn’t already interested.

Like, the kimmel interview is mostly only interesting to someone who follows Gillovny or knows of their history. Other people would find their behavior interesting, but would they really make them watch the show??? And it’s barely even a headline.

So, what they were doing back then was enough to get philes excited, but not enough to drive ratings. Which cancels out the idea that they behaved the way they did to garner attention.

But, the naysayers kept insisting that this was all a PR ploy.

After (???) season 10 premiered, Gillian was spotted with Peter I suppose. And she kept being spotted with him. Don’t know the true timeline. But, when this happened, suddenly, these same naysayers were Gorgan. They were all in on Peter and Gillian and throwing shots at Gillovny fans and how we were “played.”

(It must be noted that just because Gillian ended up dating Peter doesn’t mean she didn’t have a thing with David. Lol)

Over time, they were gassing up this relationship and talking about Peter’s greatness and how he and Gillian balanced each other.

For me, my bullshit meter was going on.

Yes, some fans just wanted Gillian to be happy and shit, which I’m all for, but the loud gorgan supporters used this relationship to “get back” at the Gillovny crowd. I honestly don’t know how hostile it became between the two groups, but from what I did see, this support was superficial, which was proven years later.

Because, imo, how can you be for a relationship that just started and you barely know anything about it? How can you know all of this about two people you have no insight on? Gillian keeps her relationships largely private and we know even less about Peter’s relationships (read: marriage), yet there are posts about how these two are a good fit? Lol

What solidified my indifference was Gillian’s behavior. Pre like 2013, Gillian wasn’t really featured in the media all that much because she wasn’t doing any noteworthy projects. Then, she did the fall and was featured more. She was very vocal about being a feminist and shit. “Future is female”, talking about her same sex relationships, didn’t want to be in relationships unless she was in control. Isn’t this the woman who famously ended a relationship by going home and leaving her then boyfriend on the beach to find his way home? Lol.

Gillian’s image was very independent, assertive, I’m the boss, blah blah blah.

Then, she gets with Peter and it’s “he’s responsible for my success.” Peter this, Peter that, blah blah blah blah.

Gillian’s image is now submissive, insecure, handing the reigns over to her man.

That was something that made me look at her differently and not care for her relationship. It felt like whiplash from her previous image.

That image she cultivated with Peter was so contradictory in what she presented herself as while they were together. So, although I still supported her professionally, I just wasn’t here for the relationship.

Ironically enough, Gillian and Peter are the ones who come off as having the PR relationship compared to whatever David and Gillian were doing. Maybe not on the red carpet, but Gillian has (always) been silly and sexual with David. There are x files outtakes that proves this. She jokes/“jokes” with David about wanting to suck his “cock” and David has said shit to her like “did you just cum?” In many of their interviews, Gillian is the the giggly and silly.

Even when Gillian was with Mark and David was still with Tea, that dynamic was there, but a muted. 2015/16 was more pronounced, but it didn’t come out of nowhere. So, the idea that this was PR doesn’t track.

But, Gillian gets with peter and, suddenly, she has a personality change and is singing the praises of her boyfriend who she later works with.

Do I believe this was a PR relationship? Tbh, I don’t give a shit either way. But, PR relationships exist and have always existed in Hollywood. They function many ways: to bring attention to one or both parties, to deflect from (potential) rumors, to build hype for a project, etc.

Peter and Gillian were gassing each other up and shit, selling one another and their relationship. Many famous married couples don’t even talk about their spouses like them (and, yes, I believe these married couples love one another).

The thing about David and Gillian is that, even tho some thought something may have been going on around 2015, some people have always thought they were fucking at one point in time. Others think they just have massive chemistry. But, why would they need to fake a thing between them that they won’t admit to to manufacture interest in the show that people were excited to see come back? It sounds contrived, doesn’t it?

Compare that to: a well loved and acclaimed actress who hasn’t had meaty work in a while getting together with the creator and writer of a show that’s an Emmy darling. They’re always singing each other’s praise, which is noteworthy for a person who doesn’t talk about her relationship much. Who she then later works with on said show.

Which one sounds more like PR?

The actors who’ve had mad chemistry since they’ve auditioned together? Who’s chemistry never wavered even when they couldn’t stand each other and now are in a better place?

Or...

The actress and writer who talk about how wonderful their partner is and that this relationship is so mature, and then later work on his show together before breaking up a month later?

I honestly don’t think it’s absurd to have skepticism towards gorgan. Many of those adamant that gorgan was real and others are delusional are invested in gorgan because their anti Gillovny. And some did truly want to see her happy, but most weren’t invested in that way.

Whether someone thinks gorgan was real or not, I found it embarrassing on Gillian’s part. It’s probably more embarrassing if it was PR and sad if it was real.

And I know ppl will disagree with that because they found the relationship mature and supportive, but again, crediting Peter with the success of her career??? You can’t even argue, “she means now” because Gillian was getting a career resurgence and rave reviews for Stella Gibson and bedelia de murier (???). She had her role in American gods (I know it was one episode).

And in each of these roles, it was “omg! Gillian Anderson!!!”

She was so loved in Hannibal, they fucking expanded her role. And this was all pre Peter (American gods may have had some overlap).

Gillian isnt “struggling” for roles because people don’t want to hire her, she’s “struggling” because she’s trying to find roles that balances being a working actor with being a hands on mom.

And that’s why I was always “meh” about the relationship. I don’t think Peter’s a bad guy and he’s good at his job, but the way Gillian’s persona changed during this relationship was off putting and I didn’t care to get invested in them for that reason. But, as I mentioned on other occasions, the vocal support of the relationship and notable silence when they ended will always be fascinating to me. I honestly believe that gorgan support was fueled by the anti Gillovny crowd and backlash to David’s relationship (its a 🤮 for me too) and behavior towards Gillian regarding the x files’ potential continuance.

[miruko-will-fight-god]

Class 1A x Immortal reader

Warnings: death, Reader death (But revival), talks of pain

Reader info:

Quirk: Complete Restoration (This quirk allows the reader to completely heal from any injury, even allowing them to regrow organs and limbs)

A/N: I swear this isn’t angst, tbh I dont even know what to call this since it isnt fluff, crack, or angst enjoy anyway tho (Also Mineta is replaced with Shinso but that shouldn’t really be a problem lol)

You walked into the room of class 2-A greeted by the faces of your new classmates and Eraser Head, who you had met a few days prior, was lying on the floor wrapped up in his blindingly yellow sleeping bag. You walked through the door, the exhausted teacher sluggishly sitting up. “Alright, introduce yourself quickly, we have things to do afterwards” he grumbles before slouching back down.

 You stepped beside the podium, reciting your rehearsed introduction from memory “Hello, I’m [Y/N] [L/N], I’m a new transfer from [Country]. I look forward to getting to know you all!” You finished, looking over towards Aizawa who was now standing, only half covered in his sleeping bag. “Alright,” he said, “now that that's over with, everyone get suited up and meet me at ground gamma.” 

You followed the rest of the class towards the lockers to change into your costumes Your costume was simple, it consisted of a simple black full bodysuit that had two large pockets running down the outer sides of your legs containing rope for restraining, and some combat boots. Since your quirk didn’t give you any offensive properties, your weapon of choice was a scythe, which was quite noticeable as you paraded out of the locker room with it.

 You, Ahisdo, Shinso and Midoriya were the first ones out of the locker rooms. You stood in awe of the massive industrial training grounds, as Ashido and Midoriya tried to convince you to tell them what your quirk is and Shinso looked like he was planning. As the rest of the class gathered up, you were greeted by your grumpy homeroom teacher and the frail form of all might. When all of you had arrived, All might began to brief you all on the exercise. “Today the battle will be a free for all, The border will be marked by a large red line that will shrink every minute, get pushed out of the border and you’re out, become immobilized, you’re out. Someone will win when they’re the last person standing within the border. We’ll give a 45 second grace period, for you all to get into a position, just make sure that you stay within the border.” He finished explaining. “Does everyone got it?” he asked, eliciting varying ‘yeses’ from you and your classmates. Before the class was told to begin Aizawa added something on. “One more thing, [L/N] and Shinso” your features became riddled with confusion. “As you most likely guessed this test will be an evaluation of you skills. And if I feel like your lacking what it takes to remain in this class, I will expel you.” You jumped at the notion of expelling while Shinso only narrowed his eyes,  you knew that Eraserhead has expelled entire classes of students before, you were no exception to this.

You calmed your nerves just as the pair gave the signal for the grace period to start. All of you ran in, some moving faster than others due to their quirks. An overly loud horn blew throughout the arena just as you reached a safe area near the edge of the border.

‘I guess that was the signal’ you thought, starting to come up with a plan

You knew that you had the benefit of them not knowing your quirk, you were told of them and their quirks and you remember seeing them in the sports festival from last year. So your best bet would be sneak attacks and to knock people out of the border since you only had a limited amount of rope, you figured the stronger and more ballsy of your peers would be near the center, so the majority would be around the outskirts like you.

You were taken out of your thoughts by tape narrowly avoiding your face. You towards your right, to find the person of origin perched on top of a pipe. You readied your weapon in front of you, The memory of the sports festival last year coming back to you. The grip you kept on your weapon tightened as you ran towards Sero, dogging and cutting tape as it was shot as you. Once you were close enough to the pipe you jumped up, hitching your scythe into a vertical pipe adjacent to where you were jumping using the momentum to pull yourself up. As your feet landed on the metal with a soft thud, you pulled your weapon out, grasping it with both hands.

Without hesitation you run towards your current opponent, making your way between the two streams of tape he shot at you. Once he was within range of your weapon, turning the blade around so he was hit with the heel of your scythe. You watched as he fell off of the pole landing on his butt. Before he had a chance to get up or even register the slight pain in his tailbone, the large red line marking the perimeter began to move inward, leaving him outside the line. You slightly felt bad but remembered that there was still a challenge going on. However you knew you were definitely going to be apologizing.

Your next destination was closer to the center of the arena. While it was still fairly early in the game, you had no doubt that quite a few people were out. After a while navigating, only accompanied by the sound of your footsteps and the sound of fights off in the distance. Before you knew it you reached what you assumed was the center. Primarily due to the fact that the area seemed more cleared out compared to other places in the structure. The area seemed almost under ground due to the lack of pipes at the bottom but random pipes acting similar to a roof only letting stray beams of light worming their way to the ground. Within the large cleared out area three people stood the arena. Three who you recognized from their files Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, and Hitoshi Shinso.

You remembered them specifically since one only transferred to the hero course this year, and the other two were fairly powerful. From where you stood you noticed a few other people, their either eyes trained on the scene in front of them waiting for an opportune moment to take one of them out or fighting someone else. The boys were currently engaged in a three-way battle trying their best to keep each other at bay while also trying to keep each other down. 

The boy in the green seemed to have a slight advantage since he seemed more skilled in close ranged hand-to-hand combat than the others. The blonde was stuck primarily on defense and the purple haired boy seemed to have a decent balance between defense and offense. You remembered Aizawa’s words, the threat of expulsion still slightly terrifying you. You took a deep breath and formulated a plan.

 As the battle continued you scaled your way up the pipes avoiding the other spectators. You eventually made you way to the end of a pipe that led directly over the battle- well as direct as you could be considering how much they moved around. You did your best to stay as quiet as possible as your made your way across the pipe until something caught your eye. Quite a bit ahead of you, the pipe got unstable due to it missing quite a few screws. It was unstable enough that probably if you applied enough pressure the pipe would collapse causing a domino effect to the few pipes below it. You knew if you spent anymore time thinking it over you would psych yourself out of it.

 You got a running start and jumped onto the pip fell with it  was everything collapsed. The trio below you saw and each to appropriate actions to save themselves. Bakugou jumping back using the force of explosions to power himself back. Shinso using his capture weapon to move larger pieces of debris out of his way. Deku jumping off of the falling rubble to make sure none of it fell on himself.

That portion of the Arena was covered in a layer of dust causing everyone to cough. As the dust started to settle, letting everyone open their eyes and get fresh breaths of air into their lungs, that's when they noticed it. You were dead…? You laid on top of the rubble, only small pieces laying on top of you. There was quite a noticeable head wound, and a hole in your stomach. Almost like a piece of metal had passed clean through you.

No one dared to move, the sight of a dead body causing some of them gag, trying to keep the bile in their stomachs. No one’s eyes dared to stay fixated on anything your body, like if they looked away you would really be dead. The most stoic of your classmates were unable to keep their unwavering facades together. Everyone's thoughts were interrupted by a sudden yelling from the pile of  wreckage “THAT HURT LIKE A BITCH!” You yelled, sitting up unaware of the state of your classmates. Tears started to flow as some of them finally gained the courage to run up to you bombarding you with questions. 

You chuckled at the familiar questions of “what?” “how?” “weren’t you dead?” Aizawa looked through the screen, a shock that was unknown to his colleague riddled his mind. He knew what your quirk was, but he didn’t know it was to that extent. He had seen healing quirks at work before, but he had never seen someone just come back to life like that. Aizawa ended the training session early giving you his logical ruse spiel while also reprimanding you for being that reckless.

Soon enough lunch rolled around, and you sat with a large group of one 1-A students ending up next to the green haired boy from earlier. As soon as you sat down you were bombarded with questions before you chuckled. “I can’t answer all your questions at once, one at a time please.” Midoriya asked his questions first which were basically all the practical ones. 

“What is your quirk?”

“It’s called complete restoration, I’m just able to heal any injury on myself, including ones that are fatal.”

“So you’re immortal?”

“Pretty Much.” you answered curtly, continuing to stuff your face. 

“Do you feel pain?” a red head asked sheepishly. “Not in the slightest! But I can tell when I get hurt, it’s like some sort of sixth sense. And “dying” is practically just waking up from that weird falling feeling ” You shrugged. “But it makes it really fun to jump off of buildings and stuff!” you finished giggling. Your classmates looked at you with a mix of awe and disbelief, continuing to ask questions throughout the lunch period.

[aro-aizawa]

suprisingly not that many people ship them, but the thing is. the "&" is literally in the top 3 relationships!! i have not been in a fandom where a "&" is one of the most popular rships. (im not exactly.. against them? i prefer brotp in general but there are a lot of uh racist antis against that romantic ship so i like it on principle for the ~spite~)

i think theres a difference between a ship fic and a ..normal fic(?). like. usually in ship fics the plot and the focus would be their interactions/getting together. whereas for regular fics u can kinda balance plot and rship, but the main plot isnt actually getting together. do u kinda get what i mean haha

no no feel free to rant! its kinda funny that they taught u to swear in yr6 but rip for not being able to censor urself. and also. broke up. over facebook??? better or worse than text lmao.

the only rship ive had started off... not great. like it was an online friend from south america, and they asked me out literally the day i rejected my friend. so... i said yes out of guilt for rejecting my friend bc it didnt look like my friend was taking the rejection well ^^; not a wonderful start rip. went well for 6-8 months then we broke up bc the honeymoon period wore off and i havent talked to them since! ✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻 it was fun tho, but it felt honestly just more online friends tbh (....interesting decisions all around yknow? )

it be how it be. i was still id'ing as panromantic ace at the time. but still. im wondering if i could eventually "work" with someone? or is that just. allonormative asgsggshshd

i see enemies to lovers but what i Rlly want is enemies to friends to lovers. the friends is necessary!! at least in a long fic haha. ...and love at first sight sounds really fake to me? it sounds just like a hyperbole tbh. like maybe it was first wow u seem like a great person and then u like, get to know each other and then fall in love, etc etc

(👀 oop i type a lot. Rip)

oh yiiiikes i hate when fandom gets those racist fans. i’m kind of,,, dense?? about that kind of thing (abt a lot of similar things too), so whenever i see it, it’s like. mega bad. but nice! i don’t ever pay attention to what’s the most popular in terms of ao3 because when i get into a fandom i’ll blacklist every thing i’m not comfortable seeing in said fandom and then save that for when i’m gonna check out said fandom. for example [here is my atla filters], [here is my mha filters] and [here is my ml filters]. (i also use an extention called ao3rdr which has a blacklist function and my blacklist is SO LONG. but it’s an essential so that i don’t feel like my brain is going to rot by trying to find good fics.)

ye!!! i always think abt it in terms similar to genres. i hate watching films and regular books because genres are so....stilted? and ridgid in what it involves? so in fandom terms i think there’s two main kind of genre categories that have sub categories. there’s ship fic, then there’s genfic. no clue if these are wide spread terms i’ve just kind of understood it that way lol. but within those two categories, there’s sub genres like canon divergence that focus on said ship but with a focus on the plot as well so there’s two plots going on rather than just the main plot. usually there’s always equals in both sides. i think that’s what you’re thinking of. the difference is how the authors approach their fics, whether they think it’s a ship fic explorating the how do they get together of relationships or if it’s the genfic of exploring the relationship itself.

lmao yeah it was like. the only way we’d communicate in non-irl fashion because we were both like. 12/13 so we’d have like. pay as you go plans for our phones so i at least, hoarded my credit and primarily used alternate communication methods. so idk if this is wide spread but at the time we never got into the habit of communicating via text. it’s why still to this day i never ever contact my irl friends via texts, and always through social media (the only time i ever use facebook nowadays is to message my friends tho i’ve been,,,, rather lax abt that. i need to respond to one of my group chats but i’m,,, procrastinating). and we were both awkward people, so i wasn’t bothered by the online breakup, if he didn’t break up w me that way i’d have guessed we just,,, wouldn’t address the relationship ever again and still technically be together but not at the same time lol

oh man that sounds rough. never had any experiences w online relationships, but i can definitely see where it could feel like an online friendship. because,,, idk maybe it’s just me but there doesn’t??? seem like there’s much?? romantic-esque stuff you can do exclusively online?? it’s why long distance relationships are hard, and they only fit certain couples. and lol i deffo understand that feel of internet friends dropping out of your life suddenly. i still think of nearly all my internet friends fondly...except for the bad ones. yeah some of those ones ten years ago were p bad.

it is!! i think that people always shorten it to just enemies to lovers though because it’s easier to say lol. i’m MUCH more interested in the genfic varient of enemies to found family because it goes from “god i want to kill you so bad” to “god i need to kill for you like rn”. it’s just,,, *chef’s kiss*

(dw i type a LOT too lmaooo and sorry it took so long for me to reply, i didn’t feel like talking to anyone for a few days ahah i just get those kinds of moods sometimes. as evidenced by my also ignoring of my friend group chat of over seven years, that i’ve been meaning to reply to for over 24 hours and i haven’t yet. yay.)

[jawshviewer]

dont reblog pls <3

i just wanted 2 talk abt this because i have so many opinions on this situation, and i am not about to just go off on my main blog or anything like that.

at the point of me writing this, the evidence points towards carson being guilty. the evidence being the screenshots that came out. personally, i dont think carson is attracted to minors, as he was 19 at the time (still technically a teenager) and talking to a 17 year old. to me it just seems like a cringe high school relationship tbh. this is the same age gap as me and my bf (even tho we did not talk sexually at those ages). HOWEVER, it is still WRONG as the victim was still a minor. i have been seeing all over the carson subreddit (before it was closed off) that people are saying he shouldnt be cancelled over a 2 year age gap, but carson was still an adult, he knew the age of the person he was talking to, and even felt that the situation was wrong himself. so even if he isnt attracted to, like literal children, he is still guilty of speaking sexually to a minor and more than likely receiving images from said minor (this part i am not sure abt, from their conversation/the screenshots it sounds like that happened).

and even if you think “its just a 2 year age gap, its not that bad”, people also arent really mentioning the power imbalance there is here. despite this being years ago, carson definitely had more influence and fame than the victim. if the victim was a fan, then that just makes it so much easier for carson to pressure something out of them. im sure you all know the feeling of, like, even your fav content creator liking your tweet. sweet, sweet adrenaline, right? now imagine the content creator is dm’ing you, creating sexual scenarios with you, and now asking you to send photos of yourself. whether the age gap disturbs you or not, carsons influence matters a LOT in this story.

ive also seen people saying they “hope this is another pyro situation”, which is lol. what, you hope that carson was blissfully unaware of the victims age? in the pyro situation, he literally admitted to having sexual roleplays with a minor. it would have to line up so IMPOSSIBLY perfect for pyro to have not known his victims age. i dont understand why people ate up his (pyros, at this point carson has not made a statement) apology video, saying it debunked everything abt that situation. i was a fan of pyros before the allegations broke out, and when they did i didnt desperately cling to everything he said and try to make excuses for what he done, and it will not be the same for carson.

lastly, whether you like it or not.... people in the lunch club knew. this was stated by noah and travis in the keem video (which, sadly, i did watch. i do not like the guy but at the time it was all we had on this situation), that carson had told the ppl in lunch club (and i will assume josh as well, since that is the person i have based this blog upon). all of those people knew about this. since march. and did not say anything for months. i do not want to see people like ted, altrive, or josh come out and denounce carson publicly when they have been playing minecraft with him until just recently. i do realize there is also a power imbalance within these friendships, in which i believe that it seems like carson gave these people their careers, in the sense that carsons followers went and grew their channels too. there is a level of fear to think abt losing your following for coming out against your IMMENSELY popular friend doing something like this, but im being real here- if any of these people had come out about this, who would lose more? i would think carson, as, well, he was in the wrong. they could have also distanced themselves from carson, but instead decided to continue making content with someone they knew had sexual conversations with someone who was underage.

my opinions are subject to change if more info comes out, obviously. but it would have to be pretty damning information like the screenshots being completely faked for me to accept it. as it is now, i believe carson is not attracted to children (and we should not he throwing around the p word for him), but he is in the wrong for using his influence to get sexual conversations from a minor. even if they were just 2 years apart in age, the victim was still a minor and the adult in the situation should know not to engage (same as in the pyro situation). people in the lunch club who decided not to distance themselves and keep working with him are also weird for doing that. my opinions may change as more information comes out, but at the moment, it does not look good for him and this is how i feel about this whole situation.

lastly, it is ok to be upset. you had no way of knowing about this as it was going on. you can be mad and upset for losing a comfort streamer or two. do not let a “funnyman” stand between you and your morals; dont just continue watching him because you find him funny. if you believe that this situation is wrong, then distance yourself, as hard as it may be. you can always reconnect if we get more info about this situation, but as it stands, i cannot continue to support this group of people.

thanx

[you-did-well-moon]

questions tag :))

i was tagged by the lovely @bearboyunho thank uuuu

relationships: I was in one for a maximum of three hours dkejek. Ill explain in the breakup question. This is definitely not a relationship im proud of. It caused me too many problems considering how short it was...

break-ups: I have so many trust issues and insecurities, i think i still have a long way to grow before i can enter a relationship, besides i havent met anyone yet. I didn't lead this person on, i treated him as a friend. And i usually spent more time with him since we were both in track. He caught feelings for me which i honestly knew about but i didnt say anything bc i didnt have feelings for him. One day during lunch with all my friends at the time he asked for a relationship. He later confessed to me he did this on purpose because he knew i would feel bad saying no to him, and that paired with the pressure of my friends, i said yes. He held my hand, and it just didn't feel right. Everything didnt feel right. So three hours later i got him alone and told him i wasnt ready for a relationship but that we could still be friends. He took it relatively well, but he avoided me. His cousin confronted me and told me he cried all weekend, but she said she understood and that she was glad i said no in the end which i was confused about but didnt question just wanting to leave it behind. Then it all started the next year. Out of nowhere he texted me, which was ???? Bc i never gave him my number, but i talked to him believing he was doing this on friendly intentions. lol i was a dumbass. Later my friend revealed to me he had lied to her and said i was paired up with him during a project. I also found out he asked her for pictures of me. His cousin which im friends with also told me she was sure he was not befriending me on good intentions, and that she was creeped out by him. My friends had continuously told me he would speak about me as if we were together to other people, and that he stared at me for weird periods of time. At this point im fucking scared and confront him and say i dont want to be friends with him and that i dont think us talking or being friends is healthy for either one of us. He continued texting me, making me feel bad when i didnt respond asking me if i hated him i had to eventually block him. He gave me a present on both valentines and Christmas which i rejected but he forced me to accept them. After class i always packed up my stuff slowly bc i had a good relationship with my teacher and talked to her. He stood in front of me and just stared at me while i packed. We actually had a kpop club, and one day he showed up. I was part of student council, and at the middle of the year he started attending. He sent me kpop memes to try to get my attention. I felt so unsafe i told my English teacher. Eventually he gave up when i started being firmer in my silence and overall attitude towards him. so yeah.... a relationship that didnt even last a day caused all this. I genuinely wish i had been more careful. The red flags were there from the beginning and i tried ignoring them bc i wanted to be nice. Dont do that, if someone maked you uncomfortable please dont feel bad and cut them off for as long as you need to. Anyways- nExT quEstiOn.

kids: i dont have any but i want twins so badly it's stupid. I honestly dont mind having kids that aren't twins. I just want two tbh. A girl and boy.

brothers and sisters: i have one sister who's five years younger than me. Im very close with my two cousins tho so theyre like sister to me too. They're older than me by more than five years.

pets: i have three dogs. Two shih tzus Otis and Bella, Bella is mother to Otis. He's the only puppy we kept from when Bella had puppies. I have Rocky a very clumsy english bulldog. I also have a beta fish called Suho.

surgeries: Ive had two. One when i was four to get my tonsils removed because i got sick a lot, and last year i got my gallbladder removed because i had gall stones. That one was so painful i couldnt laugh or do anything without everything hurting.

tattoos: None but i would like one. Not big ones, just small meaningful ones.

countries i’ve been to: Mexico....i miss it

been in an airplane: my family is not in the class where we can take an airplane to travel or even travel to other states. Ive only been on it twice for a contest i won.

been in an ambulance: Twice as much as i can remember. Once for my sister who had a really bad seizure when i took her to a doctors appointment and the other when they had to transport me to another hospital when they first found out i had gall stones.

i sing karaoke: no but you can usually find me singing along to a song on the radio or randomly around my house.

ice skating: I would love to try. The closest ive gotten is rollerblading. I can't do any fancy tricks but i can balance, but oh no i havent gone in such a long time. My poor rollerblades are collecting dust in my garage.

been on a cruise: ..... this is a joke right? Let me have enough money to buy groceries first.

driven a motorcycle: ah i would really like a motorcycle, but no never.

ridden a horse: Lolol all the time. When i was young my uncle helped out at some stables that were literally at the end of my street snd and he always took me a long with him. A lot of my family especially in Mexico and in the valley have ranchos which means they have horses and you can usually find me hanging out with the lovely animals.

stayed in a hospital: I once went because my head was killing me and i found out it was migraines. I had gall stones for seven months and stayed in the hospital about two times a month so yeah i was there a lot. And for the surgery of course.

favorite fruit or berry: Watermelon and Guayaba. Also green grapes.

favorite color: peach and aqua.

last text: "ye ok" it was from me to my cousin since i was gonna go to her house but she was with my grandma who tested positive for covid so we both decided it would be safer for me to keep my distance.

coffee or tea: coffee. i need it to survive. As long as it has sugar im ok. But tea is great for when my stomach hurts. I just prefer coffee. I could drink it any hour.

favorite pie: Pecan, especially with ice cream its so good. Key lime isnt bad either.

favorite pizza: i dont really care? I like all of them but when i was little and we'd go to the mall my dad would always get this big pizza that was big enough to have things stuffed inside it and it tasted so good. Its a good memory.

cat or dog: dog but i really want a cat.

favorite time of year: Chritmas and Thanksgiving always. I love it. Especially Christmas when my family gathers together and we play games and everyone brings a traditional Mexican dish. We stay until like 4 am and its always great.

met a star: That one woman who had an affair with george bush. I met her. That doesnt really count. Yeah no one, i met basketball players but i dont remember from which team or who they were. I met ted cruz. Cool story tho my english teacher knew one of shinee's choreographers.

flown a helicopter:..... umm. nO..

been on tv: Nah. Probably in the backround of some news things.

broken my leg: no ive never broken a bone surprisingly.

seen a ghost: i had sleep paralysis it was close enough.

been sick in a taxi: never even been in a taxi. Ive been on a uber tho.

Tags: @doyoungbunnyagenda @butterflybam @brighttragedy @saturnsluna @waterfallsandrosebuds @jooheonyonehunnit @leecherryyong

[fuzzbuns]

Im in a bad mood because american education system is hell so im gonna ramble about stuff no one cares about for that sweet serotonin aka atsutodo* tho really just Mr Atsushi... Sir Joned arbuck-

*?... like i mean its lowkey atsutodo i will not front but realistically speaking im just gonna talk about thier relationship and whether you see it as platonic or not it is up to you but like just know in my minds eye MY GOD these bitches GAY.... good for them tho... good for them

I just legit don’t understand people who either think/ characterize atsushi as someone who is mean or doesn’t like todomatsu. Like the only person who legitimately should ever feel that way is totty but we will get there. like, i get not everyone stans atsushi and has been following him ever since that one tweet after ep 22 where he is shown baking a totty themed meal (srsly look at this. the second i saw this tweet back in like 2016 i was like “oh i love this dude”)

LIKE.... LOOK AT THAT.......

Ok so back to the point : like i get most people do not care to keep up with the guy who had 19 seconds of screen time in ep 22 LIKE I GET THAT but literally the very second you look at his characterization in literally anything it is just so clear that he genuinely likes totty and seeks out his company!

And like i know some people saw how totty reacted to him in the movie and went “uh.” But you guys are literally forgetting that todomatsu is a matsuno.... plus totty literally tried to maul his own siblings? IDK to me it just kinda shows to todomatsu clearly feels close enough to atsushi in order to treat him like his siblings because totty is the kind of person who values what people think of him (including atsushi. In ep 7 season 2 he literally is apologizing to atsushi even when atsushi isnt even there which means he clearly cares about whether he is on good terms with him or not) so like....? If he really didnt like atsushi he just wouldnt hange out with him. He just got pissed off,,,, not very deep. Plus atsushi didnt even react.... which to me is just like.... he is close enough to totty to know he is dramatic and is use to having totty be a drunk menace to society. Also? People think he was being mean with the whole ‘neetville’ thing WHICH LIKE..... WHAT ABOUT IT.... like im not even convinced he meant it like that but even if he did, he is just teasing them....it really not that deep..... it is one negative interaction out of the many postitive ones they have had and its is mostly totty who is making a stink (which is a common theme.... BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN HE HATES ATSUSHI WE WILL GET THERE)

Back to atsushi, i feel like seeing him in highschool made me kinda get his character more (tho its just my interpretation so idk. I literally do not know how they characterize him in tabi or the spin off because i just havent seen translations for that stuff? Tho i know i heard that in one of the tabi events he was in people said he was nice to totty (aka he was a good guy... like we have known this.) but thats like.. it.) We barely see him talk! He is super quiet! Which is... going back to the last part.... kind makes the lines he has make sense? I feel like he isnt really the best at taking the lead in conversations and isnt really even that good of a conversationalist but he knows what people what to hear so he just says that and it usually works out fine? Like he can fake it well, like when i write a paper and think “idk what im talking about” and then i get it back and the prof is like “wow..... this was.... breathtaking...” like thanks my head is empty! idk if that makes sense but he just seems like the kind of person who was forced to get good at conversing when he finished highschool in order to network and shit but like deep down he would rather not. Like he is friendly! He has friends and he likes being with them but i feel like if it was up to him he would be a bit more reserved. And the fact he likes totty kinda speaks to this?

Before we get to that i should probably prove he likes totty but i feel like it is so obvious i shouldnt have to..... he set totty up with the girls in ep 7, he apparently goes to the gym with totty every now and then and like. Looks forward to it. The hesowars sprite where he is waving totty as if totty was some kind of celebrity (in front of the girls who clearly dont want to see him. Like atsushi is so oblivious to the fact the atmosphere is awkward because he is too busy being.... gay??? Sorry homies i decided it is gay.) also the offical art of totty and atsushi on a totally-not-a-date.... even if you take the subjective gay subtext i put on there off its still obvious atsushi and totty hang out and atsushi puts effort in in order to do so. I feel like the fact he is still in touch with totty after highschool speaks to just how much effort atsushi put in to keep him around because lets be 100%. Todomatsu seems like a NIGHTMARE to actually have a stable friendship that lasts more than a year with. This is the guy who literally does not get the concept of friendship... and yet here atsushi is.....very much being his friend

I feel like unless you are someone who is very good at reading inbetween the lines/a good listener, it would be impossible to be todomatsus friend just because of the front he puts up. I honestly think since they are highschool friends, totty doesnt put up as much of a front with atsushi cuz like... he saw totty at his most baby..... like you cant come back from that. But totty puts up fronts even with his own siblings so he definitely still has to put up some kind of front with atsushi. So i think atsushi being this quiet kid in highschool gave him the skills to deal with totty. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS MEAN I PROMISE I LOVE TOTTY IM JUST BEING REALISTIC. when you arent doing the talking and you are just listening and taking in what people are saying you start to pick up on a lot of little things. And because atsushi knows what totty was like in highschool i feel like he genuinely understands todomatsu as a person. Like totty can act self assured and dismissive but we (and atsushi) know that deep down he really craves affection and validation. Which is why atsushi sticks around with him and even goes as far as setting him up on dates. Atsushi is a quiet dork at heart. I will not budge on this.

So like where does the asshole rich man idea of atsushi even come from?? Because atsushi isnt really like that (tho i will admit it is very funny... rich asshole atsushi is very funny i can not lie)? The line about him having a car never came off as snobbish to me tbh it just seems awkward (like you know... a quiet kid who is forced to converse). Remember how i said we would come back to that? We are finally doing it. Todomatsu matsuno has too many insecurities and he projects them on the people around him. Notice how we always see atsushi from todomatsu perspective! Totty see atsushi as the guy who always one ups me and takes girls from me.... the guy who said neetville,,,, the guy who likes to look down on commoners..... but .... totty isnt a reliable narrator. Todomatsu has a hard time seeing other people as being genuine because he himself cant be genuine. So when atsushi hangs around him, he assumes that he must be looking down on him, because why else would someone like atsushi wanna be around someone like totty :( (i suggest “because he is gay” but like-) i think totty genuinely likes atsushi but he is so self sabotaging that he cant accept the idea that anyone who knows who he is could ever want to connect with him so he tries to keep atsushi at a distance and lashes out whenever atsushi unknowingly proves his warped perspection of him (an asshole rich guy) right because the idea of someone using ur misery as entertainment is upsetting to say the least.

Its 2020 and i cant believe i just rambled about atsutodo but i was thinking about atsushi recently plus...... i dont keep up with the oso fandom but i saw shit about people who thought atsutodo was.... bad??? And like I genuinely just cant see how you could get to that conclusion? It doesnt have to be ur thing but to reach and say its somehow “Problematic” ??????? The only messy thing about it is just totty being a matsuno like..... atsushi is genuinely such a chill guy i just... its not clicking for me.

Anyway atsushi is a dork man. Quiet highschool kid rep. Coconut head king. jon arbuckle. And if he wants to hold hands with todomatsu matsuno?? Who am i to stop him.... insert image of fma love is love thumbs up

In fact after all the effort he has put in? He deserves to hold his hand..... AND TOTTYS HAND DESERVES TO BE HELD/??/

Ok i have work to do bye

[honeyfreckled]

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER. 

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love  you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it. 

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

[limenade-archive]

Detaching from every1s lives has never felt so gud !!!

[pigstepmp3-moved]

do you have any soft buddie headcanons??

ok but like. almost Immediately after their first kiss, buck calls maddie while SCREAMING abt it

“MADDIE OH MY GOD GUESS WHAT” “stop yelling. but what?” “EDDIE KISSED ME. HE KISSED ME!!!! AND I KISSED HIM BACK!!!!!” “its about time. is that all?” *buck screaming incoherently in the distance*

they are Big on holding hands tbh. like, they dont do much pda at work, but they are Always holding hands. at any given moment, if they have the chance, theyre holding hands

when theyre Not at work tho, theyre totally cool w doing more pda. not a Whole lot just bc eddies not super comfy w it, but they def kiss a lot more in public than they do at work (tho thats not to say they Dont kiss at work, cause they Do. theyre just very sneaky about it)

before they move in together (bc they Do move in together eventually), after their dates, when buck gets home, he just has the goofiest and dreamiest smile for the rest of the day. maddie finds it incredibly endearing and sweet

bucks always super embarrassed to admit that hes having a mood drop-y, insecure kind of day, but bc eddies so observant and just Knows when hes having those bad days, he jus sorta. wraps buck up into a tight hug and tells him how much he loves him. and if buck ends up crying into his shoulder, then nobody needs to know

bucks heart like EXPLODES in his chest whenever eddie calls him cute pet names. bucks top favs are “honey” and like. All of the ones in spanish. but he loves All of them

and speaking of pet names. buck Usually just calls eddie “babe”, but sometimes he’ll call him “baby”, and it makes eddie melt

the first time buck spend the night at eddies, he talked a Big game to everyone. like, whenever sb asked him about his plans for the evening, he’d say smth like “im gettin dicked! down! tonight!” but really him and eddie just watched shitty made-for-tv movies and cuddled and talked about anything and everything before falling asleep on the couch

someone the next day: so. how was your night last night?buck: GREAT. i totally got FUCKED. thats an ACTUAL thing that happenededdie: youre the worst liar ever

when buck first came out to eddie as trans, he had been very….. nervous. the logical part of his brain Knows that its not gonna change the way eddie sees him and he Knows that eddie isnt gonna think hes like a freak or w/e but…… he cant help but be worried, yknow? but when he finally manages to get the words out, eddie just smiles at him, takes his hands into his own, and tells him “i really appreciate you telling me about this. youre really brave, you know that, right?”

bucks not crying, his eyelashes are just sweating

buck is the GREATEST step dad ok. he thinks christophers the coolest kid in the WORLD and he practically BEGS eddie to let him take chris out so just the two of them can hang out. buck always sends eddie plenty of selfies of him and chris while theyre out and eddie smiles like a total goober when he sees all the pics

sometimes, the three of them will go out together on little family outings and whenever buck hears sb say smth like “aw, look at that kid with his two dads!”, his heart goes doki doki SO hard

i dont have any like bg for this next one but its just a conversation that has ABSOLUTELY happened after buck came out to eddie

“nice gender, did your mom pick it out for you?” “wow. you really uh. you really got me there. i dont know how i’ll go on after being burned this badly”

[chainsawb0y]

hi sorry for not really doing much lately ive been kinda super out of it but when am i not anymore 

more venty stuff under the readmore tldr: shit sucks and im decorating my house and i hate myself the usual affairs if you read it all the way through i commend you for your dedication for wanting to know why im bummed out rn. this is basically like a long rambling thing that i kept adding shit to in random places

tw: dysphoria

i keep thinking about things and just feeling generally kinda bad about lots of shit and like it swings a lot from me feeling like happy and then just being totally fucking miserable at random all the time. i dont know what it is but its annoying the shit out of me. i feel like im ok like 10% of the time and then the other 60% is me feeling like shit and 30% trying to recover from feeling like shit 

ive been decorating my house too and thats been shit tbh my housemate gets stressed out and then takes it out on me but i cant afford to go anywhere else and id rather be dead than live with my mother and i just dont want to live in the city where my dad is

i want to do more stuff creatively this year but every time i pick up the pen i just think of my long term ambitions and realise this website isnt exactly the best for it anymore, but theres nowhere else i feel comfortable posting it anymore. i keep doubting myself and my work and when i draw certain characters i get anxious im going to be accused of ripping other people off. i know it wont happen, but i just have horrible anxiety when it comes to these things. i want to work but i feel like nobody takes me seriously as an artist or a comedian. i know where a lot of my self doubt/anxiety comes from but its just upsetting because i have so much stuff in my head that i cant even bring myself to do because i just dont see the point of it. i know it’ll get no attention at all whatsoever apart from roughly 2 likes, 3 reblogs and then at least 5 self reblogs from me desperately trying to get someone to see something i spent so long on. i dont do art for myself, i do it for other people to see the cool stuff i made up to entertain people and i like to make people happy and i just get upset constantly feeling like nobody is seeing anything because this hellsite is going down the shitter and people are jumping off like old people from a sinking ship. slow and fucking painfully because of the fucking bots everywhere

im like, constantly bitching about gender and sexuality shit but like.......... i always feel like im never gonna have anyone really love me. . like. people like me. people know who i am. nobody knows me. nobody gets me. i know thats bullshit lone wolf talk but like im not even kidding tbh.  im so massively fucking lonely it hurts it just fucking hurts so much i just fucking miss feeling like someone actually cares about me . i feel like i have no friends sometimes. like, i have online friends who i love with all my heart but i just dont feel like i have people in real life i can really talk to about deep personal shit. i dont feel close to people irl anymore and i cant understand why. i feel like this is cause of some bad shit thats happened in the past and its just made my brain turn off the “trust people” switch. my brains gone from “everyone is friend” to “everyone is person and people scare and upset me so i cant engage properly because i dont know what they will do. must keep some kind of distance, put on some kind of persona or something and be nice” i dont know what that persona is but im sure as fuck not able to look into it without being some kind of horrible mess. i dont know if im nice or not. i dont know who the fuck i am and it freaks me out because im sure i have some kind of horrible thing deep inside me that i have to cover up by being overly nice and sweet and an actual doormat .. most of the times the conversations i have with real people always have some kind of sex talk in them at one point and i dont have the heart to tell people it makes me uncomfy. i want to talk to people again and i want to go out more, but i just dont know how to get myself outside with people without feeling massively anxious or just feeling like nobody wants me around. like i feel like nobody ever really thinks about me in the least selfish sense. i know it sounds weird and narcissistic but i never get messages off people. i try to interact with people. i want to be friends with people but i just dont feel like i fit in anywhere and i really wish i did. i wish i felt like i could anyway. every time i go out i just feel like i dont belong anywhere with anyone and i thought i did for a little while but then i just couldn’t afford to go out anymore and it just went away immediately. i dont know why but sometimes i get really overloaded by people really quickly but when im outside i find it really easy. i just wish it was easier to talk to people about things. its like whenever i talk to anyone i immediately worry that im being weird or dumb talking about specific aniamtion things or stuff i can actually contribute to but everyone else is always talking about politics or sex so like.... i cant contribute ever cause most of the time its sex stuff or devolves into sex stuff and i just ?????? cant

also dysphorias back whee i hate having a chest it makes me so mad that i cant wear nice things because im constantly paranoid people will see my chest and assume im a girl. i hate people see my face and assume im a girl. i would rather see myself slowly rot away than take female hormones to solve my hormone issues because i dont want to lose what little i had that makes me look a little bit masculine and i know it sounds fucking idiotic but oh my god im so sick of looking and sounding like a girl!!!!!!!! i hate being called miss !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate that my mother wont even call me ash !!!!!!!!!! 2/3 of my family members refuse to think im not a girl and i want to die bc of it !!!!!!!!!!!

im just fuckin trying to deal with all this stupid fucking shit and i keep getting appointments for help cancelled and pushed back and i need help but i never get it !! : ))) the only help i managed to get just ended up talking about fucking specifically sex shit and it made me so uncomfortable i never went back !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even tho its literally the only place i can go for trans/ace specific help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!