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snek-snacc-ficc · 3 years

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Fare and Unfairness

Summary: As the embodiment of Greed, Janus is no stranger to doing whatever he pleases to satisfy his desires. A craving for delicious food is one such desire with an especially simple remedy, that just so happens to come with the added bonus of visiting Patton.

Pairings: Moceit, implied Intrulogical

Words: 2,010

Janus didn't have a problem taking what he wanted when he wanted it. It was a given being the physical incarnation of Greed. But, sometimes, the sheer effort of having to maneuver his way to his prize was more than he was willing to give. Perhaps it was just another example of his self-serving ways, wanting to hoard everything including his own time. If asked outright he'd jokingly suggest that he suffered the same issue that afflicted Logan, the only one of them who represented two Sins, and that a part of Sloth still remained with him from the time when all seven Sins were the same being. In truth, it simply mattered little to him how he obtained what he desired as long as he obtained it at all. If someone was going to hand him what he wanted on a silver platter he was in no place to complain. Which is why he found himself in the kitchen of Patton's earthly residence when he was hit with a particularly strong craving for lavish wines and rich food, not wanting to bother with wasting hours searching for a human with enough skill to make it for him.

"Hmm," Patton looked thoughtfully at both bottles in his hands. "Would you prefer Bordeaux or Rioja?"

Janus eyed the dishware set hanging atop the wall above the sink with a much too admiring look. "Whatever you think is best, my dear," he said, waving offhandedly. "Is that design made of real gold?"

"What?" Patton asked, glancing up to where Janus's gaze laid. "Oh, yes! More for show than anything, but it sure is pretty."

"Indeed." Janus slowly trailed his eyes away and back to Patton.

Patton didn’t react to his guest looking like he was plotting to rob him blind, much more enthralled with choosing a wine. He observed both bottles for another moment, before shrugging and setting both on the dining table. "Well no harm in splurging a bit, why not both?" he chirped, reaching to the counter for a wine glass for each of them.

Janus chuckled lightly. "Always such a generous host. I'm surprised the Angels haven't made an exception and taken you as one of their own."

Patton huffed, giving the corkscrew a firm twist. "You would think, wouldn't you? Out of all the things in humanity to make a Sin, the Heavens choose a harmless little thing like Gluttony."

"Oh?" Janus quirked an eyebrow. "Is that a hint of bitterness I hear from such a seemingly sweet-heart? Do you think yourself Holier than the rest of us?"

"Of course not!" Patton insisted. "Frankly, I think all of their rules are foolish in some way. But out of all the things to punish, why a little self-indulgence?" He went for the Spanish wine first, pouring a glass for Janus and then one for himself. He took his own seat at the opposite end of the table and gave a snap of his fingers. In an instant the table was filled with trays of food. A beautiful, dripping prime rib sat at the center, surrounded by sides of creamy mashed potatoes and gravy, Yorkshire pudding, garlic-parsnip purée, and an assortment of vegetables prepared in nearly every way imaginable, from roasted to slathered in butter and sauteed with bacon.

Janus nearly moaned at the feast in front of them, the heavenly smells wafting through the air further confirming in his mind Patton's skills to be far more angelic than infernal. He took the time to fold his cloth napkin in his lap, and not hesitating a second longer on filling his plate.

"Continue Dear," he said, spooning out a healthy portion of truffled brussel sprouts. "I don't think I've ever heard anything akin to frustration from you until now and I'm curious to hear more. What brought all this on?"

"It's nothing much, I suppose," Patton said as he began to carve into the meat. "It's just I had a run-in with that Emile a few weeks ago and I swear it sets me off everytime I see them. You know they-"

Janus almost choked, wearing a rare expression of genuine concern he'd never dare let anyone but Patton see. "I wouldn't call an encounter with a Head Angel 'nothing much!' They didn't try anything with you, did they?"

"No, no, nothing happened," Patton said quickly to quench his fears, "I heard their lot has been trying to keep the peace with our bunch. They don't want to cause any other-worldly problems when they can hardly handle this new plague on Earth, or whatever the humans are calling it."

Janus's face melted back into relaxation.

The corners of Patton's mouth twitched upward at the subtle display. Notes of true affection from Janus were few and far between, so much so he doubted anyone but him ever picked up on them, but he cherished those moments where the other let bits of his heart slip through the cracks of his usual facade.

"Anyway," he continued, "They looked like they had an apprentice with them. Remy, I think his name was. I'd never seen him before and mistook him for just another human in the park with his true form covered."

Janus clicked his tongue. "Consciousness Darling, you have to work on it."

“I was getting to that,” Patton said indignantly. “It just so happens I had gotten my hands on a box of these lovely gourmet chocolates I was dying to try and got a little...distracted.”

Janus brought a forkful of mushroom risotto to his lips, barely holding back a smile. “Ah, I see. Completely understandable.”

“And you know what,” Patton said, ignoring the sarcastic quip, “I hadn’t even set out that day to tempt anyone. I thought: Why not leave the humans alone, just this once? They create plenty of Sin on their own, no help from me necessary.” He poured himself another glass of wine, the passion in his voice a testament to how much the alcohol was already starting to affect him. “So when I spot this kid looking around everywhere all disoriented I decided to offer him a chocolate. One, single, completely innocent chocolate, just to perk him up a little cause he looked like he needed it. And right when I go up to him, Emile swoops in from out of nowhere and knocks the box right out of my hands, telling me to stop trying to tempt their pure apprentice like I do the humans.”

Janus gave a sound of acknowledgment. “And how exactly did this specific incident set you off down this ‘Gluttony shouldn’t be sinful’ path?”

“It’s the principle of it Janus! To think that they view such a minor indulgence as a bad thing. And then they hold the humans to the same standard. They have such short, insignificant little lives, and they waste it on concepts like ‘moderation,’ and ‘dieting,’ hoping it’ll be enough to please those stuck-ups. Humans, more than anyone, should be able to soak up every last bit of pleasure from their cuisine while they can. Why, if I were a human, I’d eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it.”

By the time the tirade was over Janus had cleared his plate. He polished off the last bit of his wine and released a satisfied sigh. “You already do that Dear,” he said, taking on a soft, sympathetic tone. “And it’s no use lamenting the sorrows Heaven inflicts on humanity; Just be grateful we can nudge them towards their own pleasure once in a while.”

“I guess so.” Patton sulked while finishing his own meal and snapping the table clean.

“Funny,” Janus teased in an attempt to get Patton’s mind on something else, “I wouldn’t have thought you the type to forget dessert.”

As expected, his energy brightened up at the mention. “You’re right, I never asked you what you wanted. Any preferences?”

Janus thought through various options, drumming his fingers on the table. “I was rather partial to that lava cake we had in France.”

No sooner had the words left his mouth than a dessert plate with the cake appeared in front of him.

“Toppings?” Patton asked, already doctoring up his own cake with whipped cream and berries.

“Just powdered sugar, thank you.”

A silver shaker popped up next to his plate. He took it, sifting only a small sprinkle overtop before cutting into the miniature cake. It was even more moist than he remembered, and the center of molten chocolate oozing out was the perfect viscosity. It only took one bite for him to conclude that even the five-star Parisian restaurant they had visited didn’t hold a candle to the food Patton could create on a whim.

“Have you heard from any of the other’s lately?” He asked, eager to get the ball rolling for a bit of after-dinner gossip (his personal favorite topic of conversation).

Patton shook his head. “I haven’t had the chance to. Aside from you, I’ve only seen Virgil recently, and that was months ago.”

A delighted, devilish smirk blossomed on Janus’s face. “So I take it you haven’t heard about the...hard time Logan has had as of late.”

“No, is he okay?” Patton asked, voice laced with worry, “What happened?”

“He’s just fine,” Janus said, reveling in the anticipation, “Let’s just say that it appears there’s a reason he’s so fond of the color blue.”

He recounted the entire story Roman had told him about Logan’s budding temptation towards Lust, much to Patton’s shock and amusement.

“I never would have expected those two,” Patton said, getting up and waving away their dishes once they were finished, “But I’m happy for them. It sounds like they’re enjoying themselves.”

Janus hummed in agreement, stretching as he too stood up. “The food was wonderful as always Darling, thank you,” he said, leaning over to give Patton a gentle peck on the cheek.

His face, already flushed from the wine, turned a shade darker. “Leaving so soon?”

“You know the drill,” Janus replied, “Temptations to be made, Angels to corrupt, humans to swindle. Perhaps if I’m feeling especially virtuous I’ll borrow you a gift from somewhere in return for the lovely meal.”

Patton, who had been sinking into the other’s touch, suddenly jerked back. “That reminds me,” he said, “Wait just a second.” He snapped once and a gift bag filled with glittery tissue paper materialized in his hand. “Here.”

Confused, Janus peeled away the top layers of the tissue paper, peeking inside. Everything was sealed up tightly in bubble wrap, but through the translucent covering he could make out a familiar design. He looked up above the sink where the gold accented dish set from earlier had hung, the wall now dotted only with semi-visible outlines of where it had once been.

Patton giggled at his surprise. “You aren’t nearly as sly as you think you are,” he said. “And I don’t care whether I eat off of solid diamond or a paper plate as long as the food is good, so they’re really no use to me.” He winked. “Besides, I think I actually quite enjoy feeding your desires.”

There was a beat where Janus simply stared stunned and silent at Patton, who, in turn, looked to him with all the tenderness in the world.

Janus moved with his free hand, rushing forward to cup Patton's face and connecting their lips in a deep kiss.

“Every single being in Heaven is an idiot for not making you one of their own,” Janus whispered when they had just barely parted.

“Maybe not,” Patton said lightly, “Maybe they have incredible foresight. In any existence I would have ended up Falling for you anyway.”

Janus pulled them in for another kiss, pushing his previous priorities to the back of his mind. He was Greed after all, it was only natural for him to go after his desires. And if what he wanted was right in front of him for the taking then he certainly wasn’t going to refuse the offer.

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Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! If you're interested in this AU I do plan on creating a collection of one-shots for it, so be sure to be on the lookout for those.

Here's just a couple quick notes on the writing itself that I thought might be confusing:

-Fare, as written in the title, refers to food.

-The "Sins" in this AU were once combined into a single physical being. However, as humanity grew in size it became increasingly harder for one being to manage the responsibilities for all seven Sins at once. The internal conflict caused a split to occur, with individual vessels being created for each Sin. The only exception is Logan, who represents both Wrath and Envy. The two Sins compliment each other well, so it's easy for them to work in tandem as one. A similar occurrence happened with Pride and Lust (Roman and Remus) at first, but ultimately fell apart later on.

-The color blue, referenced in the short mention of Logan near the end, is often attributed as the color of lust.

#sanders sides #cartoon therapy #moceit #Janus Sanders #patton sanders #intrulogical #Greed!Janus #gluttony!patton

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enderon · 3 years

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I don't know if anyone still cares about the Kid D but I think about them all the time and have been kind of working on their characterizations recently, so have a bunch of random incorrect quotes.

Sweet: I guess I’m just too tough to cry. Sour: Just today, you were crying about snakes. Sweet: They don’t have any arms! Flippy: We need to think. How do we usually get out of these messes? Sour: We don’t. We just make a bigger one that cancels the first one out. Dozer: I thought you were going to give me a book recommendation or something. Coal, laughing: Book recommendation? I can’t read. Flippy: If it’s a fight you want, it’s a fight you’ll get! Nashview: Hahaha, you tiny idiots are no match for our cunning genius. Bubbles: Gross! You’re gonna do what to us?! Dozer: Bubbles, he said “cunning genius”. Bubbles: Oh, still gross. Sweet: No, Wh- Sour: I’LL BREAK YOUR ARM if you say “who’s on first” again! Dafodile: Nice knowing you Flippy but payback’s a bitch, and so am I! Sweet: someBODY ONCE- Sour: *Puts hand over his mouth* No. Sweet: *Points to Bubbles* Bubbles: TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME Happy: What have I always said is the most important thing? Sweet: Breakfast! Happy: No! Family! Sweet: Oh right! I thought you meant of the things you eat. Coal: I wasn’t injured, I was lightly stabbed. Doc: I’m sorry, you were stabbed?! Coal: Lightly stabbed. Dafodile: I guess I just never saw you as much of a fighter. Doc: I admit I fancy myself more of an intellectual, but I can assure you, I’ve had my fair share of tussles. Bubbles: Like the mushroom? Grumpy: Those are truffles. Bubbles: Like the sprout? Sour: Those are brussels. Coal: I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid! Dozer: I’m going to tell myself that I fucking deserve to be happy, which I still don’t believe. Dozer: I do not believe that I deserve to be happy. Dozer: But one day I’m gonna get there. Bubbles: *runs past* Sneezy: Let me see what you have. Bubbles: A knife! Sneezy: NO!!! Sleepy: *From the distance* Oh my god, why does he have a knife? Flippy: I think I died. Coal: I’ve died before, it’s no big deal. Dozer, to Bubbles: Look at that. You’ve helped me find my smile. Flippy: So how’d you convince the whole squad to betray me? What’d you offer them? Dozer: I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes. Bubbles: It’ll cheer Uncle Grumpy up. He’ll be over the moon. He may even lean back in his chair and nod slightly. Sweet: Flippy, Flippy, think about this. Sweet: I'm your hottest friend. Sweet: No, Sour. Sweet: I'm your nicest fr- Sweet: No, Bubbles. Sweet: I'm your friend. Flippy: (¬_¬) Flippy: Dude, that is the dumbest thing you’ve said all day. Dozer: You said the same thing! Flippy: Yeah, but it sounds cool coming out of my mouth. Dafodile: I’m not teaming up with him. Flippy: Me? What’s wrong with me? Dafodile: You’re totally egocentric, you flee at the first sign of trouble, you only look after number one, you’re vain, you’re selfish, you’re narcissistic and you’re self-obsessed. Flippy: You’ve just listed all my best features. Dozer: Come on, Flippy, you gotta sacrifice your life! I’m not asking you to do anything I wouldn’t do! Flippy: You? You’d sacrifice your life for the good of this family? Dozer: No, I’d sacrifice YOUR life for the good of this family. Dozer: I know I’m a real asset. Sour: You’re only off by two letters. Sour: So what are you doing for Valentines Day? Sweet: Oh, the usual. Bubbles and I go to the drugstore and buy up all the Valentine’s Day cards, and then we watch the forgetful husbands panic. Dozer: I'm hungry. Sleepy: Hi Hungry, I'm Dad. Dozer: I wish I was an orphan. Dozer: I’m being serious! Sneezy: Hi ‘being serious’, I'm Dad! Dozer: Don’t talk to me. Dozer: You’re really campaigning for Asshole of the year, aren’t you? Sweet, under a spell: As defending champion, are you nervous? Sweet: Look! Look! I made a marshmallow you, Papa. See? His arms are crossed cause he’s mad at all the other marshmallows for annoying him. Do you like it? Grumpy: [choked up] It’s okay. Malient: Don’t take this the wrong way, but I feel like you’ve become a lot more fun since I’ve known you. Coal: Thanks. And if I may return the compliment, I think you’ve become marginally less

annoying. Happy: Sweet did you cheat in the game? Sweet: I want a trial by combat. Grumpy: This isn’t Game of Thrones. Sweet: Bubbles be my champion. Bubbles: Alright! Flippy: Maybe because you're pretty, you're used to getting away with things. But I want you to know that your actions have an affect on others, and I hate you. And you're a horrible person. And you not understanding that you're a horrible person doesn't make you any less of a horrible person! Dozer: You think I'm pretty? Dafodile: The best revenge, really, is being nice. Coal: ........or murder. Dafodile: Who made you boss of the group? Bubbles: You did. You said Sour should be the boss of the group. Sweet: And then you said 'Let's vote' and it was unanimous. Flippy: And then you made her a little plaque that said 'Boss Of Us' and covered it in sparkles. Bubbles: I have an idea! Sour: A good one? Dozer: Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Flippy: From now on, we start oppressing people who like their hot chocolate with water. If you're lactose intolerant, you can stay, but you're on thin ice. Coal: I eat the powder straight from the pack. Flippy: Hey, do you know how horrible what you just said was? Dozer: Do you wanna go get lunch? Bubbles: Oh, I already ate with Sweet, but what do you want? Dozer: ... Dozer: Loyalty. Dozer: I would die for you. Bubbles: I would die for you too. Dozer, suddenly very emotional: Please don't do that! Dafodile, gesturing to Sour: My friend here is the smart one. Dafodile: I'm just the pretty side kick. Flippy: Everyone synchronize your watches. Bubbles: I don't know how to do that. Sweet: I don't wear a watch. Coal: Time is a construct. Dafodile: It must really suck to be you all the time. Dozer: Well, it hasn't been a picnic, honestly. Bubbles: Am I a hero? I really can't say. Bubbles: .... Bubbles: but yes. :) Sour: What is the best way to a man's heart? Sweet: Between the fourth and fifth rib. That's where I usually go. I'll put a twist at the end if I wanna make sure. Bubbles: You believe me? Sour: Bubbles, you're the last good person on this planet. I'd believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning. Dozer: You read my diary? Coal: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book. Coal: I made tea. Dozer: I don't want tea. Coal: I didn't make you tea, this is my tea. Dozer: Then why did you tell me? Coal: It's a conversation starter, Dozer: It's a horrible conversation starter. Coal: Oh, is it? Well, we're conversing. Checkmate. Bubbles: So, I heard you like bad boys. Sour: Not really? Bubbles: Oh thank floom. Sweet: The lamb here is supposed to be great. Dafodile: I'm vegan. I wish I could tune out that moral voice inside me that says eating animals is murder, but I guess I'm not as strong as you are. Sweet: That's cause you need protein. Sweet: We have fun, don't we? Ihana: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life. Sour: I sort of did something and I need your advice. But I don't want a lot of judgement and criticism. Dozer: And you came to me? Malient: Every talk I have with you people gets more and more absurd! Sweet: You say "you people" like you're not a part of this family. I got some news for you, Buster Brown: you're already on the Christmas card. Bubbles: Flippy, are you sure about this? Flippy: Have I ever let you guys down? Sweet: All the time. Flippy: What?! Coal: You’re very unreliable. Dafodile: It’s one of the hallmarks of your personality. Flippy: Are you not remembering all the times I’ve been awesome?! Sour: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do? Dozer: Have everyone stand. Bubbles: Bring three more chairs. Sweet: The most important ones can sit down. Dafodile: Kill three. Sweet: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth? Dozer: You're a hazard to society. Bubbles: And a coward! Do twenty!! Hildy, watching the news on the crystal ball: Some idiot tried to fight a squid today. Malient, walks in covered in ink: Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

Flippy: Raise your hand if you like me. Dozer: What if we don't like you. Flippy: Then raise your standards. Sweet: How do you want your coffee? Bubbles: As dark and bitter as my soul. Sweet: One cup of milk coming right up. Bubbles: I'll never give up. I have a philosophy that tells me that no matter how bad things get, they will always turn out good in the end. Malient: That's not a philosophy, that's stupidity. Bubbles: I know my brother is very sorry and didn't mean it. Dozer: Very sorry. Bubbles: See? Dozer: But I did mean it. Bubbles: Dozer! Ihana: I guess I like hanging around you guys, don't know why. Flippy: Thank you. Sour: I'm not sure that was a compliment. Bubbles: Operation WAFFLE, which stands for "We're All Friends, Friends Love Each Other" Bubbles: Learned yesterday "Each Other" is TWO words, so "WAFFLE-O" Dozer: Are we friends again? Bubbles: No Bubbles: Dozer: we're brothers. Bubbles: That was terrifying, don't pause like that! Doc: But strength isn't your strength. Adorable cuteness is! Dafodile: Can I use it to control others? Doc: Um... yeah, sure! Just be righteous about it. Wink: You guys are losers. Dozer: Well, then why do you hang out with us? Wink: Because I don't have any friends. Sour: So, how was it? Coal: Do you want me to be nice or honest? Sour: Don't worry about it. You've said enough. Sweet: You're gonna hate yourself if you stay up all night. Dozer: Jokes on you, I'm gonna hate myself anyways. *The kids are playing truth or dare* Coal: Sweet, I dare you- Sour: Sweet isn't allowed to accept dares. Sweet: Apparently I have 'no regard for my personal safety'. Grumpy: Are you saying Bubbles and Sweet are IN trouble or ARE the trouble? Sour: .........kind of both? Dozer: I think you owe me an apology. Dafodile: I'LL APOLOGISE TO YOU IN HELL! Dozer: Dafodile: Actually I don't know what this is about, sorry I took such a hard stance. Bubbles: I just want to do cool secret agent stuff. Bubbles: Like going to parties. Bubbles: And arson. Bubbles: What does 'take out' mean? Sweet: Food. Sour: Date. Dafodile: Murder. Coal: It can mean all three if you're not a coward. Sweet: If you had to bring one person to a deserted island, who would it be? Dozer: Flippy. Flippy: What? Why?! Dozer: Because if I have to suffer then so do you. Dafodile: I know we don't always see eye to eye on things, Sweet: That's cause you're too short. Sweet & Bubbles: *run into the cottage looking worried* Sleepy: What did you do? Sweet: NOBODY DIED! Grumpy: What kind of an answer is that?! Dafodile: I'm sorry to tell you this but you have a heart and the capacity to feel. Coal: You take that back! Dozer: So, what time does the judgmental express arrive? Bubbles: Grandma Sassy gets here at noon. Sneezy: You lied? Bubbles: I may have. Sneezy: You may have or you did? Bubbles: Bubbles, sweating: I may have did. Sweet: We're friends, right? Bubbles: Normally I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is heading somewhere and I'm not sure I like where. Sour: Papa's gonna kill us! Sweet: Nah, he only needs one of us to set the example for the other. Sour: He's going to kill me, right? Happy: Be careful. Sweet: Always am. Happy: Respectfully disagree. Happy: We aren't mad, we're just disappointed. Grumpy: No, we are mad. Happy: Yes, we are. We are livid. But we're going to let this one slide. Sweet: Thank you. Grumpy: No, we are not! Happy: I'm not a mind reader, Grumpy. Sour: I hope Sweet didn't do anything stupid. Dozer: Whatever Sweet is doing right now is probably pretty stupid. Dozer: Where's Bubbles? Dafodile: Don't worry about Bubbles. Dozer: Oh I'm sorry, have you met me? Sweet: That’s a crazy idea. Insane. It doesn’t make sense. Malient: You'll do it? Sweet: Of course. Dafodile: What are you doing? Coal: Offering moral support. Dafodile: You have morals? Coal: No... But I support people who do. Ihana: Are you this rude to all of your friends? Dozer: Yes, don't think you're special. Bubbles: Is anyone else scared? Sweet: Not really. Sweet: I've already lived longer than

I expected. Dozer: I said I'd die for you! Sour: No! You said you'd die with me cause you had nothing better to do! Coal: What are you doing? Sweet: Science Coal: Blowing up random things for fun isn't science. Sweet: If you already knew what I was doing why did you ask? Bubbles: Ihana, listen, life is a journey. Ihana: Uh-huh Bubbles: That's all I got. Bubbles: I don't have advice. Bubbles: I'm 10. Coal: Look, I'm not very good at, actually, I'm terrible at, expressing ... I don't know what you call it ... Bubbles: Feelings? Coal: Yeah, sure, okay; the point is I don't really have good, uh ... Sweet: Social skills? Flippy: Anyone else feel great when your brain releases a bunch of endorphins? Dozer: Can't relate. Sweet: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins? Grumpy: Help me with this crossword puzzle. I need a five letter word for 'dissapointment'. Sour: Sweet. Grumpy: ... Grumpy: it fits. Sweet: I have good news and bad news...which do you wanna hear first? Happy: Happy: Good news? Sweet: It is very unlikely that I will ever, EVER do it again. Dafodile: You should treat spiders how you want to be treated. Dozer: Killed without hesitation. Random fairytale villain, pulls up next to Dozer in a covered wagon: If you care about your friend, you'll get in the wagon. Dozer: Which friend? Villain: Flippy. Dozer: *continues walking* Doc: Okay Bubbles, you're in charge while we're away. Bubbles: Alright, I'm your dwarf. Grumpy: Don't do anything stupid. Bubbles: Okay, I'm kind of your dwarf. Bashful: And keep yourself and the others out of trouble. Bubbles, sweating: ... you need another dwarf. Random fairytale villain: I'm here to kidnap you. Flippy: I'll have to ask my mom first. Random fairytale villain: Wait, that's not how this wor- Flippy: She said no. Sneezy: How's your apology to Flippy coming along? Dozer: I've been working on a letter to give him. Sneezy: Yes, I saw a draft of it on your desk. Dozer: What did you think? Sneezy: It was so horrifying I had to destroy the whole pad. Sour: Feel's like you're being a little harsh. Dozer: Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh. I'll turn it up. Coal: I sent good vibes your way. They're coming. There's nothing you can do to stop them. Bubbles, crying: This is the most threatening way I've ever been cheered up! Grumpy: Dozer, keep an eye on Sweet today. He's gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched. Dozer: Sure, I'd love to see Sweet get punched. Sneezy: Try again. Dozer: I will stop Sweet from getting punched. Sneezy: Correct. Sweet: If you wanna win tonight, you're gonna need to harness your repressed rage. Bubbles: I DON'T HAVE ANY!! Sweet: Spoken like a person with repressed rage. Coal: What kind of tea do you want? Dozer: There's more than one kind of tea?...What do you have? Coal: Let´s see... Blueberry, Raspberry, Ginseng, Sleepytime, Green Tea, Green Tea with Lemon, Green Tea with Lemon and Honey, Liver Disaster, Ginger with Honey, Ginger Without Honey, Vanilla Almond, White Truffle Coconut, Chamomile, Blueberry Chamomile, Decaf Vanilla Walnut, Constant Comment and Earl Grey. Dozer: I.. Uh...What are you having?... Did you make some of those up? Flippy: I have no idea what's about to happen, but it has been a great pleasure to walk beside each and every one of you. Dozer: Screw you, I want my final words with you to be indignant and irritated! Sweet: I'm sorry, who's talking, who is this? Sour: It's the voice of reason from up the mine shaft. Bubbles: I need you to be positive. Dozer: I'm positive this is impossible. Doc: I am at a loss for words. Dafodile, narrating: Yet despite being at a loss for words, Pop proceeded to yell at us for the next ten minutes. Sour: You idiot! Bubbles: I'm sure you're right but why?! Flippy: Careful Dozer or I might start to think you care. Dozer, sarcastically: We wouldn't want that would we? Bubbles: *sneaks into the cottage holding Sleepy's hat* Sleepy: Why'd you take my hat? *Sleepy's hat meows* Bubbles: Drugs. Malient: If you had to separate your dog

from 49 other dogs that were all equally excited to see you, how would you determine which dog was yours? Dafodile: I would take my 50 dogs home and live like a queen. Bubbles: You know, the last time you were dying you were a little bit more worried about the whole thing. Dozer: I was younger then. Carefree. Sweet: It was two days ago. Flippy: Met a dumbass today. Awful. Dozer: You looked in the mirror? Flippy: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and your god may not be so merciful. Bubbles: If I run and leap at Dozer, he'll most certainly catch me. *Runs towards Dozer* Dozer: No! I'm holding coffee! Dozer: *Drops coffee to catch Bubbles*

#the 7d #kid d #coal 7d #sour 7d #sweet 7d #dozer 7d #bubbles 7d #flippy 7d #dafodile 7d #malient 7d #ihana 7d #wink 7d

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