#those nights were incredible

[thataroaceghost]

Junior year of high school I would listen to an Alice in Wonderland inspired playlist and sit on my roof while looking at the stars. I stopped because it got cold and then summer was a bit too busy, there were a couple other factors but the point is I haven't done it since that year and had largely forgotten about it. However, a couple days ago I was listening to the radio while getting coffee and one of the songs in that playlist came on. The song was a cover of Tears for Fears' "Mad World", this cover was by Gary Jules. Since I hadn't listened to this song since using it as an anchor while staring at the stars it has only been attached to one memory or collection of memories.

It would usually be semi cool when I would hop out my window to stargaze on my roof, cool enough that I would always wear pants and a hoodie. The hoodie was partly to hold my phone so I could listen to music but more often than not the warmth provided by it was very much appreciated. My roof is on the mossy side and also has a texture similar to sand paper but the bumps are more spread out and less painful. I remember this because even though it was chilly out I would never wear shoes so that it would be easier to climb on the roof. One part of my roof is slightly higher than the other part, but there was a spot where the two roofs were close enough together that I could lay down on one and rest my feet on the other. It was probably my favorite part of that year. I would sit on that roof until I couldn't feel my feet just staring at the stars and drowning out the world in music about a world that wasn't quite sane.

Part of why the stars were where I would go each night was that I had recently lost a very close friend. We would talk on the phone late at night telling each other our darkest secrets. Until the day we didn’t. Because as all things go people change. She grew up in a way I didn’t. She drowned herself in responsibility and cut off her friends. So I drowned my self in stars and music.

I wouldn't say that I was happy in those memories, but I also don't think I was sad. Maybe sometimes melancholy but I would drown that out in wonder at how deep the sky was. I remember dreaming about drowning in the stars.

When "Mad World" came on the radio I sang along and remembered how I love the stars. The song made me feel as if I was back on that roof looking up at the stars and pretending I was looking down, thinking about how if it wasn't for gravity and the atmosphere I could simply fall off this roof and float away into the stars and meet a cold demise.

[angelmush]

nice things lately (posing the stuffed animals when i make the bed, animal magazines in the mini library down the road, my aunt + uncle’s giant new cat they adopted on accident and are in love with despite their best efforts)

[vargaslovinghours]

It's here! It's the big one-oh! Get ready for the 10th! (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9)

Starting off with some Just Desserts stuff; it's not exactly against the rules to modify Pets with features they wouldn't naturally have - like a cat with wings - but it is side-eyed by other players

He might be projecting just a little bit lol

Obviously he'd support Joel wiping the floor with other Pets in the arena haha

Next one's a continuation, comic-style!

Since they've only got the one pet between them, they have to take turns directing Joel so he doesn't get confused on who to listen to haha, I'm sure it doesn't help that they have similar voices and Scriabin is constantly butting in. I think in this setting Edgar might be able to get away with pushing him around a little more haha ♪ He'll still pay for that later :)

FNF x Vargas! Quick, who wants to collab as I know Nothing about music composition lol - what might their voices/instrumentation sound like! I’ve always been a fan of strings for Edgar, piano for Scriabin personally :)

These were the two poses I had the absolute strongest mental images for, so they get the big pretties! Scriabin having a secondary feature to his Up animation (not just pointing a finger gun but also “shooting” it), only being visible when the note is held ah, I just love the animation in my mind’s eye lol

Two poses inspired by their bouncies! Edgar’s Down and Scriabin’s Right - I didn’t have them onhand for reference, but I’d definitely push them closer to the originals :D

I really like the idea of most of Edgar’s poses being smaller, more closed-in, and Scriabin’s being big and bombastic, but their Lefts are the opposite! Haha ♪

I've seen a good several songs that have a mid-level transformation which I find Very cool :D I suppose these could also be for different stages, but going from a whole Edgar to him missing an eye and actively bleeding and screaming and stumbling around to the music - I just think it's a neat concept lol

Scriabin's transformation would be with his wings of course!

More of the WOY idea! Scriabin's being so nice 😈♥

You know I had to draw Jake in this style, he's too cute not to, I had to! Fun proportions hehe

Two little balls of sunshine <3 This was the one where I really couldn't decide what art style I was most reminded of between Steven Universe and the rest haha

A rubber hose smooch! Cartoony mwah!

Don't be fooled Wander, kisses are temporary, bullying Edgar is forever

The topic drifted at one point to the idea of Scriabin and Edgar being able to turn their brain-sharing on and off which gave me a Two Yeses/One No idea

Started with them on equal footing - both of them can say no to oppose the other, and in order to link back up they have to both agree! And how that might look depending on who initiates hehe <3

I think it'd be good for them to have hard boundaries in place, not able to be coerced into giving up their privacy :)

As well as them being able to just tap in and Know again, Scriabin using it to be lazy and not try to communicate with his mouth haha

But even with those hard stops in place, how would sleep affect things! If he tried, could Scriabin break into Edgar's dreams? Even if he gave permission, would his subconscious allow that? :0 It's interesting!

Quick break for a scribbly concept of how I wanted my first Vargas Drabbles soft cover to look haha - I didn't end up using the red inlay but it's definitely an idea for next time 👀

Back to brain-sharing, but this time featuring a return to body-sharing! :00 I hadn't considered it until Zarla mentioned them physically phasing together and then became Very interested in exploring it, when isn’t Scriabin annoying tho lol. It’s because you love him, Edgar!

Falling back into old habits of emotionally degrading Edgar, but he has the power to kick you out now! Just try your smart mouth on him from out here, where it hurts less!

Get back in on good behaviour, or because he misses him too much ♥ I love his sweet face here I 💕💗💖❤️💞💝

How dare he be so inviting, Scriabin has to deal with a physical heart and you are trying to kill him, cruel mean Edgar (lol)

Inspired by the hug test haha ♪ Hug him!

This was supposed to be a sweet moment :( Scriabin can't help it, being vulnerable is icky haha

But when offered the opportunity, you take what you can get <3 They are so damn cute, gah

Hehe ♪ There needs to be Some level of awkwardness to it, it's still Vargas after all. Would it hurt? No, maybe more like an organ shifting back into its correct position :)

How's he supposed to help it when you make it so easy

They'd have to negotiate safe and opportune times to share minds if it required them to share a body! Scheduling when to be apart would probably be stressful, but so would being together haha

Edgar doesn't want to deal with this until he's more awake, and maybe not at all if he gets jealous hehe

And finally again, we've returned to the Two Yeses/One No idea - who gets to decide who's "No" counts once they're already enmeshed? :) Introducing the Lobster Trap ✨

“slrch” is such a gross sound effect haha

Really struggling with the concept of Scriabin’s autonomy! He quite literally exists outside of you now Edgar, you have to let him grow on his own!

Scriabin probably just wants out to do something Edgar morally objects to, enough to suffer his company while pissed. The idea of Scriabin having his own body and still having to take Edgar over to exert his own personhood again, ugh, it’s so fraught <3

The Lobster Trap has so many potential outcomes, even discounting one side over the other! Obviously I had to make as many as I could come up with lol; starting with Scriabin getting to decide when he hops in, and Edgar getting to decide if he lets him out - two yeses all around to show it As Intended, all going well :)

And here are Edgar's No options: his no overrides letting Scriabin out, but does nothing to deter Scriabin from coming in without his permission. I think this is one of the worst configurations for them haha ♪ It’s so easy for them to be cruel to each other!

Now the other way around! Scriabin has to get Edgar's permission to come in, so here's their Two Yeses :D Obviously he did it to annoy Edgar, he'll never get to read in peace haha. Not that he would even without this hehe

Edgar's No would shut Scriabin out, which I think would be good for them honestly; Edgar gets time to process things on his own without Scriabin manipulating him from the inside, and Scriabin gets to eat humble pie

Two Yeses again, though it was hard to imagine a situation where Scriabin would willingly hop out at Edgar's request - to make fun of him though? Yes ✨

And again, Edgar's No not overriding Scriabin's Yes - I think this would be really good for them! Edgar doesn't get to hold him against his will, and Scriabin doesn't get to burst in without his permission!

But really, it'll always be messy with them <3 Even in the best scenario, if Edgar's Yes overrides Scriabin's No of being forced inside - even if he couldn't hold him there, just the action of making him see from his point of view and all that entails... ♪

Little jailbird, just wants to fly away on clipped wings 💔

Now for something completely different lol. Scriabin wrote a resumé! I’m sure it’s full of accurate information to help him land a proper interview :)

Good, good, dates, prior experience, employers, skills, conquests-

Scriabin insists he's a sexpert but if there's a degree on his wall I haven't seen it

There is such a Massive difference between writing resumés and actually doing the work the resumé is required for, come on. I do love just how miffed Edgar looks tho haha

S: >:3c | E: Yeah alright point taken

Tiny spacefiller - he's so mad! He's gonna tell you all about it!

Oh hey wow Nny's still here, that's neat. Originally there was an Edgar next to him but only the main character turned out cute, rude

Quietly cutting potatoes <3 Domestic

I love Scriabin getting scared inside Edgar but him having to put on an outwardly placid face so he doesn't freak Nny out in turn haha. Nny's love language is knives

But that's where the nutrients are! Speaking of Ghost-

Teaching him how to flay skin, not necessarily strictly on potatoes hehe. I like the idea of Nny kinda spacing out when it comes to his favourite activities - yeah he hates touching people, but that takes a backseat to talking about murder and playing with knives

Obviously Edgar's a bit distracted himself lol. Nny just casually talking about what happens when you separate the flesh from the body and Edgar and Scriabin are over here discussing Just how gay this is haha

I went and reread one of my old drafts of One Way Mirror recently and ahh I’d forgotten how sassy they are with each other lol

I'm still crazy about them <3 They drive me absolutely mad 💕 I think it's funny too, since I started writing OWM while deeply fixated but didn't think much of the Flavour of my writing I didn't expect anything from rereading, but it does taste a bit like mainfic hehe ♪

I love when Scriabin argues how much he wants to "help" Edgar while controlling him up and down, Edgar's not about to take this sitting down if he can help it! Also emasculating insults my beloved ♥

Thinking again about Hunchback; not quite any of the already-established stuff (they're not playing the roles, nor are they separate and seen the movie! What!), about why Scriabin would side-eye Edgar so much during Out There. It's a good song for him :) And I love drawing him like this haha, proud and haughty angle <3

Edgar with slightly less floofy hair and the closed-line nose style from a few years ago lol ♪ I do like bridge/bottom of the nose style I've grown into, but it's still a fun style to return to every once in a while :)

And one last sneaky cheeky kiss for smooch practice before the very end! Just try and stop me! Why did Scriabin turn out so pretty tho ♥

So that's June through September, again-again! Well, almost - turns out I actually made too many sketches for my Blank Slate AU/fic - literally as many as are featured here! - so it needed its own post. So please look forward to that!

[carcarrot]

this time last year i was probably sitting in the kitchen while my dad started making an early dinner of chicken bolognese trying not to get too nervous about the concert i'd be going to in a few hours

[wildflowerteas]

extremely embarrassed I am once again coming to you with 3 asks😔😔😔 elli read chapter 4

OH GOD. here we go. i panicked thinking this was about chapter 5 because of the mid-chapter 4 line but from the skim i just did i think I'm going to have to steel my heart or risk cardiac arrest from your reactions to the smut ( which, by the way, was the first smut I've ever written so please go easyonme ). Chapter 4, however, was incredibly fun to write so I'm excited to read through this. ( Sweet Dreams is playing too--i've had the tsp sskk playlist on loop to get in the mindset for part III )

Yes!!!! the PM is also in the tags! i couldn't make a murder mystery AU set in Los Angeles of all places and not have corporations with dirty hands and deep-pocketed old-money types floating around their establishments. Los Angeles doesn't and didn't have a main crime family with a lot of Aura, so inserting the PM without feeling like I was replacing a very real crime syndicate ( like I would if this was NY or Chicago ) was quite nice.

Yeah . . . TSP Atsushi is a whole different thing, on the surface at least. He's older, more experienced ( Yeah. ), and honestly, has bigger problems to deal with than the budding realization that he might like men so he just waltzes into flirtation with Akutagawa like it's nothing. If I were Ryuu I'd have pushed him down the stairwell by now, but he's too smitten for that.

I need to draw Mori in that shirt ( he did step up, after all. The Tsushimas weren't great, even if Dazai thinks of them with that wistfulness seen in Chapter 2 ).

OMG I CANNOT TELL WHATS BEEN BLACKED OUT IN THESE SCREENSHOTS SO I JUST FREAK OUT WHENEVER THERE'S A MASSIVE SPOILER QUOTE TT_TT. My blood goes cold. Poor Elli I bet there are entire conversations that are just a wall of grey rectangles to them.

I'd LOVE to write a bsd au set in a neo-futuristic AU!!!!!! honestly, that would go crazy, I can imagine it already.

I think Dazai is most attractive when he's shutting the fuck up unfortunately

Oh wow I feel like I'm watching a downward spiral into hornyposting in real-time surely this isn't going to go anywhere.

[dimitrscu]

i love spending hours writing only to read it back the next day, cringe, and then delete the whole thing

[queer-fag]

You’re all so starved over external conflict and decent media that the second something pops up that’s a little fun you’re all losing your mind even if it’s a total let down

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

I think you know whose coming for the fmk alternatives.

Blanche, Dorothy and Rose for 8 & 9 😊

Haha, I was hoping you'd send them!! Let's see...

8. share a car with, share a bank account with, share a cake with

This one had me stumped for a while because of the bank account thing. Blanche is very clearly the richest among the three, but she's also a big and extravagant spender, and I'm not sure a single bank account would be able to support both of us 😂 she also got swindled that one time in S5E22: Cheaters, so... yeah, I'm not putting my money into her hands 😂

My knee-jerk reaction was to share an account with Dorothy, since she's the most level-headed and responsible one of the trio. I mean, she kept her family afloat for decades on very little money, and she handles both her expenses and (most of) Sophia's ones! But then I remembered that she's been shown to take impulsive decisions and go on shopping sprees that she can't afford at times (see eg S3E3 Bringing Up Baby), and she has also dealt with a gambling addiction in the series, so...

All in all, surprisingly enough, I feel like the most reliable one when it comes to money is Rose! iirc, all her financial problems in the show were related to either losing her job or losing Charlie's pension -- so she's not *rich*, but she seems to be responsible with the little finances she has. She's a little too generous with donations (I vaguely remember her gifting money to a fund for needy rich people?), but apart from that, she's fairly sensible when it comes to money! I'd mostly feel safe sharing an account with her. :)

With that out of the way... if that 'sharing a car' is a long-term arrangement, I'm definitely sharing with Dorothy. I'm willing to bet she's great at car upkeep and at keeping track of car-related responsibilities! She'd be the type to fill up the tank once she's done using the car because she doesn't want to leave me with no gas :') and she'd be very respectful of any set turns or arrangements!

That leaves Blanche and sharing a cake -- and I have to say, it sounds like a dream! I can't wait to listen to her sordid tales of young romance while she convinces me to put some ice-cream on that cake (and it would be a cheesecake, obviously!).

9. watch a soap opera with, go to a play with, watch your favourite movie with

This one is much easier, haha! My favourite movie of all time is The Sound Of Music, and I'm sure watching it with Rose would be a fantastic experience. We'd make an evening out of it, complete with a good blanket to snuggle under and chocolates with little marshmallows on top! And we'd sing all the songs, of course -- so it would double as a karaoke night :)

I'm definitely bringing Dorothy to a play. She enjoys theater plays, so she'd have a grand time, and that's already a point in her favour; plus, she's knowledgeable about literature and history, so odds are she'd be able to enrich my experience by telling me interesting stuff about the play itself, the author, and/or the historical context it was written in. It would be so fascinating -- I'd learn so much, and I'd have a wonderful time!

As for the soap opera, Blanche is the perfect choice, no question -- and not just because she's the only one left. She's the queen of drama! And soap operas are the most dramatic shows ever! We'd have a blast just reacting to everything that happens (with a good cocktail glass of lemonade in hand, of course) -- and if I'm lucky, our watch party might even turn into a hell of a gossip session!

[fmk alternatives]

[teamahwol]

“How is it, being gay in utah? Well I hope it’s better tonight” -phoebe

[wraenata]

Good luck with the wedding!! Hopefully it goes smoothly and the rest of the evening treats you kindly!!

Hehe I showed my bestie this during the reception/ dancing and it made her chuckle :3

Thank you Robin! We are finally free! That was a long 14 hour adventure, I'm going to be tired for the next 7 days oof.

Hey, I even danced to ONE song, so that's something!

But honestly, I think I had the most fun on the half hour drive back to besties place. We jammed out in her jeep XD

Tomorrow morning we will do the Asian Food Market and hopefully I can get some lotus root, and then the Farmers Market.

It was a beautiful wedding and I'm glad to have supported the bride but both bestie and I are so glad to be done with this endeavor. My bestie more so she was a little more antsy. If you read what happened at the Bachelorette party you'd know why lol. Guess what maid of honor lost AGAIN while we were getting ready asdfgjknfdr

Anyway thank you so much Robin I really appreciate it! I hope your weekend treats you wonderfully and all sorts of amazing things happen for you!

[cartoonbird]

figure skating's crazy

[wavernot4love]

oh buddy i am currently having a Moment because what do you Mean i see fall out boy again in ten days .... ten days ,,,, we are almost into single digits oh this has crept up on me SO soon

[sassmill]

Tomorrow I’m going to keep organizing our family photos if it kills me and then I honestly think I can never look at them again for my own sanity

[todayisafridaynight]

at this point i just dont know how dreaming works

[solpng]

the wedding was... ok.