#those two are so fucking specialized and yet synergize

[system-of-a-feather]

Sharing these screenshots of a chat in relation to this post cause as much as I hate it, they (XIV and Riku) deserve the credit.

-Chunn

[2021fuckitup]

“ WE GET HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS”

Helpful hints for newborn to old fuckers...

Why A Torch Lighter Is Ideal:-Your product liquifies, then smokes, almost instantly

-It is MUCH easier to control the direction the meth flows, as well as what is receiving heat

-You can get MUCH bigger hits

-You can avoid burning it so much easier than with other flames

-No flickering flame

-Butane refills are cheap as fucking shit (I got a hairspray-sized bottle of Zippo butane for the price of 2 disposable lighters)

-Don’t burn your thumb as much

-Sessions can be initiated and/or finished faster

Downsides-If you don’t pay attention, you can burn the shit out of your product, or yourself. BE CAREFUL, PAY ATTENTION, AND BE PATIENT

-Smoke through your stash quicker

-Possibly worse burns because its hotter than a bic

How to smoke meth with torch lighter for beginners:

1)First ensure that your pipe is clean.

Why?

For the ice to smoke properly. DO NOT load fresh product in a pipe with product that has been smoked, burned, or otherwise heated. If you load fresh on top of a still smokable bowl, the new and old will melt/smoke at different speeds/temperatures (can’t remember which is which right now, but I think old smokes faster), ensuing that it is very difficult to evenly heat the product. Then you get spots where part of the crystalized mass liquifies and will move with the flame, but some of it needs more heat, and for me at least, some always gets burned or darkened, and has a bad taste. If you load fresh product in a pipe with burnt shit in there, IT WILL TASTE LIKE SHIT. It will often also not melt/smoke right, AND your new stuff will taste like burnt stuff, which is THE WORST taste in the world (IM0). (FYI-I’ve heard that blowing cigarette smoke through a oil pipe (like you were going to hit it, but exhaling smoke through it instead) removes the taste. I have tried with pot smoke and it didn’t work, but have read many people say that cigarettes work.

How to Clean the Inside of A Pipe-If it is not clean, a very easy method is to fill a microwavable container (like a coffee mug) with 50% water, 50% bleach, and put the pipe (bowl facing downwards) in the water.

-Put it in the microwave for 4 minutes (yes, seriously that long-I tried after 1, 2, and 3 minutes and it didn’t work. May even take 5.)

-Let cool. Once cooled, remove from mug and drain all water.

-Using Q-tips, insert through carb hole and “mop up” the stuff left in the bowl. This may take several qtips depending on the bowl. If there is still black/brown stuff in the bowl, apply more pressure

(be careful not to break the bowl by pressing the q tip too hard on the sphere, OR accidentally pressing on the side of the carb when trying to reach around inside with q tip.) If there is still stuff in there, I have read that small bits of Magic Eraser stuffed in, and manipulated with a pole (like a q tip) work wonders, but also have not tried.

How to Clean the Outside of a PiPE

-Using a wet rag, or balled-up wet paper towels/toilet paper/napkins/etc, rub the outside of the bowl. This should cause the stuff on the outside to transfer onto the paper.

-If this doesn’t work, steel wool may work.

Handling/Prepping Product

-Dont handle meth by hand. It’s bad for your skin, and little amounts will dissolve. Instead, use:

Ideally: a 7/11 straw (this is a straw whose last inch or so is a scoop, sometimes used for slurpees or w/e those frozen drinks are; these straws I have found to be ideal for handling all sorts of drugs).

Realistically: Normal Straw: Straw been sealed on one end (tape, seal it with flame), and on the other has a 45 degree angle (45 degree is diagonal; if you cut a square in half diagonally, the diagonal line is 45). This allows you to scoop small fragments out of a bag, tin, or other carrying device easily, as the angled mouth scoops up crumbs, especially in corners of bags; while the sealed back prevents any from accidentally spilling.

Size/Shape

-Make sure your product is all of the same consistency. I find it best to use one crystal, preferably large (but not to large). I find the size of a tic tac, or slightly larger, to be ideal. Also, cubic or rectangular is best possible shape IME. I will often break long, skinny crystals because they dont burn as well as more square ones, and broken into small squares, they will smoke more evenly.

-While you can load bigger crystals with smaller bits/shake, I generally find it is best to load similar sized rocks. That is, load all shake, load two or three crystals of equal size, or put one crystal in there (usually a big one).

-If you need to break a crystal into smaller bits to make equal sized crystals (or to make odd shaped crystal more square), place a sanitary, nonabsorbent material on top of/around the crystal (no dollars bills here, printer paper works great.) and either snap it in two, or push against a surface. If pressing, you can use a finger, debit card, whatever, just slowly apply more pressure so you can crush to consistency of your liking. If you crush it all the way, you have shake(aka powder).

Differences Between Methods

Single Crystal (often large): Crystal will slowly lose mass as it melts, evenly becoming a pool (as long as you thoroughly spread it around the bowl).

Multiple Little Ones: If you evenly heat them: Will slowly melt into each other. Will be left with a very spread-out puddle, possibly multiple spread out ones.

If unevenly heated: There will be areas meth of varying thickness, accompanied by uneven melting and probable darkening/burning,.

Shake: Will liquify very quickly; little bits that haven’t yet been heated may go to weird parts of the bowl when you begin twisting, so you end up with tiny blotches and a single large or a few smaller puddles.

Loading Product

-Using straw, scoop your product into the chamber. Keeping upright, grab oil pipe and tilt at an angle so that the carb is pointing sideways, or angled down slightly. This will allow you to insert straw opening into carb before tipping the straw, ensuring you don’t miss the hole and lose any.

-Once inserted, twist pipe (while holding onto straw of course) until carb is once again pointing up. Tap straw to get all the little bits into the pipe (if meth is still sticking, use a scraper of some kind).

-Remove straw, and put pipe on level surface, BETWEEN TWO OBJECTS. THE PIPE WILL ROLL PEOPLE, AND WILL SPILL ALL YOUR GODDAMN PRODUCT AND/OR FALL ON THE FLOOR AND BREAK. UGH!

Now that you have a loaded pipe, ensure that you are ready to begin. Suggestions include

-Water

(lots of it!!) Both meth and smoking dehydrate you, and the more dehydrated you are, the more you will suffer from dental damage and brain damage (neurotoxicity). A large amount of methamphetamine neurotoxicity (and most dopamine toxicity) is temperature-dependent, as it often induces hyperthermia (This is similar to MDMA, aka XTC, Molly, rolls, etc). Water cools your body.

You should be urinating with irritating frequency, and should be voiding clear urine, otherwise you are already dehydrated (unless taking assloads of vitamins or something).

-Music

I can’t even describe how much music enhances the experience of smoking meth. It synergizes well-the meth makes the music sound insane, and in turn the music intensifies the high, making me feel even more intelligent/strong/attractive/cool/special. This is the part of the high I crave, and it rarely occurs (at least with the intensity I like) without music.

-Spare lighter/butane refill

When smoking meth, you are always running out of fuel. The spare lighter is also useful because lighters get really hot when ignited for long periods of time (like when smoking meth) and you can swap them out.

-Wet (but not sopping) rag or bundled tissues/paper towels/toilet paper/etc

This is to set the pipe on when not using it (a hot pipe will burn fabrics, fucking up whatever its on as well as the pipe), and to cool down the pipe after a hit. The pipe stays hot for a while, and if you don’t hit it, drugs are being lost/wasted. If you cool the pipe, it will stop heating the drugs faster (duh). Do not do this immediately after getting the pipe really hot-heat and cold on glass can break it. Wait for it to cool slightly, then use it.

When you use the rag to cool underneath liquified dope, it will emit a lot of smoke while crystalizing I read somewhere that the meth actually vaporizes/produces smoke when it hits cooler surface, but I don’t know the validity of that. I do know that cold makes it smoke more though.

-Salt Water

Swishing and gargling salt water while smoking meth (ie after a hit, and definitely after a session) will help prevent canker sores, help kill bacteria (which will inhibit meth mouth) clear mucus in back of throat (which will build up from smoking ice, and may possibly absorb some of it), and prevent sore throat. Its really easy-just add table salt to water (not too much). Some people say to use hot water, but there is more bacteria in hot water pipes, so I use cold.

-Biotene Products

These are oral healthcare products designed to combat dry mouth. There is an oral gel that you kind of spread in your mouth and coats it to act like a artificial saliva. It tastes kinda bad (not awful) and feels weird, but it beats dry/cracking skin, and is good for oral health. They also make alcohol-free (alcohol makes dry mouth worse) mouthwash that I find makes me produce a bnch of saliva for like 10-30 minutes, which can be helpful. They have toothpaste, but that is only to not irritate dry mouth. Finally, they have oral mouthspray, which is apparently the best, but I have not tried yet.

-Weed

Weed makes meth smoking more fun I find. Its hard to describe. Go slow as you may have negative anxiety reaction

Positioning:

The pipe will need to be twisted back and forth, so for me, I hold it in the middle of the stem between my middle finger and thumb. This allows me to easily roll the pipe back and forth. The carb is facing the sky/ceiling, and I have the pipe slanted, so the bowl is slightly closer to the floor than the mouthpiece. This allows me to put my index finger over the mouthpiece. so that when I first heat up the bowl all the initial smoke (that you will not yet inhale because it is not super thick and you want to build up a good hit) goes up the stem and is trapped by my finger rather than out through the little carb hole (which it will do when the stem is filled with smoke). Finally, it also allows me to use my pinky to cover the carb (I rarely do this because often the carb is hot).

Lighter

[Torch] Lighter is held in the other hand, underneath the dope in the bowl. Adjust your flame to lowest setting (if you can). While initially hitting the bowl, since your mouth is not on the mouthpiece, you can hold the pipe in front of you while you heat to gaug distance between flame and bowl, and make sure the flame is under the drugs. However, once you begin inhaling, you have a much worse view (through the bowl), and it is easy to hold the lighter too close (or far, but usually close), or to have it not even under the bowl. Due to poor depth perception (which I assume is from the drugs), or some visual warping from the curvature of the glass, its really easy to do this, and happens a lot. A mirror is helpful so you can see yourself. Another option is attaching flexible tubing (like aquarium tubing) to the mouthpiece so you can inhale through that while holding the pipe in front of you. This will also enable you to make meth bongs (search it).

Philosophy of Smoking Meth

Meth becomes a clear liquid when heated, then vaporizes into a white smoke. The idea is to heat whatever you placei n the pipe evenly so that it all melts down to liquid, then, by twisting the pipe, spread the liquid all around the bowl, so that it doesn’t stay in a hot place for too long and burn. Once liquified, the pipe can be twisted. This allows you to put your flame ahead of the liquid (think of the liquid chasing the flame), so that once the glass is heated, it will fall/roll down the curve towards your lighter and smoke. As you get close carb, you begin to twist the other way, keeping the liquid following your flame. However, with a torch lighter, you can soon twist the pipe without the flame and the liquid will still run for a while, and when it doesn’t is when you reapply the flame.

Quick Info On Torch Lighters

Torch lighters are very hot, much hotter than bics. Their flame is much more intense, and the heat above is much hotter than a bic. Therefore, you must keep much more distance between your lighter and pipe than with a bic. It will vary according to lighter type, pipe thickness, and especially flame size; but my flame is maybe between 1/3 and ½ of an inch, and my lighter stays 1-3 inches away from the pipe; with me increasing distance the longer its lit.

-Also, you do not heat the bowl with a torch lighter for long periods of time like you do a bic. Once it begins to smoke, quit using the lighter, and only reapply once the liquid quits moving when you twist the pipe. Also, be sure to twist pipe while lighting the whole time with a torch lighter, even if it is slowly. You cannot really get away with heating in one spot for a short period of time like you can with a bic.

Smoking

Premelt:

-Keeping your flame 1-2 inches below the bowl, roll flame in a circle around the perimeter of your product, so the outermost portion begins to liquify. Remember to continue moving the flame.

-As it begins to liquify, begin twisting the pipe back and forth. You want to heat the edges of the product and then the glass adjacent to the edges to make it flow there. However, when reversing the direction of the twist, make sure to heat the inside/middle for a moment as well so that it will melt once the dope bordering it has melted.

-Eventually you will have a puddle of liquid that is mobile-stop heating! COntinue to twist the pipe to spread the stuff around and wait for it to recrystalize (turn back into a liquid). You can speed this up by touching pipe with damp rag/paper towels/etc, but I like to let it cool by itself the first time. Wait for the pipe to cool down-its worth it.

Smoking

(this is assuming you are covering the mouthpiece and have the pipe angled like I mentioned in positioning)

-Now you should have a thin puddle of clear crystals stuff. Once again, heat with flame around the perimeter (much bigger this time, but it will also melt faster now because its thinner). Once melted, it should soon begin to smoke. Cease lighting once it begins smoking a fair bit and continue to twist.

-Because you have your finger over the mouthpiece and the pipe angled, the hot vapor will travel up the stem, and be trapped. Once vapor begins to emerge out of the carb hole, quickly take your finger off the stem and begin inhaling (do this quick because the stem is filled with vapor).

To Inhale:

You do not need to actually suck most of the time. With the pipe angled, simply forming a seal on the mouthpiece is usually enough, and if you have to inhale, do not suck like smoking. Instead, inhale like you are breathing but VERY slowly/softly. It takes very little pressure and the bigger hit you get, the better IMO.

Reheating

Use the torch for very brief periods of time. Once the liquid is moving and smoking agian, stop. You can also use more, but never use less once its burned.

Finishing your hit:

If your lungs are full and it is still smoking, cover the carb and mouthpiece and continue twisting. I like to hold my hits for 4-8 seconds, some say blow out right away, but I dont like that. You can also use a damp rag or damp paper towels/toilet paper/napkins/etc and wipe the bowl, to cool it down and make the liquid recrystalize faster (dont do this when the bowl is still super hot because it can break it). This will make it smoke a lot for a second so I like to do it while inhaling.

For Experienced Users:I have found the torch lighter to be far superior to the bic. With the bic, I would experience uneven and slow heating/melting. Now, I have almost instantaneous liquification, followed by thick smoke, and as long as I use the torch sparingly, no darkening of product. The trick is to be patient and methodical:

-Use the torch 1-3 inches away from the bowl

-Move it quickly

-“Encourage” the liquid to trael all over the bowl by leading it with the flame

-Use inward swirling movements, especially during the melting phase

-I recommend using single, squareish crystals for this.

[300iqprower]

Just for posterity’s sake:

If you ever feel like these Hypothetical Rank Ups have gotten way more powerful as time goes on, that’s because I wasn’t always taking into account Lostbelt 6 onwards powercreep at the start, and because as i’ve done these i’ve gotten way better understanding of just how fcked the balance of FGO is, gacha or otherwise, as i’ve learned more and more from systematically comparing stat and scaling values.

Side note: Things I generally try to avoid giving characters are invincibility, pure NP battery, DOTs, Sure Hit, and Heal Amount Up. This is because the former 2 are all purpose solutions that are often a lazy way out; they’re useful on literally anyone rather than a matter of dynamic/reactuon synergy or a fix to a specific issue. This is also why I usually use charges when handing out invincibility since raw invincibility is a more limiting yet a more powerful tool, especially when on demand support COUGH Merlin COUGH. This is why an overall bad servant like Danzo (believe me she’ll have her day) could have incredible potential in certain situations and the failings her kit are pure failings of the game’s inherent design. NP battery meanwhile is self explanatory…and i admit is also ironic when the first HRU was me giving one to my favorite servant but I explain in that why it’s specifically the exact thing needed and synergizes with his pre-existing kit (although looking back on it, it probably would be better off on his first skill…I’m probably gonna end up revising an HRU or two down the road-)

The other 3 are cause…they suck. And are basically unsalvageable. DOTs need a complete overhaul into being percentage based rather than flat damage amounts and are fubar the same reason Noble Phabtasm Damage down is ALMOST as pointless as the other three, which is the sheer scaling of hp where enemies have thousands of times as much hp as your servants yet enemy servants have their damage scale the exact same way. It’s why without hard survival or a dedicated wall strategy, an aoe boss np is near guaranteed frontline wipe. In fact enemy NP damage down is probably about as useless as Sure Hit, which isn’t as bad as the other two but is still terrible because ignore invincibility isnt rare enough to justify the idea if invincibility being Evade but even more safe. This is exactly why Castoria has true invulnerability, because they fucked up the idea that ignore invincibility is supposed to be super rare super special. The end result is that I.I. isnt Sure Hit but better, it’s the new default while Sure Hit is just a worse/incomplete version of the same effect.

HP Recovery is is its own entire bag of worms. A large part of it is definitely the aforementioned lack of separate scaling fir enemy damage but a large part of it is the skills cooldown and how high they are. The ONLY servants who can reliably make use of HP recovery up are dedicated healers in a game that us hardwired to be anti-healing meta beca of sheer damage output that means without a full set of healing skills you cant heal often enough to get better use out of Recovery Up than if you just put a flat amount of recovery per turn. Your options are hard survival or a combination of defense increases AND ho recovery and at that point team compositions benefit far more from stacking those things than giving up a CE/unit/skill slot in favor of HP recovery up. This is all not unrelated to us only having ONE servant with HP Recovery support to date, and that’s Medea Lily. No Santa Jalter doesn’t count it’s there for pure flavor and cant even affect active skills. Oh and btw this is all why Asclepius, YA KNOW, ASCLEPIUS, does not have heal up and in fact his np has NO heal and instead provides Guts, a form if hard survival.

This is a game where the meta is so fucked that the God of Medicine has no heal on his ult, and TWO SEPARATE Goddesses of Love has no charm in their entire kit. Gods help me.

…Nothing really brought all that on like i said this is all for posterity’s sake. But yeah that oughta give a good chunk of insight on how this process goes.

[solsticesungod]

My first look at 6 packs of Amonkhet

Amonkhet WIP

Vizier of the Menagerie: Nagas on the plane. Doesn’t give away any new mechanics. Interesting that it is look at and not reveal.

Fan Bearer: No class on this Zombie, which art wise is a mummy. Your basic white tapper, nothing too special.

PACK 1

Tah-Crop Skirmisher: Seems like a regular 2 drop but introduces me to the Embalm mechanic. Which is interesting that it makes it white. I guess white is the reanimation zombie color because of this and Fan bearer. Embalm seems really strong in limited with like fliers or on anything with an ETB.

Minotaur Sureshot:  Goatlike minotaur, similar to Zedruu?? A red archer with firebreathing  seems pretty decent.

Blighted Bat:  Black tertiary haste. Decent limited flier. Amonkhet has 2 suns and doesn’t have nighttime?? Seems really cool.

Haze of Pollen:  Shows that Cycling makes a return and is variable costed like last time. Fog effect for 2 so its okay, cycling is an upside.

Cradle of the Accursed: DESERT LAND TYPE HYPE. Taps for C and makes a 2/2 if you need it, seems really good.

Floodwaters:  6 mana sorcery speed bounce spell, but it hits two things. Is just okay and could be good in limited, has cycling which vastly improves the card. Viziers are important.

Stinging Shot: Upgrade to leaf arrow. Cycling is really good. Also -1/-1 counters are a thing in this set. Second time initiates have been mentioned, what are they initiates for?

Wasteland Scorpion:  3 cmc 2/2 with deathtouch is good for limited, and it cycles. Gods are mentioned? Are important names like Kefnet gods?

Electrify:  Surprised this name hadn’t been used yet. Limited removal spell.

Zenith Seeker:  Bird wizards are fun. Cycling and discard matters so maybe that is a sub theme this set? Makes dudes fly so it seems pretty good.

Sixth Sense:  Green Curiosity, but grants it and fixes the text so no infinite with Niv-Mizzet.

Baleful Ammit: Crocodile Demon is a badass creature type. 3cmc 4/3 lifelink with downside, but could it be upside in some cases with other cards this set?  Mentions initiates again, gives this one a location they are from, and mentions another name, Samut.

Throne of the God-Pharaoh:  WOW WHO IS IT? IS IT BOLAS? IDK I HAVENT SEEN ANY OF HIS HORNS THIS SET. Legendary artifact that seems like a really strong clock for agro decks. Gives a lot of lore in the flavor text.  

Tah-Crop Skirmisher TOKEN: It’s the embalm dude from earlier but it’s a token and has mummified art. NEAT.

 PACK 2

Naga Oracle:  Lore flavor text. Scry 3 but dump in your grave instead of bottom of library, seems good with stuff like embalm.

Tormenting Voice: Reprint, lets you dump to grave. More God-Pharaoh stuff.

Supply Caravan: Return of camels. Makes a token if you have a tapped creature, is that a theme? But the 1/1 it makes has vigilance so it can’t enable other stuff, but makes sense flavorfully. Oketra is one of the gods.

Illusory Wrappings: Really strong “removal” card. Kefnet is god of Knowledge, the gods have trials, so maybe that’s what the initiates are doing?

Wander in Death: Great name. Great Flavor Text. Raise Dead effect that hits two and can cycle, seems pretty good.

Greater Sandwurm: SANDWORM HYPE. Big dude that you can’t chump, and it cycles, amazing common.

Unburden:  Reprint but it seems strong. Bontu is another god.

Pouncing Cheetah: Ambush Kitty. Flavor text tells some lore.

Hooded Brawler:  This is the creatures tapped sub theme. Introduces Exert mechanic. It grows into a 5/4 but doesn’t untap. It seems like a very strong mechanic in some ways.

River Serpent:  Cheap cycler but is a creature with a downside that seems big but with stuff like cycling you should be able to have 5 in grave by turn 6.

Vizier of Remedies: Nerfs -1/-1 Counters and you could combine this with Baleful Ammit to just have a big dude with pure value and no downside. Seems really strong.

Watchful Naga: Exerter that draws a card, 2/2 body. Seems good in limited.

Seraph of the Suns: lel flavor text.  7 cmc flying indestructible 4/4. Doesn’t seem as good with stuff like Stinging Shot but still seems like a tough card to get through in limited.

Pyramid of the Pantheon:  Uses brick counters to build the pyramid and filter mana which then turns into a Gilded Lotus. Flavor Text is very ominous.

Punchout Token with mechanics and bricks:  One of the coolest tokens ever. Very very good idea to whoever thought of it.

PACK 3

Fan Bearer:  Tap Target creature could be a downside now that I see it again.

Tah-Crop Skirmisher

Scarab Feast:  Can eat cards before embalming or turn off other cards, and it cycles for the same cost as casting so you can exile 3 or draw a card.

Pouncing Cheetah

Blazing Volley:  hits all opponents’ dudes but doesn’t seem like much, could deal with Tah-Crop skirmisher and other stuff that seems annoying.

Painful Lesson:  Good Flavor text. Worse Sign in Blood/Night’s Whisper

Emberhorn Minotaur: Really strong exert card. Hits for 5 or probably takes 2 dudes with it.

Cradle of the Accursed

Floodwaters

Stinging Shot: Really strong.

Ruthless Sniper: Cycle or Discard seems to be a cycle? This has you pay 1 to drop a  -1/-1 counter on a creature. For 1 cmc this seems real good.

Bontu’s Monument: Wow. Gods get monuments, and this one makes you drop creatures earlier and drains when you cast them. Really cool.

Weaver of Currents: 3 cmc mana dork that taps for CC. Seems good. Cool art and flavor.

Glory-Bound Initiate:  Exert turns it into a 4/4 lifelink. Seems real good when that swings on turn 2. This is one of the previously mentioned initiates and I was right in that they go through the trials.

 PACK 4

Manticore of the Gauntlet: Manticore type return.  -1/-1 as an upside? Bolts if you make your dude weaker. Seems like a strong card.

Singed Shepherd: Weird looking angel, has Avacyn the Purifier’s wings. Flying Vigilance 3/3 seems good and it cycles if you can’t play it early. Good card. FT talks about Accounting of Hours more and some other lore.

Essence Scatter: Reprint. Talks about Kefnet

Desert Cerodon: Cerodons like from Alara? Big dude that Cycles for 1. Not much to say.

Miasmic Mummy:  Works with the Cycle/Discard guys. Jackal type comes back.  Bear with slight upside ?

Colossapede:  Badass name. Badass Flavor Text. 5 cmc 5/5 Dece.

Hooded Brawler

Luxa River Shrine: OH. You build things with bricks and when they have 3 bricks they get better. Seems pretty fun.

Compulsory Rest: Pacifism that taxes with an upside to opponent to remove it. Very interesting design.

River Serpent

Trial of Ambition:  One of those trials I’ve been hearing about. Good ETB effect and what the fuck is a Cartouche, but its repeatable with whatever that is.

Trial of Zeal:  “And another one”.  Bolts on ETB and Cartouche makes it repeatable. Really cool design, I guess you can undergo the trial repeatedly.

Decimator Beetle: Good body that turns -1/-1 counters into upside for you.  I would not want to run into this bug. Seems REALLY strong.

Harsh Mentor:  Damn this is a strong card. Really hurts all kind of decks. Legacy/Modern playable??

Full Art Land !

Hippo token: WHAT MAKES THESE

 Pack 5

Rhet-Crop Spearmaster: Swings as a 4/1 First Strike if you need. 3cmc for a 3/1 is weaker but seems strong.

Hieroglyphic Illumination: A draw spell that’s also a draw spell. Cool design and can be what you need at times. Really pretty art.

Fling:  Reprint. Seems really good with some of the big creatures rolling around this set. Standard will use it with RG energy. Cool flavor text.

Mighty Leap: Reprint. Evasion spell and pump. That second sun thing is ominous.

Dune Beetle:  2cmc 1/4  good blocker I guess. That’s a damn big bug though.

Ornery Kudu:  Hard to pronounce antelope. Good body for the cost and drops a -1/-1 counter on a dude to mess around with.

River Serpent

Unwavering Initiate:  Really strong embalm for limited. 3/2 vigilance is nothing to mess with especially when it comes back.

Sunscorched Desert: Desert that ETB pings your opponent and doesn’t enter tapped. Very playable.

Wayward Servant: Zombie tribal drain card. In WB which is zombie colors this set. Is a bear so that seems like a really strong card.

Consuming Fervor: Colorshifted Unstable Mutation. Seems really strong as it’s a semi-permanent but diminishing Giant Growth that eventually kills the creature; BUT you could stop it with stuff like that one beetle or the Vizier.

Galestrike: Conditional Unsummon that draws a card.  Cool name and flavor.

Champion of Rhonas: UHHHHHHH. This card is insanely good. Drops a free creature turn 4/5 at the cost of not untapping your 3/3. AND if it lives you get to do it again and again every other turn, if you don’t have untap shenanigans.

Glyph Keeper:  FOIL Kira ability and it comes back?! This card has insane value and will probably be a control finisher.

Wurm Token

 PACK 6

Brute Strength: Reprint.  Seems like a good combat trick. Fun flavor.

Sacred Cat:  1/1 lifelinkitty with flashback. Seems fun.

Cancel: Reprint. LOL flavor text.

Bloodlust Inciter: Haste on a stick. Seems like a good aggro card. Cool flavor.

Quarry Hauler:  Camel. Proliferate or De-Proliferate on one target card? Seems pretty good with that body.

Winds of Rebuke: Bounce a card and everyone mills 2 for 2cmc. That seems really good especially in a graveyard matters set.

Final Reward:  Black instant exile with no drawback! That’s sorta weird but I guess its in their color pie. Good limited card as it stops embalm. Just misses constructed playable IMO.

Dissenter’s Deliverance: Destroys buildings and such and cycles. Seems like a good shatter type card. More ominous hours in the flavor text.

Cartouche of Strength: Cartouche for the Trials has finally showed up and it comes with its own type. Its an aura that has an ETB and pumps your dude. Removal and can synergize with your trials. Seems like a really good deal especially at its cost.

Labyrinth Guardian: Illusion drawback on a good body and it comes back. Seems like a pretty sweet card in any deck.

Protection of the Hekma: Urzas armor makes a comeback in the form of this enchantment. I am not too sure what the Hekma is except it’s a barrier of some sort but this card seems pretty  cool and flavorful. I am a fan of urzas armor so I’ll try this out sometime.

Crocodile of the Crossing: Really efficient creature even if it has to hit itself with its -1/-1 counter. I’m always a fan of Crocodiles. I like the snarky flavor text from mr Rhonas.

Cruel Reality: Story Spotlight.  Really hard taxing on a player with the return of the Curse type. Strong but high cost. I assume from the Gideon and crop-mate part that the Gatewatch are running the trials on Amonkhet for whatever reason and this is a big moment where he realizes how screwed up everything is.

Grim Strider: FOIL Seems like a very interesting card. If you play on curve this should be a 4 cmc 3/3 but if you build around it it seems like it could get places, like a weaker death’s shadow. Cool flavor and lets you know more about the Hekma and how terrible things are on Amonkhet outside of the main city.

 Dusk//Dawn:  AFTERMATH. Modified flashback. This is very flavorful and seems really strong. I will be playing this in my Alesha EDH deck.

[bigboobshaunt]

Have you ever made a top 10 list of vidya you like? I enjoy reading your insight into games and I think it would be interesting to see that list and your reasons for liking them.

What is your favorite… sibling? Body part??

OK like, technically I did already make one, on this very site a long time ago (technically I reviewed the 10 that made the cut, separately), but I’m not super crazy about my analysis skills then and many that were on that list just ended up changing with time - both because I played more games and because I just ended up realizing I liked different games better.

Given that I absolutely love running my horrible mouth for probably way too long, your ask made me want to do one again, which was already an idea somewhere on the back of my mind.

A couple of disclaimers before we actually get into it: 

No game is perfect. Games are made by human beings, who carry personal biases and intrinsic flaws. I love a ton of games and they are All flawed in different ways and amounts. If anyone tells you a piece of media is straight up perfect, you should run. I am not claiming any of the games on this list are perfect, and I am well aware of their issues. I have eyes and can read.

This is my list, the barometer for it is Me. If anyone reading this takes issue with picks (which is something I keep seeing happen and it still makes no sense) just simply don’t interact or make your own list. Not looking for arguments here.

These are not, of course, gonna be in-depth for all of the games, just what exactly makes me like them so much, which was what I was asked. There are only so many spoons an enby can have, after all.

I tried keeping it to one game per franchise (barring one arguable exception) because otherwise this would get much, much harder than it already was.

Additionally, I failed to round out 10 of them, only managing 9. I beat around the bush a LOT about what the 10th one was gonna be, but no matter what choice, I always felt like I was gonna betray myself in the end, so I have reserved a section for honorable mentions at the end. These are also not numerically ranked, because while I have a long-standing Favorite game of all time, which is the last one I’ll get to, the other ones occupy uncertain, ever-changing spots.

I’m currently sitting atop a good pile of games I’ve been meaning to check out for ages, and since 2 games I’ve played recently made this list, I think it’s prudent to also make a spot for games I plan on playing to completion soon.

Here you go, anon! (And anyone else who might be interested)

Stardew Valley:

This game is both the most recent release to be on this list and also the newest entry, since it literally hasn’t been a month since I’ve finished it, and that’s part of why I placed it first here.

Though saying I “finished it” is kind of a lie, and that in itself reveals the magic, even after the “soft ending” I just keep going back to it every day, because it’s a world that just puts me in such a relaxed state… I want to spend time in my farm with my bisexual husband every day and I’m already planning two other playthroughs even if my first one is already creeping up on 100 hours!

See also: I’m… not particularly into farming sims? I’ve tried getting into them before but I just found them a little inane and unfocused, if that makes sense, so if my love for a game can transcend even a genre itself, I’d say that’s a pretty well-executed game, generally speaking.

I just also find it super endearing that the entire game was made by one person. From the artwork, the writing and the soundtrack… it’s crystal clear that a LOT of love and genuine effort went into it, and that’s very heartwarming and gives me hope.

Speaking of love, it’s also the entry in this list that has the most queer representation in it, and that’s a huuuuge plus for me, as a nonbinary bisexual. It’s a pretty cute game, and it also still manages to juggle a lot of complex themes which are very personally relatable to me with surprising tact.

Pokémon Black and White:

This is going to date this post pretty hard, but I’m actually replaying this one riiiight now. It’s actually right next to me on the table. How quaint!

These have been my favorite main Pokémon games since their release, and it’s largely a case of me being awed by its story and characters when I didn’t expect to be. I also really appreciate the risk these ones took by excluding Pokémon of previous regions to post-game content, since it forces you to get to know the new ones (which are both plentiful and incredibly creative imho!!) as you make your team.

I really appreciate the moral themes explored in this game, and how they even toyed with core concepts that had been with the series from the word go, questioning the morality we were just supposed to accept from the onset of this franchise, to the point that I’ve seen many people feel guilty about opposing this game’s main antagonistic force, N (who’s one of my favorite characters in fiction, at that).

If we’re talking strictly about casts as collective, this one has my favorite, without a doubt, in terms of rivals, antagonists, gym leaders, and even other minor npcs. I liked how they managed to effectively tie in the gym leaders with the plot, which really should be done more often, and I feel the games suffer when that doesn’t happen (hey X and Y! what’s up). The character development a lot of characters get in the sequel (which while still good, I’m not as fond of) is also very good!

Am I also still salty about folks passing this one up and then posting misinformed, under-researched opinions about it, or even deriding the Pokémon designs? Maybe! …Yeah, okay, I am. I have vivid memories of forum posts at the time, okay?

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky:

So this was the exception I was hinting at before, in the disclaimers. It’s a spin-off that’s quite different than the main series in gameplay, so I’m counting it. I really couldn’t live with myself if I made a list of my fave games and didn’t put this one in it, seeing as it’s one of the most surefire ways to make me cry there ever were.

Much like the previous entry, this one is yet another case of the writing taking me entirely by surprise. It would have been very easy to make this spin-off a quick cash-in just using the Pokémon name, but hot damn does this one’s narrative deliver in good writing.

The previous Mystery Dungeon game was absolutely no slouch in touching very dark themes, but I do feel like those were executed both better and more uniquely in the “sequel.”

Every part of this game past the time travel is just lip-smacking, and although it starts slow, you can definitely see pleeeenty of foreshadowing nearly everywhere, which makes replaying this one very fun. It’s definitely also on my “Must replay at least once a year” list as well.

I think every game in this list has a great soundtrack, but this one takes the cake in utilizing it to heighten my emotions. I think everyone reading this who’s familiar with the game knows what I mean when I say that the farewell scene (and the track that plays in it) is completely heartwrenching and beautiful. Definitely one of my favorite scenes in gaming.

I’m also gonna give a shoutout to the relationship between the player and the partner here for being super endearing and genuinely touching, whether you see it as romantic or platonic.

Sidenote: I will have the liver of that one reviewer who stopped at Apple Woods and then said this game was nothing special.

The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask:

The prize for reused assets done well goes to…

I would follow that up with a joke, but I’m not gonna. This is legitimately a good thing imo. I think it’s incredible that this game was made in one year because they had to rush it, and there’s a lot you can learn about game design and creatively cutting corners by the way Termina was created, too.

The fact that this game came out as great as it did is almost a miracle, everything considered! I really like the setting here, it’s so delightfully weird, and it makes me care about the fate of even its incredibly minor characters, which makes their impending doom and that of Link’s even more harrowing.

I could see how the time-management aspect of it wouldn’t fly with a lot of people, and admittedly I’m most familiar with the 3DS remake, so I can’t comment too much on how it used to be originally, but I think it largely synergizes well with the story. This IS a world about to end, so it feels warranted in a way that could be tough to justify otherwise.

This game also does something very well with horror, both in-game and in backstory, which is that it doesn’t spell out every implication and event out for you, but it implies juuuust enough that your mind makes you even more anxious and paranoid, as nothing could ever be as scary as your mind actually makes it out to be, and toying with this is way better than outright throwing scary shit at you… even if this game does that as well, what with those mask transformations and whatnot! Jeez.

Undertale:

I don’t know how to start this entry without outright saying this in some shape or form, so it’ll have to do - I don’t care about the fandom. I just don’t. They’ll do whatever the fuck they want with those terrible AUs and character biases, and I’ll bemoan it as usual, but I actively refuse to stop loving Undertale as it is because of them.

This game is a brilliant commentary on video games as a whole and has a great metanarrative! Pretty brilliantly and excellently executed, to be honest. It’s also yet another game that makes me cry frequently, and also makes me introspect more than I already do.

The gameplay itself can be hit or miss for me, but I don’t feel like it hurts the strength of what is there in other areas like storytelling, worldbuilding, soundtrack and character writing. It’s a bit like pinching a very hearty, stout elephant!

The different endings offer very, very different experiences that ultimately contribute to this setting and its commentary as a whole, even if I’m too much of a goody-two-shoes to ever do the No Mercy Run, but I enjoy the fact that it exists AND that the game itself calls me out for not doing it myself but watching it on youtube. Boy, did I get read for filth with that one. 

It’s also a game that masterfully implements a very specific kind of humor that I can’t get enough of, and it does so while simultaneously developing its characters and giving each of them just enough time to shine. It’s a great cast, all in all. I just wish people would appreciate more than one of the characters.

Fire Emblem: Awakening:

Like the game that made me etch a symbol on my fucking flesh forever wouldn’t make the cut. Come on.

I feel like this is the game in the series that comes the closest to getting the balance of qualities I appreciate about gaming right. It could always be better in a multitude of areas, but there’s a reason why it’s one of my most replayed games in general. The more whimsical tone? Doesn’t actually come close to bothering me, at the end of the day.

A lot of people don’t really attempt to get to know the characters like, at all, and then go on to say really dumb shit about them on social media that I’ve been known to flip the fuck about, just a little. But there’s just so many little details and anecdotes about them that you can learn through supports that make them feel more familiar to me, personally, than other casts even within the same series.

This game is also the one responsible for getting me through a really hard time in real life, so of course I still hold it extremely dear while growing out my critical lenses about it simultaneously (Yes, this can in fact be done). It did something similar to the franchise, too, which is always incredible and noteworthy!

It’s also responsible for me being on this site, so you really can say that its impact on my life is the biggest on this list, and I’m… not at all ashamed of admitting that.

I’m pretty sure I’ve spent over 500 hours with this one, without even counting the hours spent re-reading supports and other convos for my writing. This is a lot of goddamn time, but I don’t necessarily want it back, and that’s a good thing.

Udobure owns my soul.

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia:

If you were to suck out my brain into this fucked up jar thing and make it spit out my aesthetic biases in creative goop that creates games, two of them would come forth from this messy birth - Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia and Bloodborne.

Given that I’ve actually played OoE myself, it goes on the list! End overview.

…Now, that’s not exactly untrue, but I would be underselling the game if I left that as is, so I’ll clarify other aspects about it that I enjoy.

The main character, for one, she’s one of my favorite protagonists, and it makes me glad she seemed to be popular, but I’m not exactly thrilled with how what a lot of people (and the company) remember about her is fanservice. 

Her story really struck a chord with me. She’s been robbed of her own emotions and memories at the start of the game, and when she regains slivers of it throughout the game, they still feel foreign to her, but even when things look to be at their absolute lowest (REAL nice plot twist, by the by!) not even that will stop her from performing her duty.

Another thing I enjoyed about this one was the difficulty. Normally, I’m not one to prefer the higher settings just because, and even when I try them, I frequently find myself in the position of questioning the absolute bullshit some games pull to fake any actual difficulty, but it works here because it’s actually balanced really well with what you can do and what you have available to you, making you actually think strategically.

Another thing I liked about this title that makes it stand out from the rest of the series is the map variety, since Shanoa isn’t constrained to Castlevania for the entire run, the game has an actual opportunity to show different locales, which is nice, even if they sometimes get reused in a boring way with just a different paint job.

Bayonetta:

Thiiiiis one gets on here for the longest period of courtship, without a doubt. I’ve been wanting to play it ever since it came out, but only got around to it this very year, since it was finally released on a platform I owned.

Well, alright, that’s one of the reasons, the other reason it’s here? It’s fun as FUCK to play! Every movement you make, every action flows into another and the combos all feel very natural, easy, but not devoid of strategy or thinking behind them. Beyond the gameplay, the entire thing is so darn over-the-top in typical Platinum fashion. It’s a very enjoyable ride that never forgets video games are supposed to be fun, above all.

I absolutely adore Bayonetta herself as a character. She is so amazing and multi-faceted despite the fanservice packaging. She’s quipping like the best of them in one scene, like nothing ever affects her, and then also ripping your heart out later when she shows believable vulnerability. 

I would be remiss to not mention the soundtrack, since it’s one of my favorites in gaming (beaten only by the very next entry on here) and is also my go-to for writing; Between fun, catchy themes like Mysterious Destiny and Tomorrow Is Mine, reimaginings of older songs that imho are better than the originals, like Fly Me To The Moon and Moon RIver and utterly jaw-dropping boss themes like Blood and Darkness and The Greatest Jubilee, the OST conveys every beat of the action spectacularly and makes the experience even more memorable than it would have already been.

Bayojeanne forever.

Legend of Mana:

I swear I’m not trying to be hipster-y by having my favorite one also be the least popular one on the list (by a long shot) but it’s likely that the fact that content for it is so rare somewhat influenced how close this game is to my heart, in a way. I think it made me cherish it more.

You won’t find another game quite like this one, I don’t think. The setting is extremely unique in that… you build it. You have to decide where every area in the game goes and all. It’s actually implied you’re rebuilding this world after all the magic in it has gone to shit. It’s something I really like, for sure.

It definitely makes you work for its story, and though the gist of it is presented in a cumbersome way, being exposited in history tomes you can acquire and view in a specific location… even they don’t completely spell out the backstory of this world, but in a good way rather than the usual “we blatantly didn’t finish this” kind of way. It helps that there is a lot you can learn about it from environmental storytelling and interpretation, as well. I like that, being asked to think about symbolism and what it means.

Another good point about this game that’s difficult to articulate is that it manages to create an entire world with its own set of morals and philosophies that, if taken at face value, can sound completely alien to us, but the game immerses me so deep into its world, that I end up understanding what they mean by it anyways and sympathizing where I might have not. I think that helped shape my introspective nature a lot, in retrospect. 

 There’s also the fact that although the four biggest story arcs aren’t actually linked at all, they do still absolutely play into the same major theme… even if a lot of people end up missing what it is due to how obtuse this game can be (It’s love, my dudes. Love and its classical understandings are the theme that permeates this game’s setting).

It’s also absolutely impossible for me to talk about Legend of Mana without gushing about its art design. Even if the graphics themselves aren’t great, the way it implements backgrounds still completely floors me every time I play. It does really interesting things with perspective, which you don’t see often. Hell, even the aptly-named Junkyard is unreasonably gorgeous.

The soundtrack, then? It’s Yoko Shimomura at her absolute best. It goes all the way between upbeat melodies and soul-rending compositions and it’s just intensely distinctive. A special note goes to the song City of Flickering Destruction, which still makes my heart tighten even after so many years.

Whew uh, this got long… if you’ve read this far, congratulations! You certainly can put up with an untold amount of bullshit. I’m sorry this became so disorganized, but I also… really enjoy sharing these. Really, I do. I hope I at least piqued your interest with even one of these entries. That alone would make writing this worth it a thousand times over.

Honorable mentions: Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones, Fire Emblem: New Mystery of the Emblem, Earthbound, Bloodborne, Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate, Pokémon Emerald, Pokémon Sun, Pokémon Ranger: Shadows of Almia,  The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, Digimon World Dusk, Super Mario Sunshine, Super Mario Galaxy, New Super Mario Bros., Super Smash Bros For 3DS, Silent Hill 3, Resident Evil, Resident Evil 4, Resident Evil: Revelations, Resident Evil: Revelations 2, Bravely Default, Night in the Woods, Shovel Knight, Zero Escape: 9 Hours 9 Persons 9 Doors, Okami, Sonic 3 & Knuckles.

To play list: Dragon Age: Origins, Transistor, Bastion, The Darkness II, Skyrim, Hollow Knight, Dark Souls, Dark Souls II,  Sonic Mania, Resident Evil 5, Resident Evil 6, Alan Wake, Sonic Mania, Kingdom Hearts.