#though I’m weak rn bc I haven’t worked out in a long time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shorkbrian · 3 years

Text

Prelude - I need to stop catching sight of poetry on my explore page lol. This is entirely self-indulgent and very specific cause I’m rotting thru life rn and so if u dislike I understand lol. When I was in the hospital this last time it sucked rlly bad and like the awful horny degenerate I was I kept thinking abt Kirishima and soft sweet Sugawara idk lol

Pairing - Death god Kirishima x Reader

Warnings - Suicide, suicide attempt, no smut. Death. Drunk Drivers. Yandere but only a little bit and cause I can’t voluntarily accept love it has to be forced bc I cannot handle the thot of someone who is sane loving me bc there is no freaking way lol

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5Iy1wdO0tMaHwKnfFYtlel?si=-vqod-W6SHia8ui2Hdl_9g

Adding this one bc it’s like one of my favorites and I wish god I wish and I hope that this year is better than the last amen lol also there’s nothing more sad to me than someone pleading and begging and crying for the year to treat you nicely like bitch u okay? no. the answer is no.

https://open.spotify.com/track/0xRO7EKgYKVB8zKIoiXMDD?si=HYBaiBzjRGmQwfCHgnTUxA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It hurts.” You had told him, as the entity sat at the end of your hospital bed.

He often sank heavily onto the nearest surface, as if his bones ached with the weight of his body. You saw him often during those first few days in the hospital, days spent puking up pills, every move you made monitored, doctors and nurses scolding you about the severity of your actions.

You didn’t think they could see the hulking figure that comforted you.

“I”ve heard that it’s supposed to.” The red god of death would think aloud.

“I don’t want it then.” Tears upon your cheeks, soft, misty. “Take it.”

“Your life?” A nod would affirm his question, but the red god would shake his head. “I am no thief. Not a hunter, simply a gatherer of souls. I won’t take what doesn’t belong to me.”

“Then it’s yours, have my life. A gift, from me to you. Don’t make me live it any longer…..”

His sadness would show in his eyes.

But the soul-crushing hugs that were provided were admittedly a tiny bit nice.

“You’re far too sweet for your own good. I’ll receive your life when the time is right, not before.”

“But I don’t want it!” You sobbed into his shoulder, the god seeming to be your only friend in the world.

Hands stroked along your back, soft shushing sounds as the god attempted to soothe you in the ways he knew how. Soft touches, kind truths. “Many don’t. But it happens - life happens anyways. All you can do is find the things that make it less painful.”

“That’s not enough, it still hurts. I can’t stand it.” The sobs wracking your body didn’t stop the entity from holding you.

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

——

He’s patient and kind.

Surprising for a god who’s work involves collecting souls as if they were taxes. A job that should be bitter and tiresome, but the entity has infinite softness resting inside of him.

He walks with you, as you get “better“.

You watch him stop to marvel at flowers, to study the way dew drips from trees in little drops, eyes wide and wondering as crows startle from their perches and take off with noisy weeping.

This courtyard is drab and brown, a prison. Safe.

Yet the god of death treats the space gently, with respect. He thanks the old walls for standing, the worn stones beneath your feet. Their service is noted and appreciated. He’s so tender it almost makes you sick.

But you come to realize that he’s simply allowing himself to be vulnerable, to experience the earth and the beings in it.

For as soon as one recognizes vulnerability, which is so different from weakness or tragedy, one experiences a sense of tenderness. Without tenderness, pleasure means nothing. You need only look at the animals to see the truth of that. It is gentleness that distinguishes their playing from the actions they constantly take to ensure their survival.

You ask why he walks with you, why he is so focused on seeing you get “better“.

A soft smile, a meeting of eyes. “There is an end to your pain, sometime and somewhere. It’s most likely not here, not in this place at least-“ and he looks around, at the cold walls, the other sick patients, the staff. All human.

“-It will come. But for now, it’s enough to try and seek it out ourselves.”

You must look more sick than you really are, talking to thin air like that.

——-

Once you return home, the red god writes you letters.

He’s an old soul, an old god. You’re sure if you asked, he’d be able to recount the very first souls he reaped, a man and a woman, sinful and sweet but in love.

The letters help you get out of bed. What new stories or little quips the god has written pique your curiosity, even when you don’t want to move, don’t want to be awake or alive.

He tells you stories about certain souls, how each one is infinitely interesting, how they all interconnect. How some of them struggle against him, however fruitlessly. But he’s not the one who brought about their death, he’s there to comfort and guide.

Other souls, (“souls like yours” he writes) welcome him, run to his arms like a long lost lover. Their death was terrifying by their own hand, and it hurt. He can’t take away that pain, those memories. The red god says he wishes those souls find peace wherever he must take them afterwards, or at least, some form of contentment.

“The meaning of life is to give life meaning, at least, that’s what seems to be the consensus.” You rip off that part of the letter, hang it on your wall by your bed. The other letters you keep in your nightstand, content with the knowledge that there are souls out there like you

It’s hard work, creating meaning for yourself.

The red god takes to visiting you between each letter, says he misses you, the way your soul cries. He tells you that he wishes he could help you quiet it, quiet that raging, terrible storm that hurls you about.

You make him cookies - it’s the only way you know how to say thank you. It’s what your mother taught you, so it may not be right, but the god eats them nonetheless. He likes it when you eat with him, feeding you bites from his cookie, wiping chocolate off of your nose, making you laugh with stupid jokes and a mouth stuffed full of cookies.

Even if some of them are too crunchy, or others too soft, all of them imperfect.

Imperfection is the essence of humanity, he tells you, and it’s more fun eating each cookie with the thought that you’re devouring your imperfections, making yourself whole again, filling up the empty spaces in your soul.

——

Eventually, the crawl back to your feet, rise with the unsteadiness of a toddler. You fall frequently, cry often, but you’re able to get up and try again.

Some days you need to bury yourself in sadness, let yourself feel and feel and hurt. Other days are not so bad, but still tinged with regret and fear and sadness.

The red god is by your side, gives you something to cling to when you waver.

He is always there.

He will be there when you meet your end.

The god is in no hurry.

You question why he wastes his time on you, hours spent reassuring you, talking to you, tucking you in your bed and leaving glasses of water on your nightstand before taking his leave.

Home is a feeling, not a place. Home is with you - that’s what he tells you. You take his breath away, even though he might not even need to breath because he’s the god of death. HIs thoughts muddle and he trips over his feet and can’t help himself from wanting to hold you.

You learn that even gods yearn for home.

He’s capable of feelings and emotions just like any other human. He may be wiser, and older, able to draw from experience and a deep well of wisdom. But he still feels, and feels deeply.

Just as he gives the earth around him such reverence, he extends that same attitude when he deals with you.

“Everything I see reminds me of you. When I wake and the sun creeps over the mountains, hesitant, it reminds me of the way that you rise - haltingly, yet it happens nonetheless. The flowers in the field that so steadily grow, you’re like ground they take root in, soft and unstable yet still tenable with the potential for growth. I don’t know, I haven’t exactly held such closeness with a human-“

He trails off, but you think you understand.

Maybe you don’t. It’s hard to relate to a god.

——

A confession occurs, and you’re surprised to learn that the blood-red god of death is in love.

“What did my hands do before they held yours? What did my heart do without all of this love? I can’t hold enough of you, I carry such love for you in my heart.”

With a frail, hopeless human nonetheless.

You don’t know what to tell him, how to explain that you can barely take care of yourself right now, meet your own needs.

But the red god seems to know, seems to understand the way your breath hitches and your eyes widen. One more hug, squeezed tight to his chest while he promises nothing has to change.

Things do change, even if you wish them not to. The world doesn’t bow to your whims, nor the death-god’s.

Innocent touches, his hand on your shoulder, patting your head, offering to rub out the tension in your back after you’ve had a crushing day - they don’t feel so innocent anymore.

The constant survellience still seemed kind, and you knew it was with your best intentions in mind that the god hovered so close, invading every aspect of your life.

But a creeping tendril of unease took hold, and you worried.

Everywhere you turned, he would be there, ready to support you, walk you through anything you wished.

Again, you questioned his commitment. Why? Why you?

“I can’t explain how fond of you I’ve grown. How heat blossomed in my chest as we grew closer. There’s infinite things I wish to say to you, ways for me to express my-my love, but I’ll just let you live.”

He neither killed you nor let you live.

Was it frightening? Maybe. But you had nothing to really live for, lost, searching for your own meaning in a big big world, floundering in an endless sea of sadness and suffering. You weren’t afraid of anything the god could, or would, do to you.

Until you woke up, not knowing where you were, in pitch black.

Arms encircling your shoulders, a soft body beneath your own, holding you tightly, a hand caressing your cheek.

A sun rose, on a strange new land, on the blood-red god gazing at you.

“There seemed to be so much more time for you. But accidents happen, Drivers drink and hearts give out. I was expecting you to grow old, for us to live and love like that, see how you grew through life.”

He looked around this new world, and you vaguely remember what had come before. A walk along the sidewalk, blaring horns, impact, blood.

“But this will be just as nice. You can stay here with me now. Life can’t cause you anymore pain.”

You don’t feel comforted by those words. There’s no way for you to know whether this new world would be better than the one you left behind.

#kirishima #Kirishima Eijirou #kirishima x reader #kirishima imagine #bnha kirishima #kirishima x you #yandere #Yandere kirishima #tw.death #tw.suicide

195 notes · View notes

jett-dawson · 4 years

Text

— ANDERSHAW RANT

so i’m currently in a big andershaw mood. i really really love them. watching episodes five and six makes me so happy. i know this show is still finding its way, i know the drama isn’t super solid and i know the eps are only five minutes long. but i’m just trying to find happiness in what we’ve got. and while jella is obviously just such an iconic and strong ship, i feel like andershaw deserves some love & light as well. hell, they’re still lowkey underrated? even after the episodes? idk but anyways

after reading skyler and ruby’s i was like wait wait. these two bios feel like two different puzzle pieces. pieces that attach? they literally fit so well. ruby is this bold girl. mega aries energy. rainbow dash type beat. she is the girl who makes sure to put loving, supportive energy into her friends no matter what. shes there to hype them up when and if they need it. shes there to put extra flair onto their outfits and just be that very very cool gal. skyler is the shy one. cancer energy. fluttershy type beat. shes timid yet smart, shy and lowkey insecure. she’s not fully sure of herself. shes still finding her feet. shes still looking for the moment where she’s fully ready to shine. she just needs a boost. she needs confidence. she needs support. and yes of course she could get that from any of her friends but like. ruby is literally branded around being the hype friend!! how fitting is that! plus they’re literally just the definition of red and blue gays i’m sorry but it had to be said

then episodes five and six dropped. these episodes really strengthened their bond. seriously. whether you ship it or not, they are now closer than ever. think about it! skyler just lost the love of her life, who she had been dating for like three years, in the most crappiest way possible. who ran after her to comfort her? ruby. but ruby lowkey kinda just got let down as well. she got to go on a date with this “cute” boy from her class. she was excited for the party. she was hyped up, she ran over to her roomies to get excited with them. she was willing to vlog with him. all for him to turn out to be a fraud, not only to her but to her friend. but what did she do? put all of her energy into skyler. WHICH ISNT A SURPRISE. their bios do foreshadow the show, believe it or not. we knew poppy was going to have some sort of dynamic going on with the A’s. we knew sunny was going to have her own cartoon that she works on of her friends. we knew all of this! and you could say the same about the wave two bios, foreshadowing violet/karma drama, amaya coming into a school with an unexpected setting, etc.

but like. think about it. they could’ve had any of the girls go to comfort skyler. they could’ve had jade go, bella go, heck, even sunny! but they chose jade. bc thats her character. she cares. she cares enough. she knew just what to say. she knew the moment skyler started spewing junk abt colin being the reason she got into rainbow high, it was all false. she knew just what to say to help skyler. and immediately was like hey look. ur makeup is running. you’re upset. you don’t deserve this. let’s have a makeover together. and made a cute ass montage of them being in love and doing makeup and hair. bro they put each other’s initials on each others outfits!! that’s what ruby’s bio meant! she knows how to add flair to anyone’s looks! she gave skyler a bit of a makeover!! foreshadowing!!!!

and yet she supported skyler’s speech on the stage. she convinced skyler that colin isn’t worth her time or energy and that they should just turn their colour up and vibe. they didn’t have to do that. they seriously didn’t. opposites ships like these are always the death of me. you see that with jella! opposites in a way!! you see it with other ships from other shows.. ex. rarijack and flutterdash (since i was referencing mlp earlier lol). they just work. it’s the balance. the time. the effort and energy they put in together. and i love it.

and i feel like andershaw is one of the only canon dynamics that have gotten a lot of attention.. other than jella and sky/violet. like the roommates have cute bonds as well but we haven’t seen a lot of them have major like... heartfelt turn of events. i mean i do love the cute moment of skyler supporting sunny during episode one. i do like the dynamic of ruby and violet having the spa nights on thursdays and being the ones invested in vlogging and stuff. that’s cute! but andershaw had like a heartfelt turn of events that strengthened their bond. and it’s not a surprise to me because their bios!! make sense!!!

sky/river seems like an interesting take. i mean all we’ve known is them sharing the 22 and then seeing each other and knowing each other which is cute!! but i guess i just can’t get into it?? idk. like. i usually almost always find straight couples being weak in kids cartoons bc companies usually only throw in males for the purpose of being a love interest and almost nothing else. so i’m used to finding no interest in straight couples for the reason that their bonds are as strong as the main characters friendships! and this is usually in like girl power shows like mlp, precure, winx, eah, mh, etc. like i do love the het couples of eah and mh ngl. rosabella and daring? clawd and draculaura? ashlynn and hunter? deuce and cleo? love to see them. but i guess another factor in it is that we rarely ever get LGBT rep in kid shows like these and. i love to see myself represented in the things i love and cmon man the school is literally called rainbow high. we have to at least have one gay, cmon. please mga

anyways. i wonder what will happen to river tho. i feel like i can get into it if they develop out their relationship while also actually giving river a personality lol. i do love how hes into performing arts though. you don’t see a guy being into performing represented in cartoons every day. but i also wonder if the amaya/river theory will come true. half upset bc id expect someones theme that is literally based off of the rainbow would be gay but. i also love andershaw so NDMDNDJ it’s ok. i ship andershaw no matter what! i wonder what will happen, and if couples will even be a prominent thing in the shows future. i mean... i wouldn’t doubt it? if not, kia would serve like no other purpose as of rn lol. anyways. i love my gays and i’ll probably rant about them another time

#rainbow high #rainbowhigh #rainbow high dolls #andershaw #skyler x ruby #ruby x skyler #ruby anderson #skyler bradshaw

34 notes · View notes

boylebingo · 3 years

Text

fic writers tag

@montygreen tagged me in this ages ago but I have been having the nuttiest couple of weeks so it took me a hot sec to get to this, but I do appreciate it and if you somehow don’t already follow leila on here, you should go do that rn

now down to business :)

1) How many works do you have on AO3? only 3 at the moment!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 45238 as of today

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? just never have i ever! although i’m sure there are a few unfinished, never-published, years-old stories from assorted fandoms from when I was younger floating around in the void somewhere

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

haha well I’ve only got 3 published, but the number one spot goes to vanilla ice cream, which makes sense since it’s the only one i’ve actually finished so far 🙈

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

none of them? i feel like the reason i often read fic is because there is some unresolved canon-angst that i want someone else to resolve so while i definitely have points of tension, all of my stories tend to end (or are planned to end) happy

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

i think vanilla ice cream will still probably be the fluffiest bc of that epilogue i decided to write last minute, even once i finish all the others. but they’re all pretty happy 🥰

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

not so far, though i try to make it a habit to never say never. I think its one of those things that’s really difficult to write well and I’m just not sure it’s in my skillset to do so. but who knows? maybe one day!

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

see above haha. it’s pretty much the exact same answer :)

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try to answer all of them, although I know I missed a bunch while I was on a sorta unplanned writing hiatus. It’s only been a year of me posting anything I’ve written and it still genuinely baffles me that people not only read but also enjoy the things I put out there into the world, so every “thank you for reading” is from the heart for me and it’s so worth taking the two seconds to make my appreciation known.

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, thankfully! i think part of that is just i haven’t been around that long haha

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t... think so?

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but how cool is that? i wasn’t even really aware that was a thing that could happen!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no! but if anyone wants to feel free to hmu 👀 i am super busy rn but i would love to eventually cuz so many of the folks who write for this show are so talented

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

oh gosh. all time is really, really hard. obvi for NHIE i’ve fully boarded the ben/devi train, but some other all time TV faves of mine are ben/leslie from parks&rec, david/patrick from schitts creek, and josh/donna from the west wing. you might be able to tell i love a rivals to lovers moment from some of these lol 💀 but there are so many that i love for different reasons it’s like picking a favorite child lmao

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I do have plans to finish the 2 remaining fics up on ao3, but I will admit, the rosy dot over the i of loving was... ambitious, and not exactly well thought out when I started it. so it may be a while. i haven’t started much else new since those 3 went up, since i’ve been trying to finish what i’ve started. but i have had this ben/devi idea rattling around in my brain ever since i read the book “the unhoneymooners” that I am just not sure i’ll ever quite get around to.

16) What are your writing strengths?

i like to think i’m pretty good at writing dialogue! in college, i took a creative writing class for playwriting, where it was drilled into our head that you want to get as much of the story as humanly possible out through words, rather than actions. basically my professors argument was that any stage direction could be ignored by a director if the action/object/setting/etc. wasn’t directly referred to in lines said by a character. so if it was important to you, we should make someone talk about it! i think because of that my narration tends to be a little sparser (but hopefully that’s to the benefit of the dialogue!!)

oh, and i also took a class in humor writing and got an A, so.... 👀

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

i think i could be a lot better at coming up with themes/symbols/metaphors/etc. Having not really planned out the WIPs on AO3 now, this was hard to do, so I guess that also goes hand in hand with my time management haha. But yeah I find it a little difficult to have those sorts of literary devices in longer works (i used to write a lot more poetry and it was a little easier for me in that format so i have faith that i can get better).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i only fluently speak english and you do not want to see me butcher french or german, let alone a language I’ve never taken courses in. so it’s a hard no for me personally haha. that said if you know more than another language, first of all i’m jealous, and second of all, go for it!

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i don’t really know! like i said i used to write things without publishing them anywhere, so it’s hard to remember. maybe harry potter, when I was like 10? i feel like i probably wrote the same self-insert hogwarts moment that literally every 10 year old in the late-aughts was writing haha

i know for sure there was a b99 fic that was almost published on ao3 back in like season 2 or 3? that’s why my username is what it is 😊

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i’m really proud of finishing vanilla ice cream. buuuut i am also really proud of the poems in the rosy dot over the i of loving and i think if i ever finish that one, it will be my favorite for pushing me out of my writing comfort zone.

Tagging: fellow benvi advocate and @gross-vishwakumar and anyone else who would like to answer that hasn’t already been tagged by someone else cuz i know i got to this a bit late lol 🙈

4 notes · View notes

swordmaid · 4 years

Text

creator tag meme

tagged by the local angel @giuseppearcimboldo thank you so much lizzie!

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

VERY happy i can fill this out because i’ve been so productive this year lol. also this is all gonna be jb bc ive been RELENTLESS and spamming and i would apologize but i wont lmao

1. jb eros/psyche au.

i am talking about everything i have done for the au btw, because i’ve done quite a handful of things and honestly i really love all of them--even the doodle ones which rarely happens. anyway, i love this au in general. i think the tale is perfect for them, and i’m happy with the works that i managed to put out most esp this one that’s based on canova’s sculpture of eros and psyche. translating sculpture into digital art was interesting since it was all about converting the weight and structure of the sculpture into the screen and i think i managed to do it imo! i love how brienne looks heavy in his arms, i love how strong jaime looks holding her up and i especially love the way i shaded her dress to mimic the lines that the statue has. all in all, this au slapped and i actually want to do more of it but i have no inspiration right now.

2. jb as classical art series.

honestly i never thought that this was going to be a series lol i thought it was just a two time thing, but then i did another one, and then another one, and then another one and now here we are. i love all the pieces that i’ve done for it actually. my favourite thing is that they’re all not direct translations of the original art. there are some aspects that i’ve taken and adapted while also putting my own flair into it. i love the reverse colour scheme with klimt’s kiss and my own rendition of it. the gold being the accent highlight in a field of murky brown/black whereas klimt has the black squares present to emphasis the richness of the gold and yellows. i also like the little thing i did where i put the geometric shapes outside of the subject instead of inside (what he did). i put on the tags that i didnt like how it turned out but i actually like it lol i just didn’t like how long it took me i get too impatient with my art i think. anyway. i love this whole series sm i think all the pieces have their own character, and tbh i always get nervous adding another piece into this just because all the ones that i’ve done has been so well received i don’t want to be a disappointment lool. regardless, i love classical art and i love jb and i love being able to put the two together hehe we love to be self indulgent

3. la belle fleur sauvage commission.

aka THIS commission that was based from SD’s fic, la belle fleur sauvage. some behind the scenes with that one--that one took me SO long to do, like it was taking longer than i had wanted and i felt very bad and i am forever thankful for sd’s patience 😭😭😭. i really can’t be too mad though since i was working on the third year of my degree, but i still would’ve wanted to finish it sooner than i did. but as for the art itself---i actually love it lol. i always say to zoom in on my stuff to see all the details but i WISH folks would zoom in on that because it’s so big and so intricate. i love how everything turned out; i love how rich the colours are, i love the composition for all three panels, i love how the SKY looked like actually that’s the first time i sat down and painted clouds with that technique and i am so happy and pleased with how it looked im using it for everything LOL, i love jaime’s outfit in the 2nd panel---i actually designed a whole outfit for that and he DOES have his pouches and daggers, etc. stuff that he would have with him if he was a mercenary, but because of the cropping, those details were taken out but it’s THERE. i love the colours and the shading on the 3rd panel. it looks so soft and romantic and it’s everything 😭😭. honestly i didnt know if i was able to finish whole three panels just because of how big the project seemed, but tbqh this piece really pushed me as an artist and im really happy that i had the chance to work on it (-’:

4. early morning.

this one is a more recent piece and i was thinking post canon jaime/brienne married and either living in casterly rock or evenfall hall. originally the sheets were gonna be red with the gold brocade but i just made it green to make their location more ambiguous. they’re in a castle because of the finery, but which castle i have no idea. anyway i love their faces here in particular--jaime because it’s not often that i draw him old (this is the second time i drew old jaime i think?) and i love how he turned out here. i love how he looks like a silver fox and a dilf and we really do love that for brienne. full disclosure, i have no idea how to draw older folks since i don’t have a lot of practice in that area so im glad my lack of experience doesn’t show lmao. i also love how soft brienne looks here! the little smile on her lips is very sweet, her body language and how relax she seems is very telling abt her confidence in this scene also i think i drew her hands hella well haha. all in all i think it’s a really sweet art! and the full version is not so bad either jaime’s ass was referenced from marble sculptures so you know im aiming for Quality. but i love this headcanon of a younger brienne tiring jaime out, i’ve read a handful fics about it and im happy i can do my own version of it hehe

5. unravel.

wow we love domesticity. someone said that if you compile all my ns*w art of them together it’s like they haven’t left their bed ever since they got together and you know what? love that for them it’s what they deserve. anyway i chose this one because of how sensual and simple it is. their body language really does all the talking ; jaime’s hand pulling on the ties on her shift, her hand on his hair, how soft and lazy their kiss looks--it’s enough to tell the story me thinks! i just love how simple this whole thing is but it’s very effective. there’s really not much to it besides what you see but that’s really enough.

i am actually very proud of myself with how productive i’ve been. it’s really not often that i get as much drive and energy to post so much art. iirc my art tag is nearly 200 content already (i think it’s 180 ish rn?) and honestly that’s a LOT if you told me ill be making more than 100+ content for jb i would’ve been like nah im too lazy for that lmao. but im really proud of myself this year! i think i pushed myself as an artist and i’ve familiarized myself more with my strengths as well as my weaknesses. i have a clear idea on the areas that i need to work on, and i’ve really gotten more comfortable with being happy with my own pieces and i’m trying not to put myself down more if something doesn’t go the way i want it to. also, i’ve had the opportunity to work with more people this year--so for the people who has commissioned me or IS commissioning me rn--- thank you so much for trusting me with your visions 😭😭 ive never expected to get this kind of reception with my art but i am very grateful for all of it.

anyway as for the tagging i tag -- @na-bruma-leve / @dreadwulf / @dilfjaime / @fawnilu BUT i would highly recommend you to come along and snatch this tag meme up like a little raccoon because we all should start being proud of our own works imo !!

#long post /#this whole ass essay is me gushing about myself how gemini can i be

15 notes · View notes

petroltogo · 4 years

Note

Thanks for awsnering bro! (Is that ok? I usually call everyine bro since thats the language here(pal, bro, homie). If not, Ill stop immediately.)

My fanfic is Pre!Curse Arcobaleno with OC civilian (maybe gamer elements? And basically they are deaged, and shes not the only one that ended up in khr) that interacts with Skull, and then the others later. The fic mostly centers around how the Arco interact with each other (first meet to the cursed day) and the OC learning to understand them as they do her (action? Frienship? Found family of bastards?? Angst? We love to see it). I guess I love ur fic cuz its also very character driven, which I always love to see. Im always stuck hard by what other people think of the characters I like too.

I think characterization for the Arco would help? Idk plot but some part of me says to just jump off the cliff and see where I land.

I want to thank you for taking the time out of your day to help me. The tips you gave me were helpful, bc as the author you know whats gonna happen, but the characters and readers dont, and thats the point. Dont feel bad for writing a lot in response, it just gives me more to read, more to learn, ya know?

I was also curious about ur ideas about the arco? And other characters of course (the Varia are gonna kill me if I ever have to write them) I can also share mine if you'd like?

Thank you for taking the time read this! Please have a good day? (Its night rn for me lol)

Bro is fine. I’m cool with pretty much anything but thanks for asking! Also that sounds like a wonderful fic. I haven’t personally read much in the form of gamer stories so I won’t be any help there interactions I can do lol. [Also is there anything better than found family of criminals and morally ambiguous people? Didn’t think so.]

Regarding plot: Go for it. Some people like to plan everything out and some just like to start. Whatever you feel works for you, try it and if you notice that you keep getting stuck you can always change your approach.

[because this post too got way too long everything else is under the cut]

As for the arcobaleno: Full disclosure, I don’t know much about their canon selves. As my knowledge here is based on fandom. That said, the arcobaleno carry the title of the “strongest seven” and I personally love when they live up to that. Especially pre-curse but even afterwards, with their flames tempered with by the pacifiers, you can’t really get to the top of the mafia without some damn skill.

[Side note: I really enjoy the way the arcobaleno are described as predators in Teeth and Claws by TheShadowSwan on AO3. It’s a HP/KHR crossover and the HP side definitely isn’t for everyone but I adore the author’s description of the get-to-know interactions and power dynamics between the arcos -- though Skull is, for obvious reasons, very OOC.]

I think the biggest issues to address in the early arco days is Skull’s inclusion as a civilian [which probably offends everyone else who worked hard to get to this point but also why the whole bullying Skull? He’s still an arcobaleno, what do they gain by putting him down constantly? That never made sense to me unless it’s all part of some ruse or someone seriously fucked up somewhere] and the ideological conflict between military Lal (+Colonnello) and criminal everyone else. I also have a hard time imagining that all these seasoned criminals came there and were not suspicious at all -- of Checker Face, of Luce, of each other.

Honestly, I think there’s a lot of creative freedom regarding their characters because I don’t think that much about their personalities is actually known, especially not how they were before the curse [and the humiliation and the body dysphoria and their sudden flame-weakness and whatever the fuck else they struggle with]. Bottom line I think there’s a lot we authors can get away with here, but I do personally picture the arco as competent, dangerous when properly motivated, arrogant and morally ambiguous.

[The trick to the Varia is to remember that they are crazy, ruthless and Extra™ as fuck. And loyal. To their boss. Everyone and everything else second. (I’m only refering to the Varia from the ring battles here, not the institution as a whole. And I think Mammon could be an exception, depending on whether they’ve found their sky in Xanxus or not.)]

Again though, the great part about fanfic is that you get to share your view on them. And there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ view here -- unless you want to strictly adhere to canon which I personally never do, sorry not sorry canon -- so just go for it. Share your ideas of who the arcobaleno are, the fandom wants to know! Happy writing!

Time has no meaning on the internet but since it’s currently day here in Europe, I’m just gonna wish you a wonderful Sunday and hope for the best lol

#ReRe answers #doingthefrickfrackwithyouknowwho #Katekyou Hitman Reborn #Arcobaleno #headcanon #ReRe rambles

6 notes · View notes

thefledglingdm · 4 years

Note

7, 37 & 38, please! 💕

aaaaaaaaaaa thank you!!!!! these are SO POSITIVE, thank you for sending this after a v stressful day bc i am an anxious child. this got a little (very) long so the answer is below the cut!!!! thank you again!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

oh there are SO MANY parts of once that i am incredibly proud of???? like that’s one of the best pieces i’ve written in a long time. it was hard to pick, but i think the moment riza realizes she’s truly in love with roy is my favorite in that work:

She inhaled, breath shaky. She needed to get herself back under control. “But you are about to do something reckless. Something wrong. I swore to protect you the day I agreed to work with you. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I’m pointing a gun at your head.” Damn it, damn it, her hand was starting to shake and her voice crack and she needed to be stronger than this. Every breath was agony when she said, “This is pure hatred, and I will not let it take you.”

You will not, Riza vowed. She spoke it to the universe. She would spit in God’s face if They came down to try and argue with her.

You will not have him. You cannot take him. You will not take the man I love.

And of course, of course that’s the moment she knew what this was. That she gave in and stopped denying and pretending. Riza Hawkeye loved Roy Mustang with every fiber of her being, with everything that she was, and that knowledge settled over her like a blanket and yet changed nothing because she had loved him for years. It was as if she had been looking at all of her memories through a filter, and now with the haze gone she can see the sharpness of the lines and brilliance of the colors and she loved him, she loved him, she loved him.

i just. *jenny slate scream.* the pain. the love. the drama and angst of realizing that she loved him and didn’t want to live without him at the exact moment she was closest to losing him forever (literally and metaphorically), which is then mirrored by roy in the next scene???? i’m weak.

37. Talk about your current wips.

ok there are 2 big ones. the flame-witch and deadshot, my role-reversal FMAB fic, which is just. i’m sorry i haven't updated it i’m at this really frustrating writer’s block where i KNOW what happens next, i just don’t know how we GET there exactly. there are so many things i can’t wait to SHOW YOU ALL because there were some questions that i had after watching the series that weren’t answered, that we are going to dive into and answer together. also the what-ifs spiraled out and i just. what would a riza raised by a lone berthold look like? how would that affect how she saw the world? what if roy was a sniper wouldn’t that be sexy? how would riza react to ishval? how would she build her team, what would happen? how would she and roy build this incredible trust and friendship and fall in love if they don’t have the history of growing up together? because they WILL fall in love have no fear.

i also can’t write about the flame-witch without giving a shout-out to @royaidaydreams, who is the editor and the wall i bounce ideas off of who usually bounces better things back at me. she is so awesome and amazing and i really really appreciate all the work she’s done in making that fic what it is!!!! (she’s also just really sweet & cool)

and THEN there’s the blood runs stale, which is a hunter x hunter vigilante au. which is just pouring out of me rn because i am at the whims of my muse, sorry. sweet, sexy, pining kurapika who is a badass with a heart of gold who turns into a marshmallow when he sees the tall glass of water that is dr. leorio paladiknight. it’s fun and cheesy and campy and the found family is real. i also want to write another leopika that is straight-up the opposite and is the long-winded, mutual-pining, slow-burn, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers campy smut fest. so look out for that bullshit.

what i’m learning is i love writing about trauma? ok that sounds weird and shitty but like. i think stories and writing can be a cathartic release and a means for people to see themselves in a story, and by reading about/watching someone else heal, they can begin to do so, too. (though that’s not for everyone and that’s super valid/important!) i work in a really high-emotional-octane field, and i think the ways that people heal and move on from trauma - in the good, bad, messy, “weird,” complicated, ugly ways - are endlessly fascinating to read about and discuss because trauma is not pretty and i don’t want to romanticize it, but i want to write stories for whom people can see that anyone can heal from what they’ve been through and find something a bit better at the end of it? a fic i once read had a line that read “isn’t the point of working so things get better that they actually get better?” and that literally changed my life. griftings if you’re out there i love you. but yeah those are my wips

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

truly? all of them. any of them. if you so much as breathed on my fics i lost my mind. thank you so much.

but ummmm. yours, miss firewood-figs, are always lovely!!!! and so sweet!!!!! as is @kallutozoldyck whose reviews are always highly anticipated and just so very nice and aaaaaaa? aaaa!!!!

but also the user MissSteph22 sent me a gif (YOU CAN ADD GIFS TO AO3 REVIEWS!!!!!) in their very essay review for and i’ve been so lost without you (are you lost without me, too?) which made me cry???

honestly tho if you’ve ever clicked on something i wrote i face-planted into my pillow and yelled thank you ALL. sorry again this was so long i hope this doesn’t come across as self-absorbed thank you for reading and this ask and aaaaaaa!!!!!

5 notes · View notes

swearronchanel · 5 years

Text

9.06

I’m a day late but I have thoughts

- Fred is truly a gem lol but another garden seems redundant

- Trixie actually working!

- Why did they bring back Val’s really bitchy cousin lol, I’m sure she has others on the block😂

- Also Mcnulty seems eager to come back, nice boy

- Sister Hilda tryna stay positive when she knows the truth, bless her

- Also the heat 2000 feels just as far away when you say it now at days too😂

- Save Nonnatus House 1k65/2k20

- I was always wondering when the Turners would tell Angela she’s adopted. I think it should be soon, she deserves to know & I hope we see it

- Little girls always wanna be the same😭 that’s true, but I hope that they acknowledge the fact that it’s a different situation and Angela won’t ever have the struggle May is about to have

- “Maybe they’ll move and carry on like before” Trixie in tears makes me wanna cry😭 she’s literally already been through this. I wish we saw more moments where she reflects as the only OG midwife left (yea Shelagh is technically too but you already know all the issues)

- Also Trixie looks damn great

- What will midwives the do!? We shall see

- Oh so Val has a dad? Did he pass? Give us more info lol

- I also feel like it’s been spring/summer this whole series lol

- Ok but the suddenly alive lost parent trope is pretty soap-y/melodramatic but go on,

- Shelagh stress smoking is a big ass mood but also stop you have weak lungs sis

- Reggie always have great ideas

- Chugging castor oil uh I rather die 🤢

- She’s going to shit her brains out now

- LMAO YUP

- Sister Hilda and Trixie could be an interesting dynamic, let’s see it

- Fred do not worry you’ll figure it out

- What’s wrong with Sister Frances?

- Where is Ms Higgins from that she just said laboratory like that LMAO?? Or do all brits say it like that? i dont remember

- Can’t wait to see Phyllis back with her cubs

- Fred and Reggie hugging for so long🥺

- Sister MJ is going to make a garden, I love her

- Trixie’s new pyjama’s are so cute

- It’s a boy 🥺

- “I am not alone sister” LMAO omg reminds me of the time my grandma went shopping by herself right after she came out of the hospital and we called her and asked who she was with and she straight up said “con díos” aka god and I died

- Never underestimate Sister Mj tho

- Tim is so grown and yet he’s still just the babysitter is so wack give him a little story

- “I like that we’re complicated” awww

- The photos of May🥺awww

- Give Esther a chance man, I feel so bad. She only asked to meet her before she goes back

- Gtfo how can the agency not provide a translator so that she can understand official documents in her first language? That’s bullshit

- LMAO FRED IS WASTED

- “Only in the line of duty ma’am” 😂

- Oh no poor Sister Frances, cramps are the WORST 😭

- I legit would not be able to move for hours and have thrown up before from period pain. Thank god for birth control

- What’s wrong with baby warren?! Omg noo a heart problem

- Trixie’s fit is great

- The fucking chicken pox caused this omg nooo

- THE BEATLES AT SHEA!! iconic! Remember when Don took Sally on Mad Men

- Omg baby is blind? and only going to live a few weeks? Noo😭 this is heart breaking

- Poor Val and poor Maureen ugh this is so awful

- My niece turned 1 today and baby warren is making me extra emo😢

- Sister MJ with the teddy bear 🥺 she doesn’t even care she got caught for taking the blankets LMAO

- Damn May doesn’t remember her or her language. This is so heartbreaking

- ALSO why were there not subtitles so we could know what she said? 🤔 very questionable... just like how they emphasized earlier her going by a “christian” name now...

- Esther shouldn’t have gotten loud but they didn’t even give her a chance? That’s not really fair

- I know Patrick is being protective but he’s so defensive that he probably did scare May

- PHYLLIS FAKING CAR TROUBLES TO GET CRYRIL AND LUCILLE TOGETHER I LOVE IT

- Damn that didn’t go well LMAO

- I’m really feeling conflicted here. I know the Turners have the best intentions and want to keep May safe but I feel like they haven’t given Esther enough of a chance before passing judgment. Like how do we not know she’s a completely changed/clean from drugs women?

- like she is working for a family with enough money for international travel so they probably pay well? IDK what to think rn. Maybe I’m giving Esther the benefit of the doubt but no one else really is

- “They made my child afraid of me” that’s so sad to hear

- “Forgetting her language, forgetting that she’s Chinese” !!! THIS, no one is talking about May’s loss of culture & what’s worse is that no one else seems to care. It really upsets me, the show always wants to pride itself on respecting other cultures and being inclusive but I don’t always feel that

- Also what she said about what they’ve done to her people. She ain’t wrong. F**k colonialism and all its evils !!

- Poor Esther 😭 this is so sad. It’s a lose lose situation for her and she just wants her daughter to know her and know that she loves her

- Also I know sister J is sister J but her talking to Esther is a bit biased don’t you think

- NO NO NO Warren passed 😭😭😢

- Damn Patrick has to carry a stack of death certificates 😢

- ANOTHER look from Ms Franklin

- all the girls look great though

- My heart really breaks for Esther man. This is so sad. She’s the victim of circumstances and it sucks to feel like the world is against you

- It’s so awkward bc the Turners are always set up in moments to kiss and then they don’t and just stand or sit there

- Such beautiful flowers

- They developed the film of Baby Warren😭

- Cyril’s FIT ! A fashion KING who loves Lucille. I love it. I love them.

- The nosy nurses of course

- Alright this is an awesome little festival good job Fred and Reggie !!

- Love the dress Trixie. The hat no so much but it’s the 60s so

- A BABY GARDEN OMG HOW PRECIOUS

- SISTER MONICA JOAN WON OK!

- “Flowers take many forms. Each one has its story. Each one unfolds...” 🌼🌸💐🌷🌺🌻🌷

- “Not every garden blooms as we except it... tears take the place of rain when the sunshine fails us...” 😭💖

- This was a beautiful ending to a sad episode wow

#call the midwife #im conflicted #thoughts #live blogging but not really live

26 notes · View notes

feykyung · 4 years

Text

hi friends!! i’m jessie bringing u 450 yr old do kyunghwa who honestly needs to find better hobbies 😔 i wrote up a little human lifetime snippet here, but the rest of kyung’s 400+ yr history has yet to be filled with tons of Fun and Angsty stuff so that’s something to look forward to! :^) i’m weak for deep plots and i’m super excited to build sum intricate past/present connections with other vampires/species. granny doh has traveled far and wide carrying a book of all the stupid ways she can entertain herself... definitely in need of a few people to ground her. i managed to write a short PROFILE and PLOTS, but i also jotted down some more vague ideas and brief tl;dr below the cut! pls hmu if anything interests you!

TL;DR

born april 30, 1570 to a crippled scholar and two siblings. although the padre taught her to read and write, he was also silently struggling to support the household by just rewriting confucian texts and his own outdated books.

got engaged to a government official’s bastard and started something of an orphanage with him, but the children were massacred while trying to flee across the nam river from invading samurai. only kyunghwa and one of the little girls, sookja, barely survived after kyunghwa dragged them to another village with a doctor.

worked under him for a while but before they could leave to search for hubby samdeok, the japanese launched a second widespread attack. while the villagers & nobles were escaping, a nobleman got shoved off the side of the cliff by his own ox and pulled kyunghwa down with him 😳

just before she was about to give up and die on the forest floor, a passing (godsend) vampire offered a second chance at life and turned her into a fledgling. all she wanted to do was see sookja grow up and marry someone nice, partly to atone for her failure to protect all those children, and partly because she hadn’t yet sought retribution on their murderers. lived with her sire for some ~20 years

after bidding him farewell and helping out with sookja’s children, kyunghwa disguised herself as a man and served as a field surgeon of sorts during the first manchu invasion. after three months, went to work in the rice paddies to initiate her mission of Not going back to living in dirt

for the following couple decades, all she really focused on was making money and refining her supernatural abilities. the first time she got rich, she hadn’t heard of Financial Responsibility and nearly lost all her fortune until her sire had to relocate her and tell her to stop

fell in love with another human while travelling, but after remembering how lonely it is to watch your lover grow old and sick while you’ve haven’t aged for a hundred years, she stopped trying to have meaningful relationships with most mortals

was once much more cutthroat and feral toward humans and hunters, mostly because the worst ones would always use death as a means of escape. now, though, she doesn’t fuck w/ humans too much as a vampire, only when she’s disguised as one of them in society

has a painting/picture of every house she’s ever owned. before she turned 150, she used to also keep a written list of her closest human friends and lovers so she would always remember them, but kept forgetting to add to it so it’s somewhere collecting dust in the attic rn

regularly donates to orphanages and children’s programs, and established a couple mostly in the countryside

has developed an “it is what it is” mentality. she doesn’t actively seek death, but no longer exhausts herself just to avoid it. though when she’s killed, she’d prefer it to be when she no longer has any regrets

loves to admire her different masters degrees and like two or three doctorates, all acquired from frequently changing her profession on whim.

played sims when it first came out and *naturally* became an interior designer after, which is what she’s been for the past 6 years

highkey thinking about learning how to train elephants now (on a side note, she tried to tame a werewolf in wolf-form once but almost got killed by their entire pack)

uses telekinesis to get her cat out of the tree

MORE PLOT IDEAS!

vampires she’s known for centuries or ones just meeting each other for the first time

has sired two fledglings in her lifetime

currently not the biggest fan of killing humans to keep them silent, which is why she almost exclusively drinks from donors/donor bags. when you guys are out one night, one or both of you loses control. somehow you always bring out the worst (or feral) in her and a few weeks later, she still won’t get over how you “made” her kill that human after her 24 year clean streak

any genera friends!

classmates from grad school who wonder why this bitch looks the exact same as she did a few years ago

witches that she lends a bit of her blood to as long as she gets to see the final result of the spell. also might’ve been friends w/ ur great grandma

a witch she’s been pestering to invent the spell that makes blood taste like human food

cat-and-mouse dynamic with a hunter bc even tho kyunghwa’s unafraid of death, she still hasn’t built her greenhouse to grow banana plants yet

um that’s it so far if i think of any more i’ll probably plop them on my plot page but yeah!! if there’s anything particular you’d like to explore, i’d love to flesh things out/brainstorm through ims or discord ♡

#— ooc.#fey; plot call #turns out i was just kidding when i said brief #thank u for all the welcomes and messages!! will get to them in a bit <3

4 notes · View notes

ziracona · 4 years

Note

Hello Darling, I hope my asks have been getting through. Do take your time in answering of course but I hope they are getting through. Tumblr seems to dislike some of them. Anyway, what is your favorite TV Show currently? - Abby

Hey Abby. : ) I’m worried about some of the ones I’ve sent myself, haha, Tumblr really isn’t very reliable >.> sadly. I got one other last night I haven’t answered yet bc I’m still thinking about my answer & also I’ve been out most of the day because I’m sick again. I’m really tired of being sick. TuT

Hmmm. I’m not sure if I have a favorite? I’ve got a list of ones I have as long term faves, but the only one I’m watching RN is Parks & Rec because I start that over every time I finish it. I’ve seen it so many times I can just leave it on in the BG when I do other tasks like clean or cook or draw, haha. I love the friendships. Long-term faves I just started re watching ATLA with my little bro, I have an old soft spot for American Dragon Jake Long (also the origin of my weakness for memory loss tropes in media destroying my heart), Leverage is great, and Unlimited Blade Works is the newest addition to my long-term fave list (2015 version). Just finished showing W1A to my bff, rewatching Monk (& a little Psych) with family and really loving that, still finishing The Good Place with my sis (on the last season). Technically I’m still watching Supernatural with my dad but there are like 16 seasons or something and uh, we are not that far in, & it’s been a while since we did. It’s kinda our fun thing to do when we both have time though. I have a soft spot for the first four seasons of Smallville (Lex did NOTHING wrong), & a lot of superhero shows I watched with my little bro as a kid (LOSH, X-Men Evo, The Batman). I’m only just now watching Futurama this year (w my lil bro).

There’s a lot of others I know I’m forgetting (my whole family really likes showing each other shows haha) but that’s already way too many so I’ll stop here. I guess my fave at the moment as in most beloved + most recent is Unlimited Blade Works? No one I’ve showed it to has loved it as much as me :’-) but it’s very personal to me. I literally was Shirou Emiya & I still want to be a superhero, and some of it is wild and it can get convoluted, but at its core it’s about ethics and trying to fight for what’s right even when and maybe because it’s impossible, and the ending is really satisfying and bittersweet because any other ending wouldn’t have fit it, and I just really love the whole core narrative in it. Speaks to me. (Optimistic nihilism/hope punk is my jam. Thank you LOTR for starting this love in me). What are some of yours?

#Rosemary & Thyme and Code Geass are other old faves I still lovd #ask #june positivity anons #Abby

1 note · View note

podcastlimbo · 5 years

Text

Happy lizard kissin’!! Sorry I’m on A.I. loving bullshit rn but I was at a concert the other day and an idea for a fic popped into my head bear with me (this isn’t a fic fic it’s more scattered thoughts with some writing thrown in lmao hope y'all enjoy reading anyways?)

So it takes place in the modern Second Citadel au where everyone’s a suffering musician

I was racking my brain as to how Damien and Arum would have their first meeting bc I already wrote Arum and rillas and I think I figured it out!!

So Damien’s got some violin recital coming up and he needs to find an accompanist

He asks around his circle of musician buddies and Rilla suggests this dude Arum who comes by her music store sometimes and looks through piano books (and he’s a decent player too) and Damien is like,, why not and thus everything is arranged

But then Damien gets jitters b4 the practice since he’s never worked with a complete stranger in such a long time what if they’re completely incompatible and the recital is ruined?? Or it’s super awkward?? Damien has imposter syndrome like nobody’s business what if this super talented pianist sees through him for the sham he is??? And what would Rilla think if he didn’t get along with their mutual acquaintance??

By the time he’s able to center himself again he realizes he’s running super late and just flies into a panic again and rushes to the practice place

He’s like.. oh god the pianist can’t see me like this and covers up his anxiety with good ol false bravado

When Arum sees the violinist he’s supposed to be accompanying running into the practice room 15 minutes late and begin ordering him around inside he’s thinking ‘who the hell does this dude think he is wtf’ and they begin bickering immediately

Damien insists the Arums playing is overpowering his violin and Arum accuses Damien’s violin game of being WEAK AF

They keep finding faults in each others playing. They’ve been in there for an hour but they haven’t even played through the whole piece once.

(They’re playing this Mozart thing I heard at the concert can’t find it now but I’ll probably attach it later lol)

The entire piece through they’re just glaring at each other Damien is sawing away on the violin and Arum is slamming his hands on the keys it’s bad

In the brief times when one of them takes a break from playing the other immediately switches to virtuoso mode and tries to outperform the other

Arum had heard this piece before. Hell, he had accompanied more a few violinists who played this exact concerto. Violinists who had shown none of the attitude the way this.. Damien, did. I mean, who exactly did he think he was, marching in late, as if he owned the place, questioning his playing, his merit as a musician, when he himself played with the grace and subtlety of a stampeding elephant?

Such thoughts were running through his head, until the solo. The solo.

For some info this is the solo that requires the violinist to delay the resolution of the piece for minutes. and the piece just REFUSES to resolve. As for Damien, he’s finally able to pay attention to the music and is just completely in the zone

When he started the solo, Arum lifted his hands from the keys, reaching automatically for the phone he left on the bench beside him, but stopped when he finally registered not what the violinist was playing (that he had heard too many times to count), but how he was playing it

It’s a peculiar experience, watching a fellow musician play. So often you’re so absorbed in the music, that you don’t notice how you move along with the passages run up and down. You don’t notice your furrowed brow, the way you bite your upper lip in concentration. The beads of sweat that form on your forehead at particularly difficult runs. The way your eyes subconsciously slip closed, as you play phrases practiced so often that they ring in your dreams. The ebbs and flows of your body as it shifts with every gracile movement of your bow.

Arum is entranced by Damien’s playing. He can’t help it really. He finds himself holding his breath when the violinist veers close to a perfect cadence, releasing it in a frustrated huff when he modulates to another key.

They’re both breathless. Damien’s fingers are dancing across the violin’s fingerboard feverishly, and Arum can’t breathe as he watches, as he listens to the notes traveling higher and higher

And he almost misses his final cue, as the piece draws to its inevitable conclusion. With a start, Arum is brought back to reality, and with all the strength he can muster, he plays the final chords that intermingle perfectly with Damien’s. Five seven one. And even though the final notes are lost to the room’s sound-sucking walls, they seem to echo in the minds of both pianist and violinist

Until all that is left is silence

Their glances catch for a moment, but to them it feels like an eternity

Damien is the first to look away. He hastily keeps his instrument, files away his sheet music, folds up his stand. Clearing his throat awkwardly, Arum does the same.

As he closes the lid of the piano, he ventures ‘so... this time next Wednesday?’

‘Tuesday, if it’s fine with you.’

#the penumbra podcast #second citadel #lizard kissin' tuesday #ok I keep veering between 'Im ok with this' and 'I absolutely loathe this'#so im just gonna post this now that my mind is with the former

28 notes · View notes

survivormontenegro · 5 years

Text

Episode 1: "I'll either flop hard or finally fucking win so let's see how this game plays." - Ian

season starts in t minus eleven minutes and I'm SO READY TO FLOP WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

give me an idol thanks

Hi!!! Im back on tumblr survivor omg I thought I would never return cuz I am so inactive on skype but here I am with the best hosts ever seamus and drew even tho seamus bullies me... This time now that I actually have some experience I hopefully wont be first boot and can play better rather than be a sheep LOL

So far I like my tribe, Ali and mitch are prob my favs so far both kings

The only people I have ever heard of before is willow one of my bffs from FB orgs and jones bc shes jones but both on the other tribe so hope I can meet them at swap or merge!

But apart from that no clue who these ppl are, kinda nice tho and refreshing since on fb its always the same people so this should be fun

Bro we got 2 sandwich artists. And a sandwich related challenge. If we don’t win I’ll be mad

Okay so right now I don’t know anyone or anything what the fuck. This is so different from zwooper everyone is here to play. Right now I’m getting good vibes from Caleb and I think I’m gonna make him my go to. I know Noah on the other tribe but I know he doesn’t like me and I really don’t like the way he plays games. I heard Jamarcus was in this game but I guess not :(. But yeah so this is gonna be one wild ride!

submitting this before i forget/decide not to do a video on it:

http://bit.ly/2ZoKSiK <- Jason’s First Impressions

Hie Montenegro,,, im here,,, and full of existential fear!! I wanted to do a full video cast assessment but my phone storage truly sucks on this night at 3:00 am and I have shit to do tomorrow so :) gotta write!! Myfeelings!!!! David - has said Hewwo when we were revealed and vanished. Hopefully he can deliver in a comp Bc rn he’s kinda irrelevant :( holding out hope tho Willow - queen of being busy,,, we talked in pms but for like a minute,, she knows some of my friends from an FB game I watched her play tho! So that’s SOMETHing, but not a lot. I’ve heard not the greatest things about her social game in the past tho, so I’m not shocked rn Evan - I think I’ve actuallh played w him before assuming this is the same Evan from erinsborough? Big shrug, he was inactive that game tho and would’ve striked out if we didn’t vote him,,, hopefully things are different tho? His picture is Gavin from DP and I appreciate it greatly,, Tom - I just got off of a 5 hour call w him and he seems really chill!? Haven’t talked in pms yet or anything so hopefully we can do that soon? But he seems like a great dude!! His dog is super fucking cute too. JJ - I think of my entire tribe, he’s the epitome of extra. He has 50 fucking sugar gliders like??????? Ma’am?????????? Also he’s from tengaged and MORE IMPORTANTLY he knows keaton apparently!! So,,, probably a crackhead knowing my luck w Keaton. He’s very outgoing and friendly tho and definitely seems like someone i COULD work with,,, but I wanna see how everything plays out, Caeleb - adopted him as my grandson. Bc he called me his grandma. He seems like a sweetie pie it’s his first org ever though so go him!! Hopefully grandma can take him under her wing hehe Mo - literally one of my first close friends in the community,, an angel whom owns my heart, I feel like he’d wanna work w me but I’d never know fully until we prove our loyalties yk? So I’m also holding out hope for him,,, king. Alex - I love him!!!? So much???? He said he stans me I love him sm Bc I remember stanning him when I first started playing Bc he’s all I’d heard about art in the community lolol but I’m v excited to actuallh play with him I fucking called him being here :) Jules - my love my light we just clicked real quick, she’s legitimately an angel whom I adore??? It’s her first survivor game I’m rooting for her. But ya I’m exhausted so that’s it for now UwU gn bois

okie I feel like I should do a cast assessment of my tribe, just as a starter. my opinions will like 1000% change so this is by no means final but woo I'll go with this!

In general... this cast is... pretty good? Like I was very very worried since I'm so annoying that everyone that hates me would reappear for this season, but I think(?) only like... one person in the cast would dislike me/gun for me for preseason stuff. Anywho:

Benj: Okay he seems super super nice! Like he seems really friendly, we have a lot in common already and I think since we are both in weird timezones we could work really well as allies! He seems super like chill and would work with just people he seems to get along with, so I feel like... that could be a real potential alliance in the future ahhh!

Ian: Ian I haven't spoken to all that much yet (he was towards the end of the cast reveal) but he seems really really chill! He has also come 2nd twice which is something I can relate to, so maybe we will be on a similar page as players?

Jared: Okay first fellow newbie. We haven't spoken much or had the chance to really like have a good conversation so far! I feel like since its 12-8 for newbies, maybe its a good idea for us to group up tho, idk if it can happen since at least for me, I haven't really connected to the newbies as much?

Jason: He is so so fun! Like I've really liked talking with him so far, he was on the CAH call yesterday and was getting along with Julia which is really good too, since I defo wanna work with them both!

Julia: A QUEEN. okay I was very worried seeing her on the cast reveal since both times I've played with her, I've voted her out very very early.... BUT, she seems interested in wanting to work with me and I'd love to because such a wild time, and I feel like... me and her strengths/weaknesses can kind of counterbalance in a way that'll work really well! She could always be playing me, but tbh... its what I deserve anyway, and I'd LOVE to see her do really well this season.

Madeline: I really like her! I've spoken to her probs the most of the newbies and she seems really nice and social which is super good! I feel like she'll fit in for a while and have quite smooth sailing

Michael: I'm sure he is great, but we haven't really.. been able to talk all that much? I feel like if I had to predict who would go if our tribe lost, I'd... probably say him?

Mitch: omg this cast is so big I'm not even through my tribe AHH. anyway mitch was on the first cast reveal like I was. I get ok vibes from him, he seems like... he is here to play the game hard which makes me nervy, but hopefully I can like fudge that to my advantage?

Noah: okay he is super fun, I feel like... our conversations have been very dry, but also that its 100% my fault. idk the ability to be interesting just kind of _dropped_ out of me but I'll try and redeem that today

okay the other tribe I'll just skim through and do the ones I know:

Alex C.: he seems like a king! I've been in VLs for seasons he has been in, I feel like he will not like me but I'd love to meet him!

David R.: okay he will 10000% not remember me, but he was in my first season ever! he was very inactive and his only like... confessional was about me being annoying KJSLDAD which is maybe a.. bad sign! lets see how it goes this time

Jones: She seems SO nice! I have been in VLs with her before, and she seems so so so nice! I'd love to play with her down the line, but I think she is also probs here to WIN which is scary.

Jules: A LEGEND! I love Jules, would love to work with them if possible! They're probably the person I am closest to pregame but can hopefully keep that hush hush...

Mo: a king! I hosted him for his first season, and he was SO much fun. I feel like he has gone off me, but I'm super excited to see how he does!

Tom: he is... probably the biggest problem for me in the cast? Like he was in the only season I won, and saw me play a snake game which I do not intend to play like this time? But I feel like if he still dislikes me (which he might), he could like... tell people how snakey I was! I would love to like work with him if he wants, but I feel like he wouldn't trust me at all KASDLF

Willow: A queen! I haven't spoken to her in ages but used to around her first season a lot! so so nice.

Yeah so overall thoughts on each tribe:

Durmitor: Almost everyone I knew preseason was on this tribe, which is probably to my advantage, that'll hopefully help out in like... a swap situation? Worried about Tom but am cautiously optimistic about Willow/Mo/Jules! I feel like this tribe is gonna do very very good on challlenges which... AHHHH i don't wanna go to tribal

Budva: Okay I really like my tribe! I get the best vibes from Benj, Julia & Jason who are all people I'd love to work with! I think(?) I could be okay for now, like I feel like I've already got some good ties, and that there are other people that would go... before me... maybe? Its probably only like 2 rounds on these tribes so I maybe don't even need to last that long aksfda

Ugh honestly why am I back and like... I DON’T ANYBODY HERE? Nicole G is my spirit animal.

Well except for Jason and Julia. I do know them as well as Alex and Rob. Basically I don’t know anyone post chamonix and I feel like a fish out of water. I’ll either flop hard or finally fucking win so let’s see how this game plays.

My tribe is idk, quiet? But like we called and played cards against humanity which was fun but like idk Anau and Monte Rosa were just more active and fun and all.

Julia - fellow oldie, I might work with her since she’s quite social and all. Witchcraft and all.

Jason - I wanna work with him because 1) oldie 2) fellow runner-up and 3) he knows josh. And if my TS career hasn’t proven me wrong, people who I play with who know josh are a huge BOON to my game so yeahhH

Benj - he seems nice. He lives New Zealand so we will probably be the only ones awake at our respective time zones so that can be grounds for something :D

Ali - seems nice as well. We talked about the weather and all so that was fun.

Mitch - we had a short convo so idk him very well to get a good read on him.

Jared - We only started talking now so we will see hmmm

Michael - I’m 50% sure he’s a robot. Just because he sends messages like a robot but I could be wrong. Idk it’s hard to get a read on him but we talked some and I hope he is good at challenges

Madeline - She told me she was a returnee but the wiki says she ain’t? What is the truth. Seems nice?? Idk

Noah - we haven’t talked

Tbh this is probably the most quiet starting tribe I’ve been on. Nicole G is my sprit animal btw

(hi plss add this to the first confessionals i sent) Asya - haven’t talked to her as well. But she did briefly joined the tribe call

Here's a Video Confessional that details what’s on my mind:

youtube

America I think I fucked myself over on this one. I told JJ and Tom last night that I got 155k in sandwich stacker the last time I played it and now I think they’re expecting me to recreate that score?? And like,,, do better?????? But it turns out I’m unexpectedly very busy today and I can’t even do it when I get home Bc I’m not gonna have a laptop to play it on,, so I fucked myself over on this one chief. Not only am I most likely not doing this challenge, but I set myself up to look like a challenge threat!! When I can’t even back it up???? Love that for me :)

okay so I've now had a chance to talk to pretty much my whole tribe more which is fun. I LOVE THEM ALL AND REFUSE TO EVER. GO. TO. TRIBAL.

So my favourites atm are defo Julia, she is SUCH a legend, and her hex powers will carry us to success. I'm also really liking Benj & Jason on a personal level, they are super fun, and like chill on a game level which I really like!

Of the rest, Jared approached me to work with me which AHH exciting! But it was kind of unprompted and outta nowhere, so I'm worried he could play a bit too hard too fast, so will try and keep an eye on him. Madeline is super fun, I'm really liking talking to her, and I'm more reassured about working with my fellow newbies now, since Jared/Madeline I'm really liking! Michael is super sweet, he sent me this long nice message about how to pronounce my name which was super sweet, I haven't spoken to him too much yet! Noah I've spoken to the least, he is my biggest ??? so far, which ahh but I'll figure that one out. Mitch is quite quiet but I really like him! Ian is a king!

AHH I LOVE EVERYONE THIS IS A PROBLEM. I always do this where I make friends with everyone and then have to betray someone every round. I'm determined to pace myself this time. Julia is my Number #1 rn, she approached me first and I think we are a great balancing pair. I also really like Benj/Jason, would love to maybe be in a bigger alliance with them? Jared I'm like... apprehensive that he is gonna play really hard, but also wanna work with him. Those are probably my top four rn? I'd then put Madeline/Ian on the next level, Mitch the level below and Noah/Michael on the bottom level as my biggest unknowns!

otherwise this challenge is so demonic, and one day I will get revenge on seamus for making us endure this. I think I'm doing pretty good, and like... can't face the bread anymore, so will probs stick with my score. I really don't wanna go to tribal so hope my tribe can pull this out wooo!

Hi it’s Mo, I’m the dumb bitch who thinks he needs a Gatorade after walking up a flight of stairs. At the moment I’m feeling very distressed because I sat outside for a good hour or so and some mosquitos decided to take it upon themselves to go to town on my legs. But game-wise I’m feeling very comfortable on my tribe. I think I made some good connections on the tribe call last night and I got to know everyone really well and literally I have no complaints about anyone at the moment. They’re all super chill. My biggest fear is letting them down so I’m doing my best to get a good score on sandwich stacker.

Wow It's great to be back and not know like a single soul! I will kms because of that! Also wow my boss sprung a double on me today so I didnt get to talk to anyone! In the first 24 hours! I love this for me! Im on call right now so hopefully I can do SOMETHING and get good with people!!

So I have yet to do a formal confessional but let me just tell you my tribe is so cracked and I love it. I'm gonna give y'all my thoughts on the players of my tribe because why not. Ok so first off we have Julia. Julia is so cracked but I LOVE HER. She is the good luck charm of the tribe because she is involved in witchcraft and honestly I find that hilarious. Then we got Ali. He seems super sweet but I have yet to get to know him well. I think he has been in the tumblr community for a while but I'm not sure because im not in that community (whoops). Jason and I have meshed pretty well together over the love for the cowboy emoji, Madeleine seems like an easy number for me, and same for Jared. I think if we ever go to tribal I might try to connect us three with Benji who I also think I can trust really well. Then we have Ian and Noah. Honestly my conversations with them have been pretty awkward??? Idk if that is just because they are busy but like I don't rly mesh well with either of them. Then there is Michael who literally talks like his username: A Big Blue Robot

someone literally said they were worried that me being so into astrology would influence how i viewed other people and i told them that it wouldn't but the tea is it will, try to stop me

Heya its me. Rookie here on survivor Montenegro. Never played before. Kinda nervous. I'm trying to keep it light and airy with my chats with all the tribe members, because I don't want them thinking I'm trying to create drama too early. They seeeeem to like me and I think I really like them too. Evan kinda has latched on to me, and I like having an easy go to for talking shoppe, but he's super paranoid and thinks he has no shot at this. Even said that everyone else is fully bonding without him. And thats fine of course, I can handle supporting him especially if it seems like a surprise friendship, but his scaredyness might be rubbing off because its making me a little afraid that people are talking shoppe much more than they're letting on with me. Alsooo, low key a tiny bit annoyed with how much we love to call. Like y'all are nice but it seems to be the same person (eyooop) every time and the same person talking in the tribe chat. hehe peace out

hi okie i would've filmed a video confessional, but i look DISGUSTING so you will have to settle with type type typing!

so lots is happening REAL fast and my head hurts so i need to talk it out. We won reward which WOO, and the reuben sandwich also gave me 3 free checks for bridge steps for the idol so GOOD NEWS. I also used it to build trust with Benj & Julia, and told Jared who kind of put me on the spot and asked me about it (more on Jared later).

So I now have my chart to map idol progress titled 'Bridge to Terebeth-idol' and I'm using all the info I get to slowly get an idea of idol progress, the idol is MINE and I'm determined to play it WRONG. otherwise, I'd love to see Benj or Julia get it, love 'em both.

Anywhomst back to Jared. he is VERY forward with game stuff and is like... going 0 to 100 waay too quick, and its making me and Benj nervous. We are both going to keep an eye, I could see Jared burning out quite quick akdlfas. For the rest of the tribe, I really really like Jason he is such a king, Madeline is super nice but I think quite quiet so could potentially go if we lose. Michael is great at challenges, but his social game is a bit ahh (he like.. told Julia she would be a target for making a mistake in the challenge akjsdfaslfladfjla). Noah I really like, but we are kinda out of sync with timezones which is no good. Mitch filled in for me in teh challenge so I owe him bigtime.

ANYWAYS. this is already waay too long, the summary is WOO JULIA AND BENJ, woo (at a slightly lower volume) for Jason and Jared. Love the hosts, loving this game so far, only thing I'm not loving is sandwiches (unless they are reuben sandwiches asjdklfa).

Okay so little recap of the first night on Montenegro Durmitor Beach.... I really felt worried! Like from the first impressions and the intro's I thought okay i have nothing in common with any of these people, this is going to be so hard to get in a safe spot and go far in this game!

After jumping on call with the likes of Jules, Jones, JJ and Mo I felt a little bit safe as they were laughing at some of my jokes and i felt like i could contribute to the conversation which is nice. I really tried my best in this sandwich stacker challenge to show the tribe that i can perform in flash games and help win immunities for future rounds so it gave them a reason to keep me and potentially the stronger players on the tribe would want to add me to an alliance...well i mean that didnt happen but hey who knows its only day 2

So i recognised that JJ was from Tengaged and i had played with him a little bit whilst on that site so i tried to connect with him and make conversation with him and that dramatic little boy decided to drop his vocabulary and use his silly little boy one word responses which wasnt very uhm reassuring. HOWEVER I feel like over the past 2 days JJ and I have formed some sort of bond and i believe its mutual that we want to work together and help each other out in this game. MY ONLY CONCERN about working with JJ is that I dont want to be seen as in a duo with him so him and me need to stop bullying each other on calls and staying on tribe calls when no one else is on them. He helped me out in the idol hunt as well so he is already giving me some information showing he is down to work with me

Okay so overall i feel like my tribe is full of very big personalities and thats concerning a fight will be had for majority i reckon.

Jules: She is so nice, and we connect pretty good, i know she is one bad ass game player though and definitely a threat down the line so keeping her on my side is beneficial for now and hopefully if she does become seen as a target i can use that to my advantage and she can be a meat shield.

Mo: Mo is cool and chill to talk to, we dont really speak that much on pms however i want that to change i get a very loyal vibe from him so yeah something i am willing to explore

Willow & Evan: They both have similar standings with me in this tribe, i feel like they both want to work with me, Evan has said he does and that he gets a good vibe and wants to work with me which is good and i feel like willow is also leaning towards that as well. The only issue with working with these two is they arent very big personalities so i will be targeted before them however i feel like they could be very loyal. Its going to be hard to integrate them into a large alliance unless one of them start because others will be closer to people that isnt them.

Alex: So Alex is a weird one for me, he seems super emotional and honestly someone i just cant really relate to or connect with. I may be wrong but thats my first impression of him, he seems to be all up in Jules/Jones grill which is something i will have to keep an eye out for.

Jones: Jones is a big big big big threat i think everyone on this tribe can already tell this woman will be hard to get out, socially she is impressive and she said she is pretty good at challenges as well so........i'm just going to try and act really dumb around her and make her believe that im willing to work with her till the end as a loyal sheep. However for now i would like to work with her (even though probably everyone does)

David: Well i mean he is like not active very much, he came on call and i have a fear of drag people and he is a drag people so i hope he doesnt rock up to tribal in drag because it is a serious phobia..... wouldnt mind if he went first just because we dont really talk!

JJ: already spoke about him

Caeleb: Everyone is very nice in this cast but i feel like caeleb is a little bit uhh reserved, i feel like hes a little shy at the moment but i think he can be a gem to work and play with. Idk what type of player any of these people are so just gotta test the waters.

All i know is that this tribe is ready to play....and play hard so survivors ready: game on bitches! #STAYLOWANDGOGOGO

youtube

Oh wow this twisty twist twist, hate it!! So anyway now that we have to go to tribal Idk who the heckie to choose to vote! The only people I feel like I have absolutely no connection with so far are Evan and Caeleb, everyone else ive at least talked to a bit?? Jules is cool (also havent talked to her that much) Mo and Jones are the people ive talked to the most so far and I really wanna work with them I think, we will see DREW YOU HAVE MESSED ME UP

youtube

This twist is very fiendish and I love and hate it!! More stress ensuing the more fun for drew hmmm

Anyway, right now I want Madeline gone. I feel she’s not putting her all into this game and in the challenges. Plus she told me she was a returnee but the wiki says otherwise grrrr

For now I think I’m gonna work with Julia and Jason. Might also wanna work with Benji and Ali. Ali is very intuitive because he noticed that it’s important to keep any voting plans under wraps because if word got out of the plan and we’re not actually going to trial, oh hell will be loose!!

So far Julia and Jared are eyeing Madeline as a target and I am here for it! She may have sealed her fate by like going to sleep at this hour but let’s see! She might be faking it lol

Okay fuck you guys for this twist my anxiety is running RAMPANT I know everyone is gonna wanna Vote me for being the youngest I hope you all die and literally choke on your own liver. Anyways my day has been GREAT, thanks for asking!! I feel confident with my comp performance, so hopefully they choose to keep me in?? If not it was nice knowing you guys except Johnny

Oh this- this is terrible. I did so bad on my sandwich tray thing even though at the time I was like IM FUCKIN SPEEDY GONZALEZ WERE GONNA WIN and I scored like 48 but then I find out that everyone else scored somewhere in the 90’s and now it’s just kinda... fuck.

youtube

Blind Tribals? What kind of tomfoolery is this. Im surprised my tribe came up with a consensus of voting off someone this early even though we still have a full 24 hours. I was fully prepared to take charge but I guess I don't have to anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cax7k6-mA-A

^ Video confessional not letting me post tho

So everything has been like a legit clusterfuck and I see this tribes dynamic starting to play out. I think socially I have done my job and excelled. I would say I feel as if I have established a good personal relationship with most of my tribe members except two of them- Madeleine and Michael. Both of them talk very little and it's honestly very frustrating for myself. Not to mention Michael last night sketched me out very bad after we had finished playing the role call part of the immunity. So I had found an error that I had made, and it scared me and I thought I could talk to him about it. I was like, well I hope this doesn't put a target on my back. He responds with this: we can make sure you won't be. will just take some work. Hold the damn phone. It will take some work? Why would it take work period? It just freaked me out so I went to Jason and I told him about it. Jason made me feel more comfortable and I decided to tell him that I trusted him and I was on board with him. So after immunity is done, and the whole blind round twist is revealed I decided to go and talk to basically everyone on the tribe. But Jared stuck out the most to me. He is playing the most aggressive game at this point which I respect. Also, forgot to mention, I trust Ali the most. 100% Ali will be my ride or die person this game. So nothing will come in between the bond we share. Jared decided to throw out Madeleines name out. And I am totally okay with this. He also subtly hinted that Michael would be a good option. But lets be real, I am not a fool and I will not make a big move this first round. This is a tribe of 10 people, not 6 like I'm used too in my prior TS I have played. It is more difficult to rally all the numbers. So this would be the exact reasoning behind my social game I am playing at the moment. I have Jared than tell me he wants to work with Ali, Benj, Himself, and I. This, I can enjoy. I don't have to struggle to protect from this alliance I knew Jared was bound to create, and I didn't have to suggest to include Ali, possibly exposing my relationship with Ali to Jared. On the other hand, I have Ian and Jason who I feel like I can trust in this game. I proposed to Ian I would not vote him out this round, and he said he would do the same for me. I tell Ian that I trusted Jared and we could possibly work with him, and that Madeleines name is being thrown out as the vote. Ian was vague with answering me about working with Jared which sussed me out. But Ian later tells me he wants to work with Jason, Himself and I. So this puts me in TWO potential alliances already in this game. Literally fuck this twist. I am glad my social skills have finally paid off and I am seriously learning from prior mistakes I have made in my orgs from being too abrasive, being too loud, being rude. I had such little self awareness of the way I communicated with people. I would talk and be this extremely social girl but I always left a bitter taste in people's mouth because of how I said things and I had no clue. So I am playing this better game and it is totally opening up new opportunities and all these people I can work with but on the other hand, puts me at a serious disadvantage. If this tribe will be an ultimate flop tribe which I am seriously hoping is NOT the case, I am going to disappoint someone. And that is how you become a target and lose all the hard work you have built up. So even though socially I am totally preforming beautifully compared to my prior three tries at TS, and strategically I wouldn't say anything about that I mean.... it's the first few days of this game. I would say competition wise, or the more physical part of the game I need to get it together. I'm hoping I can motivate this tribe into playing extremely hard for the immunity wins because who freaking knows what could happen? In the best case scenario, I would love for immunity to be brought to my tribe. This would mean that for the next round the target would probably remain the same, and I don't have to get so worked up about who is the new target of the tribe.

https://youtu.be/qsjQtYfiCec <- Video Confessional; Not letting me post

Editors note - I think I’m 80% sure my name’s not going around Bc I think everyone’s under the impression I got us the win for the flag making? Big shrug

Damn this twist has really screwed things. At this point in the game I have some strong (I think) alliances. I'm worried that I have put a target on my back for playing too hard though, and it might be all for not if we find out we won immunity.

https://youtu.be/RR4BRMFKjDU <- Another video confessional that won’t embed lol

What the fuck is this twist like okay sure, tumblr survivor is generally fucking stressful like a pig getting choked im always trying to gasp for air.....this season i am the pig on the spit roast just deceased. I'm a nocturnal pig throughout this game i guess because tribal planning starts like 6 hours ish before tribal and the last 2 hours is the most important and that would be from 4-10am so no sleep for the weak i came to win

https://youtu.be/sarbjplslHk <- Another video confessional that won’t embed

SO I think at the moment my closest allies are Tom & JJ which is a relief because I was intimidated by the two of them at first. The plan for now is to vote for David due to him being the most antisocial out of the bunch. He’s talked to me quite a bit actually but apparently he hasn’t talked to some of the others that much.

The first few days of this game has been really fun. I'm enjoying to get to know everybody, and just dicking off on tribe calls all the time. So far I've really enjoyed looking at Tom & Alex, they're definitely the tribal eye candy.

It seems as though I've gotten myself into a really cute alliance consisting of Alex, Jones, and Jules. A group I've definitely enjoyed talking to the most. I think it'll really work in my favor.

Tom is really fun to talk to, he's giving me truthful information on what planks have been good and bad in the idol search. Which is nice, but it might be a cultural thing, but I can't tell if he likes me or not!?? There's too much sarcasm in his voice.

Mo & Caeleb are really nice, they've both talked to me on a pretty shallow level so far, but I'm enjoying them a lot.

Evan, David, and Willow have been fairly MIA. Evan is on a vacation, so I'm impressed by how much he truly has been able to contribute to the tribe.

As far as the vote goes, I'm debating between Willow, and David. Alex, who I'd really like to work with, really is pushing for David to go home, but David is better at comps, and a less dangerous social player, he hasn't talked to anyone. Whereas Willow is being a social butterfly in everyone's PMs. Seeing that she made runner up in one of her seasons is also a little bit scary.

This twist is scary, but considering my last ORG, its exciting. I felt like my downfall was not being able to forge game relationships with people because I was the last person to attend tribal. Winning every tribal immunity all the way up to the final 13 / 21. Once the merge hit, every time I tried to talk strategy, the person I was talking with would run, and tattle to the person I was trying to target instead of listening to what I was saying, because they had forged game relationships at prior tribal. Being forced to go to tribal regardless of the outcome of immunity should help me solidify game relationships much easier.

I have one question for the twist. WTF DREW???

Right as we found out that both tribes had to go to tribal, Evan was immediately concerned that his name was being thrown out. The boy needs to calm, but I think our connection is really strong and honestly he's fun to talk to. Today though, most people I have been talking to have said David which is perfectly fine, he barely had talked to me at all so I am happy to be a tribe player and vote him tonight if nothing changes. I think people are starting to make connections all around. I really like Willow and have like an on and off thing with Mo and Jules. Tom is the first person to let me in on the vote, and JJ said he'd work with me and not vote me tonight, BUT Tom and JJ and Jones are always in the calls and that's making me nervous they'll have a longterm close bond that could be disastrous if it turns into a Monica, Jervase, Tyson type thing. Also I don't fully trust JJ he's good at talking to everyone. I have my eyes and ears open and I'm just trying to get as much information as I can at this point in the game.

okay I have thoughts and they are 100% NEGATIVE.

so dua lipa cave can CHOKE, i hate this twist so muchhhhh, its gonna give me an aneurysm. I just feel bad, I don't like voting people out and this makes the process so weird and awkward.

Okay like tonight, Madeline is... seemingly going home? And I'm so so sad, she is super sweet, but I think everyone was reluctant to throw out names except Jared who was super, super gung ho about Madeline leaving? Jared is stressing me out akjsldfaf, he is so forward and aggressive as a player, and I can kind of see him burning out and dragging me down with him asdfklaf.

Otherwise, I'm really liking working with Julia, she is super fun and a really savvy player, I hope our alliance can do super good long term! Otherwise, Benj is SUCH A KING, he is so friendly and fun, and we are like really on the same page for game stuff? Those are the only two who its not negotiable, on my watch they are going NOWHERE.

for the rest? I really like Jason, he is just super mellow, like I think if I had to make a winner pick for the season, I'd probably say him? I vibe with him on a personal level woo, could be an ally down the line. Michael I tbh expected to maybe be first boot, but he seems to have unexpected connections! I really like him tho, he is super sweet, its no biggie that he is staying? Mitch/Ian kind of fall into the same category, I really like them but I've not spoken to them... all that much, but I really like them!! Noah I really haven't spoken to too much, and if we do go to tribal tonight, I'd probs want him to go next (Mitch also threw his name out for this round, so it seems I'm not alone on that?).

I feel REALLY REALLY bad about Madeline JKLSADFLSAJFA, like already our tribe is being meninist we do not stan, but also she is so nice. I feel bad and kind of blame Jared for her going grrrr.

Okay I'm gonna wrap this up, hope we don't go to tribal tonight, Madeline stays and we WIN till merge WOO WOO WOOOOOO!

omg also julia is already at #46 for the idol her MIND! i hope she gets it, that'd be iconic. I feel like she must be working with someone to get that far already, maybe Jason? like the host, i need to (nancy) drew and investigate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRd_z6-ycno <- another non embeded video confessional uwu

Lol idk where this girl came from but Madeline’s a mess.

She vanished after the twist reveal because her “WiFi getting shit down” then suddenly she’s strong arming me to vote Mitch

Sweaty, compared to you I’ve actually interacted with Mitch over the course of this 4 days unlike you.

She claims she’s got Julia, Jason and Noah but I know where they’re really at. If we are going to tribal Madeline’s gone!!

okay tribal is (maybe?) in 6 minutes and I have THOUGHTS:

1. Madeline is make me so nervous, she like says things in the tribe chat and its like AHH idk how to respond, I'm being so obviously shady and its INCREDIBLY clear I voted for her, but idk what to do or say asdkjflsafafjdaf

2. Benj is a king, we are like... on the same page a lot, and someone I wanna go super far with!

3. Madeline gunning for Mitch is weird because... she is targetting him for past placements, when... Ian literally made FTC twice akjsdfslafsa like wut? Also I am screaming at her like saying Mitch isn't denying that she is going home in the tribechat, when she is voting him? I'MMMMMM

4. If I go home, it's been super super fun, and first boot is a cute placement! Benj & Jason have both been first boot before, and I love 'em both, so am joining a great club!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgF_VAczF2g <- Another non embeded video confessional

1 note · View note