#through time is my favorite thing in the whoooole world.

[huidol]

happy valentines 👍 day

[msfenriss]

Rayati, honored readers

When I was a baby lesbian in the 80s I frequented the legendary bookstore Lambda Rising, which was located in the rather upscale gayborhood of DuPont Circle in DC. My favorite part of that store was the rack of zines made by queers of all kinds for various queer niches. I picked one up called Artemis, which purported to be for women who like women who look like women. I thought “that kind of sounds like me,” and I avidly read and reread it. It was clear that the community who made this zine were UK-based, and I was a pretty miserable teenager on the east coast of the US, struggling with more than my own share of stuff, so nothing more came of it.

About 10 years later, it was the mid-90s and I was using gopher to read Usenet. I kid you not! That is how ancient I am. I confess that I was poking around a number of groups at that time that fell into the “alt.sex” category. One day there appeared a message on the femdom group about a Feminine Empire where only girls were allowed, and that I must jump through the “shimmering portal” quickly as it would close in short order. There was a URL, which was a thing of which I had only become aware within a year or so of that fateful afternoon.

The site was called Femmeworld, and it was an absolute delight! I won’t go into any detail here about that site, as several very intelligent and competent blogesses here on Tumblr have done that. I learned about blondes and brunettes, and I was struck with a bolt of revelation that I was a brunette, and that explained me! I made sense! Of course I understood that this was all within a fantasy world and that there was no such thing as an Aristasian brunette, but it revealed to me that other women had these feelings and experiences, and had thought about and discussed it enough to invent a fictional designation.

To cut to the chase, here were these women, some of whom were enby, but also female essentialist. They were anti-patriarchal, but anti-feminist. Advocates of complete state welfare (see the “colleges” that girls can choose to live in) but entirely anti-socialist, and in fact monarchical. And of course one can’t hear about “blondes and brunettes” without immediately detecting at least a bit of racism. When questioned about that, they always insisted that in lands where girls were dark-skinned, the blondes simply had hair of silver or white, and honestly it’s a trivial point, and could I please drop the subject?

I won’t go into an extensive discussion of the implications here, but I am sensitive to them. I was raised in an actively anti-racist white family. I always strive to be aware of racism and white supremacy wherever I go in the real world and the virtual. I can only tell you that because all of my interactions were virtual, it would be hard for me to absolve the Aristasians of any such allegations, but I can say that the welcoming, vulnerable, friendly nature of these ladies suggests that hate of any kind would be quite alien to them. There were a couple of girls in Second Life whose avatars appeared to be Black, and they were accepted with as much joy and enthusiasm as all other girls present. More than that I can’t say.

For another 10 years, I popped in and out of Aristasian spaces. I contributed to forums, and even took part for a short time in an online schoolgirl RP by email. Some time in the mid aughts, it was announced that an Aristasian Embassy would be established in the virtual world of Second Life. I immediately started an SL account so I could go there (and how I spent the next 15 or so years in SL is a whoooole other narrative that isn’t particularly relevant.) I attended a couple of balls at the Embassy, and was very graciously complimented on my gown. I was present for Operation Bridgehead, but was privy to very little inside information about the disagreements that ensued. If I knew anything about that, I would not share it here. Despite any philosophical differences with these ladies, I have great respect and affection for them, and would be unwilling to air their dirty laundry, so to speak.

I was privileged to get to know Sushuri Madonna, who was at that time the undisputed leader, at least of the contingent that could be found in SL. She was entirely delightful, intelligent, and kind, and had an extremely delicate nature. Despite my best efforts not to offend, I am sure my most carefully curated speech had to seem terribly coarse to her. We exchanged some email, and she was kind enough to offer editorial assistance with a few bits of Aristasian fiction I was toying with. What little I learned about her personally, I will of course not disclose, but I felt that we were friends, and I cared for her very much. I hope she is still alive and well, and that the demise of the persona called Cure Dolly does not indicate her real life death.

Thank you for reading, and I would very much welcome discussion on the topic from anyone interested.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #150

What kind of movies are you drawn to? Horror for sure, and I also like those with complex fantasy worlds. Well-written, interesting stories are what I care about most, though. Wholesome stuff is also excellent, like I'll always be a Disney and Pixar fan.

What breakfast are you most likely to have? I tend to go through phases where it's almost always cereal or a meal replacement shake.

What career field could you see yourself in? Something involving artistic expression.

What section do you drift toward at bookstores? Young adult fantasy stuff.

Do you like fried chicken? I actually hate it.

Do you think your parents are proud of you and what you do with your life? Mom tells me she's proud of me for how hard I fight and try to improve, but I feel like a disappointment regardless. I don't know how Dad feels.

Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad and his wife do.

Do you enjoy classic rock? I definitely do.

How do you discover new music? Primarily YouTube recommendations, but also Girt.

List three things that you love about your favorite season. The variety of leaf colors, the temperature, Halloween and its whole aesthetic.

Zombies or unicorns? Unicorns. :')

Candy corn or conversation hearts? omg I absolutely hate both, but candy corn is still worse imo, it's fucking wax

Brownies or cookies? Brownies, generally, but there are times I'd prefer cookies.

What are three of the most disgusting foods, in your opinion? Balut, escargot, clams.

Have you ever had a migraine? UGH yes, it's a fucking miserable experience and I'm VERY grateful they are extremely rare for me.

What’s one medication that you take every day? I take a whoooole lot more, but Wellbutrin is one.

Who was your third grade teacher? Her name was Mrs. Britt.

What’s the weather like today where you live? It's rainy all day on-and-off, and it's quite chilly for this time of year (65*F).

What is one thing you like that a lot of people don’t? Vulture culture, which is basically the use of naturally deceased animals and their parts for artistic creation. I do think it can be done distastefully, but there are breathtaking VC pieces created with much love from the artist.

What is one thing that everyone else seems to like that you don’t? Television. I've started liking it more when I'm watching stuff with Girt, but in general, it really doesn't interest me.

When was the last time you went swimming? Recently, because I did some aqua therapy at PT versus always on land.

Do you have other identities/words you relate to/associate with but don't necessarily identify as? I guess somewhat nonbinary, like gender just means nothing to me personally and I'm definitely a mix of both the traditionally feminine and masculine, but I'm perfectly fine with being a woman to myself and others, I have no interest in transitioning.

How do you want to be perceived as, aesthetically/socially? (i.e dainty, mature, strong, child-like, ethereal, etc.) Uh, strong is definitely one. I'd like to be less skittish and jumpy, and able to stay calm in tough situations. I always want to be seen as a caring person.

Does your partner share your orientation? (Do they identify the same as you?) No, I'm pan and he's straight. We're both cis, though.

When was the last time you experienced a pleasant surprise? Girt showed up with flowers when he came over last as a congrats on finishing physical therapy. <3 I had no idea, but it was really sweet.

When was the last time you were in any amount of pain? This is super super minor for now, but I'm definitely feeling my period incoming because of cramps.

What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed inside? How about outside? Hell, weeks. Maybe even around a month. Outside, I'm really not sure, but probably sometime as a kid.

Who was the last person to hug you? Do you hug this person often? Girt, and yes, every time I see him.

What was the last show you watched? Have you seen it before, or is it something you’re watching for the first time? Girt and I finished watching Dark the other day; we watched all three seasons so it definitely wasn't the first time haha.

Do you enjoy Jim Carrey movies? I do, he's a really funny guy imo with fantastic and very recognizable acting skills, and from what I've heard he's a hell of a good guy too.

Do you remember what the last kind of gum was that you had? Not really, but I thiiiink some mint thing.

Do you enjoy watching shows about survival? Why/why not? They can be interesting; my mom likes watching Naked and Afraid a lot, and while you can learn some cool things, for me personally I've always found these kinds of challenge shows pointless just because of how miserable the contestants always end up. Like the psychological and physical toll you take just to say "yeah I survived in the jungle for a month despite not actually needing to" is SOOOOOO not worth it imo.

Do you have any nicknames for your significant other? Well "Girt" is already a nickname, it's just how I've always known him. He gets the usual partner petnames as well.

Have you ever set up your best friend with someone? Yes and then we flirted behind her back and he eventually broke up with her because he wanted to be with me despite not even ACTUALLY knowing each other christ I would kick 12 y/o Brittany off a fucking mountain lmfao

What’s the worst car accident you or a friend has ever gotten into? I'm not sure. Seeing the picture of my little sister's old car when she got in a wreck with a fucking 18-wheeler makes me want to say that, like the car was entirely totaled, but Nicole - thank fucking god - came out with only seatbelt bruises/scars and I think a headache and general body soreness. You would NOT have expected her to come out even alive; that was a super fucking scary day, I can still hear in my head my mom sobbing on the phone with Ashley finding out where she was and straight bulleting for the hospital. It took her a LONG time to stop crying, long after seeing that Nicole was fine. I don't think I have ever in my life seen my mom that scared and upset.

Has one of your exes ever been the cause of a breakup between you and a boyfriend? No.

What’s something that has made you realize just how much you care and love someone else? When I went into the hospital last March, I was once again freaking out over if I liked Girt in a truly romantic way, but let me tell you, the night he called me while I was there just to talk to me like I was a normal person that he cared to speak to, I fucking knew I loved him, like it was the flip of a switch. Even the staff, who knew me as the gravely depressed patient, could tell how different I was after that. I think the reason it worked that way was I just remembered calling Jason at the hospital right after the breakup when I needed to get stuff from his place, and he was just so "I don't want to be speaking to you whatsoever" and it cut me so deep, deeper than I realized until this phone call from Girt, because it was as if that suddenly healed the wound and shoved in my face, "See? This is how someone is supposed to love you." He called me almost every day while I was there, making time for me even on his work days, and it was always the highlight of that day. This guy just never gives up on me and I owe him so much for that.

What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? My sweet Teddy boy.

What’s the longest you’ve gone without talking to someone when you were mad? A few days.

How long does it take you to normally take a shower? Somewhere around ten minutes. I've never understood how long some people can regularly stay in the shower, like I'm getting clean and getting out.

Have you ever burned incense before? Yes, I like doing that.

Ever been on a picnic? No, but I really want to one day as a date with Girt, once doing so is reasonable with my legs. He was all for it when I brought it up and it made me so happy lol

Do you live with your parents? Only my mom.

What do you call them? Mom/Mama/Ma and Dad/Daddy.

Do you know one of your best friend's major secrets? I actually don't know just how much of a secret it is to his family, but I do know something he certainly doesn't openly share or brag about.

What does your best friend look like? He's tall, slim, pale Caucasian with naturally black wavy/curly-ish short hair but it's graying early like his dad (he hates it, a lot), brown eyes, and he wears pretty normal glasses.

Describe their personality in 3 words: Loyal, reclusive, and funny.

Are you weary of displaying signs of affection for your significant other around adults? Why or why not? Not at all, but also we are adults. I just don't think showing love for someone should be something you should be ashamed of.

Have you ever had red velvet cake or carrot cake? Have you ever made either of those? I enjoy both, but red velvet cake is absolutely on top. I don't bake or even just cook.

If you could see any band/musician in concert, dead or alive, who would you see? Rammstein; not only because they're my favorite, but because their concerts are legendary for how fun and impressive they are.

Are the members of your favorite band still alive? I'm stunned Ozzy is still alive lol, immensely grateful for that, but still. I know he's had at least one bandmate in his solo career to die, former guitarist Randy Rhoads, but I'm not sure about others. Rammstein's lineup is still what it's always been since they started in the 90s.

Who is your favorite rapper? Eminem is the only rapper I know of whose music isn't unordinary for me to like when I hear it.

Favorite country singer/band? Tim McGraw, probably. I do love Carrie Underwood's voice, though.

Favorite female solo vocalist? Honestly not sure, I'd have to think for a while and I don't feel like it.

Favorite male solo vocalist? Again, not so sure on the solo part, so I guess Ozzy by default. His voice is entirely recognizable, like you're not gonna mistake him for someone else, so that makes him stand out, but he's not my favorite voice ever from an audibly pleasing perspective.

Favorite female-headed band? Otep.

Favorite male-headed band? Rammstein.

Who was your favorite musician when you were a kid? Backstreet Boys were first, then Jesse McCartney.

If you had to get a tattoo based off of a movie, what would you get? I actually want a Simba tattoo one day, y'know, the art Rafiki does of him on rock with the addition of his mane and the quote "remember who you are" on it, and I'm even very into the idea of a "hakuna matata" tattoo as someone with such severe anxiety.

What book series do you like? Wings of Fire by Tui T. Sutherland is my reading thing now.

Name one biography you’ve read? I read Ozzy's autobiography as a teen.

Do you have any reading disabilities? No, thankfully.

Who are your favorite artists? I have many, I adore Emil Melmoth's sculpture work, Mothmeister's pictures, Anastasiya Dobrovolskaya is my favorite photographer, and for actual drawings/paintings, I fucking love NukeRooster, Puffygator, Maquenda, Sandara, and Culpeo-Fox, all their social account names bc I don't know personal names.

What is your favorite period of art? I don't really have one.

Do you prefer classic art or modern art better? Both can be fantastic, I don't have a strong preference. I WILL say that I very much enjoy the sheer physicality of classic work, no tablets or fancy Photoshop brushes, etc.

Do you have any art or prints of famous artworks on your walls? No famous work, no.

If you are good, or were good, what kind of things do you/do you think you would paint? Primarily meerkats of course, probably mostly OCs in various RP scenes or just incorporated into cool concepts. I would love to be able to do this, well.

Do you consider architecture an art? OF COURSE, you can't ask an art history student this question and expect them to say no, architecture is some of the earliest and most grand forms of art.

Are you good at photography? I sure hope so seeing as I'm trying to build a career off of it. I do genuinely think I'm better than average at it, but I've still got skills to hone in and also further train my artistic eye from a technical perspective.

Do you know anyone who has ODed or died while high? Well, I didn't know him, but I know of him and care very much about it because this person was Girt's nephew's father. It's an absolutely heart-rending story.

Is weed really the gateway drug? It can be, yes; I know people who started with weed and went worse, so you can't convince me it never is.

Who are your closest friends right now? Besides my boyfriend, Mazzy and Tez.

Have you ever become legit friends with someone you met at work? No.

[dateko]

Satoru thinks you are the most eccentric and original person he has ever met. 

He finds something new to love about you every day. He loves the face you make when he teases you or when he compliments you after using one of his cheesy pickup lines. He can’t deny the way he overflows with endearment whenever you laugh or when you remember something he thought was kind of trivial. You always seem to know when he’s not at his best. Of course, with an ego as large as his, he would never tell you. But it’s telling when Satoru hugs you as soon as you get home, causing you to drop the bag of his favorite mochi you picked up after work. He thinks that he loves every version and every season of you. There is not a day that goes by where the two of you don’t say I love you. You tell him you love him when you wait up for him on a restless night just to watch a show he had been talking about. The entire show is rewatched the next day because Satoru can’t keep his eyes off of you. 

You look away from the screen, “Well, you look like you have something to say.”

“Can I not look at how beautiful you are?”

“No, actually. We’re finishing this entire season tonight and then going to bed.” You bite back a giggle, waving your hand in front of his face. “And besides, I’m off limits. See? I'm married.”

Satoru jumps from his seat on the couch, pausing the show and grabs your hand. “Who is he?” He looks down at the ring on your finger and back to your smiling face and back at your ring with furrowed brows. You can’t help but laugh at the exchange between the two of you despite how exhausted you both have been lately. You tug his hand slowly and guide him towards you, still giggling at the expression on his face. He sinks into your arms with a sigh and you unpause the screen. “He’s someone I love a lot. Like, a whoooole lot.”

He knows you don’t even know this, but sometimes you talk in your sleep and between all the gibberish, he hears his name squeezed in there. Referred to as Gojo his entire life, he thinks that whenever you call him Satoru, you’ve created world peace. When he wakes up at the crack of dawn for a mission, you’re quick to pull on the back of his shirt, asking for five minutes more. He gives you a generous sixty instead, not caring if Yaga will get on him for being late later. None of that matters when he slides back beneath the covers beside you and you’re too sleepy to protest his limitless peppering kisses. You let out a sigh against him and he finds himself in the crook of your neck. “Hey you thief, I can tell you’ve been using my soap. You smell just like it.” Groaning into his chest, you hug him a little tighter. “Can’t you tell that I miss you? Stop leaving me all the time.”

Satoru thinks you once tried to tell him what your favorite kisses were, but he no longer remembers. For him, he loves the kind that makes him chase after you. The ones from your balcony, where even when he traps you between his long arms as you laugh when against his lips trying to deflect them. When he kisses you, you never let him linger. The kind of kisses through a car window are the ones he loves the most. It makes him miss you immediately, but he honestly just enjoys the look on Ijichi’s face when you can’t seem to let go yet and the kiss ends up being longer than expected. He likes the ones when you lean over his desk and tease him, trying to get him to chase after your lips. And sometimes, Satoru secretly likes the ones where everyone is looking. He especially likes the kind when you whisper for him to kiss you beneath the soft moonlight, only to return it with a stronger one. Despite him being the strongest and all. 

He knows he could go on forever and ever about everything he loves about you because lately, he feels like someone in love.

note: omg that was so embarrassing but that was quite literally the first thing in my drafts and i’m abt to clear all of these bad boys out wooooo

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #528

“love becomes a symptom of the cure”

Have you ever given your number to a stranger because they were cute? Hell no. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? Yes; I know I can tell Girt anything if he asks, but I'm still pretty shy and private about some things. What was the highlight of your week? The nurse I really liked at the hospital told me before knowing about my social anxiety that I was outgoing; she barely believed it when I told her. It was really, really reassuring that I seemed less awkward than I always feel. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about the future? Uncertainty and fear. What's your favorite band that starts with a "T?" Um, I'm actually not sure. Who do you go to the most for advice? Or who do you give advice to the most? Mom, usually. Or Sara. I suppose I give most advice to Sara; people don't often come to me for that. Have you ever witnessed a car accident? I've come VERY close. I nearly fucking pissed myself the morning Mom and I were on the highway and an 18-wheeler came SO close to tipping over. Like, the right wheels were off the ground. I don't know HOW it stayed up, with how relatively high the wheels were. And hm... I think I may have witnessed a more mild accident once? I seem to remember another time on the highway something happening, and as a witness Mom should have stopped, but she didn't have room to. Would you go to a monster truck show or a rodeo show? I wouldn't fucking TOUCH the grounds of a rodeo. It's goddamn animal abuse. I have zero interest in monster truck shows, either, but at least it's not abusive to anything. The only instance I could even imagine going is if my nephew Ryder asked me to go for whatever reason; he is obsessed with them and has a massive collection of toy ones. He even knows all their names, and he's only five. What are you most uncomfortable with talking about around your peers? With EVERYONE I'm unbelievably uncomfortable talking about my RP hobby. So few people know; literally just obviously my RP buds (and I'm pretty open about it online), my mom, like two former therapists, and I believe that's literally it. I've recently realized I'd be somewhat comfortable telling Girt, like I know there would be zero judgment (hell, he'd probably think it's cool), but I don't plan on just telling him at random. It would have to be a very relevant conversation. Have you ever been to a meadow? omGGGGGGGGG I wish. I adore meadows. Have you ever had to have surgery? Twice: to put tubes in my ears as a child, and quite a number of years ago I had an infected pilonidal cyst removed. I'm kinda worried I'll have to have a mild one at some point in the soon-ish future; I have a kinda suspicious mole that recently developed on my leg and I'm pretty sure it's grown a little bit, which I'm definitely getting checked out if I'm certain it's developing further. What are a favorite pair of shoes that you own? Probably my black Vans with white shoelaces. They're comfy, plus I like Vans. Have you ever went through someone's stuff and found something bizarre? Okay, SO. When we were moving into this house and cleaning stuff out (we had to ourselves because the previous owner died, not moved), we found fucking ASHES in one of the drawers. We just went silent and gaped because it was totally unexpected, and we had zero clue whose they were. I'm not sure what Mom and Tobey did with 'em. Have you ever known someone who thought the world revolved around them? BOY, HAVE I. Have you ever driven a tractor or operated a lawn mower? No. What is your favorite flavor Cheese-its? The regular ones. How do you personally think the world will end? Either by a meteor, gamma ray, or black hole. What were you really fascinated with as a child? Without a shadow of a doubt, dinosaurs. My first obsession. Like, I was still pretty young when I watched bloody movies like Jurassic Park (the third I watched a whoooole lot), and I had quite a few dino-oriented PS1 and computer games, mostly which were educational. I was so into learning about them, and some of my main toys were dinosaurs. I've mentioned plenty that my first career goal was to be a paleontologist; I still wish I was in better shape, could handle the heat, and was okay with heavy traveling, because goddamn would it be awesome to achieve my childhood dream. Would you visit Yellowstone Park? Also an absolute dream. A goal, even, because I'm determined to spread Teddy's ashes there, to rest among his heritage as a little wolf.. Just as well, with me wanting to be a wildlife and nature photographer, I could probably spend weeeeeeeeks there. But, of course, I need to improve my physical state to be able to endure it. What do you watch on television the most? Whatever catches mine and Girt's attention, really. It's usually anime. Who is the worst person in your life? Well, I wouldn't say he's a big part of my life, but he's still there. It would be my older sister's husband. There's just a whole lot about him I don't like. He treats Ashley fine, and he adores their children, it's mostly just his beliefs that drive me bonkers. What is something you would never get rid of? There are many things, but I'll give ya one thing that comes to mind quickly: my pebble from my partial hospitalization, when I "graduated." The idea behind it is that rocks must go through intense pressure and strain to become a pebble, something shiny and beautiful. The same can be said for the struggles of life. What are your favorite colors? Baby pink is my favorite, but I also love maroon, burgundy, and lots of shades of pink/purple. Do you use listerine? No. What is your favorite cartoon? Pokemon will always have my heart. Do you wear your significant other’s clothes? No; I'm pretty sure they'd be too small for me, but I'm not totally sure. Girt's very tall and also slim, but is broad, plus he likes looser-fitting shirts. Now I kinda wanna try, ha ha. Green or blue eyes? Ugggghhhh, both. I LOVE emerald green and saphire or very light blue eyes. Who are your favorite bands? Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica, Marilyn Manson, Otep, Motionless in White, Korn, In This Moment, Rammstein, Powerwolf, Cradle of Filth... so many, dude. When did you last go out of state? Last summer for a get-together with the family. Ash's family goes on vacation to Lake Gaston in Virginia quite a lot, and we came to visit for a day. Do you have a wild side? Yeah, no. What is your favorite thing about going to your grandmas house? My grandmothers are dead. I don't remember my dad's at all, and I didn't like my mom's mom. Do you like NASCAR? Not at all. It's so boring. That is one of Ryder's obsessions though, so at Ash's place, it's on semi-frequently. Along with his monster truck collection, he also has a massive race car one. When is the last time you wore a dress? Not since Ashley's wedding many years ago, I think. Who is the hottest person alive? Um, Mark Fischbach, duh. Last person you yelled at? I yelled at nobody in particular today at the hospital. There was a guy named Cody there, and I swear the fuck to god he gave all us girls the MASSIVE creeps. The male and female wings are separated, but this motherfucker loved walking into our area and just walking down the hall, despite the nurses telling him five thousand times to stay on his side. So this morning, this dick came into the room and just straight-up asked the girl that came in last night for her number and address. She rightfully exploded. The nurses got him out, but not too long after, this fucking filth heads back to our wing. I'm standing at the window by the door to ask the nurses something, and I finally snapped. I turned, looked him dead in the eye, and very firmly told him, "You know you have no business being on this side." He just stares at me, and honest to god I feared for my life or being assaulted, but I couldn't take anymore after the stress of the morning. One of the nurses confronted this shitlord, and he straight-up says like sarcastic trash, "I don't know what a female is." He lingered in the hallway, and I said fuck the goddamn window and went back inside, yelling in distress, "He creeps me the fuck out, he has no goddamn business being on this side" or something along those lines, and a nurse had to calm me down so I wasn't given an anxiety medication and kept for two more hours, because I was just about to be discharged. I swear this guy was the most rapey motherfucker I've ever come across. He shouldn't have even been there with other people. He was goddamn dangerous, and all us girls knew it. Have you had a good cry lately? Y'all have zero idea how much I sobbed at the hospital, especially the first few days. Is there anything else that happens on your birthday? Nope. Who is in your display pic? Well, me. Who did you last have an alcoholic drink with? I drank very little of a margarita from a Mexican restaurant when my sister Katie visited. It was too strong for my taste. Do you know anyone named Caleb? Yes, actually. He's a singer or rapper, I'm not sure. Never actually listened to his music. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? Mom, last night. What is a field of study that is of your interest? To give a less obvious answer if you read these, psychology. I was really into it when I had my college course, and I plan on taking it again when I go back. I'm not gonna pursue anything in the subject, but I'm just real interested. Plus, it's a credit. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? There was an occasion when our neighbor's rottweilers got loose and tried killing every single one of our cats; Chance, our brave, wonderful, first cat, viciously defended her kittens, and actually scared this dog off, but nevertheless, one of the older kittens from another litter was killed by one of the dogs, and I was close to this one. I cried so much. I was only a kid, and it was so abrupt and just... scary. It took a long time to get over, but I mean, I eventually had to move past it. Who do you spend most of your time with? Well, I live with my mom, but we're pretty much always not in the same room. I truly hang out with Girt the most. do you have a favorite classical composer? Nah. Where is the farthest you have traveled? Illinois. What type of art would you hang up in your room? If we're talking art, not posters, dark and macabre stuff. What is your current desktop picture? It's one of my favorite pictures of Teddy. I don't think it ever won't be him, honestly. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? To be totally real, I don't think so. I mean maybe, but absolutely not if they were real intense about it. I have a strong opinion on religions, so. Ever gotten stuff in your eye that was very harmful for your eyes? No. What do you usually order when you go to Wendy's? Son of the Baconator. Ever seen a zebra? Yes, at the zoo! One of them was being super goofy, rolling around in the grass. Have you ever seen a live turkey? BRO. Two houses ago, super close to Thanksgiving, there was a MASSIVE male turkey wandering around near our house. It was cool, but also very strange, and the timing was funny.

[dawninlatin]

‘tis the damn season, chapter 1

A belated gift for @ladywitchling​ <3 Merry Christmas my love, hope you appreciate this as much as I appreciate you!<3

Words: 1728

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Manon prepares to spend Christmas alone. Little does she know Elide has other plans...

«Are you sure you’re fine with being alone on Christmas?»

Manon couldn’t help but sigh, hoping that Asterin wouldn’t hear it through the phone. She appreciated her cousin’s worrying, but calling four times a day to check in was a bit excessive.

«Yes, Asterin.» She twisted in her office chair, opening her laptop. «It’s not as if we ever did anything special for Christmas anyway.» Manon glanced at the clock, then at the amount of unopened emails. It would be a while before she was done for the day, but she didn’t mind. No one was waiting for her.

Elide had left this morning to spend the holiday with her family, and without the presence of her cheery girlfriend, Manon didn’t really see the point of celebrating Christmas. She had received an invitation to join Asterin, but she had a family of her own now. Manon would only feel like an intruder the whole night.

As if she’d read Manon’s mind, Asterin said from the other end of the line, «Not doing much for Christmas isn’t the same as being alone.»

«I know that, but-»

Before she find a way finish that sentence, Asterin interrupted her again. «Can’t Elide-»

«Elide has already left to celebrate with her family, as she should.» Manon tried to ignore the sound of defeat in her voice as she yet again was reminded of how empty their apartment would be. Maybe that was why she’d decided to work overtime on Christmas Eve.

Saying goodbye to her girlfriend earlier today had been torture, and all Manon had wanted was to pull Elide into a tight embrace and spend all of Christmas cozied up in bed, just the two of them.

She didn’t though. Instead she put on a brave smile and held back her tears as her favorite person walked out the door.

Rolling her eyes at her own dramatics, Manon said to Asterin, «Christmas is overrated anyway. And I mean it when I say I don’t mind being alone.»

Liar. Dirty, filthy liar.

«Okay,» Asterin sighed at last, obviously spotting the lie, but playing along nonetheless. «You’re probably happy to finally have some peace and quiet.»

«Damn right I am,» Manon smiled, her heart once again filling up with love for her cousin. Before Elide, Asterin had been the only person Manon had. The two cousins had been raised by the same cruel grandmother, and it had made them inseparable, always looking after one another.

«I’ll leave you to it then. I need to take a long nap before I can do anything else. Willow kept us up all night.» Asterin yawned, and Manon chuckled slightly at the sound of her tired cousin. Being the mother of a one-year-old wasn’t easy. Especially not when that one-year-old was also the daughter of Fenrys Moonbeam.

Speaking of the devil… «You still talking to The Grinch?»

Manon tipped her head back and laughed as Fenrys’ voice filled her ear. The nickname was one he’d lovingly began to call her after she’d voiced her aversion for the bright and merry season.

«Hello to you too, Fenrys.»

«Wait a moment,» Asterin suddenly said. «I’m turning on the FaceTime camera.»

Manon could hear some shuffling coming from the phone she’d pulled away from her ear, and then the small family filled her screen. She smiled warmly at the sight of a very tired Willow, who looked like she’d just been woken up from a nap of her own by the way her soft curls stood in every direction and how she clung to her father.

«Hey Willow,» Manon cooed, and the little girl’s face lit up at the sight of her auntie.

She babbled some nonsense, and Asterin handed her the phone, which she immediately put in her mouth.

«No!» Asterin was quick to steal the phone back, but the glare Willow gave her had Manon laughing again.

«Alright, it looks like someone is hungry, so I’ll hang up now.» Manon waved at her niece. «Bye, Willow!»

«Can you say bye to auntie Manon?» Even after a year, she still filled with pride whenever anyone called her that, and as Willow waved enthusiastically, Manon forgot all sadness from earlier.

Pressing a kiss to his wife’s cheek, Fenrys took Willow and left the frame. «Let’s go and feed The Kraken!»

«Fenrys!» Asterin called after him, but she was grinning.

«Merry Christmas, Asterin,» Manon said softly, ready to turn her attention back to her work.

«Merry Christmas, Manon. I love you.»

«I love you too,» she replied, and hung up.

Manon debated calling Elide as well, while she was at it, but it was getting dark outside, so she decided it was best to just finish for the day and go home to suffer through Christmas alone.

-

Three hours later, Manon was finally finished with her workload. There was only one last thing to do…

Groaning as she got up from her desk, Manon made her way towards the office of the only other person grumpy and joyless enough to spend the holiday at work.

If Manon was the Grinch, Lorcan Salvaterre had to be something far, far worse.

She knocked on his door, and he responded with an annoyed «What do you want.»

Stepping into his office, Manon scowled at the sight of her least favorite person in the world. She really didn’t have the patience to deal with this today.

«I’m done for the day, so I just wanted to check if you got the files I sent you,» Manon stated, examining her nails with a bored look on her face.

Lorcan’s signature frown entered his face as he checked his email, then looked back too Manon. «Yeah, so you can leave now. I wanna work in peace.»

«Too bad I came here to chit-chat then, since you’re like, my favorite person in the whoooole world,» Manon deadpanned, turning on her heel so she didn’t have to stay a minute more in his miserable presence.

Manon and Lorcan saw each other an awful lot for basically being archenemies. It wasn’t enough that they worked together. No, two years back, Elide had been taking her to a party so she could finally meet her friends, and none other than Lorcan fucking Salvaterre had greeted them, his smile quickly shifting to a scowl as Manon had muttered a not-so-quiet you’ve got to be kidding me.

Thinking about the memory, she stopped in the doorway, her longing from earlier having returned at full force. A small smile played on her lips as she looked over her shoulder. «Have a shitty Christmas, Salvaterre.»

Lorcan let out a small chuckle. «You too, Blackbeak.»

-

Sitting on the train, Manon suddenly began to regret not decorating the apartment. It felt wrong to know that she was on her way to an empty apartment, as ordinary-looking as always, when she was surrounded by so many people dressed in finery, on their way to see friends and family, twinkling lights passing in a blur.

A wave of sadness rushed through her. She would have given anything to have Elide by her side right now, holding her hand, talking about her day, smiling, laughing, just being there.

Actual tears burned behind her eyes then, and Manon silently cursed Christmas for making her so emotional. She never cried! And now she was being all sappy because she’d been away from her girlfriend for a grand total of ten hours. What was wrong with her?

Her phone chimed in her purse, interrupting her sad music video moment, and when Manon saw who had texted her, she had to fight even harder to hold back the tears.

Elide<3: You on your way home yet?<3

Manon: On the train now

She thought for a second, before sending another message.

Manon: Thinking of you<3

Elide<3: Thinking of you too, can’t wait to see you again<3<3

Had her younger self seen this, she would have snorted at the sappy words and heart emojis, but there was no denying it, no one could resist the charm of Elide Lochan.

Looking up once more, Manon saw that it had started to snow, the world already covered by a white blanket.

Next year she would accept Asterin’s invitation, Manon promised herself.

-

Standing before her door, Manon spent longer than necessary fumbling for her keys. Maybe some part of her didn’t want to enter the empty apartment, she was mature enough to admit that.

Because whether she wanted to acknowledge it or not, it was Christmas, and she was sad because Elide wasn’t there, and her home wasn’t decorated and her dinner was a miserable plate of yesterday’s leftovers and her only plan was to watch a movie, alone.

Manon let out a sigh as she let her head hit the door, needing a moment to gather herself. «it’s your own fault for trying to be so fucking independent and untouchable the whole time,» she whispered.

She gave herself one more second to brood, then she twisted the key and eased the door open.

A few steps into the hallway, Manon stopped short, a confused look on her face. She’d turned off the lights this morning, hadn’t she? And was that…?

It was music, the soft tones of some Christmas song, coming from the kitchen.

Looking around, there were even a few decorations put up, a mistletoe hanging over the entrance to the living room.

«Hello?» Manon called, not letting herself really think about who this had to be. Not letting that kind of hope come to life.

Heart pounding in her chest, she stepped into the living room, and could do nothing but gasp in awe as she took in her surroundings. A Christmas tree stood in the corner, the room lit up by its softly glowing lights, and everywhere there were little trinkets and other decorations. On the mantel of the fireplace was a picture of her and Elide that hadn’t been there before. It was from last week, Manon recognized, when they’d been at the Christmas market, and on the frame were the words: Make the yuletide gay. A bubbling laugh escaped her, and she couldn’t hold the tears back this time.

A voice sounded from the kitchen, and Manon turned around, only to be met by a pair of shining eyes and a bright smile.

«Merry Christmas, my love.»

Taglist: @ireallyshouldsleeprn​ @ladywitchling​

I keep a separate taglist for every ship, so let me know if you want to be added to any of them!

[raging-violets]

1-10 for Cade!

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?

Her name. I had been watching a lot of different shows at the time as well as looking for a name and saw Cadence and realized how much I loved the name. (Okay, I got it from Teen Mom as that’s Bentley’s middle name) and then I love Degrassi and Ellie Nash was one of my favorite characters and Nash stuck as a last name.

2. Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

In terms of canon I legitimately created her for two reasons; Barry and Caitlin. Barry to ultimately ship her with (though I also considered Roy as you’d know from reading Flash Fire) and Caitlin to have a best friend. In terms of OCs, I made her along with Rhu making Averey and @ceruleanmusings making Sage so that we could ultimately have them crossover and have a Cadeverage (their ot3 name) universe. Which we’ll eventually work on, lol.

3. How did you choose their name?

See number 1.

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

Metropolis? One of the richest cities in the world? A whole lot? A WHOOOOLE lot! The point that she’s still considered spoiled and will be the first to admit that she was spoiled and that she, in turn, spoils Brady. It’s helped make her very blase about any price tag on things she or other people may want to buy, though she’s also been very poor so it’s a hard guilt hurdle for her to jump through sometimes. And being a meta? She’s seen news articles about “meteor freaks” and “a Batman” since she was young, so the idea of being a meta wasn’t new to her. But being a meta, especially when so young...it’s greatly affected her as well.

5. Is there any significance behind their hair color?

…Yes, actually. And it doesn’t really come into play until the Crisis on Earth-x Crossover. (SPOILERS!). Cadence is a brunette, Ryder is a blonde, Brady was a blonde baby, but his hair slowly started to turn brown. He’s considered ‘perfect’ by the Earth-X Nazis. I know, it doesn’t really have to do with her, than it does Brady, but here you go. Otherwise, it was just because it’s her FC’s hair color.

6. Is there any significance behind their eye color? 

Yep, a mixture of Harrison’s and Tess’s. To truly signify that she’s not actually related to her parents. Cadence always knew she was adopted, but never knew who her birth parents were until it was revealed to her.

7. Is there any significance behind their height?

Yep! She’s pretty short because she’s always been in gymnastics and cheerleading and dance, mostly cheerleading as she got older. She’s consistnetly worked her body to the edge and even harder and it affects her height.

8. What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

Feeling that I don’t always have control of my own life is a part that I relate to with Cadence. She didn’t have control of her life for a while and sometimes I feel like I don’t. Not that someone makes decisions for me, they really do not. But within the place that I work, I feel that a lot is being put on me without me being able to control any of what is put on me. It gets tiring.

9. Are they based off of you, in some way?

All my OCs are based off me in some way, but Cadence has more of my outgoing and teasing personality and love of sushi. And, just about any of my OCs that have powers attached are going to have some sort of element of fire because it’s my favorite type of power, and Cade completely embodies that.

10. If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person?

None, actually. This is where Opposites Attract as a trope really comes into play. Because Cadence and Barry are total opposites. They even communicate and make decisions differently, which is something that they struggle with as much as their opposite personalities work together. This is one of my ships that legitimately just flows as I write.

[mister-maiden]

Terraria

I have...HUNDREDS of hours on this thing. It’s a sinkhole of time which I have poured life into. I just...UGHNNNN Man. This is my JAM. I can’t tell you how much I LOVE this game.

You begin with copper tools. Typical pickaxe, axe, sword. You have a single guide who helps you out with some little tips and tricks as well as acting as a crafting book you can consult with to find out what you can craft with the items. It’s so simple yet invites much innovation. The goal? Craft. Survive. Create your home and make your mark in this giant map called Terraria...I bet you’ll say “BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE MINECRAFT”...Well you’d be right.

Lets examine that for a moment. Games as a whole can come from one another. Shooter games using previous shooter game ideas, puzzles with puzzles, and more. At the time of Terraria becoming popular, Minecraft hit its boom and brought along the age of the popularity of what is known as the three deadly sins of gaming now.

Open World

Crafting

Survival. 

AKA: OCS. 

(May be missing a sin). This brought along a WHOOOOLE shabang of games that tried to capitalize on the whole OCS scene and brought along thousands of failures...But what it did bring was the proper tools and knowledge to developers to understand what consumers truly want. We always build off of our previous innovations to improve and make something new. Terraria was such a game. It gets tiring hearing about how it’s just a minecraft clone. Then I suppose every game is a copy of the original aye? Call of Duty with previous shooter installments, Portal with Tetris, Peggle with Pong...I’m taking liberties here, so please humor me. 

The core point I want to get to with that is that yes, it definitely came along because of Minecraft’s popularity, but in no means is it a Minecraft clone. 

The gameplay is simple as all hell and I love it. Using your pickaxe, you can destroy blocks in the world and set them somewhere else or use proper tools like anvils and crafting benches to change them into something else. Making cool innovative houses (or square wooden houses as I always have), you’ll find your base growing with every new room. And what’s having a large abbundance of room without having even MORE NPCs?

This game gives you tons of characters that basically act as shop keepers. We have a dwarf that sells explosives once you nab atleast one bomb from the world. A general merchant who comes after you carry 50 silver. A gunsman who comes...well, when you get a gun. There are up to 25 NPCs that can live with you in your base as long as you create the proper rooms for them which contain light, a table, and chairs. 

The amount of customization in building is wonderful for someone like me who can’t control himself and continues to try and build. Painting tools, different substances, and more allow you to create grand structures, humble villages, or majestic tree houses for your NPCs and yourself to live in. 

Combat is pretty simple point and click, with thousands of weapons to choose from. Pretty similar options lay amongst them, but several are completely unique. A staff that shoots mini monsters, a gun that shoots pumpkin bombs, a sword that fires more swords. There are so many options that you can choose from. My personal favorite class is the Summoner which allows me to use minions and force them to fight for me, (thank you, little slime boi)

Monsters are everywhere at night. From Zombies to flying eyeballs, the beginning of the game will force you to take refuge from the creatures of the night until you find proper weapons to defend yourself. I’d highly recommend the bow. To be honest, night monsters become more of an annoyance later on as they don’t pose much of a danger (unless you play Expert mode..Then one hit can spell ouch). Monsters lay everywhere. Underground, the dungeon, even the sky amongst the clouds. Just saying, be prepared for combat in the game. 

The crafting is something to be marveled at in game. Items that feel strong can become stronger through special care and items dropped rarely. Or if you’re a potion crafter, we have stuff for you too! Gardening and alchemy is a hell of a thing to do while you’re out exploring the world. It allows you to create powerful potio- Ah wait. You may not be strong enough for this potion seller’s potions. 

Grappling hooks, pet bunnies and fish, minecarts, and more help you guide your way across this vast world. Fishing catch your fancy? Go through the game as a fisherman. YOU CAN DO THAT. Don’t like skilling? Kill monsters! Don’t like that? MINE! Become a black smith man! Hell, become a gardener and conquer the world with your botany skills! (I’m pushing for it >:C) Most playstyles are accepted c: ...But you will always have to prepare for combat.

Bosses are plentiful in game. Giant skeleton heads that guard dungeons full of loot, eyeballs which guard the skies and their souls, ridiculously large worms that come from the ground like the movie Tremors? We gottem. All pose their own difficulties. All are possible to defeat with strategies ranging from boss arenas to pumping yourself full of potion steroids. The best part: All drop wonderful LOOT BABY. They also progress you through the game c: 

I don’t know what else I can say to convince you to give it a shot if you haven’t. It goes on sale regularly and has hundreds of hours of game play you can go through. I never once felt bored playing it. An instant purchase from steam. 

[liz-crimson]

Fix Him stories can be good

I've seen comments/criticisms here and there that Julian's route is just the MC being his babysitter/his therapist and it's therefore a poorly written route. But the thing is, I feel like that’s really only a half truth and, like most things in life, there are heaping amounts of nuance that are missed.

I'm going to be the first one to say I'm a sucker for "I can fix him" stories. I 100% see the flaws in them and recognize they can be extremely harmful when applied to real life relationships, but hey I still can't help what I like in my fictional romance. I’m also going to recognize that, with Julian being my favorite and 80% of the reason I play this game, I’m going to be incredibly biased.

That all being said, I spend a lot of time thinking about all the little nooks and crannies of this story and am relatively confident in my own judgement. I spend a lot of time thinking “is Julian’s route just me being his therapist the whole time?” And to that I answer.... kind of? But with a big ol asterisk leading to a whole essay that can be summed up in “but also there’s a whole lot more to it than that”

At its very core, yes, Julian’s route is an “I can fix him” story. He is a fugitive on the run who never sleeps, abandons his friends and family on a regular basis, and has a whoooole slew of deep personal issues that he insists on dealing with himself through bad coping mechanisms. He does not shy away from admitting this himself. He is an incredibly flawed character that shows a lot of red flags and you as the player have to recognize that. This is just a thing you have to already agree you are into before diving in headfirst. You enjoy that? Great! Dive on in with me, friend! Not into that? That’s ok, it’s not your thing. Doesn’t mean it’s bad writing tho.

And I think that’s the thing that bugs me most about this criticism, like, seeing people be like “yeah but it’s just an ‘I can fix him’ story :///“ and it’s like yes!! That’s the point Brent!! I want to feel like I am capable of improving on someone else’s life just by being nice and loving to them!!! It being a fix him story doesn’t make it inherently bad, what matters is how the content of the story is actually handled.

And honestly? I really really like the way the story itself is handled. Besides minor tweaks I would make here and there, I’m completely pleased as punch with the overall content of the story so far. Yes, including the whole turning himself in to pull off a batshit crazy plan that includes hanging himself and maybe surviving plotline. It's super compelling! I'm having the time of my life watching him continue to struggle cuz he didn't get "fixed" right away and drowning in the subsequent angst!! It's incredibly frustrating to watch and that's the point! Julian’s characterization is some of my favorite I have seen in quite a while. The narrative doesn’t really have enough time to explore every aspect of his character, but that’s ok! It doesn’t really have to, the game is purposefully set within a small setting and a tight span of time, expanding on it is what fan content and good ol fashioned imagination is for.

So first off, it’s a fix him story where the onus of the “fix” isn’t squarely on the MC’s shoulders. The strength of the game is the interaction between characters. The world doesn’t exclusively revolve around Julian and MC, and that means the other characters play an integral part of the storyline. Portia, Mazelinka, and eventually Asra and Nadia all put in a hand to help Julian. You know what that’s called? Having a network of support. In other words, a really healthy method of healing, not relying on one person for comfort and help and instead having a whole group to help. This is a huge difference that is a departure from the problematic part of most fix him stories.

You know what also makes a big difference? The MC isn’t pressured to stay. In fact, they are given many opportunities to leave. If you took an out, well, I guess you wouldn’t be playing the route anymore, would you? Nobody in the story implies you are obligated to help him (Portia directly asks you if it’s what you want rather than assuming you’re on board), nobody implies the MC would be a huge jerk by jumping ship, or says “But you have to help him!!” The other characters have made the decision to help him themselves, and if you decide to go with them then cool beans. The MC helps him by their own choice, not because they felt a moral obligation to do so.

I think this criticism also ignores that “fixing” is an integral part of Nadia and Asra’s routes as well? Granted, Julian’s issues tend to way outdo the other two, but a large part of Nadia’s route is teaching her to trust others, and to work past the deep seeded issues she has with her sisters. Asra’s route is largely about MC pushing him to be more open and honest with them, instead of hiding everything away for the sake of comfort. These.... are not small feats to work through, and the MC is responsible for being the one to fix these issues, this is not unique to Julian’s route.

And the thing is, helping Julian isn’t a one way street like most fix him stories. The problem with a large portion of fix him stories is that the recipient of the help acts like a leech (lol), selfishly demanding the help and not considering the needs of their partner. Yes, MC is doing most of the legwork at this point in the relationship, but Julian is taking initiative in at least trying to reciprocate. He states his frustration in feeling like he’s not being helpful at multiple points, he wants to give back and return the favor that MC is doing for him. He wants to learn how to consider MC’s needs, but he hasn’t quite gotten the hang of it yet. You hear that? That’s the sweet sweet sound of character development in the works, my friend.

And that’s the thing, isn’t it? He’s actually developing as a character and working toward improvement, even if it's slow going. What is often the problem in relationships where the romantic partner is acting like a babysitter or therapist is that the recipient of the help doesn’t actually learn anything from it, and instead expects their partner to fix everything for them. That’s not the case here, Julian is trying to take initiative, he’s trying to take charge of his own problems, he doesn’t want to be dependent on MC forever. He’s not necessarily succeeding at this point in the story, but he’s trying, and that’s what really makes the biggest difference in the end. MC helps to ground him, but at the end of the day he’s still putting on his big boy underwear and trying to tackle his problems on his own, and he intends to be there for MC when they need his help too.

He started as a character that was hopeless about his own flaws and incredibly selfish, feeling he was a lost cause incapable of fixing himself. He is becoming a character that, through the help of MC as well as the other characters, is gaining his own agency and actually working on his dang self.

[theonyxpath]

Chicago! By Night! What an evocative title that was in ’91. We had seen nothing like it for any of our games. The web of vampire NPCs and their sheer variety could have been overwhelming, but instead it was fascinating. We wanted to keep reading and to learn as much as we could about them, and the vampire society they were enmeshed in.

The gorgeous Coterie Charts were, of course, that perfect bit of visual aid that we needed to refer to during reading – and even more importantly, during playing. Who is she? Do we know who she’s connected to? Does she hate that guy we’re sort of working for?

It added the context, the structure, that we had only been imagining based on the core book. Now we could see how the ideas fit together in one city.

My group was lucky as I had been given the text early in order to playtest and so I could do art and the logo for the book. We got to roam those streets on the lookout for Capone earlier than most, but we also didn’t get to see Josh Timbrook’s full collection of gorgeous and evocative character portraits, so it was interesting to see his depictions later on.

After over a decade of D&D, Chicago by Night was definitely the book that made me fall in love with Vampire: The Masquerade.

Which worked out OK.

Y’know?

      Scion Hero illustration by Chris Bivins

    Naturally, considering the above, when given the chance, we at Onyx Path pitched for a new version of Chicago By Night. Three times! We pitched it for V20, we “pitched” it during our plans for our new edition of VtM, and now, we pitched and are doing the Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition version!

Third time’s the charm, or, I guess, the discipline.

The V5 Chicago By Night Kickstarter goes live at 12 noon Eastern US time tomorrow, Tuesday the 30th (if all goes well, and the many weird-ass things that can screw this up don’t happen). This is a KS to create a beautiful traditionally printed version of the book that we will use as a springboard to get the books into stores.

Backers will get sections of the text of the book all through the Kickstarter, and I understand that our Kickstarter Concierge James Bell and Chicago developer Matthew Dawkins have cooked up a whole series of reveals for that info. Plus, they’ve been working on ways to incorporate backer input without slowing down the book’s progress. We really want to get it out to backers and then into stores as fast as we can.

Certainly, more along the model of Cavaliers of Mars which was delivered a year early to backers, or Monarchies of Mau, on track to be shipped in November, some four months earlier than estimated.

Plus, the text we are revealing to backers is finished text, approved by White Wolf, and set to take a copy edit but then go right into layout. We know folks are concerned about changes to the text that has been previewed, and we’re setting this up so that situation doesn’t happen.

      Fetch Quest illustration by Pat Loboyko

    As for what those sections will contain, well, they’ll present Chicago as it exists NOW in the World of Darkness, and we’ll be continuing to follow Matthew’s preference for writing that provides story-ideas and hooks in every paragraph. Locations that have explicit ideas for play attached to them, and we’ll have Lore Sheets that build out the secrets of the Kindred of Chicago.

In fact, I’m really looking forward to our Chicago Lore Sheets providing that same feeling of “proof of concept”, of a concrete structure, that the original CbyN did for VtM first edition.

And, then there’s the Lasombra.

Their V5 clan write-up will be in there, as well as the shadowy revelation of their current status and plans within plans.  We’re thrilled to be able to be the ones who reveal them to our community, and from what I’ve seen, you are going to be very pleased indeed.

So that’s a huge milestone for us this week, and something we’ve been working feverishly on, but we have a few other things to point out that came up in our meeting today that are happening this week of spooky weeks.

V5 is not the only vampire game in town, as the Guide to the Night for Vampire: The Requiem 2e in Advance PDF form goes undead on DriveThruRPG on Halloween, along with our regularly scheduled Exalted 3rd monthly PDFs.

If we can do it this week, we’ll also be delivering the Backer PDF for Matt Forbeck’s long awaited Exalted 3rd novel to backers!

      Trinity Continuum: Aeon illustration by Sam Denmark

    Before the month is done, you owe it to yourselves to check out the deadly discounts at the HalfoffWeen sale at IPR, and the Halloween sale at DTRPG. (See below in The Blurbs!)

Finally, if you missed last Friday’s interview with Jason Carl, V5 producer and current marketing chap at White Wolf, this is a great week to hear all about the man who’s an expert on both Vampire and wine. And a whoooole lot more as his interview with the Terrifying Trio on the Onyx Pathcast proves. Check that out here, or on your favorite podcast venue: https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/e/episode-23-interview-with-another-vampire-jason-carl/ 

Coming up this week, our Dream Team goes into details on their Dream Games. You know, the projects they would most like to create if time, money, legalities, or common sense were not concerns!

Maybe they’ll make some games we can publish, and add to our existing collection of:

Many Worlds, One Path!

  BLURBS!

KICKSTARTER:

Lo the darkness that lies like a pall over Chicago. The V5 Chicago By Night Kickstarter arises in October!

We will be opening the casket on October the 30th at 12noon Eastern US time!

Because we know the 2nd Inquisition is out there, let’s establish a fallback plan so if anything happens to delay this, we’ll do it at noon on Halloween, Wednesday the 31st!

We’re also working on the Kickstarter for They Came From Beneath the Sea! (TCFBtS!), which has some very different additions to the Storypath mechanics we’ll be explaining during the KS.  They take an excellent 50’s action and investigation genre game and turn it to 11!

  ELECTRONIC GAMING:

      As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is both rolling and rocking!

Here are the links for the Apple and Android versions:

http://theappstore.site/app/1296692067/onyx-dice

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.onyxpathpublishing.onyxdice&hl=en

Three different screenshots, above.

And our latest, the dice for Werewolf: The Forsaken 2e:

  ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue you bought it from. Reviews really, really help us with getting folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

Vampire: The Masquerade: The Endless Ages Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: Rites of Renown: When Will You Rage II (Kindle, Nook)

Mage: The Ascension: Truth Beyond Paradox (Kindle, Nook)

Chronicles of Darkness: The God-Machine Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Mummy: The Curse: Curse of the Blue Nile (Kindle, Nook)

Beast: The Primordial: The Primordial Feast Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Vampire: The Masquerade: Of Predators and Prey: The Hunters Hunted II Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: The Poison Tree (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: Songs of the Sun and Moon: Tales of the Changing Breeds (Kindle, Nook)

Vampire: The Requiem: The Strix Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Forsaken: The Idigam Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Mage: The Awakening: The Fallen World Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Vampire: The Masquerade: The Beast Within Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Werewolf: The Apocalypse: W20 Cookbook (Kindle, Nook)

Exalted: Tales from the Age of Sorrows (Kindle, Nook)

Chronicles of Darkness: Tales of the Dark Eras (Kindle, Nook)

Promethean: The Created: The Firestorm Chronicle Anthology (Kindle, Nook)

Demon: The Descent: Demon: Interface (Kindle, Nook)

Scarred Lands: Death in the Walled Warren (Kindle, Nook)

V20 Dark Ages: Cainite Conspiracies (Kindle, Nook)

Chronicles of Darkness: Strangeness in the Proportion (Kindle, Nook)

Vampire: The Requiem: Silent Knife (Kindle, Nook)

Mummy: The Curse: Dawn of Heresies (Kindle, Nook)

  OUR SALES PARTNERS:

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there!

https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

And we’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

  Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

Here’s the link to the press release we put out about how Onyx Path is now selling through Indie Press Revolution: http://theonyxpath.com/press-release-onyx-path-limited-editions-now-available-through-indie-press-revolution/

And you can now order Pugmire: the book, the screen, and the dice! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/manufacturers.php?manufacturerid=296

    DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

  For the most horrific day of the year, this Wednesday, Halloween, we are releasing the Advance PDF for Vampire: The Requiem 2e Guide to the Night!

  And we haven’t forgotten our monthly Exalted PDF releases! They too will be coming out on DTRPG this Wednesday!

          CONVENTIONS!

Matt, Monica, Bill, Crystal, and other Onyx Path writers and developers will be at GameHoleCon in Madison, WI November 8th – 11th running demos of Pugmire, Scarred Lands, and more! https://www.gameholecon.com/

Rich, Lisa, Matt, Eddy, Dixie, Danielle, and other Onyx Path writers and developers will be at PAX Unplugged in Philly, November 30th – December 2nd running demos of Scion, Monarchies of Mau, Exalted, and more! http://unplugged.paxsite.com/

Start getting ready for our appearance at MidWinter this January in Milwaukee! So many demos, playtests, secret playtests, and Onyx Path Q&As you could plotz!

  And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM FAST EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

C20 Novel (Jackie Cassada) (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Tales of Excellent Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Scion Ready Made Characters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion Jumpstart (Scion 2nd Edition)

Geist2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Memento Mori: the GtSE 2e Companion (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Distant Worlds (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

  Redlines

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

  Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

  Development

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Night Horrors: Shunned by the Moon (Werewolf: The Forsaken 2nd Edition)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Wr20 Book of Oblivion (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

CofD Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)

  Manuscript Approval:

V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)

  Editing:

Signs of Sorcery (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Aeon Aexpansion (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

C20 Players’ Guide (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

Dystopia Rising: Evolution (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Adventures for Curious Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

In Media Res (Trinity Continuum: Core)

  Post-Editing Development:

Ex Novel 2 (Aaron Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

  Indexing:

    ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

  In Art Direction

Dystopia Rising: Evolution – Got the fulls contracted out and emails out to artists from the KS about doing some more.

Geist 2e

The Realm

Trinity Continuum (Aeon and Core) – Aeon sketches coming in.

Ex3 Monthly Stuff

Chicago By Night – Ready for KS.

Pugmire Roll of Good Dogs and Cats – Art contracted.

C20 Player’s Guide – Sending out the last contracts and art notes.

Aeon Aexpansion

They Came From Beneath the Sea! – Getting more KS art since we have a little time.

Lost 2e Jumpstart – Art contracted.

EX3 Lunars – Getting KS art.

Signs of Sorcery – Awaiting updated art notes.

  Marketing Stuff

  In Layout

Trinity Core – Working.

Trinity Aeon – Inputting 2nd proof notes.

M20: Gods and Monsters – With Josh.

  Proofing

Scion Hero – Backer PDF is out, errata coming in.

Scion Origin – Corrections are in.

Ex3 Dragon Blooded

CtL2 Jumpstart – Adding in corrections.

  At Press

Monarchies of Mau and Screen – At Studio2. Dice and buttons shipping to Studio2.

Wraith 20th – Printing the Deluxe interior, proofing cover this week(??).

Wraith 20 Screen – Printing.

Scion Dice – At Studio2.

Lost 2e Screen – Off to printer.

Scion Screen – Off to printer.

Changeling: The Lost 2e – Printer getting started.

Fetch Quest – Files sent to printer.

Exalted 3rd Novel – Getting ready for backers.

PTC: Night Horrors: The Tormented – Prepping PDF files.

VtR: Guide to the Night – Advance PDF going on sale on DTRPG on Weds!

  TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE: Well, Halloween. Duh.

[rescuesirens]

NC Mermania 2017, part 2 - Mermaiding

From Jess (originally posted on rescuesirens.com, January 31st, 2017):   It’s hard to believe, but I haven’t written yet about my mermaid tail! I’ve posted a handful of tail photos here on the “Rescue Sirens” website as well as pictures and video clips on Instagram and Tumblr, but this is the first time I’ve blogged about it, and I don’t know if I can do it justice with mere words. My mermaid tail is a wearable, working piece of art.

Although it’s been around for decades, the sport, performance, or hobby of mermaiding has really taken off in recent years. Today, you can buy an affordable fabric tail that slips over a plastic monofin (a device, as the name suggests, that looks like a pair of fins fused together, designed to contain both feet and keep a swimmer’s legs together to aid in the dolphin kick), or you can spring for a variety of other materials, varying in price up to $4,000 or more. One of the most popular materials is silicone, and there are multiple tailmakers who create truly stunning silicone mermaid tails for swimming. My tail and matching top were handcrafted by Raven and Tyler Sutter of Merbella Studios Inc., based in my home state of Florida.

The story behind the creation of my tail is pretty magical. On our family vacation to Orlando in August of 2015, Chris, his daughter Nicole, and I made a side trip to meet Raven and Tyler at historic Weeki Wachee Springs State Park, Florida’s “City of Live Mermaids.” There, I got to view the fabled springs for myself for the first time -- I grew up in Florida and spent a lot of time at Ginnie Springs over the years as well as Silver Springs and Homosassa, but, almost unbelievably, I’d never visited Weeki Wachee… and now here I was in this iconic mermaid mecca, with Mermaid Raven, seeing one of her gorgeous silicone mermaid tails in person! Wow!

I was so impressed with her handiwork’s artistry and flawless construction, and even more impressed with Raven and Tyler themselves: they’re brilliant, beautiful, fun, and phenomenally talented people who I feel very fortunate to call my friends today.

That first meeting. As you can see, we all got caught in a Florida thunderstorm!

Before we parted ways, Tyler and Raven took detailed measurements of my lower body so they could custom-build my tail, and I left Weeki Wachee looking forward to the day when I could try it on and go for my first swim.

Both the tail and the top that went with it were going to be designed as a “realistic” version of Nim’s, the Rescue Siren whose appearance Chris based on mine, and I was curious to find out how Raven would adapt Chris’s drawings into something that had to obey the laws of physics and look like it “belonged” on a real human being (as opposed to a cartoon), while still retaining the spirit of Nim’s design. Over the next eight months, Raven periodically sent work-in-progress photos as she sculpted Nim’s flukes and fins as well as the leafy, kelp-like halter top that Nim wears in her undersea home, Lophelia. Even in humble gray clay, everything looked amazing.

In April of 2016, Chris and I took another trip to Florida, and we made plans with Raven and Tyler to spend some time at Orlando’s YMCA Aquatic Center. The Y features a seventeen-foot-deep dive well, and I was beside myself with excitement at the idea of hanging out with Raven again and even getting to swim together. I knew that she was close to completing my tail and had already finished my top, but I wasn’t expecting to receive them until May, so I figured she’d bring one of her extra tails and I could borrow it for our swim. Imagine the look on my face, then, when Raven unveiled my very own Nim tail in the YMCA’s parking lot! It was so unexpected that I actually didn’t register what I was seeing for several moments, and then I squealed and squeezed Raven half to death.

Raven had taken the images of Nim that Chris had drawn and she had made them real. The delicate curling fronds of Nim's seaweed top, with sparkling green crystals imbedded amongst the gentle floral curves... the sweeping lines of Nim's graceful tail -- "blue as the ocean in the morning," scales glittering with iridescent shine -- from the flawless transition at the blended waist to the lightly ribbed dorsal, adipose, and ventral fins, all the way down to the immense flukes: three feet wide and ingeniously hiding a Finis Competitor monofin within.

Raven still had some finishing touches to put on my tail’s paint job, but I could try it on and go swimming with her!

I didn’t truly understand the phrase “fits like a glove” until I put on my Nim tail. It was made to conform to my body exactly, and, boy, does it do that. Even with Raven’s help, I swear it took me something like an hour and half to wriggle into my tail that first time. I’ve since gotten it down to under ten minutes (again, with my husband Chris’s help), but, if I hadn’t had Raven there to show me what to do at first, I honestly don’t know if I would’ve believed I could get into that tail. Once it’s on, it fits like a second skin, which makes moving through the water effortless. (Loose tails can flap around a person’s waist and legs, catching water as they swim and creating drag.) And once it was finally on that first time, I took off into the dive well… and I felt like I was flying.

When you’re wearing a mermaid tail, you can’t really get a good look at yourself while you’re swimming, so what made me do a double-take was seeing Raven (who can get into her tail in, like, two minutes!) glide past me in her own tail. The illusion is flawless; the blended waist effect that Raven can achieve with her tails is wholly convincing, her tails’ flukes bend and flow realistically, and Raven herself is so fluid and graceful in the water that you would swear she’s a real mermaid.

A post shared by Rescue Sirens:Mermaids On Duty (@rescuesirens) on Dec 22, 2016 at 1:33pm PST

Chris and Tyler, watching us, discussed the interesting quirk about mermaid tails: when a Victoria’s Secret model wears angel wings, she can’t fly, but, when someone puts on a mermaid tail, they really can swim. The fiberglass Finis Competitor monofin built into my tail is rated for ocean swimming, and I can cross a pool in only a few dolphin kicks. I went from the dive well’s surface to the bottom at seventeen feet below in the blink of an eye. I felt strong, powerful, and beautiful -- just like I imagine the Rescue Sirens in my stories -- and I can never thank Raven and Tyler enough for that.

My Nim tail has already been on a number of adventures, from Orlando to two Hawaiian islands to Weeki Wachee Springs and back here to Los Angeles, but those tail-tales will have to wait for another day, because today I want to write about mermaiding at NC Mermania!

The main event of NC Mermania was our time at the Greensboro Aquatic Center, affectionately referred to as the GAC (that’s pronounced “gack”). Merfolk took over the facility’s dive well, which, just like Orlando’s YMCA Aquatic Center, is a whopping seventeen feet deep and twenty-five yards wide; vendors (like us) set up on either side of the giant body of water. Chris and I readied our table with books, buttons, and Diving Belle motel key tags, and then I “turned tail”… with the help of Chris (who is an incredible husband for many reasons; this is only one of them) and a whoooole lot of coconut oil.

Although the tail is a challenge to get into, the reward once I’m in is well worth it: I get to go swimming! It’s so refreshing, both physically and mentally. I feel like a little kid again, only I’ve leveled up the way I “play mermaids” in a manner that wee Jess never could have imagined. I've always been a water baby, and swimming in a realistic mermaid tail is a whole new way of interacting with the element I love so dearly.

I recently had rashguards screen-printed with the “Rescue Sirens” logo, and I wore those stretchy lifeguard tops as part of my Nim outfit for both days in the dive well at the GAC. I was so tickled every time someone recognized our property! I loved talking to people, answering their questions about the books and the world, and spreading the word about this series that means so much to me. Because NC Mermania attendees are passionate about many of the same things that I am -- the ocean, marine conservation, water safety, and mythology -- that made everyone easy to talk to, even for an introvert like me!

Besides talking about "Rescue Sirens," conversations involved admiring and discussing one another's tails (Merbella Studios' tails like mine, Finfolk Productions, Mertailor, Mernation, any number of commercially available fabric tails, and even handmade), swapping water-friendly hair and makeup tips, learning new tricks (I was taught how to blow bubble rings!), and simply having fun swimming together. There was an innocence to the event that I found really charming. When was the last time, as an adult, that you really just enjoyed splashing around in the water with friends the way you did as a kid? I didn't realize how much I'd missed that.

While I played in the dive well, Chris was a rockstar and, as usual, a phenomenal husband: he not only sold copies of "Rescue Sirens: The Search for the Atavist" at our poolside table, but he also took lots of photos and videos to remember our time at NC Mermania. The only thing that Chris couldn't do was take photos from in the water (since he had to be able to return to our table at a moment's notice), but the wonderful Karsten Shein of Mountain Mermaid Photography had that covered, spending both days suited up in scuba gear at the bottom of the dive well with camera in hand.

Here are some of my favorite candids shot by Karsten (thank you so much!):

In addition to Karsten's underwater photos, I chose some of the best pictures and videos that Chris shot from the pool deck and compiled them into this short video, which follows me around a bit during our time at the GAC on Saturday. Huge thanks also go to Tom Cardwell for graciously sharing the underwater footage that he recorded of me swimming, and to Mermaid Aria for the photo of her, Mermaid Jolene, and yours truly. I'm so grateful for everyone's help!

Next in this series: it's time to make legs and dry off for NC Mermania's social events and panels!

[consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis]

6 Things People with Celiac Disease Need More Than Advice

New blog post! When you have a chronic illness, it's pretty common to get a lot of advice on how to feel better - whether you ask for it, or not. Living with celiac disease is no exception. I've been told stories about relatives with celiac disease healed through prayer. I've heard I can only thrive with celiac disease if I eat no grains, only soaked and sprouted grains or only nutritious whole foods. And when celiac left me quite underweight, even strangers gave suggestions of what I should or shouldn't eat.

Most of the time, this advice comes from a very kind and well-intentioned place. But that doesn't mean it's not frustrating - especially if the advice is not nearly as helpful as the speaker believes. That's why I thought it would be interesting to reflect on six things people with celiac disease really need waaaay more than advice! If you have celiac disease and are getting suuuuper tired of relatives' suggested "cures," I hope this post lets you feel less alone - and reminds you of people in your life who actually give you everything you need. And if you know someone with celiac disease and often find yourself giving advice...maybe this post will help you discover even better ways to help them thrive. So without further adeiu...let's dive on in! We - people with celiac disease - really need...

1. Understanding when we turn down dinner invitations or take forever to talk to the waiter about our gluten free meal.

Like I've written about before, we're not trying to be high maintenance when we take forever to talk about a restaurant's gluten free protocol or ask to speak to the manager before ordering our meal. We're also not being rude if we turn down an invitation to eat out.

Sure, I'm super grateful when friends offer to go to a restaurant with gluten free options so I can dine with them. I'm also not afraid to call ahead and ask to bring my own food to a restaurant that can't serve me safely, or eat ahead of time and just enjoy the company. However, sometimes, I just don't feel like going out to be surrounded by a bunch of food I can't eat...and it means the world to me when friends understand and just ask to hang out another time! And I've talked to many other celiacs who feel the exact same way.

2. Time to recover when we do get glutened - and forgiveness if we have to cancel plans.

I'm fortunate to say that I can't remember the last time I was majorly glutened. However, when it does happen, the side effects are anything but fun...and our recovery is a lot easier when we can cancel plans without worrying about letting people down.

(Source)

Everyone's reaction to gluten is different, and everyone will need a different amount of time to recover from being glutened. So the number-one thing you can do if a loved one with celiac disease gets glutened is ask what they need and be flexible with your plans! Sure, maybe y'all can't go on that epic 8-mile hike you planned...but that doesn't mean you can't watch Netflix together on the couch or get together for a delicious (and celiac-safe) homecooked meal. And even if we'd prefer to just sleep our way through being glutened and catch up on plans later, know that your offer to help is still majorly appreciated.

3. Greater awareness that our dietary limitations are not a fad or fodder for jokes.

I try to keep my blog and social media accounts positive and focus on the bright side of life with celiac disease (like all the ways going gluten free has made my life waaaay better). However, it's impossible to ignore the fact that we still have a loooong way to go before the average person on the street is educated and aware of celiac disease. Honestly, raising celiac awareness and connecting with people going through the same struggles and victories as me is the main reason I blog. But here's the awesome news: anyone can help raise celiac awareness in suuuuper small ways.

The next time a co-worker or a friend says gluten free options are "dumb" or "just diet food," remind them that people with celiac disease actually need to eat gluten free to survive. If you hear someone making fun of dietary restrictions or gluten free eaters, tell them their joke isn't actually that funny and move the conversation along. And if you hear someone ask what "the gluten free diet is all about anyway...", don't be afraid to give a short answer! This doesn't mean that you have to turn into a celiac superhero who advocates for the gluten free community every chance you get. But if an opportunity arises and you feel comfortable stepping in...do it. The 3+ million Americans with celiac disease will thank you!

4. More gluten free options...that are actually tasty and celiac safe!

One of my favorite parts about following gluten free bloggers like Erica from Celiac and the Beast or Taylor at Hale Life is that they always seem to have alllll the dirty details about new gluten free products. And when I first heard about Schar’s new gluten free puff pastry or Quinn Snack’s gluten free peanut butter pretzels or Canyon Bakehouse’s gluten free English muffins...I squealed, jumped up and down and immediately texted the good news to my gluten free mom.

‘Cause, yeah, I feel super fortunate with how many gluten free options there are nowadays. But there is always room for improvement. And especially as someone who was diagnosed with celiac disease as a teen, I can say that having access to gluten free alternatives to “normal” foods or old favorites makes life with celiac disease so much easier. So if you see a loved one with celiac disease fangirling over new gluten free products or a new gluten free, celiac-safe restaurant, know they're happy about more than the food. They're happy about having part of their old life back. And if you have celiac disease and feel a little silly getting teary-eyed over a delicious gluten free cookie...know that you ain't alone!

5. Less judgment and more fact-checking in many celiac support groups.

During my journey with celiac disease, there have been times when online support groups helped me learn about delicious gluten free alternatives or safe places to eat. It's also really helpful to be able to post about being glutened or having people not understand your "special diet," and have people respond, "Been there, done that! So get what you're going through!" Nowadays, though, misinformation and judgment can be about as common in online gluten free support groups as gluten in a traditional pizza parlor. Need some examples? I’ve seen people posting about all grains being “poison” to people with celiac disease or that envelopes contain gluten (this is a myth and not true). I’ve seen waaaaaay too many questions that should really be sent to a doctor, not posted for people on the internet. And many posts featuring processed gluten free foods (like corn dogs or freezer meals or cakes) have at least a few comments about how unhealthy those foods are and why people should never include them in their diet.

But here's the thing about eating a gluten free diet - or, heck, eating any diet: everyone thrives on different foods. As I've written about before, people can eat a gluten free diet in so many different ways, like by eating more plant-based foods or by eating paleo or by eating more processed foods. As long as people are eating in a way that's safe and healthy and satisfying to them (celiacs who cheat on a gluten free diet is a whoooole other topic to tackle), I say, "Good for them!" And I hope that in the future, gluten free and celiac support groups offer more encouragement and (accurate) information than judgment or criticism for not living and eating gluten free in a certain "right" way.

6. A cure...or at least improved protection against cross contamination. (And this need really is on the way to being fulfilled!)

A few weeks ago, I was talking with my boyfriend when he asked me: "If they invented some drug and you could suddenly eat gluten again...would you?" And even though that was not the first time I heard that question, I didn't have an easy answer. At this point in my life, I don't think I'd ever go back to eating gluten all the time. But one thing I really do want is protection against cross-contamination, and for my children (if I have any...and if they inherit celiac disease from me) to have fewer worries and more freedom with their food. And I know that many people in the gluten free community are equally torn but also excited at the prospect of progress in celiac disease treatments - or even a cure.

From my blog's Facebook page...

Which is why articles about therapies that could help people with celiac disease tolerate gluten again - like this one or this one - are blowin' up on my blog's Facebook page! So if you hear a loved one with celiac disease getting excited about the prospect of a vaccine, get excited with them! And until a new "cure" to celiac disease is available...help us thrive on the only "treatment" we have right now: a gluten free diet.

The Bottom Line of What People with Celiac Disease Really Need

Seeing a loved one suffer or struggle is not easy. So when you see someone with celiac disease not thriving on a gluten free diet (like I initially didn't) or struggling to deal with the social aspects of eating gluten free, it's a natural instinct to offer them advice on how to feel better or live more happily. And, yes, sometimes this advice is helpful - even life-changing! However, at least in my experience, I'm not looking for loved ones to "solve" my celiac disease. At least for now, celiac disease is a chronic, lifelong condition. And beyond that, everyone's body is different, so a diet or exercise routine or *insert any other piece of life-changing advice here* may work wonders for one person...but do nada for the next. Here's what we - people with celiac disease - really DO need from our friends and family. Things like:

Support.

Encouragement.

Flexibility.

A willingness to learn.

Understanding (or, at the very least, attempted understanding!)

Love.

And I can say from experience. Even giving us one of those things is soooooo much more powerful and helpful than hours of advice will ever be. What's one way someone has helped you thrive with celiac disease? Or what's one piece of "advice" about your health that you'd be happy to never hear again? Tell me in the comments! via Blogger http://bit.ly/2TaxpIT

[chickenarmageddons]

can I ask all the "dreamy asks"? because all the dreamy asks.

I already answered the first two but whOOP DEE DOOO here we go

Moon - A childhood book + your favorite line from it?Honestly I’m still a child but I’ve been growing up on the Riordanverse books but my favorite quote (yes I have one) is “’Oh, I wouldn’t say Love always makes you happy.’ His voice sounded smaller, much more human. ‘Sometimes it makes you incredibly sad. But at least you’ve faced it now. That’s the only way to conquer me.” - Cupid, House of Hades

Stars - Who’s someone you’d sleep under the stars with?Any number of my crushes or one of my best friends or literally anyone I’m not uncomfortable with lol

Sun - City night lights date or meadow picnic date (or both) and why?Def both. A city night lights date would be awesome to do cause I don’t go to cities that often and cities are beautiful. But there’s this really pretty meadow across from a haunted asylum really close to my house and I’ve wanted to go there but I’ve been too scared to go alone but a date would bee spoopy and aesthetic

Comet - A movie/show/book that taught you something important you’ll never forget?Winnie the Pooh taught me that you can be irregular and out-of-the-norms and live your own life

Space dust - Night rain or day rain? Soft rain or thunderstorms?Soft summer day rain where you can open the windows just a little and let in the Ultra Fresh air mmmmMMMMMMHHHMMMMMMMMM that’s some goo d shit right there

Fairy lights - Soft candlelight or warm sunlight?Sunlight. I love candles for their scent, but I like being out in the sun a whoooole lot more than candlelight

Meteor shower - Favourite song(s) to fall asleep to?I actually have a sleep playlist:Addict With a Pen - twenty one pilotsBite - Troye SivanThe Day You Took the Good Away - Front Porch StepThe End of All Things - Panic! At The DiscoFallingforyou - The 1975Idfc - BlackbearOh Ms Believer - twenty one pilotsScene Five - With Ears To See And Eyes To Hear - Sleeping With SirensScene One - James Dean & Audrey Hepburn - Sleeping With SirensSomebody Else - The 1975Somebody Else - The 1975SOMEBODY ELSE - THE 1975I’d have more if I did a spotify playlist (omg I could totally do that)

Vanilla twilight - If you wrote a ‘concept’ post about your dream future in your dream home what would it say?Concept: I look out the window and see the streets of San Francisco. My walls are (mostly) light, I have plants in all of the rooms, and there is a growing mural in my living room that shows my life in abstract art. My skin is clear. I have become known as a musical artist. I have a cat and a bird and a snake. I have a datemate who likes me. We are all happy

Milky way - If you could go back in time where and when would you go to? Why?I would go back to the beginning of time as we know and watch everything start to exist for the first time. It would be such a wonder to see and I can’t fuck anything up by being seen (or “accidentally” stabbing Julius Caesar)

Saltwater room - Sunrise or sunset? Do you like saying hello to the sun or moon more?Gah dam I flippin love the moon. The moon is so beautiful and I’m sad that I can’t see the moon from my windows until it’s setting

Dandelion wishes - What is one thing that always gives you hope?My friends. My books. My movies and shows, my art, the people that tell me I’m good enough and the people that tell me I’m a piece of shit (because the fact that haters exist means I’ve reached enough people for there to be ugly-speaking ones)

Rose petals - Where do you want to be the most in the world and why?I want to be back in San Fran or with the people I like/love

Floral - Would you rather live underwater or in the sky?Neither. I am scared of deep water and heights. Unless there’s guard rails and a sturdy floor. Then I’d live in the sky and not look down

Constellations - What is your favourite instrument to listen to? What is your favourite instrument to play (or that you want to play the most)?I like listening to the hammered dulcimer, the ukulele, violin, and piano. My favorite to play is the piano because it was my first instrument, I’ve never not wanted to play the piano and I’ve never got bored with it. The piano is a beast that can be tamed or befriended and I choose to befriend it, leaving me with a partner in music to play with and travel through all of the colors (I sound insane but I just really love playing the piano)

Yo my dudeldred I see you here a lot it’s pretty radical

Ask Tag

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #331

my head hurts way too badly to think up some intro lyrics, so just g’night.

Have you ever become good friends with someone you never met in person? Oh yeah, I've had best friends over the Internet. Hell, I'm closer to many online friends than I am most irl ones. They know "the real me" more. What do you consider your default mood to be? Stressed, probably. Discontent. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive for? Not long. Proper goldfish husbandry is a very neglected topic, and I sure as hell never knew how to set up its tank adequately. Have you ever been paintballing? No, don't plan to. It looks like it hurts like a bitch. Do you want a large wedding? No. Did you ever collect any sort of cards? I had a very small collection of Pokemon cards. I didn't collect them avidly. What’re the best and worst books you ever had to read for a class? The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton was the best. The worst was some book we had to read in the 6th grade about a kid during some war that moved around a lot... I don't remember the name or who wrote it, but it sucked. What’s the best meal you had at an amusement park, or If you haven’t been to one, how about a good meal at another place like a zoo, aquarium or museum? I don't know. I haven't been to many. Who, whether a person or company, emails you the most? My PHP therapist emails me a check-in sheet and Zoom link every day there's a therapy session. What kind of sound or noise freaks you out the most and why do you think it scares you? Let's seeeee... I don't know if there's a sound that actually freaks me out. There are some I don't like, but none that like, frighten me. At least that I can think of. What’s the strangest art piece you’ve come across? Biiiitch there's a painting in Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs I'm not gonna go into, but shit fuckin wild. What’s the most clever or unique name you’ve come across for a business? I've definitely heard some cool ones, but I don't know about one that really stands out to answer this. If you had to name one of your hypothetical future children after a song, which song would you pick? Maybe like... okay, I'm blanking. Good thing I'm not having kids to name then, right? What’s the last song you heard? "Down in the Park" by Marilyn Manson is on atm. What is your favorite line from a TV show? *shrug* Any current family issues? No. How many hours do you spend online a day? How do you feel about that? I'm doing something on the computer pretty much... always. I hate it, and I hate it a lot. I don't want my life to be tied solely to the digital plane. I want to do more than bounce back and forth from website to website. Do you think that people have the power to make their own lives better? Absolutely, but there are some things they simply cannot change. It's about perspective and how you play the deck you're dealt. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? Right now, the most limiting thing is my physical health, probably. Just walking being torture affects my ability to exercise, and my body is a major reason - if not the biggest, at this current time - for my depression. This also plays a massive role in jobs I can handle. Not to sound like my emo self writing middle school poetry, but my body feels like a prison. Do you feel that you are loved? I know I am by some people, though I have a hard time understanding why a lot. What is the one thing you want most from life? Life satisfaction. Pride in what I've accomplished. A regular state of being content. Birthplace? I'm just gonna say in eastern NC. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, merely infatuation. Love is much too deep for that. Do you think dreams eventually come true? Some can, but usually only if you put effort into making that so. Favorite fictional character? like ummmmmmmm have you heard of this sassy bastard called Darkiplier- Go to the movies or rent? Before Covid, I loved going to the theater. It was something to do, plus a giant screen is nice. McDonalds or Burger King? McD's. I'm not a big BK fan. I only really went there during my vegetarian phase for the veggie burger. Current annoyance? This motherfucking headache. Last thing you ate? I have a meal replacement shake with me right now, if you consider that "eating." I didn't have a proper dinner. The last solid food I had though was some cookies and cream Greek yogurt. Last thing you bought? With my own money, I think I bought Mom and I some cheap McDonald's order semi-recently? Or maybe paying my $100 deposit for my tattoo was most recent, idk. Soonest thing you are looking forward to? For Mom to get her CT scan and find out what's going on in there. What did you do today? It was a pretty average day. I woke up way too early, though. The only thing even semi-unique about today was I played World of Warcraft for a few hours again; I've been quite unattached to it lately, but I went through an episode today of actually having fun playing. Oh, and I've been battling a migraine. It's more of a severe headache now, at least, but it still sucks big time. Do you like to see it snowing outside? Oh yes, absolutely! When you were in high school did you ever have bomb threats? I believe once we did from a very volatile student that honestly caused quite a lot of trouble. He's dead now. Who knows ALL of your secrets? Nobody. Did you have a job before you were in college? No. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to have a baby right now? That's a terrifying thought, no. Are you on birth control? Yeah, but just because it tames my menstrual cramps. Without it, they could be debilitating some days. Who is your last sent text to? My best fren. Have you ever eaten at Chipotle before? Possibly? Idr. Do you swear often? Excessively. I had a dirty mouth prior, but my swearing got really bad when I started staying at Jason's house a lot. He and especially his mother swear like mad. Do you own any shirts with a peace symbol on it? No. Do you have your national flag hanging up anywhere outside your house? Not at this house, no. Would you ever go to Japan? Oh, yes. I would love to. It's... very morbid, but I would really like to walk the (public) paths of Aokigahara Forest, nicknamed "Suicide Forest" for the horrible amount of, well, suicides that happen there via hanging. Like, you might just casually run into a dead body. I want to just... feel it there, walk in silence and empathize with people who didn't know what else to do and hope so deeply that those departed know they were never alone in their pain. I know with absolute certainty I'd probably be teary-eyed the whole time and cry a whoooole lot, but it's just an experience I want to have. What was the last thing you went to Walmart for? Some basic groceries. What should you be doing right now? Sleeping, given this headache... I just don't want to yet. Are you afraid of getting your heart broken? I'm fucking terrified of that ever happening again, far more than words can properly express. Have you ever been in a choir? Yes, actually; when I was a Catholic kid, my sisters and I were in the church choir for a year or so, idr. Do you have a Twitter? Yes, but only to like Mark's tweets, haha. Oh, and very rarely enter giveaways I'm interested in. Describe your retainers to me, if you have them, that is. I have a permanent metal one behind my front row of bottom teeth to keep those straight. My upper teeth had one of those normal retainers you take in and out, but I didn't wear it enough, so now it doesn't even fit. Would you like for someone to call you right now? No. I'm tired, my head hurts, and I'm enjoying the song I'm bingeing. It's so weird, I rarely ever go on music hunting trips (no real reason, I just... don't), but I've found great shit lately. Do you like to brush your teeth? No; it's a chore. I only do it because I don't want my teeth decaying, falling out, or getting too yellow, and the taste in your mouth and gritty texture on your teeth isn't exactly great when you don't brush. Have you ever had a surgery? Two. Give out your phone number over the internet? I have over private messages. Do you look older or younger than you actually are? Given my wardrobe (like graphic tees and band shirts), I probably look younger in the eyes of especially older people. I personally say I look my age, though. When is the next time you’ll be up on stage? I never plan to be again. What is the last show that you watched a full episode of? Some cooking show with Mom. Nailed It!, I think? Do you know anyone who lives in Utah? No. I love Utah, though; it's actually a place I'd be willing to live in with just how pretty it is and not super populated. Do you get your feelings hurt easily? VERY. I'm probably one of the most sensitive people you can meet. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? Yeah. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Ugh, yes. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? First we took those nasty, chalky Flintstones kinds, but as time passed, Mom moved onto giving us gummy bear vitamins that were perfectly fine. Did you get any compliments today? No. Are you friends with your neighbors? Not "friends," no. What towns have you lived in? Three different ones. That's all you're getting. Have you ever thrown up from drinking? No. Done any illegal drugs? No. I mean I've had some alcohol underage, but I've never done anything remotely hardcore. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been on an airplane without changing flights? Idk. Who have you texted today? My mom and best friend. What time did you wake up this morning? Ugh, like five in the fucking morning. I couldn't go back to sleep. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Making shitty eye contact, and I'm one of those people who "talks with [their] hands." I also lose my train of thought a whoooole lot. Have you ever layed in a hammock? Yeah; we had one growing up. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? Well yeah, I've had lots of pets, so thus lost some in particularly painful ways. The most scarring loss of a pet though is as follows: Teddy, my dog, picked up one of our cat's very young, wandering kittens in his jaws in a manner that looked as if he was trying to carry it like Aphrodite (the mother cat) does when she would bring them back behind the couch, where she gave birth/had her little "nest." I absolutely freaked and had to pry the kitten from his mouth, and it slowly died in my hands. I think Teddy accidentally crushed its ribs. I. Was. A. Mess. Then, there was Aphrodite herself. I've told the story before of our former neighbors calling animal control because our cats would wander through their yard, and all of our cats were taken away while I was unaware at school. Came home, and they were all gone. Aphrodite was my baby, so I was devastated. Screaming, sobbing, cursing on the porch for like 20 minutes... It was awful. What type of curtains do you like? I don't... know? I don't know the actual names of any types... What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? I absolutely cannot be friends with someone who thinks they're above everyone else. Are you any good at reading someone's body language? I think I am. What goes good with a nice cold glass of milk? Cookies! Especially Oreos. Dip it in there for around five seconds, and it's perfection. What fruit is too sweet to you? Grapefruit came to mind first. How did you feel after your first kiss? I had butterflies galore and was so giddy and smiley. After the first, I just wanted to kiss him a billion more times. What’s your favorite constellation and why? I don't have one. Shower curtain or door? Curtain. The glass doors are too revealing. Have you ever thought to yourself that you’re the luckiest person in the world? Most deeeeefinitely not. What time of day do you most enjoy looking at the sky? Sunset if there are clouds present, but sunrise if the sky is pretty clear.