#time to choose: surrender or die? (meme)

[pcrplelightning]

inbox call.

give this post a like and I'll go through your meme tag and send something in.

[pcrplelightning3]

le tag dump pt. 1

[filipinoizukuu]

Pls share about the Gospel of Judas 👀

, im SO glad someone asked because this topic is nigh always pingponging around in my head and the fact i get to ramble about it means the WORLD to me. TW ahead for canon-typical violence, gore, and other such discussions of all that fun heretical stuff!

 Now, to preface this, I just wanted to say that I’m not a licensed professional in anything related to theology nor religion nor historical artifacts. I am. as we all are deep down inside, a simple teenager with ridiculous hyper-fixations and a vast ocean of random information that will not be of any importance to my career or home life whatsoever. Easily, many of the things I talk about could either be wrong or debunked, but I will try my best to explain the Book of Judas as I understood it.

Among the many books that make up what we know as the Bible today, there were various seemingly ‘missing perspectives’ and inconsistencies that existed between gospels. One of the reasons for this was the fact that the Bible in and of itself was a compiled work that was originally recorded years after the oral tradition had passed. What is or isn’t ‘canon’ often depended on the rulings of past Popes who worked with historians to determine the authenticity of ancient artifacts that either proved or contested the canonical teachings of the Bible--one of the more popular debunked samples being The Shroud of Turin, which while being ruled as a fake by Pope Clement the VII a long time ago, still has its authenticity being debated until today.

It’s important to remember that the canon status of ancient artifacts. while somewhat reliant on Papal confirmation, can sometimes be contested and interpreted to each individual’s discretion.

And among all of these artifacts, there is my favorite one of all--The Book of Judas. Now, factually speaking, the Gospel of Judas was written in (somewhere between 2 to) 5 A.D., not actually that farfetched considering that only in 1 A.D. was the first version of the Bible we know today written. It was found somewhere in Ancient Egypt but was declared as fiction at some point in 180 A.D. by St. Iranaeus of Lyon. To understand the impact that The Book of Judas would have on the Bible (which, to put it simply, was revolutionary), you’d first have to have a quick review and understanding of who Judas Iscariot was in the gospels that we know today. 

Judas was a disciple.

He was one of the 12 disciples that were closest to Jesus and a disciple that most accounts of the story would say actually truly deeply loved him at some point. Judas was, as all memes about Christianity are fond of reminding, also the traitor that eventually chose money and greed over his love for God’s son and turned him in with a kiss in a garden that led to Jesus Christ’s death at the cross.

That is until you read the translations of the Book of Judas.

In the original books--whether it was because he was possessed by the Devil or simply a man who had fallen into greed--Judas was portrayed to be a sinner and a horrible traitor. After his betrayal and Jesus’ eventual death, Judas had then become guilt-ridden and anguished, choosing to end his own life in the Gospel of Matthew and even tarnishing a field with his blood and sins according to St. Luke in Acts. 

The Book of Judas, however, CHALLENGES these motives. Instead, it takes what brought all past Christian texts together by changing the portrayal of Judas on its head and putting the previous ‘traitor’ under the light of something else entirely.

According to the Book of Judas, Jesus had asked Judas to betray him.

The 26-page manuscript was a brief retelling of the dynamics we were lead to believe in the story told by the main four books. In the Book of Judas, we were told that the original other 12 disciples were actually quite... foolish. They were described to be sort of arrogant and clueless, constantly misinterpreting and forgetting Jesus’ words because while he was teaching them to be better and to spread the words of God, the disciples were still, at their core, human sinners. The manuscript was believed to have reported that of the disciples that were closest, or at least best tolerated by Jesus--Judas was by far the most understanding of His words.

Judas, in accordance with his book, was the only one who could understand the significance and cryptic lessons behind Jesus’ teachings. Because of this, Jesus knew he was the only capable one to serve him in what was to come.

You see, part of the prophecy was that Jesus had to die. He had to suffer and fall for humanity’s sake so that we would be able to be forgiven. As much as it sucks to even think about it, Jesus had come to expect that someone would need to cause his death and hurt him all so that he could fulfill his purpose.

In the end, he thought that death by the hand of an enemy was far worse than a death at the hands of a friend.

During the Last Supper, Jesus approached Judas and placed him into a vision. He placed Judas in a fantastical, wonderful dream where Judas sat facing the house of heaven and saw Jesus. Jesus, who looked at his beloved friend and said: “you will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothes me.” Judas will exceed all of them. And he will sacrifice the man that clothed Jesus.

In this interpretation, Judas was essentially told that he was the one who would finally free Jesus from his physical form. Judas, the supposed traitor disciple, would be the one to fulfill Jesus’ prophecy and thus sacrificed his beloved friend to bring about forgiveness for humanity.

And he understands.

In this manuscript, Judas Iscariot understands the will of God and what he has to do. He understands the weight of his betrayal and what he has to do in order to obey Jesus--so then it isn’t money or fear or anger or evil that motivates him to surrender Jesus to the soldiers but utter obedience and adoration for the Son of God. Judas gives his ‘yes’, knowing that for years and years he will be slandered and labeled as a traitor but at his core, Judas knows that it was not a betrayal to begin with.

So he led the soldiers to Jesus in the garden. He kissed him and let him be taken away and let him die.

-

This was the official translation approved by BBC and National Geographic according to the original translations done by Stephen Emmel, a Coptic studies professional.

Later on, this interpretation would be challenged by Dr. April DeConick, who claims that the mistreatment and mistranslation of the paper actually told the complete opposite, in the way that the revelation in the Last Supper was not created by Jesus but, in fact, by Judas, who had revealed himself to be the 13th demon of hell. This interpretation, while less popular, served as a direct challenge to the recharacterization BBC and NatGeo had approved of. I don’t really know too much about this debate, but I do know that this second interpretation does exist.

Of course, the original Judas text itself is currently impossible to truly translate to be sure. It was torn and shuffled, put into a freezer, and possibly even missing a few pages (which you can blame Bruce Ferinni for), ultimately making the authentic manuscript really difficult to properly restore.

The takeaway from this whole Book though--whether you accept it as canon or not--is that there were many interpretations and beliefs early Christians and Gnostics had that the time that criticized the way the four main gospels had passed down God’s teachings. People believed what they thought supported their own beliefs and at the end of the day. it's all still just a matter of who we choose to credit.

The real author to the Book of Judas remains anonymous to this day, but I am very glad to have been able to share this with you all :) 

not proofread since i did this at like 4 am    |    x   x   x

[blatantvirucide-a]

@devilscharity​ sent: 🧱 🌎 😱 💛 🤷‍♀️ & 🧸 ! (meme.)

i have to separate them, but thank you for sending so many! this first one is a long one, so buckle up

🧱 how would you describe your muses’ morality? what are their core values?

main verse alex is lawful neutral aligned. that is, they are someone who is driven by their principles, but are neither benevolent nor malevolent enough to tip into the scales of good or evil. does a fair mix of both, arguably — past and present.

it's fair to say alex has seen the worst of the worst. moreso, their circumstances forced them to learn violence. it runs natural to them anyway given their viral nature; they're a lethal bioweapon, top of the food chain. but, there was never any choice for them except means of survival, or death. blackwatch gave alex no other options. there was no bargaining, no surrender. choosing flight never worked out, the choice had to be fight, every time. so assuming it's on the table, alex will nearly always choose violence to solve a problem. it's proven effective, and they have no regrets over slaughtering gentek personnel for their hand in events.

this gets tempered only somewhat when alex learns patience, and gets a little change in perspective. at their base, alex is incredibly black and white — judgemental really, but that's because most of their views were shaped by the mistakes of theirs and others. it's a cluttered perspective. reactionary, almost. alex's stint in containment cleared some thoughts, and muddied others; half a year is time enough for both introspection and overthinking.

in my canon-divergent verse for alex, my main verse, they make the decision that dana is better off without them. because they think they failed her, and are furthermore just a virus wearing her brother's skin. (shout out to this thread i have going with my buddy sketch where their dana is confronting alex.)

though arguably a poor decision, alex loves her — it hurt them to make that decision, but it's genuinely what they thought was best. dana mercer is alex’s anchor; in every sense pivotal to their growth and future choices. she is what it is to have family and to sacrifice, to fight for others. an alex without dana’s influence would be irrevocably different. (like my mass effect verse alex.)

alex shoulders burdens and failures heavily. this means they're quick to admit fault, which enables them to learn from their mistakes, but they haven't reached a balance. alex's experience denotes that people die when they make a mistake, so failure can't be a process of exploration and learning like it is for someone with a more mundane life.

and all their mistakes are theirs alone to live with. sometime back i did this ( WHAT ARE YOU THE GOD OF? ) just for fun, and what alex got was the patron of amends. which i love, it's so perfect. i’m going to highlight some snippets from it.

GOD OF THE STRENGTH TO STILL SHAKING HANDS, GOD OF REALIZING WRONGDOINGS AND PERSONAL FAILURES. 

THE ONE WHO BLESSES THOSE FIGHTING TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT, FALLING ONTO SWORDS AND WALKING THROUGH FIRE IF IT CAN AFFORD EVEN JUST THE SMALLEST CHANCE AT FORGIVENESS.

YOU CANNOT GUARANTEE ACCEPTANCE, ONLY THE SLIVER OF TIME IN WHICH THEY CAN BE SEEN AND HEARD AND ATTEMPT REPENTANCE.

alex certainly doesn’t believe everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, a second chance — but they do believe in the process of righting one’s own wrongdoing. they’re not someone who strives to be good or compassionate, but there are things that they view as inherently wrong, and they'll fight to correct them. arguably alex spends the latter half of the videogame doing that. then, the nuke at the end that they didn’t know they’d come back from; walking through fire.

CORE VALUES: & justice — harsh principles, retribution, and combating the malign.   & redemption — not as absolution, but to fight to correct one's own wrongs, thankless.   & survival — inherently neutral; that done for the sake of survival is not punishable.   & family — love, sacrifice and unity; to be solid ground when those you care about need steadiness.   & change — growth, adaptation and anything in between; mutability for the sake of it.   & freedom — in the most literal sense, simple autonomy.   & tenacity — to grit your teeth and fight, even when standing alone.   & strength — authoritative, resolute and merciless; responsibility to the hard decisions. all-carrying.

[subidol]

Request: Stray Kids React to being pushed up against the wall.

Pairing: Sub!Skz X Dom!Reader

⚠️: Mention of sex

A/N: One of my recents, uploaded. I should be updating soon with an NCT Jaemin fic, and a Renjun one. But you know who I really wanna write about too? The Boyz New and WayV YangYang 🥵💘

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

I.N

♡ Poor baby maknae would be so surprised and flustered that it might render him speechless.

♡ He was just going about his day, being his adorable self when you saw him smiling cutely at you from across the room.

♡ It seemed innocent enough but honestly, all you wanted to do was wipe that boyish grin from his face and fuck him against the dance practice room mirror.

♡ Next thing he knew, your arms had him pinned to the wall, and knees trapping his legs.

♡ Jeongin's first reaction was to squeak in horror until you began kissing at his neck.

♡ "Noona....what are you- nngh...stop, the others are here..."

♡ 100% screaming in embarrassment but secretly liked it tbh.

♡ And you'd be like "Don't think you'll get away with being so darn precious. God, I don't know whether to cuddle and praise you or fuck you raw."

♡ That sentence would have him dead lmao, but you better live up to it.

♡ "T-then why choose, (Y-Y/N)..."

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Seungmin

★ SeungMEAN was asking to be cornered let's be real here.

★ Honestly who did he think he was when you heard him gossiping to Minho about how you couldn't control him.

★ "Ahaha, (Y/N) is such a cute girl~ trying to keep me from doing things she doesn't like~ well I'm going to drink whether she likes it or not."

★ Bratty little shit.

★ He was so confident about misbehaving around you that he didn't realise that being intoxicated with you wasn't a good idea.

★ You allowed him to drink and once he was drunk, used that to your advantage, you she devil.

★ You'd push him against the wall, as he moaned in surprise.

★ "G-get off me (Y/N)...really, I'm drunk, stop itttt..."

★ "So you say I can't control you, honey? Then what's this? You can't move."

★ Oh no sweet Seungmin has entered the building; good boy activate.

★ "Y-you do...you own me, Jagiya.."

★ He's so sweet when he's trapped in your embrace and unable to fight back!

★ That doesn't mean he'd get away with it!; you'd snatch his glass from his hand and pour the wine down his shirt.

★ "Oops...I told you not to drink, baby. I spilled it. Strip, now. I'll lick it up instead."

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Felix

♥︎ Okay, being pushed up against the wall would definitely push his buttons because he'd get awkward and creepy on you lol.

♥︎ My idea is that It'd happen when you were playing a game or he was running away from you, and you'd catch up, thus trapping him against you.

♥︎ "Ahaha, sunshine, what are you doing?"

♥︎ He's not oblivious, he knows it's turning you on as much as it is him.

♥︎ Wants to make a move but at the same time wants to reference memes in weird situations.

♥︎ So it'd be you who'd press your lips together. In that moment he'd become like a little kitten, purring beneath you, surrendering completely.

♥︎ It makes him feel tiny.

♥︎ "Oh fuck, (Y/N)"

♥︎ Don't forget the deep voice

♥︎ Loves the sound of your breaths mingling together and faces so close.

♥︎ Overall, Felix has a weak spot for being pushed against a wall...especially if you fuck him against it hehehe.

♥︎ "You're so pretty Lixie. Letting me have complete control.

♥︎ Until one of the other members catch you, then he'll be getting tortured by everyone for months and the cringe will be stuck in his head forever.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Han

☆ Good boy™️

☆ Jisung really doesn't like being intimidated and pushed against the wall because he prefers you to be gentle.

☆ He's such a good boy, so you don't need to be rough with him, just treat him carefully and love him 🤧

☆ "Have I done something wrong? Please be gentle...I'm a good boy, Mommy."

☆ Wouldn't mind it if his legs were wrapped around your waist, holding him securely against the wall and making him feel safe in your embrace.

☆ "Mommy is nice and warm.."

☆ The only time he's a brat is when he has you pinned to the wall, giving you affection and kisses without permission.

☆ THEN it's time for punishment! He's so cute, how dare he!!!!

☆ "You're so cute, baby. Sometimes I want to just trap you under me, and watch as you wriggle about in terror. But it's a good thing you're an obedient boy so I don't have to."

☆ Praise his body and kiss him all over in that position!!! Can't stress this enough!!

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Hyunjin

♣︎ Hyunjinnie thinks that being pushed against the wall is a very intimate thing and he loves affection so doesn't see it any differently from any other skinship.

♣︎ But be warned: initiating this may get you squished in cuddles and activating a very clingy baby.

♣︎ "You're so amazing, Jagiya! I love you so muchhhhhhhh!"

♣︎ Don't be fooled though, because he can go from cutesy sweetheart to chaotic sexy because the H in Hyunjin stands for hot mess.

♣︎ He's all soft when you kiss him against the wall until you GRAB. HIS. HAIR. His long fucking beautiful hair.

♣︎ Then the sinful goddamn moans that come from his mouth...yikes.

♣︎ "Harder. Hurt me. I dare you."

♣︎ Sweaty, being dominated by you, humiliated of how weak he gets, this is a sight to die for.

♣︎ Now you're the one weak in the knees!

♣︎ He'll turn the tables so that you're now defenceless, but his submissive nature still shines as he lowers himself on his knees for you, ready to pleasure your body.

♣︎ "What did I do to deserve you, huh?"

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Changbin

♧ Yeah don't expect Changbin to be too enthusiastic about this...

♧ He already gets teased for his height and now you're using it against him by pinning him to the wall.

♧ It's not that he wouldn't like it in private but to annoy him in front of his members or staff...eek he's not impressed lol.

♧ But it's not like he has a choice anyways 😂.

♧ Binnie is like a closet sub and feels uncomfortable with liking you take control but it's just his insecurities talking.

♧ "Stop it (Y/N). I have to work on this song, quit bothering me."

♧ You have to coach him into realising it's okay for him to be open and vulnerable with you.

♧ "Binnie, go up against the wall for me? I want to kiss you."

♧ Aww he's so cute being overwhelmed with your affection.

♧ He still doesn't like being cornered but prefers to be pinned to the bed bc like at least it's comfy ahaha.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Lee Know

♪ We all know that Minho is a brat so really it's no surprise he had this all planned out.

♪ Usually when you're mad you pin his arms back, attacking the neck before fucking his brains out.

♪ so good at sexually frustrating you, it's easy to say that he had no problem getting punished, and in a special place too.

♪ "You fucking slut! Dancing in the mirror and teasing me so bad."

♪ Was he gonna gets away with that?!

♪ And what better way to express your horny rage than cornering him to the mirror, back hitting it's cold surface

♪ "What are you going to do, Jagiya? Stop me?"

♪ He's asking for it!!!

♪ Minho will fight back the moment you pin him against the dance practice room mirror, until you have to spank him and roughly toss him around and slap him.

♪ That's what he wants; to be put in his place. He gets what he wants anyway.

♪ "Face the goddamn mirror. I want you to see how much of a whore you are as I fill you up with my girl cock."

♪ Pegging him as he savours the sight of it 🥵.

♪ His whole body pressed against the wall, he loves the control you have.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Bang Chan

♢ Chris would think it's adorable how you try to push him so he's back to the wall, as if you had any strength over him.

♢ "Aww, babe, you're so cute! Look at my arms! Can you really win over my strength?"

♢ It's exactly for that reason that he lets you have your way with him and doesn't fight because why would he?

♢ He's a switch so he's more than happy to be roughly pushed around by you, especially because it doesn't hurt him.

♢ He might become a crackhead and make jokes if you randomly do it tho.

♢ Thinks that he's the one in control but when your hands slip under his shirt, fondling with his body, he's wEAK lol.

♢ Might beg you to push him against the wall instead of it naturally happening.

♢ Just a normal thing for you two.

♢ OMG him whispering things into your ear as you nuzzled into his neck.

♢ "Aren't you a dirty girl, wanting to dominate me like this all the time. You're getting me needy, you gonna take responsiblility?"

♢ Felix the other Aussie crackhead would take the piss 😭 rip chan 2020

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

[muselexum]

@lunalyt​​ sent: [ wound ] my  muse  patches  and  bandages  a  wound  your  muse  has  gotten ( marco w / akane )

[ meme ] -> word prompts compilation

                She had known that defecting from the marines would come with consequences, and yet as much as she thought she was prepared to face them, finding herself split off from her crew and in the depths of a marine brig, tortured during interrogation and being sent off for execution was still something she couldn’t emotionally prepare for. That tattoo of the Whitebeard crew she had gotten, that she had been and still was proud of, cemented that her allegiances had changed. She could lie about her relationship with the crew, but she had no desire to.

                She knew she was going to die in this situation, so right now her only hope was that the Whitebeard Pirates didn’t think she had betrayed them, or that her time spent with them was a lie. She briefly wondered how much time had passed since she had been drawn away from them and captured. Perhaps three? There was no concept of time down where she was kept chained.

                It was only by the grace of one of her former and only friends in the marines choosing to unlock her cage in the middle of the night, that she had a chance at surviving. If she had been caught in this situation even a year ago she would have accepted death, but now she had a home and loved ones to return to-- if they would have her once more.

                Escaping was far easier said than done. By the time the two had reached the deck, it was full out chaos and her friend was killed in collateral during the fighting. One moment she felt a deep guilt and fury, and the next many on board had collapsed. Too engrossed to take full notice of what had happened, Akane continued to engage in battle with the Captain regardless of the mangled and limp left arm she had been left with from the torture he had put her through.

                The one-on-one fight ended with a crushed skull and her being the only conscious one left on board. Now that the fighting was over she wasn’t sure of what to do, feeling helpless and too wired. Could she manhandle and sail the entire ship on her own? Unlikely. It would not be a good idea to stay on the marine ship anyway. Did she take one of the emergency life boats and gamble the seas?

                It seemed that she wouldn’t have to make that decision as a glowing blue light appeared on the horizon of the night sky. Had they been searching for her? She knew immediately who it was and yet despite how relieved she wanted to feel, a part of her felt some worry that he had been sent to find her, to settle the score for what could only appear as her deserting the crew after swearing loyalty. If that was the case she would surrender her life without a fight. She’d have nothing left to live for.

                Yet he proved that was a shameful doubt on her part when he swooped down onto the deck and almost immediately began assessing the situation and healing some of her more serious wounds to the best of his ability, briefly passing over her left arm. Even she knew that it was unsalvageable, burned, broken and battered beyond repair. That did not matter right now though. She could deal with it later, for all she could focus on now was making sure Marco knew where her loyalties lied.

                “Marco... I...” All the words she wanted to say could not form on her tongue, and instead she heaved, the fear and exhaustion from the past few days finally pouring out into a desperate sob, “You guys are really-- I... I love you all! It’s not a lie! So please-- allow me to come home!”

[lizardkingeliot]

First Line Meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

tagged by @phoenix-ascended thank you!!!! 💖

Okay SO. I’m gonna cheat a little bit here. The first nine I’m going to post are all going to be from the first nine chapters of time cast a spell on you (but you won’t forget me) but to be fair the chapters are so long they each might as well be a story all their own lmao. ANYWAY. Here we go. I’ll post the first paragraph from each I guess, in order of chapter number obvs:

1. Quentin shook out the tension in his hands. He didn’t understand why it wasn’t getting any easier. For days on end he’d been trying to perfect the illumination spell the rest of his fellow First Years had nailed in a matter of hours. But no matter how he tried, Quentin couldn’t seem to make anything more than a spark.

2. Quentin waited until Eliot was asleep to slip out of bed and hastily tug his clothes back on. The illuminated screen of his phone told him it was just past 12am. Clutching his shoes to his chest, he opened the door as quietly as he could manage and tip-toed out into the hall, all but running to his room and clicking the lock shut firmly behind him.

3. Dry-mouthed and groggy, Quentin woke in Eliot’s bed alone. He groaned, groping around for his phone to check the time for a long moment before remembering he’d left it in his room. Quentin rubbed at his eyes, rolling over and up to his feet, muscles he didn’t even know existed screaming as he went. He picked his bathrobe up from the floor and pulled it on, then tottered down the hall to empty his bladder and brush his teeth and gulp down frantic handfuls of water from the bathroom sink.

4. Tuesday morning was hell. Quentin woke just before eleven, empty as a husk. Filthy, all used up. His thighs sticking together where Eliot’s come had dried there in the night. Quickly realizing he’d already missed his first class of the day, Quentin pressed his face into his pillow, pulled the covers up over his head, and surrendered to the blank comfort of late morning sleep.

5. Quentin couldn’t feel his face, or much of his body for that matter. Which was… fine. It was great. It was fucking phenomenal. As long as it meant he also couldn’t feel the sinkhole that had formed in the center of his chest. The one that had been there for days, weeks, months, fucking years. He couldn’t feel anything at all.

6. Quentin felt a lever turn inside his chest, the source of his magic eking out a spark. Enough at least to send a message to Julia back at Brakebills. One of those little enchanted paper airplanes they’d learned his first week in Practical Applications that he never could get to fly quite right. He scrawled his SOS on a cocktail napkin and watched it flutter away like the world’s saddest butterfly. The universe took pity on him. Quentin figured he was probably due. 7. Christmas morning was a lackluster affair.

Exchanging gift cards over coffee and devouring great mounds of Ted Coldwater’s Famous Ham and Eggs while still in their pajamas. After, Julia and Quentin lay on the living room floor and Skyped with James, his grandparents waving hello from Pennsylvania in the background. They opened the stack of impersonal and overly-extravagant gifts from Julia’s mother that had been delivered to the house the night before. Quentin received a pair of cashmere socks and a leather belt with a shiny silver buckle.

8. Quentin stood at the bathroom sink, watching his face shift in the steamy mirror glass. Stark naked save for the towel looped around his hips. Hair dripping in cool, fat beads down onto the planks of his shoulders. So clean he swore he could feel himself sparkling from the inside out.

9. Quentin tossed his phone down onto the floor and leaned back into Eliot’s heat. “It’s almost like you want my dad to know I’m faking sick so I can stay in and let you fuck me until I pass out.”

Some patterns I guess: I love how chapters 2-4 all open with Quentin in bed after hooking up with eliot but all with very different vibes. In chapter 2, he’s just experienced subspace for the first time without having any idea that’s what actually happened to him and he is having A Time. In chapter 3, they had a very intense hook-up the night before and Quentin is sneaking out again, but this time he fully plans on returning right after. And in chapter 4, we see the joy of their beginnings at Columbia contrasted hard with the misery of where Quentin is at Brakebills.

ALSO 2/3 of the chapters begin with Quentin’s name which feels right considering just how deep into his headspace we are in this fic.

Okay. Anyway. Moving on:

10. Eliot loved watching Quentin lose himself in a moment.

It could be anything really: mastering a brand new spell; savoring something decadent and sweet; fussing with his hair when he thought no one was looking; focusing very hard on making himself a cocktail and getting the ratios just right; ranting about his Fillory books; reading his Fillory books, to himself but especially aloud; reading anything; riding dick...

That last one held a particularly special place in Eliot’s heart.

(from but i would die for you in secret aka the one where eliot is pretty sure quentin is only using him for his dick. spoiler alert: he’s not they’re just idiots)

11. Teddy was turning six years old. There was nothing in the world he loved more than stories.

His favorite was a version of Lord of the Rings Quentin had cobbled together from memory. He must have told it to their son a hundred times before it occurred to Eliot he could contribute more to story time than ogling Quentin’s hands while he spoke, or popping in to suggest when the Balrog should actually be making an appearance, Quentin.

(from in a land far away aka the mosaic fic where eliot makes margo hand puppets for teddy)

12. The words came out of Quentin’s mouth without a single coherent thought behind them.

“I’m just about to catch a movie with my boyfriend!”

There, outside the coffee shop on Eighth Avenue, Quentin’s maybe-friend from high school whose name he couldn’t even remember shot him a wide-mouthed grin. “Oh, that’s wonderful!” she said. “Which movie? My wife Danielle and I don’t have any plans for the afternoon and we’d love to tag along. Isn’t that right sweetie?”

(from your name like a song (i sing to myself) aka the one where quentin’s memory is shit and he and eliot pretend to be boyfriends in a post-monster world)

13. Eliot dropped the last box onto the floor. “Daddy’s wardrobe is safe at last,” he said, lowering himself down into the gold chair with a sigh. “Though I can’t seem to shake the terrible feeling that Todd raided my closet at the Cottage before I could get to it all.”

Quentin surveyed the damage from his spot on the sofa: there were at least seven large packing boxes bursting at their seams scattered around the penthouse. “I don’t know how you would even be able to tell. I’m pretty sure one of those boxes is just vests.”

Eliot quirked a brow in his direction. “Some of us are cultivating an aesthetic, Quentin,” he said. “And I didn’t see you complaining when I let you dress me for dinner last night.”

Quentin couldn’t help but smile. “I wouldn’t call picking between two pre-approved ties dressing you, El.”

“I’m also counting the fact that you said my ass looked great in my new pants.”

(from the parentheses (all clicking shut behind you) aka the suspender porn fic)

14. The night Quentin Coldwater died, a brand new star appeared in the sky over Brakebills. A little brighter than Venus, it stayed fixed in the same position for weeks on end. Eliot hardly would have noticed such a thing if it hadn’t been for the way that it hummed. Or at least, that’s how it felt. A humming in his bones. An old, familiar presence. Margo thought that he’d gone mad with grief. Alice was the only one who could understand.

(from a myth of devotion aka the one where eliot is sorta icarus and quentin is sorta the sun)

15. It didn’t happen the way Eliot expected it to. He dropped the letter into the mailbox, and pain blossomed in his abdomen so brightly it was like he’d gone supernova.

And everything went dark.

(from by night, beloved, tie your heart to mine aka the one where eliot sends the letter)

16. Eliot stretched out over the mosaic, his shirt riding up just a little as he clicked a yellow tile into place, and Quentin’s pulse leapt in his neck once, twice. Three times. His breath hitched. It was becoming nearly impossible to focus. In the heat of the sun, watching the sweat soak Eliot’s shirt clean-through.

(from i won’t deny (all the things i would do) aka the one where quentin and eliot start hooking up three months into their life at the mosaic)

17. After they decided kissing on the mouth was okay, Quentin and Eliot wanted to do it all the time. In every corner of the penthouse (“If you don’t stop sucking face while I’m trying to eat my sandwich,” Kady said one afternoon, “I’m literally going to feed you to the Baba Yaga.”), outside coffee shops, in between bites at the sushi place in Chelsea that Eliot loved. Once, they went to see a movie they couldn’t even remember the name of just to make out for two blissful, uninterrupted hours in the dark.

(from and a song of praise upon your lips aka part three of the box of chocolates series where quentin and eliot are definitely dating and finally talk about their feelings)

18. Eliot startled awake to something sharp and pointed slamming into his shin. He opened his eyes, and the toe of Margo’s shoe made contact one last time. Pain seared up the side of his leg, and he winced. Jesus, she really did not realize her own strength sometimes. Or the strength of her Jimmy Choo’s.

(from that you may know (the secrets of your heart) aka part two of box of chocolates aka the one where hand stuff is still banging)

19. Eliot Waugh was High King in his blood, and somehow that felt right. When they first arrived in Fillory, Quentin assumed he would be the one to wear the crown. He’d dreamed of it most of his life after all. On the throne in Whitespire, a fleet of talking animals at his disposal, a noble quest waiting around every corner to ferry him away to the next grand, heart-stopping adventure. But when the blade bit into his palm and drew no blood, and Eliot’s came up red, it felt like the final piece of some perfect puzzle clicking into place.

(from and this is the map of my heart aka the one where quentin wants to marry eliot and they have some incredibly filthy sex before everything falls apart)

20. Eliot walked into the penthouse to an eerie quiet. He found Quentin sitting in the kitchen under a dim illumination spell, drinking a beer and poking at the screen of his phone.

“Hey,” Eliot said, setting his shopping bag down on the counter. “Where is everyone?”

Quentin sighed, rubbing at his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. “Out. I don’t know.”

Eliot squinted at him. “You didn’t want to go with them?”

Quentin lifted his eyes, shot Eliot a look. “No.”

(from for love (if it finds you worthy) aka part one of the box of chocolates series)

And I have now been here doing this for so long I no longer have time to try and find anymore patterns lmao BUT I will be tagging: @thelucindac @akisazame @fishfingersandscarves @nellie-elizabeth @freneticfloetry @rubickk7 and anyone else who wants to play!

[the-mighty-glow-cloud]

Quantum Break and Mass Effect for the ask meme

ooohhh two of my biggest fixations, especially recently hehehe

for Quantum Break:

1. The first character I first fell in love with honest to god it was charlie wincott, i would kill and die for that 5'6" king 2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now full disclosure? jack joyce himself, i went into the game expecting him to be a typical bland cishet white man protagonist but i was very pleasantly surprised and i love him so much now after two playthroughs (i really should've expected better from remedy having played alan wake and control beforehand but) 3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t i'm not super in tune with the general consensus about qb characters (comes with being five years late to the game lmao) but i would assume there's probably a significant number of people who genuinely like paul serene? i absolutely can not stand that close-minded son of a bitch holy shit he makes me so angry always, like just because you've been to the end of time doesn't mean you know everything you bastard 4. The character I love that everyone else hates i think this would also be charlie, again i'm not very familiar with the general opinions of the characters but i feel like i might be an outlier in thinking he very much deserved better (especially if you choose control at the last junction?? like holy shit my boy didn't deserve to get got like that, surrender was absolutely the better ending) 5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer i'm not sure i have a good answer for this, like i genuinely love pretty much everyone in qb? remedy does an amazing job writing their characters imo 6. The character I would totally smooch um yes hello absolutely charlie and jack and beth 7. The character I’d want to be like beth hands down, she's That Bitch and i aspire to her level of planning and sheer resolve, she basically carried the entire plan to avert the end of time on her own back 8. The character I’d slap PAUL SERENE PAUL SERENE PAUL SERENE also dr. amaral, i understand that sending beth forward to the end of time was a crucial component of repairing the fracture but damn what a fucking dick move in the moment 9. A pairing that I love i don't do a whole lot of shipping personally (in any context, not just qb,) but i am kind of considering writing some jack/charlie into my qb/control fic so do with that what you will 10. A pairing that I despise i assume there are people who ship jack and paul and i absolutely can not make peace with that i will not accept it, i love me a good enemies to lovers arc but i just do not like it for the two of them

for Mass Effect:

1. The first character I first fell in love with Tali 100%, i loved her from the moment i saw her and she ended up being who i romanced with my first shepard (who i really should finish replaying me3 with in legendary edition, i got very distracted with quantum break lmao) 2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now i'd say legion, i thought they would be kind of boring at first but after my first couple of runs through the series i really came to love them 3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t probably thane, i think he's ok but i can't say i love him :/ also if any of y'all love ashley i'm going to fight you i fucking hate her with a passion and have done so for like eight years ever since i played me1 the first time 4. The character I love that everyone else hates i can't really think of a character everyone hates, feel free to tell me your hated mass effect characters and i will say whether i like them or not 5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer probably also thane, i used to sympathize with his whole situation with kolyat but unfortunately due to personal reasons i no longer do (': 6. The character I would totally smooch tali absolutely 7. The character I’d want to be like probably liara, i really relate to her enthusiasm about a niche research topic and fervor for pursuing that in the face of criticism 8. The character I’d slap (obligatory khalisah al-jilani joke) but fr the illusive man can catch these hands i hate his smug ass so much 9. A pairing that I love personally i think tali and liara should kiss, i will not elaborate 10. A pairing that I despise despise is a strong word but i've personally never been all that into shakarian, i love garrus but i've just never been a huge fan of the pairing

[solastia]

Day 19

Break My Stride, Yoongi x Jungkook, ABO, 4/4 Chapters, 14k words

YOU KNOW MY DRAMATIC ASS SAVED THIS FOR A FRIDAY! If y'all thought my screeching was annoying before, be prepared for about 10x more screeching and indecipherable noises. As the very wise Deadpool once said, “MAXIMUM EFFORT!”

First off, congratulations because this was your first fic to reach 10k hits (and it’s now at 34K hits, whaaaa??!! A few hundred of those may possibly be from me...possibly...probably...most definitely! lmao)

You know my fave ship is Yoonmin (I don’t take shipping irl seriously, don’t come for me plz) but I absolutely LOVE the dynamics between Kookie and Yoongi in this fic. Your writing, the plot, the dialogue, the whole thing is just top tier deliciousness every step of the way. It is scrumptious, mouth watering, exquisite, uuugh *chef’s kiss* bellissimo!

Ok, LOTS OF SPOILERS BECAUSE THIS FIC IS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FICTIONAL STORY AND Y’ALL CAN’T STOP ME, MUAHAHAHA!

In the beginning of the story, you create a sense of home for the audience. We feel like we know these characters, we get a sense that they’ve been a group of friends for a very long time, and they each hold a special part of each other’s lives, and it’s freaking beautiful.

“Yoongi shook his head and started picking the olives off his slice of pizza. When he turns to his right to give the olives away, he realizes why he’d felt something was wrong.”

You see! He hadn’t even realized that Kookie was missing, but he felt like something was off.

Oh! And I wanted to ask you about the idea for a mating run! I’ve never read anything like this before, it was an interesting concept to think about. And this would be Yoongi’s 8th run! Oh babey, he was just waiting for the right mate…

“He wasn’t sure what it was, but the image of Jungkook finding someone during the run made him feel…itchy.”

Our boi is already jealous at just the idea of Kookie finding a mate (other than him ofc, but he doesn’t know that yet, bwahahahaha!!)

“Good idea, you’re going to need all the rest you can get,” Seokjin says with an ominous smirk.”

I SHOULD GIVE YOU THE SAME WARNING SEOKJINNIE!!!

“There were even booth setups for merchandise and food.”

OMG, I could see Hobi or Jin buying some cheesy “I survived the 20__ Run and All I Got Was This Shirt”. Or maybe a beer cozy!

“No, he said that would be pointless because his mate’s a cheating cheater that plays dirty. He said the chances of them covering their scent were high. He’s making sure his den is ready,” Seokjin scoffed.

Yoongi accepted the drink Jimin handed him and chuckled. “Sounds like I might actually like them.”

“You have no idea,” Jin said with a snort”

Yoongi, are you so jaded, so blind by your general saltiness that you are not understanding the very obvious clues being thrown your way?!?!?! Kookie, where are you? Put this man in his place please!!

And then when he was told that Kook bought that house he’d had his eyes on for years, uughhh, I was hurting for our Yoonie!

“Yoongi suddenly felt like crying, but he settled for collapsing onto the bench and clenching his fist.”

AAAHHH! But wait a little while Yoongi, I promise all this hurt will be over soon!

“Suddenly, Namjoon growled menacingly, startling everyone. Hoseok looked over to the spot where Namjoon was steadily staring, curiosity in his gaze before it too hardened and he started glaring with bared teeth. A random city Alpha that had been approaching them instantly halted, hands out in surrender.”

HOW COULD I FORGET THIS SUB-PLOT!!! Jin was over there laughing at how oblivious Yoongi was, and he isn’t any better, is he?!? Imagine having Joon and Hobi scaring the competition away like that??!! I would take them home immediately!

“There’s a huge plush rug and plenty of blankets, big fluffy pillows, a little stash of food and entertainment. I even put scent blockers around so no one would smell anything coming from inside,” Yoongi preened as he thought of his perfect hideaway.

Yoongi would def be one to make his little den as comfortable as possible! But I just thought of something. In your earlier description of Yoongi’s apartment, he said it was a bit stark and lacked any real decor. BUT he went out of his way to make this den as comfortable as possible. He bought a string of fairy lights, and he had to go to the big city to get them! It’s almost like it was fate, or maybe deep down he knew that something was going to happen, and he was inadvertently nesting! (please insert “I’ve connected the dots” meme here)

“He was sure there were plenty of Alphas running around with those piercings and Kook’s ginormous honker of a nose.”

:|

Was it really Kook? Or is our boy so in love that he sees Kookie wherever he goes? Lmao!

“Yoongi was about to show this guy that he wasn’t someone to be messed with and he wouldn’t be dragged off to be someone’s good little Omega bitch. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the taser he’d packed just in case.”

OMG, Yoongi is not messing around, absolutely zero chill!

“It seemed presenting had changed him physically as well, shooting him up a couple inches so he towered over Yoongi even more than usual. His arms and legs were rippling with muscle that even the black tracksuit he was wearing couldn’t hide. His face was still the same though; the innocent grin an interesting contrast with the buff build.”

SIR!! My heart cannot take this punishment! And OFC he’s a Prime Alpha, Kookie doesn’t know how to half-ass anything!

“And just like he had a million times before, Yoongi gave in like the soft ass bitch he was.”

He really is soft for all of them!!! Yoongi will let them do whatever they want with him, he’ll complain the entire way but we all know he secretly loves it!

“Yoongi dared a quick look behind him, audibly gulping at the sight of the Alpha staring at his ass like he was a starving man at an all you can eat buffet. Jungkook was grinding his jaw and had his nails dug into the dirt like he was trying to control himself.”

I mean, we’ve all seen the Yoonbooty. It does look very biteable. Relatable AF Kook!

“Jungkook continued poking around in things; picking up a candle to sniff, trying to sneak a peek into the duffle bag, ruffling around in the bag of snacks - all while stealing glances at the bed in the middle of the room. “

WAY TO NOT BE OBVIOUS KOOK!!!

“What are you doing, Kook? You’re wasting time here when you should be out there chasing down your mate. They are probably wondering where you are.”

“They know where I am.”

“You told them you were going to hang out with me and they were fine with it?”

“Hyung, you’re usually so smart. Think about it.”

Every time I read this, I die a little bit inside (in a good way, I promise). Yoongi’s whole world is about to be turned upside down, and he has no idea!!!

“The house…”

Jungkook’s eyes softened, smiling fondly at him. “I bought it for you, hyung. Whether you choose me today or not, it’s yours.”

I cry.

What a courting gift!!! Kook doesn’t understand subtlety, does he??!! And how selfless is this? This is a no-strings attached gift, given to Yoongi out of love.

I cry.

“I love the way we are now, equals with a little bit of babying me on the side,” Jungkook grins when Yoongi snorts, shaking his head fondly at the other.”

I would like to see that please.

AND THEN THIS LINE:

“Omega,” Jungkook says softly, so rife with emotion that Yoongi can hear everything he’s trying to say in just that one word. “May I enter your nest?”

This is it, this is as far as I go fam. I have been destroyed with six whole words. How can such a simple statement hold so much emotion, so much hopeful pleading?

And then the whole interaction on the bed! Yoongi asking if he wants to play cards (bwahahaha, sure Jan), Kookie being prepared to wipe away all the descenting salve, Kook getting scent high, YOONGI’S GRANDPA RUN, those first initial uses of pet names, everything was so intimate and playful. It was beautiful!

“I bet I could easily pick you up and fuck you against a wall sometime if you wanted. Maybe even have you straddle my shoulders and I could suck you off that way,” Jungkook muses so matter of factly despite the subject matter, and Yoongi can feel himself get wetter by the second.”

Aaaaaaand there’s the emotional whiplash I’ve come to love from you!

“Whatever you want. You’re in charge.”

Kookie being selfless again! I cannot! It’s about these little things that are done between partners that really matter. Kook is a newly presented virgin Prime Alpha in the midst of a claiming, and his first priority is still making sure Yoongi feels good. He’s giving him all the power here.

“Good,” Yoongi yawns loudly and throws a couple of blankets over them, tangling their legs together. “Later we can try the thing with the nipples.”

Again, I would like to see that please.

“Suddenly, Yoongi’s eyes shoot open and he gasps.

“Oh shit! Your brother is going to kill me!”

Jungkook merely laughs”

😂😂😂

“I’ll give you some meat,” Yoongi grumbles playfully as he climbs off the bed, stretching his aching limbs.

“I mean, I’m down for anything,” Jungkook giggles.”

Not to sound like a broken record, but...I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT PLEASE

“Jungkook walked straight towards the first woman he saw with a clipboard, blindsiding the stunned woman with one of his lethal smiles while he wrapped an arm around Yoongi’s waist to pull him close.

“Hi! We both need mating packets.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes because he could tell that Jungkook was practically bragging instead of just asking like a normal person.”

He’s practically bragging about Yoongi being his mate! I have a feeling Kookie is going to be unbearable to be around in the upcoming weeks.

And then we get a teeny tiny peek at the Nam-Jin-Hobi subplot and ooomg I hope you’re able to explore this particular pairing in the future. There is so much potential there for steamy/fluffy scenes!

“I just mean, like, soulmates. You know? Maybe we were supposed to meet to help each other find our mates. Or maybe we are all soulmates in various forms.”

DON’T! DON’T HURT ME THIS WAY, I CANNOT AND WILL NOT SURVIVE!

AAAAH this fic was wonderful! It feels complete the way you ended it, but I am definitely still craving more! Good job, dayumm!

It still amazes me how many people have read this one lol. But yeah, this is one of my favorites too. I do have other side stories that I’m working on for this one, including one from Jk’s birthday and another for Namjinseok.

I just really really love writing people that are so unapologetically whipped. Like, it’s such a major thing for me because in real life there are a ridiculous amount of people that are embarrassed to show how much they care about their SO, and like, why? Why are you even with them if you’re so embarrassed to show them any affection? Show the world that you are proud they choose to be with you, show your person that they are precious. I’m not even saying buy them shit all the time (because for some reason het males seem to think that’s what everyone means). I mean hold their damn hand, write them a note, tell them they are pretty. There’s a reason that a person who technically still identifies as gay man is in a steady relationship with me, a pan woman. And it’s because I fucking treat him like he’s the reason my heart beats and I’m not ashamed to show the world. Ok, I’m ranting now lol. I’ll stop. But you get the picture.

[deathboundinautumn]

@vulpesse​ sends in: ♫ p-please? for either ahri or eto, whoever you feel more inspiration for 🥺🥺🥺

Send me ♫ and I will make a 5-10 SONG PLAYLIST for our muses! (accepting)

Oh Vulpine She...

Its heavily implied Ahri is an important figure in Shinji’s backstory for that verse despite never meeting.  Should they actually meet, he (like everyone else) would be as susceptible to her alluring and tempting aura.  So this here is a little thing thrown together about that and also the fact that he can’t help but shake the familiar feeling she brings.

Catch and Release:

Part Of Me Want to live in a fantasy Quietly Show you everything you'll ever need I hope you'll take it I know you're faking just a little bit Come on and taste it Just get excited 'cause you're giving in 

Thirst Trap

“Mr. Mysterious,” serious  Leading the ride of the riptide Waves are crashing, and smacking Pounding down tonight

Pulling, tugging, drowning in deep echoes Over my scream You let loose with your first hit Leave you with a thirst for nicotine 

So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings

I get a little lonely Get a little more close to me You're the only one who knows me, babe So hot, you're hurtin' my feelings Can't deal

Loverboy

Sunshine, I might be long If I decide you’re wrong  Can’t bare a word from you, loverboy When you decided to love her, boy

False Sympathy (this song just screams Ahri btw)

A hidden truth about the two The more you hate me There's that feeling of unconditional comfort

Becoming myself that someone else hoped for Then someday i'll be able to love Parched and lonely, the self-delusion sympathy

OUTTA MY MIND

Girl, you know you got it easy You got me tossin' and turnin', thinking of what we could be I've been searching for the words But how do I say everything I need to Everything I need to (Huh, yeah) I been tryna get you out of sight and out of mind You been hooked to me for 40 days and 40 nights I know better than to keep checkin' if you're still online I can't help it, I can't help it, no

Her Lies

She said "baby, get down on your knees" I said "babe if you insist" She said "why do you keep seeing things you know that don't exist" I said "baby, I love you, now what can I do, I'll probably love you till the day I die" She said "well pretty honey, if that's true than give me both them, pretty eyes"

Gravity

Lost again Broken and weary Unable to find my way Tail in hand Dizzy and clearly unable to Just let this go

I am surrendering to the gravity and the unknown Catch me, heal me, lift me back up to the sun I choose to live

But wait

PORQUE NO LOS DOS?

Evil Knife Wielding Owl of your Local Community

This ones a little tougher since this more a puppeteer/marionette relationship.  Definitely trying to explore Eto’s side taking a more ‘look how much people have hurt you.  hurt us.  They suck.  Help pls :)”  With Shinji defying/resisting (and likely getting eaten).   

Get this pesky bird of prey outta my face

Falling:

And you don't seem to understand A shame you seemed an honest man And all the fears you hold so dear Will turn to whisper in your ear And you know what they say might hurt you And you know that it means so much And you don't even feel a thing

Overdose

Waiting Hare

Left your stormy days Don't you know you're mine? You see it all behind Don't you see the sky? I want us all together Do you know we're right? You leave us all denied Let you all decide

Dripping With Fire

My feet are planted low Down in here in the shadow of you You've become a danger to me But from down here, I see That you are a liar Dripping with fire

Forty Days

I've tasted seven sins, so they won't let me in I knock knock knock until my knuckles are bruised and raw Stuck in the middle with my blood in a puddle on the floor We made our beds, we'll judge ourselves And only then and there will we disappear to our final resting place What a waste! So many decent people at the gates And no matter where we go, we are not alone When the silence turns to cries of "Why?" What a way to begin: we inherit sin And nobody's going to quench your thirst When the well runs dry, the well runs dry And nobody's going to hold your hand on the day you die

Mastermind (this is mostly me memeing)

A Mastermind Sleeps at night, real easy A Mastermind 'Cause everything he does is by the book A Mastermind Never do a thing irrational Lives forever, these tales are classical

AND FINALLY

One for you just because :)

Faraway

I was walking home from the bar I didn't play out tonight I should have wished apon a star That everything would be alright

So Far

Penny to the floor, Hoping she won’t need persuasion Sticking to my tongue, It’s just another bet that I’m placing Dreaming of before, Now I’m on a cold vibration Are you all alone? I think so

TOOGOODTOBETRUE

And now you're shaken from something Here come the assumptions You say you've got skin on the table But you're not afraid of Friends that you no longer reply to You keep in a vacuum Then lay down in deep isolation Hope you can make it

Golden Heart

Holding onto your own voice How can you forget? Hide another secret in your head "It's a game," I always thought There's hardly any thought More common than to wish we're not

A Better Place, A Better Time

I know that you think that you're on your own But just know that I'm here and I'll lead you home If you let me She said "forget me" But I can't

[pcrplelightning]

[purple-spring]

Okay, I saw the tag on your recent post...I want to know your top Met looks of all time!

SCREEEEEECH THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT POST OF MY LIFE THANK YOU.

Disclaimer: I have to divide this into “awards” otherwise I will die trying to choose. Hahaha.

Disclaimer 2: Cole and Lili are obviously up there for me, but I’m gonna leave them out for the sake of this countdown.

1. Weird and Wonderful: Solange, 2015. 

Solange and Rihanna have been in constant competition these past few years for the Met Gala MVP (with Zendaya now arguably poised to pip them at the post). Rihanna is forever my girl, and she will always get all the accolades, but while she’s a chart-topping single, Solange is a jazz suite - intricate and elaborate and complex and a little odd. She’s not afraid of leaning into the weird, in fact she thrives on it, and this structural Giles dress is a great example of that.

2. Vintage Icon: SJP and Alexander Mcqueen, 2006 

Look. As much as I love SH, I don’t know if any pair could top this combination of pure star power: Sarah Jessica Parker and the late, great Alexander Mcqueen. Please, please, please research Mcqueen if you can. Please look up his impact on fashion, and SJP’s, and see why this was the perfect storm. More than a look, this was a moment.

3. Princess Moment: Claire Danes, 2016.

Look. This is just picking a straight-up winner and I’m not even embarrassed about it. I gasped when this made its debut on the carpet. Posen’s signature pleats and drapes set off the shimmery tech perfectly, and it was just a beautiful way to show off Claire Danes while Homeland was still having a moment. Insanely stunning.

4. Best Male: Chadwick Boseman, 2018

My love for Chadwick is well-documented on this blog. I nearly cried over this last year, because it was just so perfect - the culmination of Black Panther’s dream run and a playful, brilliant take that was, sure, a little on-the-nose but a wonderful sign for men’s fashion. Chadwick’s outfit is like, hey, we sure as hell can have fun, too. This makes me really look forward to what the men have in store this year!

5. On Theme But Super Pretty: Sienna Miller, 2013

Keeping in mind that this was the year that Gwyneth Paltrow turned up in a stupid freaking PINK DRESS for a PUNK-THEMED GALA, I remember having such affection for this look because it was just so effortless, requiring no backbending to fit into theme. Just look at it - it’s punk princess turns up to the Met. That’s it. Nothing takes away from the gloriousness of that jacket, but everything somehow adds to it. This gets prettier every year that I look back at it.

6. Shutting It Down: Rihanna, 2015

The year was 2015. None of us had any idea that we would soon be surrendering all of our hard-earned money to the sportswear, beauty and lingerie empire of FENTY. Rihanna hadn’t realised “ANTI” yet, arguably her best album ever. She was an emerging force in fashion, but it wasn’t until her 2014 CFDA Swarovski-only outfit that we all kinda thought, oh okay, Robyn, hey. 

Then THIS knocked it out of the park.

Consider the logistics: this thing took TWO years to create by hand. Everyone else went for the tired Eastern cliches at the “China: Through The Looking Glass” Gala but Rihanna did her research, sought Guo Pei out and wore this and forever changed the Met. Yes, it was memed endlessly, but that’s the point. The Met should start conversations about fashion, not fill up some ho-hum “Who Wore It Best” column in OK! Magazine. It was ridiculous and luxurious and a total risk, and it paid off. Undoubtedly my top Met outfit of all time.

[datura-foxglove]

Let’s have your opinions on Hibiki then lol

Oh boy you have opened the floodgates, be ready :D

First impression : Bunny boy! He doesn’t look as eye catching as the first DS MC, but-- ohhh his dialogue options are funny, wait you can choose THAT!?

Impression now : Best. Troll. Ever. At least from Shin Megami Tensei series that I know of. This guy is living of meme live and is unashamed by it. The fact that this guy knows Spanish just to troll people is gold. HIS. DIALOGUE. OPTIONS. DUDE. I have shown some of them on Yamato’s post but here is some of my favorite :

“Yes. Let me die.”

“Awwwww yeaaaahhhh.”

“Booon-jour!”

“BRING IT!”

“I call it dead meat!”

“Shrinky-shrinky!”

“Yamato said he loves me.”

“Be gentle, sweet Fumi.”

“Act sexy for me.”

“Rainbooooowwwwww.”

“Pervert!”

“ *pants Daichi* “

“Andddd... I’m out.”

There are a lot more, but these are my absolute favorite (and I also have forgotten the rest of them. I really need to replay the game aaaaa---). This absolute mad man keep spouting off joke left and right, rarely showing off his serious side. The only time he doesn’t make jokes is when he is in the heat of battle or someone is in danger. Hibiki also has balls of steel because his courage doesn’t only cover fighting aliens with demons that he tamed, but also approaching people that normal person would think twice to approach (Yamato, Fumi, Keita, etc). Especially Keita, who keep being hostile (unlike Yamato and Fumi who warmed up to him once he showed them that he is a capable person worth their time) Hibiki keeps being friendly, or even goading him off. In this case, Hibiki showed that he is capable of manipulation. Since Hibiki is a blank slate main character as is general to SMT series, we don’t see much of his past. But according to Daichi, he is smart and popular. His dialogue choices that the players choose are what shaped his personality, but since there is dialogue choices for him to have sharp perspective, it’s arguably canon. The fact that in just seven days a normal high school student can represent the will of humankind is amazing, not to mention that he gathered people with enormous possibilities from all kind of lives with just talking and bonding with them, Unlike Persona series where the protagonists have special power as a wild card or destiny for it like the protagonist from the first DS, Hibiki is completely normal human. But he could achieve the same greatness as them (killing the administrator of the universe? In one of the endings he can even became one if he so wished). Just like Ren in Persona 5, Hibiki has too much personality to be truly blank slate protagonist, but what we have in canon is truly lovable. He also loves his newfound friends and will try his hardest to save them all, but in case he failed, he didn’t let their death became a burden to him and instead became even more determined to right what is wrong with the world to return their peaceful days. That is an admirable strength, even if he could be seen as a bit cold sometimes.

Favorite moments : Well, I mean... every trolling moments when he let loose of the meme trash lord within himself is my favorite. But I also love some of the bonding moments he shared with his friends, but of course my favorite is his shared moments with Yamato because I’m biased. Shush.

Idea for a story : Like I said on Yamato’s post, I am trying to write a crossover between DS series and Persona. It will be more focused on Persona 5 and Devil Survivor 2, where Ren can use both Persona and Demon Summoning App and that he is an undercover agent from JPs. It’s still not even have drafts yet since I’m still connecting the dots between the DS universe and Persona, and I also have to replay both games so I can remember the casts from DS series, but I have quite a lot of ideas already.

Unpopular opinion : While I liked the fact that the animation gave us background for Hibiki’s past, I still don’t like the animation. WHERE IS MY MEME TRASH LORD!? WHY DO YOU GIVE US THIS CLASSIC SHOUNEN PROTAGONIST!? I like the name though because it fits my headcanon, so that and his past are what I’m grateful for.

Favorite relationship : If I’m not clear enough from the Yamato’s post, let me say this again. Yamato/Hibiki. YamaHibi for life. I have unending thirst that will be forever unquenched unless the fandom revived somehow. Please revive. I need my daily dose of YamaHibi. Since I already talk long and so detailed about my love for this ship, I will talk more about his friendships. I really love his friendships with Daichi. Daichi is loyal, he is always worried about Hibiki and support him. But he won’t just follow Hibiki if he thought Hibiki is wrong. He will face him and said his opinion, hoping that Hibiki will see things his way or at least think about it. Daichi is also really honest with Hibiki, ranting about his frustration and fear about the world ending yet everyone is fighting. He knew he won’t be as talented as Hibiki or the others like Yamato and Io, but he did his best with what he could do. Hibiki acknowledged that and also supported Daichi. Sure we can be mean to him if we want as players, but since the option to be nice is there that is also arguably canon. Their friendship are one bonded over time and trust, something that I can admire so much.

Favorite headcanon : When Hibiki joined JPs (in my headcanon he will, now shush), he refused to wear the standard uniform because it’s yellow and ugly. He refused to part with his bunny hoodie and after many arguments, Hibiki managed to make Yamato surrender and customized a general’s uniform (the black one that Makoto, Fumi, and Yamato worn) so that it has black bunny ears. At first Hibiki complained that he preferred white but after a battle against a stray demon that drenched him in demon’s blood and gore, he decided that black is more convenient. He still love his bunny hoodie though.

Below is my more spoilery headcanon about the first Devil Survivor, read if you have finished the game or didn’t care about spoiler.

Hibiki is the reincarnation of Seth, and a copy of Abel (since I read that Seth is supposed to be Abel’s replacement). Since his soul is so old and unrestrained by distorted desires or doubt, he doesn’t have a Shadow (enemies that appear on the last battle against Polaris). Just like Cain who is cursed to always remember his past and no plant can live on the soil he touched, Seth is cursed (not because he has sinned, but more because of the resonance with Abel’s soul that has descended to hell in fit of hatred and rage) to always be replacement in his family. His parents in the animation never looked at him because all they saw was his brother who excelled at everything. If Abel and Seth met, they will experience the uncanny feeling of staring into a mirror because their souls are so similar, just that Abel’s has already been tainted by demonic power. Cain had never met with Seth or his reincarnation, but he knew about his existence. No one knew about this fact until Yamato discovered it as he was repairing Hibiki’s data on the Akasha Stratum. Will I write this fanfic someday? We will see...

[veliseraptor]

yeah it’s that time again, the time called “there are too many things I want to work on and not enough decision making cells in my body” aka “150 words meme!” send me a number and I will write 150 words in that fic. 

this round we’re talking just NINE fics. trying to keep the field narrow in the hope that I can make substantial progress on some of these.

1. “Kind as your solicitousness is,” he said, brittle, “it’s also unnecessary. If you’d excuse me, I am going for a walk.”

And he went out. He hadn’t eaten anything. Steve rubbed his forehead and grimaced.

“Nice,” Bucky said. Steve dropped his hand and gave him a hard stare that Bucky returned with perfect equanimity. After a moment he raised one shoulder and let it fall. “He doesn’t trust you. Why would he come to you for help?”

Are we talking about him or are we talking about you, Steve wanted to ask. “Any bright ideas?” He asked, a little sharper than he meant to, but Bucky didn’t seem offended. If anything, almost amused.

“He doesn’t trust you, but I think he wants to,” Bucky said. Steve startled, half thinking Bucky was putting him on, but his gaze was level. “That’s his weakness. He’s looking for someone to count on.” (Steve Rogers’ Halfway House for Notorious Supervillains)

2. After another moment of waiting for more, Wanda sat down. “Based on what I heard,” she said slowly, “I thought you and Thor were…”

“At odds?” There was some irony in Loki’s voice. “We were. I had...a shift in perspective. Just in time to die.” He barked a laugh. “And if that isn’t just typical.”

“What is?” Wanda asked. Loki’s eyes slanted toward her briefly, then moved back forward.

“The last two times I came face to face with death,” Loki said, “I had nothing in particular to live for. This time…” His lips twisted. “The universe has an abominable sense of timing. That is all.”

Wanda looked down at her hands. “You asked what Thanos took from me,” she said quietly. “He took the man I loved. He asked me to...to kill him, to keep Thanos from winning. And I did. But it didn’t matter. He won anyway.”

Her chest ached. She bit her lip to keep from crying.

“You were braver than I was,” Loki said after a long silence, his voice quiet. “I was given a choice, too. Between Thor’s life and giving Thanos what he wanted. I chose the latter, and I would do the same again, and condemn the universe so doing.” (Dead Superheroes Walking)

3. “Open your eyes, Francis,” he said. “Your companions are not here. I thought it time for a private conversation.”

The eyes did open, then, though only just. “How kind of you,” Lymond said. Despite his recent unconsciousness and the circumstances preceding it, there was no strain in his voice. “Are we to commence negotiations, then?”

Gabriel laughed. “Negotiations? No. You are here to choose the terms of your surrender.” (gather frankincense)

4. “I appreciate your...solicitousness, Grandmaster,” Loki said carefully. The Grandmaster beamed at him.

“As you should! But you haven’t seen anything yet, sweetness. I’m going to be - we’re going to be very good to each other. For each other.”

Loki raised his eyebrows. “Is it to or for?”

“Why not both?” The Grandmaster’s grin was wide and full of teeth. His hand migrated from the side of Loki’s shoulder up to his neck, and Loki tensed, but the Grandmaster didn’t seem to notice. Or if he did, didn’t comment. (the rapture of that cruelty)

5. Morgause used to say, you can’t trust her. Your chambermaid.

Of course I can, Morgana had said dismissively. Gwen’s the one person I can count on.

Then why, Morgause asked, have you never told her about your magic?

Morgause was right. Morgause usually was. And now Morgause is dead, and Arthur sits on the throne that should have been hers. (Darkness, Darkness)

6. Steve walked back to Loki, who was shivering under the covers, his lips nearly colorless. His breathing sounded wet, and as Steve reached out to check his temperature he started coughing again, deep and productive, his whole body shaking with each one.

When he stopped, gasping for breath, his eyes were open to slivers. “Steve,” he said, half a question.

“Right here,” Steve said. “I’m right here.”

“Don’t go,” Loki mumbled, his voice rasping; his throat must be raw from the cough. “Please don’t…”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Steve said fiercely, but he wasn’t sure if Loki heard him. (Tremors)

7. “Hm,” Rogers said. Loki couldn’t tell exactly what it meant, but he shifted and moved on a moment later. “So. You didn’t turn me over so that you wouldn’t get caught if people started poking around.”

“Precisely.”

“Huh. All right.” That seemed to satisfy him, at least. “What’re your plans?”

That stung, though it shouldn’t. “As soon as I can stand longer than five minutes I expect I shall return to plotting the downfall of humanity,” Loki said.

“You’re offended,” Rogers said.

“Oh, no,” Loki said. “Not in the least.” (the first steps stumbling forward)

8. Tony wasn’t answering his fucking phone.

There was no way even he had a way of knowing that it was Clint calling. Maybe thought it was spam, but he’d left three voicemails so far telling him to pick up his phone and stop being a self-centered fuckwad, or did you miss the attack on New York?

No answer. He’d have tried Pepper, but he didn’t have her number.

Clint hung up on his fourth attempt to reach Tony and couldn’t keep himself from shouting “fuck!” at the top of his lungs. The side door of the car was open and he could feel Loki staring at him. Spinning around, he snapped, “what are you looking at?”

Loki flinched, which just made Clint want to yell at him more. (the enemy of my enemy)

9. Mildmay and I had not discussed what had happened at the river. I had no intention of doing so. I could only hope he would follow my lead. It seemed likely that he would; communicative was not an adjective that could be comfortably applied to my brother.

A gust of frigid wind slapped me in the face, jarring me out of my thoughts. I looked up, but there was no sign of either Mildmay or the mule, and only my own tracks behind me.

I’d lost sight of him. Wandered off, like a lost sheep. A half-blind lost sheep. (the last glimpse of winter)

[samwpmarleau]

How much of human life is lost in waiting Arthur-Elia

For this meme.

Rhaegar dies, as all men do, a thoroughly ordinary death for a man that, for whatever else he was, was certainly not ordinary. He had not been ill, no more than anyone past their sixtieth nameday does, nor had an assassin stolen into the castle. He had simply passed in the night.

Elia had always thought it would be her to go first, what with her fickle health, yet it is she who remains and not Rhaegar.

She dresses in black for the burning, unsure what to feel. Their marriage had been…acceptable. He had never struck her, had only rarely raised his voice. He loved their children completely, more than anyone thought capable of a man who was reserved and melancholic until the end. It was a loveless marriage, but not a bad one, considering. And politically, she must admit, they were quite the pair.

Still, she does not know what to feel. There is sadness, she supposes; how could there not be, when they had been wed for so long? Yet she does not grieve. Not the way the children do, nor his brother, nor the rest the realm.

Perhaps she has simply grown too thick a hide. Years and years and years of tirelessly refusing to react to the insults leveled her way; years and years of people waiting for her to die first of childbirth then of sickness; years and years of suggesting policies that could only be publicly attributed to her husband. Perhaps after all those years of needing to shield herself from the cruelty lest she explode had simply left her numb.

Or perhaps…perhaps it was not just the cruelty that had drained her, but the pretending.

She had decided–they had decided–long, long ago that inaction would have to be their penance for coveting. It had been hardest in the beginning, pretending they were nothing to one another, pretending to be devoted to Rhaegar and no one else, but the heartache had eventually dulled. It was persistent, like the way her knuckles now throb when the weather turns, the way silver has overtaken the black in her hair, the way often she has to squint when she’s reading, but blunted enough to where she could almost forget, some days.

Her son is coronated two months later, not with his father’s crown but with an entirely new one he designed himself. He had not wanted the Conqueror’s crown, not because it was truly lost, though they all kept up the pretense that it was–despite the historic animosity between the Yronwoods and Martells, Dorne is in Aegon’s blood, and thus Lord Anders had secretly offered to bequeath him the prize.

No, instead he refused because he did not want the crown of someone who set his ancestral lands ablaze with the intent to subjugate and to eradicate the culture Princess Nymeria had instilled half a millennium ago. But nor could Aegon take the crown of one of the few good Targaryen kings, for those had their own sadnesses and evils associated with them.

And so it is that the High Septon declares him king with a crown to match his reign: new and untarnished.

Her heart is lifted in a way it hasn’t often been as she watches lords and ladies the realm wide swear their fealty to their new ruler. He resembles her in appearance less than he does his father, but oh, the way he responds to each of their vows, calm and clear and gracious, reminds her so much of her late mother. His sister stands on one side, regal and proud, his queen on the other.

Elia looks out at the crowd once the coronation feast is in full swing, and cannot help it when her eyes track clear across the room to where the Lord Commander stands sentry. He has led his band of seven for decades, has succumbed to time the way she had; though these days he usually trains with a mere longsword for it does not require as much strength, on the occasions he chooses Dawn instead, the young man he was emerges again.

She sees him slip from the hall and, like a fish to a lure, she politely excuses herself from the table, citing the desire for some fresh air. But when they are alone, she finds herself without words. He brings his hand up to her cheek, as circumstance has not allowed him to do for so long.

“We’ve lost so much time,” she says. They are old now, their best years far behind them, and it makes her want to weep. “We–look at us.”

“Look at what? I see you as I always have.” She had forgotten. She had forgotten how simple he could make things sound. Her tumult must show, for he asks, “Do you feel differently?”

“No,” she sighs. “No, Arthur, I don’t. You know I don’t. But we can’t just go back to what we were like nothing’s happened. An entire lifetime has happened.”

“Elia, it’s been forty-two years,” he says. He cups her face, looking at her with an ardor so palpable any passerby would be able to see it. “The rest…the rest doesn’t matter.”

She stares into those deep violet eyes that are so earnest and sure, and surrenders.

[ofthemuses]

Area 11 Sentence Meme; from all their released albums

All the Lights In The Sky (2013)

i. vectors

One day I will find you  I saw that you were lonely too  You reached out and you took me I repressed that time Everything that I forgot, I see it clearly  can’t you see that you’re losing your mind A shot to the head leaves it all behind I’ll tear you apart Reach out your hands to catch me reach out your hands and you tear me apart But we are simply killing time I wish I’d see inside your mind I wish I’d seen inside you Almost the same, but not enough Never forgiven, but still in love

ii. euhpemia

Memories of fallen dreams and all those that have died. Demons are possessing me. I feel my hate take flight. I'm choking on my own words and I'm scared of backing down the hope within us all is up in flames Twisted by my warring conscience. The situation's pushing onwards. This can't be, was this me? I think I've lost control. I caused this, I forced this, Can I continue on? I caused this, I forced this, I caused this! Betrayed by trust, forever left to scream. Oh hold me closely and die in my arms, then take this secret with you. I became your puppet master This could fuel The Revolution! This could be my last solution! And all good victories come with a price. Just take my secret with you.

iii. knightmare / frame

What is life but a burden for me? All this anger, burning inside but buried deep One step forward and two to the side, every single time I fall asleep and I feel I'm falling Nightmare comes without warning I can't seem to sleep  In my dreams I feel I'm running towards her/his shining light She/he shines for me Just like glass I saw right through Something I couldn't see until I changed my point of view I cannot let you go inside of me, the will to change the world Can a mask be the face of reason? You will answer, to the pieces left behind Well I watched her/him die in your arms Freed but they'll never understand

iv. tokyo house party

I know that this will never work out So it shouldn't even start Cause I'm just a kid at heart And you know that it's such a waste Cause I hate that bitter taste and your bittersweet embrace I feel this has gone to my head I'll never drink again But fuck it, I don't care I don't know what you came here for This is where we are from (The town where nothing goes on) Waiting for our own special moment to die I got lost to find myself I wanna be with you tonight Cause everything's gone; it's been wiped out I feel a change in the pace I know I should run and I should fight But the look in your eyes: I could die here tonight Fear of failure, we're moving so slow

v. shi no barado

I saw your face in the LED's It's something that I can never repay, but I will try anyway. I sent a message I know you'd see Now fate led you down a path to me You're all I ever wanted you can use me, you can kill me My body will be a fortress I will keep you safe from pain My losses are your gains Together we can burn this to the ground, rebuild it into something right I'm not afraid and I'm not alone because you're with me in my dreams I won't give up on this perfect love

vi. cassandra pt. 2

Although it doesn't really matter now You use me, and I use you I'm your savior, you're my muse The best friend that you been to me but I wanna be your enemy You want a reaction You wear a red dress when you're in a bullfight You're drawing attention to your double life In dreams, I'm coming to find you and when I wake I want anyone else. 'Cause I don't love you, It's what I'm telling myself I’m hiding from you, ‘cause we are the same Wait, just wait for me and I'll come around My best friend that I've never seen That's turned you into my enemy No, it's all in my mind I feel I should save myself before this gets too real

vii. the strays

I'd still cheer for you ten years down the line Time stepped away from me Stray from this boring dream What must it be like with your world alight? How could I stay here and rust when I'm set to explode? You can outrun everything but the debts that you owe I'm numb from the distance If it's just the bored asking this kind of thing, where do we fit in? Take what you want from it We're the last ones left Get the others and cut to the next Scene To be truly free Freedom comes not from, but through me Do you remember when the stars were much higher? You would try to count them all But you grew tired - tired - tired

viii. dreams & reality

Dreams... are realities. You mean so much to me I can't forget the way, the choice that we made that day. Is it worth the risk that we take? Waiting and hoping from the side-lines But this is our moment, it's our chance to shine. 'Cause this feels better than the best thing 'Cause we are stronger than anything We've grown from all the things we've been through, And they couldn't break us if they wanted to. Your smile is brighter than the lights in the skies wont you tell me what is real? Lets write our names in history, Let's make these dreams reality,

ix. heaven-piercing giga drill

you came and dug me up into a world full of violence. So many faces, so many trials. They won't stop our evolution. Who do you think we are? Fight against your execution. Trust me and we'll fly, not fall. Tip the balance to risk it all. Together we can go so far. All the lights in the sky are stars. It follows everywhere I go. It carries the hope of humanity, and everything we know. Believe in me, who believes in you.

x. bōsōzoku symphonic

There's three parts to love, or so I believe. There's a part of you you lose, and another you receive. Here I break with the concept, though it's central to the piece. Leave my mark on the canvas, that only you can see. I deferred my happiness, for loneliness and time. But once I'm where I wanna be, you'll be far behind. And the chains that pull me down, slacken off when you're around. And it's comforting to know I'll rip out all the hooks from my skin so I can grow. Sometimes I disagreed, just to hear you scream. You were right, but I needed you to give emotion back to me. I'm not leaving you, I'm not leaving you!

Underline (2014)

i. are you listening?

All aboard this sinking ship No business here it's just relationships Should this mean more to me? Just join the tribe and feel accepted But cool don't come for free The rope that pulled me from the pit now hangs around my neck Is this the clue you wanted? Too cryptic for the rest Play the part of the victim if it puts your mind at ease Put all the blame on me So what you feel, is it nostalgia or love? Tell me now, are you really listening? When everybody tells you to stop, and that you’re never good enough; tell me now, are you really listening? Reach out for help, and she lets you down So gild your pockets, we'll watch you drown  Cause this means more to me It's hard when all I see Now we take control We fade into hindsight  Can this be realized?

ii. in the blind

I redesign, I realign. I redefine, and yet resign. My only hope: to feel. And when I phased out the "privileged" and the "purpose" I realized that art can never true be separated That should define who I will never be. Sorry. Cause this is the new way Still spinning cycles in my mind Hold me back and keep me down! Drop the weights, accept my fate, and trigger the explosion. Now keep the faith as illusions break and we'll show you something real. And when I reach out into event horizons will there be light and sound, or will it be just me?

iii. override (a)

Willing and wishing to break This won't be over so soon You'll claw yourself out of the womb Are you willing to die? To be born in the spotlight? I won't let you drown Are you willing to die? To be something? We patiently wait your return Rejecting your pitiful life You'll crawl on your hands and your knees You'll feast on the fear you receive And here in the alter you'll give your life for a reason to live Are you ready to die? Are you ready to die? To be more than they say you are? You'll be a mistake The child of the void and the ghost in the tape Can the ego you've sculpted endure the escape? I am willing tonight. I am willing to die to be something; trigger the override

Modern Synthesis (2016)

i. override [C]

Lay the new foundations; reprise Strange are the things that will come around Return to the question, I'm willing to die If this is real and this is anticipation Know it in your mind, hear it once and now you bear the load Are you ready for life? Make a stand in afterglow

ii. the contract

You’ve spent a lifetime locked in the same mindset You break the contract, and smile away your debt I play for closure, through the fear and the thrill of the fight Move a little bit closer, ‘cause you’re in for a jagged night I close my eyes; a toxic calling Just let it resonate, we call it suffering We know just who to trust this time I want you to give me what I need Lay waste to your beliefs, rebuild yourself for me I want you to come alive again I feign obsession, and abbreviate my views You're my possession, until I'm done with you I want you to feel as I feel I want you; submit yourself to me Your body and your mind; give it willingly Just sign the contract

iii. watchmaker

Serve or break the patterns that would be Middle child of eternity The creeping vines of anomie I never wanted to believe I never asked if I could stay Switch the pressures you relieve Sketching parallels to understand why I can't share your love I’m only building what I meant to do so many lives ago

iv. versus

I dream of it; am I a psycho? Watching you burn nothing else feels this perfect to me “Hands in the air”; salute or surrender? We adapt, mutilate, replicate and survive But choose a side The truth, the war; the rise, the fall The virus in our heads that infects us all Do you need it once more?  Can you remember what it is we’re dying for? (Fighting for?) Little soldier, little girl/boy who used to love this fucking world To love, to despise: such a fine line The hardest strikes always land when hands are tied The virus in our heads infects, manipulates our thoughts

v. processor

I took a chance to fly I want no role in your altercation I feel panic arise as rhetoric voices are feeding back again Blocking out vitriolic accusations: Was I listening? Because I want to be better on the inside I want to be better on the outside I fall asleep in the vestige I once called my home I pray for you, abide with the hopeless Regretting the choice but I can't turn away The modern synthesis compels me to start again I will have my way, I told you, I told you, I told you As I dispersonalise I taste a real life far from the pacifist you believe I exemplify I am the fury, I am hypocrisy The day I take control. The day you'll believe in me The path back home, the path I'll show you The path back home, where you'll wait for me, wait for me

vi. red queen

I said I don't mind, but you've touched a nerve The way you frame it, well, I got all I deserved Breathe deep and comfort the disturbed In the cave you fear what would you find? We played our hands together You lose me in your blood chemistry So we'd better try to match her/his speed Toast to the red queen/king and all she has seen Is it time to drink at your table? We can only wait and watch for so long Where you fall is not where you belong Unify behind false enemies Down other lines we would have been the same Beauty fades but still my charm deceives This night is shared and so we use each other ‘cause misery loves company And so it goes again A wasted day to vie for my affection Soon you'll come undone Can't fake a smile so they draw it on

vii. angel lust

how far did you deviate? The bridge collapsed but you took the stone From the ash an altar raised, you rebuilt your home And cynics they will try to tempt and change our minds We'll keep our faith alive, we'll raise our voices And scream it from our hearts: God loves her/his children we wait to receive a sign and the scraps of truth of what we believe The passion, the pain, our bodies ache, we cry your name

viii. the life of a ghost

Living the life of a ghost, there is no comfort for the mind Some sights we've tried to leave behind Always looking backwards down the road I will retain composure Lost in thoughts of where I am Stay 'til dawn, begin anew? With all honesty I want to be selfless To be human, but I'm beat and I'm worn-though I'm lost tonight I'm an ember, will you take my story? Pull back the curtain and walk towards the truth There is no comfort for the mind

ix. after the flags

Come on son do your country proud! Lead us down to the ocean and wash our hands of campaigns for the self-assured now Fading white in surrender and weary from the beating sun that blinds you Take a hit for catharsis Take a hit for them all After the flags they're selling off the wall I wanna die for a reason I wanna kill for a cause The fall won't kill but it's gonna hurt do you watch just to wince at this? we have been misled Straighten out your fiction As means to ends and ends to meaning guide you After the flags I'm nobody at all If I could reach you with reason You set us up for a fall After the flags you're nobody at all

x. nebula

This is my suffering, stuttering the words As all I can see is you Hey there you lost boy/girl, just look at what they've done to you They've poisoned the well of your mind but you'll make it through I'm falling to the call of you To love just an action, we overplay and overdo But now, there's no one beside me They've fallen behind

xi. panacea and the prelogue

Wait inside we'll talk a while I didn't mean to let the years go by Have we come to terms with the lesson that our fathers learned? Everything goes away I'd follow you, but not this time I'm sorry that I let you down, let you down, a lifetime ago I wanna say to all I leave behind, and to those I'll never find. That I need you to understand, understand, you're not on your own. What you value, is it worth the time? The only melodies that I could ever call mine were friendship and lust Will I feel absolved at the moment when we have it solved? Still it's never enough Lines fade out, but you illuminate the path back home, the path you've shown me

all your friends / new magiks / everybody gets a piece (2018)

i. all your friends

Habits tend to crystallize Did you waste it in the dark? Why were you sure it was real? you let all your friends tell you how to feel The archetypes; the ideal will soon embrace you when you let yourself heal Who are we to cauterise bleeding hearts that synchronise? Did he/she waste you in the dark? Choose your friends just to canonize you, as you let them fantasize

ii. new magiks

I'm watching the mirror crack to face my addiction This all feels a little strange, (A life fearing fiction) I better step outside It's all fine, from the shoreline The weight crushing down my heart, you don't want it, you don't wanna know A head full of dying stars, the shoulders that bear the load The wave crashes down on my heart You don't wanna know My mind's a rogue nation Just look how we weaponise carnal accusation It's all fine, a drop in the skyline Make it hurt Percolate emotion Boys/Girls lost to the ocean drown You were the bright newcomer I fucked you up that summer I didn't know, you let me know my mind is loaded

iii. everybody gets a piece

In time you'll grow, I fucking hope I'm outside looking in at all the time we're putting in Think I know what it means I won't say the right things just to open doors Don't waste your time in the studio I've been told to beg, steal and borrow I'm told it's not the way to go Nobody listens to the radio Everybody gets a piece Did you honestly say it might have been me? But all this while did you think of me, you know All this while, we were pure potential energy, dreaming Don't ask, you'll never get You never asked so you never got nothing Did you get all you wanted from me? You don't ask so you'll never receive Can't lose when you're playing for free