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#times it is and i feel like i cant do it anymore but i also cant kms or even talk about my feelings because people will be like no dont
sunahsvt · 1 day
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—DON'T BELIEVE THE SIGNS
miya atsumu x fem!reader
+ angst (no comfort what y'all expect), lovers to exes
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other tags: microcheating, LAZY WRITING, babe/baby nicknames, small cases
wc: 3.7k
note: not proud of this one but i was itching to start and finish this tonight. so :-) not proofread yet again. also if yall read this note pls drop some hq angst series in my ask box plsplspls
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DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR POST ANYWHERE IN OTHER PLATFORMS
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atsumu loves you. he definitely does.
a year into the relationship— and six months of courting— he can say he's contented with you, and he shows it through his words and actions.
there was a time when atsumu drove past the hotel where his ex— who he once thought of was his greatest love— booked their first anniversary to.
you were on the passenger seat, your hand on his where it rests on your lap, fully unaware what was going through his mind. both his hand twitched. you, who didn't let things go unnoticed, giggled at him, brushing your thumbs on the back of his hand.
in his eyes, of course, you're his greatest love.
atsumu walks through the aisle, cart in tow. his eyes saw a chocolate bar he hasn't seen in a while— the exact chocolate bar that his ex had given him for valentine's one time.
he shook his head, asking to himself why he was still reminded of her.
he didn't think much of it the first and second time, but as time went by and more things reminded him of his past lover, he was almost convinced the universe was giving him signs that maybe he hasn't really moved on— that maybe you two weren't really meant for forever. he was almost convinced.
and because he wasn't fully convinced, he didn't do anything about it, but you were beginning to notice something was off.
"baby, did you get my chocolates?"
"yeah, it should still be inside one of the paper bags."
you jumped off of your seat, eyes tired from looking at your laptop screen due to your work from home job.
you croached down to look for the 3 musketeers chocolate you dearly love, but there was only maltesers and twix bars. you frowned.
"i don't see any muskeeters in here, babe," you whined.
his eyes furrowed, "huh? i bought maltesers. aren't those your fave?"
you shook your head, your lips forming a thin line.
atsumu's eyes widen slightly in realization, you almost didn't catch it.
the silence passed for a minute, both of you staring at each other. you weren't sure if you should confirm it, but in your mind, he didn't need to.
he mistakened her favorite chocolate as your's.
he apologized, but that doesn't mean it didn't get worse. that doesn't mean signs about his ex didn't stop showing up, and that doesn't mean it didn't gradually made him uncomfortable.
y/n: can you take out paella for dinner? cant cook tonight :-(
tsumtsum: ocake
y/n: ty! i love you!
tsumtsum: i love u
when atsumu got home that night, he had bought paella for take out good for two. being a considerate boyfriend, he made sure it wasn't seafood since you're apparently allergic to shellfish.
but when you padded your feet to the dinning room and saw the chicken and chorizo paella, your eyebrows knit together. you weren't a pick eater but seafood, especially shrimp, was your absolute favorite. you were looking forward to having seafood for dinner.
but why isn't it seafood paella?
you gulped the hurt that you were feeling rising up your throat from your chest. atsumu was too busy looking for something to drink in the fridge.
"was there no seafood available?"
he glanced over his shoulder to look at you, "what do you mean? you're allergic."
"babe."
"what?"
"i love seafood."
this time his eyes slowly closed, realizing another mistake. another thing he forgot about you.
"what are you not telling me?"
he couldn't tell you. not when he wasn't sure, so he shook his head, apologized and made up an excuse.
from there on, he kept trying to make up to you. but it just didn't feel the same anymore because it either felt like out of obligation or he was trying to cover up the other things he hurt you for. each time he does, he doesn't realize his temper was thinning.
you tried to communicate with him over and over again whenever something felt off.
but your patience, your empathy, your love can only go so far.
what he doesn't notice is he wipes his lips or cheek whenever you kiss him.
what he doesn't notice is he glowered whenever you talked.
what he doesn't notice is he stopped exerting effort.
he doesn't notice he's showing all the signs that he's gradually falling out of love.
he doesn't notice that he's losing you.
but you do.
you, the silly lover girl who didn't let things go unnoticed.
you tried one last time to communicate to him your feelings. irritated, he only said, "i'm tired of this."
so after you waited him to go to sleep, you decided to leave.
you place a hand on his forehead and kiss the back of your hand as goodbye, fearing that even in his sleep he'd find annoyance in it— that it'd wake him up or he'd wipe the kiss away even in his sleep.
that was the last time atsumu has seen you.
and he noticed now that he shouldn't have believed in the signs.
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general masterlist | haikyuu masterlist
DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR POST ANYWHERE IN OTHER PLATFORMS
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skunkes · 5 months
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old drawings i found and enjoyed while looking for something else
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lemongogo · 1 month
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plulp · 11 months
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MORE HAPRER PLEATHE HES SO FINE
youve asked this at such a good time because i had just had a harper design explanation idea and i wasnt sure if i should make it or not:
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lollytea · 1 year
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Huntlow situationship gives me such intense brain termites you don't get it
#no i dont think its because Hunter needs time to heal first#i think if it was up to Hunter they would plunge into a committed romantic relationship immediately after the events of the finale#he would propose to her in like. 3 months probably#i know that sounds intense but i think this is what ''i literally died and came back to life'' mania does to a guy#he is so carpe diem minded hes become a little insane. he wants everything#no more waiting around. no more hesitating. he cant afford to do that anymore#would it have been the wise decision to enter a romantic relationship immediately#who's to say. but Hunter would have done it without thinking about it#its Willow that makes the decision to slow down and wait a while before they make any committments theyre not ready for#i dont think she's entirely learned her lesson about letting herself be emotionally reliant every once in a while#shes made progress but the events of ftf were such heat of the moment responses#once things are semi-stable she still needs to adapt to acknowledging that her feelings for Hunter are like. serious. and scarily intense#so like. yea Willow is slamming her pedals on the breaks for both their sakes. shes thinking about how this would effect Hunter too#but also. she scawwed.#when Willow tells him she wants to talk and she's like ''i think we should just be friends'' oh the face he makes is DEVASTATED#he didnt expect it was going in this direction at all. but like. once Willow explains how this is the most reasonable decision for now#he DOES agree. he understands what shes saying and he agrees that it's the best decision to take a breather before they jump into a romance#anyway even when theyre not officially dating the flirting continues insistently. they are very obsessed with each other and cant stop#Willow keeps trying to insist to herself that its just messing around. nothing serious. they find each other hot. its fine to kiss a little#but Hunter makes it very hard when he looks at her with big brown labrador eyes. looks at her like shes the entire world#i think if it was up to Willow they would have been trapped in that uncertain limbo forever. shes too scared to take the plunge#even if she wants to. she badly wants to#but Hunter just wont let that happen. every so often he says ''im ready whenever you are''#he makes his intentions very known. he is not the shy boy from Camila's house anymore#Willow cant just playfully flirt with him without worrying that hes gonna reciprocate. he talks now. he expresses himself#shes a little afraid of that. but she adores it too. he makes her feel safe but also he wont let her stay in this comfort zone#hes giving her the push she needs to pursue this relationship. gives her to push to feel like she can go after what she wants#because god knows HE knows what he wants#they make me so insane
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darcyolsson · 1 month
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being in your 20s in crazy bc sometimes ill actually genuinely sit here and go "wow I kind of miss high school when I was genuinely miserable every day.... it was kind of a vibe now I think about it". like. HUH?
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ambagel · 5 months
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Wait hold on, in his anniversary video Barbatos mentions the mc being the brother's attendant?
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But in the other videos, it's implied that they don't remember the mc leaving (which is actually something im very disappointed about and really hope isnt the case in the actual story)
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In these two specifically, it seems like they aren't aware of the mc's presence in the past/alternate timeline/whatever it is. The only other person who seems like they know is Lucifer
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Which also lines up with the end of lesson 40, where he's the only one who says welcome back? So like?? Do only him and Barbatos know? Did they not tell anyone?? Diavolo would probably know as well but I haven't seen anything to show that yet. Anyways I don't really like where this is going, I would really prefer they not make everyone forget the mc disappeared
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wormchaser · 5 days
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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petricorah · 7 months
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theygender · 2 months
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This is your sign to get back into playing that video game that you love but put down a long time ago and never picked back up again for no discernable reason
#started playing breath of the wild again a week or so ago after a youtube video about why we put down games showed up in my recommended#i can link the video for anyone who wants it but the most helpful advice in it for me was to just. try playing it for two minutes#if all your fears were right and you cant get back into it then you can put it right back down after the time is up#but if youre enoying yourself then you can keep playing#a big part of my fear was that i wouldnt be able to handle the combat anymore after going like a good couple years without playing it#bc one of the biggest things i love about botw is that for the most part. link doesnt level up#theres no attack and defense stats that level up as you earn experience and make him mechanically better at fighting#for the most part its YOU the player leveling up your fighting skills with practice#...but that also meant that after so long away from the game i was scared that i would have lost all my skill at it#and the learning curve would be too great this late in the game (literally the ONLY main storyline thing left for me to do is fight ganon)#but i played for two minutes and i remembered how much i loved the game. like firsthand not just vague recollection#so ive been running around doing side quests and exploring and now it doesnt feel like im stalling the final battle anymore#it feels like im just intentionally taking time to fully experience the game#and after getting combat practice in again with my exploration im finding out that my fears were wrong!#if anything im even BETTER at combat now than i was when i put the game down#back then i was still terrified of facing lynels and walking guardians#but now im taking them down before they can even get one hit in on me!#im so proud of myself and im having so much fun#so. for anyone else out there. this is your sign to do the same#rambling#maybe once i finish breath of the wild i can even finally start on tears of the kingdom 🙏
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skunkes · 4 months
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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dukeofthomas · 15 days
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Something I really especially love about btas is that every character is just… a human. Batman doesn't just show up and incapacitate 30 people no issue, he has to fight and brawl with just 1 or 2 henchmen. He can be taken out by hits and poisons and such. The rogues have to surrender when the cops get guns to their faces, and can be overpowered even by normal people. Joker isn't some pure evil incarnation of the Devil or whatever, he's just… a really bad man. Same for every other villain and character. And Bruce actually gets to show personality and emotion beyond Brooking and Grunting. He makes jokes and laughs and gets sad.
I'm really getting to understand why people call this the best Batman adaptation.
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carpathians · 3 months
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also beaver hollow makes me so insane for. real reasons but also for reasons i entirely made up. tbh
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motherforthefamicom · 2 months
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redownloaded an old art program
#specifically its tayasui memopad…#sketches was like borderline unusable last i redownloaded it#which was like.. oct last year#maybe its gotten better but i dont feel like bothering with it anymore haha#memopad i never used much aside from little scribble doodles (id make a scribble and try to turn it into something)#but its changed a lot since i last used it.. which was like four years ago so i cant be too surprised i guess XD#its still pretty jank but in a more manageable way . i missed rhe sketches brushes theyre very lovely#sorry for all the rambling haha#ive been feeling really shitty lately and have barely been able to draw it feels like#a lot of what i have made ive had to really.. force myself to get out. and i havent been as satisfied with it as id like to br#this is kind of janky still but i like it and i had fun making it#everytime i draw these two its exactly the same cuz i have to remind myself what their designs even were everytime >_<‘’#hopefully i do some more stuff today. its already getting late but im feeling a little better#getting back into the swing of things or whatever#i thought someone on af was ghosting me or whatever but turns out they were just . busy. ( <- figures i need to stop assuming haha) and#they also made this amazing revenge im absolutely in love with its so cute#really made my day =)#scribbles#furry tag#good god i write way too much in these#sorry#anyways#queueing this to post again (its the 14th as im writing this) i feel like that worked alright for me last time#im kinda making this post impulsively i am. constantly going back nd forth on whether i even like posting my art nowadays#oh well#yeah queue i wanna know#mother series#<- i forgot to tag that . for blog organization mostly these r just#nothing burger npcs barely anyone cares abt (nintens sisters lol)
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todayisafridaynight · 21 days
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why cant i imagine daigo and mine doing shots
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widevibratobitch · 4 months
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something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.
#im playing it all cool and funny now but atm i legit burst into tears lol#like he said i have a 'good voice too of course' but i know realistically that is not my strongest asset#and even if i were technically perfect. which im NOT lol. the voice itself is just nothing special. it's there ig but that's about it#but its nice to know i may not be 100% useless after all#(just 90%)#also apparently the most feared and respected professor who came to the concert said. again. that he likes me the most.#which again. crying real actual tears about this all rn this means literally the world to me this is everything i have#and i have no one to share this with because im not gonna say it to my uni friend cause i dont want her to feel like im boasting or sth#(even tho she has no such qualms herself but probably because i know how. not great. it feels when someone keeps talking about themselves#and about how great they are and how easy everything is for them. i dont wanna do it back at her.#well there's also the fact that i dont think im great and this is not fucking easy to me at all lol#but idk i think the difference between us is that she actually admitted she sees no point in singing if she cant show off (thus she hates#the duet we're singing because she sings the lower part and cant show off her high notes or coloratura.#which is like. an insane take to me. i mean it i get it. kinda. if i had a voice like hers maybe id be like that too fuck knows.#but that just feels so. idk. sad to me. so self obsessed and empty. like you dont care about the music itself? about you being a part of it?#also immediately made singing with her not fun anymore. i thought we were creating something TOGETHER. but thanks for the confirmation#that you only really care about being 'better than'. yikes.#like idk this behaviour is funny and iconic in old school opera legends like yes go bite each others dicks off.#but it hits completely different when it's your own colleague let alone your friend. like damn girl. damn)#) anyway. the husband is kinda hot too now that i think of it. i really should seduce them both.#except its realistically not possible since they've both seen me cry now (she saw it like a hundred times lol)#so ive lost the hot and mysterious card alas. no uni professors romance for me
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