#tis a curse

[rettrogue]

its that fanciful romanticistic day yet again so JIGZENI HEADCANONS be upon ye (in no particular order of importance or seriousness)💥💥💥

- zenigata is jig’s type. gotta get that outta the way first lmao

- favorite fic tropes: reluctant partners, wound dressing, cigarette lighting, slow burn, frenemies with benefits 

- and ok as much as id love this dark noir grizzled detective/hitman mobguy romance love/hate situationship whatever they're probably on the heathier end of the 10 possible lupin ships. they're both just too fucking honest and awkward about romantic sorta stuff yknow

- they both like really black coffee. like nasty "how tf can you drink this its literal tar" black

- zenigata runs hot, jigen runs cold-- obligatory "opposites attract" dynamic

- they both overthink things and small, awkward, semi-flirty situations haunt them for hours. they've brushed knuckles accidentally at a bar once i stg. worst day of their lives they still can't stop thinking about it

- really stand-offish around each other in public (virtually no pda outside of things people might not notice; nudging feet under a table, lighting each other's cigarettes (which is practically kissing for these people let's be real), hands brushing when theyre cuffed in the back of a prison van together, etc etc. normal guy shit)

- they feel obligated to not acknowledge each other, essentially. they're not SUPPOSED to acknowledge each other, it'd break the status quo, "why does that inspector that's always on the news suddenly care about his rival’s partner so much" -- people would get suspicious. best to simply not

- but when they're in private they NEED to be near each other at the very least. eyeshot/earshot. tbh this basically boils down to jigen lounging on top of zenigata. see temp boyfriends-- jigen uses that cop like a basking rock lmao

- facial hair... jig probably digs the five-o-clock shadow look but it usually means "bad mood" for zeni. real late nights, real big loss, real bad scolding from the higher-ups. lupin's dead for the third time this year and he's at the end of his rope about it. shit like that.

- lupin domesticated the shit outta jigen ok. he's the mother hen now. he knows what it looks like (and feels like) when someone's not taking care of themselves so he does the whole shebang-- cooking, cleaning, making sure everyone's hydrated n fed n not slowly rotting. he scolds lupin (plotting heists spiral) and goemon (training spiral) enough that they know to be more careful, but zenigata doesn't get that sorta constant attention since he's solo most of the time

- what im getting at is that jigen checks in after really rough shit ykno. things that might not hit their side very hard but he knows is devastating for zenigata. makes sure he isnt drinking himself into a gutter, makes sure he's sleeping, makes sure he isnt eating exclusively half-assed cup noodle, makes sure he gets cleaned up/shaved. then when zeni's tentatively grateful and Over It and threatening to arrest him again (in that order) he dips

- I FUCKING LOVE THE PATCHUP TROPE and i blame this fandom exclusively. there's this one jigzeni fic where zenigata admits to practically being the gang's third-pick medic and i really really like that idea. so yeah that mother hen shit goes both ways because thats just how zenigata is innately

- hes super cushy with jigen specifically cause jigen's kinda like when you try to clip a dog's nails when they do NOT want that to happen. theres always the looming threat that shit might get loud. and bitey. aaany moment now. but jigen sucks it up real quick when he sees how big this fuckin guy's hands are and how good he is with them winkwinkwink

- put these two alone together for too long and they'll blurt out shit that they BOTH need to hear but have always been too. idk. nervous? afraid? to say. probably afraid. they hate that it's so easy to talk about what's weighing on them

- mostly intrusive thoughts about lupin, but sometimes it's little stuff. i.e. "i actually don't like black coffee all that much but i can't bring myself to sweeten it up because i feel like i don't deserve it/it doesn't feel like i earned it."

- neither can bring themselves to tell the other that That Doesn't Make Sense and is In(s)ane. they both know it's nonsensical and neurotic but they both feel the same deep deep down, too. they get why. they hate it they HATE that they align on a intuitional level

- but once they break that initial barrier of extremely awkward silence where they just KNOW they're thinking the same thing, they can not and will not shut up about how they're feeling

- don't get me wrong. jigen totally vents to lupin (and to goemon and 10000% to fujiko too) but only zenigata can match that same level of angst he has and that's what makes said venting actually, genuinely, deeply relieving. because fuck, he gets it

- they're a tag team of worry. hype men of worry. there's this one mike birbiglia bit from "old man and the pool" -- can't even enjoy a comedy special without this pairing whacking me upside the head with a two-by-four, smh-- that is apparently jigzeni to me:

- "she's worried, and then because she's worried, i'm worried. we're like an anxious improv group. like... i initiate with a worry. she "yes and..."s the worry with some misgivings. i close out the scene with some neuroses, and then sometimes we have sex, and that's so fun."

- on that note, jigen's Worry is very much internal whereas zenigata's is very much not. this is borderline fascinating to them. "how're you so calm all the time" versus "how're you so hopped up on all this energy all the time". the answer is waiting till 2am to unpack by screaming into a pillow and/or drinking till they zonk out

- they tend to gravitate to certain places for what i guess you would call "noncommittal company"-- ambience, if anything-- and since they tend to be holed up in the same areas random bar encounters happen frequently

- they talk about drinking habits a lot. preferred drinks, cocktails, brands-- they're both big fans of whiskey

- jigen buys them both a bottle of real high-their top-shelf shit after particularly rough yet successful heists (the ones where they team up to take out nazis or whatever the hell) and zenigata (after a lot of convincing) never really turns jigen down when he offers him a glass

- okay so either these two happen slowly over many, many months (with the backdrop of many, many years behind them) or they happen IMMEDIATELY, no unpacking, no real deep thought from either of them. if they don't have that “ah, fuck it” moment then they've got a lot of silent pining to look forward to (which i rant about [here])

- damn i think thats it. im pretty shit at coming up with really cushy slice of life bits lmao, it always devolves into deranged character analysis

- some day i will comprehend the art of cozycomfy 'this is how they like their toast' stuff......some day

[ashippingpotato]

Vampy x wolfy

Kinda reminds me of my Klance one I did a while ago....

This one 😭

Lowkey so similar..

Omg….they do 😭

We always go back to these lil guys ig 😭😭

[unicorn-maggots]

i want to be a jellyfish so bad just no thoughts head empty

[pixlokita]

Hi Pix! I found this... it's about you...

You might be interested🙃

~Glow

Dawg you scared me 😭 idk how you did that but whejbdkdbdkd 😔🙏 unfortunately im so bad at games they crash and glitch to the point of characters disappearing :’>

[spilled-energon]

Anon asked: Dude how do you have the skill to write so many muses? I swear you have 50 of them at this point

I actually have 55 muses at the current moment ;)

In all seriousness, a good chunk of those muses have VERY similar personalities. I like me some super intelligent scientists who tend to have at least a little bit of insanity sprinkled in, lmao! I think most of my muses can fall into at least 1 of 3 categories. Super smart, socially awkward, or ridiculously stupid.

Anyway, I love each of them with every fiber of my being.

[bumblebeau]

Caught in your own trap, are you? You knew it was bound to happen.

[twerkinirken]

Might I perhaps add my contribution as well?

[lazzincats]

Imagine a drawing of fuma and bisharp side by side with their weapons because I can not for the life of me figure out how to draw bisharp

[infernal-blaze]

Gonna see about working on some replies later tonight

[aroaceleovaldez]

i have suddenly become obsessed with a theme that HoO established but never proceeded to extrapolate on, which is:

You are Percy Jackson, and you have been swapped with a boy who was allegedly everyone's favorite person, but they have decided to replace him with you. They just met you. You stand next to his best friend and the people he's known his entire life. In his home. In his cloak. In his place. They stopped looking for him.

You are Jason Grace, and you have just found out you have a long lost sister who completely replaced you in her life with this girl you just met. Your lives and personalities are mirrors. She is you, living the life you were robbed of.

You are Annabeth Chase, and you have just become starkly aware that you have been inhabiting the void left behind by your best friend's long lost brother. You and Luke were just replacements for him. Now you have to look him in the eyes when he has nothing and know you took that life from him.

You are Piper McLean, and you have just found out your relationship is fake and built entirely on the memories of Annabeth Chase. You have been given a boyfriend when hers has been taken away. You have no idea how much of it is real or not but regardless you feel like if your relationship isn't exactly in their image that you have failed.

You are Leo Valdez, and you have just learned that you are the echo of your great-grandfather. You are not your own person. You just exist to be a mirror of him. A doppelganger. An actor and stunt double facing all the danger he never had to but wearing his face. To be there for his best friend decades later simply because he couldn't. You are playing a role. A seventh wheel and a pawn for a goddess who carefully sculpted your entire life for her own purposes.

You are Hazel Levesque, and the only reason you are alive is because your brother couldn't save your his sister. You are a consolation prize. An apology. Your existence here is misplaced in every way but you inhabit it anyways.

You are Frank Zhang, and you are a shapeshifter. Inhabiting your own body feels strange and clumsy when you could be literally anything at any time. You are anything and everything and live your life with the simple certainty of knowing exactly how you will die.

[justplainlovely]

Me and my moots are one and the same 😅

[ourlordsaviour-memes]

I want to be them...

[mentality-of-wukong-au]

Rise and shine! It’s 4

I hate school.

[rorydrawsandwrites]

So we've all been having fun giving him bug wings right

(I gotta mention that this post in particular inspired me here... they're so little. His ass is not flying anywhere unless he's thrown)

And I do see the logic here. He has the li'l antennae after all (and him being a lightning bug would be especially fitting). But I'd like to point out that as a Fleischer-esque mix-and-match creature, he does also have a pig nose... therefore I suggest:

Pig. Hoofs.

I rest my case.

Also a little bonus... the touch-starved Luxposting has gotten to me. Pet the creature

[g0g0at]

When I was drawing this I went “gotta keep it simple” and then had to restrain myself from drawing Kim fully rendered

He got some nice dice (the pain never ends)

[tk-duveraun]

This is probably retreading crow Yuan ground, but crow spirit Shen Yuan to transmigrated into a crow!! When SJ didn't die as expected. The system gives him a little boost to get started on cultivation as well as "mini games" that increase his cultivation and but the time LBH comes out of the abyss, SY has a golden core and can communicate with lbh though he's a long way from a human transformation.

But this point in his life, LBH knows to be wary of everything, but also that crows are intelligent and loyal so he gives SY a chance and once he discovers they can communicate easily, allows the bird to hang around.

It's good to have a spy - and not even a demonic one or one first loyal to MBJ (looking at you, shishu). Crow Yuan is very supportive of LBH's schemes and plans, but extremely critical of LBH's women. It should take more than a "you deserve better than her" and a few squawks to dissuade LBH from his conquests, but something is sharp and bright and he DOES deserve better

When LBH has a breakdown over QWY forcing herself on him by coercion, SY goes into overdrive. He'd thought that scene was sus but now he's on the war path.

He goes and retrieves a ton of magical items and precious manuscripts to help LBH handle xinmo so he's never forced again. SY keeps waiting to feel bad as some woman dies bc LBH refuses to save her with his dick, but that feeling never comes. He feels a little upset, but mostly at airplane for designing the world that way

LBH still knows sy is upset and eventually research reveals there was a non heavenly pillar cure AND the woman's village should have known it. He goes back and strongarms them into doing regular sex pollen education.

Then it happens again

And again.

SY is starting to get confused about LBH's conquest against wife plots. Shouldn't he be, you know, conquering the land?? Not that SY is complaining. LBH never seemed to enjoy his power, he just never wanted to be trampled on again. It was like that study about how money does buy happiness, but only to a certain point. Maybe power was the same?

After sy learns SQH is airplane, he whole -heartedly encourages LBH to force more and more demonic sovereignty on the North just to give airplane more work. Especially since SY, with his front row seat on LBH's shoulder, has seen tons of demonic courting live and knows MBJ wants a piece of that.

Meanwhile, SY's cultivation improves by leaps and bounds with the help of LBH's blood and various gifts from the protagonist.

SY really wants to hate all of the silver bangles and other decorations he's gifted, but his brain is still a crow's brain at the end of the day so he suffers it with dignity.

At one point he realizes maybe he should stop cultivating. After all, if he's a human, the dynamic will change. LBH might see him rejecting marriage offers as a threat rather than good advice. LBH might think sy wants more power and riches for himself rather than for LBH