#titles are mostly song lyrics oops

[valentine-writes]

Hiya!!! This will be a bit of a long one but I think if anyone could write it out it's you 👉👈✨

Would you be willing to write headcanons for the glamrocks and the daycare attendants (all separate) where their S/O (the reader) has given them their phone to play music on while they work nearby, not close enough to hear what they're playing but enough that their partner can ask them questions if they get confused, because their animatronic asked about music and really has only ever listened to the things Fazcorp owns and not music from the Outside World, and said animatronic goes snooping and sees a playlist labelled with their Motif (🐻🐺🐊🐥🌕☀️) and like a whole bunch of hearts and glitter (that was clearly hidden away for some reason) that you'd clearly been trying to hide, so the animatronic decides to listen in on whatever this playlist was, especially since it seems this was about them, made long before you two had started Dating at all, and it opens up to some of the most yearningest love songs known to man. Like the sappiest, sweetest, head over heels nonsense the animatronic has ever heard. S/O isn't happy when they get back and catch their animatronic partner red handed having snooped where they weren't supposed to (almost having listened to the whole playlist), but when asked about having made the playlist that's the definition of Down Bad, they have to stutter their way through an explanation, that they were absolutely smitten with their animatronic before they'd even really become friends, and this playlist kinda put their feelings into words so they could be Normal around their animatronic.

Tldr; Mostly, I just want you to write headcanons about the animatronics listening to love songs that their s/o clearly thought fit them, and how they'd feel knowing that their most favorite human in the world wants to kiss them so bad it makes them look stupid!!

I hope you have fun with this one, even if you don't write it it's a fun thought to play with :)

1-800-LOVE !

[ tws + notes: very unedited, insane amounts of tooth-rotting fluff, if i stay still long enough canon can't see me, established romantic relationship, some swearing ig ? ]

↳ ft. the glamrocks, sunnydrop/sun, and moondrop/moon

「 gn! reader, romantic relationship <3 」

author's note: FIRST OF ALL I AM SO FLATTERED U ARE REQUESTING ME 2 WRITE THIS ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡ !! <3 i love this concept so much u have no idea how excited i got when i received it. and second– though i was extremely tempted to assign at least once song for each animatronic which would be one of the songs featured in their playlist, i realized that my music taste in fact does not feature cutesy love songs. oops. i have compromised by including a song which reminds me of this prompt!! again, thank u so much anon i love this req. hopefully u enjoy what i've created!!!!! (๑>ᴗ<๑) !

GLAMROCK CHICA headcanons:

▸ ooughh mannn,, chica discovers so much new music!! she gets very excited abt this opportunity, knowing there's more music out there she hasn't discovered! though she tries out a buncha genres, she loves LOVES bubblegum pop, classic rock, and 80s hip hop. those end up being like. her Main Faves.

▸ she's pretty innocent in her intents when she accidentally stumbles across the playlist- she really only was trying to look for other stuff to listen to anyways, and figured your playlists might give her more great music. oh she rly does trust ur taste :]

▸however,,, while browsing for more stuff to listen to, the playlist catches her eye. it's a bit hidden away, but from the title she can tell it has to do with her somehow. of course, she's reluctant- but she figures it wouldn't be all that bad to check it out. she'd just apologize if you didn't want her to see!

▸ the first song begins to play and she listens- it's catchy and upbeat, sort of bedroom pop type vibe with sappy sweet lyrics. she finds herself nodding along to rhythm happily. hwo could she not love such a cutesy song?

▸ she doesn't even know the playlist is filled with love songs until she's midway through it. chica's fr like

"hm. maybe i'm sensing a pattern,,,,," (SHE'S A LITTLE DITZY BUT PLEASE SHE'S TRYING)

▸ but the second it hits her- the second she realizes why you made it, she cannot hold back from reacting out loud. her sudden squeal diverts your attention from your task at hand to her immediately.

"AAAA YOU MADE THIS FOR ME??? THATS SO SWEET OF U!!!"

"WHAT."

▸ you immediately figure out what she's talking about. sure the reaction is very, VERY bubbly and cute but it doesn't stop the heating of your face. you approach her, taking the phone and try to explain yourself, stuttering through every word- and she shushes u, sparing you of an explanation. chica pulls you into a tight hug, gushing about how much of a sweetheart you are. she is then very eager to ask if you'd let her make a playlist for u.

-

"hey, chica? you done with my phone yet?" you call back to her, now back to completing your task at hand.

"aaalmost! just you wait- i wanna make it perfect!"

she's had your phone for a while now. you can't help but wonder how long the playlist is going to end up at this rate. still, she gives you a smile and a wink when you glance to her, signaling you just to wait a bit longer.

maybe a perfect playlist would be worth the time waiting.

"there!" chica approaches, holding the bright screen inches from your face. "you can listen to it anytime you wanna- 521 hours of the best songs for my-"

you cut her off with a small "h u h."

turns out. the listening process was going to be much longer. oh well.

still worth it.

more hcs under the cut !!

GLAMROCK FREDDY headcanons:

▸ very interested in music beyond what fazcorp provides. instead of choosing songs at random, he checks through genres and tries out certain artists' discographies. he is Very Specific w/ trying new music. anyways! he endz up enjoying music by david bowie, elton john, and queen.

▸ freddy is quite curious about learning about the music he's listening to. he'll occasionally do a quick google search on the bands and singers he's listening to. sometimes, he'll just ask you the question himself.

"superstar? who is hatsune miku?"

▸ on one hand, freddy's so pumped to find music from the outside world. on the other hand. oh man. SO UPSET he can't listen to this stuff when he wants to on demand. bro doesn't have a phone </3

▸ gonna be real he didnt even mean to snoop around your phone all that much. he just happened upon your little playlist after trying to find a song you recommended him based on his new favorite artists.

he locatez tha playlist, and on first glance, doesn't really get why there's a playlist for him (which was made before you two were even together). were u just a really big fan??? once he scrolls through the songs and listens to a couple- he gets the message. and he is practically melting.

▸ a little anxious to tell you he found it though, considering if you wanted him to see it, you probably would have shown it to him. he doesn't wanna go through your private stuff- even if he just found a cute little playlist. the last thing he wants is to invade your privacy. he wants to respect boundaries as MUCH AS POSSIBLE. and ough. perhaps checking out your other playlists was not very respectful of him.

▸ regardless of his hesitance to tell you, he's very honest about it. not really one for lying. he tries to mention it in a non chalant way so you don't freak out (you do) and he doesn't get sent into a guilt spiral (he does)

he awkwardly hands you back the phone, trying to collect himself for a second before facing you.

"i like the playlist you made for me.." he says, giving you his best totally-not-nervous smile.

"thE WHAT"

▸ yes you try to get through your explanation without exploding. he does feel bad, watching you hide your face while trying to explain and stutter through your words- but oh. wow. he thinks it's absolutely adorable. insists that you should let him listen to the rest- when you're ready to show the playlist to him, of course.

-

"i did not mean to go through your personal playlists, i promise- i was just curious! ah,, although that is not an excuse-"

you try to calm your racing heart, fumbling to put the phone back in your pocket. "it's... fine- yeah- but don't you go poking around that playlist the next time i let you play some music!"

though your arms fold in front of you, huffing- you can't help but break a little smile.

freddy only chuckles, lifting a paw and patting the top of your head.

"of course."

"good!" you say, trying to conceal the small quiver in your voice. good thing he didn't listen to all of it. "i haven't gotten the chance to even update it recently so- so..."

oh god. he tilts his head, the small movements of his ears betraying his efforts to conceal his excitement in the promise of more music for him. no chance in hell were you about to confess that you were planning to add more songs to the sappy mess of a playlist.

"NEVERMINDBYE-"

ROXANNE WOLF headcanons:

▸ at first, roxy seems not to show much interest in checking out more music. you decide to play some music for her anyways- and later find her checking out some songs for herself.

▸ yeah, of course she likes glamrock- but wow. the real stuff is nothing quite like what fazcorp makes them perform. it's better.

along with glamrock, she likes punk music, midwest emo, alt rock- but. yo. she finds my chemical romance and goes insane. bro listens to one mcr song and immediately:

HQWJHDEJKFHEWJ THIS IS SO UNSERIOUS RN MB MB BACK 2 THA NORMAL HCS

▸you convince her to check out some other songs which may not be in the genres she's currently exploring, but are worth a listen. she reluctantly puts her mcr spree on pause for a little more variety.

▸ while getting there though... oough she snoops with the FULL INTENTION to find ur private playlists. the minute she lays eyes on the playlist, clearly labelled to indicate it's for her? she doesn't even hesitate. straight up hits play, faster than lighting. i mean, it's for her, no? why not have a listen.

▸ the first song began, and it's utterly sappy and oozing with lovey dovey emotion. at first she's like "bro. what is this." and then she's like. "oH. OH SHIT BRO."

doesn't take her long to realize why you made even before you were dating each other. god you were absolutely smitten by the looks of things- she can't help but snicker a little. how cute of you.

▸ this actually boosts her esteem greatly. like you wanted WANTED her. roxy's almost done with the entire thing and then you, who could just faintly hear the music- slowly recognize the order of the songs were playing in. in a haste, you drop everything in attempts to grab your phone from her.

▸ "HEY!! WAIT- YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO FIND THAT-"

your efforts to reach the phone are futile, her being much taller and holding it ever so slightly out of your reach. of course she was teasing you now, of all times.

"guess you always were my biggest fan, weren't cha?" she laughs, watching you grab at your phone.

"GIVE ME MY PHONE ROXANNE."

-

your reddening face says it all. she seems to be enjoying this but don't let her fool you. though the playlist's songs were all sappy and heartfelt- it was genuine. the way you cared for her, even before you two dated was so kind and sweet. you loved her in the way she always wanted someone to. and oh,,, how she cherished being loved like that by someone like you.

once she's finally had her fun, she hands you your phone back. you immediately shove the phone into your pocket, and turn to go back to work, but she gently touches your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks.

she hesitates a bit before asking,

"...is there a way i can uh.. keep listening to this?"

MONTGOMERY GATOR headcanons:

▸ (on behalf of all the victims of the monty fans on tiktok, i will not be mentioning closer by nine inch nails. yes i know the amount of thirst traps created under this song for this character. i do not need to relive that event. /j /lh for the record he probably does find it and enjoy it though. im sincerely sorry.) loves a lot of music, similar to roxanne's taste but less pop-y and a little more underground. he's very specific.

▸ boys don't cry by the cure is the first song he hears, and is INSISTENT on getting to listen to more music that fazcorp doesn't have control over. it's a whole world of music out there- and lucky for him, you're lettin him experience it!!! ^_^

▸ you hand over your phone and surprisingly, his claws do in fact work with the touchscreen. huh. didn't expect that.

he finds a ton of new music he likes, probably creating a playlist of his own so he can relisten if you ever give him your phone again. on occasion, he'll ask you your opinion on a song he finds before playing it. he trusts your taste in music. just little random questions about certain artists. some of which, you don't know how to explain.

"what's 100 gecs."

"an experience."

he is very overwhelmed by All The Noises of hyperpop. decides it is not for him, but. hm. interesting to listen to.

▸ suprisingly, monty wasn't even trying to uncover any hidden playlists. he just happened to wanna see which music you enjoyed and bam. playlist with gator emoji. his stupid ass doesn't even realize its for him specifically. his thought process is just "oh?? music for gators??? i am gator. music for me." and clicks it.

▸ four songs in, he does recognize that it's a playlist of love songs- all the songs are sugar sweet, and he can't stop glancing down at the phone, and then back up at you.

he's a little confused though. based on the date it was made, you two weren't together- why would you have made thi-

oh.

▸ ok so he's not very subtle at all. the minute it clicks he IMMEDIATELY TELLS YOU HE FOUND IT. he has barely gotten through the thing and is already exposing the fact that he found a playlist you were definitely hiding from him.

▸ "why didn't you show me this earlier?" he asked you, grinning like an idiot.

"music from the outside world? well- i didn't know you didn't have access to-"

"no. this."

he raises the phone's volume, turning the screen over to you to show you what he's listening to. it doesn't take you long to register what's happening.

"MONTY PUT MY PHONE DOWN RIGHT NOW-"

-

it takes a moment for both of you to stop overheating before he shuts you up. you're trying to explain, stammering and shaking, pacing back an forth while all he can muster is a slightly amused, slightly flustered "uh huh.." to each of your attempted clarifications.

he then, proceeded to tease you even more than roxanne would've. though he laughs at how mortified you seem to be, it's hard for him to deny how much you made him feel.

it was a strange feeling, being so cared for. he doesn't know how to explain how glad he was to have found the playlist, or how to express his adoration for you. monty isn't exactly the best with words after all.

once you manage to grab your phone back, and his loud laughter dies down, there's a small quiet moment between the two of you.

"it's a good playlist, y'know." he mumbled sheepishly. "...would love to hear the rest of it sometime."

he totally bragged about it to the rest of the glamrocks by the way.

SUN headcanons:

▸ be nice to the guy,,,, if u had just discovered more music beyond the daycare theme and the occassional music you could sort of hear from the glamrocks, maybe you'd also have shit music taste. /lh

you find that sun's music taste is... eccentric. certainly very subjective and niche but. yknow. whatever. he seems to have a talent for finding obscure songs??? like. really easily. he just stumbles across them and enjoys them.

▸ the music he enjoys tends to encapsulate his energy very well. silly, lighthearted songs. some which uh,, may not be quality (this part does NOT apply to sun), but they're FUN. just. listen to all those goofy ass noises in the daycare theme and tell me im wrong. he also finds veggietales and you practically have to beg him to listen to something other than silly songs with larry

▸ accidentally goes a little overboard with random song selection. likes to skip into the middle parts of songs instead of listening from start to end. has a habit of looping songs a ridiculous amount of times if he enjoys or skipping them early if he decided thirty seconds in that He Doesnt Enjoy them.

▸ and then accidentally blasts death metal. full volume. an opportune moment to teach him about the volume button!

"what was that..."

"i think that was by dying fetus?"

that band is not for him. not daycare approved.

▸ FINDS THE PLAYLIST. GOES INSANE. debates on whether to play it or not but... yknow. figures oneeee song couldnt hurt. and another. and another. oh lord he's obsessed. u made this?? for him???

▸ he does feel incredibly guilty he's been listening to a playlist you've clearly been hiding- it felt like discovering a secret he wasn't supposed to know. except this was the type of secret he only wish he heard earlier. you loved him for so long!!! and to love him in this way- before even actually dating him??? you liked him THISSSS MUCH??? he's just upset you two didn't start datin earlier!!!!

▸ "i love the playlist you made for me, sunray!"

"thanks, i worked really hard on- WHAT."

he tells you that it's fine, you've got nothing to worry about, that you;re such a sweetheart and such a thoughtful, caring kind, lovely person- and still, you're terribly humiliated.

you were left hiding your face in your hands, as you tried to explain to him. the beating of your heart is as rapid as your speech.

-

sun pressed a hand to his chest, in mock offense. "you think giving me affection is embarrassing???? i'm wounded by your words!! how cruel of you sunshine... there iS NO RECOVERY FOR ME-"

"sun, goddamit, that's not what i-"

"NO MORE!! it aches too much for me to bear!"

"i'm deleting the playlist if you keep this up."

"IMSORRYILOVEYOUPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEDONT,,,,"

you broke him, nice going /j

now, everytime you've got a break by the end of the day and choose to spend it with him, he'll beg request that you play that cute little playlist you made for him. song after song, he pleads with you to play "just one more" before you've lost track of how many you've gone through.

"here, if i give you my phone, you can listen to the rest. i gotta get back to actually doing my job." you smile, handing over your phone. he holds it for a second- before giving it right back to you.

you raise an eyebrow, confused. wasn't he just begging you to listen to it? why doesn't he want to anymore?

with a smile, he explains with a level of sincerity that tugs at your heartstrings. "i like listening to it a lot more when you're around!"

MOON headcanons:

▸ you're the one who suggests letting him listen to a few tunes- at first, he really doesn't see the point. he seems indifferent when it come to music but curiosity, however, wins him over.

▸ he doesn't... really know where to start. unlike sun, who went pressing on every song which had a fun title or cool album cover- he just kind of stares at the screen for a bit. it takes some guidance and song reccomendations to actually get him listening.

moon doesn't ask many questions when listening. he takes a bit to go through options and pick-and once he does play one, listens to it start to end in complete silence.

▸ during all of this, you note that he has no genre preference, but seems to gravitate towards softer songs. (this is fully just me being a fan of the moldy peaches but. idk. i think moon would like their songs too.)

"I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else But you..."

the song plays in the silence. once it ends, moon considers it for a second- and you smile as you hear him replay it. it's kind of sweet really. though he makes very little comment on the songs he listens to, you really can tell when he enjoys them or not.

▸ a couple songs in, and he's wondering what playlists you've made. you don't mind this at first, knowing he certainly wont find The Playlist. he tries out a few playlists- finds a few songs he likes, moves on. wash, rinse, repeat.

and then He Finds It.

▸ he's quiet about it. real careful not to make too much of a fuss so you don't know that he's found it. he begins listening through, wondering what type of songs you could have possibly added for a playlist created for him.

and is immediately struck with the revelation of why you created it.

▸ once he gets through all of it, and you're done your job- he hands back your phone with no intention to tell you he found the playlist.

however,, one glance at your listening history and you figure out exactly what he was up to. tucking the phone securely into the pocket of your pants, you confront him.

-

"you're mad." he comments, watching you struggle to form words correctly.

"you know i'm not mad." the blood rushing to your cheeks makes it incredibly hard to think. "i just- you know that- it's just that- when i made that playlist, i didn't think you'd find it- not like it's bad that you found it! okay, maybe a little bad- but- but- i'm not mad! it's just- that- um- when-"

the sound of your own voice becomes insufferable to you, as you try to clear things up. he lifts a finger and presses it to your lips, effectively shushing you.

he cackles a little- and it becomes apparent he only wanted to watch you squirm as you attempted to explain.

it then becomes very tempting to bite his finger clean off. moon's a bastard.

"secrets must not be kept." he chided. the glint in his eyes told you he was entertained by all of this.

your nose scrunches at this, mumbling under your breath, "well it's not much of a secret if we're already dating-"

"hush."

he loops an arm around you, pulling you close. his other hand, reaches up to pat your head. you were embarrassed- not about to cry. still, you weren't denying it was comfortable in his arms. you rested your head on his chest.

a few seconds pass. you finally decide to pull away from the embrace, before mouthing him a quick thank you.

your work is over, and with that, you're about to turn away and leave for the day- but the sudden weightlessness in your pockets makes your heart drop.

a crackle of laughter from his voicebox is heard, as he slowly reveals your phone in his hands.

you make a grab at it- and he is hoisted up by his cord into the air and very much out of your reach.

your ears can barely make out the first song on the playlist beginning. you open your mouth to protest, but he interrupts.

"i'm not done with this."

[elizabethshaw]

20 questions for writers

i was tagged by @riversofmars (thank you!!)... feel like a little bit of a fraud doing this as i've had major writer's block for nearly two years now and have written virtually nothing during that time, but i'm gonna give it a go anyway 😅

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

14 :))

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

46,344

3. What fandoms do you write for?

doctor who! mostly leaning towards dweu/big finish stuff but i've written some new who fic as well in the past. (i've also been wanting to write something for the pleasant green universe audio series for a while now but as my major fixations on it have all coincided with the aforementioned writer's block that... hasn't happened lmao)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Wy' ti'n dal i weld cysgodion yn y nos? (67 kudos)

in it together (23 kudos)

The Security Guard, The Scholar, And The Giant Stone Cube (22 kudos)

I Lie Awake And Watch It All (19 kudos)

og um vitt aldrin síggjast meir (18 kudos)

predictably, this includes all of the new who fics i've written, and (bar the third) almost none of the fics i'm actually most proud of lol 😅

(also feel a need to clarify here that the foreign-language titled fics are not actually in those languages, i just use song lyrics as titles a lot and for various reasons over half the music i listen to at any given moment is Not In English, hence the titles being as they are)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to! sometimes i'm a bit delayed with it (i know there's a couple i need to get around to answering rn but before today i hadn't been on my ao3 for... half a year at least?? so i'm a bit behind oops), but i like to get back to everyone who leaves a comment, just to say thanks :)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably hver fer sinn veg - it's set during "the war doctor begins", it was never going to be a happy one lol

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

gei di weld y byd mewn lliw, i think :)

8. Do you get hate on fic?

thankfully no! i've been lucky enough that my experience with fic writing/sharing has been very positive so far <3

9. Do you write smut?

no, it's not really my thing. smut is very honestly just kinda there to me, i don't have strong feelings about it either way, and so it's not something i've ever felt compelled to write yknow??

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nope! i mainly prefer playing around with canon/canon-adjacent stuff tbh, i've got a couple of unfinished aus hanging around that will probably never see the light of day, but no crossovers that i can think of

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not as far as i'm aware. though to be fair, i don't venture onto fic websites other than ao3 so i'll never know for certain. i doubt it though

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

again, not as far as i know! i'd probably be chill with it though if anyone wanted to translate a fic of mine, provided they asked beforehand and it was one i was comfortable with being translated :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope! the closest i've got is participating in an event run by a discord server i used to be mildly active in and am technically still part of, which was a lot of fun :D

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

i don't know if i really have an "all-time" favourite as such, but i've written a fair bit for liv and helen from the 8das, and really love their dynamic. i'm also a big fan of leela/romana, but for whatever reason i've never been quite able to make writing them work :/

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

there's a fair few 😅 the main one I can think of atm is the eldritch helen fic i vaguely remember being asked about on here a couple of years back, it's a concept that i still have a lot of interest in and love for, but i've never quite been able to get the fic itself to work and i fear it may be doomed to the wip pit for eternity :((

i've also got quite a few unfinished pieces of varying lengths with the war-veklin-albert tardis team from "the war doctor begins" hanging around my drive that i'd a) love to finish and b) probably won't; their dynamic and their whole deal as a team whose story takes place mostly off-screen and which we only see the ending of fascinates me. maybe one day i'll manage to do something with it

16. What are your writing strengths?

description :) this is the one thing i am ever consistently happy with in my writing (i am my own harshest critic <3), and i've got a couple of nice comments about it before. so!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue - even with characters i know well and whose voices i have clear in my head, i do find it difficult to make dialogue feel really authentic, and it's definitely something i tend to overly fixate on when i'm writing because i'm so conscious of wanting to get it right

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i'm totally fine with it! as long as it has a reason for being in the story, and isn't like. getting in the way of readers understanding what's going on, i don't see the problem.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

doctor who :)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

it's probably a tie between The Security Guard, The Scholar, And The Giant Stone Cube (a fic i wrote back in 2021 based on this post about rory and helen theoretically being able to meet each other at the national museum during the pandorica arc, which i loved writing and am still really happy with nearly 3 years later), and mae cuddio dagrau yn fy ngwaed (a bit of a weirder/darker dreamscape-type story; it took a lot of puzzling things out to piece all the different parts together to make something that was cohesive but still felt strange or off in the way dreams do, but i was really pleased with the end result!)

can't think of anyone to tag off the top of my head who hasn't been tagged already, so i'll leave this free for anyone to take part if they want to! :)

[thebansacredbanned]

ok so I have managed to lose the original fic ask game post that @wishthefish tagged me in a couple of weeks ago bUT I did save this screenshot so I will just randomly talk about these fics for a bit (I am always happy to talk about my fics for a bit, this is an open invitation) SO

I know I've been through the wars

This is part of the greater Xuyao (yes Wen Xu and Meng Yao, no I'm not sorry, they're immensely shippable if you're not a coward) 'choose your own adventure' verse where I basically lose my mind and create diverging timelines in almost all of which Meng Yao suffers terribly bc Meng Yao whump is weirdly easy to write

The cyoa thread for this is 'Wen Xu dies as in canon and Wen Chao decides he wants Meng Yao for himself' -> 'Wen Chao dies as in canon, WRH continues to let everyone else abuse MY' -> 'NMJ conceals the way MY has been treated so no one knows'

All the titles from the greater Xuyao cyao fic come from the The Amazing Devil song "Battle Cries", which I chose mostly because there was a cool lyric for the first fic back when it was supposed to be a one-shot, but also loads of the lyrics from the song work really well

I picked "I know I've been through the wars" for this chapter because unlike in the alternate branch of this fic where everyone finds out, only MY (and NMJ, to a certain extent) have any idea of what exactly MY has been through. Which is good because his trauma isn't being gossiped about! But is also Bad because people who him to be happy (people = LXC) keep accidentally making things worse :3

which then my few beloved commenters were like 'this is so evil!' and i was like 'it's not even that bad' and they were like 'YES it IS', but angst is my default at this point for some reason so I didn't notice oops

At the end MY runs away from the banquet to hide. There's currently one sequel branch for this (NMJ goes to find him and is actually helpful for once (this is largely NHS' fault)). I have some plans for another branch (LXC goes to find him and continues to try to help without knowing the problem) but the way my brain was taking it was almost Too Dark for me so I haven't written it (yet). I might. Or I might be nice to MY for once and have LXC go and actually find out the problem. But then I'd be being nice so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it

This is. Nie Mingjue/Jin Zixun. I am sorry about this one

So when I wrote the first Xuyao installment I really wanted to write but my brain wasn't clicking so I put the sunshot generation into a random name picker, spun it a bunch of times, and decided Meng Yao and Wen Xu would be interesting (it was going to just be a creepy dark fic and then I wrote like three sentences and went oh. it's a love story. oops)

ANYWAY a few months later when I was bored I spun the wheel a bunch more times so now I have a Selection of rare pairs for whenever I feel like it

Mingxun was Not the one I was going to write first but here we are

Basically my initial thoughts were "jin zixun gets bullied into going to war by his cousin and then gets his gay awakening when he gets shouted at my nie mingjue" and yeah I guess that Happened

The title is a lyric from "Helpless" from Hamilton and was @nemainofthewater's fault/idea, which I thank her sincerely for because I hate titling things. I also think it's really funny

This was SUPPOSED to be a short crack one-shot but then wishthefish bullied/persuaded/encouraged to write more and it's annoyingly fun so now there are at least three chapters with the potential of more

Takes place within a mixture of show and book canons, whichever is funnier at any given moment

Really, if Jin Zixun is too busy being distracted by da-ge then no one is causing problems at the hunt and no one is getting murdered by out of control Wen Ning so like. This could very much solve all the problems

[olderthannetfic]

Seriously, this whole thing is going to give me a complex about my own unoriginal titles

For my BTS fic project, I was downloading approximately 188,406 works.

This is complicated by the fact that it took a month to download everything, and who knows how many were deleted during that time. I also didn’t write down the total AO3 listed at the time, so this is based on restricting by date. I can’t get a total from what I’ve downloaded or put in Calibre yet either for various reasons that boil down to it being very messy data.

I also know there will be some fics I failed to download because they have the same title and the same author, often “Anonymous” or “orphan_account”, but also some people who hate joy and title multiple fics the same thing on purpose. I’ll tidy those up later as I’m able to get data from AO3 to reconcile against Calibre.

Out of what I downloaded, Calibre reported 81,856 “duplicates”, about half actual duplicates (oops) and half things with the same title as an already imported work.

This ended up being 53,657 works with the same title as another work, or about 28% of the whole. And that’s just the fully identical titles, not even the ones with the same words but an emoji or an exclamation point or something.

Those represented 13,536 separate titles. Top culprits are mostly single common words and phrases and/or BTS song titles, but a wide variety of other artists’ lyrics make an appearance.

[on-the-shelves]

on my shelf: soundtrack to MA year 3 - summer (a.k.a. the finale)

And so it comes to an end. I handed in my Master's thesis (topic: Emancipatory Potential of Girl Teen Film) about a week ago, so now I'm just waiting for it to be graded and also I have to find a job or something now... The thing I have been dreading most for like 10 years...

ANYWAY so I was super busy this summer with the thesis and going to a Japanese film festival for a class (I mostly saw very emotional movies (oops) and one very good comedy (Mondays: See You 'This' Week)), going to concerts (Red Velvet!!! Odd Eye Circle!!! Twice!!), going on vacation but still spending at least 3 hours every day working on my thesis, keeping up with the BTS members, seeing literally every BTS/TXT/IU concert or documentary they showed in cinemas, etc. etc.

So here we go into the final list of albums/songs that soundtracked my studies (it's been almost exactly 6 years since my first post in this series!!):

The Jazz Hop Café: (anything with "jazzy lofi" in the title)

So this one's not really an album, I know, but I wanted to mention this YouTube channel and their compilations of lofi songs because on many days, playing one of their videos was the only way I could get focused on the work I had to do. Using a video was also much more helpful to me than that famous lo-fi livestream because it helped me track how many hours I had been working. Truly a life-saver. And the music just sounds great too. They found some real gems!

Agust D: D-Day (2023)

What a perfect finale to the Agust D trilogy. While all three albums, Agust D (2016), D-2 (2020) and now this one, deal with anger and fear, there's a clear maturation in how these subjects and emotions are approached. On D-Day, Agust D is speaking to the world and breaking free - in openly and honestly sharing his struggles, his pain, he hopes others can feel comforted. The album literally begins with the line "Future's gonna be okay" ("D-Day"). The theme continues throughout the album, most prominent in "Amygdala" and "Snooze", a beautifully cinematic track featuring the late Ryuichi Sakamoto that is dedicated especially to everyone working publically in the music industry and struggling. He has been there, he knows what it's like and he is sincerely cheering you on. In the last years, Yoongi has emphasised again and again how much he wants to help out others and this album showcases this desire the clearest out of all of his albums. He's also pushing himself to try out a variety of new styles without losing his identity: "People Pt. 2 (feat. IU)", "SDL" and "Life Goes On" showcase his warm singing voice, while "Snooze" is the grandest he's gone musically, filled with strings, guitars, piano, and so much emotion. "Haegeum" takes a leaf out of "Daechwita" from D-2's book by incorporating a traditional Korean instrument in a novel way, while using the lyrics to speak of the hypocrisies plaguing society today. The music video for that one is like a movie, too. All in all, the album is hopeful while being emotionally heavy - and in that way, it allows a feeling of catharsis. How desperately I wish I could've gone to a concert on the tour...

fav: Life Goes On; People Pt. 2

Jimin: Face (2023)

So this was not at all what I would have expected from Jimin's first solo EP, considering the types of songs he had released before. Especially the first single, "Set Me Free, Pt. 2" came busting down the doors and demolishing all those preconceived expectations with it's assured declaration of wanting to break free from them. The other tracks are more intimate but just as interesting. The album opens with clown-like music before morphing into a very different sound and the opening line "All right, I guess the blame is on me" - brilliant. The album feels very visual to me because it's full of this kind of 'sound painting', like the clown music or "Interlude : Dive", which tells a whole story of Jimin reminiscing about the BTS concert days and the frustration and sadness of not being able to do that right now. Jimin has said he worked through his feelings from the most difficult times of the pandemic in these songs and you can feel that frustration all over these tracks. For example: Lead single "Like Crazy" really makes you feel like you're not fully sober, just trying to ignore all the bad feelings but struggling to do so. Jimin uses his already unique voice in a variety of new ways throughout the tracks. And added to that, there are quite a few interesting moments on all these songs - like the long-ish musical interlude after "Like Crazy"'s first chorus or the way the music stutters after the "Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie" line in "Alone". An added bonus, lovely moment is the hidden track on the physical album, which is more like what I'd have expected from Jimin, and is a beautiful guitar ballad for ARMY.

fav: Face-off

V: Layover (2023)

After years and years of V promising that his mixtape/album would come out soon, just for him to reveal that he's scrapped everything and started over, it's finally here and it's everything I could have ever hoped. One of the first BTS songs I heard that made me fall into the rabbit hole was his "Singularity". The R&B, more laid-back sound suits his vocal tone so perfectly, and that's exactly what runs through all of these new songs. One thing that stands out is how much room is given to the instrumentals: "Slow Dancing"'s second half is just a flute/piano solo with no vocals. It really boosts that laid-back, dreamy feeling that runs throughout the EP. Lyrically, all the songs are about missing someone and wanting them back, which V conveys very convincingly. The music emphasises this feeling in different ways - from the slightly off-key (?) moments in "Rainy Days", to the jazz and soul inspired free-ness of "Slow Dancing", to the key change via pitched-up vocals in "For Us". Generally the sound also fit in perfectly with all of that jazzy lofi I'd been listening to while writing, which made it feel instantly familiar and cozy. My favourite part of the promotions were all the live band sessions that really added so much to these songs.

fav: Rainy Days; Blue

Jung Kook: "Seven" (2023)

Song of the Summer!! I literally couldn't stop listening to this song all summer, seven days a week (ha). To be honest, I was shocked when I heard the lyrics the first time because Jung Kook just had a much more innocent (?) image, but actually this vibe suits him perfectly. He is such a quintessential pop star - vocals, dance, looks, charisma: he has it all in abundance. And on top of that, he lacks the cheesy insincerity or even low-key misogyny that I get from a lot of the pop boys historically. The lyrics to "Seven" are sexy, especially because of how loving they seem: "I kiss your waist and ease your mind"! "I must be favored to know ya"!! It's just so very Jung Kook. And I really enjoyed the remixes of the song, too, in a way I haven't enjoyed remixes since BTS' "Dynamite". Especially the "Island Remix" was fun for me, since I was on holiday on an island when it was released (Mallorca - the same island where V also shot some videos for his album this year!!).

Kep1er: LOVESTRUCK! (2023); Magic Hour (2023)

Both Kep1er EPs this year have had some of their best non-single tracks so far, with generally better line distribution among the members than their lead singles/title tracks. They have been leaning more into a groovy, light sound, and allowing more space for individual vocals and harmonies. By Magic Hour, it feels like they are starting to find a good niche for themselves, musically. "Galileo" is my favourite title track of theirs since "Up" (2022) and this might be the first time I truly like every song on an EP. Hopefully this doesn't turn out to be their last album, since they're a project group with a limited contract which is supposed to be up after two years (meaning end of this year)... They're only just starting to find their feet as a group! What a strange system...

fav: Back To The City; Why; Galileo; The Door

Odd Eye Circle: &lt;Version Up> (2023)

After the chaos on Loona island that started at the end of last year, all the members got out of their contract this year!! And then went on to several different new agencies. They do keep mentioning that Loona is not broken up, so there is still hope for an OT12 reunion at some point. For now, the first group to have released new music is the second Loona sub-unit Odd Eye Circle, who just so happens to be my favourite sub-unit. And they truly delivered once again. Maybe it helped that they're working with their original producer again, but they really do showcase an upgraded version of themselves on this new album. Every song is such an earworm, but not annoying in any way. And I really enjoy the little references to the Loona discography and first OEC EP - the introduction track often brings a little tear to my eye. I have barely listened to Loona in the past year because of the ongoing boycott and this EP filled that void a little. Plus the girls were AMAZING in concert, I literally cannot believe I saw them live in a tiny venue in Berlin and got to see all of their solo songs, duets, and of course OEC songs. And even "Hi High"!

fav: Je Ne Sais Quoi; Love Me Like

Loossemble: Loossemble (2023)

Speaking of Loona: The five members who went to a different label recently released their own EP under the name Loossemble, which stands for Loona Assemble (so cute). Even though this was literally only released two weeks ago, I've been listening to it constantly. First of all, we finally get to hear the five members who usually get the least amount of lines in OT12 songs - and they sound so good! I especially love all of the harmonies on the album. This EP also really still feels like a Loona (sub-unit) album, especially from the fan-favourite earlier days, not straying too far into unknown territory (yet?) but not boring in any way because they do get to showcase new things, like ViVi's lower register on "Sensitive". I also find it very cool that all of the members have at least one writing/composing credit on the EP, which is something they've never gotten to do before but are really good at! And "Strawberry Soda" was even written for them by fellow Loona (but not Loossemble) member Yves! They're really still carrying the OT12 agenda. Fingers crossed Loossemble also decides to tour in Europe at some point!

fav: Strawberry Soda; Sensitive

NewJeans: Get Up (2023)

It's really amazing how NewJeans keep upping their game with every release. This EP is more summery again, but again in a way that's very atypical for K-Pop, drawing on various styles of dance music as well as R&B. It's varied and fun and has quite a few interesting elements, such as the unusual sparse sound of "ASAP" and the horns in "ETA".

fav: Super Shy; Get Up

BTS: "Take Two" (2023)

Of course they recorded a song to be released around their 10-year anniversary when they weren't all able to celebrate together. Of course they did. And of course it's such a warm, embracing hug of a song. 2025 can't come soon enough.

And here are some more albums I enjoyed:

Colde: Love Part 2 (2023)

Twice: Ready To Be (2023)

Fifty Fifty: The Fifty (2022)

Fall Out Boy: So Much (for) Stardust (2023)

j-hope: Jack In The Box (HOPE Edition) (2023)

STAYC: Teenfresh (2023)

Le Sserafim: Unforgiven (2023)

Viviz: VarioUS (2023)

Itzy: Cheshire (2022)

the BTS discography remains on repeat as well, of course

---------------------------------------------

A final note: I'm really proud of myself for keeping this series going all this time. I already sometimes look back on older posts and it's so interesting to see how my taste in music and my way of writing changed through the years. Sometimes the music you listened to at a certain time in your life will always remain connected to that time for you but sometimes that connection weakens. So having these posts to look back on is like having all these little time capsules, which is nice. I don't know if I'll keep doing something similar now that I'm out of school, but it could be nice... We'll see what happens next (I have 0 plans for my future :D)!

[evintide]

[ URL SONG CHALLENGE ]

( bonus points if you make them all relate to your muse in some way. )

tagged by » i stole this a loooong time ago @gerudosage​ but only just got around to finishing it. oops...

tagging » anyone who’s interested!

( putting mine under a read more because i want to be Extra™ and add small blurbs behind the meaning of each song. you are not required do the same! )

E  »   eyelids by pvris !!

if i could i’d only put pvris songs in this list. one of my favorite bands with raw lyrics and sound, and this one is just. HOOGH. clenches fist. it’s so tender but filled with a pain that just FEELS like Midna towards the people she cares about most. it’s like the night leading up towards the fight with Ganon, or the sun rising afterwards, just before she steps into the mirror for the last time. and then realizing, upon the next morning, that everything is different. it’s over.

V »   vide noir by lord huron !!

admittedly a good chunk of these songs i have under here are mostly midzel / zelink flavored instead of only Midna but. DAMN. there’s so many good songs ya’ll. the bass and total vibe of this track feels so slick and hypnotizing in a way i can only describe something befitting Midna, especially regarding Zelda or Link’s thoughts of her after the mirror has been shattered. trying to fill a void where there is no longer something just lurking in their shadows. a home that no longer feels the same after a long journey. all that’s left are her echoes in fading memories.

I »   in the shadows by amy stroup !!

a song that makes me think of Midna’s journey alongside Link. not so much as something that focuses on their relationship but rather the experiences they face together. the shadows in twilight princess serve as both home and enemy for the duo throughout their time together; Midna, as someone who has lived her life in the shadow of the light realm’s existence, and Link, whose world was turned on it’s head due to the shadow of Zant’s reign. there’s always something lurking there, friend and foe, a strength in a weakness, and no matter which it may be they have to face it.

N »   no light, no light by florence and the machine !!

thematic titles that match the character?? on this blog??? incredible.

another ship-adjacent song, though it’s less straight forward than the others. i personally always feel like it’s Midna to someone and then someone TO Midna after the shattering. like if only she’d given them the chance to speak to one another before hand. it feels like a betrayal after everything that’s happened, but the resolution to their problems, the one that makes the most sense in that point in time, is to sever that bond -- albeit the physical one. and it hurts all parties involved, but at the end of the day, if Midna had even hinted at what her plan had been, she wouldn’t have been able to find the right words to explain herself

T  »   think by kaleida !!

another song i think just vibes with Midna as a character, but there’s also the obvious ship material here. Midna thinking of those she loves, and those who think of her in the dark. because really, no matter how far apart they are, are you really alone with a little light in your heart?

I » i am not a woman, i’m a god by halsey !!

i think the title says it all, honestly.

D » the day of night by akira yamaoka !!

the twili realm but specifically during Zant’s reign. there is peace that can be found in the realm, not fully alien from it’s original state, but it is still not free danger. it is the breath between battles, the momentary calm amid the danger of whatever lurks around the next corner, where Midna can still see the familiar shapes of her home but not in it’s entirety.

E » evergreen by pvris !!

open and close with the same artist because i can.

a song that sort of encompasses Midna from her past to her future. i imagine that even as a child she had exceptional potential to ascend the throne even if it wasn’t promised to her. but it was also because of this innate talent she didn’t take her advantages seriously until it was a little too late. Zant saw to it that she got knocked down several pegs and her journey through the light realm solidified that further. of course, at her core Midna is still a very proud person, even if the adventure helped humble her some. she retains this new perspective after returning to the twili realm, but i’m sure some time along the way she gets... tired. frustrated with what she couldn’t change and eventually seeing the past repeat itself despite everything she and the light dwellers had done so long ago.

so instead of trying to mend what doesn’t want to be fixed, she leaves to do things her own way. because fuck the rules she’s Midna.

[grasslandgirl]

15 16 17 for the fic asks!! <3

mwaaahhh kisses kisses tysm jannah !!! <33

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

oh to be so honest? i wing it. sometimes while i'm writing i'll have an organic idea for a fic title or write or reread a line and be like. that's a good title. but more often than not (and jamie and my other friends who help me edit/betaread for me can attest) titling my fics is something i kind of put off to the last second more often then not- like the final draft of the fic will be done and ill be like. ah shit i guess i can't post this under domestic falling in love au on ao3 can i? and then go digging through my spotify for song lyrics that will work as applicable titles ksjfvnskjbksbn

16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles?

as stated before, like 80% of the time at the very end ksjfvnskfb i mostly write under what i call "working titles" that are like. more descriptive couple- word summaries than functional titles and then when i finish writing the damn thing im always like. aw shit i guess i HAVE to have a real title now huh

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

in what should likely be unsurprising, given what i tend to write about, but i don't do a ton of research ? like. any? sometimes ill dig through the applicable wiki of the show/fandom i'm writing for if i need a specific detail or wanna double check something, but other than that i don't research a lot for the fics i write skjvnskjbsnf oops

send me numbers from this fic writer's ask list !!!!

[skypied]

AO3 Wrapped Questions!

3, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 16, 20, 27, 28, 29, 30 :)

I'm guessing wrapped implies "works from this year" so I'm only going off those! Buckle uuuuup this is getting looooong like always

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Hmmm, maybe Back Home. Most of my fics this year feel like mindless brain dumps, but this feels more like a complete work.

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Probably hard feelings? It generally has a lot less hits and kudos than most my other work, probably because of it being angst without a happy ending (YET), but through the months it's gotten a lot of very sweet and heartfelt and/or heartbreaking comments.

Back Home also got a lot more feedback than expected - it was one of those venting fics that I didn't really expect to resonate and/or not be enjoyed by anyone else but me.

6. Favorite title you used

Hmmmmmmmm , I don't really think any of my titles this year stand out :p Maybe Catch of the Day, just bc it's so stupid.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

Most my titles from this year weren't song titles actually! Surprising, since I used to exclusively use song lyrics. There's only hard feelings (Lorde) and Can't Help It, I'm Obsessed (Sam Riggs).

(In 2021 we had Orla Gartland, Lizzo, Troye Sivan, Taylor Swift, Halsey and Maria Mena. Taylor and Maria were used twice: so they win. I think Maria would win overall for how many times her lyrics have been direct inspiration.)

10. What work was the quickest to write?

Probably a tie between the first chapter of hard feelings (started at like 10 in the morning when I was supposed to work, lol) - and Home (written while perched on the kitchen counter watching onions caramellize for onion soup). Both were around four hours, maybe one or two more for revisions.

Wait, actually, both chapters of Catch of the Day were mostly written in an hour or two each.

11. What work took you the longest to write?

Depends on whether you count hours spent on it, or stretch of time it took to finish it haha.

I do have wips I started last summer. Most of them are probably never gonna be anything. But I do have a wip that's almost done and I still intend to finish that I began... 14 months ago. oops.

But among published work - the ones that took the longest stretch of time is probably undertow and chapter two of hard feelings. According to docs, I began undertow on Christmas Eve last year (damn, didn't I have anything better to do?), so it tooooook... almost nine months? It's also kind of a mashup between three aimless wips that I eventually figured out went well enough to just patch together. hard feelings part two took seven months.

Most hours spent on it is harder to gauge, but maybe Can't Help It, I'm Obsessed. I remember I spent most my free time on it for maybe two-three weeks. (And then Annie kindly and graciously and perfectly finished it for me, thank god; I'd gotten myself in a real rut with it.)

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Oh I dunno. Most are generic things like genre, established relationship and aged-up characters. The only one that sticks out is probably Alberto Scorfano has ADHD.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Prrrroooobably Trust Fall! I think it's just sweet and neat.

27. What do you listen to while writing?

That goes in cycles. Sometimes a playlist with classical music mixed in with movie soundtracks. Sometimes just whatever album I'm hooked on at the moment. I have some specific music for specific things, most are one song I'll loop for hours:

Downtown (feat Pri Pach) by BYOR, VINNE, Pri Pach. It's SO good for hyperfixating and writing smut 2am on a weekday. (Been a while since I did that, though.) There’s a reason it was my #1 on Spotify Wrapped last year, and #2 this year.

IDFC (feat. Ravenna Golden) by WHIPPED CREAM, Perto, Ravenna Golden. Same as Downtown. It tingles my brain.

River by Bishop Briggs. Great for emotionally charged and angsty smut.

I've spent HOOOOOURS listening to just 22:12 Until The End of Time from the Haven soundtrack while writing, no specific genre.

I generally listen a lot to Kevin Atwater to get into those Sad Boy Feelings (especially when writing about Alberto being too brainwashed by Christianity to admit his feelings for Luca. God I still love that AU, shame it's never getting finished.)

Lately I've been rewatching TV shows while writing, just to have something moving on the screen and something to listen to.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

Hmm hmm hmmmmm, feel like I'm repeating myself here but Back Home and hard feelings. Both feel like is the first complete stories I wrote. Most my stuff is just scenes, this was the first that spanned over a longer time and connected themes together.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Ahhh idk if I have the patience to reread all 50k I published this year, so I'm taking a couple that come to mind:

It’s stupid and predictable and sometimes Luca wonders when they’ll tire of this, when the intensity of the teenage crush will fade into something more mature, as his mother used to sigh when they were chasing each other’s tails around the bay. It’s been years, and he’s starting to suspect this is just what they’re like, perpetually snickering like kids breaking curfew, whispering secrets in a blanket fort and constantly one-upping each other. 

from Morning Routines. The whole fic is stupid, silly fun, but I feel like this passage sums up their relationship in a cute way.

You know him like the back of your hand, but he’s scarily good at slipping under your skin to hide. You convince yourself otherwise, but you can never really tell. Not really. But it’s yet another trust you have to fall into, accept the rush of gravity and hope he catches you. 

Trust Fall, chapter one

He looks at you, breathless and disbelieving. Disbelieving your love for him. When it’s the only thing you truly believe in, when nothing in this chaotic world makes sense without him, when it’s the seam keeping your life stitched together.  

You wish he could reach inside your chest, clench your heart tight and feel that it’s more his than your own. You wish you could put your mouth to his ear like a conch shell, and he’d hear the ceaseless waves that lap in the back of your mind whispering his name. You wish he could feel the magnetic pull from somewhere deep in your guts that makes you unable to stop orbiting him. 

You don’t dare imagine what would happen if he stopped letting you love him. 

Trust fall, chapter two

Both of these from Trust Fall are some of the rare instances that I feel like I’ve written analogies that feel complete and make sense for them and the work itself. 

You stare up like you used to, towards the incomprehensible lights of celestial bodies dancing on the surface, towards the never-ending fantasies of freedom forever pulling you towards the next horizon. Except now there is an anchor wrapped up in your tail, with a low, humming purr filling your body and quieting the restless whisper in the undercurrent of your blood and gentle claws tracing patterns over your ribs, all brazen ferociousness gone for listless limbs and a sleepy murmur whenever you shift.

There’s still a pull, a need to see, try, explore more. But maybe you don’t need to leave everything behind to feel free. 

from undertow. I feel like this is the closest I’ll come to writing something about Luca’s “teenage rebellion” need for freedom that might lead him to neglect friendships/relationships for fear of being smothered again, and becoming comfortable with intimacy and vulnerability and being tied down.

Also this line:

You don’t want him to be in love with you unless it hurts.

This whole thing from ch2 of Back Home:

“Do you still love me?” you ask again, but now your breath is slow and calm because you know the answer. But you have to ask. Just in case. 

You know the answer because he’s ripped your heart out and sown it back together; replaced old, festering scabs with gossamer threads of promises and gently placed it back inside. It’s still a fragile, ugly patchwork, but he’ll keep replacing bits and pieces of old hurt with new hope until it’s whole. You know it because he has scratch marks and bruises down his back and neck colored by your love and rage, because he lets you ruin him to save yourself.

You know it because you believe him more than you believe yourself.

“More than anything,” he says in a firm voice, as if it’s a fact as natural and definite as the sun rising and setting. He picks the smoldering stardust off the floor, breathes life back into the stars and places them back into your eyes. He smothers the flaming rage in your veins and replaces your blood with love. Because he loves you. You love him too. You love him more than anything and it hurts more than anything. But it’s worth it for the blissful, warm silence when he looks at you and you know he’s seen everything inside you and still he wants to. He makes your heart into a home and you let him. No matter how many times you tear it down in all-consuming fits of rage, he puts it back in order and you let him. He wants to make you better and you want to let him.

yayyy I love breaking Alberto and putting him back together again<3

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

Maybe how drastic the shift from only writing smut to never writing smut was? haha. Dgmw, I still write smut, but I just... don't finish it. Idk, it always ends up pushing up against things I'm uncomfortable with, or I write myself into corners. I feel like they're always things that aren't really a big deal, but they turn into massive hurdles in my head. And while writing smut is fun, I eventually end up feeling like I'm just writing the same things over and over. Which, y'know, is still fun and doesn't mean it's not valuable! I guess I just get really self-conscious over baring my ass on the internet.

On a more positive note, I think I've managed to keep a bit more distance to my writing. I do often get stuck with writing, and that frustration used to encompass everything and be... not great for me mentally. I used to obsess a lot more about feedback and get really bummed out about "underperforming" works and compare myself a lot to others. Now it's more like... I just chuck stuff I think is neat up on AO3 and don't think much more of it.

I’ve also experimented a lot more with style than I expected, and I guess found my voice a bit more!

ALSO how much Luca POV I’ve written. I still feel like I don’t understand the guy, but he’s fun to write. Alberto POV tends to become ... dark, lol.

[yuuana]

Music Monday #224: Jay Park feat IU - GANADARA release: March 2022 genre: Kpop

I know, I know. Last week was a rolling disaster the whole week, but I'm back now? And still so very, very behind with releases, oops. I've got to revise my schedule a bit, don't know that I'll actually pick up Music May again, seeing as the month is almost over.

I don't really have the energy (or the time left in the day) to do a full deep dive on Jay Park - there's a lot of ground to cover, considering he debuted as leader of 2PM all the way back in 2008, then had to leave the group in 2010 over antis ginning up controversy - but this is such a cute love song that I've been putting off for entirely too long, so here we go. Given his (mostly deserved) reputation for being A Bad Boy, "GANADARA" is an adorably wholesome duet speaking to a difficulty that a language barrier can present. Indeed, the title is a reference to learning hangul - for his tiny desk home concert for NPR, the lyric (ga na da ra ma ba sa) is "translated" as A B C D E F G.

As if the song wasn't already cute enough, the video is even cuter. IU's schedule was jam packed last spring, and while the events of the video aren't what really happened, they're entirely plausible given how much she was doing herself - even a video with only one set and one costume change will still take hours to shoot as directors get additional angles and tweak blocking or have to reshoot because of a boom mic or wardrobe malfunction or any of the other reasons that could come up. I can't remember now if he said why he wasn't doing music shows at the time - the only one I can find now is from an episode of You Heeyul's Sketchbook, which he did with dance crews MVP and HolyBang and even that was two months later. Scheduling conflicts, I imagine.

"GANADARA" is out now wherever you like to stream Kpop. As a content note, should you want to listen to more of Jay Park's music, a lot of his most popular songs don't shy away from being explicitly sexual. The same content warning is on his Tiny Desk concert, in which he shifts some of his hiphop hits to a more jazzy style.

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[lottienatyellowjackets]

thanks for the tag @flameohotfamily !!!

rules: make a new post and list the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and i’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

okay i have a ridiculous amount because i can never commit to anything and some are published but not finished so :)

•eyes like gold

•they’ll talk about us, all the lovers

•496 Minutes With You

•21 Years of Dreams (tbd title lol)

•maiko servant au

•this unrequited mailee fic thats super emo

•like a dog with a bird by your door

•clandestine meetings and stolen stares

•lucky to be born, but also born lucky

•i care for myself the way i used to care about you

•can i dream for a few months more

•my kingdom come undone

im not sure who here writes fics, but from those who i remember @krastbannert, @gothladymai, @seperent ,@thereisnowarinbasingsee and anyone else who wants to do this!!!

[amy-issen]

ok so here it is!! i spent the last week solely making and listening to this playlist like i was POSSESED because this ship is lovely and deserved a nice playlist!  if anyone wants to know why i picked each song, i’m going to ramble about it extensively in the read more, so check that out if you want! hope you enjoy it! also thanks again to @birbwell​ for letting me use her art for the cover!

i divided this playlist in a few sections so let’s start with the first one (section one: first meeting/pining) i. in the rain - joe hisaishi i wanted to start with a short instrumental track to set the mood, and i looooove howl’s moving castle score, so i had to pick this one! the fact that it has rain in the title also helps to reference how their relationship began! ii. with every breath i take - frank sinatra “every breath that I take is a prayer that i’ll make you mine” my sister is a big sinatra/jazz fan (and also a yakuza fan) so she helped me with picking a few of the songs here! this one is very romantic, elegant and beautiful and i thought it fit the mood (and it’s what i think tachibana listens to in his free time lmao).

iii. gold rush - taylor swift “what must it be like to grow up that beautiful? with your hair falling into place like dominoes my mind turns your life into folklore i can't dare to dream about you anymore” this one is my FAVORITE song on this playlist, and one of the first i picked because this song just fits them like a glove. it’s basically pining 101, and i love that what taylor said this song is about “daydreaming about someone then snapping out of it.” i feel like the first part could be from tachibana’s perspective and the second one from kiryu’s (also giving a bit of a glimpse into the future, with the mention of a coastal town they’ll never find together) iv. first love/late spring - mitski “so please, hurry, leave me, i can't breathe please don't say you love me mune ga hachikire-sōde (my heart seems like it’s going to burst)” this one was another song i picked very early on because i love mitski, and i needed to include her here. i just wanted something to symbolize the trust that tachibana and kiryu have to share to work together, and the feelings that emerge from it, if that makes any sense. i don’t think this has a specific perspective, because i feel like this could work from both kiryu’s and tachibana’s (mostly kiryu though) v. real estate - adam melchor “every time I wonder how i'd carry on without you i'm runnin' out of real estate tryna make all the right moves i don't wanna hesitate i would bet the house on you “ do you UNDERSTAND how satisfying it was to find a song named real estate for them?? come ooon. ok that’s not all of my reasoning for it but it’s like. most of it, lmao another song i felt was about trust and feelings. (also a bit of a glimpse into the future, because i’m sad) vi. i get a kick out of you - ella fitzgerald “i get no kick from champagne mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all so tell me why should it be true that i get a kick out of you?” another one my sister recommended. i originally was gonna go with sinatra’s version of this, but i love this one and it just wouldn’t leave my brain. again, one from mostly tachibana’s perspective, get this man to sing this on karaoke night right now. vii. like real people do - hozier  “i will not ask you where you came from i would not ask and neither would you honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips we could just kiss like real people do” this is one of my all time favorites from hozier and, again, it just fit perfectly. tachibana and kiryu have both lived some very... troubled lives so far, and while they’re depending on this trust they have in eachother, none of them really care to know about what they’ve done or who they are. this is mostly from kiryu’s perspective, specially with this metaphor of being rescued/dug up from the earth with the whole being found in the rain and saved by tachibana and his poor driving skills. viii. delicate - taylor swift “this ain't for the best my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me... we can't make any promises now, can we, babe? but you can make me a drink” y’all are going to have to forgive me for picking TWO taylor swift songs but COME OOOON this is another one that i picked early on because i could draw so many parallels between the lyrics and things that they both said in that car scene on chapter 9 (mostly tachibana though) and i kept harassing my sister with screenshots to prove my point and i’m gonna do it again

ANYWAYS i’ve made my case, and now we enter the second section of the playlist at last ( section 2: actual romantic/fluffy songs because this is a ship playlist) i. good old-fashioned lover boy - queen “dining at the ritz we'll meet at nine (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 o'clock) precisely i will pay the bill, you taste the wine driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely just take me back to yours that will be fine” is this a bit of a cliché? yes. did i want to include it because it’s very cute and i’d like to imagine kiryu and tachibana having a nice date night with no people trying to kill them all the time? also yes. i love this song.

ii. stay with me/mayonaka no door - miki matsuraba “you in your gray jacket with that oh-so-familiar coffee stain just as you always are the two of us reflect in the window display stay with me knocking on midnight's door i beg you not to go home tonight” (translated lyrics) is anyone not obsessed with this song lately? this is the only song here i’m blaming tiktok for making me listen to it lol. in any way, this song is deceptive because it sounds really happy but is actually quite melancholic. i thought it fit their relationship well, and it seemed like a good addition to the playlist with it’s 80′s city pop vibes.

iii. on melancholy hill - gorillaz (covered by matt forbes) “just looking out on the day of another dream where you can't get what you want, but you can get me so let's set out to sea, love 'cause you are my medicine when you're close to me" this is a gorillaz song but i went with this cover because it fit the feeling of the playlist a little better. another song that i just love very deeply and i thought fit the sentiment of kiryu being like “hey i know we have Big problems and you’re very sad in the moment but i’m here for you” iv. (i love you) for sentimental reasons - nat king cole "i think of you every morning dream of you every night darling, i'm never lonely whenever you are in sight" surprisingly, not one that my sister recommended, but one i found for myself while looking for quiet  romantic songs. i feel like this is tachibana's reply to kiryu being there for him and helping him. plus, idk i just wanted to imagine them slow dancing to this. v. positions - ariana grande (covered by travis atreo) "perfect, perfect you're too good to be true but I get tired of runnin', fuck it now, i’m runnin' with you" i picked this cover because i felt like using ariana's one would be a little goofy for this section lmao, but i really like this song and how it's about commitment and doing everything to make a relationship work. i just wanted to throw some sexy vibes before this playlist delved into depressing stuff. also if you telling me tachibana wouldn't absolute body a tiktok set to this song you're lying to yourself. (section 3: oh no this is getting sad) i. forever - labrinth "i'll live forever" i love everything labrinth makes, the euphoria soundtrack lives in my mind rent free and this is my favorite one. this barely has any lyrics so, again, mostly a track i picked for its intrumentals and feeling overall. mostly preparing you for the sad stuff ahead. ii. hong kong - gorillaz "you swallow me i'm a pill on your tongue here on the nineteenth floor the neon lights make me calm" this is my favorite gorillaz song, by FAR, and i think it's introspective vibe really fits tachibana's character. not really a song about relationship but i really wanted to include it because it's just such a GORGEOUS song. iii. fragments - severon another instrumental track! this one i stole from a playlist my sister made for a fic i wrote last year. again. sad vibes. iv. sign of the times - harry styles (covered by LANY) "remember everything will be alright we can meet again somewhere somewhere far away from here" i loved the synth-y vibe this cover had, while still keeping this song's sad "our lives are dangerous and i'm about to die" vibes. i mostly wanted to evoke the vibe from the scene where tachibana agrees to go with lao gui after kiryu gets shot. just really sad all around. v. so close - jon mclaughlin "we're so close to reaching that famous happy end almost believing this one's not pretend let's go on dreaming though we know we are so close, so close, and still so far" me? picking a song from disney's enchanted??? for a playlist??? it's more likely than you think. idk this song just gives me that vibe of being so close to being happy and together, almost reminiscing and wondering what could have been. but it just... won't happen. vi. as the world caves in - matt maltese "yes, it's you i welcome death with as the world, as the world caves in" oops, yes, i had to go there. just couldn't resist including this song, and i feel like it's really self-explanatory. vii. places we won't walk - bruno major "neon lights shine bold and bright buildings grow to dizzy heights people come alive at night in places we won't walk" again, i feel like this song speaks for itself. a bit of a meditation on kiryu's perspective on things that could have happened, things they would have done, that kiryu will just have to do alone from now on. viii. carry me out - mitski "i drive when it rains at night, when it rains, i drive and the headlight spirits they lead me down the styx so black it shines and carry me out carry me out"

possibly the saddest and the most powerful song in this playlist, because i just had to put a mitski song again. the image of kiryu carrying tachibana's body is just constantly in my mind when i listen to this, but i could also see this song being from the perspective of tachibana's spirit. ix. arms tonite - mother mother "i died in your arms tonight i slipped through into the afterlife it was nice" lmao this felt a bit like a cruel joke to include, but i didn't want this playlist to end TOO depressingly. it's a nod to tachibana dying in kiryu's arms, sure, but also it's romantic and possibly a little hopeful (tachibana lives au!!! orpheus and eurydice au!!! fuck it, idk!!)  xi. everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears "there's a room where the light won't find you holding hands while the walls come tumbling down when they do, i'll be right behind you so glad we've almost made it so sad they had to fade it everybody wants to rule the world" not a recommendation from my sister, but it is her favorite song, and she was happy that i included it. another 80's bop with sad lyrics! i feel like this is a lovely summary of their story together and it feels like a nice little bow to wrap up the playlist.  i hope you enjoyed my long ass explanations! i might add songs later (or make an entire second playlist altogether for the fic i'm writing rn, but let's not get ahead of ourselves)

[aspenflower17]

Finding You (Part Fourteen of ??)

Hey everyone! I hope you’re all having a good New Year so far! I have a bit of an update after the chapter for y’all.

Edit: Oop! I forgot the link to Part One for any new people! My bad!

Tags (ily all!):  @simpingforsatan @naimena @hachimochi @wrathandgreed @magi-minminxiii @rensphilia @a-dream-at-night @chloelikesobeyme @getbehindme-satan @theuglypugling @oofthelazyweeb @mammonismyfirstman (as always, if you’d like to be put on the tags list, juust let me know in a comment down below, or a DM)

Word Count: 1,961

TW: None? I’m pretty sure?

Mc didn’t know what she was expecting from the song Satan’s brothers pressured him to play, but a gorgeous melancholic love song was not it, though she should have guessed it was a love song from the title. She was entranced from the first couple notes, and the lyrics pulled her in further. They spoke of someone experiencing love for the first time, though they were afraid of their Love fading away and leaving them. She smiled at the cat lyrics, finding herself not surprised Satan would write about them. He seemed like a cat lover, though she had no real basis for the belief.

 Satan’s singing voice was just as nice as his speaking voice and she found herself impressed. It also held a lot of emotion, enough that she was surprised it didn’t affect his singing. Though she had never heard the song before, it seemed extremely familiar. Though, it was a fairly universal concept, so it probably just seemed she’d heard it before. She hadn’t realized she was crying until Mammon offered her a handkerchief. When he finished, everyone clapped, and he started on another song.

“I never thought I’d hear tha’ song again,” Mammon spoke to Mc in a low voice.

“Why?” she asked.

“Oh… Uhhh… Well, it’s about a lost love of his. Once she… disappeared… He played it one more time and then said he’d never play it again.” 

Mc felt her throat constrict a bit at the revelation, “He must be doing better then. When he got his next… lover, he probably started feeling better.”

“He… Uhhh... '' Mammon floundered for words, and Mc found herself eagerly awaiting his next words, “I don’ think he’s dated anyone before or since her. If nothin’ else, she is his firs’ and only love.”

“Did she hurt him?”

“Huh?”

“I just ask because I’ve seen a lot of people, well, humans, who had relationships go sour and closed themselves off emotionally. I was just wondering if that’s what happened to him.”

“Not… Not exactly… She was human and she… died…” Mammon seemed really anxious at this point, and Mc decided not to push the subject further.

A human? Really? Well, that adds another layer to the song. It’s the most permanent level of “leave” there is. He knew going into the relationship it would end. But… If she had been corrupted enough by him, wouldn’t she have gone to the Devildom? Then they could’ve been together… Does that mean she went to the Celestial Realm? Do I know her? Or… Did she get stuck as a wanderer? Either way, why would he play it now? Mammon said he’d sworn off playing it ever again… The questions swirled around in her head as she watched Satan play.

“Ooooo! Ooooo! My turn!”

“Asmo, you can’t play piano,” Satan sighed, already getting up.

“But I can play music off of my DDD now can’t I?” Asmodeus said, waltzing up to what had become a stage.

As Asmo scrolled through what Mc could only assume was his list of songs, Satan came and stood next to her. Mammon even moved over so he could. Mc gave him a small smile and then turned her attention back to Asmodeus, who was gushing about the song he’d found to sing. She was still thinking about all the unanswered questions she had when she felt a breath next to her ear “What did you think?”

Mc almost jumped, but instead found herself glued to her chair, “Of the song? Or your singing?”

“Hmmm… Both.”

“You play and sing wonderfully. The song was beautiful. I could really feel your emotions.”

“Thank you,” Mc felt Satan retreat back to a standing position, and she found she missed his presence.

A huff from the other side of the room caught her attention. Looking over, she caught the tailend of Michael watching Satan with narrowed eyes before turning back to Asmodeus. How strange.

When Asmodeus finished, Lucifer was both begged and forced to play by those in the room. While Mc had to admit he was definitely in a league all his own, she found herself preferring Satan’s playing to Lucifer’s. She cocked her head slightly at the realization.

“Excellent Lucifer! Just exquisite!” Diavolo boomed, giving the Avatar of Pride a standing ovation, “I can’t remember the last time I heard you play!”

“Well, it has been awhile,” Lucifer smiled. His pride seemed to have recovered enough he could properly interact with people again. Mc was happy she was able to avert a crisis, not interested in finding out how a brawl between Michael and Lucifer would go. Though… Would either of them actually get into a physical altercation?...

Mc was so caught up in her thoughts, she didn’t realize the brothers were leaving until they were all asking if she would come to the House of Lamentation at some point.

“... And I would love to paint your nails,” Asmo prattled on, grabbing her hands, “And I know the Devildom’s lack of light can make your skin lose some of its radiance, but I have a moisturizer that can help with that. Oh and-”

“Asmo, come on! Ya want Mc to come visit or not?” Mammon interrupted,

“Mammon, you don’t understand the nuances of keeping yourself looking perfect.”

“Uh, yes. I do. I’m a model. Ya been smellin’ too many of ya fancy products and it’s melted ya brain?”

“I think you’re thinking of yourself, though it was probably when you were trying to con those witches into buying acid, and you drank some.”

“Oi! How do ya know about that?”

“Ugh, there they go again,” a head rested itself on Mc’s shoulder, and she almost jumped until she saw who it was, “Seriously though Mc. You should come over.”

“Yeah. You’re even welcome to bring Luke,” the one brother who she hadn’t talked to added, “Barbatos told me he’s gotten even better at baking.”

“Of course I’ve gotten better at baking! I’m also very good at cooking too,” Luke said, having joined the conversation.

Mc watched at Beelzebub, which is who she figured he must be through the process of elimination, actually started drooling, “Does that mean you’re actually going to come over then?”

Luke smiled fondly, a look Mc wasn’t sure she’d have ever thought he could have for a demon, “If you’d like Beel, I could probably make that happen.”

Beel rushed over to Luke and pulled him into a huge hug. Belphegor removed himself from Mc, walking over to Beelzebub, “Beel, you need to let go of the chihuahua or he’s going to suffocate. Luke can’t make you food if he’s been squished.”

“I’m sorry. I hope these idiots haven’t been bothering you too much.”

“Not at all Lucifer. They were just inviting me over sometime.”

“Well, I suppose it’s time for us to head out,” Lucifer said, starting to gather his brothers.

“You are welcome anytime you want to come over,” Satan’s voice came from behind her.

“I… Thanks. I would really like that.”

“Satan! We’re leaving.”

“I’m coming Lucifer,” Satan called, rolling his eyes, then back to Mc with a smile, “Bye.”

“Bye,” Mc called after him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mc sat in her room hours later, the events of the evening still running through her head. Though she knew Michael wouldn’t approve, she found herself much more at ease and even happier around them than she did around most angels. There was a non-judgmental kindness they all exuded (well, all except Lucifer) that made her feel like she belonged. She found herself excited about the prospect of spending more time with them at the House of Lamentation. She had to laugh a bit, the fact she didn’t fit in with the rest of the angels never more clear than it was now. 

Simeon had told her his time in the Devildom had been extremely enjoyable, the less structured lifestyles if the Devildom a welcome change from the Celestial Realm. She had read his work from that time and it was obvious he had felt a lot more creative in the Devildom, even though he had school responsibilities at the time. While she hadn’t doubted his words, she had always figured the change was mostly due to the fact he had been able to communicate with his lost brothers again. Now she understood what he had been talking about. 

Simeon generally gets along with the other angels too. What would they all say if they found out I prefer the company of the Fallen to them? Everything is just more natural with them. It’s almost like I already know who they are, as strange as that sounds. Especially Satan, though I’ve felt connected to him since I got his letter. Speaking of which, who was it that he mentioned? Lil… Lilly? Lillah? Lillian? Hmmm… I can’t remember. I do know I’ve never heard that name before. Whoever it was seemed to have a great impact on all of the brothers. It can’t be someone they Fell with. I’ve read all the literature about the Fall and I don’t recognize the name. Though there’s a lot about the Fall the Celestial Realm doesn’t talk about. But... Simeon’s also never mentioned anyone with that name before… Maybe it’s time for me to do some more research.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mc stretched, and checked the time on her DDD. She had been in Diavolo’s personal library for over three hours, and she still hadn’t found any mention of the mysterious “L” person. She found plenty of references to Lucifer though. It seemed he and his brothers had been instrumental in helping Diavolo establish order when the old King had started his slumber. What caused this slumber, why it happened, or if it would end was not covered. Mc wanted to research the topic further, but she couldn’t get distracted until she had answered her initial question.

There was a knock at the door, and Barbatos came in carrying a teacup on a saucer, “I thought you might be in here.”

“Oh, hello Barbatos.”

The butler entered the room, and set the tea down on the table Mc was studying at, “I thought you might like some tea.”

“I would actually, thank you. If you would like to, you can take a seat.”

“I suppose that’d be alright,” Barbatos smiled, and sat down in a chair. His eyes glided across the books strewn around Mc, “You’ve got some heavy reading here.”

“Well, I’m trying to figure something out,” Mc sighed, sipping her tea.

“Perhaps I can be of assistance?”

“Maybe, though I don’t remember what it is I’m looking for exactly,” Barbatos simply cocked his head slightly until she continued, “Satan was telling about… Well, a personal experience, and he mentioned someone. I don’t remember their name, but it was someone very close to all the brothers and they had passed away. I was just trying to figure out who it was.”

“You seem very interested in this person,” Barbatos’ tone wasn’t accusatory, but he seemed to expect and answer.

“... I guess I’m just trying to understand them better. Him better,” The last part slipped from Mc’s mouth easily, surprising even her.

“I think I may know who you’re talking about. If I’m correct, you won’t find any references to her in these books. It’s not my place to explain the situation to you however. You should probably go speak with the brothers about her…” the butler paused for a second before continuing, “I believe Michael also knows a lot about the situation, though he doesn’t know the full story,” with that, he got up and pushed his chair in, “I must continue with my duties, but I appreciate the short reprieve. Good night.”

“Night,” Mc called after him. Huh. Michael knows?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Fifteen

 I wanted to let you all know that as it is January, ever since 2014 the first moth of the year has been terrible for me. So far, we are 3 days into 2021, and I have already gotten a near constant tooth ache meaning I’m going to have to go to the dentist, and have gotten sick. I don’t know what else this month has in store for me, but I just wanted to warn you all, if my updates get sporadic or short, that’s why 😬 

[gerrymike]

OK. commentary on my satg playlist. For reasons

lol it wont let me hyperlink but. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0w9pMZtOvP0plqdxT665q7?si=wEFnvdh3Rjaa0p2UX251mQ&dl_branch=1 Plug

1. PIEDMONT (DESTROY BOYS)

Looks like I'm late for the party Everyone knows the attire but me Glass walls separate us Catch a glimpse into different books On different shelves

i.e. teen crisis where u want desperately to live the same life as ppl on the street but also can’t imagine anything worse

2. SWEET ADELINE (ELLIOTT SMITH)

It's a picture-perfect evening and I'm staring down the sun Fully loaded, deaf and dumb and done Waiting for sedation to disconnect my head Or any situation where I'm better off than dead

i.e. she’s alive! is that worse or better. also jfc, you fucking hate hospitals

3. ALAMEDA (ELLIOTT SMITH)

You walk down Alameda  Shuffling your deck of trick cards over everyone Like some precious only son Face down, bow to the champion

also

Walk down Alameda  Brushing off the nightmares you wish Could plague me when I'm awake And now you see your first mistake  Was thinking that you could relate For one or two minutes she liked you But the fix is in

i.e. oops it’s two elliotts in a row, sorry. just. about the connection you can form with someone given just a short period of time, and how sometimes it gets ruined by, like, a werewolf. pretty similar to sweet adeline. mx weisglass gets two songs. plus “precious only son” 😬 “shuffling your deck of trick cards” 😬

4. CAN I PLAY WITH MADNESS (IRON MAIDEN)

Give me the sense to wonder To wonder if I'm free Give me a sense of wonder To know I can be me Give me the strength to hold my head up Spit back in their face

i.e. for Me mostly because i think the whiplash from elliott to maiden is kinda funny. also the gerry VS twisty animosity, in over-the-top wizardy terms. sometimes you are full of hate and that’s OK 😬 

5. ICU (PHOEBE BRIDGERS)

If you're a work of art I'm standing too close I can see the brush strokes I hate your mom I hate it when she opens her mouth It's amazing to me How much you can say When you don't know  What you're talking about

and

I'll climb through the window again But right now it feels good not to stand Then I'll leave it wide open Let the dystopian morning light pour in

i.e. we’re back in london…and, well, yeah. also, song title! we’re still in sacramento, actually, spiritually, at this point in the story

6. CRY FOR JUDAS (THE MOUNTAIN GOATS)

Feel the storm every night Hope it passes by Hallucinate a shady grove where Judas went to die Unfurl the black velvet altar cloth Draw a white chalk Baphomet Mistreat your altar boys long enough and this is what you get

i.e. crew. i think about him

7. IRIS (THE GOO GOO DOLLS)

And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life And sooner or later, it's over I just don't wanna miss you tonight

plus

And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am

i.e. OK. OK. OK. yeah, OK. damn right all you can taste is this moment…yeah OK. SONGS5

8. KILL ALL YOUR FRIENDS (MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE)

It's been 8 bitter years since I've been seeing your face And you're walking away And I will die in this place

to

It's been 10 fucking years since I've been seeing your face round here And you're walking away And I will drown in the fear

i.e. ah…the lyrical differences in the chorus…yes…also i love how raucous this song is despite what it’s about. it’s got satg energy!!! “seeing your face”, of course, is not literal 😬

9. ENCHANTING GHOST (SUFJAN STEVENS)

Don't carry on carrying efforts, oh no, oh oh oh oh Somewhere there's a room for each of us to grow And if it pleases you to leave me, just go, oh oh oh oh Stopping you would stifle your enchanting ghost

and

Did you cut your hands on me? Are my edges sharp? Am I a pest to feed?

i.e. 😬😬😬

10. PAUL (BIG THIEF)

In the blossom of the months I was sure that I'd get driven off with thought So I swallowed all of it As I realized there was no one  Who could kiss away my shit

and PARTICULARLY

Well Paul, I know you said That you'd take me any way I came or went But I'll push you from my brain See, you're gentle baby I couldn't stay, I'd only bring you pain

i.e. HARROWING TERRITORY!!!

11. PITSELEH (ELLIOTT SMITH)

I'll tell you why I Don't wanna know where you are I gotta joke I've been dying to tell you

i.e. sorry. a lot of elliott smith on this playlist. thems the breaks

12. OPHELIA (THE LUMINEERS)

Oh, Ophelia You've been on my mind girl like a drug Oh, Ophelia Heaven help a fool who falls in love

i.e. callbacks to SONGS5…! and more pain

13. CLOUDS (BORNS)

I forget all my dreams I forget everyones name I meet I forget about time and space But I can't stop thinking 'bout your face

i.e. tfw your memory’s shit and also you just threw yourself into the sky and you’re still not over it. yowch!

14. ARCADE (DUNCAN LAWRENCE)

Oh, oh-oh-oh oh Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh All I know, all I know Loving you is a losing game

i.e. sorry i heard this song first in a c#tradora edit and i have never recovered.

15. WARS (OF MONSTERS AND MEN)

Yeah, I love you on the weekends But I'm careless and I'm wicked Yeah, I love you on the weekends It's a cruel war I still have pieces of you stuck on me Pieces of you stuck on me Yeah, I love you on the weekends It's a cruel war

i.e. PIECES OF YOU STUCK ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the only song of the new omam i’ve heard. i never got around to listening to it. but this one slaps

16. MONTERO (LIL NAS X)

Lookin' at the table, all I see is weed and white Baby, you livin' the life, but baby, you ain't livin' right Cocaine and drinkin' with your friends You live in the dark, boy, I cannot pretend

AND

A sign of the times every time that I speak A dime and a nine, it was mine every week What a time, an incline, God was shinin' on me Now I can't leave And now I'm actin' hella elite

AND ESPECIALLY

I want that jet lag from fuckin' and flyin'

i.e. God i love this song. re: avatarhood. YOU CAN’T LEAVE!!! not saying it’s like being a celebrity, but it’s like being a celebrity. dual perspectives here with G + his morality regarding the person he loves being, uh, evil? (you live in the dark / i cannot pretend) and M + debt he owes to his god, erosion of his own morals. also, SHEER F*CKING VIBES

17. GEYSER (MITSKI)

You're my number one You're the one I want And you've turned down Every hand that has beckoned me to come

i.e. love songs that serve double as to your god and to your lover

18. THAT’S WHAT I LIKE (BRUNO MARS)

Jump in the Cadillac (Girl, let's put some miles on it) Anything you want (Just to put a smile on it) You deserve it baby, you deserve it all

i.e. this song is here because i say so. a real “sorry it’s been seven years let me make it up to you” vibe

19. RUN AWAY WITH ME (SUFJAN STEVENS)

And I say, love Come run away with me Sweet, falling remedy Come run away with me

i.e. more grand ridiculous propositions. more to come. but they’re born out of a real frustration with the situation at hand! it sucks! also, “falling remedy”,

20. LET’S GET MARRIED (BLEACHERS)

I'm gonna get right for you, honey I'll take all of my medicine, spend you all my money, yeah I know it's hard enough to love me But I woke up in a safe house singing, "Honey, let's get married"

i.e. bro.

21. I WILL (MITSKI)

And while you sleep I'll be scared So by the time you wake I'll be brave

i.e. a lot of these here are self explanatory..

22. ME & MY DOG (BOYGENIUS)

I had a fever Until I met you Now you make me cool

also

I never said I'd be all right Just thought I could hold myself together But I couldn't breathe, I went outside Don't know why I thought it'd be any better I'm fine now, it doesn't matter

i.e. title is significant. and yeah. just. recovery’s tricky

23. I FOUND (AMBER RUN)

And I've moved further than I thought I could But I missed you more than I thought I would

i.e. this is like a staple song for like. basically. any pairing. but i’m pathetic and it gets me every time. there’s something about it. not sure if i’m going to leave it on this playlist but. hm. yeah

OK that’s a wrap. highly likely i’ll put more songs on this as i go

[tenacityreturns]

aokaga fic alert!

plot: in which kagami and aomine talk about beautiful soul by jesse mccartney and also accidentally injure each other ♥  rating: sfw, very domestic, it’s just them being stupid idiots. also i wrote this in one sitting without taking breaks or reading over it so.... haha.... word count: 2098

it all started with two guys, chilling on the sofa, going through each other’s phones. or more specifically, the music apps (and kagami’s photo reel, but don’t tell anyone because aomine had only gone in looking for something of nigou!). whenever kagami encounters a song title that interests him, he’ll click on it and let about ten seconds play before he changes song again. he gets the idea. 

aomine, meanwhile, will let the songs he finds play in full. not because he respects the skip button and doesn’t want to overuse it, but because he doesn’t understand english and it becomes background noise. he’s just chilling now. legs stretched out over the couch and on top of kagami’s knees, his back leans on the armrest and he thinks about dinner instead. how cheeky he’s feeling with directly impact how extravagant his dining requests will be.

“i just took a screenshot,” kagami says blankly, with a light frown on his face.

“why?”

“i wanted to remember this song, it’s kinda cool.”

“but you’re using my---”

“yeah i know that, i forgot.”

aomine half smiles, returning to the screen. dummy. “i’ll send it to you later.”

he decides to lightly hack his boyfriend and dives onto his instagram. looks up his own page, saves a recent selfie, uploads it from kagami’s account. first, he thinks about captioning it something like sexy, or why is this guy so hot??? but decides against it and instead writes ‘i’ll never be as cool as him :(’ haha. good, harmless prank. who’s this girl that liked it immediately, huh! well, they follow each other, but aomine doesn’t like how snooping around like this is making him feel. his blue eyes will raise, taking in the sight of kagami tapping his hand against aomine’s shin in time with the song. his lips are moving, then his shoulders.

is he... sort of singing along? but to which song? he can’t hear the music from his own phone well enough with kagami’s so nearby, but then... he doesn’t recognise this american music... hm. aomine’s fond smile is forced into a smirk for dignity’s sake.

“what are you doing?”

“huh?” kagami blinks, and the tapping stops. “i used to love this song.”

“used to? it’s on your recently heard playlist, dude.”

“it’s a classic.”

“is it? i never heard of it.”

“me and niji sing it all the time, y’know, just around.”

“okay,” this emotion, unlike the snooping guilt, is straight up jealousy. shut up about nijimura already! we get it! you’re friends! “what’s it about?”

“uh,” cogs turn. his lips move again, maybe in time with the song’s lyrics? aomine isn’t sure. “like, he’s singing about not caring about looks. just... you know, wanting the person’s beautiful soul. that’s what it’s called.”

“sappy,” what a loser. this sounds like the kind of thing satsuki would be interested in for sure. aomine gets an instagram notification from kise and ignores it, then remembers his prank and that this is kagami’s phone! he opens the app again and that blond bastard has written a comment: 

‘looks like you need a new password kagamicchi!’ 

and seen right through the prank! dumb luck. except--- here’s tetsu commenting: 

‘you should never leave your phone with untrustworthy people, kagami-kun.’ 

shut the hell up!

but his oblivious rival distracts the on-coming fury by starting to sing. the tapping against his shin has started again, and he’s still scrolling through the playlist and changing songs, but singing this beautiful soul song. in english. show off! ah, he’s got a nice voice though. and he looks real cute sitting there like that. aomine doesn’t suspect kagami of snooping through the photo reel or posting to instagram, in fact: the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. aomine’s head rocks to lean against the back cushions of the sofa. his fond smile returns.

“you singing about me, bakagami?”

of course he’ll find a way to ruin a perfectly nice moment, and a fleeting glimpse of serenity in his boyfriend. kagami doesn’t look away from his phone, but says something in english that sounded like a comeback. aomine presses his heel into kagami’s thigh, but it incites a more genuine flinch that he’d been expecting and both legs are instantly retracted.

“sorry,” aomine blurts, “i forgot about your leg.”

“what about it?” kagami replies breezily in japanese again ( that is, as breezily as possible through gritted teeth ).

hello again, guilt! aomine rests his knees against the couch, peering around them to watch kagami recover. if he doesn’t in five seconds, aomine will--- no, he can’t last that long. he sits up.

“ah, man, can i get you something?”

“i’m fine, it’s just cramping from sitting so long,”

this guy! they’d not been sitting for half an hour yet! he’s just saying that so aomine won’t feel bad... the bastard... of course he’s going to feel bad!

“wipe that look off your face!” kagami exclaims, “now get outta my way so i can lie down.”

he doesn’t look pissed off, or in pain anymore, which is something. god, wouldn’t it just be easier if kagami could tell him when his half-hearted grumpy statements are genuine or when they’re just him speaking and sounding angry because it’s how he talks? 

aomine rolls himself off the sofa. “is your leg okay?” 

“don’t worry about it,” the redhead returns to aomine’s phone but extends his arm off the sofa. an invitation to join him? but can’t he just say that he isn’t mad right now? ah, look! now he’s glaring at him! “daiki. are you gonna make me say it?”

“say what?”

kagami crunches forward and the arm, still extended, reaches for aomine’s hand. of course he’ll accept the gesture. one second, they’re holding hands ( safe, comfortable, in understanding ), and the next, aomine is falling onto the couch and acutely aware of making sure he doesn’t land on the bad leg.

“be careful!” he scolds, arms bracing against the back of the couch, knees safely avoiding kagami’s limbs. “sheesh!”

“i said don’t worry, didn’t i?”

“i dunno, you talk a lot of shit,” how come aomine’s pissed off at him now!

“what!” kagami launches forward and wraps one of his arms around aomine’s waist, dragging him back as he lies down again.

“taiga!” aomine’s still more concerned about the injury.

“shut up about my fuckin’ leg or i’ll snap you like a toothpick!”

ugh! fine, alright. he’ll give in. aomine definitely sends kagami a look. it’s short-lived, though, and he finds a teasing smile. his hand rests on kagami’s massive bicep. “with these muscles? good luck with a real toothpick, buddy.”

“shut the fuck up, i’ll show you!”

there’s no doubt that kagami hadn’t actually intended to show him, but aomine’s back lasts a total of two seconds of a too-tight hug before it cracks. loudly. it didn’t hurt. caught him off guard, yes, makes him have to pause and stretch his back for a second, sure, but it didn’t hurt. kagami’s staring, aomine notices. not immediately apologising despite the sound, he sees! red eyes are wide, lips tightly turned downwards. he’s waiting to check the damage before damage control kicks in.

“you good?”

“is that all you got?”

“sorry about your back,”

aomine lowers down to lie chest-to-chest. he adjusts so that it’s comfortable to lie with his head on kagami’s shoulder. “yep.”

“does it hurt?”

“nope.”

“good,” and just like that, an arm drapes around aomine’s shoulders and they’re lying in almost silence again. kagami’s phone is somewhere on the other end of the sofa, still playing that muffled song. how long does it go on for?! that beautiful whatever conversation feels like it happened hours ago! of course, it had been the singing that started the teasing which sparked the retort which justified a prod, which had hurt and begun this mess. aomine exhales. kagami starts humming along to what aomine has guessed is the chorus.

“what sorta sappy shit is he saying now?” he closes his eyes.

“uh,” kagami begins to translate the lyrics disjointedly, really having to think about it before he says it in japanese.

I don't want another pretty face I don't want just anyone to hold I don't want my love to go to waste I want you and your beautiful soul

“it sounds better in english,” he then explains, “and when jesse sings it.”

“nah,”

“what do you mean nah?”

oops. well, yeah! alright. so aomine likes kagami’s voice better than this jesse person’s! big whoop! “nothing. so you were definitely singing about me, then.”

“yeah, i got sick of dating hot people and decided to settle.”

“shut the fuck up,” aomine’s smiling, knowing full well that kagami’s not dated anybody before. cheeky little shit!

“all the d-cup supermodels in america, you know.”

“i thought i told you to zip it?” he lifts his head. the stare-off doesn’t last long before kagami just straight up kisses him on the cheek! “hey!”

“can i have my phone back?”

he deliberates being difficult. deliberates telling kagami to get it himself, that he doesn’t know where it is, or just no. for fun, mostly. but then, that kiss had been really cute... and kagami had been kind of nice just now, before the bullshit, about translating and stuff... fine. this once, kagami’s off the hook. saved, even. aomine pushes ( carefully! ) up, finds the phone precariously close to the edge of the sofa, and returns to his place. once comfortable, he’ll hand it over. ah! the prank! he’d forgotten about that. kagami gives aomine his phone too and they are once again silent.

huh. that sure is a lot of facebook likes. his last picture wasn’t even that interesting. or was it? aomine opens the app, trying to recall what it could be about. did he get notifications for likes on things he’d shared? aomine rarely shared anything. oh, to be fair, he did share a video of nigou yesterday saying “he’s the only member of seirin i respect”... was it... that?

a picture aomine absolutely did not post is at the top of his own feed. it’s the seirin team picture, but, naturally, aomine had first seen only tetsu and kagami ( the others are definitely there, but not as interesting or important to look at, you know? ). posted twenty minutes ago. captioned: “i apologise for my last post about seirin, i’m a big idiot. they are really cool”

“hey!” aomine lifts his head up again, though this time, with an expression full of accusation. it meets kagami’s equally offended gaze.

“you posted to my instagram!”

“you posted to facebook! that’s worse!”

“no way!”

“yeah way!”

“everyone knew i got hacked, though,” he grins, “you ain’t slick at all.”

“as if i would ever call myself a big idiot, ever. they would instantly know you posted that to facebook. who else thinks seirin is cool?”

“everyone with brains!”

“bullshit!”

“idiot,”

“dumbass,”

aomine set his head down again. so much for trustworthy boyfriend, kagami taiga! though... isn’t it kind of funny that they both, separately, decided to post to each other’s social media? he’s trying hard to be pissed off about it, but the smile is too strong and, once again, he’s smiling over something kagami has done. satsuki comments under that hacked facebook post:

‘two sides of the same coin.’

which, to the unaware, means nothing. in reality, it makes him think of that thing he’s still accidentally in the habit of saying sometimes. the only one who can beat me is me. maybe kagami really is similar to himself after all? however, it’s hard to imagine that they’re that similar. aomine really likes kagami, after all.

“hey, taiga?”

maybe aomine will tell him he loves him again. does it cheapen it if he’d said it yesterday as well?

“yeah?”

“what’s for dinner?”

chicken.

“chicken, i think.”

aomine blinks. that was almost spooky.

“taiga?”

“still here,”

“love you.”

“pfff,” it’s a scoff! “lame.” insulting!”

aomine pinches him gently in the side. it makes him laugh, even if kagami isn’t that ticklish.

“alright! love you too, obviously. i kissed you, didn’t i?”

“yeah, yeah, yeah. chicken sounds good.”

“are you gonna tell me you love chicken, too? who’s the sap now?”

someone explain why such an irritating response would make aomine’s chest swell as much as that kiss on the cheek? yeah, he’s dead sure if he hadn’t been before. he loves you, kagami taiga, you dumbass, so much. of course he does. they’re two sides of the same coin.

[veliseraptor]

do you have any fics (in any fandom) that you wish had got more attention? and would you like to highlight them now? :D

oh this is a fun question. I feel like every writer has those fics that they wish had gotten more attention and I am certainly no exception. to pick a few...of course, some of these are in small fandoms so the fact that they got less attention is inevitable. but still, they’re ones I’m proud of. (I did not put the Lymond fics on here, though, because my expectations on that scale are sort of ‘if three people read it I’m happy.’)

Girls Like Me, Death Note. 2.1k. This is one of those fics that’s like...kind of a weird one, and I get why it didn’t get a lot of attention, but I’m very fond of it. It was for the concept of Misa/Takada as a pairing, brought on by a rewatch of Death Note with some other folks that included, among other things, a lot of consideration of the way Death Note treats its women. 

Mostly it ended up being more about Misa and misogyny, and very much inspired by the lyrics of the song it’s titled after (by ThouShaltNot):  Girls like me have given up on lending out our eyes / For if and when you bring them back, they've shrunk another size /Your tiny tweezer hands are so precise, but cold as steel /Girls like me are sick of being flesh they touch, but never feel

all my wastelands flower, Doctrine of Labyrinths. 3.8k. I don’t know that I’d actually written explicit Mildmay/Felix before this fic? I can’t remember doing it, anyway. And it’s very much in line with my “service top Mildmay” agenda, which is the only way I can really see him playing that role for Felix, ever. 

And I’m just pleased with how it ended up taking shape, and the fact that for all it’s a very...tender fic, the dysfunction is still very present. I love balancing those things and I felt like I did a good job here.

Iron-black Wolves, Doctrine of Labyrinths. 10.3k. Look, I’m not sure how good this one is but I’m damn proud of it in concept and pretty pleased with the execution, too. Longest fic I’ve written for this fandom thus far (I have longer ones in progress oops), and I just...had fun playing with a whumpy relatively minor canon divergence that doesn’t necessarily actually change much about canon moving forward, but is certainly delightfully self-indulgent in multiple ways.

Still, On With the Show, Doctrine of Labyrinths. 2k. This is an older fic (I think maybe the oldest on this list? other than possibly Girls Like Me, I’m not checking dates), but I’m still pretty pleased with it. The concept was basically “Felix, pre-series, dealing with his anxieties about his old life catching up” - it’s a period of his life that I find interesting and haven’t personally explored much except for here (and in one other fic). I was proud of feeling like I got into some of the headspace of a Felix who is in a very different place than the one I write most of the time.

post war blues, Wheel of Time. 4.8k. This is another one where I’m like. Yes, I know why this didn’t get more attention, I’m not surprised, but I personally really like it, so there. What do you mean, everyone didn’t want post-series fic featuring Min and resurrected Ishamael/Moridin/Elan Morin Tedronai? I mean, I guess I didn’t know that I did until @taimproblem pointed it out to me, but.

Sin to Heaven, Dragon Age. 2.9k. My one and only Dragon Age fic! and of course it is pretty much just “make Cullen suffer, psychologically.” You hand me a situation like we’re given in Kinloch Hold, from a character I’m stupid fond of who is a traumatized mess and a half, and I’m not going to do something with it? Who do you think I am?

tear out all your tenderness, The Untamed. 7k. This is relative, obviously, because by nature of this being a bigger fandom this and the next fic are more popular than many others, but it is a personal XueXiao favorite and I feel like has gotten less attention than some of my other fics for them. Which makes a certain amount of sense! I feel like it doesn’t quite neatly slot into the dynamics I’ve mostly found in my reading, but that’s kind of what I was trying for.

And I really like some of the writing in it. 

Unnatural Selection, The Untamed. 3.1k. Again, relative, and XueYao is always going to be a more minor pairing, but this is the...less popular of the two of those I’ve written (there’s a third in the wings and you know I’m going to do more, right) and I think I actually like it more. The dynamics in both are a lot of fun, and there are certain things about I Come With Knives that I like more, but this one I’m pleased with because it is very much the push-pull of who is in control/who isn’t that I love with these two. 

And the way that they like. Like each other and also really don’t. And just the concept, too, because I didn’t know how much I wanted “fucked up sex in the vicinity of Nie Mingjue’s corpse” until I started writing it. 

we’re not the only ones, MCU. 4.8k. This one is like. Buried deep in Remember This Cold and doesn’t feature the main characters of the verse it is part of, but it’s one of my stealth favorites of the series (with Retrospective another of those). This was my first time writing Sam Wilson POV, and this fic was fun because it let me really...dig into and play with dynamics that don’t usually get to take center stage. 

Also I just had a lot of fun writing Sam trying to wrangle his disaster friends, and basically picking up the team leader role in Steve’s absence, and actually doing really well with it, because he would.

what little girls are made of, MCU. 3.5k. This one was an exchange fic that I wrote intending it to be Sharon/Natasha and it ended up only sort of being a pairing fic, and sort of more being about Natasha’s mild social dysfunction and the ordeal of trying to make friends with a spy who doesn’t really make friends in a normal manner.

I’m really proud of it, actually, and I wish it had gotten more attention.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

i was tagged by my lovely @zukkaclawthorne for the fic writer interview:)

name: corey (corrina is my full name)

fandoms: atla and lok, but i also am planning on posting some miraculous ladybug fanfiction soon (ft. tourettic Alya and Rose), and i may post some ninjago sometime lol

two-shots?: uhhhh the closest thing i have to a two-shot is “there’s a beauty in the fall” but that may end up being three chapters??? i haven’t gotten to write chapter two yet because I’ve been working on my bb fic, so we’ll see haha

most popular multi-chapter: uhh I have two multi-chapters posted as of right now. the one mentioned above and my bb fic “every lovely bloom designed to defend” but that’s like the first multi-chapter I’ve posted (total chapters: nine… amount I’ve posted so far: one. lol)

actual worst part of writing: when you burn yourself out. I have the tendency to get really invested (hyper-fixation✌🏻) and neglect my own personal well-being and once i finish whatever I was writing, i get burnt out and can’t write for one-two weeks and it’s the worst and I hate it because I’ll sit down to write and then. the words literally won’t be written.

how do you choose your titles: mostly song lyrics, but I’m working on creating my own titles lol—it’s hard tho so still, mostly song lyrics (I only have two original titles posted right now lol—the rest are song lyrics oops)

do you outline: only when it’s a longer fic—i don’t outline oneshots. I outlined elbdtd and I’m outlining my zukka frozen au (ywikal hehe) but even still, I didn’t do too much of it…

ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: please so many it hurts. let’s see… jet and sokka frenemies au is one i want to write SO badly but may never write and only daydream. there’s also the ‘five times zuko waited for sokka and one time sokka waited for zuko’ fic idea that i think about a lot. i just. don’t write it. there’s also the gaang+friends dairy queen au I came up with to cope with working at DQ for four years and my boss treating me and the other employees like garbage 🤪 I mean suki is the manager in this and she’s actually nice to them tho—I have more but we’ll stop there for now lol

callouts @ me: stop leaving yourself mean comments on your writing because calling yourself ‘stupid’ and ‘foolish’ and ‘you suck. this sucks. fix it idiot’ doesn’t actually motivate you to fix your problem spots but actually encourages negative reinforcement and if you wouldn’t leave a comment like that to a student, don’t leave it to yourself…

spicy tangential opinion: i agree with what grace said about sokka with tourette’s and ace yue and adhd jet and aro bumi ii and hoh ikki and—)

best writing traits: hm. good question. we’re being positive here so i am not allowed to even imply i’m not a good writer and if i do grace smack me. okay. well, i really like character analysis so i feel like i’m pretty good at understanding characters and writing for them and writing their inner thoughts and such:) i think internal thoughts are probably my strongest trait??? either that or dialogue (though I do love theatre so i have the tendency to get dramatic and theatrical with dialogue… luckily zuko is a dramatic boy so i enjoy writing dramatic zuko lol)

this was fun:) thanks for the tag!

imma tag @gaylord-zuko @zukkadads @littlespoonsokka and @leesbian42 (with no obligations—sorry if you’ve already been tagged, I didn’t have service to see until now lol)