#tk you love ruining my fucking night i swear

[elitehoe]

I'm just gonna turn on Sakura Genesis bye

[himbos-hotline]

do you have a favorite thing you’ve written, and if yes why? -🐦‍⬛

I have a few things that I consider my "favourite" things ive written. Like theres fics that have a special place in my heart for reasons and theres some that I just think are fucking well written in a great way in a writing style that is just me, and thats pretty fucking great like not to brag or anything but all my years of writing I think right this moment is the best ive ever written. I love the art that im sending and showing to yall guys!

NGL theres a lot cuz im getting better at like, being proud of myself nowadays

We made our peace with weariness and let it be. I wrote this on a train going to see Bonnie and Clyde in the theatre. I like how I write kenny here- how I focus on the more unsure, shy almost unwilling participant in everything his body and brain says.

An open hand [for your other man] Again a fic that means a lot to me personally for just how its written. Again I focused on more on the fact that Kenny Omega will do anything for the people that he loves, even if that comes at the expense of said people he loves and himself.

I'll tell you my sins and [you can sharpen your knife] The first of what I think is three fics starring my OC Jay. The most recent fic ive written. It focuses a lot on Jay and Cole relatioonship and the terrifying idea of being known and Cole learning to forgive himself fopr his sins back in NXT. Both Jay and Cole learn that betrayal doesnt always mean the end of everything.

The ghost story would be over Another Jay fic that focuses more on his friendship/brotherhood with the BCC and eventually how she joins the Elite. I dont know why this means a special place in my heart and I swear I know where this fic is going despite my utter lack of updates with it

I find myself alone at night [Unless I'm having sex] Yknow how I constantly talk about Kenny being too scared to love and therefore having to constantly leave Hangman and Hangman constantly expecting to wake up alone. Yeah, thats this entire fic and I know it was meant to be like, a happy fluffy fic but its one of personally, the saddest fics Ive written because at least while writing it, you feel hangmans utter sense of lost and longing consume him by the end.

To you I'm just a man [to me you're all I am] My first ever aew fic. Written when I couldnt tell the Bucks apart and i was producing content daily. It means a lot to me because i think that ive gotten better as a writer but theres some scenes that I think are ngl movie quality; like the flashback would be all sad and hazy and I think the fic feels the same as listening to piano man by billy joell

Would you love me more [If I killed someone for you?] Adam Cole gets murdered the fic. I think this is the fic that has the most fanart potential of mine. Like theres some great imagery that would like, explode so much fanart or other content.

Getting you off is my new favourite hobby The last of the Jay fics on this list, and my first time writing smut. Theres something about this fic that feels so deeply emotional and soft despite being about sex in hangers kitchen. I think its the underlying acceptance adam shows to jay and the utter love that he has for zem before and during and after sex.

Blood is as rare and as sweet as cherry wine 4 thousand words of hangman being so deeply in love with kenny omega it hurts him. Kenny is deep in his cleaner persona [or in my world, cleaner is fronting and kenny is trapped, watching him ruin everyone kenny loves] and this fic, reading it again makes me wanna throw kenny omega into a wall and just let hangman beat the fuck outta him and then fu- *gets shot by TK*

[morganaspendragonss]

Tarlos prompt.

Carlos just had a break down about life. And his mum sorts him out. Which ends in his Mum having a convo with TK about how much Carlos and her were close until the weird coming out thing

thank you so much for your prompt! i hope you enjoy what i came up with!

also written for day 1 of @911lonestarangstweek: Emotional whump + “How do we fix this?”

ao3 | 2.1k

Of all the people TK might have expected to show up at the house when Carlos is on shift, Andrea Reyes is not one of them.

Unfortunately, however, she has, and TK is now painfully aware that he’s barefoot, wearing a stained t-shirt and sweats in front of his boyfriend’s mother, who he has only officially met once. She raises a solitary eyebrow, looking him up and down, and TK flushes deeply.

“Um, Mrs Reyes, hi,” he stammers. “Carlos is at work.”

“I know.” She smirks at his clear surprise, then gestures inside. “Can I come in?”

“Oh, uh, sure.” TK steps aside, wringing his hands together nervously as Mrs Reyes walks in. She looks around the space as though seeing it for the first time, which he vaguely registers as strange, given Carlos has lived here for years. Most of his mind, however, is taken up with freaking out over the fact that Carlos’s mother is here; she had seemed nice enough when Carlos had taken him over for Sunday dinner last week, but TK is in no way prepared for one-on-one interactions yet.

Especially now, when he’s barely been awake for an hour. “I-If you want to take a seat,” he says, trying to tame his anxiety, “I’ll just go and get changed into something a little more, um, presentable.”

He’s about to make a break for the stairs when Mrs Reyes catches his arm, her grip gentle but firm. “Don’t be silly,” she admonishes. “I may be Carlos’s mother, but this is your home too, no?”

“Well… It’s not... We don’t exactly… Can I get you something to drink?”

“You can sit down.”

Mrs Reyes smiles in clear amusement, and TK’s pretty sure he couldn’t be redder if he tried. He studiously avoids eye contact as he shuffles to the opposite end of the couch, sinking down into it with his gaze firmly fixed on his lap. He wishes Carlos were here, but he’s still got hours left on his shift. 

Which reminds him. “Mrs, Reyes, I don’t mean to be rude, but…” He trails off, unsure how to phrase the question without sounding horrifically insulting. 

Thankfully, she seems to understand. “You’re wondering what I’m doing here.”

TK nods. “Not that you’re not welcome!” he hurries to say. “But I figured you’d be here to see Carlos, only he’s not here, so… So.”

He winces at his own awkwardness, knowing he’s cutting a stark contrast to his behaviour at dinner. Sure, he can turn on the charm when he’s prepared and awake and with Carlos, but alone, half-asleep, and totally not expecting a visit? 

He’s doomed.

Mrs Reyes sighs deeply. When TK looks back up at her, her expression has turned sad, a weariness in her face.

“Carlos came by our house before his shift this morning.”

TK raises a surprised eyebrow at the news; Carlos had left at six this morning, and he hadn’t said anything about going to see his parents. Not that he was supposed to, but TK can’t help but worry, especially with the way Mrs Reyes is looking at him.

“You know that two days ago was his first shift back after the suspension, yes?” she continues, nodding at TK’s confirmation. “He… When he arrived this morning, he was distressed, panicking over everything - mostly work, but he hinted at other things that I don’t… I’m not really sure what he was talking about. I was hoping you might have a little more insight?”

TK’s heart clenches at her words, but he forces a smile for Mrs Reyes’s sake. “What did he say?”

“What I understood was that he was anxious about going back to work. He thinks that no-one trusts him anymore, and he said that maybe they were right not to. I told him he was being crazy, but I don’t know if he listened to me.”

“Carlos never told me any of this,” TK whispers, horrified. He’d had no idea Carlos had been struggling so much, and he could kick himself for not pushing when he’d said that he was fine.

Mrs Reyes smiles thinly. “Of course he didn’t,” she says, almost fondly. “My Carlitos is a worrier; he’ll fuss over everyone else and never give a thought to himself, even if it runs him into the ground. I’m sure you know this.” She gestures to the scar on his forehead, and TK reaches up to touch it, running his fingers lightly over the ridged tissue.

He nods, sighing. “I’m sorry,” he says, barely able to look at her now. “I should have made sure he was okay. I asked, of course I did, but -”

Mrs Reyes cuts him off by reaching over to grab his hand. She smiles at him when TK looks up in shock, then squeezes gently. “You are not to blame. Carlitos can be very stubborn, especially when it comes to himself. He gets that from his father.”

She chuckles, then her face takes on that heavy look again and she lets go of TK, sitting back in her seat. “We talked for a while about his worries over work, but there was a point when I don’t think we were just talking about his job anymore. He said something about Gabriel and never being enough for him, but he wouldn’t explain when I asked. He left soon after that.”

TK swallows nervously. He has a pretty good idea what Carlos might have been referring to, but he doesn’t have a clue how to go about talking to Mrs Reyes about it. It feels wrong to do it without Carlos’s knowledge, anyway.

“It was your husband leading the investigation, wasn’t it?” he hedges, trying to steer her in that direction.

“It was, but this was more than that, I’m sure of it.” She sighs, sudden tears glinting in her eyes and - oh, TK is so not prepared for this. “We used to be so close, you know? All of us. But, one day, something changed. I don’t know what, or why, but suddenly he started keeping his distance more, and he stopped talking to us. I love my son, I only want the best for him, but it’s been years and now I don’t know how to help him.”

She meets his eyes, her gaze almost pleading with him. “You clearly care for him, TK, and I’ve never seen my son so happy as when he’s with you. Please, if you know anything… I just want to understand.”

TK bites his lip. Talking about this with Mrs Reyes feels like a betrayal of Carlos, but he’s not seeing a way out of this anymore. If she’s half as stubborn as her son, she won’t leave until she has at least some answers, and there’s no way she’ll believe he knows nothing.

“Did things change when he was around seventeen, by any chance?” he asks eventually, guilt twisting in his gut. “Maybe just after he, um, came out?”

Her lips part in surprise, a small crease forming between her brows. “Yes. But, I don’t understand, are you implying this is because of that? All we care about is that he’s happy, not who he loves; Gabriel and I have always done our best to support Carlos.”

TK winces. “All due respect, Mrs Reyes, but I’m not so sure that’s true.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Look, this is really a conversation you should be having with Carlos, I’ve already said too much -”

“If you have something to say, TK, please, just say it.” The warmth has dropped from Mrs Reyes’s face and she seems to be holding herself tighter. TK’s heart sinks; he’s just ruined things with his boyfriend’s mother. Perfect.

He swallows, staring hard at the floor. “It’s just something that came up after we met you at the market,” he explains quietly. “Carlos...he wasn’t sure how you would react to - to us, so he did what he does best, and chose to protect us both.”

“Protect?” Mrs Reyes’s voice is horrified, and TK looks up to find her staring at him in open confusion. “From what?”

TK doesn’t respond, but his grimace must be enough to tell her all she needs to know. She gasps and lifts a hand to her mouth, eyes shining.

“We thought…” She breaks off, shaking her head. “How do we fix this?”

He sighs. “Mrs Reyes… I can’t speak for Carlos, nor can I claim to fully understand what he’s been through. I came out to my parents when I was fourteen, and they were vocal about their support, to say the least.” TK chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck, his teenage embarrassment returning for a brief moment. “I’m not saying that’s the way to go, god knows it was awkward and overwhelming for all of us, but maybe talking to him would be a start? Carlos knows you love him, ma’am, but it wouldn’t hurt to let him know that you love all of him, if you understand what I mean?”

Mrs Reyes nods, sniffing and wiping at her eyes. “Thank you, TK,” she says, sending him a barely-there smile. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.” She stands and TK hurries to follow, grabbing the door for her.

He’s equal part relieved and worried over her abrupt exit; much longer, and TK thinks he might have lost it, but he can’t shake the feeling that he’s fucked up beyond repair. So, he’s surprised when she turns in the doorway and pulls him into a gentle hug.

“I’m glad Carlitos has you,” she smiled, patting his cheek. “And, it’s Andrea.”

With that, Mrs Reyes walks out, leaving TK staring after her, more than a little confused.

*

That night, TK watches Carlos move about their bedroom, his conversation with Andrea weighing on him as he twists the bedsheets in his hands. He knows he needs to talk to Carlos about it, but he has no idea where to start.

Carlos slides into bed beside him and TK instinctively leans his head on his shoulder. He’s just about worked up enough courage to say something, when Carlos interrupts, playing with TK’s fingers.

“My mom said she stopped by today.”

TK freezes, Carlos’s careful tone sending fear down his spine. He looks up slowly, biting his lip. “I was going to tell you, I swear. I just…couldn’t figure out how.” He pauses, waiting for some sort of reaction, but none is forthcoming. “Did she… Did she tell you what we talked about?”

Carlos hums. “Some of it. She wants me to go over tomorrow to talk about the rest of it.”

TK closes his eyes, slumping back against the headboard. “Shit, Carlos, I’m so sorry. I know I overstepped. I - I shouldn’t have said half of that stuff, I was way out of line -”

“TK.” Carlos’s voice is firm but gentle, cutting through TK’s panicked rambling. He looks over at him, some of his anxiety melting at the small smile on his boyfriend’s face. “You don’t have to apologise.”

“Don’t I?”

Carlos sighs. “Would I have preferred to have been there? Sure. But I’m not mad about anything you said. I know you didn’t really want to; my mom said she practically forced it out of you.”

TK huffs a laugh, but doesn’t try to deny it. “Still,” he says. “Is everything okay between you guys now?”

“We’re fine.” Carlos pulls him close, kissing his cheek. “Don’t worry.”

“Like I could ever stop,” he mutters, resting his head on Carlos’s chest and drawing his arms around him. Carlos moves as if to lie down, but TK stops him, another question burning in his mind. “Why didn’t you say anything about how worried you were to go back to work?”

Carlos tenses, silence dragging out for a brief moment. “I didn’t want to worry you,” he confesses eventually. “You had enough on your plate with the kidnapping and recovering, and I couldn’t add onto all of that. I was dealing with it.”

TK’s heart breaks at the words, tears pricking at his eyes. “Oh, Carlos,” he breathes. He twists to meet Carlos’s gaze, gripping his hands tight. “You know I love you, right?”

Carlos nods, frowning a little. “Of course. I love you, too.”

“Exactly,” TK continues. “This relationship is a two-way street, babe. I know you like caring for people, but you’ve got to let me care for you as well. You can come to me about anything, and I promise I’ll do my best to help you, just like you do for me. Please, let me in, Carlos.”

Carlos blinks, clearing his throat. “I… I’ll try,” he says eventually, ducking his head.

TK smiles. “That’s all I ask.”

[bellakitse]

It takes a Village

It takes a village to raise a child is an African proverb that means that an entire community of people must interact with children for those children to experience and grow in a safe and healthy environment.

* When TK is forced to move in with Judd and Grace Ryder temporarily, he learns he has his own village taking care of him. Along the way, he finds friendships and a love that has been standing right in front of him since the beginning.

E. 19k fic

TK has listened to his father talk for the last 10 minutes without blowing up, and he thinks he should get credit for that.

“Let me see if I got this straight,” he starts when his father has finally stopped proposing his frankly stupid plan. “You want to kick me out of the apartment?”

Owen makes a face at him like he’s annoyed at TK for not understanding. But given that his father has just told him that he thinks working and living together might be a little too much right now, and he’s not telling him to look for a new firehouse, he’s not sure what the misunderstanding is.

“Don’t say it like that,” Owen has the nerve to roll his eyes while TK bites the inside of his mouth to keep from answering with a childish gesture of his own.

“I just think that working together and living together – it’s been a lot now with my diagnosis, and I think a little separation might be good. This shouldn’t be in your face 24/7.”

TK raises an eyebrow at the wording, ever since he found out about Owen’s cancer, he’s noticed that his dad tries not to use the word around him. It’s like TK is five years old again, and Owen is trying to keep him from learning a swear.

“I thought you said I wasn’t weak,” he questions softly, hating that he sounds hurt. He can tell his father instantly picks up on it by the way his eyes soften even more than usual.

Owen sighs as he gets up from behind his desk, coming to sit on the other side of it next to TK.

“I don’t think you’re weak. I know you’re strong. You have always been strong.”

“You want me to move out because you don’t think I can handle seeing you sick,” TK shoots back at him, that’s the point of this conversation after all.

Owen hesitates as he opens his mouth, sighing once more. He puts out his hand, palms up, letting him decide if he wants to take it or not. TK doesn’t for a moment as hurt and anger swirl inside him. In the end though, he can’t deny his father the comfort he seeks and takes his hand.

“I’m worried,” Owen admits, his eyes finding TK’s, they look tired and troubled. “You have been so on top of everything, researching everything about my cancer, keeping up here at work, making sure I have everything I need at home. You’ve been taking care of me.”

“I’m your kid, dad, it’s my job!” he jumps in, not liking the way his dad’s words don’t feel like a positive. Owen gives him a half-smile that is a little sad at the corners.

“And I thank you for it,” Owen answers, clutching his hand. TK responds with a noise of disbelief.

“I do,” he insists sternly. “But your first priority needs to be yourself, and you haven’t been doing that. You missed your group meetings twice this week and your therapist last week.”

TK lets go of Owen’s hand and starts to pace back and forth in his father’s office. He catches a glimpse of the engine room below; their crew goofs around as they clean the truck. “You’re point, please?”

“My point, Tyler,” Owen starts, causing TK to straighten up, his father calling him by his first name, is always serious. “Is that you’ve been so focused on me that you are neglecting yourself. We work and live together. My illness is in your face at all times. Maybe if we didn’t share so much space for a while, you wouldn’t worry so much.”

TK looks at his father with what he hopes is a disbelieving face. “You think I’ll worry less about you if I’m not home to make sure you’re okay? I think there’s a flaw in your thought process, dad.”

Owen smiles dryly at him, but TK can see, his stomach churning, that his dad has made up his mind about this, and once Owen Strand has made up his mind about something, it might as well be set in stone. “Humor me.”

TK racks his brain, trying to find something he can use to persuade his dad that this is a bad idea. “What about wanting to keep me close to make sure I don’t relapse?” he asks desperately, wincing at the hard look his dad gives him.

“That’s not going to happen,” Owen says firmly. “I believe in you,” he continues, making TK feel like shit for bringing it up. “But since I already found you a place, I know I don’t have to worry about that at all.”

TK’s brow knits together in the middle as he gives his dad a confused look. “You have a place for me?” he questions just as there’s a knock on the door.

Owen smiles again, this time a little smug, filling TK with dread. “Yep, and here he is now,” he says, waving towards the door as Judd Ryder walks into the office.

Well shit.

 ֎֎֎

 “Let me see if I got this straight,” TK finds himself saying for the second time in the last hour. “You think that I should move in with Judd and his wife?”

He looks over at the man in question, finding an equally unimpressed expression on his face, so at least he knows Judd agrees with him on this being ridiculous. Owen has gone over his reasons again, that working and living together puts unnecessary stress on TK.

“He has an apartment above his garage,” his dad informs him as he smiles at the man. “Isn’t that right, Judd?”

Judd sighs deeply but nods all the same. “Yeah, Captain. Grace and I rent it out sometimes. It’s currently tenant free.”

Owen’s smile widens to the point he’s all teeth. “See? Perfect!”

TK nods. “Yeah, perfect, I move out so that I don’t ‘worry’ as much about you because that makes complete sense, and you still get to have a babysitter on me. Real perfect, dad,” he finishes with a bit of a shout, feeling instantly like an ass at the hurt look on his dad’s face.

“I mean,” Judd clears his throat, drawing their attention to him. “He’s got a point.”

TK points victoriously at Judd, looking back at Owen. He lets out a sigh at the serious look on his face.

“You’re not weak,” his father starts, making TK tense up.

His eyes flicker back to Judd, who is looking away to give them as much privacy as he can when he’s still in the room. “That’s not what this is about, but I would be lying if I say that I’m not worried about this negatively affecting you. I wouldn’t forgive myself if this causes you to backtrack.”

TK looks at his father, there’s pain and worry in his eyes, and TK knows that the cancer isn’t what scares his father at all right now.

As always, his worry starts and ends with TK. He wonders for the first time since this conversation started if his dad has been taking care of himself as much as he should, or has his focus been once again TK.

He swallows hard, overwhelmed by his father’s unconditional love – what he didn’t get from his mom, he got in spades from his dad.

“Okay, dad,” he starts quietly, holding his hand up when his father begins to smile. “I’ll agree to this on one condition. I’ll move in with Judd, give us some space. I’ll even focus on myself and go to my meetings. But – “

He points a finger at his dad, making sure he’s listening. “I get to go to all your doctor appointments with you, not just your chemo sessions, and if they say you’re getting worse, I move back, and I take care of you without you being annoying.”

Owen pouts, and TK can’t help but smile for the first time since this conversation started. “I’m not annoying.”

“You’re always annoying, dad,” he laughs as his dad’s pout deepens. He turns towards Judd, raising an eyebrow at him. “How does your wife feel about you bringing a stray home?”

Judd smirks at him, and TK knows he’s going to hate what comes out of his mouth next.

“Oh, no worries man, Grace has always wanted a puppy,” Judd’s smile widens when TK scowls at him. “Now I’m bringing home a golden retriever? Shit, I’m going to earn major husband points with this.”

TK is full-on glaring at the older man when his father lets out a snort, and he turns his ire towards his dad, narrowing his eyes at the innocent smile his dad tries to give him.

He stands up, heading towards the door. “I hate you both,” he declares as he leaves, grinding his teeth as his back is met with laughter.

Assholes.

֎֎֎

 “He called me a golden retriever!”

“I mean, that’s like the best dog breed there is.”

TK pauses in the middle of his rant to shoot Carlos Reyes a dirty look. The police officer doesn’t look the least bit fazed as he bites into his taco. They’re both off shift, eating out of what Carlos claims is the best food truck in Austin. The cop offers him a soft smirk that makes his already handsome face even prettier. It’s fucking distracting when TK is trying to wallow in his pissy mood.

“I was going to put out tonight,” he tells him, getting a raised eyebrow in return. “That comment just ruined your chances.”

“You’re talking about another guy on our date again,” Carlos points out with a serious look on his face, though the way his eyes twinkle with amusement betray him. “The same guy as last time. If anyone is not putting out, it’s me, Tyler Kennedy.”

TK makes a scrunched-up face at his full name and the comment. “That’s an empty threat if I ever heard one,” he scoffs at him.

Carlos gives him a shark-like grin in return. “That’s funny; I was thinking the same thing about your threat.”

TK rolls his eyes at him. “I don’t find you as hot as you think I do,” he lies, feeling his heart tick up at the way Carlos’ eyes darken. TK watches as he licks his lips before rising from his chair to lean over the small outdoor table they’re using, bringing his face close to his.

“Are we just going to lie all night, Ty?” he questions softly, a slow-growing smile on his face when TK is helpless but to stare at Carlos’ full mouth. “Is that what we’re doing?”

“Umm…”

His eyes shut as Carlos’ mouth brushes against his for a second, the slightest touch, before he pulls away and sits back down.

TK can’t help it as he sways forward in his chair chasing after Carlos’ mouth, only to find air. When he opens his eyes, he finds Carlos staring at him with a smug look on his face.

“That’s what I thought,” Carlos says with a tilt of his eyebrows.

TK wants to be mad, but he can’t in the face of Carlos’ playfulness. After their less than stellar beginnings, what they are now – they aren’t putting a label to it yet, but TK looks forward to every second he spends with Carlos more than anything else – is nice and comfortable, while also being exciting in a way that just a look or touch from Carlos has a way of making his heart speed up.

They finish their tacos and jarritos, throwing their garbage away before they wave their goodbyes at the food truck owners. Carlos thanks them for the food in Spanish, a friendly smile on his face before turning back towards him.

“You want to walk for a little bit?” Carlos questions throwing his arm around his shoulders, and TK agrees, slipping his arm around Carlos’ waist. “So, besides the golden retriever comment, how do you feel about this?”

TK stays quiet for a moment, trying to think how to word what he’s feeling. He doesn’t think moving away from his dad is going to serve to distance himself from the situation. Ever since finding out about his father’s cancer, it’s become a constant thought in his head even in the background. He doubts that will change, but he also wants to make things easier for his dad anyway possible, and if this is what it takes, then so be it.

“He’s worried about me,” he says finally. “He’s worried I’ll be so focused on him, I’ll relapse,” he continues softly, swallowing down the lump forming in his throat. “Which is fair, I’ve proven I can’t always handle a stressful situation without reaching for the Oxy.”

Carlos stops in his tracks, they’re in the middle of an active street downtown, and a few people throw them dirty looks, huffing as they go around them, but Carlos ignores them all as he turns to face him. “Do you think you’ll relapse?”

TK looks into Carlos’ kind brown eyes, finding no judgment, just compassion, and patience. It makes the knot behind his ribcage loosen.

“No.”

Carlos raises an eyebrow at him. “No, what?”

TK narrows his eyes at him, but he can’t help the small quirk of his lips. “No, I’m not going to relapse,” he states, not being able to help the smile that grows as Carlos looks at him proudly.

Carlos’ warm hand cups the back of his neck, squeezing it, his fingertips digging into the base of his skull, it makes TK feel instantly relaxed. “That’s right; you’re not. You know it, and I think Captain Strand knows it too. He worries because he’s your dad, TK. Not because he thinks you can’t handle things.”

TK brings up his hands, touching Carlos’ arms in a gentle hold, he hopes Carlos understands it’s his way of saying thank you. The way Carlos’ eyes go even softer makes him think the man gets it.  “That’s what he said,” TK admits. “But he’s still worried, and I’m starting to realize that he’s not focusing on himself while focusing on me, so if this helps – “

“You’re willing to do it,” Carlos finishes for him.

“Yeah,” he says, sighing deeply. “It won’t be so bad, right? It’s not inside Judd’s home, so hopefully, I won’t bother him and his wife too much.”

“I’m sure it will be fine,” Carlos reassures him as they start walking again. He pauses, and out of the corner of his eye, TK can see him lick his lips, his expression hesitant as he continues. TK can feel him tense up under his hand. “And you’re always welcomed at my place if you need an escape,” he turns his head to look at TK, speaking softly. “Anytime you want.”

TK feels his heart stutter; he ducks his face into the crook of Carlos’ neck to not show it. “Thank you,” he whispers, pressing his lips against the underside of Carlos’ jaw.

Carlos pulls him closer; he feels Carlos press a kiss into his hairline. “Anything I can do to help, you let me know.”

 ֎֎֎

 “You have a lot of stuff.”

TK looks up at Carlos from where he’s putting down a box in his new place. The apartment above Judd’s garage is surprisingly big. His first studio apartment in Manhattan was half the size. Texas’ real estate doesn’t stop shocking him.

“I’m not surprised, given all the stuff the Cap has at the station, figures his kid would be high maintenance too,” Judd comments, coming up behind Carlos with another box.

TK rolls his eyes at the older man, earning himself a smirk from the cowboy. Judd had greeted TK and Carlos outside as they drove up with TK’s things, a friendly smile on his face as he started to help Carlos and TK unload.

“You offered to help,” TK points at Carlos with his index finger.

“I’m not complaining, just making an observation,” Carlos answers, closing the space between them. “It’s just more than I expected.”

“I like my things; they make me who I am.”

“And I like who you are,” Carlos says easily, catching TK off guard with his casual sincerity. “So, I like them too.”

TK looks down at his feet, feeling his body go warm. After a moment, he looks back up at Carlos, finding his gaze on him. “Thanks,” he says softly as he sways into Carlos’ space, ready to thank him with more than words when he hears gagging by the window.

He turns his head, finding Judd watching them with an unimpressed look on his face. “Oh no, by all means, continue to moon over each other, I’ll get the rest of the Princess’ things myself,” Judd says sarcastically.

TK opens his mouth to shoot back when a beautiful woman he’s seen with Judd at the bar walks up the stairs. He instantly recognizes her as Judd’s wife, and thinks silently that she’s even prettier up close than what he already thought. Judd really married up.

“Judson Ryder, I hope I didn’t hear you being rude to our new tenant.”

Oh yeah, he likes her, TK thinks, curbing the desire to smirk as Judd starts to try and talk his way out of his wife’s hard stare.

“I was helping,” Judd grumbles, pouting at his wife, the tiniest of smiles on his face when Grace rolls her eyes at him. “Then, they started to get all gooey with each other. I had to put a stop to it before they completely forgot I was even in the room.”

TK feels Carlos shake with silent laughter next to him, when he looks up, he finds the man grinning shamelessly at him.

Grace looks up towards the sky for a second, an amused smile on her face as she looks back at her husband. TK watches in amazement as the big gruff man melts under her gaze. She looks over at Carlos and him, that smile still on her pretty face. “You’ll have to excuse Judd, he’s an emotionally stunted Texan,” she grins when TK can’t help his snort as Judd gives a protesting ‘Baby!’

“He also seems to have forgotten his manners,” Grace continues, stepping further into the apartment. “I’m Grace Ryder.”

“TK Strand,” TK says, extending his hand to her. “Nice to officially meet you, sorry I’m invading your home, but I’ll try to stay out of the way.”

Grace motions his words away with one hand while holding on to his other. “Don’t speak such nonsense; you’re very welcome here. The apartment has a small kitchen, but please feel free to come into the house if you need anything.”

“I’m not much of a cook, but thank you,” TK confesses with a shrug, turning to introduce the man next to him. “This is Carlos.”

“Carlos Reyes, ma’am, nice to meet you,” Carlos takes a step forward, shaking her hand as well. “I’ve heard you on the dispatch calls.”

“Me too, Officer Reyes, nice to put a face to the voice,” Grace smiles at Carlos with a twinkle in her eye as she looks at him. “Especially since it’s such a nice face.”

Carlos gives her a wide grin, though TK spots the hint of a blush high on his cheeks. “Thank you, ma’am.”

“Call me Grace, please,” she tells him, turning back to TK. “That goes for both of you.”

TK smiles as he feels warmth and sincerity from her.

“Are you two done flirting with my wife?” Judd asks with a raised eyebrow when they all look over at him. “Pretty boy still has more boxes to bring in.”

Grace shakes her head, her mouth curving upward. She closes the space between her and Judd, placing her hand on his shoulder she goes to her toes to kiss him. TK watches as Judd melts again, holding her close.

“I’m going to start dinner, how does chili sound?” she questions Judd, making him close his eyes, a smile on his face.

“Like heaven, baby,” he answers, placing a kiss into her curls.

“Okay,” she says softly before looking back at TK and Carlos.

“You’re joining us, TK,” she says, pointing at him when TK opens his mouth to say he doesn’t want to intrude. “That wasn’t a request. It’s your first night here, and I want to get to know you. Carlos, can you join us?”

Carlos shakes his head regrettably. “I have a shift in two hours, so I have to go home soon to change. Raincheck?”

Grace looks at Carlos for a moment before nodding once. “I’m holding you to that.”

She turns back to Judd. “Finish helping and then bring TK into the house,” she tells him as she turns to leave.

“Yes ma’am,” Judd calls out as she leaves them alone.

“Dude,” TK starts, letting out a whistle. “I think I’m in love with your wife.”

Judd shoots him a look that is a cross between annoyed at him for the comment but also proud because, of course, everyone should love his wife.

“Thin ice Strand,” Judd gives him a look that lacks heat before heading back down the stairs for more boxes, leaving TK alone with Carlos.

Carlos slides in behind him, wrapping his arms around TK’s chest. “You know what I think?”

“What?” he asks, leaning back into Carlos’ embrace, he shivers as Carlos presses his nose against the shell of his ear.

“I think it’s going to be hilarious to watch Judd lose it as you charm his wife,” Carlos says, humor coloring his voice.

TK laughs, silently agreeing but putting up a front. “Who says I’m going to charm her? She might end up not liking me.”

Carlos snorts softly, his lips brush against his neck, making TK shiver. “Have you ever not charmed someone, TK?”

TK chuckles again, turning in Carlos’ hold. “Is that your way of saying I’m charming, did I charm you?” he teases, grinning when Carlos lets out a huff.

Carlos cradles his face, tilting it up, his lips hover over TK’s. He tries to move forward to close the hair-thin distance, the desire to kiss Carlos overwhelming.

“I’ve been charmed by you since the moment you sucked at line dancing,” Carlos says softly, his voice so smooth it takes TK a moment to understand the diss.

“Hey –” he starts, only for the rest to get muffled as a grinning Carlos covers his mouth with his. He deepens the kiss, making TK’s toes curl inside his sneakers, and TK figures his comeback can wait.

 ֎֎֎

 They finish bringing the rest of his stuff in, and Carlos leaves after giving him a soft kiss goodbye and a promise they’ll talk later, all under Judd’s watchful eye.

TK turns to his crew member after Carlos has pulled out of the driveway to find Judd looking at him with a smug realizing expression on his face.

“What?” he questions as he follows him into his home.

Judd ignores him, laughing as he crosses the living room and goes to the kitchen with TK hot on his heel. Grace looks up from a pot, raising an eyebrow at them as Judd continues to chuckle, much to TK’s annoyance.

“What’s so funny?” Grace questions as she stirs, a half-smile on her face at Judd’s amusement.

Judd turns towards them from where he’s been digging in the refrigerator, pulling out two bottled waters, throwing one at TK.

“That’s what I’m asking,” he says, opening the offered water. “Your husband has a case of the giggles.”

Grace looks back at Judd. “Judson?”

Judd chuckles again, walking over to his wife. “TK and Reyes,” he starts, he makes a ridiculous kissy-face and lets out a deep sigh.

TK feels his face go hot at the obvious implications. “We’re friends,” he blurts out, he feels his face get hotter when Grace and Judd look over at him unconvinced.

“Oh sweetheart,” Grace starts, giving TK a tenderly amused smile. “I’m sorry, but that dog won’t hunt.”

TK frowns, confused. “I’m not sure what that means.”

Judd gives him a wide smirk. “It’s southern, for you are full of shit.”

TK opens his mouth to protest only to close it again, frowning at himself. He’s not lying, he and Carlos are friends. He likes his crew a lot, but after his dad, Carlos is the person he’s closest to in Austin, or at all these days. He hasn’t kept up with his friends back in New York, between settling into a new firehouse, his recovery, and now his dad’s health problems, those friendships have fallen sideways, especially since a lot of his friends where Alex’s friends too. Carlos is the only one that knows about his struggles, though he’s sure his crew has an inkling since he never drinks when they go out. Judd, who’s closer to his dad and Paul, who never misses a beat, probably have their thoughts. But Carlos knows because TK told him. That evening at the police station, he didn’t have to explain, and yet he did. He couldn’t help but tell him, a part of him hoping that Carlos would understand and that opening up to him would give them another chance after the failed dinner.

He told Carlos because he wants him in his life, he likes spending time with him. The sex is amazing, but just getting a bite to eat, catching up on their day, making Carlos laugh, or getting him to look at him in that way of his, that makes TK feel worthwhile, is more than amazing, it’s extraordinary. And like a true addict, he craves more of it, more of his attention and affection, two things Carlos gives him without hesitation. So, he guesses Grace and Judd have a point in suggesting he’s not being honest in the description of his and Carlos’ relationship.

A hand on his forearm pulls him out of his thoughts, and he finds Grace in front of him, a gentle smile on her face as she holds up a bowl of chili. She doesn’t say anything as she hands it to him, but there’s a look of understanding in her dark eyes that settles the sudden barge of thoughts in his head.

“Let’s eat,” she says, nodding toward the set-up dining room table with her chin. “Not to brag, but I make the best chili in the state.”

“Brag, baby,” Judd says as they walk towards the table, each taking a seat. “It’s heaven in a bowl kid, get ready to see nirvana.”

TK smiles, biting into what is honestly the best tasting chili he’s ever tried. He makes a noise that has Grace giving him a wide pleased grin. He continues eating, speaking when Grace asks him a question, adding to Judd’s stories about work. It’s nice, much more comfortable than he thought it would be, and he feels as he makes Grace laugh while telling her about a call they had the other day, that maybe this living situation won’t be so bad.

 ֎֎֎

 TK lays down in his new room, the phone in his hand tells him it’s after midnight. The rest of dinner had gone well, and he’d spent some time with the Ryders before excusing himself for the night, telling the couple he needed sleep. The only problem now is that he’s in bed and he’s wide awake. Without thinking, he pulls up his messages, typing one out to Carlos before he questions himself.

‘What are you doing? Catch any bad guys?’

He doesn’t have to wait long before he sees the writing bubbles appear.

‘Yes, actually, and as a reward, I get to stay at the station until I finish writing up my report. What are you doing up? Don’t you have an early shift? 7 am, right?’

TK smiles, feeling warm at the fact that Carlos remembers his schedule.

‘Can’t sleep, brain is too loud.’

TK waits for Carlos to answer, startling when his phone starts to ring instead. He picks up the phone on the second ring. “You didn’t have to call,” he protests softly instead of greeting Carlos.

“It’s fine,” Carlos reassures him. “Are you okay?”

“I can’t sleep,” TK mutters, surprised when he feels frustration tears spring up. “Can’t quiet down my brain.”

“What do you need, Ty?” Carlos questions softly, the tone in his voice lets TK know without a doubt, that Carlos will do anything to make it better for him.

“You?” TK answers in a moment of honesty and weakness. He knows if Carlos were here touching him, he would be able to sleep afterward.

Carlos inhales sharply before going quiet, and all TK can hear is shuffling.

“I locked myself in the supply closet,” he says like it’s supposed to make any sense to TK.

“What do you need,” he repeats with intention, and TK gets what he means so suddenly it leaves him breathless as he realizes what Carlos is offering, hardening instantly.

“You,” he says again, this time with a sigh as he settles deeper into his bed, palming himself through his pants.

Carlos makes a soft, considering sound. “And what would you want me to do if I was there right now? Help you out of your clothes?”

“I’m just in bottoms,” TK answers, feeling a shiver as Carlos lets out a pleased hum.

“That makes it easier,” Carlos answers, his voice still smooth and controlled. “I could take them off myself, or have you do it, put on a show for me. Do you want to take them off?”

TK holds the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he kicks off his pants.

“Are you hard, Tyler?” Carlos questions.

“For you?” TK asks, teasing a bit. “Always.”

Carlos laughs softly. “I bet you look good, you always do, but you’re even prettier when you’re hard. Your skin gets all flushed, your cock pink and leaking. You have such a pretty cock baby. I want to get on my knees for you all the time.”

TK makes a whining noise at the picture in his head Carlos’ words make. He grabs hold of his dick and squeezes at the base to keep from coming. This is barely getting started, and he can’t believe Carlos is having phone sex with him while on shift, but he plans on enjoying himself.

“Is that what you want, TK?” Carlos asks softly. “My mouth on you? I like it, fuck, TK, I love it,” Carlos lets out a sound that makes TK’s stomach clench with need. “You taste amazing, the feel of you in my mouth and the sounds you make? I can’t get enough of those sounds. You just beg so pretty.”

“Carlos, please,” TK pleads.

“Yeah,” Carlos sighs. “Just like that.”

TK makes another noise at how Carlos sounds.

“Start touching yourself,” Carlos orders him, and TK is more than happy to listen. “Slowly. Make it last.”

TK does as he’s told, his strokes are soft and slow as he teases himself.

“I like sucking you off,” Carlos picks up the narrative again. “But I love eating you out even more. You always seem so surprised.”

“Not every guy likes doing that,” TK answers, not bothering to mention his ex.

Carlos hears it all the same. “He’s an idiot,” he says quickly before moving on. “I love it. If I were there with you right now, I would suck you just long enough to make you beg, but then I would turn you over, get that hot ass of yours in the air. You’d be shaking, knowing what’s coming as I spread you open. I would make you wait though, just touch my fingertips to your sweet hole.”

TK tightens his hold on his dick when he feels his hole clench at Carlos’ words. He feels empty as it spasms around nothing.

“After playing with you for a bit, I would give you the first soft lick, circling your hole as my finger pressed in the tiniest bit. Would you like that?”

TK makes a desperate noise. Yes, of course, he would like that.

“Use your words baby,” Carlos whispers. “Do you want my tongue?”

“Yes,” TK gets out, trying to take a deep breath, feeling it catch in his lungs. “I want your tongue.”

“I’ll give you whatever you want, TK,” Carlos continues, his voice just as low but rougher, and all TK can picture is Carlos hard in his uniform while his coworkers are on the other side of the door, not knowing that Carlos is taking TK apart with just a few words and promises.

“I’ll give you my tongue, lick you open, suck on your rim until it’s red and puffy, and you’re crying into the mattress, your legs spread for me, begging for more as you push yourself into my mouth seeking to get off. It’s not enough though, is it, Ty? You need more than my tongue teasing you.”

“Yes,” TK gasps, stroking himself harder with one hand, lights starting to go off behind his eyelids as the beginning of his orgasm builds at the base of his spine. He lets his other hand slip behind his balls, pressing against his perineum, making his body shake. His dick shoots off once.  “I need your cock, Carlos. I need it so bad. I need to be full.”

“You’re close,” Carlos whispers, groaning softly into the phone.

“I’m there,” TK let’s out a shaky laugh as his hand moves faster to chase after the high.

“The next time we’re alone, I’m going to do everything I just promised,” Carlos swears hotly. TK’s breath halts in his lungs at how wrecked Carlos sounds. “I’m going to fill you up until all you know is me and my cock.”

TK comes in spurts, moaning loudly as he makes a mess of his chest and stomach. He keeps tugging on himself until he gets the last drop out and lets go of his spent dick.

Everything is quiet for a moment; the silence filled with only their breathing.

“Think you can sleep now?” Carlos questions quietly, and TK lets’ out a tired laugh. He’ll be lucky if he hears his alarm, he’s so relaxed and sleepy now. He tells Carlos, earning a chuckle from him.

“I’m glad,” he says, and TK can hear the smile in his voice. “Now, I’m going to go recite the APD manual to calm down; you go to sleep.”

TK feels something warm spread through him as he hears the fondness in Carlos’ voice. “The next time we’re alone –“

“I’m not letting you out of my bed until I’ve had my fill,” Carlos promises, making TK shiver.

“I’m going to hold you to that,” he whispers back.

“Go to sleep, cariño,” Carlos orders him tenderly before TK ends the call and once again does as he’s told.

 ֎֎֎

 “Hey, look! It’s the roommates!” Marjan calls out as he and Judd walk into the station.

“And they have matching lunch bags, that’s so sweet,” Paul teases as he comes over, pointing at the brown paper bags in their hands. The morning was rushed. After his late call with Carlos, TK had slept like a baby, and like predicted almost slept through his alarm. Luckily, he wasn’t the only one running late since Judd overslept too, neither having time for breakfast. Grace took pity on them and packed them egg sandwiches and some fruit to go.

TK tells them as such, getting a grin from Marjan and Paul in return. “Damn, maybe we should move in with Judd and his wife,” Paul questions, looking over at Marjan who nods back at him.

“No more strays,” Judd declares, smirking in his direction.

TK waits for the comment to annoy him, but it doesn’t come. It’s taken him a while, but he’s starting to understand Judd’s brand of humor, and the sibling-like roles they’ve taken with each other.

If Judd can be the aggravated older brother, TK can play the bratty younger one. “You’re just worried that I’ve only been there one day, and Grace already loves me,” he says, grinning when Judd lets out a huff.

His smile grows when Judd doesn’t answer with anything other than a grumpy ‘whatever.’

“TK charming your wife, Ryder?” Owen asks as he comes over, having overheard their conversation.

“It’s the Strand charm,” TK says to his dad, amused when his father puffs up his chest.

“That’s my boy,” Owen says, grinning widely when Judd shakes his head, muttering about pain in the ass Yankees as he walks away from them.

Marjan and Paul follow him, teasing as they go, leaving TK alone with his dad.

“How was your first night there?” Owen asks quietly. “Okay?”

TK nods quickly, reassuring his dad when he hears the worry in his voice. “Yeah, everything was fine. Grace is very welcoming; she made the most amazing chili, and Judd was his usual gruff self, but you know that’s just the way he is. He’ll take the shirt off his own back if it helps someone. He helped me with my stuff.”

“Sorry I couldn’t be there,” Owen says with an apologetic look. “I had to go over paperwork with Captain Blake.”

TK shrugs, knowing this the day before. “That’s okay, Carlos helped out too.”

He realizes his mistake when Owen raises an eyebrow at him. “Officer Reyes? That was nice of him.”

TK clears his throat, shifting from one foot to another, he hasn’t talked about Carlos with his dad yet, not knowing what to say.

That they hang out? They have sex? That Carlos is the first person he reaches out for when he can’t sleep?

He blushes slightly when he thinks about the night before.

“Well, he’s a nice guy,” TK stutters, feeling like when he was 14, and had his first crush on a boy while his father gave him the same knowing grin he’s giving him now.

“That he is,” Owen answers with a small chuckle as TK’s blush deepens.

“Shut up, dad,” he mutters, walking away to the sound of his dad’s laughter.

 ֎֎֎

 They get called to a three-car accident downtown a little after two. Austin Police is already there, and TK spots Carlos taking statements from a witness. The moment he spots them, Carlos wraps up with the woman to walk over to them.

“Captain,” he greets Owen, his eyes finding TK’s for a moment before he starts to explain the situation. “Green Chevy ran the red light at top speed, t-boning the silver Sedan before getting its rear hit by the truck,” Carlos points. “The truck driver is fine, the idiot in the Chevy seems fine too, Michelle is checking him out. The sedan driver is conscious, but we can’t get her out, a teenager named Lily.”

Owen nods and starts calling out orders after assessing the situation. It doesn’t take them long to pry open the car, the girl inside is awake the whole time but crying.

“My dad is going to be so pissed,” she sobs, letting out a pained groan as they get her out as gently as they can. “It’s his car.”

“Your dad isn’t going to care about the car,” he tells her as they put her on the stretcher where Michelle is waiting to take over. “He can get a new car, not a new you, Lily,” he gives her a kind smile when she gives him a small nod.

He starts to walk back towards the fire truck, picking up some of their equipment.

“Good job,” Carlos says as he falls into step with him.

“You too,” he answers, stopping half-way from the truck to speak to him.

“Did you sleep well?” Carlos asks curiously, the hint of a smile on his face.

TK feels himself go hot, and he knows it has nothing to do with having his safety gear on, or the Austin weather, it has everything to do with the heat he sees in Carlos’ gaze as he looks at him.

“Better than I’ve slept in months,” TK admits, his pulse spiking as Carlos’ eyes darken even further.

Carlos takes a step closer to him, angling his body as he leans in to whisper into TK’s ear. “Think how much better you’ll sleep if you spent the whole night in my bed.”

TK’s breath hitches, they haven’t done that yet, every one of their encounters has ended with TK leaving afterward.

“There’s a saying down here,” Carlos continues in a low voice that makes TK shiver. “Rode hard and put away wet.”

TK swallows hard as he looks at Carlos, wobbling slightly into his space, causing Carlos to smirk.

“I’m going to wear you out,” Carlos promises, his tongue licks at his bottom lip, and all TK can do is follow the movement with his eyes and try not to whimper.

“My shift ends at eight,” he says, not even trying to be coy. He knows what he wants, and right now, it starts and ends with Carlos Reyes.

Carlos gives him a slow grin, his eyes sparkling with joy and promise. “I’ll pick you up at the station.”

 ֎֎֎

 TK is by the mirrors fussing with his hair when Judd comes up next to him, freshly showered like TK.

“Am I driving you home?” Judd asks, looking through his toiletries for his razor. “Grace texted asking if we feel like take-out, said she had a long day.”

“I have plans with Carlos,” TK says as he works in some mousse into his hair. “He’s picking me up in a few.”

Judd makes a noise, and when TK meets his eyes through the mirror, he sees that the older man is grinning to himself.

TK knows he should ignore it, but he’s always been too curious for his own good, sighing at his lack of control, he asks. “What’s with the grin?”

Judd turns to face him, giving him a shrug, the grin still firmly in place. “Nothing, it’s just nice that your friend is coming to pick you up.”

TK rolls his eyes at the clear mocking in Judd’s voice. “Don’t start man, we are friends,” he says, even though he knows there is so much more to it than that, he’s been thinking about Carlos all afternoon, thinking about getting his hands on him. Still, he also realizes that as much as he thinks about having sex with Carlos, he finds himself thinking just as much about the other moments. When they eat and share, when Carlos goes out of his way to make TK feel comfortable, how he’s willing to sacrifice his night to help TK cheer up a friend, or how he’s ready to talk him through a frankly spectacular orgasm just to help TK sleep, even if he doesn’t get off himself.

He likes having sex with Carlos; there is no denying that they’re perfectly compatible in that area, but he also likes all his other moments with him too. He simply just really likes him.

Judd laughs, breaking through his thoughts. “Yeah, kid,” Judd chuckles, he points a finger at him. “Your face right now says just friends, the way you two were looking at each other earlier, with little to no space between you guys, says just friends too.”

TK’s face grows hot, and he finds himself shifting from foot to foot. “You saw that?”

Judd snorts at the question. “We all saw it, kid,” he tells him, smirking when TK shakes his head. He looks around, his eyes lighting up when he spots Paul coming out of the showers.

“Strickland, you saw TK and Reyes earlier after we pulled out that girl from her car?”

“You mean when they were whispering and eye-banging each other?” Paul questions, not missing a beat even as TK turns redder while Judd lets out a shout of victory.

“Ha!” Judd crows.

Paul raises an eyebrow at them. “What’s the big deal? They always look at each other that way.”

Judd grins, looking back at Paul. “And what way is that, Strickland?”

Paul looks from Judd to TK, an amused smirk on his face. “Officer Reyes looks at TK like sunshine comes out of his ass.”

TK brings his hands to his face, it feels like it’s on fire, but he can’t deny the spark of happiness the comment brings him. Paul never misses anything, that’s his thing, so if he’s saying it, there has to be truth to it. Still, he can’t help but feel embarrassed when Paul continues.

“And TK isn’t much better with the moon eyes he gets when the good officer is around,” he finishes, walking away now that he’s said his peace.

“Thank you, Strickland!” Judd calls out before turning back to TK with an expectant look. “You were saying?”

TK opens his mouth before closing it again.

He ends up shrugging. “Fine, I like him, okay?” he says looking at Judd, he’s lost his amusement, now looking back at TK with zero judgment. “I really like him. I just –“

Judd tilts his head, waiting on him to see if he wants to keep talking or stop. When he first met Judd, he’d written him off as just some redneck, rough around the edges and probably not someone who would become his friend. Now, he’s ashamed of his snap judgment. Judd was blunt and harsh, but he was also kind and patient with every single one of them. He’d seen it with the others, and he’s seen it with his dad, but especially with him. Judd said they were brothers, and he meant it.

“You know about my ex,” he questions, getting a nod in return. “That really messed me up, more than anyone here knows,” he hesitates, looking up at him, hoping it’s enough.

Judd gives him another nod. “In your own time kid, it’s your story to tell.”

TK exhales, swallowing around the lump in his throat. His therapist has told him time and time again that part of healing is being able to talk about what he’s been through with others.

“I got addicted to pills years ago, and OD’d,” TK doesn’t look at Judd as he continues, not ready to see the expression on his face. “I got clean and didn’t use again until the night I proposed to Alex, and he told me he had been cheating on me with his trainer. I OD’d again, my dad and our team saved me,” he looks up at Judd now, finding a look of sympathy on his face.

He lets out a surprised sound when Judd pulls him into a bear hold of a hug.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he says quietly, as TK returns the hug. Being an only child and growing up with just his dad after his parents divorced – wife number two wasn’t around for long – TK finds himself clinging to him and the brotherly affection he’s so freely offering.

“Thanks,” he whispers back before pulling away. They’re both quiet for a moment when Judd asks.

“And Carlos?”

TK sighs. “I like him,” he repeats. “I just don’t want to mess him up with my shit.”

“Does he know?” Judd questions, a small smile appearing on his face when TK nods. “And he’s still sticking around,” he says pointedly. “So maybe he doesn’t see it as you messing him up. Paul wasn’t lying when he says Carlos looks at you like you’re something special, it’s obvious.”

TK can’t help but smile at that.

“Which is weird,” Judd continues, his tone and expression turning to tease. “Cause honestly you’re a pain in the ass,” he grins when TK shoots him a dirty look, the heaviness of their moment alleviating. “No accounting for taste, I guess.”

TK scoffs even as he’s not able to stop a laugh from passing his lips; he opens his mouth to answer back when Mateo sticks his head in the room.

“TK?” he says, spotting him. “Officer Reyes is downstairs looking for you.”

TK feels his pulse tick up. He thanks Mateo before he turns back towards the mirror, making sure he looks good.

“You look fine pretty boy,” Judd assures him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Can I give you some advice?”

TK looks at his friend and nods.

“Forgive yourself for the past,” Judd starts, his expression serious. “Once you do that, you’ll open yourself to the future. Be that Carlos or not, from where I’m standing, yours looks pretty bright.”

 ֎֎֎

 “Fuck,” TK lets out a low groan, his hands grasp Carlos’ slick back as he thrusts into him, his strong body covering TK’s as he clings to him, legs wrapped around Carlos’ waist as he takes him higher and higher, his body tightening like a coil ready to spring.

Carlos lays open mouth kisses against the length of TK’s throat, biting down softly. “You feel amazing,” he says hotly against TK’s skin. “I can’t get enough of you. I always want more.”

TK licks at his dry lips as he tries to answer, but at that moment, Carlos gives a snap of his hips, touching a part inside of TK that sets off sparks through his body, and all TK can do is dig his fingers into Carlos’ back as he frantically meets him thrust for thrust. He lets out a whimper when Carlos sneaks a hand between their overheated bodies to wrap his skilled fingers around his cock.

TK can’t help the pleas that fall off his lips as Carlos times his thrust and strokes perfectly, pulling a shouting orgasm out of TK that leaves him shaky and weak as he continues to come. Distantly in his post-orgasm haze, he realizes that Carlos is close himself. His movements aren’t as smooth as before as he grinds himself against TK’s ass, and he can feel him pulsing inside him.

Leaning up, TK presses his mouth against Carlos’ ear. “You feel so good inside me,” he whispers, smiling when he feels Carlos freeze. “I’m so full, just like you promised,” he continues letting out an almost pained whine as Carlos presses himself even further inside TK’s body. “Come, baby,” he whispers, his eyes fluttering as residual bursts of pleasure pass over him. “Come for me.”

Carlos lets out a low groan, shaking as he does what he asks, and TK can’t help but let out a noise of his own from the feeling of Carlos throbbing inside him.

They stay locked in each other until Carlos completely softens and pulls out. TK makes another soft sound, this one of loss. He knows it’s not practical, but if he could have it his way, he would have Carlos inside him forever. He tries not to overthink what wanting that means.

Carlos rolls off him breathing heavily. “Is it just me, or do we just keep getting better at that?”

TK laughs breathlessly, his body shaking not just from amusement, but from the mind-melting orgasm he just finished having. Carlos looks at him, a giddy smile on his face. He leans over, giving TK a soft kiss.

“I’ll be right back,” he says against TK’s mouth, getting up before he can answer.

TK watches him head for the bathroom, admiring the spectacular view that is Carlos’ backside. He closes his eyes as he hears the water run, he’s cozy and sated, and he thinks he can fall asleep right this instant; he’s that satisfied.

A few minutes pass before the bed dips again, but TK doesn’t bother opening his eyes until he feels a warm wet cloth run over his stomach, cleaning him up. TK looks at Carlos, a lump of emotion forming in his chest as Carlos takes his time, moving pass TK’s stomach, going lower. His touch is gentle and light as he cleans TK’s tired cock, and TK can’t help the soft gasp he lets out when Carlos slips the cloth between his cheeks, wiping softly at his entrance.

The care is so loving and tender, and not something TK is used to, that he has to blink back the stinging sensation he feels behind his eyelids.

When Carlos is done, he looks at TK, his expression gentle as he sees that TK is more than a little emotionally compromised. He leans back down, brushing his lips across his. “How about breakfast for dinner?” he asks, kindly not drawing attention to the fact that a tear has slipped down the side of TK’s face. “Pancakes?”

TK clears his throat, a shaky smile on his face. “Banana pancakes?”

Carlos’ smile grows. “I can be convinced,” he teases, standing back up. Crossing over to his dresser, he pulls out a pair of AP sweats. “Here, put these on and meet me in the kitchen.”

TK takes a moment after Carlos has walked away to take a breath and center himself, no doubt Carlos’ intention. He feels a rush of warmth and gratitude for the man. He seems to know precisely when TK needs to pull back for a breather and gives TK the space he needs without complaint or demands.

He walks out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, smiling as he spots Carlos already working on the pancakes, music plays softly throughout the house. He steps up behind Carlos, kissing the back of his neck gently, smiling into the skin when Carlos tips his head back.

“Anything I can do to help?” he asks, poking at Carlos’ side when he chuckles.

“You’ve confessed that you’ve burned water before,” Carlos reminds him, evading his fingers when he pokes him again.

“That was said in secrecy and not to be used against me at a later date,” he pouts against Carlos’ shoulder, biting down on the meat of it.

Carlos lets out a heavy breath, his body letting out a small shudder. “Keep that up, and I’m dragging you back to bed without food.”

“Oh no, not that,” TK teases, laughing hard when Carlos gives him a small shove.

“Go stand over there and try not to be so attractive,” Carlos points towards the counter with a spoon.

“I mean, I can try,” he says, smirking at the man as he hops on the counter, spreading his legs slowly in a way that makes Carlos shoot him a warning look. “But that’s like telling a fish not to swim or a bird not to fly.”

Carlos looks at him, a reluctant smile starting on his face, and TK feels his cheeks hurt as he grins back. He can’t remember the last time he enjoyed bantering with a partner this much. Alex had never really taken to his jokes or teasing personality.

“You think you’re real cute, don’t you,” Carlos asks, that amused smile still on his face as he shakes his head.

“I think you think I’m cute,” TK shoots back.

Carlos’ expression softens. “I do.”

TK feels his eyes widen in amazement at how easy it is for Carlos to just say things like that to him. He lays his heart bare for TK to see. Carlos just seems to want TK to know he cares about him with little to no concern for himself. Remembering what Paul and Judd said earlier about how Carlos looks at him, he can’t help but ask.

“Do you think sunshine comes out of my ass?” he blurts out, cringing even before the words leave his mouth.

Carlos startles, his eyes wide as he lets out a hesitant chuckle. “What?” he asks as he puts down the spoon, turning his body to look at TK head-on.

TK shifts on the counter, his face turning red from his ridiculous question and the intensity of Carlos’ focus on him. “Something Paul said earlier about the way you look at me,” he answers, feeling dumber by the second. “Forget it. It’s so stupid. I’m stupid.”

TK looks down at the floor, shaking his head at himself, amazed at his ability to put his foot in his mouth. He startles when hands slide up his thighs before resting on his waist. Looking up, he finds Carlos standing between his knees, looking at him with that same tender expression he seems to have for TK alone.

“I don’t know if sunshine comes out of your ass,” Carlos starts, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiles warmly at him, and TK can’t help but smile back, letting out a huff of laughter that makes Carlos’ smile grow before his expression turns serious.

“But I do know that being around you is like being out in the sun,” he continues, his hand coming up to cup the back of TK’s neck. “Everything is brighter and warmer when I’m with you.”

TK looks at Carlos, eyes moving over his features, the warmth of his brown eyes, the softness of his smile, the character of his eyebrows, and he finds himself nodding slowly.

“I feel the same way when I’m with you,” he whispers like it’s a secret. In a way it is, this thing between them is so new and precious to him already, it feels like saying it louder will disturb it. “I see colors with you,” he gets out, his heart thundering under his ribcage at the blinding smile his words get in return.

 ֎֎֎

 Judd comes into the weight room, stepping in as his spotter as TK lifts. “You didn’t come home last night.”

“I stayed at Carlos’ apartment,” he gets out as he pushes through the last of his set. He sits up after a moment, thanking Judd when he hands him a towel to dry his face. “He took me home this morning to change and then dropped me off here.”

Judd smiles at him pleased, and TK can’t help but roll his eyes as the Texan radiates smugness. “What?”

Judd continues to grin as he gives him a shrug. “You just called my place home is all.”

TK looks at Judd a moment longer, rolling his eyes again but softer. “You know you come off as this grumpy jackass, but in reality, you’re just a lovable teddy bear.”

Judd narrows his eyes at him, but it doesn’t hide his amusement from TK one bit. “You better not tell anyone.”

“The secret is out big guy,” he says, laughing hard when Judd gives him an unamused look. “We all know.”

“You know, I was going to help you out with something,” Judd answers, all cryptic and annoying. “But now I’m just going to sit back and watch.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” TK questions just as his phone bings with an incoming message. He smiles for a moment when he sees that it’s from Carlos only to lose the smile when he reads the message.

‘Grace called me? Not sure how she got my number, but she asked me if I wanted to have dinner with you guys tonight. I told her I couldn’t agree without running it by you first.’

TK looks up from his phone to find Judd smirking at him knowingly. He glares at the older man, sighing when it does nothing but amuse him some more. “It wouldn’t surprise you to know Grace invited Carlos to dinner at the house tonight, would it?”

Judd’s answer is a wide grin that makes TK shake his head. “How did she even get his number?”

Judd snorts. “She works answering calls all day. Do you really think it’s hard for her to get a phone number?”

TK rolls his eyes at the answer, he waits to feel annoyed by the turn of events, but he can’t deny that he likes the idea of dinner with his friends and Carlos. It feels serious to start bringing him around to the people in his life, but there is something about it that makes him excited, while also fearing that it’s putting Carlos on the spot. He swipes his phone open and types out a quick message.

‘I can get you out of it if you don’t want to have dinner with them. Sorry, she shouldn’t have ambushed you like that, but I think she thought I wouldn’t tell you if she asked me first.’

TK presses send. He doesn’t have to wait long for Carlos’ answering text.

‘I didn’t feel ambushed, I like Grace, and I did promise her a raincheck. It just depends on if you want me there.’

TK licks his lips, his pulse ticking upward as he sends another text. ‘What do you want?’

‘Nope. What do YOU want?’

TK feels a reluctant smile on his face; he can hear Carlos’ patient but gentle teasing through his text. He takes a calming breath before typing honestly.

‘I want you to come to dinner.’

He waits a moment, smiling when he sees Carlos’ answering text.

‘I texted Grace. I’ll see you guys at 8.’

He looks up from his phone at Judd, and he can’t help the smile on his face. “Carlos is coming to dinner.”

 ֎֎֎

 TK walks into the Ryder house, showered and dressed, making a beeline for the kitchen that smells delicious. He finds Grace chopping a carrot as he goes around the counter to her side.

He leans in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “You’re a meddler,” he teases as he pops a piece of carrot into his mouth.

“Goal-oriented,” Grace corrects him with a raised eyebrow daring him to say otherwise.

TK raises a brow back at her. “And that goal would be?”

Grace lifts a shoulder as she keeps chopping, smirking as Judd walks into the kitchen. “Dinner with three gorgeous men, of course.”

TK chuckles, watching as Judd’s face goes from pleased to irritated for being called gorgeous but being lumped with him and Carlos.

Turning to TK, he gives him a hard stare. “Stop flirting with my wife, Strand.”

“I’m just over here appreciating beautiful things,” TK raises his hands while Grace grins, looking down at what she’s working on. “And Grace is one of the prettiest things I’ve ever seen.”

Judd opens his mouth, closing it after a moment, saying nothing.

He looks over at Grace sharing a conspiring grin with her. “It’s funny how he wants to tell me off, but he can’t because he knows it’s the truth.”

Judd lets out a huff as he comes around the counter to stand next to Grace, looking over her head to look at him. “I know she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, kid.”

Judd smiles down at his wife, and TK gets the distinct impression that he’s not really in the room anymore as they look at each other lovingly.

“I knew she was the prettiest girl in the world when I saw her across the football field and saw her in rival colors cheering at the top of her lungs as her team hammered mine. I fell ass over tits in love right there.”

Grace smiles amused; she looks at him with a twinkle in her eyes. “Lost the game and then crossed the field to ask me out as the team and my squad stared at this bold redneck.”

TK laughs, charmed by the story and the couple, there is something beautiful about watching them be together, even as it makes something inside him ache. He wants what they have, that level of comfort and affection. He sees the happy smiles on their faces, and he wants that excitement of knowing you’re with who you’re supposed to be.

There’s a knock at the door that pulls him from his thoughts, his heart ticking upward from who it is, and he knows there’s a broad smile on his face by the amused look Grace and Judd give him.

“Go,” Judd jerks his head towards the door. “Don’t keep lover boy waiting.”

TK rolls his eyes out of habit, already heading for the door. He opens it, his breath catching as he takes Carlos in, he’s dressed like the dinner date that wasn’t. Slacks and a dress shirt that fits him like a glove. The two top buttons are opened, and TK wants to rip the rest off just like the last time.

He looks back up at Carlos’ face after checking him out, finding the man grinning at him pleased, aware of what he’s doing to TK no doubt.

“You look good,” he blurts out, earning another smile.

“Thanks,” Carlos answers before stepping closer to TK, brushing his front against his. He’s so close, TK is forced to look up to keep eye contact. “You look good too.”

TK opens his mouth to make a joke but is stopped by Carlos covering his mouth with his. He grabs hold of Carlos’ arms, leaning heavily against him as he gets lost in their kiss. The swipe of Carlos’ tongue against his makes him whimper as he clings to him.

“I know you two fools aren’t making out in my doorway while making us wait for you.”

TK reluctantly pulls his mouth off Carlos’. He turns to find Judd staring at them with a judging look, his eye narrowing when he looks down at Carlos’ hand.

“Those flowers better be for princess here,” he warns Carlos, making TK notice for the first time that Carlos is holding a small bouquet of sunflowers.

He looks back up at him and finds Carlos grinning, causing TK to grin too, his smile turning into a chuckle when Carlos answers that they’re for Grace, and  Judd gives him a sour look.

“Great, another asshole trying to steal my wife,” Judd grumbles as he turns away from them.

TK giggles. “Nice touch,” he says, nodding towards the flowers.

Carlos shrugs. “They’re your friends,” he says like it explains everything. “I want them to like me.”

TK stops.

Carlos’ words and reason sinks in, Judd is like a brother to him, and even though he’s only been living with them a short while, he already adores Grace more than words can say. She’s like the loving big sister he never had.

His crew is important to him. Carlos understanding and wanting to be part of that, warms something inside him.

He takes Carlos’ hand in his, linking their fingers as a silent thank you, the smile Carlos gives him back, feels like you’re welcome.

 ֎֎֎

 “Who do you keep texting?”

TK lifts his eyes from his phone to look across the room at his father. He takes in his half-amused smile and bright eyes. He’s half-way into the day’s chemo round and luckily not looking worse for wear.

“Weren’t you sleeping?” he questions instead of answering, he ignores his phone as it buzzes again.

“I was just resting,” Owen corrects him, he points at TK’s phone with his chin. “Then I opened my eyes and have been watching you for the last fifteen minutes, grinning down at your phone as you text.”

TK can’t help but blush, feeling caught by his father. “Do you want anything to drink? Water? Maybe some ginger ale?” he asks as he stands up to look through the bag he’s taken to bringing with him when his dad has a treatment. He feels himself go hotter when Owen lets out a humorous chuckle.

“Damn, it’s that serious, huh?” Owen teases, his eyes playful as TK huffs and shoots him a look. “The last time you were this evasive, was when you had a crush on that boy in your English class senior year. What was his name? Matt?”

TK rolls his eyes as he sits back down, knowing it’s pointless to ignore his father, he’ll just keep going. “His name was Marcus,” TK answers. “And this is nothing like that.”

Owen’s eyes light up, just as TK realizes he’s made a tactical error by admitting anything.

“So, you’re not staring at your phone like a schoolboy with a crush as you talk to…” Owen trails off, the look on his face daring as he waits to see if TK caves.

“Carlos,” TK admits reluctantly, and if he thought Owen looked pleased before, it’s nothing like the grin he gives TK now.

“Carlos?” he starts, the name said with a pleased tone, the corners of his mouth twitching. “As in Officer Reyes? That Carlos?”

“Have you seen me hanging around any other Carlos?” TK grumbles, feeling distinctly juvenile but unable to stop. “Yes, dad, that Carlos.”

Owen raises his hands in defense. It would mean something if he wasn’t smirking at TK. They both go quiet for a moment when TK’s phone buzzes again.

TK stares at his dad for a moment before giving in to the urge to look down at his phone.

‘Want to hang out after my shift tonight? I miss your face.’

TK huffs softly, staring at the message, unable to help the way the simple text warms him from the inside out.

“There’s that smile again, TK.”

TK finds his dad’s eyes on him, a gentle look on his face, he opens his mouth, pauses, and closes it again.

His first instinct is to deny, but he doesn’t even know what he’s trying to deny anymore. He thinks of the conversations he’s had the last couple of weeks, with Grace, with Judd, Paul’s comments, and finally his moments with Carlos.

How easy it is for Carlos to let TK know he cares about him, never expecting anything in return for his affections. He thinks about how good he feels around Carlos, the bright colors all around him when he’s with him. The smile on his face he can’t hide when he’s with the other man, talking to him, or even just thinking about him. He can’t deny it, and he doesn’t want to anymore, somewhere while he was busy trying to keep this thing between them casual and unimportant, it became utterly vital to his existence.

He’s always been an open book to his father, so he’s not surprised when his father makes a stunned sound, his eyes shining with happiness.

“Oh kiddo,” Owen gives him a tender smile, his eyes a little wet. TK feels his own eyes sting, but he smiles widely as he comes to grips with his realization and the strength of his emotions; they’re overwhelming but incredible.

‘I’m in love with Carlos.’

TK gets up and takes Owen’s hand, giving it a squeeze when his father reaches out for him. “I’m happy for you son.”

“Yeah,” he manages to get out, still in shock by what he’s feeling. “I’m happy too.”

 ֎֎֎

They’ve been called on their third emergency of the day, a fire at a two-story frat house at the local college. They manage to put out the fire, the last licks of it on the far west corner of the house being handled by his dad and Mateo as the rest of them start to make their way through the floors making sure no one is trapped. Paul and Marjan make their way up the stairs while he and Judd search the ground floor.

“Austin Fire and Rescue!” Judd calls out. “Make a noise!”

They push through a door, finding it full of smoke and ruined walls but no victims and move on to the next.

Each room they check is empty to their relief.

“We might get lucky with this one, and no one got hurt,” he comments, as they step softly. The house seems to be fine, but you can never be too sure when it comes to structural damage of a place after a fire.

“Yeah,” Judd agrees, assessing the place. “Looks like everyone got out.”

TK nods, biting down on his lip. He’s been wanting to talk to Judd since the moment of clarity he had with his dad, but he hasn’t found the time. The night before he’d spent it with Carlos, enjoying his company now with the knowledge that he loves him. He’s sure it showed on his face the whole time as they enjoyed their date before making out in Carlos’ car outside the Ryder’s home. Carlos’ soft smiles and even softer kisses made TK feel like the most precious thing in the world, and he had to press his lips harder against Carlos’ to keep from blurting out everything he’s been feeling.

“Can I ask you a completely inappropriate question for what we are currently doing?” TK asks, unable to hold back. They have one more room to check before they’re done with their sweep.

Judd shoots him a wary look over his shoulder, sighing as he goes. “Okay.”

TK sucks his lip into his mouth, trying to figure out how to phrase his question. Finally, he just says what first comes to mind. “When you realized you loved Grace, did you tell her right away?”

Judd comes to a stop, turning to look at him with an incredulous look. “Really, TK, now?”

“Hey, I said it wasn’t time appropriate,” TK defends himself. “I warned you, I wanted to wait, but I’ve been holding it all day, so I’m asking.”

Judd gives him an eye roll, but TK sees the amused upward quirk of his lips. “Finally stopped bullshitting yourself about Reyes, huh?”

“Don’t gloat,” TK whines. “Help me, like a good brother would.”

Judd’s expression softens, even as he gets the last door opened. “You know Grace is too good for me right?”

TK smirks at him, that’s an understatement.  Judd is a great guy, but Grace is perfect, better than all of them combined. “I’ve noticed.”

Judd glares at him as they move into the room, checking the other doors. “I’m trying to help you, brat, so watch it.”

TK makes a ‘shutting up’ motion to appease him. It doesn’t fool either of them, and Judd gives him another look before softening again.

“My point is, Grace is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So you best believe the second my dumb ass realized I  was in love, I told her. I didn’t wait for a second, because every second not telling her that she’s my whole world is a second wasted,” Judd tells him with a serious look.

They finish the sweep and head back for the hallway.

“So if you are finally ready to admit that you and Carlos aren’t just friends, or casual, or messing around, or whatever other bullshit terms you’ve been using in that head of yours to deny your feelings. Tell him. Tell him and don’t waste a second. We aren’t guaranteed the next one, TK.”

Later, when TK  has time, he will think Judd’s words are prophetic. Right now though, when one second Judd is walking a few feet ahead of him, and the next he’s crumbling to the ground as a large part of the floor above them drops on him, TK doesn’t have time to think.

“Judd!” he screams, coughing as dust and plaster fills the already smoky air.

He rushes to the man’s side, eyeballing the hole above them, making sure nothing else is coming down. He pushes the broken pieces of debris off his friend, finding that he’s out cold with a large gash on his head. “Judd, wake up,” he demands, his pulse spiking with fear when the older man doesn’t move. He gets two fingers under Judd’s coat, pressing them to his neck. He lets out a relieved exhale when he finds a pulse.

He grabs his radio, speaking into it. “Firefighter down. I repeat, firefighter down on the ground floor left corner of the house.”

It takes but a second for his dad’s voice to come through, demanding but calm. “TK? Report.”

“It’s Judd, dad,” TK swallows hard as he sees more blood running from Judd’s wound, fear gripping him again. “Hurry.”

֎֎֎

 There’s a low buzz around him as he stares out the window while he and the rest of the crew wait in the hospital to find out about Judd. No one has tried to approach him since his dad hugged him in support before going to sit with Captain Blake.

He doesn’t turn to face his crew, his emotions are too at the surface right now, and he doesn’t know if he’ll snap in anger or burst into tears if he has to deal with their concerned looks. Judd is the one in the hospital bed, not him, but since the rest of the crew helped him get the older firefighter out of the house, unconscious and unresponsive, they’ve been giving him looks like he’s the one hurt.

The noise behind him picks up, and he vaguely realizes that there are more people in the waiting room with them now, he doesn’t acknowledge them either. He tenses when he feels someone step up behind him, and he finds himself curling his fist. A hand touches him between his shoulder blades, and he spins on his heel, ready to rip whoever is trying to comfort him a new one.

He’s not the one hurt. That’s Judd and Grace, who’s inside with her injured husband, and who had an absolutely heartbreaking look of fear on her face before she ducked into the room with the doctors.

He opens his mouth to shout when he finds those kind brown eyes he loves looking at him with concern.

He doesn’t shout; instead, what comes out is a wounded noise that he would be embarrassed if it were anyone else hearing it. Carlos pulls him into his arms before the sound has completely died out, and TK finds himself clinging to his strong frame as he shakes.

Carlos makes shushing sounds as he cradles the back of his head, rubbing his back, and TK realizes with a burning shame that he’s started to cry without meaning to.

“Shhh, Tyler, sweetheart,” Carlos whispers into his ear, his hold on him unbreakable. “I need you to take a breath for me.”

TK shakes his head because he can’t. Judd is hurt, and if TK hadn’t been distracting him with stupid questions, maybe he wouldn’t be right now.

“My fault,” he gets out, the words choking him.

Carlos pulls back, shaking his head. “It was an accident,” he says sternly because he doesn’t understand. TK loves him, but he doesn’t get it right now. “Accidents happen in our line of work unfortunately.”

TK wants to argue – he opens his mouth to do so, he’s to blame, and Carlos needs to know – when Grace rounds the corner, coming into the waiting room. Everyone who is sitting stands up, taking a step towards her.

“He’s okay,” she says with a trembling smile. “Sitting up and making a fuss about going home.”

Everyone lets out a breath, some even laughing. TK feels his knees go weak with relief. He’s not sure he would be upright without Carlos’ hold on him.

“Can we see him?” Mateo asks eagerly, and Grace smiles.

“Yes,” she says, holding up a hand when everyone starts to move. “But he wants to see TK first.”

All eyes turn to him, making him take a step back into Carlos.

“I –” he stalls.

Grace crosses the room until she’s in front of him. “He said he wants to see his kid brother first, TK.”

TK swallows, his eyes flooding with tears as Grace looks at him earnestly.

“I should have watched out for him better,” he whispers to her, though the room is quiet enough he knows the other’s hear. “It’s my fault.”

Grace raises an eyebrow at him. “I guess now I understand why he said ‘I want to see my dumb kid brother’ when he asked for you.”

TK startles at the insult but doesn’t have time to get offended as Grace pulls him into a hug.

“It’s not your fault,” Grace says as she holds him, and TK finds himself holding her tight right back. “You had his back and got him out.”

“Always,” TK promises her.

Grace pulls out of the hug smiling at him as she cups his cheek. “I know. Now go see him before he scares the nurses with his scowls.”

TK musters up a wane smile for her before turning back to look at Carlos, not surprised when he sees the supportive look on his face. Carlos tugs him back to his side for a moment, pressing a kiss at his temple before giving him an encouraging nudge forward. Grace takes his place next to Carlos, and TK has to smile at the way he immediately pulls her into his arms.

She looks back at him with a smile on her face. “Make him eat his jello.”

 ֎֎֎

 TK pauses at the door of the hospital room. Judd is sitting up, but his eyes are closed. He has a bandage over his left eyebrow, and except for some scrapes on his face, he looks fine.

“Are you going to hover there like some timid mouse, or are you going to come in?” he calls out, cracking one eye open to look at him. “You know we only have at maximum ten minutes before the rest of the crew barges in here right?”

TK cracks a smile, making his way into the room. “That’s being generous, six minutes, max.”

Judd lets out a snort; he nods towards the chair next to his bed for TK to take.

TK sits down, and he fidgets as the silence in the room feels heavy. Finally, he looks up, meeting Judd’s gaze. “I’m sorry, man,” he starts quietly. “I should have been paying attention. I should not have been distracting us with dumb questions that could have waited. I’m so sorry, Judd.”

Judd looks at him for a moment before letting out a sigh. “I hate always being right.”

TK frowns at him, confused by the comment.

“I told Grace to get you in here because I knew your dumb ass would be blaming yourself for this,” Judd explains, holding up his hand when TK opens his mouth to argue. “This was an accident, kid. Shit happens in our line of work; you know that.”

TK licks his lips nervously. “Carlos said the same thing.”

Judd smirks at the mention of the cop. “Obviously, he’s the brains of your relationship. You, pretty boy, can be the looks.”

TK scowls at his friend, holding up one finger. “One, hey. Two, Carlos is beautiful so again, hey, and three, obviously Grace is the beauty and the brains in your relationship, so what do you bring to the table?”

Judd stares at him with narrowed eyes. “You’re a fucking brat.”

TK grins a wide smile, the tension inside finally easing up as he falls into the easy banter he and Judd have. “You want to play know-it-all, big brother, then I’ll play my part, as the annoying little brother. Your wife said for you to eat your jello,” he points at the tray on the other side of the bed.

 ֎֎֎

 They all stay with Judd until the night nurse comes to kick them out. One by one, they say their good-byes until it’s just TK and Judd in the room. Grace, who is staying the night, though Judd wants her to go home, steps out with Carlos.

“She should go home, she’s just going to be uncomfortable here,” Judd sighs tiredly.

TK raises an eyebrow at him. “If Grace was in that bed,” he points. “Would you go home?”

Judd stays quiet for a moment, probably annoyed that he’s using logic on him.

“I’ll tell you what,” he says quickly to appease him. “We’ll come back early with breakfast for both of you and see if we can annoy some doctors into springing you out of here early. Okay?”

“We, huh?” Judd smirks at him. “Which ‘we’ are you talking about, kid? You and the Cap? The crew? Or you and your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” TK says quickly, swallowing nervously as his body reacts to how badly he wants to be able to call Carlos that.

Judd gives him a superior look, that if he didn’t already have a head injury, TK is pretty sure he would smack him. “Well, then you better have that conversation with him and change that, don’t you think?”

“You’re in a hospital bed, and you’re still trying to give me romantic advice?” TK asks, rolling his eyes, though he can’t help but smile.

Judd gives him a bored shrug. “Stop being so slow and do as I say, and I won’t have to.”

TK rolls his eyes again. “I’m leaving now. I don’t have to take this abuse.”

Judd nods at him. “Good, talking to you gives me a headache anyway,” he says with a grin.

TK shakes his head with a reluctant laugh. He crosses the room and leans down to hug him. He gets a few thumps on the back in return. “I’m glad you’re okay, brother,” he says quietly as he pulls back.

“Thanks to you, kid,” Judd answers, nodding towards the door. “Go, let your boy take you home to get some rest.”

TK says good-bye one more time before he exits. He finds the hallway empty except for Grace and Carlos, who are talking quietly to each other, they turn towards him as his sneakers squeak. Grace goes on her toes to hug Carlos. TK watches as she whispers something into his ear that makes Carlos’ eyes snap to him. He swallows a sound at the turmoil he finds reflecting in them as he looks at him. He hadn’t noticed it before.

Grace pulls out of their hug and crosses over to him. He leans down when she cups his cheek and presses a kiss on the other. “Take care of him,” she says quietly, giving him a soft smile when he nods, his eyes still on Carlos as he fidgets under his gaze.

“I will.”

 ֎֎֎

 The ride home is quiet and tense in a way he hasn’t felt around Carlos since the night he ended up in handcuffs for fighting. He watches from the corner of his eye the hard grip Carlos has on the wheel of his precious Camaro, and all TK wants to do is reach over and take his hand until it loses its stiffness.

Carlos pulls into the driveway and turns off the engine plunging them into more silence without even the radio to fill in the quiet. TK looks over at him, biting down on his lip, not sure what to say. Luckily Carlos helps him out, he turns his head to face him, and TK takes in how worn out he looks.

“Can I – ” Carlos clears his throat, closing his eyes for a moment before looking at TK with such a look that it would knock him over if he were standing. “Can I stay here with you?”

TK bites down on his lip harder to keep the tremble from being visible, relief washes through him at Carlos’ request. He nods and keeps nodding, getting a small half-smile from Carlos in return.

“Thanks.”

They get out of the car, making their way up to his apartment above the garage. Flipping on the lights, TK stays by the top of the stairs as Carlos looks around. He hasn’t been up here since he helped TK move in. Their overnights always happen at Carlos’ apartment.

“It’s nice,” Carlos says, looking around once more before his eyes settle on him.

TK doesn’t say anything; instead, he studies him, his beautiful Carlos, who wears his heart on his sleeve and every emotion on his face. TK reads fear on it now. He knows the expression well, having seen it on his own face plenty of times. He grew up with a father who runs into crumbling towers.

“I’m okay,” he says quietly, knowing he’s hit the nail on the head when Carlos’ eyes widen, and his hand at his side shakes.

“TK –”

“I’m okay,” he repeats, his heart clenching when Carlos makes a noise that sounds close to a sob. “I’m right here.”

“But you almost weren’t!” Carlos shouts, his arms going tight around his waist as he tries to hold himself. “You could have gotten hurt just like Judd, or worse, it could have been you under that caving ceiling. It could have been you in the hospital, and I’m an asshole because I’m just so relieved it wasn’t you. Judd is your friend, your family, and he’s my friend too, and I’m glad he’s in the hospital because at least it’s not you!”

TK’s chest aches as he sees tears in Carlos’ eyes, the frustration and fear even more evident.

“I’m sorry,” Carlos continues, not realizing how his words leave TK feeling breathless. “I’m sorry for thinking that, I’m sorry for laying this at your feet right now especially after the day you’ve had. I should be comforting you, and instead, I’m just spilling my feelings all over you.”

“I didn’t mean to – ” Carlos cuts himself off, his expression pained, and TK knows what he won’t finish, his heart pounding hard under his ribcage at Carlos’ unspoken confession. “I know it’s not what you want,” he ends unhappily.

‘I didn’t mean to fall in love with you.’

TK hears it like a shout even as it’s silent, he takes a breath before letting himself finally say out loud what has been crawling at his throat to get out.

“I love you,” he says, feeling the last broken piece inside his heart mend with the confession. Carlos’ eyes go wide, and his hands fall to his sides.

“What – ” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

TK nods, his eyes are starting to sting, but he’s not sure from which emotion, they’re all a chaotic mess inside him right now.

“I love you,” he repeats. “When Judd got hurt, I was asking him if he told Grace the moment he realized he loved her. That’s what I was distracting him with when the ceiling fell. He told me that a moment not telling the person you love that you love them is a moment wasted. I don’t want to waste a single moment with you, not one second. I love you, Carlos.”

TK watches Carlos move, but he still finds himself gasping when Carlos crushes his mouth to his, his hands holding on to TK’s face, hard and desperate just like the kiss.

“I love you,” Carlos says between their frantic mouths, hands trying to hold on to any part they can. “I love you so fucking much.”

TK half-laughs, half-sobs into the kiss, feeling lighter than he has in years.

Carlos pulls back to look at him, his eyes shining with unshed tears, but there is a smile on his face that takes TK’s breath away. “Tell me again,” he asks softly, the amazement evident on his face, and TK makes himself a promise in that moment to never go a day without telling Carlos how much he loves him. He’ll never again let him doubt his feelings.

“I love you.”

 ֎֎֎

 TK sits on the edge of the bed, knee bouncing while he waits for Carlos to finish up in the bathroom. He tries to get himself to calm down. He and Carlos have been doing this for months; if there’s one part of their relationship they’ve got down, it’s the sleeping together part. This time isn’t any different. 

The thought isn’t even over, and he’s scoffing at himself. Everything is different now, better, and that’s a good thing, even if there’s a part of him that is terrified he’s going to mess it up. 

“Your face right now.”

TK looks up, his breath catching. He’s known Carlos is a good-looking guy since the first time he saw him. Even with the emergency, the baby in the tree, and him feeling pride over his dad, he still noticed Carlos. And then later at the bar, out of his rain gear, in sinfully tight clothes that showed off his beautiful body. TK remembers having a moment of damn and want when Carlos asked him to dance. That feeling has only grown with every moment he’s been privileged to have with him. 

Looking at him now, dressed down to just his boxers, all that beautiful skin on display, TK has that moment again mixed in with ‘I love him, and he loves me.’ 

It leaves him staring, his heart thumping hard under his skin. 

He must be easy to read because Carlos gives him a smile that is equal parts loving and filthy as he walks towards him. He looks up as Carlos towers over him, his eyes fluttering shut when he leans down, cupping his face as he gives him a soft kiss.

He sighs into it as Carlos’ tongue licks it’s way inside, his body lighting up when Carlos responds to the sound by tightening his hold on him, turning the kiss from a gentle touch to something dirtier as he sucks on TK’s tongue. 

Carlos breaks the kiss slowly, his eyes dark and promising, the corner of his lips quirk upward before he sinks to his knees between TK’s legs. Hands on his knees, he slides them up his thighs, tapping TK’s hips for him to lift them. TK leans on his hands and does as Carlos asks, swallowing hard when Carlos pulls down his boxers. He feels himself grow hot as his hard and leaking cock slaps against his stomach.

Carlos smiles at him one more time before he ducks his head down. He presses his face where TK’s thigh and groin meet as he breathes TK in. “I love the way you smell,” Carlos says against his skin, his hot breath making TK shiver. “I love even more how you taste,” he continues right as he gives the meat of TK’s thigh a soft suck that makes TK moan helplessly.

He watches through slit-open eyes, his body tight like a coil as Carlos takes his time, kissing and sucking, biting gently only to smooth the sting out with his tongue. He touches everywhere but where TK wants him the most. He’s harder than he’s ever been in his life, his cock red with beads of pre-come sliding down his length, making a mess as Carlos teases him by getting close but never taking him in his mouth.

“Carlos, please,” he begs when he can’t take it anymore. Carlos looks up at him from where he’s been licking the crease of TK’s groin.

“Yeah, baby?” Carlos asks easily, and it would come off as uninterested if it weren’t for the fact that there is a rosy color high on his cheeks, and his brown eyes are all but black. “You need something?”

TK whines quietly. “Don’t tease.”

Carlos smirks up at him; his lips are cherry-red from the mess he’s been making out of TK’s inner thighs. “Use your words, Tyler.”

TK narrows his eyes at him, lust pumping through him at the game Carlos is playing. He surges forward pulling Carlos into a filthy kiss, he bites at his bottom lip, feeling smug when Carlos groans. Licking his way into his mouth, he mimics everything he wants from Carlos before breaking the kiss. “I want you to suck me,” he says against his lips. He pulls back, leaning back on his hands once more as he tilts his hips towards Carlos. “There, I used my words.”

Carlos grins half-amused, and TK returns the gesture, feeling smug. It only lasts a moment as Carlos leans forward, and with his tongue flat against the underside of TK’s cock, licks up slowly.

“Fuck!” he shouts, falling back on the bed, and he hears Carlos chuckle right before he closes his mouth around the head of his cock as he begins to suck. TK curses again. He grabs on his own hair pulling on it for something to do with his hands as Carlos circles one hand around his base and starts to bob up and down, hollowing his cheeks as he sucks TK in deep.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” TK chants, the tight wet heat of Carlos’ mouth is the most perfect torture TK has ever experienced. It continues for a few minutes as Carlos licks at him, sucks him like it’s what he was made to do.  TK feels his body start to tighten. The edges of an orgasm beginning to get sharp just as Carlos pulls his mouth off him.

“What?” TK asks, downright pouting when Carlos stands up instead of finishing. Carlos gives him a soft lingering kiss, letting TK taste himself on his tongue.

“I want you to fuck me,” Carlos whispers against his lips, the words wreaking havoc to TK’s system. It’s not that they don’t do that, they’re both versatile guys, but it still catches TK by surprise. “Up on the bed baby, lay back.”

TK moans softly, his cock giving a jerk as he starts to get the picture of where this is going. He pushes himself up on the bed, lying down in the middle. He watches as Carlos pulls open his side table, taking out a condom he throws next to TK before he opens a small bottle of lube. TK licks at his dry lips as he watches Carlos coat his own fingers.

Carlos climbs on to the bed, throwing a leg over TK as he straddles him. He flashes him a dirty little grin right before he slips his lube-covered hand behind himself.

“Fuck me,” TK breathes, his mouth open in awe as Carlos’ eyes flutter to a close as he starts to open himself up for TK.

Carlos grins as he starts to move against his fingers, taking them in deeper. “That’s –” he trails off, letting out a low moan as he touches himself, opening his eyes to look down at him. “What you are going to do to me,” he jokes, letting out a breathless laugh when TK groans.

TK looks at Carlos to find that smug grin on his face again. With narrowed eyes, he sits up, careful not to jolt Carlos as he reaches for the discarded bottle of lube.

“What are you doing?” he questions, his breath catching as TK trails his wet fingers over his hip and down the slope of his ass. He slips between his cheeks as he joins Carlos’ fingers.

He smirks at him, his tongue touching the corner of his mouth as his fingers press against the rim of Carlos’ opening before he slips one digit in next to Carlos’ two. “I’m helping.”

“Dios mio,” Carlos chokes out, his body arching when TK finds and presses the small bundle of nerves he’s seeking out.

TK watches in awe as Carlos twists and bends as he rides their fingers, he doesn’t think he’s seen anything more beautiful.

“You look amazing like this,” he whispers, leaning in to lick at Carlos’ collarbone. “You’re perfect.”

Carlos moans softly, pulling his hand out, he grabs hold of TK’s shoulders, he pushes his ass against TK’s fingers for a moment before he uses his grip on TK to shove him back on the bed.

TK lays there watching Carlos with wide eyes as the man grabs the condom next to them, rolling it on to TK’s hard cock. He gives TK a couple of pumps of his hand that leaves TK panting before he slides up, and with one hand on TK’s cock presses it to his opening before sliding down slowly and smoothly.

The tight heat of Carlos’ body around him leaves TK gasping, his head thrown back as Carlos sets his pace with controlled lifts of his body before he presses down again, taking TK as deep as he can, grinding himself to the hilt.

“You feel so good inside me,” Carlos moans. His body is all flushed and hot as he rises and falls. TK watches mesmerized by the sight Carlos makes as he uses him for his pleasure. “I’m so full.”

TK groans at the words and the feel of being inside Carlos, he all but sobs as he clenches around him. His hands go to Carlos hips as he plants his feet on the bed for leverage, snapping his hips upward, pulling a choked moan out of Carlos when he does it again, meeting him for each thrust.

“Yes, baby, keep going,” Carlos groans falling forward. He kisses TK, all tongue and teeth as they wrapped their arms around each other. Their moves take a frantic turn, as Carlos rubs himself against TK’s body, his cock between them leaving a wet trail on TK’s stomach. “I’m going to come,” he pants, his face tucked into TK’s shoulder. “Don’t stop, baby, please.”

TK holds onto Carlos’ ass, spreading his cheeks as he pushes his cock into Carlos harder and faster, his orgasm is fast approaching, he can feel it build, and his body tightens with the need to release, but Carlos is shaking in his arms, and the noises he’s making are the hottest TK’s ever heard. He’s going to make him come first if it’s the last thing he does.

He lifts his head to kiss the side of Carlos’ face. “Come for me, sweetheart,” he whispers against Carlos’ ear, getting a soft whine in return. “I want to feel that tight squeeze around me as you come.”

Carlos shudders once, his body locking before he lets a long drawn out moan, and comes between them. Just like he wanted, TK feels the squeeze of Carlos’ body as he spasms around his dick. Snapping his hips upward three more times, TK follows him, spots appearing behind his eyelids as he comes.

They lay there intertwined, catching their breath, Carlos’ body is heavy on him but comforting. Once he’s softened, he slips out of Carlos’ body and runs his hands up and down Carlos’ sweaty back to soothe him as his body lets out a few last tremors. Carlos is pliable like this, and with his arms still around him, it’s easy for TK to roll them over.

He gets up on shaky legs, telling Carlos he’ll be right back when he makes a questioning sound. Getting rid of the used condom and cleaning himself up, he comes back with a wet cloth. He gently cleans up a sleepy Carlos the way he did for TK a few days ago.

“Mmm,” Carlos mumbles, there is a soft smile on his face as he looks up at him through half-opened eyes. “Thank you.”

TK smiles back at him, leaning down to give him a gentle kiss. He lets out a shout, laughing when Carlos uses the moment to pull him into bed. He giggles helplessly as Carlos moves him where he wants, and TK finds himself with an arm full of a beautiful, incredible, hopelessly in love with; Carlos Reyes.

“Cuddle time?” he teases as his fingers find their way to Carlos’ hair, his fingertips softly scratching at his scalp. He turns his head, grinning as he presses a kiss on Carlos forehead when he all but purrs under his touch.

“Mmhmm.”

TK chuckles softly, pulling Carlos closer, and he’s starting to fall asleep when he hears him.

“Tell me again?” Carlos asks softly. TK can hear the smile in his voice, finding it on Carlos’ face when he tips his chin up to look into his eyes.

There is so much love in Carlos’ gaze, the way his expression softens tells TK, Carlos is seeing the same love reflected back at him.

Touching the corner of Carlos mouth, he leans down to press his forehead against his. “I love you, Carlos.”

 ֎֎֎

 Two Weeks Later

 “You’re doing it wrong.”

“I know how to use my own grill, Strickland.”

TK leans against his boyfriend, grinning as he watches Judd and Paul argue over how best to cook the chicken on the grill in the backyard of the Ryder’s house. He hides his face in Carlos’ shoulder when his snicker makes both men look over at him with a glare.

“Something to add, Strand?” Paul questions him with a raised eyebrow.

TK shakes his head, still grinning as he rests his head on Carlos, his arms relaxed around the cop’s waist. “Nope, just enjoying the show,” he shoots back, his smile growing when he feels Carlos shake with silent laughter.

Judd narrows his eyes at them. “Pretty boy is all smug over there because he’s in love,” he smirks at him as he continues. “Like he wasn’t the last to realize the truth while the rest of us knew from the beginning that he was ass over tits for Reyes.”

TK feels himself blush as Carlos’ silent laughter turns into a loud snort. He looks up at Carlos with a glare. “Who’s side are you on?” he pouts at him.

Carlos smiles softly at him, closing the small space between them to give him a soft press of his lips. “Yours, of course,” he whispers, his hand tilts TK’s chin to give him another peck. “Always.”

TK sighs into the kiss; he lifts his hand to touch Carlos’ neck. Their lips part, but TK doesn’t break away. Instead, he holds Carlos close, smiling as he rubs his nose against his.

“Gross,” Marjan calls out as she makes her way over to them with Mateo a step behind her. “Is this what an in love TK is like, all mushy?” she mocks with a teasing grin on her pretty face.

Mateo laughs at him, and he isn’t the only one, Paul and Judd also grin in his direction. When he looks back at Carlos, he finds his face carefully blank, but the twinkle in his eyes give him away.

He pulls himself out of his hold and crosses his arms. “I’m going inside to help Grace with the sides,” he declares, taking a step back, he mock-glares at all of them as their grins grow. “I like her more than any of you anyway.”

He turns away from them, grinning as he makes his way up the house while they shout they love him to his back.

He walks into the house to find Grace and his dad at the kitchen counter. His dad cuts veggies while Grace works on a dip.

“Hey dad,” he greets him as he sneaks a piece of celery, giving Grace a boyish grin when she shoots him a warning look. “When did you get here?”

Owen smiles at him as he continues to chop. “A little while ago,” he answers. “Came in through the front and stayed to help Grace. It sounds like you guys are having fun out there.”

“Yeah, fun teasing me,” he grumbles, rolling his eyes when Owen and Grace shoot him a look. “I came to hide in here with Grace because she’s my favorite, so don’t you two start too.”

Owen and Grace grin at him for a moment before Grace moves towards him, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. “I love you too, TK.”

TK beams down at her, pulling her close. “My Favorite.”

“How quickly I’m replaced,” Owen says sadly.

“You dramatic city boys,” Grace shakes her head, her dimples popping as she smiles. She takes the finished dip and the tray of veggies Owen has ready. “I’m going to take this outside to tie them over.”

“I can help,” TK reaches for the tray only for Grace to pull it away.

“No,” she starts, she shoots a look in his dad’s direction before looking back at him. “You two stay and talk.”

TK frowns at the purpose behind her words as he watches her walk out of the kitchen, leaving him and his dad alone.

He turns to his father, noticing a paper in his hand. “What’s up?”

Owen looks at him, pensive, his expression giving away nothing. “I saw my doctor today.”

TK goes still at the words, fear, and frustration seizing him. He focuses on the anger instead of the fear. “I thought we made a deal,” he starts, taking a breath to keep from shouting. “I moved in here with Judd and Grace. Just like you wanted, and I go to every doctor’s appointment and chemo.”

“TK –”

“Every last one, dad!” TK continues, not letting Owen interrupt him when he’s wrong. “Not the ones you pick and choose to ‘protect me,’ we had a deal damn it!”

Owen holds up his hands. “I know, I know, I’m sorry,” he rushes, trying to calm him down.

TK presses his lips together, his arms crossed, anger vibrating inside him.

Owen lets out a deep sigh, leaning back on the counter. “I’m sorry,” he says again, this time slower. “You’re right, we had a deal, and I broke it.”

Owen looks at him, his blue-green eyes full of anguish. “I get scared TK,” his voice barely above a whisper. TK lets his arms drop as he hears the pain in his dad’s voice. “When I allow myself to think about it, I get so damn scared that I’m not going to beat this, and when that gets into my head, it’s all I can think about. If you come with me, you’ll see it. You’ll see that I’m terrified.”

TK’s eyes sting as he holds back the tears, and he sees his dad is doing the same.

“I’m your dad, TK,” Owen says with a watery smile. “I’m supposed to be strong for you.”

TK shakes his head, the tears slipping down his cheek. “Not with this, dad,” he says quietly but firmly. “We’re a team. It’s been you and me for so long; you have to let me be there for you, please.”

Owen nods, sniffing as he runs the back of his hand under his nose. “You’re right,” he gives TK another shaky smile. “Of course you’re right, I’m sorry.”

TK crosses the space between them, pulling his dad into a hug. “No more hiding things okay?” he askes into his dad’s shoulder. “We do this together.”

He feels his dad bob his head as he holds him tight.

When he pulls back, he finds Owen smiling brightly at him. He gives him the piece of paper, and TK frowns as he looks at a picture of two sets of lung x-rays. “What does it mean?” he asks tentatively, his worry easing slightly when Owen beams at him.

“This one is from when we first got to Austin,” Owen points at the left scan that shows a mass. “This one is now,” he points to the right where the mass is considerably smaller. “It’s shrinking, TK.”

TK lets out a stuttered breath, licking his lips as he looks at the scans through another fresh round of tears. “You’re getting better,” he whispers.

Owen swallows as he gives him a fatherly look. “Yeah.”

Letting out a small cry, he hugs his dad again as his body shakes. They hold on to each other, fear, and relief mixing in both of them. In the distance, TK hears the team outside talking and laughing. Pulling back again, he wipes under his eyes, smiling when his dad claps the back of his neck.

“I get why you wanted me here,” he starts. Owen waits silently for him to continue. “You wanted me to have a support system. For so long, it’s been you and me. We had our crew back in New York, but it was still always you and me. You wanted to give me more, that’s why you wanted me to move in here with Judd and Grace.”

Owen gives him a soft nod, his shoulders relaxing as he understands.

“You were right,” he continues, he grins as he hears Judd shouting something in the back, followed by roaring laughter. “I needed this. I needed them.”

Owen smiles softly. He opens his mouth to say something, but TK holds up a hand to stop him.

“But that doesn’t let you off the hook,” he tells his dad, his lips quirking upward. “You still have to stick around for a long time, so you need to keep kicking cancer’s ass. Deal?”

Owen chuckles as he shakes his head. “Deal, son.”

TK smiles, throwing his arm over his dad’s shoulder. “Come on; let’s go join them before they leave us without food.”

Owen laughs again as they walk towards the back. They get to the back door and stand there together as they watch their crew mingling around the yard. TK’s seeks Carlos out, not surprised to find his eyes already on him. He smiles softly at him when Carlos gives him a questioning look, tinted with concern.

“That smile is back,” Owen says at his side as he watches him. TK shifts his gaze from Carlos to look at his dad. “I’m so happy you’re happy, kiddo,” Owen echos his words from their last visit to the clinic.

“I’m in love,” he says easily, earning a small chuckle from his dad.

“Yeah,” Owen says, laughing. “That much is clear.”

TK looks over at Carlos again; he’s crossing the distance of the backyard to get to them. He holds out his hand to him, interlocking his fingers with his when Carlos reaches them.

“Everything okay?” he questions gently as he spots TK’s red-rimmed eyes.

TK nods yes, just as Owen shakes his head, making them look over at him with concern.

“Actually,” Owen starts, staring at Carlos with a raised eyebrow. “I recently found out that my son’s boyfriend had dinner with Judd and Grace before having dinner with me. This is obviously a mistake that needs to be corrected immediately.”

TK rolls his eyes, his shoulders relaxing. He lets go of Carlos’ hand to slip his arm around his waist, surprised to find him tense. He watches as Carlos stares at his dad with wide-eyes, and looks back at his dad, shaking his head as the man smirks in their direction. “Cool it with the dramatics before you freak Carlos out. He’s not used to your dad humor yet.”

Owen’s smile softens as he watches them. “He’ll have plenty of time to do so.”

TK looks from his dad to Carlos, silently agreeing, there’s plenty of time. Now that TK has him, Carlos isn’t going anywhere, and neither is his dad if he has anything to say about it.

“I’m off next Thursday evening, Captain,” Carlos offers, remembering that TK has three days off starting that day.

“Great!” Owen says happily. “We’re off too, Thai food or pizza?”

TK throws his head back, letting out a groaning laugh. Carlos coughs, trying to hide a smile of his own, he gives TK’s hip a squeeze in their shared amusement.

“Or I can cook?” he offers shyly. “I’m a decent cook.”

TK glares at him before turning to his dad. “Don’t listen to him, dad, he’s not decent, he’s a fantastic cook.”

Carlos blushes at the compliment, his eyes shining as he looks at him. “You’re biased.”

“You’re amazing,” TK pokes him in the chest. “Deal with it.”

Carlos pulls him closer, and TK is ready to get lost in his eyes when Owen clears his throat. They look over at him, finding a smirk on his face as he looks at them.

“You’ve twisted my arm,” he jokes. He nods towards the crew who have started lining up for food. “Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to use my Captain hat to cut the line.”

He cups TK’s shoulder, giving it a pat before walking away.

Carlos turns to him, his hands on TK’s waist, while TK lets his hands rest on his shoulders. “You sure everything’s okay?”

TK turns his head to look out at his family. He smiles as his dad tries to sneak in behind Marjan and Michelle for food. Paul, Mateo, Nancy, and Tim are talking and eating together at the table, while Judd has an arm around Grace; she grins up at him as he whispers something in her ear.

He looks back at Carlos; he’s watching TK with a loving look in his eyes that TK is never going to get enough off. He tugs him forward, and Carlos goes easily, his lips covering TK’s. He sighs into the kiss, lost in the feeling until he hears loud heckling.

Pulling back from the kiss, he laughs as their friends continue to tease them. There’s a gorgeous blush on Carlos’ face along with a beautiful happy grin.

TK loves him, and every other person here, what’s even more amazing is that they all love him right back.

He looks at Carlos and with a happiness that warms him to the tip of his toes, he says, “I’ve never been better.”

 THE END

[mtngirlforever]

Unsure

Thanks @shsbabe for the submission! I hope I did your idea justice! 

Carlos had spent the last eight months learning what did and did not make TK tick. They weren’t exactly dating, but they weren’t “hanging out” with anyone else. TK even stayed over some after their shifts if it was really late. Carlos would say they were dating, but TK wasn’t ready for that label yet. He was doing so much better than when he first arrived in Austin though. He’d cut his AA meetings and therapist sessions down to once a month; he was excelling with getting to know his team; he was handling Owen’s cancer diagnosis better than even he expected too, and honestly he was just much better off. 

Carlos had an hour left in his shift, when he got a text from TK telling him it’d been a rough shift, and he was going on to the bar with his team. He’d gotten in the habit of waiting on Carlos before going to the bar, so it must’ve been a really bad day that he felt the need to stay with them. Carlos didn’t mind, and told TK that; he’d just meet him there.

When Carlos got to the bar, he saw TK talking with a guy who was standing really close. The jealousy that streaked through him was a surprise, but at the same time it wasn't. Carlos made his way to the bar never taking his eyes off TK. He got his beer as Michelle sidled up next to him. "Who's that?" He asked her knowing she wouldn't need to see where he was looking to know who he was talking about. 

"Alex, from what I hear," she said never taking her eyes off Owen glaring daggers at the man. 

"Thought it was a rough shift?" Carlos asked seeing how easy TK was talking to his ex. 

"It was. Owen couldn't do much. His cough is worse; he was puking more. TK lost someone on his last call out; he took it personally. Wasn't an easy day."

"Fuck," Carlos said quietly his eyes never leaving the person they were discussing. TK looked too at ease with his ex after a hard day on shift and Carlos could feel doubts creeping in. 

"Good luck," Michelle said, giving his arm a pat before going to join the brooding captain. 

"Yea… right," Carlos whispered. He wasn't sure he could stand around watching TK make nice with his ex after everything he'd learned about TK and what Alex had put him through. He downed his beer and when TK hugged Alex, Carlos turned and headed out. 

When Alex left, TK returned to the table with his dad and Michelle. "Seen Carlos?" He asked her, looking around the bar for the one person who could make his day better. 

"He was here at the bar," she pointed to where she'd left him. The spot was now empty and none of them could spot Carlos. 

"Shit. I gotta go," TK said barely hearing his dad call out a bye as he raced out of the bar. He looked around for Carlos's truck but didn't find it. He jumped in his car and tried calling him, but it went straight to voicemail. 

"No, no, no," TK pleaded heading for Carlos's house. He had a feeling Carlos must have seen him with Alex and that's what caused his departure without even speaking to TK. "Please be home, please be home," TK pleaded as he drove the fastest route to his lover. He knew he hadn't labeled them yet, but he should've. He was going to. Carlos was the best thing that ever happened to him and he was ready. So ready for everything Carlos Reyes had to offer. 

The talk with Alex was the final closure. He didn't feel a thing when Alex tracked him to the bar. At one point this is who he wanted to spend his life with, but now. Now he knew. What he had with Alex was nothing compared to what he had with Carlos. Carlos was real love; he listened, he cared, he protected, he loved, he put TK above all else. It was time for the next step if he could just find him.

When he pulled up, Carlos's truck wasn't home and TK tried not to let himself panic. He got out and tried knocking, even though he knew Carlos wasn't there. He called, he text, but nothing. The anxiety that he'd just fucked up once more was about to get the best of him when headlights blinded him on his perch on the steps. 

When Carlos pulled in, he was surprised to see TK sitting on his steps looking for all the world like everything was crumbling around him. He'd turned his phone off and went for a drive to clear his head when he left the bar not really expecting TK to try and reach him. He wasn't sure TK even knew he'd been there. As soon as the truck was in park, TK was ripping his door open. 

"Carlos… please just listen," he said his breath coming in short bursts. 

"TK?" He asked confusedly as he got out of the truck. 

"It was nothing. I swear he… he wanted to get back together and I told him no. I don't want him. Never again. You. I know you were there. I don't know what you saw or think you saw or…" his breath was coming in quick succession as he tried rambling this all out at once. 

"Tyler! Breathe," Carlos said cradling his face. "Breathe. In and out slowly."

TK gave a small nod as he tried to sync his breathing with Carlos's. He knew if he didn't he'd hyperventilate, but he needed Carlos to know Alex was nothing to him anymore. 

"There. Keep doing that," Carlos said with a small smile as TK's breathing slowed. "Now let's go inside, yea?" Carlos asked, getting another nod. TK wouldn't let his hand go as he unlocked his front door and led them inside. 

"Want a drink?" Carlos asked when TK started pacing his living room chewing on his hoodie string. 

"No. No I… no," TK said. He'd been doing so much better and even occasionally let himself have one beer, but after today he didn't want it. 

"Not even water?" Carlos asked picking up on what TK wasn't saying. 

TK shook his head no, his eyes pleading with Carlos to just believe him. "TK you don't owe me anything," Carlos said trying to calm TK down. 

TK was right up against him pushing him into the wall before he finished that thought. "Yes. Yes I do. I want that. I want you! I want to owe you something, to share everything and know you'll be there after a rough shift. And know that no matter how bad I fuck up you still want this and you'll still be there. You'll still care and still listen and still just be you. But… but I could've already ruined that and I know that and fuck… if I did… just," TK walked back to the living room pacing, his hands running through his hair leaving it sticking every which way. "I know I've fucked up more than once with you and I'm sorry. God I'm sorry and I just…" Carlos was on him before he could finish anymore ramblings. 

He pushed him backwards into the nearest wall his lips never leaving TK's as he kissed him breathless. "TK, breathe," he smirked against his lips. This was honestly the last thing he expected, but it was making his night. 

"Can't…. When you kiss like that," TK smirked back. 

Carlos held him close just breathing him in. "Wanna talk about this?" Carlos whispered as TK basked in the love he could feel radiating from his boyfriend. 

"Yea… yea we should," TK said softly. He knew he needed to put some clarity into what he was trying to say instead of just hoping Carlos could decipher his ramblings. Carlos led him over to the couch where he settled before TK practically crawled between his legs with his back to Carlos's chest. Carlos settled his arms around TK as TK relaxed back into him.

"It was a rough day," TK sighed settling into the strength he could feel in Carlos's arms. "Shift was long. Dad was sick. And the last call…. Car crash. Multiple victims. Marj was working on the kid which left me to tend to the driver, the mom." Carlos tightened his arms around his boy just letting him get it out. 

"It was touch and go and I thought…. I thought I had her. We got her out, and Michelle showed up and then…. I don't… I don't know she just coded and there…. There was nothing," he whispered his arms tightening around Carlos's. 

"Ty," he whispered, kissing his head. "It wasn't your fault. You know things just happen," Carlos whispered. 

"Yea… yea I know. I went…. I went on to the bar to keep an eye on dad. I wanted to wait for you and I just… he'd had such a rough day, but he insisted on going and I just…"

"I know. It's ok Ty, I get it." His arms squeezed TK tighter knowing he needed some comfort. TK basked in his hold a moment longer before turning around straddling Carlos so he could face him. 

"And then…. I don't know, we got there and were having a good time and Alex just came out of nowhere. Total blindside. And I didn't want to talk to him, but I don't know, it just felt like it'd be closure. He thought he was gonna get me back," TK said quietly playing with the chain around Carlos's neck.

He was confident with his next statement when he met Carlos's eyes, "but I don't want him. I want you. And I know I've drug my feet and I've had so much to work through and been nothing but a handful, but I know. You are the best thing to ever happen to me and you are all I want. Alex wasn't love, it never would've worked and looking back I know. I should've seen it coming, but I didn't, and it…. Well it's worked out now. I feel stronger and better than I ever did in New York and I think…. I think part of that is you. And how you care for me and respect me and listen to me and are just there. And I… I've fallen so hard for you even though I didn't want to and didn't think I was ready and I know….. I know what love really is now," he whispered his eyes never leaving Carlos's. 

"Tyler," Carlos whispered sending a shiver through TK as he pulled his boy down to kiss him breathless again. "You're all I want too. All I've wanted since I laid eyes on you in your uniform," Carlos smirked. "I shouldn't have left, and I'm sorry." 

"No. No," TK said, shaking his head. "It… I probably would've done the same thing. But everything I just said… I told Alex too. I felt nothing when I saw him. Nothing, and when he left I was relieved. Because I knew, I would get to be with you. Talking about our day, letting you do what you do," TK smiled. "But this… this is just as good." His lips slowly descended on Carlos's as his hands tangled in the wayward curls Carlos tried to keep tamed. "I (kiss) want (kiss) you and only you (kiss) Carlos Reyes because I'm pretty sure," he pulled Carlos's hair tilting his head back and pulling a moan from his lover making TK smile big. "I love you," TK said with a goofy grin on his face. 

The breath Carlos sucked in had TK's smile growing even more. "Yea….. yea I love you," TK whispered before he kissed his better half breathless. Carlos's arms wrapped around him holding him tightly in place as they kissed like never before. 

"Tyler Kennedy," Carlos whispered, getting his hands on TK's face to hold him back while he caught his breath. "I love you too," Carlos whispered his smile lighting up his face. Their lips attacked one another as they sucked the oxygen from each other. The only thing that managed to separate them was TK's phone going off with a text. 

He let out a soft groan before pulling back."Sorry… could be dad," he panted to which Carlos reassured him. He knew TK would be worried after the day Michelle described and he knew how important his dad was to him. It was Owen, but he was just letting TK know he was gonna crash on Michelle's couch so TK didn't have to worry about going home. He replied to his dad making him promise to call if he needed anything, before tossing his phone aside to resume making out with his boyfriend. 

"Looks like I'm all yours tonight, Officer," TK whispered nipping at Carlos's bottom lip. "Bed," Carlos panted before wrapping his arms around TK and carting them off to bed. It was definitely not the night he thought he'd have when he saw TK in the bar with his ex, but it was the night he'd been dreaming of. TK totally taking care of him and finally putting a label on them.

[oneyoungexcuse]

I was going now to say just odds, but then some even questions seem fun too. So ALL. If you have time of course. 150 is a lot. But it would be nice to get to know Ellie. 24. London. Rubbish gay human being ... a bit better. 🍻

I love the fact that you put 🍻 love a good pint so you must know a little about me but here you go keen bean 😊 Please if you wanna talk go right ahead!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Someone who had to attend to the animals of London 
2. Are you outgoing or shy? A bit of both but mostly outgoing 
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?Not sure really. A few peeps :) 
4. Are you easy to get along with? Sometimes I can be a right difficult fucker 
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Probably but I haven’t got drunk like that for a very long while so they wouldn’t have to. 
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Honestly I don’t think I actually know now but as long as you’re kind, funny, not a Tory and drink. We’re good 
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I highly doubt it. 
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Erm …probably my dad because he called me last night 
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends with who but no not really anymore. I love sex.
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My Counsellor and her dog she looks after 
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Well you gave me an open door” 
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 1.) Get it together- Drake 2.) Deeper- MNEK 3.) Anyone Else - Pvris 4.) Bedroom Floor- Liam Payne (don’t judge me) 5.) Burning- Sam Smith but also his whole album which is absolutely sublime 
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? I love it. But you have to do it properly. 
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Not anymore 
15. What good thing happened this summer? I had the best birthday ever 
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes…
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? There must be 
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yeah I see them around and about
19. Do you like bubble baths?I’m actually not allowed them because of my skin but I miss them terribly 
20. Do you like your neighbors?They’re very sweet except when my older neighbour catches squirrels or smokes too much it goes into my room 
21. What are you bad habits? I tend to ruin things, I bite my nails, bite my lip constantly, swear too much, say stupid shit when I’m drunk 
22. Where would you like to travel? Asia, Canada, America, Caribbean, Mexico again. 
23. Do you have trust issues?I especially do now after this weekend. I can’t believe it. I think it’s better if I don’t for a while. 
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going back to bed. 
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My stomach, fingers, hips and teeth. 
26. What do you do when you wake up? “Erugh why is it not the weekend!” Then put some music on, feed my cat and get ready for work. 
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I wish it was clearer! No either. 
28. Who are you most comfortable around? Friends and people who are close to me. 
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Nope
30. Do you ever want to get married? Maybe.
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?God no and thank goodness I can’t do that shit anymore.
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Lynn Gunn Alycia Debham Carey Kristen Stewart 
33. Spell your name with your chin.Wokie ….OMG chewbacca?!?! Are you kidding me ! 
34. Do you play sports? What sports?I play rugby and run. I should get back into swimming though 
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Live without TV 
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?Yepppppp. She will never know because it’s soooo embarrassing. 
37. What do you say during awkward silences? “So…how about those dolphins?!” (Watch ‘The birdcage’ 
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?I don’t know anymore really. Just someone who wants me.
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Vans, TK Maxx, urban Outfitters 
40. What do you want to do after high school? Lol that was years ago but something better than what I’m doing now 
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Depends but most people yes. 
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m sad, tired or so angry that I’m scared if I say anything I’ll seriously regret it. 
43. Do you smile at strangers? Occasionally yeah 
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Even though I would hate going in a rocket, Outer space
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? That I have to go to work…otherwise I wouldn’t. 
46. What are you paranoid about? What people really think of me and just always not being in the know sort of thing 
47. Have you ever been high? Indeed. 
48. Have you ever been drunk? Me? Drunk? Never ;) 
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Jesus Christ yeah 
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Black and grey 
51. Ever wished you were someone else? Everyday. 
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I wish I would stop overthinking, over analysing and not have such bad anxiety? …so pretty much everything 
53. Favourite makeup brand?…I actually couldn’t name you one 
54. Favourite store? Pets at Home 
55. Favourite blog? 
56. Favourite colour? Blue, Maroon or Purple

58. Last thing you ate?Chocolate orange biscuit 
59. First thing you ate this morning? …chocolate orange biscuit 
60. Ever won a competition? For what?I won 2 swimming races, front crawl and back
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?Nope…nearly for stealing a dinner ladies walker talkie and bunking maths 
62. Been arrested? For what? Nope but again nearly for underage drinking and jay walking 
63. Ever been in love? Yes…So how about those dolphins 
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?It was a dare and it was in Greenwich Park and it was terrible hahaha 
65. Are you hungry right now? Not really feel a little sick 
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I haven’t met enough Tumblr friends to make that judgement I’m afraid 
67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook 
68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr. 
69. Are you watching tv right now? My work colleges are 
70. Names of your bestfriends? Pebbles, Bryn, Gabby 
71. Craving something? What? Sleep. Cuddles. Sex. Lying in bed all day with cold pillows watching a shit loads of netflix , cup of tea, a roast, long make out session, tattoos. All that jazz. 
72. What colour are your towels? Blue 
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?2
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?…yes. My bear and lion. Don’t judge me. 
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Only 3 at mums 
75. Favourite animal? Lion 🦁 
76. What colour is your underwear?Star Wars Print …geek I know 
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla 
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Bubblegum, Caramel chew chew Ben and Jerry’s or baked Alaska 
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?My work uniform which I hate 
80. What colour pants? …haven’t we discussed this…Star Wars 
81. Favourite tv show? That’s too difficult! But I’ll name a few parks and recreation, the walking dead, stranger things, sense 8 and crap like goggle box 
82. Favourite movie? Are you serious that’s too hard again I’ll name a few. Moonlight, city of god, little miss sunshine, a load of Disney films, the bird cage and some Tarantino 
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?Means girls 
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?Mean girls cmon 
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Damien 
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? I like the singing school teacher sting ray quite a bit otherwise the little octopus that says “he touched the butt!” 
87. First person you talked to today? I can’t remember someone fromWork probably 
88. Last person you talked to today? It’s not over yet but probably just the cat, I’m a lone wolf this week. 
89. Name a person you hate? Donald trump. 
90. Name a person you love? Does Lynn Gunn count? Or does it have to real people because I have too many 
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Someone from work or Donald trump 
92. In a fight with someone? Not so much as a fight but we aren’t talking because I’m not ready yet 
93. How many sweatpants do you have? Not enough! Only 2 
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Like 11? 
95. Last movie you watched? The Hunger Games 
96. Favourite actress? The girl from 12 Years a slave those nameI have forgotten but she is unreal. 
97. Favourite actor? Not sure actually. 
98. Do you tan a lot?Easily but not a lot 
99. Have any pets?1 my poor old sick cat 
100. How are you feeling? Tired, a little sick, a bit blergh and want to get this week over with. 
101. Do you type fast? Too fast I make so many mistakes 
102. Do you regret anything from your past? We’d be here all fucking day if I went through all of that 
103. Can you spell well? Nope I’m terrible 
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?So so much
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeah but not for a while 
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?I hope not but they were upset. It’s usually me though so it’s fine 
107. Have you ever been on a horse? Indeed but not since I was little 
108. What should you be doing? Sleeping or replying to text messages 
109. Is something irritating you right now? Work, lack of sleep, some people, lack of other things that I’m craving and life in general but all gravy :3 
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? So how about those dolphins?!
111. Do you have trust issues? We been through this haven’t we? 
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My cousin, she unloaded a hell of stuff on me and it upset me 
113. What was your childhood nickname?El
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? My borough in London yes 
115. Do you play the Wii? Not really I don’t own one :( 
116. Are you listening to music right now?Yes, I’m listening to Pvris 
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?I haven’t tried it to be honest. 
118. Do you like Chinese food?I love a dirty Chinese 
119. Favourite book? To kill a mockingbird or potter 
120. Are you afraid of the dark?When walking home yeah 
121. Are you mean?Not really but I can be …I straight away regret it though 
122. Is cheating ever okay? Depends on if that person has been hurt so badly to do so 
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Never. Carnival killed my other ones but it was worth it 
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No
125. Do you believe in true love? …yeah I suppose 
126. Are you currently bored?A bit more entertained now I’m doing this 
127. What makes you happy? Some certain people, cosy beds, good food, going out to have drinks, music, walks in parks, concerts, being in a mosh pit, when people call me babe , museums, rugby, spontaneous days, lazy days, board games, Christmas, hand holding, hair playing, animals, sex, wearing a good outfit, photography and cooking for people. 
128. Would you change your name? No I quite like Ellie 
129. What your zodiac sign? Leo 🦁
130. Do you like subway?It’s alright but prefer a proper good maccies 
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Wait …aren’t you gay? I’m gay? We’re gay…no! 
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? My counsellor …we’ve been through this!! 
133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Cause I could touch a hundred thousand soulsBut none of them would ever feel like homeAnd no matter how far and wide I roamYou are the only one that I’ll ever know- PVRIS ‘Anyone Else’ 
134. Can you count to one million? If I get really bored with my life I’llLet you know 
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? First time I got drunk I said I got food poisoning hahahaha 
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?Closed 
137. How tall are you? 5’7 
138. Curly or Straight hair?Don’t care
139. Brunette or Blonde?Don’t care 
140. Summer or Winter?Summer 
141. Night or Day?Day 
142. Favourite month?December 
143. Are you a vegetarian?Nope but I am eating wayyyyy less meat than what I use to 
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Shit …i love milk but white chocolate is buff 
145. Tea or Coffee?Tea
146. Was today a good day?It’s not over yet but I have got rugby later which I’m sort of looking forward to but it’s cold …
147. Mars or Snickers? Mars 
148. What’s your favourite quote? “Growing old is compulsory. Growing up is optional” 
149. Do you believe in ghosts? I don’t think 
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “Later, at night, she would say a prayer for the tainted soul of Senor Barcelona, who had a good heart but who’s brains had rotten away due to excessive reading” - The Shadow of the wind