#tl: joel smallishbeans

[hydeomonster]

what's your favorite joel moment

oougghhhh very good question. so many to choose from. he is a man of moments

I think im goinf to turn this question around a lil and pick between my favourite moments from each major series he's been in

my favourite Empires SMP moment is in s1, when Scott and Fwhip (i believe) are meeting to exchange the crown and Joel swoops in to steal it, it makes for a very funny image and characterisation.

favourite life series moment.... maybe it's because it's so recent in my memory but the whole being chased by half the server and teleporting them around, causing sooo much confusion with pure glee in his voice during the WL finale. soooo fun, genuinely such an iconic moment and I think it changed my brain chemistry.

favourite Hermitcraft moment!! perhaps when him and Grian put way too much effort and TNT into blowing up Xb for the Demise game? still think about it honestly. so overdramatic, anything not to admit defeat lol.

[belovedgamers]

Stop it. Stop it. That’s enough.

[kikiofthevast]

Not immune to Boat Boys

So Joel plops down on Etho’s raft (which instantly stops moving) and loudly proclaims he’s immune to all curses and therefore they will not affect him.

He says this, being functionally immortal and covered in barnacles and coral as a side effect from Scar’s curse and is sitting on an immobile raft because of Etho’s curse.

Etho naturally agrees and decides to see just how long this will last because he likes Joel and they just. Hang out.

Joel mentions Bdubs and Etho gets a funny look on his face but doesn’t talk about it.

Eventually Joel has to swim back to the Scourge and the instant he leaves the raft it starts moving on the waves again.

[sparxwrites]

Thoughts on the rift and everything that comes from it? <-finds your thoughts interesting and love reading your takes and opinions about things

truly obsessed with everything about it. the sheer amount of chaos. oli aggressively in character versus grian being allergic to lore. the immediate timmy bullying. rancher reunion. joel immediately making some truly filthy jokes. general hermit bewilderment about hermes. doc on a giant fucking pig, which i had not previously considered but i immediately accepted as the natural place for a doc to be. tango and his hats. everyone yelling "lore".

it's also kind of charming watching the hermits (who do play characters, but tend to be very loosey-goosey and self-conscious about actual roleplay) and the empires people (who, with a polite exception for joel "i refuse to do lore unless it's a) cursed, and b) i can be deeply self-conscious about it" smallishbeans, tend to be a bit more drama kid about their roleplaying) come into contact and try to adapt to the style of the server. it's very cute, and also just a really charming little bit of improv/social ettiquette being worked out in real-time, which i love.

(also gives us yet another example of grian "i am allergic to lore so simply i log onto a server, do the most lore shit imaginable, and then leave" dreamslayer doing his thing. "i think the empires people are a bit more serious about their lore haha anyway what if hermits are a whole different species" sir i want to preserve your brain for science.)

tl;dr: i am soooooo excited to see where they go with this <3

[stellarcat52]

Okay, back on my empires prophecy bs. This time, the Northern castle prophecy. TLDR at the bottom

This one is fairly obvious, I don’t think I’ve seen anything talking about this that isn’t Scott related (especially since the freezing started) and I hate it.

First things first, I need to make sure anyone interest is entirely aware. North does not mean cold, especially in Minecraft. North is a cardinal direction, not a temperature or weather pattern. Yes it’s usually associated with frigid temperatures, but again, it doesn’t matter in Minecraft.

Rivendell, the place where Scott has been living up until the most recent episode’s ending, is not northern at all. Actually, he’s in the south and is at basically the bottom of the map when north is the top. It is possible the ice spikes biome is northern, but unless that’s true and the ccs decide to actually go with the ice palace thing from frozen, (and even possibly then) it’s not talking about Scott.

Especially because I’m fairly sure the prophecy has already happened, or is happening. The northern empires are Pixandria, the Ocean Empire, and Mezalea. I really hope where I’m going with this makes sense now.

The Mezalean megabase, the Matral Palace, has been in work since episode 12 of Smallishbeans’ pov. I haven’t watched his pov yet, but in almost everyone else’s episodes, there have been remarks on how insane Joel is for building it, or how they wouldn’t/couldn’t build something as big and amazing as that.

Tl;Dr: This prophecy isn’t complex, I don’t understand why it’s still connected to Scott in the fandom. I don’t think anyone can top The (prophesied) Matral Palace of Mezalea.

[phosphorus-noodles]

Tell us your Joli headcanons please

YOU! I LIKE YOU!

Thank you anon, you have activated my trap card-

Gonna put this under a keep reading because it WILL get long djcnjsdds-

OKAY SO first some backstory-

On April Fools day in the jeremorbism server (name is a mess /aff) I decided to be chaotic and cosplay as Joel Smallishbeans. It quickly caught on and lots of people started becoming ccs, including my friend @/eevee-eclair who became Oli TheOrionSound.

At some point we basically acted out an entire enemies-to-lovers arc and kinda just. kept it going?? So when that April Fools day stunt became a real roleplay (known as the "orbyline," a cross between "orb" and "storyline") our jokey crack ship "Joli" stuck around. (This ship also accidentally broke up the one straight ship of the rp (Jizzie) so. oops-?)

So that was the first iteration of Joli: an afterlife smp roleplay. It was very angsty and messy but the devotion these two traumatized gays had for each other was mwah *chef's kiss.*

-

NEXT we have cempires Joli! Which I absolutely adore!! (idk why we call it cempires, I think it was @/sm0lcatfish's idea, but it's an empires s1 roleplay with bonus cc empires)

There's a ton of lore for them (mostly Eevee and her friend Mushy's lore from their au) but the gist is that they're soulbonded DL-style which is already on to a winner and they also have shared trauma spanning 200 years! (Joel was permakilled by a demon and is now a ghost possessing a clay doll, and same demon trapped Oli and his entire kingdom in stone for 200 years so woo angst!)

Cempires!Joli is probably my favorite Joli because childhood besties! They're soulbonds that love to die all the time to spite one another! They understand each other like no one else does because they've been together the longest! They tell each other things no one else knows! They're silly little guys that like to be goofy and tease each other about their other partners! (Lizzie for Joel and Callum for Oli, but in the rp the polycule is much, much larger-)

I just,, care them a lot,, ghjvcnmxfjsn,,,

-

I should probably also mention the empires s2 version (called "boogalpires" for emps2 electric boogaloo) but seeing as god!Joel hates mortals and Oli hates gods their "relationship" is... rocky at best. It's- it's a work in progress. They'll get there one day- /lh

-

Anyway the tl;dr version of this entire massive infodump you probably didn't ask for is this:

Joli is what happens when you take the "childhood besties to lovers" trope and treat it like crack-turned-serious.

And honestly? I wouldn't have it any other way. This crack ship was an accident but I absolutely adore them and will die on this hill.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk, anon I am so sorry for this bc I doubt this is what you wanted at *all-* (there's too many versions to just have general hcs! /lh /hj) and have a nice day/night everyone o/

[liamannt]

I followed you for your it content but I dont know these minecraft youtubers are looking really intresting any recommendations or how do I get into them?

Oh boi! this is the best question I've ever gotten tbh but here we go So the thing I'm into rn, and what I've been posting about for the last few weeks or so is called Last Life. It's a hardcore SMP (survival multiplayer) where every player is assigned randomly from 2 to 6 lives at the beginning. If they die and reach their last life their names become red and their goal is to kill others, all alliances with that person break. They do all of this until just one remains. That's a very in short summary of what really happens. Also it has 9 episodes and depending on who you're watching the episodes are 20-40 minutes long so it's a quick binge. So Last Life is actually the second season of Third Life which has a similar premise but it is a bit more lighthearted, where ppl can make alliances with the Red Names. My advice is to start with Third Life and I think the best person to watch for that is Grian (that's how i started watching it as well). Him and Scar have an amazing dynamic, and their story is very enjoyable. But everyone's povs are very enjoyable so if you have interest in others you can go on their channels and watch their pov (that is one of the things I love the most abt this). Once you're done with Third Life, I recommend watching Last Life from Etho's pov, but Grian's and Smallishbean's povs are rlly good as well. But whoever you end up watching you have to watch episode 7 from Grian's pov because it is the best one by far. I also should warn you that there is a lot of angst so be ready for that lol. Now when I first watched Third Life it was really hard for me to get into it bc I didn't rlly know anything abt most of the players. So I'm gonna make a small list explaining the players so it's easier to understand everything (I'm making this assuming you don't know any of them but also trying not to spoil anything):

Smajor1995 (Scott) -in Third Life he has an alliance with Jimmy, people also call them Flower Husbands. In Last Life he has an alliance with Pearl and Cleo and they're called Gatekeep, Girlboss and Gaslight. He's all around a loyal and fair player, I would say definitely Lawful Good. Outside this series he is known for organizing the biggest Minecraft event called Minecraft Championship. So he is a pretty big name in this community

Skizzleman (Skizz) - In TL he was allied with Ren, in LL with Bdubs, Etho and Tango, forming team BEST. I don't know a lot about him but I would say he is definitely a Neutral Good. He is pretty wholesome, and the glue in the BEST team. GoodTimesWithScar (Scar)- in TL he is teamed with Grian, in LL he is mostly alone but on good terms with everyone. He is an interesting charachter for sure. He is a bit of a scammer and an arsonist but we love to see it. I would say he's Lawful Evil but that's my personal opinion. Grian- in TL he is teamed with Scar and in LL he is part of the Southlands, which is made out of Mumbo, Martyn, Jimmy and Impulse. He is a gremlin. Chaotic Evil. You will love him and hate him at the same time. Smallishbeans (Joel)- in both TL and LL he isn't really part of any teams. Lone wolf. He is very lovable despite being chaotic as all hell. He is a pretty funny dude tho. Neutral Evil for sure. Rendog (Ren) - in TL he is the king of Dogwarts, teamed with Martyn (his closest ally) and Etho, in Last Life he is part of the Shadow Alliance with Lizzy, Cleo and BigB. He is very into Roleplay but it is rlly fun to watch tbh. ''King daddy of the server''- Etho, Third Life. Neutral Good

SolidarityGaming (Jimmy but some ppl call him Timmy which is confusing and no one rlly understands why) - in TL he is teamed with Scott and in LL he is part of the Southlands. He's a pretty silly boy, if we were on twitter ppl would call him ''baby''. He is Neutral Good. EthosLab (Etho) - in TL he is teamed with Ren and Martyn and in LL he is part of BEST team. Ppl are afraid of his PvP skills so they dont start beef with him. He loves his trees but Scar keeps burning them down. He is Chaotic Neutral. TangoTek (Tango) -in TL he is an honorary Crastle Member (formed out of Cleo and Bdubs), and in LL he is part of team BEST. Angry boi, he is also very funny. He is Chaotic Neutral. InTheLittleWoods (Martyn)- in TL he is Ren's right hand man, part of Dogwarts, and in LL he is part of Southlands. He is also into Roleplay, and he has cutscenes and stuff that make his story a bit more complex, so if you're into that definitely check him out. A lot of ppl are into the lore that he does in his series. He has fun interactions with everyone. I would say he is a Lawful Neutral.

ImpulseSV (Impulse) -in TL he changes alliances, and in LL he is part of the Southlands. He seems innocent but looks are deceiving, especially in TL. He is a True Neutral. BdoubleO100 (Bdubs) -in TL he is teamed with Cleo and they're the Crastle Crew, and in LL he is in team BEST. Whoever he teams with he fights for them til death. He's a loyal man and Etho ppl make fun of him for being short. He is Chaotic Good. Bigbst4tz2 (BigB) -in TL he sorta does his own thing and in LL he is part of the Shadow Alliance. I also don't know much abt him but he has some angsty but cool moments with Cleo in LL that are worth watching. He is a True Neutral. ZombieCleo (Cleo) -in TL she is part of the Crastle with Bdubs, in LL she begins in the Shadow Alliance. You don't want to have her as your enemy. Chaotic Neutral. LDShadowLady (Lizzy) -she joined in LL and she was part of the Shadow Alliance. She's married to Joel so if you see them flirting that's why. I would say she's pretty Chaotic Neutral.

Mumbo Jumbo -joined in LL and was part of Southlands. Definitely a great addition to the series and him and Grian have a great dynamic. I would say he is also a Chaotic Neutral but I might be wrong. PearlescentMoon (Pearl) -only joined in LL, allied with Scott and Cleo. Best one at making traps so far tbh. She is a crazy lady but we stan. I would say she's pretty Neutral Evil. That's all of them, hope it helps shape them a bit. I also wanna add that half of the people who play in this series are Hermitcrafters, which is also smth else I've gotten into bc of Last Life. So if you enjoy watching Scar, Grian, Mumbo, Etho, Bdubs, Ren, Pearl, Cleo, Tango and Impulse, you can watch their Hermitcraft series, which is a minecraft server where they build crazy stuff and have fun interactions. And the rest of the players you can also find either on the EmpireSMP or playing in MCC! Tl;dr Third Life and Last Life is a rlly enjoyable series, with fun dynamics, interesting story, heart-wrenching angst, complex characters and most importantly murder! Also another tip is to check out fanart on Tumblr, Twitter and Reddit bc it's really good and the content will suck you in fast. Otherwise if you have any questions feel free to dm me! I would also love to hear your reaction to all of it and know if you managed to fall into the Minecraft Roleplay deephole or you survived it :))

[daisy-bugs]

3rd Life Whitelist Fightlist

I've seen posts like this for Hermitcraft, and now I'm doing one for 3rd Life, because why not.

Basically, I'm rating members of 3rd Life by how fightable they are in my opinion. Let's get going.

Grian - 5/10

The big man himself. I feel like we'd be fairly evenly matched, we're about the same height. Only reason I would have a chance of losing is because he has a wicked punch. However, I have a wicked kick, which tends to come in handy.

Scar - 0/10

I can't fight him okay?? He's too sweet I know he's evil and will swindle me out of everything I own but it's Scar so I'd let him

Smajor - 7/10

I could beat this man to a pulp but I would feel bad for his husband afterwards. I couldn't do that to Jimmy. Also the man has potions.

Jimmy (Solidarity) - 0/10

I don't care if he's red he's too much of a sweet dumbass I couldn't do it. If I even considered fighting Timmy then someone call for help because that's not me

Tango - 4/10

Redstone wizard. I would never see the traps coming no matter how prepared I was. This guy ran maintenance on ravagers, I could easily beat his ass but he would never let me get close.

Impulse - 6/10

He has redstone but he's also a softie so I could get into striking distance. However I feel like the chances of him (at least attempting) throwing me are a bit risky. Also he's a sweet dad, I'd be in a tough situation if I had to consider fighting him.

Etho - 0/10

If I'm in a fight with Etho I'm already dead. I fear the slab man. I feel like he would be able to take a shocking amount of punches and would wear me down and then use some kind of pressure point witchcraft to knock me out. That or the fact that he probably has practiced ninja shit at one point. TL;DR no no no no you can't make me no I fear the slab man please no

Skizz - 3/10

He would go insane and hunt me down. As much as I'd be willing to fight him I would absolutely lose that fight.

Martyn (InTheLittleWood) - 10/10

Protagonist boy who lived is going down. I have more protagonist energy than he could ever dream of. He is losing this fight one way or another. No plot armor for you in this battle, Littlewood.

Ren - 2/10

Normally Ren is easy to kick the shit out of (I'd feel bad afterwards, but could do it), but I'm scared of this Red King shit. Also he'd send his army out for my head.

BigB - 0/10

This man has done nothing mean in his life ever and I couldn't handle trying to fight him he's too out of the loop and far too kind I can't

Joel (SmallishBeans) - 9/10

I may adore Joel with my whole being but this bastard is going down I love him and his villain arc he's going through but he is not winning this fight unless he sics his dogs on me

Cleo - 1/10

See a small part of me is tempted to fight her but I'm gonna get my ass beat so let's just not

Bdubs - 9/10

Bdubs would send Cleo on me but him by himself is an easy win, he'd be too busy yelling at me and screaming for Cleo. Sorry buddy we may have a lot in common but therefore There Can Be Only One.

[harley-the-pancake]

TL: going fucking nuts over lore

My brain: I have given Joel Smallishbeans a wolf shifter daughter and I love her

[hydeomonster]

Joel Smallishbeans Centric, Fanon Watchers, Celestial symbolisms, Wild Life SMP spoilers

"So, what will it be?" "I don't get it." Joel would like to go back to Hermitcraft, debrief with his beautiful wife, celebrate his *well deserved* win with his friends (who no longer want his head on a stick) and rest after the utter chaos and nonsense that was Wild Life. But instead here he is. Or : Joel has to choose which celestial body he represents as a winner. He chooses to be a nuisance.

[hydeomonster]

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Joel | Smallishbeans & Pearl | Pearlescentmoon

Characters: Joel | SmallishBeans, Pearl | PearlescentMoon

Additional Tags: POV Joel | SmallishBeans, Pearl | PearlescentMoon and Joel | Smallishbeans are siblings, Red Life Pearl | PearlescentMoon (3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series), Red Life Joel | SmallishBeans (3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series), Character Analysis, Pearl | PearlescentMoon Needs A Hug, And she gets it, self destructive Pearl | Pearlescentmoon, Joel | Smallishbeans and Pearl | Pearlescentmoon are twins, Inspired by Fanart, Protective Siblings, Twins, Family Dynamics, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, Self-Esteem Issues

Summary:

Pearl meets with Joel after his win. They talk and, maybe, cry a little and hopefully help each other out.

or ; I spread my wolfblings propaganda one character analysis and relation analysis at a time.

[hydeomonster]

for some reason i can't log into tumblr from my puter so just have this

For day 3 of seven holy nights of jeremy (joel week)

amazing and not scuffed post

[hydeomonster]

Smalletho (Joel | Smallishbeans / EthosLab), Joel-centric, Royal au, love letters and long distance relationships, grief / mourning, familial grief, written for @hermitshippingbigbang !!

So Joel didn't kiss Etho. Ae can't bring aerself to say anything but ask, without saying it, if Etho could bear to see aer again.

"Will you write me?"

The knight nods solemnly, ever so good at staying composed in front of others, when Joel can see the blood rushing to his cheeks. "Of course," he replies, "as soon as we hit land."

OR : Etho's leaving for Pixandria, Joel's seemingly alone in Mezalea and life likes to challenge aers faith and will to live on. That's to say ae is as confused as ae is scared, but there's nothing much to do but wait.

CHECK OUT @bad12amcomic 's art for this HERE !!:3

i forgot to set this to queue help . anyway !!!

im so silly happy to post this they're literally like . my babies. this is so cheesy and sappy and sweet if you ignore those times Joel wants to die its actually really fluffy .

[kikiofthevast]

hey hey hey love the au brilliant amazin purfect, can I maybe here more about the little guy known as mr. Solidarity

-s

Of course of course of course

So Jimmy Solidarity is definitely not human. He tried to hide the fact that he was a fish man for a while but he's just. Not very subtle nor is he a very convincing liar.

He stuck coral in his hair to make it look like the curse was affecting him (and he still does it!) but it tends to fall off at comically inappropriate times.

Joel is very protective of him and has scooped him up before because he is Not immortal and quite vulnerable. He can also remain on land for a long period of time without consequence, as long as he has access to water to keep him hydrated, so the crew value him for that.

Jimmy is also the primary victim of Pearl dumping water on people's heads.

Thank you for the ask Anon o7

[kikiofthevast]

Explain it the most cripytic way of what the hell it lizzie

Lizzie is more of an idea than a being.

She’s a shadow under the water that is three times the size of the ship. Blue sail fins crest the water and bright eyes light the ocean at night. She circles deep below the water.

Joel and Cleo have seen her.

Joel watches the water day after day for imperceptible inconsistencies. A deeper blue than should exist.

Cleo witnessed her in the dark of night, tall and looming over the Scourge. Her eyes are bright and curious, but they are deep black with bright white pupils that shine in the dark.

Jimmy is hesitant to describe her to anyone beyond his childhood stories.

Thank you anon! I hope this is what you wanted!

[kikiofthevast]

Stationary

Joel, contrary to what some members of the crew might tell you, is not an idiot.

But he doesn’t really think about what he says before he says it.

In this case, as Etho’s boots land on the ship’s deck, he feels the wood under him creak and then stop. Stop dead in the water. Like the waves aren’t even buffeting the ship.

So Joel stares at Etho, who is looking around the Scourge with interest, and then grins.

“Well well!” he says. “That’s a cool power you’ve got, my friend!”

Etho turns and blinks at him. “We just met. I’m not your friend.”

Joel dramatically leans forward. “Are you saying you don’t want to be friends with someone as cool as me? You’re missing out.”

The man laughs, before looking around again. “Say, uh, where’s your captain? I’d like to speak with him?”

Joel blows a raspberry. “But why would you want to do that when I’m right here! I am infinitely cooler than Scar and I also want to know how you stopped the boat.”

Etho shrugs. “I don’t know. And as for you, you certainly…know how to make an impression.”

“What’s going on out here? Joel did you drop the anchor again?”

Grian walks up on deck with his eyebrows raised, and his eyes light up with interest when they fall on Etho. “Well! Who’s your friend, Joel? And did they drop the anchor overboard?”

“No, well, maybe.” Joel taps his chin. “I don’t know. I didn’t see him drop it.”

Grian sighs. “Well, I guess that’s a mystery solved. Come on, let’s have you introduce yourself to Scar.”

Without another word, Grian grabs Etho by the arm and pulls him below deck.