#to be clear i will be fine im moving in w my gf at the end of this month

[niceandbluept2]

anyway kill all landlords lmao

[lovelymaybankk]

full kook - jj maybank

req- reader x jj (can you tell i’m a jj stan?) where the reader is full on kook but unlike sarah jj hates her and doesn’t want her to be a part of pouge life where she fits in and he’s constantly bullying her to where even sarah has to say something but it’s to late because now she’s full kook again until midsummer where she helps him out with topper and they become bf and gf

a/n- i love this rq... sm. also out of order, sarah befriends the pogues before the midsummer party. also y/n is kinda a bitch in this at the beginning srry

w/c- 4.704 (oops...)

tw- swears, rafe and topper being dicks.. thats it i think idrk

sarah cameron and y/n y/l/n were kook princesses. they took orders from nobody, and were definitely the two most popular girls on the island. they had been best friends since birth, and nothing could separate them.

well, except for a group of pogues. y/n never understood sarah's infatuation with them, though to an extent, she did. they could do whatever they want without fear of disappointing their parents. thats all y/n cared about. her parents. not money, of course sarah but other than that.. she didn’t need anybody. 

“sarah, you’re crazy.” y/n huffed, legs crossed. one eyebrow was raised, but other than that y/n looked immensely bored. sarah had gone mia yesterday, and it turned out she was hanging out with a group of poges. “topper will kill you,” the girl sang, a smug look on her face. 

“i don’t care what he thinks! with him i’m.. free.” sarah said dreamily, falling beside y/n on the bed.

“with him you’re a crackie,” y/n snorted, standing up. “i’m just saying, they do nothing all day. how is that entertaining?” her arms folded over her chest, sarah sitting up as she said that.

“they go on boat rides. they drink. i know you like that,” sarah winked, catching y/ns attention. “you’d fit right in. you love all the stuff they do, drinking, drugs, surfing..” she rambled. 

“even if i were to meet them, which i will not, they wouldn’t like me. my reputation is worse than yours,” y/n chuckled, sitting on the hardwood floor to slide on a pair of sandals. “anyway, theres no chance kiara would want me there.”

it was true, kiara and y/n ended on the same note kiara and sarah did. 

“kie and i made up,” sarah mumbled.

“oh she’s kie now? thats convenient.” y/n rolled her eyes, standing and grabbing her bag. “you know, as much as i hate being a kook.. i wouldn’t just switch up like that.” she was mad, venom in her words. who knew if sarah would leave her for the pogues? whos to say she doesn’t?

“just. one day? i’ll bring you tomorrow and i’ll show you what it’s like.” sarah begged, grabbing y/ns hand and she closed the pocket in the bag. y/n rolled her eyes.

“fine. i’ll be here at 10.” y/n pulled her arm away quickly, leaving the room and going downstairs to start her short walk home.

y/n woke up around 8, taking a quick shower and brushing her teeth. as her hair dried, she dried her body and changed out of her pajamas into a pair of light-wash jean shorts and a cropped tee. she sat at her bureau, applying light mascara and chapstick. by the time 9:30 rolled around, y/n left her house and started her walk to sarah's house. she knocked on the door, getting met with rafe’s face. 

“oh, goodmorning.” rafe opened the door wider, getting stopped by sarah.

“you’re gonna let bugs in,” sarah muttered, leading y/n to her car where they started their drive to the cut. 

“do they know im coming?” y/n’s lips pursed, turning to look at her blonde best friend. sarah nodded, stopping the car once they came to the chateau. 

“john b and kie do.. jj and pope don’t.” sarah clarified, stepping out of the car and leading y/n with her. she opened the door, showing y/n the tight room.

y/n looked around, heart suddenly speeding up. they stepped onto the porch, conversations cutting short suddenly. everybody looked from sarah to y/n, making both girls suddenly uncomfortable. 

“oh good. two kooks,” jj muttered, not quietly. john b slapped his arm, finally standing and offering a smile at the girl. he took y/n’s hand, shaking it firmly. 

“i’m john b. sarahs, um. boyfriend,” john b smiled, trying to be friendly. 

“oh, you’re john b. sarah has good taste.” y/n smirked, giving him a sly wink before looking towards her best friend who was now flushed a light pink. 

“anyway,” sarah cut them off before anything could happen. “thats pope, hes smart, thats kiara, who you know and.. thats jj.” she didn’t have anything to say about jj, who was leaned back with his arms cross. he tsked, sitting up.

“so what does another kook princess want? here to spy?” jj spoke with venom, eyes raking up and down the girl.

y/n shrugged, taking a seat beside, but still a distance away from kiara. “sarah here says you guys are more fun than you seem, and i don’t believe her.” her arms crossed around her chest, leaning back in the way jj had done before.

“well, before this escalates,” pope cut the two off from an argument being sprung up, “i’d say we’re pretty fun. you like boat rides? surfing?” he was guessing in his head both of these would be a no, looking at kiara who seemed uneasy at the thought of having another one of her ex-best friends here. he rested his hand on her thigh, making her smile carefully.

“i surf sometimes. not as much as i used to when i was younger, i’d say twice or three times a month.” y/n shrugged, legs crossing. this got everybody's attention, asking her about surfing and what else she does.

everybody except jj.

-

months led on and y/n had soon slowly joined the group on their daily shenanigans. she hung out with them almost everyday, but still spent time with her family and just sarah alone. it was obvious y/n fit it. jj never came around to the thought of y/n, even though she seemed to be very interested in him.

sarah and y/n were laying on y/ns bed, talking mindlessly about whatever. 

“so like, why does jj hate me?” y/n wondered out loud, turning so she was laying on her side, facing sarah. sarah shrugged, facing y/n on her side.

“i don’t know. i think you’re to hot for him,” sarah giggled, punching the girls shoulder.

y/n laughed, face heating up. “to hot for him? i mean, come on. look at him,” she let out a breathy sigh, falling onto her back again. her arm was laid over her chest lazily, eyes closing.

“why do you ask? do you like him?” sarah teased, sitting up and fixing her hair. y/n stayed quiet. sarah gasped, suddenly freaking out. “holy shit! you do!!” she squealed, pulling y/n up and hugging her so tight y/n forgot how to breathe.

“look, it isn’t that big. i’ll get over it soon.” y/n shrugged away from the girl, standing up and stretching. “lets head to the chateau now, yeah?” she helped pull sarah up, who nodded quietly and they both slid on their shoes. 

the pair walked out to sarah’s white jeep, driving to the chateau in the midst of summer. “so, y/n.” sarah broke the silence, rolling down the windows. the fresh air from figure 8 filled the car, which smelt solely like suntan lotion and salt water. “you going to the midsummer?” she asked, steering the car slowly into the cut.

y/n groaned at the mention of it, rolling her eyes. “wish i wasn’t. but it’s fine, it’s in two weeks.” she shrugged, trying to shake off the thought of it. they pulled into the driveway, stepping out at the same time and entering the small space. they spoke about whatever came to mind, conversation cutting short as they stepped onto the porch. “hey guys,” y/n greeted, a warm smile on her face.

she had changed since she had met the group, now not turning a cold shoulder whenever she met a pogue when she was walking.

“hey girls,” pope grinned, holding a red solo cup. his legs were crossed, kie taking the seat that jj normally sat in. sarah waved, moving quickly to sit beside her boyfriend. this left jj and y/n. y/n watched jj’s face contort with disgust, moving closer to the arm.

“somebody wanna switch seats?” jj muttered, making y/n roll her eyes.

“good to see you too, buttercup.” y/n popped the p, sitting down as far away from jj as possible.

“don’t call me that,” jj hissed, not even facing the girl as he spoke. “i’d rather not sit next to the bitch,” he mumbled that one more quiet, catching y/n off guard. sure, jj always made fun of her but he never called her anything.

kie cleared her throat, before y/n could stand up to jj. “boat ride today?” she smiled awkwardly at y/n, who’s eyebrows were currently furrowed. the group let a chorus of ‘yes’ and ‘sure’s out. they grabbed their cooler, y/n stopping jj before he could get onto the boat.

“can we talk?” y/n’s arms crossed, putting her weight more on one of her feet than the other.  jj nodded, rolling his eyes as he followed the girl closer to the house. “why do you hate me?” she questioned, looking the taller up-and-down. 

“because,” jj scoffed, like it was obvious, “you’re a bitch. you’re insanely bossy, you’re rude and expect everything to be handed to you. you can’t do shit alone, yet everybody still bows down to you. you’re a fucking kook.” he snapped, walking past the girl and pushing her shoulder roughly to make her fall.

y/n fell onto her ass, wincing as a rock went into the back of her thigh. “motherfucker,” she hissed, catching the boy’s attention. “you’re a bitch, you’re just mad that i won’t sleep with you.”

jj stopped, turning and facing the girl. “oh yeah? thats why. keep telling yourself that.” he smirked, turning and continuing his walk.

“tell sarah i won’t be joining you.” y/n yelled, wiping her eye as she pulled the rock out of her thigh. she stood, turning and stomping away. jj didn't stop her. he stepped onto the boat, obviously pissed.

“she left,” jj sunk into his seat, reaching into the cooler to grab a beer. the group stopped talking, facing jj. he shrugged, rolling his eyes. “she was being bitchy so she left.”

“what’d you say?” sarah’s face turned a light red as she started to get angry, using one hand to shield her eyes from the sun. 

“she asked why i hated her so i was honest. told her she was a bitch,” jj spoke with ease, leaning back and ignoring the burning stares from his friends.

-

it had been two weeks since the group, except sarah, had seen y/n. they all were worried, but at least knowing she was alive from sarah made them feel better. it was two days before the midsummer party, and sarah came knocking loudly on the y/l/n home. opening the door was y/n, hair curled as she wore a short skirt and a white crop-top to match. a kook outfit.

“y/n? is that you?” sarah joked, stepping into the house. y/n quirked an eyebrow, looking the girl up and down.

“well? what do you need?” y/n spoke in a monotone voice, arms crossed as they usually were. under the outfit she wore a bikini, eyes glancing at the surfboard behind sarah.

“oh, i was gonna ask if you wanted to join me and..” sarah trailed off, still speaking but y/n cut her off.

“no.” y/n shrugged, now pushing past the blonde to grab her surfboard. she dusted off some sand from it, hearing it land on the tiled flooring. she kicked some of it away, picking up the board under her arm. “look, im flattered you want me there,” she teased, leading herself out the door and soon sarah followed. “but i’m wear i should be. figure 8. a kook,” y/n shrugged, walking down the sidewalk towards the beach.

“y/n-” sarah chased the girl down the sidewalk, grabbing her shoulder rough enough to make her stop. “we miss you,” she spoke softly, careful not to provoke the girl even more. though that failed.

“okay, i don’t really care. look, i’m meet somebody i have to go,” y/n hissed, turning a cold shoulder quickly.

“who?” sarah continued following y/n, making her groan and turn again.

“holy shit. topper? okay? is that alright if i have friends, ms. kook?” y/n yelled, dropping the board on the ground. “you never gave a shit when jj was talking shit about me to my fucking face, why do you care now? huh?” 

sarah wasn’t used to these outbursts, taking a step back with her hand close to her chest.

y/n scoffed, turning and rolling her eyes. “just what i thought,” she muttered, grabbing the board again and continuing her walk to the beach. this time, sarah didn’t chase her. she just watched in silence, wondering when her best friend became a kook. 

y/n made her way to the beach, sliding off the sandals she wore and looking around for the kook boy. she waited for around an hour, surfing in the water to keep her calm. by the time the sky had become golden, she knew she got stood up.

marching her way back to her house, y/n held her head high until she slammed her bedroom door shut. sobs raked the girls body, tears running down her cheeks onto her shirt until it was thoroughly soaked. she held her face in her hands, wondering how in the span of two weeks she managed to get her heartbroken by the guy she had been hung up on for months, and then by a rich asshat.

sulking to her bed, y/n flopped down and shut her eyes. hoping that if she slept, by the time midsummer came around she would be to numb to care.

-

y/n slipped the tight, yellow dress, over her hips and smiled to herself. the buttercup color paired flawlessly with her skin, hair pulled back into a low bun. she only wore mascara and lipgloss, and a pair of white sandals as her shoes. 

y/n entered the car with her family, staying silent during the ride. she knew sarah and kie would be there, but she didn’t have to enter with a date unlike sarah. she slipped out of the car, quickly leaving her parents behind her as she made her way through the crowd. she disappeared into the back yard, looking for topper to give him a piece of her mind,

kiara noticed y/n first, biting the inside of her cheek before going towards her. she put her hand on y/n’s shoulder, making the girl jump. she turned, facing kiara and her stomach dropped.

“oh, hey..” y/n muttered, scratching the back of her neck as awkwardness settled in the air between the two. 

“hey. how you been?” kiara asked, hands on her hips now. y/n rolled her eyes, suddenly gaining her confidence back.

“good. great actually, y’know?” y/n sarcastically smiled turning and cutting the conversation short. kiara scoffed, turning and going back to where sarah and pope were. 

“she’s acting like a kook,” kie complained, rolling her eyes. sarah bit the inside of her cheek, staying quiet. “what?” kie noticed the look on her face, turning and looking at the girl.

“i was afraid she was gonna do this. every time somebody says something to her about acting to much like a pogue she freaks out.” sarah muttered, leaving the group in search of the girl.

instead, sarah bumped into jj, who was dressed as a waiter. he smiled, offering the girl a drink. “um, vlad?” jj grinned, trying to blend in. “john b told me to give you this,” the boy whispered, trying to be discreet. even though sarah and john b saw each other daily, he still had jj do his work for him. sarah took the note and took jj’s hand, muttering a quiet ‘come with me’. 

the two went to the back porch, where sarah blew up. “are you shittting me?” she hissed, pushing the boy back and catching her off guard. 

“woah mama, chill.” jj joked, but stopped smiling once he saw the look on her face. “what? what’d i do?” now he was confused and concerned, not even fully knowing what he did. 

“oh you never know.” sarah hissed, rubbing her hands onto her dress. her eyes caught toppers, both of them standing still as she stared into the eyes of her ex. she finally pulled away, sighing at jj. “y/n has gone full kook again,”

“damn, thats crazy. let me uh.. oh yeah. i don’t care.” jj shrugged, pushing past sarah. he ignored her calls, walking through the crowd. he bumped shoulders with y/n both giving each other a cold glare before continuing their walk. neither of them could help the butterflies in their stomach as they touched, but they pushed them down and continued their (mild, on y/n’s part) hatred for each other. 

y/n finally found topper, grabbing his arm with a pinch. he hissed, noticing who was holding his arm. “oh, y/n.” topper muttered, a bit confused on why she had suddenly dragged him through the crowd. y/n drug the boy into a somewhat empty room, except for a couple of parents mingling around.

“really?” y/n let his arm go, crossing her arms over her chest. topper shrugged, not knowing what she was talking about. in his hand that y/n wasn’t dragging he held a red solo cup. taking a long sip, he rocked from foot to foot. “you ditched me. remember?” y/n huffed, anger coursing through her body. she wished she had a blunt right now, but of course she had gone full kook and didn’t feel like blowing a crazy amount of money for weed.

“oh yeah.” topper spoke nonchalantly, obviously not bothered by the girls anger.

y/n groaned, turning on her heel away from the boy. she wanted to scream, pushing through the crowd angrily. she found her way to her mom, tugging on her dress. “when are we leaving?”

her mom laughed, shooing the girl away. y/n rolled her eyes, seeing sarah dancing in the middle of the crowd. she bit her inner cheek, knowing if sarah was there the rest of the mystery gang would be there too. she craned her neck, looking around for topper before slowly making her way to sarah.

“um, hey.” y/n muttered, a feeling of self-pity dowsing the girl. sarah turned, taking in the girls state before responding.

“hey, whats up?” sarah slung her arm around the girl, smiling at the randoms in the crowd she didn’t know. they quickly made their way off the dance floor, sarah taking her arm off of her. 

y/n shrugged, not making eye contact with the older. “hows everybody?” her voice was quiet, barely heard above the music. she rubbed her left arm with her hand, still not looking at sarah.

“good.” sarah was blunt, not on purpose but out of somewhat anger. she got blown off many times by the girl, just for her to come crawling back. like always. 

y/n nodded, finally looking at sarah. “i’m sorry, i always do this. i always do dumb shit and come right back,” she chuckled, looking away from sarah again.

sarah wrapped her arms around her, “i’m used to it.” she joked quietly, just standing there and holding y/n. y/n pulled away after a moment, smiling at sarah again.

“wheres everybody else?” referring to the pogues, sarah shrugged. 

“last i saw, jj went off being chased, kie and pope disappeared and john b.. isn’t here.” sarah said the last part with a sigh, eyes shutting momentarily before fluttering back open.

“jj?” y/n mumbled, more to herself. last she had seen of jj, they walked by each other with air so thick it would hard to be cut with a knife.

“yeah,” kie chimed in suddenly, using sarah as an armrest. “topper and rafe. i think kelce too,” she listed the people chasing the blonde, shrugging. “nothing to serious though. he probably just did something dumb and they got mad. they won’t beat him up now though.. i don’t think.”

y/n’s breath seemed to stop for a moment, breaking away from the group in a hurry. they called after her, but it seems pointless as she picked up the bottom of her dress and entered the huge building. she tripped occasionally over nothing, her breath never evening out. catching her breath outside of the bathrooms, she slid down the wall angrily. where the hell was he?

she slumped down the wall beside the bathrooms, her legs aching and telling her to stop. the door beside her swung open, revealing an old man who was seemingly very upset over the fact that boys are ‘always fighting’. this caught y/n’s attention, making her stand up quickly and slowly push the bathroom door open.

the first thing y/n heard was the sound of gasps as somebody tried to regain their breath, then she heard the voice of topper. “yeah, you like that?” he questioned in a threatening tone, and y/n watched him throw a punch as she rounded the corner. in the bathroom was topper, rafe and jj. jj’s body was limp, being held up by rafe as he got the shit beat out of him by topper. blood flew around the room, lip split and face bruising.

y/n bit the inside of her cheek, noticing rafe glance in her direction before dropping jj. “topper, lets split.” he mumbled, motioning to y/n. topper looked over, muttering something under his breath to rafe which got him to laugh.

“dont laugh, rafe, im sure your daddy wouldn't want to hear about your addiction.” y/n’s face was smug, arms crossing as she fully revealed herself. rafe’s eyes widened, grabbing toppers arm and dragging him out of the room quickly.

“this isn't over, pogue!” topper yelled as he was getting led out, the two boys scampering down the hall as fast as they could. 

y/n rolled her eyes, going over to the limp boy as careful as she could. jj was conscious, but not by much. she grabbed his arm, feeling for a pulse and letting out a small sigh of relief. she let go of his arm quickly, shaking his shoulders. “hey, wake up.” she shook him more aggressively, making the boy groan and finally open his eyes. they noticed how close they were to each other, both of their faces flushing as she scurried away from each other. the air between the two was thick, neither speaking up.

“so, what happened?” y/n questioned after a while, meeting the boys eyes. jj shrugged, sitting up and trying not to crush his ribs. he winced, hand going to his side as he leaned against the wall behind him.

“sarah said how topper ditched you and i don’t know, shitty move.” jj whispered, not even sure in the girl had heard him. y/n had confusion on her face, looking at him with her eyebrows furrowed. she cleared her throat, looking away from jj for a moment.

“you were defending me?” y/n spoke in the same, hushed tone. she felt if she spoke up, he’d get mad at her again and they wouldn’t be this.. calm.

jj shrugged, rolling his eyes. “don’t let it get to your head, princess.” his tone was cold, rubbing his eyes. his chest heaved, trying to stay at the same pace. he could barely move without feeling like his lungs were getting ripped out of his chest. “it was the least i could do,” he spoke again, head leaning back against the cold wall with his eyes closed.

“huh?” y/n looked at the position the boy was in. he looked so calm yet so uneasy at the same time. his chest was moving at an irregular pace, hand still over his rib. she noticed the boy didn’t respond, so she changed the subject. “why do you hate me?” her voice was smooth, but silent.

“i don’t. i try to, but i don’t.” jj shrugged, pulling his head back up and opening his eyes. they stared at each other in silence for a while, the only thing that could be heard was jj breathing heavily. “i’m not used to new people just.. coming in. especially kooks. they are, no offense, almost always two-faced. everybody liked you right from the start and it just… made me mad i guess.” jj rambled, tearing his eyes away from the girl and looking at the glossy shoes he wore.

y/n didn’t respond for a while, just taking in what jj said. “i never hated you.” jj spoke again once he realized y/n wasn’t going to talk. “i was just jealous. you get everything because you’re a kook, you have a good life and a big house and money and i’m stuck with.. nothing. i live, basically, in a shack. with a shitty home life.” he sighed, eyes shutting as his head leaned back against the wall.

“it’s not all that good.” y/n mumbled in a soft, quiet voice. “i mean, i have the house, and family.. but for what? i have no real friends except sarah and i can’t leave my house unless the perfect child is there. sarah’s everything i wish i was. she can leave whenever she wants, and shes gorgeous. and i just.. follow what she does. while everybody may like me they always end up.. using me. i’m never seen for who i really am.” she ranted, rubbing her temples with her hands. “and when i met the pogues i realized where i really wanted to be.”

“yeah, we’re cool like that.” jj joked, easing the air a little. y/n smiled, looking at jj.

“y’know, you’re.. funny.” y/n grinned cheesily, legs crossing. 

“oh yeah?” jj met her eyes, arm finally pulling away from his ribs.

“funny looking.” y/n sputtered out, covering her mouth as she started laughing.

jj put on a face of mock upset, looking away. “wow. now that one hurt.” he gasped, shaking his head. this made the girl laugh harder, her face turning red. jj joined in her laughter, two finally stopping minutes later and just holding eye contact.

“you’re really pretty.” jj spoke up, catching y/n off guard. she smiled softly, head tilting a little. 

“you are too.” y/n hummed, scooting a bit closer to jj. “the reason i left that day when you were talking shit about me.. it hurt. ever since i met you i’ve liked you. there’s something about you that just draws me close.” she mused, making the blonde’s face flush a little. from embarrassment of what he said that day but also because of how she felt with him.

“yeah i’m.. sorry. about that.” jj apologized, now looking away from y/n. “i don’t know what i was thinking. i think i just said that because… yeah no clue.” he grinned sheepishly, turning and facing y/n again.

jj’s eyes faltered from y/n’s eyes to lips for a moment, looking back up at the younger. they stayed silent, now sitting beside each other. when had they gotten so close? 

“have you ever kissed somebody in a bathroom?” jj wondered out loud, a smirk laid on his face.

y/n thought for a moment, “nah. i haven’t kissed anybody.. period.” she giggled, looking at jj with a look of anticipation. 

“mm, can i change that?” jj whispered, trying not to hurt himself as he moved closer. his hand wrapped around the back of y/n’s neck, pulling her close. y/n nodded, closing the small gap between them.

their stomach’s both did flips as they kissed. jj had kissed many, many people but it never felt like this. and they knew in that moment, that this wasn’t a one time thing. it would happen many times.

[sevngmin]

college!seungmin

ok so

my friend made a thread(im not able to link it as her account is private) of skz as students at my college

and then i saw another thread of skz as college students

so here i am

major: law

club: photography

used to shoot his pictures on his dslr in auto mode until he joined the photography club,,, which fellow member hyunjin scolded him for

let’s be honest,, seungmin is that one boy in your major that everyone has a crush on

(you’d better be lying if you said you never have had an eye candy/crush on him before)

he came to school once with his hair up and every girl in his class wanted to set the school on fire bc that’s not the content they signed up for

and has his hair up more often,,,

not in a bad way tho bc he takes pride in dressing up for school sometimes and when people praise him for it he gets a lil blushy and goes (*^▽^*) thankuuu!!!!

if you’re in a project group w him you’re in luck bc seungmin always is super nice to his teammates and offers to lunch over work

(and also has his hair up for presentations,,, double oof)

sPeaking about presentations there was once he was looking especially fine while presenting about criminal law

and people were sneakily snapping pics of him

poor boy got so blushy he stuttered so much :(

honestly too nice to mark people down for peer evaluation but when they’re blatantly not doing work he’d not hesitate to give them a zero

you’d wouldn’t want to see him angry too esp when he hardly gets mad

meanwhile, you on the other hand,,, not so much

you have had your fair share of shitty teammates and you couldn't take it anymore

like,, have you been too nice to people for them to tell you to “just chill” when you get mad???? for legitimate reasons???

you just don’t get it

anyway

you and seungmin are friends bc he was your classmate since freshman year

and is the only one who you are somewhat familiar with in this year’s class

tbh you never really saw seungmin as someone more bc you two are kinda close and after you know him he gets kinda dorky its cute

like yeeeeeaaaaa sometimes you inevitably have the teeny tiny crush on seungmin but its no biggie

you guys are like close?? but not rlly bc seungmin has his own group of friends and you have your own

you are close with hyunjin but that's only bc y’all are on the dance team and besides, he’s in another major

seungmin always sits beside you in classes people think you’re his gf or sumn

but the people in the same class knows y’all are not bc you were the only one who snorted(too loudly) when seungmin knocked his head on the table while falling asleep in a tutorial

all the girls wanted to murder your ass for it tbh

seungmin is kind of your therapist in a way in which he lunches with you often and listens to your rants

be it about the iced chocolate in the cafeteria being watered down too much or standing on the crowded morning bus

seungmin is always that listening ear no matter what

quote hyunjin; “you should start charging her for listening to her rant about the school’s budget for the tenth time this semester”

also you; “i should start charging you for constantly making me stay back to watch you go over that same routine and song over and over again after practice.”

touché

moving on

honestly you weren’t looking forward to this year’s class bc the people in class r rlly gossipy and known for talking shit about others

but i mean,, you’re in school to get that degree,,, and not deal w shitty people right

WRONG

when the tutor assigned groups for a group project you were thanking the high heavens that seungmin was in your team

and as the team leader

so that no free-riders go to your team

it’s the week of submissions and there’s this member that kept giving excuses for not doing her part in the group report

and hence you had to do it because her parts were closely linked to yours and without her parts, you couldn't start on yours

seungmin had to help out too bc he feels obligated to as the team leader

and also feels bad??? bc he knows how you’ve been dealing w shitty people and now its another one

you honestly just want better people tbh

so like you just really couldn’t take it and went up to her face during lesson and said,

“hey if you’re not doing work i’m asking seungmin to boot you out bc you’re not doing your work”

nd she had the audacity to say,

“i did my work???? wdym”

aka write her name on the cover page

(and even spelt it wrong smh)

you rolled your eyes and huffed,

“i’m telling seungmin to boot you out, find another team.”

she just laughs maniacally which scares you, until she regains her composure and goes

“what? has sucking seungmin’s dick gotten to your pea brain?”

(that was so crude im sorry)

and she said it so loud the rest of your classmates could hear and started murmuring amongst themselves

you were appalled at her words, speechless as you could feel your blood boiling

“i must be right huh,” she scoffs, turning her attention back to her phone, “sucking up to the pretty boy to get good grades, how low.”

you really wanted to slap the living life out of her

before you could do so, seungmin slammed his hand on the table, shocking everyone

“you’re the one to speak, who did nothing but to put her name on the cover page of the report, and to the point of spelling it wrong,” seungmin seethed, which made you honestly scared of him

he stood up with his laptop and cancelled her name in front of her eyes, then pushing you behind him, “as of now, you are not part of our group. if i ever hear you bothering any of my groupmates, i will not hesitate to report this to the course head. i hope i made myself clear enough.”

you could see the fear in everyone’s eyes, as it was the first time that they saw him genuinely get really really mad at someone

the girl ran out of class crying, as you slumped in your seat, mind still unable to wrap around how she was so rude to you, hands visibly shaking

“are you okay?” seungmin asked, eyes now dripped with worry, contrary to his anger-filled eyes just moments ago

“yeah, i guess.” you bit your lip, opening up your laptop, “thanks, for standing up for me.”

“a frown doesn’t look good on you,” seungmin commented, “just smile now, hmm? it’s all over, and you don’t have to deal with her again.”

you look over at seungmin, whose brown eyes were still staring at you

you gulped, crimson tinting your cheeks as you looked away and faked a smile,

“yeah yeah, thank you for saving me, prince seungmin.” you teased to hide the blush on your cheeks

and weirdly after this incident seungmin has been kinda protective over you???

like offering to drive you to school

eating lunch with you more often

offering to drive you back home

basically sticking to you the whole time in school

not that you were complaining, seungmin has even been more affectionate?? kinda

sending you good morning and goodnight texts

smiling more often around you and laughing at your lame jokes,,, when normally he would just stone at them

to the point when your friends started asking if you and seungmin were dating,,, bc he just stuck by you almost every breathing second you’re out of your house

you had to keep telling them no until one day,,,,,, you confronted seungmin

as soon as you got into seungmin’s car, you asked,

“why are you doing this?”

“doing what?” seungmin laughs, stopping at a red light

“this.” you deadpanned, “driving me to school, driving me back, being so close to me, everything. we’re not dating or in a relationship either, so why?”

seungmin turned to you, looks at you dead in the eye and presses a kiss to your forehead, which brings heat to your cheeks

“you’re awfully dense for a law student, aren’t you?” he smiles, diverting his attention back on the road, “if that didn’t make it obvious already, that i like you.”

“h-how can you say that so casually?” you stuttered, burying your cheeks in your hands, “that’s not sincere enough.”

seungmin stops at another red light, then presses a kiss to your lips, and you were pretty sure your cheeks were hot enough to cook eggs on them

“is that better?” seungmin bit his lip, obviously shy at what he just did skskskskskskks

and you do say yes

cute

when he tries to be smooth and all but his face just gives his inner emotions away

you turn up in school holding seungmin’s hands from then on

and all the girls cried for a week straight

[ethereal-moon-child]

Prophetic Dreams

Since I’m on the topic of sharing my experiences with stuff, I think I’m also gonna share the small handful of prophetic dreams I’ve had. Most of my prophetic dreams have to do with relationships I had with people, romantic or otherwise.

As a child I got DeJaVu a lot, and being raised christian (agnostic now) I believed that I had the gift of Sight at a really young age (like, 6 or w/e). However, I didn’t start having prophetic dreams (that I can remember) until I was in 9th grade. I had one shortly after I started dating my first boyfriend, and by shortly I mean like, 2 days after lol. I dreamt that his friends were mocking him for being with me, and that he broke up with me because of it. I woke up sobbing after I had that dream and called him the next day about it. He reassured me that wouldn’t happen, he’d never do that. But only a week later it did. He turned out to be gay, and I hadn’t known so we’re still really close friends! But that was the first case of my prophetic dreams

My next prophetic dream was about another boyfriend of mine, I think a year later who also didn’t last long lmao. After having had that dream of my first boyfriend, having another break up dream shook me up but not nearly as badly. I can’t remember the dream itself very well anymore, but I remember texting him about it while at school the next day and we pretty much broke up on the spot because he said “Well it’s bound to happen sooner or later anyways, right?”. Apparently he’d only been using me to occupy his time until he went off to college lol

This next one was my most recent prophetic dream (and by recent I mean 2017) and it was the most intense, as it wound up predicting my suicide attempts only a couple months later. It was in May, only a week or two before I was planning on driving out of state to pick up a really close friend (think Moirail level close for those of you who know of homestuck). My dream consisted of her arriving, freaking out shortly after, then bailing on me. It left me sobbing in the dream and at one point I stopped breathing, both in the dream, and in real life, which is what woke me up.

Here are screenshots of the message I sent her later about the dream, concerned it may be prophetic as I don’t have dreams this clear and intense normally and the timing was suspicious.

Both she and my gf reassured me that it was likely just a stress dream and that things would be fine, and they did indeed start out ok.

Things were ok for the first month she was here, but quickly spiraled in the month following. Her presence caused an extreme amount of stress on me and my relationship with my gf and lead to us taking a break and her moving out temporarily after I made 2 separate attempts to end my life (this former friend had convinced her to do so while I was in the hospital).

Long story short, my dream had come true, and was backed up with the tarot reading for that last month in August being one of loss.

[grapefruitguan-blog]

Fight!AU (Park Woojin)

- woojin was preparing for his comeback

- and they were asking a lot of time from him

- so he was coming home rlly late and leaving rlly early in the morning

- and you were supportive n he was really appreciative

- but it happened for about two weeks

- two weeks of you making dinner and watching it get cold and waking up to him and a quick kiss saying he loves you but he’s gotta go

- but you had ur last straw when he didn’t even come home on your birthday

- he actually forgot

- this time you didn’t fall asleep

- bc woojin promised to spend the day with you

- you were actually heartbroken

- he came back at 1:30 am rlly surprised you were up

- he had a terrible day daniel n the others couldn’t get the choreo down and the producer blamed him

- “babe? shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

- you didn’t answer him

- and had a small bitter smile

- “yeah. i should be. i shouldn’t have waited for you.”

- now woojin never ever snaps

- but today he was in the worst mood

- ever

- “jeez, what’s with you today?”

- and now you snapped

- “woojin, you should know what’s up with me today i’ve waited for you for now two weeks every single fucking day”

- “babe i know i’m sorry it’s just they’ve wanted a lot out of us-“

- “yeah. you want a lot of of me to wait for you. i know that. what do you think i have done?”

- “y/n i know it’s just the fans-“

- “it’s always the fans woojin, always.”

- “because they care about us. we just won at mama i don’t want to lose that streak. why can’t you understand that?”

- “woojin. i’ve been the most fucking understanding of that. i didn’t question you for shit about scandals when i sure could’ve and i always helped you when you felt stressed-“

- “people care about us, y/n. we have fans. they’re there for us.”

- oh god woojin really fucked it up now

- a small silence occurred when woojin’s eyes widened with what he said

- “babe-“

- “save it woojin.”

- “no i didn’t mean-“

- “no, i get it. i don’t have fans because i’m not an idol, so i wouldn’t get it. people care about you and the boys and not really about me. hell, they want me gone since i’m dating their bias. go date fucking lisa from blackpink or something, then!”

- “no that isn’t-“

- “save it. i’m leaving. maybe you’ll someday realize why i’m so fucking pissed after waiting for you for so damn long.”

- you walk out and slam the door

- “fine be that way!” yelled woojin

- he went to your guys’ now empty bed angry as hell

- he almost threw the picture of you two on the ground but hesitated

- you drove over to your bff’s house and slept for the night

- in the morning woojin went to practice

- and he was on snapchat

- and noticed your streak had an hourglass

- he sent you a black screen and you instantly left him on open

- he groaned

- and rolled his eyes

- and he was viewing his stories and saw daehwi’s

- it was a selfie

- “happy late birthday y/n!!!”

- woojin dropped

- wait

- it was your birthday yesterday???

- holy fuck he promised to spend the day with you

- he didn’t even get you an xmas gift cause you said that’s all you wanted

- holy fuck

- he stormed into practice

- “daehwi!!!!”

- daehwi was eating a croissant

- “woojin!!! you almost made me drop my croissant!!!”

- “dumbass bitch!!! why didn’t you tell me it was my gf’s birthday yesterday!!!!!”

- “woojin sweetie you were supposed to know this”

- “i remembered!” piped daniel holding his story too

- “shut up mr center i hope your cats die”

- “heY”

- jisung aka mom runs over

- “dUmbAsS KIDS STOP FIGHTING”

- daehwi rubbed his temples

- “y/n is soooo mad at you woojin”

- “she’s so supportive of your snaggletooth headass and you don’t see that”

- “hIs EYES ARE TOO SMALL TO SEE THAT”

- “shUT UP ONG NOBODY CARES MR I’M-28-TRYING-TO-DEBUT”

- “shUT UP YOU MAKNAE I WAS Y/N’S BIAS NOT YOURS”

- jisung blows the whistle n stops ong and woojin from fighting

- “DuMBASS WOOJIN for foRGETTING Y/N’s BDAY I’M NOT MAKING YOU FUCKIN RAMEN FOR A MONTH”

- jisung sighed

- “y/n rlly never let you see her frustrated bc you’d come home late as hell n she would always rant to me and daehwi about it and she went to (bff)’s house all night and cried”

- “how was i supposed to know!!!”

- “duMBASS biTCH I am Her SECOND COUSIN and you arE HER bOyfrieND anD I COULD TELL SHE WAS UNhAPPY BUT you COULDN’T????”

- “he has a point snaggletooth headass”

- “shut up four foot chode nobody cares sungwoon”

- “LISTEN BO-“

- “gUys shUT UP” yelled jisung

- “woojin go make up with her your dumbass fucKED UP”

- “big time!” chorused daniel holding his two cats

- woojin facepalmed

- “guys what the hell do i do i rlly did fuck up i was just so caught up on the choreo-“

- “dumbass dance machine”

- “shUT UP CAT PEDOPHILE I’M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT”

- jisung blows his mom whistle again

- “gUYS ENOUGH FIGHTING”

- “luckily bc i’m so old and wise i have a damn plan”

- so all 11 boys shut up and crowd around

- “here’s what we are finna do bitches”

- “jisung sweetie pls don’t say finna it’s improper”

- “sorry minhyun”

- you’re at your bff’s house

- you were throwing dart’s at a pic of woojin

- until she knocks on ur door

- “hey y/n someone’s here to see you”

- “if it’s woojin i swear to-“

- “oH HI DAEHWI”

- “HI BESTIE IM HERE BITCH I GOT YOU STUFF FOR YOUR BDAY”

- “aw THANKS BITCH I SAW YOUR STORY”

- “yeAh SORRY BITCH I WAS AT PRACTICE AKDJKSD I PROMISE WE CAN EAT CHICKEN N WAFFLES SOON THO”

- “david lee ur so white”

- “i was born in LA headass”

- daehwi hands you a wrapped gift

- you coo

- “YOU REALLY ARE MY BESTIE”

- bff walks in

- “wtf y/n who’s house are you in”

- “lOVE YOU TOO (BFF’s NAME)”

- daehwi clears throat

- “anyways so”

- “get dressed”

- “we’re hanging out”

- “stop simping over the snaggletooth headass”

- “i wAS NO-“

- “bitch shut up ur listening to butterfly and spring day by bts and you’re really telling me you aren’t simping????”

- ok daehwi got you there

- so you kicked him outta ur friend’s room

- and you get dressed

- no details bc this isn’t smut

- yET

- hAHAHAHA

- anyways after twenty minutes you step out

- daehwi huffs

- “see this hair? i didn’t dye it white. it turned white waiting for your slowpoke ass”

- “shut up daehwi last time i checked i waited for you for two hours when you bumped into iu”

- “iU nOONA IS mOre IMPoRTANT”

- anyways

- daehwi flashes his signature grin

- “oK go to the living room”

- “daehwi i thought we were going out??”

- “yes going out of the room duh”

- “yOU lITTLE SHIT YOU MADE ME PUT MAKEUP FOR NOTHING WHEN IM STAYING INSIDE???”

- “y/n if you think i have money to treat you out for a day you really must be tripping”

- “daehwi stfu you deadass have tons of money after debuting don’t play with me”

- daehwi shoves you into the room anyways

- and your jaws drop

- and there you see the living room decorated

- with your favorite foods on the coffee table

- and presents

- and a chocolate cake

- and the other boys there

- besides woojin

- so daniel’s cats could be at ur bday and not your boyfriend? ok

- “HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N”

- “we’re really sorry we couldn’t celebrate with you on your actual birthday so we tried to make up for it” smiles jisung

- you almost broke down in tears

- because THAT IS SO SWEET

- “aw thanks guys i love you so much”

- “even if woojin hates me enough to not even want to celebrate my bday LOL it’s okay.”

- guanlin awkwardly coughed

- “uh look behind you”

- lo and behold

- park woojin is behind you holding 10 bouquets of red roses

- bby boy is almost falling bc he carried all of them

- you’re kind of taken aback

- because who wouldn’t be??

- “i’m sorry that i couldn’t wish you happy birthday with them i had to run to like five florists cause turns out everyone ran out of red roses”

- he hands you one bouquet and other boys scramble to help him

- “i’m really sorry that i fucked up and forgot that it was your birthday it was honestly such a dick move of me-“

- “HE ALSO CALLED ME A FOUR FOOT CHODE”

- “shUT UP SUNGWOON”

- “and i really took you for granted and i feel terrible because i need to remember that they’re fans, and though i’m in their hearts..you’re in mine. i’m scared of losing you because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and i promise i never ever forgot about that”

- “and like roses are what i gave you on our first date and i know they can’t do too much to make you forgive me but i remembered you love them and you honestly deserve the world”

- and woojin has tears in his eyes and takes one hand and tries to wipe his tears and now he’s blubbering

- “i totally understand if you hate me and wanna break up i support your decision either way i’m so so sorry for being such a dick-“

- SEEING WOOJIN BAWL WAS TOO MUCH SO YOU JUST KISSED HIM

- he was shocked at first but he leaned down just a little bit

- “idiot i forgive you”

- “w-wait really”

- “BITCH YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REJECT HIM”

- “shUT UP DAEHWI”

- “nO YOU SHUT YOU COYOTE LOOKING ASS I BET $10.00 ON THIS WITH ONG”

- before woojin went to go fight daehwi you laughed

- and he looked at you with a small smile

- ft his little snaggletooth

- and daniel brings out the cake and they start singing

- BUT then woojin’s eyes shoot up

- “wAIT DONT START I FORGOT SOMETHING”

- he hands you the roses and grabs a little box out of his pocket

- “here open it”

- “woojin we’re too young to get married-“

- “nonONONO NOT THAT NOT THAT”

- he turns bright red

- “i-i mean not like i don’t wanna m-marry you i-it’s just”

- you open it

- it’s a promise ring!!! the one that you told woojin how pretty it was two months ago!!!!

- “woojin!!!! this is really expensive you know i was like kidding right!!!!”

- “well like you deserve the world so i’m trying to give it to you”

- “and like it’s my promise to you to never treat you less than perfect”

- “and that i promise to put you before my career”

- all the boys coo

- and daniel is huffing bc the cake is rlly heavy and he wants to goddamn sing already so he can set it down

- so you sing!

- and all is well!

- and woojin puts an arm around your waist and kisses your forehead

- “happy late birthday babe, i love you.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: How's the damage looking in the cold light of day, babe? Ali: Want me to put a hex on her? Carly: yea Carly: didnt remember her going hard but feel it now Ali: 😤 Why'd she have to turn up just to pull up Ali: Got actual issues that one, like Ali: I'll work on something particularly wicked whilst we waiting for karma to smack her one Ali: is you okay boo? Carly: dont need to eye her bf i kno hes not special Carly: fucked some of his mates but not him Carly: you kno made the hanging feel more drastic Ali: Right? Even she don't reckon him that Ali: Just herself, like 🙄 Ali: I'll make you a remedy whilst I'm at it, like Carly: youre too cute to handle this early Ali: Well, lost major points not defending your honour from the ginja ninja last night so Ali: gotta claw it back, ain't I Carly: cant fuck you if youre in prison Ali: Truuuu, ain't my prison wife, this the real deal Ali: did you spot any talent tho? before she tried to claw ur eyes out Carly: nah Carly: you? Ali: caleb cavante was there Ali: he's so fine Ali: but so was his gf so meh, appreciated the view but no more than that Ali: too busy dancing w my main lady of course 😍 Carly: who was he w other than his bf Carly: in love as hard as we Ali: Ain't that the truth 😂 Ali: only got eyes for each other boys, don't front Ali: cute Carly: hes got eyes for me too Carly: 4some? Ali: Yeah? Nice Ali: Not even jealous, get you some wifey Ali: bit of a knob but not as bad as some Ali: I think they're like brothers tho babe??? awks 😂 Ali: otherwise, hell yeah Carly: my bad Carly: spoke to your gf today? Ali: Not yet Ali: She's sulking still Carly: if she wants to take a swing she knows where i am Ali: 😬 your beautiful face, noooooo Ali: she only mad at me anyway, catch us in prison, can't escape each other then, like 😏 Carly joined the chat 2 hours ago Carly: only working to get you to kiss it better tho Carly: could be her way of dumping you w out doing it Carly: sorry Ali: ha, good luck, honey Ali: don't she know I stick like glue? Ali: I'll roll up with all the arrogance of a bitch who's man ain't shit, like Carly: ill let her kno how loyal you are Carly: too bad its only to me like Ali: 🙊 Ali: don't, confirming her argument lowkey Carly: sorry Carly: anything i can do for real Ali: nah 💋 Ali: its sweet, i just gotta stop hiding and tell her how it is Ali: but i'm hiding 'til my head feels better, facts babe Carly: ill whisper Carly: fun tho Carly: w the assault & everything Ali: yeah, what's a decent party without a scrap Ali: tho if my boo gotta be involved imma haffta teach you a few moves, yeah? Carly: im not trying to kiss her while she kills me bitch Carly: whats a sweet girl like you gonna tell me Ali: i know, i'm a lover not a fighter by nature but i'm tough as fuck Ali: trust 🥊 Ali: show you when ur feeling better tho Carly: yea? Carly: aw you gonna protect me Carly: my da will be thrilled Ali: 'Course Ali: let him know just 'cos there's no bloke, can still fuck up the competition and co Carly: we could be renewing our vows at the kitchen table and he wouldnt know it was going on Carly: hes that bloke behind a fucking big newspaper who nods Carly: my ma's the mouth Ali: You're dead good with words Ali: fully got the picture there, like a film or some shit Carly: my life inspoing hollywood, bitch Carly: facts Ali: fr tho Ali: leading lady material defs Carly: you just want that roll credits kiss Carly: come get it any time Ali: only if there's an audience, yeah Carly: aw Carly: you want me all to yourself babe Ali: 🖕 Ali: lose any queer cred I've got if I fuck a straight girl purely for male gaze Ali: hmu when ur feeling it babe 😉 Carly: im always feeling you Carly: honeymoon period not over Ali: 😳😌 Ali: when ur living the bit so hard you can't tell where it ends no more Carly: you want me you got me Carly: thats how it go when you put a ring on it Ali: okay Ali: imma rock ur world then Carly: yea? Carly: good confidence babe Ali: deserved 💪 Carly: ill let you kno if i agree after you hit it Ali: go for it Ali: love ur brutal honesty and I've not got a fuckboy fragile ego like u used to Carly: yea true Carly: whats that like Carly: weird Ali: highly recommend Ali: love knowing what i'm worth 💎 Carly: gotta recommend being treated as a skank Ali: like all the time or in the bedroom 🤔 Carly: interchangeable when you're dtf constant Ali: Oh, babe Ali: you're a princess too tho, you can be both Carly: never been this complimented Ali: You gotta be knowing Ali: all about the balance Carly: aw Carly: what you doing today Ali: Gotta take my lil bro to the park or some shit Ali: he's already driving the 'rents mental Ali: come with? might get u both a 🍦 if you behave Carly: you want me round your littlest bro serious ? Ali: you won't sound so shocked when you meet him Ali: little 💩 Ali: but a laugh, you'll like him Carly: i been in a bitch fight & look it Carly: thinking of him Ali: Fair, if you wanna hide behind your biggest sunnies today and chill, I don't blame ya Ali: he'll think its cool tho, swap war stories with him Carly: im down to come Carly: just making sure you want it Ali: You wanna hear me say your my fave again? Ali: cute 💋 Carly: you kno Ali: swing by when i can convince him to put some clothes on Ali: feeling like a hypocrite lowkey Carly: k Carly: catch me outside trying to clear my head Carly: low key your fault for that image Ali: 😏 i'll take it even though i know its all about last night Ali: get ready to swoon tho 'cos its way too hot for normal clothes, but I do insist on at least partially covering our junk, lil rock Carly: 😍 Ali: you'll be proud, whored it up on my story and everything Carly: I saw and I was Ali: Mission accomplished then yo Carly: your hair is cute Carly: cute isnt the word for that yoga outfit tho Ali: 😘 aww, thanks babe! i was feeling it Ali: you gon' take me up on my yoga offer now? 😉 Ali: show u how flexible i am Carly: might do Carly: not just chat Carly: impressive wouldnt it be Ali: 👏 Ali: never doubted you, babe Carly: catch me in a baby class until i catch up Ali: nah, ask anyone, I'm a great teacher gurl! Ali: and you can be my pet 😻 Carly: aw Carly: you're getting so creative w these dates too Ali: gotta keep it fresh Carly: 💋

[argaliaofficial]

i started typing this earlier but then had to go to work so now im just gonna finish it so i get it off my chest

back when i was with my first ex, meg, we went to this private christian school i prolly made a post about this on here before but its topical right now i didnt sleep at all and im tired enough to spill my fucking guts out some more 

so anyway we went to this private christian school and thats when it happened. ive honestly repressed a lot of my time there i was not doing great but what i do remember just makes me feel sick. like, meg aside, the school just sucked. 

for context the way it was set up was that we had “placement tests” to see where we were in subjects like math and english, and however we did made us get placed in PACEs according to our skill level. in theory this is fine i suppose, but the thing was that there were no alternatives to the PACEs. 

PACEs were part of the learning curriculum of our school which was ACE- Accelerated Christian Learning. they were basically little study pamphlets that went over instructions on how to learn certain subjects and whatnot, while also having a christian perspective on things. scripture verses were abundent in them, and they had like a continuous series of comics going in there about their character Ace Virtuson and friends. 

Along with the PACEs, the classrooms were set up like an “office” of sorts with cubicles that you sat in. For me honestly that was one of the many hells because it was so cramping and clinical and I just do not learn well in that sort of environment. so you’d sit quietly for like 8 hours a day with occassional breaks with nothing but your PACE pamphlets to work on. you couldnt speak to any body, and if you needed help, there was a flag system in place where you’d put a flag up and have to sit around and wait for a teacher to come assist you, and usually their assistance only lasted briefly because theres countless OTHER students to get to, and nepotism is a thing and if they dont like you or think of you as a problem kid, you’re less likely to get the aid you need.

i was one of those problem kids. 

early on, i could manage that set up when my work was easier, but when i hit “high school age” and got into more advance work i began to suffer horribly. it didnt help that at this time, i got with meg, but less about her right now and more about how this school system fucking failed me and others tbh 

i do not learn by reading information. at least, i dont retain it. i need to discuss with people, with my peers and professors. i need one on one sometimes, especially with math- my biggest struggle. but how the school was set up made that sort of learning almost impossible. your peers were all at different levels, so group discussion was rare. their were attempts, but they never lasted long, and the extent of the help basically surmounted to the teachers just reading what the PACEs already said and vaguely explaining more, and that blew. 

so, me, being a hands on group learner who has to talk and listen to even retain information and needs to be allowed to move around often instead of being cramped up, started to fall behind in my studies. badly. and of course, instead of the teachers trying to asses WHY it was you were falling behind, you got written up and had to have your parents sign a slip. you could get written up for a few things and these were always detentions of sorts. usually they were lunch but if you were bad enough you’d get an after school one. i accumulated these almost once a day and after a while i got tired of having my parents sign them EVERY SINGLE day and just forged their signatures. i got away with that like 75% of the time lol 

like they were just for the same shit ‘oh ur kid didnt do their homework blah blah ur kids out of dress code blah blah” and so i was just “whatever” because like... nothing seemed to change i was just being perpetually punished for being unable to keep up in my studies. my parents tried to get a math tutor for me but halfway thru i think freshman year she moved and that was that

i got so fucking sick of just being behind while my other peers seemed to be moving forward that i started bullshitting my work just to get thru. ofc that didnt do anything because i wasnt learning the work, and because i lied about my answers and cheated i got punished again. and i was just like “whatever” 

i cried all the time. parent teacher conferences were hell. i always cried. it felt like i couldnt convey to them why i was such a fuckup. like i wasnt making sense, or i was being overemotional. instead of trying to make changes they just talked about how i had to work harder. least i think. i’ll be honest i always just disassociated during those meetings before going into meltdown mode.

on top of that, i was in a “gay” relationship with a classmate, and lots of bad stuff happened. ive always had an overactive imagination. great for being a wannabe artist. not so great when youre already an easily manipulated undiagnosed autistic child. me, her, and my current gf actually had our own little world! thinking back on this now, for me at least it was escapism to try and just cope with how miserable i was at school 

i dont know how soon in the “relationship” it was before things got sexual. my concept of time during those years at foursquare is so scattered. according to posts ive seen on dA me and her were together or at least “friends” for 2 years? so actually i think my saying “freshman year in high school” is inaccurate and things got bad the tail end of middle school and continued until i was a sophomore before switching schools.

ANYWAY, so yeah, along with all this school nonsense, i was in a gay relationship, one that was abusive in many aspects. ofc at the time i didnt know that i was being abused! i just thought yknow her forcing herself into me sexually was kinda par the course and i was already kinda a sexually curious kid growing up so like.. i was looking for that i guess? it hurting cuz she went in dry is just to be expected, yadda yadda. pretty sure i cried? and i know for a fact that i still sleep in the room where she raped me like that and its sometimes just “yea i was literally right in that spot when i was raped lol”

and she would constantly want me to touch her sexually too, and when i said “no” and pulled my hand away that she had been trying to force down her pants because i wasnt personally ready to do that she’d always complain and make me feel bad cuz i wasnt comfortable touching her. “i always get you off but you never get me off!” 

and at the time i didnt just tell her to fuck off cuz i didnt know any better. i didnt know that it was ok for me to not be ready to do that. i thought i was a bad person for not being ready to pleasure my partner, even tho its not my fault if shes ok w/ pleasuring me, and im ok with being pleasured (even tho tbh it was hit or miss sometimes she just did it lol), but im not ready to touch her, i guess? and like i tried to communicate with her and im pretty sure i told her that if she didnt wanna jerk me off cuz i couldnt do it to her yet that was fine but whatever

on the fourth of july she started groping me out in public while we watched the fireworks and i remember trying to get her to stop cuz i wasnt comfy with doing this in public cuz a) this was years ago and homophobia was a lot more common especially in this boonies town and b) i dont like seeing other couples being handsy in public so i dont want to be handsy in public either

and i remember while shes groping my chest and im trying to get her to stop theres this group of older kids in front of us and they see. and they start snickering. they started snickering at the sight. and i was so mortified and wanted to die.

looking back those kids should get hit by a fucking bus for laughing at someone getting molested and being obviously uncomfortable with it but i guess its funny cuz “lesbians! haha look at that pervy lesbo touching that other lesbian!”

and thats the story of why every fourth of july i want to kill myself

things kept progressing, ofc. i remember one night, while we were camping, i finally caved and fingered her. i forced myself to think “yeah ok i can do this” and i just thought the crippling anxiety i felt was cuz i was nervous to be intimate with my girlfriend for the first time like this, but really i was probably scared she was gonna hurt me since by that point she had. she had made herself perfectly clear in her mannerisms and tone of voice that she was stronger and bigger than me and could hurt me. 

and a few occasions she did. one time she started choking me so badly that i honestly thought “oh my god, shes going to kill me here at school”. i still sometimes feel her nails digging into my throat, and i dont think ive ever been as terrified in my life as i was in that moment. i dont think she would have stopped had a teacher not intervened. 

there was only one time i ever hit her, and that was before school started, and i had finally lost my shit over how much she kept fucking with me. all i remember was i came to school angry at her. over what i dont remember. she was always toying with my emotions, and i think that it had built up over the time that i finally snapped walked into class before school started, walked over to where she and alyss were talking, and a slapped her across the face before i walked over to my desk

i dont think i got in trouble for that cuz no one snitched? idk i mightve, but i didnt care. i was angry at her, angry at the school, and suicidal. 

i remember one time during a break i was crying. a teacher from another class came up to me and asked what was wrong. i told her i wanted to die. she just looked at me all uncomfortable. i think she mightve said something before walking off?

nothing came of that. 

i was more worried that i would get in trouble for being in a gay relationship than as apposed to thinking that these teachers- people who are supposed to protect their students- would help me. i gave up on them even recognizing the signs of me being abused. i feel like they wouldnt have even taken it as seriously as we were both “girls”, and this was back before talk of how women can be abusive was more common place. abuse was still strictly seen as male on female violence. and to some people, gay violence was comedic. 

eventually, one night, it all came to light. at least, that she and i were sexually involved. that week was a blur. she was taken out of school. it was brushed under the rug. everyone trying to save face i guess and keep other kids from finding out, but somehow i always felt like they knew. they knew that she was taken out of school because of me. because we were gay

i tried to move on, but my studies never got better. i just grew more jaded. i never did any work. i mouthed off to the teachers, continued getting detentions and just plainly stopped caring. no one could get me to do anything. i would play hooky. 

and that was just.... my life. perpetual anger at a system that failed me spectacularly. to this day i still hate that place. i cant be there. i was groped and molested and it was treated like nothing

so yeah

thanks for listening to my ted talks

[dalish-empress]

anyway men need 2 sort out their fucking personal issue n trauma before they try n engage women in any kind of relation lol. sort out your fucking life before u try n date!! 

ffs sort out ur goddamn mommy n commitment issues before u start talking abt moving in 2gether, just for u 2 realize u got too many issues 2 be a dependent partner, n then not even having the balls 2 admit it??? like i spent MONTHS trying 2 get this fucking relationship 2 work while he just withdrew more n more, n like?? he asked for a 2nd chance, n he cant even fucking try when it gets hard. grow a fucking pair n grow the fucking up. my ex has the emotional maturity of a fucking WALNUT. like he cant even see the same friends for too long, then he needs a break. why the fuck did he think he was even ready for a relationship??? i was the one who thought we should take it easy, bcs u know, I've been in therapy for 7 years, i know i got issues n i wanted 2 be sure i was ready n that my daddy n commitment issues n all the other issues didn’t get in the way. do men have the fucking ability 2 be critical of themselves n m maybe idk be like “oh hey i have trouble w forming close bonds, maybe i should work on that before i engage in a romantic relationship”???? no they fucking don’t. i dont regret our relationship, bcs i did learn a lot lol, n i especially learned that i am worthy of love n dedication, n that i can in fact be happy n healthy in a relationship. but man am i still pissed at this dude. bcs especially bcs i brought up that we should probably take a break from sleeping 2gether, until we’re both more ok(anyway he fucked someone at a party last night, n since it made me upset, i know im not over him). n what does he say??? oh well hes not rlly sure we can see each other then, bcs hes not redy for us 2 just be platonic. n that we cant hang out one on one anymore, bcs that would nhurt too much. also in the future. n im like?? dude what the fuck. if u want an actual friendship, u gotta accept that at some point we will move on n start relationships w new ppl?? n i wanna get in front of that so we have figured out how we’re gonna be platonic friends now, n not then, so its less drama n hurt. n his like “oh i thought we we’re just gonna figure that out in the future”. oh right E, like when i started seeing that guy from my class n suddenly u wanted a second chance bcs u just couldn't imagine life w/o me or me moving on LMFAO. no fucking way. he does not get 2 have all the fun n easy things from our relationship, w/o working for it lol. im fine w fwb but it only works if there’s clear rules n an ACTUAL friendship. n it doesnt work if u got feelings for each other!!! i know im his first real GF n real first FWB but like?? im not his fucking mother n im not patient enough anymore 2 hold his fucking hand through this. i thought we were friends for real, but it appears that thats gonna be hard since he’s had the hots for me since we first met. n rn hes only used 2 meet me in a platonic way in groups. n like i know sex was a big part of our relationship, but i sure do hope he thought there was more too lmao. bcs i actually wanna be friends. like his issues w being n close n opening op is a pain in the ass, but like my other closest friends got issues too. i can accept this bcs he means a lot 2 me n i thought of him as a good friend, even before we started dating. but rn im at a point, were im like.. if he doesn't fix his shit soon im OUT. at least for a while. bcs im not gonna be stuck in the past. either we fix our shit so we can move on, or he gotta laern the hard way that u gotta work more 2 keep ppl in ur life lol. anyway i tore him a new one 2day n i think he listened 2 some of it. so yeah, anyway, men fix ur emotional issues before u try 2 date, thnx. 

[mylovingbouquetearthquakewo-blog]

What company offers the cheapest insurance?

"What company offers the cheapest insurance?

I am looking to buy an insurance policy for my car. It is a 1999 Mercury cougar, I have a perfect driving record, and I am an honor roll student at the University i attend. I drive the car about 20 miles weekly, so i'm looking for something ultra cheap. Something to get quotes online with the otion to purchase online is preferred, as i live in a small town with not many insurance companies available. Cheapest car insurance rate wins! PS I want state minimum insurance.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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On medical insurance?

I want to get medical insurance but have no idea where to start or what to even look for. My employer offers medical insurance, which I don't qualify for yet, but want to look into other plans before making a decision. Can I get some links so I can educate myself on this, or can I get some suggestions or information from you guys? Thanks""

""Used Car, How Much Insurance?""

How much would I have to pay for insurance on a 1998 Nissan Sentra for $1,495? How much are taxes in Canada? 13%?""

Car/insurance sixteen yo?

I'm sixteen and I'm thinking about this car: http://www.autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?ct=u&car_id=296014776&dealer_id=100012676&car_year=2002&systime=&doors=&model=&search_lang=en&start_year=1981&keywordsfyc=&keywordsrep=&scarid=296515424&highlightFirstMakeModel=&search_type=both&distance=25&min_price=&rdm=1303705998432&drive=&marketZipError=false&advanced=&fuel=&keywords_display=&lastBeginningStartYear=1981&end_year=2012&showZipError=y&make2=&certified=&engine=&page_location=findacar%3A%3Aispsearchform&body_code=0&transmission=&default_sort=priceDESC&max_mileage=&color=&address=72076&sort_type=priceDESC&max_price=&awsp=false&make=AUDI&seller_type=b&num_records=25&cardist=22&standard=false How much do you think it would cost a month for insurance? I'll have a job and my parents have offered to pay a lil each month and help me out. Sorry, I'm completely new to all this and I just need a ballpark estimate.""

In texas can they deny u car insurance?

I got a new car today and my bf got a ticket in my old car today. I heard if u have an unpaid ticket than I cant get car insurance on my new car... Is tht tru

CAR INSURANCE question?

Ive just been made a fiance manager at work and my car insurance has gone down in price ! Can anybody tell me what kind of jobs make your car insurance reduced in price and why ?

Best health insurance for grad students?

My fiancee and I are both graduate students and are looking to get health insurance in the next 6 months. The health insurance plan of the university we attend is terrible. Does anyone know any tips on finding a good health insurance company/plan? I don't even know where to begin! Thanks!

How much trouble would I get into if I drove my car without any plates or insurance?

My other cars engine blew out and I was just going to put that cars plate onto my other one (which doesn't have any plates or insurance) I live in MI..Im pretty sure its not a felony, the other one was registered to me until i transfered the plates and insurance onto the car thats engine blew.""

Investments and Life insurances with Zurich International?

I am thinking of taking some investments and insurance policies with Zurich International. Has anybody had any dealings with them? And, if so, has your experience and dealings with them been positive or negative? Are they as good as they say they are?""

Insurance Prices?

Boy I did'nt know it was so expensive what company has affordable insurance for used cars. Or new I don't know what im getting yet.

Car insurance after drink driving ban.?

hi, i was banned for 18month for drink driving when i was 16 ( i know very stupid) i am now 25 years old soon to pass my test how high will my car insurance be what would be the best, cheapest car for insurance, please constructive answers I know drink driving is VERY BAD i was 16 and very stupid, thanks for any answers.""

Do I need rental car insurance?

I'm going to be renting/leasing a car from Avis for around 6 months while traveling for work. Will my current auto insurance be enough or should I take out a separate policy on the rental car itself? I really can't afford to take the insurance from Avis so I'm trying to find the next best option that will keep me well protected on the road.

""I want to insure my trike,anybody know a good and cheap insurance company....thanks!!..?""

I want to insure my trike,anybody know a good and cheap insurance company....thanks!!..?""

Where can I get car insurance in Colorado (during the wildfires)?

I applied for auto insurance today and got the message, We Are Unable to Complete Your Request. Coverage is not available in your location because of a natural disaster or other emergency situation. I just bought a new car and now I can't drive it until these stupid fires go out, but I still have to go to work, still have to go to the grocery store, etc So what am I supposed to do? My daily life has not changed from the fire, and I need to be able to drive!!""

Can I pay a AAA Auto Insurance bill online?

I'm in California but I don't know if that makes any diffrence.

Why is my motorbike coming up wrong on insurance quotes ?

I Have a Gilera Runner VX 125cc, When i go onto gocompare & all other insurance websites it asks for my reg & when i put it in and select vehicle its coming up as a VXR 180cc, when i go on to HPI its 125cc & on my logbook its 125 could anyone explain why this is happening ? thanks for your time.""

What company offers the cheapest insurance?

I am looking to buy an insurance policy for my car. It is a 1999 Mercury cougar, I have a perfect driving record, and I am an honor roll student at the University i attend. I drive the car about 20 miles weekly, so i'm looking for something ultra cheap. Something to get quotes online with the otion to purchase online is preferred, as i live in a small town with not many insurance companies available. Cheapest car insurance rate wins! PS I want state minimum insurance.

Obama is guaranteeing affordable health care for the uninsured?

So far they don't have any proposals to lower the cost of health care. So he must be saying the government will be picking up the tap to make health insurance affordable for all of the low income, no income, the elderly, & the uninsurable. This will be a staggering amount of money. Do you trust him to pull this off?""

What amount is considered low deductible for health insurance? what is a high amount?

what amount is considered a low amount for health insurance? what is considered a high amount?

Is Landlords insurance much higher than homeowners insurance?

in Philadelphia, PA.. I have my house rented and the homeowners insurance found out and now they are cancelling my policy. I did not even know there was such a thing as landlords insurance..""

What is the best and the cheapest car insurance in ontario?

What is the best and the cheapest car insurance in ontario?

Cancelling car insurance?

if i decided to cancel my car insurance and go elsewhere would i have to pay a cancellation fee? if so how much is this likely to be? im with m&s (underwritten by bisl). also will my previous ncd be void because i wont have completed this current year due to cancelling early?

Can I add my 18yo niece to my medical insurance?

She is a college student and we provide more than half of her support. I do claim her as a dependent on my taxes, but only starting this year. I know I can keep my own children on the policy through age 26 (if in college, I think), but I didn't know if I could add my niece. thanks!""

Help with car tax and short term car insurance?

Hi I have a nissan micra which myself and partner are insured on and I intend to sell. I have bought a peguot but the problem is that it needs taxing and to get tax I need to insure it and this is when it gets complicated - The peugot is in Brighton in my parents garage and they plan to drive it upto me in Liverpool. The question is what do I do about the tax and insurance for it as I dont want to cancel or transfer my current insurance on my micra as I need the car until my new one arrives, my dad will also need to be insured to drive it up. PLEASE HELP VERY CONFUSED""

Can you cancel a car insurance policy and take a new one with a different company the next day?

My girlfriend is currently paying 197 a month for her car insurance, but we did a quote with another company will all legit details and they have quoted her 880 for the year. Can i ring up and cancel her current policy and take out a new with with this other company? or are there issues With doing this""

18 year old car insurance? ?

Im looking at a Chevrolet cobalt coupe 07. Where can i.get the cheapest car insurance.?

How much will my car insurance go up and who should pay?

My ex-husband just bought my 17 year old son a car. He will not pay for the insurance and my son does not have a job to pay for it or for gas money. How much will the insurance cost and who should pay for it? My ex or me?

Gettting car insurance for more than one car?

si my big brother has a BMW series 3 and got the insurance done for it through my dad i've not long passed my test and have been ask to buy a MG TF and was wondering would i still be abel to get insurance through my dad as well even though my big brother had insurance through him for his car?

Around how much does insurance cost for a sports car?

Hello I am looking to buy a 2007 mustang but my dad is telling me it's a bad idea because insurance is going to be too high. The mustang I'm looking at costs 9,989 and I plan to leave a 1000$ down payment and just pay monthly. I need a new car because I have been driving my 2000 Jetta 5 years and every year it has broken down on me at least 3 times! And last Friday I'm hoping it broke down on me for the last time. I need a new car. I only pay 35 for insurance right now I only have liability and I understand that since I am not paying for the mustang up front I'm defiantly going to need full coverage. Im 22 years old and i finally got promoted at work So I want to get something nice for myself. I still cannot afford a brand new car so I am looking to get a decent used car. I fell in love with this mustang & it's not that I can't afford the insurance (I don't even know how much it cost?) but my dad says I should save money and not get a sports car. I'm just not sure how to go about buying a car. My dad pretty much isn't helping me since I'm really interested in this one so I'm alone on this process. can someone please help me out ?""

How does car insurance work for a teenager?

I recently got my license but still do not drive due to the fact that my parents will not pay for insurance. They say it is too expensive but they also said the only way to make it affordable would be by getting me a car, which I seriously do not understand!! I don't want my own car I just want to be able to legally drive one so why would buying me a car and then insuring the car plus myself make it soo much cheaper than just already having me under their insurance and what not??? I just don't get it because once your insured you are able to drive any of the cars in the household so why buy another car just for me?? My parents aren't making sense and do not want to explain it to me. But we own luxury cars so could that be why they won't add me to the insurance? They are getting me a random, affordable used car which I don't mind but I would rather just be insured car or no car. Oh and they let me drive around all our luxury cars when I had my permit so idk why they are doing this to me.""

How much should I be paying for car insurance?

I live in the Philadelphia metropolitan area, although not in the city itself. I'm 25, and I've had my license since I was 18. I've been in one accident, and the other driver was ruled at fault. I've had no traffic tickets. I have a two year college degree and good credit. I drive a 2006 Chevy Cobalt that will be paid off in August. It's currently under my parents' name and on my parents' insurance policy. Once it's paid off, they're supposed to sign it over to me. (I'm reimbursing them for the car and insurance.) My parents might be ripping me off on the insurance costs; my father bought a second truck around the time of my 25th birthday, and there hasn't been any drop in the policy costs. How much can I expect to pay for a policy in my name only with the car in my name only?""

Wich car will cost more?

wich car will cost more in insurance? im a 16 year old boy with a3.0. i dont need exact prices just wich costs more. 2004 mustang v6 or 2004 silverado 1500 access cab 5.3 litre v8. thank you

Car insurance in texas?

how much does it cost??? i hav a project where i have to buy car insurance for a Mercedes Benz 2010 C300 Sport Sedan??

Know of somewhere cheap which will let me drive a car for only a few months for people under 21?

I've recently passed my driving test and would like to drive a car for a few months before I go to Uni but there's no where I can find with a few months insurance (fairly cheap) and a car I don't need to buy in full. I'm 18 which makes it more difficult Any help would be appreciated!

Cheapest car insurance for 17yr olds in ireland?

Cheapest car insurance for 17yr olds in ireland?

How much does health insurance cost?

18 year old, no dependents, on my own, no parental support. Tell me the cost of buying it myself.""

Why is it that the Republicans Party Sucks up so much to the Insurance Companies?

???

""If I move to a new state and buy a new car insurance policy, must I report violations in other states?""

i had two car accidents - one in arizona in summer 2004 and the other in texas in summer 2005, both of which i was at fault. at the time, i had california car insurance, which covered my accidents. i did everything legally and paid for my mistakes. i just moved to pennsylvania and need to buy a new car insurance policy here. do i need to report my prior car accdidents to my new insurance company? if I don't tell them about them, willl they find out anyway?""

What would be the cheapest insurance company for a 125cc motorbike?

i am a 17 male living in the uk.

Should I continue to pay for insurance on my old car?

I bought a new car last month and I called my insurance company to tell them, and they added the car onto my existing insurance for my old car. I've had to pay around 400. in the last month, for a car I no longer am driving. I'm trying to sell it, but it is just sitting in my garage. Should I have to pay for insurance on this car? Can't I just tell them that I'm not driving the car and I don't want to pay for insurance?""

If an insurance company never raised my premium from my DUI can they do it after 3 and a half years?

I am planning on buying a new car and my insurance company never raised my rates on my last vehicle after my DUI in feb 05. Progressive was 150% Higher than what I am paying now.. I have full coverage on my truck with a 250 ded.

""Where do i get cheap car insurance after passing my test at 17yrs old, thanks?""

Where do i get cheap car insurance after passing my test at 17yrs old, thanks?""

What company offers the cheapest insurance?

I am looking to buy an insurance policy for my car. It is a 1999 Mercury cougar, I have a perfect driving record, and I am an honor roll student at the University i attend. I drive the car about 20 miles weekly, so i'm looking for something ultra cheap. Something to get quotes online with the otion to purchase online is preferred, as i live in a small town with not many insurance companies available. Cheapest car insurance rate wins! PS I want state minimum insurance.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-accident-before-renew-my-insurance-linda-chipman"