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uncreativetitletrack · 5 years

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To Go See You

Pairing: Lee Know x Reader

Word Count: 8.6k

Genre: Fluff

Summary: All he wanted to do was go to the convenience store with you, but that simple desire ends up costing more than he thought.

You and Minho are walking out of the convenient store with Minho holding a grocery bag filled with snacks. He’s nibbling on a sausage while you’re eating an ice cream.

“I can’t believe you’re eating ice cream in the middle of the night.”

“And I can’t believe you’re eating a sausage.”

“Hm…true.”

You check the grocery bag, making sure that you bought enough for the members back in the dance studio. You look at the time on your phone, and it’s midnight. A second later, you check again, and ten seconds later, you check the time again. Minho can sense how tense you are.

“What’s going on?”

“I dunno…This is my first time doing this…you know…sneaking out. Like, I know I’m not supposed to let you guys eat so much unhealthy food…What if we get caught??”

He nudges you on the shoulder. “Oh god, what are you so scared about? It’s just once.”

“That’s what you said last time, and the time before. This isn’t a healthy habit!”

“Geez, stop being a goody-two shoes, Manager. You gotta live life to the fullest.”

“Sneaking out to buy candy and snacks isn’t living to the fullest…”

“Whatever, mood killer.”

“What??”

“Nothing.” He playfully replies.

You punch him on the arm, laughing along with him.

During the midst of practice, the members were craving for something—anything—to eat. Unable to bear hearing the cries of hunger from the members, you volunteered to sneak in some food from the cafeteria. Minho, who usually maintains his diet pretty well, also raised his hand up to go with you and even persuaded you to get junk food from his favorite convenience store. While you did retaliate at first, you ended up going along with it and immediately regretted it.

You sigh. “We should’ve gone to the cafeteria instead.”

“Why?”

“I think we’ve been out for too long. What if the CEO sees us sneaking in with these bags?”

“He’s currently overseas, so don’t worry about it! Besides, all they have is salad tonight and I don’t feel like eating it.”

“But what about—”

“You worry way too much!”

Minho wraps an arm around you, pulling you in for a hug. You nearly stumbled but was able to catch yourself. When you look up, your face is nearly centimeters away from him. You heart stops beating, and when Minho smiles, your heart skips a beat. You move away, pressing the ice cream on your cheek so that it can cool down.

“I-I just want to be safe.”

His smile fades away and becomes serious. There are moments when Minho enjoys playing around with you, and he knows that you get shy easily. You always tell him to stop, but your warning goes in one ear and out the other.

“Oh, come on, are you really that upset that we didn’t go to the cafeteria?”

You shake your head. “I’m not upset, I’m just scared,” you chuckle nervously. “But it’s still nice to spend some quality time with you.”

He doesn’t respond immediately. “Mm-hmm, it’s hard to talk to you without having the other guys interrupting. We should hang out more like this another day.”

“We should! I haven’t seen your cats in such a long time.”

“I said that we should hang out with each other, not you with my cats.”

“But I spend less time with them compared to you. I’m just kidding. But back to the point, I really like hanging out with all of you guys, but I’d like to spend time with each and every one of you.”

“Hey, hey, hey, just me, okay?”

You laugh. “You sound like an obsessive boyfriend, but wouldn’t you consider this be considered as our first date?”

He stares at you blankly, pausing before replying. “No. This isn’t a date. But since you brought that up, yea, let’s do it.”

“Do what?”

“Go on a date. Just us two, alone, nobody else. You and me. (L/N) (Y/N) and Lee Minho.”

“What?!” You immediately cover your mouth to avoid grabbing attention. “What…??” You whisper.

“We’re not doing it because we’re romantically interested in each other right? It’s just for fun, but we’re really going as ‘friends’.”

You don’t know how you two got from talking about snacks to going on a date. You almost laughed to lighten the mood, but seeing how serious his face is, you have a feeling that he isn’t joking. You weren’t thinking as the next hangout to be considered as a date, but since you’ve never gone on a date before, so you thought, why not?

“Sure.”

He extends his pinky finger. “Alright, promise me?”

You find this a little cute. Minho, a fully grown adult, wanting to do a pinky promise with you. You grin from ear-to-ear, curling your small pinky with his. “Promise!”

But…amidst the fun, unbeknownst to you and Minho, there’s a strange man wearing a face mask and cap, hiding his identity and crouching behind a bush, taking pictures of you and him together.

==========

It’s been a day since you snuck out with Minho, and now you’re in the building just coming out from a meeting. It was a briefing to schedule a day to go a radio show that they usually go on for every comeback. Usually, the members are a part of the meeting, but they’re so busy with dance practice that you decided to cover it for them. They’ve gone on the show so much that the producers from the radio are familiar with them.

You look through the schedule on your tablet, seeing how busy they’re going to be next week. You sigh, not excited to see them overworked. They already lack sleep and a member is always receiving a new injury every day, but with the inclusion of going on shows and having cameras on them constantly is just another add-on to their stress. Then again, this is a part of their job, and the best you can do is try to make it as easy as possible for them.

“Miss (Y/N).” Calling from behind you is the head of the casting department’s secretary, Miss Choi.

You give her a polite smile, bowing slightly. “Good afternoon!”

“Choi Eunha would like to see you in her office.”

“Right now? I was just about to head to the boys’ practice room.”

“Yes, this is urgent, and she needs you immediately.”

You don’t like the sound of that. You rarely see your boss, and when you do, it’s usually because you get into quarrels with her. It was like that as well when you appointed yourself as Stray Kids’ manager even after she deemed you as too unprepared to handle a boy group.

You sigh, but you also crack a smile. “Okay.”

==========

In Eunha’s office, the walls are covered in dark green wallpaper, shelves filled with music scores, trophies, and how-to books on building successful businesses. Hanging on the walls are photos of when your boss was younger, shaking hands with the J.Y.P. along with other important figures. Her desk has a folder organizer, which is basically a convenient metal divider that holds paper. On the opposite end is her desktop computer.

Sitting on the other side of the mahogany desk is you, your shoulders crunched up as you look around the room that you’ve seen many times before. There’s a stern look on her face, meaning that what she’s about to tell you isn’t going to be in your favor. She types, tapping each key individually with her long, witch nails painted red.

Once she’s done that, she rotates her computer around to show what’s on her screen. “Read this for me. Aloud.”

Displayed in front of you is an online article. There’s the title in bold fonts. “Lee Know of Stray Kids Spotted with an Unidentified Woman at a Convenient Stor—WHAT?!”

You cover your mouth with both your hands in utter shock. Underneath the title is a picture of you and Minho, and his arm is around your neck. You can clearly see a side view of Minho’s face, but thankfully your face has been obscured, only revealing your back. Even then, you were wearing your hoodie over your head, so it isn’t even possible to see you entirely.

But still, it doesn’t solve the issue that you and Minho have been caught together. Judging by this picture alone, you can already sense the enormous amout of backlash from both the entertainment world and the consumers. This speaks high volume that this looks like you and Minho were on a date.

“You should be kissing God’s ass right now that the netizen couldn’t get a picture of your face, but who knows when they’ll dig up your identity. Care to explain why you and Lee Minho were out so late at night?” Without even having to ask her, she’s clearly trying to reserve her anger.

“Uhm…okay…it’s not what it looks like, Ma’am…Minho and I wanted to get some fresh air.”

“And why did you guys decide to go out when you guys could’ve just hung outside the building?”

“Well…uh…you see…the boys were getting hungry. They were starving! So I couldn’t let them practice in that state, so I offered to go buy food for them and Minho tagged along with me.”

But you’re unable to convince her, so she opens her mouth to begin her lecture, but you think of anything to interrupt her. “Look, Ma’am! It’s not what you think!! You know how journalists are!! Ah ha ha…they make things seem more dramatic than usual just to get the clicks. Minho and I weren’t going on a date. They were craving for some snacks, so we went out. That’s all! There’s nothing going on between me and Minho. Absolutely nothing.”

Eunha raises an eyebrow, crossing her eyes as she leans back in her chair. The lack of response makes you anxious, internally begging for her to just say something, anything.

“I know it wasn’t your intention to be caught, and I’m gonna go on the limb and believe that you and Lee Minho aren’t dating. However. You still violated the rules. You should be well aware that, as their manager, you must keep your relationship with them professional.”

“Yes, I know, but—”

“And! During their dieting phase, they must not eat any junk food. I trusted you with that responsibility, but you failed to maintain it.”

“I’m very sorry!” You bow. “This won’t happen again! Please, do whatever you want with me, but don’t punish the boys.”

“Hm…very well. Then I have something in mind for you.”

==========

“What?!” Everybody shouts in unison.

In the dance practice room, the nine boys surround you in a semi-circle. Your head is sow and your shoulders are slumped with shame. Everyone is devastated with the news, but Minho is the one who’s been impacted the most.

“What are we going to do?!” Hyunjin pulls his hair.

“That’s it. We might as well say our goodbyes to each other. We’re not gonna last a week,” Changbin says, like he’s reciting a line from a soap opera. “We’re gonna die.”

“Changbin, it’s not the end of the world. You guys will be fine,” You elbow him playfully, although it was a bit forced. “As much as I don’t want to separate from you guys either, there’s not much we can do.”

Eunha has decided that you will not be with them during their comeback. In order to avoid more gossip, she thought it would be safest if you did work at home, scheduling and making phone calls, and wait until the rumors have died down until you can work with them again. Not only that, but you also can’t text or call them, and if you had something to say, you would have to contact their temporary manager. You can’t even be in the building if they’re in the building as well. You’re practically quarantined from them.

“Isn’t this a bit too much…?” Felix asks with a saddened tone.

“It is…but honestly, this is better than being fired, am I right?” You said that as a joke, but nobody laughs.

“So…no texting? No calling?” Hyunjin asks.

“We can’t even say hi to you?” Seungmin also asks.

You shake your head. “You guys have to pretend that I don’t exist. But don’t worry! It’ll just be temporary. Once the public forgets about it, then I’ll be back in no time. I’ll sure the temp manager will take care of you guys well.”

“But…it’s not gonna the same without you.” Jisung sulks

“Who’s gonna carry my stuff? Our stage clothes? My gaming consoles??” Jeongin tries his best not to panic.

You lower your eyebrows. “Your new manager will do all that for you. And I’m your manager, not your bellboy.”

“I know…but what if the new manager glares at me if I ask him to carry my stuff? At least you understand.”

“Guys, we shouldn’t be whining about it. It’s technically our fault too,” Chan chimes in. “We’re the ones who kept begging for food, and we were well aware of the rules too. The decision has already been made, so what we can do now is continue training and prove that we can do this ourselves!”

“Remember when Chan had to be our manager for a time because we couldn’t afford one?” Woojin adds. “Having (Y/N) babysit us made us forget that we’ve did it before, and we can do it again.”

“Well…don’t prove too well that you guys are independent. Otherwise, I’m not gonna have a job.” You jester.

“Yea…yea, you’re right. We got this!” Jisung cheers, fist pumping the air.

“But…I’m still gonna miss you.” Felix says, but instinctively in English.

“I’ll miss you guys too, but it won’t be for long.”

You love each and every member, especially for how positive their mindset is. Even though they go through their own individual struggles, they do their best to overcome them and help each other. They started from scratch before, so not having you isn’t going to be a problem.

…Or at least that’s what you hope so. You turn to Minho, who hasn’t said a single world since you broke the news. “Minho? Are you okay?”

Almost like that was a trigger, he marches out of the practice room. He’s clearly upset by this, but even more than the members. You run after him, following his heavy footsteps.

==========

Minho is standing by the elevator, tapping his foot as he waits for the doors to slide open. His arms are crossed, and although his expression is like his usual blank look, there’s fury behind his eyes, like he’s about to start a fire.

You catch up to him before the doors open, leaning over and putting your hands on your knees to keep you up. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to talk to your boss.”

“What?!”

“It’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair?”

“You’re the only one who’s being punished when I played a part in it too.”

The elevator dings and the doors open. Before he enters, you grab him by the sleeve. “Wait! You’re not serious about talking to her, are you?”

His silence is his way of saying ‘yes, I’m serious.’

“Please think about it carefully. I’m sure it’s because you guys are releasing a new album soon and punishing you guys will just intervene with your schedule. She probably wants you guys to focus on practicing.”

“Then why didn’t she say anything to us? Why is it just you? Did she not say anything about us at all?”

You let go of his sleeve, scratching your chin. “…She didn’t say anything…But! I guarantee that it’s because you guys are working and being disciplined is not going make things any better. If anything, if you want to be cynical, then it could also be because she didn’t want to get in trouble herself! You guys are well-loved, so if she was caught yelling at you guys, it’ll just bite her back.”

He stares blankly at you, but his mind is somewhere else. This goes on for a few more seconds before he nods his head as if he just agreed to the conversation he had in his mind.

“Ah…I get it now.”

“Get what?”

“Your boss is technically punishing us.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yea, by taking you away.”

…Really?

“Ugh, that bitch, because of her we can’t go on our date.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone there, Minho. I’m on temporary leave, not fired. But if you keep calling her names, I’m seriously going to lose my job.”

“What? Don’t deny the truth.”

You can’t believe he called her that with such anguish. It almost makes you laugh, turning this situation more light-hearted. Plus, his priorities are definitely not in the same playing field as the rest of the members.

“And you’re upset about the date? I thought we were just kidding about that.”

Again, he stares at you with his wide, blank eyes, then he shakes his head. “No. I was being serious. Why would I joke around about that?”

Your smile fades, then your cheeks become red. You don’t know how he can remain calm by saying such bold claims. “Minho…stop saying stuff like that or else we’ll get into more trouble.”

He sighs. “I was so excited about this date too, and I don’t want to wait any longer than I should.”

You’re flattered that he wants to go on this date with you, but you actually weren’t intending for him to mean it. However, you can’t bear to break his heart any more than you should, so regardless if he’s joking or not, it’s best to cheer him up.

“Alright, think about it this way: once the rumors died down and I come back, then we’ll plan out this…’date’.”

Light returns in his eyes, and he smiles from ear-to-eat. He gasps subtly, unable to contain that thrill in him, already thinking of places to take you.

“Okay, okay, but wait at least. Give or take a few weeks, then we’ll see each other again, alright? For now, take care, and please take care of the other members too.”

“…Alright.” Minho spreads his arms wide, wanting a hug. As much as you want to hug him, you don’t dare repeat the same mistake. For all you know, there’s probably an employee watching you two.

Wait until everybody forgot, you convince yourself.

You hate that you’re doing this, but you walk around Minho, pressing on the elevator ‘up’ arrow. The door rings open, and you enter. “I-I’ll see you soon, Minho! Good luck on the comeback!”

You keep waving until the door closes, and the last thing you see is his unpredictable, hollow gaze. You don’t know what he’s thinking, but for all you know, you probably upset him for ignoring his hug. You bang your head on the wall, sighing heavily.

“They��ll be alright…right…?”

==========

Hello, this is JYP,

Firstly, we sincerely apologize to STAYs who have been left with confusion these past few days. With the bottom of their hearts, Stray Kids love and appreciate each and every STAY and would like to clear the dating rumor between Lee Know and the woman in the photo. It is confirmed that the idol and the woman are not dating.

The woman has officially been identified as a JYP employee and would like to remain anonymous. She has violated one of the rules and endangered the idol by sneaking him out late at night, so she has been put on temporary leave. Once again, we would like to apologize for a late response. Please look forward to Stray Kids’ comeback as they worked endlessly for you STAYs.

…Even though you know that this isn’t intended to offend you and to just divert the fans’ attention away, but it still felt like a direct attack toward you. Already from Naver, you’re getting immense backlash. Many of the fans are criticizing you for exposing Minho to danger, then there are others who are outright calling you insulting names.

However, you don’t blame them. The notice itself is vague, and it painted you as somewhat of a villain. It isn’t like you can reveal yourself and beg them to understand your side of the story; it’ll just make the situation worst by revealing your face.

You lean back on your living room couch, tossing your phone to the side. In your one-bedroom apartment, the curtains are blocking every possible opening. You’re afraid that an obsessed fan or netizen is going to take a picture of you through your balcony sliding door or from a window.

It’s been a full week since you last had contact with the guys, and it’s getting lonely. You’ve dedicated most of your time with them that you never really had the chance to make friends. Since you’ve been separated from the boys, you never realized how much of a pitiful life you’re living. You don’t even have a pet to keep you company.

But on the bright side, the release of their new music video went smoothly. They’ve been receiving praise for it, which is a definite plus in the right direction. Fans should be focusing on this, not some half-assed apology that some faceless employee wrote. They became fans for the members, not for the drama.

“I wonder how they’re doing…”

You shouldn’t worry too much. They’re all grown men who live together, and they haven’t burned down their dorm yet, so that’s a good sign that they’re doing fine. Despite that, you still miss hanging out with them.

You sit up straight with a new determination in your eyes. Even if you’re not physically there for them, it’s still your duty as their manager to take care of them. For all you know, they’re probably starving themselves. Luckily, their current manager sent you their location in case there’s an emergency. You search up the name of their favorite fried chicken place, download their app, then placed an order.

Once that’s over with, there’s an option to add extra customer notes. You do have something in mind, but you feel bad for whoever is going to have to do it. You decide to go along with it and pay more in tips. When you’re done, you send a text message to the temp manager to give him a heads up.

==========

The nine boys return from the backstage and back to their private space. They take off their coats, using handheld fans to cool their faces down. The staff members are putting cooling packs on their faces. They rest silently, none of them saying a word as their temp manager is nonchalantly playing on his phone. The boys stare at him, somewhat waiting for him to say words of encouragement. However, he simply continues playing games, tapping aggressively on his screen.

Even though they assured you that they’ll be fine on their own, but they didn’t specifically say that they’ll be alright in the long run. With each passing day, their spirit falters more and more. Although they’re always encouraging each other, it doesn’t feel the same when you’re not there to give them a pep talk.

“I’m so bored.” Hyunjin says to end the silence.

“It’s too quiet…” Seungmin adds.

“My mental energy is deteriorating…I need something refreshing.” Jisung continues.

“Something…sweet…and nice…and bubbly,” Changbin lists. “…And has pretty eyes…contagious smile…and positive attitude…and very good at managing us.”

“Shh! Don’t say stuff like that.” Chan elbows Changbin, flicking his chin to point at their temp manager.

“Ow! What?? I’m just being honest!! It’s not like he’s gonna hear us. He’s blasting the hell outta his video game!”

And he’s right. The manager has his earphones plugged in, so into his game.

“Still. Be careful with what you say.”

“…I miss (Y/N).” Felix bluntly states.

Chan tries to think of something, but he can’t help but agree with him as well. Everyone here misses you. One of your traits that they took for granted is your gentle nature. No matter how dark things get, you always turn it around into a positive light. Even though criticism is always welcomed, it doesn’t hurt to hear your praise every so often.

But out of the nine members, there’s one who’s taking it the hardest. Minho is sitting on the floor over a blanket, watching a video on his phone. Jisung lays down next to him and looks over to see what he’s watching.

“Hey, hey, whadda you watchin’?”

In the video, Minho is the one holding the phone, and he’s recording a video of his cats playing in his parents’ home. His voice can be heard cooing at his three pets as they claw at their new toy. Within seconds, Jisung is already bored and was about to leave before he hears a second voice in the video.

“Soongie, come here!” Your legs entire from the right side of the screen, getting on your knees and crouching over to get his cat’s attention.

You spread your arms out for her to run in, and Soongie stares at you suspiciously before slowly approaching you. She rests in your lap, and you hug her.

“You’re getting bigger. Minho better be raising you right.”

“Of course, I’m her owner, after all.”

You laugh. “That’s the problem.”

Jisung is able to quickly see the date that the video was recorded, and it was before their debut. Judging by the hairstyle you have in the video, it was taken right before the filming of Hellavator.

Minho pauses the video, staring at a freeze-frame of you smiling at the camera. Jisung gives him a concerned look, raising an eyebrow at his sanity. He then zooms in to your face, gazing at it a few seconds longer.

Unable to handle it any longer, Jisung hits him on the arm. “Hyung, what are you, a creep?”

He stares at him with his emotionless eyes. “No.”

After responding to that rhetorical question, Minho stakes a screenshot of your face—ten times. He presses the home button on his phone, exposing his home wallpaper to be a close-up of your face.

“What in the…”

Despite the rule of erasing any connections that leads back to you, Minho isn’t making it subtle in the slightest. Minho stands up and walks to the counter where it’s filled with snacks and drinks. He picks up a can of soda, flicking it open and the carbonation fizzling into the air.

Jisung follows him, his jaw still hanging open. “Hyung…are you okay?”

“Mm, I am,” he takes a sip then picks up a piece of fruit and shows it to him. “Han, did you know that this is (Y/N)’s favorite fruit?”

“Hyung, can you at least not mention her name?? For all we know, there could be people listening.”

Minho gazes at the soda. “Doesn’t this drink look like her too?”

Jisung slumps his shoulders. “…I think you need help.”

“Why? I’m fine.”

But that response doesn’t do much to convince Jisung. “We all miss her too, but you can’t just keep waving your phone around in public. It’s just going to incriminate her more.”

“You know, I didn’t even get to hug her before she left.”

“Are you even listening to me?!” He sighs. “Sometimes I wonder if your brain is complicated or you’re just single-minded.”

Minho gazes at the soda like it’s his long lost soulmate, rotating it around to see its every beauty.

“Did you guys order chicken?” A staff member enters the private sector.

The members look at each other, giving each other puzzled looks. The temp manager flicks his eyes at the deliverer then sets his phone down. “Here.”

He gets up and takes the boxes of chicken. The boys can already smell the greasy, fried smell of the oil oozing from the containers. The manager sets it down on the counter, displaying the content one by one.

They circle around the food, Woojin opening it first and the brightest smile appears on his face. “Chicken!!”

“Whoa! Did you buy this, Manager??”

The temp manager shakes his head.

“Look, there’s a note.” Seungmin takes out a piece of folded paper.

He unfolds it, and while the handwriting is unfamiliar, the letter is recognizable.

Good job on the performance tonight, guys! Don’t stress yourselves out too much and use every chance to take a break. Make sure to eat a lot and please, please treat the manager kindly.

Even though it’s anonymous, it’s obvious who sent the fried chicken here. Even though it’s you, you made a special request for the chicken place to write a note.

“Managerrrrrrrrrrr…” Hyunjin drags the last syllable of your name, almost shedding a tear.

“Ah…I read that in her voice.” Jisung sniffs exaggeratedly.

The boys pass out the wooden chopsticks, each of them taking a piece and eating it. Each and every member savors the snack, appreciating your gift. Even when you’re not there, you’re still caring for them.

“Minho, are you gonna eat?” Chan turns to him.

But instead of answering, he glares at the box of chicken. Once again, no one knows what he’s thinking.

“…Minho?”

He takes his phone out from his pocket, scrolling through his contacts. Chan leans over to peek at his screen, and to his horror, he’s trying to call you.

“Minho?! What are you doing?!”

“Calling her.”

“Why??”

“Because I want to.”

“You can’t!”

He reaches out to swipe the phone out of his hand. But Minho moves back, pulling his phone away from Chan’s grasp. Minho nearly falls down as he avoids Chan’s hand. In the midst of their fight, his thumb accidentally presses on the ‘call’ button.

“Hang it up right now!”

“No.” He runs away from Chan.

They run in circles while the younger members plus Woojin are staring at their fiasco. Their temp manager doesn’t even bat an eye, piling his plastic plate with as many fried chickens that it can bear to hold.

“Are you trying to get her in trouble??”

“It’s just for a second.”

But this comes to a quick end when the ringing ends, which meant that you deliberately declined his call. Minho freezes on the spot, causing Chan to run into him. They both fall to the ground, his cheek hitting his phone.

“What the hell, Minho?!”

“She…turned down my call.”

“What?”

“She turned it down…” He repeats but in a more sullen tone.

Chan gets up, helping Minho up as well. After getting a good look at his heart-broken face, he’s no longer angry at him and instead, pities him.

“She…didn’t want to answer my call. She doesn’t want to talk to me,” he continues his muttering.

“Hey, hey, chill,” Chan pats him on the back. “She’s most likely following the rules and doesn’t want us to get into trouble again. I’m sure it isn’t because of what you think.”

Despite the comfort, his words go in from one ear and out the other.

==========

“What did I do, what did I do, what did I do…??” You ramble to yourself.

You didn’t mean to decline his call. You panicked, wanting to pick it up, but in the back of your head, you could hear your boss’s haunting voice threatening to fire you. In a split second, you tapped that red, glowing decline button.

While you thought that it was going to make you relieved, you’re now overwhelmed with guilt. You know full well that before you left, Minho made it clear that he was upset with your boss’s decision. Although you aren’t entirely sure why he would call you, it might’ve been important, so it only makes you feel all the more guilty.

“They…they have their manager…they should be okay,” you try convincing yourself. “It’s only for a little longer.”

==========

A few more days go by, and still no updates regarding you. No one has any idea what you’re doing, and they’ve been doing nothing but going to one performance after another. Every so often, they would go on a variety show, but then they would go back to performing again.

In the middle of their hectic schedule, they have a chance to take a break, but the boys settled with staying in their practice room to see if they can improve on their choreography. As their promotion is hitting home-stretch, their exhaustion is creeping up on them. It’s times like these when they become the most sensitive—the littlest thing triggering them into a tantrum or breakdown into tears.

And while the boys’ energy is being tested, Minho is the one who’s struggling the most. Every time they have an ounce of a break, he would dart straight to his phone, praying that he’ll see a call or text from you. But to his disappointment, it’s the opposite.

Minho rarely expresses distraught, so when it comes to times like this, they don’t know what to say or do to make him feel any better. The only remedy they could think of is bringing you back, but they don’t want to risk the factor of getting you fired or starting rumors.

“Okay, take ten.” Chan dismisses them.

Just as predicted, Minho glides across the room and to the counter where his phone resides. He turns it on only to slump his shoulders when there’s no notifications from you.

Jeongin and Seungmin watch from afar as they pity him. They’ve never seen him so depressed before. It’s so bad to the extent that they feel bad whenever they’re feeling cheery while he’s suffering.

“It’s like watching a monkey in a cage reaching for a banana that’s too far. So sad.” Seungmin states.

“Do you think we should ask our temp manager if he can put her on the phone? It’s hard watching Hyung in this state.”

“And risk her getting in trouble? You never know what stalkers are up to these days, hacking into our information.”

“Right…” Jeongin trails off. “But…why is Hyung like this? We want her back too, especially since our current…‘manager’…isn’t the best.”

Jeongin and Seungmin look at the corner, where their temp manager is sitting on a chair, completely out cold and snoring. On his stomach are crumbs of snacks that he didn’t bother sharing with the rest of the boys. His phone is on his stomach too, his game still on.

“Do you really think…Hyung and (Y/N) are…dating?” Jeongin brings up. “I mean, it has to be really serious for (Y/N) to leave us.”

“Hey, hey, don’t be crazy,” Jisung stands in between them, wrapping his arms around the two youngest members. “(Y/N) would never go for anyone like Minho-hyung, I think. Sure, he’s got the looks, but (Y/N) is wayyy out of his league. She should go for someone else…like me!” He points his thumb to himself with a bright smile.

However, neither of the two boys laughs. Jisung’s grin disappears, playfully punching Jeongin and Seungmin.

“No one will ever go for you, Hyung!” Jeongin teases.

“What?? Do you want to have a talk after this??”

“AHHHHHHH!!!!!”

This sudden scream nearly gives Jisung a heart attack. Without thinking, he jumps onto Jeongin, holding onto him so tightly that he can’t breathe.

“Wh-wh-wh-what was that?!”

The source of the shout came from none other than Minho. And just like that, he returns to playing with his phone. At an absolute loss from this out-of-sorts behavior, the boys stare at Minho, waiting for him to explain his outburst. Even the temp manager woke up from his nap and was startled by him.

“Min…ho…?” Chan calls his name questioningly.

He looks up with innocent eyes. “‘Sup.”

“Do…you need to have a talk?”

“No. I’m perfectly fine,” he laughs like an insane person.

“…Let’s have a chat.”

=========

On the third floor patio of the building, Chan and Minho are leaning over the ledge, drinking cold water bottles. The sun is setting over the horizon decorated with Seoul’s city skyscrapers. The sky is baby blue but fades into a burning orange as it reaches the land. Among the two men, the sounds of city noise wrap around them, the honking and car motors growling coming from cars.

But none of that matters, at least to Minho. He could care less about the city’s serenity. If he could switch the city to see you under the sunset, then he would’ve done it in an instant. And that’s the issue that Chan has with him.

“I think it’s better to cut to the chase, but you need to snap out of it.”

“Snap out of what?”

Chan sighs. “Get your head out of the clouds and get back to work! I swear, you need to stop acting like child begging for his mother. You’re a grown adult.”

His bluntness makes Minho return to reality. Even though Minho hardly said a word about what’s bothering him, it’s very obvious what the source of it is.

“Do you want to see (Y/N)?”

Mentioning your name catches his attention, darting his eyes to him. With how fast he moved, Chan jolts.

“Is she here??”

“What?? No! Maybe? Probably? I dunno. Look, I’m not bringing her up because she’s here, but there’s something that’s obviously bothering you more than you missing her, isn’t there?”

Minho doesn’t answer, so Chan isn’t sure if he hit the nail or not.

“Wuagh!!!” he shouts without warning, startling Chan. “Who gave that lady the right to boss her around like that?!”

Presumably by ‘lady’, Minho is referring to your boss, Eunha.

“Her boss treats her like shit because she just hates her!! This is why she’s forcing (Y/N) not to talk to us! This is a punishment for her, but why does it feel like I’m suffering the most?!” He slams his head against the rails, groaning like he’s in pain.

“…Did you guys end on a bad note before the separation?”

“…I was the one who told her that it’d be okay to go, it’s obviously my fault, but she took the blame. She did, not me. Then she ignores my call. She’s mad at me for getting her in trouble for what I did.”

“…Ohhh…I get it. Then why don’t you just clarify it with her?”

“…Clarify?”

He nods. “I mean, yea. It’s all mental barriers. When you think about it, there aren’t actually any limits. Just go talk to her, who’s stopping you?”

“…You’re right.”

“Yea, if you feel guilty, then stand your ground and let her know straight up.”

“Thanks, Hyung. I needed the encouragement. Instead of wailing like a baby, I should do something. This is my life, so I’m not going to let what others tell me what to do!” He chugs the water bottle until it’s empty. “Maybe she didn’t intentionally decline my call! I’ll confront her and ask her straight-up!”

“…What?”

With this newfound confidence, Minho crushes the plastic bottle and throws it in the recycling bin. He wipes his lips, marching back inside.

“W-wait…where are you going?”

“I’m gonna go talk to (Y/N).”

“Oh, ok—WHAT?!”

Before he knows it, Minho has already ran off.

“That’s not what I was talking about! I was saying that you should talk to (Y/N)’s boss, not (Y/N) herself!!!” Chan chases after him.

==========

Since you’ve been working at home, you feel like you’ll go insane if you’re holed up any longer. Earlier in the day, you went out for a quick walk around the park, spending most of the time sitting on the bench and enjoying the fresh air. It felt weird relaxing since you’re always working. You even forgot how it was like to take a break, so it was nice to take some time for yourself.

You wonder how the boys are doing, hopefully not overworking themselves as usual. You would text the current manager and ask him about them, but he would always reply with a ‘they’re fine’. The vagueness of it doesn’t soothe your distress. However, there’s not much you can do about it, so you have to trust his words.

You sigh. Perhaps you’ve become a workaholic—so much so that that’s all you ever think about. You even feel a little anxious if you’re relaxing a bit too much. Not only that, but ignoring Minho’s call also took a small toll on you. You pray that he knew that it was a misunderstanding. If he doesn’t, then when you get back to work, you’ll explain everything to him.

“I wonder how he’s doing.”

Then out of the blue, you hear fast-paced footsteps coming from behind. Curious, you turn around, and for a second, you thought that your eyes were playing tricks on you. Running toward you is none other than Minho himself.

“M-Minho?!”

He brakes, stopping inches away from you. You raise your arms up to protect yourself in case he runs into you, but luckily he didn’t. Without warning, he puts both of his hands on your shoulders, staring at you with his wide eyes as if making sure that it’s really you.

Feeling insecure, you avert your eyes. “Wh-wh-what are you doing here?”

Then he twirls his head around, checking his surroundings like he’s being chased. “No time to explain. Come with me.”

Without warning, he carries you over his shoulder. “O-oh my god…!!! Minho!!! Put me down!!” You kick your feet and flail your arms, but when he nearly drops you, you hold onto him. “W-wait, don’t drop me though!!”

“Sorry. Let’s go.” He runs off, still hanging over his shoulder.

==========

In a more desolated section of the neighborhood, Minho finally puts you down. He leans on the wall of a building, finding difficulty catching his breath. He slides down against the wall, hitting the back of his head on it.

You get down on your knees, scooting closer to him. “What are you doing here? You’re sweating enough to make a lake.”

“My legs…so sore.”

“You’re in your exercise clothes too. Did you just get out of practice today??”

His face turns red, heating up like a robot’s exhausted engine. You brush his bangs away so you can place the back of your hand on his forehead. His sweat rubs off on your knuckles, and while his face is red, his temperature is normal.

“Thank god you’re okay. Do you need water?”

But rather than responding to you, he takes ahold of your hand. You flinch, but you don’t jerk your hand away, unsure of what he’s going to do next. He closes his eyes, moving your hand to his cheek. Your heart skips a beat, but you’re so taken aback that you’re frozen. You can feel his sweat being wiped with your hand, making you conscious that you’re making his face dirty but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“Why did you decline my call?” He asks bluntly.

His question throws you off, muddled with what you want to say. You two haven’t seen each other in weeks, and this is the first thing he says to you? Then again, this would’ve been the first that came to mind too when you reunite with him.

“I-I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t thinking and accidentally rejected.”

“…So you don’t hate me?”

“What? Why would I hate you?” You laugh. “Where is this coming from?”

“Oh, good,” he keeps rubbing your hand against his cheek. “I just wanted to ask you that.”

“…That’s it?”

“Yea.”

“…Really?”

“Yup.”

You stare at him blankly, then burst into laughter. “You’re so weird. You come here out of breath and sweaty just for you to ask me that?”

Even though you’re the one who’s giddy, he doesn’t have an ounce of laughter. He isn’t letting go of your hand.

“It’s not funny.”

His dead tone makes your laugh disappear. For a second, your heart dropped at the fear that you angered him for fooling around.

“I thought you were angry at me for not taking responsibility and didn’t want to talk to me anymore.”

“Responsibility…? For what? …Oh.”

Not once did you think that he was to blame. Of course, he was the one who gave you the idea to go to the convenience store, but you weren’t expecting this to haunt Minho. It’s almost adorable about how guilty he feels.

“I would never hate you or any of the members,” You crouch next to him, leaning on the wall with him. “If I did, then I would’ve quit a long time ago. I’m sorry for not picking up your call, but you can’t be calling me when we have to keep our friendship hidden until the coast is clear.”

Again, his disappointed look doesn’t go away. You contemplate about what to say next, but nothing comes to mind. With his unreadable expressions, it’s like tiptoeing through a field of mines.

“Why can’t I be happy without worrying about what others think of me?”

His fingers intertwine with yours.

“Why am I criticized for wanting to be with you?”

Suddenly, he kisses the back of your hand. Your eyes widen, in utter shock with what he’s done, but your mind is in shambles with how to interpret the kiss. While you’re still processing the flirtatious move, Minho takes this opportunity to make a move on you. He leans over, and you lean back. He keeps drawing closer and closer until you nearly fall down.

“W-what are you doing?”

“It felt like years since I last saw you. It was seriously hell…”

“Minho, language…”

“It felt like forever, but it was only weeks. I thought re-watching videos and keeping two hundred pictures of you would make it better, but no. It did nothing.”

“…Excuse me…?” You thought you heard him wrong, but two hundred?

“It made me wonder why I thought like that. And I think I know why…”

He lets go of your hand, wrapping his arm around you, pressing his face against your collarbone. With his weight on your shoulders, you fall on your bottom. His hot breath lays on your skin, making your skin tickle a bit.

“Hey…are you feeling well?”

“No. Not at all. Not even a little. I’m suffering so much that I could die.”

“Isn’t that a bit of an exaggeration…”

“No it’s not. How dare you belittle my feelings like that?” He sulks.

The two of you are on the ground, ignoring the germs of the sidewalk and focusing on each other. His cheeks have become red, completely infatuated with you. All he sees in his eyes is you, and all he wants is you.

You snicker.

“What’s so funny?”

“You’re acting like a clingy child. It’s kind of adorable.”

Although ‘adorable’ was meant as a compliment, he took it as an insult. It made him think that you don’t see him as a man but as a baby brother. He’s not masculine, but an immature boy.

A little annoyed, he decides to prove to you the opposite. Out of the blue, he pins you against the wall. He corners you with his hands, his broad body hovering over you so that you can’t escape. Your smile is gone and your heart nearly stops beating.

“M-M-M-Minho?!”

He cups your chin, raising it up and forcing you to look at him in the eyes.

“Wh-what are you doing?!”

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

You push him away gently, but he refuses to move. “P-p-people might be watching…”

“Then let them look. Let the entire world be exposed to us.”

He leans over, closing his eyes and puckering his lips. Although you’re a nervous wreck, a part of you feels an odd excitement for this—like you’re doing something scandalous, but it’s thrilling at the same time. Because the media rejects you as Minho’s friend and demands that you’re nothing more than a manager, it kind of hurts you too knowing that you don’t have the freedom to choose. Due to the rejection, you had no choice but to be separated from him and the rest of the boys.

You squeeze your eyes shut, being able to feel Minho’s body heat. He’s so close to your face that you can feel his breathing—you can even smell his natural scent. You’re so nervous that you can’t hear anything else other than your racing heart that runs faster than a speeding car.

“MINHO!”

Suddenly, Minho is pulled away from you. You open your eyes and is shocked to see Chan lifting Minho up by the shirt.

“(Y/N), are you okay?? Did he hurt you??”

You’re too surprised to say anything, so you shake your head.

“Minho, if you actually hurt her then I’ll report you—”

“I’m okay, really!”

“Don’t lie to protect his butt.”

“No, no, no, it’s fine. It’s not what it seems.”

“It’s exactly what you think,” Minho interrupts. “I did what you suggested I should do, Hyung. I confronted my problem.”

You turn your head to Chan, raising an eyebrow. “What?!”

“N-not like that! He’s twisting my words.”

Minho grins like he just had a load of weight off his shoulders. You feel like you were being played, but the emotions that he was conveying before Chan’s intervention was definitely not a joke, especially with what he was about to do just seconds earlier.

“Great…” Chan sighs. “Right when the rumors were just fading, who knows what’ll happen now.”

You don’t know either. You turn to him, and he looks a little gloomy when Chan brought up the issue about rumors again. You don’t even know if anybody spotted you and him. But when you think about it, you remember what Minho said.

“Rumors don’t really matter. If people don’t like him for doing what he wants, then they’re more than welcome to ignore it.” You look over at Minho.

For once, he actually has a change of expression, looking rather surprised. You smile, making his cheeks turn red. Chan looks at you, then at Minho, then back at you, confused.

“Then, can I kiss yo—”

“Doing things to people with their consent, of course,” you bluntly state. “But I can promise you that I’ll never quit being your manager, even if my boss fires me. You can guarantee that. Then maybe…” your cheeks slowly turn red. “…We’ll finally go on the date that we promised. I-if that makes you happy…”

You’ve never seen him so genuinely happy. That beaming smile on his eye—so wide that his eyes become crescents. His endearing giggle seeping through his teeth, making your chest become fuzzy inside. Perhaps, it wasn’t so bad that the netizens caught you two together, and now, you don’t mind if they caught you two again.

“I don’t know what happened…but okay…if you say so.” Chan lets go of Minho.

Now off the grasp of Chan, he dashes toward you, hugging you so tight that you can’t breathe. He rubs his cheek against yours, unable to stop his giggling.

“That means that we can date.”

“Date?!!” You blurt.

“Okay, that’s going overboard.”

Chan carries Minho, pulling him away from you.

“Let me go! Manager said that I can do whatever I want.”

“(Y/N), sorry for disrupting your day, but it was nice seeing you. We’re really excited to work with you again.” Chan hurriedly runs off while carrying Minho away.

And just like that, Minho and Chan disappeared as fast as they appeared. You’re absolutely confused with what just happened, but despite the confusion, you’re still flustered with what Minho did. You keep thinking about how he kissed your hand and then nearly kissed you.

You cup both your cheeks, crouching down and hiding your face. Minho is definitely unpredictable, but that’s a quirk that you find charming. You can’t wait to go back to work and see him again.

[End]

A/N: Thank you for reading this! This felt really rushed, so I hope this made any sense. :\ Anyways, thanks for spending some time to read this and have a good day! :)

#stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #lee know scenarios #lee know imagines #lee know #lee know x reader #lee minho #fluff #stray kids fluff #skz #kpop fluff #kpop #stray kids

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ziracona · 4 years

Text

The tendency in fandom to take every white girl with short hair, regardless of the status of their canonical interest or lack of interest in women and explicit interest and/or sexual history with everything but, proclaim them a lesbian queen, and then ignore or absolve them of every single horrific act they take in fiction because of this. Is not doing feminism. Women. Lesbians. Or anyone. Any favors. It’s just bad.

Somehow. Some people really do apparently need to hear that...being any specific sexuality...is not a personality trait.

And also. Women aren’t inherantly less vile than men (or anyone non-binary, agender, fluid, etc, else), and whatever bad deeds they do should be judged based on just that—on the deeds, and their context. Not their sexuality, imagined sexuality, or their gender. Becuase none of those things effect whether committing murder is bad. At all. Not even a little. And none of them. Is even a personality trait. Affecting the character’s value as a person.

It’s cool, and good, to see characters with minority identities. And it’s real nice. When it’s whatever you are. But them being whatever. Is not a personality trait. Just a fact. And sometimes. People of any type. Are not good. Pretending any minority status—gender, sexuality, race, disability, neurotype, etc—is a get out of jail free card? Is not. Doing them. Or anyone. Any favors. Personality disorder. Doesn’t make you bad. Also doesn’t make you good. Your actions do. Acting like Amy from Gone Girl did nothing wrong when she date rapes her boyfriend & then frames him for doing that to her & ruins his life, then blackmails her husband who is terrified of being murdered by her into staying with her for the sake of the child she made at a fertility clinic with his sperm without his consent, bc she’s a woman. Isn’t good. Men aren’t more deserving of violence than women. Neither is anyone else. Jane. Left an infant child in an unheated car in subzero weather in a snow storm with zombies around that easily would hear it cry and go eat it. So she could lie and say she already let zombies eat it to bait a man with easily triggerable PTSD who had just lost his family to zombies for the second time into starting a fight. Because he was injured, unarmed, weak, down an eye, and 50, while she was fit, mid 20s, healthy, and armed with a hunting knife. Because she wanted an excuse to kill him without looking bad, because she wanted the 11 year old girl she was co-parenting with him, all to herself. And her immediately responding to the dude throwing a punch by stabbing him in the stomach to escalate the fight from brawl to life or death, then losing her knife, and instead of telling him the baby was alive & she’d made it up to start a fight which could have at any point ended the fight, begging the 11 year old child to gun down her oldest surviving friend with her own hands in cold blood so that she’d get what she wanted? Is evil. As is crying on the 11 year old and using pity as a weapon to get her to stay with her if she gets mad and wants to leave when she realizes Jane staged the whole thing for an excuse to murder, and so is after realizing like a month later that she is pregnant, committing suicide, and leaving the 11 year old that she just manipulated into killing her oldest surviving friend/completely isolated on purpose so she could have her to herself, totally alone in the apocalypse to care for an infant. Jennifer’s Body? Is a fantastic film. And Jennifer didn’t deserve any of what happened to her. But not one single boy she kills during the course of that film deserved it—and explicitly so. Even the guy who could easily have been a meathead jock bully is outside alone crying becuase his best friend just died and he loved him before she decides to lure him off and eat him alive. And acting like it’s totally fine & Needy should have just let her keep eating boys instead of killing her? Is fucked up. None of them deserved to die. And no one deserves death innately more because they are or are not something that is just a factual designator of their makeup as a human. The exchange student was scared and alone and nice, the catholic kid was sweet and Needy’s friend, Chip is a bad boyfriend but he meant well and being stupid doesn’t mean you deserve to die. And this girl ate them alive. That’s not funny. Or cool. Or fine becuase they were dudes. Gertrude Robinson? Chose again and again to betray people who loved her, or trusted her—sold out victims of awful trauma to their worst nightmares. Killed friends in the worst possible ways, like it was nothing. Michael loved her, and trusted her, and tried to care for her, and she without faltering fed him to his worst nightmare and forced him to become it. There is nothing excusable about that action.

Jude Perry? Has 0 redeeming features. Didn’t even stay faithful to her poor gf & was creepy obsessed w Agnes. Literally murdered her co-worker friend just because he was happy, and she wanted to destroy things: that’s it. She didn’t even dislike him. Murdered him because he had a wife and kid and house and it seemed fun, then burned down his house, took his wife’s money, and now checks in on his kid every so often in case he ever recovers from the trauma she inflicted enough to be fun to kill. There is literally nothing good about this woman. Yes. I mean that. Because being a lesbian? Is just a thing. There is no g/b tag, there is no tag at all. Amanda Young? Got kidnapped and tortured and forced to choose between killing a man who couldn’t resist but was conscious to watch her, and letting herself die, and she killed him. Then, instead of responding to that trauma with guilt or responsibility or anger at her captor, joined up with him and started helping him kidnap people just like her. She was not forced, she was not lied to. It does not matter if John was manipulative; she is a grown ass woman and like all grown ass adults, responsible for her own actions and choices. She did not get manipulated pitifully into this—she did not go unwillingly. She volunteered, with a happy vengeance, became obsessed with John and in love with him, despite his complete lack of interest. And she did not even just do what he did. She decided on her own that no one deserved redemption, & she killed them for fun in traps that wouldn’t let them go even if they did whatever awful thing the trap demanded as a price for life, just for the fun and power trip of watching them die helpless & in agony. That was all her, & her alone. She sat in a house full of people slowly dying from organ decomposition over the course of a few hours, for no crime worse than drug addiction—the thing she of all people should have been most sympathetic to—knowing full well at any time she could have saved them and stopped the game, and did nothing. She held a woman in her arms and stroked her head lovingly while she let her die in one of the most inhumane ways possible for the crime of having not been able to break an addition. She got saved by a 16 year old child multiple times, who had done nothing more than shoplift, and stood by while he had to watch a man get his brains blown out, another burn to death in an oven. As his organs slowly dissolved too. Watched the kid kill another human being & massively traumatize himself to save her life. And responded to that by attacking & knocking him out, tying him up, locking him up for days in a tiny safe bound and gagged with an oxygen supply to keep him alive, to be a piece in another game. Left his father, who had shown up to try & save him, to starve to death in chains in a horrible abandoned rotting room, & never even told him his son was alive. Let every other addict die horribly, let that kid sustain permanent damage to his organs that will kill him young, antidote taken or not, took his dad from him, & went back to torturing without a second thought. Kidnapped a woman whose worst crime was being a doctor & dating someone while maybe separated instead of divorced from her husband, put her in a trap that would take her head off with shotgun blasts, threatened her for fun, & then killed her even after she did everything she was asked, because it was more important to her that the old man she was obsessed with think she was special and great, than for the other woman to get to stay alive another day & go home to her daughter. There is nothing sympathetic about Amanda. She’s just not only evil, but too spineless to take responsibility for her own choices & actions, & tries to hide behind a “UwU I am sad & lonely & damaged & having trauma means I can literally torture people to death to feel special & it’s really tragic and sympathetic about me, not evil. Uhm. Some people??? Commit torture-murders?? To cope??” And acting like she’s somehow a victim in this becuase she is a pretty white girl with short hair? Is fucked. Up.

But every. God damn. Time. I see this. Please. It needs. To stop. People go: “UwU pretty girl short hair want” & I go “Ok. I see where u. Come from. Indeed.” But then. They go. “Girl pretty I like. So she was blameless. For this atrocity.” Those words...

Every day. I wake up. Thinking of Janic saying. Iconically. “At least me and Regina George know we’re mean,” and I weep inside. Because I cannot fathom. Or stomach. The lack of responsibility. I will kill. Characters who cannot admit they are bad. Myself. But somehow. They become. Flames. To moths. Of the “UwU pretty white girl short hair. We stan. Victim. Queen. Love her. Never done wrong.” Boy. We all done wrong. Even all my faves. At least once. I think. ...not if we count dogs probably, but people, yes. Ok. Anyway. All this is to say. Characters. Should be judged. Based on what they did. And why. And the aftermath. Not a grouping tag. I don’t mean any of these. Make bad characters. At all. Amy is a great character. So is Jennifer. So are most of them. I have quite affection even. For Jeneffer specifically. But you can like. Character. Without proclaiming. Them perfect humans. Who never did a thing wrong. Or their acts somehow. Justifiable. And ok. And you better stop saying. Ok. Because done. To men. Men do not. Deserve violence. Any more. Than anyone else. No one deserves violence defacto for factors. Outside their control. Wtf. Really people. It’s ok too. For character. To do much bad stuff. And still like character. Villains. And often just complex characters. Sometimes just characters. Do stuff. That is bad. It’s not supposed to be not their fault. Or ok. Also. Women are not a sisterhood. Of flawless beings. Who never hurt anyone or do any bad stuff. They can. And are. Often purpotrators. Of awful acts. And when they are. It is still. Very bad. Still. An awful act. Same level. Even. Of awful. Wild.

In conclusion.

Having short hair. While a girl. Doesn’t make her a butch queen. Who is absolved of all responsibility for that murder she committed. It just makes her a girl with short hair. That did a murder. I’m gonna. Kill someone. Too. And if I chop my hair off. I guess I can get away with it.

#personal #*dances wildly to abba music while delivering speech*#some of you all apparently really need a girl to come fuck up your life bc the lengths to which some of y’all so devotedly seem to believe #women are less evil is astronomical. and let me tell you. from personal experience? a girl can ruin your life. just as easily. and with as #little pity. guilt. remorse. or afterthought. as a man. and it aint any more ok. & you know what? so can a fluid person. or a nonbinary #person. legit anyone. can be bad. or good. and do bad. or good. theyre not defacto worse for coming from X starting point. and theyre also.#OuO not. better.#not everyone who likes or is sympathetic to these specific characters even be like that either like u know what? its possible to both be #sypathetic to a character & not excuse & atand their actions. I like & feel bad for Jennifer. a lot. one of my bros in college loved Jane #from twdg. Not bc she thought it was totally fine she’d been super evil though. its *dances* not that hard actually #also nothin against lovin evil lady characters or evil characters in general. just me or anyone else loving them does nothing to make their #evil deeds suddely ok or vanish into the mist #people have some real trouble w nuance huh. folks like a character & assume that means stanning everything theyve ever done. hate a charactr #and suddenly forget how to factor any outside factors into their view of said person’s actions. its a wild bad ride yo #like i get it. im a girl & ive had plenty of men ruin my life i truly get it. but is there anything truly more detrimental to feminism & to #just treating people decent in general than the WomenDoNoWrong mindset & apologism thrown up like its actually a decent counter t patriarchy #? probably actually yeah im sure there are worse. but its still REALLY not good!! feminism is just a stance that all people deserve equal #treatment & an investment in pursuing that reality. if youre excusing people of horrible actions bc girl & treating violence against non-#women as fine youre not a feminist u actually just suck generally as a person #i also lose my mind how half the characters i see get this treatment aint even lesbians & often explicitly like men yet get both assigned #that & treated like that sexuality is a hall pass for human rights violations. im dyin #this entire thought rant was prompted by reading a post earlier today about bi-phobia & gettin mad about how bi people get treated idk how #spagheti brain exactly went there to here so /fast/ but anyway. same brand of problematic. & i am v tired :] of this :] specifically :]#every time i see that post abt women killers in horror i am like ‘OP hiw are your points so good but all your examples so /terrible/.’ rip #i guess this is just life. and i feel excessively better after screaming jnto the void of my blog #also i get it gertrude robinson wanted to stop the apocalypse but fuck gertrude robinson she has no excuse. nothing could justify what she #did to people who loved her. and shes a well written and layered character whonisnt like just pure evil but she is VERY bad and i WILL kill #her (again) myself if given the chance & i have every right to.#spoilers #again. great charcters. amanda an iconic saw villain. gertrude fascinating. etc. but also. they be doing mad evil deeds & tis not ok

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oskarwing · 5 years

Text

Anaphylaxis is a hard word to stutter

Author’s note: This is the oneshot I wrote for @umbrellawhumpslut a few days ago.

Word count: 1841

Summary: Diego does not have the hang of Luther’s altered immune system yet. But he’s trying his very best.

The thing about growing up together is that you know each other really, really well.

The thing about not being in touch once the growing up is done is that sometimes your knowledge doesn’t matter all that much anymore.

It was like you were strangers who knew each other and if that wasn’t a oxymoron, Diego didn’t know what was.

Those few days now that the apocalypse was over had been awkward. So awkward.

Seeing people you knew but who were also kind of strangers was awkward.

And maybe it was easy to fall back into old rolls for some of them.

It was easy for Klaus to crack jokes all the time and be a total mess, though there was something more grown up about him Diego had no idea how to classify anymore. It hadn’t been there yet when they tried to save the world. How had that happened so fast?

It was easy for Five to just be… a bit of a prick actually. Of course there was a lot more time lost on him. But in many ways he was still the same. Or maybe that was just him looking the same way? Diego wouldn’t really know.

He had no idea how it was for Allison but while she definitely still was the Allison he knew, his sister, the girl who had talked for him during the interviews, she was someone different too. A mother, a wife… or ex-wife, a celebrity. And when Diego looked at her he could see all of these identities put over the girl he once knew.

Vanya still was quiet around them. Maybe she had just been quiet all along or maybe none of them could just shrug of what Dad had done to them. Though she was getting more confident, Diego thought. Or maybe she had been more confident in adulthood? Maybe the book he had spend all this time hating her for had been brave. He still didn’t like it that much. The book that was. He was trying to be nice to Vanya now.

And then there was Luther. You could talk about changes in the other siblings all you wanted but Luther maybe changed the most. And with that, Diego didn’t only mean the outward appearance that Dad had changed forever. Most of Diego’s childhood he had spend trying to be in the exact space Luther was in while simultaneously rejecting the very idea of him.

Diego would not be Daddy’s little soldier if he could not be Daddy’s favourite.

Looking at Luther now though he saw that he really hadn’t wanted this position. Not now as an adult and probably not even back when they were children.

What he had wanted was love and someone to be proud of him, the exact same things Luther had probably wanted and only now, at almost thirty Diego realized that they had both been really late still looking for that in Dad at thirteen when the others had all given up much longer ago. He had always thought that Luther was the naivest one and maybe he was but then Diego was in conclusion the second naivest one.

But now they were adults and Luther saw Dad for what he was too. Saw Dad for the monster he was. And things were supposed to be easier between the two of them… but things weren’t. They were better. And Diego was really proud to say that both of them tried… but - just like with Vanya - the things Dad did to them weren’t easily shrugged off… and the things they did to each other…

But it wasn’t only Luther’s external appearance, way of seeing things and relationship with Diego that had changed or were still in the progress of changing. There was his health too.

When the whole sickness thing started Diego had been at first kinda worried then kinda annoyed as Luther kept hiding these damn colds and flus and then worried again because damn if those fevers didn’t climb high.

But then they found out about the allergies and Diego thought he would go mad.

Okay. Allergies weren’t a new thing for them. What you expect seven children to grow up totally free of allergies? Yeah, so did Reginald Hargreeves.

But that had not been how it worked and so Diego was pretty familiar with having siblings he needed to protect from their own immune system being stupid.

But this? Luther had like a thousand allergies since he went to the moon and they were all totally random at least in Diego’s mind.

Luther who had to live with it seemed pretty cool with it considering and Allison helped running tests and stuff and everyone else just kinda made sure that he was okay.

But how could you keep up with so many allergies? How could they expect Diego, who for the past ten years had considered raw eggs a very good and healthy snack to keep up with all of these allergies?

Mom said he’d get the hang of it. She could talk. She could save information given to her. Diego did not have that option.

So Diego’s solution was simple. He would just never give Luther any food. Easy. That way he would never be at fault when something like that happened. Anaphylaxis only happened with food for Luther, right? Right?

Wrong.

Luther was getting another cold. Diego had been listening to him sniffling for a while and he really worried because after last time he really didn’t want him to keep hiding these things.

And Diego wasn’t proud at how he brought it up. He really, really wasn’t. But somebody had to and Diego had never been good with words.

“Here!” he said putting bot cold meds down in front of his brother. “I can’t hear your cold anymore and don’t give me that ‘I’m not sick.’ shit. You are or you’re starting to be. So take this stuff and go rest upstairs, okay?”

Luther stared at him. Then he did as Diego had told him which either pleased Diego or worried him more.

“How… how about you lie down on the couch? Just until Allison and the others are back?” Diego asked then and he thanked himself later that he did.

“Okay,” Luther said and for that later-Diego thanked him even more.

While Luther was laying down on the couch Diego decided to make himself useful and do the dishes for Mom who was on a walk with Klaus, Mom was now a very good and independent walker but she sometimes she took her children with her, if she wanted that was. Diego was so proud of her.

He didn’t get far with the dishes though when he heard some wheezing and coughing from the living room.

“See? Told you, you’re coming down with something again!” Diego yelled and went to look for his brother a pack of cough drops in his hands.

What he found though was not what he expected.

His brother had gotten up and had probably been wanting to tell him what was happening, just that Diego could see it.

Luther’s face was flushed and Diego was pretty sure that those were hives on the parts of his neck he could see.

His breath came far too slow for Diego’s liking and he looked like he was going to pass out.

This was not a cold. This was an allergic reaction.

A severe one.

Okay. Fast. He needed to be fast.

“Luther, hey, hey, buddy, sit down. This is… this is... “ my fault. “We’ll take care of this, yeah?” He said making Luther take a seat on the nearest armchair. “I’m getting your epipen, yeah? I’m taking care of this… this is… we can take c-care of this.”

Diego ran upstairs fast finding the first bathroom he knew they kept epipens in and then ran downstairs as fast as he could. Luther was even worse when he reached him. He hadn’t left the armchair and his head was laying back looking seconds from passing out now. Diego didn’t hesitate he undid the closing on the epipen and forced it into Luther’s leg through his pants.

“Okay… o-okay… did the th-thing,” he went searching for his phone.

“Kl-Klaus. I need to talk with Mom... Yeah ri-right n-now! Luther had a-anaph-anaphyl-anaph… yes!” Normally he would be annoyed at Klaus for saying the word for him but right now Luther and that things happened fast were more important. “O-okay. Then hu-hurry!”

He looked back at his brother sitting down on one of the arms of the chair. “Mom will be here soon…” he mumbled. “It were the m-meds right? The c-cold meds I ga-gave you? Didn’t know you were al-allergic to those…” “Me neither,” Luther rasped, his voice sounded hoarse but at least the breathing problems were clearing up.

Diego smiled and rubbed his shoulder. “Guess w-we gonna h-have another allergy test then…” he mumbled.

Klaus said that in situations like this talking helped both him and Luther a lot. Diego had no idea though if Klaus maybe said that because he was a natural nervous talker or not. He kinda hoped that was the case because Diego was whatever the opposite of a nervous talker was. He wanted to calm Luther down by talking. Wanted to make him feel less alone but after his last comment all he could do was rub his brother’s shoulder and hope Mom and Klaus would be home soon.

After a while the silence was broken not by him but by Luther. “Hey, Diego?”

“Y-yes?” Diego had not stopped with the shoulder rubbing. “You know… you know it’s not your fault, right? You just wanted to help me.”

I should have known better. “Sure… don’t wo-worry about me.”

“Okay…”

Luther was looking better. But it had been bad for a bit. And that bit was what counted.

Mom came home Klaus with her. Klaus talked a lot, Mom only little but she made sure that Luther was okay checking him over.

They helped Luther upstairs and Mom asked Diego what had caused the attack. Diego told the story feeling shame and Mom told him it wasn’t his fault and Klaus told him it wasn’t his fault but when had that stopped Diego from anything? Because if it wasn’t his fault then it was either the fault of the producers of the cold meds who he would probably get in trouble for if he kicked their asses or the allergies fault for existing and he couldn’t kick their asses. So he was left and himself he could beat up over this.

Luther was pretty exhausted after what had happened, falling asleep soon after Mom took care of him and Diego definitely understood that. He thought about how insistent Luther was that someone stayed with them whenever they got hurt and decided that he’d do the same for him.

As he watched his brother sleep he thought that he would probably never ever give Luther anything again. No food, no meds, nothing else.

#The Umbrella Academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #My first posted fic in this fandom #Aaaaaahhhhh

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sweatyato · 5 years

Text

my one and only

Noragami one-shot | 2149 words

Characters: Yato & Yukine | General Audiences

on ao3 by BeatrizCaelum (me)

Yato feels older than he has ever felt in thousands of years.

It is not a matter of being wise or even resilient, at this point, here, in the attic he has grown so fond of, looking at this small form under the blankets he’d do anything for. No, Yato doesn’t think he’s wise — if he were, Yukine wouldn’t be as tired as he is, sleeping through the birds’ melody outside. He suspects he’s alive solely because of love or some other equally incomprehensible feeling that is more human than divine. After all... What is a temple to his home? What is an army of shinki to his kid, or a legacy compared to Hiyori’s memories of him — of them?

Soft. Yeah, yeah, he knows. Sentimental. Someone willing to make other people happy, Hiryori would say. Hm. That’s what she deserves. And for Yukine, well — the small bump sighs and Yato adjusts the blankets —, the hands that so tenderly ruffle his hair or pat his shoulder, Yato’s calloused, sweaty hands, they can’t have blood on them, can they? They can’t. They won’t. This softness, this love, is for them. Not for a believer or for the Heavens or something his old man can twist. It’s theirs. (Yato doesn’t have a surname to put them under. No umbrellas here. They can’t have Iki, not really. Maybe, one day, he could...)

Ah. You idiot. Hiyori is not marrying you. Well. He can dream. He can dream of so many things, even if they are not for gods, even if many of them make no sense to him as he exists now. He can dream of being a man; of growing up to someday find a soulmate in Hiyori; he can dream of mundane jobs and so much fresh snow on their backyard and joy and freedom; he can even dream of a younger Yukine, safe under his — their — care, from baby to child to adult to old man, his shadow taller than Yato’s own. Nowhere near his... that man.

Yato closes his eyes. Yukine knows.

He knows and he is alive. And that’s why Yato is tired. If Yukine hadn’t made it, Yato wouldn’t even be himself anymore. He was too late when Kofuku called him (she did a few times, in two days, and he regrets it so much not picking up the phone earlier), shaky voice bursting a Yukki is crossing the line that he can still hear ringing in his ears.

All seemed small, then. Father, Nora, Bishamon’s comatose state, Kazune, the Heavens. The world, the Near and the Far Shores, it all was Yukine, Yukine, Yukine. Yato left Kazune hidden and teleported so fast as he felt like he was the dying one. He didn’t even have to ponder on releasing Yukine; it wouldn’t make a difference, he already had had the most... crucial flashbacks to his identity and final moments. He was crying, newspapers spread covering the living room’s floor, and was too out of it to react upon seeing Yato.

He gathered his kid into his arms and decided what was the fastest way to kill him.

(There wasn’t one. He had no weapon. He couldn’t use Kazune even if he had brought him along, because then he’d have to come up with an explanation to why Yukine was transforming into an ayakashi. For someone who fought so much to stay alive over the centuries, Yato really didn’t think this through.)

But Yukine stayed very much human.

Time passed and Yato felt the blond hair tickling his chin — not horns, not claws, not the ragged surface of wings —, Yukine’s rapid heartbeats still like an echo of his own, a boy’s shadow projecting behind him, the name persisting on his collarbone even with all the cracks. The gasping sounds his throat was making were nothing like a phantom’s deep timbre: his kid was his kid, although more lost than he could bear to watch.

When his old name escaped from his lips like a question, Yato just held him tighter.

“Yukine,” Yato murmured, “you’re Yukine.”

At some point, Yukine collapsed, sobs fading out. Yato answered some of his whispered questions of times long gone, memory after memory, and put him to sleep upstairs, as silent as he could, as if to not disturb his miracle.

Yukine should be gone.

Yato doesn’t understand. He almost doesn’t want to to know. Is it because he’s a blessed vessel, like Nana? Is it because even though he feels sad, he doesn’t wish to have his old life back, he doesn’t resent being dead anymore? Is it because nothing can really affect him worse than once being trapped by Heaven? Or Is Yukine’s abnormal strength something else entirely?

Maybe it’ll be a long time until he finds out. Maybe he won’t, ever, even after countless centuries. But if Yukine can stay with him, he doesn’t care.

“Hhhg,” Yukine’s groan startles him. “Yato?”

“Here,” he answers immediately, hand already reaching out. Just there, just in case, but Yukine’s eyes are closed and he stays still.

“I feel like,” his voice is hoarse, and it takes some time for words to form, “like I died twice.”

“You kinda did,” Yato swallows. “You got back your memories, your name and you’re here. I didn’t think this was even possible.”

“I don’t feel like I’m here.”

Yato’s heart tightens. “It’ll take you time to... get used to this. Two lives, one mind.”

“I don’t... I,” a sob muffles his words. “I’m so tired. Nothing I saw was good. Nothing I saw was fair. My... He..”

“I know,” he sighs. “I know, kiddo. But, please, you can’t let this get the best of you. You’re okay now, but... If you start having too many negative feelings, your body might give up on being human.”

Yukine cracks one eye open. “What do you mean?”

Yato tells him everything. The God’s Greatest Secret, what happened to Sakura, what should’ve happened to him. Then, his plan of tracking Nora to get to his dad and even about Kazune. At this, Yukine tries to get up to smack him on the head, but he trembles and lays down again.

“You have no idea how much I want to punch you,” he grumbles, even though Yato does have all the ideas. “Dumbass. But, yeah. I get it. You don’t want to use me for that.”

“I really, really don’t.”

“Isn’t Sekki your best option against Chiki now, though? I mean, it’s not like she can — “ Yukine’s eyes widen suddenly. “Shit. Shit. I forgot. You don’t know. There’s no Chiki. Your dad released Nora.”

“What.”

Yato feels his brain short-circuit. There’s no way his old man would do this, even if he found out about the tracker spell. He wasn’t afraid of Yato, that’s for sure. Would he sacrifice his most loyal and most powerful weapon in order to escape the Heavens? Once a shinki is released, the old master can’t name them a second time.

Then again, most rules don’t apply to his dad.

“Shit really hit the fan while you were gone,” Yukine glares at him. After a few seconds, his voice lowers as a slight blush spreads across his face. “Um. Yato.”

He blinks, fearing Yukine is about to ask something he doesn’t know how to answer. “What?”

“Is — is Kazune a better shinki than me?”

Ah. Yato smiles. He does know the answer to this.

“No one is.”

“Duh,” Yukine spats, but Yato can see — and feel — his relief. “I’m still gonna beat you to a pulp, though.”

“You can do whatever you want,” Yato means it. “Just stay with me. Please.”

His kid’s expression grows solemn. “I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

“Okay,” he nods. “Good. Me neither.”

Not for now, at least.

They share an uncomfortable silence after this, nothing but each other’s presence to ease their thoughts. Not for the first time, he wishes Hiyori was here, but it’s not fair for her to always have to comfort them, as if she’s the Goddess, after so much happened to her, after what she has already done to help.

After Yato’s mistakes.

“I...” Yukine’s voice trails off.

Yato knows his kid is working on some courage to say whatever is weighing on both of them—, a vicious feeling that has Yato’s weak on his knees even if he’s sitting —, so he waits.

“Is,” Yukine coughs, “is this why you kept me?”

“This...what?” He asks, not unkindly.

“You kept me even though I was killing you because you saw yourself in me,” they lock eyes. “Because of our fathers.”

Yato says nothing for a long time.

A bird flies into the room through the window and lands on Yukine’s nightlight.

“Bakagami,” Yukine calls. “It’s... it’s fine. I’m not mad. I mean. It’s what saved my ass, so it’s not like I can compl— ”

“It’s not that simple,” he interrupts.

“It’s... not?

“It was like that in the beginning, yeah.” He admits. “I wanted to give you something good here because of what I saw in your memories. But, then... Well. Stuff changed.”

“How so?” Yukine slowly moves to a sitting position. This time, he’s the one who reaches out, and Yato takes his hand with a small smile.

“After some of our misadventures, as I got to know you more and more... I realized I wanted you to have a good life this time no matter what had happened.” He says. “Even if you had been the happiest boy on Earth in your past life, I’d find a way to make you even happier with me.”

“Ah,” Yukine blinks, face coloring a little bit. “Yato...”

“You deserve it,” he insists. “Not just to make up for some violent past. You deserve to be happy because you are you.”

His grip on Yato’s hand tightens. “He didn’t think so.”

“Your father was —”, Yato swallows down a growl that belongs to Yaboku. “I’m not discussing his... actions. Just thinking of how he dared to — it makes me want to —”

“Hey,” Yukine whispers. “Breathe.”

“Sorry,” he clears his throat, but can’t make himself fake even the slightest of smiles. “Anyway. I’m... I’m sorry that you remember him now. I guess it’s okay if you think about it, but only if you don’t let it consume you, okay?”

“I’ll...try.”

“I’m gonna help ya,” he promises. ““I’ll be here to annoy you out of your bad thoughts. Whenever you feel like crying or whenever you can’t help but wonder what’s like to have an actual dad. I know the feeling.”

“I won’t,” Yukine all but snaps.

Yato hesitates. “It’s okay. There’ll be times when you’ll get sad— “

“Not that,” he rolls his eyes.

"Uh...? What, then?”

Under Yato’s questioning gaze, Yukine suddenly looks panicked. He mumbles something inaudible and dives into the covers again, hiding his face from view. Yato is baffled at the behavior and at the funny emotion squirming inside of him.

“Yukine?” He frowns, one hand above his heart. “What’s this? You okay?”

“I don’t have to.”

“You... don’t have to be okay. Yeah. Take your time. You can— “

He stops when he hears a muffled scream that sounds like, “clueless moron that can’t use his brain to save his life!”

“Hey,” Yato protests. “It has been just one year. I’m not fluent in teenager yet.”

“It's not like I don't know!” Yukine says, a bit too loud and a bit too quickly. “It’s not like I don’t know how a dad is supposed to be. I'm not exactly missing one with you here.”

With you here.

Yukine hides impossibly more under the blankets and at this point it must be hard to breathe, but Yato doesn’t remember how to move his arms to free him. His mouth hangs open, his eyes dance around the room without a spot to fixate on, his thoughts collide with each other in desperate need to make sense, one, two, three seconds pass and he chokes on whatever is that he tries to say.

“Yukine,” it’s the only word he can manage because it’s his favorite one.

He’s already lunging forward before his kid can try to say anything at all. The fall is soft, but Yukine lets out a little oooof that seems both happy and embarrassed, and Yato curls up around him, tugging on the blankets insistently.

“Not letting me look at your face, huh?” He snorts, pressing his forehead to where Yukine’s must be. “Punk.”

“Go. Away.”

“I can feel your smile through the fabric.”

“Maybe you’ll feel me kicking you on the balls through the fabric, too.”

“I love you.”

The feeling in Yato’s chest does a somersault.

“It’s definitely kicking time right now.”

Yukine doesn’t kick, or move, for a while. Neither does Yato. For the first time in his life, he’s not sad when he thanks Sakura for teaching him what love is.

#noragami #my writing #dad and son #I HAVE TOO MANY FEELINGS AND THAT'S HOW I COPE

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bloodiedskirtts · 6 years

Text

Daddy Dearest | Stark!Reader

Summary: Y/N is the darling daughter of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. Since meeting Steve Rogers, they have hit it off immediately and are super close. While, she harbours a crush for the super soldier, they are only friends.

Tony hates how close his daughter and Steve are and decides to take matters into his own hands!

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Peter x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: mentions of sex

A/N:This is an anon request hope it’s okay - I have aged up Peter because I had to

sorry this took so long x

Feedback is always appreciated! Thanks for reading. I hope you guys like it! Gif not mine, credit to owner.

Five years, five years Steve Rogers was on the run. After the Accords and the airport he had nowhere to call home. Finally, a pardon was extended to "Team Cap" and he returned back to the compound. He clapped Tony on the back as he pulled him in for a hug. He was finally home. He was wandering around the compound, it had changed in five years. There were new Avengers, he realised this as he stood just outside the gym watching a woman take out her frustration on a punching bag.

Her back was to him, but he watched the muscles ripple under her skin. The soft curve of her hips and he hated to admit how his eyes were trained to her plump ass. The grey fabric of her leggings clung to her curves and her ass bounced as she moved. He could feel the stirring in his pants, his eyes snapping up as she turned around.

Shit! It wasn't some random new agent. It was Y/N Stark, Tony's kid. She was only a teenager when the Accords happened. She had sided with Steve but her dad shipped her off to boarding school in Europe. He hadn't seen her since then. She would hang off him before then, he liked her, as a kid sister.

But long gone was that gangly, awkward teen. In her stead was a gorgeous young woman, with curves that would send any man wild. A knowing smirk pulled on her face as she crossed the room and exited the gym to face him.

'Welcome home, Cap!' she breathed, pulling him in for a hug.

'You've grown up, kid,' he breathed as wrapped his arms around her smaller frame.

She had always had a crush on Steve Rogers. And when he became a criminal it broke her heart, she missed him so much. But now he was back and she wasn't a kid anymore. And that crush? Well, the crush hadn't gone anywhere, in fact seeing him in front of her, with his blonde hair grown out and that beard! She was getting weak at the knees just thinking about it.

'You should shower, old man. You stink!' she teased, wrinkling her nose as she pulled away.

He let out a laugh, before hitting back, 'You're not smelling too peachy either, darlin'.'

She shrugged, 'I was heading to the showers. Care to join me Cap?'

He took a step forward, his hands brushing against her waist, moving closer to her. Her heart was thumping, she didn't expect him to do that. Before he was so bashful and now...But before he could answer, Tony was walking down the hallway towards them.

‘I see you two have gotten re-acquainted!’ he said, eyeing up Steve.

Y/N giggled, kissing her dad on the cheek, ‘I’m just glad you two are friends again. I gotta shower though. See you later, Stevie.’

With that she bounced off, ponytail swinging as she made her way to the showers. Steve couldn’t help but watch her go but he was snapped out of his thoughts by Tony.

‘That’s my little girl Steve. I swear if you touch her, I’ll make you wish you were still on the run.’

‘I don’t like it Pepper,’ Tony hissed, as he got ready for bed. ‘If you’d seen the way he looked at her...like…’

Pepper shook her head as she moisturised her hands.

‘She’s an adult Tony. If she and Steve want to-’

‘Absolutely not! He’s old enough to be her grandfather. Literally! And you, you want her and him to…’

He made a face and shivered at the thought of his precious daughter and Steve Rogers...fonduing.

Pepper looked over at him, ‘I know that face, Tony. I don’t know what you’re thinking but just don’t.’

‘Too late,’ he said as he kissed her on the cheek before racing out of the room.

‘Best two out of three?’ she giggled when Steve pinned her to the mat.

‘I think you just like being under me,’ he teased, letting out a soft gasp as she rolled her hips up to meet his.

‘Maybe, Stevie…’

He jumped when the door opened, letting go of her as Tony walked in with a boy around the same age as Y/N.

‘PETER!’ she squealed, jumping up and running to hug him. ‘I missed you so much! How have you been bug boy?’

Steve watched as she flung herself into his arms and he picked her up spinning her around.

‘Queens isn’t that far!’ he teased, as he put her down.

‘Uh huh,’ she said. ‘Well, my dear, you aren’t easy to hunt down. Between swinging from webs to studying all the time. How’s Gwen by the way.’

He blushed softly, ‘We...um…’

She blinked, taking a step backwards.

‘We broke up. Trying to hide a secret identity and have a girlfriend isn’t easy...She always thinks the worst.’

She nodded, rubbing his arm.

‘I’m sorry. You should have told me, Petey.’

Tony moved to Steve, ‘Maybe we should let the kids catch up, huh?’

Steve shifted uncomfortably, Tony was right. She was just a kid and she looked so happy with the other man. Maybe he should just drop it, this other kid could make her happy. He could never give her what she needed. As he went to leave with Tony, she gripped his hand as he went to leave.

‘We’re still on for tonight, right?’ she asked, eyes wide as she watched him.

He nodded dumbfounded by her. He hadn’t felt this way since...he bit his lip.

‘I’ll see you tonight,’ he said with a smile.

Tony growled, as he noticed how Steve and Y/N looked at each other. He needed to up the ante.

‘Peter!’ she screeched, pulling her towel around her naked body.

‘Oh my God! Shit! Sorry, Mr Stark he said...shit, Y/N. Sorry. Oh my God.’

‘GET OUT AND TELL MY FATHER THAT I’M GOING TO KILL HIM!’

She stomped down the hall, her hair still wet, she was wearing a pair of booty shorts and her Captain America t-shirt. She knew how to piss off her dad. She threw open the door to her father’s office.

‘What the fuck?’ she screamed.

He blinked at his daughter, standing in front of him, a tiny ball of rage. She really was her father’s daughter.

‘Well, hello to you to, my dear,’ he simpered.

‘What are you doing? You invite Peter to stay at the compound, have him shadow me at every turn and then get him to walk in on me in the shower!’ she hissed.

‘Now, I didn’t-’

‘No daddy! What are you doing? Me and Peter didn’t work because of so many things,’ she snapped. ‘I love him. I do but not like that. And I don’t need your meddling in my love life again! You pushed me and Peter together before and it didn’t work…’

She shook her head, blinking back tears.

‘He’s good for you.’

‘He’s my friend. When we dated, we were kids. And we didn’t even…’ she shook her head.

‘So you and Steve are…?’

‘Not that it’s any of your business, but no! Me and Steve haven’t slept together. If you talked to me about it then maybe you’d know. Or maybe if you didn’t go behind my back, you’d also know that I really care about Steve. And he cares about me.’

‘Oh come on, you can’t…’

‘Steve was your friend, dad. And if he breaks my heart, he breaks my heart. But I’m not a kid anymore. This isn’t a schoolgirl crush. If it doesn’t work out, then I need to make that mistake by myself.’

A soft blush covered her cheeks, as she dropped her head.

‘But I don’t think he will…’

Tony sighed, ‘You’re going to break Peter’s heart.’

‘Ugh, take mom to Europe for the month. I can’t bare to look at you, you imbecile,’ she sighed out, a teasing smirk on her face.

‘So I can leave you alone with that fossil? Not a chance! I love you poppet.’

She hugged him, ‘I love you too, daddy.’

‘You ready?’ she said to him, turning to face her father.

He brushed her hair out of her face, fixing the veil over her hair.

‘You look beautiful,’ he whispered. ‘It’s still not too late you know.’

She slapped him across the shoulder, ‘Do you ever stop?’

He was snickering as the bridal march began to play. After five years, Steve had got down on one knee and proposed to her. And just over 12 months later, Tony Stark was giving his daughter away to Steve Rogers. And despite what he thought of Captain America, when he saw his daughter’s face light up when she came to end of the aisle, he knew that his little girl wouldn’t be happier with anyone else.

@kayleeflower , @savemesteeb , @rainbowkisses31 , @valeriae2903 , @sophiatomlinson23 , @rhiisnotawitch , @mcuimxgine , @randomstoriesofabunny , @marsnothere , @myrabbitholetoneverland , @jessxxoxx , @patzammit @ka-x-in

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #captain america x reader #captain america #stark!reader #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #tony stark x reader #iron man x reader #pepper potts #iron man #tony stark #spiderman #peter parker #marvel insert #marvel fan fiction #marvel x reader #marvel one shot #request

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lady-divine-writes · 6 years

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Coldflash - “How Much Is that Doggy in the Window?” (Rated NC17)

After little Lisa makes a surprise discovery, Barry and Len end up dredging up an age old argument - whether or not to get their daughter a dog. (2122 words)

Part 5 of the Father-hood series

Read on AO3.

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you!” Lisa squeals, leaping straight into Barry’s arms the second he comes to a stop in their living room.

“Thank me?” He wraps his daughter in a huge bear hug, confused as all get out. “Thank me for what? Len?” Barry takes off his hood and looks at his husband, sitting like a king on his throne in his La-Z-Boy recliner. “What’s going on? When you called, you said it was urgent.”

“It is, in a sense,” Len starts, being obnoxiously vague as always when Barry wishes he would just answer a straightforward question with a straightforward answer for once. “It seems that our little Lisa here figured out that we’ve been planning on getting her a dog.”

“What?” Barry asks, caught between pissed and paternal. Yes, the ever continuing ‘dog’ discussion is an important family saga, but it’s not exactly urgent. On the flip side, he wasn’t doing much down at S.T.A.R. Labs other than monitoring street cams in the industrial district. “Didn’t we specifically say no dog?”

“Oh, you don’t have to keep up the act, Daddy,” Lisa says, kissing him on the cheek. “I know you wanted to wait for my birthday but …” She sighs, her expression slipping from effervescent smile to apologetic frown “… I’m sorry I snooped. I’m sorry I found the collar.”

Barry’s confusion drops off his face like a rock, along with his jaw smacking to his chest. “Wh-what … wh-what collar?”

“The collar we’ve been hiding in that secret drawer beside our bed, Barry,” Len explains with a smirk.

“Uh, didn’t you make it perfectly clear that that drawer was off limits?” Barry asks, setting Lisa gingerly on her feet.

“A-ha. But apparently a little birdie told her that’s only because that’s where we hide all her presents.” Len stands and puts his hands on his daughter’s shoulders. “And poor, impatient Lisa couldn’t resist.”

“And did you ask her who told her that?” Barry asks, teeth clenched tight. He suspects her Aunt Lisa, whom she was named after. Though, considering the company they keep, it could have been literally anyone on either side of the law.

Like Mick.

Yup, it had to be Mick, Barry decides. Pulling a prank like this is a very Mick Rory thing to do.

Barry’s just glad he kept it relatively PG … and non-lethal.

“Of course I did, Barry. Who do you think I am?” Len says with a wink, tongue-in-cheek reminding Barry how, in the past, his interrogation techniques were renowned in the underground.

“And what did she say?”

“She says she’s no snitch.”

“And you accepted that as an answer?”

“Accepted it? I respect it. She has honor.” Len beams down at his daughter’s glowing face. “I think that alone should earn her a dog.”

Barry looks at his daughter, staring up at him with excitement and hope-filled eyes. They shouldn’t be having this argument in front of her, especially since she’s about to be overruled. “Excuse us for a moment, Peanut. I have to talk to your father alone.”

“Ok, Daddy,” she says, plopping down happily in Len’s chair.

Barry grabs his husband’s arm and zips him out of the room, onto the front porch.

“She doesn’t deserve anything if she’s invading our privacy!” Barry scolds in a whisper, not certain Lisa won’t be listening at the door.

“Be happy she stopped at the collar, Barry. You and I both know there are way more psychologically damaging things in that drawer than that. Besides, what do you have against her getting a dog? I, for one, think it’s a good idea, considering you’re a superhero and I’m an ex-con. A Rottweiler or a pit bull might be good investment for the whole family.”

“We have a security system! A good one! The best! There are eyes on her at all times! But that’s not even the point. It’s the principle. We laid down a law …”

“A stupid law if you ask me.”

“Who’s going to take care of it?” Barry switches gears because, of course, his husband would have no respect for rules. “I’m barely at home during the day …”

“I’m a house-frau now. I’ll take care of it. And so will she. Bare, you can’t say no to her now. Not after …” Len can’t finish, snickering at the ridiculous reality of this little coup. Besides, in order for Lisa to get into that drawer of theirs, she had to have picked the lock.

Len is too proud over that to be upset.

“Len, this is not the way this is supposed to work! If she wants a dog, she needs to earn it!”

“By doing what? She’s already a straight-A student. She keeps her room clean, she makes dinner more nights than I do, and according to Felicity, she’s been troubleshooting most of Oliver Queen’s latest tech. What more do you want her to do, Barry? Save the world?”

“We need to talk things over,” Barry insists. “Hash them out. We need to discuss pros and cons, feeding and walking schedules, lay out some ground rules.”

“You and rules,” Len scoffs.

“Getting a dog is a huge responsibility!”

“More so than keeping your identity a secret? Because our kid has been doing that her entire life.”

Barry glares. “That’s not fair. That falls under the category of extenuating circumstances. I want to handle this the way a normal family would, Len, because that’s all I ever wanted for Lisa. Normal.”

“I hate to break it to you, Red, but you and I both failed at that right from the conception stage. Lisa’s not normal. She’s brilliant and talented, and more than likely will grow up to be a super-human crime fighter with a computer brain. And her life isn’t normal. It’s complicated. Severely complicated. In fact, getting her a dog is literally the most normal thing you can do for her, so let’s get her the damn dog!”

“That’s not a decision we should be making right now. Not while we’re arguing.”

“So what do we do? Huh? She already thinks she’s getting a dog.”

“Well, she’s mistaken. She needs to understand that she’s not going to get rewarded for messing around with things she has no right messing around with.”

“Ha!” Len barks, stepping in to his husband’s space, the shadow of a vengeful gleam veiling his eyes. “Two words, Barry Allen – time line.”

“Timeline is one word,” Barry retorts, clearing his throat of the awkward. “Lisa’s a big girl. She’s mature for her age. I’m sure that if we tell her the truth, she’ll understand.”

Len shakes his head. “Barry, if she’s mature enough to know that her parents have a collar kink, then she’s mature enough to own a dog. But, if that’s the way you feel about it, fine.”

“Good,” Barry says, a triumphant and relieved smile on his face. “I’m glad we agree.”

“For the record, we don’t agree,” Len says. “But at least, this time, I won’t be the bad guy.”

“Whatever.” Barry reaches for the door handle, but stops when he notices his husband retreat to the porch swing and sit down. “Aren’t you coming?”

“Truth is your territory. So have at it, Flash.”

“Nice.” Barry takes a deep breath and braces himself. Just because he won this argument doesn’t mean he’s looking forward to breaking his daughter’s heart. She’s wanted a dog for forever. And that look on her face when she leapt into his arms? That’s the happiest she’s been in a long time. But happy or no, he’s made up his mind.

He will not be manipulated into giving in, even if this whole thing did start with a misunderstanding.

He opens the door and walks into the house. He spots Lisa, rocking in the recliner and looking at her phone. He catches a peek at her screen and his heart deflates. During the course of his and Len’s conversation, she had started scrolling through a Pinterest board she’d made titled ‘Dogs of my Dreams’. She was adding to it – tiny little tea cup dogs, Pomeranians, Chihuahuas, poodles, and such.

He approaches his daughter slowly, preparing himself for the worst conversation of his life. A creak in the floor causes her to lift her head, and the smile that lights her face at her father’s approach is positively blinding.

Barry swallows hard. “Lisa?”

“Yeah, Daddy?”

Ugh. She called him Daddy. This is going to be impossible.

“There’s something I need to explain to you … about that collar.”

“Yes?”

Barry crouches down in front of her, meeting her eye to eye. “You see, sometimes when you buy a collar, it’s for a dog.”

“A-ha …” Lisa giggles, rolling her eyes as if to say duh!

“And sometimes, two people … two grown adults who don’t own a dog, might buy a collar to …”

“Yeah …”

“Well, they might buy a collar because …”

“Because …”

Barry looks at Lisa’s face, at that thousand-watt smile dimming with every second of this asinine explanation. Is he really going to do this? Is he really going to tell his beloved daughter that she can’t have a dog, and that that collar she found is one of among a dozen of her two fathers’ favorite sex toys? That the last time they used it, Barry himself was wearing it, and Len was riding him like bronco, growling in his ear and smacking his ass?

No. He can’t do that. What responsible parent would?

When Barry first found out he was going to be a father, his own father gave him some valuable life advice. “Pick your battles,” he’d said. “Because things will come up that you’ll never dream of, things that you would hope to never handle. But, in the end, when you’re debating right and wrong, you’ll have to decide – are you doing what’s best for your child? Or what’s best for you? Because, surprisingly, the two aren’t always the same.”

So Barry has to choose between psychological trauma or pet dog?

When he thinks of it in those terms, the answer is quite simple.

“Because they have a particular dog in mind,” he covers, smiling to match hers, to bring it back up the few notches it had fallen. “And the ones you’re looking at are way too small.”

“Really!?”

“Really! I mean, how are you going to play catch with a dog the size of a baseball? Not unless you’re using the dog as the ball.”

“Dad-dy!”

“So let’s go down to the shelter and find a dog big enough to fit that collar.”

“Yay!”

“Now (and this is the part Barry hates) go get your shoes on while I tell your father the good news.”

“Okay!” Lisa hops off the recliner and back into her father’s arms, squeezing him so tight, it takes Barry’s breath away. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you, too, Peanut. Get going. We’re burning daylight.”

Lisa jets past her father at incredible speed, racing upstairs to her bedroom while Barry strolls onto the porch to inform Leonard Snart that they are, in fact, going to adopt a dog. She stops at the top landing when she hears her father say, “I’m proud of you, Flash. You’re making our little Bug very happy,” and smiles.

Lisa loves her family.

Her entire family.

She unlocks her phone and dials the first number in her phone log.

It only rings once.

“So, Kiddo. Did it work?”

“A-ha. Just like you said, Uncle Ollie.”

In his den at The Foundry, Oliver grins. “Good girl. Now, go get your dog. And make sure you send your mom and me tons of pictures when you do.”

“Sure thing. And thanks!”

“You’re welcome.” Oliver hangs up the call and slips his phone back in his pocket. Sitting beside him on the sofa, a mildly amused Felicity shakes her head.

“Well, well, well. It looks like Leonard Snart may be rubbing off on you a tiny bit.”

“Nonsense.” He wraps an arm around his wife’s shoulders and pulls her close. “I was a sneaky, conniving s.o.b. long before he and I met.”

She nods. “Hmm. That’s true. But I feel bad.”

“Why? Don’t you think Lisa deserves a dog?”

“Yeah, but Barry told us about that collar in confidence. Did you have to use it against them?”

“I didn’t have to ...”

“We could have invited them over, and talked about it like adults,” Felicity says, a slight reprimand in her tone.

“Absolutely.” Oliver chuckles, imagining how uncomfortable it’s going to be for Barry and Leonard to see their newest family member strutting around their house wearing that particular collar. “But this was more fun.”

#ColdFlash #Barry Allen #leonard snart #The Flash #Captain Cold

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inspirationallyinsane · 4 years

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December 11 2020

Hi Tumblr :) it has been such a long time since I have written anything. I would like to say it is because my life has been crazy or busy or even interesting. But that is not the case. I think that I haven't written simply because I haven't felt like myself in a long time. It's funny, I still call myself a writer. Like if someone were to ask me who I am or what my interests are; I would always say I'm a writer. I consider it a core part of my identity and yet I can't seem to do it. Sad, isn't it? Anyway. The last time I wrote I think I was going to Key? Right? From Chase? Over a year ago now? Haha. Yikes. I won't write too much about Key Bank but I will say that it broke my soul a little bit working there. It was an odd place. A group of fully grown adult women, acting like high school children. And I would talk to the people around me about it and unanimously the response was more or less shock at the things that were happening there. I don't know. I cried a lot during that time. I remember my depression and anxiety from HS and it doesn't even compare to how it was at Key. I had never wanted to be less alive than when I was working at Key. I am young, but I can say confidently, I will never have a worse job. Ever. Which is comforting in a way. If I can get through that BS I can probably get through anything. Lol. But! Out of all bad things comes good, right? I don't believe that necessarily, but in this case it is true. As always, my disdain for my workplace inspired me to get something better. I decided that I didn't want to fuck around with banks anymore and that I was ready to start my career as an actual financial advisor. So I applied to three different firms and, no surprise (not really, it's a huge surprise, I'm in no way qualified to be an FA right now), I landed a job at one of them. So I was hired to be a financial advisor at AIG retirement services, and I began studying for my tests. I worked at Key for about 3 months after I was officially offered the position at AIG. I was studying for the first test I would need to take, the SIE. I ended up quitting (sort of) in August. Key found out about the AIG thing and they weren't happy to say the least. But. What do they expect? I told the district manager directly that I was being bullied at my branch and I had other people confirming that fact. Not to mention that when I was hired they knew my ambitions, I told them, I wasn't trying to hide anything and I didn't spring anything on them like oh no way? I wanted to be an FA in a year. I was told that would happen when I was hired. 5 months in I was told that it would take 3-5 years to even get an assistant position. I'm not doing it. And obviously I am a very talented individual. I have had enormous success in my career in 3 short years. You can't hire someone like that and expect them to sit in a boring ass banker job for 3 years. It's not who I am. Hire someone else. Um. But, the AIG job is in Eugene. So I had to move! It actually all worked out really nicely though because the fires in Medford left my brother without an apartment right around the time I was looking for something in Eugene. We were able to get him into my and Trent's old apartment within about a month, and I found the cutest little place in Eugene. I love my apartment. It is technically a one bedroom but I turned it into a sort of studio with an office. I figure I'm not going to be having people over all that often, so a living room or entertaining area isn't important to me. I love my office space, it is so perfect, especially since AIG is work from home until who knows when. It is considerably smaller than my apartment in Medford was though. But! I have been saying for so long that I wanted to get rid of stuff, cleanse my life. I ended up getting rid of a lot more than I actually needed to. And so my place is a little empty, maybe? Not terribly empty but there's just a bit more that I could have. I don't want to buy more things though. Everything I have is because I truly want it. And that's a cool feeling. Really knowing everything you own. I think people often have things that they don't even realize they have. They don't know their own possessions. I know for sure I didn't. Before I went through my things, I thought I knew, but there was so much stuff that I had no idea about. Craziness. There is too much stuff in this world. Anyway. I'm all set up in my new place, the only super sad thing is being so far away from my family. Trent decided that he couldn't come with me. He is doing so well at his job and I'm really proud of him but it is hard to be without him so much. This is the longest relationship I've ever had by far. And there have been ups and downs, but at the end of the day I don't want to be without him. He was here all week and he's actually asleep in my bedroom right now as I write in my office. It's kinda a nice domestic little picture. I miss him constantly when he isn't here. We talk on the phone though and we have our games we play together. Recently he got me into WOW. I had a lot of fun leveling but since reaching 50 I haven't played much. We gotta get back to it. Essentially though things are going well with Trent and as of now I see us being together for a very long time. I will say that I haven't always been so confident in our relationship but somehow I think we have actually gotten stronger. The moving stuff was stressful. I'm glad we got through it. And of course I miss my mom and my dad. It's hard. I enjoyed our weekly lunches and I liked going over for dinner every once in a while. I still talk to my mom on the phone, my dad too but just less often. It's not the same though. Fortunately because of the holidays I have been able to go down to Medford at least once a month for the last few months, and I'll be going for Christmas too. I'm hyped about the gift Kodiak and I got for my parents. I think they're gonna love it. Definitely unique. It's hard to be alone. I feel kinda bad because I know Jonno is here and I should text him and hang out with him and it's not even that I don't want to but I have been struggling a lot emotionally since being here. My anxiety has been unbearable. It's an all day every day sort of affliction. I have never had such intense and frequent panic attacks. I actually ended up seeing a psychiatrist and getting a prescription for anti anxiety meds. I haven't taken them and I'm starting to do better. It helps when Trent is here. I've been trying to help myself. I'm trying to go on daily walks to the park next to my house, I'm trying to eat better, although most days I've had a hard time eating at all. I'm trying to get out and put myself in situations where I will see other people or be preoccupied. I'm finally feeling maybe up to starting a stream. I think that will be good for me. Anyway. That's all to say, I've just kinda been suffering since moving here. I don't want to say that it was a bad decision coming here, or accepting the job with AIG because being at Key was worse, just differently. Intense anxiety vs deep depression? I'll take the anxiety apparently, because I've dealt with anxiety so much that even though when I have panic attacks the physical symptoms suck ass, I know exactly what it is and exactly how to get through it. Being suicidal? That one is harder to know how to fix. Haha. Anyway. Back on track. I haven't been able to finish my testing for my FA position yet. Um and I have essentially been out of work for 6 months. So. I was definitely ready to go back. I ended up getting a job at Starbucks a little bit ago. It was fun. My manager was very nice to me. I learned a lot about coffee. I had no idea it was such a complicated subject. My manager's whole life was Starbucks. He had worked there for over 20 years. He knew everything there was to know about coffee and about Starbucks. It's very cool but at the same time I kinda wonder how a person is satisfied just being a SB manager for their whole life. Like, at the end of that day, are you satisfied with your accomplishments? I hope he is. I could never be, but I think that might be a flaw. I ended up having to quit after only two weeks though because I had a phone call with one of my partners (?) at AIG and we decided that I could start as a part time advisor assistant until I finish my testing. My 7 is scheduled to be soonTM so. It wouldn't be too long but it'll be a nice introduction to the company, and allow me to start working with some of the other FAs before becoming one of them. I start that position on Monday. Um. I'm actually really excited. They offered me more money than I thought I would get. And the hours are fantastic, and it is work from home. I mean. Could there be a better position? I don't think so. So far everyone from AIG has been just so awesome and accommodating. I have had some administrative issues, like with my U4 and testing and start dates, but ultimately I think it is going to be great working there. Hm. What else? I've been playing a lot of league. LOL is my favorite game ever. I love it so much. I love watching it and playing it and even thinking about it gives me joy. I have gotten a lot better since Trent and I started dating. I think it's because I am with him that I wanted to be better. Back when I started playing and it was me and AG I never felt much motivation to focus on the intricacies of the game, or even learn different champions or positions because the person I was playing with was... not really better than me? It's hard because he was at first but I didn't have to play the game right to be better than him. But! I always saw Trent as this like, pro LOL player ya know? I thought he was just so good and I always felt kinda bad playing with him cuz we would drag him down in the games. So when we started dating I was like, I want to be as good as he is. I want to get to his level so we can play together and it won't be uneven. I mean. Y'all know how competitive I am. I think now I can confidently say that I am. Not at all the champions but I am confident in my gameplay, particularly as ADC. I've played a lot. But it feels good. Oh! I've also gotten into playing words with friends with my grandma. Nams is so awesome. I love being able to play her favorite game with her and chat with her every day. It had been soooo long since we talked and so when she called me a week or so ago I mentioned that WWF might be fun for us to play together and keep us connected more. And it definitely has. Such a beautiful thing. That has been helping with my anxiety too. She makes me smile. Anyway. I guess that is all for now. Hopefully I will start writing more but no promises. Just honestly it’s probably not going to happen. I think about writing a lot. Maybe I just need to sit down and do it when I think about it. Maybe that’s what being a writer is. Who knows? I hope all my readers are doing well. If there are any of you left out there :)

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