#to look like her or anna karina! a dream!

[austerlitzborodinoleipzig]

The 100th day of the war. And the people

One very tired man, one night in a train station, point blank asking me "I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do anymore. Where would you advise me to go?" Sir, it's almost midnight. Right now you're not going anywhere. We are transferring you to a place where you can sleep. Tomorrow you'll decide.

Olena, who exchanged phone numbers with me. She jokingly told me to register her number under "Olena the refugee". That was how she introduced herself. The next day when she called me she said "Olena from Ukraine". The Ibis hotel wouldn't unfreeze the 100 euros deposit she had to make. I had to call them two days in a row for them to give back the money they owed. They blocked my phone number. Joke's on them, I had another one for work.

Vitaliy's mother who told me her two years old son kinda looked like Khrushchev.

One Nigerian and his very pregnant wife who wasn't feeling well. We called an ambulance for her and while we were waiting the man was asking the Red Cross volunteers "so if my wife were to give birth in France would the child receive french citizenship?"

Galya, 8 years old shouting "Mom, that man is called Olivier like the salad"

A woman with a big bandage on her finger telling how her cat escaped from his cage during their transfer in Berlin, how she grabbed him by the tail because the train was about the depart and how the scared cat scratched her so strongly she basically had no skin left on her middle finger. And what caused her distress wasn't the pain but the fact that she mistreated her cat.

That very sweet old woman in a wheelchair. She told me her name and I forgot it. She also told me that when she read the Gospel when she was young she used to cry thinking about all the suffering Jesus endured. "But God saved me and led me here to safety".

Sasha who was going to Barcelona, who just finished school and did not know what to study at the university, and who asked me "Why are there so many Asians in Paris? Did you get invaded? Are those migrants?"

Svitlana and Karina, from Kharkiv, desperate and so very very tired. They had spent ten days on the roads of Europe, gone all the way to Madrid only to discover that there was nothing prepared for welcoming refugees, and now wanted to go back to Germany, because they needed a country with a strong social security system. "I don't understand, Svita said, why everyone in Germany is so much kinder toward refugees than our own countrymen. You wouldn't believe how badly the people in Lviv treat the refugees from Eastern Ukraine".

Rita, 14, who wanted to know how to make friends with French teens. "It's easier to make friends when you have a house where you can invite them. Mine got bombed last week. There's nothing left."

A professor of nuclear physics headed to Bordeaux. "I've always dreamed of working in France, and my French colleagues have managed to arrange that"

That refugee who met Zemfira in a train station in Paris.

One mixed race couple who were absolutely unfazed by all the chaos of Gare de Lyon and were looking for a good restaurant because they had some time before their train.

That very old couple who absolutely refused to be sent to the Red Cross's dormitory. "We went yesterday, they said they would drive us in the morning to the train station, that we would be able to get on the train on time. They didn't, we missed the train, and now we're not going anywhere. The train leaves at 6 am, we're gonna sleep in the station and if they close the station at night, we're just going to walk around until they open it.

Anna from Kyiv. I told her that was the name of one of the Queens of France. She spent a month in Paris but ultimately decided to go back to Kyiv. While she was in France, she visited a friend who found a home in Toulouse, then went to Biarritz because she'd never seen the Atlantic Ocean, and had the perfect occasion.

A couple and their two years old daughter, Zlata, who found an accommodation in the middle of bumfuck nowhere near Brive la Gaillarde. They sent us lots of photography. They spent their first month sightseeing, as there are loads of medieval castles around.

The woman with blue and yellow ribbons in her braids, who was trying to find something like kefir in French supermarkets.

Another Anna, who tried croissants and éclairs for the first time. The croissants were heavenly but the éclairs were way too sweet and honestly she found them overrated. Croissants did deserve the hype.

A therapist from Kyiv who found a place to stay in Rouen, but is considering moving because her daughter is in highschool and she wants her to go to a reputable one. And she is shocked by how bad French students' maths level is.

Sanya, Vika and their turtle.

[lazys-moved]

mobile  friendly  muse  lowdown   sparkling  heart  emoji

slice of life

cherry  duchanee  ––  teenage  runaway,  phone  sex  operator,  aspiring  camgirl     ( lisa, she/her )

nae  jiwoo  ––  fallen  baseball  prodigy,  online  presence  with  his  sports  webtoons     ( yeonjun, he/him )

nana  yang  ––  true  crime  podcaster  with  a  lack  of  empathy  due  to  a  lack  of  experience     ( soojin, she/her )

cash  chu  ––  college  dropout  and  full  time  caretaker  of  his  kid  sister     ( sungchan, he/him )

levi  hwang  ––  juvenile  delinquent  turned  frat  boy  dropout  working  two  jobs  until  he  inevitably  ruins  his  sobriety  &  probably  someone’s  night     ( chanyeol, he/him )

finn hae mingi ––  retail  worker  and  aspiring  fashion  designer     ( hanse,  she/they )

bok hajoon  –– former  farm  boy  who  left  for  the  city  with  guilt  and  dancer  dreams  in  tow     ( yeosang,  he/him )

jovi  cha  ––    high  school  luminary  left  behind  in  hometown  who  turned  to  onlyfans  as  a  spiteful  means  to  prove  his  success    ( doyoung,  he/him )

arielle  byun   ––   digital  editor  wasting  away  in  her  bedroom  due  to  difficult  maintenance  of  friendship  and  social  misinterpretations     ( lia,  she/her )

tess  han  ––   hawaiian  beach  bum  conservation  snorkel  boy  with  perpetual  broken  heart  syndrome     ( san,  he/him )

olan  sasiprapa ––   feline  pastry  chef  at  family  run  cat  cafe  with  constant  existential  worry     ( bright,  he/him )

james  ‘ jimbo ’  lee  ––    try - hard  bitch  baby  who  can’t  take  a  hint     ( yuchan,  he/him )

anna songprawati  ––  full  time  flight  attendant,  part  time  clout  chaser     (  tu tontawan,  she/her )

watchara  chao  ––  failed  med  student  with  mounds  of  loans  and  nothing  to  show  for  it  except  a  hidden  drawer  of  lipstick  stained  cash     (  pp krit,  he/him )

kane  shim ––  serial  monogamist  with  a  victim  complex     (  yunho,  he/him )

amani  davis  ––  history  professor  with  an  odd  interest  in  plagues.   velvety   timbre  as  though  permanently  between  library  walls,   genuine  adoration  for  topic,  & wanting  to  make  others  feel  that  same  way.   (  lakeith,  he/him )

cristian  kang  &  quincy  choi  ––   self - destructive  couple  by  nature,    passive  aggression  runs  through  veins  &  fuels  every  type  of  frustration.    sometimes  long  relationships  are  just  that:   long.   years  spent  together  considered  a  way  to  pass  time,   both  parties  finding  no  easy  way  out,   no  matter  the  dramatics.   trust  hung  by  a  thread  at  this  point  but  grip  of  codependency  held  tight.   (individual  blurbs tbd)  (  hyungwon  &  i.m  )

beau  youn   ––  classical  training  washed  down  the  drain  and  chased  with  bitter  pills  of  reality.   hushed  tones  and  no  traceable  path   ––   full  control  of  outside  perception.   days  planned  down  to  the  minute  as  though  puppeteered  by  curtained  authority.  (  juyeon,  he/him )

roxy  seong  ––  classic  case  of  neglected  child  syndrome,   but  catch  a  mouthful  of  silver  rings  if  caught  discussing  such  topics.   people - pleasing  arrogance  stemmed  in  the  possibility  he  could  be  worse.   virtual  friendlessness  a  result  of  distrust  of  himself  &  everyone  around  him,   but  victim  complex  stood  strong.   also  he’s  a  chef   (  wooyoung,  he/they )

simon  yu  ––   sensory  issues  misunderstood  as  rich - kid  antics  and  brushed  off  as  cavalier.   dreams  tucked  away  à  la  pandora,   knocking,  begging,  pleading  to  be  freed.    time  spent  alone  with  no  qualms  but  alienation  sat  heavy  upon  heart.   (  seungwoo,  he/him )

malakai  kyun  |  anita  cockatoo   ––   youth  hidden  away  behind  torn  hoodies  &  fingertips  stained  with  shades  of  soft  pastel ;   sense  of  self  found  in  solitude,   reflection  recognizable  for  once.   sticky  remnants  of  double - sided  tape  marked  the  blurred  line  between  expression  and  impersonation,   but  where  is  the  partition ?   (  seonghwa  &  chaeyoung,   she/her )  

in the spotlight

hwa  myung  ––  popular  online  makeup  artist  with  a  penchant  for  karma     ( taehyung, he/they )

sena  mun  ––  tiktok  influencer  whose  entire  sense  of  self  is  formed  by  her  followers     ( jennie, she/her )

jin  chani  ––  high  fashion  model  with  a  fragile  ego  &  a  habit  of  self  medicating      ( xion, he/they )

holli  tsutsumi  ––  heiress  whose  questionable  acquisition  of  fame  resulted  in  stunted  growth  and  the  know - how  to  play  an everlasting  role     ( momo, she/her )

ashwin  koomrampai  ––   recently  acknowledged  actor  of  his  generation  after  years  of   dark  horse   attitude  has  found  family  in  A - listers  notorious  for  holes  where  hearts  should  be     (  ten,  he/him  )

river  feng  ––  idol  walkout  coasting  on  name  recognition  and  pretty  privilege     (  xu  jiaqi,  she/her )

cao  zhenya  ––  actor  on  the  rise,  easily  starstruck  &  eager  to  please     (  minghao,  he/him )

KIKI  |  kian  park    ––   former  star  for  the  mouse,   male  finished  contract  with  decency  and  found  the  switch  to  a  music  career  quite  easily.    bridging  the  gap  was  to  be  modeled  after  ––  he  was  made  for  this.   somehow  everything  goes  right  for  him,   though  he  attributes  it  to  being  in  sync  with  earthly  energies,   perfectly  unpretentious  and  fearless.   (  jjk,   he/him  )

                 ‧͙⁺˚*·༓  SUITS  ༓·*˚⁺‧͙

ace  |  kitt  kaewburesai  ––  luxurious  offspring  of  narcissism  and  intrusive  thoughts,   decorated  in  matte  black  ornaments  and  topped  with  glossy  lips.   guided  by  clear  mental  hierarchy  and  insatiable  desire.   quintessence  of  immodesty  and  the  act  of  getting  off  on  that  knowledge  alone.   (  gulf  kanawut,  he/him )

jack  |  jang  jaehwa  ––  virtually  unrecognizable  by  design,   anonymity  incarnate  with  a  trail  of  ash  in  his  wake.    former  vicious  nature  diluted  &  concealed,   mask  far  more  impenetrable  than  self - imposed  veil  of  years  past.   mystery  shrouded  in  icy,  yet  enviable  energy ;   arrogance  ultimately  found  in  belief  of  ex - prey  never  catching  up.   (  hyunjun,  he/they )

queen  |  aaliyah  cha  ––   vitality  leaks  from  tear  ducts,   courage  the  only  weapon  available  against  forces  disagreeable.   sunbathing  in  the  warm,   jaded  glow  of  adoration  without  a  care.   abrasive  etiquette  off - putting  as  first  impression  but  loyalty  unmatched.  (  karina,  she/her )

king  |  adrian  he   ––  unresolved  traumas  wrapped  up  tight  with  a  bow  and  crowned  in  eroticism.   someone  under  stress  meets  someone  looking  pretty.   desire  lights  candle  beneath  self - imposed  iron  boots,   a  spark  to  outrun  the  void  that  always  seemed  to  be  at  his  heels.   (  xukun,  he/him )

supernatural  &  canon

ryeo  aeja  ––  [ mumbles ]  year  old  vampire  who  prides  herself  on  restraint  and  human - like  trust,  but  has  a  ravenous  darkness  waiting  to  be  freed     ( jisoo, she/her )

berri  darmadi  ––  reluctant  witch  no  longer  able  to  push  away  powers  (  brianne  tju,  she/her )

jake long ––  mack  daddy  dragon  of  the  nyc     ( lucas, he/him )

marshall  lee  ––   not  so  bad ?  he’s  the  son  of  a  demon  and  the  vampire  king.  it’s  not  something  he  has  to  try  at.   ( san,  he/him )

bonnie  gwan   ––   runs  family - owned  candy  shoppe  like  it’s  her  entire  personality.   too  smart  for  her  own  good  &  fails  to  see  how  she  could  go  wrong.   aka  pwincess bubblegum   (  onda,   she/her )

[nadjadoll]

mega get to know me tag game

I’ve been tagged a bunch of times (mostly by @brucewyane thank you lovely I see and appreciate all the tags!) but also by @chuckhansen @honesthearts @faithchel @bivillains @newgenesis and @noonvvraith, thank you all!

Since I was tagged in so many different about me things I took the liberty of merging some of them especially duplicate questions~

I won’t tag anyone because this is a weird amalgamation of many different tag games...

time: 9:47 am name/nickname: just shiawna, no nicknames at least none i want to mention here afjslks named after anyone?: nope! my dad made my name up birthday: august 14th 1998 gender/pronouns: female, she/her zodiac: leo height: 5′2 eye color: hazel on the side of green nationality: american :/ currently wearing: black turtleneck like a slut, the jeans i wear everyday, yellow socks and my bop harley fuzzy creature slippers song stuck in my head: la vie en rose - edith piaf average hours of sleep: 6-7 special talents?: i can write moderately well i think hobbies?: writing, watching too much tv, daydreaming about fictional characters and loving my oc’s pets?: two cats, gimli and clara! craving: burgers first thing i notice about people: eyes or smile, everyone has such different unique eyes i love it

when did i create this blog: summer two years ago when i needed somewhere to express my love for far cry 5 what do i post: nowadays i mostly post dc, some oc stuff and generally whatever i’m into at the moment, rn it’s the mandalorian last thing googled: “the last of us troy baker” other blogs: i used to have like 3 sideblogs but i couldn’t handle it haha so now i just have this one do i get asks: i do from time to time! i just take waaaay too long to answer them hence why this one is so long asdfhjdsl why i chose my url: i have too much love for harley followers: too many that’s for sure

favorites colors: orange, yellow, pink, blue, red, black bands: first aid kit, saint motel, unloved, roza,  the limiñanas, mother mother, bear’s den   solo artists: zella day, jacqueline taieb, billie eilish, kaleo   songs: cowboy like me - taylor swift, roller girl - anna karina, black madonna - cage the elephant, benny goodman- saint motel, bang bang - nancy sinatra author: honestly couldn’t name any authors right now animal noises: cat chirps when they see a bird or something ice cream: chocolate chip cookie dough

last time i cried: last night out of stress last book: this is so bad but i cannot remember alfdsjsl last movie:  last song: broken parable - bear’s den last show: game of thrones dream job: can i just say nothing? i don’t dream of working dream trip: all around europe. particularly england, ireland, france, the netherlands and italy lucky number: don’t think i have one! instruments: i used to know how to play piano in middle school but i quit because it was too stressful for me to keep up with piano homework and school homework, i regret that now though top three fictional universes i'd like to live in: first thing that came to mind was the ghibli-verse, everything is beautiful and mystical and the food always looks amazing what more could you want. harry potter would be cool too because magic, i was thinking about that a while ago and if i were in the harry potter universe i would absolutely want to work with magical creatures. and for number 3 i think would be the dc universe, it sounds awful in theory but like i want super powers and to hang out with the heroes and stuff so i’ll take it have any kids?: heavens no, don’t think i’ll make it long enough to have em use sarcasm a lot?: i do when i’m like talking to myself akhfjhs i try not to around people i don’t know well though because i don’t want to weird them out or make them uncomfortable scary movies or happy endings: happy endings all the way, my life is basically a scary movie so enough of that thanks play any sports?: never and i ain’t about to start anytime soon coffee or tea: coffee but i guess it does depend on the type of tea, if it’s raspberry hibiscus sign me the heck up random: i wish i could get back the feeling of intense joy i had watching the mandalorian for the first time, i was on an all time high and i miss it, nothing could touch me i watched it like 6 times over and over again after i finished it aesthetic: pink and red heart patterns, bright colorful converse with an all black outfit, anything sparkly, plants everywhere, too much blush on, fake freckles, soft curly hair, a layer of cat fur on every piece of clothing, iced coffees all day long, loud music on late at night, pink pink pink, dark circles under eyes, candles on every surface, a million different kinds of pens, stacks of notebooks everywhere all unused, either pink/blue or red/black a la harley quinn

10 songs i’ve been listening to lately:

one way or another - blondie

why do you love me - charlotte lawrence

all of the spirited away soundtrack

crazy train - zella day

long story short - taylor swift

mindplay - roza

magdalene - bear’s den

el paso - marty robbins

bonnie and clyde - brigitte bardot, serge gainsbourg

votre coté yéyé m'emmerde - the limiñanas

my url in song titles: Happiness - taylor swift Alcatraz - oliver riot  Rebel heart - first aid kit Lonely gun - cyn Elenore - the turtles Easy livin’ - uriah heep No time to die - billie eilish Queen bitch - david bowie Ultraviolence - lana del rey I could tell you but i’d have to kill you - unloved Na na na (na na na na na na na na na) See me fly - roza Everybody knows - leonard cohen Leave me alone - idkhow

[buzzdixonwriter]

ALPHAVILLE

Alphaville is a film you must watch.

Not “watch” in the conventional sense, where you passively sit and let sound and image wash over you, the type of slickly made / often entertaining mainstream factory pap that explains the plot points every fifteen minutes for anybody who went to the bathroom / checked their phone / nodded off in the interim.

“Watch” in the sense you must follow it close, actively paying attention to what unspools before you.

It is not a difficult film to follow, but you’ll be lost if you blink.

Alphaville the motion picture can be described several different ways.

One way -- the most common way, the easiest to reduce down to a simple logline -- is the producers of the Lemmy Caution movies (a European version of the Sam Spade / Philip Marlowe type of private eye character) threw caution to the wind and asked then La Nouvelle Vague wunderkind Jean-Luc Goddard to direct the next installment of the character’s adventures, resulting in a weird / off beat combination of film noir and sci-fi.

This would be like the Shaft franchise asking David Lynch to direct an entry.

Another way -- and in my view, far more accurate yet more difficult to explain -- is that Alphaville is a series of discussions on philosophy / theology / poetry covered with a dream-like patina of surreal tough guy antics.

Goddard, a film and pop culture maven since childhood, wisely mixes science fiction with stereotypical private eye tropes to bring these discussions to life.

The science fiction aspect is the first and foremost element, but the world of the private eye is needed to make Alphaville complete.

Science fiction enables Goddard to bring deep philosophical questions up to the surface by couching them in sci-fi terms that let them be treated as concrete concepts instead of abstract ideals.

Alphaville isn’t the first film to do that, not by a long shot, but the challenge in using sci-fi to discuss big ideas is that the spectacle of the genre may overpower the theme, the form triumphing over the content.

Metropolis, as superlative as it is, is a prime example of that.

Goddard’s stroke of genius lay in double filtering his message through the stereotypes and cliches of private eye fiction.  Eddie Constantine’s Lemmy Caution is brutish and confrontational but uses that as a physical shield to protect a very human soul.  This enables Goddard, through the character, to anchor the flighty intellectual aspects of the story in a grim and gritty reality that filmgoers could readily identify with.

Even at its most grim and gritty points, Alphaville continues to play with pop culture, tongue firmly in cheek in the manner in which it examines its questions, but like a prophetic parable carrying a far deeper and more profound meaning than apparent on first blush.

The plot is very pulpish, suitable for either Planet Stories or Black Mask Detective.

Caution, posing as a journalist for Figaro-Pravada but actually secret agent 003, arrives at Alphaville, the capital of a far distant planet (or galaxy; Goddard either not knowing or not caring about the difference and using the terms interchangeably throughout the film).

Alphaville appears identical to Paris of 1965, and indeed references in the dialog suggest the story is taking place in the very near future.

Ostensibly there to do a story on Alphaville, in reality he’s tracking down two men:  Professor Vonbraun (Howard Vernon), an American scientist formerly known as Nosferatu who has gone to Alphaville and established himself as the de facto human face and hands of Alpha 60, the computer that runs the society; or failing that, locating Henri Dickson (Akim Tamiroff), a previous Earth secret agent sent after Vonbraun who apparently vanished.

Caution’s mission is to return Vonbraun / Nosferatu or kill him; his superiors are aware Vonbraun is guiding Alpha 60 to launch a massive war against the rest of the galaxy.  (Why Alpha 60 thinks this war is a good idea comprises the true heart of the picture.)

Caution is met soon after his arrival by Natacha Vonbraun (Anna Karina), a computer programmer for Alpha 60 and the (apparently adopted) daughter of Professor Vonbraun.  She unintentionally manages to arrange an encounter between Caution and Vonbraun, resulting in Caution being targeted for first interrogation then recruitment by Vonbraun and Alpha 60.

If you’ve never heard of Alphaville before this, you may be imagining this in grandiose Blade Runner style, but Goddard wanted his film grounded in reality so he shot using real locations, no special effects (other than the screen images turning negative in a few instances), and no elaborate props or costumes.

Alphaville literally is Paris of 1965, and the soulless laboratories and indoctrination centers and police stations are what was then mid-century modern architecture.  

What makes Alphaville the society so alien is that Vonbraun through Alpha 60 turned the world into a completely logical / unemotional civilization.  Goddard combines nods to Russian Communism, Orwell’s 1984, and French existentialism to shape the society of Alphaville, at first glance seemingly so like our world, but soon revealed in word and gesture to be radically different.

Gene Roddenberry got logical civilizations all wrong with the planet Vulcan.  A logical civilization would not become a world of high minded aesthetics but rather of haunted, empty human souls using sensuality in lieu of spiritual values.

Despite its supposedly logical / non-individualistic nature, Alpha 60 acts to preserve itself.  It relentlessly controls the population through language and censorship, hammering down any outbursts of individuality or spiritual leanings (spiritual here expanded to more than conventional religion).

This desire for self-preservation, fueled and guided by Vonbraun, manifests itself in its plans for galactic war aimed at subjugating all other planets so that they may never threaten Alpha 60 (the film leaves as a far question which came first, the egg of Alpha 60’s antagonistic plans, or the hen of the other planets sending agents like Caution to thwart them).

Goddard was no computers expert and he made Alphaville long before artificial intelligence research moved from the theoretical to the practical, but he nonetheless raises an interesting issue:  Alpha 60’s oppressive nature is clearly hardwired into its cybernetics by Vonbraun, yet Alpha 60 displays enormous curiosity in the very human traits it strives to eliminate while Vonbraun feels so sure of himself as Alpha 60’s chief architect that he fails to realize his creation is truly thinking for itself, not following the guidance he programmed in.

Much of the philosophical inquiry in Alphaville centers on religion, but here Goddard doesn’t use “religion” in the conventional term of a set of dogmas and creeds too often followed blindly and slavishly by the uninquisitive and the superstitious, but in the difference between philosophy and theology.

Theology is best described as a sub-set of philosophy dedicated to things of the spirit (i.e., abstract, not necessarily supernatural).  It reflects how we think and feel about unknowable and unprovable concepts. 

Philosophy and ethics can be tested; we can see if the golden rule is a viable philosophy to follow, we can judge if one view of how the world works is more accurate than another.

As stated, the key difference is that philosophy never presumes to postulate a final answer, and when it offers an insight it never claims that insight represents absolute reality.

Plato’s Allegory of the Cave is philosophy because it reflects a view of reality never meant to be taken literally; far too often religious devotees insist their parables be taken literally and at face value, not any deeper, more meaningful one. Caution defeats Alpha 60 in the end by luring the computer into a trap of its own devising.  Unable to grasp why humans value love and emotion and things of the spirit, it searches for meaning where it can find none because as advanced as it is, it cannot intuitively grasp their importance.

Alpha 60 realizes it is a little tin god, and in its futile attempt to elevate itself to the next level ends up destroying the very fabric of Alphaville’s social order.

Caution drives Natacha away from Alphaville to safety in the end, cautioning her like Lot’s wife not to look back.  Natacha responds with a tentative expression of emotion:  "Je vous aime" (and notice the use of the formal vous instead of the more intimate tu, she is starting to regain her humanity but a long road remains ahead of her).

In terms of execution, Alphaville is an extremely economical looking film (as well it should be since everything was shot on existing locations using the light weight cameras the French New Wave loved so dearly).  The alienness comes across in the societal mannerisms, the elliptical dialog, and the odd juxtapositions found in the city.

Case in point:  The phrase "I'm very well, thank you, you're welcome.  Don’t mention it" is repeated frequently in the film.  

At first it sounds like a typical social bromide, but as it is used again and again it takes on a more ominous, then sinister meaning.

It is not a polite thanks and dismissal but a warning, both to others and the speaker, not to entertain certain ideas.

Alpha 60 tries to control the citizens of Alphaville by controlling the language, banning certain words, changing the meanings of others.  Characters refer to looking something up in the Bible more than once in the film, but only later is it revealed the Bible of Alphaville is a dictionary, and the salvation found within is the accepted language of the day.

The film maintains a dream-like quality throughout.  Like most dreams, it certainly carries a strong, realistic feel yet at the same time is populated by surreal events and juxtapositions.

This dream-like quality plays well off the stereotypical private eye derring-do.  Hard boiled shenanigans pop up almost randomly yet oddly not unexpectedly throughout the film viz Caution getting involved in a fist / gun fight with a hotel detective trying to spy on him as a “seductress third class” attempts to seduce him.  It’s less than a minute of wild slam bang action and then it’s dismissed as if it never occurred, with Caution and the seductress continuing their cat and mouse game.

The film juxtaposes the opulent hotel lobby where Caution first checks in with the seedy rundown hotel lobby where he finds Dickson.  The latter seems scarcely larger than Dickson’s seedy room, yet is crowded with its own staff (each engaged in some impossible to define task) and its own seductress third class waiting for clientele.

One of the most iconic scenes in Alphaville are the executions.  Rebels against Alpha 60 (i.e., people who read =gasp!= poetry) walk out on a diving board over a swimming pool and are shot while making their last statement.

As they fall in the water a line of bathing beauties dive in, swim over, and drawing knives administer the coup de grace to the victim by repeatedly stabbing them underwater.

Which, incidentally, brings us to another point we need to acknowledge:  How Goddard, Alphaville the film, and Alphaville the society treat women.

From our perspective almost 60 years later, we can look back at Alphaville and excuse its depiction of women by saying it was simply parodying the style of private eye movies of the era.

Which is true…but not enough.

Both French culture at that time and movies in general did not present what we’d consider an enlightened view of gender politics, and the females of Alphaville are all there for eye candy.

In some cases it works:  The aforementioned synchronized bathing beauty executioners are so ludicrous as to be funny in a grim way, yet there are no other non-eye candy female characters to balance them out (there is a female cab driver, certainly unusual casting for a mid-1960s film, but she’s as gorgeous as all the other women).

And while one gets the idea behind each hotel employing professional seductresses (as an amenity in the world of Alphaville, as a commentary on the commodification of human relations in the film), today our reaction is more along the lines of “Is this really necessary?”

Far be it for me to tell Jean-Luc Goddard how to make movies, but it seems there could be half a dozen or more alternative ideas that would get the same point across without reducing women to this role.

Even Anna Karina’s Natacha gets subjugated to this mindset, serving mostly as a tour guide until the end of the film where she finally starts engaging more directly with the central conflict.

It’s not a comfortable look today, but we can live with it when viewed as a commentary on the style of the era.  Compared with the Bond movies or almost any counter-culture film of the 1960s, it’s hardly the worst offender.

Here’s where I’m supposed to wrap things up and tell you to go watch the movie.

Okay, go watch the movie.

I’m not going to be hyperbolic and proclaim Alphaville a great movie because it’s a film set so far apart from the mainstream of cinema and the genres it mashed up that it’s not even an apples and oranges comparison but more like apples and the sound of autumn rain on the roof.

But seriously, you need to watch this movie.

    © Buzz Dixon

[punjabiolympia]

20 Best Female Fitness Models Of 2020

There are actually so many superb feminine fitness fashions on the market that we couldn’t probably embody everybody on our record. However, we did discover among the many hottest and influential ladies at the moment (however don’t be mad in case your favourite wasn’t included). These hotties are completely doing their factor and all have fairly huge followings on Instagram/social media. So, right here’s our record of common feminine fitness fashions (take pleasure in)! 1. Kayla Itsines First up is Australian private coach Kayla Itsines. This 28-year-old can also be an writer and entrepreneur who based a collection of fitness ebooks known as Bikini Body Guides (BBG). She additionally created the app, Sweat with Kayla, which was probably the most profitable fitness app of 2016. Itsines is vastly common on social media, boasting a powerful 12.5 million followers on Instagram. She was additionally named 30 most influential individuals on the Internet by Time’s, and identifies herself as Greek on account of her household heritage. Itsines can also be definitely among the many wealthiest fitness figures with over $60 million. 2. Sommer Ray An completely gorgeous fitness mannequin from the U.S., this 23-year-old has discovered unparalleled success with 24.9 million Instagram followers to show it. This tops our record for Instagram followers. She additionally owns a clothes model (Sommer Ray Collection) and is getting extra common by the day. 3. Michelle Lewin If we’re speaking about feminine fitness fashions then Michelle Lewin positively belongs within the dialog. This beautiful influencer positively is aware of what she’s doing relating to constructing a head-turning physique. Lewin began off working at a Venezuela clinic and doubtless by no means would have thought she’d blow up how she did. Now she’s one of the recognizable faces who has been on the duvet of a number of high-profile fitness magazines together with Sports & Fitness, Her Muscle & Fitness, and Iron Man. She’s at the moment based mostly in South Florida. Oh… and also you would possibly keep in mind the time she was bitten within the butt by a pig on the seashore throughout a photoshoot. 4. Jen Selter Top feminine fitness mannequin and web superstar Jen Selter is simply 26 years outdated however she has made fairly the title for herself. Her ardour for fitness began in highschool when she labored on the entrance desk of a fitness center. She discovered figuring out to be a technique to relieve stress and earlier than she knew it, she would pave the best way for different social media influencers. Selter apparently performed a component in popularizing the “belfie” or butt selfie and her signature “Seltering” poses. She has additionally been featured in a number of publications comparable to Women’s Health, Vanity Fair, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and Elite Daily. Other notable accomplishments embody being acknowledged as a prime fitness influencer by Forbes in 2017. She’s additionally the co-owner for BlendJet (moveable blenders) and founding father of @couplegoals. 5. Paige Hathaway Definitely one of many extra common feminine fitness fashions, Paige Hathaway started her journey in 2011. Hathaway is from Minnesota initially and has achieved such enormous success through the years. Although, her childhood was tough coping with the divorce of her mother and father and custody points. But she went on to do fairly nicely for herself, competing in Bikini, showing in magazines, and raking in 7 figures a year, making her one of many highest-paid fitness fashions. 6. Ana Cheri Besides having a really profitable modeling profession, Ana Cheri can also be a fitness center proprietor, actress, and host with a following of 12.5 million on Instagram. Cheri was additionally a options Playmate mannequin in 2015, citing the next about gym-spiration… “You have to start somewhere. If the gym seems intimidating, try an outdoor sport. Every little bit counts.” 7. Anllela Sagra Anllela Sagra has a killer physique that she isn’t shy about displaying off. Her determine has acquired lots of consideration from prime names within the trade and earlier than she turned actually common, she was a vogue design pupil who would mannequin (vogue) just a few instances per week. But she turned very severe about fitness and needed to compete, of which she positioned third at her first competitors. Sagra’s transfer to the US from Columbia was apparently one of the best transfer the 26-year-old made as a result of it paid off huge time! Here’s an inspiring quote from the bio on her web site… “In life there is no such thing as luck, there are only opportunities and it is your decision whether or not to take a chance on them. I decided to take it and risk everything, lose everything and just jump into the world of possibilities and the truth is that it was the best decision I ever made in my life.” 8. Eva Andressa It’s fairly apparent Eva Andressa works her butt off to rock that sort of physique and he or she positively deserves the popularity. Of course, she used to compete professionally which is smart. Her most notable accomplishments embody… 2008 Brasil, Bodyfitness, 1st 2009 Brazilian National champion, Bodyfitness The 35-year-old Brazilian mannequin has 5.6 million Instagram followers and actually noticed success after showing on the superstar TV present in Brasil – Programa do Jo. Andressa went on to have her personal present in 2015 known as Dica Fitness of which she interviews well-known athletes. 9. Katya Elise Henry Based in Miami, Florida, Katya Elise Henry has actually bought it happening. She’s additionally a WBFF Pro in addition to a coach and mannequin who has impressed and helped to rework so many individuals across the globe. Here’s a bit of the bio from her web site Workouts by Katya… “My journey started when I was at a place probably very similar to where you are right now. I knew how I wanted to look, and I knew that I really wanted to look like that, but I didn’t know where to start. Workouts By Katya was born out of my motivation to inspire and empower everyone to be their best. My vision is to provide you with the best workout programs and information to allow you to be your very best. I was blessed with a Mom who is an amazing personal trainer, and a Dad who has always been involved in sports and weight training. Growing up, I was always active and generally fit. My childhood dream was to be a cheerleader, and I pursued this goal until it was achieved when I turned 18! As I grew older, I started to develop an understanding of the way I wanted to look. My main sources of motivation came from my mom and sister, but also from myself. I know that my fitness journey will never stop – improvement is constant and never-ending!” 10. Karina Elle Karina Elle is on each feminine fitness mannequin crush record. She’s a former athlete and Bikini competitor having received the World Fitness Federation Pro Bikini Championship. The half Asian/half European mannequin is thought for her slender and athletic physique standing at 5’11 tall. She discovered a ton of success in her 20’s and has grow to be one of the in-demand feminine fitness fashions. Elle additionally has her personal web site for training and galvanizing. 11. Emily Skye Personal coach and fitness mannequin Emily Skye based Emily Skye FIT which is the end result of her years being concerned within the trade. But she needed to do extra and now how a web based program consisting of every part ladies have to be more healthy and extra FIT. Emily Skye can also be the co-founder of a cosmetics model James cosmetics. And she’s at the moment anticipating a child boy… 12. Anna Nystrom Anna Nystrom is a well being/fitness/life-style YouTuber from Sweden with 8.6 million followers on Instagram. She skilled just a few setbacks whereas finding out for design and vogue on account of well being points. However, she was capable of flip issues round by studying about well being and fitness which led to her changing into a private coach and the remainder was historical past. Nystrom developed a ardour for social media and used these platforms to encourage so many individuals. She was additionally capable of observe her ardour for design and vogue by launching the exercise clothes line Ryvelle® in 2018. 13. Bru Luccas Brazilian mannequin Bru Luccas went from McDonald’s employee to common fitness determine and enterprise proprietor. She’s additionally one half of a duo together with her sister known as Body & Sisters on Instagram. There’s no approach she wouldn’t belong on this record… 14. Lauren Drain Lauren Drain has one of the fascinating tales on the market that she become a e-book, and have become a New York Times bestseller. She’s a Registered Nurse, private coach, and Bikini Pro who owns her personal enterprise. Despite her unlucky early years the place she was pressured to evolve to a cult, she’s achieved amazingly nicely and is fortunately married. 15. Gracyanne Barbosa Gracyanne Barbosa is a Brazilian fitness mannequin and Carnaval dancer who started her rise to stardom after monetary points led her to pursue dancing and modeling. She posed for Playboy Brazil within the February 2007 subject after which caught the eye of many after a video was shared of her squatting round 450 lbs. The authenticity of the weights used was positively in query however her reputation has risen considerably. 16. Tammy Hembrow Australian-born Tammy Hembrow most just lately posted a fairly racy photograph that caught the eye of the media. And she isn’t afraid to point out what she has labored for. She’s a mom of two at age 26 and began her private model in 2015 and seeks to show ladies reside a more healthy and healthier life-style. Hembrow has 11.Three million Instagram followers and over 1 million YouTube subscribers. 17. Amanda Lee Canadian fitness mannequin Amanda Lee is admittedly shy, nevertheless, that hasn’t stopped her from making her presence recognized. She was very skinny in her youthful years of which she despised however due to her mom who was a private coach, Lee was capable of finding herself and her ardour. She then rose to fame on Instagram after a well-known dancer tagged her and earlier than she knew, the followers and alternatives began to flood in. 18. Brooke Ence A former prime CrossFit competitor who positioned 14th on the 2015 CrossFit Games, Brooke Ence is as spectacular as they arrive. So a lot so actually, that she has had some fairly good success with appearing. Ence has had roles within the movies Wonder Woman (2017), Justice League (2017), and Black Lightning (2018). The Utah native was all the time athletic and aggressive which appeared to essentially repay. Ence stated she was making a comeback to CrossFit competitors in 2020 seeing how common she is, that might be an thrilling build-up for her and followers. 19. Heidi Somers Also generally known as BuffBunny, Heidi Somers is a fitness competitor and mannequin. Somers wasn’t all the time match… or wholesome. In reality, when she lived in her home state of Alaska, she hit all-time low on account of relationships, her job, and her well being habits. So she relocated to Texas and have become concerned with CrossFit earlier than transitioning right into a deal with increase her physique of which she competed within the NPC. And by seems to be of issues, she didn’t waste her potential. 20. Anna Victoria Concluding our record, Anna Victoria started her fitness journey in 2012 with no information of get match and little or no understanding of correct vitamin. She had some well being issues which meant it was much more crucial for her to learn to reverse this and grow to be her healthiest. Fast ahead to 2015 and he or she was altering lives which led to growing her Fit Body Guides and the Fit Body App. Wrapping Up We actually hope you loved our record of 20 common feminine fitness fashions for 2020. Again, you might have a special opinion based mostly on ladies who’ve impressed you. But we selected some huge names that we all know have completed quite a bit. And you by no means know, you would possibly simply discover some new inspiration. Read the full article

[secretradiobrooklyn]

SECRET RADIO | Sept.5.20

“Crosscountry Rabbithole” curated in the van on a drive between Brooklyn and the countryside of Illinois on Labor Day Weekend 2020 (Hear it here.)

As there’s still very much a pandemic going on, we really didn't want to stop overnight if we didn’t have to on our drive from New York to Illinois, so after we exhausted the fantastic Saturday NPR lineup we figured a great way to stay awake was compiling the second issue of WBFF. You’ll hear a lot of the African and tropical vibe from last week, plus more French yé-yé and Europe in general. Here’s the track list, and of course, detailed notes below: 

WBFF, édition 2,  5.SEP.20

1. Michel Polnareff - La lezione del capellone

Le Beatnik is one of Paige’s all-time favorite songs — the guitar is just such a rad riff, and it was a real debate on which version to put on, the French version of the Italian, and we figured we didn’t have much Italian yet… plus check out how he rolls his Rs! That’s one thing about the major hitters of French pop in the ‘60s — they all sing in different languages. (Keep an ear out for France Gall later!)

2. Antoine Dougbé - Honton Soukpo Gnos

Dougbé just hit us like a ton of bricks — these arrangements are completely perfect to our ears. So detailed, and with super funk and super Velvet Underground tones at the same time (check out the freakin guitar solo, and guitar outro), plus of course a Beninese pulse that is just unstoppable. This one was produced, uncredited, by Melomé Clement, and Dougbé isn’t the singer, he’s the composer.

3. The Velvet Underground - Cool It Down

The guitar tones here come so naturally out of the T.P. Orchestre sound. There’s plenty of stuff he’s saying that I don’t understand, and he’s saying it in English.  

4.  Ranil - Ranil y Su Conjunto Tropical - Licenciado

This is another Analog Africa release, with a fantastic album cover. Paige dove into it and soon found that she was checking every day to see if the vinyl was out, cos it was under 300 copies and falling. It’s got a parrot on the cover that looks like the Greenwood parakeets. This song is how she learned that she loves cumbia music.

5. T.P. Orchestre Poly Rythmo - Trop Parler C’est Maladie

The guitar launches into these endless patterns that wind around an unknown number of percussionists. Everyone feels so fluid together. “Trop parler c’est maladie”: “Too much talking is bad,” literally, which Paige imagines as essentially meaning, “Let’s stop talking and make out.” But we don’t really know.

    The way the voices layer together when they’re singing, and then the guitar rises into the spaces between them, twisting and winding and droning and melodizing, is just completely mesmerizing. This incredible guitarist is Papillon, and he died in 1982. What a huge loss — he plays so eloquently and so conversationally.

6. Janka Nabay & the Bubu Gang - Somebody

I learned about Janka Nabay by hearing that he had just died. Listening to KDHX, the DJ (Caron House?) said she was sorry to hear about his passing and put on this song and I had to stop driving so I could just listen to all of the patterns crossing. I sure would have loved to see this band perform live — I feel like this is a specific reason we want to be in NYC, to meet people with capabilities I hadn’t previously known existed and work together.

7. Anna Karina - Roller Girl

Our friends Phil and Archie are an intercontinental love affair. When Phil tries to express an American accent, it’s always dripping with RRRRRs. This song feels like that, a French singer dramatically unrolling her Rs like she’s messing with her English teacher.

8. Wells Fargo - Watch Out

We believe we first heard about Wells Fargo from a Snap Judgment episode. It’s really great, starting with how they picked the name from the side of a stagecoach in a Western movie as a completely random phrase.

9. Patrick Coutin - J’aime regarder les filles

This song — this pretty freakin radical recording — became a huge hit in France in 1981 and apparently served as the soundtrack of that period. It was his big hit.

That main phrase he keeps repeating translates to “I like to watch girls on the beach,” which gets weirder and sometimes creepier with each pass.

10. Jacques Dutronc - Les cactus

Credit to Pandora for bringing us Jacques Dutronc! He sounds like Bob Dylan on a lot of songs, but he doesn’t seem to be the Dylan of France — that would be more like Serge Gainsbourg. But we could be wrong about that too. He’s also longtime partners with Francoise Hardy, which made them two of the hottest and hippest and most talented musicians of the ’60s.  

Clip from Diablo Menthe 

This is the clip of the schoolkids that we told you about, singing the Sylvie Vartan song from last week.

11. El Rego - Zon Dede

One of our main appreciations now is how deeply and broadly and internationally James Brown hit the ’60s and ’70s. People seemed to be struck by him and his approach planetwide, and it shows up like a shockwave through the whole era. This is Benin’s El Rego (thanks to Analog Africa once more for pointing him out), and his whole character seems to be in conversation with James Brown, shouting at each other from opposite sides of the world.

12. T.P. Poly-Rythmo, Bentho Gustave - Iya Me Dji Ki Bi Ni

The level of simultaneous groove and drone happening here is just unstoppable. This song has a sound I feel like I’ve always been looking for, not to play but just to dance and freak out to. Bentho Gustave is T.P. Poly-Rythmo’s bassist. We just got his headlining album on vinyl, so amazing!

13. Cambodian Rocks 1 - Yol Aularong - Jeas Cyclo (Ride Cyclo)

It’s amazing to think about how many sudden collisions of American and Cambodian experiences there were in the ’60s — so many disastrous ones, but also whatever combination of factors lead to the existence of this music. It’s so incredibly skilled and smooth, and I want to know more about who made this and how.

14. Adriano Celentano - Prisencolinensinainciusol

Don’t miss the videotape version of the live TV version via YouTube. Celentano is an Italian singer, but this is him tweaking Americans with a songful of non-English English.

15. France Gall - Der Computer Nr. 3

Another example of French pop multilingualism. One of Paige’s favorite voices, just throwing herself into the melodies all casual and easy breezy. We found out about this song because Paige was listening to a bunch of Quebecois radio, and they were talking about her, and they were playing a bunch of clips of her performing, including this one. It turned out that she had just passed on. We had to find it find this track.

16. Saigon Rock and Soul - Thành Mái - Tóc Mai Sợi Vắn Sợi Dài (Long, Uneven Hair)

What a vocal performance! Everything about the tones and melody of this recording — voice, organ, guitar — make it feel like a dream of hardcore hippie rock, minus even one shred of San Francisco. Every time I hear this song hit its crescendo I am completely in its thrall.

17. Ofege - It’s Not Easy

So these guys are from Lagos, Nigeria, and were in high school when they recorded this. Which is just freakin perfect. It sounds like enthusiasm and bad gear and good voices and that singular feeling of being sixteen and having a stone blast.

18. Avolonto Honore et l’Orchestre Poly-Rythmo de Cotonou - Sètché Wêda

It took some time for us to find this song. This version is from an album we found online, but it also exists on an Analog Africa album. The hand drums locked in with the guitar lick for the verse get so deep when the other voices come in. And the cascading guitar riff creates a sudden electric waterfall, while the horns point straight over to jazz and western rock and soul.

19. Ranil y su Conjunto Tropical - Marlenita

Paige became completely smitten with this album, which we found after getting caught up in an album promising Peruvian chichidelica.

20. National Wake - Everybody Loves Freedom

When I started looking for African punk, I found this set of videos of National Wake and pretty much all of them are this good. They’re a Black and white band (the first?) from South Africa in apartheid ’70s and the rock and punk that they make overflows with feeling. There’s a documentary called Punk in Africa that clearly needs watching.

21. English Beat - Mirror in the Bathroom

The live version of this song really amps up the energy from the studio version I’m used to. This song always makes me think of my friend Audrey, who made me a mixtape when I was just a wee twig, and this was one of the songs that broke through and made a lasting impression. I think of her every time.

22. Fela Kuti - Roforofo Fight

“Translation from the original English hrm hrm hrm”

This song structure is so very cool, where he’s kind of playing around, setting the stage, warming up his story, and then the horns crash in with a shocker part, which gives away to this cartoonish, endlessly repeating horn phrase, like a piece of early Disney footage on repeat. Also like loop-based recordings that were still more than a decade in the future. This is one of my favorite versions of Fela, where he’s exploding with a new self and a new mode of music.

23. Fela Ransome Kuti and His Koola Lobitos - Ololufe

Now some time travel - this is from a collection of earliest Fela Kuti, when he’s in a completely different mode, more in the high life and samba form. He and his band are playing in a crowd-pleasing style, and it’s really very beautiful, with gorgeous vocals and horn passages. But this is also all prelude to Fela Anikulapo Kuti, a character we haven’t even glimpsed yet when this song was recorded.

24. William Onyeabor - Atomic Bomb

We really don’t know much about this song except that it seems to always show up at just the right time — or maybe its presence just makes the time right.

25. Assa Cica - Tinma Sa Le

We were down a different rabbithole when we saw this video appear that we couldn’t pass up. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rpI09vbq_Q) It’s a long and winding song that was one of Assa Cica’s most notable hits in Benin.

I love the three slapped notes in the middle of the song that never come back — that’s the way to slap. The bass throughout this song, but especially in the choruses, is exceptional, telling its own separate story but staying in relation with the vocals. And Paige’s favorite part of the melody is the bridge.

We just learned that Assa Cica died on May 22 of this year. It feels so strange to fall hard for a person’s music just as they leave the stage for good. (See also Janka Nabay.) It also feels good to realize you’ve already become part of a musician’s music living and giving beyond their own lives.

——

…And now we are safely arrived in the woods of Illinois. Time for a whole bunch of screenprinting and music listening!

[exceedingabnormality]

I am Fat and I am Worthy

I’m Fat. I happen to use this word as a self-descriptor, and I don't say it to put myself down, and I certainly don't say it in hopes that someone will say, 'Oh no, you're not fat!' Because that's the thing, nobody says to a tall person, 'Oh, you're not tall!' And, nobody says that because 'tall' is not a dirty word.

I was hosting a party at my home a few months ago, when a girl stood in front of me, that I had known for 10+ years, squeeze her stomach and say “God.. I am so fat” before bringing the dark bottle of beer back up to her lips. In my drunken-stupidness, I put down my drink and yelled “I’m the fattest bitch you know!” And stood with my hands on my hips. Her, and a few of her friends stopped and went “Oh no Honey! No no You’re so beautiful you’re not fat!” I laughed and shook my head and said “Exactly. I’m both” and walked away. This speaks wonders of where I am in my life. It speaks wonders about my self love journey and my hopes of where others could be.

My journey of self-love, is long and tiring and just like any other journey, you have setbacks and you have days where It’s not great, but it is possible.

You can’t have a self-love journey, without a self-hate journey as well. I don’t remember the first time I cried because someone at school called me fat, but I do have a memory of a boy in my fifth grade class, hitting me with his crutches, spitting on me down the aisle way on the bus mooing at me and telling me to, “Move, you fat cow.” I cried that day for a long time ( Thank you Austin Backas). I remember making a wish to be skinny on my birthday candles every year from age 11-16.

At 14-years-old, I started down the path of starvation and self-hate that manifested itself into my physical world, rather than just in my head and my heart . This went on for three years. There was a period of time, when I was 16 when I would starve myself, and then run until I couldn’t anymore. This was my way of forgetting my hunger. My size at age 16 was becoming a death sentence. With the mindset, I was living my life in, my doctor told me at my first appointment that I went to alone (16- years-old) that I was going to kill myself if I kept exercising the way I was without nutrition. At the time, this sounded like the perfect thing. To die trying to be beautiful. Now? I'm so glad I stopped. I'm so glad I'm here. I’m so glad I get to see the world as it is today

I wore a shaper for probably three years straight, every day. Whether I was wearing a nice dress or a t shirt, I wore a shaper that physically altered my body forever. I told myself I would look smaller if I wore it, and didn’t understand how much I was hurting myself. I started doing things I wouldn’t normally do.  I hid this from people close to me.

Most people didn’t notice the drastic drop in weight, they didn’t notice that I was finding every excuse in the book not to eat, and to avoid shopping. I avoided photos and events that would include me having to eat, or exercise around others because I knew I would overdo it. I used to get up early before my dad and go for runs, I would run and run in the cold air and I loved it, but I would do it to the point that I would vomit. I wouldn’t stop until then. It wasn't until the summer after my junior year that a friend noticed when we were at the beach and I was running up and down, we sat down in the sand and he turned to me and said “You’re dropping weight like crazy.” And I got a giant grin and said “30 pounds in 5 weeks!” His face fell, he noticed that I thought he was complimenting me. “That’s dangerous.” He said before shaking his head. This was the first time I was ever confronted about my self hate by a friend.

I dated a boy my senior year of high school, who was the first and last significant other who bruised my skin. When trying to end things, he grabbed me in the hallway and said “No one will ever care for you like I do” And I turned with a fist up and chuckled and said “That’s the point.” before I ripped my arm out of his grip. The purple bruise on my shoulder for weeks sparked a fire in me. It sparked an idea that I was worth more. He was popular, He told me how pretty I was when I did my makeup, and dressed up for him, and how nice I looked when I “tried”.  I came across a quote from Milk and Honey that reminds me of this time in my life (looking back on it 4 years later) "When you are broken and he has left you do not question whether you were enough the problem was you were so enough he was not able to carry it" and thank god he wasn’t able to carry it because She is.

At age 17, my girlfriend (still my better half to this day) noticed my shaper. She started to push and poke at the idea of me not wearing it. I shrugged it off and avoided the topic until my freshman year of college. I stopped wearing it. The last time I wore it casually, was my first day of freshman year. I occasionally wear my shaper now, when I’m going to a fancy dinner because sometimes It helps me feel good in a nice outfit, otherwise? I don’t wear it.

I’ll tell you what I do wear though, that helps me feel good: Crop tops, tight jeans, bralette, see through tops, cute underwear, bikinis, high heels, bright lipstick, body suits and many many other things. These are things that society has deemed to be appropriate for skinny women to wear, and what I say to that? Screw it. I love crop tops, and if ellensburg wasn’t so cold, I’d probably wear one every day.

At work, my manager came over to me and said “Maddie, your jeans are too tight” I looked down at my skinny jeans and back up to her and chuckled before biting my tongue. She went to the back room and I looked to my coworkers before laughing. Puzzled, they asked me what's wrong, and I told them what she had said before saying “You know, I wanted to say, yes I’m fat, my jeans are always going to be tight” and we all laughed together and compared how tight your jeans all were. It was nice, for once not to be told “Oh honey, you’re not fat!” It was nice to be accepted, and have my self-love and self awareness be accepted by those around me.

Newsflash, I know I’m fat. I know that I’m not going to fit in a size medium shirt, and I know I’m not going to fit in a size 10 jeans and no I can’t fit into your sweat pants at a sleepover, I have my own in the car don’t worry and no, I probably can’t borrow that hella cute top you just wore, but that’s okay! I Love my body the way it is, and so do my friends. I know my body is good, whether I’m in sweatpants, no makeup and my hair a mess or a ball gown, my body is good. My body is good in a sweater or no clothes at all. I am worthy.

I now am surrounded by some of the most genuine people on this earth. I am surrounded by people who encourage me to be better, and push me to be the most loving person I could be (Because man, who couldn’t love them?). So this is a thank you, to those people who push me every single day to love more, and smile more, and stand out more.

Thank you Cassie, Kyla, Moira, Emerson, Dennis, Tina, Tami, Don, Daniel, Ashlynn, Alex, Joshua, Annabelle, Rosa, Alex, Hailey, Holly, Haleigh, Sebastian, Maryssa, Aidan, Cecile, Kash, Madi, Melody, Cansen, Kevin, Clayton, Anna, Susannah, Jason, Karina, Makennah, Devyn, Sarah. And so many many more people in my beautiful life. You make life truly extraordinary, and I’m so glad for all of you.

I dream of a world, that me being loving of my body, and being positive about my “taboo” body is a thing of the past and that we will one day view everyone as worthy and good, but until then? I’ll just keep making sure that my world, is full of people who do exactly that.

[bestnicehub-blog]

Dancing With The Stars Announces The Expert Partners For The Cast Of Season 9

The season nine finale is only two weeks away and anticipation is building. Only five stars remain - Aaron Carter, Donny Osmond, Joanna Krupa, Kelly Osbourne and Mya - all for a mirror ball trophy. View them encounter some of the toughest dances yet, and make certain you cast your vote following tonight's display. But what Keara brings to the table is not another pretty encounter with a nice voice - it is, rather, a unique mixture of musical skills that are adept much beyond her years, matched with a serene, but youthful, vitality that keeps her relatable to audiences of all ages. With an R&B acoustic sound somewhat reminiscent of a younger feminine counterpart to Bruno Mars, Keara (or 'guitarprincesskeara' as she's recognized to her 3000+ subscribers on YouTube) is ready to bring a new edge to teenager pop music. I sat down with Keara just a few nights in the past before an outstanding performance supporting why not look here at the Concert For Our Future in Manville, New Jersey, exactly where she opened up about her dreams and objectives for her promising future in music.

Mya - This singer has been the hefty preferred since prior to the competitors even began. Her timing and footwork are precision-like and her companion Dmitry carries on to provide excellent choreography and routines. No way is she going home this 7 days.

Aaron Carter Meth

So that's what happened on Dancing with the Stars; another week of competitors is in the publications. I was amazed in a 'wow, I'm surprised' way with Louie Vito, Donny Osmond and Natalie Coughlin. I was amazed in a 'will of metal' way with Tom Hold off. I was happy to see Kelly Osbourne stage it back up again. So who goes house? Mercy states it ought to be the injured Tom Delay, who might well not be in a position to dance next 7 days in any case. But I'll say Debi Mazar, just simply because she was in the base two final 7 days. Now I confess that goes against my usual concept that instant survivors of the bottom two will be the beneficiary of additional votes the 7 days after their bottom two-ness, but I don't care. That's my prediction.

I began considering about my lack of enthusiasm and what was powering it. It wasn't a matter of no longer enjoying the expert dancers do what they do best. That enthusiasm was still there, despite mourning the reduction of Julianne Hough or the return of bad boys Alec Mazo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Judge verdict: Len, a vocal critic of any additional theatrics, said, "It's not essential to waste 20 bars sharpening my desk" adding that he was "very dissatisfied." Bruno Tonioli countered that remark with his personal take. "Cleanliness is next to godliness," he declared.

Aaron Carter And Hilary Duff

This is my plea to the producers to get their act back again with each other and give the viewers what they want - - enjoyable, drama, intrigue, comedy - - and, of program, great dancing. Deny us what we want and we will gladly capture "So You Think You Can Dance" instead. It never disappoints. Insanity exercise is the new revolution for home health and fitness produced by Shaun T. And this is a genuine fact, because many people have noticed genuine outcomes in just 60 days, without becoming forced to go to fitness centers or to take diet tablets. This program is a new brand name set of workouts that changed people's life. Now, I aaron carter drugs wager you inquire yourself who is this Shaun T and why you ought to take into thought his plan? It must be discouraging to dance nicely, however have been two times in the base two. Continue Reading and Karina Smirnoff have carried out nicely with the judges, but not with the voters. Final week, Carter showed maturity with his Argentine tango.

Is Aaron Carter Gay

The option to consist of Tom Delay in this cycle is questionable at very best. Whilst he proved to be charming in a self-effacing way, it was obviously not heading to have him very far. Furthermore, his dropping out of the competitors denied viewers one of their favorite professional dancers (Cheryl Burke). Co-hosts Tom Bergeron and Samantha opened the hour of the first Dancing with the Stars fall 2009 outcomes display by turning to head judge Len Goodman and requesting the judges' choose for the encore dance. Final night's surprise sleek swan of the ballroom Kelly Osbourne and Louie van Amstel delighted the crowd with their Viennese Waltz as soon as once more. I'm still so impressed with Kelly. I had, fairly actually, almost no anticipations for Kelly Osbourne on DWTS period nine. I believed she'd suck and I felt badly for poor Louie. But she's incredible and was amazing yet once more tonight.

Aaron Carter New Album

Q: You are a songwriter; you've labored with some amazing artists like Robbie Williams and Hilary Duff, who do you like pay attention to when you're not coaching? NFL star Michael Irvin and companion Anna Demidova were next up on DWTS with their Samba. Michael's really experienced a difficult time with the judging panels this season. The thing I value about Michael is his performer's coronary heart: He appears to have enjoyable each 7 days, even when he's nailed by Len, Carrie Ann and Bruno. That said, it believed their Samba lacked a small. It appeared sluggish and just not exactly what I'm utilized to seeing for the fashion of dance. Bruno said "sometimes you danced this like a tank" and proceeded to defeat him down. Ouch. Carrie Ann stated "I certainly think you have rhythm but you're dancing too little". Len stated "it's a hard dance for a large guy" and "I'm afraid it was a little bit disappointing". Oof. Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova's Dancing with the Stars Drop 2009 7 days three scores: five, four, five = 14. Who will be this period's worst dancer that inexplicably lasts until the finals? Who will go house initial? Who will fluster the judges by speaking back the most? Who will be the initial to pull out many thanks to a sequin-related damage? Share your predictions below.

[darronslaby-blog]

Dancing Takes Over Television

The first 7 days of Dancing with the Stars season nine is in the history publications, and there was a lot of action highlighted on tonight's first outcomes show. The cast of Broadway's musical smash The Lion King and Sean Kingston offered up performances, and there was a touching tribute to actor Patrick Swayze, who recently died of most cancers. And of program, no Dancing with the Stars outcomes display is total with an elimination: Two celebrities and their expert partners were despatched packing by show's finish. So now you want to know who went home on Dancing with the Stars! Study on for a full recap and the large reveals. It should be discouraging to dance well, however have been two times in the bottom two. YOURURL.com and Karina Smirnoff have carried out well with the judges, but not with the voters. Final week, Carter confirmed maturity with his Argentine tango.

Carrie Anne commented that while it was obvious he hadn't danced prior to, she liked that he revered the dance and display the pleasure of dancing, but he has to learn to use his heels.

Aaron Carter 2018

Melissa Joan Hart - Melissa carries on to enhance with every week, and her expert dancing partner Mark Ballas carries on to push her in exercises. Unless of course she has a complete disaster, do not look for her to go house in 7 days 4. He's probably 1 of the more promising celebrities on this period of "Dancing With the Stars," but he nonetheless has a ways to go prior to he's heading to reach ballroom royalty. His overall performance was enjoyable, energetic, but a little sloppy and rigid. He nonetheless scored a greater-than anticipated 22, which puts him in a good place early on. He also obtained a 10 from the team waltz, making him the top performer for the night. NFL star Michael Irvin and partner Anna Demidova had been subsequent up on DWTS with their Samba. Michael's really had a difficult time with the judging panels this season. The thing I value about Michael is his performer's heart: He seems to have enjoyable every 7 days, even when he's nailed by Len, Carrie Ann and Bruno. That stated, it believed their Samba lacked a little. It seemed slow and just not exactly what I'm utilized to viewing for the style of dance. Bruno said "sometimes you danced this like a tank" and proceeded to beat him down. Ouch. Carrie Ann stated "I definitely believe you have rhythm but you're dancing as well little". Len stated "it's a difficult dance for a big man" and "I'm afraid it was a little bit disappointing". Oof. Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova's Dancing with the Stars Drop 2009 week 3 scores: 5, four, 5 = fourteen.

Aaron Carter That'S How I Beat Shaq

Tomorrow evening's results show will get rid of one much more couple prior to Dancing with the Stars enters the playoffs. The featured visitor performer will be Susan Boyle and Michael Buble. Jerry Rice, Kenny Mayne and Stacy Kiebler will appear in the seasonal Dance Middle vignette to add some humor to the night. If you're a parent searching to entertain kids this Halloween, spice up the party with some age-appropriate, child-pleasant Halloween songs to maintain the party going. But what Keara delivers to the desk is not another fairly face with a nice voice - it is, rather, a distinctive mixture of musical skills that are adept much past her many years, matched with a serene, but youthful, vitality that retains her relatable to audiences of all ages. With an R&B acoustic audio relatively reminiscent of a younger feminine counterpart to Bruno Mars, Keara (or 'guitarprincesskeara' as she's known to her 3000+ subscribers on YouTube) is prepared to deliver a fresh edge to teen pop songs. I sat down with Keara just a couple of evenings ago prior to an outstanding performance supporting find more information at the Concert For Our Long term in Manville, New Jersey, where she opened up about her dreams and goals for her promising long term in music.

Aaron Carter Naked

Next we heard from the Dancing with the Stars season 9 professionals about the difficulties of breaking the celebs' poor habits. Meh heh. That must be enjoyable. We learned from Lacey Schwimmer that Mark Dacascos talks to himself much as well often, and Alec Mazo complained that Natalie Coughlin holds her breath as well frequently. What a shocking factor for a swimmer to do! Today's Dancing with the Stars 2009 Season nine announcement on Great Early morning America introduced the nation to its latest dancing icons. Some new solid members appear obvious, some are out popstar aaron carter of the blue - and 1 in specific is a little bit of a shock.

Aaron Carter The Doctors

Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova. Michael Irvin won 3 Tremendous Bowl rings while playing for the Dallas Cowboys. In 2007, Irvin was inducted into the Professional Soccer Corridor of Fame. He currently hosts his own radio show in Dallas for ESPN Radio. His companion Anna Demidova produced her DWTS debut in the celeb round of the Season 8 pro-dancer competition. She gained and clinched her place as a Season nine expert. She is also a 3-time professional dancing winner. With Irvin's charm and athleticism and Anna's 1st yr enthusiasm, this might be 1 couple to established the dance floor on fire. "Ghostbusters" by Ray Parker, Jr. The theme song to the well-liked film strike #1 in 1984 and stayed there for three months. It's nonetheless a well-liked song for Halloween festivities and events. Although the exception rather than the norm, some DWTS stars occasionally answer tweets from followers. Both design Kathy Ireland and Chelsie Hightower, 1 of the DWTS professionals, return selected tweets in spite of having thousands of followers.

[cheebagogambit-blog]

Dancing With The Stars Season 9 Week 8 Performances

The ninth period of Dancing with the Stars aired final evening and it is larger than at any time (actually). With 16 contestants, the producers the initial week's competitors into two components: the men and the women. Initial up: the males. It would be a disgrace if Coughlin and Mazo had been eradicated. Their typical rating leaves them tied for fourth location with find here and Karina Smirnoff. Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas are enhancing as are Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova.

Snowboarder Louie's smile on the dance flooring seemed like the ultimate representation of deer in headlights: he danced like a truck was about to hit him. Louie got some pretty significant praise from the judges, even if he did get known as a "little dancing hobbit" by Bruno. I guess Louie can dance all the way to The Shire with a score of 19, and with a very great impact on the team salsa.

Aaron Carter New Song

So, what do you believe? Do you have any favorite Halloween tunes that are not outlined? Be sure to consist of them by way of a remark at the base of this article. The marathon: The nine remaining partners danced concurrently for the initial marathon mambo. At stake: much more judges' points. The initial few tapped out obtained two points, whilst the final receives ten points. Michael Irving obtained a 23, which was the next lowest rating to be dished out by the Dancing with the Stars judges. Michael has improved significantly in the last two months. Will Michael's enhancement keep him out of tonights Dancing with the Stars double elimination round? Will Michael receive enough votes from the followers at home to keep him out of the dance off?

Aaron Carter Music

Ashley Hamilton was happy to be there he stated, son of George Hamilton and just attempting to follow in his father's footsteps. Companion Edyta Sliwinska wore an outfit that was extremely complementary and both looked dapper on the flooring, but Ashley also seemed extremely stiff. Total rating of 19. Dancing With the Stars fans are psyched about the large Season nine premiere. In the meantime, right here's a opportunity to get acquainted with the partners, weigh their probabilities for success, and capture up on the very newest DWTS news. Strap in simply because this looks to be a bumpy, however exciting period! But what Keara delivers to the table is not another pretty encounter with a good voice - it is, instead, a distinctive mixture of musical abilities that are adept far past her many years, matched with a serene, but youthful, vitality that retains her relatable to audiences of all ages. With an R&B acoustic sound somewhat reminiscent of a young female counterpart to Bruno Mars, Keara (or 'guitarprincesskeara' as she's aaron carter sooner or later recognized to her 3000+ subscribers on YouTube) is ready to bring a fresh edge to teen pop music. I sat down with Keara just a few nights in the past prior to an outstanding overall performance supporting click over here now at the Concert For Our Long term in Manville, New Jersey, exactly where she opened up about her dreams and goals for her promising future in songs.

Who Is Aaron Carter

Snowboarder Louie's smile on the dance floor looked like the ultimate illustration of deer in headlights: he danced like a truck was about to hit him. Louie got some pretty significant praise from the judges, even if he did get known as a "little dancing hobbit" by Bruno. I guess Louie can dance all the way to The Shire with a score of 19, and with a extremely fantastic impact on the team salsa. The final two components of the night had been "relay dances," in which 4 pairs of couples at a time competed, with the judges naming first through fourth location winners and awarding factors in accordance to placement. In the salsa relay, it was Donny Osmond, Ashley Hamilton ,Louie Vito and Chuck Lidell. Osmond obtained the highest from the judges.

Nick And Aaron Carter

Donny Osmond was a hit! His sister Marie was on back in period five of "Dancing With the Stars," and she produced it all the way to the final three regardless of becoming 1 of the weaker performers. Talent-wise he's probably stronger than Marie, and he has a fantastic capability to play the group. He finished his foxtrot with a twenty. During the group salsa, he was also effortlessly declared the winner. NFL star Michael Irvin and companion Anna Demidova were subsequent up on DWTS with their Samba. Michael's truly experienced a difficult time with the judging panels this season. The thing I value about Michael is his performer's coronary heart: He appears to have enjoyable every week, even when he's nailed by Len, Carrie Ann and Bruno. That stated, it thought their Samba lacked a small. It appeared sluggish and just not precisely what I'm used to seeing for the fashion of dance. Bruno said "sometimes you danced this like a tank" and proceeded to defeat him down. Ouch. Carrie Ann stated "I definitely think you have rhythm but you're dancing as well small". Len stated "it's a difficult dance for a large guy" and "I'm afraid it was a little bit disappointing". Oof. Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova's Dancing with the Stars Drop 2009 7 days 3 scores: five, 4, five = fourteen. Bruno said, "It was like watching a small dancing hobbit." He mentioned that Vito lacked fluidity and fell two times. From there Bergeron labeled Vito: Louie Frodo.

[buttboyfilms-blog]

very very proud of this 1

did so good on this mf paper

:P

this is prob my new fav movie of all time

jean luc godard’s vivre sa vie 1963 baby

replacing the likes of -

lotr: return of the king (2006-9) / transformers #1

-district 9 (2009)

-shawshank redemption (10-12)

-eternal sunshine (12-17)

lmao

here is the scene that we were assigned to analyze:::

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlBS3PmPfaI

also some baaaaaad news for all u buttheads out there this is prob my last post 4 like a while im going tree planting next friday til like august

                                    “A picture all unnoticed before”             Enunciatory Struggles and Brechtian Distance in Nana’s Dance

     Nana’s dance to Michel Legrand’s “Swing! Swing! Swing!” displays a crucial moment of self-realization for the female subject of Jean-Luc Godard’s Vivre sa Vie (1962). If only for the duration of the song, she is able to detach from the patriarchal constraints determining her narrative. With unbridled bodily exuberance, Nana’s dance insists on an enduring “specialness” irreducible to the role of selfless prostitute. Analogous to her diegetic counterpart, Anna Karina’s performance seems to refuse the determining power of the camera, denying a full subsumption into Godard’s character. Karina’s dance liberates her from the diegesis, resulting in a disembodied point of view shot, symptomatic of Brechtian verfremdungseffekt. As the jukebox plays, lines drawn between the gendered, transactional relationships of pimp-prostitute and director-actress are blurred to the point of dissolution. While stressing the interconnectedness of filmmaking and prostitution, the scene of Nana’s dance asserts a vision of resilient, volatile female subjectivity, imperishable at the hands of domineering patriarchal forces.      Godard’s third feature film casts his wife, Anna Karina, in the leading role as Nana. Over the course of twelve episodic chapters, spanning approximately eight months, we watch as Nana’s persistent show business dreams lead her from an unfulfilling marriage to an unfulfilling career as a prostitute, and, finally, to her murder.      The dance sequence begins with Nana casually pressing a coin into the jukebox. In her subsequent dance, Nana traverses the length of the pool hall, approaching at first a young, blonde haired man, before sashaying over to Raoul and Luigi, and once more returning to the young man. As the scene fades to black, she twirls around a pillar in front of the jukebox. Throughout the entirety of the dance sequence, Nana’s jubilant body language seems to be at odds with her muted surroundings; her confident, joyous expression impervious to the men’s disinterest. However, in the scene’s final frames, twirling around the pillar, her expression yields to one of dismayed resignation.      Formally, the sequence’s opening frames exercise a tightness of control over the enunciation which Godard is unable to maintain as his wife’s commanding performance takes hold. The camera seems to revere Nana’s image in these frames, defining her strictly in the visual terms of her unmoving body. For the moment, it is in total command of our perception of Nana. It holds at her waist momentarily, letting the record spin, before tilting slowly upwards, savouring each moment of its briefly determining gaze. Godard has said of the film: “I cannot wait for the moment at which Karina has been subsumed to my image of her,” (Silverman 28). In moments such as these, in which the camera exercises determining power over perception of the actress, his vision appears to be fully realized. Nana’s body remains almost perfectly still; it is only the camera which possesses the determining power of movement. The image of a forlorn prostitute presented here is dually reflective of Raoul’s treatment of Nana. It is no coincidence that Nana’s pimp and Godard’s cinematographer share a first name. Both pimp and camera seek to impose reductive identities onto her character, eradicating her subjectivity in favour of their meaning. The attempted elimination of Nana/Karina’s selfhood within the film is an act of collusion between Godard and Raoul, but as Nana casts her eyes mischievously around the pool hall, it is clear that she has other plans.      Although the diegetic reasoning for Nana’s trade is her refusal of a client, her first transgression against the patriarchal domination of her character occurs in this sequence. From the initial tightly determining frames, Nana’s dance goes on to declare a realized female subjectivity, defying her male handlers. She sashays toward Raoul and Luigi momentarily, testing their response. Upon receiving not a glance from either man, she reverses course, now approaching the young man with increasing vitality. Defiance narrows Nana’s face into a mocking pout, and as she pushes forward, the camera is forced to retreat to accommodate her forward motion. She looks past the confines of the frame, disinterested in the determining function it has to offer. Suddenly, she rounds the pool table, forcing the camera to relinquish its tight grasp on her image, now following Nana from the rear at increasing distance. Although she receives minimal attention from the young man, the subordination of the camera to her dance affirms her movement as an agent of self-realization. Rather than the confining function of the camera in the opening frames, Nana’s dance now forces it to hold her at a distance to contain her unpredictable range of motion. Kaja Silverman states that the dance “represents the only diegetic realization of her show-business dreams,” (22). In this outburst of individualized performative energy, Nana defies Raoul’s expectation of prostitutes to renounce their subjectivity, insisting on her undying aspirations to rise above dismal circumstance. Through the singular power of bodily expression, Nana attains a detachment from the patriarchal structures of her narrative, realizing a forgotten, authentic sense of selfhood in the process.       Her moment of greatest self-realization, however, occurs as she approaches her pimp and his associate on the other side of the pool hall. With a final glance toward the young man, she once more pushes up against the retreating camera as she rounds the table back towards the jukebox. Here, however, Nana’s dance seems to force the scene to cut away from this shot. Rather than allowing her to pass the camera by, as before, the scene instead cuts to a shot seeming to be from Nana’s perspective. In this moment, the camera’s gaze appears to have lost all recourse to represent her dance, and, liberated from its determining shackles, Nana seizes control of the enunciation. However, the movement of the camera in this brief shot is slow and stable, in stark contrast to the movement of her dance as previously depicted. What results from this apparent dissonance is a sense of Brechtian verfremdungseffekt, a means by which, in cinema, the director is able to call attention to the fact of the filmmaking process, preventing the audience from losing itself entirely in the illusion of the narrative. The stability of the camera in these frames is irreconcilable with our perception of Nana in the pool hall. In recognizing this momentary discrepancy, we become aware of what appears before us as cinematic illusion, and Godard’s inability to subsume his wife into Nana. At once, Nana has fully realized her diminished selfhood. Her gaze wanders around the corner of the pool hall with a wide-eyed fascination, as if viewing the film’s set for the first time. This shot, as shown through her eyes, is visually distinct from the film as depicted by Godard. Karina’s experience of Nana’s character is profoundly different from Godard’s determining vision of her. In these few seconds, as the camera savours every detail of a chair, a radiator, a window, and finally the two men at the table, the viewer becomes acutely conscious of a sense of detachment from the film’s self-enclosed narrative. As Nana’s implied gaze meets that of Raoul and Luigi, staring out at her with interrupted hostility, Nana is removed from their expectations of her behaviour. In this moment, she is not Nana; not the forlorn prostitute of Jean-Luc Godard’s Vivre sa Vie. Through the power of bodily expression, she has become the film actress of her loftiest aspirations. If only for a brief, jubilant moment, she is Anna Karina.      This brief moment of total liberation for Nana/Karina does not last. The critical distance created by the verfremdungseffekt recedes as the confrontation between Karina’s and Raoul’s eyes extends past the five second mark. As if the unsympathetic gaze of Raoul, coupled with that of the camera, has finally managed to penetrate her dreamlike state of detachment, the scene shifts back to the previous shot, the camera placed now on her other side. Once more, she pushes forward, rounding the corner of the pool table, now moving away from Raoul and Luigi. Mockingly pouting, she sashays towards the jukebox in near perfect synchronization with the music before joyous laughter again overtakes her coy posture. Entirely disregarding the camera, she prances toward the young man, who is still focused on his game of pool. Nana’s dance continues independent of anyone else’s concerns, camera or character. Raoul Cotard’s lens now holds her at a distance, seeming to have momentarily forsaken the impossible task of suppressing her euphoric bodily energy. However, as the scene begins to draw to a close, Nana returns to the camera in front of the jukebox. Twirling around the pillar at the centre of the pool hall, she casts a variety of playfully mocking gestures in the direction of the young man. She spins in and out of frame, the camera remaining still. As the song continues, her jubilant expression subsides to one of genuine dismay. Her twirls slowly become confined to the frame. When the chorus, “Swing! Swing! Swing!” finally begins, interrupting Nana’s wordless flow of bodily expression, she clings to the pillar as this suddenly fleeting moment of self-affirmation. In the sequence’s final frames, Nana appears resigned to dismal circumstance. Casting a final, self-conscious glance toward her preoccupied pimp out of frame, the scene fades to black.      Nana’s dance represents a singular moment of self-affirmation for the female subject of Vivre sa Vie. Although ultimately bound for an abrupt, unromantic ending, this sequence displays Nana as in possession of a subjectivity ineradicable by male determining forces. As the jukebox plays, the charismatic bodily energy of her dance transports her above circumstance. She becomes more than Raoul’s prostitute, and more than a character in Godard’s film. While a scene of unanimously positive energy on the part of Nana, tensions abound within the dance. The roles of prostitute and actress, director and pimp become one and the same as the female subject of the film struggles against the eradication of her subjectivity. The sequence is a moment of unhinged self-reflexivity for both Nana and Godard, their struggle for enunciatory precedence openly comingling with the narrative tension. While Nana’s character ultimately resigns herself to the impossibility of escape, the preceding display of exuberant bodily expression asserts that although her character may be doomed to a dismal fate, her enduring subjectivity could never be erased.