#to the point im like. well i cant go to a transmasc support group or a transfem support group cause i doubt either would

[mejomonster]

Being nonbinary and dressing feminine sometimes despite very much not being a woman is. Its like hello strangers hello new friends im making please dont immediately steamroll

[ablednt]

Im not a terf and im sending this in 100% good faith because I like u and i like ur blog but the women post was not it. I think its valid to want more inclusive language but when cis women talk about their oppression they should be allowed to say women because they are talking about their own experiences, u know? Policing an oppressed group of people’s language use when talking about their oppression is peak entitlement.. this is like telling disabled people they cant say disabled while talking about their oppression because other people experience oppression rooted in ableism (any oppression that paints a group as less capable or less intelligent comes from ableism)

Also, while ur right that in some aspects cis women have privilege over trans men (cis privilege) it’s really dangerous to act like trans men are never misogynistic because they often are. Same with nb people. It’s not that black and white, u kno? Anyways i hope the terfs leave you alone soon /:

Yeah maybe I could have been extra clear but I didn't say they shouldn't use the word to talk about their own experiences.

Every discussion on misogyny uses the terms women and men only, centers the cis binary only. Any resources for victims of misogyny and for misogynistic abuse use the terms for women only.

And there's entire discourse groups of cis women dedicated to being transphobic to transmasc and nonbinary people because they can't realize that whilst transmascs can be misogynistic and I'm not at all denying that they are still largely victims of misogyny. Most of the transmascs I know are because a large part of the community isn't able to magically become a man in the eyes of cis men. It's just not nearly as simple as cis and binary people want to make it.

I'm frustrated because I am not allowed to be nonbinary in the eyes of cis women. Even the ones who are supportive of me call me a woman regularly, because I undoubtedly experience misogyny so they will always view me as a woman. Until recently I've always said I'm woman-aligned solely because I knew cis people would never acknowledge me as anything different than that and even when I've tried to gently remind people otherwise it was made clear by the community if I wanted resources for my abuse, if I wanted any space for discussion on just about anything, if I wanted any acknowledgement for being "not man" then I had to ID as a woman.

So I tried to word that post in a way that would get it through to cis women that if they arent talking about themselves or binary women, if they are talking about a general issue that they're trying to start a community discussion about, then they need to stop excluding nonbinary people and everyone else with the same experiences.

Because I'm very tired having that label forced on me every time someone talks about our shared experiences. It's not just women who experience misogyny, and I am not going to change that view just because cis women don't want to think about gender outside of their own experiences.

We have to bend over backwards for cis women because of the misogyny they face even when we face the exact same things. Like not only do I have cis men making my life a living hell the same as theirs I have to deal with their transphobia and forcing a binary on me. Cis men have never and will never acknowledge nonbinary people and gnc transmascs who aren't trying to appeal to their perceptions of men as men. So we don't get the same privilege as cis men and can and often do experience the same things as cis women, all of this is misogyny so why should we only get to call it that if we call ourselves women?

The point of that post was "please use inclusive language before I drown in the dysphoria that I'm getting from being forced by the whole of society to ID as a woman to have my problems acknowledged."

But I was trying to be patient and polite about it and when I said "limit the word woman as much as possible" it was because cis people have had a history of doing the bare minimum so if they tried that they'd still be very much underdoing it. But I shouldnt have said that I should have made it clear from the start and that's on me tbf. Because it was too easily misunderstood and too easily demonized (not by you obvs your criticisms are valid) as well.

I could have worded it better yes. But I'm allowed to talk about the transphobia I face as a nonbinary person to cis women specifically and I'm allowed to ask that they acknowledge their privilege and do something about it.

I will be deleting that post soon anyway because it's now just a swarming ground for transmisogynists and if I remake it ill reword it.

But I'm done trying to appeal to cis women because it's very clear to me if we aren't telling them we're basically cis women but please call us by they/them haha then they will decide we don't belong in their spaces and we don't deserve their solidarity. And that's absolutely crushing to me but until cis women start to acknowledge that gender is so unbelievably complicated and that intersectional feminism means acknowledging that everyone who isn't a cis man will experience a fluctuating level of misogyny based on how they're perceived then we will achieve nothing. And I'm tired of it.

Basically I'm disillusioned with cis feminism because they say it's intersectional but that comes with the unspoken expectation that people who aren't cis (including trans women because they get put through the worst of it because they have TME people as a whole to deal with and I cannot speak on what that's like as I'm TME) cater to them and support them wordlessly and put all of our needs secondary.

Cis women talking about their own experiences and being cis women isn't the problem and I never ment to apply that but the label "woman" is forced on so many trans and nonbinary people who don't ID with it automatically because it is the only label ever used to discuss misogyny because cis women are the ones leading every convo and that's exactly the problem.

Hopefully that gives some insight.

[gontagokuhara]

trans jared headcanons go

him;

**once again im not transmasc so if i say something out of line lmk!!

-he spends a long time questioning and hating himself before he comes to the realization that he’s trans in middle school-his parents are incredibly supportive and immediately switch to his new name, correct pronouns, and begin on the process of getting him on the road to transitioning (which he’s decided he wants to undergo)-he gets his first binder for his 14th birthday and cries-but despite good feelings at home, school isn’t the same story. jared was never particularly well liked; he always came off as crass and vulgar before he came out, and as overtly rude and harsh after the fact-it gets to a point where he has to transfer to a different school system for hs; and here, he meets evan-and it’s immediately better. everyone assumes he’s cis, and no one makes fun of him (at least for his gender), and even though things aren’t Great, it’s so much better-but his old habits remain. he faces insecurity with dark humor and harsh words. he lashes out verbally when people hit a nerve, and his paranoia regarding self image and popularity and the like skyrockets until he’s constantly under this Cloud of self hatred that he directs in all directions to keep from pushing onto himself.-it sort of comes to a head sophomore year when evan tells jared he’s not sure of their gender, and immediately jared’s insecurities come crashing down and he pushes evan away. and he hates himself for it, but he can’t help but see all of his anger and sadness and fear from middle school mirrored in evan, and he’s afraid of people finding out and hating him and having to move schools again, and he cant-and, surprisingly, it’s connor who calls him on it. who pulls him aside during lunch and hides him in a janitors closet and makes him explain what the fuck is going on, kleinman, your only friend tells you they’re not sure of their gender, and you push them away, what’s wrong with you? and jared breaks down right there in the janitors closet with connor, telling him everything, about how he hates himself for hurting evan and for being who he is and he’s so afraid of going back to being hated that he pushed away the one person who actually likes him.-and connor listens. they stay camped out in that closet for the rest of the day, listening and talking and putting together a game plan and. it’s actually nice? but once they leave their little bubble jared freaks out again, because how is he going to make it up to evan?-but connor is surprisingly helpful, and agrees to mediate, and. it goes well? jared talks about his damn Feelings for once, and he apologizes to evan, and evan accepts and they go back to being best friends, now with the addition of connor because he’s wormed his way into their little non-cis friend group.-and together they bravely trek into the first gsa meeting, and they’re all three scared out of their minds, but they end up really enjoying it and having a place to freely and safely vent his frustrations Greatly benefits jared.

this got v off topic aa but. trans jared is practically canon in my book and i would die for more fan content of him,