#to think I could live somewhere where running into other queer and trans folks is a daily occurance makes my heart ache soooo bad

[genderfreakxx]

got a top surgery date after years and years and its made me start thinking about true love again

[frasier-crane-style]

Elseworlds

Well, Tumblr isn’t dead yet and the CW-DC just did a big crossover, so I think it’s time to make fun of the CW........ for the last time.

Did you know Tim Allen actually ended Home Improvement after season 8 because he knew the show couldn’t maintain its level of quality and was on the way downhill? Tim Allen has more creative integrity than anyone involved in the making of Supernatural. Think about that.

Anyhoo, lots to digest! Largely, this crossover felt to me weirdly lackluster and obligatory, like the whole thing was just a trailer for the oncoming Crisis on Infinite Earths crossover. It just felt unambitious, which is the last thing an ‘event’ like this should feel like. In fact, it felt a little like I imagine the result would be of filming a bunch of people playing DC Universe Online. We visit Smallville and see Lois Lane! We go to Gotham and meet Batman...’s cousin, and fight a breakout at Arkham Asylum, complete with Mr. Freeze...’s gun and the Scarecrow...’s fear gas. Then, we wrap the whole thing up with an Evil Superman, because God knows, DC never gets bored of that.

-Petty nitpick department: Batwoman just standing around on rooftops looks weird. Not only does it give the odd impression that she’s spent the entire time between episodes just, uh, standing, but c’mon--you’re supposed to crouch. Or at least hunch. Everybody knows that!

-Weirdly missed opportunity to have Ollie do the Flash narration, considering all the other opening narrations are futzed with.

-The whole thing is pretty much a glorified body swap--Stephen Amell is playing Barry Allen and vice versa. I can see how TPTB would be too pressed for time to explain a whole ‘nother continuity where Barry Allen became Green Arrow and Oliver Queen became the Flash, but still, it’s not as much fun.

-They also wholeheartedly borrow the thing of Ollie having to be happy to use Barry’s powers and Barry having to be mad to use Ollie’s ‘powers’ from the episode of Teen Titans where Raven and Starfire switched bodies. So, I guess, congratulations on making the central plot point of your crossover the same as a half-hour episode of a children’s cartoon.

-Remember that time Barry was too happy and too confident in his abilities, so his dad died?  

-They got a good actress to play the Lois Lane to this Clark Kent, considering they both just look kinda awkward? His chin looks like he had a face transplant done and her nose looks like someone is constantly Photoshopping it.

NHHHA, He-Man!!

-Don’t do a callback to Smallville, show. Oliver Queen has now spent more time in costume as the Flash than Tom Welling did as Superman.

-Direct fucking hit when Oliver said that Barry couldn’t take a crap without getting a peptalk from his team, but on the other hand, Oliver can’t take a crap without Felicity wondering what it means for their relationship. “Oliver didn’t tell me he needed to go to the bathroom! Why wouldn’t he trust me?”

-I’m just saying, last season on Agents of SHIELD, pretty much every character was in a relationship--there was not so much damn drama. It’s a fucking body-swap plotline, guys. You don’t need to treat it like it could lead to someone’s divorce! Really, at this point, if you’re in a relationship with a crazy superhero, you should be used to it. 

-(Although I suppose I’m a little hard to please here, since over on Legends of Tomorrow they suddenly expect us to care about Constantine rescuing the love of his life when we’ve seen their relationship for all of four seconds. But hey, like I said, Agents of SHIELD manages a happy medium and finds time for Ghost Rider to show up.)

-For the post-apocalyptic hellscape they make Gotham out to be, the police respond awfully fast to disturbances.

-”We’re on the corner of Burton and Nolan!” Groooooan.

-Ruby Rose, everyone: the Less Convincing Michelle Rodriguez. It’d probably a bad sign for how compelling Kate Kane is as a character that everyone would rather talk about where Batman is and why Batman would leave. And, speaking as someone who both watched Birds of Prey and The Dark Knight Rises--Rocky, that ‘Batman Retires’ plot point never works!

-(Is Batwoman even that popular a character to get her own spin-off? I suppose she’s ‘TV show’ popular, but still--I think she’s one of those Batfamily members that is somewhere behind Alfred but ahead of Ace, right next to Azrael. And I do think it’s hilarious that TPTB were insistent on casting a real, authentic lesbian!!!--and then immediately got complaints that they didn’t cast a Jew. Oh, Ziggy, will you ever win?)

-I don’t want to be too hard on Ruby Rose here. Yes, she doesn’t showcase anything other than one mode: Snide And Slightly Pouty (Stephen Amell ain’t winning no Oscars, but he can differentiate between Ollie As A Civilian and Ollie In A Halloween Costume). But the writing does her no favors in making a case for this character as being deserving of any amount of screentime, besides the fact that she dresses like Batman, the guy we really care about. She’s a heroine, as are featured variously in every Arrowverse show. She’s queer, as is Alex Danvers, Sara Lance, John Constantine, et al. She’s rich to the point of having unlimited resources, as are (sometimes) Oliver Queen, Barry Allen, Kara through her billionaire friends. She lives in a crime-ridden hellhole, as Ollie has done for several seasons. What makes any of this compelling? The Gotham setting? Arrow has already turned itself into an effective facsimile of that, to the point of having Ra’s al Ghul show up to make Queen into his son-in-law. Arkham Asylum seems completely generic, as does Wayne Tower. It’s all just a different part of Vancouver; who cares?

-Likewise, Supergirl, speaking to you as a TV show--you really should either be adamant that Kara is heterosexual or give her a weirdly flirtatious scene with Batwoman, but not both. I know you need, need, need to let the audience know Batwoman is a lesbian...

Pictured: The CW subtly letting you know about a character’s minority status.

But c’mon. We’ve been over this.

-Speaking of minority status, maybe it’s not the best idea to let slip that John Diggle is an AU John Stewart. Yes, there’s ten brothas in the DC Universe, and four of them are actually the other six. There are so few Negros on Earth-1 that they had to make Barack Obama into a superhero. The Batfamily has two black folks and they’re both related to Lucius Fox. There’s so few black people in Metropolis that Black Lightning knows who his father is!

Folks, the DC Universe is so white, the Black Lanterns are all dead. The DC Universe is so white, they don’t even have black Kryptonite. The DC Universe is so white, even Black Condor is a honky. The DC Universe is so white, they don’t even need a Justice League of Africa, they just have a Batman of Africa! The DC Universe is so white, the blackest guy on the Justice League is a refrigerator with one-half of a brother’s face on top of it. The DC Universe is so white, they named the black woman on the Teen Titans after a bug that’s half yellow! Now Milestone, the Milestone Universe is black. It’s so black, Aquaman is the most powerful superhero there, because he’s the only one who can swim!

(-I’m planning on being chased off of Tumblr like Indiana Jones after he snags an ancient artifact.)

-Would it be that hard for them to go to Arkham and run into the Ventriloquist or Orca or someone memorable, so long as they have access to the Batman toy chest? We got, uhh, Lady Who Can Pick Up Gun and Psycho Pirate I Guess? Like I said, unambitious. Wouldn’t it be so much cooler if they got someone from Gotham to film just one little cameo? 

-Also, considering the sex scandal these shows have had, maybe it’s not the best idea to joke about their EPs being depraved maniacs? (Was Guggenheim the one who actually got MeToo’d? Because if so, Dude--Not Funny)

-The show had to character-shill Batwoman so hard that Ollie and Barry stopped being fear-gassed just to reiterate that she is too an interesting character in her own right! (If the characters have all heard of Batman, wouldn’t they have heard of Batwoman too if she’s been an active vigilante more recently?)

-But who cares about four unstoppable superheroes teaming up when we can find out how Felicity feels about her relationship? Just a thought--if you fight with your SO all the time about nearly everything, maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship. 

-Long story short, Doctor Destiny rewrites reality again to make Barry, Oliver, and Kara into supervillains in a world where he’s the hero. He also makes the other characters into pointless cameos, and weirdly gets criticized by Kara for... not giving himself a sex-change operation by becoming Superman instead of Supergirl? He doesn’t have gender dysphoria, Supergirl. I thought she was all about trans issues this season?

-Like, I don’t know, if a woman used a magic lamp to wish herself President, would anyone criticize her making herself a lady President instead of a man President?

-I guess it wouldn’t be Supergirl unless they crowbarred in an extremely awkward girlpower message where Superman and Lois agree that Supergirl/women in general are more useful than men, despite the fact that all Supergirl did was the exact same thing as Barry, while Superman and Oliver fought Dr. Destiny, and all Lois did was call in a bunch of men as reinforcements and then need to be rescued.

-But like I said about being unambitious--wouldn’t it be fun to see our heroes be forced to team up with a few supervillains to save the day? Instead, we just have Cisco playing a villain (something he’s done numerous times before). They get his help, have a weirdly poor showing in a fight against Jimmy Olsen, get Superman’s help again, yadda yadda. 

-We also get Superman proposing to Lois Lane. Yeah, considering they’ve been in a relationship at least since Supergirl Season 1, she’s carrying his child, and they’re planning to move to an alien world together, yeah, I should think so? I know Superman probably isn’t a Republican, but does anyone think he’d be so blase about putting a ring on it? Hell, if nothing else, he should want to tie the knot before Ma or Pa bite it. Couldn’t they have just made it that he wants to renew his vows with Lois in a Kryptonian ceremony or some such? 

[aion-rsa]

Batwoman: How Housing and Homelessness Shape Ryan’s Heroism

https://ift.tt/3omZdIO

From the very first promo, where we saw Kate Kane give first money and then her gold watch to a young woman panhandling, Batwoman has concerned itself with homelessness and housing. In Ryan Wilder (Javicia Leslie), however, Batwoman has a new protagonist with lived experience of homelessness. Unlike a lot of television shows that use homelessness as a shorthand to demonstrate that a main character is a good or bad person, Batwoman meaningfully incorporates Ryan’s housing struggles into her long-term character arc and how she approaches her time in the cowl.

In that first teaser back before season 1 premiered, the audience was meant to learn both that Kate Kane was incredibly wealthy and that, unlike the jerky anonymous member of the Crows, she actually cared about doing something to change Gotham’s notoriously tough streets, and not just in a “lock ‘em up” kind of way. As the first season unfolded, heiress Kate became more aware of how gentrification and the lack of affordable housing was squeezing low-income Gothamites out of their own city, thanks to her one-time girlfriend, Reagan.

At a press event before the start of season 2, showrunner Caroline Dries shared that incorporating housing policy wasn’t some kind of strategic goal, but she did always see Gotham as a kind of Los Angeles 2.0 – except even bleaker.

“From a creative point of view, I think that happened a little bit subconsciously. Living in LA the homeless population has just exploded in the last seven years or so,” Dries says. “It’s everywhere you look, and it’s such a huge problem, and it feels like there’s really no solution to it.”

For Dries, fiction allowed her a measure of wishful thinking: “When I was offered the opportunity to write Batwoman and to write Kate Kane, it seemed like: Oh, at least maybe there’s some way that I can have control over this seemingly like endless pandemic of homelessness in our city.”

After hearing about Reagan’s grandmother’s housing struggles – and how common they are across Gotham – Kate went on to form Gotham Pride Real Estate, her way of improving her city by day, under her own name. Kate bought and renovated apartment buildings and rented them at reasonable rates as a way to lock in long-term affordable housing. In some cases, Gotham Pride bought buildings in Gotham’s wealthiest neighborhoods and still rented them at very low rents, pushing back against the extreme wealth segregation that the show has hinted at and that is a reality for much of America.

As Dries says, “It was just like a little bit of hopefulness that I was trying to put out into the world.”

Kate also created The Hold Up, an LGBTQ bar that seems to cater specifically to the sapphic set, which is its own form of business activism. Nationwide, lesbian and queer bars for marginalized genders (women, trans people and nonbinary folks) are an endangered species. As we saw when Kate and Sophie got kicked out of Allesandro’s for holding hands, having spaces where queer folks can simply exist safely and openly isn’t a given, so creating one matters. By owning real estate and using it to make safe, affordable spaces for vulnerable populations to live or to gather socially, Kate Kane has leveraged her wealth to help various communities reclaim Gotham so it can belong to everyone, not just the wealthy few.

With Ryan Wilder stepping into the spotlight for the second season, housing takes on more urgency. The premiere showed how squatters from Alice’s Wonderland Gang killed Ryan’s mother in her own apartment. That made Ryan an orphan and forced her out on the street. She’s been living in her van, and as of the end of the second episode, our Batwoman is still marginally housed, meaning that while she can stay in her van, that’s neither a permanent solution nor is it a sufficient one.

How many other superheroes have experienced homelessness in the present tense – and not as part of going undercover or in some kind of training exercise, but because they literally had nowhere else to go? Dries intentionally pivoted to a different kind of Batwoman in a number of ways, and Ryan’s housing status is one of them.

“With Ryan, it was part of the overarching goal that I had in creating a character who is nothing like Kate Kane, and Kate is a billionaire who never will have to worry about being homeless, she can work to help homelessness,” Dries says. “So it just made sense to me that in creating Kate’s foil, more or less, that maybe Ryan came from a more troubled background where she was part of this problem in her city.”

While Kate was an excellent hero for her city, in many ways she was still a privileged one. Ryan’s experiences, including her time navigating what it means to be unhoused, open up a whole host of possibilities for the ways in which her Batwoman could best serve the people who need her most, because she knows their needs acutely. A common critique of Batman is that many of the people he physically brutalizes are in need of mental health services and/or are at the mercy of an unjust criminal legal system and a city with no social safety net that has pushed them toward a life of crime. Just as Kate’s queer Batwoman before her, Ryan’s Batwoman poses the question: What does a radically reimagined Batwoman look like? How can she better serve the people of Gotham with the greatest need, while pushing back against the authoritarianism of the Crows and the demands of the wealthy elites who hire them?

Toward the end of the second episode, “Prior Criminal History,” Luke Fox offers Ryan a warehouse to draw the poisonous bats away and then detonate a bomb to take them out, away from innocent civilians. On the city plans he has access to back in the Bat cave, the warehouse looks abandoned. But Ryan does a double-take and tells him no, they have to find somewhere else – that’s actually a homeless encampment. Luke immediately starts looking for a new locale, and Ryan comes up with the idea to use the Crows Security bus, resulting in a great little set piece.

It may seem like a small moment, but this demonstration of how Ryan’s knowledge and therefore actions as Batwoman would be completely different is spot-on and an absolute game-changer. In every city in America, there’s a complex infrastructure that people who are currently homeless or marginally housed must navigate in order to get through their day to day. Just out of sight from housed people, there are encampments, shelters, and an array of social services all requiring completely different paperwork, hours, and counselors. Ryan would know the safest places to park her van, the hours for the best soup kitchens, where the women-only shelters are, and the places that stay open latest, in case it gets so cold late at night that she has to go in.

Just before she detonates the bomb, Ryan sees a young woman sheltering in a tent nearby. She runs over and shields them both with her cape. Afterwards when the coast is clear, the young woman looks up at Ryan in the batsuit with admiration.

“Batwoman?”

“Oh no, not really,” Ryan says, hesitantly.

“Well,” says the young woman, “you are to me.”

Read more

TV

Batwoman Season 2 Episode 2 Review: Prior Criminal History

By Nicole Hill

Comics

New Batwoman Ryan Wilder Gets Surprise DC Introduction

By Kayti Burt

Just as Kate Kane helped many more people see themselves on screen as heroes, Ryan Wilder is now doing the same thing, in-world, and I suspect, irl. For Black women and queer Black folks, but also for anyone who has experienced homelessness. For the people who have couch-surfed for months on end, lived in their cars, lost their housing through no fault of their own, or who struggle to keep their head above water because of a record – even if it’s one they got unfairly, like Ryan.

Leslie speaks about how with the character of Ryan, the show gets to bring in a firsthand story to show what it’s like to actually live through these experiences, rather than having characters observe or comment on them from afar.

“I think that what’s really dope about what we’re doing this season is you get to see Ryan’s story and how she ends up where she is,” Leslie says. “And a lot of it is just, it’s the system and being lost in the system and not having support in the system. So I do think that that’s another way it’s being addressed.”

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Batwoman has long taken on serious social issues that other superhero shows lack the moral heft to consider, whether that means police corruption, racism within the legal system, American’s broken and inadequate healthcare, or discrimination against LGBTQ people. The show’s diverse cast of characters speak about these issues firsthand, and Ryan Wilder is no exception. Her backstory as someone who has struggled with housing insecurity isn’t a throwaway line but rather a current aspect of her life that sets the tone for who this new Batwoman is, and how the show will be moving forward.

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from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3a6fuwp

[lightoverturesystem]

I think one of the hardest things for me to cope with has been missing the ones who have abused me in the past. Given I grew up in maddening isolation, when I entered into my teenage years and was finally able to branch out into the world, I clutched to just about anyone who would give me the time of day. I had no idea what I was doing, and since I missed a lot of normal socialization and developmental growth, had no idea how to interact with people in general. All I knew was combat or flee, quite literally my life has been nothing but fight or flight.

And for some of these people it had been the same, bringing devastating results, a hurricane meeting with a warm tidal wave. When one would take a combat stance, I would run. One of my lovers even disdainfully called me “a runner.” I’m not sure if the goal was to shame me, point out the obvious or make me aware of something I already knew, but either way, not being given the safety in life to live a life outside flight-or-fight mode has left its scars on other people. That’s a whole other layer given to me by my childhood trauma to undo, to grieve for, feel about, and eventually overcome. He also called me a coward for having what as my therapist puts it, “a normal reaction for your body given the circumstances and the fact your body was trained and brain hard wired this way.” Doesn’t excuse the pain it causes others, but understanding and context too is important. But that’s another rant for another day. Anyway, it was rare I could be the person who could de-escalate a situation and calm it down if it wasn’t mediating between two others. When others would run, I would start to get angry, but that didn’t usually last. I would usually become sad, because I understood, in a way.

I have a lot of flaws when it comes to socializing. I know how to appear passably normal in society if I choose to do so, but once you start to learn who I am under the surface, the entire picture falls apart. Bits and pieces don’t add up, if you are skilled enough to look deeper. This is why I choose to be very open online, because having to fake all of this in the physical world can be maddening; if I had to do it in the digital world too… Well I just don’t think it’s possible for me. Anyway, anyone who gets intimate enough with me are told of my flaws the best I know of them because it affects my socialization, especially in intimate relationships.

For example, the previously aforementioned lover also told me while a lot of the issues in the relationship was his fault, I had a problem where I made him feel safe emotionally when we really weren’t, because I would assure him I would keep him safe, but when things got messy, my emotions dropped to instinctually protect myself. This issue of mine varies person to person, but one variable remains the same. If I feel unsafe with someone, that’s when the wall has always gone up. I often put it up without even consciously recognizing it. Its been second nature to me. In this case, I was unable to put it down even when desiring to do so because it truly just wasn’t safe at the time. Finally now I am in a place where not only am I able to tear the walls down, but most of them never need to be built up in the first place; and if I sense bricks starting to stack, I feel safe enough to address it. And in the future if I don’t feel safe, depending on the situation, I know now to either take a risk to talk about it or remove myself as safely as possible.

When it comes to being or listening to someone being abused, my emotional protector Morgue switches or starts using passive influence, and I no longer can access a normal range of emotions. Everything feels flat, and dull. I don’t feel empathy where I should. I feel almost nothing.

It can be terrifying, in hindsight, or even in the moment. Sometimes in these moments, I am at the back of my innerworld desperately clawing to get free. I am far away, and have trouble hearing, and I want nothing more than to communicate; it hurts. I am dissociated almost against my will, it feels like. Other times if I feel I’ve been done a serious wrong, I can be completely cold and unfeeling. Either way, it is not good, or conductive to good relationships or personal health. What once kept me alive and safe, stopped people from taking advantage of me as a child, has been holding me down.

Luckily for me, I understand this issue of self and it is a work in progress between my current lover and I. When in a situation of nurture, I am far better able to dismantle the wall faster, and Morgue not only knows he does not need to protect me from her, but is actually starting to feel emotion regarding her, to which I am elated. If in a situation of conflict, I know enough about myself and have a solid ground in the relationship to tell Morgue his job isn’t needed, that it is okay to feel and be vulnerable here.

In the last year I have started to really analyze my own behavior, now that mentally I am in a place I can start to look and vow to become a better person rather than just want to off myself or – to my ignorance, have someone system flood. (Looking at you, Kyle.) I haven’t always liked what I found. I’m at fault for turning the other way often, for what I found was so much like my parents that still being around them, it wasn’t my time to undo it. I couldn’t safely keep my hatred for my mother under control and also live with her at the same time. Undoing these things would mean I would have to study their roots, and that would bring feelings about her I couldn’t afford to have until now.

But before I started doing this, I had become friends with the first handful of folk who were like myself in the only ways I thought mattered. They were all LGBT, some were just queer, some were trans, we all loved BDSM and some were systems like myself. All were mentally ill, and we all clicked in various different ways.

In the next two years as I started to read, change and find who I am, I started to see in these people a mix of patterns and behaviors I had to undo myself, and things I’d never had inside me in the first place. As I learned what abuse really was and wasn’t, what I saw in others scared me. In this time, I was still not quite self aware enough to know my own needs or what was good and bad for me. I told myself its their issues to work out, to give patience. I tried not to just flee. But eventually as I started realizing how I was being treated, how I was being lied to, just passively or by omission, being manipulated, blackmailed and worse, one by one I realized it was time to leave again. This was different than running, this was standing up for myself. I had to detach myself from people I loved, but who treated me in ways I either had no idea how to handle, or were just plain cruel. And that was unbelievably hard; realizing I would have to go back to being almost entirely alone was almost too bad a thought that I nearly turned away from. But I didn’t. Instead, I thought about how each loss was a difficult act of self love, and continues to be every day. Each loss was me saying, “I love you, but dammit, I love me now too. And you shouldn’t treat me this way. So if you must, I must bid you goodbye because it isn’t healthy for me and isn’t what I need right now.”

Each loss was harder than the last, as the people I considered family eventually dwindled to two. Months I spent building, gone.

I learned about how survivors of abuse often fell into this pattern of being around abusers without even realizing it. I felt stupid; surely with all my psychology background I would have noticed this happening? And it’s true, somewhere, I took note of red flags of all these people, and took this valuable clipboard of information and all but through it out a mental window. I learned a good lesson from that about listening to gut instinct, let me tell you. This handful of people, the only I considered family, I didn’t want these people I believed in so much to truly be this way. I thought better of them. There’s no way they could be as bad, especially after learning what happened to me, and the way they reacted to that, right? I wish I had been right. But it taught me a valuable lesson of passing on patterns, instilling my vow to not do it myself, at least perhaps besides what I have already done. That was a mistake on my part for some of them. Others put up false personas of who they actually were and I had to see through.

It’s been a year of my loss of some, and I’m still grieving.

It seemed just when I was starting to grieve one person’s loss, it was time to lose another. The grieving comes in waves. Not just 3-am-its-dark-and-im-lonely kind of waves. It comes at 9 am when I wake and would normally call someone and now find my breakfast a lot more quiet. The sunlight streaming through the trees at a particular time of day will bring back memories. It comes at 11:30 in the morning on a bus when you know someone’s tumblr queue would normally be going off. It comes at midnight when someone would come home from work and the last thing you’d hear is their voice before bed. And yes, it still comes at 3 am, because it would be their 9 am, and you’d want to make sure their day has been starting okay so far. It comes playing my favorite videogame ever, that I haven’t picked up since The Loss™ because there are a handful of ghosts around me. In hearing The Neighborhood, and often when I learn something new about myself as a system.

Because of my issues socializing, because of not wanting to go back to what feels like isolation, missing my abusers has been something I’ve battled with for years. These issues amplify my feelings of isolation and that no one else will ever love me; they strike hard into the core of who I am.

Every day, I fight. Some days are easier than others. There can be long periods of time I don’t think about anyone. But I end up stepping on a trigger, maybe its a new Pokemon game coming out, a new Wednesday 13 album or seeing Luke Cage has been added to Netflix or crossing the street where someone I loved once lived. But when it happens, I’m fighting until I’m lying in the fetal position in my bed feeling stabs of pain through my chest where sobs would be because trauma stops me from being able to cry most of the time.

I think society has this stigma that when you leave an abusive person, you should feel proud. That you should burn bridges and never want to talk to them again. You should feel triumphant, and sick if the thought of ever talking to them should cross your mind.

But that’s not what it’s always like.

With some of these people I can truly let go of and say “thank fuck that’s over.” With others, it’s clawing myself out of a hole for a couple years almost. And sometimes I hate myself, I feel dirty and disgusting in a way no shower can clean and I delve into my own psychology, turning over every mental rock I can find for an answer for something until months later I come to it. Sometimes people’s words rub into old wounds so raw that it takes you months to clean them out once you can bare to fold back the bandage reeking of infection by the time you are brave enough to address it.

Nostalgia is a great liar. It will whisper to you whenever you are down and out for the count and tell you that you need or want someone back in your life that you really, really don’t. A brain addicted to the chemical ups and downs of abuse will tell you all this quiet is driving you up a wall, even though when in the thick of it, quiet is all you wanted. That being wound up in a panic attack at 3 am, heart pounding and frozen in terror, falling-apart-at-the-seams with sadness and rage afterward is far more exciting than sitting in the dark alone at night. This is the nature of growing up with abuse. Your body can learn to crave it. Without it, something doesn’t quite feel right.

My therapist tells me this is normal. She tells me to be more gentle with myself, because inside my head I am incredibly harsh. I tell myself I’m a disgrace to human beings, and by doing that I put a disrespect with my selfishness to all those have ever loved me.

She tells me I am not a bad person for the mistakes I made to others too; if this is all I knew, how can I be expected to know otherwise?

She reminds me things are no longer about anyone else’s opinions. I tell her “but no one has to be gentle on me for what I have done, they are allowed to be angry.” She tells me that is true, but in order to heal, to keep changing and to let go of what anyone else thinks of me, or can see, I am going to have to forgive myself.

So I start to try, and then I slowly start to forgive.

I take a look at the child and teen I was. Lost, terrified, ignorant to everything but a world full of abuse. I spent my teenage years begging for help, with nothing ever coming. I look at the young adult he turned into, fumbling through this life. He’s gotten some help here and there, but realized no one can save himself but himself. And in his pain, he’s made a lot of mistakes. A whole new layer to address in therapy, the trauma caused by trauma. None were done on purpose sure, but regardless, they were still there; scars on others due to his ignorance. I decide to hold him responsible for his actions, and maybe I did far too harshly for far too long, but… Would I be unforgiving if that was someone else? If it was someone I loved?

No.

Most I’ve known who have made a mistake where they weren’t directly trying to harm me in some form or another, I have forgiven.

I accept I still have a lot to learn. I accept that I will make a lot more mistakes in the future.

And in turn, I apply this knowledge to some of the people I know too. They too have known really nothing else either, and are working to undo abusive behaviors too. I feel something move inside, like a piece of a puzzle locking into place, right where it belonged.

Forgiveness comes a little easier now. Not forgetting, not refusing to hold anyone accountable, but understanding. “Understand, then seek to be understood.”

I never have seen these people as just good-or-bad people because of their abuse. Sometimes I wish I could; but I have done both horrible and wonderful things myself, and understand I am not the only one. What makes them this or that are an alignment of other morals now, and if they are trying to break patterns, be better people, or are just turning away from all their flaws. If they hold themselves responsible or make excuses.

Missing your abusers can come as a terrible blow to a lot of survivors; why would you miss such a terrible thing? But for a lot of us, our abusers, outside the abuse, were great people. Which on the outside, may sound like one wild contradiction. But in reality, they may be great representers in a community, they may be amazing caretakers, or a great friend when you are going through a hard time. They can be creative, happy people who do generous things for others. But they can still be abusive. This is why so many people have issue identifying abusers, or accepting someone they love is one.

“But X does ____ and ___!”

“Yes, but they also do ___ and ____”

Life is full of grey areas, and some tones are so close in color, they are barely distinguishable. It is not so black and white, all-or-nothing, good-or-bad person. Most of us are not entirely good or evil. Toxic thinking like this will only get people more hurt, and less understanding will occur in the world.

Some of my exes, outside their abuse, are some of the most creative and thoughtful people I know; some of them genuinely want to help mankind be better, some are advocates like myself, all of which in the end only served to make things more painful and confusing. But they are also some of the most awful people I’ve come across, who have said unspeakable things to me and burned me for defending myself. Some were to me, a person who would hit a dog for biting them after a history of striking the dog in the face. Some have in the same month made me feel the safest I had ever felt in my life, and then put everything I love in jeopardy.

Humanity is confusing.

Knowing all this, I think it’s okay to miss someone you do or once loved. The good parts and the bad, long as you can recognize why, and keep yourself safe. They were an intimate part of your lives, you had someone you shared milestone moments with. Don’t let anyone, especially them, shame you for that. There is nothing wrong, nothing shameful, about missing someone. I see too many breakups being played like games where people are shunned for grieving and expected to never feel anything about the breakup, especially over social media. People’s hearts are not pawns, and if an ex treats your breakup like a game, not engaging or playing it will in the long run, help you go far. This may not be possible with some abusers, so judge wisely. Safety, first. But if you can keep yourself safe by not taking what is often bait, if you are successful in not viewing things that way, you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble. Viewing things as a game only distances yourself from the pain that will refuse to go unaddressed forever, and possibly cause new layers of pain on top because of consequences to actions taken by “playing” this “game.”

That being said, I’m starting to allow myself to grieve more deeply. For those I’ve lost, for myself, for the child in me who despite everything, keeps reaching forward for the love he so boldly dares to believe he deserves.

[makalations-blog]

Translation: Ouhi no Yakata/Château de la Reine

Hello. Thank you for reading my translation for Ouhi no Yakata/ Château de la Reine.

As this is (somehow miraculously?) before Tokyo run, hopefully this can help people who want to see it in Tokyo understand a bit more. Or help those waiting for the DVD to prepare to watch it when it releases.

This work comes with a few necessary notes beforehand. Please read them.

1. This is a fan-created translation. Please be aware that my understanding of Japanese is not extremely high-level, and there may be some errors. I did my best. If you find something you believe is incorrect, please feel free to message me and I will make an effort to correct it. (The only reason it even got this far was thanks to my savior and editor Carol.)

2. That being said, as this is a play with conversation, etc. I attempted to make this translation flow with natural and colloquial English/conversation tendencies rather than a word-by-word exact representation- while still keeping as much of the intended meaning(s) as possible.

3. If you wish to use this translation to make subtitles for your private/personal use, please let me know via a message/ask. I ask that you do not share subtitle files created from my translations without my consent at all.

4. Please do not take, repost, or recreate this translation on Tumblr or other websites without contacting me first.

5. This is a really specific translation note. There is a character in this play (Crayon) whos self-identification is not made clear. (To my knowledge, it is not made clear in the original novels either.) The only thing really clear is that… Crayon is somewhere on the queer scale.

Crayon is referred to many times in Japanese with the word “okama”. Strictly speaking, “okama” is a slur for gay people (generally targeting gay men or crossdressers, but has [incorrectly] been used recently for trans-people as well). It is often used in Japanese humor because ?? (enter reasons I neither know nor truly understand). (However, it is also sometimes used as a “reclaimed” term. It all depends on situation and intention and interpretation.)

There are jokes in particular in this show that revolve around referring to this character as an ‘okama’. As a translator, it really isn’t my job to write a whole thing about what I think about this or why. I’m really only responsible for providing the material in a language that people can understand.

Therefore, because I didn’t want to end up editing the material to my personal ideas/tastes, and because I didn’t feel comfortable directly translating the word ‘okama’ into any English slang, I left those lines translated into English but still using the Japanese word ‘okama’ in them.

6. There is a lot of French in this show. I do not speak French. But a coworker who does speak French decided to inform me that the French they were seeing was incorrect. I have no comment on this, as I (again) do not speak French.

7. A specific note on the theme of ‘smile’ and ‘laugh’ in this show. The script simply uses the word “warau” which can be a bit interchangeable for those words. There were times where “smile” made more sense, and times where “laugh” made more sense. In the end, I decided to use both words, and at some points even used them together to get the meaning/point across.

Without further ado. Here is the actual translation:

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Château de la Reine

Main Cast:

Asaka Manato                   Kitashirakawa Ukyo              A romance novelist writing a new novel starring Louis XIV

Misaki Rion                        Sakurai Reiko                     Female president of a small-time travel agency. Tour conductor responsible for the “Light” tour.

Makaze Suzuho                Louis XIV                              King of France during the 17th Century. Former owner of the Château de la Reine.

Aizuki Hikaru                     Kanezawa Shichi               Real estate king.

Itsuki Chihiro                     Iwanami                               Former teacher at an ‘evening’ high school. (TN: There are some special schools with classes in the evening for people who work during the day.)

Kotobuki Tsukasa            Shimoda Koji                      Manager of an electrical parts factory.

Mikaze Maira                    Shimoda Fusako               Shimoda’s wife.

Sumiki Sayato                    Kondo Makoto                  Policeman.

Sorahane Riku                   Crayon                                  [Kuroiwa Gentaro] Scorned by a previous lover, on a ‘heartbreak trip’

Sakuragi Minato               Togawa Mitsuo                 A tour conductor at a small time travel agency, subordinate of Sakurai. Responsible for the “Shadow” tour.

Reimi Urara                        Diana                                     She once lived in the Château de la Reine. The woman Louis XIV loved.

Hoshikaze Madoka         Michiru                                 Former hostess, and Kanezawa’s lover.

ETC Cast:

Iwanami Masae                                Kanon Mai

Mr. Tanno                                           Rinjou Kira

Mrs. Tanno                                         Ayaka Mari

Munon                                                 Matsukaze

Hayami Ritsuko (Editor)                Junya Chitose

Pierre                                                   Kazuki Sora

Monsieur Duran                               Mitsuki Haruka

Can-Can Singer                                 Fuuma Kakeru

Accordion Singer                             Hoshibuki

Anne d’Autriche                               Seoto Risa

Marie Thérèse                                  Aishiro Moa

 Preface: Charles de Gaulle Airport (Arrival Lobby)

[Airport Background]

As announcements flow through the arrival lobby of the Charles de Gaulle Airport, the tour conductor Mr. Togawa, working for a down-on-its-luck travel agency known as “Pan World Tour Enterprise”, is eating at a bar with the irritated tour customers. Togawa is on the phone with his boss, Sakurai Reiko.

Togawa: (On the phone) Ms. Reiko, is this really going to work?? This plan…

Sakurai: (A voice over the speakers) Are you asking if it’s a ‘good’ thing? In this world, there is both ‘light’ and ‘shadow’…  so isn’t it fair to say there’s a ‘front’ and ‘back’ side to business, too?

Togawa: You just keep saying that over and over!

Sakurai: (voice) Anyway, you have to keep the customers at the airport for another 30 minutes. You got it?

Mr. Tanno: Mr. Togawa, exactly when are we going to be able to leave the airport?

Togawa hides his cellphone.

Togawa: M… Mr. Tanno… I am terribly sorry, our car… seems to be stuck in a terrible traffic jam…

Mr. Iwanami: Even so, we’ve already been waiting here an hour.

Togawa: I am truly sorry Mr. Iwanami!!

Ms. Iwanami: Dear, can’t you see Mr. Togawa is very troubled by the situation?

As the Iwanamis talk, Togawa returns to his phone.

Togawa: (on the phone) Ms. Reiko, did you hear that? How am I supposed to make more excuses to the customers!?

Sakurai: (voice) Why don’t you think about that on your own? Well then, I’ll contact you again when I arrive at the hotel.

Ms. Sakurai hangs up the phone.

Togawa: Wait-! Ms. Reiko? Ms. Reiko?!

The tour customer Kondo Makoto approaches Togawa.

Kondo: Hey, you! What’s the meaning of this? Is this some sort of scam?!

Togawa: (shocked and panicking) Mr. Kondo! What ‘scam’ could you possibly be talking about?!

Kondo: I was told I was going to be in a men’s shared room. (Points at the flashily dressed Crayon.) So what the hell is this?

Togawa: Ah, that should be Mr. Kuroiwa Gentaro…

Crayon: Don’t use that name! I go by Crayon, like at my shop~!

Kondo: What’s a ‘crayon’? Whatever shop you work at, once I get home I’ll find it and shut it down!

Crayon: My shop isn’t some shabby establishment like what you’re thinking. What a hard-headed policeman~

Mr. Tanno: A police officer?

Togawa: Mr. Tanno, is something the matter?

Mr. Tanno: No, of course not…

The Tanno couple exchange a meaningful gaze. Meanwhile, Crayon is bothering Kondo.

Kondo: Stop it! Don’t blow in my ear!

Crayon: Omg~ so shy~! How cute! Tonight is going to be so~ much~ fun~! Teehee~

Crayon exits while giggling.

Kondo: Hey!... What do you mean ‘fun’?!

Kondo chases after Crayon.

Togawa: Wait… Where are you two going?!

Togawa chases the two offstage.

Mrs. Iwanami: Well well, we seem to be grouped with some interesting folk!

Mr. Iwanami: My goodness…

The Iwanamis also exit the stage, and the bridge leads to the next scene.

 Scene 1A: The City of Paris

Visiting Paris on a research trip, the Japanese author Kitashirakawa appears, singing.

[C’est Paris! C’est la vie!]

Kitashirakawa: Oh Paris!

What illuminates this city?

I saw it in the night-  the color of dreams.

Oh, Paris!

Only Paris can capture the hearts of writers

Like no other city!

I want you to show me

Like Ernest Hemmingway

Like Scott Fitzgerald

What they sought- the color of dreams!

C’est Paris!

Selfishly, in this city,

C’est Paris!

People can see unbelievable dreams.

I want you to show me

Like the philosophers of Montmartre

Like the lovers who speak of romance

Something I have never seen-  the color of dreams!

C’est la vie!

In the city of nostalgic meetings

C’est la vie!

People can find the dreams they’ve lost!

The editor Hayami accompanying Kitashirakawa on his trip appears.

Hayami: Mr. Kitashirakawa! There you are. I thought you’d suddenly disappeared…

Kitashirakawa: Hayami! I told you I hate group activities, not to mention when I’m forced to be around such vulgar people my creative motivation is exponentially reduced!

Hayami: You’re the one who selfishly broke away from the tour. Ms. Reiko’s been looking for you, too!

Kitashirakawa: That nasty tour guide… it’s fine to leave her behind.

Hayami: Really? I found her quite likeable. She’s the president of the tour agency but still leads tours with such vitality… It’s like watching a younger version of myself.

Kitashirakawa: If that’s true, then she’s bound to become a spinster too.

Hayami: Oh ho ho, what a jokester! I’ve definitely not given up yet.

Following Kitashirakawa, the guide Sakurai and the members of the Light Tour appear breathing heavily.

Sakurai: Mr. Kitashirakawa!

Kitashirakawa: Here comes the shabby tour guide.

Sakurai: How many times do I have to explain to you that your selfish behavior is a problem for the other tour members?

Kanezawa: Bro, I was looking for you.

Kitashirakawa: Hayami, do something! If I’m around this loud, annoying riffraff much longer, my creative research will be ruined!

Hayami: I’m sorry, Ms. Reiko. He’s that kind of artist…

Sakurai: Listen, this is a tour trip, you know? Even if Mr. Kitashirakawa is a famous novelist, in order to properly take part in the tour, he needs to listen to my instructions.

Kitashirakawa: Hayami…

Mrs. Shimoda: Kitashirakawa? Do you mean the Kitashirakawa Ukyo?

Kanezawa: Huh? This guy really a famous novelist?

Hayami: Yes! Mr. Kitashirakawa’s “Beauty and Sadness of the Blue Danube” (Utsukushisa to Kanashimi no Aoki Donau) was his brilliant debut novel! It was followed by his work “The Country of Light Snow” (Sasameyuki Kuni) that won the Tanibata Award. He’s truly a rare genius!

(TN: These are jokes regarding real life famous novels “Utsukushisa to Kanashimi to” by Yasunari Kawabata and “Sasameyuki” by Jun'ichirō Tanizaki. Therefore, the (not real) Tanibata Award would be a reference to Tani(zaki) (Kawa)bata. Hahaha, good job zuka.)

Kanezawa: Sounds like a bunch of rip-off titles.

Michiru: Papa!

(TN: Michiru is referring to Kanezawa as ‘Papa’ as a lover’s pet name, rather than a father-figure. Probably due to the fact that it’s implied he is older than her. It doesn’t really hold the same connotation in English, but it’s a bit too obvious of a word to try to change to something else.)

Mr. Shimoda: Well then, have you come to Paris to write a new novel?

Kitashirakawa: I suppose.

Hayami: Mr. Kitashirakawa is working on a romance set in the court of King Louis XIV!

Michiru: Wow! What’s the title?

Kitashirakawa: Are you ready to hear its brilliance? The title is… (emphatically) “The Lily of Versailles!” (Versailles no Yuri)

Kanezawa: As I thought, just another rip-off.

Kitashirakawa: What did you say!?

Kanezawa: Geez, so grumpy! But you know, I feel like we’d get along bro. We’ve both got good taste in clothes and nice hairstyles…

Kitashirakawa: Don’t lump me in with the likes of you! (Messes up Kanezawa’s hair) My hair’s the real deal!

Kanezawa: Aaah!

Michiru: Papa!

Holding onto his wig, Kanezawa looks around in panic at everyone staring at him.

Sakurai: (amazed) Let’s end our friendly chats there. If we don’t hurry, we’ll be late to arrive at the hotel.

 Scene 1B: Places des Vosges

The stage changes to the Places des Vosges.

Kitashirakawa: Hayami! This is exactly why I said I hate group tours!

Hayami: Well, sensei, I don’t think you ever actually said that…

Sakurai: Now everyone, once we go through the corridor from the Places des Vosges, the Château de la Reine is waiting for us.

All members go onto the ginkyo.

[Château de la Reine]

Hayami: This is it, sensei! The place that Balzac (Honoré de Balzac) and Stendhal (Marie-Henri Beyle) loved! We’re almost at the Château de la Reine!

Kitashirakawa: Aah, the legendary hotel that turned away even the great Ernest Hemingway!

Michiru: (To Kanezawa) We get to stay at such a fancy hotel…. It’s like a dream!

Sakurai: But it’s not a dream! At first glance, you can see it looks like the kind of hotel normal customers wouldn’t be able to stay at… For us to stay here on a tour like this, rather than calling it a dream… it’s more like a miracle!

Château de la Reine

And the Plaza Athénée

And the Crillon and the Ritz, It’s not your imagination

A place that tourists from all over the world desire to stay!

Kanezawa: What’s that mumbo jumbo even mean? Chartoo …. (he can’t pronounce it)

Kitashirakawa interrupts Sakurai before she can explain.

Kitashirakawa: The “Château de la Reine”! In Japanese it means “The Queen’s Château”. It was owned by the ruler of 17th century France, Louis XIV, but the true meaning behind the Château’s name is still a mystery…

Château de la Reine!                                                     Others: Château

King Louis XIV himself                                                                   de

Designed the interior decoration                                              la

And still untouched-                                                                      Reine

The Royal Suite!                                                                               Château

That made VIPs worldwide                                                         de

Revere the Sun King’s                                                                    la

Legendary Hotel!                                                                            Reine!

All: The Queen’s Château… Château de la Reine!

 Scene 1C: Château de la Reine (Courtyard Entrance)

The set changes during the interlude, the corridor hangings rise to reveal the courtyard entrance of the Château de la Reine. The hotel employees appear one after another.

Employees: Bienvenue!

Welcome to the Château de la Reine!

Employees: Château de la Reine!

Mrs. Shimoda: A once in a lifetime luxury

Mr. Shimoda: One last souvenir from the world

Employees: Château de la Reine

Michiru: How gorgeous!

Kanezawa: It’s perfect for us!

Employees: Château de la Reine

Hayami: Being able to stay here…

Kitashirakawa: … is the miracle of a lifetime!

Employees: Château de la Reine

All: Château de la Reine

The tour members all move to enter the Hotel. In the courtyard, the ghosts of Louis XIV and his servant Munon appear.

Louis: Munon, what is this? Who are those noisy people?!

Munon: I believe some Japanese tourists who have come to experience Paris?

Louis: And so, they also come to my Château de la Reine?

Munon: I fear that the hotel management has worsened, and they do not bother to take such care in screening visitors as they used to…

Louis: They just run in and out of the building like monkeys!

The place where my soul resides-

The Château de la Reine

For over three hundred years

Continuing to search      for my lost love       Munon: Continuing to search

Those that dare to interrupt                                                                                                                                                                for the king’s lost love…

My quest to find my beloved

Will not be forgiven!

The stage turns to reveal the hotel lobby.

Employees: Upon our list of past accommodations

Are the names of many great people!

Employees (women): Mozart!

Employees (men): Einstein!

Employees: Grace Kelly and Chaplain

Like everyone throughout the world

Who desires to see the color of dreams

The legendary hotel

The Queen’s Château- Château de la Reine

Mr. Shimoda: Our lives can finally end here

Mrs. Shimoda: It suits our final days

Employees: Château de la Reine

Kanezawa: I’ll tell her my secret and then propose?

Michiru: I want to know everything about Papa!

Employees: Château de la Reine

Château de la Reine

Hayami: To create a new masterpiece!

Sakurai: To get our company out of this pinch!

Kitashirakawa: I can already feel something great will happen!

Employees: Bienvenue! Welcome to

Château de la Reine!

Moving along with the number, the stage has changed to the lobby of the hotel.

 Scene 2: Château de la Reine (Lobby)

Continuing from the front of the Château de la Reine lobby…

Kitashirakawa: Très bien!! Its sense of style is even better than what I’d heard!

The hotel manager, Monsieur Duran, appears.

Duran: Bonsoir mesdames et messieurs! (To Kanezawa) Ça va?

(*TN: The script has the French as ‘madames’ and ‘monsieurs’ which I have been told are not the plural spelling. Take it as you prefer.)

Kanezawa: Who you callin’ a saba, huh?! (TN: Saba = mackerel fish)

Michiru: Papa! How embarrassing…

Sakurai: Everyone, this is the general manager of the hotel, Monsieur Duran.

Duran: We welcome you to the Château de la Reine! For those of you just arriving from the airport, we will have your baggage delivered to your rooms right away!

Kitashirakawa: It’s here!

Hayami: Sensei?

Kitashirakawa: It’s here, it’s here, it’s here---- IT’S HERE!

Hayami: Aaah- the angels of inspiration have already appeared!?

Sakurai: What on earth…

Hayami: This happens whenever he gets an idea! It’s as if something possesses him! He’s known as the exorcist of literature!

Kitashirakawa: Hayami! Quickly- I need a pen and paper!!

Hayami: Yes, here! (To Duran) Uhm… Je voudrais la clé… We are Kitashirakawa and Hayami. Quick, our room key!

Duran: Oui! (Offers the keys.) Here you are.

Hayami: (Takes the keys) Merci! (To the boy) Now, guide us to our room!

Boy: Oh! Par ici, s’il vous plaît …

Following the boy, Kitashirakawa and Hayami exit through the hotel corridor.

Sakurai: Wait, both of you- I haven’t explained yet-

Kanezawa: Hey missy, hurry up and give us our room too.

Sakurai: I understand… (To Duran) Well then, please assign Mr. Kanezawa and Mr. Shimoda their room keys as well.

Duran: Oui, madame.

Sakurai: Everyone, we will be departing for our dinner cruise in exactly thirty minutes. I respectfully request your punctuality in meeting here in the lobby.

The steward boys lead the visitors to their rooms through the corridor.

Sakurai: Well then, please enjoy your stay.

The guests pass Sakurai and Duran on their way out, and once they are out of sight Sakurai and the manager begin speaking.

Sakurai: Monsieur Duran, being able to complete this special tour is all thanks to you…

Duran: Pas de problème. I should be the one saying that. In this recession, we in management can only do so much in the face of such abrupt cancellations. I wonder what will happen now…

Sakurai: We’ll have to keep working earnestly, but before that there’s another matter to discuss…

Duran: Oui, Madame. If it’s about the double-booking…

Sakurai: Shhhhhh!!! (looking around) Anyway, about the baggage replacements… you’ll have to pay meticulous attention.

Duran: Leave it to us, Madame Reiko.

Duran exits the stage. Now alone, Sakurai takes out her cellphone. In a different area of the stage is Togawa, still waiting at the airport.

Sakurai: Hello?

Togawa: Ms. Reiko! Aren’t you running a little late!? I don’t know how much longer I can fend off the customers’ complaints!

Sakurai: Well, that just can’t be helped. My “Light Tour” is a 7-night-8-day package at 1,500,000 yen… while your “Shadow Tour” can visit the Château de la Reine for only 198,000 yen. On a cheap course, you just have to endure some inconveniences along the way.

Togawa: Even if you say it like that…

Sakurai: Anyway, the “Light Tour” members have just checked into the hotel. We’ll be leaving the hotel soon, so go ahead and please leave the airport now.

Togawa: I’m saved!

Sakurai: Are you going to be ok? You have to do the room assignments exactly as I told you. First is room 201, where the Shimoda couple is staying. (In the corridor of the hotel, the figures of the Shimoda couple can be seen.) They seem to be in charge of management for a large electrical company, but the economy hasn’t been very good to that kind of business lately.

Then, room 202 has the real estate kingpin, Mr. Kanezawa. (Similarly, Kanezawa and Michiru can be seen in the background.) He says the reason he joined this tour is to make plans for a Paris-themed casino in Las Vegas- which is more the type of business the economy has been kind to lately. The girl with him, Miss Michiru, is a former hostess… I thought she was his fiancée, but I’m not actually sure…

Togawa: And for the “Shadow Tour”, room 201 is the Iwanamis. And room 202 is the Tannos, right?

Sakurai: Right. But then the trouble comes in room 203, with the writer Kitashirakawa and his editor Ms. Hayami.

As the stage turns, the set of room 203 appears and Kitashirakawa working at the desk comes into view, working on his novel.

Togawa: Trouble?

Sakurai: Mr. Kitashirakawa! If I take my eyes off of him for even a second I don’t know what he’ll do. He walks around with the air of a celebrity- he thinks he’s so special…

Kitashirakawa: ACHOO

Kitashirakawa sneezes.

(TN: In Japan, it’s a common superstition that when you sneeze, it means someone is talking behind your back.)

Togawa: So, after we arrive at the hotel, what should we do?...

Sakurai: After about two hours, take everyone sightseeing.

Togawa: Got it. But… after that…?

Sakurai: You’ve already got a plan, don’t you?

Togawa: The only thing the plan says is ‘don’t come back to the hotel until morning’?!

Sakurai: Oui, monsieur. Bon voyage. Have a good trip.

Sakurai hangs up the phone.

Togawa: Wait… Ms. Reiko? Ms. Reiko!?

On opposite sides of the bridge, Sakurai and Togawa exit the stage.

 Scene 3: Château de la Reine (Room 203)

As the setting of Room 203 turns to the front, Kitashirakawa is sitting as his desk with his manuscript in front of him. His writing progress is not going as well as he thought…

Kitashirakawa: Aaah, it’s no good! I can’t write anything!... I was sure the Angel of Inspiration had visited me before… As I thought from the beginning, this is impossible… writing a romance novel about Louis XIV…

Kitashirakawa sighs, walking up to look at the portrait of Louis XIV in the room.

Kitashirakawa: (impatiently) Look at this ‘perfect’ guy. Politics… Love… Everything the perfect Sun King wanted, he got! When it comes to writing novels, that kind of life is just boring.

Suddenly the light disappears, and a man’s voice echoes through the room.

Louis: (Voice) Boring?! What would someone like you know about my life?!...

Kitashirakawa: What was that voice?...

Behind Kitashirakawa, the ghostly figure of King Louis XIV appears from the painting.

Louis: Barre-toi! Remove yourself from my presence immediately!

Kitashirakawa: (happily) It’s here! It’s here, it’s here, it’s here, it’s here!

Louis: This home is not a place for lowly monkeys like you to visit!

Kitashirakawa: And look! It’s even appeared in the form of Louis XIV himself… Amazing! It’s as if the archangel Michael himself has come before me!

Louis: What nonsense are you spouting? Were you not listening to what I said?

Kitashirakawa: With such kingly flourish! As if 300 years had not past, Louis XIV has been revived before me! Now, Angel of Stories, bestow upon me thine inspiration!

Louis: I am not an angel! I am the owner of the Château de la Reine, Louis XIV.

Kitashirakawa: Louis XIV? … You mean, the actual ghost of the Sun King?

Louis: Do you finally understand? So… are you properly terrified?

Kitashirakawa: Terrified? My pure talent is what’s terrifying! That my overflowing imagination could summon forth even this level of paranormal experience!...

Louis: What is wrong with this guy?

Kitashirakawa: Hey, tell me… If you really are Louis XIV like you say, then you’ve got to know something- right? Something you’ve never told anyone… For example, a tragic love story…

Louis: Why would I speak to you about such things?

Kitashirakawa: So that I can finish my romance novel- with you as the main character!

Louis: How rude! As if I would let you write my secrets into a novel!

Kitashirakawa: Meaning… there is something!

Louis: It has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Kitashirakawa: What kind of secret could it be! Some sort of affair with a noble woman? Or perhaps- a man….?

Louis: I do not have that kind of interest.

Kitashirakawa: Then perhaps you fell prey to the machinations of a woman who only wanted you for your status and power…?

Louis: How dare you! Diana is not that kind of woman!

Kitashirakawa: ~Diana~?

Louis: Ack!

Kitashirakawa: So, that is the name of the woman you loved?

Louis: Silence!

Kitashirakawa: Diana… Diana… The name Diana wasn’t listed in anything to do with Louis that I can remember. But Diana is the name of the Moon Goddess… A forbidden love story between the Sun King and the Moon Goddess… This could work! This could definitely work!

Shocked and appalled at the monkey Kitashirakawa, Louis returns to his place in the painting. The light returns to the room, and the sound of knocking can be heard at the door.

Sakurai: (voice) Mr. Kitashirakawa? Ms. Hayami?

Kitashirakawa: What? I’m finally at a good place…

Sakurai: (voice) Mr. Kitashirakawa? You’re there, aren’t you?

Kitashirakawa: It’s that woman again? Hayami! Hayami!

Hayami comes out of a nearby door to the next room.

Hayami: Yes, yes, Hayami is here!

Kitashirakawa: (Pointing at the door) Do something about her! A wonderful Angel of Inspiration has finally appeared to me! (Realizes that Louis has disappeared) Huh? Where’d he go?

Kitashirakawa goes to inspect the portrait, but the knocking sound returns.

Sakurai: Mr. Kitashirakawa! Ms. Hayami!

When Hayami opens the door, Sakurai jumps into the room.

Sakurai: What on earth are you doing? It’s time for us to depart for the dinner cruise!

Hayami: Oh, is that so?

Sakurai: All of the other customers are already gathered and waiting!

Kitashirakawa: Really? Well, on the contrary, I will not be attending.

Sakurai: That… I cannot allow that! Such selfish behavior will cause trouble for the other customers!

Kitashirakawa: What kind of trouble could it cause? This is my room, after all.

The local guide Pierre enters the room.

Pierre: Madame Reiko, if we do not hurry, we will be late for the dinner cruise!

Hayami: What… an attractive man…

Pierre: Enchanté! I am your local guide- Pierre!

Sakurai: Monsieur Pierre, please gather the other customers and leave the hotel first. I will bring Mr. Kitashirakawa to the cruise myself.

Pierre: J’ai compris.

Sakurai: Sensei… would you mind…?

Kitashirakawa: Yeah, go and enjoy it for me, too.

Pierre escorts Hayami from the room.

Sakurai: Mr. Kitashirakawa, please come with me!

Kitashirakawa: I’d rather write my novel!

Sakurai: You can write it later, can’t you? For example, after the dinner cruise…

Kitashirakawa: You are so persistent!

Sakurai’s mobile phone begins to ring.

Sakurai: (answering the phone) Hello?

Kitashirakawa: If you’re going to chat on the phone, leave the room!

Togawa: (voice) Ms. Reiko! We finally arrived at the Château de la Reine! I just delivered everyone their room keys.

Sakurai: No! No! You have to take the customers out sightseeing immediately!

Togawa: (voice) Ms. Reiko!?

Sakurai hurriedly hangs up the phone.

Sakurai: What should I do…

Sakurai begins to clean up Kitashirakawa’s things.

Kitashirakawa: HEY! What are you doing?!

Sakurai: What does it look like- cleaning!

Kitashirakawa: But WHY?

Sakurai: Because if I don’t clean, we’ll be in a lot of trouble!

Kitashirakawa: Hey!

Crayon: (voice) Here it is! Room 203! Mako-chan, hurry and open it~

Kitashirakawa: Whose voice is that?

Kondo: (voice) Who are you callin’ Mako-chan!!

Crayon: (voice) Since your name’s Kondo Makoto, you’re now Mako-chan!

As Crayon and Kondo approach from the hall, the sound of keys opening the door can be heard. Sakurai drags Kitashirakawa behind the sofa and pushes him down.

Kitashirakawa: GYA!

Sakurai: This is bad! This is bad!

Crayon and Kondo enter the room.

Crayon: Wow! What a wonderful room! It’s kind of like being on a honeymoon~ (Crayons skips over to Kondo)

Kondo: How is it a honeymoon with two men!?

Togawa appears in the doorway.

Togawa: Mr. Kondo, Ms. (?) Crayon. It’s a bit earlier than planned, but I’d like to take you on your first sightseeing tour now…

Kondo: You saved me! Well then, quickly- to sightseeing! Sightseeing, sightseeing…

Kondo quickly runs from the room as if to escape.

Crayon: Hey, Mako-chan! Wait for me!

Crayon leaves the room, following Kondo. Kitashirakawa and Sakurai appear from behind the sofa.

Kitashirakawa: I can’t!... I can’t breathe!

Togawa: Ms. Reiko!?

Sakurai: Togawa! What are you doing? Hurry up and follow the customers!

Togawa: What are YOU doing, Ms. Reiko!? Behind a sofa… alone with a man!

Sakurai: This isn’t the time for weird misunderstandings!

Togawa: But…

Sakurai: Just hurry up and go after the customers!!

Togawa: Y-Yes!

Togawa runs out of the room in a hurry.

Kitashirakawa: HEY! What the hell just happened!? And what was with that okama couple!?

Sakurai: Ah, it must be, a slight error with the hotel…

Kitashirakawa: SLIGHT error?!

Sakurai: Anyway, it seems like there isn’t anything to worry about with the room, so please continue writing your novel at your leisure. Well then, I’ll take my leave…

Sakurai rushes from the room.

Kitashirakawa: HEY! Wait a minute!

Kitashirakawa runs from the room chasing after Sakurai. Once they’re both gone, the ghost of Louis XIV returns, accompanied by strange music.

Louis: Munon. Do something about these monkeys!

Munon: Even if you ask milord, what could I do…

Louis: With people like that around, I’ll never be able to communicate with Diana’s soul.

Munon: I’ve been searching with your majesty for Diana for over 300 years now… Could Madame Diana possibly still be in this Château?

Louis: Are you doubting me?!

Munon: I held no such intent, sire…

Louis: I am certain that I heard Diana’s voice in this Château. She must still be wandering through that deep darkness…

 Scene 4: Château de la Reine (Courtyard Entrance)

Lonely music plays. The stage changes to the Château in the 17th century, covered in moonlight. (This is a mental image by Louis.) While Louis sings on the ginkyo, Diana can be seen standing in the gardens, covered in moonlight.

[The Sun and the Moon]

Louis: Diana… even if you never forgive me, my soul will eternally search for you, my love…

No one knows

How the Sun King of France

Hid darkness within his heart

And how that darkness

Was illuminated by the light of the gentle moon.

In the interlude of the song, Petit Louis appears from inside the house.

Petit Louis: Maman!

Diana: Petit Louis…

As Petit Louis approaches Diana, one leg drags behind him as if hurt.

Petit Louis: Maman! Tell me about father! He was a soldier, right? A soldier who courageously fought against Spain and was a hero of France?

Diana: No. Your father was but a weakling. He gave into the Spanish blood running in his veins and abandoned us.

Petit Louis: Papa… abandoned…?

Diana: Forgive me, Petit Louis. If mama hadn’t believed in your father so much, then your leg wouldn’t…

Petit Louis: Don’t cry, Maman! I’m fine as long as I have Maman! I won’t ever ask about Papa again. So please… don’t cry, Maman.

Diana: Petit Louis…

Diana and Petit Louis share a strong embrace.

Louis: Forgive me! … Diana! Petit Louis!...

Diana                                                                                                    

Goddess of the moon, who illuminated my heart

I search only for you

Diana

The only proof I ever lived                                                                                                                                              Diana: The only proof I ever lived

I will keep searching for you                                                                                                                                                           I wish to forget it…

If only to be able to express to you                                                                                                                                              The cruel Sun King’s

My sincere love…                                                                                                                                                                                ‘Sincere’ love…

Diana!

As the light fades around them, the stage turns to the next scene.

 Scene 5: The City of Paris

Sakurai appears on a dark street outside of the hotel, quickly followed by Kitashirakawa chasing after her.

Kitashirakawa: HEY! Wait a minute! Stop trying to escape!?

Sakurai: Escape?... No, I’m only trying to join everyone on the dinner cruise…

Kitashirakawa: You can’t hide this sham from me anymore! I figured it out the moment I saw those other guys that came in earlier. This double-booking situation was planned from the beginning!

Sakurai: … I’m truly truly sorry!

Having been found out, Sakurai begins apologizing and bowing vigorously in defeat.

Kitashirakawa: You can’t fool the keen eyes of a novelist!

Sakurai: I truly had no choice! Although we planned this expensive tour with the Château de la Reine, we couldn’t attract as many customers as we thought! So… we had to plan a second, cheaper tour attraction…

Kitashirakawa: As I thought! … Well, in planning this second fraudulent trip, were you able to satisfy your greed for money?

Sakurai: If we didn’t manage to collect enough for our settlement by this month’s deadline, my company would go bankrupt!...

Kitashirakawa: Your circumstances really don’t mean anything to me…

Sakurai: Yes, you are right… No matter what the circumstances are, I did something terrible to everyone here… At the very least, I plan to take full responsibility for my actions. I apologize, it is all my fault that this tour will end prematurely…

Kitashirakawa: End?...

Sakurai: Of course, we will offer full reimbursement of your money…

Kitashirakawa: Wait a minute, who said anything about stopping the tour?

Sakurai: I’m truly sorry, but there’s no way for me to reserve the necessary amount of rooms… So, there’s no other way.

Kitashirakawa: Then, you should just continue as is, right?

Sakurai: …What?

Kitashirakawa: The double-booking tour.

Sakurai: What are you saying?

Kitashirakawa: As of now, the only one who’s noticed your little plan is this brilliant author here. None of the other customers have noticed anything at all.

Sakurai: To continue the tour… Are you saying you’ll help me?

Kitashirakawa: Well, I guess something like that…

Sakurai: You would do that for me…

Kitashirakawa: Don’t misunderstand! It’s really not for you.

Sakurai: Then, instead… you don’t mean, for me to spend the night with you…!?

Kitashirakawa: It’s nothing like that!? If the tour were to stop now, it would be a huge problem for me!

Sakurai: What do you mean?

Kitashirakawa: While on this tour, I HAVE to write a new novel by any means necessary! A brilliant masterpiece to resurrect the name of Kitashirakawa Ukyo! Recently I’ve been squeaking by with small serializations here and there- my career as a novelist hangs on the success of this tour!

Sakurai: But, to continue tricking the other customers with the double booking for such a reason…

Kitashirakawa: Anyway, in order to keep up with your sham, I’ll go along with your plan starting tomorrow morning and follow your boring sightseeing or whatever…

Sakurai: Thank you so much! … Well, I don’t know if I should really be thanking you or…

Kitashirakawa: Well, then! I’m going back to my room to write my novel, so don’t interrupt me again! (He goes to leave, then stops.) And make sure none of the others catch on to your plan- do your job properly! Huh!

Turning his back on Sakurai, Kitashirakawa exits the stage. The music slowly changes to Sakurai’s song.

[Another étranger] (TN: étranger means ‘stranger’? This could potentially be very wrong.)

Sakurai: To suddenly chase after someone

I feel something pass through my heart

With kindness                   And with coldness-                         The feelings I avoided

Seem to be reaching out.

The bustle and laughter of the city

All belong to someone other than me.

Just another étranger

Like I see reflected in the shop windows

I desired a time long past.

A temperamental traveler

Just another étranger.

But I can see it reflected              In someone’s eyes…

The destination I’ve been searching for

Another me

Like a lost child.

And staring at myself when I cannot move…

Is just another étranger.

Finishing the song, Sakurai exits the stage.

 Scene 6: Parfum de la Lune

A cabaret in Montmartre, a can-can singer appears during a drum roll. He begins to introduce the start of the show.

[Parfum de la Lune]

Cancan singer: Bonsoir mesdames et messieurs. C’est parti CAN CAN! (TN: Again, was told the French was incorrect idk)

At the singer’s signal, the music picks up pace, and the back of the stage starts a brilliant and shocking Cancan dance. In the audience sit the members of Togawa’s tourist group. Half way through the show, the dancers move to dance among the audience, urging them to dance along. Crayon happily dances along, while Kondo seems embarrassed. The Tannos watch everyone suspiciously.

Cancan singer: Parfum de la Lune

The sweet scent invites you

Parfum de la Lune

Gaze up at the moon in the night sky

Like a fragrant aphrodisiac

Parfum de la Lune

Cancan girls: Even if you’re bored

Or been sightseeing all day

Anyone is welcome here!

Garçon: Do you want to forget that lonely feeling?

Well, let’s get started!

It’s time for our dazzling show!

Cancan singer: Parfum de la Lune

Those are magical words

Parfum de la Lune

The song here is always one of love

Until the moon finally sets!

With the customers: Parfum de la Lune

Parfum de la Lune

Parfum de la Lune Ah!

All: Let’s play through the night!

Ah          Ah          Ah          Ah!

Once the song is over, everyone makes their way back to their seats.

Crayon: To be able to dance the cancan at a real cabaret! It’s like a dream! Right, Mako-chan~?

Kondo: I keep telling you, don’t involve me!

Mr. Tanno: Mr. Togawa, shouldn’t we be getting back to the hotel?

Togawa: That… Mr. Tanno, our sightseeing has only just begun?

Mr. Tanno: We didn’t come here just to play around!

Kondo: Oh, so did you come here for work?

Mrs. Tanno: (Scrutinizing) We… work in import sales. So, we’re looking to buy rare brand items.

Crayon: Amazing! When we get back, can I visit your shop sometime?

Mrs. Tanno: Yes, of course! (Trying to change the course of the conversation) So, Crayon, why did you come to Paris?

Crayon: I guess you could call it a ‘heartbreak trip’. I’m trying to heal my broken heart…

Kondo: I guess okama are miserable on their own.

Crayon: How rude! Aren’t you on your own, too, Mako-chan?

Kondo: I… The person I invited… rejected me…

Crayon: Your lover?

Kondo: No, just someone I liked…

Crayon: So, you invited someone you weren’t even dating to travel to Paris with you?

Kondo: So what if I did?!

Crayon: That… for a first date, that’s a bit too much~

Mr. Tanno: Mr. Togawa, can’t we just do as we like from here? We really want to go back to the hotel.

Togawa: Mr. Tanno!

Mrs. Iwanami: Well then, we will also go back with you…

Togawa: The Iwanamis too?... Please, I can’t allow you to go off on your own!

Mr. Tanno: Why?

Togawa: The streets of Paris at night can be dangerous! If anything happened to you…

Crayon: (Grabs onto Kondo’s arm) Well then, why don’t we all go back together?

Togawa: Ms. Crayon!?

Crayon: I sure would like to be alone with Mako-chan here~ (Shimmies up to Kondo)

Kondo: STOP IT!

Togawa: That, I can’t allow it! No matter what, I will make sure that you all enjoy sightseeing in Paris ALL NIGHT!

Everyone is amazed at Togawa’s raised voice.

Crayon: Well that was sudden… I’m kind of surprised.

Togawa: (returning to his senses) I… I am so terribly sorry!

Kondo: But what do you mean by “all night”?

Togawa: That is… to say… returning to the hotel right now… would be bad…

Mr. Tanno: “Bad”?

Togawa: Actually, about our situation at the Château de la Reine… there is something that I haven’t told you all…

Mr. Iwanami: Well, how ominous! Come now, tell us…

Togawa: Then, I will tell you truthfully… The truth is, all of your guestrooms… are limited to use only during the daytime…

Mrs. Tanno: What!?

Mr. Tanno: Then what are we supposed to do during the night?

Togawa: That is why… I want you to enjoy sightseeing through the evening…

Kondo: Are you saying we’re just supposed to stroll around the city all night?

Togawa: Please don’t worry about that, there are many shops open until the early morning hours!

Kondo: That’s not actually the problem here, is it!?

Mrs. Iwanami: Mr. Togawa, what is the reason behind all this?

Togawa: That is…

Kondo: You… if you don’t tell us the full truth right now, I’m gonna arrest you!

Togawa: A-arrest!? Please, have mercy…

Mrs. Iwanami: Now, now, Mr. Kondo… Stop acting all tough, won’t you? Let’s first listen to what Mr. Togawa has to say. After all, there has to be some sort of extenuating circumstance for all this?

Prepared to divulge all, Togawa vigorously bows to them.  (dogeza)

Togawa: I am so truly sorry! I… have betrayed everyone’s trust with my outrageous actions!... (crying)

Kondo: Now what’s wrong?

Crayon: Seems like he’s just crying…

Mr. Iwanami: Mr. Togawa, raise your head now. At the least, we’ve all agreed to listen to what you have to say, ok?

The stage fades into darkness.

 Scene 7: The City of Paris

On the ginkyo, the members of the “Light Tour” return from their dinner cruise with Pierre. Hayami and Pierre are especially drunk…

Pierre: Everybody~! Did you enjoy the dinner cruise~?

Hayami: Yes, amazing!

Pierre: Non, the amazing one… is you~!

Hayami: Oh, Pierre… In truth, I… am a ~terrible~ woman…

Michiru: Gross! Lady, you’ve really got it bad…

Hayami: What? Are you jealous?

Michiru: That’s impossible…

Kanezawa: Is that true?! Michiru…

Michiru: Papa?

Kanezawa: Really, compared to an old man like me… (he suddenly grabs Pierre’s shoulder) you prefer young guys like this!

Michiru: What are you saying!? The only one Michiru loves is Papa!

Kanezawa: Ya swear it?

Pierre: Well, anyway… there are many places that I wish to take you as your guide!

Mrs. Shimoda: Well then, Mr. Pierre, would it be alright if I asked you something then?

Pierre: Oui, madame.

Mrs. Shimoda: I’d like for you to tell me… What is the quietest and most beautiful place in all of Paris?

Pierre: The Basilique du Sacré-Cœur!

Mr. Shimoda: Where was that?

Pierre: The Sacred Heart temple in Montmartre! It was painted by Utrillo (Maurice Utrillo) as the white temple~!

Mrs. Shimoda: Really… The Sacred Heart temple? Thank you very much.

The Shimoda couple share a meaningful gaze.

Pierre: Well then, let us return! I shall guide you all back to the hotel~!

Hayami: Eh!? We’re going home already?

Michiru: You’ve already had enough to drink, haven’t you?

Kanezawa: (Seeing Hayami tripping over her own feet) Hey, hey, lady, are you ok?

Everyone begins to exit the stage. Mr. Shimoda does not move, and Mrs. Shimoda calls back to him.

Mrs. Shimoda: Dear?

Mr. Shimoda: We… are going to end up causing some trouble for those people, aren’t we?

Mrs. Shimoda: Isn’t ok to do as we like, at least at the end? Just at the end…

Mr. Shimoda smiles at his wife, who looks at him with a sweet smile.

Mr. Shimoda: You always show me such a loving smile, even at times like this. It makes me wish I could have spared you all this…

Mrs. Shimoda tries to keep smiling.

Mr. Shimoda: Fusako… you don’t have to keep smiling. Don’t force yourself to smile.

Mrs. Shimoda tries to hide her tears. As the ending falls, the two exit the stage.

 Scene 8: Château de la Reine (Room 203, Mr. Kitashirakawa’s room)

Room 203 in the Château de la Reine. After returning to the room, Kitashirakawa approaches the portrait of Louis XIV.

Kitashirakawa: Now then! No more interruptions! Come, let me once again gaze upon your true form!

After Kitashirakawa’s voice fades, there is nothing but silence.

Kitashirakawa: Please, I need to know! The truth between you and Diana- Who exactly was Diana? What is the true identity of the Moon Goddess…!?

As the lights disappear, Louis’s voice echoes through the room.

Louis: I will not forgive you…. You dare to speak Diana’s name so lightly!?

Kitashirakawa: It’s here! It’s here, it’s here, it’s here, it’s here!

Louis appears from the portrait.

Louis: Remove yourself from my presence immediately! My soul will never speak to the likes of you…

Kitashirakawa: Even with that kind of threat, do you think I would miss an opportunity like this? Now, come… tell me the story of you and Diana…!

Louis: Silence! You dare to speak her name a second time?!

Kitashirakawa: Why are you trying to hide it? What on earth happened between the two of you?

Louis: There’s no reason I should speak to the likes of you.

Kitashirakawa: Please listen. All I want is to write about your one and only true love.

Louis: True love?

Kitashirakawa: Yes! In the memoirs written about you, you’re almost like a myth- a man with only brilliant achievements and no human faults to be found. But what I want to write is about you as a man and your one true love!

Louis: How foolish… You think the King of France could ever live as a simple person?

Kitashirakawa: Well then, what was Diana to you?

Louis: …

Kitashirakawa: I’ll bet that love was your only proof you ever lived! That is the story of the Sun King that should be passed down through history!

Louis: To live as a king… there is no such thing as true love!... In order to become the Sun King of France, I expelled Dianna from Versailles and sent her here to live in this Château. No matter how much you ask, there is no ‘love story’ for you to find. I still only ask for her forgiveness, and for that reason continue to search for her soul…

Kitashirakawa: Très bien! Beautiful! The anguish of the King who had to throw his own love away… And now continues his eternal search for Diana, as just a simple man. This is the theme I’ve been looking for in my next work!

Louis: After all this, you’re still talking about such things…

Kitashirakawa: Kitashirakawa Ukyo’s second name is the Genius Romance Novelist! Within my creation, the love between two people not bound by time… Well, in my story, you would definitely be able to meet Diana again!

Louis: Foolish! For your scenario to work, Diana would have to appear before us.

Kitashirakawa: You’ll see… What’s needed to bring your reunion about… is Versailles!

Louis: Versailles!? But, she’s still here, in this Château…

Kitashirakawa: Rather, we should summon her in the place of your beautiful, shared memories! To Versailles!

The rhythm begins to change with the Background music.

[To Versailles]

Kitashirakawa: Beyond the boundaries of time

Your two souls are tied together

Louis: A man like you appeared unexpectedly

Bringing hope with you

Kitashirakawa: A fantastic story!

Louis: An absurd idea…

Kitashirakawa: Let’s draw her out!

Louis: Let’s give it a chance.

Kitashirakawa: Like                                                                                                                                                                                       Louis: Like

A feeling of a déjà vu-                                                                                                                                                             The feeling of falling in love

A chance to meet again!                                                                                                                                                              A chance to create anew,

The story of the Sun King and Moon Goddess!                                                                                                                       My story with Diana.

Kitashirakawa: Well then, to Versailles!

Louis: To Versailles!

Kitashirakawa and Louis: Let’s go find the next part of the story!

During the interlude, Munon suddenly appears without warning and interrupts the two.

Munon: But the problem is, exactly how is his Majesty to get to Versailles?

Kitashirakawa: (Shocked) Who are you?!

Louis: Munon. What’s the problem?

Munon: In that kind of dress, you would stand out to people in this modern era…

Kitashirakawa: Aah, If that’s the case, you don’t need to worry. You can just accompany me as a local guide who dresses the part for the tour.

Reassuring Louis with his bright idea, Kitashirakawa begins to lead them in song again. The three of them begin to sing together.

Kitashirakawa: When past and present intersect

An unpredictable story!

Come, to Versailles!

Louis and Munon: Quickly, to Versailles!

All three: Let’s go find the next part of the story!

Kitashirakawa: To Versailles!

Louis and Munon: Quickly, to Versailles!

Kitashirakawa: Now-

All three: Let’s begin… the next part of the story!

As the music ends, the curtain falls.

 Scene 9: The City of Paris

Togawa appears on the ginkyo, followed by the members of the “Shadow Tour”. Mr. Iwanami is singing the military song “Song of the Young Eagle” while supporting the crying Togawa by the shoulder.

Mr. Iwanami: (Singing) The seven buttons of the young-blooded trainee pilots are…

(TN: This was a song used when drafting potential aviators?)

Crayon: (To Togawa) How long are you going to keep crying? Didn’t we already agree to cooperate with you so the people in the “Light Tour” don’t figure out your plan?

Togawa: But, why are you all being so nice!? After I betrayed your trust like that… you should never forgive me! (cries again)

Kondo: Stop blaming yourself so much. It was something you had to do to save your company, right?

Crayon: Mako-chan, you’re so nice!~ And after you kept going on about arresting him earlier…

Kondo: I’m making an exception. If we don’t return to the hotel, then I don’t have to worry about being attacked by an okama in the middle of the night…

Crayon: What did you just say!??

Kondo: No-Nothing in particular…

Mr. Iwanami: Mr. Togawa.

Everyone freezes at the severe tone of Mr. Iwanami’s voice.

Togawa: Y-Yes!?

Mr. Iwanami: Just smile.

Togawa: What?

Mr. Iwanami: When I was young, I left junior high school and applied to military training, where I became a zero-fighter pilot (TN: Mitsubishi A6M planes in the war). The cockpits in those planes were very small, and whenever we intercepted a B29 (TN: American Boeing B29 super fortress) … there was no guarantee whether we would live to the next day or not.

Kondo: Are we about to have to listen to this old man’s war stories?

Crayon: Mako-chan!

Mr. Iwanami: However, even when we were prepared for death, we continued to smile and laugh.

Togawa: Mr. Iwanami!

Mr. Iwanami: After my time there, I became a teacher at a special night high school because I wanted to pass that message along to the children. Do you understand? Especially when things are difficult, you just smile and laugh. Smile for someone that you care about.

Togawa: Mr. Iwanami…! (crying again)

Crayon: Aaah… He’s crying again.

Mr. Tanno: Mr. Togawa… How about this? If you just leave the “Light Tour” customers’ baggage in the rooms, we’ll make sure not to touch or disturb them. Then you can save the time needed for having to move things around, right?

Mrs. Iwanami: Oh, I think that’s a very nice idea! With that plan, we can all work together to help Mr. Togawa!

Togawa: Everyone! I, Togawa Mitsuo, will never ever forget this blessing!

Crayon: Well then, why don’t we head to the next shop? (Takes Kondo’s arm) Somewhere we can have some fun~

Mr. Iwanami: Well then, Mr. Togawa. You must continue to guide us!

Togawa: Yes!!... Well then, please follow me!

With Togawa in the lead, everyone follows along. Only the Tanno couple remain on stage.

Mrs. Tanno: How stone cold. Pretending to be honorable- like you won’t touch a thing.

Mr. Tanno: Sharing a room with a bunch of rich people from the “Light Tour” when only we’ll be there during the day. We won’t get another chance like this.

Mrs. Tanno: You… really are a bad person.

Mr. Tanno: Do you dislike it?

Mrs. Tanno: It makes me love you even more.

The couple also leaves, the stage turning to the next scene.

 Scene 10: The Palace of Versailles (The Hall of Mirrors)

The Palace of Versailles is bustling with plenty of sightseeing tourists. The guide Pierre appears, leading the members of the “Light Tour”.

Pierre: Here we are! Everyone, this is the famous Palace of Versailles’ Hall of Mirrors!

Michiru: How flashy!? This is so my style.

Kanezawa: Wow! This is something! I’ve gotta have a hall like this in my hotel in Vegas, bro.

Hayami: Excuse me, everyone… would you terribly mind not speaking in such loud voices? My head feels like it’s going to break…

Mr. Shimoda: Fusako. What in the world is this place? I can’t believe that one person could have such a place built in only one generation.

Mrs. Shimoda: Well, Louis the XIV was known for his excessive spending. It was the reason the country went into bankruptcy before the French Revolution, I think…

Kitashirakawa, Louis, and Munon appear.

Louis: The one who caused bankruptcy was not I, but Louis XVI! I’m utterly embarrassed to call that man my descendant.

Mr. Shimoda: Fusako, look. There are paintings that reach up to the ceiling.

Louis: Ah, so you noticed! After I was crowned, I had these impressive paintings completed in a mere eighteen years- each one painted by Le Blanc himself. This one here is the War of Flanders, while this one is the War with the Netherlands…

Michiru: (To Kanezawa) Don’t you think that guide is amazing?!

Sakurai: (To Kitashirakawa) So you’re saying he’s… really the ghost of Louis XIV?

Kitashirakawa: Yes! The savior of my novel!

Sakurai: But, to go so far as to make him a tour guide…

Kitashirakawa: It’s a great idea, right!? The idea to make him a tour guide of Versailles suddenly struck me!

Everyone begins praising Louis’ explanations.

Kitashirakawa: Thankfully, everyone really believes he’s just a really devoted guide impersonating Louis XIV.

Mrs. Shimoda: Even so, I wonder why… For such a beautiful palace, this place seems to have a feeling of sadness to it.

Mr. Shimoda: Yes, I thought so too.

Sakurai: Mr. Shimoda, are you feeling alright?

Mr. Shimoda: Oh, yes of course! I was just… thinking about something a former teacher used to tell me all the time.

Sakurai: What was it?

Mrs. Shimoda: When times are difficult or painful… or even sad. You must laugh and survive for someone you care about.

Sakurai: Even in difficult times, for someone you care about…

Mrs. Shimoda: For us, those words are irreplaceable.

Mr. Shimoda: I think our teacher definitely wanted to pass on that hope to live to those of us with no money and no hope.

Sakurai: It’s a lovely story.

Kanezawa: Could you not tell depressing stories when we managed to come all the way to Versailles?

Mr. Shimoda: I’m sorry!... What was I thinking, ruining the mood like that…

Kitashirakawa: I disagree! It is a very interesting life view. Even if you think like that in regards to the Sun King… A king carrying darkness deep within his heart. As he thirsts for the light that can eradicate the darkness, it leads him to build this masterpiece…

Hayami: That’s Kitashirakawa-sensei for you!... What a beautiful interpretation… (suddenly feels sick)

Kitashirakawa: Hayami?

Hayami: I… need to go… to the restroom…

Pierre: Oh, Madame! I will show you the way!

Pierre accompanies Hayami off stage.

Mr. Shimoda: Well then, please excuse us as well. Come, Fusako…

Mrs. Shimoda: Ms. Reiko, are you coming?

Sakurai: Yes!

The Shimodas also exit the stage. Suddenly looking at Kanezawa, Kitashirakawa notices an incident.

Kitashirakawa: Shouldn’t you go as well?

Kanezawa: Me? … Why?

Kitashirakawa: (in a whisper) You’re crooked… (indicating Kanezawa’s wig)

Kanezawa: Crooked!?... CROOKED!?

Michiru: Papa! Where are you going!?

Kanezawa runs off stage while holding down his wig with his hands. Michiru follows him off stage.

Sakurai: That isn’t the restroom, Mr. Kanezawa! Miss Michiru!

Ms. Sakurai chases after them.

Louis: And why did I have to pretend to be your silly guide?

Kitashirakawa: Contrary to your words, you seem to be enjoying yourself quite a bit.

Munon: Yes, it did seem as if you were coming to enjoy it.

Louis: Do not make fun! Forget all that, what about Diana? When will she reveal herself to me?

Kitashirakawa: Don’t panic. We’ve set up the perfect situation for a reunion scenario!

[Reminiscence]

The background music begins.

Kitashirakawa: Our story begins with the Sun King giving a monologue. While alone in this corridor, gather all your nostalgia for Diana, and speak of the beautiful memories you shared here together! Led by your voice, other ghosts may appear and disappear… And among them, you alone can locate her true form! Now, call out to the Moon Goddess, to Diana’s soul…!

As the lights change with the music, aristocratic looking men and women begin to fill the corridor with dancing. Among a group of a dancers, the nervous Diana appears. Kitashirakawa and Munon move to the front of the stage to ‘watch’.

Louis: The first time I met Diana… was at the ball to celebrate the victory of my first battle as king. Although she was only brought into the palace to serve as a maid to the queen, she was luminous… as bright and beautiful as the moon goddess herself…

Aristocrats: Dance!          Dance!

Together with the unsetting sun

Dance!  Dance!

Even as the night begins to fall

Louis dances his way through the people, arriving in front of Diana and offering her his hand.

Diana: Forgive me, I cannot dance.

Louis: Do I displease you?

Diana: No, but I must present myself to the king…

Louis: In that case, you need not worry. I can assure you the king will not be at his station this evening.

Offering his hand again, Diana slowly accepts. The two begin to dance.

Munon: When His Majesty was young, he narrowly escaped death due to the actions of some unreasonable nobility- causing His Majesty a lifetime of pain and mistrust in people. No one could truly understand the depths of suspicion and loneliness in his heart.

(TN: Possible reference to the Fronde Rebellion?)

Kitashirakawa: So, the one who lifted that loneliness was the Moon Goddess Diana…

Aristocrats: Dance!          Dance!

Together with the unsetting sun

Dance!                  Dance!

Diana disappears in the crowd of noblemen, and Queen Maria Theresa and Louis’s mother Anne appear.

Maria Theresa: Your Majesty, answer me. Is it true that vile woman you’ve taken in is now with child?

Louis: Watch your tongue, Queen. If the child is born a boy, then Diana will be the mother to my heir.

Maria Theresa: So… you even intend to hand over the throne to that child!?

Anne: My Queen, His Majesty has been fooled by that woman. His sanity may be lost for now, but soon he will come to realize his own mistake!

Louis: No, mother. My only mistake was ever accepting a princess of the enemy Spain as my Queen! My child with Diana will be my true legacy!

Maria Theresa: What are you saying!?

Anne: Apparently, his Majesty seems to have forgotten. That the child born to him of that woman will also have the blood of Spain running in their veins.

Anne makes a face to indicate that she has a plan and urges Maria Theresa to follow her, and they disappear into the dancing. Louis, angry and with no place to go, dances among the middle.

Aristocrats: Praise! Praise!

The birth of a long desired son

Cutting through the darkness of night    the child of the Sun of France!

A baby’s first cries echo through the halls, and Louis breaks away from the dancers.

Louis: Petit Louis!... The child of the Sun of France!

As Louis moves to try to go to Diana, Anne stands in his way.

Anne: Your Majesty, where do you think you are going?

Louis: To see Diana!

Anne: You cannot. Your Majesty must, for the sake of France, always continue to dance!

In an eerie formation, the noblemen gather around Louis and dance, tossing him about.

Aristocrats: Dance!          Dance!

Even if the sun sets

Dance   Dance

Within the great darkness,          The King continues to dance.

In a cross formation, the nobles move around Louis and swallow him. The back of the hall of mirrors changes to a balcony in the palace. On the balcony, Diana is holding her newborn baby close. Maria Theresa approaches her.

Maria Theresa: Madame Diana… Allow me to hold the child.

Diana: My Queen, it would be too high of an honor…

Maria Theresa: Well, show him to me quickly!

Maria Theresa takes Petit Louis from Diana by force.

Diana: My Queen!

Maria Theresa: Well, how adorable… he looks just like His Majesty…

Diana: My Queen?

Standing over the handrail, Maria Theresa lifts Petit Louis high. A disturbing twilight begins to spread in the background.

Maria Theresa: Louis de Soleil de France… The child of the Sun of France!!

Louis: Stop!!...

As the music hits a shocking accent, Maria Theresa drops Petit Louis off the edge of the balcony. At the same time, Louis manages to shake off the smothering nobles. Along with the accented music, the scene changes. While the nobles continue their disturbing song, they slowly move off stage.

Aristocrats: Dance           Dance

Together with the unsetting sun

Dance   Dance

The glory of the King shines…

Kitashirakawa: But… Petit Louis… What happened to Petit Louis…!?

Munon: Fortunately, his life was spared. But one leg was severely injured, and never properly healed… And so that no more danger would ever befall those two, his Majesty sent Diana away to that Château under the pretext of exiling her…

Kitashirakawa: So, the reason Louis continued to live as the Sun King of France was to protect the ones he loved… but, that love became nothing but despair for Diana…

Finally released from the memories, Louis approaches Kitashirakawa.

Louis: Diana… Where is Diana? (To Kitashirakawa) Why hasn’t she revealed herself?

Kitashirakawa: …

Louis: Answer me! When will Diana be revealed to me?

Kitashirakawa: … I don’t know.

Louis: You don’t know? Didn’t you say if we followed your scenario, then I could find her?!

Kitashirakawa: I don’t know! If you say that the thing that drove Diana’s heart deeper into the darkness was your love, then what would be the light that summons her back to you… How would I write that?

Louis: You have deceived me! Because you just wanted to write your little novel, you tricked me into telling you about Diana!

Kitashirakawa: No, that’s not it!

Louis: You said you wanted to write about true love? For someone that plays with others’ hearts and only thinks about himself… you’ll never be able to write about something like love! No, not of love, and not of anything that could ever touch a person’s heart! Leave my Château immediately… That is my final warning to you.

Louis spares Kitashirakawa one last glare as he leaves.

Munon: Your Highness! Please wait… Your Highness!

Munon chases after Louis. As Kitashirakawa is left on stage by himself, the setting falls into darkness.

[The Story I Wanted to Write]

Kitashirakawa: An empty heart-

And writing to fill it

With the memories of someone other than myself.

And never allowing anyone to read…

The tightly closed            and blank pages               deep in my heart

What I wanted to write

Were the words of the magic I believed in as a child

Adults always spun                         Such kind stories of lies.

What I wanted to write                was the continuation of an unseen dream

But I don’t even know                   the truth of a ‘story’.

And the resulting scratches of pain hidden in my heart…

I never noticed them.

 Scene 11: Château de la Reine (Room 201 and Room 202)

In room 202 of the Château de la Reine, The Tanno couple is going through Kanezawa and Michiru’s baggage.

Mrs. Tanno: Darling, look!

Mr. Tanno: This is amazing! These are all top brand goods!

Mrs. Tanno: What’s this? (She pulls a hair bundle out of the suitcase.)

Mr. Tanno: Isn’t that a wig?

Mrs. Tanno: Gross!! (She tosses it away.)

On the other side of the stage, the Iwanamis are relaxing with some tea from room service.

Mr. Iwanami: No matter how you think about it, this is quite a strange tour. Even if it’s only during the day, being able to stay in such a nice hotel sure is fun. We should really be thankful, don’t you think?

Mrs.  Iwanami: Yes, even though we’re sharing with the Light Tour.

Back to room 202.

Mr. Tanno: Even so, this is exactly the kind of thing that will build up our reputation! *

Mrs. Tanno: Right! With high-end goods to resell, it’s much more efficient than something like card fraud.

Mr. Tanno: Let’s go and sell some of these things in the Jewish shops, then we’ll quickly slip away with no one the wiser.

Mrs. Tanno: Right!

The Tannos begin packing up all the brand goods they’ve found in the room into one suitcase. Meanwhile, in room 201, Mr. Iwanami walks over to the side table and picks some stationary he finds.

Mr. Iwanami: Oh, what’s this? A letter?

Mrs. Iwanami: You know reading other people’s letters without their permission is bad taste.

Mr. Iwanami: You read it too!

Mrs. Iwanami runs her eyes over the stationary her husband hands to her.

Mrs. Iwanami: (as she’s reading) On our journey to Paris… we will also depart on another journey… Dear, is this… is this a suicide note?!

Mr. Iwanami: Yes, it looks like their factory went bankrupt, and they’ve written that they’re hundreds of millions of yen in debt.

Mrs. Iwanami: This is terrible… We have to tell Mr. Togawa right away!

As the stage turns, we see the corridor of the hotel. The Iwanamis exit the door of their room in a hurry.

Mr. Iwanami: Mr. Togawa! Mr. Togawa! It’s terrible!

At the same time, the Tannos are trying to leave their room, causing the two men to run into each other.

Mr. Tanno and Mr. Iwanami: Wah! Gya!

In the collision, the bag that Mr. Tanno was carrying suddenly opens and the goods fall onto the floor. Having heard Mr. Iwanami’s yells, Mr. Togawa approaches.

Togawa: Mr. Iwanami, Mr. Tanno, are you alright?

Mr. Iwanami: Don’t worry about us! Quickly, come here!

The Tannos quickly begin picking up their stolen goods.

Togawa: These brand goods… aren’t these Mr. Kanezawa’s things he left in the room!?

Mr. Iwanami: What!? Then that means?

Togawa: You don’t mean, you two are stealing!?

Mr. Tanno: Damn it!

Mr. Iwanami: (To Togawa) The police! Call the police now!

Togawa: If you need the police, then Mr. Kondo is in room 203…

Mr. Iwanami: Right! (He puts Mr. Tanno into an iron grip)

Mr. Tanno: Ouch! For an old man, how are you this stupidly strong!?

Mr. Iwanami: Whaddya think? Don’t mistake this former navy seal as a sweet old man!

Mrs. Iwanami: Dear! Worry about that later! Hurry, look at this…

Mrs. Iwanami hands the stationary to Togawa.

Togawa: (reading quickly) Is this… a suicide note!? Who wrote this!?

Mrs. Iwanami: It was left in our room. So it definitely belongs to whoever else is staying there!

Togawa: The guest staying in room 203 from the ‘Light Tour’… That’s the Shimodas! What should we do?! Right now, they might be…

Mrs. Iwanami: We have to tell the police now!

Togawa: Then we should go to room 203!

Everyone leaves the stage in a hurry as the ending music plays.

 Scene 12: Palace of Versailles (Gardens)

At a garden in the palace, Kitashirakawa stands alone. Sakurai appears on stage, finding him.

Sakurai: Mr. Kitashirakawa! Just when I thought everyone else had come back, I realized you were gone again. Didn’t you say you were going to cooperate with me?

Kitashirakawa: Is it ok for you to not be watching over the others?

Sakurai: The others are all following Pierre and looking for you. Alright, let’s get back to the group and continue our sightseeing for the day.

Kitashirakawa: Sorry, but… I’m going to go home. Alone.

Sakurai: Are we back at this again? Right now, the ‘Shadow Tour’ members are at the hotel…

Kitashirakawa: I don’t mean go back to my room. If I could just have my baggage collected, I’d like to leave the hotel as soon as possible.

Sakurai: What do you mean?

Kitashirakawa: It’s earlier than planned, but I’m leaving Paris. I know it’s last minute, but could I ask you to help me book a flight?

Sakurai: What…?

Kitashirakawa: You don’t have to worry. I won’t tell anyone about the double booking arrangement. Ah, you can tell the other tour members that I had to leave for some sudden work or something…

Sakurai: But, what about your novel?

Kitashirakawa: My novels… they’re really not important, are they?

Sakurai: Not important!? You said that your career as a writer was hanging in the balance, didn’t you? You said you had to write a masterpiece, right?

Kitashirakawa: Yes, you’re right… But as I am now, I cannot hope to write the masterpiece I wished for…

Sakurai: But… I mean, if you work with that ghost of Louis XIV from earlier…

Kitashirakawa: No, Louis won’t appear to me again. And even if he were here, it doesn’t change the fact that my talent is what’s truly missing.

Sakurai: Saying such self-deprecating things is really not like you. You’re usually walking around with that celeb-aura and brimming with overconfidence?!

Kitashirakawa: Are you… trying to make me feel better?

Sakurai: I’m sorry, I just…

Kitashirakawa: No, it is as you say. I always had confidence in my own talent and believed that I could create any kind of story. But as I have always lived thinking only about myself, how can I even begin to write a story about someone else?

Sakurai: Then, what is your story? Shouldn’t you just write a story about yourself? Actually, I thought about it earlier while listening to the Shimodas’ story. Every person holds within them the words to give another person hope. So, you just have to find them! Those irreplaceable words… your story definitely has them, too.

Kitashirakawa: My story… Could it be that I, as the protagonist, lost sight of my own story?

[A Novel Without a Protagonist]

Kitashirakawa: I wonder when it began?

That I was writing

Such selfish scenarios.

Decorating my words

With only self-recognition-

Of a Celebrity Novelist!                                To distract from

And erase my anxiety…

Sakurai: At some point, I chose without realizing

A journey full of trouble.

On a road without a map

I continued with strength!

When all I really wanted

Was for someone to walk with me.

Kitashirakawa and Sakurai: What vanity-

To walk alone on this road

Like a novel without a protagonist.

Seeking for…     And performing as…

An idealized version of myself.

And even, perhaps,        without realizing            

Hurting                                 someone else

And continuing to search

Kitashirakawa: What I lost sight of…

Sakurai: What I forgot…

Together: The true protagonist

Of my life.

Kitashirakawa: Can I write it someday? My own story that gives someone else hope?

Sakurai: Yes! For someone like me, who’s lost their own way in life…

Suddenly, Sakurai’s phone begins to ring.

Sakurai: (Checking the phone) It’s Togawa. (answers) Hello?

Togawa: (voice) This is terrible! P-Please, calm down and listen!...

Sakurai: I think you should probably calm down first…

Following Pierre, the other members of the ‘Light Tour’ notice Kitashirakawa and Sakurai. Sakurai moves to a separate area to talk.

Kanezawa: Hey! We found ‘em!

Pierre: Oh! We finally found you! We searched everywhere!

Hayami: Sensei! (notices Sakurai) and… Ms. Reiko!? What are the two of you doing!?

Kitashirakawa: What? Nothing in particular?

Michiru: All alone, just the two of you? Suspicious~

Kitashirakawa: There’s nothing suspicious about it!

Sakurai: What did you say!? That can’t be true. They’re right here with everyone else in the ‘Light Tour’ now… (Notices that the Shimodas are missing) Where are the Shimodas?

Pierre: Now that you mention it, I haven’t seen them for a while…

Kitashirakawa: Is something wrong?

Sakurai: (in shock) It seems… a suicide note was found in their room…

All: A suicide note?!

Sakurai: What should I do?... (She begins to put together the signs so far.) Those two, from the beginning… they must have been planning this all along…

Michiru: They’ve gotta be somewhere in the palace?

Kitashirakawa: Why would anyone plan something like that here?

Kanezawa: If it were me, I’d wanna go in the most magnificent place possible!

Kitashirakawa: (amazed) The only one who thinks that way is you. Anyway, we have to find them as quickly as possible! (To Sakurai) The other group of tourists, can we ask them for their help too?

Sakurai: (preparing herself) Yes! Of course we can! I’ll relay the plan to Togawa by phone…

Hayami: What do you mean by the other group of tourists?

Kitashirakawa: Right now, finding the Shimodas comes first! We have to find them before it’s too late!

The intro to the next number begins.

 Scene 13A: The City of Paris

The ‘Light Tour’ members line up in front of the curtain.

[An Extraordinary Search!]

Kitashirakawa: There is no time

For us to waste!

                               All: It’s an emergency!

Kitashirakawa: We’ll succeed with our

Imaginations!

                               All: Where could they be?

Kitashirakawa: Like opening a guide map

Believe in your intuition!

Kanezawa: The Arc du Triomphe or the Eiffel Tower?

Michiru: How about a gorgeous and luxurious opera house?

Kitashirakawa: Those weren’t on the sightseeing course!

Sakurai: If it’s a forest then the Boulogne             or Vincennes

Hayami: How about the Montparnasse Cemetery?

Pierre: Notre Dame could be suspect, too!

Kitashirakawa: We’ll have to find them ourselves!

All: Let’s go through the city of Paris

On an Extraordinary search!

Let’s go through the city of Paris

On an Extraordinary search!

Kitashirakawa: Hurry!

The Light Tour members break off into pairs to search and exit the stage in different directions: Kitashirakawa and Sakurai, Kanezawa and Michiru, and Hayami and Pierre.

 Scene 13B: Château de la Reine (Room 203)

The curtain rises to reveal room 203 of the Château de la Reine. The Tannos have been handcuffed. The music fades into BGM.

Kondo: It was lucky we were on the same tour. I’ll be taking these two back to Japan to face responsibility for their actions.

Mr. Tanno: Are you stupid?

Kondo: What’d you say!?

Mr. Tanno: Don’t you know that a Japanese policeman has no right to arrest people in another country?

Kondo: I dunno anything like that! All I know is when I see a criminal in front of me, I arrest ‘em!

Crayon: Kya~! Mako-chan, you’re so cool! … Even if what you’re saying is a bit unreasonable…

Togawa: Forget all that, we should hurry to help in the search for the Shimodas!

Mr. Iwanami: That’s right! What about the ‘Light Tour’?

Togawa: They’ve split up and are visiting famous places!

Mr. Iwanami: Then, we should also split up and search…

Mrs. Iwanami: But, I have no idea where in Paris someone might want to commit a lovers’ suicide!

Suddenly, the light in the room disappears as Louis’s voice sounds.

Louis: Lovers’ suicide?!

Crayon: (clinging to Kondo) What… what was that voice? Scary!!!

Kondo: Quite clinging to me so suddenly!

Stepping out from the painting, Louis and Munon appear.

Louis: First daring to deceive me, and then finding thieves amongst your allies… Does your shame know no end?! And now you dare to bring about death upon my territory!? I will not allow it!

Togawa: Um, excuse me but, what… are you?

Kondo: (To Crayon) Friend of yours?

Crayon: I dunno this guy!

Louis: Silence, now! Before it is too late, hurry and find those poor souls!

Togawa: But… where should we start looking?

Louis: Must I do everything!? Munon! You will be the leader.

Munon: Yes!

Louis: Come people, follow!

Everyone hurriedly follows Louis from the room. The hotel employees enter the stage from all sides.

Duran: The customer is in trouble!

Workers: The Hotel is in trouble, too!

Duran: What an unprecedented incident!

Workers: Brought to light by the double booking…

All: We need to find a solution!

To protect the Château de la Reine’s

Pride!

Louis and the Shadow Tour members appear on the bridge.

Louis: Now, continue to follow                                                                                                                      Shadow Tour: Being led by the Sun King

You selfish monkeys!                                                                                                                                              On a search!

These Japanese tourists-                                                                                                                         Let’s go through the city of Paris

In my country!                                                                                                                                            On an extraordinary search!

These kinds of actions                                                                                                                             An interesting collaboration

I will never                                                                                                                                                   Let’s go through the city of Paris

Allow them!                                                                                                                                                 On an Extraordinary search!

 Scene 13C: The City of Paris (2)

As people come and go in the city, the Light Tour members run into them, causing a racket.

Kitashirakawa: Well, how’d it go?!

Hayami: We didn’t find them!

Kanezawa: We got nothin’ too. I give up.

Kitashirakawa: Aren’t there any clues? You were all with them all last night, weren’t you?

Michiru: Now that you mention it…

Sakurai: Do you have an idea?

Michiru: Hey, Pierre… Didn’t the wife ask you something? Like ‘what’s the most beautiful and quiet place’ or something?

Kitashirakawa: Why didn’t anyone say that earlier!? Hayami, you were there too, weren’t you!?

Hayami: I’m afraid I drank too must last night, my memory is…

Kitashirakawa: Miserable! Well then, what did you tell her?

Pierre: Oh! I remember! The Basilique du Sacré-Cœur!

Sakurai: The Sacred Heart Temple in Montmartre!

Kitashirakawa: Alright, let’s hurry!

All the members run off stage, forcing their way through the people, ending the scene.

 Scene 14: Montmartre- The Sacred Heart Temple

Montmartre at nighttime. The stage changes to the gardens in front of the Sacred Heart Temple. A chanson singer carrying an accordion appears on stage, singing.

[Chanson]

Accordion player: As your silhouette continues to dance

My memories disappear into a dream

Those happy days are naught but nostalgia

In a phantom-like dream.

The Shimodas appear amongst other random couples, seeming confused.

Mrs. Shimoda: Darling, aren’t you cold?

Mr. Shimoda: I’m not cold, but… I’m scared. You?

Mrs. Shimoda: No, not at all.

Mr. Shimoda: But… we’re going to die?

Mrs. Shimoda: But I’m together with you.

Mr. Shimoda: Did you bring it? The hydrocyanic acid?

Mrs. Shimoda pulls a small bottle from her bag.

Mrs. Shimoda: Even the specialists don’t have this, do this?

Mr. Shimoda: It’s an old product from our factory… but it finally has some use.

Mrs. Shimoda: Look, darling, how beautiful this place is…

Mr. Shimoda: Being able to spend the last moments of our life in a place like this… is a blessing.

Mrs. Shimoda: Yes, dear.

The couple moves to sit down on the bench. Trying to hide her tears, Mrs. Shimoda turns away to hide her face.

Mr. Shimoda: Fusako?

Mrs. Shimoda forces herself to smile before turning back to him.

Mr. Shimoda: I told you, didn’t I? You don’t have to force yourself to smile. Whether you laugh or cry… these are our last moments together…

Suddenly, following Kitashirakawa, the members of the Light Tour appear.

Sakurai: You’re here! Mr. Shimoda!

Mr. Shimoda: You all…!

Kitashirakawa: Thank goodness, we made it! Now, let’s go back to the hotel…

Kitashirakawa begins to approach the couple.

Mr. Shimoda: Please don’t come any closer!

Kitashirakawa: Mr. Shimoda. I heard about the note you two left. That managing your factory took a turn for the worse, and you’ve been left in a great amount of debt…

Mr. Shimoda: Then, you understand! So please, allow us to die in peace, together…

Louis and the Shadow Tour members arrive on stage.

Louis: I will not allow any death here! Do you have no pride in your own lives? In this peaceful world, while being allowed to live freely- you would dare to not only throw away your own life, but the life of your beloved as well?

Mr. Iwanami looks at the Shimodas in surprise.

Mr. Iwanami: Y-You two…!

Mr. Shimoda: Mr. Iwanami!

Mrs. Shimoda: Sensei…

Sakurai: Do you know each other?

Mr. Iwanami: In a way… They were my students. You mean to say… you were the ones who left that note?

Mr. Iwanami begins to approach the Shimodas.

Mrs. Shimoda: Please stop! Please just… look away for a bit. Please…

Sakurai: Ms. Fusako… What was it you said before? In painful times, or in sad times, you have to smile and live for someone? Isn’t that what you told us? You said that those words gave you hope. Even so… are you saying you would choose to die like this?

Hearing Sakurai’s words, Mr. Iwanami’s facial expression looks shocked and pained.

Mr. Iwanami: Koji… Fusako… Forgive me!

Mr. Iwanami bows deeply to the couple.

Mrs. Shimoda: Sensei!

Mr. Shimoda: Please stop! Why are you apologizing…

Mr. Iwanami: I… just wanted to offer poor children a chance at equal education! I wanted you to survive- to live despite the circumstances of the environment you were born in… But in the end, it seems like I was unable to teach you anything at all…

Mrs. Shimoda: Sensei, please… raise your head. It was because your words encouraged us that we were even able to get this far!

Mr. Shimoda: Fusako…

Kitashirakawa: Mr. Shimoda. You are not the only ones dealing with misfortune. Surely everyone is doing their best to live while holding their difficulties in their heart…

Sakurai: I was also unable to properly manage my company. But… in order to protect myself, I did something much more terrible than you!

Kanezawa: For me, well money ain’t really a problem, but… I’ve got worries I can’t tell people about… (He touches a hand to his wig)

Kondo: For me, I haven’t had a girlfriend in thirty years!

Hayami: Forty-two years single!

Crayon: And I’m an okama!

Kitashirakawa: And I… hurt someone. I realized that I had lost something important as a person. But it’s something that the two of you have never forgotten! And that is how to care for someone. Even if you think that your lives have no value… to me, it’s something I can never capture in words alone… an irreplaceable story!

Mr. Iwanami: Koji Shimoda! Fusako!

The Shimodas: Yes!

Mr. Iwanami: Smile. No matter what, smile! This is the only life you get, so if you smile and laugh together… you can go on living!

The Shimodas: Ha… hahaha… (they begin to cry while laughing)

The other members of the group all begin laughing as well. As dusk falls in the sky, the Japanese tourists’ strange crying-laughter fills the air. Louis’s expression changes, as if he’s realized something, and he and Munon exit the stage. As the scene ends, the light fades.

 Scene 15: The City of Paris  - Places des Vosges

On the way back to the hotel, Kitashirakawa begins to sing.

[Kitashirakawa’s Song ~ Sakurai’s Song]

Kitashirakawa: I couldn’t even manage the easy things,

And every time I lost my way-

I hid my face and watched you from far away.

If I could laugh for someone

If I could laugh for myself

Then surely, I can follow my heart forward

To the person who’s smiling face I most wish to see.

During the musical interlude, the background setting changes.

1. Crayon and Kondo

Crayon runs on stage crying, followed by a confused/angry looking Kondo.

Crayon: U-Uwaaaa!!!...

Kondo: You were laughing a moment ago- why are you suddenly crying so much!?

Crayon: I just remembered when I was dumped… It feels like… I’ll never meet anyone who could possibly love me!... Uuuhuu…

Kondo: Don’t cry! Kuroiwa Gentarou.

Crayon: But… the more I try to laugh… the more miserable I feel…

Kondo: If that’s the case, then smile for me instead.

Crayon: …What?

Kondo: When you’re sad like this, I start feeling sad too…

Crayon: Mako-chan!!

Crayon runs over and tries to give Kondo an intense kiss. Kondo struggles and tries to push Crayon away, but then they face each other and Kondo kisses Crayon instead.

2. Kanezawa, Michiru, and the Tannos

Kanezawa: So ya’ll are the thieves who’ve run card scams around the world, huh?

The Tannos: …

Kanezawa: How ‘bout it? Ya’ll leave that rotten lifestyle behind and come work for me?

Mr. Tanno: What do you mean?

Kanezawa: Ya’ll’s language proficiencies and fearlessness are just a bonus! I’m saying come to Vegas and be the general managers of my casino!

Michiru: Papa!

Mrs. Tanno: In Las Vegas??

Mr. Tanno: General managers?

Kanezawa: A’ight, let’s go talk it over.

Kanezawa and Michiru get the Tannos to follow them offstage. The background music changes for Sakurai’s song.

Sakurai: The important things I forgot

When I became an adult…

Every time I lost sight of myself                I kept running

With no place to go.

If I could laugh for someone

If I could laugh for myself

Then I should be able to live

Following the truth of my heart

To the person who I most want to show a smile to…

As the music fades to background, Sakurai exit the stage.

 Scene 16: Château de la Reine (Courtyard Entrance)

Under the moonlight in the courtyard of the hotel, Kitashirakawa happens upon the still, thinking form of Louis.

Kitashirakawa: Louis…

Louis: It seems like you dared to return to this Château anyway.

Kitashirakawa: Once I gather my things, I’ll leave immediately. But- there’s something I want you to hear. I had no intention of deceiving you! I truly, honestly thought that I could bring you and Diana together again. But now I understand, because I didn’t take your sadness and pain seriously, there’s no way I could ever write about something like ‘true love’. But now… I feel like I understand the pain you’ve felt…

Kitashirakawa turns to enter the hotel.

Louis: Wait. Well, I can be patient for a few more days. Patience is a virtue after all… Really, when it comes to you… You really pile up trivial matters and create quite a big fuss of it all. There are many things you do that are foolish. But… what was even more foolish was that I did not truly understand what I had learned from you.

Kitashirakawa: Louis?

Louis: I realized I had forgotten how to laugh. For Diana and our son…

Petit Louis: (voice) Maman! Tell me about Papa!

Diana: (voice) Your father… is a true hero.

Petit Louis: (voice) But… why isn’t he here with us?

Diana: (voice) Your father is the Sun King who illuminates all of France. Even when he cannot be by our side, he still loves us very much.

Louis: I finally realized… that their voices were always full of laughter…

Diana and Petit Louis: (laughing)

Looking up at the moon, Louis smiles softly as the sound of Diana and Petit Louis’s laughter lift his spirits.

Louis: I finally feel as though I can truly meet Diana again. And… I’m looking forward to reading it- the novel about me.

Kitashirakawa: Is… it ok for me to write about you?

Louis: As long as you portray me as an exceptionally ‘good handsome man’, of course.

Kitashirakawa: Ha, I wonder how it’ll turn out?

Kitashirakawa, Sakurai, and Louis come together.

All three: If I could laugh for someone

If I could laugh for myself

Then surely I can meet the one I love from the bottom of my heart.

The person who’s smiling face I most wish to see…

The person who I most want to show a smile to…

 Scene 17: Château de la Reine (Courtyard Entrance)

The next morning, in the opening of the hotel people begin to appear: Kanezawa and Michiru, Kondo and Crayon, and Duran. Some hotel staff follow, carrying everyone’s bags.

Duran: Oh! Monsieur Kanezawa! Is there nothing we can do to thank you for investing in the future management of the Château de la Reine?

Kanezawa: I don’t need no thank yous. Vegas may be my base, but it’s always been my dream to have hotels all over the world.

Crayon: A hotel in Vegas sounds amazing! (To Kondo) It’d be perfect for our wedding~

Kondo: W-Wedding!?

The Tanno and Shimoda couples appear.

Mr. Shimoda: Mr. Kanezawa, what is the meaning of this? I was just told that you’ve taken over our entire debt?!

Mr. Tanno: Seems like everyone here’s been hired by Kanezawa.

Mrs. Tanno: Mrs. Shimoda! Let’s go to Las Vegas together!

Kanezawa: If ya’ll were managin’ a factory all on your own, then you’re like- really good with mechanics, right? To build up my casino in Vegas, I need an advisor who understands all that state-of-the-art stuff.

Mrs. Shimoda: But…

Togawa and the Iwanamis appear.

Mr. Iwanami: Shouldn’t you just gratefully accept?

Mrs. Shimoda: Iwanami-sensei!

Mr. Iwanami: Mr. Kanezawa, I can personally vouch for these two’s personalities. (To the Shimodas) Now then, give him a proper reply.

Upon Iwanami’s words, the Shimodas gather their determination.

Mr. Shimoda: Although we are not worthy of your kindness, we humbly accept!

Kanezawa: Hey hey hey…

Mrs. Iwanami: Doesn’t it sound like you’re replying to a marriage proposal?

Togawa: Everyone! It’s about time to go! The car has arrived in the plaza!

While everyone exits the stage, Kanezawa is left with a relaxed looking Michiru.

Kanezawa: Hey, what’s wrong Michiru?

Michiru: Do you have no intention of saying anything to me?

Kanezawa: Say… something to you?

Michiru: Maybe a ‘proposal’ like what you said to those people just now…

Kanezawa: Michiru… I… I ain’t good enough to marry you. There’s something I been hiding from you…

Michiru: It really doesn’t matter to me. If you’re talking about the lie you’ve told about your looks…

Kanezawa: Michiru!? You… knew?

Michiru: For a while now.

Kanezawa: But is it really alright? Marryin’ someone like me?

Michiru: Did you really think I’d hate you for something like that?

Kanezawa: Michiru!!

Michiru: Papa!

Kanezawa holds Michiru close, kissing her passionately. As the door opens behind them, Kitashirakawa appears.

Kitashirakawa: Ugh! Why did have to see that first thing in the morning??

Kanezawa: Hey bro! Listen! Michiru and I are gonna get married!

Kanezawa: Well, congratulations on that. But, shouldn’t you look in the mirror before you do such a thing?

Kanezawa: Why?

Kitashirakawa: You’re crooked. (Indicating his wig)

Kanezawa: C-Crooked!?.... Crooked!?!

Kanezawa, looking horrified, runs off stage.

Michiru: Papa! Wait!

Michiru runs after Kanezawa off stage. Hayami appears.

Hayami: (Finishing reading the novel) Amazing… To write an entire novel of this caliber in less than a week… Sensei truly is a genius… No, a master…

Kitashirakawa: I changed the title as well. The new title is “The Queen’s Château”.

Hayami: Amazing! To create such a hypothesis that King Louis XIV’s true love lived here- and that she was the true Queen of his heart!

Kitashirakawa: Well, even so…

Hayami: Weaving the intricacies of the non-fiction tale of our real-life double booking and a fiction retelling of the ghost of Louis XIV… A story of love that transcends the boundaries of time! Make no mistake, this will become an instant best seller!

Kitashirakawa: Even though everything was actually non-fiction…

Hayami: Did you say something?

Kitashirakawa: No, just thinking out loud…

Hayami: You don’t need to worry. I’ll be editing this on the plane ride home!

As Hayami goes to leave, Pierre appears in front of her.

Hayami: Pierre!...

Pierre: Madame! Are you really… returning to Japon?

Hayami: Pierre, forgive me… I am truly… a terrible woman who can only live for her work!

Hayami runs away from Pierre.

Pierre: Ma chérie! At least let me embrace you one last time!...

Pierre chases after Hayami.

Kitashirakawa: (Speaking to himself) So even Hayami experienced such a miracle…?

Gradually, Sakurai also appears in front of Kitashirakawa, gazing up at the sky.

Sakurai: Ah, Mr. Kitashirakawa, you were still here?

Kitashirakawa: Yes, I just wanted to enjoy the scenery here one last time.

Kitashirakawa looks up to the sky, and Sakurai follows his line of sight.

Sakurai: You can see the sun and the moon together in the dawn sky…

Kitashirakawa: They were finally able to meet, the sun and the moon…  I heard from Togawa. You’re closing your travel agency?

Sakurai: Yes. I need to start over from the beginning. The double booking was just too much.

Kitashirakawa: So you’re graduating from being a shabby tour guide, too?

Sakurai: Rude.

Kitashirakawa: I’m joking. So, what are you planning to do?

Sakurai: I haven’t decided yet. I think I need to take some time to really figure myself out first. You?

Kitashirakawa: Same as usual- I’ll be writing novels and chased by the pressure of deadlines.

Sakurai: I’ll be looking forward to it. The novel about your own story, like you said.

Kitashirakawa: Right.

Sakurai: Well then, I should be getting to the customers…

Sakurai begins to leave in the direction of the others.

Kitashirakawa: Actually! I have… a favor to ask of you…

Sakurai: (Stops, turning back)…

Kitashirakawa: When we get back to Japan… I’d like to interview you.

Sakurai: Me? … But, why?

Kitashirakawa: I can’t write a story with just the protagonist alone, right? So, I want to interview you… the one who reminded me of what’s important.

[Duet]

Kitashirakawa: Filled with undecorated words

Like monthly novels

Full of overflowing feelings

And interspersed with silence

Everything felt like an incomplete story.

Naturally, I was overwhelmed by this miracle.

Although I’m clumsy,

I want to move forward as myself

And grow with the passing of the seasons.

Sakurai: Even if I unexpectedly remember sadness

I don’t want to forget how to smile.

Towards an unknown world,

I will not hesitate            when it’s time for that new journey.

Together: The story you write

I want to watch over it with kindness.

Using the words we believed in

Together, we can pass on

Our new story that starts now.

 Scene 18: Versailles (Gardens)

After the song, the hotel area of the stage rises to reveal the fantasy-like gardens of Versailles. Meeting again at long last, Louis and Diana embrace each other. Nearby, Petit Louis and Munon watch them happily.

Kitashirakawa, embarrassed, offers his hand to Sakurai. The two leave hand in hand, with Louis, Diana, Petit Louis, and Munon watching after them. The curtain falls.

The end.

[rexylafemme]

this precious time when time is new

things come full circle all the time. ruben touched down in nyc on saturday. micah and i trekked to laguardia to get him, laughing on the way about how ridiculous we all were in the bay, how we bet our lil ruben looks more grown now, seasoned, hehe. the last time micah, ruben, and i were together was for the full pisces supermoon in late summer, september 2015--the night before micah would move back to nyc, our last full night at our house all together. a month before ruben would leave, two months before i would leave. this time, ruben arrived in time for the virgo full moon, pisces’ opposite, in late winter 2017, the coldest, snowiest week we’ve had.

that last night together in september, we drove to alameda beach armed with paper, some stones, herbs & flowers, gifts & letters from ex-whatevers & poem drafts to throw to the ocean, ruben’s signature drink: fireball whiskey (ew), a blunt, some candles, a mini speaker. all the trappings for a spell for letting go, for saying goodbye. bitch better have my money on in the car ride there, our heads hanging out the window, boisterous--our anthem for that year (/always), being broke, undervalued, and continuously doing too much work for too little or free, retail and retail and food service and gigs and workshops and unofficial art modeling and freelance writing and recording and plans that kept falling through. now we were in the home stretch. we laid down our blanket, we set out our herbs, our stones, our candles. we sat in a triangle, wrote silently for awhile: what we would surrender to the bay, what we would leave there, what we couldn’t keep or hold anymore. also, what new journeys we needed new strength for.

we went around and said some words about what we’d written, said some sentimental stuff about each other. poured out some fireball, passed it around til it was gone--so sickly sugary & spicy like melted/liquefied big red gum, coating yr mouth and throat. we stuffed our losses in the bottle and walked to the shoreline. we fumbled trying to figure out a way for all three of us to hold the bottle while we threw it, haha. the moon hung to the left of our viewscape, leaving a moving trail of yellow on the water as we watched the bottle bobble away. i walked into the water alone up to my waist--feeling grateful, trying to absolve myself of this place and all its failures, looking up at the moon and asking it my questions about what next and help and please don’t let us lose this. hearing micah and ruben laugh from the sand, smiling to myself with love for them, sighing and crying a little. no turning back now, can’t hold onto everything, nothing is forever, and then it was over, the night. tomorrow everything would be different. just one more chip off an already broken heart. 

“nothing’s changed!” micah exclaimed laughing as we stood propped against the subway doors on the Q train to brooklyn. ruben and i fake-fighting, the bates motel norma and norman faux-codependence theatrical game we’d play-- we all go a little mad sometimes, there’s a cord between our hearts, etc. the three of us hugging and giggling. after almost two hours of traveling from queens to flatbush, we wound up at micah and sharmin’s for game night. i was in the middle of a two-week marathon of insomnia and ptsd nights, so i was feeling raw/cranky/crazy/depleted/negative and was waiting for my affections to catch up with the present moment. ruben! friends! games! you don’t wanna go home and write by yourself, rex, you fool. it’s saturday night! but knowing when i’m like this, at night i get all weird & doubtful & dark, but reminding myself to just be myself, relax, remember what’s good, no pressure, if you need to leave, you can. and you might even enjoy yourself. and of course i didn’t wind up going home til 2am, spent and full, as suddenly the future hit--clocks springing ahead to 3am for daylight savings.

but before that, sharmin’s friends arrived trickle by trickle until there were about ten of us.  uno, jenga, slapjack, drinks, snacks, bullshit, taboo (team names: beyonce v. solange, and ruben and i were on the solange team, the weirder, low key underdog, and we won), stories, music, nintendo, laughter, newness, familiarity. it felt so nourishing to be in a room full of working class folks, folks from queens and bk, and ruben & micah: the two down suburban qts, home people--that easiness and fluency that comes with not having to explain yourself, everyone just getting it, breathing room & shared experiences.  micah and i trying to explain all the wild connections between the people in the bay and the people out here. how i met sharmin, tanya (& tres tho only briefly), and jesse through black brunch organizing in 2014 when i was visiting home from the bay. learning sharmin and jesse both were from my qnz hood and knew my childhood bff ro through other organizing avenues. jova and reuben knew sharmin, too, and tanya and tres, jova having told me tanya and i needed to know each other way before this meeting bc of our poor white femme nyc/nj lives. later, when i moved home and jova was so right about tanya and me, and someow tres & tanya had known micah round the way (?!?!?!). and before that, when micah first moved back to nyc, he called me to talk about some amazing femme he met at the club--something that never happens for us--being so enchanted or even pursued at the club (partially bc we never even bothered to go), and as he described her, i was like, “wait, is her name sharmin???” hehehe, clearly micah can’t get enough of catty witches from queens. explaining the connections between all the ex-friends-&-lovers, too--nyc, the bay-- disenchantments & the chaos and the relief that it was all over. happy to be laughing about it now. ending stories. we have no past, we won’t reach back; keep with me forward all through the night.

origin stories. apparently, the first night ruben moved into our 668 apartment, micah and i were hosting a big party. i laughed and apologized retroactively, but it so sums up where we were at at the time. ruben said it helped him integrate tho, he felt welcomed and i remember being so thrilled to introduce him to everyone. realizing how much the three of us got each other through those two years--all the drama, all the marches, the confusion, blowouts, heartbreaks, housing scares, bad jobs, the nights, the mornings--waking up with glitter on our faces, splayed eyeliner, party carnage, or just waking up to work & life fatigue, big breakfasts, sitting in the sun on our stoop year-round. so much we shared and still a lot of room for things we couldn’t say and didn’t have to. but, how home the three of of us felt to each other then, and now, and how we extended that sense of home to others--sometimes guests sleeping over in every room of the house except the kitchen, our place a safe zone on march routes, multiple sets of people staying with us through rocky times, the big meals we’d host when i was working at  farmers’ markets & the spice shop simultaneously, pooper cat game nights, the trigger warning performance series + parties we threw out of the house. talya called our place the gay frat house (tho i have to say in defense that it was quite clean). leo sun/leo rising/leo moon trio. so familiar, so sweet, so effortless, so open. our little clubhouse, our little family. remembering is good if you don’t let it be the fear in you.

i think we felt lacking then, i think we felt we couldn’t get our footing or find somewhere where we belonged-- but looking back, we created what we didn’t have and we invited other people into it. all the adult misfits. we got burned by being open indiscriminately and it made us shrinking violets by the end, but we’re blooming again now. riding that bloom wave.

at one point the other night, i overheard sharmin say to a friend, “aren’t they so cute? they’re such teen boys over there.” as we were sitting in a corner doing our thing. and that was always true of our vibe-- our bond full of youthful, long-lost brother feels. but, soft, feminine boys, & sometimes we’re not boys at all. 668 40th st, living one up from hell, we’d joke, which maybe is what gifted us that mythical queer fountain-of-youth gene where we look 17 forever. young leos. after long days of work + grad school madness (me) or undergrad madness (ruben), in between assignments, projects, art, meetings, shifts, we were always watching movies from our childhoods, making forts, running around in our underwear, making art on the floor in the living room, doing drag, playing board games, talking shit, pushing each other around and wrestling and cuddling and teasing each other, holding hands and being protective of each other when we had to. our intimacy--so easy & necessary & good & a balm from the bad intimacies we got lost in at times. we grew together: we all taught each other things and challenged each other, especially through our differences. bb ruben had never met a trans person before and micah and i were like “well, here we are!” and both of us so different in our trans-ness. we were all so inviting & open to excavating each other so we could be better at honoring who we all were.

and in new york now, finally living here on my own terms, regardless of the obstacles: housing scares and failures, the last of the bad intimacies (i hope), and family, i am thinking of who i was before. the sense of un-belonging that’s had me leaving new york over and over, the pain of lineage that had me craving escape, craving to be someone else, craving to leave them all behind. while simultaneously always trying to make sense of the people i come from so i could make sense of myself: the grief i never let go of, the contradictions, the violence and the nourishment of us. how all of this and my own self within it--freakish, theatrical, full of shadows, so of them & yet so so other--had me always searching. the people, the others: i was always looking for and the ones i always found. there were the inexplicably lovable yet destructive ones who reified all of the patterns in me i was always trying to leave behind, and then i finally did. bye. and then all the people who were so new; whose influence, paired with my own, allowed us to make something from nothing-- magic, create beauty from old tragedies, whether we spoke of them or not. cosmic people, like ruben and micah, the pretty, sweet boys. boys who weren’t afraid to cry or to touch or to admit to love and fear and failure and wanting. and the three of us, whoever we are and will be, knowing our love was/is strong enough to withhold our leaving, being apart, and all of the transformations that would flush out of walking away, of change. that there would always be a road back. paths that cross will cross again!

and ruben is still here until saturday, so my sentimentality is running away with me. blame it on my wild heart. hehe.

[213hiphopworldnews]

Skip The Stadium Tour And Visit America’s Coolest Small Music Venues

Unsplash / Uproxx

Switching Scenes is brought to you by Boost, a brand that knows the best experiences come when you change things up.

Attending a huge stadium or arena tour can be magical. Elaborate lights and stage design elevate a good show into a theatrical, once-in-a-lifetime event. Something about assembling of 18,000+ fans in one room turns the air electric. The floor thrums with so many feet dancing and the walls shake from the chorus of voices singing along. Music is an expression of emotion that’s best experienced live, in the company of others.

But as cool as giant stadium shows are, they can also be a massive headache and even bigger money suck. When a nosebleed seat to Taylor Swift costs $125 and you spend an hour and a half trying to get out of the parking lot after the encore, you might question the time, money, and energy commitment of seeing your favorite artists in concert.

Thankfully, you don’t have to go to a stadium or arena to see world-class music. Some of the country’s best music venues only have room for a few hundred (or few dozen) attendees. Every artist gets their start somewhere, and most of the folks who play arenas these days got their start playing small gigs at run-down local spots. Check out some of America’s coolest underground music venues and discover your next favorite artist in the process.

1. Stubb’s Indoor — Austin, Texas

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Today is the last day of our holiday ticket deals! Don't miss your chance to get your hands on deals to see great bands like @nightcapatx. Valid until 11:59pm tonight, link in bio. Photo by @alexparkermedia via @nightcapatx

A post shared by Stubbs Bar-B-Q (@stubbsaustin) on Nov 26, 2018 at 3:13pm PST

Stubb’s Waller Creek Amphitheater is a famed 2000-odd capacity venue in the heart of downtown Austin, with recent visits from The National, Kacey Musgraves, and Lizzo. But I’m also partial to the venue’s indoor space, which holds about 150 standing room. The folks who book shows at Stubb’s do an incredible job finding artists just on the cusp of breaking big — in the last year alone, I’ve seen Soccer Mommy, Half Waif, and Charly Bliss play the Stubb’s Indoor stage.

Also, Stubb’s sells BBQ upstairs until showtime, so get there early and pregame with some brisket and mac and cheese.

2. Bluebird Cafe — Nashville, Tennessee

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Our open mic crowd was in for a surprise tonight. Jonathan Singleton & @rascalflatts stopped by to play their new single "Yours If You Want It" and of course there was an encore. #bluebirdcafe #nashville #newsingle #rascalflatts #songwriters #yoursifyouwantit

A post shared by Bluebird Cafe (@bluebirdcafetn) on Apr 24, 2017 at 6:24pm PDT

Nashville’s Bluebird Cafe is teeny tiny, but its reputation precedes it. Since it opened in 1982, the Bluebird has featured low-key acoustic sets from some of country and folk’s biggest stars, and features performances every day from Nashville’s local talent on the rise. Bluebird’s open mic nights are a great place for discovery, whether you’re a songwriter or industry professional looking for the next big thing or just an enthusiast ready to hear some great country.

Kacey Musgraves first met her husband Ruston Kelly at Bluebird Cafe in 2016, and I can’t think of a more magical place for a meet-cute.

3. Berlin — Chicago, Illinois

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GUESS WHAT?? The special guest for the Stardust 10 Year Anniversary and Funeral was just announced — @kimpetras PERFORMING LIVE TONIGHT 10/18 Get your Halloween jush in full motion with an unforgettable night with @amandalepore @slayrizz @trexinchicago @tyislucystoole @jeezloueez @bon_abhijeet @jforpaydotcom @fabulous_freddie_ninja @scottiecramer @sheiseverywoman @imp_kid and more!!! don’t miss out! #kimpetras #amandalepore #slayrizz #krizz #trex #trannikarex #lucystoole #stardust #nightlife #party #lgbtq #queer #gay #trans #thursday #boystown #chicago #dance #music #dj

A post shared by Berlin Nightclub (@berlinnightclub) on Oct 18, 2018 at 5:32pm PDT

Berlin isn’t a music venue in the same way most of the other spots on this list are. A nightclub on the edge of Boystown, its stage is known for some of the city’s best DJ sets and drag performances. But every so often, some thrilling performers visit there. A friend saw Kim Petras and Charli XCX play there, and stood close enough to the stage to see Petras’ pores.

Berlin is one of the most famous gay bars in Chicago, a vibrant part of the city’s nightlife and open haven for all who frequent it. Go for a drink and dancing, and if Charli XCX shows up, it’s just the icing on the cake.

4. The Blind Pig — Ann Arbor, Michigan

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@jidsv 2/14/2019 : @tslcproductions • • • • • #crowdshot #jid #dreamville #sonya7ii #photography #concertphotography #tourphotography #blindpig #annarbor #uofm #uofmichigan #michigan #venue #club #nightlife

A post shared by The Blind Pig A2 (@blindpig_annarbor) on Feb 19, 2019 at 3:09pm PST

I went to school in Ann Arbor, so I’m probably biased here, but The Blind Pig might be my favorite small venue. The place has been open since 1971, and has brought some of rock’s most legendary acts to Ann Arbor. Lucky Michigan students in the ’90s could catch sets by Soundgarden and Nirvana, and current Tree Town residents can go to performances by icons on the rise like Girlpool and Mitski. The Blind Pig holds 400 standing room, but the homey vibe of the place makes it feel even smaller. You can also catch some great local musicians there. Before they were selling out Red Rocks, I saw hometown heroes Vulfpeck bring the house down at the Blind Pig.

5. Lestat’s — San Diego, California

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Come check out #Lestats West #openmic night! It all starts tonight at 6:30 p.m. YOW! There are always cool shows to attend!! #musicians #musiclovers #musictherapy #lestats #coffeeculture #coffeelover #coffeebreak #coffeetime #coffeelove #coffeesesh #coffeeshop #instacoffee #photographer #visualsoflife #ourplanetdaily #sandiegoliving #today #neverstopexploring

A post shared by Lestat's Coffee House (@lestatscoffee) on Jul 25, 2016 at 11:41am PDT

Lestat’s is a coffee shop that takes its name from Anne Rice’s Interview With The Vampire, but the place is also a legendary hub for San Diego folk music and comedy. Local talent like Jason Mraz, Anya Marina, Greg Laswell, and others got their start performing at open mic nights, and the venue is still full of the thrilling promise that anyone can take its stage, and anyone can make it big.

I’m sure the arenas in SD get some exciting acts too, but I doubt their concession stand makes as good an almond milk latte as Lestat’s.

6. The New Parish — Oakland, California

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This is what happens when @g_eazy does a special show in The Town! Everyone shows up & shows out. Epic to say the least. #geazy #hiphop #oakland #thenewparish

A post shared by The New Parish (@thenewparish) on Jan 28, 2019 at 12:50pm PST

If you’re a fan of hip-hop, dancehall, and everything in between, The New Parish is a great place to check out local and touring talent. Although it’s only been open since 2010, The New Parish has hosted established acts like Mos Def and Dave Chappelle, and almost every night the venue has a killer comedy or music show booked. You can catch some theatrical punk (Iceage) or teen pop (Olivia O’Brien), or plan to go to one of their bimonthly reggae/dancehall nights.

7. The Echo — Los Angeles, California

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The Echo at the end of the rainbow

A post shared by The Echo + Echoplex (@theechola) on Mar 22, 2019 at 1:45pm PDT

The little sister of the Echoplex, the 350-capacity Echo is one of the best spots to check out hip-hop, pop, and pretty much everything in Los Angeles. The Echoplex, at more than twice the Echo’s size, gets bigger shows, but the Echo is ideal for seeing an intimate show with local and rising talent.

In Los Angeles, it’s hard to even find a place that sells a cocktail for $12, but you can catch some cool indie acts like Sasami and Dilly Dally at The Echo for less than the price of a rice bowl at Sqirl.

8. The Bowery Ballroom — New York, New York

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@smino & friends brought the funk to a #soldout crowd last night! : @anniebkane #smino #bowerypresents

A post shared by Bowery Ballroom (@boweryballroom) on May 3, 2017 at 8:18am PDT

In a city as big as New York, where every subway car seems 500 people over capacity, finding an intimate venue can be difficult. The Bowery Ballroom is small for the Big Apple — 575 capacity, But the venue has hosted some killer acts. Lorde performed Melodrama in full on the day of its release, and I am still so jealous of the friends of mine who were lucky enough to be in that pit. The Bowery has also hosted acts like Car Seat Headrest and Lana Del Rey, and you can go there and try and find the exact corners of the venue that appeared in the 2000 cinematic classic Coyote Ugly.

9. 40 Watt Club — Athens, Georgia

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Johnny Marr – Sold Out !

A post shared by The 40 Watt Club (@40wattathens) on Oct 13, 2018 at 8:02pm PDT

The 40 Watt Club is home base for many of Athens, GA’s hometown heroes. R.E.M., Of Montreal, and Neutral Milk Hotel all got their start in Athens. If you’re lucky, you can catch one of them playing a low-key set, but 40 Watt also gets plenty of rising local stars and touring talent. The venue has moved and renovated a few times, but since 40 Watt first opened in 1978, it’s been an instrumental part of local history. Some of rock’s biggest legends got their start playing tiny shows there, and there’s sure to be many more who grace its stage.

10. World Cafe Live — Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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So cool to see artists we have recently hosted like @spaceykacey (Album of the Year winner) @brandicarlile (Americana Album of the Year winner) and @pjmorton (Traditional R&B Performance of the Year) recognized at the 2019 #Grammys last night. Congrats to all! Photo by @senialopez.photography from Kacey’s #FreeAtNoon a few months ago

A post shared by World Cafe Live (@worldcafelive) on Feb 11, 2019 at 7:52am PST

World Cafe Live is one of Philadelphia’s most unique venues. Housed in a former art deco factory, there are actually two stages. The upstairs room can hold about 220 guests and features floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook the historic city. The downstairs, which can accommodate 650 guests, is a little bigger, but no less beautiful. There’s no bad place to stand in this venue, whether you’re right at the stage or with a sweeping view from the balcony.

If you’re catching a show downstairs, the upstairs is open for dining with a full menu. You can pay $20 for a hot dog and nachos at a stadium, or you can get a salmon dinner at the venue before you catch Kacey Musgraves at World Cafe. With the diverse array of exciting acts in pop, hip-hop, and indie that pass through World Cafe Live (and all of these other venues), consider skipping the arenas and checking out the local talent and culture in your city.

source https://uproxx.com/life/best-small-underground-music-venues/

[howlfromthecore]

About me

People have started following me, and I’ve been having some interactions, so I guess it’s time to make one of these.  Hi there! I will not be using any pronouns; I choose not to let Tumblr in on my life according to gender. (Trans people who disagree with me on an issue will probably read that and assume I’m cis; cis people who disagree with me will do the opposite; but all of you will probably end up using an ad hominem attack based entirely on the me you’ve constructed in your head, and we’ll all know that)

I was born in the Northeast USA, to lower-middle-ish white parents. When I was 4 or 5, it was 1989 and my mother was fretting about where I should go to kindergarten. The local schools were Bad. To my parents who never questioned their right to exist, this may have meant there were too many students of color. In the search for alternatives, my mother discovered homeschooling, and, like pretty much everyone who discovered homeschooling in the mid 80s to late 90s, promptly ran straight into the Christian Evangelical Fundementalist Groups that took over the homeschooling circles in between those years. If you’re not familiar, and you want to be, or you’re curious, go to the HomeSchoolers Anonymous Page over on Wordpress. One of the important bits of this ideology is that women should have as many children as they possibly can. So my mom did. 

Six jesus, rush limbaugh, peter marshall, and ken hamm -filled years later, I had 4 younger siblings and my mother, having completely lost her grip on reality and kicked my dad out of the house, locked herself up and prayed, cried and sometimes dug into walls and appliances looking for listening devices. 

Somewhere around this time I started going to a Christian school run by an assemblies of god church. Zionism(with a fun usa-centric twist entirely made up by the youth pastor!), purity/chastity culture, manifest destiny as history(”the gospel movement westward”), genesis as science, and other fun and totally necessary things. The kids were terrible except for a few of them, and I got along as well as anyone who is being plunged into the world of schoolkids for the first time at 12 after being isolated with toddlers for years while still dealing with 4 siblings, separated parents, and a skitzophrenic mother could possibly do. 

I went to the school for 4 years, went to a public high school for my senior year (which really ought to have been my junior year). Custody fo rmy siblings and I had been shifted to my dad, and we went to live with his parents. Public school was great, I had fun, I was an arrogant little shit who believed in Jesus Christ and George Bush with all my heart. I said to my history teacher that being gay was a sin and endured his subsequent verbal takedown(because he wasn’t the kind of guy to let such things go unchallenged). Actually, I’m grateful every day to Mr. George Noyes, who was the first person to ask me if I really believed something or if I was just repeating what my parents had told me. (Spoiler alert: I was repeating what my parents had told me) God, I think I must have repeated every right wing talking point in that man’s class. I left his class every day exhausted from arguing with him; he’d put me through the wringer, challenging everything I said with such righteous certainty and I loved it. I hated it, but I loved it. The seeds he sowed took years to blossom but he started it. 

After high school, I worked in a deli for the summer and then headed off to Basic Training, the beginning of the next 4 years that didn’t include combat but did include injury and harassment and also the queer and magical communities. the first people to come out to me, to let me know it was OK to like [gender], and the first people to teach me to work with energy and cast circles were all in the Army.  I guess you ought to know that I didn’t see any other options for myself; not only had I always been taught to glorify the military, but my guidance counselor was also the school recruitment liason and no one ever mentioned community college or Pell Grants. Oh, I also started associating with liberals. 

Got out of the Army near the end of 2007. Moved to California because Californians were shiny and I really wanted to know why. Lived in Sacramento for 5 years, working a variety of retail jobs while graduating from a scammy auto tech program, and then going to Sac city college on and off. Had lame jobs and good jobs and wierd jobs. Sometimes had no job. Sometimes was on friend’s couches. Always sharing apartments or living spaces with others. Had partners of various genders. Loved them each, love some of them still. 

Moved to Oregon eventually, following my then best friend. Lived in a college town for another 5 years, working various retail, having partners of various genders, and becoming a tiny bit politically active. Started having full-fledged panic attacks in 2015 or so while working two jobs after my best friend broke up with me. 

Had a crazy adventure involving a foray into the kink world, an person whos panic disorder came out as abuse, a winter in a North Midwest state, and a return to OR to recover, eventually spending the summer working on the Bernie Sanders campaign. 

There were some more adventures, both good and bad, including some in Philadelphia during the 2016 DNC. 

In the Two years since, I’ve drifted further and further left, and become increasingly involved with reclaiming, permaculture, nonviolent communication, and anarchist circles. I’ve also been pursuing higher levels of skill as a cook. 

I don’t like binaries or absolutes. I don’t like false binaries or ultimatums. I have unpopular and controversial opinions and I don’t align myself with any group of people that advocates for the wholesale slaughter of any other group of people. I believe that every action is an attempt to meet a need. i do not align myself with any group that operates through power-over structures (though I will work alongside such groups when the need arises). I do believe in centering the voices of marginalized folks. But I don’t believe that being marginalized exempts anyone from the oppressor litmus test; I’ve seen people act incredibly abusive toward their communities while basically claiming that all of their actions were justified or excusable because they are belong to an oppressed or marginalized group. This is the logic that the occupation of Palestine and genocide of the Palestinian people is being carried out under and I’m not aligning myself with any group or person who uses it to excuse inexcusable actions. (This doesn’t mean I’m into tone policing or overzealous insistence on “civility.” I just don’t like abusive people or dynamics and they come in all colors and flavors.)

So that’s me, I guess. I have good days, bad days, I’ve wrestled with depression and suicidal ideation, I’ve touched and changed people’s lives, I’m loved and sometimes I forget that. I love everyone and I mourn for all who are cut off from our best selves.