#too bad I'm far behind with the episodes

[weirdlittleberry]

Ed Helms guest on The Office Ladies!

From Jenna Fischer's Instagram

[seeminglyseph]

I swear I didn't mean to fall back into Critical Role bullshit but if Gale wasn't so Unfailingly British I would've been more suspicious about how extremely similar his wizard angst aesthetic was geared towards Caleb Widogast fans.

When that Mighty Nein animated series comes out I'm gonna be throwing more bread crumbs at the Gale stans to try and get people to come join me because so far I've been sitting here tossing them from ShadowGast hell like 'I'm sorry I know it's a huge time commitment, I really don't expect you to watch that whole thing, truly I know it's way too much, they are planning on animating it! I know Essek doesn't show up until episode 57! I'm sorry! I know! it's so good though! I think it's their best campaign! I know it's very long! I really wish there was an official abridged cut! I'm sorry! It's really got the best characters even if it's a bit of a slow start! I know! I'm sorry! It's so good! It changed me as a person! Yeah Sam Riegel is dressed as a leprechaun during one of the most emotional episodes, I know! He still does a great fucking speech dressed as a leprechaun.'

And I'm throwing more bread crumbs. The Mighty Nein are so important to me. It was one thing to watch the campaign as it came out, it's impossible to express that it's worth watching as 141 4+ hour episodes of content to people now. especially as campaign 2 out of 3. but I genuinely love them the most and I'm sorry for Vox Machina and Bell's Hells purests I just. love the Nein. I will freely admit that I am biased and it's my opinion and probably just like. because I relate to them more and found the plots and storylines more compelling because they resonated with me and where I was in my life not any particular objective level of like. Good or Bad. But like. I just. Love them a lot. and I want to share it with everyone. and I struggle to let go because I'm a dweeb. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my aggressive dweeb disease. aaaaaa.

[ozzgin]

OZZGIN!

May I request an idea/imagine?

It is about yandere! mental asylum patient and psychiatrist! reader, who is very practical and strict regarding her job, takes no BS from others. But, for some reason, she has a soft spot for yandere! mental asylum patient. The reason could either be he had a hard childhood in which he had to do what he had to do, which brutally killed his father, who used to abuse his mother and sister, but when the father tried to sell the sister into prostitution to buy more alcohol, all hell break lose. Psychiatrist! reader thinks what yandere! mental asylum the patient did was OKAY, and she wants to get him out of the asylum. They love each other deeply and would do anything, so far as to kill for one another. If you can, make it as twisted as you can. I live for some dark romance!

Please ignore my request if you are not able to do it. I completely understand. Thank you in advance! <3

Oh my, this request hits somewhat close to home as I have a friend incarcerated for similar reasons. I'm pondering the logistics behind this context you've provided, since murdering someone won't necessarily land you in a psych ward unless there are other symptoms that come with it. And so I've taken the liberty to expand the character's profile if that's alright. (Conveniently enough I still have my psychopathology lecture notes)

I want to add, however, that this story in no way romanticizes mental illness! If anything, one may consider it an opportunity to reflect on the fact that so many people struggling with disorders do not receive the proper care for it, or only do so when it's too late. Furthermore a medical professional should never, ever behave like this and whatever is written here should stay in the realm of fiction!

Yandere! Patient x Psychiatrist! Reader

Featuring a patient that's pushing the boundaries of your work ethic and might even succeed.

Content/warnings: female reader, detailed mentions of mental disorder, violence, obsessive behavior, breach of professional conduct

You roll up your sleeve and check your watch. He should be here soon. Out of habit, you shuffle the papers for a quick case review, even though you already know all the details by heart. You carefully set aside the patient’s MMPI and WHODAS entry assessments, then your first interviews. Your eyes briefly rest upon the resulting report you’ve comprised: Schizophreniform Disorder (Provisional) with good prognostic features; Diagnostic criteria consisting of delusions, disorganized speech (frequent derailment with episodes of incoherence, echolalia) and comorbid catatonia. Responds well to antipsychotic (clozapine 25mg/12 h) with no imminent need for dosage increase. As it currently stands, he will be fit for proper incarceration in less than 6 months. Is it something you agree with? Not quite. You’ve presented your case many times and it has always been met with pitiful shrugs and dismissals.

The door opens and you fix your posture, sweeping the documents back into your drawer. “And? How are you feeling today?” You ask, flashing a professional, cordial smile as the assisting nurse leads the patient to his seat and prepares her leave. “My chest hurts.” The man answers in a low voice, glaring at the nurse. He taps his foot against the plush carpet, seemingly restless. “How bad would you rate it? Chest pain is a somewhat common side effect of your medication.” You retort, following the movements of the woman finally excusing herself and exiting the room. Once you’re alone, the man’s shoulders droop and he visibly relaxes. “It’s not that, you know it. When can I touch you again?” He pleads, despair twisting his features. You tense up at the words. “Behave yourself. It hasn’t been that long.”

It’s not something you’re particularly proud of. In fact, you might even call it one of your great shames in life. You’ve always been a textbook professional, perhaps even too strict according to your coworkers and most patients. Not even in your wildest dreams would you have dared to imagine you’d violate the code of ethics by falling in love with your patient. But something about his situation stirred your sense of justice. Surely one cannot be punished for protecting their loved ones. The only criminal in the equation, at least in your eyes, was that joke of a father and he had it coming. So you found yourself wrestling against a blooming protectiveness and favoritism towards the young man brought here last month.

What would have normally compelled you into action had therefore been silently swept under the rug. Or even worse, you secretly indulged in it. A patient showing signs of affection towards you would instantly be transferred to a different psychiatrist. Yet you couldn’t put away the letters written by this one. Erratic, crumpled notes of “I love you” written countless times, pencil dug so deep it tore into the sheet. Bizarre illustrations that looked almost threatening. His elaborate delusions before medication was introduced, where he’d detail in grand narratives how you were fated for each other and nothing would stop him from having you sooner or later. You do not know what forces possessed you into this addictive plunge, but you’ve come to enjoy his violent, frenzied confessions. So much, that during one of the unsupervised meetings you let yourself pushed into the sofa as his hands tugged at your body in rabid need. It was so out of character that you wondered if it truly happened, though the bite marks and scratches on your neck and chest proved otherwise.

“Are they going to send me to prison?” He changes the subject and stands up, walking towards your desk. “Most likely. What you have is the result of a traumatic event, not a lifelong condition. Sporadic episodes that can be kept under control with antipsychotics aren’t enough of a reason to keep you in the hospital.” You press your legs together nervously and glance at him. “Can’t you just say it’s no longer working?” He suggests, kneeling before you and placing a hand on your thigh. “You know I can’t lie on the report.” You really don’t like it when he manipulates you like this. “Ah, yes, because lying is worse than fucking your patient.” He scoffs, annoyed. “Don’t threaten me like that”, you say as you turn towards him, but you’re stopped by the rough grip of his hand over your cheeks. “I’m not threatening you, I’m threatening everyone else. Listen, (Y/N), I’m not fucking around. I don’t mind pretending to be crazy if I have to. Will the meds still be working if I steal a shaving razor and cut the nurse open?” You try to open your mouth, but his fingers are pressed into your skin, locking your jaw into place. “I’m not going to prison. I’m not. Then I’ll never see you again and that can’t happen. You know that.”

Eventually he releases his hold, allowing you to speak. "I understand. Then there's no choice but to arrange your escape." You sigh, defeated, and he raises his eyebrows. "Won't that get you in trouble?" You chuckle at his statement. "Either way I'll be in trouble. You said it yourself. Might as well quit before I have to stand in front of the ethics board and have my license revoked." You'd prefer to keep the last ounce of pride if possible.

He sits on the floor and you notice his trembling hands. "Nervous?" You ask. "No. Just really happy. I'm not a bad person and you were the only one here to see it. But God, (Y/N), I'd kill anyone if it was for your sake. I can't wait to hold you whenever I want." He gazes at you as a smile widens on his face.

[jubileemon]

Explaining Huskerdust slowburn

Huskerdust is one of the most popular ships within the Hazbin Hotel fandom, which started with their first interaction in the pilot.

From the outset, Angel Dust shows a clear attraction towards Husk, which is evident from his immediate flirtatious behavior upon Husk's arrival as the hotel's bartender. This attraction is not subtle as Angel Dust is overt in his advances, often pushing boundaries. On the other hand, Husk was initially dismissive and annoyed by Angel's flirtations, responding with expletives and a general attitude of disinterest. Yet, this sets the stage for a relationship that promises to evolve slowly over time.

Although they started off bad, with Husk often finding great irritation in Angel's continued advances, their relationship would begin to deepen as the series progresses.

In the beginning, Husk made it no secret that he was forced to stay at the hotel because of his ties to Alastor and would gladly get as far away as he could if able to. He's addicted to gambling, much the same way Angel is addicted to drugs and sex. He used to be an Overlord but gambled away his bound souls until he got desperate enough to sell his own soul to Alastor.

While his words were poorly timed, pushing Angel's buttons after he'd just suffered a night of abuse from Valentino in "Masquerade", it's hard to deny that Husk is right to be frustrated with Angel's sexual harassment. He's cuttingly accurate when he points out how Angel's lewd and carefree behavior is all a self-destructive act that he hides behind to avoid his problems, and that nobody in the Hotel is particularly impressed with or taken by the front he puts up.

In the episode "Masquerade", a pivotal moment occurs when Husk rescues Angel from a potentially dangerous situation at a club that shows a protective side under his gruff exterior. Afterwards, Husk continues to remind Angel that he can stop his act. However, Angel, shedding tears and expressing his sadness, lashes out at Husk as they argue, explaining he needs to be who he is in order to break himself, both to wash away his misery and escape Valentino.

Saddened by this, Husk helps Angel recognize the parallel misery, which led to them both admitting their regrets and Husk revealing his past as an Overlord to Angel.

Husk getting through to Angel Dust in the manner he does makes a considerable amount of sense when it's taken into account that the first step to overcoming drug addiction is usually getting the addict to acknowledge they even have a problem. Angel hasn't been able to get better despite having some genuine interest because he's been utterly refusing to admit he has a problem to fix, the moment he does his mood drastically improves as does his motivation.

The song 'Loser, Baby' became an uplifting melody for Husk and Angel Dust's relationship. It encapsulates the message that while they may see themselves as losers, they aren't alone in their struggles.

The whole song is just "Stop thinking you're special". Some people may see that as a bad message (at first) considering what Angel goes through, but like him, staying in that mindset of "No one knows what I'm going through, no one else knows what it's like to be me, etc." would not be good for him at all as it would create a barrier of isolation. To be clear, the point is that Husk calls Angel a loser because people, especially very hurt people, need to break their cycle of self-loathing somehow. And sometimes, sometimes, people need to hear that they are, in fact, a loser. But that's okay because a lot of other people are too. This is even reflected in the song, with Angel initially assuming Husk is mocking him, but eventually picking up what he's actually saying. The message isn't "You're not special lmao," it's actually "You're not alone in this, and embracing that is a big step in getting out of it."

A small detail many fans have noticed is that whilst Valentino is very forceful with Angel Dust both emotionally and physically, during the song “Loser, Baby,” Husk is never seen grabbing Angel Dust at all during the song, only ever offering his hand out for him to accept. It's apparent that Husk is expressing more interest in Angel Dust, after seeing that he isn't as shallow as he comes off to be. Since then, Angel and Husk have formed a special bond through being vulnerable and honest with each other. But this scene also shows Husk's concern for Angel's well-being, especially when it comes to drugs and a potential relapse.

In the episode "Welcome to Heaven", Cherri invites Angel and Husk along with Niffty and Sir Pentious to a bar. During this scene, Cherri tries to motivate Angel to take drugs as a way to relieve stress. Husk reminded Angel it would destroy his progress. Husk then admits that Angel succumbing to drugs would really disappoint him. Angel declines the offer, making Husk smile, but later starts heavily drinking, something Husk disapproves of.

This concern is reciprocated when Angel Dust takes care of a drunk Niffty, suggesting a shift from his earlier, more self-centered behavior. The confrontation with Valentino, where Husk is ready to defend Angel Dust, further cements their bond.

Angel was very attracted to Husk and didn't hide it, with his constant boundary pushing flirtation. After being called out for this behavior, Angel not only begins a genuine bond with the cat demon but also stops the annoying, aggressive flirtation.

As they were preparing to fight the exorcists, Husk unconsciously makes a sex comment saying that "Angels won't stop coming", and Angel laughs at this remark. Husk realizes the double meaning of it, and laughs admitting his mistake.

During the bar scene in "The Show Must Go On" an instrumental of "Loser, Baby" plays in the background during Angel and Husks' conversation, which further underscores the hidden depths of their bond. Angel takes Charlie's words to heart about living however you want that night since it may be your last. How does he choose to do it? By simply having a drink with Husk and Cherri Bomb. Husk even notes that he's changed quite a lot since he came to the hotel.

Also, the way he looks at Husk and the little piano reprise of "Loser, Baby" playing in the background. Angel's feelings for him may run deeper than they seem... 😍

[chiquite]

Regressor Alastor with Caregiver Rosie Headcanons! ❤️🖤

I love these two sm their friendship is everything.

• Alastor 100% doesn't know anything about age/pet regression, nor does he realize he sometimes is little himself (he mostly refers to being regressed as his "episodes")

• He's mostly a pet (deer) regressor, but he does age regress from time to time.

• His regression is involuntary and happens when he's too stressed and near someone who he truly trusts, when he's little he's around 10yo.

• Rosie, however, does know what regression is and immediately recognized what was happening the first time Alastor was little around her.

• How he acts while little depends on whether he's pet or age regressing.

• When he's a little deer, he gets very clingy and stays very close to Rosie, never getting too far from her.

• He likes tackling Rosie in hugs and headbutting her arm and back lightly, that's just how he says "I love you" <3

• He losses his speech entirely, only communicating with squeaks, hums and whines.

• Rosie has no problem guessing what he wants, it's not that difficult when you are as close to him as she is.

• "Oh honey, you're munching on my sleeve, do you want a little snack?", "Don't give me that look darling, I know you're feeling sleepy!", "You're ears are pointing down sweetness, let's take you to a more quiet place, shall we?".

• When he's a little boy, however, he's Rosie's little helper.

• He still follows her everywhere but now he's always looking for ways to be involved in what she's doing.

• "Rosie! Papers!" "That's right sweet boy, we're filling these papers!"

• He needs attention and praise at all times, so Rosie always makes sure to give him small tasks to keep him occupied and make him feel important.

• "Good job bringing the sugar, darling! thanks to you we'll have a nice cup of tea now."

• He's very protective of Rosie, and also very wary of strange men (they remind him of his father, who left him and his mom), so you'll find him hugging Rosie while staring daggers at them, sometimes even growling.

• Rosie is the best at de-escalating situations and making sure Alastor doesn't harm himself or others.

• "I know you're mad honey but let's take some deep breaths okay? I'll pet behind your ears", "Someone's a little fuzzy, how about we go down for a nap huh? I'm sure that'll make you feel better"

• Rosie would love to explain what age regression is to Alastor, she really would but the guy is embarrassed enough about his "episodes" as it is! She knows that with his stubbornness if he knew he was a little he would do all in his power to repress that side of him even if it helps him and Rosie does not want that to happen.

• So for now, every time she senses he's stressed or in a bad mood she subtly and gently tries to make him regress, it works 8 out of 10 times and (although he won't admit it) it makes him feel more relaxed and focused afterwards so it works for them.

[harrowharkwife]

the way that it's hen standing beside eddie in this moment of clear physical pain and pure, unbridled anguish and terror.

hen, who watched karen flatline a handful of episodes ago. who desperately worked to save her life in the back of that ambulance. hen, who thought she lost her wife, the love of her life, the mother of her child-

(only to end the episode with the wilson family at home together, safe and sound, hen fussing over her wife and getting her all set up on the couch to recover.)

hen, whose wife and child were simultaneously endangered in the lab explosion. hen, who was unable to rescue them herself, even though every instinct was screaming at her to run headfirst into the burning building.

(she may not have been injured the way eddie is here, but she was benched by bobby and barred from the scene on account of no longer being a paramedic.)

hen, who spent an entire episode subconsciously reflecting on her and karen's journey so far, everything they've been through together, how they built their family, and how they found their way.

(an episode written by nicole barazza keim, mind you, who happens to be- oh, yknow. one half of the writer duo behind pay it forward. no big deal. nothing to see here, keep it moving!)

so, like. of course it had to be hen, in this moment, who's here for eddie, because-

hen was the only witness to his widow's grief for buck.

christopher's back was turned, and eddie hurriedly wiped away his tears before chris could see.

but hen? she saw all of it. and we still haven't circled back to that fact.

in an episode called pay it forward, i'm starting to think this may be hen's chance to pass on the lesson that she and karen learned in tomorrow (courtesy of chimney). how did that go again, exactly?

oh, right:

chimney: hen is not actually dead, but-but she had a pretty bad near-miss accident last night.

karen: what the hell, howie? you can't just say stuff like that.

chim: i know. i just, i... we had a really tough call. and it was rough and there was a minute when i thought hen was dead, and it scared the crap out of me.

karen: and you decided to pay that experience forward?

chimney: yes. look... look, i know you two broke up. and i just thought you needed to know what it would feel like if you woke up tomorrow and you found out hen wasn't in this world anymore.

...

karen: because i thought you were dead. when howie called, there was a moment when i thought you died in that accident. when i felt like i'd lost you forever. and it scared me. to think of you being gone. never having a chance to fix things or try again.

hen: karen, it's too late.

karen: it's not. as long as we are both here on this earth... as long as we have tomorrow, it's not too late.

[gffa]

If you want a Star Wars discussion, do you have thoughts on Anakin changing Ahsoka's lightsaber colors in TCW s7 and what we were intended to understand from that? Because it seems like such a violation, but that's clearly not the intended message behind that scene and it seems so weird to change the color for a few episodes only for her to throw them away anyway and get new ones the next time we see her.

I actually do have thoughts about this! And I think we actually are meant to find it a little "ehhhhh" because Filoni says that was the intention: "Him tinkering with her lightsabers while she is gone shows that he was always thinking of her. And the lightsabers are then a representation of her in the story, and his thoughtfulness regarding her.  His changing the color can also be seen as him exerting control, or being too protective, which is very Anakin.  He means well, but often takes things too far when trying to express how he feels.  Changing the sabers, modifying them, improving them shows his care, but also his ego--something that Ahsoka is familiar with. So the simple adjustment of the lightsaber color serves as many aspects of the relationship between the two characters.” And this is an instance where I actually really agree with Felony, I think it's both things at once, that it's both a sweet gesture and Anakin's desire to control her, to forcibly hold her close to him, because that's what Anakin desperately wants of his loved ones, that's his whole big issue in the Star Wars story, that he can't let go of anyone or anything, not when it really comes down to it. That's why, as Lucas says over and over, he becomes Darth Vader, because he can't let go of people, even when it's time. Changing her lightsabers to match his color, it's a way for him to express how much he still cares about her, how much he's thought about her, how much he wants to do for her, it's a way of expressing a connection between them, because a lightsaber is so central to their lives, it's the housing for their kyber crystal, their semi-sentient rock that bonds with their soul. This is Anakin's way of expressing that she matters to his very soul. But it's also Anakin thinking he can just go in and change that connection someone else has in their soul, he can just change something that was a defining part of her--kyber crystals matter to a Jedi, they're each unique, that's the crystal they faced a trial to get, one that was about their own heart and their own issues they needed to overcome. It's Anakin trying so desperately to hold onto her, his ego thinking that his way is the best way and that he can't let others exist as they are when they're distant from him, that leads him to change something that's not his business to change. It's a sweet gesture. It's a warning sign. It's something in between. It's a representation of the complicated relationship that has both good and bad in it. That's why I'm okay with them retconning it, because it's such a good metaphor for both the joy and the hurt in Anakin and Ahsoka's dynamic.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The unexpected rise of cooking crush & seme bjs

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Jan 2024 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 9 of 12 - I love this show so damn much. This may be my KinnPorsche. It’s just so endlessly entertaining in a perfectly unhinged way. I love that they looped Tharn’s dad back into the murder investigations.

You know kinksters have invented necklaces that can’t come off… right? Just saying.

Meanwhile, would it still be BL if our seme didn’t wake up from drowning and instantly go chase snake?

No. No it would not. 

Remember the one hard and fast rule of BL? When a seme gives a BJ it’s penance. Phaya is apologizing to Tharn for leaving him behind.

Heh. Hard and fast. I kill me. 

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 10 of 14 - How is this absurd creature managing to rise in the ranks? Pavel turned in some stellar grief and ALANJEFF have my whole heart. I make Ikea puns in the... Trash watch happening here.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 7 of 12 - The make-out montage was absolutely charming and very much American rom com style - interesting (and rare) to see in a BL (not to mention from OffGun. How far we have come since Puppy Honey?)

Meanwhile, another wonderful grandma in a BL!

Next week we do an actual harken back to Puppy Honey, so obviously I’m now enjoying this whole show way more than before. I think it helped that I watched it earlier in the week, when it wasn’t competing with any other BLs. 

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - Not gonna lie, I knew from you all that this was gonna be a rough ep. But I very clearly remember the penultimate Bad Buddy ep so I now have slightly more trust than others in GMMTV on this matter. 

That said, this was a crap episode.

You can’t set Mork’s truth and character motivation reveal up like that and then have his lover choose to dismiss him in a way that diminishes not just both character's growth AND all of Mork's actions towards Day, but also our faith in every other character. It was a shitty narrative thing to do to us, and it was a shitty thing to do to Mork. And that doesn’t even take into account the forgiveness allotted by the story to Day’s unrepentant excuse for a mother.  The doom should have been handled differently. The mom shoudl have leaned in even more evil and actively lied to split them apart.

I don't know if they can redeem this misstep in the final episode. But I'm interested to see them try. That said, this plot seem to be true to the book. 

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - A major trigger has landed. But also it’s clear who’s fault that incident was... and it’s not Him’s. So Blue's so-called-friend really is unhinged. This episode was a little bit more engaging than last week, but it’s only because stuff actually happened. I’m still not sure I enjoyed it. 

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 12fin - Despite the fact that I’ve been annoyed by the show the last couple of episodes, I’m still sad for it to end. It was a good reveal and First had the right response. Also a very sports way to end it. Sprite is a v clingy bf. 

In brief?

A messy very Thai pulp sports romance that actually managed to involve sports in an identical twins trading-places plot. Basically Not Me meets HIStory 2 Crossing the Line (although vastly inferior to either) with an endearing main character and a good lead pair (poor things), both soapy and earnest without too much camp. It tried so hard but the plot, side couples, and extraneous characters let us down. Passable if not great. 7/10 

Time the series (Thai Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - Eh. Whatever. 

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 22 of 24 - skipped this installment

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - Funny how quickly he retracted that confession and everyone called him out for doing it too soon (including me from a narrative beats perspective). It was a cute screw up - I see what your meta-arse is doing there, Japan. Also our Tokyo-boy’s serious reserved earnestness is extra adorable in the surrounded by Osaka enthusiasm context. His accidental flirting is that much more heart wrenching for our poor baby seme.  And they ended this ep with honorific negotiations!! Be still my heart. I’m really adoring this show.

Your hyung romance super fan is back in the game! 

Meanwhile the Osaka accent is beyond adorable. 

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 6 of 8 - Japan what are you doing? I do love the not-sorta-ex from the past. 

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 10fin - I loved all the young people in the hawker center supporting the campaign against the terrible mother. They make a good domestically sappy couple. But that is Taiwan's specialty.

In brief?

A sweet if aimless story about a writer and a chef finding love via noodles, fake dating, and family challenges. If it had a tighter script and a shorter run, more like a KBL this might’ve been quite special. But it didn’t and it lost me too many times. 6/10

I don’t like to be disappointed by Taiwan. 

It's done: I Need to Catch up

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam so I assume it's on YouTube. I never even noticed. Anyone?

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - Is TRUST Entertainment bringing us the first ever Burmeses BL? I don't know if it's really the first, but @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch through.

It's Airing But...

[INTERNATIONAL] Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like. Read all about it here.

Beside You (Thai YouTube) - a 3 sp short that's supposed to have started but I can't find it.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Ends next week. Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?

In Case You Missed it

All my year-end round ups:

TOP 10 BL Trends of 2023

Top 10 BL Secondary Pairs of 2023

2023 BLs Best Trope Execution Awards! TOP 10

All the BLs Announced for 2023 that didn't happen

BL 2023's Best:

Back Hugs Thailand & Elsewhere

Cute Bits of Domesticity

Boys Feeding Boys

BOOP!

Best Cuddles

Heads in Laps

Touching Head Touches

Thailand Put His Head on Your Shoulder

Put Your Head on My Shoulder (not Thailand)

BEST KISSES (not Thailand)

BEST KISSES FROM THAILAND

Next Week Looks Like This

1/23 Happy Ending is a new high school set Strongberry 20 min short staring the actor who played Milk on Choco Milk Shake, so... YES PLEASE. I'm not sure where it will air but we all have our fingers crossed for Gaga or YT. Or both.

1/24 Love For Love's Sake (Korea Gaga & iQIYI)- based on the Manhwa ‘Love Supremacy Zone’ by Hwacha. A young man is dropped into a game based off a novel he loves. His mission is to make another player, YeoWoon happy. But then the game starts unfolding completely different from the novel.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Viva la BL grandma superiority! (Cooking Crush)

Cooking Crush casually givign us some lovely lesbians (as indeed did The Sign). GL makes for a lovely acessory BL, carry on.

Now GMMTV, give us the REVERSE.

I love this dork SO MUCH. (Pit Babe)

I love that Cherry Magic is doing this scene over. One of my favs from the original.

Yai is BEST BOY. MVP and most likely the winner for 2024's Namgoong award.

(Last week)

[nicoline1998enilocin]

The moment it became unbearable

PAIRING | Fiancé!Bucky Barnes x Fiancée!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 1.4K

SUMMARY | Your anxiety has been getting worse the last few weeks and you've reached your breaking point. When your emotions are at the point you're having a panic attack, Bucky is called away from his mission to help you get through this, just like he'd done so many times before.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Lots of angst, reader is going through a pretty severe episode of anxiety, mentions of blood/bloody knuckles, mentions of a panic attack, Bucky being the best fiancé ever, and lots of cuddles and fluff in the end.

A/N | This is a very self indulging fic because my anxiety is getting pretty severe, so I just need to write my problems away. I understand it completely if this fic is not for you and you choose not to read this, there is plenty of other work that might be more suited to what you're looking for! 💜

A/N 2.0 | I want to thank @suzipanini for giving me the idea to write this fic, and for always listening to my complaining whenever I need to do so. You're an absolute angel sent from heaven and I love you! 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

You had been feeling like something was wrong for a while, but you just couldn't quite place your finger on the problem. Some days you started to eat a whole lot more, overstuffing yourself even, other days you barely ate anything and were content with a few small snacks. Some days you're the light of everyone's life, other days your mood has turned so sour everyone stays as far away from you as possible. And to make everything even worse, Bucky is on a long undercover mission which means he can barely talk to you if he can at all.

Your physical appearance is also starting to get worrisome, your nails have been bitten to the point that they're bleeding yet you continue to bite them, and there's nothing left of the beautiful manicure you had done not even a week ago. Your anxiety is eating away at you from the inside out, and now you're starting to return the favor to your body by starting your bad nailbiting habit again. All the while all you can think about is how bad your anxiety is getting, and the one person you want to tell more than anyone is not here. And he's not going to be here for another few weeks if not months.

The feeling of impending doom is creeping up more and more, and you're trying to get some of it out of your system by going to the gym, and that seems to work. However, it seems to work a little too well because you're starting to overdo it, your knuckles are completely raw and bloody from how much you've been hitting the punching bags lately. Anything to keep the voice inside your head from telling you everything is going to be doomed. That you're doomed. And it works for quite a while until Steve starts to notice something is wrong.

You were bandaging your knuckles in the locker room attached to the gym in the Compound when Steve happened to walk in. He was getting ready for his workout when he heard you hiss at the feeling of the bandages getting taken off your wounds, and he immediately walked over to see what was going on. ''Y/N?'' he said but you didn't hear him. You were so much in your head you didn't hear anything, you didn't see anything other than your hands and the blood on them, you didn't notice anything other than the constant voice in your head telling you will never be good enough.

It wasn't until Steve walked around you that you even noticed he was there, and you got so scared you accidentally jumped and fell backward off the bench you were sitting on. ''Fuck!'' you yelled as your head hit the floor behind you as you fell with a loud thud. ''I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to startle you like that!'' Steve quickly apologizes but all you can think about is getting away. Away from Steve, away from where you fell, away from the Compound even. Away to the one person who could pull you out of this spiral. But he is still away on the undercover mission, and won't be back for weeks, if not months.

''P-please, leave me alone,'' you say as you start crying softly. You don't mean for Steve to leave you alone, no. You want the voices inside your head to leave you alone, for the anxiety to leave you be and let you live your life. ''No, no, no, leave me alone! Please, leave me alone!'' you say, covering your ears as you're spiraling into a panic attack. ''Y/N, please listen to me,'' Steve says but you shake your head because you can't do this anymore. ''No, GO AWAY!" you yell at him, but he doesn't. Instead, he softly picks you up despite you trashing in his hold to let you go.

''Let me go! Put me down and let me go! They need to stop! Please tell them to stop!'' you say as your panic is completely taking over and you don't know what's real and what's not. The voices in your head are winning, and you realize you're fighting a losing battle. What you didn't realize, however, is that Steve has called Bucky back from his mission already, and he will arrive soon. After explaining what's going on Bucky gave instructions to Steve about how to handle your episode, which he is doing. And the person you need most is coming home to you. Not in a few weeks or even months, but he will be home in less than an hour.

When you and Steve arrive at your bedroom, he puts you down on the bed where he just holds you in his arms, soothing you by rubbing your back and whispering sweet things to you, despite you not hearing him. It may not be Bucky who is soothing you right now, but he is also doing a damn good job of soothing you. Your crying and panic haven't stopped, but suddenly you feel a shift again, and you feel a different pair of strong arms holding you as you're sitting down on the bed again. These arms are so different in fact, they don't even feel the same compared to each other. Bucky's home. You're back with the person you need more than anything.

For the first time in what feels like forever you dare to open your eyes, and you're looking into the eyes you've been so desperately longing for all this time. The eyes that seem to calm your mind down without saying a single word. ''Hi pretty girl,'' he says, but you don't hear him yet. All you can hear is the anxiety in your head telling you how he's just doing this out of pity, but you know deep inside he isn't. You knew he loves you, and he does this to make you feel better. He places a soft kiss on your forehead, followed by a kiss on each of your cheeks.

It calms you down, and you finally take your hands away from your ears, wanting to hear his voice. ''Y-you're home…'' you croak out, your voice barely there to say it, but he hears it. ''I am, doll. And I'm sorry you had to go through this without me by your side,'' he says and he lifts one of his hands to cup your cheek, rubbing his thumb softly over it and you're calming down enough for the voices to disappear. ''I love you, so much. And I can't tell you how much I can't wait to marry you,'' he says, which earns him a small smile. The smile he loves so much.

''Love you too,'' you whisper and you lean forward for a kiss. It's soft, slow, and gentle, everything and more you need out of it right now. It isn't rushed, it isn't heated, it's perfection. Bucky is by your side again, and the world seems to be just a little brighter. ''Shall we go take a shower together? Or did you maybe want to take a bath?'' he asks, even though he already knows the answer. He likes giving you a choice, and between these two you will always choose a bath. ''Bath,'' you say and he nods. He gets off the bed with you in his arms and runs the bath while you're sitting on the counter.

''Alright, let's get you out of these clothes and bandages,'' he says and suddenly your cheeks get heated at the thought that Bucky will now know what you've done to yourself when he was gone. He slips you out of your clothes and out of his tactical gear before pulling the bandages off of your hands, and revealing the damage there. He doesn't say anything, instead just placing soft kisses on the affected areas to notify you it's okay. You're going to be okay. The two of you get into the bath together and you're sitting with his chest against your back, his arms wrapped around you and your head resting on his shoulder.

The voices have completely disappeared, and you're feeling like your old self again. All you needed was Bucky, and now that he's back you're okay again. ''I can't wait to marry you either,'' you suddenly say, thinking back to what he said not too long ago. ''You'll be the best husband I could ever wish for,'' you tell him and he lets out a soft laugh. ''And you'll be the best wife I could ever wish for,'' he says as he captures your lips in another kiss. ''I love you, doll. More than I've ever loved anyone,'' he says and with that, you sink back against his chest, your head resting on his shoulder and his cheek resting against your hair. Finally, you're complete again.

[bunnakit]

my stand in episode 1 thoughts, feelings, etc.

OHOHOOO FINALLY. FINALLY I FEEL INSANE ABOUT A SHOW AGAIN. poom phuripan my absolute beloved, i've missed you so fucking much.

the show really eases you into everything and so far i don't mind the back and forth, i think it's interesting to see the direct consequences and THEN the story of how we got here. i don't know if my opinion on that will change later but for right now it's really pleasing me. i also really like this gradual introduction we're getting into everything and the sort of thriller/mystery vibe to it all. it's giving me some very loose/vague manner of death vibes.

i immediately don't like the vibes of tong or wut but i'm reserving any real accusations until later, but i'm def side eyeing them. i've got my eye on you two.

it really took my brain some getting used to to understanding the joe we're seeing is joe's consciousness and everyone else is seeing the joe that was shown in his reflection in the hospital (i've never seen vice versa or many other shows that do this, forgive me) but once i wrapped my head around it i actually quite like it. mostly bc it means i still get to see a lot of poom.

anyway - thus far this has one of my favorite romance tropes; guy who is used to being treated badly/ignored and man who has too much love to give (to someone who may or may not deserve it, judgement withstanding on that rn.) joe is just such a heart eyed fool and i'm so glad to see poom in another role of lovesick, unfairly attractive, dork. it's a role he plays so well and he immediately endears you to joe so fucking much.

throughout most of the episode i was like ooh this is a bummer but the angst isn't too bad. and then. AND THEN.

ming coming over to joe's house and making a move on him, again, from the perspective of behind joe - where he looks so much like tong. the lamenting about him being a virgin and joe offering himself up to him. and then ming turning him back around to face the mirror. this way he looks so much like tong, he can pretend it's tong, and yet at the same time joe's face is right there, reflected back in the mirror, inescapable. i'm fucking eating this up, finally some good fucking food.

idk i'm probably not touching on everything i want to, it's been a long ass time since i've done one of these, but this is just what immediately comes to mind. now time to go make a gifset lmao.

(if you give me novel spoilers i WILL hunt you for sport)

[babacontainsmultitudes]

I'm not the first person to bring this up but, I do feel that the general response to the gun range scene has mostly failed to acknowledge the context that would call for such extreme levels of self-defense training in the first place. We know from episode 23 that even just a few years after the release of the doodler (when Lark and Sparrow themselves are still just teens) things are already pretty bad (to the extent that in Lark's case the stress of it all has already begun to take a physical toll on him- don't forget that he and Sparrow too were once kids who had the world placed on their shoulders), and one need only look at how quickly the situation with the mayor has degraded to imagine how bad things would have gotten by the time Hero was 12. Training your six-year-old to use a gun in a normal or at least mostly normal world? Batshit crazy. Training your six-year-old to use a gun in a world overrun by an eldritch horror where danger, death, and the possibility of corruption from said eldritch horror are around every corner? Still intense but, much easier to understand the reasoning behind.

oh oops it's a long post woops woops woops

In Sparrow's case in particular, we know that he behaves quite differently under alternative circumstances, and that Normal (Hero too for that matter) lives a pretty different life in a post code purple world:

Not that it hasn't been Sparrow's intent and priority to mitigate the extent to which Normal was caught up in everything from the get-go, as evidenced by his namesake. Recall what he had to say on the matter:

In some ways this extreme self-defense training is a "two sides of the same coin" sort of deal vis-a-vis Grant's extreme isolation of Lincoln for his protection, a major difference being that Lincoln still deals with this in a post code purple world (to the extent that he literally had to pretend to starve himself to get his dad to let him go to public school), whereas Normal and Hero get the chance to live mostly normal lives and do as they please (the disapproving words of a drunken and partially-doodlerized Sparrow aside), now removed from the immediate threat of the doodler.

Hero's case is, at least from what we currently know about the prophecy, more complicated than Norm's. It is easy to reprimand Lark and Sparrow as being the worst parents (and/or uncles) whilst forgetting that their circumstances are fundamentally different from the other kiddads. The first half of this lying in their shared responsibility (and guilt) in releasing the doodler. Grant and Nicky can retreat to their respective homes on the basis that this is the best they can do, resolving to put their energy into protecting their closest ones first and foremost. At the end of the day, they aren't really any more responsible for dealing with the doodler than any other bystander. The same cannot be said of Lark and Sparrow, who can't exactly look away from the fact that they were the ones who brought the doodler into the world. At least from their perspectives- of course Lark (and Sparrow by extension) in reality was a child that was manipulated into doing what he did, which as some people have pointed out is not dissimilar to what happened to Normal at the end of this episode (and if Sparrow felt the need to rid Normal of his memories of this event in particular, perhaps it was to spare his child from feeling guilty about it for the rest of his life).

The second half of what differentiates them is, of course, the prophecy (right- now we can actually get to Hero lol). We must remember that, as far as the twins knew, the only way to actually "defeat" the doodler permanently was through the chosen one, i.e. Hero (probably- after last episode I'm starting to think that Norm may be more directly involved in the prophecy than previously thought, but that's a tangent). "Continue to let the being you released into the world kill and torture millions (very likely billions) of people, which could wind up including both of your children, or put your ill-fated child through very intense and ultimately traumatizing training to put an end to it, potentially losing her in the process", is essentially the choice the twins were given. Hero isn't made to kill a deer with her bare hands for the hell of it, she goes through what she does because Lark (who likely did not see the same thing that Normal did on the throne- or at the very least interpreted things very differently) and Sparrow had no reason to believe that there was any other possibility. This certainly does not negate or undermine the extent to which Hero was deeply traumatized by it all, but it's not exactly a detail that you can choose to ignore when discussing the ethics of Lark and Sparrow's decision-making.

And yet, despite it all, Sparrow and Lark do ultimately chose saving their children over saving the world. Not before significant damage has already been done (to Hero that is), but they do decide to go through with the one plan that allows both of their children to (hopefully) live a doodler-free life: code purple. Code purple, which ultimately reduces to a trolley problem with a presumably near-equal number of people on both tracks, with the important difference of sparing their own children in one case, and likely not the other. And if we want to talk about Henry's ethical stance in the matter and how it compares to the twins, we need to consider what it says about him if he was *not* in favor of code purple, with all of this in mind. Not to come to any hasty conclusions about Henry either- I think there remains too many unknowns on that front to assume much and... Ultimately it's a complicated matter! But that's kind of my point.

Even post code purple, Lark and Sparrow (and the rest of the kiddads) try to pursue that which they believe (or at least hope) will both put an end to the doodler without involving their children and without the enactment of the prophecy. Is blowing up an entire world with the sun to save all the others a plan I'm gonna sit here and defend? I don't think so lol, but you can't exactly look at it and pretend that Lark and Sparrow don't care about protecting their fucking kids.

My point isn't that Lark and Sparrow haven't made a lot of mistakes and questionable decisions, my point is that their circumstances are so much less black and white than the majority of the takes I see on them make them out to be, and a lot of the conclusions I see people jump to when it comes to the twins' feelings and intentions strike me as... Pretty odd? Tangentially-related: if you don't think Sparrow is someone who is affectionate with and deeply loves his kids despite his flaws, I don't really think we're listening to the same podcast. But even in Lark's case, yes he's more subtle about it and yes, Lark can be quick to anger (not that I personally read him yelling in the last episode as anger so much as panic but all the same), but affection can be sewing bulletproof material into your nephew's mascot costume, or secretly taking him out for pizza, or pretending to be his dad so that you can tell him you're proud of him, or putting your gun down when he asks you to. The twins are anything but perfect but, fuck if they aren't trying (and changing, and improving). And yes, they deserve some damn nuance.

Also, okay, I couldn't really find a neat way to bring this up in the above but, speaking of no-nuance and bad faith takes, can we talk about the locks? Or lack thereof, rather. "How could they be so stupid as to leave the door unlocked?" you're right, that does seem odd, and Anthony made a point to explain that every other door was very thoroughly locked, and Normal seemed to have practically been moved into opening the door against his own will so... Hear me out, maybe, just maybe, the door usually *is* locked??? And something fishy or unusual is afoot? I also wouldn't take their immediate, knee-jerk reactions to a dangerous flesh monster being released to come to any conclusions on whether or not Lark and Sparrow "blame" six-year-old Normal for it. In Sparrow's case, I struggle to even imagine it. In Lark's case, though I wouldn't put him above getting angry over it, my doubts on his deeper feelings are still high. Conversely, if he actually did place some of the blame on Normal, at the very least there is an interesting discussion to be had on how this relates to Lark's own guilt over what Willy manipulated him into doing, and subsequently being denied the catharsis of punishment. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Like I said, a lot of important things are yet unknown.

*breathes* okay end of overdue ramble [insert proper conclusion paragraph here lol], thank you.

[cloudmancy]

I have no desire to get you in trouble but I would be curious to hear your thoughts on the new episode and the preview because I also have.. thoughts and I'm interested in what other people clocked as not great or kinda.. idk. other people's concerns, because I have had a lot of them and I never see people really talk about those things

they're doing a new format this season where they film a bunch of rp episodes in a row then take a break when there's a battle so the crew can get the battleset ready, so I understand the dissonance. but the tone of this episode from the tone of last episode was SO jarring. I was ready to chew drywall at the end of episode 17 but we head into the episode 18 fight and at the end all I can say is... damn! that sure is a battle that happened. the entire fight felt really low-stakes even though objectively a few of the bad kids were in mortal danger, but the mood at the table was so relaxed and chill and there was almost no roleplay at all... which drove me so crazy

>no rp except for fun silly party stuff (no callbacks to the adaine elven oracle in a storm thing? after all the fun setup last time??)

>fought 8 different antagonists and none of them said a word

>nobody questioned why or what oisin's grandma or all those dragon were doing there they just started taking them out one by one like raid battles in world of warcraft

>cassandra/nightmare king showed up only to not make any impact or get a single word in

>dos2 lady vengeance fight did the floating boat/ballistas/dragon fight better SMH

and then after all of that we're headed straight into ANOTHER battle episode judging by the preview... and it's against the rat grinders and porter/jace! let me out I want PLOT & DIALOGUE fhjy cannot end like this (5 hours straight of battle where they just kill everyone that moves). there's 2 eps left so I really hope they do the last ep as a 4 hour long roleplay only epilogue episode because as we've all seen ending campaigns on a battle leads to frankly really rushed character and world decisions. it's ultra disappointing too because I loved this entire season so much so far. the setup and buildup and plot points and mystery of fhjy is the best they've ever done it in dimension 20 period

ep 18 fhjy battle was a letdown to me... not giving the party an rp episode after 3 hours of loredump + going straight into a final battle without being able to interact with the world after gaining info is bad. they should've had a chance to process everything they learned about house sunstone, porter's plan, the rat grinders being used as ascension fodder, whatever the whole deal behind ambrosia and lucy frostkettle and why they needed a helios cleric in buddy IN ROLEPLAY. I don't want all this stuff explained to me after the battle by brennan or in some throwaway lines in the adventuring party - I want the bad kids to talk to people! I want them to investigate! I want fig to pull some BS with porter knowing the full extent of all his plans. it really sucks for us as an audience too to be hit with all this lore and get approximately 0 time for it to sink into the implications of how the worldbuilding was shaped by it or realizations of "ohhh that's why that happened at the beginning of the season" before we go straight into killing everyone.

with the way this is going I don't have any confidence they're gonna be able to actually empathize at all with the rat grinders too before they start lopping heads off because in battle episodes everyone kind of just. becomes numbers and an objective to take out except for pet favourite npcs of the cast. and they've mostly been interacting with the rat grinders as nuisances all season 😭 I'm PRAYING to be proven wrong and the last 2 episodes of this are fantastic but it's not looking good folks

[esamastation]

Part fifty-eight of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: forty-seven forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty-five, fifty-fix, fifty-seven

-

The first day with Tseng as his babysitter begins easily enough. They have breakfast, they have tea, Tseng has impeccable manners, and even compliments the tea… There's no weird comments, no pointed looks, and when Sephiroth gets ready to train, Tseng says nothing, just follows him outside to watch.

And then he watches. He watches Sephiroth very closely. He watches every movement like he's looking for flaws. Sephiroth feels like he's being graded, like this is a test and every move he makes is being scored on a damn point scale!

Who could concentrate on cultivation like this?!

"Do you have to?" Sephiroth asks irritably.

"I am not doing anything," Tseng says mildly as if he's not just standing there, staring.

Giving him an unimpressed look, Sephiroth rests one hand on his hip. "Reno and Rude managed to observe without being in my face about it - can't you do the same?"

"If the result is the same, why does it matter which way I go about my observation?" Tseng asks. "I will still be observing, and you will still be aware of it."

"Yeah, but I wouldn't have to see your face doing it," Sephiroth says, annoyed. 

"Inability to handle public pressure seems an odd quality for someone so… famous."

The guy is actually trying to piss him off. Sephiroth realises this with a mixture of incredulity and awe. Tseng is actually trying to make him, Sephiroth, the Big Bad with one psychotic episode already behind him, lose his temper. Does the guy have no survival instincts, or is this some kind of test?

Probably a test. The Turks are far too practical for it to be the other thing. And that makes it a little less annoying and far more worrisome.

"What do you want, Tseng?" Sephiroth asks slowly. "Do you want me to lose control?"

Tseng blinks at him, his face like a fine-featured mask. "Are you going to?"

Annoying. "Keep this up and I might."

"Very well," Tseng says and fucking settles down to wait.

Sephiroth suppresses the urge to tap his foot at the man and instead takes a step back mentally. It's another manipulation tactic, and it's not even subtle. Tseng is doing some corporate middle manager psychology bullshit, establishing authority through perceived roles in the corporate ladder.

I'm the observer and the judge. You are on trial. Now perform for me.

Ugh, it gives him the worst kind of flashbacks for Shen Yuan's family life. Did not miss that part of it one bit! But now that he knows what's up…

Sephiroth smiles at Tseng - who of course doesn't so much as blink in return, but Sephiroth can sense how he goes on guard.

You want to play office politics, sir? You picked the wrong Peak Lord.

"Very well," Sephiroth says pleasantly. "Then you can help me with this."

That makes Tseng actually react. "I'm sorry?"

"Your job here isn't just to observe me, is it? It's also to get me back to my duties promptly, right?" Sephiroth says and smiles a little wider. "That will occur much faster with your help."

Tseng hesitates, clearly sensing the trap.

"Unless you want my report to eventually include a section explaining how I could've, surely, returned to work faster, if only I had the cooperation of my coworker."

Tseng's eyes are narrow. "We are not coworkers."

"We work for the same company, don't we? In different branches, perhaps, but still within the same corporate structure - within the same department, even. Ultimately, aren't our goals within Shinra the same?" Sephiroth purrs, putting all his smug villainy into it. "Surely we should be working together."

Now, Tseng could still decline. If this was your usual corporate politics, maybe he would've. But there's not much Tseng can actually gain in the attempt of putting Sephiroth down, seeing as they really are in very different fields within the company. So there's a different motive for his posturing. Question is, when given different avenues to pursue, which will tilt the scales? The original goal, whatever it was, or a new opportunity and all its potential gains?

What's the worth of an indebted Sephiroth to Tseng?

"Very well," Tseng finally says and steps forward, adjusting his gloves as he does. He's suspicious, more so than before, but there's a crack, an opening, in his hard outer shell. "What can I do for you?"

Sephiroth smiles a little wider. Seems like what his Da-ge used to say is true after all. Ultimately, all successful company men are opportunists. 

"Tell me, Tseng - do you use Materia?" Sephiroth asks.

"... I do, yes," Tseng says slowly. "Though I wouldn't call myself an expert, especially in the face of a SOLDIER."

Well, isn't that a surprise. Humility. "Do you have any you particularly favour?" Sephiroth asks interestedly.

Tseng hesitates, just looking at him for a moment. "I tend to carry at least a Sense and a Barrier with me."

Information and defence. "Fitting," Sephiroth hums, looking him up and down. "Using Materia, you have a pool of MP," he says. "Correct?"

"... Yes, obviously I do," Tseng agrees slowly, even more on edge now. "What of it?"

Sephiroth's eyes wander up his face - and to the red dot adorning the space between his brows. 

In PIDW many cultivators marked their upper dantian. Shen Qingqiu did too, when he felt like it, with a little red line. It was where Luo Binghe's Demon Seal rested too, marking his connection and curse from the heavens. What such markings mean tends to vary with the setting and what rules, traditions and myths were in play. But usually they mark someone as especially enlightened.

Why Tseng has a mark on his forehead, Sephiroth has no idea. He's pretty sure it wasn't ever fully explained or explored, like a lot of other things about Wutai. It's very clearly deliberately applied, and it means something. 

Sephiroth hums to himself, as the Turk braces himself for a battle he doesn't even know is already over.

"Tell me, Tseng," he says and smiles, "Do you know where the MP resides in your body?" 

-

Get Shizun'd, part two.

This was brought to you by fever and a good nap.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for debating hiring outside help for my husband and I's house because we can't keep up alone?

For context: My (26 Fae ftm) husband (28M) live very happy and healthily together. While I'm unable to medically transition due to a bunch of reasons we'll get to, he has been nothing but a solid rock in my life and the one person that has always been on my side. Through dragging me out of an abusive household to helping me with my chronic illness, he's been an absolute angel despite dressing like the devil himself (he's goth). So I don't want any hate on him.

He is ADHD and I'm Autistic. Yes, hello, we are that couple~♡ This does cause us some issues tho as he is unmedicated and I'm just struggling in general with sensory issues for certain chores. So far we keep each other some what afloat, having him do chores that my sensory issues can't handle and my doing ones he can't focus through.

However, as previously mentioned I'm chronically ill. I won't get into many details but it's basically I'm internally bleeding at random intervals. And before people think I'm talking about just my period, no it's so bad that I have once had to go to the ER for a blood transfusion due to this internal bleeding and had times when I was bleeding for over 4 months straight.

My husband and I because of this condition are pretty much struggling financially. I can work but it makes me extremely fatigued since I'm essentially working with constant Anemia. It gets bad enough some days that he can't wake me up without over an hour of effort, even after I've slept 10hrs. The fatigue is REALLY bad. He works just as much as I do, sometimes more because his work is so shortstaffed and he likes to pick up extra shifts to try and save up for the surgery that would hopefully fix everything.

This has culminated though in us both being extremely exhausted near 24/7 for the last year-ish but we have finally hit a break. I recently got a huge pay increase (nearly $200 a week increase) so we are hopeful for the first time in months. We're starting to pay down my extreme medical debt and being able to just go get dinner when he doesn't want to cook.

Here's where I may be kind of TA... Despite this hope, my condition recently did get worse. I've now gone another 3 months still bleeding and having to suffer my Anemia symptoms and medication. This has caused me to fall massively behind on what should be my chores, and while my husband doesn't begrudge me it, it has caused our home to start becoming very, very unhygienic. As someone who grew up with a clean freak mother, it kinda upsets me. He's focusing more and more on me and less on the house so even his chores are falling behind too.

None of that is his fault. He loves me so much he wants to help Me first but it has gotten to where we are both going "we really need to clean the house..." but neither of us have enough battery to do so. Me becuz of my condition and he becuz he's stuck caring for me.

We have enough that we might be able to afford to hire a cleaning service to help us out, but it would cost us some of the freedom and paying down medical bills. I think it'd only be a temporary thing, once I recover from my current episode, we can probably get better... but I don't know how long it will be.

On top of this I'm worried paying for this service will further put off my surgery as we struggle to save up for it again... We've already had to tap into that savings cuz my current episode lost me 2 days at work.

Is it unfair for me to ask to use our new extra money for essentially my not wanting to have to bother doing basic chores? I know I'm tired but I've lived with it so long I could and should probably just push through.

What are these acronyms?

[spooky-bunnys]

Hey! Can I get the new episode of Baby Haitani? I love your series and look forward to its new episodes!!

I was already writing it when I was asked this and I finished it as fast as I could. So here you go.

Haitani Baby Brother

Part 3

It's been many weeks since (Name) found out he was pregnant. He was extremely scared at first. But now he's excited. He's gonna have a pup! (Name) rubbed his slightly bigger stomach with a soft smile. His brothers on the other hand were gettingout of control if he wasbeing honest. They wee becoming more protective then usual. Which (Name) thought they couldn't do honestly.

He thought back to a few days ago. So far (Name)'s biggest craving has been Cheesecake for some reason. But Ran had gone with (Name) on his cheesecake adventure. When he ran into his ex. His ex took one look at Ran and how (Name)'s tight shirt showed his slightly pregnant stomach. Let's just say the Alpha wasn't happy about "his" omega getting pregnant. Ran nearly killed the guy if it wasn't for (Name).

But when the Alpha demanded that (Name) get rid of the pup he was carrying so he could carry his....well (Name) let Ran finish him off. Ran had gotten (Name) and his craving before quickly getting him away from the Bakery. Now that (Name) thought about it. His brothers have been very touchy on where he goes. They won't even let him go back to their work place anymore! Like they're trying to avoid him meeting someone....

(Name) sighed and ate another peanut butter covered pickle. Okay so he's started his weird craving phase and he's pretty sure he made his current body guard sick from it considering nobody even wants to be in the same room with him while he eats. He had an appointment today and he was just waiting for one of his brothers to come get him. There was always one of them with him.

Except when important meetings were held. Like now. (Name) changed the channel. He was tired of the news honestly. They talk about how bad Bonten was. What about how bad the government was? He shook his head and pouted when he realized he was out of pickles. "Oh! Maybe we have some honey! I can definitely go for some honey toast." (Name) walked past the long mirror in the hallway and froze. He looked like he was getting so big...

(Name) turned to the side and rubbed his stomach. Okay it was quite a bit bigger then last week. What the fuck? (Name) paled slightly. Why was he getting so big so quickly? The front door behind him opened revealing his brothers smiling happily before they noticed the nearly crying and pale (Name). The brother stood still. Not moving. Rindou slowly opened his mouth to ask what was wrong when (Name) started crying.

"Why am I getting so big so quickly?!" The brothers traded looks. Shoving one another to calm down their crying brother. Ran lost when Rindou kicked the back of his knee and sent him into the floor. He turned glaring at Rindou who was too "busy" checking the calendar. Ran stood and tried (hint word: tried) to calm (Name) down but the Omega kept crying.

"I'm too big for one baby! What if there's more then one?! No Alpha will want me!" The brothers froze and thought about his statement. (Name) indeed was bigger then usual for being almost 3 ½ months pregnant. But they haven't been able to go to many appointments due to Bonten. Ran shared a look with Rindou before carefully pulling (Name) close.

"Well maybe you have twins (Name). That's okay we'll love all of you and them the same. You don't need an Alpha when you have your Anikis!" That just made (Name) crying more. Ran started freaking out trying to get Rindou to help him out. Rindou rolled his eyes at his older brother but frowned in thought. Ran had done a few tests with the pup or pups their baby brother is carrying and they are Sanzu's.

The brothers have been doing everything they can to make sure they don't meet. They don't want (Name) getting heart broken and they know what'll happen if he's rejected. (Name) could actually die and the brothers just couldn't let that happen. He was everything to them. Rindou took a deep breath looking as serious as he could. "(Name) listen while your at the appointment with Aniki. I'm gonna look for that Alpha okay?"

Ran looked over at him with absolute panic. (Name) calmed down briefly looking at Rindou with tears still going down his face. "R-Really?" Rindou nodded his face so soft. Ran didn't understand. He thought they decided to keep them apart. Yeah Sanzu gives them money for (Name) and his cravings. But they could lose their baby brother and his their future nieces and nephews. Rindou gave Ran a look and nodded. Ran sighed in defeat and lead (Name) away to get ready.

Rindou didn't know what came over him when he got to Bonen head quarters and saw an upset Sanzu in his older brothers office. One second he was texting Ran about the appointment and entering the office next he had Sanzu against the desk. A hand wrapped around Sanzu's neck. The test results between Sazu and the pups. Along with a shirt (Name) had left in the panic room. "What are you doing in here?!" Rindou growled.

He didn't expect a whimper in return. He expected Sanzu to growl back at him. When Rindou's phone rang he didn't hesitate to answer still holding Sanzu down. It was Ran and by the sound of his excitement their earlier thoughts were correct. "Rin! (Name) is gonna have twins! Turns out one had been hiding behind the other!" He cold hear his baby brother sobbing in the background which made the hold on Sanzu tighten.

Ran hung up after talking for a few more minutes. Making plans on what to do with the pups. Rindou started down his co-worker. "Hear that druggie? Twins. You got my brother pregnant. With. TWINS!" Before Rindou could actually do any damage he was ripped off Sanzu. "Hey! I can smell the anger from Mikey's office! What's going on?" That's when the other members saw the test results and the pale Sanzu.

Takeomi slowly grabbed them holding them up for him and the others to see. "Are you serious? Were you still trying to get out of that!?" They looked at him in disappointment. Rindou glared down at him. "We just found out (Name)'s got twins." The air froze as everyone let the information set. Twins? Kokonoi was the first to break the silence. "Twins?? Are you serious?!" Rindou nodded not taking his eyes off Bontens second. Waiting for his reaction.

Sanzu slowly made eye contact with him. "He's having two of my pups?" Takeomi looked overjoyed while Kakucho and Mochi didn't look too pleased. "You were gonna leave that poor male omega with twins?" Mochi scoffed. "You call yourself a man?" "All I see is a little bitch." Kakcho growled. They've gotten to know the Omega over the last few weeks. He was too sweet to be left like that. He didn't deserve it.

Mikey made his presence known. "If you leave that Omega. Say goodbye to Bonten. You'll also never meet your pups since (Name) is under our protection. We'll protect him even from you." Everyone stared at him. He'd kick Sanzu from Bonten over this? Mikey then marched and stood in front and Sanzu. "I'm surprised you don't remember him." Remember him?

"(Name) was one of the students at my grandfather's dojo." Rindou stiffened. That's right but after an incident with an Alpha kid the brothers took him out. "I didn't remember until I saw an old photo of us at the dojo. You, me, Baji, and little (Name)." Mikey crouched down and gripped the front of Sanzu's suit. "(Name) was the Omega you swore you'd marry remember? The one you swore to look after and protect!"

Mikey swung hitting him right across the face. "The one who got attack by a Alpha just a year older then us! Now look at him Haruchiyo....pregnant with twins. You're twins I may add." Sanzu slowly lifted himself off the floor and stared at the ground. "So what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your Omega? The one who you swore you were gonna marry and look after?" It was like something clicked in his mind and then Sanzu was out the office door making his way to the Elevators.

His Omega needed him. His pups needed him.....He needed them. When he hit the lobby he ran as fast as he could. He ran passed multiple employees. He ran outside and directly to his car. He had seen on Ran's calendar that (Name) had an appointment at 3pm but now it was almost 5. So he knew (Name) had to be at home at the Haitani brothers penthouse. So he'd go there.

When Ran got the call from Rindou that Sanzu was on his way. He didn't know how to feel. He was told how their co-worker had "claimed" their baby brother as kids and apparently had completely forgot about it. Not until Mikey reminded him of the promise from so long ago. He remembers (Name) excitedly barging into his room one day after his lessons at the Dojo.

(Name) began explaining how he met the most handsome Alpha and how the Alpha swore and promised to look after him and marry him. Not even 2 weeks after that (Name) had been attacked by an older Alpha kid. He remembers how scared him and Rindou was that they'd lost (Name). He'd barley survived the attack. Thats when they decided to hide him from the world. They homeschooled him and kept him safe and away from any danger.

Until Sanzu Haruchiyo stepped into (Name)'s life again. Getting the male omega pregnant with not one pup but two. Which was extremely rare for omegas much less male omegas. Considering male Omega's could actually push the pups out. He knew this pregnancy was gonna be rough. For all the Haitani's. He turned to (Name) seeing him watching a cooking show and eating....a cheesecake? Where'd he get that?

"(Name) where did you get that cheesecake?" (Name) turned to his oldest brother and shrugged. "It was in front of the door when we got here." Ran immediately smacked the cheesecake out of his hands. "(Name)! Why would you eat it then?! What if there's something in it. Oh my god (Name) puke up what you ate right now!" Ran stuck his fingers into (Name)'s mouth and a little down his throat making (Name) puke what food he'd been eating.

(Name) looked at the ruined cheesecake with a heart broken expression before glaring at Ran. Ran was just realized what he did paled. Ah shit. Now (Name) was locked up in his room. Yelling at Ran to get him more cheesecake since he ruined the one he had. "But (Name) there could've been poison in it! Think about what it would've done to the pups!" Silence. "Thank you. Now can you get me a new cheesecake? I want a cheesecake with strawberries and chocolate..."

Ran sweatdropped. Man pregnant Omega's were really weird. Ran pulled out his phone and texted Rindou about how (Name) wanted a cheesecake with strawberries and chocolate. Ran didn't realize how much they were gonna spend on the cheesecakes (Name) would be craving. Like who likes that much cheesecake?! While Ran was ranting about his baby brothers craving the door bell had gone off.

Ran stood stiff since he knew that wasn't Rindou. Rindou hadn't even gotten to the Bakery where (Name) Likes his cheesecakes. It had to be that specific Bakery or dear god. Ran slowly crept to the front door. Gun drawn and ready. When he looked through the peak hole he saw a shifting Sanzu. Wait....how did he get here so fast? Ran cracked the door and stared through it. "Sanzu. What can I do for you?"

Sanzu looked up determined. "I'm here to see (Name)." Ran stared at him. "If. That's IF! I let you in, what are you going to do?" "I'm going to do what I need to do. Be there for him and our pups." Ran looked surprised and then stared not believing him. "Well I hope you know we expect you to actually stay with him...Sanzu. Not pretend to care for I'm and the pups. Do you plan kn making him your mate?"

Sanzu didn't hesitate to nod. "Yes. I do. I want to be with him and be there there for him and the pups." Ran stared before slowly unlocking and opening the door completely. "Well just to warn you. He's in a bad mood. A mysterious cheesecake showed up and when I found out he was eating it I flipped. Threw it to the ground and made him puke the rest up. So if he doesn't get a new cheesecake he won't be happy."

Sanzu walked through the door and threw Ran a playful look. "His biggest craving had been cheesecake?" Ran nodded chuckling. "Oh yeah. He always has to have it." Sanzu laughed. "Cheesecake is my favorite sweet. Although it has to be from a specific bakery." Ran looked confused before looking at him. "Same with (Name)'s cheesecake craving." Sanzu grinned. Those were definitely his pups. No doubt.

If you want to read others. Click HERE

[pyschedtrickster]

TADC Ep 2 - Depression and the Meaning of Life

Well, I may or may not be a day late to release of the episode, but I've watched it three times so far and I have some thoughts. Let's get the gritty stuff outta the way.

First of all, The Amazing Digital Circus belongs to @gooseworx and therefore everything I say here is just my personal take on the episode. I could be wrong, talking out my ass, etc. But this episode really spoke to me, so good job Goose.

Secondly, spoilers <3

Third, I think I've written enough that people won't get jumpscared with spoilers. This is gonna be a long read, so bear with me. This post will contain ALL my thoughts on the episode, both meaningful and just silly things I liked.

BUBBLE

So anyone who knows me from Bunnydoll Burrow knows I love Bubble. They're my favorite so far and this episode only cemented that further. They're wonderful comedic relief and even if they don't have any character development (which I don't think they will), I will always love them.

Caine Cares Too Much

While watching this, I was immediately off-put by Caine's reactions, even beginning with him calling Zooble back. He sounds so... dire? I don't know if that was intended to mean something or if it was just to put emphasis on how much Caine cares about his creations. Caine is AI, so world-building is likely his ONLY goal, or his prompt if you will. It wouldn't surprise me if that was why he was so upset by everyone's reactions.

But I can't help but wonder if this will play into his character arc. We understand that Caine is ambiguous right now and there's no real explanation of what his intentions are in the Circus. Something about this just really set me off. It made me feel unsafe in a way as if staying behind would result in danger of some kind. Obviously, it couldn't be that bad, as Zooble did stay behind and turned out fine. Still, I can't shake the feeling that this is foreshadowing.

Zoobie

Hilarious. What a solid nickname, I've seen so many headcanons that Zooble would be a stoner in the real world. This only makes it better. They are now Zoobie in my mind.

Pomni's Child Comment

While I'm sure this was just a silly comment to be made, I kinda liked it. Just a little in-show reminder that through all of this, Pomni is a real, grown-ass woman stuck inside some digital Hell. The whole first episode, we see her wallowing and panicking, justifiably so. Finally, we get to see her grow more serious and stable.

Through the episode, we see more of her being a good character and becoming more at terms with her situation. I'll touch on this more soon.

Gangle

My girl CANNOT catch a break. Gangle is such a funny character and so, so sweet. She's level-headed in my opinion, even through her emotions. She seems to have a good grip on the shit happening around her but has a hard time communicating properly because she has a lot of feelings going on. Me too, honey, me too.

Even in the face of violence, danger, and overall shitfuckery, she doesn't shut down. Sure, she cries. But I've cried plenty of times while still holding the fort down. I think I just relate to her.

Lastly, I NEED to know what this means like I need oxygen.

Government Mandated Shipping

I dunno man, I just really liked this. I'm a shipper at heart. I've been writing fanfic since middle school. I saw pure fanfic material when I watched this scene.

Kinger and Raggs

This scene made me smile. It's a cute nod towards how Kinger is the longest-standing character and, according to some lost post of Goose's, Ragatha is the second. Plus, all of episodes one and two, we see her trying so hard to be a rock for Pomni. She tries to include everyone, keep everyone cheerful, and be a stable constant in a realm of chaos; Seeing Kinger recognize how far she's come and using that to bring her back to reason was just so refreshing. Ragatha deserves more appreciation like that: less about what she does for others, and more about what she's done for herself.

Jax's Disappointment

So we don't know much about Jax besides how Goose loves him and says he's an asshole who may or may not be irredeemable. When he started talking about violence and getting excited at the thought, I chalked it up to him being an ass. But it struck me just how much this mattered to Jax in this scene. I have questions, man. But I'm about to go on a wild tangent, so hear me out.

Jax is happy when being destructive. He gets immediately upset when things go well. And in the circus, we can assume that there have been a lot of traumatic, wild things that have occurred. I wonder if the chaos, the violence, is a comfort for Jax because of those traumatic experiences. As a person with trauma, I've learned that there's a funny cycle that I and other traumatized people experience.

We don't like the situations we're in, but when faced with normalcy, it's so much scarier than the damaging situation we come from. So, we run from 'normal' back into the suffocating arms of our traumatizing situations for comfort. Going back to the situation means more trauma, more trauma means a harder time finding peace in a safe, normal environment, which means more trauma... you get the picture.

So am I saying a fictional purple bunny is using violence in a digital realm to cope with the very real topic of trauma? Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am. This is how I cope.

Depression, Finding Your Place, and the Bigger Picture

Now you may be saying, "hey! You skipped over some major scenes to talk about silly stuff! What gives?"

Well, as the title of this post suggests, I had some heavier stuff to address in this episode and wanted to compile it all in one section. So that meant skipping over a scene to bunch it in with other ones. I'll break it down.

Depression

Let me begin with the fact that I have been diagnosed with depression for years now. I've been hospitalized for it and I've had family members struggle with it around me. This heavily influenced how I viewed this episode and specifically this scene.

Gummigoo had a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing the perfect replica of him that is his model. Seeing something like that would shatter your world, and we see that happen to him immediately.

But when Gummigoo talked to Pomni and asked why anything matters, it gave me this really familiar feeling. Thoughts of being nothing, of feeling meaningless, the mere idea of being an obstacle--I've experienced all of these. I'm sure others have. Pomni was right when she said it's normal. Everyone has felt down from time to time.

But what Gummigoo is talking about really hit home with my depression. Thoughts like these, especially when they linger for long, change how you view the world. Everything is tinted blue and desaturated. You feel empty and eventually, so does the world around you. You feel like when the party is over and everyone leaves, you disappear--or you think you should, at least.

"Why are you trying to cheer me up? How does this benefit you at all?"

And it's so, so hard to accept help when feeling like this. Depression is a bitch in the way that it wants you to stay depressed. It feels like everyone around you wants you to feel better because it is a convenience for them. It almost feels transactional if you smile.

But Pomni says it so beautifully; "I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."

The way she says it makes me feel like she knows the feeling too, and in reality, she says she does understand in a way how Gummigoo feels. But that? That made it real for me. I don't know why. This whole scene, the entrapment and loneliness despite not actually being alone, just embodied how I've felt for years. What amazing writing.

Finding Your Place

This scene was really the cherry on top of everything I just spoke about. We see that these two understand each other, at least as much as they can. They recognize all of this, it's ridiculous. They're hurtling through space into the unknown, hoping everything works out. They may feel empty, but they're not alone. They've got each other, for better or worse. Maybe they don't know where they belong in this liminal space, but they know where they stand in each other's minds.

And then we get this ending scene. God. Fuck.

I knew that there was obviously something to that dream Pomni had in the beginning, but somehow I didn't expect this to be the conclusion to it. I guess I was too distracted by everything else. So when I got to this shot, I got all warm and teary-eyed.

Pomni finally feels like she's got a pack, a place in this digital circus. When you don't feel mentally alone anymore, there seems to be a weight that's lifted off your shoulders. It doesn't cure the sadness, but at least you know that if you need to be picked up, someone will be there. Depression wants you to be alone, but it just lost that battle. The internet has said it best: A win is a win.

The Bigger Picture

We all know where the end of the road is. How we get there is the mystery. This thought can really make a person feel small, especially when depression comes in to tell you that you in fact are small, according to the chemicals in your brain. But the power of numbers and knowing your place in the world makes facing the unknown a little easier.

I'll be honest, the words are kinda lost on me at this point. Our demise is a really hard topic to broach. I've lost a lot of people, especially some major players in my life (shoutout to the Dead Dads club), and still, I don't understand it all. But the best way I can explain it is through my own experience and how I applied it to this episode.

I had for a long time gone through life trying to prepare and prepare. I played the role of the strong, unaffected individual after being hardened by trauma in childhood. I didn't want to be outwardly emotional, because if I was I would have to admit defeat.

It made me feel weak, especially when my depression would whisper nasty things to me about my self-worth. The bigger picture at that time didn't even exist in my mind. I lived to serve and die. It was no way to live.

Only recently, with time, a couple grippy sock vacays and therapy have I started to form my own, new big picture. At the center of this is my interactions with others. Family, friends, and strangers, all of them are affected by my actions. Even during the days when I feel worthless or alone, I remind myself that even the little things I do have a spiderweb effect. I have worth, more so than serving others or being some obstacle. I can simply walk down the street and perhaps I'll be the person who some kid looks at and hopes to look like when they're older. My existence is so much more than just a give-and-take situation with everyone around me.

It felt like Pomni found her purpose in the circus, and it was more than just playing along until the end. Rather, it was to befriend the people around her who have proved in one way or another way that they care. Abstraction wasn't in vain to them. Lives mattered, and therefore so did Pomni.

In a vast, digital world where chaos looms like a grey cloud, Pomni always mattered. She just had to realize how, and it was much more than being an obstacle or a pawn. And so do we, I think.