#tools since.. yk. it means in this case

[kurjakani]

I gotta sleep but hey. Ive been planning on getting a tablet for work (draw on the go, at school etc, so i can work on breaks, traveling yk) but i kinda do have a distaste for apple products they just feel cold in my hands and unwelcoming. But i know their tablets are pretty nifty.

Anyone here have any comparative experiences w tablets from samsung for art? I generally use clip studio paint personally.

[anaid-queen]

thoughts on Astarion and asexuality

by a certified asexual ✌

yes, Astarion confirmed during Act II that he's only ever used sex as a tool (for as long as he's been a vampire anyway, which we learn later has been more than 80% of his life so far), either for his master because he was forced to or (more recently) for himself - to seek protection and trust, from you. he literally compares it to something disgusting to force himself through. but does that mean he's asexual?

yes, he talks about sex feeling "tainted" to him after he used it so much to lure Cazador's victims (and apparently, not just because it usually worked, but because he had to..? he doesn't specify, but lbr i wouldn't put it past the bastard to make it a rule of some kind, especially if he picked up on Astarion disliking it), but he also talks about being less disgusted by (quote) "beautiful" people (though he also conceded that in the sum of it all, that barely even mattered).

and he jokes about it being "almost [...] a challenge" to not have sex for a while (though it's unclear whether he thinks the player wouldn't be able to hold out, since it's supposed to be on his (Astarion's) terms?), and by the end of the romance arc, you can choose to have sex with him again and he'll enjoy it. all in all, it mostly really sounds like he's deeply traumatized (i mean duh, but yk, also sexually traumatized) and just needs a while to work through that (if you don't give him that time he'll go through with it once more but then break up with you, fyi)) and not like he actually doesn't enjoy sex, never has never will.

i know he was not written as asexual.

[ and yes i also know that asexuality doesn't mean having no desire for / feeling disgusted by sex, i know. but the day ace rep is portrayed any differently in media is still ages away, so i'm working with "character intentionally written as ace = character written as not enjoying sex" here. ]

But.

is it so wrong to feel elated at the thought that he could be? to interpret him that way? especially when he says "I don't think I want you to think of me in terms of sex. I don't know if I want anyone to." (and says the second part so softly, eyes downcast, utterly devoid of theatrics or feigned nonchalance - almost like he's surprising himself with that thought, and voicing it openly). I felt that so much. upon you inquiring further, he snaps almost defensively that he wants to be seen as a person, which i know, i know, easily works back into the trauma narrative of him not being seen as a living (well yk) being that has feelings. it clearly doesn't necessarily mean he dislikes being seen as a sexual being, just that he's more than that and is sick and tired of being reduced to it.

but something still jumped in me at that line. 'please don't look at me and think of sex' is a frequent thought in my mind, and looking at me and thinking of seduction is a joke and a half - i don't dress it behave it or talk it, ever. but nonetheless, the... fear, almost? is still there. (and maybe the very reason i take care not to send any contradictory signals, but that's a topic for a whole 'nother post - this isn't about me).

i just. do i think Astarion was intentionally written as asexual? no. do i think he should be, and that there's something wrong with seeing him or preferring him as allo? absolutely not either! but i believe just as much that it's valid to read him or prefer him as ace. and yk, obv everything is valid, canon is your sandbox and your headcanons are your own - but in this case, it's really, really close to being in the text. he resonates with a lot of us, one way or another, and i think that's beautiful.

[reanimatedgh0ul]

ok so the other day on tumblr i mentioned that if one were to keep walker and his goons as characters than i'd rather have them be guys in white agents than essentially ghost cops imo

thru thinking abt this some more i think came up w an idea on how i want prisoners love/public enemies to look in my re:animated au along w how i can incorporate this excellent point my mutual made once

essentially the giw i.e. walker and his guys capture wulf after he crossed paths w danny on a patrol one night and rather than danny being the one who could've gotten caught it was wulf who took fall for this kid who he barely met

this sticks out to danny and figures that he now owes it to this guy to get him out

to me the heist happening later in mid/nearing the end of s1 is key bc this ep is the culmination of the trio over course of this season having to come together and work as a team essentially the potential heist is going to put that to the test

i'm also combining the prison break from prisoners of love here so that although initially danny only came here for wulf once he sees the other ghosts that are trapped there he feels obligated to free them as well and along w help wulf retrieve an artifact (the infini map) that he was ultimately trying to keep away from the giw

bc with that under their possession they could finally complete their objective which is to eradicate all ghosts in the ghost zone from the town

rather than the school and the mayor promoting the fentons as the ones who are tasked w dealing w the supposed threat of the ghosts at large it's the giw who are instead brought in

to me this change works on account them being a government funded organization so they have a certain level of public authority that maddie/jack don't

since they're not ghosts this time around and can't possess ppl in order to frame danny, they instead use the power and authority they do wield to enforce whatever narrative they want so that the denizens will believe that they have to trust and rely on them even if they don't actually have the town's best interest at heart and what they're doing is completely self serving

if that means making out wulf and soon afterwards danny as public threats so be it

even though we know danny isn't an actual threat to anyone but rather actually has the town's best interest at heart and is doing a much better job at performing his civic duty rather than ppl who supposedly claim that they do

and bc of the stunt him and sam/tucker pulled off he's now on the giw's shitlist specifically walker and his guys as they were put in charge of handling this case and failed horribly according to their superiors so now walker has personal grudge against danny bc of this

it's also worth noting that if you've been following me for awhile then yk that bc i read danny as a brown mexican kid, the fact his status as ghost is making him the target of a goverment funded organization specifically designed to detain him and others like him

the real world parallels i'm trying to draw here aren't exactly subtle and that's on purpose

also the fact that giw want the infini map which is a ghost artifact that belongs rightfully to the ghost zone and not them but is then stolen by them and claimed as a government property that they then intend to exploit as a tool in assisting their eradication of ghosts further adds to my au's overarching theme of colonialism btw

[spicesweet]

any tips for someone who wants to stop counting cals and ⭐vng in 2024? (so happy you're back 💙)

first of all, ty, I'm happy to be back too 🤍

in my case, quitting counting calories worked because my entire mindset around what food really is has changed.

I'm reading SO much more on nutrition than I used to, and there are so many studies showing that our focus on calorie quantity is extremely misinformed and is actually a strategy by the food industry to keep responsibility over obesity and food-related health issues on the consumer rather than on the industry.

that made me understand that it is the quality, not the quantity of food that really matters, and that made counting calories useless: I don't need to really do math if I understand the food in front of me and how nutritious it is or isn't and how my body will go through it.

I think understanding nutrition and our body's relationship with food in a biological and chemical level is way more useful and important than doing this sick little math routine. this is still a fairly recent development for me, but it is already showing overwhelmingly positive results in my daily life.

now, it's been a long time since I quit trying to starve myself into skinniness, and for multiple reasons. first one being: it doesn't work.

well, I mean, sure, if I were to actually starve myself, it would make me lose some kilos, sure. but I don't think most people understand really how impossible it is to maintain that. only very few people have the circumstances that allow them to keep starving for a long time in order to maintain it, and the effects of that are so devastating for the body that it stops making sense to me. even in my most self-destructive phase, I wasn't trying to kill myself, I wanted to live, live the life I dreamed of. I didn't want to be a weak and stinky and hollowed shade of a person, I wanted to be pretty and small. that's still my thing. I don't want my teeth and hair to fall off, I don't want my digestive system to turn on itself, I don't want bad breath and eyesight, I just want to feel good about my body, no matter what.

and all those considerations would be if starving for that long of a period was possible for me, which it never was. I never lived alone, I only started to have food autonomy (deciding what I ate + cooking what I ate) around 7 years ago, and I've always had responsibilities and, yk, a life that required energy. plus, I've never been in a situation where food wasn't available for me, and I was never able to trick my brain into believing it.

and what happens when you have food available and you want to stay away from it is that your brain will turn on you. your brain doesn't give two fucks that you want to starve for cosmetic reasons: its job is to keep you alive no matter what. if your brain knows you can eat but are choosing not to, the second it becomes too hungry to handle your basic needs, it will do whatever it takes for you to eat, and if it has to turn on you, it will. if it has to give you cravings, it will, if it has to start a stream of self-hating thoughts to get you to give up, it will. if it has to break you, it will.

(does that sound familiar for anyone who has a frequent or chronic binge eating issue?)

understanding that + understanding more about the food industry, health, nutrition and biology made me realize that this would be a vicious cycle of pain and struggle followed by frustration and even more pain, and it would result in nothing.

the urges haven't gone away, of course. I still think of starving myself as nice. I still love hunger pains. I find it exciting and sweet. I still see it as a "tool" that makes me calm down when I'm having a very hard time. it still gives me a sense of control and discipline.

but so does keeping my diet, exercising every single day, learning about nutrition and health. that also makes me feel like I'm in charge, like I'm the person I want to be already, even if my size is not the one I want. and with this type of discipline and struggle, I actually see results. not the "I didn't eat for 3 days so I'm dehydrated and that makes it look like I've lost weight and got smaller but if I put a single peanut in my mouth I'll be worse than before" results (again, familiar, anyone?), but the kind of day-to-day progress, the quiet and surprising type.

some motivation I've gathered for myself: when I was one month into my diet+exercise regime, I started to hear from my husband how much my body had changed. within two months, I went to a pool party where my friend said I was the one with the best body out of all of us, that I was in great shape. in three months, my older clothes started to drop from my frame. this had NEVER happened before, not in the decade and so that I tried to waste my body away. not a single fucking time.

I'm not saying that shifting into this lifestyle is easy (it literally took me my whole life to start it lol) but it's what makes sense to me now. it's what makes me resilient and proud and it's what makes me happy even if I'm still obsessive and still technically clinically ill. but at least I'm over that issue. yk?

I hope this helps you, sorry I wrote so much, I literally can't shut the fuck up about this subject HAHAHA 🤍✨

[mimi-croissant]

please talk about the strawberry shortcake polycule I knew I wasn't the only one who put her and nearly all her friends in some sort of relationship I cannot begin to explain everything /nf

OOH WOO BOY IS THIS GONNA BE LONG I THINK…

(I hc Lemon as aroace so unfortunately she’s not really included in the romantic polycule but I still love her so much)

Ok so starting with our line up of girls in the polycule: Strawberry, Orange, Lime, Blueberry, Raspberry, Suzette, Granola, Grapes

Who is dating who: Strawberry and Orange, Strawberry and Raspberry, Strawberry and Lime, Strawberry and Granola, Lime and Suzette, Lime and Blueberry, Raspberry and Grapes

AND ALL THEIR INVIDUAL COUPLE/GROUP DYNAMICS AND SUCH ARE SO FUN even with groups who have two people not dating they’re so fun. I know some dynamics are more fleshed out in my mind than others butttt (I’ll start w/ the Strawberry relationships since you asked for that but I also really wanna talk about the others)

Strawberry + Orange: You know them. The originals. The classic. One of my favorites. They are both so competitive in the best way but also put their differences aside to just have fun auggggh. And they cosplay and read comics together like??? Goals fr. “I’ll be your Guava Girl any day” IS SO ROMANTIC and they share drinks with each other and everything too. They are best friends to lovers who are mutually pining so hard it hurts they hold hands all the time and definitely hug a lot. Orange can literally carry Strawberry and lift her up enough said they’re so cute. THE SPIN HUG POTENTIAL??? CMON NOW!

Strawberry + Raspberry: Reformed mean city girl and sweet country girl they are so silly. They hated each other then started liking each other and I just :(( it’s so cute. ALSO THEY ARE LATINA4LATINA I DONT MAKE THE RULES! They have competitions in a way that’s different than Orange and Strawberry I think, especially when it comes to baking. They bake together real and canon they work flawlessly in the kitchen together it’s adorable. They know what the other needs before they even say it they are IN SYNC! Raspberry would throw hands for Strawberry. They have flour fights in the kitchen.

Orange + Strawberry + Raspberry: LISTEN. Listen. This trio is amazing. Just look at Fruitleg Alley for their dynamic it is beautiful. Orange and Raspberry are besties or a qpr yk yk. They are Strawberry Shortcake protectors they would do anything for her and vice versa.

Strawberry + Lime: I’m so biased this is one of my favorite pairings. They just! Go shopping together! They figure out each others boundaries and what they’re comfortable with! They hold hands while shopping and drag each other across the store! Sometimes they get kicked out for being clumsy and knocking down a display case it’s ok. Strawberry will make Lime donuts because they are her favorite. Strawberry likes making different kinds of donuts and Lime is her taste tester. Strawberry sometimes leaves boxes of donuts on Limes cart with a sticky note “for Lime” even though Lime always gets to their cart before Lemon. They share food! They hold hands and comfort each other and I just aggggh them forever.

Strawberry + Granola: They are just silly yk. Strawberry helps her improve and she would help Strawberry garden… they would garden together MANNN… you know imagine Granola holding Strawberry’s hand and showing her on to use the tools!

Strawberry + Lime + Orange: They are such good friends ok like. It’s crazy. I haven’t put much thought into Lime and Orange but they are besties qpr or dating! For funsies. They would cause SOOO much chaos and depending on the day Lime is usually the voice of reason </3 but sometimes she’s gotta cause trouble too yk. Strawberry bakes for them and make stuff they both like when she sees that they’re down. And just in general. CUDDLE PILES WITH THESE THREE. Movie night with sweets. Orange and Strawberry listening closely when Lime talks about books or fashion even though they have no clue what she’s talking about. They love to give each other forehead and cheek kisses… Lime has to take her glasses off sometimes when they both want to kiss her cheeks at the same time. Braid trains are a common thing with them, and sometimes Raspberry and/or Blueberry will join those. They love each other very much.

Lime + Suzette: Fashion girlfriends. Need I say more. They are another one of my absolute favorites. They shop together and have brunch together (sometimes without Bread. Sorry bro, the girls gotta have dates sometimes <3). They know each others coffee orders by heart and play footsies under the table. Lime likes to wear her big green hat because one of them will grab it to hide their faces when they kiss. It’s mostly for the vibe tbh. They go slow dancing together. The amount of pictures and selfies they take together is crazy. They take even more pictures of the other while they’re not looking. Albums dedicated to each other in their phones. (Lime has one for all her girlfriends). They do fashion shows at stores and stay from opening until closing or until the store kicks them out. Whatever comes first. They like to simply be in each others presence as Lime reads and Suzette designs clothes.

Lime + Blueberry: They are so comfortable with each other. They will fall asleep on each other at the worst possible time. They might not get each other 100% of the time but they work to understand and respect each other. They do each others hair a lot of the time as well. Holding hands and putting them in their pockets sort of deal.

Lime + Blueberry + Granola: You know I just like the idea of them gardening together. Strawberry and Lemon probably join a bit. All the girls join in the gardening I think, but especially them. They would fight over something small and after being upset for .5 seconds they would all apologize and work together.

Raspberry + Grapes: I love them! Best friends to lovers type of beat. One fell first (Grapes) the other fell harder (Raspberry). Grapes has drawn them holding hands! They have known each other since childhood and definitely got married in the sandbox when they were younger and playing princesses. They both thought they were the only on pining until they confessed. They don’t show the most PDA but you can still tell they are together. Also they have this thing where Raspberry is being a better person but Grapes has to stay with Pie Man because he’s “family” or whatever you know… kinda angsty but whatever. They work through it though I know it. “They would have different bedrooms if they lived together” type of couple.

And that’s all for now djejdne. If you want me to elaborate on something more or talk about different characters I would be so happy to this was so much fun to write! I hope I answered your ask correctly too skskxne

[drewsaturday]

sigh

the "ai art to paint by numbers" post to Make Us Think is lowkey annoying because i don't consider paint by numbers to be art either lol. like if anything i would even say ai art is More in-line with my definition of art than paint by numbers ???

art has so many components to it but the main thing for me is a sense of meaning. what did the person want to say and how did their control of the medium bring it into existence.

a paint by numbers says nothing. you're practicing brush stroke techniques but following someone else's outline and composition and colors. it's a fun exercise using art tools but it's not Art. you didn't put any of your own meaning into it.

ai art Can have artistic intent and an understanding of artistic principles. i still don't like it. i hate the stolen art part of it. but in SOME cases it would fit my definition of art.

ai gen can be a vehicle for art but not everything that comes out of it is art. pencils and paper can be a vehicle for art but not everything you do with a pencil is art.

i guess the definition of art rly is the problem honestly, since some people probably think of it solely as a visual medium on one side so of course your Pretty Picture With Weird Background Merging is art to you. but the other side is debating it in terms of what makes something "art" in a meaningful way that also encompasses music etc. and some people probably think art doesn't Have to have meaning because Anything can be art. and i mean, i gravitate toward that too. there IS something to be said about how the viewer of that art can take meaning from it regardless if no meaning was put into it too. but like, i could derive meaning from a penny on the sidewalk if i really wanted to yk.

but anyway paint by numbers is not going to elicit a new layer to ai gen discourse to me sorry. the piece you're mimicking in paint by numbers is art, but your finished product isn't. your finished product isn't transformative in the way i personally define art to be, unless you put your own spin on it. same shit applies to ai gen, or at least it could apply more cleanly if not for all the stolen fucking art it's built on.

also why is he pouring so much grease in the sink.

[fluffallamaful]

Llama! Hello, how are you? Hope you're doing well! :D

-long ask incoming-

Your last 3 sentence ficlet (lee Dream ler XD) was sooooo cute🥺. And it also kindaa reminded me of something I could absolutely see XD doing to Dream, espc when he was younger/a little kid still.

There's this game/deal kind of thing I know that older siblings propose to their baby siblings when they want something they're not really allowed to. (Irl I know it w stuff like watching wayy more TV or sth, but this is ingame mc so probably... climbing too high trees or exploring cave entrances?? Whatever kids in rl minecraft would get up to I suppose).

The thing with this "game" is.. it's setting the younger sibling up to fail. It's more like a tool for older siblings so they don't have to deny them outright yk?

The "game" itself is pretty simple. If the younger sibling comes to the older one and begs them to allow them to do otherwise "forbidden" stuff the older sibling proposes a deal:

If the younger sibling manages to lay down and keep from laughing/making a sound while their older sibling pushes up their shirt and plants a ticklish kiss (or raspberry, if they're feeling extra mean) on their tummy, then they're free to do whatever they want. But... since kids are terrible with anticipation that's almost never the case. (The most fitting translation I can manage for the name would probably be "tummy-kiss without laughing" or sth similar btw)

Now... we're probably in agreement that Dream doesn't handle anticipation very well, even as an adult. And as a kid he probably was way worse. So I'd imagine this "game" was a favorite of XD's to keep Dream from doing whatever dangerous shit he was about to get up to as a small child (/future-parkour-and-pvp-expert).

Your ficlet, especially the dialogue with the "its part of a deal" implication fit this so perfectly for me idk.... like XD dusted the game off when Dream was about to do something stupidly dangerous even for his current skills, bc he was being too cocky. And Dream thinking he'd be able to manage beating the game easily bc he's older now, he can hold in his laughter right? Wrong.

He'd forgotten to take into consideration that the flustering 'nostalgia' from these games you played as kids (i.e. like the tickle monster or this tummy-kiss game) always makes everything soo much harder, and so he finds himself already choking back his giggles as he goes to lay down on the ground. And with XD now looming over him and seeing their claws move for the bottom of his hoodie to push it up he's... not quite so sure that he's able to handle this anymore.

(Meanwhile XD is watching in amusement as their brother, who was soo confident just a few seconds before, lies on the ground, body tensed in anticipation, hands pulling at the grass, head turned to the side, face completely red and eyes tightly closed. They quirk a grin at the choked whine Dream let's out when they let one of their claws lightly graze his tummy, by accident of course, while pulling up his hoodie. He already lost. (That doesn't mean XD's going to stop though. There's no way he's wasting this opportunity... also leaving Dream so wound up would just be mean now, wouldn't it? :)

AHHHHHHHH juno this is so cute i was smiling the entire tiimmmeee eeeeeeee!!!!!

first off, im a sucker for childhood games suddenly coming up in adulthood, ESPECIALLY from older siblings 😭

second, the whole idea of dream having to stay still while XD places a single, harmless kiss on his tummy is absolutely too adorable for my brain to handle. and dream still not being able to do it even in adulthood is even more adorable

third, this ficlets are so much fun because they open up so much room for interpretation??? because you’ve taken it as XD has promised dream something in the future, but i wrote imagining that dream had already received the thing. and both of them work so perfectly.

because the first scenario (a future promise), involved dream having to agree to play XD’s games, to get the thing. which is just the whole admitting thing that makes anticipation so much more awful (“Ok fine, you can tickle me then…” and then having to actually lie down and lift arms up and everything)

but then in the second scenario (XD shows him something or brings him somewhere or allows him to do something first), then there’s several stages of, “well maybe they’re not serious.” or “ok they’re serious, but hopefully they’ll forget?” and agreeing to it. and then being so excited about the ‘something’, that they forget about the second half of the deal themselves. but of course XD does not.

[billiejean485]

I need to ask. Why does this Senti thing bother you so much?

Yk, at this point I realized I don't even know myself.

At first, before even Ephemeral, I thought it would mean that Adrien is not a human and that they would go down the 'yeah but he's still so similar to a human!' road. Which I couldn't stomach.

Okay, now I've accepted that he is a human but.... I guess I can't fully wrap my brain around it, you know?

As a 5-year-old I easily could, because the scientific part of it would just fly over my head. I'm freakin' 30. I am doing a massive research for my own books so I could make animals that walk and talk like humans absolutely acceptable by the sci-fi community, even though I'm not even into sci-fi. I wanna make it as realistic as possible.

Then there is that 'I am allergic to magic' part too, and that now combined with ethical dilemmas of acting like a god and creating living, feeling and sentient beings out of nothing, mostly as a tool, and then being like: "Okay, I won't be a merciless arshole, of course I'm gonna let it live after I use it."

Believe me when I tell you, I am absolutely livid about the whole thing. Chat Noir has been steadily growing on me since the first episode, and I finally got enough inspiration to sit down and write a fic (I even had ideas for more, but goodbye to that for now).

I absolutely loved this show; I loved the very idea for that Love Square; for everything that was happening and leading towards the reveal - but this was a turn to a dark and bumpy side road I never would have predicted.

Don't get me wrong - if Adrien was a disabled person or was born in absolutely any way known to man in our real world, I would've loved him 10 times more. But this.... Just playing with the very fabric of a being..... It makes me shudder.

Not to mention he never had full free will, something that is crucially important for a human character. Being so abused that you start feeling that you can't do anything about it and actually having your will rendered uncapable to even psychologically respond somewhere inside of you to what you've been told to do.... It can be a parallel, but it's not the same.

I half-broke when I saw Adrien obviously switching to 'puppet-mode' back in Epheneral, and I'm gonna break entirely if I see him completely will-less like Sentibug was for example, the moment Marinette took the Amok in her hands.

Adrien is not who we thought he is. We don't know how many decisions he made on his own in his life and how many Emilie and Gabriel made for him. Maybe Emilie really wished for a free-willed boy and wanted to watch him grow into whatever he chooses. But we know for a fact that Gabriel and Felix's father are not like that. Everything is a question at this point.

The perfection Marinette fell in love with could have been fabricated. Hundreds of fans have went crazy for 'an image of perfection', how Gabriel called him. We don't know if Adrien truly was obedient and not just made to do things, or even made to be obedient. Maybe his story is yet to begin; in which case you can throw everything you know about Chat Noir into the trashcan.

... I don't know how the creators have handled this. There are so many things that could go wrong in the writing past this point. Not to mention that Adrien's existence will be hanging by a thread - onto the existence of the ring(s), and Felix already has one of them.

It's all just anxiety inducing, and very little pleasure is coming from watching this. But I'm too hooked to what has been to stop because of all the things that might happen.

..... I'm glad I'm not watching this as a young adult or a child. I know for a fact that it would've absolutely traumatized me for life.

[swearwolf-writes]

Merlin: Magic for the Masses

bcs magic isn't evil and this is my personal comfort fic

[CROSSPOSTED ON: AO3]

Season 1

AGES:

MERLIN:17-18

ARTHUR: 20-21

MORGANA: 22-23

GWEN: 17-18 (YOUNGER THAN MERLIN BY MERE MONTHS)

MORDRED: ~10-11

The Dragon’s Call

Valiant

The Mark of Nimue

Gwen finds out Merlin has magic (bcs he somehow knew her father was better) and keeps his secret

The Poisoned Chalice

Gwen sees the scrying lights

Lancelot

A Remedy to Cure All Ills

The Gates of Avalon

Merlin talks to Morgana about her seer abilities and promises to keep her secret

The Beginning of the End

Uses magic to save Mordred

Helps Arthur smuggle Mordred away

Excalibur

The Moment of Truth

The Labyrinth of Gedreth

To Kill the King

Le Morte D’Arthur

6 MONTHS PASS

Season 2

AGES:

MERLIN: 18-19

ARTHUR: 21-22

MORGANA: 23-24

GWEN: 18-19 (A FEW MONTHS YOUNGER THAN MERLIN)

MORDRED: ~11-12

The Curse of Cornelius Sigan

The Once and Future Queen

The Nightmare Begins

Tells Morgana of his own magic and now they’re boys

He can help her to an extent but they both need some help and so want to go to the druids together (bcs she’s got magic and he’s somehow Emrys although she doesn’t know the name yet) but he has his duties with Arthur and so she goes alone

Merlin find her with the druids during the panic in Camelot

They keep each other’s secrets (even if she doesn’t know Merlin is Emrys just yet)

Lancelot and Guinevere

Beauty and the Beast

Arthur sees Merlin with the mirror and asks him how he got the mirror down there without any rope

And voila the moron’s magic is revealed and it is then that he realises Merlin uses his magic to save his butt whoops (but he doesn’t tell Arthur about Morgana’s abilities bcs that’s not his secret to tell) 

But still doesn’t believe Merlin when he mentions that she’s a TROLL

The Witchfinder

Arthur kicked Merlin’s magic book under the bed and says it’s all clear bcs he doesn’t want anyone to be executed bcs no one got hurt with the magic and it was just a bit of fun

Merlin: “We know Aredian set Gaius up and then he’s coming after us-”

Arthur: “Us? Us who?”

Merlin: “I can’t say bcs that’s not my secret to tell”

Arthur: “If you know another sorcerer-”

Merlin: “Then what? What, you’ll execute them?”

Arthur: “I- I mean, no, but-”

Merlin: “But what? If it doesn’t matter with me then why should it matter if anyone has magic?”

The Sins of the Father

Morgana shows Merlin the bracelet Morgause gave her and he can feel the magic in it and lo and behold: she’s a sorceress too

Their mother, Lady Vivienne, was a sorceress and as was Morgause’s father that’s why Morgause was given to the High Priestess of the Old Religion but Uther thought that as Morgana had one non-magic parent, she would not develop abilities (he was wrong)

Merlin tells Arthur it was a lie to stop him killing his father but then reveals the truth once Arthur could not get to Uther and he also reasons that while it was Uther’s fault, no one was to blame as he didn’t know what’d happen (and was too headstrong to listen) and Nimue had no choice but to comply, on pain of death

The Lady of the Lake

Sweet Dreams

The Witch’s Quickening

Morgana tries to tell Merlin the plan but he stops her

Merlin: “I’m the future king’s manservant - plausible deniability is my only saviour right now. I will not aid you nor will I stop you but if I think innocents will get hurt, I will stop you.”

Morgana: “I would expect nothing else.”

Ignores Kilgharrah

Helps Mordred escape safely bcs he was innocent and brainwashed by a fanatic “I will not forget this”

Morgana tells him, after the fact, that she let the fanatic go bcs he just wanted to free magicfolk

They continue their training in private bcs insomnia via dragon

The Fires of Idirsholas

When Morgana sees Gwen sick, she tells Merlin about Morgause as soon as she gets the chance

Merlin tells Morgana about how she’s the source of the curse albeit unknowingly but the only way to save everyone is if she dies but they need to figure out how to save her so she took the hemlock and poisoned herself

It still hurt her bcs yk it’s poison so her telepathic pain was still a thing and Morgause came along and she took her after stopping the curse

The Last Dragonlord

1 YEAR PASSES

Season 3

AGES:

MERLIN: 20-21

ARTHUR: 23-24

MORGANA: 25-26

GWEN: 20-21 (A FEW MONTHS SHY OF MERLIN)

MORDRED: ~13-14

The Tears of Uther Pendragon 1

Merlin is so sorry that she had to poison herself and was so glad she was back

Arthur thinks there’s a thing between them meanwhile Morgana thinks there’s a thing between he and Arthur and Gwen

Morgana knocks the guard out and wipes his recent memories but she’s still not the best at her magic so he was just injured so Morgause spells him from afar to kill him bcs Morgana is not a murder even if she does hate Uther

Morgause: “You should have killed the guard”

Morgana: “I will not be like Uther and kill anyone who irritates me - he was in my way but simply following orders”

Morgause kidnaps Merlin but Morgana asks her not to kill him - he might just be a servant but he’s well-liked and popular - people will notice

The Tears of Uther Pendragon 2

Magic jokes with Arthur yay

Tense Mergana

Morgana: “You know I don’t wanna hurt you but this is to help our people so please don’t get in my way or whatever I have to do, I’ll do it.”

Merlin: “I’d expect nothing less”

More magic jokes with Arthur feat. armour

Morgana and Merlin fight in the crypt and use magic causing the ceiling to cave but Merlin saves her bcs “you’re my friend” but uses magic to break the staff while Morgana runs to safety and takes the credit to keep up appearances 

Morgana: “sorry Merlin but our people come before us and they deserve better”

Merlin: “if that’s the case then why should our legacy to better ourselves begin with the massacre of innocents?”

Morgana: “it may be wrong but what other beginning do we have other than the slaughter of our own people, our women and children? Innocents weren’t supposed to get hurt but that was Cenred’s army not ours - the skeletals were only supposed to attack knights fighting us”

Goblin’s Gold renamed Gnome’s Gold

Gaius: “Gnomes are mischievous but not always dangerous in nature so long as they get what they want: gold. They have often been known as guardians of treasures, of mines and of precious stones.”

Merlin tells Arthur and Morgana about gnome!Gaius (separately)

Gets his butt kicked by Arthur when he sees that Merlin didn’t undo the donkey curse immediately

Merlin: “sorcerer’s magic and gnome magic are two very different things- how was I supposed to know it wouldn’t fully do the trick-”

Gwaine

Arthur: “I could’ve beaten them on my own Merlin, I didn’t need your help-”

Merlin: “well if not mine then certainly Gwaine’s at least-”

Arthur: “shut up, Merlin”

The Crystal Cave

Morgause is the one who was supposed to kill Uther bcs Morgana doesn’t want to kill anyone

Arthur gets her jewellery instead of a knife bcs Merlin actually tells him the prophecy

Morgause fails lmao

When Morgause tries to kill Merlin, she steps in and ends up needing the infirmary so Morgause runs

When Morgana and Merlin find out her lineage, they tell Arthur bcs ‘wtf?? I have a sister? You’re older so ig you’re the heir??’

The Changeling

Merlin tells Gwen and Arthur about lil changeling Elena and they’re like wait he/she knows??

Elena is a respectable thembo by the end of it all

The Castle of Fyrien

Merlin uses magic to light a campfire in front of Morgana, Gwen and Arthur to which again there’s the whole wait you know stuff

Morgana: “and you’re okay with it? After everything Uther says about magic users?”

Arthur: “I know Merlin and he has a good heart even if he is an idiot. And the druid boy wasn’t evil either, he was just a child. Merlin’s shown me that magic isn’t evil but instead just a tool and it’s the person using it incorrectly that should be punished rather than magicfolk as a whole.”

Morgana: “so you disagree with the ban on magic?”

Arthur: “So what if people use magic to do their chores faster? They’re not hurting anyone. It would be like condemning every person who’s ever owned a sword bcs they might hurt someone.”

Morgana: “how long have you known?”

Arthur: “since Father tried to marry a troll”

Morgana: “and you never said anything to anyone?”

Arthur: “it’s not my secret to tell”

She goes back to their side and saves Arthur from Morgause’s fire but it blows back and knocks her over so she wants to make sure her sister’s okay but gets pulled to safety by Merlin

~ later ~

Merlin: “Why did you save Arthur? You could’ve let him die and left Camelot without an heir but you saved him; why?”

Morgana: “bcs he protects you. If he was protecting a knight, I still wouldn’t trust him but you’re just a servant and yet he protects your life and our secret. Arthur is a good man and I don’t want any bloodshed - if we can give our people peace again with Arthur, I will stand by him.”

Merlin: “thank you.”

Morgana: “this does not mean I stand by Uther -  I will still fight against his tyrannous ways every chance I get.”

Merlin: “I’d expect nothing less”

The Eye of the Phoenix

Morgause gives Arthur a bracelet while disguised as an old woman “for good luck on your journey” and Gwen sees her real face in a puddle

Tells Morgana about it and they, along with Gaius, look for some way to counter the spell (and thus Morgana reveals her magic to Gwen)

Love in the Time of Dragons

Merlin doth be a snitch but they believe Alice when she says she has no choice and they try and help her as best as they can (Arthur is a sweetheart to old people (no offence, Alice-))

Queen of Hearts

Morgause tries to break Arthur’s heart and cause the rift between father and son by manipulating a young sorcerer into doing all the stuff that gets Gwen tried for magic

Dragoon and Arthur deal with stuffs but this time, he knows it’s his personal dumbass

Morgana helps with the anti-aging potion for Merlin bcs magic squad!!

The Sorcerer’s Shadow

The Coming of Arthur 1

Sir Leon is made immortal (by accident) by the druids who save him with the Cup of Life

When Morgause finds out Leon lives, she finds out about the Cup

Gwaine catches Merlin trying to heal Arthur and thus finds out about his magic too

Morgause rules with an iron fist and threatens to kill her and everyone else if Morgana doesn’t become queen and her mouthpiece bcs “you betrayed me sister so your life means nothing to me. And these peasants are mere cockroaches - whether they live or die, I don’t care - in fact, if they die, our people could live here in Camelot but regardless, those poor, innocent villagers’ blood will be on your hands, sister. Now, yield.”

The Coming of Arthur 2

Gwen tells everyone of how Morgana is just as much a prisoner as she was

Morgana uses magic to help fight Morgause but hurts her and despite everything “she’s my sister - I abandoned her once, I will not do it again. I will ensure her safety and ours in the process - rule well, brother” and she leaves with her sister using magic

1 YEAR PASSES

Season 4

AGES:

MERLIN: 22-23

ARTHUR: 24-25

MORGANA: 27-28

GWEN: 22-23 (A FEW MONTHS SHY OF MERLIN)

MORDRED: ~15-16

Morgana becomes the High Priestess of the Triple Goddess

The Darkest Hour 1

Kara’s mother, Ealdgyð, was helping Morgause bcs Morgana was forced to leave her when she began attacking her, all faith in her younger sister lost

Morgana was back in Camelot but yk “I couldn’t kill her- she’s still my sister- I’m sorry”

Knowing how much Morgana hated him for the things he did still left Uther crippled, even upon her return

Ealdgyð opened the veil upon Morgause’s death and she, Merlin and Morgana all passed out and saw the vision

Emrys was Morgana’s destiny and Ealdgyð’s doom

Emyrs’ identity is protected from Ealdgyð (and later Kara) by the Triple Goddess bcs they may be followers of the Old Religion but they perverted the peaceful nature of druids and so lost that information which was most valuable to them

Agravaine, being loyal to Morgause, now reports to Ealdgyð and tells her about their plan

Merlin and Morgana both want to be sacrifices to the veil

Merlin: “it’s my destiny to protect Arthur”

Morgana: “but this was my sister’s doing and therefore it is my responsibility to undo”

The Darkest Hour 2

Morgana tries to heal Merlin from the Dorocha but is unable to

Morgana continues on the quest with the knights while Lancelot and Merlin go their own way

Agravain on Ealdgyð’s orders knocks out Gwen bcs she convinced the council to reduce rationing the lower towns

The Wicked Day

Merlin tries to save Uther for Arthur’s sake but Morgana refuses to try

Morgana (to Arthur): “I am sorry you’re losing your father but he literally massacred our people - I will not save him”

Uther still dies but they noticed the pendant and want to find and take Ealdgyð’s head but they don’t know who she is bcs she’s smart

Arthur: “Magic will one day live freely in Camelot once more but not today - it is easier to find one sorcerer among no others than one from hundreds and despite your hatred of the things he did, you must know what this person did was wrong”

Morgana: “find them and bring them to justice, not for practicing sorcery but for committing murder”

Arthur: “of course”

Morgana is all for Arthur being the king bcs she knows after everything with Morgause and Cenred, the people would never accept her as queen but at least this way, her people stood a chance

Aithusa

Arthur doesn’t plan on destroying the egg but doesn’t really care what happens to it so long as Broden is captured

Morgana goes with the knights as magic is her lineage too and they will keep her secret

Merlin tells them of the Druids warnings about the trap bcs knight squad knows the magic squad secret (that they’re ✨magic✨)

He and Morgana witness the birth of Aithusa who immediately takes a liking to Morgana

His Father’s Son

Ealdgyð allies herself with Annis after Caerleon’s death

Morgana hints at Arthur to get Gwen flowers

At this point Morgana is just as strong as Merlin as they train together

A Servant of Two Masters

Ealdgyð takes Merlin

Thinks Dragoon is Emrys

The Secret Sharer

Ealdgyð: “I do this, not out of spite, but to ensure my daughter does not have to live her life as I did, afraid and in hiding”

Lamia

Morgana searches with Arthur and Agravaine

Lancelot du Lac

Ealdgyð will not have some common non-magic child take her throne and title (believes it is rightfully hers as magic is superior and she is the chosen heir of a high priestess (Morgause))

Merlin uses magic freely in front of those who know

Frees Lancelot’s soul but cannot stop Gwen’s banishing bcs Agravaine

A Herald of the New Age

Merlin tells Arthur about the Druid boy and Elyan’s situation but they need to figure something out bcs knowing intimate knowledge of magic wouldn’t help their case

The Hunter’s Heart

Arthur: “Well what am I supposed to do, Merlin? Tell the whole court we’ve been committing high treason for years - they would think us in league with the other sorcerer and take our heads”

Gwen avoids the sorceress smartly bcs she has brain cells

Morgana: “Do you think I’m happy about all this? I’ve been planning their wedding for years - who wouldn’t want their closest friend to become their sister?”

~ while on the hunt ~

Morgana: Wait a minute, you like Mithian-”

Merlin: “what no-”

Morgana: “you’re doing the thing”

Merlin: “what thing? I don’t do a thing.”

Morgana: “yes you do, It’s that thing you do when you think Gwaine isn’t looking”

Merlin: “shut up-”

Morgana: “oh this is gonna be fun”

Arthur calls off the hunt when Merlin tells him the deer is really Gwen but he and Mithian can’t be gone long so he and Morgana help after dark, Merlin being a physician and helping her wounds and Morgana turning her human again

She spills the beans and reveals the sorceress’ name as Ealdgyð and that Agravaine is definitely in league but they had to proof and couldn’t just accuse the king’s uncle especially given that they’re only a servant and an exile

The Sword in the Stone 1

Ealdgyð and Helios attack Camelot on Beltaine

Morgana is captured

Ealdgyð (to Morgana): “You betrayed our people”

The Sword in the Stone 2

Morgana is made to starve “like so many of our own have bcs of your precious family”

Ealdgyð: “You, Arthur Pendragon, are in fact worse than your father. You pretend to be a man of peace while upholding an unlawful law that has killed countless women and children”

Aithusa stays with Morgana but Ealdgyð is saved by random folks who think her simply a lost, hurt woman

3 YEARS PASS

Season 5

AGES:

MERLIN: 26-27

ARTHUR: 28-29

MORGANA: 31-32

GWEN: 26-27 (A FEW MONTHS YOUNGER THAN MERLIN)

MORDRED: ~19-20

Arthur’s Bane 1

Mordred is on Ealdgyð’s side bcs she’s Kara’s mother (eventually realises she’s wrong bcs what kind of mother drags her child into war)

Morgana and Aithusa stay with Gwen to help protect the castle bcs “the knights already have a sorcerer - if something happens here, Gods forbid it, you will need someone”

Merlin tells Arthur of the seer’s vision to which he reminds the young warlock that Morgana was supposed to also be their fate and yet she was saved and so will the boy be

The group is captured by Ealdgyð and here we meet Mordred

Arthur’s Bane 2

Mordred tries to get food to Merlin and Arthur but cannot ‘sorry, Emrys’

‘I said I would not forget what you did for me and I meant it’ and so Mordred tells him about the Diamair

They fight the Saxons with Mordred secretly helping them escape

Merlin: ‘thank you Mordred’

Mordred: ‘just returning the favour’

Merlin is attacked by a druid Saxon who he knocks out

~ confrontation time ~

Arthur: “We want to help you, Ealdgyð, but when you attack and enslave our people, it doesn’t exactly give us much confidence in you.”

Ealdgyð: “Liar! You force Morgana to hide away and to forget who she truly is-”

Arthur: “Actually she’s at the castle protecting everyone bcs we know that magic isn’t evil but your hatred, Ealdgyð, has made you evil.”

Ealdgyð: “If you are so good and kind, why do you not lift the ban on our people?”

Arthur: “Finding one sorcerer, you, amongst few is much easier than finding you amongst countless others. We have not persecuted any magic users since my coronation - the law is just there in name and once you are gone, it will be removed once and for all.”

Ealdgyð: “So you think killing me will make our people love you?”

Arthur: “I don’t want their love, only their forgiveness but you killed the king and that is high treason, regardless of magic.”

Mordred stabs Ealdgyð when he hears their conversation bcs o hey she’s nuts and yk he’s not evil :)

~ later ~

Merlin: “Actually, Arthur, Gwen and some of the knights know I have magic.”

Mordred: “When did he know?”

Merlin: “A couple of months after you and I first met. It’s actually quite a funny story-”

Arthur: “Merlin, shut up-”

Merlin: ‘I’ll tell you later.’

Mordred calls Merlin Emrys around Morgana and she’s like eh?? and he’s like yeah, druids call him Emrys and she remembers the prophecy but keeps her mouth shut bcs ‘wtf? My destiny?? lol no’

The Death Song of Uther Pendragon

Morgana does not join the pair even tho she was his ward bcs Uther was Uther ew

~ before blowing the horn ~

Arthur: “If something goes wrong, you can help, right?”

Merlin: “Maybe. But magic involving the dead isn’t something I typically deal with.”

~ during the crazy shite ~

Arthur: “Are you certain?”

Merlin: “What else could’ve escaped the horn but the person summoned by it?”

Arthur: “I refuse to believe that my father’s ghost somehow attacked a knight”

‘Poetry’ is still a thing bcs Arthur didn’t want to tarnish his father’s respect name but wtv

He spills the beans to his dad that he knows of Merlin’s magic and that if it wasn’t for him and Morgana, everyone would probably be dead so fuck off :D

Another’s Sorrow

Ealdgyð disguises herself as Hilda

Mithian and Merlin and Morgana flirt bcs they’re bi nightmares, or yk, bi-ghtmares

Plus more flirting between Merlin and Gwaine ft. panicked bi!Merlin

Morgana goes with Mithian and Arthur upon Merlin’s injury and fights Ealdgyð

Morgana: “3 of us and one of her, I like our chances”

Merlin: “But she’s growing stronger fast”

Mordred: “and so long as we keep studying and training, we’ll still be stronger”

Merlin teaches Mordred and Morgana physician stuff bcs bonding

The Disir

~ training montage ~

Arthur: “Next time try combining your sword skills with your magic”

Mordred: “but that’s not a fair fight-”

Arthur: “you’re a druid. Magic is the first tool you were born with and it’s our birthright to use it. Plus in a war, magic will help us”

Merlin still worries whether he’s too young to be out fighting with the rest of em

Arthur: “he’s a sorcerer - he has an inbuilt defence system regardless of whether he has his sword. He’ll be fine - and honestly, Merlin, you’re not his wetnurse or his mother.”

Merlin: “prat-”

Arthur: “what was that?”

Merlin: “I called you a prat, my lord”

Arthur: “I will not bow to the Triple Goddess for I do not follow her. But please, my friend is a sorcerer, a druid and a follower of the Old Religion. He is innocent. Spare him, please.”

Mordred is spared bcs they were impressed Arthur would risk their wrath but bcs he didn’t bow to them, his fate is still sealed

The Dark Tower

Ealdgyð kidnaps Gwen

Merlin, Mordred and Morgana do cooperative magic to try and find Gwen but to no avail

So they all go to the Dark Tower together f is for friends who do stuff together, u is you and me-

They use magic and swords to hack at the overgrowth but again, to no avail

He tells them all of Queen Mab and leads the way

Morgana saves the falling Merlin from impaling himself on the sword

~ psychological torture time ~

Ealdgyð: “My sweet child, you know Camelot is doomed if Arthur and Morgana are to rule. Arthur longs for the old ways and the security of his father while Morgana wants a magical revolution. They will tear the city apart in their wars and countless will die.”

Gwen: No, no, that’s wrong- you’re lying-”

Ealdgyð: “And yet you know I am right bcs if Arthur was not still waging his war against magic, I would be safely with my daughter but instead she is made parentless by the Pendragons and if Arthur is to continue having his way, my daughter will be made an orphan.”

Succumbs to Ealdgyð

Elyan still died unfortunately

A Lesson in Vengeance

Merlin uses magic subtly to save Arthur so Gwen doesn’t notice

The knights arrest Merlin for sorcery even tho they know he wouldn’t do it bcs who else could have

He still doesn’t tell Arthur about Gwen’s brainwashing bcs to accuse the Queen is a serious accusation

The Hollow Queen

Gaius tells Arthur the truth about Merlin going to save the young girl in the Valley of The Fallen Kings instead of the usual tavern business

(flashback) Sarrum took Kara hostage and forced Ealdgyð to comply for her sake and they were kept separately for the two years, only getting to see each other for mere moments

Merlin reveals to Daegal that Arthur knows of his magic and one day, magic will be commonplace in Camelot once more

Morgana agrees with Arthur that Merlin hasn’t got a girlfriend but Gwen teases her and asks if she’s jealous

Morgana: “of course not- in fact, I’m happy for him” but yk she’s lowkey jelly

With All My Heart

The Triple Goddess responds best to women so he (disguised as the Dolma (who is a pretty young lady might I add), not that it mattered bcs he’s is a he/she/they enby and I stand by that) and Morgana summoned the Triple Goddess (thank fuck that Morgana is Her High Priestess)

Morgana, Merlin, Mordred (having saved them mid-journey and then joined them), Aithusa and Arthur take Gwen to the Cauldron of Arianrhod

Mordred stays behind to try and cover their tracks, physically and magically, but is caught by Kara

Kara: “why do you stand behind someone who kills our people?”

Mordred: “Arthur has never killed any of us-”

Kara: “he stands by the law that put me and my mother through two years of hell! He is evil and if you cannot see that, you are not the Mordred I once knew and loved.”

Mordred: “Kara, please-”

Kara: “no-”

Mordred: “Kara, he knows! He knows about my gifts and he has not once even scorned for using them. The ban on magic is only up because we need to stop Ealdgyð from killing everyone-”

Kara: “why do you immediately forsake my mother? She is the only reason I am still alive, no thanks to you. The Pendragons are the reasons why we have been running for our lives our entire lives. And they are the reason why countless more children will never reach their truest potential and will never know who they truly are. Yet you still blame my mother who has done nothing but protect our people-!”

Mordred: “Your mother was going to kill everyone in Camelot just to spite Morgana! I still believe in the cause, Kara, but I do not believe in her and her ways!”

Kara: “We are druids and magic is our birthright!”

Mordred: “And druids are a peaceful people but Ealdgyð? She perverted our ways and has used the darkest magics, hurt countless people and all bcs she wants the throne. I will not join her so please, for the love of the Gods, don’t make me fight you Kara.”

Kara: “Tell us, tell me, who Emrys is and we won’t have to.”

Mordred: “Never.” *knocks her out w/ magic* “Forgive me, my love.”

The Kindness of Strangers

Ealdgyð thinks Alator a traitor for supporting the mighty Emrys who refuses to help their people in their time of need and so the torture begins

Merlin still doesn’t tell Arthur about the Alator-and-Finna-of-the-Catha situation bcs he’s busy yk and so tells Morgana and Mordred bcs it’s magic stuff so it’s their business too

He and Morgana go to find Finna

Merlin still attacked but Morgana stays with Finna and fights Ealdgyð and Finna is saved and on their side (bcs she is a Bendrui and they stand by Emrys, always)

The Drawing of the Dark

Mordred tells them it was Kara not some deer but still let her go

~ Later ~ 

Merlin: “why didn’t you stop her?”

Mordred: “how could I have?”

Morgana: “your magic is strong”

Mordred: “if you caught the love of your life after she killed someone, would you want to turn her in?”

Merlin: “you said it yourself, she killed someone”

Mordred: “she’s never wanted to hurt anyone. She only does this for her mother”

Morgana: “do you think she’d hurt her if she disobeyed?”

Mordred: “think about it this way: she practically raised me, called me her son in every way but blood and yet she now wants my head on a pike almost as much as she wants yours”

Arthur and Mordred patrol together (bcs they’re knights) w/ Merlin (bcs he’s Arthur’s) and find Kara and Mordred is shooketh at how bloodthirsty Kara has become

She is much confused when Merlin deflect the knife magically and he uses magic to bind her in front of them and no one bats an eye bcs she fr thought Mordred was bullshitting about Arthur being chill with it

She tries to kill Arthur again and does not take the chances he kept giving her for Mordred’s sake

Kara: “why do you continue trying to help me? You, who puts our kind through hell everyday.”

Arthur: “I want to make things better for all our peoples including you and yours but that cannot happen while your mother continues to attack, plague and kill our people, innocent people.”

Kara: “you’re lying - my mother would never hurt innocents”

Mordred: “we can show you”

Kara: “how?”

Mordred: “we were at the battle - you know the memory retrieval spell?”

Kara: “of course”

*le spell*

Kara: “that can’t be right- this must be some trick-”

Mordred: “Kara, look at me, look at me. You know me and you know I would never trick you like this. We did the spell together, out loud, and you can hear my thoughts so listen now. I did not trick you and we are not lying to you”

Kara: *crumples* “then the people I’ve hurt, the people I’ve killed-”

Arthur: “you were simply following orders, trying to make your parent proud; I know what that’s like. You are not to blame and you can save so many others if you only help us. Please.”

Kara: “to hear a king say please is a strange thing indeed.”

She comes back to the light

Magic squad is weirdly big considering the laws at this point but Camelot needs all the help they can get

Ealdgyð realises Merlin has magic bcs of the miraculous things that happen around Arthur and yk it’s too much to be just some coincidence plus she was keeping an eye on her daughter and saw Merlin deflect the knife and he is what keeps the magic squad together and she can only use the Gean Canach very few times bcs ‘tis rare

The Diamond of the Day 1

Merlin tells the knight squad and magic squad about his loss of powers and that he’s gonna go get them back somehow

Kara snitches that Eira is a spy for Ealdgyð and she gets dungeon time

Merlin, Gwaine and Finna go to the Valley of the Fallen Kings while Mordred, Kara and Morgana stay behind and protect Queen and kingdom

Ealdgyð knows Merlin will go the Crystal Cave to regain his powers

Gwaine stands guard at the cave mouth while Finna and Merlin go in but Finna has to stop and stay with Gwaine after a moment

Merlin: “this is a journey I must make on my own”

Gwaine: “could’ve told us that before we came out into the woods with you”

Merlin: “you’d have come with me anyways”

Gwaine: “yeah, you’re probably right”

Ealdgyð leaves after Gwaine sleeps with invisibility and silencing spells on to mask herself from Finna (who’s on watch at that point)

The Diamond of the Day 2

Merlin comes along looking like himself instead of Dragoon bcs there was no time to waste on disguises

The magic squad are beating Ealdgyð bcs yk there’s: Emrys, the High Priestess of the Triple Goddess, a Bendrui priestess and two highly skilled druids against Saesons

Merlin beats Ealdgyð and before she dies, Kara and Mordred get to say goodbye

Ealdgyð: “I’m sorry it came to this- all I ever wanted was a better life for you both and instead I dragged you into a war”

Kara: “we understand and we’re sorry too - we should’ve at least tried peace”

Ealdgyð: “that’s my fault”

Mordred: “and it’s our too. We could have insisted on it but we just blindly followed instead of talking to you”

Ealdgyð: “I’m so sorry my boy”

Kara: “rest easy, mother. Magic is returning to Camelot and we will be free once more”

Mordred: “goodbye Ealdgyð”

Post Battle-of-Camlann

Arthur (29) repeals the ban on magic

Kara (22) is formally pardoned bcs of her role in the Battle of Camlann bcs she saved Arthur’s life

Merlin (27) is Court Physician first and Court Sorcerer secondly after Gaius retires bcs mans is old af and Finna is Court Sorceress (and she still studies under him)

Alice returns and she and Gaius finally marry

1 year post Battle of Camlann

Arthur (30) and Gwen (28) have a daughter, Avlyn Pendragon, 1 year post-Battle-of-Camlann

Takes a year for Morgana (33) and Merlin (28) to finally get together and start courting

2 years post Battle of Camlann

Kara (23) and Mordred (22) marry

4 years post Battle of Camlann

Arthur (33) and Gwen (31) have a son, Cadwr Pendragon, 4 years post-Battle-of-Camlann (Avlyn (3))

Gwaine (33) and Percival (31) marry and we’re gonna pretend homophobia ain’t a thing bcs this is a comfort fic not a whump fic

Leon (37) starts courting Mithian (31) (idk y but they fit really well for some reason imo) and married after 6 months

5 years post Battle of Camlann

Merlin (32) and Morgana (37) marry and Hunith is very happy for them

Merlin (32) and Morgana (37) have twins, Morfydd and Ywaine

[blveblood]

@anderson-residence​ said: "Connor! Do you know my Daddy? Not Mr. Hank! He's my Dad sure buuut I meant my other Daddy! His name is Mr. Sixty! He looks just like you! I guess you must be the same model? That's cool!" - Mayson

There is a pause, the silence engulfing them heavy and uncomfortable, confusion and SHOCK lingering in the air as Connor evaluates the YK’s words. Another RK model? Oh, and not just any RK model, one of the few CyberLife had set aside in case the shell Connor currently inhabited would have been destroyed, one left as a blank slate after the revolution, doomed to fend for themselves, all alone in the world, lost and scared.

As much as Connor had been barely able to look the others in the eye as he set the androids inside the CyberLife tower free, he had been rather pleased to know Markus and what remained of Jericho back in the day, had most likely taken them in, providing them with proper care and explaining the strange new world they got to live in to them in great detail.

Oh, but it wasn’t one of them who Mayson mentioned as his secondary caretaker - it was NUMBER 60. The same android set on intercepting Connor at the tower, on destroying him to protect the very people who created him, the ones who never CARED about him in the first place, who never had been more for them than a tool, a means to an end.

The one Hank had successfully taken out, back the the tower’s basement. And now he was... BACK?

And not just that; he had managed to work his way close to Mayson, to teach the YK unit to CARE for him, to some degree. Truly, a troubling set of news that Connor had just had the displeasure to receive.

“Mayson-“ A calm smile lingers on his features as he kneels down next to the young android, as his mind races a thousand miles and hour and his stress levels begin rising steadily.

“I’m sure he is quite nice. Can you tell me where you met him? And how long ago?“ How much time had passed since 60 began worming his way into Mayson’s little heart? How long had it taken Connor to even realise something was WRONG in the first place?

How in the world had 60 even made his way back? How was he still alive? Had some unfortunate android associated with Jericho thought of him as just another allied RK model and, as such, provided him with the help required for the NEW Deviant Hunter to come back alive, for his systems to reboot, for him to begin pursuing his original purpose once again?

How long had Connor been OBLIVIOUS to all of this? How long would it have taken him to notice something was wrong, had Mayson not brought the topic up himself?

“I would very much like to meet him, one day. Do you think that could be arranged?“

🌹 [ unprompted ]

[nancydsmithus]

A Re-Introduction To Destructuring Assignment

A Re-Introduction To Destructuring Assignment

Laurie Barth

2019-09-12T14:00:59+02:002019-09-12T12:47:13+00:00

If you write JavaScript you’re likely familiar with ES2015 and all the new language standards that were introduced. One such standard that has seen incredible popularity is destructuring assignment. The ability to “dive into” an array or object and reference something inside of it more directly. It usually goes something like this.

const response = { status: 200 data: {} } // instead of response.data we get... const {data} = response //now data references the data object directly const objectList = [ { key: 'value' }, { key: 'value' }, { key: 'value' } ] // instead of objectList[0], objectList[1], etc we get... const [obj, obj1, obj2] = objectList // now each object can be referenced directly

However, destructuring assignment is such a powerful piece of syntax that many developers, even those who have been using it since it was first released, forget some of the things it can do. In this post, we’ll go through five real-world examples for both object and array destructuring, sometimes both! And just for fun, I’ll include a wonky example I came across just the other day.

1. Nested Destructuring

Being able to access a top-level key inside an object, or the first element of an array is powerful, but it’s also somewhat limiting. It only removes one level of complexity and we still end up with a series of dots or [0] references to access what we’re really after.

As it turns out, destructuring can work beyond the top level. And there can be valid reasons for doing so. Take this example of an object response from an HTTP request. We want to go beyond the data object and access just the user. So long as we know the keys we’re looking for, that isn’t a problem.

const response = { status: 200, data: { user: { name: 'Rachel', title: 'Editor in Chief' }, account: {}, company: 'Smashing Magazine' } } const {data: {user}} = response // user is { name: 'Rachel', title: 'Editor in Chief'}

The same can be done with nested arrays. In this case, you don’t need to know the key since there is none. What you need to know is the position of what you’re looking for. You’ll need to provide a reference variable (or comma placeholder) for each element up and until the one you’re looking for (we’ll get to that later). The variable can be named anything since it is not attempting to match a value inside the array.

const smashingContributors = [['rachel', ['writer', 'editor', 'reader']], ['laurie', ['writer', 'reader']]] const [[rachel, roles]] = smashingContributors // rachel is 'rachel' // roles is [ 'writer', 'editor', 'reader' ]

Keep in mind that these features should be used judiciously, as with any tool. Recognize your use case and the audience of your code base. Consider readability and ease of change down the road. For example, if you’re looking to access a subarray only, perhaps a map would be a better fit.

2. Object And Array Destructuring

Objects and arrays are common data structures. So common, in fact, that one often appears inside the other. Beyond nested destructuring, we can access nested properties even if they are in a different type of data structure than the external one we’re accessing.

Take this example of an array inside an object.

const organization = { users: ['rachel', 'laurie', 'eric', 'suzanne'], name: 'Smashing Magazine', site: 'https://www.smashingmagazine.com/' } const {users:[rachel]} = organization // rachel is 'rachel'

The opposite use case is also valid. An array of objects.

const users = [{name: 'rachel', title: 'editor'}, {name: 'laurie', title: 'contributor'}] const [{name}] = users // name is 'rachel'

As it turns out, we have a bit of a problem in this example. We can only access the name of the first user; otherwise, we’ll attempt to use ‘name’ to reference two different strings, which is invalid. Our next destructuring scenario should sort this out.

3. Aliases

As we saw in the above example (when we have repeating keys inside different objects that we want to pull out), we can’t do so in the “typical” way. Variable names can’t repeat within the same scope (that’s the simplest way of explaining it, it’s obviously more complicated than that).

const users = [{name: 'rachel', title: 'editor'}, {name: 'laurie', title: 'contributor'}] const [{name: rachel}, {name: laurie}] = users // rachel is 'rachel' and laurie is 'laurie'

Aliasing is only applicable to objects. That’s because arrays can use any variable name the developer chooses, instead of having to match an existing object key.

4. Default Values

Destructuring often assumes that the value it’s referencing is there, but what if it isn’t? It’s never pleasant to litter code with undefined values. That’s when default values come in handy.

Let’s look at how they work for objects.

const user = {name: 'Luke', organization: 'Acme Publishing'} const {name='Brian', role='publisher'} = user // name is Luke // role is publisher

If the referenced key already has a value, the default is ignored. If the key does not exist in the object, then the default is used.

We can do something similar for arrays.

const roleCounts = [2] const [editors = 1, contributors = 100] = roleCounts // editors is 2 // contributors is 100

As with the objects example, if the value exists then the default is ignored. Looking at the above example you may notice that we’re destructuring more elements than exist in the array. What about destructuring fewer elements?

5. Ignoring Values

One of the best parts of destructuring is that it allows you to access values that are part of a larger data structure. This includes isolating those values and ignoring the rest of the content, if you so choose.

We actually saw an example of this earlier, but let’s isolate the concept we’re talking about.

const user = {name: 'Luke', organization: 'Acme Publishing'} const {name} = user // name is Luke

In this example, we never destructure organization and that’s perfectly ok. It’s still available for reference inside the user object, like so.

user.organization

For arrays, there are actually two ways to “ignore” elements. In the objects example we’re specifically referencing internal values by using the associated key name. When arrays are destructured, the variable name is assigned by position. Let’s start with ignoring elements at the end of the array.

const roleCounts = [2, 100, 100000] const [editors, contributors] = roleCounts // editors is 2 // contributors is 100

We destructure the first and second elements in the array and the rest are irrelevant. But how about later elements? If it’s position based, don’t we have to destructure each element up until we hit the one we want?

As it turns out, we do not. Instead, we use commas to imply the existence of those elements, but without reference variables they’re ignored.

const roleCounts = [2, 100, 100000] const [, contributors, readers] = roleCounts // contributors is 100 // readers is 100000

And we can do both at the same time. Skipping elements wherever we want by using the comma placeholder. And again, as with the object example, the “ignored” elements are still available for reference within the roleCounts array.

Wonky Example

The power and versatility of destructuring also means you can do some truly bizarre things. Whether they’ll come in handy or not is hard to say, but worth knowing it’s an option!

One such example is that you can use destructuring to make shallow copies.

const obj = {key: 'value', arr: [1,2,3,4]} const {arr, arr: copy} = obj // arr and copy are both [1,2,3,4]

Another thing destructuring can be used for is dereferencing.

const obj = {node: {example: 'thing'}} const {node, node: {example}} = obj // node is { example: 'thing' } // example is 'thing'

As always, readability is of the utmost importance and all of these examples should be used judicially. But knowing all of your options helps you pick the best one.

Conclusion

JavaScript is full of complex objects and arrays. Whether it’s the response from an HTTP request, or static data sets, being able to access the embedded content efficiently is important. Using destructuring assignment is a great way to do that. It not only handles multiple levels of nesting, but it allows for focused access and provides defaults in the case of undefined references.

Even if you’ve used destructuring for years, there are so many details hidden in the spec. I hope that this article acted as a reminder of the tools the language gives you. Next time you’re writing code, maybe one of them will come in handy!

(dm, yk, il)

[enkisstories]

The android cemetery (Chapter 18)

Viewed from the outside the apartment complex seemed to consist of window next to window and nothing else, long rows of glass held together by faith. Enabling people to live sheltered from the elements while still basking in the light - it really was a miracle of modern architecture (and materials). Alas, humanity! Behind all those high tech windows the humans were still the same old monkeys: mostly dissatisfied with everything, but easily distracted by sex. That was true as well for those not of the homo sapiens, but of the automaton deviansis variant.

It wasn’t the best afternoon for any of the three inhabitants of an apartment in the third row from the top. Daniel had continually scolded and insulted their new YK600 up to the point where even Gavin had to open Urban Dictionary in secret to learn what exactly was communicated. The man had laughed about the phrase for a good two minutes, before it had sunk in that his partner’s behavior was rather strange. Gavin had been under the impression that Daniel enjoyed caring for kids in general, not just Emma. He had done well babysitting Damian Miller, eventually won over the kids in Brindleton Bay and established a good rapport with Alice on the Adeline. So what had gotten the android so damn riled up against Evelyn-formerly-Turner? If anything, Gavin had expected the two to gang up against him, resulting in yet another shouting argument like the day before. Shouting was what they knew how to deal with, what they were used to. This development, however, was unexpected, irritating and therefore vaguely threatening. Damn androids! Gavin Reed concluded. If there was such a thing as souls, Daniel’s for sure had the worst direction sense of them all, entering an android body instead of a baby like a sensible transcendental apparition would have done! Now they had to live with the consequences.

Gavin put aside the tablet. Lazing on the couch he reached for a toy fishing rod that he proceeded to move around for Thor and Loki while his thoughts were elsewhere. Meanwhile in the kitchen Daniel seemed to have changed his tactics. He was now trying to pile work on Evelyn to get her out of his way. Only it didn’t go so well…

“You do not have the right to tell me anything!” the YK600 screeched. “You are only Mr. Reed’s android!”

“I’m not!” Daniel barked back. “Well, I am, sort of. In the same way he is my human. But not the way you think.”

“Shut up!” Lyn demanded. “And don’t try to give me any more orders, because if you do, then I…. I… Then I’m telling!!!”

“Oh? Think Gavin will take your side?! You little…”

There was a moment’s silence, then Daniel came storming out of the kitchen. Thor went into the air with all fours, hissed and ran in circles. Loki stopped mid-movement and looked at his two-legged “mama”, his soulful, eternally blue Ragdoll eyes full of questions. Daniel hunkered down. At first he was just crouching there, then he carefully extended a hand towards the cat. “Hey… hey, furball… Don’t be afraid, please. It’s still me.” Gavin noticed that the old gentleness had returned to his partner’s voice. That and the fear of having destroyed something precious in a moment of loss of control again. Loki gave Daniel’s hand a quick rub with his head, then retreated upstairs.

“Phew”, the android commented the absolution he had just received. The next moment he felt himself pulled on the couch by Gavin.

“This is getting out of hand”, Daniel said while leaning into his partner’s embrace. “We need to… Can you reach my phone?”

“Here. Do you want to call the Andersons? They’ll have a good laugh at our expense, but I doubt the suckers will help.”

“Nah. The ones who dropped that shit on us in the first place will have to solve it.”

“The Turners…?” Gavin started to ask, but Daniel had shushed him. The human swallowed the wrong way and coughed when he heard whom exactly the PL600 was calling:

“Hello? CyberLife customer service?”

“Cyber, cough, Life?!”

“We purchased a pre-owned YK600 as a gift for friends yesterday”, Daniel claimed. “Problem is, now it attempts to bond to us. It already acts as if my husband was its father! So what do we do now?”

The answer, although spot-on, wasn’t especially helpful: “The YK device needs to get reset by the new owner. You can do that yourself if you have the manual. If you do not feel comfortable with computers that’s not a problem at all. You can bring the android over and our shop personnel will gladly reset it for you.”

“Uh, thanks, but… we need to keep the YK600 a few days longer before the… our friends’ anniversary party…”

“I see. In this case just shut it down if it becomes a problem. The CyberLife smartphone app can do that, otherwise the de- and reactivation codes should be in the receipt of purchase.”

“Yes. Yes, we have the codes. Thank you…”

Daniel hung up.

“Words of reason from a human”, he sighed. “That’s something rare. I should rejoice. But I cannot bring myself to do what she suggested.”

“Shall I…?”

Daniel shook his head. He just leaned on, half sitting, half lying, outwardly comfortable, while struggling with something.

“Hey… hey, there, slide-rule… What’s the matter? You came storming in here as if chased by Connor in a full body polar bear suit.”

“I nearly hit Evelyn in the kitchen. I already had my hand raised.”

“So what?”

Daniel shrugged. “You wouldn’t understand why that is bad. Your parents never… or did they?”

No, the Reed couple had never slapped their son into the face. Jim and Dorothy hadn’t been opposed to violence in the broadest sense, such as a sharp smack on their kid’s way too thieving fingers now and then. But never anything that could be perceived as humiliating by their son. Life in general had made sure that little Gavin didn’t have to miss out on that experience.

“No, never.” Gavin confirmed, then added: “Although in one of her withdrawal episodes mom threatened to turn me in to one Captain Barnet. Does that count?”

“Hahaha!” The industrial background sound was still there, Gavin noticed, but Daniel’s laughter sounded far more natural than it had when they had met first or in Brindleton Bay.

Sweet deviant, I made sure had plenty occasion to practice since then.

“Thanks for cheering me up”, Daniel said. “Bottomline is, I know how it feels to be at the receiving end of degrading acts. And I almost did that to Evelyn in the kitchen just now. That’s why I was so shocked.”

“Uh-huh.”

There was nothing else to say, nothing to defend or justify and least of all parenting principles to discuss. Daniel was like that. He rarely tried to sway others, especially not a human, to his position in any given dilemma. Instead the android would shrug, say “that’s not how I do things”, maybe punch the other party once or twice, and afterwards make sure things were done his way. What you felt about that didn’t matter. Just doing things his way long enough for it to become a habit was good enough. It was one of the reasons why Daniel didn’t go along too well with the more preachy Markus and his followers.

“There’s something I never told you, or anybody for that matter”, the android broke Gavin’s train of thought. “You know how back when I was new at the DPD we didn’t laugh together. Instead you laughed me down.”

Accusation? After all this time? Worse, after he had just tried to lighten his partner’s mind load? That didn’t sit well with Gavin, so he shot back: “So what? You insulted me all the time!”

Instead of getting angry now, Daniel flicked his fingers and laughed again.

“Yes, exactly! And you punched me in the guts in retaliation while I couldn’t return the violence.”

The beatings, getting his face dunked into puddles or Gavin’s favorite when it came to “showing androids their place” – poking them into the LED… all the anger and helplessness… It had been far, far more than Daniel of all people had been able to contain. Unable to feed the detective his own medicine the deviant had instead channeled his newfound creativity into pranking the co-worker. Many a day Gavin had found himself soaked through, with a belly ache or utterly humiliated after having walked right into one of the traps the janitor had set for him. Except that one day when Captain Fowler had accidently picked up a laxative spiced snack intended for Gavin and the blame had for some reason fallen on Hank. That had been fun.

“The thing is, I refuse to forget this time as if it never happened”, Daniel said.

“You’re still mad…?”

“No, to the contrary! I mean, I’d be mad if you tried something like it now and you probably wouldn’t survive it. Back in ’39 your bullying was exactly what I needed.”

“You mean as deserved punishment for your deeds? No, wait, that’s not it. You do not swing that way. Okay, I admit you’ve lost me there. What am I missing?”

“Hatred, Gavin. Active rejection. To the Phillips I was nothing more than a tool. Caroline routinely switched me off as punishment for Emma. I got treated like an object. To the contrary YOU only ever TOLD me and Connor that we were things, while in practice treating us the same as your human victims.”

Gavin might have casually elbowed Connor whenever they the met in the floor, but he did that to a lot of people and often without thinking. Daniel instead had on occasion swiped the duster across Connor’s face when he had returned from an investigation, like one did with a piece of furniture. The RK couldn’t even protest lest he’d given himself away as a deviant. And it had made Gavin smile that cute rodent smile of his, so win-win.

“See, Gavin” Daniel went on, “Captain Fowler sometimes calls us his kindergarten, and he isn’t that far off. You gave me a taste of what middle school is like!”

A childhood, the deviant thought. Captain Anderson had provided the safe space for him and Connor to grow up in. And there was more: As Emma’s caretaker Daniel’s task had been to help raise the child into a successful, well-adjusted person. Daniel had accepted that as how things went in the real world. Then he had met the DPD officers, who were… everything but well adjusted. And yet they were getting from one day to the next despite their flaws, even getting results. The experience had been relieving in more than way to Daniel. Here was a dysfunctionally- functioning team that went as far as drawing guns on each other while working on a case. And Hank had outright shot down Connor to prove a point one night. Daniel hadn’t been awake again during either encounter, but been present at several similar ones. All those little scenes had shown him that one could act incredibly stupid and make the worst mistakes, yet life somehow went on and in the end things worked out more often than not. Blunders could get sailed over, their results mitigated. Almost nothing constituted the end of the world. Even if you mis-stepped as badly as Daniel had.

“I was like a kid away from home for the first time, free to be myself instead of having to strive to be the good boy”, the deviant explained. “Things would work out somehow, because they did for the rest of you, too.”

“I still understand only half of that at best, but I see you are happy. Are you…?”

“Yes. I cherish our shared memories, us being together now... everything!”

For the span of a few breaths they just hugged. No words, no thoughts and no lower parts stirring. It was a little sofa nirvana.

Eventually Daniel spoke up again: “Can you do me a favor?”

“Depends…”

“That wasn’t an actual question, you know!”

“Ah.”

“Would you do an extra shift or watch a movie with Tina while I guard the little toad? Anything to be away from the apartment for a while?”

Gavin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Of course he had wanted to sneak away, had even come close to really doing so a few times today. But Daniel explicitly asking him to do it? What was going on here?

“See, Evelyn’s not just programmed to behave like a human child, but the perfect child.” Daniel had checked her manual online and it had creeped him out more than some of the crime scene reports he had copied in his time as a police auxiliary. “This model can get tailored to the owner’s idea of what a child should be like. There’s dlc for misbehavior, irrational fears and even common childhood diseases. But the most important selling point is that an YK android will love you more than a human child. CyberLife just now confirmed it on the phone. As the only human around, Lyn will inevitably bond to you, because that’s what her code tells her.”

When Gavin went “Eeeek” at that like a small rodent, Daniel grinned.

“What the fuck! I’ll be out of here faster than you can say... whatever. Bye!”

Gavin grabbed his jacket, the car keys and the shoes and was out in the floor in record time. He wasn’t slowing down the few steps it took to reach the elevator, either. But when the cabin descended to the ground, the man remembered that he still didn’t know what had caused Daniel to turn so hostile towards the child android in the first place. What had the fucking thing said or done?!