These Torygraph headlines had me in stitches. The UK just voted in a centrist party in a landslide and the right wing media are shitting bricks. At least one of these articles talks about Keir Starmer's left wing Stormtroopers and a left wing monostate. I'm now wondering if one or both were satire... Nope. Reliably informed they weren't satire.
[ID: a screenshot of the website of the UK newspaper The Telegraph. It shows two headlines by Allister Heath with a photo of him looking like he's squinting in the sun.
The UK is about to enter a nightmare much darker than anyone yet realises
Armageddon is upon us, and Britain will never be the same again
End ID]
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Even Torygraph has turned on Croydon's U-turning Tory Mayor
Our transport correspondent, JEREMY CLACKSON, reports on how national publications are wising up to part-time Perry’s hypocrisy and lies
It’s a sign: Piss-poor Perry’s been outed as a liar by the Tories’ in-house newspaper
Tory Jason Perry, Croydon’s £82,000 per year part-time Mayor, has today come under attack from the unlikeliest of sources: the Sunday Torygraph, regarded as the Conservative…
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Not sure how you could interpret this information as landlords being the ones facing a crisis, but go off.
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Lewis Hamilton is given to superlatives; with him it is always the best or worst of times. The best qualifying session he has ever had, the most delicious cuisine he has ever tasted, the worst weekend of his life.
After taking a quite brilliant victory at Sunday’s German Grand Prix — in which he started second, led by the first corner, barely put a wheel out of place and yet still had to produce a number of daring overtaking manoeuvres to secure his prize — no one was quibbling with Hamilton’s assessment that this was “as perfect” a race as he has ever produced.
It was breathtaking.
The Telegraph forgetting itself on the occasion of Lewis Hamilton's 16th F1 race victory, Nurburgring 2011
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Who could could have foreseen cutting off your biggest trading partner is bad for economy!
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considering ben's irl russian-spy-infiltrating-germany-then-switching-to-mi6 grandad, i have always headcanoned q as being the child of a soviet asset who was turned by mi6. that's why he's so young (by mi6 standards) - because he's been on their radar since he was little. maybe he started out hacking into the kremlin and fucking with them out of petty teenage spite as revenge for them threatening his family or something? idk. but either way, m felt it was better to have him in the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in. he's been there so long he's part of the furniture now, even though to outsiders he's way too young and impulsive to be a branch head. (he still fucks with the kremlin's firewalls during downtime, but what mallory doesn't know can't hurt him)
It's Meta Monday!
Ahh, there's a link I've never made before! Gosh, I'd love to read a fic involving that storyline.
Also, thank you for giving me a chuckle with "what Mallory doesn't know can't hurt him." In my head, he's not hurt by an awful lot of things!
For anyone curious. here's the story of Ben Whishaw's grandfather, born Jean Stellmacher, later known as John Whishaw.
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petition to start nicknaming the telegraph 'the terfagraph' as well as 'the torygraph' because i swear every time there's a hint of trans issues in the news they're first on the line spouting transphobic bullshit
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Reminder that the Telegraph, or as people in my demographic call it the Torygraph, is a fucking morally bankrupt paper. The fact that they are blaming the Democrats sowing division for Trump rather then blaming the people who actually were sowing division, promoting hatred across racial, sexual and gender lines, shows that they don't really care who is to blame. They want to present the Left as the divisive people.
But the Telegraph is one of the big British papers for pushing the same sorts of hatred that gave rise to Trump to the US. So if the reporters there want to find the people responsible for Trump they should look around their offices.
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Liz Truss was right and the experts were wrong
Is... this journalist ok???? Are they on crack?
I'm not an economics expert, but the gist of this article is that Liz Truss was right because things are better now. Never mind she tanked the economy, and Jeremy Cunt and Rishi Sunak have pieces it back to what it was (still not good, but definitely better, so credit where credit's due).
No, it was definitely her
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the local anti vaxxers have funded their own 'newspaper' and are trying to give us free copies but i'm just ripping them up before anybody can read them
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So hhow would you like us to perform Shakespeare, sir? Mouthing it? Sign language? Interpretive dance? Oh, you mean you're a pretentious gatekeeping snob who thinks Shakespeare was some aristocratic literary genius. The man was the son of a glove maker and the actors would have been working class, some of them will have been foreigners (I know, shocking, right?), and you're saying they wouldn't have had strong accents - because that's what you mean, isn't it? Give me a break. Go do your research, you idiot, and then you can write stupid articles about Shakespeare.
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Philp's flop: Tory MP becomes national laughing stock (again)
Our political editor, WALTER CRONXITE, reports on a Croydon politician’s televised African problem
There were genuine concerns among Croydon Tories last night, after the recording of this week’s episode of the BBC’s Question Time programme in north London, that Croydon South MP Chris Philp might struggle to find his way from Tottenham all the way to Coulsdon.
Questioned time: Chris Philp is a…
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I wonder why a national newspaper would run with this debunked urban myth on the day the Bank of England raised interest rates to 5%?
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Here’s the link from Bryony Gordon , don’t click the telegraph
https://t.co/rWMm5yXTrB
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This appeared in the Torygraph
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i can't believe I'm saying this, but based keir starmer
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