#transient boundaries

[staryuee]

HOW THEY REACT TO YOUR SILENT TREATMENT.

꒰warnings꒱ not proofread … sigh

⠀꒲ ` synopsis . . . you and your partner are having a “cooling down period”, a time of détente, after a recent argument. how do they deal with the lack of love from you?

⠀꒲ ` characters . . . diluc, eula, wanderer, ayato, gorou, tartaglia, lyney, wriothesley, neuvillette, arlecchino

⠀꒲ ` notes . . . as a psychology student ☝️🤓 i can safely say that the silent treatment is usually frowned upon due to its connotations with emotional abuse, therefore i tried my best to make it apparent that this sort of silence is within the boundaries of the relationship ( ･᷄ὢ･᷅ ) please communicate with your loved ones if you feel a certain way :)

you and your beloved recently had a pretty bad argument. out of respect for both of your feelings you both decided to have a period of détente to allow a gradual recovery of your emotions and logical reasonings.

there was no need to argue, and there was also no need to be hostile or petty; therefore your silent treatment wasn’t a way to maliciously gain control or make your lover come running back to you, it was a way for both of you to regain composure and come back to the topic when prepared.

that did unfortunately, lead to much less affectionate gestures from both of you. of course there was still the casual “i love you” every morning and night accompanied by a simple kiss, but it never went anything beyond that.

while your lover fully knew why this sort of peaceful coexistence was necessary, sometimes it’s sincerely difficult to not just reach out and kiss you breathless.

you’re so close yet so far, it’s unbearable.

R. DILUC — 迪卢克

master diluc has been rather restless lately.

constant muttering to himself, plucking the dried up skin that stuck out from his badly bitten lips, his gloved hands constantly scratching a non existent scratch; honestly, if the fellow residents of dawn winery didn’t know any better they’d think he was possessed and required an immediate exorcist.

adelinde refuses to see her precious baby sink his eyes into ruin purely because he’s out secretly patrolling once he wakes up in the middle of the night to clear his head. you’re always there with him throughout the night: but why does it still feel so empty regardless?

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST ?

diluc is no pushover or people pleaser; if you were guilty, then you’re guilty and he’ll wait all the time in the world till you eventually own up and apologise (please let that come sooner or later though otherwise he’ll give into ruin and sip alcohol for a breather). otherwise, if its his fault, or no ones and it was a mere misunderstanding, the silent treatment lasts for a day. not any longer not any less; he doesn’t allow it to.

he’s more than happy to wait forever for you but gods if he ever made a mistake that accidentally led you to elongating this supposed transient silence till the end of time, diluc would much rather swallow his pride and give his all to you. you’re worth more than pettiness, and he’ll prove that to you once you wake up and get greeted with all your favourite luxuries and a bright, relieved smile on his face.

EULA — 优菈

you’re beyond delusion if you think this woman won’t turn this into a healthy-ish competition of sorts.

you wish to avoid her for days on end? she’s already used to the world avoiding her mere gaze, she can withstand the somber feeling of having the one person who’s fully understood her as the complex person she is self-isolating from her for a little while.

never mind, no, she literally can’t. come back to her right now. we have problem right? lets talk about it, isn’t that what you taught her in the first place? what do you mean you need a break and want to clear your head for a while to not hurt her feelings? you think eula of all people cares about something like that?

she’d rather you spit at her than withstand another hour of this mindless nonsense.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

she doesn’t apologise unless she sees whatever caused this perilous argument in the first place truly hurt you and you ended up in tears; otherwise whats the use in pointless words when you can easily hug it out and call it a day?

she lets you apologise under the guise of “if you don’t, my vengeance towards you will be greater than my foes”, but in reality? eula is hardly paying any attention to the words slipping past your lips. all she’s thinking about is how she’ll be able to shake off this uneasy tension that’s somehow been created between you two.

WANDERER — 流浪者

you can’t tell which one of you needed this little breather more, after all, you’d hope scara would allow himself to soften after distancing from you after a while, and scara hoped you’d see reason within your argument and eventually, as always, forgive him.

but forgiveness is a two way straight in the way most people subconsciously ignore; does he and could he ever forgive himself? that image of your teary eyed face, the harsh puffs of breath you heaved to prevent any more molten venom to burn his plastic skin, the slight clenching of your jaw, fuck it hurt.

he couldn’t admit it at the time, but right now after being forcefully peeled away from you for about week and forcing auntie nahida to listen to his venting rambles? he wished he just gave it all up and did something: anything at all. kissed you, hugged you, consoled you, swiped your tears away with his thumbs, fluttered his eyelashes on your cheek gently as he whispered an i love you.

yet all he could do right now was wait.

wait until you hopefully came back, he couldn’t face you. if you abandoned him he’d deal with it. the petals on the floor and the hushed whispers of “they love me, they love me not” are just hallucinations from his worried caregiver, he swears.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

never would he stoop so low as to apologise.

verbally. that is. if he’s aware that he’s in the wrong (believe me that look on your face does wonders for trying to figure out whats on your mind) he’ll begrudgingly come up with some covert way of making it up to you. he doesn’t want to be stuck in this immortalised silence forever; believe me, he likes your talking more than he realises and this little test trial of abandonment was more than enough proof that your existence within his life is essential.

if you’re not there standing by his side, what even is the point in that fraudulent pacemaker of his? your laughter is in the same shape of his heartbeat; if you’re not here, he’s just back to being that dumb little puppet cuddled ashore in the slim darkness of the night.

K. AYATO — 神里绫人

bile builds up in ayato’s throat, eyes threatening to spill hazardous tears on his paperwork. he HATES being away from you. yes, you’ll be back comfortably in his arms with a kiss on your forehead soon…but time isn’t making that “soon” come any quicker and it’s killing him.

‘silence’ is only the act of not speaking, right? so he’s technically allowed to sneak in pastries onto your desk when you’ve gone to take a break — he’s also most certainly allowed to write down his frustrations about not being able to be overly affectionate with you and then pitifully sliding them under your door in hopes you’ll read them and maybe write one back.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

he desperately tries to convince himself that if he works long enough, he’ll forget the hollowing feeling in his heart that’s left in the silhouette of you. he puts down his calligraphy pen with an exasperated sigh, rubbing his temples with rough motions as if to completely rid himself of any lingering thought of you.

that’ll never work, and ayato thinks you two have calmed down enough so therefore he trudged his way into your room, knocking of course, and sat down with you for a lengthy but beneficial conversation.

without a doubt, ayato will be the one to apologise first. whether it’s a conscious decision or not completely depends on how long he’s been away from you; at some point you just fall back into regular routine completely by accident.

GOROU — 五郎

he’s glad you’ve decided to take this sort of approach to your relationship instead of having a painful battle of the wits with him but right now, he’d withstand a thousand hours of scolding than the way his fellow soldiers worryingly clutter around their little general and ask about his well-being purely because those furry ears atop his bundle of bed hair decided to stay drooped down all week.

but he can’t help it! he’s utterly miserable! you didn’t even give him your complimentary “good morning, have fun at work, be safe” kiss before he left the door in the static quiet of your abode. to top this torture off? you haven’t pet him once, and while he’d normally revel in not being treated like an actual lap dog…you’re a huge exception in that rule!

unfortunately, it’s not like he can just outright demand attention from you merely because he’s feeling a bit down on his luck. you asked for peace, he’ll give it to you. he’s a war veteran but treats you like a flower thats sprouted on a ruined patch of sand.

ehem, but please come back to him soon. please?

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

whatever it takes to get your pretty hand to ruffle through his brunette locks he’ll do, he doesn’t care if the apology consists of him kneeling down on pitifully shaking his head near your thigh with his lips puckered into a pout. shame doesn’t exist within your relationship right? he’s more than willing to apologise first regardless of who was to blame.

if the argument was a little more serious however, he’ll sit down you on your couch that holds so many sweet significant memories within your mind, his head resting atop your collarbone and tail sneakily swishing from side to side now that your heartbeat was so clear to him. he’ll hear you out, talk through it, but more importantly, love and appreciate you.

TARTAGLIA — 公子

nuh uh. you think you’re getting silence with someone like him around? unless one or both of you fucked up really bad, tartaglia can’t see the point in silent ignorance; if you want to ignore him to personally calm down? sure, do whatever you want honey, you’re still getting treated like the other piece of his heart that you are.

if you’re genuinely annoyed he can leave you alone…for maybe two hours thirty minutes max. he loves you so much, talk to him, he doesn’t care if you insult him out of anger, lash out at him if you must. so long as you return into his arms so he can sway you around within his tender embrace and pepper your face with kisses, he’ll be more than happy and satisfied.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

him all day — call it the big brother complex with having to always apologise first whenever he got into a slight squabble or disagreement with his siblings when he were younger, or call it pure unadulterated love for you and the refusal to continue with this pointless staring battles whenever you guys were sitting across from each other.

whatever it is, just know he takes your feelings seriously regardless of the teasing grin across his face when you try not to squirm from the way his hand traveled from across your waist to the slither of exposed stomach. he just wants to assure you that his love won’t ever fade even if it becomes so deliberately one sided. he’s yours, after all.

LYNEY — 林尼

he’s used to eerie silence that bellowed icy winds against his ears, used to the tension that forced out his fight or flight response, but currently all he could do was freeze and overthink. how come this silence seemed so much more deafening than usual?

lyney doesn’t want this worse than capital punishment torture to continue without at least the slightest bit of laughter mingled into both of your days; he tries his best to curve your lips to even the slightest twenty degree lift using whatever he could. silly little flower reappearing trick there, a sneaky kiss to the side of your neck here; just any fleeting desperate attempt for some reciprocation on your part.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

lyney’s used to apologising first given his experiences within the house of hearth and the father herself. so imagine his surprise when you both incidentally stammer over one another as you two splutter apologies helplessly. god he’s so happy your relationship is built open gushes of giggles instead of the splats of tears because if it weren’t for that cute little accident? lyney was sure the second you opened your lovely lips to speak he would’ve teared up.

he missed that voice telling him constant i love yous, the affectionate cradling of his face against your neck and the way you wouldn’t hesitate to hold his flushed face within your cooling hands to comfort him after a particularly stress inducing performance.

WRIOTHESLEY — 莱欧斯利

you left the conversation with an “i love you.” so he knows that you’ll come back to him.

however, the last time he blindly trusted the comforting words of a loved one, it ended with blood on his hands and a lengthy sentence at the fortress of meropide. luckily for his heart and your own, he knows your charms and honeyed words aren’t for show and truly mean something.

wriothesley respects your boundaries and wishes to the t, he won’t speak to you like nothing at all happened but that doesn’t mean he won’t be overly cautious when it comes to your behavioural patterns. if he notices this sentence of silence is clearly taking its toll on you, he will, with no hesitation, talk everything out with you.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

depending on the argument, he’ll apologise first. if it’s rather undeniable that you were the one in the wrong however, he’ll explain his feelings thoroughly until you apologise — the standard. he doesn’t want this silence to end till the fortress of meropide overflows with primordial water so once you see multiple guards on your case more than ever, just know he’d like to talk to you.

NEUVILLETTE — 那维莱特

fontaine has been drenched in rain for the past couple of days. every hour, every minute, every second neuvillette spends alone in his office makes him realise just how grand and solemn it is. everything is so mundane and banal…even the cheerful mutters and chatters of the sweet melusines couldn’t bring a smile to his face — much to the dismay of the little sigewinne who even so kindly brought him a cake to cheer him up…

what makes it even worse is that everything reminds him of you…and oh god the muddied clouds have once again been cursed with rain. this unquenchable thirst for your presence cannot be ignored by a mere sip from his intricate cup and being the ever so carefully mindful iudex, neuvillette sees it more than fit to call this hopeless game of silence to quits.

WHO APOLOGISES FIRST?

regardless of who’s in the wrong, neuvillette apologises first. he’s sorry for letting this go so far, he should’ve just trusted his gut and returned to your side even if it meant having to persuade you with his clever tongue or the coiling of his draconic tail around your leg to pull you sweetly closer.

honestly, if he could, he’d make this a punishment in the fortress of meropide for every couple. you committed a petty, technically non offensive crime? well instead of doing some charity work for the city, you’re not allowed by the side of your beloved for a few weeks.

ARLECCHINO — 阿蕾奇诺

a bunny within the jaws of a spring locked beast thinking it can persuade the tides in their favour with silence? arlecchino is amused you’d think such cheap tomfoolery would work to solve through your problems.

“darling, come here,” she taps her lap with her blood-stained nail, her eyes looking up at you greedily to soak up every single jitter of your movements as you alas fall onto your rightful throne, “my dumb bunny,” arlecchino coos at you with that devilishly low hum of her voice. “do you think the phrases ignorance is bliss, distance brings fondness, truly work within our relationship?”

arlecchino painfully grasps at your waist, that grip only loosening once you comfortably situate yourself on her thighs and lace your arms around her neck per routine. “i’d expect this behaviour from my children at the house of hearth, not you, angel.” she nibbles on your earlobe deliberately, forcing your lips to part just the way she likes. that perfect look of both surprise and desire; it’s a gorgeous display of your vulnerability.

“explain to me your problems, or else we can be at this forever.”

no such thing as the silent treatment when the very epitome of a wordless shadow has betrothed you.

©STARYUEE do not copy, steal or repost ♡ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɪʜᴇᴀʀᴛɢᴀɴʏᴜ

[babyb1ues]

Xavier’s No Restraint

and when the string finally snaps.

“Young people don’t know how to cherish what they have.”

The concept of immortality is always a fascinating one. The dichotomy of life and death and what you lose and what you gain. What a long life strips from your soul and your understanding of the very same life you live.

Something about Xavier, he has learned to cherish–the hard way, I think. Modern humans, who get caught up in the windmill of life, a constant struggle, too busy, too tired, too distracted to live in the moment, sit back and take it in. Now, think about life, but without a clock ticking above your head, living in the blissfulness and unknownness of what it’s like to exist in borrowed time. No longer transient, unrepeatable. You take it for granted.

He went to explain himself as soon as possible. The meaning of his absence, pointed out by one of the targets, nonetheless. He’s got a habit of disappearing, everybody knows this. He’s worked alone for so long he’s become of secretive nature—relying on himself. But he’s got someone else now, and he knows he can’t just up and leave like he’s used to. If I remember correctly MC has called him out on this before, but this is no time and place to question him, so we get, “Why are you suddenly talking about this?” and maybe it’s because he’s embarrassed to admit it, and the wind gives a certain lightness to his words—carry them away after he’s delivered them, so he says then, “No reason.” But there’s always a reason.

He’s forced to come clean. I hesitate to call it a justification of his actions, it doesn’t feel quite right. I’d rather go for an understanding of his actions, he wants us to understand the reason for not just why he did what he did just now, but this specific pattern of his behavior, of his psychology—the disappearing without a trace, the nonchalant of his voice.

It’s like he wants to say If I leave is not because I choose to, not this time. And he doesn’t take it for granted, not this time. We know this to be true, to an extent. He knows we know. Nobody asked for an explanation, but he offers one, reaffirms it. Words are mere airflow unless you mean what you say.

One room. One bed.

He doesn’t mind sleeping outside. Outside. Where it’s a cold lobby and uncomfortable and probably noisy with the incoming rain. It’s not like he’s a stranger, he’d be let inside–he knows this too, that’s why he suggested it first. Xavier knows boundaries—to a goddamn fault, time and time again to the point it’s frustrating to watch. It’s like being scared of burning your hand. He hovers, hesitates, prods and pulls back. You know the fire would eat you up, but when all you’ve known is cold the warmth of a fire sounds alluring.

Xavier is shown to be on the edge of flirting with fire. It’s not the first time. The flame licks at his finger, dances around him, he lets it, only to later shut it down with a swiftness. This time it’s different though, there’s oil slowly dripping into the flame.

“...kneels in front of me, grasps my ankle, and takes off my high heels.”

And it’s him, he’s feeding into it when he knows he shouldn’t have.

“...leans against the edge of the table, shoulder to shoulder with me.”

But the light is too bright.

“Did you reconsider?”

Too warm.

“So I could have you all to myself.”

He prods with a finger. He asks if he’s your favorite.

And he can’t help himself.

The narrative reads “If we stayed there another second, a fire would’ve started.”

The card is called No Restraint, yet there’s a whole lot of restraint coming from him —all the time—so much that it damn nears aches, and it shows. Gazes caught lingering, hiding away yet still nudging a sleeping beast. He’s lying through his teeth, playing along with words he knows to be untrue, words that let him know that he is wanted. And he is wanting too.

He asks if you want to do something, before the rain stops. The weather has you hostage in this room with nowhere to go. It’s just you and him, and he needs to know, once again. He needs to know if you’re okay with it.

He’s at the edge of it, not fully engulfed. The liquid dripping down his temple transforms from water droplets of a shower to the moisture of his skin. He grabs the hand venturing towards his neck because it’s a game until it’s not. He parts his mouth, panting like he’s short of breath, as if he were fighting an internal battle.

“...I am trapped by something.”

The whisper of his name is enough to plunge him into the depths of it.

The flame bursts into a fire, and he lets himself be burned.

[ghelgheli]

To understand the full context of the American-led ‘53 coup against Mosaddegh in Iran it is imo critical to recognize anti-communism as a proximate cause. Write-up below:

It is commonly understood that the early decades of the 20th century in Iran are characterized by British colonial extortion of material resources (mostly oil) within the boundaries of “Persia” (pre-1935) / “Iran” (post). The penultimate monarchical dynasty, the Qajars, were ousted in 1925—but the exile of the last Qajar Ahmad Shah was the direct result of the 1921 military coup led by then-Reza Khan (later the first “Pahlavi”, Reza Shah) which was directed by Britain. And at this time, British anxieties heavily featured concerns about Bolshevik encroachment from the Caucuses (not just through the newly-formed Azerbaijan SSR, but also through domestic sympathizers that fueled such projects as large as the transient Persian SSR, put down by Reza Khan after Soviet withdrawal).

This is stage-setting. Of course, by the 50s, in tandem with Cold War thread-pulling, the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company constituted a thirsty tentacle of British imperialism sucking Abadan dry and contributing pittances to the local economy. It was in the midst of decades of growing resentment against this presence that Mosaddegh became Prime Minister in 1951 as the leader of the broad National Front coalition, and we are familiar with how intensely he campaigned for nationalizing the country’s oil and how pissy this made the British (here’s one and another post on the subject if not).

Here’s the detour: you may know that it was the CIA, an American institution, that orchestrated the ‘53 coup to oust Mosaddegh. But we were just now discussing threats against British colonial power in Iran. How did things get from B to A, as it were? We can’t take this for granted.

The British in fact spent the intervening two years trying to get Mosaddegh out by mobilizing the Shah and various right-wing (often clerical and mercantile) interests in Iran (this point, and much of what follows, draws from bits of Darioush Bayandor’s Iran and the CIA and Mostafa Elm’s Oil, Power, and Principle). They spent the same two years desperately trying to get the Americans on board with their efforts. But—here it is—the Truman regime and American foreign policy was in general intensely hostile to this strain of British interventionism in Iran, going so far as to issue warnings against it.

Why? Well, as you would expect, the Americans were concerned about Soviet influence in the region. Then-U.S ambassador in Tehran Henry Grady claimed that “Mosaddegh’s National Front party is the closest thing to a moderate and stable element in the national parliament” (Wall Street Journal, June 9 1951). This summarizes the American position at the time: Mosaddegh’s nationalist movement constituted the bastion against communism, and the US was very interested in the survival of this bastion lest Iran align with the USSR. 

What happened between 1951 and 1953 is that British pressure, operating through the Shah and more conservative elements of the Iranian government, jeopardized moderate support for Mosaddegh. With the right and center-right against him an entire wing of National Front coalition was falling off, and Mosaddegh found himself leaning more and more on the strengthening Tudeh Party, which had grown in numbers to militaristic significance during Mosaddegh’s tenure (including a network of at least 600 officers in the state military). Tudeh, of course, was the pro-Soviet communist party in Iran. And now the threads come together.

It was in this context of Mosaddegh, backed into a corner with almost only the communists behind him, that the CIA released a memo on November 20th, 1952 singing a very different tune:

It is of critical importance to the United States that Iran remain an independent and sovereign nation, not dominated by the USSR...

Present trends in Iran are unfavorable to the maintenance of control by a non-communist regime for an extended period of time. In wresting the political initiative from the Shah, the landlords, and other traditional holders of power, the National Front politicians now in power have at least temporarily eliminated every alternative to their own rule except the Communist Tudeh Party...

It is clear that the United Kingdom no longer possesses the capability unilaterally to assure stability in the area. If present trends continue unchecked, Iran could be effectively lost to the free world in advance of an actual Communist takeover of the Iranian Government. Failure to arrest present trends in Iran involves a serious risk to the national security of the United States.

And (!!!)

In light of the present situation the United States should adopt and pursue the following policies:...

Be prepared to take the necessary measures to help Iran to start up her oil industry and to secure markets for her oil so that Iran may benefit from substantial oil reserves...

Recognize the strength of Iranian nationalist feeling; try to direct it into constructive channels and be ready to exploit any opportunity to do so

It took two tries for the CIA to bring about a coup that removed Mosaddegh from power, but the objective of this coup was not the preservation of British control over Iranian resources; it was the maintenance of the Western sphere of influence against communist revolution (this was further prioritized by the arrival of the Eisenhower administration). In fact, after the coup the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company (now renamed British Petroleum) had to make room for six other companies from the US, France, and the Netherlands as part of a consortium, and this consortium would split profits with Iran 50/50. This is, to be clear, still colonialist extraction! But it constitutes a huge blow to British economic interests, because they were never the CIA’s goal. This is part of why the post-coup government is characterized far more as a US puppet than a British one.

It does remain that this was a sequence of events very much set in motion because of actions taken by the British government; by the time they managed to get shit to hit the fan, though, it was very much no longer in their control where the shit was flying.

[black-butler-meta]

Why Ciel Being a Minor is Crucial

Something that constantly catches my attention as I read Black Butler is the emphasis on Ciel being a child. It’s brought up constantly in how other characters perceive him, and it also presents itself at times within his behaviors, particularly during traumatic events. It’s intentional and vital to the story and the themes and messages within it would not be the same if Ciel were an adult.

Ciel’s childlike nature and presentation is an integral part of the overall story and his development as a character. It serves three purposes:

It symbolizes that he is not yet past the trauma he endured when he was younger.

It serves to contrast against his more mature qualities and how others underestimate him because of it.

The presence of both mature and immature qualities provide symbolism for the transient stage of adolescence and how adults respond to it.

For the first point, Ciel’s persisting youth serves as a symbol of being stuck in one’s past trauma. He is thirteen years old, and yet he looks younger, likely due to his time in captivity where malnutrition was one of the many cruelties he endured. Additionally, he maintains some child-like characteristics within his personality and actions, such as being carried often by Sebastian, having Sebastian watch over him as he falls asleep, and an avoidance/ignorance around sex/sexuality. His childlike behavior is heightened during traumatic events, such as witnessing the slaughter of children within a replicated space of where his trauma occurred (Book of Circus arc), his near-death experience with Sebastian where he had to be forcibly restrained to receive treatment (Green Witch arc), as well as when he has PTSD nightmares. He comes across as very sheltered and avoidant of topics around sex, which at least partially correlates to his cultural upbringing within Victorian era England; however, his blatant lack of awareness of sexual topics/concerns pushes even beyond his cultural restrictions into the atypical (this will be expanded upon in a separate post).

Most, if not all, of these moments show a behavioral age regression in response to trauma. He may be 13 in the present, but the scared 10 year old still lives within him.

Age regression is typically divided into two types: voluntary and involuntary.

Ciel demonstrates both of these. He demonstrates voluntary age regression by allowing Sebastian to carry him around, as well as explicitly ordering him to watch over him while he sleeps. Although I’m not entirely sure on what are considered typical butler duties, one might even see the act of dressing and washing as babying, although this also seems an appropriate duty since I’m sure Ciel never had to dress himself as a young child. Still, none of us can deny that the act of dressing and washing are an intimate and personal form of care between Ciel and Sebastian, regardless of what side of the ship/no-ship fence you’re on. The number of frames/scenes of Ciel being dressed/undressed are evidence enough that these moments hold weight for both characters. Within all of these situations, Ciel is in control; he decides how he wants to be treated, and anyone who oversteps that boundary is met with hostility (e.g., Sebastian attempting to spoon feed him). By contrast, the involuntary age regression occurs during moments of trauma, which was already described above.

Either way, the childishness of Ciel communicates the message that while trauma may happen in a specific place and time, the impact of it is lifelong and takes years to overcome.

For the second point, it’s also important to recognize that while Ciel is childish in many ways, this youthfulness of him is always put in contrast to other aspects of him that are very mature. He’s an earl and has the responsibilities of an adult, the heaviest of which is to fulfill the Queen’s orders as her watchdog. Additionally, his intelligence and wry humor are very mature for his age, partially thanks to Sebastian’s influence and education - we saw on the flashbacks how little he knew at first and how much Sebastian had to teach him. If it weren’t for the childlike aspects present (physical smallness included), he could easily pass as an adult character.

The fact that he is technically a teenager and not a preadolescent is an important one. He knew early on that he would be perceived as a younger than he was due to his small stature. In order to carry out his vengeance, Ciel knew he had to integrate adult society. He had to work particularly hard to grow up as quickly as possible, which was why he allowed Sebastian to educate him so strictly. It worked; the queen recognized his position and maturity and allowed him to take his place as her watchdog, granting him the ability to pick up his father’s mantel and become part of the dark, seedy (and very adult) underworld.

However, it goes without saying that his youth is never forgotten amongst the adults that surround him. He is constantly looked at/treated as a child by others, including his enemies, and as such, they think they can either manipulate him or don’t see him as a threat. Ciel uses this to his advantage to best his enemies with his superior intelligence and Sebastian’s supernatural skills. He’s throwing their assumptions of him back into their faces. He isn’t a child; not anymore, and especially not after what he went through. Within the world of Black Butler, children are often treated as less than human, not worthy of respect or autonomy. They’re often compared to tools, dolls, or animals. Children are ‘things,’ created by adults and for adults. It’s a beautiful irony that it’s the cruelty of adults that has transformed Ciel into the very thing that’s going to destroy them (i.e., the adults responsible). Their hubris and the fact that they underestimate him due to his youth will be their downfall.

Of course, the conversation of whether Ciel is a child or adult is, in a way, a false dichotomy. The reality is that he exists somewhere in the middle; Ciel is neither fully a child nor fully an adult, and it’s this power struggle between his trauma and the world he lives in that provides symbolism for what it means to be an adolescent. Adolescence is a transitory period that is often overlooked or de-emphasized, particularly in western culture. Adolescence is often lumped in under the category of “child” with emphasis on the younger years of childhood, especially when it comes to topics of sex/sexuality (again, this will be discussed in a separate post). As such, there’s an invisible divide that exists in western culture between being a “child” and being an “adult.” This, of course, does adolescents a disservice, as adolescents are also going through major physiology changes, as well as dealing with a change in expectations from those around them. It’s a combination of adults restricting personal autonomy and self-identity for the adolescent paired with the pressure/expectation of the adolescent to behave as an adult and provide adult-level results.

This is what makes Ciel and Sebastian’s relationship so interesting. Due to the nature of the contract, Ciel is the one in control, rather than Sebastian. It’s a strangely balanced relationship between them, where Ciel is the master and Sebastian is the servant; and yet, at the same time, Sebastian is the mentor/guardian and Ciel is the mentee/apprentice. Sebastian is able to teach and establish rules that follow his role as his butler and play along with the game of upholding Victorian values (mostly), but in the end, Ciel is the one who has the final say on what happens. In this sense, their dynamic grants Ciel the autonomy and control that he craves, while also providing him with the support that he continues to need. In this way, Ciel is able to exist in both spaces at once: being a child in some ways, and being an adult in others. Both are central to who he is, and both are important.

[geminimoonmadness]

ASTEROIDS ☄️

Part 2 ♡♡ Copywrites reserved©️GeminiMoonMadness

CONJUNCT VENUS EDITION♡

The conjunctions of these asteroids to your natal venus should be within an orb of 0°-5°, the tighter the degree the more prominent it will be in your life.

≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣

Camelot (9500) Conjunct Venus

Gives you an idealistic & visionary nature. Moral & ethical beliefs play an essential role in your life. The home may become a place of importance in their life.

Castalia (4769) Conjunct Venus

Gives you clarity of thought & eloquence. Also gifts you with an unlimited imagination.

Cupido (763) Conjunct Venus

Will put an emphasis on themes of lust, pleasure, joy, delight and sensuality in your life.

Cyrene (133) Conjunct Venus

Gives an Independent, assertive & aggressive nature. You may have a love for physical activity, athletics, combat and the outdoors.

Dudu (564) Conjunct Venus

You may reject religion and strive towards your own personal ideal of perfection & power.

Eugenisis (743) Conjunct Venus

Pursuits relating to child birth, creativity, invention, initiation and commencement are favoured.

Faina (751) Conjunct Venus

The significance of marriage and working partnerships may be emphasised in your life.

Freia (76) Conjunct Venus

Gives you a love for pleasure. Personal charm, beauty and love may play an essential role in your life.

Frostia (854) Conjunct Venus

Gives you a inclination towards scientific pursuits as well as an interest in athletics & intellectual activities/studies. You may be the type of person to help provide aid to colleagues in need. Also themes involving winter and the cold may be sign to you.

Hyrbis (430) Conjunct Venus

There is the possibility of bad manners/rudeness, over confidence and vanity to manifest which can bring your life to ruins if the individual is not self aware.

Aesculapia (1027) Conjunct Venus

Gives a talent and/or interest in the therapeutic, medicinal & medical pursuits. Grants you with good health and a long life, otherwise alternatively, you will have this concept on your mind frequently.

Agina (847) Conjunct Venus

Grants you with ethical virtues, holiness, morality & innocence. Similar to the asteroid above, there may be an inclination towards the healing & medicinal arts.

Aslog (962) Conjunct Venus

Gives you a stormy early life but you eventually rise to a position of power at one stage in your lifetime. You may have extraordinary yet estranged ancestors/relatives.

Asmodeus (2174) Conjunct Venus

May bring attention to lower aspects of one’s being. You may have strong carnal urges & base desires.

Iris (7) Conjunct Venus

You may have a swift, adaptable, transient & unpredictable nature. You have a tendency to instigate communication and mutual understanding. You may serve as a courier, informant, diplomat or mediator. Your boundaries are often crossed

Isis (42) Conjunct Venus

You have a highly compassionate, productive & helpful nature. Gifted with the power to create, revive, nurture & sustain life. You may be involved in healing and caring for others.

Jole (836) Conjunct Venus

You may attract the undesired attention of others. Your charm may come with consequences for your home & family.

Kressmannia (800) Conjunct Venus

Christianity may be of importance to you. Also grants you with an interest in philanthropy.

London (8837) Conjunct Venus

Gives you an interest to the place London itself. You may have an interest in the culture, lifestyle, delicacies, scenery, etc.

Marion (506) Conjunct Venus

Puts an emphasis on the relationship between cousins. Women, especially female relatives play a crucial role in your life.

Mathesis (454) Conjunct Venus

Gives you a lifelong love for knowledge and education. Gives you a talent in mathematics and science. (You’d make a great teacher!)

Oriola (701) Conjunct Venus

Gives you an optimistic, cheerful, high-spirited & prideful personality. You have a talent for vocal expression.

Pales (49) Conjunct Venus

Gives you a passion to care for and handle/manage animals.

Phaethon (3200) Conjunct Venus

Gives radiant, fearless, overly vain, self absorbed & attention seeking characteristics. These individuals may overestimate their abilities.

Roswitha (615) Conjunct Venus

You may find fame through your work. You are the type of person to challenge society’s assumptions about gender.

Stargazer (8958) Conjunct Venus

You have an imaginative & visionary personality. There is an interest in astrological and celestial studies. You absolutely love the night sky and stars.

Ulrike (885) Conjunct Venus

You may have a strong sense of allegiance with friends & family. Possibly have keen, fierce & aggressive instincts. You have divinatory, intuitive or prophetic talent (psychic ability).

Valda (262) Conjunct Venus

You have the ability to lead and command others. You have a courageous, energetic and confident nature.

≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣

Let me know if you have any of these placements!

Ps- I appreciate interactions & feedback of all kindsツ

[morsking]

there has been a thematic thread linking marisbury's vision for humanity's future to kirschtaria's own desire to elevate humanity and protect the crypters, and morgan's own effort to protect the land of britain that contains the memories she made as aesc alongside the original tam lin and uther. this also reflects in artoria caster's existence post-avalon le fae as a simulacrum of the actual artoria caster that died in the lostbelt, preserved and embodied by artoria avalon so in some way the memory of that girl who remembered only sadness could be embraced by happiness. additionally, meltryllis in SE.RA.PH. breaching time and space to protect fujimaru is also a link in this chain. morgan's summer form, waking up after her spirit origin manifested her memories of being aesc, makes mention of the butterfly's dream: a philosophical thought musing that there is a transient boundary between dreams and reality.

the chinese philosopher chuang tzu once dreamt he was a butterfly, untethered and free to float in the air. he woke up questioning whether he dreamed he was a butterfly, or whether the butterfly was dreaming it was him. reality can feel like a dream, and a dream can feel more real than anything, underscoring how transience is an unavoidable part of the human condition. people will live their dreams and watch them end from the moment they are born to the day they die, and heroic spirits are the same because humanity lives every day chasing its dreams and heroic spirits are those dreams.

but starting with marisbury, we contend with the idea that sometimes, the dreamer does not wish for the dream to end. if dreams are transient because the dreamer must wake, then the only way to preserve the dream is if the dreamer fades away into the dream instead. marisbury seemingly committed suicide to preserve the animusphere grand order. meltryllis burned through the remnants of her existence to protect her memories of her timeline's fujimaru by saving them in their own. kirschtaria, already at death's door, stayed alive only to ensure his ideal and his friends could survive beyond his death, his soul being described as a bird taking flight with caeneus chasing in tow as he dies. morgan sacrificed being aesc so the land of britain could survive, and wiped her own memories of totorot and mash so they wouldn't be erased from existence for being time paradoxes. artoria caster used her entire life force to forge excalibur so the time she treasured could live on with her friends in chaldea as they fought to save proper human history, and themselves, from the rampage of cernunnos's corpse.

on top of all of that, there have been very cryptic visuals associating mash and butterflies since fgo's first opening. "shikisai" had the visual of a butterfly floating in ruins, and "yakudou" has a shot of mash's gaze following a butterfly flying into the sky. the butterfly is her guide, leading the way to the end of her dream. kinoko nasu himself once shared that cosmos in the lostbelt is a story about accepting that ends will come, and thus the butterfly is the lesson that she must take to heart to grow into a person who can claim what the purpose she chose is without shame or hesitation as the end draws near. this is something she did once saving fujimaru from goetia's ars almadel salomonis at the end of observer in timeless temple. and i would not be surprised if she did the same against marisbury at the end of cosmos in the lostbelt (which has yet to finish, as paper moon's trailer demonstrates having it be part of the chapter's title).

but what is the dream she is dreaming that is inevitably coming to an end that she will choose to protect at the cost of her place in it? if you've been reading this far, then the answer should be obvious.

but nasu wouldn't be much of a romantic if he believed an end is all you could really look forward to. the journey is far more important than the destination, because it's the only thing that can give the end meaning, as romani archaman rightly puts in his final conversation with mash. you can only extrapolate the significance of something after it's already over. not at the start, not in the middle of it, and not at when it's over, but at the moment that lies beyond the end of the dream.

and when a dream ends, that is the moment when another begins.

[devilevlls]

hello cool writer. can I humbly request a sfw but very very angst (if possible) Barbatos fic with this?

-"This could either save us or ruin everything."

has too much hurt/no comfort potentional lol. sorry if its too specific but maybe bad ending for mc? :)

Hello!! Thank you for the request, I hope you enjoy 💚

This could either save us or ruin everything⭑.ᐟ´-

Gender-Neutral MC༘ ⋆｡˚

They couldn't help but admire Barbatos—his form, his presence, everything about him made their heart ache with longing. Perhaps they were lovesick, they mused, their gaze lingering on the majestic demon as he moved with effortless grace.

But they knew it was almost impossible to be by his side. Barbatos was someone so powerful, so meaningful, while they were just a mere human, transient and insignificant in comparison.

For a fleeting moment, they allowed their mind to speak out loud, the words tumbling forth with a vulnerability they couldn't suppress.

"Barbatos," they whispered, their voice barely a breath against the weight of uncertainty that hung in the air. "Do you ever wish things could be different? That we could defy fate and carve out our own path together?"

They waited, holding their breath as if afraid of the answer, knowing that the truth could either shatter their fragile hope or breathe new life into their wildest dreams. “No, I wouldn’t change a thing. Why do you ask, MC?” He speaks calmly.

"I wish we had a timeline where we could end up together. Life is so cruel," MC murmured, their gaze fixed on the swirling depths of their tea, as if seeking solace in its dark embrace.

"Soulmates are destined to meet, not be together, my darling," Barbatos replied, his voice tinged with a melancholy that mirrored MC's own. With a gentle smile, he poured another cup of tea, his tail swaying in a silent rhythm of understanding.

"But… what if we could escape? To another reality?" MC's voice trembled with desperation, their fingers tracing the delicate patterns of the teacup in search of answers that eluded them.

"This could either save us or ruin everything. Timelines aren't clear and definitive, they are blurry, risky, and things could change with the smallest of details," Barbatos explained, his gaze meeting MC's with a depth of understanding that spoke of lifetimes spent in quiet contemplation. He moved to sit beside them, offering a sense of comfort that transcended the boundaries of time and space.

"Please, drink it. I made it especially for you," Barbatos said softly, his hand resting on MC's, a silent promise woven into the fabric of their shared sorrow. He didn’t seem bothered. Maybe that’s what being completely powerful meant. There was no logic for an immortal being like him to worry about such thing, so useless, so… meaningless.

And as they sipped their tea together, the bitter taste of inevitability mingled with the sweet warmth of companionship, reminding them that even in a world where soulmates were destined to part, the bond they shared would endure, a beacon of light in the endless expanse of time.

Drabble prompts you can use in your requests!

[dragonfirerogue-writes]

At Your Service

Wednesday x Kitsune!Reader

Part One|Part Two|Part Three|Part Four|Part Five|Part Six|Part Seven

Ah yes. The annual Outreach Day has finally come to the town of Jericho. You sigh as you file to Pilgrim World with the rest of the volun-told Nevermore students assigned to the place. At least you had Enid with you.

Until you see dark braids instead of blonde.

Confusion set in as you sidle up to Wednesday, careful to still leave space to respect her boundaries.

"What are you doing here?" You whispered. "I thought you had Uriah's Heap."

Dark eyes flicker over to you. "Traded with Enid. She gets to be with Ajax and I get to learn about Joseph Crackstone."

"Crackstone?"

Before you could ask more, your liaison for Pilgrim World arrived and began her spiel about the park. You would have to ask Wednesday about it later. Especially with her interest in the meeting house.

-----+++++-----

Commotion drew your attention and you appeared in time to see the boy battling Wednesday end up in the stocks. With a smirk, you eased behind the other two and Eugene.

"I can't get into any more trouble with my dad." Lucas said. You chose that moment to clap both bullies on the back, startling them.

"You better skedaddle then. Don't think things'll get any better for you if I join the fray." You wiggle your eyebrows at the boys as they retreat. Eugene thanks you while Wednesday just nods and the three of you go to get the beekeeper clean.

Suddenly you find yourself tagging along with Wednesday to break into the closed meeting house.

"Eugene, give me your retainer."

Both you and Eugene balk at the goth. As the boy hammers on about teeth, you just take out your lockpick set and hand it over.

"Don't use a retainer. As resourceful as you are, I don't think we ended up cleaning that of vomit." You cringe at the thought of the goth touching the retainer, then it getting used as a lockpick only for it to go back into Eugene's mouth.

Wednesday looked at the lockpick you presented her with a quirk of her eyebrow before taking it.

"Both of you keep an eye out while I search."

Eugene looked uneasy. "What if Mistress Arlene catches us?"

You pat the boy on the shoulder. "We deny everything."

Denying everything didn't work out. Well, for Eugene at least. As soon as you clocked Arlene, you shifted into your fox form and escaped. You figured they'd be okay.

-----+++++-----

The door chimes as you enter the Weathervane. As soon as you could, you snuck away from Pilgrim World and ditched the frocks for your uniform. You knew Wednesday had dipped earlier and you sought her out, only to see her with Tyler. You ignore the little squeeze of your heart and walk up to them, managing to catch the tail end of their conversation.

"Besides, I know my way around the great outdoors."

Before Tyler could say anything else, you chime in. "And I'll tag along if it makes you feel better, normie boy."

"Or you can abandon me again."

"You had Eugene."

"Hmph."

Tyler, and Xavier in the background, looked between the two of you as you bicker. Confusion lines his face when Wednesday turns around to leave and you stay put, watching her walk away. When she reaches the door, she turns to look at you.

"Well? Are you coming or not?"

You grin at the normie before making your way to the goth. "Yes, ma'am."

-----+++++-----

Dealing with a transient wasn't on the list of things you thought you were going to do today, but neither was sleuthing about in the ruins of a centuries old meeting house.

"There's nothing here."

"At least of value...." You mention as you kick an old can out of the vicinity. You could hear tapping from the sentient hand that followed Wednesday. She eyes you for a moment before replying.

"No, I can't just touch something. My visions seem to happen spontaneously."

"Visions? Is that how you knew about Rowan?" You asked, taking any chance to learn more about your new friend and potential crush.

Wednesday nods in response before her eyes trail back to Thing.

"I would rather dye my hair pink then ask my mother for advice."

"Well, what else can we do here? Doesn't hurt to try." you shrug. Thing seems to tap in agreement before Wednesday snaps at him.

"Oh, you want me to prove it to you?"

Wednesday goes around the small area, touching the wood and walls. Each time she pointedly looks at Thing noting that nothing was happening. To make a point, she even picks up a discarded Taco Bell bag and mimics getting a vision, which causes you to laugh. There's a slight upturn on her lips at the sound before she motions to her comrades to leave.

"My visions are about as predictable as shark attacks."

You were following behind her as her hand touches the door and her body seizes. As the vision overtakes her, Wednesday falls back into your arms. You look at Thing, concerned for your friend's well being. He lets out a few taps and points to the makeshift shelter on the other side of the ruins. With a nod, you pick up the girl and make your way over.

Putting her down, you clear the area of trash and take off your outerwear. You had your hoodie under your blazer, so you took it off to lay it down so Wednesday didn't have to lay on a questionable surface. Luckily, you managed to get her situated before it started to rain. You quickly use your blazer as an umbrella, keeping most of Wednesday dry, as you wait for the girl to wake up.

Thing kept watch of the perimeter while you tended to Wednesday. Her face hardly held any emotion on a regular basis, but you swear you could see the calm on it now. However, her eyes darted back and forth under her eyelids. You wondered what she was seeing.

It was several minutes before Wednesday's eyes shot open and she lurched up, almost colliding with your forehead.

"Thing! Y/N! I saw her! The girl from my vision." Her eyes darted between the two of you as she spoke. "Her name is Goody Addams and I believe she's my ancestor from 400 years ago."

"Whoa. So did you figure out how Crackstone is involved?"

The goth took a moment to answer. She was suddenly struck with how close you were with your blazer above both of your heads. Her black heart stuttered slightly, the considerate acts you've done surprising her. You stared at each other until a snapping branch caught both your attentions.

"Must've been the bearded man from before."

Wednesday got up, walking away from you to look through a hole in the ruined walls. You quickly put your blazer back on and grab your hoodie. Walking over to Wednesday to take a look as well, you drape the hoodie over her shoulders and pull the hood up. You kept an eye out when the smaller girl looked up at you and slipped her arms through the sleeves. As soon as her eyes turned back to the hole in the wall, a monstrous eye appeared to meet hers.

Both you and Wednesday startle and back away as the monster runs off. Immediately, the goth bolts off with you and Thing, now on your shoulder, follow closely behind. The beast was quick and soon disappeared.

Wednesday slows down, eyeing the tracks that the monster left. You catch up to the goth, making sure to not interrupt her investigation. Sensing your presence, she glances at you and points out the change in tracks.

"The monster is human."

"Wait, what?" You lean in, looking at the tracks. "No way..."

"What the hell are you two doing?"

You jump, clutching your chest while Wednesday just turns to look at Xavier. You look around, wondering where the boy even came from.

"We were following the monster."

Tyler gapes at the two of you and looks around. "You saw it? It's here?" He then whirls around and glares at you two. "Do you have a death wish or something?"

You furrow your brows and steps up to them tall boy.

"What are you even doing here?"

"I overheard you guys talking about checking out the old meeting house. It's lucky I got here when I did."

You just roll your eyes and check out of the conversation. Especially after the tracks were rained out. While you felt like you could slip away now that the excitement was over, something seemed to keep you at Wednesday's side. It wasn't because of the bead in her possession since she didn't compel you to join her. You tagged along on your own.

Your attention begins to veer back to your companions when you hear Wednesday's voice begin to raise. It seemed like Xavier was trying to explain how unreliable visions were.

"You're creating a story in your head and using your visions to back them up. They're telling you what you want to see."

You stand behind Wednesday, as if you were physically backing her up.

"Dude, are you mansplaining her powers? Not everyone has the same experiences when it comes to their abilities."

Xavier just rolls his eyes. "All I'm saying is that my dad, the expert, would warn you that psychic abilities aren't rooted in logic. It's triggered by emotions." He looks pointedly at Wednesday. "And let's be honest. Emotion's not your strong suit."

A scoff escapes your lips as your friend ignores the jape and states to Xavier that she was going to stop whatever's happening. You join in, vowing to help her before walking away, leaving Xavier in the rain.

-----+++++-----

The sun blinds you as you sit on the bleachers for the special unveiling of the Joseph Crackstone statue. You didn't want to be there, but getting to see Wednesday play her cello was intriguing enough to keep you seated. Well, that and the fact that you had helped with a little surprise for everyone.

Mayor Walker drones on and you slouch in your seat. You're nearly asleep when the sudden burst of music startles you awake. Now, you're sitting up and waiting patiently for the fun to happen. Wednesday's eyes dart to you and you give a playful smirk.

The sound of fizzing and sparks reach your ears as your smirk becomes wide. Before you know it, the Crackstone statue bursts into flames. The sight leaves you giddy, but what makes it better was the sound of Wednesday's playing as chaos reigns around you two.

Your eyes don't leave her as you stay in your seat. Even from your vantage point, you see the mirth in your favorite dark eyes. Suddenly, those eyes are on you and a tiny smirk appears on her lips, leaving you breathless.

[shortpplfedup]

The burn is slow because Jeng is a goddamn professional. If he's going to date somebody at work, a subordinate, he's got to be really effing sure it's not a passing fancy for either of them. He basically told Jaab that he thinks familiarity generally breeds contempt, hence why he's spending so much time with Pat; he's trying to take his own advice. But instead of feeling less he's feeling more, every day, every interaction. He doesn't know what Pat is feeling though, maybe he's alone in this, and if so he's not going to move forward. Pat is giving him hints that he likes him too, but again, is that something transient or something stronger and more rooted? He simply doesn't know. So yeah, he's not about to just randomly make out with him or confess how he feels. Jeng is very aware of the pitfalls here. He wants Pat to get to know him as both a boss and just a person, because he wants him to know that he can separate his professional and personal selves (jury currently out on how successfully that endeavour is going). He encourages Pat to be firm in his boundaries and speak up for himself because if/when he does confess, he wants Pat to understand and feel that he can say no. If/when Jeng does make a move, it will either be very restrained and polite, or EXTREMELY all-control-out-the-window messy. If Pat moves first, a distinct possibility, it will DEFINITELY be messy. 'How's this gonna happen? What's going to move the dial?' are the questions I am most excited to have answered by this series. What's certain is that whoever moves first will be absolutely mortified in the moment by their behaviour...lol.

I love this slow burn because it makes ABSOLUTE SENSE. It's not just two people holding back because the story has to be drawn out, there are real concrete reasons for them taking their time to suss each other out and decide what to do, even if they are attracted. If Pat is discovered to be dating the boss those vicious bitches at work will eat him alive. He has to determine if it's worth it to him. Jeng is already struggling to earn credibility and a level of respect from his subordinates. He also has to consider the reactions of his fellow managers and superiors, entangled with the additional mess of some of them being his family. He has to consider the impacts to Pat as well, he does have a duty of care to a young employee under his supervision. Just showing interest in Pat is an ethical minefield. And that's before you consider them being queer in a show universe where homophobia exists and will also impact them. There are so many reasons to go painfully slowly here, especially if he thinks he can just eventually get over his crush and not have to deal with any of this. It's a realistic portrayal of falling in love between subordinate/superior at work and I am enjoying the hell out of it.

[mhaynoot]

[orv major spoilers]

anyways we know that orv golden trio is reader, writer and protagonist. and youre thinking oh yeah kdj is the reader, hsy is the writer and yjh is the protagonist and yes youre right but also these titles and roles are transient and, as is in line with orv, characters do not simply remain predefined within the borders of their own boundaries

easiest and most obvious is kdj the reader into kdj the one who wanted to rewrite WOS's story and also into kdj the protagonist of orv. our dearest reader, writer and protagonist. he read a story, he dreamed and rewrote that story, and in doing so became the protagonist of his own.

but what about hsy? isnt she introduced as a writer and in the end also a writer? yes. and she read kdj's story to write his. she becomes his devoted reader, not only by his side during the 4 years of the scenarios, but also the 4 years she spends reading and writing his story. and i will argue she was one of the protagonists of the epilogue. she who was introduced as a villain and played the role of a "villainous" right until the final chapter. but, in line with the theme of change, she had then become the epilogue's protagonist. hsy and her writing process, it plays into the relationship between reader and writer, of the dialogue that becomes open between the words of another, the story of another and the transformative nature of story telling. if you reread orv with the lense thst hsy and kimcom and yjh are the ones writing down these words, you can understand how much love had shaped each letter. death of an author and all that but the author's words will always be a character own to itself.

and, in my opinion, most interesting of all is yjh. of course, he's introduced as the original protagonist of Ways of Survival. this grimly, tragic individual who could never move forward in time and stuck in the tragedy of an eternal hell. throughout the orv, you see kdj struggle with this relationship the most with yjh the regressor. but as you know, yjh eventually renounces his character and becomes the "yoo joonghyuk, ex-regressor". he had broken from the boundaries of the character and the story kdj had read to become his own person. this is important in his development espeically in the epilogue - yjh alone and barely surving and drifting through space with only the faintest wish and hope in a blinked out star. yjh, the former regressor, who doesnt know what to make of himself in a life without scenarios and a reader to watch over him, becomes a reader himself. he reads, reads and reads again to keep himself and his story alive in symbolic parellel to kdj using WOS to survive.

read and reread the novel. and when, he as one of orv's first reader, wanted to change the story's ending, well he became a writer too. although, we dont know the full extent of his editing but we do know that yjh probably did write some sections on his own, especially the ones from his perspective because there would probably be no way for hsy or anyone to extract and write his story, especislly when he was travelling through space.

reader, writer, protagonist - the lines between them are but a page turn away.

[mandareeboo]

🔥 Louie Duck's character arch?

Send Me a 🔥+ a Topic, and I’ll Tell You My Honest Opinion About It

It coulda been so much better. It was shaky at best a lot of the time.

We've all heard me yell about the grounding. How it was badly enforced, how the circumstances were fucky, etc. You can look back on the ducktales analysis tag and hear me caterwaul, so I'll avoid that part of the topic.

The point of Louie's arc is that he's supposed to learn that family is more important than money. But Louie?? Fucking knew that??? One of his core, key season 1 lines is "You kept a secret about mom. That is not okay." He sobs when his brothers fight. He got Gavin out of his house for free, and did it in a way that kept Huey and Dewey happy. Louie cares about his family. He's never once put money before his family. He usually puts them side by side, before giving up the gold to get away.

They give no reason for Louie's greediness and that makes it feel more difficult to work around. Is it a casual, playful want bc he likes toys? Is it a deep, consuming need because he grew up in a household that didn't always have the lights on and food was hotdogs thrice a week? It's never stated. We can't be sure of how deep the problem lies and where the boundaries should start. He's just supposed to know it's Bad and Give it Up and Move On. Louie's ten. Ten year olds don't want monetary safety for no reason. The kid needs therapy, and comfort, and to be weaned off that stuff. Going cold turkey is a great way to give him anxiety.

And move on to what, exactly? No one tries to give him any outlets to work on. He doesn't like adventures like the rest of his family. Dewey gets Launchpad and flying and Huey gets Boyd and helping Gizmoduck. Louie gets Goldie and Louie Inc, which is then closed. He gets Goldie, but Goldie is transient and isn't around often. His only friend is literally an old lady who steals from him. His only time working is Louie Inc, which is taken from him.

The closest thing to working outside a con he's allowed is when he calls Della out. So... what? His job is to keep his family honest? Why not give him a job, a place to start, a goal to work for? Instead it's No, Bad Louie, you should know better somehow. He has no options, he has no friends, and he has no outlet for his need for financial gain.

[sirfrogsworth]

Thankfully this post was a joke. He is not going to put a power cable on a TV that costs less than the actual cable. But I had to look up the product page and see what kind of nonsense AudioQuest came up with for this one. I've already checked out their $12,000 power cable, so I'm curious how their "budget" $430 version works.

-----------------------------

Low-Distortion 3-Pole Power Cable

Perfect-Surface Copper (PSC) with Silver-Plated Drain Wires

Quiet Background and Minimal Active-Circuit Misbehavior Due to RF/ND-Tech (US Patent # 8,988,168) & Direction-Controlled Conductors and Shields

ZERO (No) Characteristic Impedance (Uncompressed Current Transfer)

THE CHALLENGE: No matter how perfect an AC power source, distortion is added within any AC cable. Even the most sophisticated filters and power supplies cannot eliminate this Transient Intermodulation Distortion (TIM) as the induced RF noise modulates the low-level audio/video signal.

THE SOLUTION: NRG-Z3 cables use direction-controlled Perfect-Surface Copper (PSC) strands in a 7-strand Semi-Solid Concentric conductor arrangement in which strands are packed more tightly and never change position within the bundle. This construction significantly reduces strand interaction distortion. The extremely pure and smooth-surface PSC conductors minimize distortion caused by grain boundaries which exist in any metal conductor.

NRG-Z3’s patented RF/ND-Tech and direction-controlled Silver-Plated shield conductors efficiently drain RF noise from the line and neutral shields to ground via the third “ground” pin. In addition. NRG-Z3’s common-mode phase-cancelling array provides additional differential linear filtering. The net result is powerful, dynamic and immersive!

--------------------

Okay, Star Trek needs to hire these people to write their technobabble. This is next level "reverse the polarity" nonsense.

Gotta get that PSC to control the TIM or else you'll be SOL trying to minimize that grain boundary distortion. The phase-cancelling array is really the star of this cable though. Whenever I hear differential linear filtering, I'm just like, "THIS IS NOT DYNAMIC AND IMMERSIVE ENOUGH!"

[chronicallycouchbound]

About:

⌂ born in 1999 ⌂ on/off homeless ⌂ disabled ⌂ mad ⌂ neurodivergent ⌂ queer ⌂ trans ⌂ DID system ⌂ currently precariously housed ⌂ multi-marginalized ⌂ writer ⌂ artist ⌂ zero income ⌂ mixed race ⌂ community organizer ⌂ abolitionist ⌂ pagan ⌂

Essays:

May Your Hands Always Be Loud

Sword Canes Aren’t Badass. I am.

What’s So Wrong With Having Heroes?

Unlucky: Protective Factors and Homelessness

Homeless Delicacies and Finding Unhoused Joy

Internalized Ableism As Means For Unhoused Survival

Let People On Food Stamps Eat Hot Meals

Intelligence Doesn't Equal Morality

Homelessness as Trauma: Transitioning Into Housing

Winter Solstice / Homeless Persons Memorial Day

Guides:

Unhoused Solidarity in Action (how to help out unhoused people outside of just care packs)

Coming into Disability (best for newly disabled people)

Interacting with People with Psychosis

How to Support People

Underrepresentation in Homeless Statistics

Houseism

Tags:

Original Posts - #chronically couchbound

Unhoused Joy (Story Series) - #unhoused joy

Informational - #info

Guides - #guides

Reblogs - #rb

Mutual Aid Requests - #Mutual Aid Asks

Asks - #asks

Accessibility

I’m Hard of Hearing and require captions in order to interact with any video/audio. Any videos or audio I post will always have captions.

Sometimes, I don’t have the ability to add alt text, image descriptions, and/or plain text versions of posts, feel free to go back and add them if you’re able to and see them needed. I have Low Vision, transient blindness and visual disturbances due to some of my conditions and often require IDs myself. I try to avoid reblogging images without IDs. I try to go back and add IDs when I’m able.

My blogs are photosensitive safe. I will never post flashing lights, jump scares, or April Fool's jokes/pranks on any of my blogs.

Occasionally I post sensory-enriched/dopamine-friendly versions of posts that I have previously posted.

Boundaries

I live in the United States so my posts at times are more specific to USA policies. However, in other countries many of the same restrictions, barriers, and systemic issues exist and I hope some of my posts can be a starting point to your own research about your local government policies and issues.

Inbox is open for mutuals, asks are open for anyone else.

I don’t have a specific DNI list for this blog. I just ask that people be respectful and engage in appropriate conversation about the topics I bring up. Threats and just generally being hateful (+ unwilling to hear other perspectives) will earn you a block. It’s okay if you’re not the most “politically correct” or are uneducated— caring intentions matters more to me.

Other Blogs:

Hellenic polytheistic worship/main: @fireandfennel

System blog: @oleandersystem

Additionally, here’s my website

And here’s my cripplepunk playlist to listen to while you scroll!

And if you’re interested in supporting me and my writing, here’s my wishlist. I am unable to work and have been fighting for SSI with a lawyer since 2017. I have zero income and live entirely off of government aid. Many items I need aren’t covered by insurance or charity programs. This is the only way I am able to receive outside assistance from others without my government assistance vouchers being taken away.

[muiitoloko]

Hi! I was wondering if you take requests and if so, could you please do a harry hart hc! it could be anything at all from smut to fluff and anything inbetween! tysm

Author's Notes: Yes, I am accepting requests! Thank you very much for your order. I already had a headcanon of Harry in my drafts, but in writing I focused only on Harry Hart without including an original character or reader element. So I hope this satisfies your request. Thanks again for ordering!

Please let me know if there's anything specific you'd like to know about Harry Hart or if you have any other requests. I'm here to help you!

- Harry's life outside the spy agency revolves around his love for butterflies. He spends his free time as a lepidopterist, studying and collecting butterflies. His house is adorned with paintings of butterflies, and he has an extensive collection of stuffed butterflies displayed on his walls.

- Harry has a dedicated notebook where he sketches and draws intricate butterfly illustrations. He finds solace in the delicate beauty of these creatures and loses himself in the art of capturing their essence on paper. It's a private and therapeutic hobby that allows him to unwind from the demands of his spy life.

- In terms of his sex life, Harry is no stranger to one-night stands. His dangerous career and the commitment it demands make it difficult for him to maintain long-term relationships. However, he is a skilled lover who knows how to please a woman, adapting his approach based on his partner's preferences or his own mood at the time.

- While Harry can be rough and dominant in the bedroom, he is also capable of showing tenderness and kindness to his partners. He is perceptive and attentive, always attuned to their desires and needs. He enjoys exploring different dynamics and role-playing scenarios, creating a thrilling and fulfilling experience for both parties involved.

- Harry's encounters are discreet and carefully chosen, ensuring the safety of both himself and his partner. He values privacy and understands the importance of maintaining secrecy in his line of work. His rendezvous are passionate, but he never lets emotions get too involved, keeping a firm boundary between his personal and professional life.

- Despite his casual approach to relationships, there are times when Harry yearns for something more. He craves a deeper connection and companionship, but the nature of his work makes it challenging to pursue a traditional romance. He often finds solace in the arms of his partners, appreciating the fleeting moments of intimacy they share.

- Harry's encounters sometimes serve as an escape from the high-stakes world of espionage, allowing him to let go of the weight of his responsibilities and indulge in pure physical pleasure. It provides a temporary respite from the dangers and complexities of his life as a spy.

- When it comes to his partners, Harry is selective and values intelligence, confidence, and a sense of adventure. He is drawn to strong-willed individuals who can match his wit and engage him both mentally and physically.

- Harry's love for butterflies parallels his approach to relationships – appreciating their beauty and fleeting nature. He embraces the transient moments, cherishing them for what they are, but always aware that they may flutter away in an instant.

[thatgirl4815]

Maturity & Mirrors

I think where Only Friends succeeds in being more than just a messy romance drama is in the way it promotes long-term growth through the presentation of multiple transient (or potentially transient) relationships.

BostonNick

BostonNick’s relationship could be a good opportunity to capitalize on Boston’s individual maturity. Something transient—a person passing through your life for only few months or even mere weeks—could become the perfect mirror. Nick is that person to Boston. Their short term relationship spiraled into chaos, but this episode revealed to Boston that Nick’s obsession with him actually runs much deeper. The implications of Nick's feelings are what Boston could take with him in the future. (I'm kind of fascinated with the idea that maybe Boston and Nick don't end up together, but they remain close friends in the end.)

I find it ironic that Nick finally taking Sand’s advice to move on from Boston is the very thing that seems to bring Boston back to him. It takes Nick offering that closure in the form of a lengthy admission for Boston to realize what he’s missing with Nick--not only from Nick, but from himself.

Atom and Nick mirror each other for their seeming innocence. Clearly Atom is still coming to terms with his sexuality, whereas Nick started the series fully aware of his. We’ve been given the impression that Nick has never been in a FWB relationship before (at least, not one like this), and the emotions crept in before he could stop them. This seems to be the case with Atom as well. The way they match each other is so fascinating, because their relationship with sex stands in contrast to Boston's (@waitmyturtles wrote an excellent breakdown of the emotional aspect of sex in Ep6 here).

Nick and Atom don't seem to know each other at all, but I think they could start a good friendship over their mutual interest in Boston despite Boston's insistence that he only wants sex. Ironically, I think what Boston is learning through both experiences is that he has bound himself to a lifestyle that is slowly destroying him. I'd argue he's grown opposed to being viewed as a sexual object, but he doesn't know how to be anything else, so he stays in the cycle despite himself. He's tied his worth to his promiscuity, but he's coming to understand that he wants more than that.

SandRay

Similarly, Sand brings a mirror to Ray's issues, but not with the negative bluntness that Mew seems to. Sand's illuminating the harm that Ray is bringing to himself through his addictive habits--not only to himself but to others as well. It is a mirror, but it is also a call to action. There's an encouragement there that Mew's own lectures have been lacking in. What's so fascinating is that Sand has been able to bring out these issues in a healthy way in such a short amount of time. It got me thinking...maybe that's the point. Sand could bring out these flaws precisely because he hasn't known Ray before now. (@bird-inacage does a great job describing the parental love and support that Sand offers Ray here).

Looking the other way, all the drama with Ray is reminding Sand of his values. It's reaffirming to Sand just who he is and how he thinks of himself.

TopMew

I'm not sure how much they realize it, but Mew and Top are mirroring each other's insane superiority complexes. Top illustrates Mew's own fixation with boundaries, while Top has notably grown out of his previous promiscuous lifestyle (not to admonish him for this in any way, because it is not inherently wrong, but we've seen Top become more empathetic and tender as a result of his feelings for Mew). Top has learned what it is to be committed to someone, which I think he will carry with him even if things with Mew end on a bad note. I can't say with certainty yet, but it seems like Mew is learning the deep ties between love and forgiveness. He's also learning to interrogate his rigid values and lifestyle, much like Top has. In that way, I think Top and Mew are much more similar than they might think.

The question is, will Top and Mew maintain their superiority complexes? Or will breaking free of them be part of their growth?

~ X ~

Not sure if I really contributed much to the conversation here or just let myself ramble, but I'll tag the ephemerality squad for the references to transient relationships leading to long-term growth: @ranchthoughts @chickenstrangers @twig-tea @distant-screaming @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @wen-kexing-apologist @clara-maybe-ontheroad @kayatoasted

[dragongirldeity]

there's currently a very rare thunderstorm in San Francisco. i am sitting on my couch and generally enjoying this moment in life, because the past several years have been full of trials and tribulations. life is exhausting as a transfem, since my existence is first and foremost Political, and Up For Debate, while i largely just want to exist with my friends and loved ones and not be bothered.

of course, civilization being what it is right now, i am largely not afforded the luxury of getting to simply not be bothered about my existence. i can tune out some amount of it, for sure, but there's just such a volume of transmisogyny across society that it's always a status debuff i have to work against or put out of mind.

the past few years have been difficult, between graduating shortly before covid-19 (most of my 20s have been a weird haze of quarantining), amicably parting with my partner of 7 years (we have grown and simply have different wants now). i've never actually had many long-term support vectors in my life: i was sent to a religious high school, and wasn't allowed or able to keep in contact with any of my friends from growing up. i am estranged from my parents since they e-stalked me and have generally never respected my boundaries or autonomy as a person, and that's without getting into the mess of them Not Liking Me Being Queer. a lot of my friends have been moving away from the bay area, because building queer-trans community is Fucking Difficult when basically everyone in the bay area is only here transiently (and when a lot of queer stuff in the bay is cis-queer and not trans-queer, too). and that's why i myself am moving away later this year: much of my social graph has moved, and my attempts to regrow things here for the past year-and-change..... haven't been unsuccessful, but i think have helped me realize that even if i have a Fulfilling Social Graph here again, i would still be happier elsewhere, away from all the tech companies and nimbys and generally-constant sunny days (i am a vampire who enjoys the rain).

suffice it to say that life is generally difficult for a lot of trans people right now. life is difficult for your average people in general right now with the general socioeconomic situation we're in. life is more difficult for trans people, since we face nearly constant discrimination and harassment and hate and legislation. and then life can be even more difficult in typical life ways on top of that.

i still have things better than a lot of my peers: my computer autism means i have a reasonably stable job & career path. my best friend, whom i dearly love and cherish, was just in town visiting me last week. a few of my long-time internet friends live a few blocks away, and my two cats unconditionally love me. i do have people in my life who love me and care about my well-being. i am, blessedly, not alone in all this. and on top of all that i am fortunate enough to have found a pretty good therapist who can help me navigate and compartmentalize and process all of the struggles i face, since it's frankly a lot for a disabled autistic transfemme to navigate on my own.

the main thing that has been so hugely positive here is The Internet. the community i have would not really exist if not for The Internet. the social hubs that i cultivate and operate for my friends are, of course, on the internet. i meet friends-of-friends on discord and tumblr and telegram and whatnot, and it's truly great being able to be and feel so connected because of it.

and yet......... even on the internet, we are not free of anything. if anything, we're more vulnerable on the internet; our online identities and presences are intertwined, connected, and visible; it's easy for hateful motherfuckers to find the most vulnerable people online and go after them. if one part of your presence is found, it's a thread a stranger can try and unravel to expose you, to wield against you. at least in person, you can always put up a façade, walling off strangers and giving them nothing else to go off of; online, we just project an entity to be perceived, and often times aren't really aware of everything.

there's. a point here i wanted to make, somewhere. i wanted to say something with all this. i think it's that for a lot of us, we are just tired of all the fucking transmisogyny around every corner. it's already so much struggling to exist as a person In General at this moment in time. It's even harder having to face hate and struggle to exist even online just because you're a transfemme who wants to drop the façade around those like you. we're not allowed to have our own digital communities without outsiders wanting to look in and police us there, too.

for a lot of us, we are simply too tired and overwhelmed from everything else to also deal with this a lot of the time. and yet, deal with it we must, because we will be harassed. we will have headass CEOs saying headass CEO stuff. we will have politicians trying to legislate our right to exist away.

this is a lot to say that i don't regret anything about transitioning or whatever. i love being trans. it's a beautiful experience and i am much better for it, and am wholeheartedly glad to be trans, glad to know the trans people i know, and glad to love as i love. it is, truly, the neverending transmisogyny that is the problem, and it is truly exhausting having to deal with the transphobia and transmisogyny. nowhere is free from it except for the small insular exclusive spaces we carve out for ourselves.

take care of each other. love the transfemmes and transmascs in your life unabashedly, because there's functionally infinite amounts of hate we have to deal with at every corner, and aside from absolutely bodying the hate out of existence, the next best thing you can do to help is to support and love the trans people you know and treat them with compassion.