#trigun maximum headcanons

[tomatoswup]

"Can I get a-"

summary: Hi! Welcome to McDonald's! How may I take your order?

warnings/tags: crack!fic, legit just a crack fic, or aCTUALLY A CRACK!DRABBLE☝️☝️ mcdonalds propaganda, big breakfast and hash brown advocation, poor vash trying to work on a normal day, knives fist fighting a customer waffle house style, reader just wants their breakfast ;(

A/N: ....do i have to explain why i wrote this.....i found the whole mcdonalds au one of the funniest things the fandom could've come up with...it wasn't just a need it was a NECESSITY :D

"Order number 32!"

Ah yes, McDonalds at 7 in the morning, the beeps of the orders coming in, the beeping of the machines, and the bustling talking of the customers either sitting and eating or waiting for their orders.

McDonalds was a true staple of cryptic shopping for hunger.

But you could never get enough of their big breakfast and hashbrowns. And like a zombie, sometimes you found yourself in line some mornings before work.

But this morning seemed a bit...off.

"YOU'RE BURNING THE THE FUCKING HASHBROWNS WOLFWOOD!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

You couldn't help but watch a pancake fly in the air as you made your way to the counter. There, you were met with a kind faced worker, a cute one too! Peeking at his name plate that read "Vash", you gave him a soft smile, still feeling a bit tired.

"Hi! How can I help you?" He asked, returning the smile, the McDonalds hat on his head pushing down the tufts of blonde spikes of his, peeking under the hat.

But why was he wearing glasses? It was practically still dark outside...

"Hi, can I get a-"

"EXCUSE ME! WHY DID I NOT GET ANY LARGE FRIES!" Turning your attention to one of the customers right by you, both Vash and you jumped at the sudden slam of a receipt onto the counter to one of the other workers behind it.

A more pale, blonde man stood there, giving the rude customer one of the most stankiest faces you never thought some one could ever give.

If looks could kill, this man definitely could. He looked like he was about to jump over the counter and pounce on the man with the energy he was giving out.

Waffle House style.

"Err, sorry 'bout that.."Vash sweatdropped before looking back at you "What did you want to order?"

"Can I get uh-"

"JESUS FUCK MERYL DO YOU KNOW HOW TO FLIP A SAUSAGE?"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME!? I'VE BEEN WORKING HERE FOR 2 YEARS! YOU'RE THE NEW ONE!"

You took a step back when suddenly, you saw a flash of yellow flying towards the both of you.

WAS THAT AN EGG??

Oh fuc- "FUCK!" You shouted as you ducked, wait did you say duck? Or did you say fuck?

Looking back up, you saw pieces of egg hanging off the back of Vash's head as you put a hand over your mouth.

Oh noo...

"I'm so sorry-"

You got back up on your feet and leaned over to brush off the egg pieces from the back of Vash's head.

"And I thought today was gonna be a normal morning..." Vash exhaustingly sighed.

Suddenly, you heard a scuffle behind you, chairs moving and things toppling over.

What was going on!

Turning around, you watched as Nai fist fought the customer, chairs flying everywhere as Nai tackled the man into a table.

"HEY HEY KNIVES IS FIGHTING!!" You heard someone scream from the back before the influx of McDonalds workers came running from behind the counter, jumping over or going through the door entrance to aid him.

"GET HIS ASS KNIVES!"

"GET HIM OFF!"

"Oh we're getting sued..."

You couldn't help but just watch on, mouth agape at what just happened in the matter of 1 hour, before looking back at Vash, who kept his place behind the register, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.

"I'm so so sorry...Honestly, I can give you a free apple pie because of all this..." He apologized, shoulders drooping down.

"Oh um, it's okay, really." You couldn't help but chuckle "Rough morning huh?"

Maybe you should come back another day.

...At least the cashier was cute..

[supernova351]

Headcanon moment!!! Vash is canonically 5’11 from what I’ve seen, and Wolfwood is 6’0. But Vash is consistantly drawn taller than Wolfwood so I propose it’s all in his hair and bimbo boots. He and Wolfwood get an inn together for the first time and Vash tells Wolfwood the shower is ready and has good hot water. His boots are off and his hairs weighed down and he’s shorter than Wolfwood. Wolfwood makes a comment about how he should call him floppy instead of spikey and goes to shower and Vash is just silently brooding. Wolfwood passes him and Wolfwoods just like wait a damn minute

[h4venpha]

↳ 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘!! — vash the stampede

oh goodness vash’s number one love language is touch and i will die for it

- vash is such a naturally physical person. if that makes any sense!

- small touches come naturally to him, with anyone for that matter. an arm over your shoulder, hands brushing while walking together, or his knee is pressing against yours under the table.

- its a lot of unspoken meaning behind both his intentional and unintentional touches!

- as friends, vash who always ends up sitting way too close than he should, like hes got his whole upper arm pressed against yours and his warm thigh is right up on you. but hes all smiles and glittering eyes, like completely unaware of how hes affecting you.

- as a BOYFRIEND though.. he knows exactly what hes doing

- vash likes taking your hand in his under the table, he sometimes rests your hand on his thigh and places his hand on top of yours, keeping your touch on him like an anchor. like if somehow you werent touching him he’d pass out

- hes always holding your hand, intertwining fingers or locking your arms together. and hes so so smiley about it all the time

- on dates, sitting across from each other, he bounces one of his legs while the other is stretched out and hooked around your ankle. its such a small gesture but even just being a mere foot away from him, he cant help but keep contact with you

- casual touches where he finds himself mindlessly playing with the folds of your shirt or pants, pinching and rolling the fabric in between his fingers while he converses. also vash who when he notices a tiny TINY piece of lint on your shirt hes like “wait stop stop moving” and you freeze like ??? but after he pulls it off, hes like “okay anyway :D”

- aaaa at home, hes on you all the time! im pretty sure ive talked about this before, but hes hanging off of your arm and following you around wherever you go. he has never been alone at home other than in the bathroom. but even as water is dripping down his hair and hes practically still soaked, hes pouncing on you like a wet dog.

- and of course at the end of the day he cant fall asleep without you pressed flush against him. he has to be warm and snuggly or he cant sleep okay? its normal nightly procedure

[yuki-ume]

Trigun Maximum

•

1997-2007

[quee-quee]

[Modern AU] I just wanted them all to feel cozy together. And then my friend told me how he sneezed so hard he hit his forehead on the graphic tablet, and said it would be cute if something silly like that happened to Knives.

[arsvnist]

my babygirl , a spreadsheet of headcannons

[alexxuun]

So… Studio Orange released this character modeling concept recently. Like any normal person would do, here’s my height breakdown analysis. (Please note that this is concept from 2021 so it’s not the final model used in the anime)

I drew up some lines and it seems like Wolfwood is a few cm shorter than the twins base on his chin and head crown. The head guideline is guess work with how their hair’s pointing up but i tried to follow the shave side for the twins and the crown for Wolfwood. Tristamp Vash and Knives are 185cm (6’1”) and Wolfwood is around 183-184cm(6’0”).

While in Trimax, Nightow said vash is about 180cm (5’11”) and said Wolfwood is a bit taller (so assumed that he’s around 182-183cm or 6’0”). That’s all!

[autism-crime]

I’ve decided to make a little list of a bunch of Trigun headcanons I have. They don’t really apply to a specific Trigun, I kinda like picking bits and pieces of the various canons because it’s ✨fun✨

Anyway, here they are:

Vash wakes himself up by snoring.

Meryl talks in her sleep.

Wolfwood has a small bible that he keeps in his pocket. He doesn’t actually use it, and all the pages are covered in doodles.

Knives and Vash are trans, but it took them a while to figure it out because whenever they asked each other if wanting to be a boy was normal, they would just say “yeah it’s normal, I feel like that too”. Until they finally spoke to Rem about it.

Vash has chronic pain.

Wolfwood nicknames everyone he meets. He especially likes giving nicknames that are annoying.

Milly really likes drawing, and she’s very good at it.

Vash is able to sleep almost anywhere. Once he fell asleep in the footwell of the car, practically folded in half. Meryl has a picture.

Knives has scars on the tips of his fingers from biting his nails.

Vash listens to ABBA and Depeche Mode a lot.

Someone (Wolfwood) once bet that Milly couldn’t throw Vash. She could.

Razlo sometimes hides Livio’s stuff when he’s fronting because he thinks it’s funny. Livio finds it incredibly irritating.

Vash’s and Knives’s eyes are reflective, like a cat’s.

Knives has albinism

Once, when he was drunk, Vash accidentally stepped on a lizard and he held it and apologised for about half an hour. Even when it bit him.

[valitino]

i read a hc that nick is quiet by force of habit and…uhm uhhh…

[yuliasolsystem]

One of the most interesting aspects of Legato as a character is that he's the only one who makes both Vash and Knives act against their principles at some points.

Everyone already knows that Legato was the first human that Vash killed willingly and while fully conscious, but just before that Vash was able to break free of Legato's control by "throwing off the shackles of the no-kill rule".

Somewhere I already made a post trying to translate this part more accurately, but I'm too lazy to look for it. A rough translation is "Vash the Stampede's body. And the pointed wings that emerged from it. No supernatural force could hold it all down. But that's why, up until this very moment, these two [forces] have been in perfect opposition. They [Legato and Vash] didn't realize it themselves yet..."

"...but one thing has changed. It was the time Vash Stampede threw off the shackles of his no-kill rule that he'd bound himself with for decades."

I interpret it as follows: Vash subconsciously restrained his Plant powers by not wanting to kill Legato, thus helping Legato without even realizing it. In other words, in this scene Vash not only lets his "dark" side come out by starting to fight to kill, but also accepts his Plant nature. In other words, Legato succeeded in doing what Knives failed to do: earlier, even Knives couldn't force Vash to fight like Plant.

That's the case with Vash, but as I wrote Knives also occasionally behaves contrary to his own words and beliefs with Legato. I've written about this many times before, though. For example, in the post at the link below, I mentioned three instances where Knives left Legato alive even though he had no particular reason to do so.

Note that each of those decisions to let Legato live resulted in Legato saving Knives' life later. And it wasn't a "return favor" on Legato's part, nor was it a calculation on Knives' part (Knives is really overconfident and each time doesn't even realize he's in trouble). It's purely a narrative device to show how much Knives really needs Legato and that he's invincible as long as Legato is the exception to the "all humans are bad and must die" rule for him.

In fact, if Knives had gone a little farther and accepted Legato as someone important to him (or at least clearly defined their relationship), then probably even Vash wouldn't have stopped Legato. I mean, if Legato hadn't decided to play "who's better, you or me?" with Vash, and instead used his own powers in the most effective way possible, he would have simply taken the entire city hostage and Vash wouldn't have been able to do anything about it.

[tomatoswup]

sweet spot -`♡´-

summary: curiosity killed the cat they say at first, but it definitely brought it back. At the heat of the moment, you find a pretty hidden sweet spot of Vash's that you'll remember forever! Such a delicious face!

warnings/tags: Minors DNI, nsfw,,sprinkles of praise,, afab,, marking,, what if vash had an erogenous spot on the roof of his mouth,,and yeah fingers are going into mouths bestie,,, lil bully vash moment,, i dont know whether or not to put top!vash or submissive!vash because its kinda giving a mix of both,,,fuck it, its a tag now,, short drabble,,,plant dynamics

there might be mistakes bc i wrote this at bumfuck 2 AM and i can't read straight, i really almost wrote fetty instead of pretty like???

A/N: You know whats funny, I wrote this at first with a focus on Vash's sharp canine teeth (title was originally gonna be show me your teeth)but the most brilliant idea popped up in my head i needed to write it. still kept the teeth and marking part in bc :P i hope i didn't write this like a dentist visit LMFAOO,,im sorry if this didn't make sense i need to sleep lmfaooo ENJOYYY~

p.s: theres an small extra at the bottom :D

Vash was certainly somewhat of a wacky guy.

NOT in a bad way, definitely not! You loved him with all your heart but there were a few things he left you so curious about, especially after confessing his plant origin to you that while back.

So you often observed him, how he interacted with others, whenever he was proud, shy, nervous or angry. And every time he grinned or gave people a big smile, you always peeped at those sharp canines of his. Were they normally that pointy? Or what it because he was a plant?

"Hey Vash..." You called out to him one day as the group walked into an inn for the night.

"Eh?" He turned to look down at you, an innocent smile on his face "What's up?"

There perhaps may have been a mistake asking him that question, especially when the both of you had been a bit worked up over the month. The roads have been tough, and the two of you haven't had a moment alone together in so long.

As night arrived, the moans and groans of the bedroom grew louder and thank god everyone had gone to the local pub for the night, leaving the both of you to ravish each other in peace, even if it were just for a few hours.

You wouldn't have been able to face everyone if they heard.

Each buck of his hips into you had you gasping for air as the dull pain of his grip on the side of your thigh had you wanting to run laps around the room. Well.. if you could.

With legs keeping a tight wrap around Vash's hips, your grip on the sheets around you had the whites of your knuckles showing. It felt a bit embarassing as Vash towered over you but did you really care? nope

"You look so beautiful.." He moaned out, delivering another hard thrust into your gaping hole as the dirty squelching noises of cum mixed in with both of yalls' heavy breathing and panting.

Vash did think you looked quite heavenly though. The hickeys, the bite marks on your shoulders and around your breasts, he really wished he could see you like this everyday if he could.

"Won't you.." You whimpered "..look at your self p-prettybo- Oh~" Did you finish your sentence? You couldn't really tell by the way Vash's cock hit that delicious spot in you, making you tighten your legs around him to get closer, to leave no space.

To leave nothing.

"C-Can't even tell me what you wanna say?"

God he made you dizzy, the stickiness of both your bodies together and him dragging his tongue around your nipples made you less lucid than you thought you had been. You tried to catch your breath, you really did, but it had gotten hard to as the coiling feeling at the core of your stomach made you just want a bit more.

just a bit...

Opening your eyes, you hazily looked at Vash’s flushed face, sweat starting to show on his forehead and the blond strands of hair starting to stick to it as he gave you a cheeky grin that made you laugh amidst the pleasure. Letting one hand go from the bundled up sheet above your head, you shakily lifted it up to his face and caressed his cheek.

"V-Vash.." You hitched out, the pad of your thumb brushing over his swollen pink lips before they entered his mouth in the heat of the moment.

And Vash accepted, giving you a small groan as you felt the his saliva coat it, and his teeth graze it. But suddenly, when your thumb accidentally hit the roof of his mouth, specifically his palate, you watched in awe.

In pure awe actually, as Vash's eyes fluttered shut, letting out a choked and long moan you've never heard before.

Desperation.

Need.

Holy shit.

You felt his cock start to twitch in you as you let out a breathy chuckle "A plant thing I missed?"

You moved your thumb to caress his palate one more time as you felt his thrusts lose rhythm, the pure look of pleasure washing over his face as the tips of his brows furrowed and the grip on your thigh tightened. He had lost his composure, turning into jelly just because of that touch.

You found a sweet spot of his that you didn't know about..

And oh fuck he looked pretty just like that.

You shuttered at the sight of Vash's blissed face as the edges of his ears turned red, his eyes only opening just enough for you to see the tad bit of watering. "Mpfh..."He whined out in need muffled by your finger before suddenly, the strong, deep thrust of his cock into your cervix had you arch your back and gasp, making you quickly take your finger out of his mouth to desperately grab his shoulder.

"I'm sorry.." He panted, a line of saliva running down the corner of his mouth as you felt him get bigger inside you, causing you to mewl at the sudden change. Feeling large calloused hands finding themselves at your waists, you looked back at Vash as the patterns of blue scattered over his face and scarred chest "Hold on..." Your eyes widened at the realization of his words.

"W-WAIT- AH!~”

Oh isn't Vash just so cute!

extra:

-homeboy just railed you to oblivion and thinks you can walk normal the next morning? PFTTTT

-You made sure to give Vash a playful punch on the shoulder when the both of you awoke in the morning.

-"and you didn't tell me that you had a spot on the top of your mouth?"

-"ya know, i had completely forgot about that hahaha -queue vash shyly scratching the side of his cheek.

-and you wonder how he could be shy after the way he fucked you sideways,, QUITE LITERALLY

-you make sure to try and touch it with your tongue when the both of yall make out though🫶

-plant tingz💕

-have fun! :D

[supernova351]

How I think Vash got some of his major scars! I obviously will be talking about violent topics so general warning for that. I’m mainly going to be going off of these three panels.

The serrated scar around his left bicep is pretty obvious: someone tried to cut his arm off. Someone who wasn’t knives, as the wound would be much cleaner. I think they probably got a good amount, it looks like it had to be stitched together.

The scratchs on Vashs abdomen and shoulder d imply that he was probably cut up by an animal, but I don’t think that’s the case. The only two native animals we see on No Man’s Land are the Thomas’s and the Sand worms. But Thomas don’t have three clawed feet.

They have two talons per foot, so it likely wasn’t a Thomas. Considering the weapons on NML I’d assume it was probably clawed gloves. Frankly it looks like he was gored

I like to think the metal lattice on the sides of his ribcage and the bolts on his hips are probably combined as some sort of internal brace, maybe a back injury or spinal fusion. Probably someone shooting or stabbing to close to the spine.

The large scar across his clavicle and the ones on his legs look like stylized whipping scars. I’d put a picture, but if you want to know look it up yourself.

And the waffle titty my beloved. I think it’s there to protect his heart.

If you have any headcanons on how Vash got his scars drop em i want to see

[h4venpha]

↳ 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐘 𝐁𝐅 𝐕𝐀𝐒𝐇 — vash the stampede

vash brainrot headcanons cuz i watched tristamp and i cant stop thinking abt him

- he’s a clingy boyfriend. like 100%.

- big puppy boyfriend who likes to follow you around and watch you do literally anything.

- getting up in the morning is the worst especially when he’s still sleepy

- he’s got his arms loosely wrapped around your waist, his prosthetic hard as he squeezes against your side. and you have to drag him into the bathroom when you get up to brush your teeth.

- youre weakly pushing him off but he’s still got a strong hold on you even half asleep. so you end up brushing your teeth over the sink as he slumps himself against your back, nuzzling into your shoulder as his blonde hair falls over your neck.

- you’ve got on one of his shirts and its big and practically falling off your figure, revealing your skin underneath. and his fingers are slipping under it, cold, prosthetic fingers pressing into your warm skin causing a shiver to run down your back. and when you almost choke on your toothpaste from the chill, he only chuckles softly.

- oh and his voice is so raspy in the mornings.. much different from his normal cheery tone. late at night and early in the morning, it takes on a husky sound to it, kind of rough around the edges when he speaks. oh and he speaks so slowly and calm. its always deep and rumbly whenever he’s laying on your chest in bed.

- and honestly, he likes to be the small spoon let be real! he’s not ashamed or embarrassed, he simply loves you. so he’ll cuddle up under the covers and wrap his arms tightly around your waist while he buries his head in your neck or chest.

- huge boyfriend who also likes it when you gently pet his hair when youre in bed with him.

- but also other times he likes to be big spoon. completely enveloping you in his body, hes curling around you, arms and legs. and its honestly almost uncomfortable with the way he curls up on you, its restricting and so so so warm, hes definitely a living heating pad.

- but like ? he doesnt even realize.. he just likes cuddling and being close to you ‘wym its too hot? ^^’

- also i feel like at night, he literally never lets you go. like even in his sleep, he knows where you are and where to reach for you to pull you back in. his arms are strong and firm against your sides even as he sleeps

okay vash sleepy brainrot over :3 wolfwood headcanons next idk maybe !!

[yuki-ume]

Trigun Maximum

•

1997-2007

[mr-shimurka]

Vashwood week — names?) or somehow.

Hdc Vash swallows letters in words

[beaulesbian]

ok trimax chapter 1, i know this bit from the 98 anime, but it’s even better to read it

still funny how this worked (a different version how to wake up a sleeping beauty asjdk)

the arrow to his hand ⬇️, if you even care

bc it’s important he’s saying hello to wolfwood lol

also wolfwood’s smile here right after ♥