#truly well deserved what a fantastic game

[nag-mamahal]

BALDUR'S GATE 3 GAME OF THE YEAR!!!

[teafiend]

Let me make a detour from my usual KDrama rare pairs to fangirl scream about this pairing. This show has tropes galore to make a shipper like me go squeeing to high heavens. Love this for me and the show, truly❣️

While not wholly a rare pair as this pairing from the drama itself has a number of high quality FMVs to fangirl over - and the overwhelmingly more popular ship with viewers - and there exists a tiny amount of fics in Korean, on Ao3, the fics (in English) for this pairing is basically nonexistent. A sad state of affairs, certainly, but the main female character is generally beloved, and the number of FMVs enough to tide me over for a time, so all in all, this is a very wonderful ship for me to have fun with.

Compared to some of my other rare pairs, this ship is unironically a major, major comfort! There is extremely little frustration to be had although fan content is not in abundance either. A lovely, sexy and peaceful ship 🥰🥹

[tinyclowndancer]

I wish it would shatter Like glass under my heels Just like a sheet of ice When I close my eyes That’s how the mirror feels Oh mercy Thousands have gone missing Beyond the labyrinth of me When you’re lost You’re lost in your own company

[fandom]

Top 23 of 2023

Have you been aching to get your hot little hands on 52 weeks of data around original posts, likes, reblogs, and searches, all weighted and ranked and tied up into categories with a nice little bow on top? Well, today’s your day! It should come as no surprise that Artists on Tumblr reign supreme: from stunning traditional art, jaw-dropping digital art, fanart, sculptures, textile art—you name it, basically—this year’s list shows that Tumblr truly is the home for art and artists. Thank you, Artists on Tumblr, for enriching our dashboards day after day. 

Rounding out the top three, we have two iconic shows: Good Omens is live-action, and The Owl House is animated, but both have a heck of a love story at their core. The second season of Good Omens blessed us with not one but two ineffably exquisite ships, while the final season of The Owl House broke and then healed fans’ hearts in equal measure. Thanks, @danaterrace! Actually, come to think of it, the Good Omens finale kinda did the same in reverse. Thanks to you, too, @neil-gaiman! We can’t wait for season 3. 

Speaking of heartbreak and healing, Our Flag Means Death’s second season offered both in droves. The entire cast gave stellar performances, and fans couldn’t have been happier to see the kinds of representation the show displayed. Last year’s #1 topic, Stranger Things, may have dropped a bit, but trust us, you wouldn’t know it from the amount of meta, fanart, and fics in the tag. And did you hear about the live-action adaptations of both The Last of Us and One Piece? They were a preeeetty big deal this year, too. Check ‘em out if you haven’t yet (lol, of course you have). And we’d be remiss not to mention the hugely dedicated fans, fanartists, and fic writers devoting their time to all things Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Y’all deserve a little pizza, as a treat.

2023 was also a year for blockbuster movies, which of course hasn’t escaped anybody’s notice here on Tumblr. Barbie smashed box offices worldwide and left us reeling with every re-watch. How can one describe Greta Gerwig’s pink-filled opus? It certainly is one of the movies of all time. Meanwhile, with its incredible animation and soundtrack, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse introduced us to a whole new multiverse of Spider-People, opening the portal to a veritable flood of incredible OCs. And then, of course, we got a fresh perspective on an old classic when cinephiles introduced Martin Scorscese’s cinematic masterpiece, Goncharov (1973), to a new generation of film aficionados who resoundingly agree that it is, in fact, the greatest mafia movie ever made. We’re so glad this underrated film finally got the acclaim it has long deserved.

In the realms of gaming and tech, the long-anticipated Baldur’s Gate 3 has basically become everyone’s new favorite D&D/dating sim combination. Of course, the Pokémon franchise, games, shows, and Hatsune Miku collabs remain perennial favorites. Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter, sorry, we mean of course X, made waves across the internet. Similarly, the Reddit blackout drove Redditors to new venues, and Tumblr users welcomed the folks from r/196 with open arms—we’re huge fans of your memes, y’all, and you fit right in. Welcome, we’re glad you enjoy the chaos. Here’s a fun fact: if we included post metadata in Year in Review rankings, #polls, introduced in January of 2023, would have been the #5 topic on Tumblr this year. Phenomenal. 

And, oh right. Taylor Swift had kind of a big year, what with the albums, the epic global tour, and the movie and stuff. Fantastic work, @taylorswift, the Swifties on Tumblr thank you for everything.

This is Tumblr’s Year in Review.

Artists on Tumblr

Good Omens

The Owl House

Barbie

Pokémon

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Critical Role

Goncharov

Taylor Swift

Genshin Impact

Stranger Things

The Last of Us

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Elon Musk

196

Star Wars

Our Flag Means Death

Crowley | Good Omens

LGBTQ

Cottagecore

Baldur's Gate 3

One Piece

Aziraphale | Good Omens

[justauthoring]

change in perspective.

you never thought jamie tartt could be anything but a prick.

a/n: i have no explanation for this other than i just finished ted lasso (fashionably late as always) and this man makes me giggle like a little school girl :) (this is also not spellchecked! i'll do it later ;))

pairing: jamie tart x f!assistant coach!reader

“Does someone want to explain to me just what exactly Jamie Tartt is doing out on the field?”

All three coaches turn to you at the sound of your voice, but it’s Ted’s eyes that light up the second he registers your presence. A smile curls onto his lips as he turns to face you, posture nonchalant with his hands shoved into his pockets. “Ah! Well, if it isn’t my favourite assistant coach, Y/N! I was worried something had happened.”

Blinking back at Ted, you simply cross your arms over your chest. “What is Jamie doing out on the field?”

Ted lets out a laugh but it comes across more as a grimace as he rubs the back of his neck, turning his head to glance at Nate and then Beard. 

It’s Beard who explains. 

“Ted invited him back to the team.”

The water bottle you’d been holding in your hands promptly falls to the ground with a thud as your lips part, mouth left wide open, staring blank faced at Ted who continues to laugh somewhat uncomfortably.

“What?”

Beard raises his hands as if to gesture that he is an innocent party in your accusation all whilst you shift your shocked expression to a glare at Ted.

“Well, you know… I–I just thought that, well… he’s a good player, yeah?”

Shaking your head, you huff; “regrettably so.” Because even you weren’t bitter enough to not admit that Jamie was a great football player. Fantastic really. But–But he was an absolute prick who you’d thought you’d never have to work with ever again.

“And this team needs a little something to spice us up, yeah?” Ted, in Ted style, does a little dance (that’s meant to make you laugh) to add to the effect of his words.

“No,” you say blankly, before Ted raises a brow at you. Sighing, your shoulders fall. “Yeah.”

Offering you a smile, Ted rests his hand on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Give him a chance, okay?” He asks, his eyes pleading as he nods down at you. “I think he really means to make up for it all.”

You seriously doubt that. But, you don’t voice that opinion.

“Fine,” you surrender, dropping your hands to your side. “But I’m allowed to laugh at him when this team kicks his arse. Which they will because he deserved it.”

Ted snorts at that, “don’t worry, Nate’s already got you beat on that front.”

Your eyes shift to said man, and he’s sending you a wide grin and a thumbs up in a way that makes you chuckle despite how truly unhappy you were with Jamie only a few feet away from you, on your team.

-

The only thing that had made practice somewhat bearable was seeing Jamie repeatedly knocked on his ass.

And then mocked by the rest of the team.

Truly, it brought a smile to your face.

You’re still laughing to yourself about it as you finish packing up your stuff in the office you shared with Nate. Him, Ted, Beard and pretty much most of the team were already gone or on their way out the door, but you usually elected to stay a little longer than everyone else trying to come up with new gaming strategies, plays and honestly, team bonding exercises since you found it incredibly important that the team genuinely care for one another if they were going to play on a team together.

You’re just sliding your laptop into your bag when a knock pulls you from your musings.

“Oh, Sam, just give me–”

Except, it isn’t Sam when you finally glance up. It’s Jamie.

You’re leaping to your feet before you can stop yourself, a surge of panic running through your body as your wide eyes meet his. He’s blinking back at you, as if as shocked by your reaction as you were, and before you know it you’re glancing around, half expecting Ted or Beard to be there because why else would Jamie be here?

But neither of them are there, of course, they’d left twenty minutes ago.

“Coach Lasso and Beard have already left,” you explain before he can say anything. “You’re gonna have to wait until tomorrow to talk to–”

Shaking his head, Jamie takes a step towards you. “I wasn’ lookin’ for them. I, uh… was lookin’ for you actually.”

You blink. Once, twice, before your brows furrow. “What?”

He steps towards you again, fully stepping into your office as he scratches at his face absentmindedly, looking just as uncomfortable as you felt. He glances around for a moment before his gaze focuses back on you, and the serious expression on his face is one you’re not used to or know how to react to so you continue to stare blankly at him.

“I wanted to, em, apologize, I guess? Actually, no, not I guess. I am sorry. And I want to apologize for how I treated ya in the past. You know, for all the shitty things I said and did.”

You must be dreaming.

Surely, you’re dreaming.

There’s no way that the Jamie Tartt, famed football star and resident asshole, is apologizing to you. Some random female assistant coach on a team he’d once laughed at for existing? Yeah. Not possible.

But… it’s either that or he’s taking the piss out of you.

Whatever it is, the shock fades in seconds and is quickly replaced by an indescribable amount of anger. 

Because, honestly? Screw him. Screw him for thinking he could walk in here, say sorry and it’d all be okay. After all that he did.

“You’re sorry?” You ask, pointing at him.

He nods, slowly. 

“That’s funny,” is what you end up saying, letting out a snort as he blinks at you in surprise. “You sure didn’t seem sorry all those times you laughed at me when I tried to coach you. What was it you used to say?” You quirk a brow at him as his face falls, the hopeful glint that you’d accept his apology fading from his eyes as you laugh at him. “Oh, that’s right! That I wasn’t meant to be a coach because I’m a woman and rather, I should just look pretty and help make you look good. And if it wasn’t you belittling me for my job, it was you trying to get in my pants and then laughing about it as if that’s some sort of joke.”

You finish your rant with a huff, shoulders rising and falling heavily as Jamie continues to stare back at you.

You hadn’t really realized how much his comments had truly hurt until that moment. Or, rather, you’d pushed them down so far to the back of your mind that it had been bubbling up until this very moment where he tries to apologize offhandedly like that was going to somehow make things better.

“I may have only known you for a little bit before you left us for Manchester, Jamie,” you add, voice considerably calmer as you frown at him. “But you sure left an impression. And one little apology is not gonna make up for the amount of times I went home crying and feeling worthless, because of you.”

Jamie doesn’t say anything. His lips part like he means to you, but he ends up just gaping at you like a goldfish, looking rather stupid, before there’s a light knock on the door and you’re pulled from your thoughts only to find Sam poking his head into the office. He looks concerned, eyeing Jamie out of the corner of his eye with a certain edge, before turning to you.

Biting your lip, you blink, hating the way your vision blurs and quickly you wipe at your face before any tears can fall.

You refused to cry in front of Jamie.

“Just a second, Sam,” you call, offering him a small, somewhat forced smile. You turn to your desk, grabbing your bag and doing a quick survey to make sure you hadn’t forgotten anything before promptly pushing your way past Jamie and slipping past Sam. He sets a hand on your back to guide you forward, blocking you from Jamie’s view and you don’t see it, but just before Sam turns to walk away himself, he’s sending Jamie a rather nasty glare.

The message is clear; leave her alone.

-

The next morning there’s a vase of flowers sitting on your desk.

Nate is eyeing them when you walk in, before he blinks at the sight of you and quickly turns away as if afraid you caught him staring. You just blink at him, before looking at the flowers once more.

Poking your head out to the main office, you gesture over your shoulder; “where’d the flowers come from?”

Beard raises his hands in a silent gesture that they’re not from him, before your gaze falls to Ted.

“Don’t look at me,” he shrugs. “You’d know if I got you flowers,” he winks with a light chuckle and rolling your eyes as you make your way to your desk. There’s a card in front of the vase and as you take a seat, you take the card, flipping it open.

All that’s written on it is the name of the flowers; Lily of the Valley.

Frowning, you let your eyes wander across the white flowers, leaning forward to smell them and letting your eyes fall shut at the sweet scent. 

Only thing is, who sent them?

Leaning back on your chair, you peek into the locker room, trying to see who of the players is there. There’s not too many. There’s Sam, but you walked in with him so you know it’s not him, also he most likely would’ve just given them to you if he was going to get you a bouquet of flowers. Isaac’s there, but you doubt he’d give them to you. Richard and Dani are there, but they're much too forward to try and secretly give you flowers.

And then your eyes fall on Jamie. He’s already looking at you, but he’s quick to glance away the second your eyes fall on him, his cheeks turning a bit red.

Your brows furrow.

It couldn’t–

“Apparently, Lily of the Valley symbolizes apology. Specifically when one doesn’t know how to apologize.” Nate explains, reading off of his phone, the card from your desk in his other hand, before he glances at you with a curious smile. “I wonder who wanted to apologize to you?”

You glance at Nate, before the flowers, before peeking back at Jamie who’s tying the laces of his boots, pointedly not glancing up.

Moving back towards your desk, you stare at the flowers a moment longer.

What the actual hell.

-

“Oh, just–”

Before you can properly register the voice, a blur of blue is suddenly in front of you, opening the door you’d been about to open yourself before your hand can even reach for the handle.

Slowly your eyes flicker upwards to fall on Jamie as he stands beside you, holding the door wide open, a rather proud smile plastered onto his face.

“There ya go,” he offers, head tilting towards the door. “Ladies first.”

Quirking a brow, you nod at Jamie slowly, stepping through the door while you try to fight the smile that threatens to curl onto your lips.

“Smooth, Tartt,” you offer over your shoulder.

He grins back at you, nodding at you.

You can’t help the laugh, however, when instead of stepping through the door like you expected (assuming he’d only done it cause he needed something from here in the first place), he lets the door shut with a goofy wave, leaving you alone in the room.

Pausing, you shake your head.

That was new.

-

“And you, Coach?”

It takes you half a second to realize Jamie is talking to you and you only really realize it because Ted, Beard and Nate are all looking at you, waiting.

Blinking, you swallow thickly, eyes falling back on the team only to see they’re all staring at you as well, also waiting. Your eyes fall on Jamie and he’s smiling at you, happy and all teeth as he rocks on his feet, patiently waiting for you to say anything you might or might not have to say.

It’s not like the rest of the team hadn’t ever asked you for your opinion or if you had any pointers. And of course Ted made sure to consistently ask for your suggestions, wanting to make sure you felt your voice was heard and included.

As the only female coach for a male’s football team, you’d managed to find yourself an incredible group of boys who listened to you despite your gender and actively made sure to try out anything you suggested.

But never had you ever had all their attention like you do in that moment. All of them just standing there, solely focused on you.

And that was because of Jamie.

Biting your lip, you shuffle on your feet. “Oh, well… I–”

But your voice is shaky and you’re not sure how to say what you want, but as your eyes flicker back over to Jamie he’s still grinning at you, smile never wavering and he’s sending you a thumbs up.

As if to say; you got this.

And then the words just seem to pour from your lips after that.

-

The addition of Roy Kent to the line up of coaches is both positive and negative.

And really, it isn’t negative for anyone but yourself. Not that having Roy on the team was negative, just, well… It was already hard enough being the only women assistant coach with two other men, but now you were competing with three men and Roy was nothing if not an intimidating and commandeering addition to the team.

His desk had been squished in between yours and Nate’s and while the man was lovely, if not a little aggressive, by the end of his first day you found yourself drained and feeling like a fool. Roy wasn’t just another man, but he was a previous football star himself; he had the on field experience to back up his suggestions and he knew what he was talking about so that when he did say something, no one really batted an eye to his suggestions.

Or, at least, questioned them.

Worst part was you liked Roy. Sure he swore a lot, and sometimes he’d grunt instead of replying to you but before he’d had to leave the team, he’d always listened to your suggestions with an open mind and never made you or the suggestions feel less just because it was a woman saying them. He was an absolute sweetheart underneath all of the gruff, and you knew him outside of work quite well as well because he was dating Keeley.

So, with the jealousy that you couldn’t help but have, you also felt extremely guilty. 

“Are… Are you alrigh’?”

Gasping, you sit up at the voice, panicked eyes glancing around until you settle on Jamie.

“Jesus, Tartt,” you breathe, pressing a hand to your chest as you shake your head. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” he offers with a light laugh. “I didn’ mean to.”

“It’s fine,” you sigh, letting yourself relax once more as you slump against the wall behind you, pulling your knees closer to yourself. “I just thought I was alone. Didn’t think anyone would come wandering in here.”

Jamie steps into the room at that, letting the door shut behind him as he nods. “Saw you come in ‘ere,” he explains, taking a seat across from you. “Wanted to make sure you were alrigh’”

Shaking your head, you brush him off; “I'm fine.”

“You, um… you sure?”

Turning to Jamie, he’s staring back at you in a way that tells you he doesn’t believe you. He’s got a concerned look in his eyes and he’s fidgeting with his fingers, his knee rocking nervously as he tries to find the words to say.

Sighing, you shake your head; “it’s stupid.”

“Not when it comes to ya.”

Blinking, you turn to Jamie, lips parted in surprise. Except, he doesn’t seem shocked by what he said or embarrassed. He continues to stare back at you with that concerned look in his gaze, patiently waiting for you to explain what’s going on.

“It’s just… It’s hard,” you start, struggling to find the words. How do you explain to him, not only a man but the same man that used to belittle you for the exact same thing you’re feeling self conscious about, that you feel like you’re being tested in your own job everyday just because you’re a woman? You weren’t sure he’d understand. And honestly, although you’ve seen the changes in him and regrettably started to believe them, you weren’t positive he wouldn’t just laugh at you for it anyways.

And yet, you continue to speak.

“Being what I am at my job,” you add, eyeing him carefully.

Jamie frowns. “Being a woman?”

Inhaling sharply, you nod; “yeah. I know Ted and the rest of the guys would never belittle me or make me feel less because I am, but… It’s just hard being the only woman coach for a team of men. Even if you guys don’t mean to, and I know you don’t, you all naturally gravitate towards Ted and the guys more than you do me.”

Lips parting, Jamie stares back at you.

Avoiding his gaze, you glance down at your lap. “Makes me doubt myself sometimes.”

“Oh.”

Nodding, you pull at a thread on your pants. “Yeah. Oh.”

Silence follows and you feel ten times more uncomfortable as the seconds pass. You can still feel Jamie’s gaze on you, watching, waiting, maybe trying to find something to say, and it’s making you feel more and more embarrassed as time goes. 

Shaking your head, you suddenly move to a stand.

“Anyways, it’s late so you should–”

“I think yer an amazing coach.”

Lips left parted, you turn, only to find Jamie suddenly standing in front of you.

“You make great strategy plays, you are undeniably smart about the terminology and nobody cares about the wellbeing of the team more than you,” he continues, his gaze never once faltering. “You cheer us on and never ever make us feel like we’re doing something wrong or stupid for askin’ for help. I know it feels like we listen to the guys more, but every single one of us leans on your advice heavily and we’d be lost without yer support and guidance.”

Eyes widening, you don’t realize it until you blink that you’re crying.

Your hand falls to your cheek, feeling wetness.

“Shit,” Jamie curses and your eyes fall back on him. “I didn’t mean to make ya cry, I just–”

Your arms wound around him before he can finish, pulling him flush against you as you press your head into the crook of his neck. Jamie freezes at the touch, body tensing but just for a second before he eases, his own arms coming around to wrap around you in return.

“Thank you,” you whisper to him, “I… Thank you so much.”

“O-Of course,” he murmurs, voice low and you can feel his chest rumble against your cheek. “I just… thought ya should know.”

Biting your lip, you pull back at that, quickly wiping the tears off your cheeks as you step away from him. Jamie lets you go with ease, both of your cheeks red, yours burning when you realize you’d not only just flung yourself at him but you’d gotten his shirt wet with your tears.

“I.. I’m sorry,” you whisper, gesturing to his chest. “I didn’t mean to cry on you.”

Jamie shrugs; “no worries, love.”

Meeting his eyes, the two of you stare at each other for a moment, before you’re quickly stepping past him. “Anyways, I should… I should go.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah. Me… Me too.”

Reaching for the door, you glance back at him; “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Nodding, Jamie grins down at you; “see you tomorrow.”

-

“We’ve got a problem.”

Both Keeley and Rebecca turn to you at your words, whatever they’d been saying promptly getting cut off the second they see the panic on your face.

Rushing you inside, they settle on either side of you on Rebecca’s couch in her office, Keeley’s arm wrapped around your waist and Rebecca offering you a cup of tea as they turn to you with concerned eyes.

“Okay, lay it out,” Rebecca says, “what’s wrong and who do I have to fire?”

Letting out a light laugh, you shake your head. “You don’t have to fire anyone.”

“Good,” she nods, “because I didn’t want to fire anyone.”

Rolling your eyes teasingly, you take a sip of your tea before reaching forward to set it on the table.

“Okay, then, babes,” Keeley speaks up, frowning at you, “then what’s the matter? You came in here looking like something horrible’s happened.”

Letting out a groan, you press your hands to your face; “that’s because something horrible has happened.”

“What?” Keeley presses, squeezing your arm.

Taking a deep breath, you hesitate a moment, eyeing the both of them, before you whisper in shame; “I think I fancy Jamie.”

There’s a beat of silence, before;

“Like Tartt?” Keeley asks, eyes widening in absolute surprise. “Jamie Tartt? Our Jamie Tartt?”

“Like on my team Richmond, Jamie Tartt?” Rebecca adds, pointing at herself before gesturing to her office.

Cheeks burning, you hide your face in your hands again. “Yes.”

Keeley and Rebecca eye each other for a moment, before Rebecca’s pulling your hands away from your face.

“Y/N.”

You just shake your head, trying to grab a pillow to further hide yourself.

“Babes, stop,” Keeley laughs lightly. “Explain to us why you fancy Jamie.”

“Yeah,” Rebecca encourages. “It’s alright.”

Hands falling to your lap with a huff, you frown. “It’s all his fault,” you whine. “Because he’s trying to be better now and I can’t handle that. Before, you know, when he was a prick, that’s just it! He was a prick. And I’m sorry Keeley for saying this but I always found him a little attractive.”

Snorting, Keeley shakes his head; “babes, why do you think I dated him?”

Biting your lip, you sigh. “But he was awful, right?” She nods and Rebecca snorts, clearly feeling that’s an understatement. “And when he came back, I was so mad. Mad because he was so mean and laughed at me and belittled me for being a woman, and not to mention he was terrible to the whole team. Like when he used to bully Nate or hog the ball and never give Sam a chance to show his skill.”

They both nod to your words.

“So I was upset. Upset because he was back and because Ted didn’t tell me or ask me how I felt. And I said to myself that this whole apology thing was just an act and he’d go right back to being his old self in a few days. I was proud of myself too because when he tried to apologize, I didn’t let him.” Keeley squeezes your arm at that and Rebecca smiles proudly. “But then the next day I came in and he bought my flowers!”

Their eyes widen.

“He did?”

“Yeah,” you nod at Keeley. “A big bouquet of Lily of the Valley and you know what Lily of the Valley symbolizes?”

Keeley shakes her head and Rebecca sighs, shoulders falling. “Apology,” she explains for you. “You give them to someone you hurt and don’t know how to apologize to.”

Keeley’s lips part in disbelief; “I never got fucking Lily of the Valley’s.”

Sinking into the couch, you cry out; “exactly! And then he starts opening doors for me and helping me pack things up… he’s listening to me in practice when he never used to, deliberately asking for my opinion after practice after the rest of the coaches have said their pieces. He tells the rest of the team to shut up if he feels they’re not listening to me and he asks me for pointers alone so he can get better. And! God! I was upset and he made this whole big speech about how amazing a coach I am and how the team appreciates me and shit and then I hugged him and cried on him and he didn’t laugh at me or make me feel like shit. He… he was actually really fucking sweet.”

The second you’re done ranting, Keeley and Rebecca glance at each other, before coming to the same conclusion.

“Well,” Keeley says hesitantly. “It definitely sounds like you fancy him.”

Pulling at your hair, you let out a cry. 

“No, no,” Rebecca shakes her hand, pulling your hands away from your face and holding them safely in her own. “It’s fine, love. Jamie has really turned himself around.”

“He has,” Keeley is quick to agree. “I mean, he never did any of that stuff for me and we were already in a relationship.”

“But it isn’t fine,” you argue, shaking your head. “Because he’s Jamie Tartt, and he’s fucking fit and now he’s nice too… and he’s a star football player and I’m just Y/N Y/L/N, some random assistant female coach on a team of male football players. No one knows me and I’m not special and I’m not a model or a celebrity or any of the usual types he goes for.”

“That is absolutely not true,” Rebecca says instantly, face appalled as if she can’t believe you’ve just said what you have.

“You are Y/N fucking Y/L/N.” Keeley adds, moving to grip your cheeks tightly between her hands. “The first and only female assistant coach of Richmond who has come up with more strategy plays that have helped us win than anyone else. Not to mention, you are proper fit. You are an absolutely fucking gorgeous and successful woman that Jamie would be incredibly lucky to have.”

Lips parting, you blink. Keeley and Rebecca are both looking at you in a way that leaves no room for arguments and feeling your eyes water, you pout; “you mean that?”

“Of course I fucking mean that.”

“Y/N,” Rebecca calls, squeezing your hands tightly. “I am so proud of you and the woman that you are and incredibly lucky to have you as a coach for my team. I know that, Keeley knows that, the team knows that and it looks like Jamie is aware of that more than anyone else. I know it’s hard to leave yourself vulnerable like this, but at least give him a shot.”

Biting your lip, you meet her eyes, finding the reassurance in them you needed before you glance over at Keeley who is grinning widely, nodding.

“Okay,” you whisper. “Okay.”

-

You’d believed what Rebecca and Keeley said.

Of course you did because you know they’d never lie to you.

And you’d promised them you’d give Jamie a chance before simply believing there’s no way he’d like you. But promising and doing was a lot different, and it’s hard to find the chance to say anything to him over the next few days.

The whole team is anxious because of the game against Manchester City coming up, especially since the last time they’d played them, it was the match that had gotten them regulated. Adding even more to that, Jamie had been on the Manchester team when that had happened and even though you know he’d made great strides towards making up with the team since coming back to Richmond, he was just anxious as the rest of them.

For a multitude of reasons you didn’t understand.

So, there wasn’t a chance to say anything.

And there certainly wasn’t one now that they’d lost. You’d briefly wondered to yourself that if they won, maybe you could run to Jamie and just confess your feelings then, thick in the adrenaline of it all. Like they did in the movies. All sweet and romantic.

Only, Richmond hadn’t won and you certainly weren’t going to now.

Especially when you were just as disappointed as the rest of them.

You’re speaking with Ted and Roy in the locker room when Jamie’s father comes in, and any conversation you’d been having falls silent the second he does.

You watch in stunned silence as Jamie’s father makes an embarrassment of himself, laughing and joking as he makes fun of the team's loss before zeroing in on Jamie himself. He says the cruelest things, and everything clicks in that moment why Jamie was the way that he was before he’d left Richmond.

And when Jamie punches his father straight across the face, you jump and your hands fall to your lips but you’re not shocked and you don’t think Jamie is wrong either.

No one says anything and no one does anything as Beard drag’s Jamie’s father out of the locker room and Jamie stands there, still standing in a defensive position. You want to do something, you want to say something, but you don’t think it’s your place. And you don’t know if Jamie would even feel all that much comfort with having you do anything.

Roy steps past you in the next second, taking Jamie into his arms and he loses it then, his sobs echoing throughout the otherwise silent room.

Ted runs past you at one point, but you don’t notice, eyes stuck on that of Jamie and Roy.

Then, Roy’s pulling away, but Jamie’s still got tears in his eyes, pressing his hand to his eyes as he tries to hide away. Suddenly, Roy’s eyes are on you, and he’s smiling in a knowing way, before promptly kicking everyone else out of the room. Your eyes widen as he does, body tensing in panic as Roy nods at you just before shutting the door behind him, leaving just you and Jamie in the room alone.

You can hear him sniffling to himself, a small sob breaking past his lips as you stand there, feeling out of place and like you’re stepping past his boundaries. So, slowly, you step towards him. “I can, uh, leave too if you’d like some–”

“No,” is all Jamie says before he’s pulling you into a hug, arms wrapping around you tightly as he presses his face into the crook of your neck. You freeze at the action at first, unsure what to do or say, before slowly your body eases, and your arms are raising, hands falling to his back as you squeeze him tightly.

He clutches onto you, sobbing into your neck, and you let him wordlessly, rubbing his back in smooth, slow patterns in a way you hope is comforting.

And the two of you stay like that for a while.

-

Your relationship from then on changes.

More than it already had.

You find yourself willingly hanging out with him when you would’ve avoided it otherwise before. Jamie always seems to be there, lending a helping hand or letting you talk his ear off about something or another.

The two of you never really spoke about what had happened in that locker room but you didn’t need to. It went without saying. You understood Jamie in a way that you hadn’t before, and although it didn’t excuse it, it made sense why he’d been the way had been before and it showed him trying to be better meant a lot more than it had before.

So, the season ends, and you watch the changes Jamie’s doing with a smile and a completely different attitude. When he gives Dani the shot, or when he joins in on team chants before matches. He’s still arrogant and cocky, but it’s in a more loveable way than it had been before, and now when he comes in every morning wearing his stupid ICON hat and dumb sunglasses, you can barely hide the smile that curls onto your lips.

Or the way that despite him wearing such stupid things, you think he looks ridiculously hot.

The season ends and then the new one starts up with one less coach after Nate had left only to join West Ham. It had certainly been a betrayal and you’d be lying if you said it hadn’t hurt. You’d always felt like Nate had understood you in a way maybe some of the others didn’t and the two of you had shared that office alone for so long that you couldn’t help the way you’d cried when you’d realized what he’d done.

Jamie holds you through it. 

A soft, gentle and comforting presence that never makes you feel silly for feeling so hurt and betrayed and for that, you’re eternally grateful.

Suddenly, Jamie is someone you can’t live without. You look forward to every morning you see him walk into the locker room, and you find yourself texting him at night, unable to stop the giddy feeling that floods you every time you hear your phone ding and see it’s him calling or texting you.

Keeley and Rebecca tease you all whilst constantly trying to get you to confess. You always say that you will, but you never do.

You’re mad for him, that you know but you don’t know if he’s mad for you and you don’t want to ruin the relationship the two of you have built just because of your stupid feelings. It was nice having him as a friend, and although every time you saw him you just wanted to kiss him, you didn’t want to lose that friendship either.

So you never say anything.

-

“So, I would suggest just–”

“Y/N–?”

Lips left parted at the sound of Sam, you turn to him as he pokes his head into the office. He freezes when he sees Jamie standing behind you, the two of you going over one of his plays, your hand left held with the whiteboard marker and he winces. “I’m so sorry. I did not mean to interrupt you two.”

Jamie is waving his hand in reassurance as you smile at Sam, letting your hand fall; “it’s fine, Sam. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to drive you home tonight,” he explains, chancing a quick glance at Jamie before focusing back on you. “I have to run by the restaurant before heading home and I’m not sure how long it will take.”

“Oh,” you blink, shaking your head. “It’s fine, Sam. I can walk home tonight. It’s no problem.” Then, cheekily, you can’t help but add; “as long as when you finally do let me see your restaurant, everything is on the house.”

Laughing, Sam shakes his head; “it already was. And for you,” he points at you with a grin, “it’ll always be.”

Smilingly, you nod, waving him goodbye as he does the same, slipping out of the office. You laugh quietly to yourself as he does, before turning to find Jamie’s eyes on you, and you blink; “sorry,” you offer bashfully. “Where were we–”

“I didn’t know Sam drove you home?”

Pausing, you shift back to face Jamie. “Oh, yeah. He saw that I was walking home one night, offered me a drive and it’s been like that since.”

Jamie nods, slowly. “You two are close.”

“Um, yeah?” You agree with a shrug. “Sam is easy to talk to, I guess. Super friendly and kind.”

“Hm,” Jamie hums lightly. “He does look like he’d make a good boyfriend.”

It takes you half a second to register what Jamie’s said both because you feel that’s a weird observation for Jamie to make and also because when in that conversation did you say he was your boyfriend?

“We’re not dating,” you explain, shaking your head as you laugh. “We’re just friends.”

Jamie’s eyes widen, cheeks warming in faint embarrassment but… is that a hint of relief you see? Probably not, you’re just psyching yourself out.

“Oh.”

Nodding, you bite your lip; “yeah.”

“Cool,” Jamie hums and you raise a brow at him, before turning back to the whiteboard.

“Did you wanna…?”

Jamie is quick to agree, shifting on his feet to put his focus back on what you were saying before Sam had stepped in. But then, just as your lips part to continue, Jamie is interrupting you;

“I could drive you home.”

He says it so nonchalantly you think you imagine him saying it at first.

You glance at him over your shoulder, and he turns to you.

“If you’d like.”

“Um,” and you hate the way your voice shakes or the nerves that rattle your entire being. “Sure… Sure, that’d… that’d be great. If you don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” he assures with a grin. “Why would I mind having a pretty girl in me car?”

Cheeks burning you quickly glance back ahead of yourself to not let him see how much that simple comment made your heart flutter and your insides feel like jelly. Inhaling sharply, it’s hard to fight the smile from curling onto your lips as you move to continue saying what you’d been trying to say before.

You’re so focused that you don’t see Jamie watching you, a grin curling onto his own lips when he sees how flustered you are.

-

“Pretty coach.”

Halting in your step, you glance up, only to have to crane your head upwards when you find Zava, the star player Rebecca had managed to score, staring down at you. He’s tall, very tall, and you’re not exactly sure why he’s here, in the middle of the hall, or why he’s talking to you.

“Zava,” you greet nervously, offering a small smile.

He’s stepping towards you, effectively closing the distance between you as your eyes widen, freezing when he reaches forward to take your hand in his own. Before you know it, he’s pressing his lips against the top of your hand, a gentle, swift kiss as he glances at you through his lashes, smirking.

“I look forward to working under you as my coach,” he explains, accent thick as he pulls his lips away. It doesn’t escape your notice that he doesn’t let go of your hand, though.

“Oh, um, me–me too. But you’ll mainly be working under Coach Lasso since he’s the head–...”

Your words trail when you realize he’s not really listening. He’s just… staring. Directly at you.

Swallowing thickly, with your free hand, you touch your face; “is there something on my–”

“Oh no, no,” he laughs gently, squeezing your hand. “You just have the most beautiful eyes.”

Feeling yourself warm, you meet his eyes in surprise before glancing down at your feet, “oh, um, thank–”

“Oi.”

The new voice is sharp and your head is spinning over your shoulder only to see Jamie promptly making his way over to you. You’re surprised by how angry he looks, but his attention isn’t focused on you and rather Zava as he quickly makes his way over, pulling your hand out of Zava’s and gently pushing you behind him as he blocks you from sight from Zava. You flush when you realize Jamie’s still holding onto your hand, before slowly peeking over his shoulder.

“Tartt,” Zava grins, “it’s wonderful to see you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jamie huffs. “Just keep your hands to yourself, okay?”

Raising his hands in surrender, Zava laughs, stepping back as he moves to walk away. His eyes catch yours and he winks at you before turning to walk off.

“Prick.” Jamie hisses under his breath.

You pause at that, turning to him only to see his eyes set in a glare, watching Zava disappear down the hall before you let out a giggle. Jamie’s eyes fall on you the second you do, gaze softening when he sees you giggling.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you smile, biting your lip as you glance up at him. “Just funny. You're calling him a prick.”

Jamie’s eyes widen in mock hurt; “he is!”

“Sure,” you shrug. “And so were you.”

“But not anymore,” he teases, rolling his eyes at you.

“True,” you agree, shocking him by how easily you do. You just continue to smile at him, “definitely not anymore.”

Jamie stares down at you, eyes never leaving your face. “He’s right about one thing, though.”

Quirking a brow, you tilt your head; “yeah? And what’s that?”

“You do have the most beautiful eyes.”

That was the last thing you expected.

Lips parting, you’re burning red as you promptly slap Jamie in the arm.

“Ow!” He hisses, pulling away as his hand (regrettably) leaves yours. “What was that for?”

You just stare back at him, pouting, embarrassed, hoping he can’t hear how fast your heart is beating.

Or notice that the way he said it meant way more than it did coming from Zava.

“Prick.”

Jamie just blinks, pouting; “what did I do?”

-

You let out a laugh as Jamie comes running up on the bus cheering about seeing Windmills, shaking your head with a grin as the rest of the guys cheer him on.

He walks down the aisle, high fiving a few of the guys until his eyes settle on you. Leaning your head against the seat, you grin cheekily up at him. “Did you have a fun night?” You ask with a head tilt, biting the inside of your cheek.

Smiling down at you, Jaime nods; “yeah, you?”

“Perfect,” you assure. “Spent a quiet night in my room.”

“The boys didn’t keep ya company?” He frowns, and he looks like he’s about to say something before you quickly reach forward, grabbing his wrist.

“That was team bonding stuff, silly,” you roll your eyes. “Besides, I had the most relaxing bath. It was fine.”

He glances down at you, not saying anything, but you feel your chest tighten when you see the way his eyes glance across your entire figure at the word bath.

Ignoring the butterflies, you smile; “saved you a seat, see?” You gesture to the empty window seat next to you, and Jamie laughs.

“You want the window seat?”

“Yup,” you grin, shuffling over to the other side as Jamie takes your old spot. You settle down next to him, arm brushing against his as he grins over at you.

“You got lots of training done last night?”

Jamie nods, “yup. Taugh’ Roy how to ride a bike.”

Brows furrowing, you briefly wonder how that happened in the midst of training but you let it go all the same, shrugging as you laugh. “But you made sure to get some rest, yes?” You add, turning to him with a quirked brow. “Because you remember what I said about training? If you push yourself too hard, you’re not going–”

“–to help anyone,” he finishes for you with a chuckle. “Yes, I remember.”

“Good,” you nod, squeezing his arm. 

“And you?”

Blinking, you turn to him.

“Did you get some rest last night?”

You nod, touched by his concern. “Yeah,” you assure, “like I said, spent the night in my room, resting.”

“Good,” he repeats your words from earlier and you turn your head away to the window when you feel yourself smiling.

Yet, despite that, an hour later, you’ve passed out on Jamie’s very own shoulder, softly snoring away.

Jamie is careful not to move, not wanting to wake you up, but when Dani turns to take a photo excitedly, he doesn’t stop him.

“Hey,” he whispers to Dani, “send that to me, okay?”

-

“You need to talk to Jamie.”

Raising a brow, you glance up at Roy.

“...I do?”

“He’s a mess,” is all Roy says.

“Okay…?”

“And you need to talk to him.”

Biting your lip, you hum; “because?”

Huffing, Roy rolls his eyes like you’re the one being annoying. “Because you’re the only one he’ll listen to, so you need to talk to him and get him out of whatever funk he’s in.”

“Okay,” you nod, “I’ll talk to him.”

-

You don’t get the chance to talk to him until you’ve arrived at the hotel the night before the game and even then it’s not really you talking to him.

The movie you’d all watched together is over and Ted had set a curfew but Jamie is taking your hand in his, throwing his hood up and leading you out of the hotel without another word. You glance over your shoulder to see Roy glancing at you in confusion, but you just shrug your shoulders and then Keeley is sending you two thumbs up with a bright grin and before you know it, you both are out the hotel and making your way across the street.

You let him lead, expecting him to say something, but he never really does. He’s eerily silent the entire walk, and it isn't until twenty minutes have passed that you finally tug on his grip and pull him to a stop. He glances back at you in surprise but you’re just shaking your head up at him, confused.

“If this is your way of getting me alone to murder me, I’m going to be really upset.”

He blinks at your words, confused at first, before he shakes his head. “No, no… of course not. I… I want you to meet someone.”

“Oh,” you mumble, feeling yourself ease as you meet his gaze. He’s staring back at you, obviously waiting for you to agree and with a gentle smile, you nod.

“Okay.”

It’s his mom.

He wanted you to meet his mom. 

You’re confused, extremely so, as Jamie leads you up the steps to a house, knocks and some older gentleman opens the door. He recognizes Jamie and invites the both of you in, and you’re left standing in the entrance way, baffled as you hug your coat closer to yourself, until a woman comes running down the stairs, screaming Jamie’s name and then suddenly she’s in his arms and he’s spinning her and calling her ‘mommy’ and it all clicks.

You can't help the smile that curls onto your lips at the sight, feeling like you’re being allowed to see a side of Jamie others rarely were.

And when Jamie introduces you to his mom, the smile turns into shock when she says; “you’re the one Jamie’s told me so much about!” And before you even have time to register those words or see Jamie glancing at you, she’s wrapping you up in her arms and hugging you so tightly as she gushes about how much she’s wanted to meet you.

You spend the night being welcomed by his mother and her boyfriend, before you leave Jamie to have his much needed conversation with his mom. Simon shows you around the house, before leaving you to glance around Jamie’s childhood bedroom yourself. You all but squeal at his Roy Kent poster, before rolling your eyes at Keeley’s, but happily glance round the rest of the room. You look at all his trophies and childhood photos, little drawings he’d done or books he’d read.

Before you know it, Jamie’s poking his head into the room and calling for you.

“Oh, Jamie,” you smile, “are you all done catching up with your mom?”

He nods, “yeah, you wanna get out of here? Go back to the hotel?”

“Sure,” you agree with ease, stepping toward him. He sets his hand against your back, leading you back towards the door where you say your final goodbyes. You thank Simon for the tour and give Georgie a huge hug, expressing how happy you were to meet her before she makes you promise you’ll come by and visit again.

You’re not quite sure how to reply to that, but it’s okay because Jamie does it for you, promising the two of you will stop by for an actual dinner soon.

And then, it’s just the two of you, making your way back to the hotel.

“So,” you call out, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. “You told your mum about me?”

Jamie rolls his eyes at that, huffing. “Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I?”

That certainly isn’t the response you were expecting, so, with warm cheeks, you glance at your feet.

“Got it all sorted now?”

Jamie hums, “yup. Sorry if I worried ya.”

You shake your head. “Think you had Roy in more of a panic, if I’m being honest. Poor man couldn’t breathe, he was so worried.”

Jamie snorts at that, lightly nudging you with his arm. “So, ya weren’ worried at all?”

Turning your head, your smile fades as you meet his gaze. “No, I was. I just didn’t want to overstep.”

“You could never overstep,” Jamie assures, “I should’ve been open about how I was feelin’. Just needed to sort it out for meself.”

Smiling softly to yourself, you hug your hands behind your back. “Well, I’m glad you figured it all out, Jamie. Really. Now you can kick some serious ass tomorrow, yeah?” You’re smiling as you say it, nudging him back with your own arm as the two of you continue to walk.

Then, suddenly, Jamie stops.

Frowning, you glance back at him; “are you–?”

“Me mum helped me with somethin’ else.”

“Oh,” you mumble, not sure where he was going with this. “What’s that?”

“Said I should stop being such a pussy and tell you how I really feel.”

Lips parting, you freeze. “Oh.”

Jamie nods, slow, and you can tell he’s nervous by the way he’s shuffling on his feet. “So… here goes.”

Your eyes widen when he steps forward, closing the distance between the two of you until he’s right in front of you, inches away. Your eyes follow him, head tilted back as you stare up at him, unsure what to do or say. But you don’t need to, because Jamie is speaking up in the next second.

“I’m in love with ya,” he confesses, letting the words just slip past his lips. “I’ve been in love with ya since you hugged me after me dad in Wembley. Maybe before that, I dunno. All I know is that when I came back to Richmond, all I was focused on was makin’ everyone like me again and then you yelled at me that day in yer office and I realized it was more than that. It wasn’t just about makin’ people like me, but makin’ up for the cruel things I'd done. I’m so sorry for the way I treated ya before, but I want you to know that I think the absolute world of ya. You are kind and sweet and smart and proper fit and… I dunno, you might not feel the same but I don’t wanna go on another day not having you know how crazy I am for ya.”

His words settle, carry on in the silence, as you stare back up at him, lips left parted, disbelief coursing through your veins.

Jamie’s confidence wavers as the silence carries and he’s shuffling on his feet in worry as he swallows thickly. “You don’t have to say anythin’,” he assures, rambling now with nerves. “I just wanted ya to know, so–”

But you cut him off by pressing your lips firmly against his own.

Jamie stumbles back from the pure force of the kiss at first, before he catches his balance and the shock fades and his hands are falling on your waist as he squeezes, returning the kiss with just as much passion. Maybe more. He kisses you like he’s been waiting to do this for weeks, and you realize, he maybe has. He holds you like you're the only thing in that moment that matters and you let yourself sink into his touch, turning to putty in his hands as you thread your fingers through his hair.

Then, slowly, you pull away, breathless as he smiles down at you.

“I love you too,” you whisper, “since the day you left me those flowers.”

Jamie’s eyes widen and his lips part but you don’t have the care to be embarrassed by your confession; it just felt good to finally, finally be able to say the words out loud.

“And I am so excited to see you kick ass tomorrow.” You breathe out, pressing your hands to his cheeks as you smile up at him, eyes dazed and sparkling with delight. 

Pressing his forehead against yours, Jamie presses a gentle kiss to your lips.

“And I can’t wait to see you kick ass tomorrow.”

[romanticinlove]

Your number 1 fan

Summary: During a media interview, Jude is asked about his relationship with you. When it seems like the interviewer is implying something else, Jude has no problem coming to your defense.

word count: 1.4K

a/n: Thank you guys so much for the support! I hope you guys like this one!

__________________________________________

After a game with England, where they won, Jude and some of the other players began to prepare for the post-game interviews. During the game, Jude was able to score a goal and also assist with another. He felt quite proud of his performance and as soon as the final whistle blew, all he could think about was you watching the game. He had hoped that you would've been proud of his performance and how he would call you after he was all done and back in his room. You stayed back in your apartment in Spain while he was completing his duties with the national team.

The two of you had begun dating about a year ago and your relationship went public then too. You weren't particularly famous or anything. You had met Jude one day when your little brother recognized him at a shop. When he got a picture with the footballer, Jude took the opportunity to ask for your phone number. It was honestly out of a movie and you could not believe that this was happening to you. Around this time, there were plenty of dating rumors between Jude and some models going around the internet. You looked at these models are you felt as if though maybe that's who Jude should've been with. He never gave you a reason to feel like he didn't love you. In fact he would probably reassure you about his feelings 100 times a day. Through his words and his actions, all of those insecurities about yourself were put on a pause and you enjoyed your relationship with Jude. People did still try to compare you to other models and how you weren't the traditional wag, but you tried to ignore them and focus of the people who were nice to you and encouraging.

When Jude walked towards the various interviewers, a man who was with ESPN, called Jude over. He walked towards the man and began to set himself up for the interview. He grabbed the mic and smiled as the man.

"Hello Jude I am Manuel Fernandez, with ESPN" The man introduced himself "Tonight you played a very good game, scoring a goal and securing another one through an assist, how doing you feel after a performance like that?"

Jude thought for a second before giving a response. "Well you know it's always a great feeling when you are able to not only win, but also contribute to that win. I think that it's also easy to be able to do something like that when there are so many connections between the team. When you have that type of chemistry on the pitch, it's almost expected that something like this'll happen."

"yes yes, you and the team were certainly connecting with your passes like no other today it was truly something fantastic to watch. Right now, you are the talk of the town, one of the young talents who just has so much to offer, what do you think of the people who are comparing you to other players such as Zidane?"

"Well you know it's always such a special thing to be compared to a player who was so successful in the game and who just had so much to offer. I really do appreciate the people who support me and continue to motivate me. I don't think I quite deserve a comparison such as that one just yet, I think I still have quite a bit of work to do before I can even join a conversation like that. But I am putting the work in not for the comparisons and so that people can talk about me, but for the betterment of myself and to give my team someone who they can rely on while we're playing" Jude smiled and looked over to one of the team mangers who was signaling to end the interview so they could move on. Jude looked back at the interviewer so that he could ask his final question.

"Well those comparisons are coming your way regardless" the interviewer began to laugh before speaking up again "and finally Jude, how will you go out and celebrate a win like this?"

Jude immediately thought of you and got excited because he could mention you in the interview. "Well actually, I am planning on just heading back to my room and calling my girlfriend, who is actually waiting for me back in Spain." Jude was proud oh respond and wanted to leave it at that but the interviewer spoke again.

"Jude you are so young, have you ever thought of going out and experimenting a little. I know that a young handsome lad like yourself could walk down the street and plenty or more beautiful girl would throw themselves at you." The interviewer said this a joking tone, but Jude didn't laugh, He kept a straight face while looking at the man.

"and what does that mean?" Jude was a little angry at the question and did not want to let it go.

"I just mean she is not someone that you should be with, you should be with someone like a model you shouldn't settle for less, at least not her" The man laughed again, and Jude had had enough.

"Listen here you prick, my girlfriend, y/n and I, are very happy together. neither one of our lives is your business, she is beautiful and the only thing I have settled for, is doing an interview with someone like you. Don't ever try to talk about me or her again. You are disgusting and I doubt that you are proud of yourself for asking such a shit question" Jude dropped the mic and immediately left the interview.

When Jude walked into the lock room to change, some of the players noticed that Jude had an angry face on and Trent went over to talk to him.

"alright then, what's got you upset?" The Scouse player asked while sitting next to Judes locker.

"Some dickhead tried to belittle y/n and our relationship during an interview. He's a lowlife" Jude huffed while chasing out of his uniform.

"C'mon man, don't let people like that get you worked up, everyone knows that what you and y/n have is something special, you deserve the best and you have her. People only talk like that when they have nothing else going on in their lives" Trent tried to calm Jude down. It was true. Everyone who was around you guys In your lives loved you two together, and understood that you two were happy, regardless of your career or how you met.

Later than evening, Jude finally got back to his room and gave you a call.

'Hey baby, what're you doing right now" Jude asked you when you answered the phone

"Hello my love, right now I am just tidying up this living room a little bit, I have been neglecting it for a while. But how was your game! I saw that you guys won, congratulations" You spoke through the phone. During times when Jude was away, Hearing your voice was very important to him. He missed you like crazy and this was closet you two could be.

"Well it was good, I did get fouled though and now my knee is hurting a bit since I went down, I might have to go see the trainer tomorrow morning"

"hmm maybe instead of arguing with that guy during your interview, you could've gone and got it checked out" You joked with him. He had forgotten all about that and it hadn't occurred to him hat you might've seen the whole thing go down.

"so you did see that" Jude stated while lying in his bed.

"I did, that guy was an idiot. Why would he ask you something like that in the first place? Obviously I am the best thing that has and will ever happen in your life" You said in a joking tone and begun to laugh

"You can say it as a joke, but it's the truth. You are the best thing that has happened to me. I know people talk all the time, but there is no one I would rather be with. I love you more than anything" Jude said over the phone. You smiled on the other line truly wondering how you got so lucky to be with this man.

" I love you too Jude, more than anything"

"Besides, at least I'd have a girlfriend. I'd be surprised if anyone would even be with a man who looked like him" Jude said with an attitude.

"Oh my goodness, you cannot Jude say that about someone" You laughed out

"it's the truth"

____________________________________

[grogusmum]

November: Mourning Moon

A Conversations with Dead People Companion

This one probably does require reading the original fic; you can find it here

FRANKIE MORALES X F!READER with Holly

W/C 1400ish

WARNING: angsty, dead wife, ghost, that's about it.

A/N Welcome to my very late November installment for @yearofcreation2023 (a fantastic notion by @oonajaeadira.)

Frankie climbs the steps of the 400-year-old cemetery, this time with his daughter, Julieta. Snow has been falling for a good twenty minutes, and last night's snow crunches underfoot. It’s not unheard of to have snow in November in the Northeast, even if it’s becoming more rare. It’s been a little more than a year since Frankie’s first visit with Holly. It only takes a moment before she falls into silent step with them. Slipping between them, as they seem to have left space for her, she takes each of their gloved hands in her bare ones.

“I'm so glad to see you, my loves.”

“Holly,” Frankie sighs. “Missed you, babe.”

“Mama!” 

“Oh jellybean, I'm so glad you came," Holly brings her daughter's hand to her cold cheek, then turns to her husband, “You came.”

“Yeah.”

“But not just to say hello.”

“Yeah,” Frankie looks at his wife, looking just as she did in life. This isn't going to be easy. “I've- I-”

Holly smiles, right up to her eyes -

“You've met someone.”

Frankie just gives a tight smile, she always makes things easier, he should have remembered.  His eyes go bright, and he rubs his face with his free hand. 

“Darling, that's truly wonderful. You deserve it, Frankie. And you deserve a mama.”

“I only have one mama, but I like her,” Julieta says. 

as they reach the top of Burial Hill the wind kicks up, snow swirling unable to decide which way is down. They are alone, no dog walkers, no couples taking in the view. It's beautiful but cold.

“We just wanted to tell you that. I don’t know, I couldn't just… not without your blessing.”

“You know my answer,” Holly says, giving Frankie a chilly kiss on the cheek, he shivers and smiles. “Tell me all about her.” 

Frankie tells Holly where you are from, what you do… how he feels when he's with you. Julieta shares stories of the first time you came to her soccer game, and how you make the best hot chocolate- with a quick apology, meaning no offense to Holly’s cocoa. To which Holly gifts them with the hearty laugh they love so well. 

“You aren't offending me, jellybean, it comes from a box!  But watch out, I hear the Swiss Miss gets migh-ty jealous!”

“We told her all about you. She wants to come and visit,” Julieta says, swinging Holly's arm as they walk and hold hands.

Holly looks at Frankie, then at Julieta-

“Me me? Or my -” Holly nods at the white gravestone a few paces away. 

“I told her I talk to you a lot, and about that time last fall…” 

“You did?”

“Yeah, and she wasn't weirded out at all. She doesn't expect you to come to her- make yourself um… known. She just wants to put a wreath on your grave, pay her respects.”

You sat in the little coffee place on the main street, mindlessly stirring your tea, watching the windows for Frankie and Julieta. The wreath you made of blue spruce, juniper berries, pine cones, and of course, holly, a wide white grosgrain ribbon tied in a single fluffy bow sits on the seat next to you. You don't expect to see Holly. No. But you figure she'll hear you… you thought about all the things you wanted to tell her, trying to imagine being at the receiving end of it. As if you are the one who lost her life, the love of her life, and the apple of her eye… you close your eyes, a small tear slips down. 

Are you being weird? Performative? 

Just then you see the two most important people to come into your life, saving you from spiraling.

They wave. Frankie gives Julieta some money and kisses her head, then comes to your table while his daughter goes to the counter. He kisses your forehead and sits, “Jules is ordering us a warm-up. It's freezing up the hill. The wind.”

You nod, and another sneaky tear rolls down.

“Hey,” Frankie's brows knit together, “are you- did something happen?”

Frankie looks around for the culprit. You huff a smile at his protectiveness. You found yourself a bulldog, complete with soft, sad brown eyes, who loves his belly rubbed.

“I'm just- it's an emotional day. I guess.”

“I guess it is,” Frankie nods.

After hot chocolate and coffee (and the cookie the size of Jules' face), everyone is warmed up and bundles up to climb back up the hill.

Holly keeps her distance this time, watching the three of you reach the crest of the hill. Frankie puts his hand on your lower back, guiding you on the snow-covered brick path toward Holly’s stone. Holly pines for that hand, warm and solid on the small of her back, just one more time. Pearly tears spill over. She isn't jealous, well, that's not true. Holly is envious of you; she's just not angry with you. She feels swindled, but not by you. You are again bringing joy to her husband and child, love and care that Holly can not provide anymore. She's grateful for you, just incredibly sad for herself. 

Holly pops over to the stone, their destination, and continues observing you. You have kind eyes, carrying a rueful smile. At least now it is, understandably, but Holly can see the shadow of crinkles around your eyes and laugh lines. You have a lovely wreath. If Holly had to picking one out of a million for herself, she would have chosen that one. 

You look at Jules and kiss her brown curls; they look at Frankie like you're looking for some help. He gives your hand a squeeze.

“It's a beautiful stone,” you murmur. Frankie puts a little rod, like a shepherd's hook, in the ground before it. Since it’s so early in the season, the ground isn't frozen hard despite the snow. Then, you hang the wreath on it. 

“Thank you for your family,” you say, and then cringe a little; Frankie kneels next to you, taking your hand in his. He nods.

“I'm…” you look at them with pleading eyes.

Julieta takes your other hand and introduces you. You kiss a thank you on her temple.

“I just wanted to come and give my respects, to um, tell you that I love your husband, and your kid here is a delight. By the photos all over the house, I can see she is the perfect combination of the two of you. I just wanted t-to assure you that they will be cared for, I hope nearly so well as when they were with you. Because, I can see your love everywhere in that house. The nursery room mural you painted full belly pregnant with Jules here, Frankie's shown me photos of your gardens. And the recipe book you put together b-before… everything, so Frankie could make all his and Julieta’s favorites. I can't replace you, of course, no one can. But I hope - well, I just-”

You look up at the white stone, your knees cold in the snow but your face hot, trying to find the words.

Holly moves to stand behind the headstone, looking down at your worried face, and puts out her hand. You blink. A graceful hand suddenly appears before her stone, right between the carved words wife and mother. Your eyes slowly follow the wrist, then arm, to the face of Holly Morales. 

After a small gasp, you take her outstretched hand and stand. Frankie and Jules slowly follow.

“Thank you for loving my family,” Holly says, placing her other hand over yours. You can feel the seeping cold through your glove, but you feel no reason to shiver. Her eyes are so full of love and gratitude and grace. “I am entrusting them in your care.”

“I do,” you say, “I mean, am, I will love and care for them with all my heart.”

“and let them care for you, and love you,” Holly so wisely adds.

Tears prick the corners of your eyes.

“I will.”

Holly looks at Jules, hand grazing her cheek. Her eyes travel to Frankie's, his tears falling freely. Unnoticed, the snow had stopped falling, and sunshine fought its way past the clouds.  Only noticed now when a shaft brightened the hill, causing a swirl of snow caught on the wind to sparkle like diamonds. And in that shimmer of snow and light, Holly is gone.

Frankie presses a kiss to your temple.

“She likes you.”

THANKS FOR READING! 💚

Year of Creation: the Wheel of the Year Masterlist

MAIN MASTERLIST

If you care to be tagged for any of my works, my taglist form can be found here! I've added my Year of Themed Creations Series

[offshore-brinicle]

see now i'm wondering if his ring ID is the kind of person yi sang could have become if he didn't join limbus company. like he internalizes the thinking pattern of "i'm a fool and not worth a damn and everything i do only hurts people" and expresses that self-loathing via his art. eats drywall

OK SO. I TOOK SOME TIME TO ANSWER THIS ONE BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO GET HIM FOR MYSELF. I don't even really play the game anymore and keep up with the story via YouTube but. Y'know just to prove a point basically and Virtual Yi Sang Collectionism while I find myself with too much free time again so you might have gotten to see it by yourself by now but. Still.

Actually looking into this with his story and all of his dialogue they really did just give him an actual Bad End ID like Nclair, Ahabmael and G Corp Gregor (with some variation of Erlking joining eventually? but I have no idea how that will work taking in count the plot aspect) since Spicebush Yi Sang doesn't really Qualify as one of those and is even framed as being empowering in a way for him taking in count its release was timed so it could be used in the Farmwatch fight instead of waiting for the end of the Season like the others. I believed that W Corp Yi Sang was this spiritually; since it depicts him at his lowest point imaginable following on the track he was on already and the themes of Canto IV perfectly though not related to it, but now Ring Yi Sang has shown us a much more connected, and much darker potential path for him. So I'll take this post as my chance to analyze this:

In regards to his self-loathing it's very interesting that he actually seems to feel a sense of pride not seen in any of his other IDs, talking about "what he deserves" and disregarding everything that doesn't cause him a reaction. He now uses creation itself as a way to fill the emptiness inside of him, while in the main story, Yi Sang's resolution was that his impulse to create was his way of connecting with others.

You can see that in these lines, where he has completely disregarded everything about life and other people, pretty much all of his dialogue revolves around wanting to create and he has only interest in what can inspire him, to the point he nonchalantly kills civilians for failing to make him feel that way.

I feel like this is even expressed in the Sins for this ID compared to base Yi Sang, the set-up is the exact same; S1 Gloom and S3 Sloth. However, the one that changes is S2. Regular Yi Sang has S2 Envy while Ring Yi Sang has S2 Lust. Added this to Ring Yi Sang's passives even being fueled by Lust as well while base Yi Sang's are fueled by Gloom. I take this as a representation that he has taken this Lust, an obsessive desire, as being what will drive him forward throwing away all the self-loathing and regret, with many of his lines calling the past meaningless.

Now I'll tackle his story and do a rundown on it while giving my observation, as it ellaborates into this and what his mindset is (and frankly, it's utterly fantastic). First of all, we get a unique, dissonant track that so far seems to have never been used in any other instance in the game to my knowledge.

Yi Sang's approach to his scientist position is very...unique, because he does so as an artist rather than more proper scientific people like for example Faust, Dongrang, Aseah and Gubo. People who simply want practical application and results, means to an end. Dongbaek seems to be the only person who shares this approach he has which is why their bond is treated as unique compared to the other League of Nine members. At his core, what fascinated Yi Sang so much about technology and sciences was simply the euphoria of discovery itself, finding new things. Which is tackled immediately when Ring Yi Sang's story begins as I am showing here.

With science, you never truly "create" anything, you go through right and wrong answers until finding something that works or causes some effect, he even says so himself in Canto IV. And he goes on to criticize his prior fascination with technology with this particular aspect in mind. Even more shockingly is that he calls the League of Nine's conferences a "waste of time" now, each of their creations predictable which could tie into him being a one-of-a-kind genius, which is also somewhat tackled in Dongrang's observation log. To him, everything else his friends made was child's play.

So instead, he looks towards what made him so fascinated with The Mirror in the first place, echoing this particular point he makes during his log for Dongbaek, both of them are driven to reach something abstract and inconcievable and ended up using technology as their path to that vague destination that can only be described in poetry.

And finally, he completely foresakes his past at the League. He even he believes he finally has his wings but calls them fabricated, and there is something obviously wrong with the entire thing on multiple levels. They are fabricated wings because he was guided to this conclusion by the hand of another, rather than the introspection throughout IV. His chapter title is "The Unchanging", and it's the only chapter where the trait assigned in the title to the focus Sinner is a positive; him staying true to himself and his ideals was the key, but he needed to actually move past his apathy and actually grasp them, but here he has completely changed beyond recognition. Turned arrogant, callous and utterly irrational, discarding all of his self-loathing by divorciating himself from the self that he hates, yet the Sloth—the apathy remains, instead of moving past it, fighting it back with his Lust in an endless cycle of dopamin chases while growing numb to everything else and even destroying it if it fails to satisfy that Lust so that it will, as shown as he kills failing students to take delight in their shock and agony.

But at the same time it frames that portrait of the League in his background art a completely different meaning. It is most likely that this portrait is a mockery of all of them, regarding the past and the life he lived until now including his past self with the same condescencion he does examinees that fail to impress him. Specially when you take in count how his own face is much more well-painted than the childish erratic strokes he assigns to the other, making them look ridiculous. But at the same time, Yeonsim is there under them, but flipped to its underside, he still held onto it but as far as we know it might be completely broken and only keeps it as part of his insulting work going by another of his idle chatter lines.

This dark inversion of Yi Sang's journey even before Limbus and Canto IV is also emphasized by Pointillism in particular being chosen as the subject for this ID, this was first pointed out by this Korean Twitter user (and fellow irl Yi Sang enjoyer going by the layout) in the original announcement for this ID:

Of course, this theme compliments Yi Sang's resolution in IV pretty well. He loved the League and grew to love Limbus because they were his resting place. I can't find any translation of Jochunjeommyo however, so I can only rely on summaries and posts put through machine translation. But from what I can summarize, the story is about an artist who can't find a place to breathe and simply exist due to the materialistic, capitalistic nature of the city he finds himself in, which fits pretty neatly with Yi Sang's story as a whole.

I'd also like to point out how a less overtly unhinged variation of this kind of development is shown in his Dieci ID story (which I wanted to make a post on for a while because it really feels like it was preliminary to this and not enough people talk about how messed up Dieci Yi Sang actually is) and how he comes to adopt a mentality just like Ryoshu's, with her already being linked to The Fingers and knowing about their workings personally to the point she might have been affiliated at some point though we cannot confirm, however I will instead link to this post by my friend on the topic since they already did a dissection on how Yi Sang and Ryoshu act as ideological foils and they pretty much said it better than I could: https://www.tumblr.com/ishcliff/743271628518129664/so-any-thoughts-of-well-the-blade-lineage-itself?source=share

So that's all I've got for now! Honestly I am so over the moon with this ID and the potential implications going forward as you can imagine.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

I think you are one of the first people I've seen on here that doesn't try to hate on one of the characters while writing them. I'm curious, how would the M6 handle an MC with very low self esteem? I suffer from it and would love to see what you come up with ❤️

The Arcana HCs: M6 with an insecure MC

~ this is one of four requests I've received for an MC who's insecure/has low self esteem - as someone who can completely relate, here are your headcanons my loves, I hope you can receive these affirmations from fictional characters knowing that they come from a very real person who adores you all - brainrot ~

Julian

Oh, he gets it

Sure, he never hesitates to ask for what he wants, but that doesn't mean he thinks he deserves any of it

He can recognize those moments of doubt in your eyes as soon as they appear, because he knows exactly what they feel like on his own face

Which makes his heart ache for you, he knows how crappy that feels and of all the people he knows you deserve it the least

Normally when this happens his instinct is to fawn over you to the point of becoming a public embarrassment

This usually works, but sometimes when you hit a rut like this you just need something to get you out of your own head and enjoy the life you've built for yourself

He's taking you dancing

It helps everything! Focusing on the motions gets you out of your head, it's a fantastic way to initiate some physical contact, and by the time you're worn out you've had too much fun to keep worrying

Once you've reached that point you're fair game for affirmations: what a lovely dancer you are, the way you move is breathtaking, how is he supposed to enjoy dancing without you again?

Asra

On one hand, their love for you is so unconditional that they have a difficult time understanding the source of your doubts

He would love you in any shape, with any name, with any identity. If it's you that's all that matters to him

Why are you worrying about certain details about yourself when none of them change who you fundamentally are?

On the other hand, they know perfectly well what it's like to doubt themself or feel lacking

Once you two are together it's less common for you to spiral because he doesn't let you go five minutes without giving you a boost of some kind

Every morning comes with a tidal wave of subtle compliments. They will flirt with you mercilessly and go out of their way to admire any specific thing about yourself that tends to be a sticking point for you

On the days when it does get bad, he'll pick a place or activity that brings out something he knows you like about yourself

You're a good singer? You're proud of your magic? They'll take you back to the cave to practice combining the two

So many kisses, everywhere, all the time

Nadia

She doesn't struggle with it in the same way, but you've met her family

Being the youngest in a large family of exceptional people, parents with public and demanding roles, and lots of big personalities leaves very little room for self-discovery and confidence

I mean it was bad enough for her to marry Lucio and leave Prakra

She's come a really long way, and been able to address the source of her insecurities, but she remembers what it was like

Her default is already to take every opportunity to fluster you, so even if it's not on purpose you never have to doubt her affections

But she makes being a Countess look easy, she has years of education and good upbringing on top of her natural talents, and you're a humble court magician who was relearning how to exist less than three years ago

She is committed to seeing you succeed in the Palace. She'll happily spend hours teaching you the ins and outs of diplomacy and etiquette in the most delightful ways

But she'll also make sure the two of you regularly visit your old haunts, simply to highlight the things you excel at that she doesn't and to prove to you that you two are truly equals

Muriel

You've seen him go wide eyed before, but one of the times that really sticks in your memory is the moment you casually told him that he could do a lot better than you

Until he met you, he went through life with a total of one (1) friend who had a crippling combination of wanderlust and attachment issues

The fact that he's able to have a relationship with you at all is a miraculous win in his mind

He knows he's not the best at expressing his feelings, but if it's your self-esteem on the line he will learn and he will do his best

The first time he hears you voice your insecurities he's dropping whatever he's doing and sitting next to you

He'll take your hand and wait, as patiently as you need him to, until you've told him everything that's bothering you

He's not the most eloquent person, but he knows the importance of responding to your doubts and he'll painstakingly address each one, out loud, telling you that it's not true and why

On a day to day basis, he makes a point of acknowledging all the ways you make his life better with little words or smiles or touches

Portia

She's a generally easy going person, she knows all her own faults and how to acknowledge and live with them

However, she has her own brand of low self-esteem and it fuels her workaholic tendencies

So much of her life has revolved around the people next to her being the main characters that she has a hard time seeing herself as having any relevance unless she's playing a support role

And then one day she hears you, the exciting, mysterious magician who turns every day into an adventure, casually question your own worth and relevance out loud

She has to process it for a moment before she can respond. Important people experience this too? This isn't in her novels

She'll ask you about it right away. What do you mean when you say that? Why do you think that?

Talking to you proves two things to her: that her own feelings do not make her unimportant, and that you are not as indestructible as she assumed you were

She'll write her favorite qualities down about you and have you do the same, and now you say your affirmations to each other every morning

Lucio

This guy had questioned himself maybe three times in his life before he met you

He thinks he's an above-average dude on his humbler days. He hates acknowledging his oopsies because the consequences scare him, not because he thinks they make him a bad person

He adores you, you keep the world in perspective for him, and he knows how important that and the way you've helped him grow is

But he subconsciously contributes to your struggles at first. Any unique trait is teasing material to him, it never occurred to him that the stuff he comments on might be sensitive for you

Until the day he notices you change your appearance and have a hard time responding to him

Why did you change your clothes to hide that part of your body? Why don't you take credit for your work any more? Why don't you believe him when he compliments you?

When you manage to tell him, he feels awful about it. He doesn't know what it's like to be insecure, but he does know what it's like to want somebody's approval and acceptance

It'll take a while, but he'll prove all the doubts he caused wrong and then tackle the rest. How is he supposed to shine without you as a light source anyway?

[rpgsandbox]

Crafting & Alchemy — two brand new 5th edition supplements to make your mark on the world! Forge legendary weapons and armour using Hammer & Anvil, and brew fantastical and deadly potions and poisons with Mortar & Pestle!

From the award-winning team that brought you Adventures in Middle-earth, Broken Weave, A Life Well Lived, Uncharted Journeys, and Doctors and Daleks!

Legends speak of incredible magic items — dragon-slaying spears, unbreakable silver armour, elixirs that bring the dead back to life, and more. 

Songs are sung of these legendary artefacts. What of those who spent hours sweating by the forge, or over a cauldron of volatile ingredients? 

Crafting & Alchemy, make your mark on the world and create powerful magic items that will be spoken of until the end of time.

It’s time to give your character the equipment they deserve.

Forge your weapon to slay the monster plaguing your hometown, or brew a powerful elixir to save the life of someone you love.  Design and experiment, using magic and ingenuity to create something truly unique. Hammer & Anvil and Mortar & Pestle give you the freedom to create anything you can imagine and bring it into your 5e games.

Hammer & Anvil

Forge unique weapons and armour unlike anything the world has ever seen. Your great work may start as a humble longsword, but with the right equipment and materials, you will be able to craft a legendary blade capable of cleaving reality in two and summoning an ethereal being to serve by your side. 

Forge custom weapons and become a legendary weaponsmith with Cubicle 7’s new Weapon Forging system. 

Craft new armour for you and your party with our Armour Forging rules. Your tailoring and modifications will ensure a perfect fit for you and your allies!

Turn mundane gear into artefacts of legend with our Magic Item Enchanting rules! Use your arcane talents to enhance the weapons and armour you craft, or team up with a powerful spellcaster to create potent magical effects.

Mortar & Pestle

Brew poisons, potions, and elixirs for every occasion. Plant your own magical garden to grow the priceless herbs you need, or gather your party to hunt down terrifying monsters and harvest rare components.  

Our Alchemy system allows you to concoct a brand new range of bizarre potions. Mix reagents and refine alchemical components to create invigorating potions to bolster your allies. 

For more sinister adventurers, our new Poisons will give you a lethal edge. Prepare toxic venoms to make every strike a deadly one and leave your foes debilitated. 

Hunt monsters and harvest rare magical components to use in your concoctions.

Tend your own garden! Plant the seeds and watch them grow as you cultivate a range of vibrant and bizarre flora to use in your brews.

==================================

Kickstarter campaign ends: Wed, February 14 2024 2:00 PM UTC +00:00

Website: [Cubicle 7] [facebook] [twitter] [instagram]

[sodium-chloride-blog]

Thought I’d share some of my thought process behind my blue team face hc’s since so many of you seemed to like it so much

I’m absolutely biased since Church is by far my favorite (if that wasn’t obvious enough already), so he probably had the most thought put into his design.

According to the ultimate fanbook, the Director got in a fight with another private when he was in basic training who apparently broke his nose, up until Allison beat up the other guy. It’s not as noticeable in the hc sketches but in most art of Church I try to keep a small bump in the nose because of that. I just thought it was a cool nod to how Church is based on the Director.

Honestly I just can’t help but agree with the combination of glasses, black spiky hair, and goatee as the most widely-agreed upon design for Church. Like yeah, that’s what that crusty screaming blue guy would look like 👍

Compared to Tucker and Caboose, he goes through the least amount of drastic changes, somewhat due to the fact that he isn’t in a human body for very long. I like to think Church in his original AI form resembled a younger Director, maybe in his 20′s or 30′s, and the body they picked for him later just needed to look similar enough that the Alpha AI wouldn’t question it. It’s not exact, finding a perfect match is probably impossible, but I like to think poor Private Jimmy just happened to look enough like a younger Director that he ended up the Alpha AI’s host.

Seeing as Epsilon is based on an AI who’s based on a person, it made sense to me that the details got muddled somewhere down the line like a game of telephone. Since he’s only a fragment, the details aren’t as precise as they were on Alpha Church, hence more straight edges (like a model with less polygons).

Tucker was by far the most fun to work on, honestly. The fandom seems a little more divided on how he should look, but that just gave me more ideas to work with.

I like the idea that all 3 of them started off with shorter, ‘military-approved’ length haircuts which grew out as rvb went on.

Can’t forget Florida’s comment about Tucker’s ‘metrosexual good looks’

After the BGC and Tucker went on to become an ambassador, I imagine he got more confident with his energy sword and himself as a soldier. He’s got a few scars, a little stubble, and he’s grown up a bit, but he’s still good ol’ Tucker. His hair kind of worked perfectly for me to illustrate how he grows and develops as a person, for better and for worse.

In The Recollection Trilogy, it’s grown out a bit, but Tucker still keeps his hair neat and up in a ponytail. He’s still figuring shit out, but he’s doing well for himself.

Then the Chorus Trilogy comes along and BAM, hit ‘em with the depression. Some more facial hair, another piercing, a few more scars, but mostly the eyebags and his hair growing out more. First Epsilon leaving with Carolina, then losing Wash, Tucker had to balance the sudden responsibility of becoming captain to the lieutenants on Chorus along with the stress of losing his friends. He was never the leader, Church was always around 'to take the blame when shit went wrong’, and then Wash took his place. A ton of responsibility is suddenly thrust onto Tucker (bow chika bow wow), and I wanted to illustrate visually that he’s NOT taking it well at ALL.

Not only did his hair get longer, but it’s more disheveled now, hanging lower and not as neat anymore as he struggles to keep everything together.

Finally though, I like to think he eventually felt worthy enough as a soldier, a leader, and as a warrior to shave the energy sword symbol into his hair. I’ve seen a ton of fantastic art where people gave him that, and I loved it, but to me it felt almost like a sign of honor, something that he didn’t feel he was ready for until later into the Chorus trilogy when he’d start getting his foothold and regaining his confidence. Eventually he felt he was ready as he truly became a warrior deserving of the symbol.

Caboose was probably the hardest to pin down. There’s a ton of variation in designs, and I don’t think a single design has really become the most agreed-upon. It took some time to think of a design that, at least to me, felt like it matched his voice and personality.

Just like Church and Tucker, I gave him a shorter haircut for his BGC era when he was still a rookie. I had to ensure he looked friendly enough, so after a little searching around for ideas I settled on curly hair. I imagine he’d probably be a brunette. Real warm vibe.

Shoutout to @picz for the idea to give him freckles, outstanding move.

Of course during the Recollection Trilogy his hair grows out like it does for Tucker since they’re... Not really in the army anymore...? They’re sorta... Doing their own thing, so I imagine no one’s sticking to army protocols for hair length anymore (Except Sarge, obviously. Might make some red team face hc’s sometime too....)

I get the impression Caboose doesn’t outwardly show signs of stress quite as badly as Tucker during the Chorus Trilogy. He’s sad Epsilon left, but he isn’t anywhere near overwhelmed or distressed enough to develop eyebags like Tucker.

His hair has grown out longer, so Tucker or Wash probably tied it up into a ponytail for him.

Of course, Caboose grows up too, so I put some facial hair on that boy, plus a few more band-aids and patches here and there. He’s probably got a few scars by now, but not as many as Tucker since Tucker seems more the type to get up close and personal in combat with his energy sword.

[aerithium]

FFXIV Endwalker Review!

*Spoilers Ahead*

★ Score: 10/10 ★ Date Finished: May 30th, 2024 ★ Final Thoughts: I'm not entirely sure words can describe how I feel about this expansion. I feel as though my haste to get through the expansion speaks volumes, completing one of the longer expansion in just over a week. This expansion is the (nearly) perfect finale to every single one that lies before it, there was no better way for this story to end, and begin again. The overall story flows perfectly, with very few moments of "low" energy. Each of its own quest lines serve greatly to the overarching story of the expansion, my favorite being the time the WOL spends with the ancients. To be there with characters that are once your enemies and allies, yet before they even know, creates strong emotions and the entirely seperate world is easy to fall in love with. The area designs overall are fucking phenomenal, each on is so different from the others and have their own beauties with in. The characters, both new and old, are so incredibly written a factor of media that means the most to me. I've felt this in the previous expansions but it seems to shine well here, each close ally of the player's is their individual person and they are all so different from one another. Such as the ways they talk to their allies, the player, and the choices they make during the expansion. The new characters recieve this treatment as well, and have great development across the expansion's story. My only problems with characters rely with the twin's father, who has a distinct moment that I felt didn't align with his overall writing as a character. The music in this expansion also utterly smashes the music from all the expansions before it. And I mean SMASH. Every song is so perfect for the moment in game that it plays, and the music is used in a way that truly amplifies the events that unfold in the story. The ending of the expansion leaves so much to look forward to without making anything feel incomplete, which solidifies the end of the current story arc but still leaves much to look forward to in the next expansion. I was seriously just blown away with this one. That's the only way I can put it. Following up to talk about the post Endwalker content, the story overall didn't have me as roped in but its rather hard to follow up the expansion that Endwalker is. The existing characters were still as great as ever (I'm lookin at you Estinien) and the newly introduced characters were very enjoyable. Zero's character development across the post-EW quests was really well done and you could slowly see her begin to make more sense of human feelings such as trust. The dungeons and trials were also fantastic, some being among my favorite in the game. The Dawntrail build up quests are small but they do a great job of ramping up the players hype for the coming expansion and feeds into the spontaneous nature of everything. This side content alongside post-EW (normal and alliance raids) were also really awesome, getting to spend more time in Elpis and meet more of our former enemies was just what I wanted and then to get to learn more of the Twelve. It was the perfect time to expand upon their existence after both Hydaelyn and Zodiark's defeat. Finally, the music is actually insane for these set of patches. I constantly found myself jamming out to the music in the new content I was doing. The post content has only further solidified my desire to give Endwalker the 10/10 it deserves.

[larsnicklas]

watching game 7 properly a day late bc my plane wifi was NOT good. "live" blog under the cut tehe!!

sasha absolutely obliterating a man in the corner was NOT on my bingo card but i liked it

ah gorgeous tip by mr v.erhaeghe. i knew he was going to show up that man ONLY scores big time goals

i love that pomo put okie back in the lineup. and not just bc i hate nick c.ousins lol it's just like. it's the right thing to do, to give okie a wack at this. i know when you're making lineup decisions it can't be about sentimentality but sometimes the Right thing to do is also the morally correct one lol

i do wonder a little if something is limiting bob physically a bit. obviously nothing that really has impeded him but. just something that's hindering his natural athleticism JUST a touch

good fun first period. it's very nice that both teams decided to play well in the same game. this has not happened during all games of this final LOL

espn wanted the o.ilers to win so bad they looked silly. especially m.essier AKSLJDFLAKSJD

okay lmfao you know what. that tripping call on matthew was NOT a trip. should've just been incidental contact, just a nothing collision. however. there COULD have been a call on erod for goalie interference so i think all in all it's ok. THAT BEING SAID puck don't lie and that's why the cats got the kill <3

stenny spent a minute and a half without a stick on the kill he is so cool so brave i would die for him i am so serious. also gus using stenny's stick wronghanded and also like probably five inches too big for him...... that was so harrowing. but bob was so up to the task. kith. i love him.

the cats really finally looked like themselves again this game eh. it was so good to see them LOL they are really such a joy when they play their game

fourth line looked very good

hockey is so funny in the way that a chance at one end can result in a goal at the other

that was an UNREAL play by kuli by the way. i'm so glad he had the second touch on the puck because he deserved an assist, batting the puck away from the crease while falling down. great shot by reino, and WHAT a pop in that building. my god. i knew it was coming and my heart is still pounding. holyyy what a moment

boys were laying the body. very good. wear them down.

e.kblad-f.orsling pairing you are SO very extremely important to me.

i don't mean to be too predictable but. samuel b.ennett is really such a warrior he's just got the heart of a lion he's mean he's intense he gets an icy cold calm feral look in his eye sometimes it's terrifying. i LOVE him. playing this whole series with a bum knee and honestly skating well, all things considered. fuck darnell n.urse lol

fascinating strategy from the cats in the third (treat it like a 20 min penalty kill) but i guess if it works it works!!!

bob was so locked in. the way the crowd popped with every save he made as the third period progressed..... man i LOVE sports

the scramble with 7 min left on the clock; dude florida owes gus f.orsling WHATEVER he asks for.

bob actually made a miraculous glove save on that play as well i feel so genuinely glad he had a bounce back game like this to win the cup

cats did a very nice job in the final stretch making it difficult for the oil to pull s.kinner

that being said. if EYE was a coach and my team was desperately trying to get the equalizer to extend the season and my opponent iced the puck with 3:29 left i would definitely pull my goalie and get my sixth man on the ice in the offensive zone but. idk what do i know

oh my heart really does swell with joy and pride lol they were truly selling out in the final minutes. bob was so fantastic. the five guys on the ice were throwing themselves in front of the puck, in front of sticks, in front of bodies. this is such a panthers way to play

btw sasha really embodies just. THEEE ideal. he plays hockey in a way that makes you nod sagely and go ah, that's how that's supposed to work. he's really wonderful i know he doesn't care to be a household name but i'm glad he will be (by hockey standards anyway) after this cup run

oh they are such a great team man. seriously when gus and mikksy and benny went into the corner to keep the puck along the boards for the final seconds ooooh the confidence i felt. no way THOSE guys were about to lose a board battle in THIS scenario. no fucking way. dudes rock.

also i did cry on the plane yesterday but that did NOT innoculate me from crying again today :( like what. i'm supposed to look at the tears in aaron's eyes and NOT well up in response??

me 🤝 keith t.kachuk wiping tears from my eyes

ok this concludes my "live" blog sorry if any of you actually read this. it wasn't very coherent

[ciaossu-imagines]

Hi I'm the previous Jihyun enthusiast here! How do you think he acts when he's angry? Like full-blown anger about something that he thinks is wrong? I don't think the game ever presents him as angry, only apologetic, so I'm curious of your take on this. You write him so well I keep going back to your writings for him.

Oh my gosh, that is such a fantastic compliment and I’m very flattered that you think I write V so well! Honestly, I adore him and find him such a fascinating, complex, interesting character so I’m more than happy to write for him again! I hope you’ll enjoy, dear!

In a odd sort of headcanon, I do see Jihyun, as a child, being a lot more comfortable expressing his anger. Even throughout middle school and high school, I do think he had a much shorter fuse than he has as an adult and, emulating his father, he did express a lot more anger and disdain.

I do see V’s father as an angry sort of man, someone whose temper was quick to provoke and unpredictable and, though V does, on some level, love his father, as he grew to resent the man and distanced himself from his father, Jihyun sort of vowed to himself that he would never end up becoming his father. As such, I do think he really took huge steps in working on his temper.

However, I also think that, in doing so, V really has become uncomfortable with anger as an emotion. He’s uncomfortable with others expressing anger, especially when it’s aimed towards him (though there is a part of him that does believe that he deserves others anger, feels like he is rightly to blame for it, and does sort of see it as being something that others should feel towards him, something he deserves). But even more so, I really do feel like V is really, really uncomfortable with his own anger. He doesn’t like feeling angry; feeling angry makes him feel guilty and ashamed, which only fuels his anger towards himself. Feeling angry feels bad, feels wrong, feels dirty to V and so, whenever something does irritate him or does make him angry, he really does suppress those emotions really hard, bottling them up deep inside of himself and that does mean that there’s always this hot little kernel, way down deep in Jihyun, that is a very angry person.

As an adult though, it is much rarer for V to get truly angry, as his once short fuse has grown considerably longer. He really did grow out of his hot-head phase, especially as he grew to learn that his father’s anger towards the world wasn’t really a normal reaction to things. He’s really learned to shrug off a lot of behaviour, even things that are definitely not normal to shrug off or accept, to keep the peace and to make everything okay.

Because anger is such a complex emotion for V to deal with, when he does get angry and he really can’t suppress it or tie it down or shrug it off, I think he does have a really hard time dealing with it and his go-to is to jump straight to logic and reasoning as a defense mechanism to keep his emotions at bay. He wants to know why whoever did what they did to upset him made those choices. Was he at fault in any way for their choices? What could he have done better? What can he do now to make things better, both for the person who has made him angry and for whoever that person hurt (because the unforgivable for V, the one guarantee to make him angry, is to hurt others unrepentedly, especially if he cannot comprehend the reasoning behind it)? He tries desperately to search for reasons and solid ground with the person he’s angry at and does try to reach compromises, just because he really wants to stop feeling that anger as quickly as he can.

I also want to note that V…not a screamer. His anger isn’t, and has never been, loud and violent and noisy. His anger is very quiet, very calm, but when he does get truly angry, it’s very direct, very focused anger.

[iamluzgar]

I finally finished FFXIV Dawntrail and I have many many thoughts about it. So, spoilers, and bare with me.

I had a lot of troubles to get into it at first, but I always feel that way for much of the extension I've played so it didn't change much. I pushed through, and I'm glad I did. I loved the theme of discovering new people and cultures to get to know them, and to like them. Which was an ongoing thing.

I liked Wuk Lamat a lot as a character. She's a bit immature, but she has a lot of potential, as you say to Gulool Ja. Loved having Thancred and Urianger against me for a change, especially in that dungeon. I got into it more and more, wanting Wuk Lamat to succeed because there were many hints showing she would do well (like for example with the bandits, I saw another post on tumblr mentioning it, but she directly thought about a system failiure problem, rather than thinking the people were bad). She adapted herself to the best of her ability to the culture she met with an open mind, even when she was afraid, unsure or disagreed with it. The VA did a fantastic job imo for her voice.

Of course the rest of the gang was here too and it was incredible. I loved how Erenville finally got the spotlight he so deserved. I wasn't a fan of Krile, but now I do like her and that's the power of FFXIV imo.

Anyway, the first part was great, and it was an important part because the WoL can finally indulge in some "selfish" actions like battling big dudes, deities, eating stuff, traveling, meeting people, doing the good old Azem and I think they'd be proud. The game keeps pushing you Emet, from what he said to you on the last expansion, and I liked that, it keeps him alive. I obviously missed Venat, Hythlodaeus, Elidibus and Emet a lot from this expansion, so it was nice to have some mentions of them. However, especially with the second part of the game, you realize how the shadow of the Ascien still fly above us and all of the reflections. Because I am persuaded they had a hand in the creation of electrope and the key.

The second part was even greater. It started weak with the Western like stuff (I'm not a fan of that and it felt like post-MSQ quests), but then it really starts: not only it brings back stakes (because... Well, I laughed when people made Valigarmanda a "big threat", considering we killed Despair a few months ago in the game), but it also is a pay off from the first part. You grew attached to Wuk Lamat, to Tuliyollal and its people. And now they're in danger.

Which brings us to New Alexandria, with its strange culture of pushing away death. The whole part with Alexandria felt like a metaphore from our own real world. We too, tend to push death away, put people dying away from society and from our eyes, forget them. It really resonated with my experience, especially considering I've been a volunteer in palliative care for a year. The whole thing of accepting death is a main topic in this second part of the game.

We brushed a bit too fast over the identity issues Zoraal Ja felt, I feel, sadly. I wish we could have had a bit more to humanize him.

Then the last zone... It truly touched my soul. We do the exact opposite thing that we did in Endwalker. In Endwalker, we started from nothing, we added music, colors, we reanimated species from death. In Dawntrail, we "turned off" people, we removed the colors and the songs from the places we were visiting. It was powerful to observe it, doing a different kind of walk, maybe even a harder one. Idk for WoL, but it was harder for me. Because we were still "killing" people, and we can only sympathize with Sphene's desires to let her people live more, whatever the cost of it. We hope and pray there might be another way for everybody to be happy.

It brings me back to palliative care in the real world. This world Sphene created, was a metaphor for therapeutic obstinacy and the artificial prolongation of life. At some point, there is nothing you can do, and you have to "pull the plug". You have to say good bye. To your own family, to your friends, to people you knew more or less. What's left of them then? All the memories you had with them, and that's it, and as the Yok Huy's philosophy, they kinda live through you that way.

Contrary to Meteion, our action of killing the people in that zone was not born of desperation of not being able to save them, but from an acknowledgement that this artificial prolongation of life is no longer sustainable, it will give more pain and will sacrifice ressources that could be given to people who still have a chance to continue living. At some point, when there is no chance to sustain a life, we need to make peace with the fact that it's over. That death is a part of life, and might always be. The next day always happen, with a beautiful sunset, new lives, new hopes, new stories, and new adventures, with new people. It's an end, but it's not the end.

As someone who lost my mom when I was a teenager, it was comforting to see those moms having so much hope, love and pride for their children. I could hear my own mom through them. We see a lot of moms, and we have to say good bye to a lot of them, and that was difficult. I both hate and like the fact that FFXIV has a tendency to kill moms or otherwise important female caretaking figures. :( They displayed a lot of different relationships between family members regarding their future death, and that was also interesting. Family, in the large sense of it, was a very big topic of this expansion.

On a gameplay part, I loved almost everything. They upped up the difficulty a notch, and it was perfect. I love how they made new ways of seeing AoE while also still making it clear it's an AoE. Very good ideas there. Loved the last two dungeons.

I was not a fan of the music this extension, but well nothing is perfect. I'm not a fan of FFIX and obviously a lot was taken from it.

Hope that didn't bore you out!

TL;DR Incredible writing as usual.

[oswlld]

oswlld's media wrap up: the oscars

note: i am trying something a bit different this year, so bear with me as i figure out how i want to format this. i wanted to spend more time sharing what i consume, beyond what i rb, and put my thoughts in one place. ✨ = personal fav

—

The Barber of Little Rock, YouTube (watched on 2/17) A sharp take on the economic injustice in the town divide of Little Rock. Very concise with its message, “A tree is known by the fruit that it bears. So, if I don’t see any fruit, I don’t see any impact. If you have money and you have wealth and you can’t create impact, what’s the point?” — Island in Between, YouTube (watched on 2/19) Loved the updated storytelling of displacement and crisis of identity when COVID-19 is thrown into the mix. I hope the families that have been torn apart due to COVID measures have/will be reunited soon. — Pachyderme, Vimeo (watched on 2/22) The medium matched the tone of the story wonderfully and the pacing was well executed. — The Last Repair Shop, Shortverse ✨ (watched on 2/23, pictured left) SPECTACULAR! Truly shines on every level. The only short that made me tear up in the end. — Invincible, Shortverse (watched on 2/25) The actor who portrays the protagonist is so talented! If he continues to nurture his acting, I can’t wait to see what he does next. — The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar, Netflix✨ (watched on 3/2, pictured right) I truly believe this deserved the win, it was magical from beginning to end. It makes me want to backtrack and see the other Roald Dahl shorts. — Ninety-Five Senses, DOC+ ✨ (watched on 3/3, pictured top) This one took me by surprise! Beautiful storytelling and utilization of the theme and medium to its fullest potential. Very much worthy of its nomination, bravo. — Ridder Lykke, Shortverse (watched on 3/6) What a delightful way to end the shorts journey. The most unique, original take on grief that left me smiling.

Watched Nai Nai & Wài Pó (review here) and Letter to a Pig last year.

—

Nimona, Netflix (watched on 3/2) I am a simple person, I see those big brown eyes and I buckle. What a wild journey it has been to follow the development of this film and I am so happy for Nate and everyone involved. — Rustin, Netflix (watched on 3/4) One of the very few instances where I really wished a movie was produced as a limited series. I want his story to be fleshed out more, I wanted to feel the full weight of what that march did for him and for history. Colman Domingo’s charm shines in this role. — Elemental, Disney+✨ (watched on 3/7, pictured bottom) If you told me this time last year that this movie would leave me sobbing at 1am, I would have told you you were crazy and to get some rest. What else is there to say that others haven’t said already. I am so happy that the younger generations have this alongside the likes of Moana and Turning Red. — Poor Things, Hulu (watched on 3/11) This was… a film. I did like the aromantic aspects of Bella Baxter and the dynamic she has with Max. Still trying to sort through my thoughts, but the fact that it still can make me think is… something. — The Holdovers, Peacock✨ (watched on 3/12, pictured top) I love me a great ensemble cast and everyone was on the top of their game with this gem. The director, cinematographer, production designer, and colorist work together seamlessly. Fantastic, truly extraordinary. — American Symphony, Netflix (watched on 3/20) I had this film on my radar before the Oscar noms were announced, so I anticipated tackling this movie hoping it was part of the doc category. In the end, I chose to tackle this movie despite its only nom under Original Song. Having tackled the Documentary categories, this would have been one of the weaker ones amongst the docs I’ve seen but still a very worthy story to tell.

Watched Barbie and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse last year; I hope to still catch Oppenheimer and Robot Dreams later this year.

—

Perfect Days, In Theaters ✨(JAPAN, watched on 2/15, pictured right) This was the only Oscar nom that I caught in theaters this year (whereas the majority were on YT/streaming). This movie will hold a very special place in my heart having experienced this in theaters with a great group of people. Wim Wenders deserved this nomination, this is one of his best. — Bobi Wine: The People’s President, Hulu (UGANDA, watched on 2/28) I am so glad I watched this movie. This is a true heavyweight of a film. So much passion, pain, and tenacity. — 20 Days in Mariupol, PBS (UKRAINE, watched on 3/6, DNF) I will be completely honest, I almost made it to the end but could not watch the last 20 minutes. During the Oscar speech, when the filmmaker said he wished he didn’t make this film, I felt every word of that. It is so, so hard to watch but NECESSARY. — El Conde, Netflix (CHILE, watched on 3/8) Of all the noms I had to catch up on this season, this was the only one that landed on mid for me. It is as advertised, a dark horror comedy, but it doesn’t challenge itself. The cinematography was its best attribute. — Four Daughters, Netflix✨ (TUNISIA, watched on 3/23, pictured middle) I’m positive this was the BEST thing I watched this Oscar season. I want to 🎶siiiiiiiiiIIIINNNGGGG all the highest praises🎵. I am obsessed with the way the filmmaker brings us a half step back behind the camera, showing all facets of the story in front of and behind the camera. I want to talk about it more but it’s better to go into this fresh. I’m obsessed, I’m obsessed, IM OBSESSEDDD. — Society of the Snow, Netflix✨ (URUGUAY, watched on 3/24, pictured left) If this movie came out ten years ago, my only wish is that hellsite would have obsessed over these boys the same way we did for all my Les Amis. The cherry on top was seeing that Michael Giacchino composed the score. What a way to end the Oscar watch journey this season.

I hope to still catch Io Capitano and The Boy and the Heron later this year.

—

Trigger Warnings for films mentioned :

INVINCIBLE : su*cide attempt (drowning)

POOR THINGS : medical dissection of the human body, su*cide (jumping)

BOBI WINE : illusions of torture, gun violence, hostage situations

20 DAYS IN MARIUPOL : graphic visuals of war tactics, amputations, child death, panic attacks

EL CONDE : beheading

FOUR DAUGHTERS : allusions to sexual abuse with a minor(s)

SOCIETY OF THE SNOW : graphic plane crash trauma, cannibalism