#trying to relearn how to finish digital art =_=

[crtastrophe]

the studious homunculus attends its homework most diligently

[cultofthepigeon]

i need an art therapist in that, i need a psychologist who is an artist to explain why all the art i make is bad

[citrus-cactus]

Citrus' Art Summary 2023!

The year is almost over, so here's my art summary for 2023! I got this template from here. This is my third year in a row being able to populate every month with a finished(/digital) piece (and really, I did a LOT more than what's shown here!), so that feels like something to celebrate!

Technically some of these choices don’t match up with their post dates; I counted some months as “when I was primarily working on them” and some as “when I actually published them,” but the sentiment remains. Like I said, it was a busy year! :)

Some more rambling + links to all featured artwork beneath the cut:

I remember last year I was quite worried about/was actually teetering on the edge of artistic burnout. There were definitely some months during this year that I felt a bit overwhelmed (particularly during the summer, when I was working on a 5-illustration series in a style that was DEFINITELY outside my norm, PLUS a bunch of other stuff), but I also appreciated the stylistic variety, and doing a lot of sketchbook drawings/marginalia that were(/are) just for me, so they never had to be "finished” or even "good." Even though almost everything pictured here is Digimon(/anime) art, I did experiment with a more "realistic" style for the Dracula Daily series (Aug/Sept), as well as trying to relearn the "Disney" style I started drawing in waaaaaaay back in high school, only now with a LOT more understanding of facial structure and anatomy. Largely, this style shake-up has been incredibly freeing (these are still sketchbook-only studies at this point, but I'm planning on some digital illustrations in the Disney style in 2024). I'm sure they still look pretty anime-influenced, and I'm not sure I'll ever truly be able to escape that, but honestly I don't mind; the anime aesthetic IS a part of my preference/style!

Let's see, the prevailing fandoms for what's shown here are Digimon Survive and Adventure 02. I really want to draw more Survive art next year!! Really happy with the collabo between @vidramon and myself (July), and honestly most (if not all) of these pieces. I worked hard, I branched out, I took on some really ambitious projects, and finished a ton of things (looking at you, March! That Knight drawing was a WIP for an entire year, but I finished it instead of abandoning it, which is what usually happens when things sit around that long!). Ultimately, I believe I told (and helped tell!) some great stories through my creative projects and art this year, which is my true goal forever and always.

Honestly I'm happiest with April's drawing. That one was a ton of fun to do, but I would have to work really hard to replicate that coloring style because I don't remember my brushes/settings, ahaha. Sadly this is how it usually goes with coloring for me; I make it up as I go almost every single time, which is why series are so difficult for me. I am nothing if not inconsistent -_-;

I would be remiss to mention that a huge part of my productivity this year was due to setting and tracking monthly goals for myself. I gotta thank everyone on the @campdigimonth server for their help in keeping me organized and motivated throughout the year! I plan on continuing my creative check-in posts in 2024.

Next year, I want to a) make more Survive art (particularly with Survive Week coming up), b) draw some more flippin' gargoyles (CRIIIINGE, but no, cringe is dead, I'mma do what I want!), and c) keep working on my personal project! And I am, once again, thinking about bookbinding. That's a "maybe" for next year as well!

Descriptions and links to the full artwork pictured for each month:

January: Survive Week, Day 5

February: Survive Gang Aromantic Week

March: Knight Unryuuji and Friend

April: “Rose-Tinted” fic illustration

May: Happy Birthday Vi!

June: Happy Birthday Haru Shinkai!

July: Happy 1st Anniversary Survive! (aka BEST SOCK FRIENDS)

August: Dracula, September 13

September: Dracula, September 20

October: Adv 02 Countdown Event, Day 7

November: “Boo!” on the Cob

December: Digimon Secret Santa 2023

[eldritch-spouse]

Where’s Fasma Anon again :3

I just wanted to say that reading about your characters and looking at your art has inspired me to do digital drawings again. This also made me realize that trying to learn how to use an entirely new program is a bad idea :( buts it’s too late I’ve already started

BUT!! I think I might have found Fasma~ it’s gonna take forever to finish...

All for your stupid plasma man ❤️

OH DAMN- That's so cool!! Hope you can enjoy it more this time, anon! Digital art is not always an easy transition to make, it takes some relearning for sure. But it also offers you a lot of creativity.

I'm gonna be real, I prefer my programs simple. That's why I'm usually an Ibis Paint fiend. (I have acquired more complex programs but they just sit there gathering dust, y'know? :'])

Render the drunkard goblin to his full unholy glory- 💪You can do it!

[verusalka]

i think this is the first year ever that i managed to not only complete enough artwork to fill out one of these art summaries, but have felt proud of my finished work.

i feel like i've been working at this for the past 6? going on 7 years when i finally decided to try to crawl out of my artblock hell. i started drawing again in my sketchbook sometime around 2017 and told myself if i finished it, i'd get myself an ipad and start relearning digital art again.

it's always hard to see how much improvement you've made in the moment, but me from 7 years ago would have been frothing at the mouth to make art like this

i hope she's proud :")

ps the template is on bsky

[moreaujeans]

so excited for summer i am going!! to do new things!!! i am SERIOUS this time

[moonliched]

Deer!

Also how do I get good at art, I'm trying but it just keeps looking bad

BEAUTIFUL🗣️🔊 wanna feed it marshmallow🥺🌷

sooo to improve in art, the boring way is typically best - practice plenty, draw draw draw. i have been drawing all my life, but only began digital art in 2020. looking up the simple tricks helps - e.g. i draw hands by creating a box and rectangles for the fingers as framework. i draw bodies by stacking circles the width of a head. sometimes this means taking steps back to the basics and relearning some stuff you might have missed out, which is frustrating but helpful in the end.

mostly, i improve by identifying what i want in my work and incorporating it into future images. like, i figured i was drawing my characters too squat, and began elongating them. my colours were dark and blurred together, so i began raising the contrast and brightening my palettes.

perfectionism is fine, but experimentation is an excellent method to improvement. what will work for others might not for you and vice versa, so trying different styles and techniques is good. some people can draw something straight up, and others need 10 sketch layers, it's all fine.

i don't have natural talent as an artist, but as the process of drawing is fun by itself i carry on doing it. it's important to note that your art will rarely look 'good' to you, as you are the one who created it and can see all the mistakes, inconsistencies, and building blocks. others won't necessarily be able to spot all that - they will see the finished piece. if you draw to get good you will often feel unsatisfied as your standards raise with your own improvement, but if you enjoy the process and have fun, it will be a fulfilling hobby. and one day you will blink and realise how far your skills have grown☺️

i hope my rambling is helpful!

[retrodaft]

What’s been happening and going to happen for the future

So first off just to clear the blog isn’t ending. I wanted to explain why things have been slow on the blog, lack of uploads, and posts.

Ever since September things started getting busy, I finally saved enough money to buy a iPad Air for drawing. And was excited to start to relearn to use a tablet( I used to do some digital art back in high school)

At the same time while I also had been going back to school ( adult education) to finish my certification cuz things were getting back to normal hahaha na this world still mess up but at least school was open. But then I had another problem, work.

I had been in retail for years, I like my job and my coworkers but it was becoming more stressful and demanding, with a pay rate that was low for this economy. I think we all know especially if you live in American how bad things have been getting with the growing inflation.

What also didn’t help you never leave on time ever. You’re shift done at 9:30 nope you are here intell 10 or even 11 pass. Being understaff and etc made me worried and so stressed. So I got a new job and finish school, cuz I had people on me about “it’s been years why aren’t you done yet?!” The pandemic HELLO.

By January I finished school which yayyyyyyy! And got a another job opportunity. There’s other things that had happened, trying to eat healthy, home issues, car problems, etc. I had TV to keep distracted but then I was changing my mind on what I wanted to watch.

This now goes into what will posting on the blog and thoughts on starwars.

I still like starwars love ya, but I don’t feel the same inspiration and excitement for the newest shows to come. Actually I was barely enjoying anything new from Starwars.

And please this is just my opinion, if you enjoy the sw shows that’s great. But for me everything that came out after mando season two was mediocre, ok or trash. It just wasn’t good, the story , the writing, animation or live action, the freaking editing jeez.

Maybe some of you already know but I don’t care for the bad batch, didn’t care for their introduction or much less for the show. Just didn’t like concept but still gave the first season a shot watch a couple times. Then sw fandom ..

The discourse in the fandom, some of y’all are wonderful in your art and I hope you keep pursuing it. And some of you are cursed, there were more clonest art and debating about sw shows in general, sometimes I wonder if some fans are even real or just bots. The changes to the canon or what even is the canon anymore? Jeez the arguments on canon. Or people putting all the trust into one person thinking they saved the franchise, yeah don’t count on that. Not to mention the weird raise of sexualizing of characters and real people (if you know,you know)

Over the year my attention went to other stuff, my friends got me into model kits it started first with transformers some years back but there weren’t many. But there’s plenty of gundams plus a new show with their first female lead, awesome soundtrack, and girlfriends ooh yes please.

Plus with Crunchyroll I’m able to finally watch some of the old anime’s I saw bits of as a kid. But now able watch the whole thing. Plus coming on the horizon a reimagining of a anime I haven’t seen sense freshmen year huh?!

SO there was a reimagining of Trigun if you haven’t heard please please go watch, I really want a part two please! It’s doing ok in the numbers, you can watch both the new one and the 1998 oh version on both Crunchyroll and Hulu. Watch both, there’s also a the original manga but unfortunately the publisher hasn’t reprint the manga so yeah it’s expensive to buy. BUT THERES HOPE right here on Tumblr you can read for free. But please to donate too cuz these fans are doing the work to translate.

Also NEW TRANSFORMERS MOVIE LETS GOOO, so yeah get ready cuz my art is changing again, I still would like to work on my starwars ocs still.

But there will be more Trigun fanart for sure, along with pics of my growing plant and model kit collection. Photography too, you can look at my toy photography I have done on instagram under the same name. There is gonna be cosplay work too, THANK YOU all for still being here,reading, thank you to all my followers!

It’s been a crazy last year let’s hope for a better one.

[mb0w]

number 6 for the fandom ask game!!

what is something you're very proud of finishing?

OH OK this one is fun cause i have a couple. first one is prolly my knifetrick fanart i did a while ago because it was my first time doing digital art in a LONG time, and i had to relearn how to work my program and everything. but i’m really really proud of how it turned out!!

the second one is the c!techno/tubbo/ghostboo piece that i posted a few days ago because it took me literal WEEKS and i almost gave up on it several times. i was getting really frustrated with the character proportions and trying to find a design i liked, but i stuck with it and now it’s one of my favorites :D

[hillnerd-art]

bummer of an announcement

So! I got an anon asking ‘it's been a while since you posted art. are you still making art?’ Honestly? No, I’m not. Not really. Not right now.

TLDR; I can’t make art right now due to medical reasons. I do not know when this will change. 

I’m still in the Potter fandom. I’ll still post art here when it is made- 

 @hillnerd​ I will be still be doing tons of the other fandom stuff.

I’ll still continue hosting fandom events as well.

If you still want to support my work/creative stuff/medical stuff with money, I have a ko-fi you can always send 'tips' to. ko-fi.com/P5P2841I

WAY more detailed information under the cut

For the past few months I’ve not been able to make art because stylus/pen-holding has been nearly impossible for me. I have a few medical conditions that sometimes make it very difficult for me to do art. Recently it's gotten worse and worse.

I have about 8+/- sketches and drawings queued up to post (need to get around to posting them!) and have a line up of commissions I am trying to get done.

After that... I honestly don’t know how much art I can guarantee I’ll make. I will always be an artist of the heart, but my body simply won’t let me continue right now. Well obviously I'm going to push through and finish all my obligations- including last commissions- but after that it's up to my body.

When/If I am making art again after this last push (and I'm certain I will eventually! I mean, this CAN'T last forever, I hope!) it'll be fandom, or working on my pride and prejudice comic etc.

I am honoring all my commission commitments!

If I still owe you one and you are concerned pm me or email me.

I am shutting down my patreon,

and won’t be taking sketch requests or commissions for the foreseeable future.

Patrons there’s a special announcement there for you.

If you still want to support my work/creative stuff/medical stuff with money

I have a ko-fi account you can always send 'tips' to.  https://ko-fi.com/P5P2841I

Wait, aren't I a full-time artist???

I was, but I'm not anymore. I started working with kids back in november. I'm now going to graduate school to get a master's degree in teaching. My medical issues are part of why I'm becoming a teacher instead of remaining a full-time artist. I can't do my work anymore like I did (plus I hated so much of the non-fanon work I did! :P graphic design is the devil.)  I am very excited about teaching and genuinely love it- and hopefully my medical situation will improve and I'll be able to do art on the regular for fun/my own projects! But I can't do it on command in a timely manner anymore.

Am I staying in the fandom?

YES!  I can still type, I can still talk, I can actually do a ton of things (RP, chats, meta, fic writing etc- none of them are deeply affected by this).  I just can't hold my pen/stylus for longer than like 5-10 minutes at a time.

What's my medical situation?

I have a LOT of stuff- but the main one interfering right now is my fibromyalgia. My hands get super sensitive a lot of the time and get easily fatigued. When they are bad they go pins and needs or literally feel like I have a bad sunburn all over my hand, and any pressure for more a minute or so feels like someone grinding a knuckle into a bruise, or like you brushed a sunburn up against sandpaper. It's really intense and hurts a ton. Pushing through this pain is very hard on me.

How come I can do makeup but can't do art?

Makeup changes the brush/tool, pressure on the fingers/hand and angle of the movement a LOT. I'm very fast and it requires only a short spurt of energy to finish each part and i'm in minimal pain. Digitally drawing does not do this- the fingers/hand are stuck in the same general shape, the same muscle groups are enacted continuously, and it required much more dexterous control of the tool in my hand for a longer amount of time. That constant pressure on my hands/fingers is incredibly painful.  I am sure that with time I could relearn how to draw in a different way so this is not an issue- but I'm not going to put pressure on myself about this so I can do fan art.

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO HAS SUPPORTED ME, WHETHER FOR A LONG TIME, OR A SHORT TIME. I REALLY DO APPRECIATE IT!

Again, I’m not ‘retiring from all art ever’- I’m just letting y’all know the situation- that I can’t draw much right now- and you’ll see a slower output of new work. I’m still in the Potter fandom. I’ll still post art here when it is made- it just might be a while after this last push until you see new work.

And honestly, reblogs have been drying up.

I’ve never been that popular of an artist.

People rarely reblog my stuff, and if I’m going to literally push through tons of physical pain to make stuff, I’d like to have an audience that engages with it. Likes don’t spread my art out, and don’t encourage engagement. So there’s that. :P  Anyways that’s it! Bummer of an announcement to have to make but... yuuup.

Stay safe, and keep it magical

-Hilly

[penrose-quinn]

07.24.21

[1] Hello, helloooo!! Ok so RL update, but feel free to ignore my rambling. Y'all know I'm always busy haha, but this time around, I'm taking some graphic design masterclasses and relearning digital art, which I'm realizing is actually kind of fun (I had very little motivation trying it before, despite having a wacom). I'm a painter and traditional illustrator in RL, but it's been tough lately since the pandemic and am broadening my skills for better job prospects. I'll be prioritizing that over writing, but that doesn't mean I won't be writing anything (that'd be the death of me lol). So slower updates, but honestly, that's nothing unusual in this blog✌️

[2] Got into watching Haikyuu again. Finished S1 and steadily graduating to S2. Here's a brief summary of my feelings: In my heart, everyone's a winner. (How tf do I choose sides when I like the characters from these teams??) Every eating scene both warms my heart and makes me tear up. I haven't played volleyball in a long-ass time, but god, those matches give me vivid memories (I get all jumpy when I hear the ball). Anyways, I love watching them. Karasuno bois' dynamic and character development are just *chef's kiss* but them crying also makes me :'(. And I like Oikawa a lot. That’s all! 

[3] Why tf is there something about paid subscriptions in tumblr????? I'm happy to know everyone feels the same. Yes, we should all feel outraged ❤️

[4] Fujimoto's Looking Back. That's it. It’s painful. It's beautiful. He tore my heart to shreds with CSM and he's doing it again with this one-shot :'). (Hurts even more cuz it's about art and friends that inspire each other and then drift apart and a shit ton of grief. That ending, man. Thanks for hitting a sore spot, sensei!)

[5] Writing updates: Sinnerman. For real this time. (Honestly, I blame Geto for distracting me, but ngl Musubi was really fun to write because of him). It's certainly a long fic tho. It's at about 6K atm and nowhere near finished, but I hope it isn’t a bore when it comes out.

[noctanotherone]

So... about Maxyartwork

So...Just wanna apologize ahead of time about how long this is going to be.... but... made a comment to Maxyartwork’s post the other day...about how wrong it is for them to villainize tracing because people have disabilities and health issues that prevent them from doing art normally....

And because I said they were having a bitch fit aka a temper tantrum...they decided to twist what I said, claim I called them a bitch, then proceeded to delete all evidence of what I said and keep theirs up, then block me...

So...I'm going to post up here and pretty much summarized what I said cause a. my memory is shit and I cant remember word for word, and b. some people will go wtf and wanna look it up. Take it as you will, but read before judging... Plus after this, I’ll probably wind up blocking them as well cause All I wanted to do was let them know that hey, maybe stop and think about how this is all helpful to people, maybe bring up some more facts, and say my last peace and leave them alone, (course this is the internet, I should know better by now that that never happens...) But I’m doing that now...

FYI...there is going to be a lot of sarcastic tones in here, sorry if you miss them...

But anyways....

As I briefly mentioned above, I called out Maxyartwork for yelling at people for tracing their artwork... even though the tracings were recolored different...in essence, it was a fanart of a fanart (cause Maxyartwork took someone else’s idea, and someone else's character and redrew it... Pot meet Kettle.)

And when I got a little heated cause of what they said... cause I’m mentally disabled and grew up around those who were mentally and physically disabled, and explained how tracing actually helped not just me but others and how it made them happy to actually be able to draw, and all the good tracing can do, and how it does train your hand to draw better, specially when its not used to doing any drawing or you have to relearn how to draw from scratch cause of an injury... hell, I even told them how tracing helped me as a kid and that I no longer need it now...I then essentially told them they shouldn’t be having a bitch fit over it. (that or they did have one...don't remember which atm...)

They Then proceed to get offended (as mentioned above, they accused me of calling them a bitch) and try to emotionally/verbally manipulate and gaslight me and others.

All because they were so self centered into thinking that tracing does not equal hard work..and that it actually equals *gasp* theft because its so ‘easy’ to do!

And I corrected them and told them, no. Tracing is not theft. It is not illegal, there is no law stating it is, people can trace all they want. Then proceeded to tell them that if I wanted to, I could take every art they posted online, trace it, recolor it, and post it, and that there was nothing they could do about it...cause a. as I said before, not against the law, and b. its the fucking internet... if you don't want it stolen or copied don't post it online.

And of course I'm not gonna do that anyways cause I have muscle issues in my hands, where they cramp up really bad, and I have to stop for hours before continuing again.. I’m already having issues just finishing the artworks I already started!

And then I told them what they should really do is focus on the actual issue, Actual Art theft, where people take others artwork and sell it online....instead of something so small and harmless that it takes away from the actual issue by making such a big deal out of it....

Also I love how they tried to say doing references is okay but tracing is not....like...you legit took someone else's idea, (drawing on eye liner with a blade) redrew it with a copyrighted character from marvel (now owned by Disney of all people)....and then get mad and yell at people for tracing it, claiming they are stealing their art....their. art.

Those in glass houses should not throw stones....

Specially since... Disney has sued people for less....I actually knew a family who had another family member paint Disney princesses in their daughters room and because they posted it on the net...they got sued by Disney and were ordered to paint over it...it was a really pretty room too...(course this was over 10 years ago and Disney has gotten more lax on that)

So yeah...

Also... speaking of Disney...here’s a random thought...How else do you think animators drew their animations before digital??? They traced shit...all the time...multiple times...then traced it to cel’s....seriously...

TRACING WAS A HARD WORKING RESPECTED JOB!!!

Also...if you presketch your digital art...you’re essentially tracing your art...

And again, sorry for bringing up this drama, I normally avoid posting anything drama on my page cause omfg I do not wanna deal with drama....

But this hit me the wrong way, cause I'm sorry, if someone did a fanart of my art, I’d be ecstatic, i would encourage them, tell them to keep at it, get better, and then maybe one day, come up with their own version/style like I did.

[cesiscribbles]

Heyyyyy artist question. Do you draw all your stuff with pencil and paper first and then go over it on an art program or do you draw straight on a drawing tablet? Follow up question! If you use a drawing tablet, was it hard starting out? I wanna try one out, but I heard you have to completely relearn how to draw..

I am doing everything digital from the sketch till the finished drawing (damn, didn’t draw traditional in years now that I’m thinking of it).

If you want to start drawing with a tablet I would recommend to get a smaller one first to find out if it’s the right thing for you, since it is indeed a bit confusing at the beginning that you have to look on the screen while drawing on the tablet. I don’t know how long I needed to get the hang of it but it’s definitely neat when you can use str+z to go a step back or resize things what you can’t do on paper.But there are definitely artist who prefer drawing on paper first, scan it and then keep working with this digitally.

[ss-trashboat]

5, 12, 15, 16, 18, 19, 20, 22, 27, 29, 30 ~ (for the artist asks!)

5. What’s your favorite thing to draw? people definitely, big lean towards bois right now. i just really love drawing muscles and anatomy and the like. we don't have the name of "trashboat" for nothing lol

12. Is it okay for people to ask you about your process? absolutely! i don't know how much i could explain it, but i'm always game to try! so yeah anyone please feel free to ask away if you're curious about anything ~

15. How long does an average piece take you to complete? oof this is so hard for me to answer, cause i never sit right down and do something in one go. it mostly depends on how much time i have and how focused/inspired i am to finish something. i take a long time i will say that tho lol

16. Do you draw more today than you did in the past, or do you draw less? it really depends on how far in the past we mean. like during school/college i drew a fuckton so less now compared to then. but comparing to last year i feel like i've done a lot more this year. definitely blaming on my refound love for wrasslin as i've been doing a lot of fan art lately and oc sketches

18. What are you currently trying to improve on? perspectives is the main thing currently, which is why i'm trying out different views and poses lately, but also definitely backgrounds. whether it's scenery or just something to give it a little more personality

19. What is the most difficult thing for you to draw? scenery, animals, and backgrounds are the main. for people it's legs and feet

20. What is the easiest thing for you to draw? i don't really know. i don't really find anything easy honestly. everything can have some difficulty once in a while

22. Are you confident that you’re improving steadily? if you asked me this last year i would've laughed and said no. now tho? absolutely. especially with doing fan art lately of subjects i've drawn before (not recently but i did a redraw for a con art) it's showing a ton with improvements. and just. trying out new subjects and actually having them look like them is still holy shit to me. and me a few years back wouldn't have been able to do that. it's so surreal still but very much riding the high and looking forward to what we do next

27. For digital artists: how many layers does a typical piece require? so many layers LOL. there's always three: sketch, line, and the darker color backdrop so i can do lighter colors, but all in all it's usually around 25-40 layers depending on the piece, as i do every color block and shading separately

29. For traditional artists: How do you usually start on a big piece? (Light sketch, colored lead, sketchpaper, etc) light sketch. just start with some lighter shapes to play around with features and then we head dive in. darken the sketch as i get confident it's working and go from there ~

30. What inspires you to not just make art, but to be a better artist? oof. i don't really know. like, this is something i've always wanted to do. it's something i've always done. hell i went to college for this shit lol. but i always had big dreams with art, whether it's character design or illustrating or whatever. after my mom passed art hit the backburner with my depression. did a lot of things for other people, didn't really draw a whole lot for me. now i think a big part of the stride of this year is relearning to draw for me, and refinding my love of wrestling helped that. a lot of me lately has been "fuck responsibilities, i wanna draw babes" and i've done that. and lately, they've been incredible. it's been a boost to my confidence and then i share them like a silly and some babes have actually seen them. which is fucking surreal. i follow some other fan artists and they're doing such great things that where i'm at again it feels like this is possible, like maybe some dream can come true. and of course i've fallen into the hole of the boi sammy and his encouraging words in vlogs have made me want to do all the things cause i'll make you proud my emotional support boi. so i guess, short answer cause fuck i rambled, it's just. getting closer to my dreams inspires me to be a better artist. whether it be trying out new subjects or just drawing for me and refinding my confidence. and having faves actually see my art that helps a lot lol

artist asks ~

[marcecolespeters-blog]

Published “MS Focus Magazine” and “yvynyl”

My name is Marc Eugene Coles Peters and I am a beat maker and graphic designer from Richmond, Virginia. I have been through a lot these past couple of years and I hope my experiences will inspire others to stay positive, no matter the situation.

My story begins on December 18, 2009. It was the last day of fall finals at James Madison University in Harrisonburg, VA. All of my classmates and I were in the WRTC lab working to finish a coding final that was due that day. Although we were hard at work, I had one of the best times I ever had in college in that room, surrounded by friends I made over the past 3 years. I arrived home that evening, so grateful to be on winter break, sleep in my own bed and be home with my mother. I didn’t know tomorrow, December 19, 2009, would be the day that changed my life forever.

I woke up to a massive sinus infection that no amount of medication would cure. After the cold drifted away in the beginning of January, the sickness came back a couple weeks into spring semester around February, but this time I had lost the vision in my left eye. The week after, I experienced both balance and memory loss.

JMU health center doctors were not exactly sure what was wrong with me and thought I had an ear infection or some form of vertigo. Over the counter vertigo medications such as Dramamine made the early stages of MS worse. I felt like I didn’t have my final semester of college with no recreation, parties or anything outside of my dorm. Most of my professors didn’t understand why I emailed that I was sick every other day. The only professor that really understood was my WRTC counselor and professor Lucy Bednar. She made my life so much easier trying to earn my degree.

There were so many issues I had during the last 3 months of school. After class started at 10 am, I would always come back to my dorm room, eat lunch at 12 pm and then sleep from 2 to 9 pm. My roommate Arthur and I would go to the cafeteria at 10 pm during last call for food and then do my homework till 4 am everyday. I lost a lot of personality traits. It was hard to walk, speak and just feel normal. It felt like one day I woke up and I was a completely different person. I had to remember how to walk and talk again and hold conversations with people. I knew I had my work cut out but just couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. I just made the best of everyday and did my best to relearn things while trying to earn my final course credits so I could graduate on time. I cherished my last days at JMU and made the best of what I had there.

I made it to graduation on May 8, 2010 and walked across the stage to receive my diploma. I was so happy that I graduated from a major university. When I came home to Richmond for the summer, I had weird chest pains and went to the local ER. Everything tested fine yet I still had no idea what was wrong with me. The ER referred me to the ear, nose and throat doctor and then the ENT referred me to the neurologist who referred me to get an MRI in September 2010.

hat summer, the rise of Drake had a serious impact on my life. I’ve been a follower of his since 2007 when I heard Replacement Girl featuring Trey Songz from neighboring Petersburg, Virginia. In 2009, Drake came to fame with the SO Far Gone mixtape and in 2010, with promo for his 1st album Thank Me Later, MTV did a documentary Better Than Good Enough.

Drake said he would quit music if Noah “40” Shebib died because of his MS. I used Google to understand what MS stood for and found the term Multiple Sclerosis. I realized I had every beginning symptom of MS; blurry vision in one eye, vertigo, tiredness and so on. In October 2010, when my first neurologist, Dr. White, called me in for the diagnosis, I finally found out what was wrong with me.

From 2010 to 2014 I have been on the medication Rebif, which is a self-injection I perform 3 times a week. The pain threshold gets better as the months pass. I’ve been denied partial social security 3 or 4 times in the past 3 years, so I live to create my own future through music and art. I’ve been making music since 2005 and blogging since 2008. From 2010 to 2012 I produced and designed my artwork for my instrumental mixtapes and created a website called CHAMPION SINCE. I always try to use my MS situation and turn that pain into a positive digital form. YMLXL means Young Marc Levitation And Lean because my relapses always felt as if I was on a cloud and had no control. Relapse Remitting Multiple Sclerosis for me means I can lose the use of any limb for a period of a few seconds or permanently. Being positive and creative was my way of fighting through all the negativity.

I want to be a positive influence across the world. I am from the city of Richmond, went to college, learned to live life through MS while at the same time fighting to graduate JMU, despite not even knowing what was wrong with me in the first place. I put my pain and everything I have into my music and designs and create what was once a negative a positive.

I want to inspire people to understand that they too can make it through their tough situations as long as they remain positive and stay true to what they believe in. I hope my story can help those that need help themselves. Sometimes the inspiration you need is right in front of your face. Don’t give up. Your eyes will notice the signs when the timing is right.