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probably-haven · 4 years ago

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Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should.

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can. Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it.

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows.

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over-

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings. I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is.

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other- Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action.

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways.

-Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though.

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips.

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself.

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt. - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing.

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth. - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced.

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that.

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead.

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiao #venti #xiaoven #genshin analysis #genshin headcanons #xiaoven headcanons #xiaoven analysis #this is a mess i really shouldnt be putting all these tags but oh well #oh wow the grammar and spelling here is truly repulsive #sorry to all my english teachers i have failed you all

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mallowstep · 4 years ago

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Haven't read ALITM but have seen the Silverstream thing too, and I agree with you 100 percent.

[nb. i haven't read alitm, so we are only discussing this particularly silverstream detail.]

alitm spoilers

yeah like! i feel so strongly about this oml. i don't want to go dig out the screenshot i saw lest i be exposed to more alitm content, but i feel like. like. the way she reacts is so in character for her?

"but she told him to move on"

yeah and? people say things they don't mean all the time. my ex said he wasn't gay after dating me for three years. i can fully see silverstream saying that he should move on while also assuming that he would be back with her in starclan, because that is exactly how silverstream thinks and behaves.

(i'm not sure where she tells him to move on tho? i do not recall that happening, i'm just responding to what i have seen in response to this. i'm not saying it didn't, i just literally do not remember it happening in the slightest.)

like. god.

this is what happens when a character only exists in tpb. i'm telling you. they all get forgotten and mashed down into a convenient form for easy consumption. some of the time it's flandarization (yellowfang), but wrt silverstream, i think it's just a failure of the fandom as a whole to understand her.

yes she is pretty and sweet and nice to greystripe; she's flirting with him. there's a world of a difference between that and silverstream as someone going, "can't you drown on your own territory?"

god i love her so much.

but like yeah, this is not bad characterization. if you want to talk about broader trends wrt to erins and female characters, sure. i'm not going to do that here and now and wrt alitm because again, haven't read it. but i strongly feel silverstream reacting any other way would be out of character.

like she didn't...at least of what i've seen (and again, if this is contradicted pls don't correct me, also pls don't confirm if i'm right just leave this be), she doesn't cause a fuss. she's just kind of. jealous? which like? yeah?

like yeah that's actually hella reasonable? people have feelings in fact and are allowed to continue to love someone and be jealous and she doesn't like. cause an affair.

i dunno. i just don't get it.

i don't want to go on a long rant bc i'm way too tired for this and i also don't want to get all conspiratorial but i posit this is tied to fandom's weird treatment of female characters. if they're unlikable or unsympathetic they're bad writing. that's not a universal statement, i think most takes on rainflower are fine. but.

there's a lot more to b said again tryna keep it to the point but it's not like. it is a good writing choice. yeah. that checks out.

#ask #anon #mine #alitm spoilers #silverstream #again pls do not bring any new information into this #that i have not #once it is in my inbox i have read it #there is no such thing as a spoiler warning #when you read in paragraphs #it just doesn't work #(nothing to do w u anon)#(but the book just came out so y'know)#(i'd like to pretend i'll read it before it's socially acceptable to discuss it openly)

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frogtanii · 4 years ago

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It’s wind anon! Again :D!! (I’m sending a lot of stuff to you wwww)

In any case!! I’m so glad YN doesn’t have to endure heatstroke! So so glad! The feeling of not being able to think, nausea, disorientation—I almost got heatstroke once and it was terrible trying to walk home so imagining YN dealing with it was something I worried about. But I’m glad that she’s okay. (Though, if she did have to deal with it, you can imagine the amount of backlash that “YN from Hype(r) House in Hospital after fainting from Heatstroke” would cause is something I also thought about. The consequences and speculation would be wonderful to see)

Anyway, for my other thoughts and reactions... Meiko’s stance on therapy was something...disheartening? I mean, her words may have come from ignorance at first but deliberately blaming YN and calling YN’s words as an attack of sorts is...not cool in the slightest. I’m very offended actually.

However, it really shows Meiko’s uncompromising nature. YN is more... pliant? She doesn’t really start anything, she doesn’t try and involve herself in drama, she’s very...forgiving? I mean, she doesn’t fight back, and I don’t know if it’s due to the environment she’s in (I believe you mentioned in one of the earlier scenes that YN did try to fight back at the beginning?) or if she’s really just given up. She’s been shot down a lot even when she’s just trying to be communicate with them. YN is really nice so I sorta want to see her more assertive side show up more often.

But back to Meiko. With her uncompromising sort of nature, she is forcing her desires on others while elevating her worth in their eyes. It’s pretty obvious (at least to me) that the most loyal people to her are primarily those that view themselves as ‘heroes who save the damsel’. At the same time, Meiko’s possible inferiority complex is an underlying driving force for her actions. For example, Sakusa stepped in and offered YN a ride to the event, whereas Meiko had to ask to be driven by Sakusa. Not to put those actions on the same level because the circumstances were different, but perhaps to Meiko, she never receives the same treatment of YN in this case as she always has to make the first move.

I’m not sure if I’m making sense right now;

In any case, I want to ask a light question! What sort of games does YN like to play? Are there any types she’s particularly good at?

I ask because I imagined YN beating people in online chess and getting a bit of fame from that (don’t know how my mind got there, but it’s nice to imagine YN with successes, no matter how small they are)

As always, much thanks for your updates! You always write them very well, so I hope that you feel pride in what you’re doing!!

hi love!! pls continue to send ur stuff in, i love reading it even if my responses are ass 😩

yeah so ur characterization of meiko & the ppl who are super obsessed w her is actually v accurate!! meiko loves playing the victim / damsel in distress!!

yn will eventually pop off but atm she’s still just tryna get through her days hehe

as for games she likes to play, she mostly plays nintendo (animal crossing, katamari, mario, etc) but when she’s being a bad bitch, she plays things like sekiro, cuphead, dark souls, etc that are super hard!!

#couldn’t be me lmao i am Ass at video games #but i have fun playing them!!#also love the idea of her playing chess! she’d probably be good at it lmao #j’s asks #anons babey #wind anon #℗ poker face

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thattimdrakeguy · 4 years ago

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Look, I don't want this to sound bad or be misinterpreted, that's why I'm writing it to you, who are one of the few human beings in the fandom who take more than 5 seconds to think before speaking.

Look, I think I'm just sick of the timkon, I've never been one of those who ship but I just don't care, everyone can imagine what they want, it's just that in this case, it's just on another level.

I'm not homophobic or anything annoying like that, I was among the first to jump with excitement when the first Urban Legends request came out hinting at Tim's reveal.

It's just that I'm fed up, since it became official about Tim it seems that everyone only wanted it for their ships, it doesn't help that the timkon really is one of those ships maked because two characters are close so they should automatically be a couple.

The ship stems from Geoff Johns' TT era where none of the characters were particularly well written, I've seen people who literally only like that run because of the moments they assigned to the ship.

And the worst and what has bothered / surprised me the most at the time of writing this silly complaint, I really just cannot process that there are really people outraged and spitting billis at DC for not putting a ship that is not canon in any way in Titans , that simple, as if it were something real or elemental of both characters.

At the same level of those same people who want to make Kon homosexual from one issue to another just to stick him with Tim and throw the narrative sense in the trash, I don't know what to say anymore, thanks in advance.

Honestly, I'm right there with you.

I'm not sure I can say I'm sick of it. Cause really I'm sick of most of the fandom's stuff.

Because so much of the things are popular is just bandwagoning and that's it. Like I bet you, without finding whatever it is to jump on online, they would not still like it as much and may have a total different view even.

Some of the hills people die on are freaking crazy cause I read a lot of comics and they're often so off the mark it's honestly, so so honestly head scratching.

And I'm not saying this to be like, "yeah screw you TimKon stans", cause legitimately I'm not. People enjoying whatever is good as long as it's not morally wrong. Cause that just means people are enjoying themselves. Which is good in the end.

But boy, do I not get it from a fuller perspective. They were just suddenly best friends in a series without much good characterization. During Y.J. they got on better terms...but not really best friends.

Why...would they be? lol

Neither of them are into the same things. They're quite different. Barely shown just hanging out.

Kon was closer with Bart if I had to compare.

But ships and stans generally speaking. Always have insanely loud, insanely toxic people.

They lie, gaslight, bully, exaggerate, and go into denial about stuff to create this preferred image for whatever it is. Not limited to TimKon. Cause I mean in literally every fan base. In that way.

It's why I stopped being on as much. There's too much about stuff people don't know a lot about and won't let go of. And again I get it. But when you really care about them cause it's a comfort thing or that's just how your mind works, odds are you really won't like it.

I don't find the fun in lying to myself or pretending I find the same jokes funny time and time again.

Like, no, that's exhausting lol

Idgaf about some random dude with a strawman argument online tryna make me feel like a crap person.

"Oh so you prefer when Batman hits his kids huh??"

Like, uh, nah. lol

Just exhausted of fanon. Why do people forget there's a gray area? Sheesh. I'm not into stuff that comes from a janky source at best. I want to like actual content.

Anyways I find people that want Kon to be gay, as in loud ones not all of them, literally just want it for their ship. They don't actually care about the character/characters. They got obsessed with it so much that it's probably not healthy. I've yet to see someone that actually seems to genuinely like the character get so stressed about the ship.

Most of the ones that care about Kon aren't stressed about the ship being canon. Some ship it. But barely nuts about it. Some may want it. But they aren't acting as if they are canon and it's imperative.

That's my experience at the very least.

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ultrajacket · 8 years ago

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Y'know like after that dumb Berseria disco horse, hopping back onto my 3rd playthru again (plus actual fam drama) made me think a lot about how much I sympathize with Velvet to a degree. Like yeah she did a lotta bad things, but if you put the amount of emotions she felt into a real life situation, she’s a lot more relatable than one would think.

I’m kinda hopped up on medication rn since I’m hella SICC but also I have hella FEELS.

Only my friends and long time followers know this (this actually used to be my vent blog years back LMAO)

but I grew up in an abusive household. My dad was a methhead, he’d abuse my mom, hell, he wasn’t even there when I, his first born child, was born and instead sleeping with another woman.

I was 5 years old when I first witnessed him get arrested at the dead of night. He screamed while being strapped down onto a stretcher, “Close the door, I don’t want my kids to see me like this.” The second I looked away and back up to my mom, the officer held a large kitchen knife up and asked, “He attacked you with this?”

My mom nodded and said, “He tried stabbing me with it when I reached for the phone.” The next day, we packed our bags early morning and flew to a different state to live with our relatives for awhile.

But the nightmare never ended. My mom’s a saint, possibly to a fault but I love her all the same. However, time and time again, my mom would still take him back. Her reason being that they need to “stay together for the kids” and that “she doesn’t want us to grow up without a dad.”

As much as I love her, I really wish she hadn’t. It was just so hard over the years and I even ran away from home on multiple occasions because my dad would beat me til I was bleeding. I would hide underneath the car in the garage in hopes he’d never find me until the coast was clear so that I could run to the park, clean myself up, and then go to a friend’s house.

I was like what? 12 years old when I was interviewed by the police. They asked me how I felt about my dad and they recorded it for evidence. I was scared at first but straight up started bawling on camera. I wailed, “I don’t want him here anymore.” My mother was next to me and weeped too, ushering me to a different room to calm me down.

You’d think shit would’ve gotten better but my mom never left him. He had some signs of recovery a few years back but then he did meth again and fucked shit up. He locked himself up in the master bedroom and my brother kept tryna break down the door and yelling at him, telling him he was a worthless father, like how the hell can he call himself the man of the household when all he does is make his wife and kids cry.

And then my brother looked at me, rage in his eyes, and yelled, “WHY AREN’T YOU SAYING ANYTHING?” The whole time I was frozen while my sister, mother, and brother where in tears.

At that moment I just felt so incompetent. I’m the eldest in the family but I’ve been through everything I numbed it all out. I immediately just went back into my room and sobbed because of emotion at the time.

LIKE GOSH I’M SORRY FOR GETTING REAL FUCKING REAL OVER A DAMN VIDEO GAME but I feel a real deep connection with Berseria. Not 100% DIRECTLY but within its themes of abuse.

Every moment the populace praises Artorius, it reminds me of the times my mom would tell us to just bend on our knees and accept whatever my dad said and wanted. Much like how the world accepted Artorius’ every word. It made me sick to my stomach

It honestly made me open up my eyes to how my brother was feeling the entire time too. He was always the one who’d get into physical fights with my dad and I see that kind of rage within Velvet too.

It’s also the reason why I probably feel like Magilou’s hella relatable to me as throughout the game, she’s relatively non-action, already broken, and just masquerading around a fake persona.

IT’S JUST!!! IDK I have a personal attachment with this cast and y’all can piss on me and shame me for being a stupid Berseria apologist but idk, saying certain aspects of Berseria is shit writing just because you wanted positive characterization like lmfao god actually makes me feel attacked and invalidated??

Like damn how dare you go through a fucking alcoholic phase and druggie phase like your fucking deadbeat dad? how dare you spend years upon years tryna kill yourself don’t you know any better?

Like sure you can dislike a game but when you word your wank a certain way it feels like my 26 years of abuse and trauma is a piece of horse shit someone can laugh at.

LIKE OH GOD FORREAL THO I’m sorry I’m that person that takes it personally but aeugh sorry I gotta be that person who takes it personally? I’m still living this hell.

Gurren Lagann actually saved me from committing suicide years ago but honestly, if Berseria came at me during my darkest of times, it’d be my #1 jam. But yeah man whatever lmfao sorry anyone actually read thru this bullshit OTL

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jewpacabruhs · 7 years ago

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BAGEL SHOP. INGENIOUS. lmao every bar/bat mitzvah ive ever been to has had bagels at the after party, us jews do love our bagels 😂😂 oo & that's a good concept! i didn't even know gerald had brothers wtf

ooh yeah that's a great idea! so he's like a cousin! cousins were super close back then, actually i have a lil anecdote relating to that that i'll share cuz why not?

so my grandpa's family is all russian jews that came over to new york in the 1910s, and they were involved in some of the mob stuff. someone in my family is related to a dude named harry teitelbaum, who worked under bugsy siegel, aka the fuckin man. i met that side of the family once, they're very wealthy & no one knows why or how they made their fortune. it's p fuckin cool.

so as far as i know, my great grandpa stayed outta trouble, but his cousin (who's actually a relatively famous old actor, john garfield! p cool) who he grew up with got into some stuff. according to his wikipedia, "He would later say of his time on the streets there, that he learned 'all the meanness, all the toughness it's possible for kids to acquire.' ... [in the west bronx he] joined a series of gangs. Much later, he would recall: 'Every street had its own gang. That's the way it was in poor sections... the old safety in numbers." He soon became a gang leader."

see that?? every street had it's own gang?? but the thing is, only some of them made it Big Time, u kno?? murder inc, etc.... murder inc was jewish & italian, im fairly sure. cuz it was uh. bugsy siegel & lucky luciano. im p sure. idk i forget, & im too lazy to google rn but ill fact check if its mentioned in the fic, for sure. but most of it was just local, beating up assholes, bein bodyguards, giving out loans for favors, offering protection. classic stuff.

so maybe kyles fam is friendly w the local gang (cuz it's geralds bro(s) mayhaps???), so that's not an issue. it's only an issue when, yep, cartman shows up!! & fucks everything up!!! ill definitely be characterizing him as the antagonist in this, lmao. he'll get some sort of redemption arc, maybe, but he's certainly most useful here as the instigator, lol.

oh fuck ok tweek & craig...was there coffee in the 40s???? holy shit. i think so. ahahah. yah they would keep to themselves, definitely. oof tweek is certainly not a period-typical name. oh well. ok their occupation is settled, im content w this idea.

tailor butters is the best fucking thing ive ever heard in entire life, fuckin sold

im still kinda into bebe bein a lounge singer, maybe in vegas & she goes back to ny once she gets, like, involved w whoever? im thinkin kyle, kybe might be fun in this context. huhhhh. i think the only one who would be open to wifing a hooker is kenny, & if we're sticking him with butters, it's best to keep bebe in a more "honorable" profession. (all respect to sex workers, but in this historical context, given the standards of so called businessmen, yahh)

ok the questions

-main plot will probably revolve around tensions between the italians & jews, maybeee the irish if they're tryna get in on it. maybe over land in vegas, if that's gonna be a thing? maybe they're all founding rival casinos. i know the flamingo was founded by siegel, and moe dalitz was the uhhhhh desert inn i think? both jewish...hm...ok im doin some searchin & i found: "By 1948, the Strip contained several casinos, including the El Rancho, Last Frontier, Fabulous Flamingo, and Thunderbird (later renamed Silverbird)." so when i get around to it, ill look into the origins of all those & find who they were founded by. surely the italians singlehandedly managed some of them. vegas being completely built by jewish criminals is fun but a little too stereotypical for my taste hahah, dont want antisemites to get a hold of that. cartman would have a field day w that, psh.

ok like i said, an issue is, do i rewrite history in this au? or do i insert the sp characters into history? do i wanna write fanfic about actual mobsters, so it's more historical nonfiction fiction with some "ocs", or just pretend they didn't exist? i think in the end ill have to completely change things to fit the needs of the plot. which isn't firmly established yet, so that's ok. shit, i might have to make a whole ass mythos abt this shit. fucken lore. oh boy.

-im thinking he never went to law school, or any trade school, but he excels in math, so he's an accountant/treasurer, to some extent. working his way up to full on businessman. possibly involuntarily. he doesn't mean to, he just excels without trying lol. & it's for his fam, so he doesnt quit.

-yah again, it's hard bc, yanno, gays in the 1940s, so i think i have to keep it subtle, for realism's sake. ill keep it light on the het romance, too. not my thing. it'll be a v non-shippy fic in general, uh huh.

-oh boy a black mobster in the 40s... ik they existed but that'd be.. yeesh... nahh tbh he's not dumb enough to associate with criminals, he'd have a hard enough life as it is. maybeeeee he can be the piano player at the logue bebe works at. black men were allowed to be musicians, so that'll work. i dont wanna give him something less desirable. he doesn't deserve blue collar work. i like that idea for clyde, tho! idk if he could go to the bagel shop, tho, if it's in a jewish neighbourhood. clyde's, what, probably like cartman, german or something. idk, ill squeeze him in somehow. cant see him in a gang, tho.

-those sorta things tend to sort themselves out as i write, so ill jus let that happen once i start. for now - damn, this is comin together. im sorry i talk so damn much 😂😂

I was reading your tags and please, for the love of God, write a Mafia AU. I haven't been able to find any good ones.

i wanna so bad! i find organized crime fascinating, & i’m also a big movie nerd, with crime films being my fav genre, so im super into that sorta thing. definitely would love to see it, but o boy, maybe ill jus write it myself?? gotta do everythin myself haha

i’d def go the historical route, so it’d be interesting to try to both apply characters that are firmly rooted in 90s/2000s behaviors & beliefs, and stick them in the 1900s. oh, boy, writing historical stuff is a pain. so much research. worth it tho, if it’s done well. aye, and it’ll be cool to try to keep it as nonfictional as possible. like, attempting to insert the kids (as adults, obvs) into crime history. i wonder if i could do tht? it’d be fun. it’s definitely uncharted waters. there’s a lot of potential there.

but, hmm, i think mafia aus are so rare in fandom (not just the sp fandom, but across the board) bc they contradict everything that’s popular in fanfic. mob aus would feature violence, business, finances, and corruption. whereas fics prefer cuddles, leisure time, a world where money aint an issue, and wholesomeness. and considering the majority of fic is written by horny and/or love-starved teenage girls who dont know or care about the aforementioned subjects, it makes sense. kinda a bummer, but understandable. in the defense of like everyone, lmao, those sorta fics take a lot of planning, & aint nobody got time. so i get it.

oof i think a major thing too is how gay-centric fic/fandom is, when the mobster world is undeniably a heterosexual one. thats an issue. shit, i wonder how many gay characters i could get away with while keeping it realistic. i mean, im sure there were gay mobsters, in fact i’ve read about a couple, but the lifestyles did not go hand in hand, lol.

IM STUPID NO ONE CARES ABT THIS DUMB SHIT HERES IDEAS

i’m thinking 1940s new york. im inclined towards kyman, as u probs kno, but again, the gay thing. huh. maybe i can figure it out. maybe theyre young bachelors, and theyre business partners & fuck around sometimes. we’ll see. anyway. if we’re gonna include all characters….

cartman would pull a goodfellas - he’s of, what, german descent? hell, considering his parents, he probably wouldn’t even exist in this universe. eh. well. he’d def be from yorkville, manhattan, cuz tht was a german neighbourhood. anyway he’d weasel into the italian mob, bc he’d be into the idea of 1) exorbitant amounts of money, and 2) being feared/respected. his authoritah! psh. and someone would notice how smart he is & mentor him, regardless of nationality. he’d quickly make enemies, though, because he’s rude & brash. he’d also quickly become one of the most respected young dons (would he reach that level, without a family? doubt it. he’d have to become a made man, which i believe is reserved exclusively for italians ….. ehhhh ill figure it out. maybe he’d branch out, start his own crime family. that’d be interesting. ooo.) damn, ukno, i think the 40s would make a real interesting character out of cartman. huh. yah, that’d be cool to explore, how that time period would shape him. like i said, he likely wouldt even exist. did the denver broncos exist back then? doubt it

kyle would get wrapped up in the jewish mob (which existed, and which i’d personally l o v e to be a part of lol - if i was born 100 years ago), maybe while trying to protect ike from getting involved? that’d be cool. maybe he’d demonstrate his brains & be offered a job as an accountant or an attorney, and he’d be forced to comply, either bc 1) his fam was threatened if he declined, or 2) his fam was doing bad financially & needed it. maybe both. hell, maybe he avoids the jewish mob & gets involved with the others. MAYBE IKE IS THE ONE IN THE JEWISH MOB & WANTS HIS BROTHER BACK FROM THE ITALIANS. OOOOOOOOO also they’d be from brooklyn, likely, bc that’s where jews were primarily located back then. u kno there was 400k jews in new york in 1899?? including my great great great grandparents. that’s a shit ton of jews lol. lil fun fact for ya.

wait ok so oof this is hard now, bc the mob was primarily divided into three chunks - the italians, the jews, & the irishmen. there was also the puerto ricans, but that was, like, a different division. i’m mentioning this because nationality was important to mobsters, to all organized crimes groups actually, but south park doesn’t make a habit of mentioning what countries each character’s ancestors came from, lol. so it’d be a lot of writer interpretation. and that’s cool and all, but doesn’t give me much to work with, considering most of the kids are white and likely german/england-descended.

i could make kenny & butters irish. that’d work. i think kenny’s last names irish, actually. they could be from hell’s kitchen, which had a p hefty irish-american population. maybe i could make stan irish, too. wendy might be able to pass for italian (little italy manhattan??? maybe the bronx??? im tryna think geography lol. for scale.). that’d work, if i wanted to put some stendy in there, bc i love making stan the token het guy, haha. maybe wendys dad marries her off to stan to form an alliance between the italians & irish. that’d be interesting. maybe cartman was rallying to get wendy to marry him, bc he needed to marry someone bc of, like, societal expectations, & she was the only girl who caught his interest. maybe he declares war on stan, to win back the bride he wants. maybe kyles best friends w stan, tht happened somehow, & interjects. goes to meet cartman to discuss a way out - ohhhhh theres my kyman babay!!! oooooo!!!

omg. plot forming. this is def an interesting concept. maybe i can use it as a chance to write a plot-oriented fic that doesn’t rely heavily on ships. that’d be awesome. i’ve wanted to do that for ages.

maybe we can squeeze christophe in as a french immigrant, maybe an associate of someone. same with gregory, but, like, british. that’d be fun. craig & tweek can be somewhere in there, too. associates of cartman or something. maybe they own a brothel. oooh. who else. bebe! maybe she can be a cabaret dancer who someone falls for. nothin wrong w hetero nonsense if it’s done right & if it aint nonsense. yah? maybe she can be ken’s love interest. also maybe token & nichole can be in there somewhere, from harlem?

this sounds fun as fuck, though, def. im really obsessed with new york right now, so maybe writing this could be a love letter to its history. that’d be dope. ooh, and im from las vegas actually, born & raised, so maybe i could do a chapter set there, considering the mob was very influential in the strip’s development. that’d be rad. holy heck. im excited abt this now. gotta finish oboitd asap & get into this, haha.

o shit. i jus realized, like, just how much research i’d have to do. like, not only about organized crime, abt 40s slang & dress, abt new york, abt everything. oooh boy this is a Project

ill get on that eventually haha, im into it now. it’s 4am rn tho so ima sleep, gnite anon

#mafia au #txt

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wandering-bitch · 4 years ago

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Annotations on Falling in Love with Love (Again)

FiLwL(A) is my 3zun cinderella which is actually just about the importance of qin su and also reuniting with your exes. Here’s my behind the scenes/notes/lore for chapters 9-11.

ch 9: nie mingjue being hot

i wrote this before i’d even written the Murder in ch 6;;;;; i just love nie mingjue

i so deeply believe in nie mingjue being smart and able to see through meng yao because he’s straightforward and strategic.

“hmm” i said to myself. “how do i write the bois getting together??” after much thought i decided on “by stabbing one of them a bunch”

bits of this are still funny to me. rip meng yao sometimes you gotta be up close and personal with a hot dude’s bare sweaty chest

also my version of “romantic and sensual” is just “doing math and deciding yeah, against your better judgement, you’re gonna smooch” because i love an overthinking murder twink

“on the bright side, the late-night guest was not jin guangshan’s type. unfortunately he was exactly meng yao’s type: nie mingjue” i can’t believe i let myself write this, bc it feels way too modern, but also the tone of this fic is just sarcastic enough that modern grouchy shit works

ever since i discovered that camel was a delicacy in tang china i became OBSESSED with it. i nearly included it in ‘i have always loved the door’ and it makes an appearance in ‘blood in the cut’

the guan reappears!! or at least is mentioned.in case u forgot it from chapter 1 it is Definitely Not A Glass Slipper Or Anything

“i love ruining a twink’s life” i said in the author’s notes. i was not lying. my hobbies are making nie mingjue look cool and making jin guangyao suffer.

“xichen was disappointed when he didn’t see you there” “and you of course, weren’t” “on the contrary i was happy to see you” is one of the exchanges that was like. core to this fic. similar to “i met someone” “i don’t know what you want me to say to that” “neither do i”

when outlining fics i tend to include some key dialogue/exchanges that strike me as the Mood TM and half the time these exchanges go through incredible rewrites or just get deleted, but it’s always nice to see them survive

the xiangqi was so much fun to write, not bc i have played the game a bunch (i haven’t) but bc it gave me a fun way to talk about the conversation without talking about the conversation.

“a controlled leak qould have been very useful” makes me so happy it’s such a MOOD and nie mingjue immediately going heart-eyes over it is complete wish fulfillment. when will a hot sword lesbian be enamored over my ruthless scheming???? im taking sword lesbian gf applications over in my ask box

“But it hadn’t been easy” this paragraph originally included “Nie Mingjue had broadened his moral compass, and Meng Yao had learned to trust” or something but i couldn’t really figure out how meng yao would describe his own personal growth since he left qinghe. like he DID grow he DID learn that he can trust the people he loves to trust him and that it’s worth bringing people in on your schemes and plans.... but he’s too dumb to describe this.

the xiyao troll’s comment on this was “LMFAO that oocness from both meng yao and nmj where nmj is suddenly JGY levels of cunning and JGY is dumb enough to make mistakes XD”

this has stuck with me so hard

how do you read Falling in Love with Love and only discover after 16k words that i think meng yao makes mistakes?????

how do u consume any adaptation of mdzs and think that nmj isn’t smart enough to go “huh that cunning twink who is absolutely mooning over me and xichen and also plays weiqi like my old buddy seems REAL FUCKING FAMILIAR” nmj canonically sees thru jgy machinations all the time

anyway i love nmj and the xiyao troll

did you know there’s an exchange to celebrate the troll’s works??? i discovered it after signups closed but im going to enjoy reading all of them

ch 10: and with very little trouble

this took me like a month to write oops but that’s just because a lot has to happen

the opening where meng yao is being mean to qin su was so hard to write. meng yao getting overworked?? fine. meng yao getting abused??? cool. meng yao being slightly short with his sister, who is in no way hurt by this bc she can tell it’s not about her??? HORRIBLE!!!

the detective scene happened. there’s not a lot to say about it, i don’t think, except to note that han meilin did try to stand up for qin su

ch 11: impossible things are happening every day

cinderella time mother fuckers!!! this is another one that took time!!

ch 10 took time bc i wasn’t 100% sure how it would play out

this took time bc even though i knew exactly what would happen and how, it has to be Real Good, y’know? it’s tying up the entire fic. if these 2k words don’t work, then the rest of the fic will feel less good and ppl won’t come back to it

(please everyone come back to this over and over if only to laugh at my obvious qin su agenda)

qin su and meng yao fighting over who gets to take the fall for their joint murder. i love them.

i wasn’t planning for this fic to start the sunshot campaign but here we are. in the war.

How did this version of the sunshot campaign go? Well. not good. because someone has no reason to invent necromancy. But not as poorly as you’d think. Jiang Sect isn’t destroyed, and the Cloud Recesses are functional (although not at full capacity), so they have more strength on hand. Plus, Meng Yao encouraged Koi Tower to funnel money and resources into the Qin Sect, specifically so if the war started before he expected it to (whoops!!! it did!!!!), those resources would be somewhere he could encourage to fight.

on the one hand, the sunshot campaign’s territory is divided in half by the wens. on the other hand, that means the wens are fighting on both the northern and southern border (since, again, jiang sect is still alive)

anyway i’d say it’s a more steady war, as opposed to my recollection of canon where like. everyone’s fucking miserable until our sexy goth boi comes out with his corpses and wrecks shop.

then han meilin and qin su look at their families and say “if you do not let us marry right now in a way that combines our sects equally...... we will just do it anyway.”

(meng yao in the background, holding a thin knife: fucking try me. try me. i want you to be mean to my sister just so i can stab you with my knives.)

anyway it’s time for the epilogue where meng yao is vice general and there is no more wen sect

(have i thought about the dafan wens in this ‘verse? no. i probably should not, either, as wwx would be less ride-or-die for them and that means maybe wen qing and wen ning would die in a war camp)

never mind!!! happy thoughts only!!!! like how qin su and meng yao are getting ready to kill again bc they are the bi crime sibling club!!!!

jin zixuan is invited to family brunch but he’s never invited to bi crime sibling club because qin su and meng yao refuse to let him lose his innocence.

“ge, jie, i’m married with children, i don’t have any innocence to lose--” “oh didi, precious baby, our infant brother, shining beacon of our heart...”

mo xuanyu is also forbidden from joining bi crime club. he’s too baby.

they do discover other jin bastards and invite them to lunch and sure, there might eventually be another bi criminal.

3zun visits each other in 2 month chunks, with one to two month breaks as needed. so the epilogue is the beginning of 2 months hanging out in meng yao’s house, and then later in the year they’ll hang out in the cloud recesses or whatever

qin su and meng yao both have secret lists of places to acquire babies for each other. han meilin knows about both of these lists and laughs every time she sees the same orphanages on both lists.

the final comment from the xiyao troll on this was: “Interesting choice to write a bland ooc AU, but I guess this is all you can manage with your writing skill. ;) This way you don't have to worry about JGY lying to Xichen for years, murdering NMJ, attempting to murder Xichen's family in the second siege, stealing secrets from the Lan sect, corrupting a healing song Xichen trusted him with, and fully betraying LXC's and NMJ's trust.”

like. yeah. of course i sidestepped the bad things. that’s what a fix-it au is for. it’s where i say “here’s an alternate universe, where certain bad things do not happen.” it’s where i say “if meng yao had always had qin su around to counteract the messaging his mother gave him, he might not have gone so far in his quest for power”. duh.

also like kiddo, troll, friend. the pitch for this fic is “cinderella except with murder and qin su rights”. i’ve been clear from the top that this is an Indulgent Fic with No Pretenses of Quality. im proud of some sentences and passages, but this ain’t Blood In The Cut where im tryna Say something or either of my jiang cheng-centric fics where im focusing on good characterization.

it’s a cozy murder where qin su gets to live and have a cool wife

#behind the scenes #my fic #falling in love with love

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