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hanniiesuckle17 · 4 years

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Watching the Bay

A/n: lowkey a baywatch au........really just wanted to write 3RACHA as Baywatch.......guys there is so much jisung on my m.list........oh well I'm whipped. enjoy lots of shirtless jisung. (not thoroughly edited. I will come back and edit it) ALSO THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR 2K FOLLOWERS WTFFF!!!!!

Tag List: @distrikt9 @mini-meanhoe @poeticallyspaghetti @hanstagrams @desertofdessert @yangomangos @jisungsjheekies @straycozy @hoes4hoseok @jeonqqin @geminirules @crscendoforsung @mrsunshine999 @multi-net (Tag List is Open!) (Some are specifically for this fic tho lol)

Warnings: cussing, shirtless 3RACHA, 18+ themes/suggestive, drugs, violence

Word Count: 14.1K

Summary: Based on the hit Tv show and movie Baywatch. Y/n and her friends Jeongin and Hyunjin have been coming to Cheonsa Beach every summer since they met. This summer the steamy lifeguard Y/n has had a crush on convinces them to join the watch. As the new guards of the Baywatch join the force their lives are skyrocketed into a world of chaos, crime, sex, and lots of good ol’ beach vibes.

Genre: romance, minor crack, comedy, lil bit of angst, Baywatch!au, lifeguard!au, college!au?

❖

Three years. Every summer I would come back to this same beach and spend the long hot days on the sand with my two best friends. This summer would be no different. Hyunjin, Jeongin, and I were about to be college sophomores and we were on top of the world. Well, two of us were anyway.

“Yoo-hoo. Head out of the clouds, Y/n.” Hyunjin said, waving his hand in front of my face. Shaking my head I brought myself out of the dreamy summer trance I was in. Hyunjin took the basket from hands and set down all our beach stuff.

“Sorry, just dazed off for a second.”

“Well, Ms. Space Cadet, you wanna help us set up, or are you just gonna stand there?” Hyunjin elbowed me, with a smirk. Scoffing, I picked up the beach chair and unfolded it before laying out the towels on the sand.

“Uhhh...guys! A little help here!”

Turning around we saw Jeongin struggling to carry a huge pile of stuff from my beat-up old blue jeep. Scurrying over, I lightened my other best friend’s load. “Come on, guys! We have tanning to do!” Hyunjin called already stripping himself of his shirt.

“More like burns to be received,” Jeongin said to me with a smile. Laughing the two of us joined Hyunjin after finishing out beach set up. Soft tunes played from the speaker Hyunjin brought as the three of us lounged on beach towels in the sun. Jeongin lay on his back, white sunglasses shielding him from the sun. Hyunjin and I lay on our stomachs, feeling the rays on our backs.

“Guard alert,” Hyunjin said, causing all three of our heads to pop up. “Damn...” He whispered under his breath. Like he said, coming our direction down the waterline were three of Cheonsa Beach’s finest lifeguards. And quite frankly...all three were hotter than the sun itself.

I pushed my shades down my nose and watched as the three boys- no...three men ran down the beach. Hyunjin did the same.

First on the closest side, Seo Changbin. The shortest of the group, but he was not lacking in form. The boy was built like He-Man on steroids, with a smile that could melt any strong resolved woman- or man. There were rumors he played for both teams.

Falling center was Bang Chan, the oldest of the trio. His light blonde hair bounced with each step. He was not only the kindest man you would ever meet, but he could send the most innocent girl begging for him to show him his dark side. He was the perfect piece of eye candy for any girl to dream about on the beach.

The third ran on the farthest side, water splashing under his feet sending droplets onto his tan and muscular stomach. The ocean drops slid over the scripted tattoo on his right ribcage and splashed against the black dragon like ink across his opposite thigh. Han Jisung, my personal summer daydream. He was almost perfect. His only flaw was that he tended to get cocky at the worst times. It didn’t stop him from physically driving me crazy, his shaggy brown hair blowing in the wind.

My eyes trailed over every line on his body, studying it like a work of art. The red life guard’s swim trunks hung low on his hips, making my mouth water.

The three of them seemed to move as if time stopped. “How do they do that?” I said, still ogling Jisung. “It’s like they move in slow motion,” I said licking my lips.

“Oh, you see it too?” Hyunjin said watching Changbin with the same look in his eyes as mine.

Jeongin sat up and took off his sunglasses. His eyes went from Hyunjin to where Hyunjin’s stare was locked on; Changbin’s ass. “Dude...you have a girlfriend....” Hyunjin shrugged and continued to watch his part of the trio as I did mine.

The whistle around Jisung’s neck swung in rhythm with his steps, bouncing against his chest. He turned our way and I could have sworn he smiled at me, his bright teeth reflecting the sun's rays. Before I could smile back, he disappeared from sight.

“Did Jisung just-” I said hearing a splash. Jeongin laughed, seeing Jisung fall face first into the water. The other two kept running leaving Jisung behind.

“There’s no way he can recover from that!” Jeongin said rolling around in a fit of laughter.

“Um...think again Innie,” I whispered, watching the scene before me.

Again, it seemed as if he moved in slow motion. Jisung emerged from the water shaking out his wet strands of hair. I took off my glasses fully, the tip of the frames catching between my teeth. I watched the droplets of water catch on the grooves of his stomach sliding over the tattoo on his side. His hand raked through his hair pushing it back away from his face. The water threatened to tug his trunks down even further, making a small line of slightly paler skin show on his hips. He truly was an Adonis. An Adonis that was coming...right...this...way...

Fuck.

Jeongin jabbed my stomach breaking my trance. “Your boyfriend is coming over.”

“Thank you, Innie I can see that,” I said through gritted teeth. I put on a smile seeing Jisung only a few feet away. He smirked, eyes raking over my body.

“Welcome back, L/n,” Jisung said, pushing his fingers through his wet brown hair. His eyebrow quirked up, noticing the trail of my eyes, up his torso to his face. “You back for another summer?”

“What’s it to you, Han?” I asked looking up at him. He shrugged, a droplet of water falling from his jaw onto the sand.

“Figured you might have the balls to try out for the watch this year.” I laughed, pushing myself off the towel. Han smirked, now getting a full view of me in my new swimsuit, which I had specifically bought with him in mind. Not that I would ever tell him that. “There’s uh...two spots-...sorry...three spots open this summer,” I smirked knowing exactly the two spots which tripped him up, his eyes still lingering on my chest.

“I don’t know. Hyunjin, Innie? Does that sound fun? I mean, it would take away our time from enjoying the gorgeous beach scenery.” I said motioning to the waves that were rolling in. But, that wasn’t what I was referring to.

“I’m always down for extra cash,” Hyunjin said, bringing his attention to the conversation and away from Changbin who was now just a hot muscular spec in the distance.

“I’m sure Aiya, would love a gift every now and again from her boyfriend,” Jeongin said with a smirk.

“Aiya....OH! Yeah! She would.”

Jisung was not paying attention to the exchange. Instead, he and I were having a slightly heated staring contest. “So, Jisung,” Hyunjin started, pushing himself into a seated position, long blonde hair, falling into his eyes. “When are tryouts?”

His eyes widened hearing his name and he turned to my friend. “Sorry- what?” Jeongin rolled his eyes and put his sunglasses back on before reaching into our cooler and pulling out a soda. “Uh..tryouts? Tomorrow at noon. The rest of the guys and I will be running them.”

“Well maybe you’ll see us there and maybe you won’t.”

“Here’s hoping,” Jisung said, with a smirk. He shot me a sultry wink before turning on his heel and running off down the beach. Jeongin scoffed watching me shamelessly check out the muscles in his back.

“So, you guys busy tomorrow?” I asked with a smirk.

❖

My fingers pulled on the straps of the bathing suit top I had chosen to wear. My only one piece I had brought with me. I would not have my tits bouncing all over the place running the stupid obstacle course the boys had set up. It felt weird wearing shorts on the beach for so long. Usually, by this time I would be in the water.

A whistle blew, calling my attention as well as the attention of the two nitwits beside me to the start of the course. Jisung stood, whistle in his mouth, hands on his hips. The signature red trunks hanging dangerously low in the best way. Chan and Changbin stood next time waiting to address the crowd of about twenty participants.

Changbin stood on top of one of the obstacles, red swim trunks highlighting his tan skin in the sunlight. I turned to find Hyunjin staring lustfully at Changbin’s washboard abs. My elbow jabbed into his stomach earning an annoyed look from my best friend. “What?”

“Aiya?”

“Aiya.....OH! She’s fine. Ai won’t care.”

Another shrill sound came from Jisung’s whistle and he let the metal instrument drop from his lips and let it fall against his bare chest. “Alright!” Chan said into a megaphone, addressing the crowd. “We set up a course this morning to test your abilities. Complete the course in under four minutes if you can, which is the standing record set by our current top guard, Jisung, and you move onto new recruit training.”

Changbin motioned for the speaker. My eyes fell back onto Jisung who seemed to have spotted me in the crowd. He crossed his arms, obviously flexing his muscles and shooting a wink my way. Convinced not to give him any sort of satisfaction, I turned back to Changbin. Jisung was obviously frustrated at my lack of reaction.

“We only have three spots so give it your all! You’ll go do the course in groups of three so get in groups. Try to find some people you don’t know.”

Hyunjin and Jeongin both groaned at the last part of Changbin’s statement. “But what if I don’t like people?” Hyunjin whined. Jeongin let his head hang down, chin touching his tank top clad chest.

“Hyunjin, I don’t like people either. Suck it up. Extra money. Happy girlfriend?” I said looking around the crowd of participants. Two girls wearing very small swimsuits waved me over. I let out a sigh and began walking over. “Good luck boys!” I called over my shoulder.

I scoffed watching some of the other groups go through the course. The ‘Inies’, as I called them, did fine. Hyunjin and Jeongin completed the course only thirty seconds shy of beating Jisung’s record. My group was the last to go. The three of us lined up at the start of the course and waited for Chan to give us the start.

Jisung leaned against one of the setup poles, clearly watching me with a heated stare. “GO!” Chan yelled. Setting my nerves aside I raced onto the course. First I vaulted onto the metal pole and pulled myself over. My feet flew across the sand as soon as they touched the ground. The crowd cheered and I sensed the other two girls hot on my heels. With a burst of energy I sped through the next two obstacles and then ran into the water.

All that was left to do was swim to the buoy and the crawl under the barbed wire. The sand was sticking to every inch of my wet body, the grains scratching against my skin. Ignoring how uncomfortable it felt I pushed myself out from under the barbed wire and sprinted to the bell the boys told us to ring once we finished the course.

Clang!

“That’s time!” Chan called pressing the stopwatch in his hand. I doubled over to catch my breath and Hyunjin and Jeongin came over and clapped their hands on my back. Jisung came to look over Chan’s shoulder and the two exchanged hushed words.

“Listen up folks! Someone has beaten Han’s record. With a time of three minutes and forty-two seconds, and the first member of the new Baywatch recruits: Y/n L/n!” The crowd clapped and Jisung rolled his eyes before sending me a cheeky smirk.

He grabbed the clipboard from Chan’s hands and flipped up a piece of paper. After scanning through the names he tucked the clipboard under his arm, bicep contracting, making my mouth water. “The remaining two spots will be filled by the next highest times; Hwang Hyunjin and Yang Jeongin.”

My boys high fived each other before running over and wrapping me up in a big group hug. “Congrats you guys!” Chan said coming over and joining our hug. It was a little awkward, but we got over it. “Here are your whistles and if you follow us to the Hut we can get you some uniforms!” Chan cheerfully said.

We followed his bobbing head of blonde hair to a raised lifeguard station that was four times as large as the others. “Welcome to the Hut,” Jisung said from behind me. His hand ghosted over my waist as he moved past me and to a row of lockers in the makeshift office. He opened the farthest locker, filled with lots of red garments. He tossed the Inies two pairs each of red swim trunks much like the ones he was wearing.

Jisung then handed me three pieces of red and white fabric. One was a standard one piece and the other was a red bikini I had seen some of the other female lifeguards wearing. “Either are acceptable in the workplace,” He said with a wink.

“The three lockers empty lockers on the end are yours. Go get changed and we’ll start training.” Changbin said. I caught him eyeing Hyunjin as my friend turned around to go change in the small backroom. “Jisung, you and I will take the Inies and Chan can train Y/n.”

“What if I wanna train Y/n?” I heard Jisung whine as I made my way to the backroom.

“Oh please. Like anything would get done then.”

Chuckling I pushed the door open and began changing in the dark supply closet. My elbows knocked against a broom leaning up against the wall as I tied the strap of the red bikini top. “Oh shit-” With fumbling hands, I grabbed at the broom and tried to stand it back in its place.

“Y/n, you okay?” A smooth voice asked from outside the closet door. Jisung wrapped his knuckles against the door. He probably heard me falling over the cleaning supplies.

“Yeah! I’m fine, Han.” I could hear him chuckle from the outside the closet. “You try standing still and putting on this tiny swimsuit!” My ears picked up on Jisung’s quiet laugh. I could see his bright blinding smile in my mind.

“Trust me, I know.”

“What?”

“What-” He cleared his throat and I heard his feet shuffle on the wood floor of the hut. “Uh....listen. Chan is out on the deck waiting when you finish. I’m taking Jeongin out for training.” After a few seconds of awkward silence, I watched the shadow of his feet retreat from the door.

Peeking my head out from the closet I looked to find the office empty. The huge windows let in warm light basking over the white floorboards. My bare feet padded across the floor and I stuffed my clothes in my new locker and grabbed my whistle tossing it around my neck.

Through the big window, I saw Chan leaning on the rail surveying the beach through a pair of binoculars. As I walked outside, I realized he wasn’t watching the waves but rather a certain umbrella down the beach. “Whatcha looking at?”

“AHHH!” Chan jumped almost four feet in the air, screaming his head off. He pressed a hand to his chest and closed his eyes. “Y/n, you gave me a fucking heart attack!” Chan grasped at his chest and gave me a pointed look.

“Sorry!” I patted him on the back and took the binoculars from his hands. My eyes turned to where Chan was previously looking. Under a pink beach umbrella sat a girl with wavy hair wearing a baggy shirt over a swimsuit. She was contently reading a very thick book and sipping on a purple smoothie. “Oh....Now I see what you were looking at.”

Chan blushed next to me and took his binoculars back. Crossing my arms I looked him up and down. “Who would have thought the Bang Chan, Dreamboat of the Beach, would have a crush on a beach bunny?” Chan’s ears turned a dark shade of red. “So, what’s her name?” I said nudging him, giving him a gentle smile.

“Cecilia,” He said shyly rubbing the back of his neck.

“What’s she like?”

He shrugged and looked to where she was lying under the beach umbrella. “We’ve only talked a few times, but-... she’s the sweetest. She’s very wholesome, and a little shy, but... I don’t know. She just makes me crazy in the best way possible.” Chan played with the bracelet on his wrist and timidly looked over at the girl, Cecilia. “She gets a little uncomfortable because I’m always with the guys.”

“Why don’t you go talk to her right now?”

His eyes widened and Chan practically turned into a little blonde puppy. “I get really nervous around her. Do you think she’d like me?” I turned back to the girl to find her already looking this way. When she saw me watching she quickly turned back to her book, shielding her face.

“Trust me. Go talk to her.” After a light shove down the wooden stairs, Chan started venturing towards Cecilia only to double back a second later.

“Oh! All the guards are throwing a bonfire party tonight. Even the ones from the north side of the beach. You and the boys should come!” I smiled from above on the deck.

“Then the Inies and I will be there. No doubt about it.” Chan grinned and gave me a thumbs up before jogging over to the pink umbrella. I turned back into the office and sat at the big desk. A huge binder lay on top of it. “Guess I better educate myself then,” I mumbled, taking the heavy folder and laying it in my lap.

❖

The door of my jeep slammed shut as Hyunjin jumped out of the backseat. The three of us had gone back to our beach rental to shower and change before returning to the bash. Also, Changbin asked us to stop by the store and pick up a keg. Jeongin helped me lift the metal cask down from my car and carry it down the huge bonfire that was lit down on the sand. Music could be heard even from the parking lot.

Hyunjin carried the two lightweight beach bags we brought with us while once again, Innie and I were left with the heavy stuff. “ALCOHOL!” Someone screamed pointing in our direction. Two shirtless boys came running up to us pushing passed Hyunjin.

As they got closer I saw it was Changbin and Jisung. The two skidded to a stop in front of us, their toes burying in the sand. “Wow. This really is the whole package. Hot girl. Beer. What more could a man ask for?” Jisung said throwing an arm around my shoulder.

Jeongin huffed beside me adjusting his hold on the metal container. “What am I? Chopped liver?” I laughed and nudged Jisung’s side.

“Give me hand with this?”

“Sure.” Instead of taking my side of the keg, Jisung walked over to Innie and patted him on the shoulder. “I’ve got it from here, bro.” Jeongin looked from me to the brunette beside him. Before I could say anything, he shrugged and handed the keg to Jisung. I blew a piece of hair out of my face and continued to walk down the beach with Jisung.

The two of us set the keg down near the bonfire. There was a small crowd nearby dancing to the music. By dancing...I meant severely, ferociously grinding. It was an almost laughable sight. “Y/n! You made it!” A voice called. Turning I saw Chan walking towards us, his arm wrapped around the girl from earlier today.

“I did! I see you grew a pair.” He blushed as I motioned to the pretty girl next to him. She was wearing shorts and a baggy t-shirt unlike the rest of us. It seemed everyone else was bikini clad or in swim trunks.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked, pointedly at Chan. He nervously laughed and gave me the cut it out signal.

“Nothing, baby girl. Guys this is Cecilia.” Everyone shook her hand and welcomed Chan’s apparent new girlfriend. Boy, the rest of the daydreaming beach bunnies were going to be sad to hear about this. I saw Cecilia get noticeably uncomfortable when she shook hands with Jisung and Changbin. Oddly Chan was also wearing a hoodie.

Never a day in my life had I seen the man not shirtless. “Are you okay, love?” I asked trying to reassure her. She timidly nodded, playing with the ends of her loose braid.

“Yeah...I’m just a little uncomfortable with the whole....man chests out and about. I’m barely comfortable with myself in a swimsuit.” I smiled and playfully covered up Jisung’s chest with my hands since he was standing next to me.

“Better?”

“Yes. Very.” Jisung said with a smirk.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “I wasn’t talking to you, Han.” He scoffed looking towards Cahn who had his head in his hands. Most likely in shame. Or embarrassment. Before my hands could leave even an inch from his chest, he grabbed my wrists and put my hands back. Cecilia chuckled and held Chan’s hand in hers.

“So, are you two like a thing? Chan said you’re both on the watch as well?” She asked pointing between the two of us.

“No.”

“Yes.”

I looked to Jisung with wide eyes. He let out a flustered laugh, looking between me and Cecilia. “What she means, is that we aren’t a thing...yet.” His hand wrapped around my waist pulling me into his side. This was shocking news to me. I was under the impression Jisung was a player who flirted with everyone.

When no one responded to his awkward answer, Jisung ran an apprehensive hand through his hair. “Umm...well....Y/n how about we save me from this awkward conversation and go for a swim down the beach?” Cecilia and I laughed.

“Sure, why not.”He smiled at my answer. Cecilia turned back to Chan and the two started to wander off on their own. Jisung let me shed my shorts and shoes before dragging me by the hand down the beach a little ways away from the party. Once we were waist deep into the water Jisung let go of my hand only to reach for my waist. Before I knew it I was over his shoulder, his laugh ringing out into the clear night. “Jisung, don’t you fucking dar-”

He didn’t let me finish. Without a second thought, he tossed me into the waves. Instead of popping up right away, I chose to stay under the water. Though it was dark, I could still make out the shape of Jisung’s legs. His muffled voice was calling out my name, concern lacing in his voice. Being careful to avoid touching him, I swam behind him and resurfaced. I pushed my hair out of my face and launched myself onto his back making him scream like a little girl.

“WHAT THE FUCK????!?!?!”

“Gotcha!”

He grinned, twisting his arms behind him and reaching for me. His smile was lighting up the dark. I had never seen him this happy. “Why have we never hung out like this before?” He asked looking over his shoulder at me. His skin radiated warmth in the cool ocean water. “Like, you’ve been coming here every summer. Why haven’t we spent time together?”

I shrugged, casually resting my arms around him. “I don’t know. You’re usually on duty or surrounded by hot girls. Or both.” He scoffed and turned around facing me. “I figured you didn’t even have time to look at someone like me.”

“You cannot be serious.” He laughed when I nodded. “Do you know how many times I was scolded for watching you from the tower? Or going outside my zone just to run past you and the Inies a couple times hoping you would come up and talk to me?”

A heat flooded my cheeks and I was suddenly very aware of how close Jisung was to me. I could practically see the stars reflecting in his big doe eyes. A wind blew across the water hitting my bare shoulders. The waves pushed us closer to shore, but I was captivated by the way Jisung was looking at me. His long fingers brushed away a strand of wet hair that was stuck to my cheek.

His eyes skimmed over my lips, thumb brushing over my cheek. He leaned in only the slightest bit. The air shared between us was warm and electric. I could feel Jisung’s heart hammering in his chest.

Just when I was sure he was about to kiss me, a wave crashed into the back of his head pulling us both underwater. Jisung held tightly onto my waist swimming us both back up to the surface. Our laughs lifted into the night. “Well...I wasn’t expecting that.” Jisung said wading back to shore. He helped me up and took my hand as we trudged onto the beach, sand catching between our toes in a familiar way. “We drifted pretty far from the party. We should head back.”

He kept his hand wrapped around mine as I watched him guide me back to the party, water lapping at our feet. Little pieces of sand were stuck to his tan skin. Instinctively I brushed them away from his back. He turned at the unexpected touch. “Sorry,”

“No...It’s fine.”

Jisung looked down at his feet as we continued walking. My mind started to run wild. What if that wave hadn’t knocked us over? Would he have kissed me? My body knocked into Jisung’s shoulder as he stopped suddenly. “What is it?” Jisung stared down at the sand, his brows furrowed. He bent down and brushed some sand off a bag about the size of my palm. White powder filled half of it. “Ji?”

He had a serious expression I had never seen before. Jisung scanned the horizon and the way we had just come down the beach. “Ji, talk to me. What is it?” He looked back down the bag in his hands.

“We’ve got a problem.” His fingers brushed over mine as he handed me the bag. “It’s C17H21NO4.” I looked up at him brows drawn together.

“Can’t you be a normal person and say cocaine?”

❖

A few days had passed and working on the watch was turning out to make the best summer ever. You got to hang out more with the boys. You discovered that Changbin, Jisung, and Chan were all music majors at the college about an hour away from yours. They were even in a group together called 3RACHA. Chan tended to play their music in the Hut. Hyunjin and I particularly loved a song on Chan’s laptop we found called ‘Wow’.

Jeongin, Hyunjin, and I were all jamming to the song as we waited for the boys to finally come into the hut. We had all woken up early and gotten there early to our shift. “WOW! SHE’S HOT!” We all screamed as the door to the hut opened and the three boys walked into the room. They all grimaced hearing the song.

“IRON MAN IN THE STREETS, BUT I’M BETTER THAN TONY!” We sang just as Chan lunged for the speaker turning it off. “Awwwww! We were having fun!” Changbin grimaced at us and yanked open his locker. Changbin ripped off the tank top he wore and shoved it on the top shelf. Jisung moved to his and did the same. Hyunjin elbowed me in the stomach when he saw me drooling over Jisung’s toned back, eyes wandering once again to the words inked on his side.

“You’re leaking from the mouth.” He said with a smirk.

“Am not.” Just in case, I swiped my hand across my lips. He laughed and grabbed a white cap from his bag covering his blonde hair. “So, Chan, what are we doing today?” Chan shredded his lifeguard hoodie before grabbing a clipboard on the desk.

Jisung and Changbin’s whispering was silenced by Chan throwing a shoe at them. “Ay! Bro! Don’t throw the Nikes!” Changbin said walking over rubbing his head. With an aggravated grumble, Changbin grabbed the clipboard out of Chan’s hands.

Before Changbin could even read the first station, the door to the hut opened and a familiar head of wavy blonde hair walked through the door. “CELI!” Chan screamed. He scrambled to the window and pulled the curtain over his chest. She blushed walking into the room. “Y/n...could you do me a favor...” Chan asked shyly pointing to his discarded hoodie on the floor.

Rolling my eyes with a smile, I picked up his red hoodie and handed it to him. Chan covered himself before emerging from the billowing curtain. Cecilia came to stand next to Jisung. Her eyes glanced over and her ears turned as red as a tomato. Chan immediately took notice and his hands flew to Jisung’s chest.

“Dude. What the fuck are you doing?”

“Censoring your nipples. Duh.”

“......” Jisung looked down at Chan’s hands, to me, then back up to his friend. “This has never been an issue before-”

“WELL, IT IS NOW!”

Hyunjin and I were doing our best not to laugh at Chan’s freakout. “Chan, it’s fine. I can handle it. Yeah...sure.” Cecilia gave a sweet smile and inched farther away from the still shirtless Jisung, who rolled his eyes.

Changbin cleared his throat and tapped the clipboard, annoyance in his eyes. “Can we get back to our jobs people?” After a series of grumbles, Changbin looked down and begin reading off our assignments for the day. “Jeongin, you are working the west tower solo today. Chan, you have the east tower.” He rolled his eyes as Chan whispered something to Celi with a big grin.

“Moving on,” He said pointedly. “Hyunjin you’re with me on Southeast ground patrol. Y/n, you’re with Han covering the southwest near the docks.” He tossed the clipboard on the desk and grabbed his whistle.

“YES!” Jisung cheered, punching the air in joy.

Everyone gave him weird looks. Chan shook his head. “Jisung, you’re the one who made the schedule.”

Jisung’s eyes flicked from me to Chan before he rubbed the back of his neck. His confident smile was now fueled by awkwardness and embarrassment. “Yeah...I remembered that...Come on, Y/n. Let’s go!” As we left Changbin turned the beach speakers on to the playlist for the day. A happy song blasted through the speakers all across the beach as people started to arrive. I think it was by a singer named Jessi. It made me feel confident about the day ahead of us.

Jisung and I ran down the beach to the sector we were covering for the day, waving at pedestrians who called out to us. “We haven’t really gotten a chance to talk since the bonfire,” Jisung said whistle bouncing against his chest as we ran.

The bonfire. Where he almost kissed me. Where he maybe...could have...kissed me. My chest swelled and I decided playing it cool was the best option. “Yeah, what about?” We were nearing the docks so we slowed down to a walk. Jisung seemed more focused on me than on observing and watching the safety of the beachgoers.

“Umm...Why don’t we take our break?”

“Jisung our shift started twenty minutes ago.”

“Let’s just talk under the docks okay?” He said a wild smile lighting up his face. Taking my hand he led me under the sturdy wooded structure. Once again water lapped at my toes, a cooling sensation flowing over the skin on my feet.

My back pressed against one of the wide wooden poles holding up the wharf above. Jisung stood in front of me, hands behind his back, and stare aimed firmly on the watery bay. “Is this about the bag we found on the beach that night?”

“The C17H21NO4?”

“For fuck’s sake just say cocaine, Ji.”

“How do you even know that means cocaine?”

“Ji, I took chemistry. I’m not stupid.”I said with a laugh. He smiled feeling my hand brushed over his arm. Jisung let his gaze wander over me. He smiled taking a step closer. Soon his chest was brushing up against mine.

“No more Han? I’m Ji now?” He smirked. Jisung’s brown shaggy hair fell in front of his eyes. I watched his teeth drag tantalizingly across his bottom lip. His tan skin felt warm under the palm of my hand. Just like the night of the bonfire, there was an electric air between us. It was amazing to feel him so close to me.

Far away music drifted under the dock, but all my focus stayed on the man in front of me. His left hand rested just below my hip. “There are many names I could start calling you.” He rose his brow in interest.

“Like what?”

He leaned down and placed a kiss just above my jaw. He smirked against my skin hearing me let out a small sigh. “I don’t know,” All the nerves in my body were firing off like rockets. “Idiot, knucklehead...my personal favorite is dumbass.” Jisung laughed, his teeth nibbling gently on my ear lobe.

“I can’t take this anymore,” He whispered, in a labored breath. I stared into his brown eyes. The way he was looking at me made my knees go weak.

“What?”

“I’ve got to kiss you or I’m going to go crazy.” He didn’t wait for my answer. Jisung’s lips smashed against mine. He kissed me like he had eaten in days and I was his first taste of succulent delicious food. I let my fingers tangle in his dark brown hair pulling him closer to me. I would have fallen had the pole and Jisung not been holding me up.

Kissing Jisung felt like music. Not one moment was the same but it all flowed as if it was made for one purpose. I felt his hand start to move below my waist, pulling me closer against him, as if there was any space left to begin with.

“Hey, guys.” The walkie-talkie crackled to life. Changbin’s voice had me pulling away from Jisung. He sighed ignoring the call, moving to continue our little makeout session.

“You should pick up; what if it’s important.”

Jisung shook his head kissing me again. “I trust them. Plus they’ve got the Inies.” I smiled, reaching behind Jisung. He smirked feeling my hand on the back of his swim trunks. “Oh really?” He asked, our noses brushing together. He let out a breathy laugh as I bit my lip. His smile fell when I pulled the walkie talkie from its place and pressed it against his chest.

“Pick up the call.”

He sighed, pressing his forehead against mine. “This is SW Patrol; Jisung. What the fuck do you want Changbin?” Jisung backed away only far enough that he could talk on the radio. I smiled watching him all pent up.

“We got a complaint about some serious PDA on the beach. Could you check it out?” Changbin’s voice crackled through the channel. Jisung sighed, but he had a knowing smirk on the corner of his lips.

Another channel crackled to life before he could respond. “Actually that might have been us,” Chan said over the channel. Jisung and I both laughed.

His long slender fingers pressed down opening up the channel for him to speak. “Yeah. It was Chan and Celi. Totally no one in our sector.” Changbin sighed over the radio.

“Both of you quit making out and do your jobs.”

The radio went silent and Jisung returned to his previous position. “Now where were we?” He asked, his hands wondering lower than publicly appropriate. You laughed and kissed him again. “Please just be my girlfriend already?” The boy whispered against my lips.

I opened my eyes to look at him, but something in the distance caught my attention. Out on the water, there was a billowing trail of black smoke. My eyes widened realizing what it was. “Fire.”

“I believe the correct answer is ‘yes’.”

“No, Jisung. Fire. Out on the water.” I exclaimed harshly turning his head out to the bay.

“Oh fuck!” He hastily grabbed the walkie-talkie and tuned into an open channel. “All guards! We have a 10-73! There’s a boat on fire to the southwest. Prepare to go for first response.”

The two of us sprinted out from under the docks. I looked frantically around before my eyes landed on a jetski by the pier. “Ji, let’s go!” I said making a run for it.

I reached the vehicle first and strapped on the emergency belt. “Move. I’ll drive!” Jisung said motioning for me to scoot back.

“Jisung just get on! We have no time for this.”

“But the guy always drives-”

“GET THE FUCK ON YOU LITTLE BITCH WE HAVE PEOPLE TO SAVE!”

Without another word, Jisung threw his leg over the back and we took off out on the waves. The wind blew through our hair as we raced to the sight of the fire. In the corner of my eye, I saw the rescue boat coming from the south with the rest of the boys on it. With one arm, he held onto my waist as I drove the water vehicle and with the other, he reached down and readied some rope and a buoy for survivors in the water. “So,” He said over the roar of the waves. “You didn’t answer my question!”

Unbelievable. “Ji, there’s a fire! Are you sure this is the time?”

“There couldn’t be a better one in my opinion.” I heard him laugh behind me and I couldn’t help but smile. The fire was getting closer now. There were flames burning on top of the water and I could now see that the burning vessel was a yacht.

“Yes. I will be your girlfriend! Let’s do our job now!”

The rescue boat pulled up alongside us, Chan at the helm. “We need to send a team aboard to get survivors!” He called down as I shut off the engine a couple yards away from the flames.

“Don’t worry! I’ve got it!” Before we could say anything Jisung dove into the water and under the flames.

“JISUNG!” I screamed. Without hesitation, I dove in after him.

❖

The heat of the flames brushed above my back through the ocean water. I swam to avoid pieces of falling firey debris. Just as my chest started to burn I resurfaced on the other side of the flames. Frantically I looked around for any sign of Jisung.

The first twenty minutes of us dating and he decides to literally jump into a wall of fire. “Jisung I’m going to fucking kill you when I find you!” A head popped out of the water, shaking out his dark hair. “HAN JISUNG!” I screeched watching him tread water.

He turned, a cheeky smile on his face. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?” I swam over just to whack him upside the head. He rubbed the back of his head before swimming towards the yacht. “You can hit me later. Let’s save some people.”

Together we swam to the side of the ship. The muscles in Jisung’s back flexed as he pulled himself over the side. His hand reached for mine, lifting me over the side of the white boat. Black smoke filled the air and Jisung and I looked for a way into the cabin of the burning vessel.

“Help me!” A girl screamed. I turned seeing a hand reaching out from around the corner.

“There!”

Jisung and I rushed to the woman. She was stuck under a piece of fallen equipment. “Ah! You, sexy water man! You are here to save me, yes?” Somehow despite her dire situation the young woman still managed to push her large breasts forward like a peacock showing off its plumage.

“Y/n, can you get that side and I’ll pull her out?” Nodding I positioned my hands under the heavy equipment and lifted on Jisung’s count. With a grunt I let the heavy object fall back down once the girl was clear. “Signal Chan to come around port side.”

While Jisung busied himself with grabbing an intact life vest for the woman, I ran to the helm sending Chan the signal to come around to the right. When I turned the woman was trying to throw herself all over my new boyfriend. He carried her in his arms, life jacket around her neck. They stood on the port side waiting for Chan.

“Okay, handsome! If you want me you can have me, But, quickly cause the boat is on fire.” She exclaimed, wrapping her long painted fingers around his neck.

She leaned in to kiss him, but before she got close I grabbed her from Jisung’s arms and tossed her into the water where Chan was swimming to the boat to help.

“He’s got a girlfriend too! So don’t try anything!”

Jisung laughed before tapping my shoulder. “That was hot.” Rolling my eyes, I moved back to the cabin which was still very much on fire.

“IN HERE!” Another voice called. Jisung looked for a break in the fire near the door. I watched him ram his shoulder against the wood several times before it broke. The two of us searched the rooms looking for the voice.

I burst through the bedroom door, pain shooting through my shoulder. How the hell did Jisung do it so effortlessly? Probably his Herculean broad shoulders, I thought scowling. The frown fell when my eyes fell to the center of the room. A man maybe in his late forties lay dead on the floor. A bullet hole centered perfectly in his forehead.

All the drawers and closets were spilled open and a trail over white powder stained the carpet. “Shit.” I looked around for any other survivors. “Jisung! Dead body.”

“What do you mean dead bod-” He said walking into the room with a girl, soot covering her face. “Oh...that dead body.” He started stuttering, brown hair falling in front of his round eyes. “Uh....take her. She’s the last one. I checked.” Nodding, I took the girl by the hand and pulled her through the burning boat.

“You’re leaving that lifeguard? What about Councilman Kang?” The skinny woman whined in my arms.

“Don’t worry about Jisung. He’ll take care of it.” The girl screamed as I tossed her overboard to where Chan was waiting below. Not looking back, I dove into the water and swam with Chan and the girl back to the boat.

“Where’s Han?” Chan said as we pulled ourselves aboard the lifeguard's vessel.

The speedboat started moving around the yacht. “He’s towards the front. There was a body.” Chan nodded and looked back at the burning boat. Through the thick black smoke, I saw Jisung at the bow of the yacht carrying the dead man. The flames surrounded the boat giving him no clear place to escape.

Changbin steered the boat as close as he could, but couldn’t get to him. “He can’t go under the flames. Not even Jisung could swim that far carrying that much weight.” The boy said.

“JISUNG!” Chan called, hands cupping around his mouth. The man turned at his hyung’s voice and strained to hear what he had to say. “Move to the back! We’ll come get you!”

“There’s no time!”

“JISUNG DON’T-”

Again, Jisung ignored Chan, diving under the water with the dead Councilman. “JISUNG!” I screamed. We raced into action. Jeongin and Chan jumped on the jet skis attached to our boat and I grabbed a preserver before diving in after him. I was seriously going to kill him if he didn’t die first.

The fire cast a bright orange glow under the water. Spotting Jisung, his body limp and still holding onto the dead man, I started swimming deeper. He must have hit his head on some hidden debris.

Working with fast fingers, I pried his strong grip from the Councilman and pushed the body away from us to the service. Chan would pick it up. I panicked seeing Jisung’s unconscious face. Wrapping an arm securely around his chest I began swimming upwards, the task eight times harder while carrying Jisung’s weight against gravity.

I gasped breaking through the ocean surface. My legs pumped through the water trying to keep both of us afloat as I waved down Jeongin. “Innie! Over here!” My friend steered the jet ski over to us, his black hair flying in the wind.

“He’s unconscious. Help me lift him up.”

Jeongin groaned, trying to lift Jisung onto the ski. I did my best to push him from the other side. “How can he be this heavy? His waist is fucking tiny!” I said pushing my most likely concussed boyfriend across the ski. Changbin was already steering the boat away from the burning yacht as the Coastguard approached. “Let’s go. Jisung needs attention.”

“What else is new?” Innie mumbled before driving the ski towards the boat. I held onto Jisung making sure he didn’t fall off. My hand wrapped securely on his shoulder and thigh, rubbing over the intricate design of the dragon on his skin.

Changbin stopped the boat letting us pull up alongside. Chan and Jeongin carried Jisung laying him on the floor. I crawled over him, checking his mouth to make sure his airway was clear. My hands pressed to his chest starting compressions. After a minute he coughed spewing water up at my face.

Jisung gasped, rolling over but not going far with my ontop of him. The first thing he looked at was me. “You fucking idiot!” I yelled, slapping him across the cheek.

“OW!”

“You could have died, Ji!”

“Dude, she’s right. That was really stupid.” Changbin said starting the boat again. With tired arms, Jisung pushed himself up to a sitting position and wrapped me up in a hug. I heard the girl from before huff and saw her cross her arms watching Jisung hold me so tightly.

I stuck my tongue out at her which earned me a slap on the head from Hyunjin. “Let’s just get back to shore so we can give the police our report,” Chan said handing the girls some towels.

“Anybody have some aspirin?” Jisung asked, rubbing the top of his head.

❖

“Is this what dating you is going to be like?” I asked. Jisung sat on his kitchen counter holding an ice pack to his head. He shrugged and watched me open the first aid kit. Chan sent him home since he had used all his stupid passes for the day.

I drove Jisung to the beach house he rented and was now searching through his inadequately stocked medical supplies.

“Yeah, but I was quite the hero today wasn’t I?”

“You would have been a dead hero had I not gone in after you.” The shirt Jisung lent me brushed over my thighs as I walked back over to him. Delicately, I cleaned the cut on his forehead, ignoring the whines from Jisung. “You saw the drugs in the cabin, right?” I asked hesitantly.

Jisung nodded, looking into my eyes. “Just like we found on the beach the other night.” He looked out the window staring at the sea. Working for the Baywatch must have given him a huge discount because the house was right on the waterfront. “Chan and I have been trying to get the police involved, but they won’t take us seriously.” He laughed and took the supplies from my hands. “They said we were just a bunch of goofy lifeguards probably getting high on the stash we found anyway.”

His hands wrapped mine, playing with my fingers. “Speaking of high,” I said, playing with the bottom of Jisung’s tank top. “Changbin texted me. He said the girls we rescued were high as kites. They were partying below deck so they have no clue how the Councilman ended up with a bullet in his head.”

“They probably got it from the stash on the yacht.” Jisung hopped down from the counter and stood in front of me, his chest brushing against mine. “Also, that was badass what you did to that girl.” With an embarrassed laugh, I buried my face in his chest. “If you want me you can have me, but quickly because the boat is on fire!” Jisung mocked in a high voice.

“Don’t tease her!” My hand softly smacked against his chest. “She was high and you were hot.”

“Were? Past tense?”

“Well, you do have on more clothes now.”

“So, you’re saying I have circumstantial hotness. I see. So, you are only with me because of my abs and tattoos and general lifeguard sexiness?” Jisung smiled, watching me laugh.

“Tell me I’m wrong. If we weren’t dating you would have taken that girl home with you.” Jisung sighed, pulling me closer to him. “That isn’t a no,” I said with a small laugh.

“But, I brought you home.” Jisung’s hands fell below my waist, a smirk playing at the corning of his mouth. He walked me backwards until I was pressed against the kitchen wall, a position he seemed to like me in.

The air had changed between us, now charged with sexual tension. “I would have you right here until you begged for mercy twice,” Jisung whispered, staring into my eyes. My brow quirked up, watching him hungrily gaze down at my lips.

“I’ve never begged in my life.”

“Twice.”

My stomach began to twist itself in knots, making me squeeze my legs together. Never before had I imagined Jisung would be like this. Never in my wildest dreams, which were getting wilder by the second. He exuded dominance pressing his hands firmly into my hips. “Twice?” He nodded leaning closer than I thought possible. His warm breath fanned over my lips.

Just the way he was looking at me was almost enough to push me over the edge and take him right on his kitchen counter. “Bedroom. Now.” My voice was muffled and came out more like a whine feeling his thigh push between my legs. His head dipped letting his lips drag just below my ear.

“Are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop.” All it took was for him to feel me nod before he pulled away and kissed my lips deeply. “Bedroom is that way.” Jisung jerked his head towards the hall pulling his hips against mine.

“Well, you’ll just have to catch me then,” I said cheekily slipping from his grasp and slapping his ass as I ran down the hall. He laughed, the sound of his steps thundering down the hall after me.

I screamed feeling his arms wrap around me and lift me into the air. Setting me down, Jisung enveloped me into a kiss letting his fingers tug my shirt over my head. He tossed me onto his bed, leaving me to watch as he ripped off his shirt. My eyes hungrily dragged over his torso eyeing the tattoo on his side and the way his muscles flexed and contracted as he let out shaky happy breaths.

“You keep staring at me like that and I’ll have to ruin you.” Jisung’s shoulders dropped watching my tongue whip over my bottom lip. “You naughty, naughty girl.” Grabbing my ankles, he tugged me across the bed before sliding my shorts down and flinging them across the bedroom.

Jisung hovered over me, hands traveling anywhere he could reach. I was growing impatient not being able to touch him the way I wanted. My hands pushed against his strong shoulders, flipping him back onto the bed. His arms wrapped around my waist, letting my legs fall on either side of his hips.

I sighed against his lips, feeling his hips press up against mine. Letting my lips guide my actions I moved down his neck and chest. I looked up to see Jisung’s hands covering his face, attempting to silence how I was making him feel. Seeing his reaction, I let my tongue slide over his toned stomach and graze across the inked skin on his right side. A heavenly moan left his lips. My hand fell down further and ghosted over the growling bulge beneath his shorts.

“Ah...fuck-” He moaned as my tongue licked down his torso, inching dangerously close to the low hanging waistband. His head lifted up when I pulled away. “Shit- why’d you stop?”

Smirking, I started playing with the band of his shorts. “Oh, don’t mind me. Just enjoying the view.” As my fingers hooked around the fabric he pulled me back up to his lips and helped me pull them down. “Do you have...you know?” I asked between heated kisses.

Jisung nodded, hands groping my ass and grinding up against my core. “In the drawer.” With quick impatient hands, I reached over to the nightstand yanked open the drawer. “You’re on the pill right? Just in case.”

“Yeah, of course.” Finding a strip of condoms I tore one off, and returned to Jisung’s lips. My eyes closed, letting myself fall into the blissful daze Jisung was sending me into. Letting him wreck and ravish my body was the only thing on my mind.

❖

Almost a month later I found myself in the same place. Jisung’s bed. A light sheen of sweat lay on my skin and his. His sheets did a lousy job of covering anything but my hips resting over his. My head rested on his chest, letting his fingers play with my hair.

His legs were tangled with mine around and under the covers. The art on his side drew my attention. Jisung watched my fingers trace over the words on his ribcage. I had watched him for so long and been with him more than a few times and I had yet to ask him about his tattoos.

Delicately, I traced each line of the words on his ribs; ‘I See’. “What does it mean?” Jisung looked down at me, watching my hand move over the ink.

“It’s the first song I ever seriously wrote.”

“Can I hear it?”

A cool breeze floated through the open windows in his bedroom. The stars reflected on the rolling waves. Jisung shook his head. “It’s nothing much.” He nuzzled into my hair, letting me draw over the natural and drawn lines on his body.

“I doubt that if it is physically inked on your skin.” A laugh rumbled through his chest. My touch wandered down to the dark ink on his thigh. “What about these?”

He looked down and laughed. “Oh- I just like dragons.” Among the black lines and shading of the large dragon wrapped around his thigh were other gorgeous drawings like out of an ancient Japanese text. A symbol caught my eye.

“Is that the Chinese character for soup?”

“No. It means perseverance.”

“No. It means soup.”

Jisung laid his head back on the pillow, eyes wide. “That would explain why the guy was laughing so much when he did the tattoo.” He rolled over on top of me, adjusting the sheets to shield us more from the night wind. His head nuzzled into my neck. “Where do the Inies think you are?” Jisung questioned.

I shrugged. “Hyunjin could care less. He spends most of his nights facetiming his girlfriend, Aiya.”

“Can’t relate. Mine has been in my bed every night.”

Scoffing, my fingers began threading through his dark hair. “Innie is a little suspicious. But, usually, I just buy him boba the next day and he doesn’t care.” Jisung nodded and held onto me like a teddy bear. His warm skin acted like my own personal sun.

“Noted. Jeongin can be bribed with boba.”Jisung’s head lifted hearing a yawn slip past my lips. “You tired, baby? I nodded, cuddling further into him. “Get some sleep. We both have shifts tomorrow.” Jisung leaned over pressing his lips gently against mine. I fell asleep with my arms wrapped around him and his lips sleepily trailing down my neck and shoulder.

❖

“Every night?” My dark haired friend asked in disbelief. Jeongin walked beside me as we made our way back to the Hut. The sunset cast a gold and red glow over the beach. Our shift would be over soon and I could not wait. This had been a long day and I wanted nothing more than to go home and collapse in bed. “You guys are procreating like rabbits.” I laughed at his word choice. “I’m sorry, but I do not need mini Y/ns and Jisungs running around.”

Jeongin climbed the creaky wooden steps up to the Hut. Rough outlines of his feet in sand followed his steps to the door. Through the windows, I could see Hyunjin, Changbin, and my boyfriend inside. “Where’s Chan?” I asked seeing him missing as we entered the base.

Changbin sighed, flipping through the day’s log. “He took Celi down to the dock to watch the sunset.” I caught Jisung eyeing me from across the room. He stuck out his tongue and shook his head at me, eliciting a laugh.

“So, Inies,” Changbin started. The blonde and brunette raised their heads waiting for what Changbin had to say. “Looks like it’s your turn to do the night walk.” They groaned and whined. The night walk was done by two lifeguards after the beach closed. It was typically a long cold walk with flashlights making sure no one was on the beach. It usually took an extra two hours that you did not get paid for.

“But, Aiya is waiting for me to call!”

“I just want to go home!”

Jisung shot me a look standing near his open locker. He crossed his arms, tan shoulders leaning against the cool metal. Despite my tired feet and my urge to sleep for a week I smiled, knowing what he was thinking.

“Y/n and I can do it.” The Inies quickly stopped their pleading turning to my boyfriend.

“No argument from me. They can do it.” Hyunjin said grabbing his stuff and racing out the door. Jeongin quickly followed. Changbin shrugged, tossing the clipboard on the desk.

“Y/n, you might want a jacket. It’s going to get cold.” Changbin said, patting my shoulder. He turned to the boy with tousled brown hair and threw him the ring of metal keys. “Jisung, don’t forget to lock up when you’re done.”

With a final wave, Changbin grabbed his bag and shut the door behind him, descending the stairs. “You’re buying me dinner,” I said wrapping my arms around his waist. “Pizza sounds good.”

“That’s fair. I’ll get you pizza.” Jisung cupped my cheeks before pecking my lips. He turned back to his open locker, pulling out a grey unzipped hoodie. “Here.” The fabric swallowed me as he sweetly helped me slip my arms into the jacket. Listing his head, he smiled, cheeks filling and eyes turning into crescent moons. “You look too cute.”

I smiled watching him lean down and capture my lips in a kiss. My stomach twisted in knots only he could tie. “We should get going. I want my pizza sooner than later.” He nodded and grabbed two flashlights. Slipping my phone into the jacket pocket I followed Jisung down onto the beach.

Time always seemed to pass quickly with him. It felt like this summer had only started yesterday, so by the time we reached the end of the beach hand in hand my tiredness was long forgotten.

“Yeah, so then Changbin-” Jisung interrupted his own story. His eyes strained against the dark. “Do you see that?” Further down the shore, my eyes pushed past the darkness to see the outline of a speedboat beached on the sand. Several men were loading packages onto the vessel.

“Yeah,” I latched onto Jisung’s arm looking up at him. “You want me to call it in?”

He shook his head continuing to watch from afar. “No, Changbin already left. Stay here. I’ll go check it out.” Turning on his flashlight, he kissed my cheek before walking down the beach.

A chilling breeze blew over the sand. Shoving my hands in my pockets I watched Jisung approach the four men. The beam from his light fanned over the wrapped cargo. My skin crawled. Something felt off. I couldn’t hear anything from where I stood, but I could tell the men were getting more than angry at Jisung for walking into whatever they were doing.

The muscles in Jisung’s back rippled as he pointed up the beach, most likely telling them to leave. My body froze. Under the moonlight, I thought I saw the glint of a gun being pulled from a jacket. All I could do was try not to scream hearing the sound of a round being fired and watching Jisung fall to the ground.

“Jisung!”

Ignoring the man they just shot, the men pushed the boat out into the water. The sand beneath my feet made it hard to run. I slipped and fell but scrambled to my feet racing over to Jisung. He clutched his stomach, labored breaths struggling to escape.

“Jisung!” He looked up at me as I kneeled next to him. Moving his hands I saw blood seeping out of the bullet wound. Jisung struggled to keep his eyes open. “Ji, baby, stay with me.” He cried out in pain feeling me put pressure on the wound. Hands shaking, I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

Dialing emergency services, I waited for someone to answer as Jisung still bled out beside me. “Yes? Hello! I’m at Cheonsa Beach! It’s an emergency. We need an ambulance.”

“Okay, calm down Miss.”

“Calm down? My boyfriend was just shot!”

The sound of her typing carried through the phone. “The ambulance is three minutes out.” Nodding, I looked back at Jisung. “Just keep pressure on the bullet wound and make sure your boyfriend stays awake.” In the distance, I heard the sound of sirens.

“Over here!” Several EMTs ran towards us with a gurney. “We’re over here!” More sirens approached, flashing red and blue.

“What happened?”

“We were making sure everyone had left the beach. We saw some guys loading packages into a boat and he told me to wait while he went to check it out. The next thing I know they shot him and sailed off.” They nodded and lifted Jisung onto the gurney. Running alongside them, they asked me questions about Jisung, most of which I couldn’t answer. “Sorry, I don’t know.”

“Okay. You can ride with us to the hospital. You’ll have to give a statement to the police and you’re boyfriend will most likely need surgery.”

Hoisting myself up into the ambulance I sat next to the gurney, holding onto Jisung’s hand. The EMT with us tried to keep him awake by asking him questions. “Is he going to be okay?”

“He just in shock right now. We’ll have to do more tests when we get to the hospital.” She gave me a less than an optimistic smile. “Just in case- we tell most everyone this. You should call someone to be with you.” Not letting go of Jisung’s hand I reached once more for my phone. My heart stopped seeing the dark red stains on my hand. Shakily I called the first person I thought of who I wanted with me. They picked up on the second ring.

“Y/n, what’s up. I’m not-”

“Jeongin...something happened.”

❖

The bright lights of the hospital hallways were still hurting my eyes despite the many hours I had spent here. Jisung’s blood stained hoodie still hung on my shoulders. Jeongin had grabbed some board shorts from his bag so I was a little more covered standing in a passageway teaming with medical professionals.

Apparently, he and Hyunjin had just gotten back to our rental house so they raced back over still in their beachwear. Jeongin called the other boys and Chan left Celi to meet us at the hospital. It was almost eighteen hours since Jisung had been admitted and I had been talking to the police for the last three. Changbin stepped out of the room an hour ago letting me know that he Jisung had woken up.

My mind was elsewhere, thinking about nothing but seeing my boyfriend. “Thank you so much for your statement. We will be in contact later about the investigation.” Nodding I bowed to the officer, desperately wanting to go back into the hospital room. “An officer will be back in a few days to take your boyfriend’s statement as well. I hope he makes a quick recovery.”

The officer shook my hand and then bid me farewell. The click of the door was an announcement of my entrance. All five pairs of eyes stared at me as I closed it behind me. I was first drawn to the dark round set sitting in the bed. Wasting no time I rushed to Jisung. It took all of my strength not to cry feeling him hold onto me so tightly.

“You’re okay,” I whispered into his neck.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. You’re stuck with me.” Jisung pulled me to sit on the bed so he could hug me even tighter. The second I felt him pull away I was prepared to let him go, instead, he pulled me down kissing me deeply.

“Guys- get a room.”

Jisung pulled away, eyes wide and a shy smile on his face. “Hey! This is technically my room! I’ll kiss my girlfriend if I want to.”

Jeongin rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his bare chest. “That’s my best friend your kissing. Watch your hands, assface.” Jisung removed his hands from well below my waist seeing the death inducing glare the youngest Inie was sending his way.

“How are you guys not cold?” I asked noticing all of them had come still in their beachwear. None of them seemed to find the time to put on a shirt. Changbin shrugged and flexed next to Chan. “No shirt, no shoes, no problem.” He said slapping his bicep.

“I don’t think that applies to a hospital,” I whispered, lacing my fingers with Jisung’s. He chuckled, but winced clutching his side.

Chan sighed and motioned me over. Reluctantly I left Jisung to talk to him. “The doctor said he’ll have to stay here for at least a week. Maybe a couple days more.” My fingers raked through my hair as I watched Jisung swat away Hyunjin’s hands from a box of chocolates someone had left for him. “We’re going to have to keep a close eye on him when he gets discharged.”

I nodded. “Look I’ll stay here tonight with him. When he gets discharged, I’ll stay at his place and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

“Y/n,” Chan started, gently holding onto my arm. The action felt brotherly, like he was taking care of me. “You’ve been awake for over thirty-six hours. I can stay here tonight. Celi said she would drop by later anyway.”

“Chan, I’m not leaving him.”

He opened his mouth about to say something but was interrupted by the door swinging open and a cheery brunette waltzing in. She carried a plate covered in a clear wrap. “Knock, knock! I- oh....this is uh...” Her eyes widened and her cheeks turned red seeing all but Jisung standing around shirtless. Eyes bulging, Chan lept for the curtains covering himself. Jeongin grabbed an extra blanket form Jisung’s bed and Changbin hid behind me. Hyunjin grabbed the nearest object to him which happened to be a bedpan.

“EEEEKK!” He screeched realizing what it was, the metal object crashing onto the floor.

“Celi! Uhh... I thought you were coming later?” Chan stuttered from behind the somewhat sheer curtain over him. He seemed drawn to curtains in these situations.

Doing her best to suppress the blush on her cheeks she set the plate down on a table and pulled a hoodie out of the bag she had with her, tossing it to her boyfriend. “Well, I made cookies and thought it would make Jisung feel better.” She motioned to the platter filled with homemade baked goods.

Jisung’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “I got shot. How are cookies supposed to help?”

A fire lit in Chan’s eyes and I sent an equally chilling glare his way. “Jisung!” I scolded through my teeth.

“THANK YOU FOR THE COOKIES! I LOVE THEM VERY MUCH!” He screeched in higher register than I thought possible as he slid down the headboard, hiding from the combined power of Chan and my glares.

Thanking Cecilia again on my boyfriend’s behalf I took the cookies and brought them over to his bedside table. Like second nature, Jisung pulled me next to him on the bed and watched me unwrap the plate. He opened his mouth, expecting me to feed him a still warm and gooey cookie.

Jisung whined when I bit into it instead. “Y/n, baby, I got shot. Please!” Rolling my eyes I placed a cookie in his mouth and watched his cheeks fill up with the sweet goodness Celi had made. He smiled and gave her a thumbs up. “Thank you, gorgeous.” He said kissing my cheek. I shrugged and fought the smile edging its way onto my face.

“You get shot again, and I’ll have to kill you, Han.”

Jisung smiled, eyes crinkling up before he nodded. “I promise I won’t get shot by drug traffickers.” I leaned down kissing him again. His familiar long fingers brushed over my cheek.

“Y/N L/N!”

My name was screamed from the doorway. Jumping away from Jisung I saw my parents standing there, fury the only expression on their faces. “Mom?” Jisung looked from me to my mother, eyes wide and most likely more afraid of her than he was of me earlier.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” My father yelled. Even Changbin flinched at his tone. Hyunjin and Jeongin were used to situations like these and slowly decided to hide behind the closet. The tension in the room couldn’t be cut with a knife it was so thick.

“Who the hell is he? Is he the one who almost got you shot?” My mother screeched, pointing at Jisung. I stood at a loss for words. The man in the bed looked up at me with soft doe eyes, clearly confused.

“Mom, you don’t understand. It wasn’t Jisung’s fault. He did nothing wrong-”

“You could have died because of him!”

“Mom!”

My father sighed stepping in. The rest of the room watched the exchange quietly. “Your mother is right. You are coming home with us. We let you come to the beach one last time to spend the summer with your friends. Instead, we get a call in the middle of the night saying your little boy toy has you involved in a drug investigation.” Jisung threw his legs out of the bed but I stopped him from getting up.

“Dad, Jisung is-”

“I don’t care if Jisung is Gandhi. You are coming home with us and you are never coming back to Cheonsa.” Not letting me say another word, my father grabbed my wrist and began dragging me out the door. I heard Jisung clamber out of the hospital bed and the others attempt to stop him. Looking back I saw him tearing out IVs and pushing past the boys as my parents dragged me away.

“Dad, please!”

“Sir! Mr. L/n! Please!” Jisung ran after us down the hall nurses staring as he clutched his side. “Please! Mr. L/n! I love your daughter. Please, let me explain!” I turned back with wide eyes, but all I could see was Jisung and the heartbroken look on his face as my parents pulled me into a closing elevator.

He loved me.

❖

Jisung’s POV

I sat staring at my phone. Nothing. I had heard nothing from Y/n in the past twelve days. The Inies reassured me that she was fine, but her parents had confiscated her phone and basically put her under house arrest.

This was all my fault.

It felt like a part of me was missing. My thumb hovered over my gallery wanting to look at her pictures again. Unable to resist the urge I opened the app and smiled seeing her face. In only two months my camera roll had become full of her.

Just as I was about to click on a photo my phone was snatched out of my hand. “You packed, bro?” Hyunjin asked tossing my phone onto the bed. I nodded towards the bag in the chair. I was being discharged in an hour. Yesterday I passed the physical saying I was good to go home. But, home wasn’t home without Y/n. Jeongin entered the room and gave me a pity smile. With one last check-in from the doctor, I was released.

“Is this really necessary?” I questioned the nurse as Jeongin pushed me through the lobby in a wheelchair. Hyunjin was taking photos of me a giant grin on his face.

“Yeah, is this necessary?” Jeongin groaned from behind me. The nurse nodded and opened the door for us. Jeongin noticed my, for lack of a better descriptor, depressed as fuck face. “Dude, if you miss her this much go get her.”

Jeongin stopped just outside the hospital doors, making me turn my head. “I can’t even protect myself from thugs on the beach. How am I supposed to take care of her? How am I supposed to prove myself to them? I’m a music production major. Her parents aren’t going to take me seriously.”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes coming to stand in front of me. “Okay, first of all, you were attacked with a gun. You aren’t fucking Superman. No matter how much you work out your abs will not stop a bullet.” I looked down at my hands, taking in everything the blonde said. “You’ve just got to seize the day. If you want her, go and get her.”

“Seize the day? Really?” Jeongin asked, brows raised.

“I watched Dead Poets Society last night. Sue Me. Robin Williams is a fucking genius.”

As the two of them argued about Robin Williams, I thought more about what Hyunjin said. I was never going to get her back if I didn’t try. If I didn’t believe I could convince her parents, then I wouldn’t be able to. I would do anything to be with Y/n. “You’re right,” I said standing up from the wheelchair, stopping the Inies’ argument. “I am gonna seize the day!”

It was Jeongin’s turn to roll his eyes and he pushed me back down into the chair. “Seize the day when there is less of a hole in your stomach.” With a huff, I sat back down as Innie pushed the chair forward towards the car. “Also,” The young black haired boy started. “Seize your wallet. There’s a taco truck down the street and I’m hungry.”

Reluctantly, I pulled my wallet from my bag to pay for Jeongin and his tacos. I wasn’t about to wait on Y/n though. The second I was able, I was going to get her back.

❖

Y/n’s POV

“Y/n, are you sure you don’t want to eat?” My mom called from downstairs. I laid on my bed staring up at the ceiling. Subconsciously I lifted the black shirt I was wearing up to my nose and breathed in the scent. My parents were kind enough to let me go back to the beach house the Inies and I shared and let me pack.

Wearing Jisung’s shirt gave me a little bit of comfort. That was until I thought about the fact my parents never wanted me to see him again. The shirt smelled like rain on the beach. A very certain scent. A scent that seemed to follow Jisung no matter where he went.

“No. I’m not eating,” I shouted back.

Rolling over my bed, I turned to see a stuffed octopus staring back at me. “What are you looking at?” It did nothing but keep its sewn smile on its purple face. Downstairs I heard the doorbell ring. Not taking the plush octopus’s shit, I threw it across the room in anger. Faintly I heard the sound of the door opening and a familiar voice floated through the house. Great, now I was imagining his voice.

Wait. No. That was him. That was Jisung’s voice. Falling off the bed, I scrambled to my feet swinging my bedroom door open. Hiding behind the stair banister, I watched my mother reluctantly let Jisung into the house. His dark hair was neatly styled and pushed away from his forehead. Simple silver earrings dangled and bounced against his skin. He wore a navy suit jacket and a simple white shirt, tucked into the matching dress pants. The pants were cropped making him look a little taller and revealing the tan skin of his ankles.

Jisung respectfully bowed as my father entered the room and looked around, eyes turning to the staircase. I ducked down, hitting my head on the railing in the process. “Ow-shit,” I whispered rubbing the top of my head.

Peaking around the corner I saw my parents lead Jisung into the living room. He sat down on the couch, still in my view. My parents sat across from him, their backs to me. Just seeing his face made my heartrate shift to lightspeed.

“I would like to reintroduce myself,” He started, deep voice bouncing off the walls and carrying to my hiding place. “My name is Han Jisung. I’m twenty years old. I’m a music production major at Seoul University....and your daughter is the love of my life.”

I could already see my mother shaking her head. She wouldn’t except less than a rich doctor with a terrible personality for me. Let me tell you, most of the medical students don't have time to date. I could tell Jisung was starting to get nervous by the way his leg shook and he began anxiously turning the ring on his left hand round his finger.

“Let’s just push away the fact that you nearly got my daughter shot.” Jisung winced and looked away, before meeting my father’s eyes once more. “What are your intentions with my daughter, Y/n?”

Jisung sighed, wringing his hands together. What were his intentions with me? I knew that he was serious about our relationship, but past that I was clueless. With an unwavering gaze, he looked back to my father. “I intend to marry her, sir. Not any time soon, but I do want to marry her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I love Y/n.”

It was impossible to keep the smile from spreading over my face. My parents shared a look, but from their body language, I already knew what their answer was. “Mr. Han,”

“Please, Jisung is just fine.”

“Jisung,” My mother continued in a cold tone. “We want you nowhere near our daughter. She has a bright future in front of her and you will only hinder it. You are just a constant reminder of her days prancing around on the beach. We cannot allow this relationship to continue, especially with her safety involved.”

His eyes visibly saddened and his shoulders sunk. “But-”

“If you know what’s best for you...what’s best for Y/n...you will let her go. You will walk out that door and never see her again.”

“What if I say no?”

My mother straightened her posture and smoothed out her dress. “If we find out you are seeing Y/n...we’ll withdraw her tuition payment and disown her. She’ll be kicked out onto the street. Can you live with that?”

I watched the gears turn in Jisung’s head. I wanted him to stand up and say that he didn’t care. To say that he just wanted to be with me. I would choose him in a heartbeat.

Instead, his head hung low and he ran his long fingers through his dark locks. “No, I couldn’t.”

My mother, obviously pleased, stood up a clear smile was heard in her voice. “Then your business here is done.” Jisung watched my mother move towards the entryway, clearly wearing his heart on his sleeve. He made no attempt at hiding how heartbroken he was.

“Will you at least let me say goodbye to her?” He pleaded, round doe eyes turned down and expecting a bad answer. My father sighed, before looking upstairs.

“Make it quick.”

Jisung’s head shot up, eyes filling with hope. He looked to the stairs before hesitantly walking towards them. I sprinted to my room leaving the door open just a crack. As I turned, I face-planted onto my carpet. Looking back I glared once again at the purple octopus that had caused my fall. Angrily chucking it somewhere else in the room I stood up and waited for Jisung to come in.

A hesitant knock filled my bedroom. He did not wait to enter. Jisung looked around before his eyes finally settled on me. I wasted no time in rushing to him. Wrapping my arms around his neck I crashed my lips onto his. My heart broke feeling him hold onto me so tightly. Jisung pulled away with sorrow filled eyes.

“I came to say goodbye.”

“I know. I heard everything.” Jisung rested his forehead against mine, eyes closing. “Jisung this isn’t your choice.” He shook his head still not looking at me. His lips pressed against mine softly once more.

“I’m not letting you throw away your life for me.”

“What if I want to?” Jisung looked me in the eyes. I could tell he was searching for any hesitance. “You love me.” It wasn’t a question and he knew it. Silently, he nodded still searching my face.

“Let’s run away. Screw my parents. I have enough in my savings to finish my degree.”

“Baby, I can’t do that to you. There’s no guarantee in my future. I might not be able to provide for you. I love you enough to understand that letting you go while it kills me...is what is best for you.” Our voices had moved to hushed whispers.

The back of my hand brushed over his cheek. “That’s not your decision to make.” He chuckled, still wincing a little from his healing wound. “I love you, Jisung. I’m asking you to run away with me.”

Once again I saw the gears begin to turn in his brain. He took more time thinking this through than he did downstairs. My heart hammered in my chest waiting for his answer. It stopped when his lips pressed against mine in a slow sensual kiss.

“Pack your bags,” Jisung whispered against my lips.

❖

A year had passed. My legs rested on either side of the surfboard floating on the water. The waves swayed them beneath the surface and I watched the slim form of Jisung ride a wave closer to where my board floated. I smiled watching him wipe out, disappearing beneath the blue water. Turning back, I saw the beach house on the shore, lights on, and waiting for us to return home from our sunset surf.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Jisung said popping up beside my board. His long fingers were wrapped around the tip of his own surfboard keeping it from floating away. His other arm rested on top of mine and lacing our fingers together. He smiled watching the glint on my left hand shine in the setting sun.

My eyes fell to his chest, most of it submerged. Through the water, I saw his newest tattoo and smiled. My name right over his heart. “Nice wipeout.” Jisung rolled his eyes before letting go of my hands and swimming over to his board and pushing himself up. We let the slowly decreasing waves push them next to each other, our legs brushing through the cold clear water.

“You don’t regret leaving with me do you?” Jisung asked, looking at the sunset.

I shook my head, staring at the red and orange glow of the disappearing sun. “Not one bit.” Jisung turned, grabbing my hand. With a smile, our lips connected just as the sun sunk beneath the waves. This was only the beginning of my life with Jisung.

❖

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its-btrz-blog · 7 years

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Six of Crows (by Leigh Bardugo) Book Review

Six of Crows is the first of two books in a new duology by Leigh Bardugo, published between 2015 and 2016 by Henry Holt and Company, the second book being Crooked Kingdom. It is set in the Grisha universe, the same as the Shadow and Bone trilogy by the same author.

What made me want to read it:

Both books have been well voted in the YA Fantasy Category of the Goodreads Choice Awards and have been praised to hell and back. Everyone seems to love it. In addition, after reading Shadow and Bone, and more or less enjoying it and being drawn to the universe, knowing there were two more books set there that everyone said were much better, I had to come read it.

What is it about (no spoilers):

In the city of Ketterdam, Kaz Brekker, known as Dirtyhands, is part of a street gang called the Dregs. His reputation gets him an impossibly dangerous job offer: to break into an impenetrable fortress in a hostile country and retrieve a high security hostage. To do so, he will to reunite a crew who can help him pull it off, enticed by a very high reward.

What I thought about it (no spoilers):

First of all, I have to say, I thought this was much better than Shadow and Bone. I really liked the world building on that one, but the whole chosen one saves the world plus a love triangle is a bit overdone already, in my opinion, and while it was entertaining I wouldn't say it became a favorite of mine.

Now this book, I think, managed to expand on that world building and take what it already had and create a good story upon it. I like that we have multiple nations, with individual languages and cultures (as I thought it had been a missed opportunity in the first series) and that we have characters from different backgrounds.

Now, on to the main characters. There are six of them, though only 5 get POV chapters, and I'll say right away that I thought their interactions felt real and were fun to read, and that each of them has their own motivations and their own development apart from the main plot. Which is a good thing.

OK, Kaz first. He's the main character, out of the six main cast. I'm going to say I didn't like him. I don't know exactly how to explain, but sometimes it seems a book is too much in love with their main character and so, tries to make the reader feel the same too, at the expense of it being very forced. He's 17, and he's already this super criminal, although he only started at about 15 or so (I think). That could be fine, he could be a really good manipulator and pick pocket and con artist. But it's the effort of making him the “demon” (as another main character calls him) and someone to be afraid of and make him too awesome that fails. We get enough scenes to see he's not really a (typical) hero or a good person . He's greedy, he has personal grudges, he targets innocents, people die and get hurt because of his actions. We see the plans he conceives, we see him being the gangster he's supposed to be so there really is no need to keep telling us (and exaggerating) what you are already showing, as the telling gets to be too much. Aside from that, which I think diminishes his character, there's my personal tastes, in that, I'm a bit over the bad boy with no feelings (they're just really hidden, but OK) thing. But if he were not put so much in a pedestal I think I would've liked him a bit better.

Moving on to the two girls in the crew: Inej and Nina. They are both strong characters on their own right and I have to say I liked them. Inej is known as the Wraith and is the best gatherer of intelligence of the gang, moving as a shadow and being good with knives. She's had her problems and now she's part of the Dregs and is loyal to Kaz and respected and liked by the crew. Despite her being a strong fighter, there is thankfully none of the “not like other girls” stuff nor she degrades things associated with female gender. Since this seems to be a trend with these types of characters, I was surprised with not seeing it here. Nina is a Grisha, who left Ravka after the Civil War in unpleasant circumstances. Being a Grisha, she is powerful and beautiful. She knows she's beautiful, she loves to eat, she's funny, she can flirt and she builds a friendship with Inej. Again, positive, since it's not usually how things happen in YA.

Mathias is an interesting character, morally speaking, having been a Grisha hunter, basically, and now struggling with his new position in life, that questions his core beliefs and the way he was brought up and educated. Love plays a part in it, but it's not in a love-fixes-all kind of thing and I actually like that despite everything he is, at his core, an honest person.

Wylan comes from a rich merchant's household and is, naturally, out of place among the band of misfits. He has however unexpected talents and a role as a type of hostage. Basically the naive kid among other kids who've been trained as soldiers and have had their circumstances turn them to rough street living with dangerous skills. Although we don't see that much of him, and he's not a POV character, I kind of liked him and am hoping to see more of him.

Finally there's Jesper. My favorite out of the six, and I guess, by now I know I will just like this type of character: deeply flawed with an addiction problem that he recognizes but can't easily get over, but who actually cares for the ones with whom he works (and it's clear they like him too) and sometimes feels under appreciated. He's part of the Dregs gang and good with guns. At first you don't really understand what someone with a noisy talent is doing in a stealthy operation but you soon see.

A note here: I like the grey morality of this series. Many characters are not good people, or do bad things while knowing that they're doing them. They don't always think of the “greater good” or of what is best for others or of who they're hurting and that's refreshing to see. Anything else would've been out of place. Of course, some of them are good people and do care about others, but even so, their actions are sometimes contrary to this.

As for the plot itself. I said the saving the world thing is getting old for me and I'm glad that we got to see this complex universe used for a different kind of story. Before we get to the operation itself we get a glimpse of the workings of Ketterdam's underworld and gang politics and I have to say that attracts me. As we move on and the pace picks up, you won't get many dull moments, since there's a good balance between action and in-between bits of the characters' backstories, showing us more about who they are as individuals, what are their motivations and ultimately, what is at stake for them with the mission. It's thrilling to see the mission unfold, and how they deal with the unexpected obstacles that appear in their way, and the book transmits a sense of excitement in the reader. There is, however, a problem here, concerning this. Of course, as the mission goes on, many times something goes wrong and you're supposed to feel the tension and try to figure out how they're going to get out of it and be surprised when they come up with a clever solution. Only, you see, most of those times, it turns out things didn't really go wrong, it was totally planned, Kaz saw it coming and already told someone what's the plan (you didn't know because the POV character also didn't know or just decided not to think about about it) and that kind of drains the enjoyment of things. Like, fine, he's this super criminal genius and all, but deliberately hiding things from the reader, repeatedly, just for the surprise factor… meh, I feel cheated. I'd have rather known what the plan was and see the characters getting themselves out of the problem without there having been a hidden solution everyone but me, the reader, knew.

Then there's the romance. I feel like a senile old person repeating herself over and over, but romance just for the sake of it is… bland. There are many fantasy books out there who could still keep their story and appeal without the romance but at this point it justs seems a rule that every YA book needs romance. Every character needs to be in a romantic relationship by the end of a book/series. To me, personally, most of those romances aren't appealing and feel unnecessary and I know others who think the same. Friendships, rivalries and all kinds of relationships other than romance ARE appealing and interesting to read. But expanding on that and specifically, on this book. There are six main characters. Of them, 4 are already basically paired up since the beginning. Meaning, they are in love already and aren't together merely because there are still some obstacles (that will obviously be overcome next book) to the relationship. You don't really see them developing feelings for each other (in one case, there are some flashbacks but… well there are more important things to deal with then) you are just informed they are already there, and then get to know what are the impediments to their love. This isn't enough for me to get invested in these relationships. Incidentally, the two remaining characters will, of course, by the laws of YA, end up together, but although I saw it coming from the very beginning, I'll say that it's actually the relationship I care most for (or will, I don't know if they actually end up together yet, I just started the sequel, but as I said, laws of YA). Because, those characters only just got to know each other, and I can see the transition from strangers to forced acquaintance to eventual friends and whatever comes next. The fact that it was also not a speed-of-light romance (you know, I've known you for 2 weeks but you're the love of my life) also makes me like this more. Although reviews are of course subjective, this paragraph specifically deals more with my personal tastes on the matter, I guess. It doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the book, only that this is a point that exasperated me when I read.

Conclusion:

I found it a very good book (4 stars) and to anyone who liked or found Shadow and Bone interesting, I definitely recommend it. To anyone who didn't read it/doesn't feel like doing it, although I think it's a good foundation in terms of world building (more on the Grisha front and backstory on their situation), I also recommend it, because I find it so different. It deals with a separate situation, it's less cliché overall (or less obvious about it) and the characters feel more real and likable. A narrative that escapes some of the tropes of the previous series and that manages an interesting story that makes a better use of the universe created.

In short, go read it.

[My review for this book can also be found here.]

#six of crows #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #book reviews #breviews #reviews

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soaker87 · 8 years

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A Detailed Guide to Battle Spirits Anime

With Double Drive approaching a conclusion and no indication that we’re getting a new series right away, I’ve been meaning to do this.

Battle Spirits Shounen Toppa Bashin (2008) The plot- The series follows the daily adventures of 6th year elementary school student, Toppa Bashin, who has a mysterious red stone pendant from his father. One day he meets J Sawaragi, the consecutive tournament champion, who possesses a similar white stone. J challenges Bashin to a battle in the alternate universe, Isekai World, where spirits are real. Main Writer- Dai Sato, Director- Mitsuru Hongo, Character Designer- Miho Shimogasa Why to watch- The biggest strength of this series is the characters. They’re what drive this show. Character development is highly satisfying, and the relationships explored are various (friendships, rivalries, romance, family) and quite interesting. The series also has quite a bit of comedy, and some of the episodes are laugh-out-loud hilarious. While this season does have a plot, it puts a heavy influence on the slice-of-life aspect, making it a nice, relaxing show. Getting to know the daily lives of the characters also helps make them feel like real people. The art style to this season is adorable, being the only series to date with Miho Shimogasa as the main character designer. Additionally, it breaks some tired stereotypes of kids anime that even some of the later series fail at. The female characters are competent, and can win in important matches, against characters other than fodder enemy-of-the-week and other girls. And the handling of Meganeko, the obligatory non-battler childhood friend with a crush on the MC is quite possibly the highlight of the show. Additionally, adults are treated as actual characters, including some of the parent/guardian figures. And the most developed romance is between two adult characters. Why not to watch- Depending on your investment in the card game itself, you might not like this series. Because despite being a toy commercial, this aspect is surprisingly downplayed. The battles almost always skip over turns just to get to the “good” parts. And on top of that, they’re very unrealistic by normal game standards. Battle Spirits is meant to be a quick game, and sometimes the anime battles will reach 30+ turns. Also, since this is the first anime, the card game is still rather undeveloped and simple. If you’re used to seeing Braves, Bursts, Ultimates, and other later mechanics, you may be underwhelmed. Even two of the colors don’t exist at the start of the anime. Game aspects aside, the animation and CG in this series really aren’t that great. Especially the CG, which can be outright distracting. Also, because of focusing a lot on the characters and slice-of-life, it’s not the most plot-heavy entry in the franchise, although it still fares better than some in that aspect. Battle Spirits Shounen Gekiha Dan (2009) The plot- A 12-year-old boy named Dan Bashin is taken to the alternate world of Grand Rolo by two mysterious siblings, Yuuki and Kajitsu Momose. There, he learns that he's one of the chosen core soldiers, bearing the light of the red core. Along with the other soldiers, he must save Grand Rolo from Otherworld King, who has been exploiting the world’s natives. Main Writer- Atsuhiro Tomioka, Director- Akira Nishimori, Character Designer- Yoshinori Yumoto Why to watch- Gekiha Dan has a nice, serious story to it. Although of course it’s meant to promote the game (the plot itself plays very much into the TCG’s own lore) it doesn’t sacrifice storytelling for a cheap excuse to show off new cards. Also, despite being a kids show, it’s not afraid to go into more mature and even taboo directions. We’ve got a kid who was bullied so much he has crippling social issues, a web idol being stalked, and a brother/sister romance for starters. Not to say that the series is totally dark and edgy either. It still manages to have a lot of lighthearted comedy. The characters in this series manage to be pretty fun and likeable. As of this series, Sunrise D.I.D. takes over the CG aspect, and it starts to look less distracting. Why not to watch- While trying to balance some heavier stuff as well as comedy could be seen as a strength, on the flip side, it could be seen as a heavy case of mood whiplash. And if you liked some of the silly stuff, the serious aspects could come as a turn-off, or vice-versa. There’s also the fact that Brave, which comes after chronologically and involves the same characters, is considered a lot better. So this series could be looked at as a 50-episode obstacle one has to get through just to get to Brave. Yes, one probably could watch Brave first. It just would have much more impact if you watch Gekiha Dan first. If you watched Toppa Bashin before this series, and aren’t as invested in the card game aspect, you also might be disappointed. Starting with Gekiha Dan, the battles become longer and more prominent. Battle Spirits Brave (2010) The plot- Dan wishes to have exciting battles like in Grand Rolo again. He gets his chance when Mai invites him to the future, where the humans are being conquered by demons. There, he joins the crew of The Beautiful Sophia, and creates a deck based upon the newest type of cards, Brave Main Writer- Atsuhiro Tomioka, Director- Akira Nishimori, Character Designer- Yoshinori Yumoto, Tetsuya Ishikawa Why to watch- Brave is the fan-favorite series for good reason. It pushes its boundaries even further than Gekiha Dan did. The writers probably thought ‘yeah, we have to sell cards, but how do we do it as epically as possible?’ The answer: make the stakes higher and the characters more mature. After everything Dan and the others went through in their time in Grand Rolo, their lives were naturally changed. The characters aren’t exactly the same as they were back then. And now, they have the save the world all over again. The new characters are extremely interesting, as are the dynamics. Dan and Barone have one of the best hero/rival dynamics in the franchise, especially after Gekiha Dan, where Dan and his primary “rival” Yuuki hardly interacted. Of course, with the series centering on a conflict between two different races (human and mazoku) it has to play up on how they’re different and alike. There are biases to overcome. Characters like Youth (human) and Rugain (mazoku) develop an awkward friendship with each other, for instance. It should also be noted that this is the first (and so far, only) Battle Spirits anime to have a serious romantic subplot involving the protagonist. And it’s very well-received by the fans, even when many canon romances can come off as forced. Why not to watch- If you want something lighthearted, this series is not for you. While there is a little comedy, compared to the past two series, it’s basically non-existent. It’s not to say Brave is super grimdark, but it’s still the heaviest entry in the franchise. One disappointment about this series, if you watched Gekiha, is that some of the characters from that season are shafted in favor of the new ones. Clackey, Suzuri and Kenzo suffer the most from this. They’re around, but they don’t get to do nearly as much as they did in the previous season. Even Mai, while still an important character, doesn’t get any battles until late into the show. It can be frustrating, as she was the primary action girl in Gekiha Dan. And Zungurii and Magisa don’t appear in this series at all (though Stella is basically Magisa 2.0). There is one arc in the middle of the show, the Prison General arc, which is extremely repetitive and tedious. But fortunately, It’s not that long, and even has some good moments. Battle Spirits Heroes (2011) The plot- The series centers around Hajime Hinobori, whose parents built a battle system to fulfill his dream of seeing the spirits alive and battle for him. He went on a journey with his friends and joined many tournaments. He entered the Battle Spirits World Competition to test his skills on different card battlers. Main Writer- Atsuhiro Tomioka, Director- Akira Nishimori(eps 1-15), Masaki Watanabe(eps 16-50), Character Designer- Ryou Hirata Why to watch- Heroes is a departure from the serious tone of the last two seasons. If you like silliness, this season is full of it. There’s absolutely no fourth wall, and the series makes various references to previous seasons of Battle Spirits, which are apparently fictional in the world of Heroes. The characters are absolutely quirky, and a lot of fun. Hajime, the protagonist, is romantically in love with Battle Spirits and crazy over seasoned rice. Kimari, the heroine, is a borderline villain obsessed with world domination. Kouta, Kimari’s younger brother, is a hardcore Pentan collector able to make gags and references no kid his age should get. The series has some legitimately touching moments. Especially later into the series. The final ten-or-so episodes are top-tier writing. Actually, the second half in general is a huge improvement over the first. Why not to watch- Unfortunately, plot is thrown almost completely out the window. The series is based around three rounds of a tournament, and padded with filler in between them. There are a lot of episodes which are ultimately skip-able, even some within the first two tournaments. Also, unlike in Shounen Toppa Bashin, this series isn’t big on slice-of-life and developing the characters. Although there is some development, most stay pretty static, and the emphasis is on the jokes. One’s tolerance on this series really depends on how funny they find it. Also, because this series introduced Bursts, it goes all out promoting them. Basically, it implies Bursts are the best kind of card ever, and anyone who doesn’t have a deck focused on them is probably an idiot who can never win. A couple very early episodes show some of the main Brave cards featured in the previous series being trashed, just to send this message home. If you liked the fantasy and supernatural elements in the previous series, you’ll also be disappointed with this one. There is actually one episode involving vampires, and it’s actually a plot-important one, but it seems totally out-of-place with how normal the rest of the show is. Battle Spirits Sword Eyes/Battle Spirits Sword Eyes Gekitouden (2012) *The title of this series was changed inexplicably after the 29th episode. The plot- Atlantia, the largest country of Legendia is torn apart by riots. 14 years later, a boy named Tsurugi Tatewaki, who was taken away from the chaos, meets Bringer, a card battler droid destined to protect Tsurugi. Tsurugi is trained in Battle Spirits to face the army of darkness, who is trying to gather the 12 Sword Braves to summon the Sword of Judgment. Main Writer- Atsuhiro Tomioka, Director- Masaki Watanabe, Character Designer- Tomoshige Inayoshi Why to watch- Once again, this series puts an emphasis on the plot. Similar to Gekiha Dan, the series is set in a fantasy world, allowing for all sorts of flexibility. The plot itself is one of the most complex and interesting ones in the franchise. Though this could be taken as a plus or minus, it’s surprisingly political. The show puts a lot of emphasis on the proper role of a king, and how involved they should be in the lives of the people they rule. The main character and rival being royal siblings, this makes sense. The conflict between light and dark is at the center of the series, but it’s handled in a mature way, definitely emphasizing that light and dark =/= good and evil. The characters are all shown to have reasons for what they do, and are multi-dimensional. Some are quirky, but aren’t defined by their quirks or treated as living running-gags. The plot has some pretty good twists as it goes along. It doesn’t quite reach the level of Gekiha Dan and Brave, but still worth noting. Why not to watch- Despite how good the characters in this show are, there are just too many in the main cast. There are two main battlers for each color (excluding red) plus Garudos, Grenada, Bringer and Long in the “main” cast. And that’s not even counting all the various support cast. So naturally, some characters get screwed over more than others. The characters who get their Sword Braves in the beginning don’t get a lot to do in the later episodes. The ones who get it late don’t do much early on. Or in some cases, like Haqua, just don’t appear until a bit into the series, despite being featured on the OP from the very beginning. Related to the last point, but this series is the first to be heavily affected by the release of the actual card sets. Having only two sword Braves released per set only helped to screw over some of the characters. Characters who didn’t have their Sword Brave either simply didn’t battle until they got it, or would just lose, because obviously, not having the type of signature card featured in the show makes one an inferior battler. You hear that, kids watching? Okay, so Heroes did that too with Bursts, but less frustratingly, because at least then the characters weren’t confined to using particular bursts, so many characters had key cards already by the first set. Also, while this is one of the better series in terms of having a serious, mature and consistent plot, if you’re expecting things to get as dark and screwed up as in Gekiha Dan and Brave, you’re going to be disappointed. It’s still lighter in tone than those two. Saikyo Ginga Ultimate Zero Battle Spirits (2013) The plot- Rei is an adventurer called a "Card Quester." He wishes to collect strong cards scattered throughout space, and battle with his rivals unfold. Soon enough, he will discover what happened to his own past. Main Writer- Atsuhiro Tomioka, Director- Masaki Watanabe, Character Designer- Tetsuya Ishikawa Why to watch- Of all the series, this one puts the most emphasis on style. Artistically, this is the best looking series hands down. Tetsuya Ishikawa’s work is fabulous. Rei, the protagonist, takes on multiple different forms for each color in the game, each with intricate designs and each with a shirtless magical-boy transformation scene. Each form also gives him a unique personality. Some of the other characters also get multiple forms, with transformation scenes of their own, though they retain one personality throughout. If you like fanservice, this season is full of it, both for the male and female characters. The transformation scenes aside, the second ED theme shows the characters at a beach. And the manga takes it a step further, having a full hot springs chapter. UZ is definitely fun. It’s another series that focuses a lot on the comedy aspect. Most of the characters have ridiculous quirks, including the villains. The main recurring enemies, The Galaxy Triumvirate, are basically Team Rocket. Why not to watch- Quite bluntly, it’s style over substance. The series does have a plot, but it wastes a lot of time with goofy filler that contributes nothing to it. A lot of the characters are pretty one-note as well, especially Laila and Rikuto, the two tag-along kids with Rei. They aren’t entirely useless, and both can battle, but for the most part, they’re just a cheer squad who could disappear and have no impact on anything. Proof that the “plot” is really not of much importance to the writers is that the actual main villain of the series doesn’t appear until almost the very end of the show. In a sense, it feels like a waste of a character. The biggest issue with this show, however, is how overpowered Rei himself is. By the rules of this series, Ultimates are a type of card that only battlers chosen by the Ultimates themselves can use. And they’re cards which are so powerful (even by real-life standards at the time this show came out) that normal cards simply can’t compete with them. Rei gets lots of them, and repetitively curb stomps everyone, even other Ultimate-users. He’s the first protagonist ever to defeat the rival in one try. It’s simply kind of irritating when no one else can compare. Battle Spirits Burning Soul (2015) The plot- The Battle Spirits Warring States Era is on rise. The IBSA has at least created a virtual system for spirits to battle in 3D. Thanks to this, the popularity of Battle Spirits has erupted all over the nation. All over, rivalries like that of local warlords have broken out between champion battlers. The battlers have but one objective, reach the top in Battle Spirits... Therefore unifying the nation. Main Writer- Katsumi Hasegawa, Director- Kunihisa Sugishima, Character Designer- Kenta Shinohara (adapted by Yoshinori Yumoto) Why to watch- On paper, the premise is an interesting one. Base the characters on people from the Warring States Era and have them battle to try and rule the world. The beginning episodes of the show are actually pretty good. Especially when the villains finally start making their move. Toshiie is also a fantastic character. He should have been in a better show. He has sympathetic motives, is a rival who is a genuinely good person and not a jerkass, and gets a really good subplot with an emotional conclusion. Heck, a lot of the characters come off as pretty cool. Again, on paper. One thing that was nice about this series is that it wasn’t entirely focused only on showing off the newest cards. You get to see a lot of cards from the older sets. There’s even a whole episode (though it doesn’t actually fit in the continuity) crossing this season over with Shounen Toppa Bashin. Why not to watch- As one can probably see in my struggle to find good points, this series has a lot of problems. The biggest one is the “plot”. Despite the interesting premise, despite the strong beginning, it fizzles out and badly. The series ultimately turns into one giant tournament arc. While this was done previously in Heroes, at the very least, that series made no attempts to hide its nature from the beginning. With Burning Soul, it was really disappointing, because it seemed to be more, and then every bit of plot-thread from before was utterly forgotten to focus on the tournament. And of course, being a tournament arc, every battle from then on became predictable. We knew Yukimura and Dairokuten Maou would be the final two. We knew everyone else would lose. There were a few decent battles in there, like Toshi vs. Kanetsugu. But for the most part, it was bland, and the battles took up the bulk of the episode, leaving almost no room for anything else. Secondly, if you thought Rei was an overpowered protagonist, Yukimura manages to be even worse. This is the character who can win 100 matches in a row. Even if they’re all against fodder, there’s got to be at least one loss in there by virtue of bad luck. He’s the character who, after having his key card sent to the bottom of the deck, manages to bring it back to the top and bring it out again. Almost every character is a total joke compared to him. They just can’t win no matter what. Finally, this series is absolutely terrible at handling its female characters, which is notable when the franchise is usually pretty great with it. Souun is the only main female battler, and she regularly loses to everyone except unskilled children and fodder. Her main goal (to surpass Kanetsugu) is dropped and never mentioned again. And that’s not getting into what happens to her later into the series. The other female characters are non-battlers, excluding one who isn’t introduced until much later on. (Sadly, this show still does a better job in this field than Double Drive.) Battle Spirits Double Drive (2016) The plot- Shunta Mogami loves the Battle Spirits game. One day he is transported by a light from a Battle Spirits card to Spirits World, the origin of all Battle Spirits. He meets a girl named Eto, who claims to have summoned him to Spirits World in order to prevent its destruction at the hands of the revived Evil God-King, who once plotted the destruction of Spirits World before being defeated and sealed away. Together with the confident, green-deck-wielding Yoku Albatrosa, who also came from another world, Shunta sets out to find the twelve God-Kings whose power originally sealed the Evil God-King. Main Writer- Katsumi Hasegawa, Director- Kunihisa Sugishima, Character Designer- Naoki Iwamoto (adapted by Yoshinori Yumoto) Why to watch- Is it sad to just say ‘because it’s more entertaining than Burning Soul’? Actually, this series does try to have a plot. There are some interesting ideas behind it. All Battle Spirits worlds are linked. And now, all of them are in danger of destruction because the Evil God-King might be resurrected and destroy the central Spirits World. So right from the get-go, the stakes are pretty high. The series also is the first to have two protagonists instead of one. This actually manages to ease the problem of an overpowered hero the last two series had. Because there’s not just one hero. The concept is used well. Shunta and Yoku have their glaring differences, but also things in common. It makes for a pretty good dynamic between the two of them. On top of that, both Shunta and Yoku are allowed to lose, even in important battles. That’s refreshing. There are also some legitimately interesting characters on the villains side, who are more than what they seem on the surface. Especially Kazuya, once his backstory is revealed. Why not to watch- Largely because the execution is terrible. The show basically just repeats the same formula over and over again. Characters look for 12 God-King cards. Characters battle over them. Characters lose their cards. Characters have to battle again to get their cards back. With all the potential this series has, it’s kind of a shame that’s all they really do with it. The Soul Spot idea was interesting for a bit of variety, but ultimately it’s just a plot device to allow the characters to get more cards. And they pop up way too conveniently. Most of the characterization is also pretty awful. Again, there are interesting ideas, but it all tends to fall flat. Sandrat is the most brutal case, who gets a whole episode that seems to “develop” his character, but it’s utterly reset afterwards. And as for the girls, only one (who doesn’t get introduced until later) is a battler, and not an especially competent one. The main two, the writers didn’t even bother to give much personality or even a proper role to. They basically just stand around and are the definition of pointless.

#Battle Spirits #shounen toppa bashin #Shounen Gekiha Dan #brave #heroes #sword eyes #saikyo ginga ultimate zero #burning soul #Double Drive

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softplacepod · 5 years

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Episode 1: Sugar, Butter, Flour

Show notes & transcript below the cut.

SHOW NOTES:

“A Soft Place to Land,” from Waitress, sung by Jessie Mueller, Keala Seattle, and Kimiko Glenn.

Schitt's Creek

Stardew Valley

"Dead Stars,” by Ada Limón, from The Carrying (2018)

TRANSCRIPT:

Hello, bees. It's me, Sara, sending you light and love, and also a bunch of things I've been super into lately that I think might be your jam. Welcome to A Soft Place to Land.

[music]

Item the first: "A Soft Place to Land,” from Waitress, sung by Jessie Mueller, Keala Seattle, and Kimiko Glenn.

Or, a title track to parenthood.

[clip: opening]

This whole musical has, more often than not, been on my mind since I've had a kid. It's not only about kids, of course, but so much of it reflects on the ways we grow up, and how our raising stays with us and shapes us, for good or ill, forever. And this song specifically just breaks my heart every time I hear it.

I want, more than anything in the world, for my kid to grow up happy - not all the time, not Stepford-style, but fundamentally happy. Secure in the knowledge that she is so loved, no matter what, that nothing she could ever do or say or not do or not say could change that. Fearless to be herself in the knowledge that behind her are people who stand ready and waiting to catch her, to carry her, to clap as she soars.

Growing up any other way leaves scars, and they never really heal, and I am walking around trying to bear them and maintain them and maybe forget about a few while trying very, very hard not to give any of them to my kid. She's going to have some stuff, and she's going to go through pain, and she's going to cry and be sad and get her feelings hurt, and I want very much for none of it to wound her so deeply she turns inward.

[clip: a dream needs believing / to taste like the real thing]

So, how do I do that? How do I singlehandedly prevent my trauma from messing up my kid?

First I forget the concept of doing anything singlehandedly, ever. The rest is...a process. I rein in my own ish as much as I can, I am honest when I can be about the struggles I'm having, I talk about parenting in a complicated world with one of my very good friends (we have a podcast, I'll link it below). I talk to people. I listen to my kid when she talks, and when she sings, and when she's quiet. I ask her how she feels, if she's proud of herself, if she needs a hug, if she'd rather have some quiet time. I give her space and I ask for it when I need it, and more than anything in the world I try, against my own nature, to tell her and show her how much she is loved.

I do what I can with who I am to give her a soft place to land, and I hope to the universe that it's enough, and I take a deep breath and I do it again.

[music]

Item the Second: the final season of Schitt's Creek

Or, a reminder that where things start doesn't dictate where they go.

[clip: little bit alexis]

Look, okay, if you're an Internet person you likely don't need me to yell about how much Schitt's Creek means to me. It starts, I will freely admit, as a sort of skimmed version of Arrested Development, but quickly shows you that it's actually doing something much more interesting and difficult. It is instead a show about family, yes, but a family that is forced by circumstance to reassess who they are and who they are to each other, and finds the beating heart at the center of their relationships. Stripped of all the obstacles they'd joyfully embraced to keep themselves apart, they find joy.

It's about love - romantic and platonic, mixed-up and weird and shifting - and about acceptance of yourself and of other people. It's a show that, like eternal favorite Leverage, began with characters who completely changed when compared to the people they are now, but are still those people underneath. David is still the vain, needy, insecure, damaged person he was in the premiere, but he's also beloved and loving, generous and funny, kind (especially when no one is looking) and clever. Alexis, who I love more than air, is still brittle in some ways, and too comfortable being overlooked while still angry about it, and prone to take on anything anyone will hand her out of fear no one would ask. But, too, she's found her strength, and her passion, and some of the truths at the center of herself, and she's built a life that works for her, and she's chosen that life again and again. They all have.

[clip: what's your secret stevie]

For me, there's no story I'd rather see than that one. The building a life where you are and making it work for you, the "change is inevitable and needed but I am still who I am" narrative: that's my jam, eternally. I choose this life, every day, and I will keep choosing it.

Also, and this is sincere, Schitt's Creek gave me some of the best ways to talk to my straight friends about the dreams I have re: my own queerness, avenues of conversation I'd never thought of before. Plus, the fanfic is almost uniformly sweet and great, so.

[music]

Item the third: Stardew Valley

Or, a life that means something.

[clip: stardew valley overture]

This is the best video game. It's three years old, and it's on basically every platform, and it has brought me more peace than any one media item has in years.

The basic gist is that it's a farming simulator, mostly. You inherit a derelict farm in a tiny town when your grandfather passes away, and you take it as a chance to escape your soul-crushing cubicle job for a megacorp. And you get there, and everything is difficult. You can barely swing your pickaxe to break up the rocks to make room for a first pitiful planting of parsnips, and you don't have any friends, and there's junk and weeds all over this land that, you suddenly see, you are solely responsible for. And there's a town with people in it, some of whom are nice enough and some of whom seem desperate to ignore you, and you have a little exclamation point urging you to talk to all of them at least once.

Then you look up and it's been a year or two or three. Your crops do just fine, and the chickens in the big coop cluck happily. You have friends, maybe a partner, and the rhythm of the community has embraced you. You have a place here, standing. You have a life that you've built one swing of your axe at a time.

And that's the thing about it. It's not a game you win, exactly, though of course (like the Sims) you can try to min-max your crop yields, or romance every character, or finish every offered quest line. You can try to make enough money to never have to work again. You can choose to side with the megacorp - they're here, too, because capitalism is inescapable - and kill off the remaining kindness of the town.

But it's a life that matters. Your choices may not affect Abigail's daily routine, but you can play video games and music with her, and encourage her to use the bravery and curiosity that's so obvious about her to go exploring, like she wants. You can't make Shane's alcoholism or depression disappear, but you can encourage him to get the help he needs, and cheer with him as he finds joy again. You can't make George a happy person, exactly, but you can become his friend.

[clip: distant banjo]

It's a life where you can't starve to death or fall ill or be evicted, where your friends are always excited to see you, where your work goes out into your community and you see results from it, where you can have a house and a family and a pet if you want them. A life that's small and quiet, yes - you can't become the mayor, or end the war that's referenced - but far from inconsequential. And there are changes you can make to better your community, small and large alike, and there are people you can help, and there are things you can create. It's a dream of a life that's not defined by anything but what you think of it.

It's silly, maybe, to talk about a video game like that, but there it is: a game that at its heart thinks capitalism is a bad idea, that creativity is the best thing about being a person, that relationships matter more than basically everything else, that nobody likes getting holly as a gift. A place where everyone in town comes out to the fair or the wedding or the jellyfish migration, and you have a place to stand, too. A life you build yourself, a home you make.

[music]

Item the final: "Dead Stars" by Ada Limón, from The Carrying (2018)

Or, being a nest of trying.

Ada Limón is, and has been for a few years now, my favorite poet. Oh, Richard Siken and Mary Oliver and Eve Ewing, of course, too, and a million more - I love poetry, more on that in a moment - but all of Limón's work lately has just been a knife to the neck for me, and I mean that in the best possible way.

This poem in particular has been rattling around as the winter holidays swarm, as domestic life gets yelled about from every TV, as I have yet another crisis of confidence, sure as I always am that while I know full well my worth as a person is in no way tied to how my house looks, I also am a bad person and the proof of that lies in the pile of laundry at the foot of my bed.

But, too, what I like about this poem, or maybe what I responded to so strongly, is its very suburban setting: taking out the trash, looking at the stars. And that's when it turns, and that's when it shakes me back awake.

I burst into tears the first time I read this poem, and then I made my weekly calls to my representatives, and then I wrote some more lore for the Dungeons & Dragons game I run, and then it was time to go pick up my kid from school.

Our little lives in their little boxes, our worn-in grooves on the world, they have value. Many of us have fought and scratched and sacrificed to get them, to settle into them, to stake our claim. And now we have a safe place, safer than some, and we look around and, for some of us, for me, feel guilty about it. I have all of this, and others have so little.

So maybe we wallow, and maybe we whine, or maybe we go the other direction and get haughty and hard-nosed. Or, which I think would be better, we widen our orbit. We survive more, we love harder, we speak out and up from the place where we are safe. We cast our shadow where we can, and we bring the light where we can reach. We've built something safe in our home or our heart or our neighborhood gas station, and the next thing to do is expand it. If my house is a safe place, what about my yard? What about my sidewalk, and my street? The voting location blocks away and the library on the other side of town, the school my kid attends and the ones she doesn't?

What happens if we take the stable footing we're on and start scooting towards the edges of it, bringing its stability with us? What happens if we shout across the lines we draw around ourselves, choose to choose a life eternally pushing our boundaries outward towards each other? We start from here, from the carved-out nook we rest in, and we take a step towards the edge, and we keep doing that. What happens next?

[poem:

[Out here, there’s a bowing even the trees are doing. Winter’s icy hand at the back of all of us. Black bark, slick yellow leaves, a kind of stillness that feels so mute it’s almost in another year.

I am a hearth of spiders these days: a nest of trying.

We point out the stars that make Orion as we take out the trash, the rolling containers a song of suburban thunder.

It’s almost romantic as we adjust the waxy blue recycling bin until you say, Man, we should really learn some new constellations.

And it’s true. We keep forgetting about Antlia, Centaurus, Draco, Lacerta, Hydra, Lyra, Lynx.

But mostly we’re forgetting we’re dead stars too, my mouth is full of dust and I wish to reclaim the rising—

to lean in the spotlight of streetlight with you, toward what’s larger within us, toward how we were born.

Look, we are not unspectacular things. We’ve come this far, survived this much. What

would happen if we decided to survive more? To love harder?

What if we stood up with our synapses and flesh and said, No. No, to the rising tides.

Stood for the many mute mouths of the sea, of the land?

What would happen if we used our bodies to bargain

for the safety of others, for earth, if we declared a clean night, if we stopped being terrified,

if we launched our demands into the sky, made ourselves so big people could point to us with the arrows they make in their minds,

rolling their trash bins out, after all of this is over?

[music]

Theme music for A Soft Place to Land is “Repose,” by Chase Miller, off his album Burnout. Chase’s music can be found at chasemiller.bandcamp.com. Show notes and episode transcripts are at softplacepod.tumblr.com. You can find me on Twitter @cyranoh_ and you can listen to me jabber on as the foil to my very good friend Anna on our parenting podcast, The Parent Rap, at parentrap.net.

I love you very much. Take care of yourselves. See you soon.

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ellenlucasonlinedatingblog · 6 years

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When Worlds Collide: Dating and Dealing With Parents

Sam Wall

You’re facing down a process that, according to a bazillion sitcoms and teen dramas, ought to fill you with dread: introducing the person you're dating to your parents and trying to peacefully navigate their feelings about your budding romance.

You’ve met someone who makes your heart go pitter-patter, who gives you butterflies, who makes you want to shout your feelings for them from the rooftops.

That’s great, except that now you’re facing down a process that, according to a bazillion sitcoms and teen dramas, ought to fill you with dread: introducing this person to your parents and trying to peacefully navigate your parents’ feelings about your budding romance.

Can that process be stressful and difficult? Oh, yes. Is it survivable and often informative? Also yes.

One of the biggest factors in how well that process goes is your willingness to play a proactive role in it. It’s tempting to cross your fingers and hope that everything will shake out okay, and that the number of awkward or difficult interactions will be minimal. But you’re going to have an easier time if you take active steps to figure out how your parent(s) feels about you dating someone and ways you can ease their worries and help them get to know your new love, and act accordingly. That’s where this guide comes in.

(Before we dive into the details: I’m using parent as shorthand for any adult who is a caretaker for you in your life and/or someone with legal responsibility for you. That could be a grandparent, foster parent, sibling, or someone else entirely.)

Where are they coming from?

Whether this is your first foray into the dating world or you’ve already had several partners, some of the biggest obstacles you may run up against are parental expectations.

Odds are you’ve encountered expectations before about things like how you behave at home, how you do at school, or what you’ll do with your future. When it comes to expectations about your love life, a parent could be harboring expectations as big as “I thought you’d be dating girls instead of guys,” to more minor ones like “I thought you’d bring home someone more here.” Working to understand where those expectations are coming from can reduce the number of times you want to tear your hair out while yelling, “Why would you even think that!?”

Some expectations pop up because your parent is using stereotypes, standard stories from the wider culture about people of your gender, race, or personality type, or their own experiences to formulate their understanding of how they think your love life should to play out. Sexual orientation is a prime example of this. For instance, if you’re a girl, even pretty open-minded parents may be carrying around the assumption that you’ll date men and will need to adjust that if you come out as lesbian, bi, or another kind of queer. Expectations attached to more trivial parts of your identity can come from a variety of assumptions your parent makes about your life. To use an example from my teen years, because I stereotypically nerdy my parents assumed I’d date people of an equal level of nerdiness. When I brought home someone who didn’t fit that mold, it took some time for them to recalibrate. Once I realized that was what was going on, I was less confused about their reactions and better able to address their misconceptions and help them understand why I was dating the person I was.

Understanding where a parent is coming from doesn’t mean you have to agree with their perspective (sometimes they may very much be in the wrong, after all). Adolescence is a time where your developing sense of self kicks into high gear. It’s completely normal, and developmentally sound, to find places where your values, beliefs, and goals differ from your parents’. Their expectations for you have built a sketch of your life in their head, but that’s all expectations are: a sketch. That sketch doesn’t have the final say about who you are and what you believe, and you don’t have to bend over backwards to fit into it. It’s just a rough idea someone else has, that may or may not be part of the real picture of your life that you make. Your love life is yours to control and, while many people can and do factor in their parents’ opinions when making choices about dating, you get the final say in what you prioritize, believe, and do in that part of your life.

It can help to take an inventory of those places where your worldviews don’t match up. That way, when your parent voices a concern or opinion, you can evaluate if it’s a viewpoint you share and decide if what they’ve said is relevant or useful to you. Having a sense of what’s just their views and just yours can also make it easier to stay cool and calm with any disagreements.

Some examples of places where your opinions on dating may differ include:

What the “right” age for dating is.

When (or if) to have sex with a person you’re dating.

What dating even looks likes or what “counts” as a date.

How much privacy or alone time you’re allowed to have with a someone you’re dating.

How people of a certain gender, race, embodiment, ethnicity or religion should behave when dating.

There’s some serious, big-picture stuff on that list, stuff that could lead to major disagreements and arguments between you and a parent.

Ideally, your parent knows you, knows you won’t always agree with them, and they’ve been doing some work on their end to get used to that idea and learn to make room for it as you’ve grown up.

But even then, there may be times where you have to lay out a disagreement for them and ask them to respect your point of view (I really love the example of that Heather gives in this advice column). Disagreeing with your parents are a time where having and using tools for effective conflict resolution is super-important, because it can help keep arguments from turning into knock-down, drag-out fights, and help steer things towards negotiation instead. If there are times where you don’t feel up to arguing with an opinion expressed by a parent, that’s okay too. You’re allowed to give non-committal answers like, “Hmm, I don’t know,” or end the conversation with a statement like, “I’ll think about it and get back to you.” . You can also always ask for some real time to each think things through and reconnect on another day to talk more.

It’s also important to understand there is an incredibly high chance that your parent is having some Very Big Feelings about the fact you’ve entered the dating word. To them it’s a sign that you’re growing up, that you’re expanding your horizons and your relationships beyond the bounds of your family. Time went by much faster for them than it has for you, so while this may feel right on time for you, or even like it took forever, for them, it can feel like you were in diaper yesterday, so this can seem too soon from their perspective. You dating someone also introduces potential outcomes they’re afraid of: heartbreak, pregnancy or STIs, an abusive partner. If a parent hasn’t already begun to realize they can’t protect you from everything bad in the world, you dating someone will bring on that realization on quickly. That fear they feel can manifest in a ton of different ways, including disapproval, attempts at controlling your life, making the person you’re dating into the bad guy (when they aren’t), or other kinds of conflict.

Those times are when it’s crucial to understand the difference between approval and support. Your parent is not going to approve of every choice you make in your life. And that’s okay, even if in the moment if feels like a huge blow. Part of growing up is learning to make choices based on what matters to you rather than what matters to others, and learning to be able to do things you know you want and are right for you without everyone’s approval. What’s far, far more important is that your parent supports you as you move through life. Support is deeper and less conditional than approval: it means that even if they don’t understand or agree with a choice you make, they’re not going to stop loving you or trying to help you as you move towards adulthood. So, even if they don’t approve of who you’re dating or how you’re dating them, odds are they’ll still love and support you.

Your parent may think you shouldn't be dating at all. This obviously poses big issues if you do want to date someone. In this spot, you may be tempted to get sneaky and date without telling your parent. We generally don't advise doing that, for a few reasons. First off, having to hide out often takes a toll on dating relationships and makes them far less enjoyable and far more stressful than they would otherwise be. It can also be harder to spot red flags in relationships or the people in them if we're dating in opposition to parents, and if something goes wrong with the person you're dating and you need help, sneaking around introduces a barrier to help or support from your parent. The odds are also high your parent will find out eventually, and whatever fallout there is from that will often be worse than if you'd just asked them about changing their stance first, because then they'll be reacting to your dishonesty on top of everything else.

Instead, I think it's better to try talking to your parent about why they're setting limits on if you can date and see if you can understand their point of view while helping them understand yours, with the aim of finding somewhere to meet in the middle you both can live with. A lot of the communication tips in this article can help you out with that conversation. The more you can get them to talk about specific concerns (heartbreak, cultural expectations, unplanned pregnancy, et cetera), the better chance you have of finding ways to address those concerns realistically. If they keep saying, "It's inappropriate at your age," you can ask why they think that, and what they think "appropriate" romantic relationships at your age could look like to try and find room for compromise. Hopefully, the two of you can come to an understanding that allows you to be honest while still getting to pursue the relationships you want.

To TMI or Not TMI

How much should you share about your dating relationship with your parent? That depends on how much you talk to them about other things, and how comfortable you are chatting with them about personal topics. You might be able to chat about your relationship in an open, casual way with them. What’s going on with you and your partner can potentially be talked about in the same way you talk about what’s going on at school, or with your friends; you can mention things you’re worried about, things you’re excited about, or ask for advice if you’re feeling stuck on how to deal with a particular situation. It can be good to have the sounding board of someone who knows you better than most, and who — if you have this kind of parent — cares for your deeply and truly wants what’s best for you.

On the other hand you don’t need to, and often shouldn’t, share every single detail of your romantic relationship with your parents. It might feel weird to suddenly have parts of your life that you don’t share with a parent, especially if you have a close relationship with them, but just like you might have started not talking to them about every single thing happening with your body as a way to develop some healthy boundaries and separation, the same can be true with dating.

We don’t usually share every facet of our lives with every person in them. We don’t tell our parents the same things we tell our friends, and our close friends get different information from us than we give to casual acquaintances. We choose what details of our lives we share with someone based on things like trust, closeness, and even appropriateness of sharing that detail with that person. For example, your parents probably aren’t sharing the details of their sex or love life with you, because they understand that’s an important boundary for both of you to keep your relationship together healthy. So, you get to develop similar boundaries about what parts of your love life you share with them.

If you are going to talk in detail with your parents about the person you’re dating, you want it to be a conversation that happens in good faith, where everyone involved is coming at the conversation with honesty and openness, and genuinely wants to hear what the other person is saying. If your parent keeps asking you about your love life, but it is less interested in hearing what you have to say and more in sharing all the ways your partner is lacking/ways you could be acting differently/ what they think you should be doing, that’s a sign that you may want to dial back how much, if any, information you share with them about that topic because they are showing you they don’t actually want to know about that part of your life; they just want to pass judgment on it. If something like that is going on, you can even be honest and let them know that you’re going to be sharing less with them until they change their behavior and become more supportive, if you want.

It can help to decide what you’re looking for from conversations about dating or your partner. Do you want support? Advice? Is there something you want them to do with the information you give them? Or are you just super-excited that your partner got you flowers and want to share that happy feeling with an important person in your life? Having a sense of what you want to come from the conversation can make it easier to communicate your feelings and needs and helps your parent figure what their role in the conversation ought to be.

Give it Time

As with friendships, relationships with family can fall to the wayside when you’re in the midst of a new romance. Something you can do to help your parent adjust to the fact you’re dating someone is make sure you’re still putting real time and energy into your relationship with that parent (that’s assuming you have a positive, or even just an okay, relationship with them). It’s helpful to deliberately make time for the two of you to connect, and to be the initiator in that sometimes. It gives you a structured means of maintaining the relationship that is workable and enjoyable for you, or at least fairly painless. It also helps you and your parent with your transition into greater independence. You get a chance to still feel connected to each other while cultivating lives as individual people.

How you decide to spend your bonding time is up to you. If you’re living at home, maybe you have a regular movie or game night, or a night where you make dinner together. Maybe you take a class together or a spend time on a shared hobby. Or maybe you simply set aside an hour once a week to take a walk or a hike together and talk. If you’re not living at home, setting up a regular schedule of communicating, like a once a month phone call, can serve a similar purpose of letting you and your parent feel connected to each other without that connection dominating the rest of your life.

An Intro to Introductions

What’s the best way to introduce your partner to your family? That’s going to depend on your family dynamics, cultural expectations, and what everyone involved is comfortable doing, but there are a few things to consider that can make the situation as low-stress as possible.

Avoid high-stakes or stressful situations when possible: Stress doesn’t tend to bring out the best in people, and you ideally want both your parent and your partner to be able to be their best selves when they first meet. If you can avoid it, don’t introduce your partner to your parent during a moment where emotions are running high or people are on edge. For example, is someone in your family going through a major emergency? Now may not be the best time to bring your partner over after school. Likewise, are you or your partner in the middle of final exams? Maybe save the introduction until after those tests and last-minute cramming sessions are finished. By doing that, you’re helping create a situation where everyone is more relaxed and can concentrate on getting to know each other rather than on the stressful things looming over their head.

Sometimes, conflicts that arise between your partner and your parent are part of a bigger issue with one of those relationships. If your parent are voicing concerns that your partner is not treating you well, you may want to look through articles about red flags or other IFTTT

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