#turns out an insane bitch vibes with the dark music. who knew

[orcelito]

Ok. Feeling this one too.

Probably more than the other two of the night, tbh

[maribabyart]

Do you have any Demon Martha headcanons? How do you think her reunion with Mrs. Mayberry (The teacher who paid for her assassination) in hell would go?

 OK YES I HAVE HEADCANONS FOR THIS HERE WE GO --

MARTHA HEADCANONS <3

So, I’m gonna start with her before she died so I can fully get into why every part of her is the way she is as a demon.

Martha is light skinned Latina woman with family coming from Venezuela. Her mother has a much darker skin tone than her, but her father is far more light-skinned, where she gets her complexion from. While she was raised in America, her parents were immigrants. She was born at home, and she didn’t get a birth certificate until she was four, the year before she started schooling.

She has three older brothers. They were very rambunctious with Martha as a child, pulling pranks on her/with her, taking her hunting, etc.

She was raised out on a farm in the middle of a forested area in Kentucky. They raised cattle, sheep, chickens, and horses. Martha’s main job on the farm was to groom/ride horses and feed chickens.

She learned her sharp-shooter skills in a more intense version of something like 4H unique to her area. She was fantastic with a bow and arrow, and even better with her firearms.

Cannibalism was normalized in Martha’s life from a young age. She knew that it must be kept secret from the outside world, and that it wasn’t accepted. However, it wasn’t something she found to be horrid.

Her family -- and their close friends -- came from a long lineage of Satanic cultists that practiced cannibalism to purge any bit of, “soul” remaining in the corpses of their sacrifices. Due to this, Martha had evolved to be able to be immune to the ill side effects of cannibalism, along with the ability to not feel repulsed by the idea of eating human meat.

Her favorite part of the body growing up was the brain, and it still is to this day. She loves the frontal lobe slathered in spices and hot sauce.

She began her cultish killings at age fourteen, when she officially joined the cult of her family’s descent -- Compañerismo de la Fruta Prohibida (Fellowship of the Forbidden Fruit, a refrence to their following of Lucifer)

Martha didn’t love Raphael Peterson, or, “Ralphie”. She was married of to him at age sixteen, when she became a, “Woman” in the cult’s eyes. They were both meant to appear as an ideal couple so that people wouldn’t suspect them, as their parents before them have.

Ralph and Martha always saw each other as friends with benefits.

They moved to Dayton, Tennessee to start their family when they turned eighteen.

In Nashville, Martha started singing to music her husband played in Taverns. Think Dolly Parton style music. She sounded a lot like that.

Their first child was born when Martha was eighteen: Their daughter, Jolene Peterson. Two years later, they had their son, Beau Peterson.

Martha was always really involved with her kids’ school activities, and she was always volunteering to work events, and her kids were in every activity they could be.

She used her physical attractiveness to seduce and kill men.

While sex favorable, Martha is on the aspec -- greysexual (sexual pleasure is irrelevant to her, and she only engages in it to appease her partner generally. She only finds sexual attraction in people while in the act.) Because of this fact, Martha only has affairs for the sake of gaining trust to bring the men home so they can be killed and eaten.

When Martha was shot, the community villainized Mrs. Mayberry because the town darling, Martha Jane Nunez Robles-Peterson, would NEVER cheat, right? The situation was misread: Martha was just talking to Jarold Mayberry that night about t-ball-related things, right? He WAS the the little league captain for her 6-year-old-son’s league, wasn’t he?

Martha was gifted millions by the community, and people were insanely supportive of her. They wanted the sweet Martha they, “knew” to get better soon. They loved her so -- such a darling woman!

Her music became more well known, and soon, Martha was all over TV. Her big musical break came from when she auditioned for American Idol and made it. Her sob-story propelled her, and she eventually won.

Martha was a hero to everyone around her -- surviving a traumatic event that was uncalled for, while also being so damn chipper and kind.

Hell, did you guys see the background in one of those scenes?! Martha was canonly proclaimed a SAINT! People loved her that much.

She used the public trust to lure in more victims and never be suspected.

Martha was 28 when she died. Ralphie was 28 as well. Jolene was 10, and Beau was 8.

Ralphie managed to survive the explosion, albeit he was completely paralyzed, and the two children went to heaven. Ralphie repented during his last month alive, and confessed to his crimes. He was sent to heaven as well.

Martha and the children were declared to have died in a bear attack, as Compañerismo de la Fruta Prohibida covered up their true demise with ease.

People were heart broken -- Martha’s music was used in sad collages on Youtube, Tik Toks had Martha’s face in them for memorials.

No one ever realized her crimes.

Now! As a demon....

In hell, Martha picked up the alias Hero -- it’s what she was in life, right? I’ll be calling her Hero from now on.

Hero is both different and similar to how she was when she was alive. She’s still the got her kind-hearted, southern mama vibe going for her: She tends to be able to fit into any demonic crowd well, either by attractiveness or by sheer, overwhelming allure -- she���s a very magnetic personality.

As far as powers go, Hero’s are mostly related to firearms. She’s acquired these powers through deal making and soul dealing, as most demons do. Her charming aura very quickly lure people into thinking she’s naive or really just being honest with them.

Her nails can peel back to allow her to shoot from, “finger guns”. Each finger is a different gun, besides her middle and index fingers. They are both shotguns. Together, they make a double barrel shotgun.

When in full demonic form, Hero’s bandages become sentient. They peel away from her wound, revealing a minigun like weapon in the hole in her head. This can rapid fire while the bandages can grab onto things or hoist Hero up. She can make this last for five minutes -- ten at the longest -- before she gives out to sheer exhaustion and needs to eat demon meat to replenish herself.

Within her first week in hell, she was known to be powerful. Not quite an overlord, but powerful enough to hang around overlords. 

She hit overlord status three months later, during the terf war seen in Hazbin Hotel’s pilot: She took several areas of land, and was seen to have several lesser demons flocking to be on her good side.

Hero used her land to build up a bar and grill that serves strictly demon meat and blood, where demons can play music and dance. It’s like a fucked up country dinner. It’s an insanely popular addition to Cannibal Colony, where she lives.

The place is called La Cocina de la Calle Kuru (The Kuru Street Kitchen)

Hero REALLY wants to get her hands on exterminator tools, but she’s not really a fan of black market deals -- it’s too “trashy” for her.

Hero knows Alastor pretty well, as he’s came in for meat and to watch the music. They’ve had pretty decent conversations while she was on break, seeing as they were both influential  southern, cannibalistic serial killers. It’s a running gag between them where they jokingly talk about who was more iconic -- “I bet I took out more belles in a lifetime than you could in your entire afterlife!” “Well hon, at least I could eat the brains without gettin’ Kuru!”

She talks to Rosie a lot about business, and has met Niffty and Mimzy before. (Al hooked a bitch up with some friends lmao)

She REALLY likes Mimzy. She reminds her of Ralphie, and they became super fast friends. 

Vox and Hero have a confusing sort of friendship, as neither really wants to be seen with the other -- In his case, because she’s much lower on the overlord spectrum than him, and in her case, because she’s no stranger to Alastor and Vox’s hatred for one another. However, she often finds herself consoling Vox on sleepless nights after closing up the bar, trying to convince him that Valentino is NOT worth his time. Beyond that and him occasionally paying her back in tech at random hours of the morning, they don’t talk often.

Hero LOVES dancing! Like, a lot.

She’s seen Charlie’s ad for the Happy Hotel. Her and Mimzy watched it, and they both thought it was the stupidest damn thing they’d ever seen. However, Hero said she was happy Charlie got up there, because she was just, “Cute as a button, that lil’ sweatpea was!”

Hero’s best friends are Mimzy and an unnamed demon who specializes in black market, extermination tool selling (the one seen in in Addict -- Cherri Bomb’s former lover).

These two people, and these two people alone, can call her “Martha”

Hero cooks whenever she’s stressed. She also adores sewing and binging soap operas and reality shows on Voxflix.

Hero’s Instagram would be, “HeroicMelodies” in reference to her music career and name.

Hero gets hit on A LOT, and she despises it. She doesn’t need to seduce people anymore to get away with murder, and she doesn’t want to. She dresses the way she does because she LIKES that clothing. People can fuck off.

The reason Hero is white and pink is to show how innocent she looks. Her pitch-black eyes show her dark soul.

Hero sings in Spanish to herself when cleaning up.

Sometimes, Hero and Rosie spend holidays going around with ground demon meat to throw to the hell crows and other critters. They find it peaceful.

Hero, shockingly, holds no hatred for I.M.P., and commonly jokes about how the I.M.P.’s, “Did her a favor” by sending her somewhere she can actually be her. She has no idea who called for the hit, though. 

Hero finds Blitzo’s Instagram posts being poorly spelled to be, “Damn near precious”.

She thinks he’s a teenager, and probably would think it less adorable if she knew he was a grown man with a grown kid.

Hero doesn’t care about Mrs. Mayberry at all. Like, at all. She honestly assumes the woman is in heaven. She knew Mayberry wasn’t bad -- she probably wouldn’t care if she was in hell, though. Oh well. Sucks to suck, bitch.

Husk frequents La Cocina de la Calle Kuru to drink and engage in the gambling scene. Hero finds him trashy, but can’t say she hates him. She finds him funny as hell, and enjoys the business. Just not someone she’d personally hang out with.

[fanfic-corner]

Wrapped In Red

Merry Christmas, @masterofevilmonkeyness! I’ve really enjoyed writing your secret santa for @destielsecretsanta2020 this year, and it has actually ended up being the longest fic I have ever written!

First of all, here’s the playlist. My friend found some perfect songs for the different scenes, and we had a lot of fun trying to find songs with specific vibes!

Without further ado, here’s the fic. And, if you’d prefer, the link to it on AO3.

{o0o}

“So you’ll do it?” his brother’s voice crackles though Dean’s cracked phone, and he sighs. So yeah, maybe he hasn’t been on a case in a while and has been going slowly insane just hanging around the bunker, but he also doesn’t want to leave Cas alone. Since his grace had faded completely a few days ago, the former angel had hardly left his room, and Dean wasn’t sure what he could do to help.

He rubs his forehead, already feeling a headache coming on simply from this conversation, and replies, “I’ll ask Cas.”

“Okay, text me if you’re going,” Sam responds, the phone making the muffled noises that Dean has learnt means that he is holding his phone on his shoulder, freeing his hands to talk to Eileen.

“Stop worrying, anyway,” Dean tells him, cracking his back as he stands up. “You’re on holiday. Leave the cases for a while, and I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

“Alright, jerk.”

“Bitch.”

Dean slips his phone into his back pocket and wanders down the hallway, so engrossed in his plan to invest in some thick socks because the bunker floor is freezing that he nearly walks straight into Cas. His dark hair sticks up in every direction and he is wearing an old Zeppelin shirt of Dean’s and a pair of Sam’s sweatpants, which look like they are being held up by some kind of miracle. Paired with the bags under his eyes which are so dark that Dean mistakes them for bruises, he could be mistaken for a ghost. 

“Hey, uh,” Dean stutters, not sure what to say. “Sam has a case that I was thinking of going on, but we don’t have to, we can just pass it on to Garth or-”

“I’ll go with you,” Cas interrupts, his voice hoarse and croaky.

Dean raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure? You don’t look...great. No offense.”

“I’m fine, Dean.” Cas’ steely blue eyes had always been able to pull off a frighteningly good stare, and Dean just decides to go along with it. It would do them both good to get out of the bunker, in any case.

“Okay,” he agrees, “shall we go in about an hour? That’ll give me enough time to pack for both of us and you enough time to have a shower.”

Cas nods, and they part ways, Dean watching the angel hoist his borrowed pants up and disappear around the corner before shaking his head and fishing his phone out to text Sam.

We’ll take it. Send me the details, setting off in an hour.

{o0o}

Dean had tried his very best to hold a conversation when they set off on the fourteen hour drive, but he had long given up and they were only at the two hour mark. Every question he asked so far had either gone unanswered or had been graced with a monosyllabic response. It was like trying to hold a conversation with a brick wall. Well, no one could fault him for trying. 

Flicking his wrist out lazily, he turns on the radio without looking with the kind of graceful expertise that only comes from years of driving his baby at night. It takes a full ten seconds for him to realise that the sound of jingle bells is coming from the speakers before he groans. “Nope.��

A surprisingly warm hand shoots out to stop him before he can turn it off, and Dean looks up in surprise at Cas’ imploring face. “Please can we listen to it?”

Considering what the dude had lost recently - and the fact that apparently his puppy eyes are almost as effective as Sam’s - Dean was hardly going to deny him this one thing. He did, however, have one condition. “Okay, I’ll leave it on, but only if you fish out my Christmas mixtape from the box.”

Dean never took his eyes off the road, but he was acutely aware of the way Cas stared at him for a moment before excitedly rummaging through the old box of tapes. Eventually, he pulls it out, admiring the battered stickers and fading drawings that he and Sam had added when they made it all those years ago. Cas gently slides it in and the first few notes of Mariah Carey grace the air.

“Hell yeah,” Dean says, grinning wildly. “You, Castiel, are about to be educated in some proper Christmas music.”

By the time the mixtape finishes, they are both in a much better mood, so Dean decides it is probably a good idea to stop for a little bit to get some snacks and some gas. Frowning, Cas informs him that he needs the toilet, before disappearing towards the nasty looking bathroom. Dean can’t help but feel bad for him; as much as he loves being human, he knows it must be annoying to suddenly have the weird experience of a human body. They always seemed to hurt or need something, and he could tell that Cas found the whole thing incredibly repetitive and exasperating.

The gas station is like every other gas station Dean has ever seen; empty, with a layer of grime that seemed to cover everything and the bright lights that ensured that no matter what time of day it was, it always seemed to look the exact same. This one, however, is also covered in Christmas decorations. Glittery tinsel and rainbow paper chains swing from the ceiling, the air conditioning coaxing them into a gentle dance. Fake snow covers every surface, and flashing fairy lights force him to blink and look away. 

Dean moves on autopilot, picking up snacks that Cas hasn’t tried yet and a couple of bottles of water, before reaching the counter. He has to yell to the cashier - who is decked out in a festive jumper and Santa hat - in order to be heard over the deafening Christmas music.

“Here,” she practically sings, disappearing into the back room for a second before reappearing with a ridiculous pair of reindeer antlers. “These are for you, sweetie! No charge. Cheer up, it’s Christmas!”

Dean tries to refuse the antlers, but the lady - Lucy, her name tag reads - is not taking no for an answer, so eventually he gives in, telling himself that it is just so he can leave this Christmas Hell and get back to driving. Cas is waiting for him outside, leaning on the car and watching as the first few flakes of snow start to fall.

Dean hesitates for a moment before offering the antlers to him. Cas just stares at them, his head tilted to one side. Sighing, Dean just steps closer and puts them on Cas’ head, laughing when the bells jingle as he tries to look up at them without taking them off. He slips his phone out and sneaks a picture of the bewildered former angel, hastily putting it away and bundling Cas in the car so that they can set off before the snow gets too bad.

“Why did you give me a pair of fake antlers, Dean?” Cas asks as they set off, turning them over and inspecting them in his hands. Much to Dean’s dismay, they wouldn’t fit in the car. 

“Thought you liked Christmas stuff?” he replies, grinning.

“What do fabric antlers have to do with Christmas?” 

And so, Dean finds himself spending the last leg of the journey attempting to explain Christmas traditions to Cas, who can’t help interrupting and pointing out the real facts, rather than Dean’s Christmas cracker knowledge. They go over Santa and his reindeers (“reindeers can’t fly, Dean”), the birth of Jesus (“I remember Balthazar telling me about that”), and mince pies (“why are they sweet? Mince isn’t supposed to be sweet.”). By the time they arrive Dean is so eager to escape the onslaught of questions that he doesn’t know the answer to, he hits someone with the car door as he gets out.

The actual reason that they have driven into the middle of absolutely nowhere dangerously close to Christmas is because a couple had gone missing last week and hadn’t been seen since. Usually, they would assume that this case wasn’t their kind of thing, but Sam had been asked to check it out by another hunter who knew them (and who apparently had some beef with a ton of shapeshifters), and so here they are..

Dean suggests that FBI agents might be a bit too suspicious for a small town in the middle of nowhere, so instead he and Cas decide to pretend that they are just family visiting them for the weekend. They knock on next door under the pretense of asking for the spare key, and are greeted by possibly the grumpiest people Dean has ever met.

“Fine,” the lady snaps, the half of her face visible from behind the door frowning at them in disgust before turning back into the house. “Harold, get the spare key for next door!”

“Do you happen to know where they have gone?” Dean asks politely, the pleasant smile on his face starting to ache.

“No.”

Cas raises his eyebrows at Dean, before he tries. “When was the last time you saw them?”

The woman huffs impatiently. “Probably when they went to that stupid office Christmas party. We could hear the music from here. It was so inconsiderate.”

“Oh,” Dean replies, sharing a look with Cas. “Where was this party?”

The door opens fully, a man appearing behind the lady - Harold, Dean assumes - who hands the key over to them. “It was those blasted Mitchells.” He turns to his wife, his bushy eyebrows raised. “Did you hear that they are throwing another goddamn party tomorrow, Ann?”

“Thanks for all your help,” Dean interrupts before they can get too carried away. 

“Merry Christmas!” Cas adds, already backing away. 

They speedwalk back across the victims’ house, making sure that the neighbours’ door is shut before they completely break down laughing. Dean can barely open the door, but when he finally manages to correctly align the key in the lock, they both tumble into the front room, shaking uncontrollably.

Dean collapses next to the couch, sliding to the floor. He takes a couple of deep breaths before managing to speak. “Sounds like we’re going to your first Christmas party, Cas.”

{o0o}

After making their way through most of the people in the town, two things have been made very clear. First of all, the last anyone had seen of the victims - Adam and Amelia Knapp - was at their office Christmas party. Which nearly everyone in the town had been at, and yet no one knew anything remotely helpful. Secondly, there was another Christmas party being held tomorrow night by the somewhat popular Mitchell family, and the chances of their mystery monster striking were high, in Dean’s opinion.

The most logical course of action would be for Dean and Cas to pretend to be guests at the party, so they could stop their creature before anyone else went missing and then they could disappear back home in time for Christmas. However, Dean had found that nothing in his life could ever be that simple, so instead he found himself standing in front of a wide array of hats, trying to wrestle a fez away from a former angel of the Lord.

Because of course it had to be a costume party, and just as the icing on the cake, it had to be a couples only costume party.

“Dude,” Dean says, finally managing to wrench the fez from Cas’ iron grip, “if we’re wearing hats, at least try a good hat.”

Dean plops an example on Cas’ head, laughing as it slips over his eyes. “These aren’t Christmassy, Dean.”

“Sure they are,” Dean says, grabbing a hat more in Cas’ size and a matching one for him. He strolls over to the till, grabbing a couple more things on the way. “You’ll see.”

Since they have a few hours to kill before the actual party, Dean decides that they can waste some of the day doing some Christmas shopping, especially after he finds out that Cas hasn’t got any presents yet. He drives them to a nearby mall, throws Cas a handful of notes and his antlers, and gives him strict instructions to buy some presents and then meet Dean in the food court in an hour. 

“Why can’t we do it together?” Cas asks, and Dean could swear he was pouting.

“Because the presents are supposed to be a surprise,” he explains, shooing Cas away with his hands. “Look, I’ll see you in an hour, and if you need anything you can just call me, ‘kay?”

Cas nods and meanders off, disappearing into the crowd without further complaint.

It is nearly ten minutes later, while he is rummaging through some shirts in an attempt to find one in Sam’s size, when Dean realises that this is the first time that Cas has been alone since he lost his grace. A sudden jolt of panic rushes through him, and he has to force himself to take a deep breath.

Castiel was older than humanity. He had led armies of angels. He had fought against demons and archangels and every monster under the sun. He could handle buying a few Christmas presents.

But, at the same time, Dean can’t help but worry. The dude has questionable social skills at best, and he is still trying to get to grips with his brand new human body. He often has to be reminded to eat or drink water or sleep, and there were several embarrassing occasions in the beginning where he had forgotten entirely.

Dean’s hand itches, his fingers curling towards his back pocket, but he resists the urge to call and check up on Cas. He doesn’t need a babysitter. He tells himself that he should just get his presents for people and then he can meet back up with Cas as soon as possible.

The mall is packed, the usual last rush as people get the last few things they need for Christmas. Conversations and the sound of toddlers crying fight to be heard over the echoing music, festive music adding to the deafening noise. While dodging people, making his way to their meeting place, Dean tries to remember the last time he was in a mall. Certainly not recently - he thinks it may be some time before he met Cas - and he definitely doesn’t remember them making him feel this claustrophobic. The sea of people pushing against him makes him want to throw up, and he finds himself having to duck into the nearest shop to avoid the crowd, shutting his eyes and leaning heavily against a railing.

“Dean?” a deep, familiar voice asks him, concerned. “Are you alright?”

Dean cracks one eye open, laughing when he realises what shop he found Cas in. He knew he should never have introduced him to Hot Topic. “I’m fine, Cas. Just hungry.” he deflects, standing up straight and patting his friend on the shoulder.

Cas gives him a look that says ‘I know you’re lying but I’m going to let you get away with it just this once’ and instead says, “Let me pay for this, and then we can go and get some lunch.”

Not even twenty minutes later, Dean is watching Cas eat a taco for the first time and has completely forgotten that he ever felt bad, because he is laughing too hard to care. Cas looks highly bemused at the stain on his precious trench coat, but Dean thinks that, secretly, he doesn’t mind.

{o0o}

There is no question that they are in the right place when they pull up outside the address they were given a few hours later, if the ridiculous amount of fairy lights and assorted decorations are anything to go by. They can’t help but stare at the blinding display for a moment, before Dean turns to Cas to make sure he remembers the plan. “Okay, so we go in, find our mystery monster-”

“Sam thinks it is a shapeshifter.” Cas interrupts.

“Okay, so we grab this shifter, gank it, grab some food on the way out and then drive home in time for Christmas. You remember the cover story?”

Cas rolls his eyes. “Yes, Dean. We’re the Bassons, and we’re thinking about moving here. Do I need to repeat the rest?”

“Alright then, you ready?” Dean intertwines his fingers with Cas’ - in order to keep their cover, obviously - takes a deep breath, and then opens the door.

A wave of heat rolls out from the crowded house, contrasting with the painfully cold air outside. As they step inside, Dean picks up a delicious smell wafting in from the kitchen, a mixture of turkey and cranberry sauce and mulled wine and gravy. The third thing he notices is the music blaring in from the other room, loud enough that he can feel the vibrations thrum through his body. He laughs when he realises what song it is. Space Cowboy; he couldn’t have picked a more fitting song.

After they had come home from their spontaneous shopping spree, Dean had spent an hour making the perfect couple’s costume. Considering the only supplies he had were ones he had picked up from the dollar store, he was actually pretty impressed with his handiwork. Both him and Cas were wearing their normal fed suits, however, it was the hats that really sold it. Dean had affixed - using an alarming amount of superglue - a strand of purple and blue glittery tinsel to his cowboy hat, and a set of fully functional Christmas lights to Cas’. 

Cas had protested at first - “How are cowboys Christmas related, Dean?” - until he had been convinced by the hidden practicality of it: any weapons they brought with them could be written off as part of the costume. Also, cowboys are awesome. Dean has yet to find someone who can prove him wrong on that point.

Cas squeezes Dean’s hand to get his attention, nodding towards two people who appear to be the hosts of the party. The music shifts into some Christmas classic, and they make their way over so they can start ruling people off the list of suspects.

An hour later, Dean officially decides that he is never attending a Christmas party again. Luckily, they’ve only had to deal with one homophobe, who Dean ‘accidentally’ dropped a whole plate of food on, but that doesn’t mean that none of the other guests are driving him up the wall. It seems that everyone is slightly drunk apart from them, and the only reason Dean hasn’t joined in is because of the dirty looks Cas sends him every time he so much as glances towards the punch bowl. 

It’s the karaoke that does him in. Cas is somewhere (Dean couldn’t tell if he genuinely needed the bathroom, or if that was his attempt at saying he was going to scout the house) and there is a woman wearing a skimpy reindeer outfit and wailing along to Last Christmas. God only knows what caused her to get on top of the table and join in while crying, but Dean suspects the answer includes lots of alcohol and the fact that the man who she had arrived with had disappeared upstairs with an elf some time earlier. Her rendition certainly isn’t going to win any awards.

With Cas not there to see, Dean manages to finish two plastic cups worth of surprisingly nice punch before he can be stopped. Considering the dude has flashing lights on his head, Cas can be remarkably sneaky when he wants to be.

“Dean, I don’t think-”

“Oh, what wonderful costumes!” a woman interrupts, and Dean forces a smile back on his aching face before he turns around to face her, just in time to see wink at him. She is wearing a green dress and is covered in baubles and tinsel, and the man standing next to her is literally wearing a massive cardboard box, wrapped to look like a present. It takes all of Dean’s self control not to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it.

“Thank you,” Cas says, and Dean wraps an arm around his waist in order to confirm that they are, in fact, a couple. The few times he had touched Castiel, he had been cold; it had felt like touching a corpse. As a human, Cas was like a hot water bottle, and even though the house was boiling, Dean couldn’t help but latch onto him whenever the opportunity arose. 

“I’m Natasha,” the woman continued, staring at Dean in what he had to assume was her version of ‘seductive’ and completely ignoring Cas. “Oh, and this is Cole,” she adds as an afterthought.

Cole also winks at Dean. He has never felt so uncomfortable in his life, and he went to Hell. Although, he has also never had both members of a couple separately flirt with him while fake dating someone else.

“I’m Dean, and this is Cas,” he replies, pulling the former angel even closer into him. “My husband.”

“Oh,” Cole says, and Dean doesn’t think he is imagining the disappointed tone.

“Sorry,” Natasha adds, not sounding in any way apologetic. “I didn’t realise you were a couple!”

Dean didn’t think he could make it more obvious, but… if she didn’t believe them, then they might be at risk of blowing their cover. There were already at least seven people who had been avoiding them after the usual weird questions and some not quite realistic ploys to get them to touch a silver coin that they had brought with them. 

“Why’s that?” he asks, and regrets the question almost as soon as it comes out of his mouth.

“For starters,” Natasha proclaimed, way too eager for this to end well. “You’ve been standing under mistletoe this whole time and haven’t kissed!”

Dean’s whole body freezes as they both look up, and sure enough, the bastard plastic plant is hanging directly over their heads.

“I didn’t realise,” Cas says, somewhat dazedly.

Dean takes a deep breath - there’s nothing they can do now, not with these nosy, weirdass people watching and waiting and expecting a kiss - and pulls Cas closer, turning to face him so their bodies are pressed together. In the dim lights, the lights on Cas’ hat make his startling blue eyes twinkle like starlight, and Dean wonders how he never saw how gorgeous he was before now. Maybe he had, and it had just been buried along with everything else.

“Dean,” Cas’ low voice rumbles, but he doesn’t finish his sentence.

Kissing a man is not so different to kissing a woman, and Dean can’t help but notice how much he likes the feeling of Cas’ chapped lips on his own. Something lights up inside him like a firework, and he realises exactly how much he wanted - no, needed this. He feels better than he has in a long time, as if a missing puzzle piece had suddenly slotted into place.

Cas pulls away first, and Dean’s mind suddenly catches up with his body. Holy shit, he just kissed Cas. He barely registers Natasha and Cole walking away, still transfixed by the fact he finds a former angel of the Lord - who is a man - devastatingly handsome.

“Dean. Dean, are you okay?” It is only the feeling of Cas’ body heat leaving him that gets him to look down, absentmindedly fixing the shorter man’s hat.

“Yeah,” Dean replies, choking on the words. “Yeah, I just gotta - I’m just gonna…”

And, like a complete and utter cowardly dick, he walks away.

{o0o}

It has been twenty minutes, so Dean can be fairly certain that Cas isn’t gonna come looking for him. Which is fine. It’s not like he was expecting him to. They only kissed to keep up the pretense, and Dean’s weird behaviour has probably ruined that anyway. It meant nothing.

The problem is that Dean can’t stop thinking about how amazing it had felt to kiss Cas. He had tasted like mulled wine and honey and the promise of a thousand lazy mornings. It had felt like flying and drowning all at once. Dean had never understood when people had described kisses as things that had nothing to do with the act, like earthquakes or lightning or fireworks, but the only way he could explain the ecstasy he had felt when their lips had touch was an act of God.

And that thought only spiraled into another: Dean had kissed an angel of the Lord. An angel. Even though Cas was human now, he still remembered the birth of existence and every word that came out of his mouth was fueled by eons of knowledge and memories and experience. He held himself with a grace that only a true warrior can execute, and to him, Dean must seem so small. How insignificant was he compared to that brilliant man?

Finally, there it is. The real issue. Castiel is a man.

It had taken some time, but Dean had taught himself, eventually, that John Winchester was a terrible parent. In fact, it was generous to call him a parent at all. It was Dean who had raised Sam, raised himself. And, even now, he couldn’t help but fall back into his old mindset, into an old version of Dean who would have done anything for his father’s approval. But, if he is being honest with himself - and, let’s be frank, it’s about time - Castiel was not the first man he had liked. He probably wasn’t even the third. 

In that moment, Dean decides that he doesn’t want to be a coward any longer. If he never expected his life to be a long one, then it is all the more reason to go for what he wants now, rather than later.

Yeah, maybe he’ll lose Cas, but… the possibility of what could await him if Cas does reciprocate is far more frightening than the former angel laughing in his face.

{o0o}

Castiel considers himself very knowledgeable in Dean Winchester’s emotions. He knows exactly how long to avoid Dean after eating a slice of his pie, he knows that he can hold full conversations with just a look, and, as an example, he knows that after their kiss, Dean Winchester was panicking. Badly.

That was fine. Castiel was fine with that. It wasn’t like he had been secretly in love with a man who had repeatedly called him a brother for over ten years. Nothing like that.

Sighing, Cas gently puts his paper plate on the corner of the kitchen table, the food he had been so excited to try half an hour ago now making his stomach roll. He figured that Dean had just needed some air; he would cool down, shove all of his emotions down in true Winchester fashion, and then return and pretend that nothing ever happened. The problem wasn’t just with the fact that Cas would very much be remembering that kiss until the day he died, but that Dean had been a really long time. 

Time moves differently now that he was human. As an angel, everything seemed to move so much faster. There was always something to do, the faint crackling of angel radio like a comforting background noise or a million particles to study. A blink of his eye and a century could have passed, and yet here he is, thirty minutes feeling like an eternity.

It’s by the time Cas has checked every room downstairs that he really starts to worry.

Dean is not in the kitchen stuffing his face, and he is not in the dining room drinking punch, and he is not dancing to the rather annoying upbeat song that is playing in the living room. He is not in the hallway, or on the stairs, or in the bathroom. When Cas starts asking, people give conflicting answers. A bauble saw him go upstairs, a Christmas tree could swear he was in the kitchen, an elf insists that he went outside. 

Since it is the only place he hasn’t checked, Cas heads outside. There, on the floor, is Dean’s stupid hat, the tinsel loose on one side, dangling pathetically into a puddle of melted snow.

Cas immediately calls Sam, who picks up surprisingly quickly. “Cas? What’s up?”

“ImighthavekissedDeanandnowIdon’tknowwhereheis-”

“Cas, slow down,” Sam urges, forcing Cas to take a deep breath before continuing.

“We’re, uh, at a couples’ only party, and we had to kiss and then Dean freaked out but he’s been gone for ages and I think he is in trouble,” Cas says, only marginally slower than before.

“Shit. Okay, send me the address. We’re on our way.”

Sam, Cas thinks as he tries a door handle that he missed before, is excellent at coming up with plans. Maybe it’s the time spent in college, maybe it’s his years of hunting experience, but even over the phone he had pointed out things that Cas had failed to spot. Like, for example, the door to the basement.

Cas turns the phone flashlight on like Dean taught him, the beam still not strong enough to light up the impenetrable darkness. The music fades to a distant hum in the background, becoming distorted and frantic as Cas feels. His eyes have barely adjusted enough to see the familiar but unconscious form on the ground - “Dean?” - before something solid connects with the back of his head, and Cas tumbles forwards, crumpling at the bottom of the stairs.

{o0o}

“Cas?”

Cas groans. When he had finally fallen completely, he had been surprised by how much being human hurts. Something always aches, and everything is so easy to damage. Even the smallest of injuries - a stubbed toe or a papercut - hurts way more than it should.

Apparently, a combination of blunt force trauma to the back of the head and the general bruises one acquires from falling down a flight of stairs hurt a lot more than a stubbed toe.

“Hey, buddy, you okay?” A familiar voice asks, and Cas tries to turn his head so that he can see Dean, instead finding out that that particular head movement causes his vision to blur and swim. When he attempts to bring his hands up to survey the damage, he can’t understand why they don't move for a moment, before his brain finally manages to catch up and he remembers the night’s events. 

So, maybe he wasn’t expecting his first kiss with Dean to be followed by being kidnapped and tied up in a basement, but this is a Winchester they are talking about here. 

“Come on, talk to me here.” Dean says, sounding worried.

Cas swallows, aiming to say something to ease Dean’s concern and instead causing a coughing fit. “I’m fine,” he eventually manages to gasp.

Dean snorts. “Sure sound like it.”

They are silent for a moment, the only sounds in the room an echoing drip and Cas’ raspy breaths. Cas isn’t sure how long they have been down there, but since Dean isn’t wriggling about in an attempt to escape, it has probably been long enough that he has already checked whether or not he can untie himself. From what Cas’ fumbling fingers can tell, though, the knots keeping them bound to this stupid pole are very good.

He feels utterly pathetic. He used to be a soldier - he had led armies, fought battles that humans couldn’t even comprehend - and here he was now, entirely useless, taken out by a baseball bat and kept prisoner by a length of rope. If he was still an angel this would have never happened. He could have saved Dean, he would have killed whoever did this, and they would have been back in time to enjoy the end of the party.

“What do we do now?” Cas asks, finally breaking the silence.

Dean sighs, and Cas can feel him against his back as his whole body sags down. “I don’t think there’s anything we can do but wait.”

Cas didn’t think he had ever heard Dean give up so easily, and it scared him. “What?”

“I don’t exactly see a way out of this, Cas. I’ve been trying to get these ropes off for half an hour and I think they’re probably just tighter than they were when I started.”

Cas gave an experimental yank, and Dean hissed in pain. Suddenly, the wetness on Cas’ hands made sense. “You’re bleeding, Dean.”

The hunter didn’t reply.

Cas had always thought that his death would be noble. Previously, it had always at least been in battle or a sacrifice, but this was just… pitiful. He was going to die at the hands of some random shapeshifter in someone’s disgusting basement, while wearing a cowboy costume.

“I - uh, I just wanted to say,” Dean starts, sounding unsure, “that I’m sorry about earlier.”

“It’s fine, Dean,” he replies, shutting his eyes in an attempt to block out the conversation. If he was going to die, he would rather not be rejected first.

“It was a dick move,” Dean continues, as if he hadn’t heard Cas. “I was just - I mean - I want to say…”

“What, Dean?”

Dean’s voice is barely a whisper. “I think I’d like to kiss you again.”

Cas’ eyes snap back open, and he hits his head on the pole in his confusion. “You would?”

“You don’t… I thought… I mean, I’m just kid-”

“Shut up,” Cas interrupts, not wanting Dean to panic all over again. “I would like that.”

“Oh. Really? Okay,” Dean replies, and Cas shuffles around until he manages to hold his hand. It’s sticky and wet with blood where Dean’s wrists have been hurt by the ropes, and every aching muscle in Cas’ body screams at the awkward position, but he thinks it might still be the happiest he has ever been.

{o0o}

Dean isn’t sure how long it is until he hears the footsteps on the stairs, but it’s long enough for him to feel much too tired for a fight. Can’t the universe just let him be happy for once? Is it too much to ask to not have to fight tooth and claw for one scrap of peace?

“Well, hello there,” a man’s voice says, and Dean feels Cas stiffen. It sounds oddly familiar, but he can’t quite place his finger on where he would have heard it before.

That is, until a second voice speaks. “What have we got here, Harold?”

The next-door neighbours. The old couple who had been complaining about the parties. Of course the only two people in this godforsaken town who they hadn’t checked were the bad guys. He should have seen it. They should have asked them more questions when they weren’t tied to this stupid pole in this stupid fucking basement.

“A pair of cowboys, Ann,” Harold tuts, and Dean cannot believe he is about to be killed by a weird old couple, of all things. He had prevented the apocalypse at least twice, had defeated God, and yet he was going to be killed by the monster of the week. Who looked like they were about three hundred years old, owned fifty cats and knitted in their spare time.

Ann walks around them, her heels clacking on the stone floor, until she comes to a stop in front of Dean. “What a shame,” she says, looking down at him like he was a stain on her shoe. “I was hoping we’d get a crier. Men rarely cry. Apart from that last fellow, of course.”

Dean’s stomach rolls, and he suddenly regrets eating so many pigs in blankets at the party. 

“What are you?” Cas practically growls, his hand squeezing Dean’s to comfort him.

“Whatever do you mean, son?” Harold asks, and he sounds genuinely confused.

Oh shit, Dean thinks, letting out an amused huff of breath. Great. He isn’t even going to be killed by the monster of the week. He’s gonna be killed by an actual old person.

“Is something funny, sweetie?” Ann demands, frowning.

Dean smiles up at her, deciding that he may as well die how he lived: a snarky bastard. “Sorry, I just can’t believe that I got kidnapped by someone’s grandma.”

Ann steps closer to him, crouching down so she is his height. A sliver of silver reflects in the dim light like a shooting star, slicing downwards and cutting a thin line across Dean’s neck. “Don’t give me cheek, boy.”

“Let’s kill the other one first, sweetheart. Then that rude fella has to watch his boyfriend die.” Harold suggests, spitting out the word ‘boyfriend’ like it physically hurts him.

Dean clutches Cas’ hand tighter, trying not to let the panic that is welling up inside him, cold and merciless, show on his face. He tugs desperately at the ropes around his wrists one more time, hoping for a miracle that he knows isn’t coming.

“Say goodbye, now.” Ann says, and Dean shuts his eyes. He knows that he can’t deal with losing Cas again, even if he’ll be gone soon after. He spares a brief thought wondering where Cas will go when he dies; is he human enough to avoid the Empty? And even so, would he go to Heaven or Hell?

“I love you, Cas,” Dean whispered, because even though he is scared, he knows that Cas deserves to know.

If Cas says anything back, Dean doesn’t hear it over the gunshot.

{o0o}

Dying was not a new experience for Castiel, nor was dying as a human. What was a new experience was the pain he felt in his chest that no bullet or knife could replicate. It was the knowledge that he had the opportunity to be happy and it had been ripped from him. It was knowing that someone loved him and cared for him and was being taken away from him.

When Harold dropped dead instead of Cas, his heart fluttered. Maybe he did have a chance.

“Dean, are you alright?” Sam’s voice calls out, and Cas finally allows himself to relax slightly.

“Sam?” Dean asks, surprise and confusion and relief all mixed together.

Eileen appears from nowhere and stoops down, grinning at Cas and slicing through the ropes. She winks at him but doesn’t say anything, simply helping him to his feet when it becomes obvious he can’t do it by himself. Sam has backed Ann into the corner of the room, his gun pointed at her with an unwavering hand, but Dean whispers something in his ear and he lowers it slightly. He signs something over his shoulder, not even glancing away from the threat, and Eileen rushes off upstairs, essentially shoving the injured Castiel into Dean’s side.

“Hey, buddy, you okay?” Dean asks gently, wrapping his arm around Cas’ waist to hold him up. His wrists are still bleeding and they are both cold from sitting in a freezing basement for ages, but the simple action fills Cas with a warmness.

“I’ve been in love with you for twelve years, you assbutt,” he mumbles.

Dean smiles down at him, somehow looking charming even covered in dirt and blood, only looking up when Sam clears his throat.

“Look, we should get out of here,” Sam suggests, standing up. He’s tied Ann to the same post that they thought would be their deathbed only a few minutes ago, and he is shooing them towards the stairs back up to the party. “Eileen’s getting someone to call the cops and we don’t wanna be here when they arrive.”

Cas ducks down, for a moment, holding Dean’s hand so he doesn’t completely keel over, and grabs the two hats off the ground. Reaching up, he puts his on before gently placing Dean’s on his head. The tinsel is falling off on one side, the lights have run out of battery, and they are both caked in dirt, but it still makes Dean smile.

“Let’s go home,” Dean says, leaning down and softly kissing Cas.

{o0o}

Much to Dean’s surprise, Sam and Eileen said nothing about his new relationship with Cas. In fact, when he tried to bring it up - he knew Sam had seen them kissing for Christ’s sake - Sam just shook his head and rolled his eyes at Dean. “Jody owes me fifty dollars,” was all he said, and their discussion was over.

Cas didn’t seem too perturbed by the whole situation, and Dean found himself wondering whether it was just him who found their new relationship strange. Not that anything much had changed, for that matter. They both behaved the exact same way, with added kissing. So what if Sam thought Dean was weird for still calling Cas ‘buddy’? He wasn’t the one dating a former angel.

What Dean had decided, after their fun little kidnapping escapade, was that Cas deserved an awesome Christmas. It was his first one as a human, after all, and what kind of boyfriend would Dean be if he didn’t show Cas all the wonders of the holiday season?

And that is how they found themselves turning the drive home into a Christmas road trip.

Cas wore his reindeer antlers wherever possible, and Dean took a million photos of him. On the first day, they visited a Christmas market. Dean thought it was much too busy and annoying, but it was all worth it for the smile Cas had after drinking his first hot chocolate. On the second day, they went to a drive-in movie. Cas gave both the funniest and most irritating running commentary that Dean had ever heard, having to remind him every five minutes that “it’s a romcom, Cas. It’s not supposed to make sense.”

On Christmas Eve, they spent most of the day driving to make sure they got home in time for the dinner that Sam and Eileen had promised. They sang carols at full volume and blasted Christmas songs and Dean taught Cas how to play the air guitar. Dean couldn’t remember a time when he had felt such a sense of freedom and happiness. Maybe it was just a Christmas miracle.

Christmas day rolled around, and it was the nicest Christmas that Dean could remember having. Sam and Eileen had decorated the entire bunker with tinsel and streamers, and had even managed to bring in a huge tree from outside. So maybe not all the decorations on it were technically Christmas related, but the silver bullets were shiny and although no one was quite sure what the pentagram they were using a star on the top did, it looked pretty cool.

By the evening, they had eaten enough food to feed twenty people for a week and had exchanged presents. Sam was sitting at the table with his new fancy pens, Eileen had disappeared to take a shower with her new soaps, and Cas and Dean were firmly planted on the couch. Cas’ new fuzzy socks were warm and ticklish against Dean’s feet, and the angel was a surprisingly good cuddler. 

All of a sudden, Dean sat up, dragging Cas with him. “Come on, dude. We should dance.”

Cas snorted but agreed, wrapping his arms around Dean tightly. They swayed slowly to the music, his head on Cas’ shoulder, gently singing along to the slow music.

Now you hang from my lips

Like the Gardens of Babylon

With your boots beneath my bed

Forever is the sweetest con.

Dean’s mouth twists into a smile. “I could spend forever with you,” he whispers, and he leans down to kiss his angel again.

[parks-involving-water]

Review: Midnight by Set It Off

Okay let's just get straight to it. Yall know I’m a slut for Set It Off. This is just gonna be me going in-depth into all of my favorite parts of the songs and lyrics. Les go

1. Killer In The Mirror

This has been a bop since DAY ONE are you kidding me????? The sampling? The sheer amount of fuck you energy? The fast part during the pre-chorus? The DROP for the chorus? Cody saying “knock ‘em all the FUCK out” adds 10 years to my lifespan every time I hear it.

Favorite Lyrics: Now I know, there’s no one I can trust I used to think there was Tell me that I’m cut throat- I think you got your eyes closed Feel the fear, and swallow back the tears Let weakness disappear There’s nobody but me here- the killer in the mirror

We been knew this shit goes hard NEXT

2. Hourglass

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW BAD THIS DESTROYED ME WHEN I FIRST HEARD IT. The fucking,,,, instrumental!!! The beat!!!! Cinematics is on the phone and she said this is it chief!!!! God!!! Like can we PLEASE talk about the nananas during the bridge?? It’s such a small thing but it adds so fuckin much to the song,,,, unbelievable

Favorite Lyrics: I'm falling through the hourglass And I don't think I'll ever make it back So I throw stones at walls I'll never climb Victim to the sands of time

This is also such like? Such a defining song for the sound of the whole album, if you think about it. Quality shit

3. Lonely Dance

ANOTHER one we already knew slaps. The guitar? The trumpet? Iconic. This one has such a fucking Vibe. Also???? So relatable. Cody came through with the social anxiety moods and I owe him my life for it.

Favorite Lyrics: Some days I’m up, some days I’m down Some days, the world is way too loud Some days my bed won't let me out But I’m okay with missin’ out on the social anxiety Out on the phony friends I don’t need So I just turn off my phone, turn on TV Cause solo’s the only way I can breathe

Okay a great song but OLD NEWS let’s get to that Fresh Content

4. Different Songs

Possibly the danciest song on this album. The fucking guitar riff and the bass? The melodies? The harmonizing in the bg of the pre-chorus and the bridge? It all blends together and it’s SUCH a bop. The most poppin song about falling out of love I’ve ever heard

Favorite Lyrics: We once called it love, devolved into lust Jealousy speaks out to silence the trust We temper our words 'cause we're scared of the truth Humming tunes that we can't get through

5. For You Forever

The instrumental in this one KILLS me. So do Cody’s vocals, honestly. He really poured his heart out into those “forever”s and you FEEL it. This one really hits me in the heart tbh. The whole theme of giving up on something that you want so bad is big oof

Favorite Lyrics: She said; “I won't wait for you forever, for you forever So, don't you say it's for the better, it's for the better 'Cause I can't take later than never, later than never No, I won't wait for you forever”

6. Dancing With The Devil

THIS SHIT IS SO BRUTAL. Like even the opening- the distorted vocals,,, god. And the lyrics! So fucking pissed off. Cody once again KILLS the delivery. I will never be over the emotion he puts into every song he sings. And when that hook hits the second time with his normal vocals and then the distorted version UNDERNEATH? Hits so hard. Don't even TALK to me about the rap part god. Also,,,, idk if this is about who I Think It’s About but like either way,,, go off sis

Favorite Lyrics: You try to act as if you're saving me But you wouldn't cut the rope if it was hanging me I'm sick of people saying what you sow you reap 'Cause I've been counting down the minutes of that, so to speak Think of all the hours and hours of grindin’ That would turn into sour findings As I wonder if our resigning is becoming the silver lining But I’m not a coward, I’m fighting Cause if they’re the meat, then I’m biting So go ahead, ignoring and smiling Cause I’m climbing til’ I let you know

7. Go To Bed Angry (Feat. Wayfarers)

This is! Such a good song, and I love the message. Like, settling issues instead of being passive aggressive or quietly angry. And it’s so nice to listen? Like everything feels so clean and leads into each other so well. Also!!! I’ve never listened to Wayfarers before but GOD the guest vocalist is AMAZING. Her and Cody’s voices harmonize so well. All in all a fuckin BOP

Favorite Lyrics: So don't you walk away from me Let's settle this, rather hear you scream Than whisper shit- there's no in-between 'Cause if we sleep in our feelings, we'll never start healing

8. Midnight Thoughts

ANOTHER one with some heavy Cinematics vibes. Honestly, I feel like this one is a great example of how amazing this album’s production is. Like, there’s so many little background elements that come together to make it sound so fuckin cool. For example, that one hook near the end where it suddenly strips back to just a beat and vocals? KILLED me. Also, another relatable anxiety bop,

Favorite Lyrics: Dim the lights, shut the blinds, but I’m counting the time Am I nervous or am I insane? Try to turn up the sound, but I can’t shut it out 'Cause I’m hearing the pulse in my veins

9. Criminal Minds

The orchestral feel to this one is so nice, and the rhythm of the lyrics feels so cool. The strings were such a good touch, they go really well with the electric guitar somehow. Cody’s vocals also feel really smooth in this one? Like this is just a pretty sounding number I love it

Favorite Lyrics: This stress eats at my soul I can't tell if I'm breathing at all Street drama takes its toll So, hit the road

10. No Disrespect

UGHHHHH don't get me STARTED on the chorus here. The stripped back staccato rhythm of the vocals with the bursts of instrumental, and then the way it flows into the full instrumental for the repetition in the second half of the chorus. It sounds so fucking gooooooooooooooood I'm having a crisis

Favorite Lyrics: 'Cause I don't see you the way you want to Forget your rescue, we're dreaming, dreaming, dreaming We had our good times, but time has passed by Begin your new life, I'm reaching, pleading, screaming

11. Stitch Me Up

I have SO much to say about this song. Cody and Shay are so fucking cute and their relationship is so nice. Any time Cody talks or sings about Shay you can feel how fuckin in love they are. The only two nice love songs I can ever remember him writing (The other one being Diamond Girl) have been about her and they’ve both been absolute gems. This one especially. It has such a potent vibe that I can really only describe as a summer song. It’s so,,, bouncy and lively and genuinely sweet with just a faint hint of sadness and ughhhhhhhh. PLUS the fuckin commentary Cody gave for this song on his insta story,,,,

“One of my favorites. These lyrics came straight from the heart. [Shay] and I have both come from damaged relationships, but somehow being broken is what made us whole.” 

Anyways love is real and I’m soft don't TOUCH ME

Favorite Lyrics: Stitch me up, stitch me up, don’t tear me apart I’ve been stuck in a rut, patched up in the dark Stitch me up, stitch me up, there’s pins in my heart Oh, pardon all my precious scars

12. Raise No Fool

Cody fuckin SNAPPED with this song and I’m living for it. One of the things Cody does so, so well, is delivering just the Most intense anger through his vocals and he brought it ALL for this one. You don’t know what happened but you fuckin FEEL it. Idk who this is about but like,,, killem Cody go Off bitch!!

Favorite Lyrics: Well, first you try to tell me that we're family Then you try to tell me that it's for the best You promise that you'll be there if I need ya But I don't need your handout, you can take it back!

13. I Want You (Gone) (Feat. Matt Appleton)

Another more mellow song, but it’s still so fuckin Good. It just has such a palpable vibe and feel. From what I can gather it’s about leaving a toxic relationship behind, and it Feels that way, in a sense? Like when I listen to it I just get this Feeling of something solemn yet triumphant and clean and new, like cutting someone shitty out of your life. PLUS, that sax? It adds SUCH a nice element to the second half of the song. Matt Appleton is a gift I’m so glad they brought him on for this song

Favorite Lyrics: I guess you'd say I'm blessed I threw away stress the moment I said I want you, I want you gone I'm on my own path, you're stuck in the past I want you, I want you gone

14. Unopened Windows

GOD,,, OKAY,,, HERE WE GO,,, Imma be real with yall. I cried the first time I heard this. It just be like that sometimes. But like this is LITERALLY Dad’s Song 2 and I wasn’t fuckin READY for that. There was no WARNING,,, I wasn’t told I was gonna get hit with that much EMOTION Okay okay for real though, this song is actually gorgeous. It’s just,,, pure fucking grief, so much of it, poured into a song. The composition, the vocals, every element of it is so powerful and heartbreaking. This is the kinda song you cry to- but like, a healing cry, the kind you have right before you take a deep breath and start moving on, y’know? The moment I heard Danny Boy near the end, I started crying all over again. Any time I hear this song or Dad’s Song, I cannot fucking begin to imagine how Cody must feel about what happened to his dad. It’s a kind of grief that can’t be explained. I’m just glad he feels like he can share it with all of us, and that he has a support system behind him. Also, I cannot communicate enough just how much this feels like a fucking,,, movie soundtrack. Like this shit would not feel out of place in a musical or something. The swelling orchestral music near the end fucking kills me. Gotta go cry again brb

Favorite Lyrics: All the stories left unwritten that we drew up in the past It's the game we never went to or the drinks we never had As I look up to the stars and make a wish to bring you back But I curse the roof above me and I learn to live behind all these Unopened windows, bound to my heart Fantasy so close feels so afar But I long to break the lock And live among the life we lost Through unopened windows; they tear me apart...

15. Happy All The Time (Feat. Skyler Acord)

WHAT a closing number. Addmmitedly a bit of a jarring followup to Unopened Windows, but it also makes a lot of sense, to go from a song about grief to a song about letting yourself process negative emotions. It also feels like SUCH a culmination of the album. Maxx even said in his Midnight release livestream, he thinks that it sort of represents the entire message of Midnight as a whole. The album was written to deal with a collection of sad, angry, and upsetting topics or experiences- this song takes all of those and says, “Dude, it’s fine, it’s okay to feel shitty, you don’t have to bottle it in or hide it” and honestly, there are so many people who need to hear that- it’s such an important message. Also??? The fucking???? Choir??? WHAT a touch. Honestly there are Several songs on this album that feel like they could be off a musical soundtrack and this is DEFINITELY one of them. It feels like a finale, and it’s so just powerful and uplifting and emotional, I love it so much.

Favorite Lyrics: It's okay, you're not crazy! Gotta taste the salt to love the sweet Let it out and scream “I'm okay, I'm not crazy!” 'Cause the tears remind me I'm alive It's fine to not be happy all the time!

Honestly, this may be my favorite album by them yet. It’s such a fucking monument to everything they’ve been through and learned and explored as a band for ten years, it has such a clear vision and comes together so well. The lyricism, vocals, instrumentals, composition, and production are all fucking fantastic. I’m so excited to see where this era leads us, and I’m so happy with what we’ve seen so far.

In conclusion, the boys did it again, I’m weeping, and stream Midnight on Itunes and Spotify. Peace out kids a bitch is gonna take a NAP

[artificialqueens]

Just Tonight #1 (Shalaska) - BABE

Sharon is the lead singer in an indie punk band and Alaska finds herself becoming their number 1 fan.

AN: So I was scrolling through the blog a while back and I found this prompt and I just fell in love with it, however I’ve been on holiday for the past five days so I wrote all of this on my mobile phone while on the tram, at the hotel, walking to see Alaska a few nights ago and even at the club. I plan to write more of this so chuck it a like if you want!! This is the first time I’ve written fanfiction in a while so I apologise! Also I plan to not make this just Shalaska, there’s hints of Trixya, Pamelet (Pearl/Fame/Violet) and Biadore if you squint.

It was a complete accident that Alaska ended up where she was tonight. 

Sure, it might seem quite comical to picture Alaska Thunder, all blonde hair and long legs, mere inches away from the indie punk cover band playing at the warehouse costume party she’d be been forced into attending by her roommate. It was even more comical to imagine her, in her slutty cat costume (which was really a short dress and heels with store bought cat gloves, ears and a choker) actually enjoying the music, but it was happening. 

A few hours prior, Alaska had just arrived home from her job at McDonald’s, praying to God that her roommate was out. It wasn’t that she didn't like Adore; it was just that the girl was insane. She spent most of her days smoking weed with random people that she had slept with the night before, and when the brunette actually attended the class that the two shared she spent the whole time hitting on Professor Del Rio. Not to mention, she was always trying to drag Alaska out to parties, and while the blonde loved going out, she barely had enough money to keep herself afloat. When she stuck the key in her door, absolutely tired from the day’s work, of course Adore’s voice rang through their shared room. 

“Lasky, we’re going out tonight!!” the brunette exclaimed as Alaska crinkled up her nose. Adore swung her legs over her bed and stood up, a wicked grin on her face. “Don’t give me that look, there’s a party down near Cooper Street that’s having a costume theme. A girl from my gender studies class, Pearl, says the band playing is going to be fucking dope plus Katya is down to come out. Please?”

Alaska sighed. Adore was making these huge puppy dog eyes and the blonde found it hard to disagree. It had been a while since they had all gone out and despite her wanting to sink into her bed and pass out for 12 hours, the blonde gave in. 

“Fine, but I wanna borrow your cat gloves,” the blonde sighed, knowing that her lack of costume could be remedied by Adore’s eclectic style. 

“Fair trade, be ready by eight. Katya will be here and we’ll drink this,” Adore paused as she dug out a bottle of tequila from behind a shelf, “before we go.“ 

“Sounds like a plan.”

——–

Two hours had passed and Alaska was impressed by her efforts. She’d managed to transform herself from a greasy mess to a cat. Her black strapless dress clung to her hips and thighs while her stilettos were higher than professor Del Rio’s standards. Her long blonde hair was pulled up Ariana Grande style while Adore’s cat ears sat atop her head like a tiara and the brunette’s fingerless gloves showed her long white nails. Another loan from Adore was a choker that said “meow” in jewels (“You better not fucking leave it in a frat boy’s room,” the brunette warned), and to finish the cat look, she’d drawn whiskers on her face. Katya (also known as Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolochikova, but nobody had the fucking effort to say her full name), who lived in the room across the hall with a film student called Max and had clicked with the two girls instantly. She lounged on Adore’s bed in her Russian gymnastics suit, red cup in hand as Adore stood in front of her mirror and tied her flannel shirt around her waist. Of course, her costume was just her everyday style - flannel shirt, high waisted shorts, band tee and sneakers, but nobody at the party knew that. The three were drinking homemade tequila sunrises and laughing about some story that had happened to Katya at the club she’d went to the night before. It was their classic pregame that they’d perfected in sophomore year. 

“I swear, Courtney was all over him!!” the Russian blonde exclaimed between chuckles. “She didn’t realise that he had the hugest cold sore, should’ve warned her." 

Adore leaned back and chucked, stepping away from the mirror with satisfaction. "Classic Courtney, total hornbag,” she mused, so many memories coming to mind. Her and the blonde go back to freshman year in high school me have been unlikely best friends ever since.  Turning to face her friends, Adore jumped onto her leopard print beanbag and took a sip from her drink. “Alaska, you’re the rich one. Call the Uber.” The blonde, who was mindlessly scrolling through her Instagram feed, sighed and closed the app. “Fine, but next time it’s your shout, Delano.” The Uber was ordered and set to come within five minutes, so the group downed their drinks and left their dorm room. Adore chatted mindlessly about whatever she was doing in her gender studies class while Katya responded in laughs and Russian phrases. Alaska, however, was in her own world all the way to the party, knowing that something was different. She had a vibe about tonight that she couldn’t ignore, but she knew something good was about to happen. 

————- 

When the trio arrived, the party was in full swing. A blonde dressed in bunny ears and a bodysuit ran over to Adore with a grin. “‘Dora, darling!” she greeted, kissing both of the brunette’s cheeks. She had blue eyes and a nose ring and was accompanied by a dark haired girl with an incredibly small waist dressed in leather. 

“Pearl!” Adore exclaimed as she copied the girl’s actions. “This is Katya and Alaska. Girls, meet Pearl.” The three exchanged polite hellos as the brunette clutching Pearl’s hand cleared her throat. “Sorry babe,” Pearl apologised. “This is Violet, she’s one of my girlfriends.” The brunette forced a smile but looked like she wanted to be elsewhere. “Don’t mind her, she’s just upset that Maggie had to go back to New York for the weekend. She’s our other girlfriend but everyone calls her Fame.” The three girls nodded in understanding as another blonde strutted up to the group. 

“Pearl thanks so much for inv-” she started to say until her eyes locked on Katya. She was dressed in all pink and had makeup resembling a Barbie. “Hi,” she said with a friendly tone. “I’m Trixie." 

Alaska and Adore both looked over at Katya as the Russian struggled to find her words. "I’m Adore, this is Alaska and that mess up the end is Katya.”

“Cool, nice meeting you girls,” Trixie replied with a grin. “Anyways, I came over to say thank you for inviting me Pearl. Now I’m off to get a drink. Anyone coming with me?" 

"Y-yes,” Katya stuttered as she followed the blonde. Alaska and Adore shared a look; they both knew that Katya would not be back until tomorrow. Pearl giggled as she turned back to the girls. Violet excused herself to go to the bathroom, leaving a light peck on her girlfriend’s cheek in the process. Pearl then focused her attention back on her friends. 

“I’d go get a drink if I were you,” she said to the girls. “My friend’s band are about to play and they’re probably the best cover band in Pittsburgh.” The blonde looked down at her buzzing phone with a devilish grin. “Sorry, I’ve been summoned,” she answered with a wink. “I’ll see you bitches later.” With that, Pearl strutted away in the direction of Violet. Adore and Alaska walked up to the bar, the brunette getting distracted and wandering in the direction of a frat boy she’d banged two weekends ago. This left Alaska alone at the bar, ordering a drink as she studied the party around her. 

“You look like you need a shot of vodka,” a voice behind me said with a smirk. Alaska turned around to see a woman with ice blonde hair wearing a leather jacket and ripped jeans. In front of her was a lonely shot, the other in her hand. Alaska looked into her eyes, intrigued at how ice blue they were. 

“I never say no to a free drink,” she replied, picking up the glass and clinking it with the stranger. The vodka slid down her throat as Alaska tried not to make a face. Blondie cackled at the other girl’s reaction, her grin the size of the Cheshire Cat. “How has your night been?” the stranger asked, returning to her rum and coke. 

“Good, although I wish they played better music,” Alaska replied honestly. Blondie raised an eyebrow, not able to take her eyes off of the girl in front of her. She notes how her costume is just an excuse to be scantily clad but couldn’t help but check her out. 

“I reckon that’ll change soon, baby. Just get yourself to the front and you’ll see.” And with that, the blonde vanished and Alaska was left to drink her vodka and raspberry in disbelief. She was intrigued by the other blonde, the way that a mixture of different emotions danced throughout her light eyes and how she so easily had Alaska under her spell already. 

The familiar voice broke her out of her thoughts as her eyes flashed around to the stage and locked with the stranger’s. 

“Hi, we’re Anarchy Rose and we’ve got a really cool set planned for you tonight!" 

The band then launched into a cover of "Make Me Wanna Die” by The Pretty Reckless. Alaska watched from the bar, ordering two more drinks and watching Blondie perform on stage. She was electric and Alaska was drawn to her every time she looked at the stage. They’d played a couple more songs until the stranger spoke again. 

“Okay, I know we’re a cover band but this is a song I’ve been working on, feel free to tell me what you think!” The crowd cheered and the music softened her voice low. Alaska was transfixed by her song, their eyes connecting from across the room. The blonde couldn’t help herself; it was as if her feet were moving by themselves through the crowd and up to the front. People were disgruntled by the blonde’s shoving but she just had to be closer to the stranger. During the final chorus, Blondie leaned down and grabbed Alaska’s hand, singing the song to her. It was in that moment that Alaska was completely hooked. 

———-

The band’s set list had ended and Alaska, who found herself completely enamoured with the lead singer, was searching through hallways for a bathroom. Her mind was still firmly on the blonde but she tried to shake it off. 

“Did you like the show?” a voice behind her asked, Alaska turning around to see that it was the lead singer. 

“Actually, I did. You were so amazing up there,” she mused as she stuck out her hand. “I’m Alaska Thunder." 

The blonde kissed the other girl’s hand, blue eyes smirking at her. "Sharon Needles. My parents had a sense of humour.” She grinned as she looked at Alaska’s red cheeks, a reaction to her kiss. It might’ve been the alcohol, but Alaska wanted Sharon to kiss her so badly. Her eyes darkened with lust as Sharon stepped closer, a grin still present on her face. 

“I’m glad you liked the show, princess,” she started, filling the space between the blondes. “But I always liked the after party.” Sharon’s hand carefully touched Alaska’s cheek, trying not to smudge the cat whiskers. Their eyes locked and both could see how much lust they each held as Sharon connected their lips. The kiss quickly became rough and fast, their lust taking top priority over anything. Sharon’s hand rested Alaska’s hip as she roughly pushed her against the door behind them and through to the empty bathroom. She kept pushing until Alaska’s ass hit the back of the sink. Moving her hand down to Alaska’s other hip, Sharon lifted the blonde on top of the sink cupboard, smirking as Alaska wrapped her legs around her waist. Their tongues fought for dominance as one of Sharon’s hand rested on Alaska’s breast, playing with it softly as she pulled away. 

Her lips weren’t away from Alaska for long, though. Sharon kissed the blonde’s neck slowly before nipping and biting at the area, causing the other girl to moan as she did so. Sharon’s lips got lower, exposing Alaska’s breasts so she could lightly suck on her nipple. She knew that she had the blonde in the palm of her hand; she knew that Alaska would beg for her to touch her soon. 

“Fuck, Sharon,” Alaska moaned. She was horny and needy and didn’t realise how much she wanted the blonde to fuck her senselessly until now. Sharon smirked at her moans and stuck her hand between the girl’s legs, rubbing her inner thigh softly before rubbing her on the outside of her panties. She smirked at how wet she was, causing her to want to tease her less. Moving up to the blonde’s mouth, Sharon kissed her on the lips as her fingers rubbed Alaska’s clit, pushing aside her panties. The blonde was moaning into her kisses, her hips bucking as she stuck two fingers inside of her roughly. This made the girl cum with a loud cry, something that was music to Sharon’s ears. However, she wasn’t done yet. 

Kneeling on the grimy bathroom floor, Sharon slipped the panties down past Alaska’s knees and pushed up her skirt so she could gain good access. Her tongue danced along the blonde’s clit before plunging inside of her, tasting her completely. Her hand roughly played with her clit as moans poured from Alaska’s mouth, the girl getting closer in a matter of minutes. 

“Sharon!” she screamed as came a second time, leaning against the mirror in pure ecstasy. This had got to be one of the best sexual encounters she’d ever had. Sharon stood up from the floor and pecked Alaska on the forehead. 

“You like that, Princess?” she asked, her grin still wicked. Her hair was dishevelled and her dark lipstick everywhere but Alaska still thought she looked beautiful. The blonde nodded, pulling Sharon back towards her for a longer kiss. They’d made out some more until Sharon unexpectedly pulled away, a grin more devilish than anything Alaska had ever seen. 

“See you at my next show,” she smirked, and with that, she left. Alaska sat on the sink confused by what had just happened - a girl had flirted with her, given her two of the best orgasms she had ever had… and left. Alaska didn’t know what would come of this, but as she walked home from the party, she knew that Sharon would be tattooed in her mind for a very long time. 

[tune-collective]

The 15 Best David Guetta Songs

The 15 Best David Guetta Songs

No matter how you feel about him, David Guetta is hugely responsible for dance music crossing over into the American mainstream. Would Calvin Harris ever be so big as he is today if Guetta hadn’t helped break down those radio barriers? Would The Chainsmokers be stealing the hearts of so many tween girls if it weren’t for early hits from Guetta and Nicki Minaj?

Guetta isn’t afraid to get cheesy, but a lot of that cheese is so gooey, it’s perfect. His willingness to work with artists across genre lines has brought hits with rappers, singer-songwriters and pop stars alike. As we await the first notes of his next single with Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne, we take a look back at 15 of the best David Guetta songs to date, from the beginning of his career way before “EDM” in 2002, to today.

15. David Guetta feat. Rihanna – “Who’s That Chick” 

Before she was tapped as Calvin Harris’ favorite house-pop vocalist, Rihanna teamed up with David Guetta in the studio for this filtered-out dance floor hit. It wasn’t as huge as “We Found Love” or other Guetta productions from 2010’s One More Love, but it did chart as high as 51 on the Billboard Hot 100.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAc4zHEDd7o

14. David Guetta – “Atomic Food”

This is just one of the strangest songs we ever did hear. It’s kind of a classic among old-school Guetta fans, definitely tells you how not serious people were about their house music back in 2002. It was a time when anything was game, even listing off food items over a killer beat. Honestly, it’s a dope tune, and certainly one that, once you’ve heard it, you’ll never forget.

13. David Guetta feat. Emeli Sande – “What I Did For Love”

Scotland’s Emeli Sande has one of the most honest voices in the game. It’s easy to see why Guetta tapped her for what eventually became the third single from his sixth studio album, Listen. It’s a slow, strong build into the big release at the hook. You don’t need much else in the verses besides Sande’s vocal, but we still love the maximalism of that drop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fL5iWgWwno

12. David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj – “Turn Me On”

Not gonna lie, this David Guetta song totally sounds like it was meant for Rihanna, and then Guetta couldn’t get Rihanna, so he just asked Nicki Minaj to play the part of the dance floor songstress. Guess it doesn’t matter, because this is one of the biggest hits of Guetta’s career so far. It peaked at No. 4 on the Hot 100 and stayed on that chart for 27 weeks. Who can forget the video, feautring Nicki Minaj as some kind of pleasure bot, coming to life mid-construction, singing from that weird metal skeleton mouth? That’s the stuff nightmares are made of.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVw7eJ0vGfM

11. David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj, Bebe Rexha, Afrojack – “Hey Mama”

Guetta’s sixth studio LP Listen has a lot of heaters, and this collaboration with Nicki Minaj tries to recapture some of that megahit “Turn Me On” magic. In my opinion, it does an even better job. Minaj shines, as opposed to sounding like a quick Rihanna replacement. Afrojack helps turn Alan Lomax’s 1940s song “Rosie” into a Dutch house jam. Bebe Rexha, famous now for her collab with Martin Garrix on “In the Name of Love,” supplies the chorus, although she was originally not listed in the credits on radio. Record label execs thought three names was one too many for mainstream audiences to deal with. Hmph.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO59tfQ2TbA

10. David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj, Flo Rida – “Where Them Girls At”

This track opens 2011’s Nothing But the Beat, Guetta’s most pop-facing record of his career thus far. This is mainstream Guetta unbridled. This is Guetta working hard for that radio domination. Flo Rida is one of pop’s favorite rappers, having made a career off of dance-hop party anthems. Nicki Minaj has two collabs with Guetta on this album, this era being the peak of her pop crossover momentum. It’s a simple composition centered around bright synth chords with heavy emphasis on the vocals. The hook is undeniable. Indeed, “Where Them Girls At” is the rallying cry of every college party from the dawn of time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4kVWCSzfK4

9. David Guetta feat. Chris Willis – “People Come and Go”

This David Guetta song is a total disco-revival jam, featuring a killer topline from frequent Guetta collaborator Chris Willis, as well as production touches from another of Guetta’s favorite friends, Joachim Gaurrad. “People Come and Go” is a total classic from 2002’s debut Just a Little More Love. The guitar solo after the chorus might just be my favorite little part. This has some wonderful ’80s edge to it too. We recommend putting it on when you’re getting ready or pregaming. It puts some serious pep in your step and gives you that “this will be a magical evening” kind of feeling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtallP_A_HY

8. David Guetta  feat. Barbara Tucker – “Give Me Something (Deep in my Heart)”

This is old-school disco groove Guetta, definitely one of the best gems from his debut album Just a Little More Love, released in 2002. This is pretty forward-thinking for that year, and it’s retro-future vibes stand the test of time. I kind of miss this style in Guetta’s later offerings. I’d love to see Guetta get his ’70s funk disco band style back on. Barbara Tucker’s rich, booming voice is beautiful all over this. It’s that 4:25 mark that just takes us over the edge. And that strutting bass? More of this bass, please.

7. David Guetta feat. Chris Willis, Fergie, LMFAO – “Gettin’ Over You”

Is this a sonic snapshot of 2010, or what? We’ve got Chris Willis, duh, but the de facto voice of David Guetta is joined by Black Eyed Peas mama Fergie and EDM-crossover jokester gods LMFAO. Both of those features were radio royalty circa 2010, and they totally dominated in the arena of EDM-pop. This was the moment everyone decided tight neon pants and tanks with text were the only thing they wanted to wear. This is, like, the moment EDM became a hot commodity, and there’s still been no gettin’ over it. #Party

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWjrMTWXH28

6. David Guetta feat. Akon – “Sexy Bitch”

Yes, there is a video for this song, but it can’t be embedded for some reason, and anyway, no one wants to listen to the clean “Chick” version. We all know half of what makes this song so incredible is Akon’s insane lyrical content. I remember my friend and I laughing for collective hours over a mainstream pop song being like “I want to respect this girl, but she’s so hot, I just have to call her a sexy bitch.” This was Guetta’s first tune to crack the top five on the Billboard Hot 100, though it wouldn’t be his last. Akon actually approached Guetta about working together following the success of his Kelly Rowland collab. Guetta suggested they start immediately, so they booked a hotel in London and wrote this song in one night. It just goes to show, you should never put off for tomorrow what can be done tonight.

5. David Guetta with Fred Rister & Joachim Garraud feat. Chris Willis – “Love Is Gone”

This is a Guetta classic, a cut form 2007’s Pop Life, a huge step for Guetta in the album department. It’s full of filtered synth and electro vibe goodness, which was very en vogue in 2007. The radio edit, heard in the video below, is actually a remix of the original, included at the end of the album as a bonus cut, but this is the version that lives on in collective memory. Chris Willis is the perfect soulful house singer, belting out all the pain of a broken relationship, somehow turning it into a self-affirming message of strength and resilience. It’s very ’90s dance-all-night.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHTT__uvD2E

4. David Guetta feat. Usher – “Without You”

Nothing But the Beat might be Guetta’s best album. It had so many unforgettable classics, this jam featuring Usher being one of the best. Again, Usher provides the perfect sing-along hook over Guetta’s higher-than-higher synth melodies. There’s a hint of Discovery-era Daft Punk in those electric keys matched with the pounding four-on-the-floor. Hey, they’re both French, although “Without You” has more commercial sheen than anything the robots have produced. “Without You” is near-perfect summer radio material. It’s upbeat, it’s got star power, it’s soulful, it’s pop-driven. It’s not a song anyone can deny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUe8uoKdHao

3. David Guetta feat. Kid Cudi – “Memories”

Another jam from Guetta’s first international crossover success One Love. In 2009, if you put Kid Cudi on a dance song, you were almost guaranteed a club hit. There’s just something about his dark rasp that says “yes, you will party all night to this,” even when he’s being a little melancholy — which he is totally not here. The video is super goofy and wonderful. Naked chicks are “making” the video, instead of just appearing in it. The barber shop scene is definitely my fave. Those wacky barbers. I guess that’s all the “crazy shit” Cudi’s singing about. This tune is hipster-approved, which is a big thing for Guetta.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUVCQXMUVnI

2. David Guetta feat. Sia – “Titanium”

Somehow, this David Guetta song only peaked at No. 7 on the Hot 100. I distinctly remember everyone I knew belting out its chorus, regardless of how croaky their throaty cries came out. Sia is a vision on this track, a powerful force daring any detractor to step to this superwoman. The upward motion of the bridge is perfect house energy. Guetta is at his best on this tune, harnessing the brilliant energy of festival anthems while maintaining a nostalgic house club quality. It’s not even cheesy, although it could have been at any sonic turn. It’s pure dance magic, the kind of inspiring tune Rocky would train to if he were a young MMA fighter in 2011. Put this on when you need to be the very best.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRfuAukYTKg

1. David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland – “When Love Takes Over”

Fun fact: this song was co-written by Nervo. Yes, that piano riff sounds a lot like Coldplay’s “Clocks,” but we’ll just overlook that because we are too busy hitting the dance floor. I love David Guetta when he channels gay house anthems. This is one of those songs that forces you to smile like a slow-motion blast of glitter falling from the sky. All I see in my mind’s eye is sweaty skin gyrating in a crowd, arms lifted to the sky, couples making out. Kelly Rowland is a beast on this one, a single from 2009’s commercial crossover One Love, and in Billboard‘s opinion, one of the greatest dance pop crossover anthems of all time. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zudbz4hOcbc

Source: Billboard

http://tunecollective.com/2017/02/20/the-15-best-david-guetta-songs/

[tune-collective]

The 15 Best David Guetta Songs

The 15 Best David Guetta Songs

No matter how you feel about him, David Guetta is hugely responsible for dance music crossing over into the American mainstream. Would Calvin Harris ever be so big as he is today if Guetta hadn’t helped break down those radio barriers? Would The Chainsmokers be stealing the hearts of so many tween girls if it weren’t for early hits from Guetta and Nicki Minaj?

Guetta isn’t afraid to get cheesy, but a lot of that cheese is so gooey, it’s perfect. His willingness to work with artists across genre lines has brought hits with rappers, singer-songwriters and pop stars alike. As we await the first notes of his next single with Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne, we take a look back at 15 of his best songs to date, from the beginning of his career way before “EDM” in 2002, to today.

15. David Guetta feat. Rihanna – “Who’s That Chick” 

Before she was tapped as Calvin Harris’ favorite house-pop vocalist, Rihanna teamed up with David Guetta in the studio for this filtered-out dance floor hit. It wasn’t as huge as “We Found Love” or other Guetta productions from 2010’s One More Love, but it did chart as high as 51 on the Billboard Hot 100.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAc4zHEDd7o

14. David Guetta – “Atomic Food”

This is just one of the strangest songs we ever did hear. It’s kind of a classic among old-school Guetta fans, definitely tells you how not serious people were about their house music back in 2002. It was a time when anything was game, even listing off food items over a killer beat. Honestly, it’s a dope tune, and certainly one that, once you’ve heard it, you’ll never forget.

13. David Guetta feat. Emeli Sande – “What I Did For Love”

Scotland’s Emeli Sande has one of the most honest voices in the game. It’s easy to see why Guetta tapped her for what eventually became the third single from his sixth studio album, Listen. It’s a slow, strong build into the big release at the hook. You don’t need much else in the verses besides Sande’s vocal, but we still love the maximalism of that drop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fL5iWgWwno

12. David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj – “Turn Me On”

Not gonna lie, this song totally sounds like it was meant for Rihanna, and then Guetta couldn’t get Rihanna, so he just asked Nicki Minaj to play the part of the dance floor songstress. Guess it doesn’t matter, because this is one of the biggest hits of Guetta’s career so far. It peaked at No. 4 on the Hot 100 and stayed on that chart for 27 weeks. Who can forget the video, feautring Nicki Minaj as some kind of pleasure bot, coming to life mid-construction, singing from that weird metal skeleton mouth? That’s the stuff nightmares are made of.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVw7eJ0vGfM

11. David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj, Bebe Rexha, Afrojack – “Hey Mama”

Guetta’s sixth studio LP Listen has a lot of heaters, and this collaboration with Nicki Minaj tries to recapture some of that megahit “Turn Me On” magic. In my opinion, it does an even better job. Minaj shines, as opposed to sounding like a quick Rihanna replacement. Afrojack helps turn Alan Lomax’s 1940s song “Rosie” into a Dutch house jam. Bebe Rexha, famous now for her collab with Martin Garrix on “In the Name of Love,” supplies the chorus, although she was originally not listed in the credits on radio. Record label execs thought three names was one too many for mainstream audiences to deal with. Hmph.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO59tfQ2TbA

10. David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj, Flo Rida – “Where Them Girls At”

This track opens 2011’s Nothing But the Beat, Guetta’s most pop-facing record of his career thus far. This is mainstream Guetta unbridled. This is Guetta working hard for that radio domination. Flo Rida is one of pop’s favorite rappers, having made a career off of dance-hop party anthems. Nicki Minaj has two collabs with Guetta on this album, this era being the peak of her pop crossover momentum. It’s a simple composition centered around bright synth chords with heavy emphasis on the vocals. The hook is undeniable. Indeed, “Where Them Girls At” is the rallying cry of every college party from the dawn of time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4kVWCSzfK4

9. David Guetta feat. Chris Willis – “People Come and Go”

This is a total disco-revival jam, featuring a killer topline from frequent Guetta collaborator Chris Willis, as well as production touches from another of Guetta’s favorite friends, Joachim Gaurrad. “People Come and Go” is a total classic from 2002’s debut Just a Little More Love. The guitar solo after the chorus might just be my favorite little part. This has some wonderful ’80s edge to it too. We recommend putting it on when you’re getting ready or pregaming. It puts some serious pep in your step and gives you that “this will be a magical evening” kind of feeling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtallP_A_HY

8. David Guetta  feat. Barbara Tucker – “Give Me Something (Deep in my Heart)”

This is old-school disco groove Guetta, definitely one of the best gems from his debut album Just a Little More Love, released in 2002. This is pretty forward-thinking for that year, and it’s retro-future vibes stand the test of time. I kind of miss this style in Guetta’s later offerings. I’d love to see Guetta get his ’70s funk disco band style back on. Barbara Tucker’s rich, booming voice is beautiful all over this. It’s that 4:25 mark that just takes us over the edge. And that strutting bass? More of this bass, please.

7. David Guetta feat. Chris Willis, Fergie, LMFAO – “Gettin’ Over You”

Is this a sonic snapshot of 2010, or what? We’ve got Chris Willis, duh, but the de facto voice of David Guetta is joined by Black Eyed Peas mama Fergie and EDM-crossover jokester gods LMFAO. Both of those features were radio royalty circa 2010, and they totally dominated in the arena of EDM-pop. This was the moment everyone decided tight neon pants and tanks with text were the only thing they wanted to wear. This is, like, the moment EDM became a hot commodity, and there’s still been no gettin’ over it. #Party

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWjrMTWXH28

6. David Guetta feat. Akon – “Sexy Bitch”

Yes, there is a video for this song, but it can’t be embedded for some reason, and anyway, no one wants to listen to the clean “Chick” version. We all know half of what makes this song so incredible is Akon’s insane lyrical content. I remember my friend and I laughing for collective hours over a mainstream pop song being like “I want to respect this girl, but she’s so hot, I just have to call her a sexy bitch.” This was Guetta’s first tune to crack the top five on the Billboard Hot 100, though it wouldn’t be his last. Akon actually approached Guetta about working together following the success of his Kelly Rowland collab. Guetta suggested they start immediately, so they booked a hotel in London and wrote this song in one night. It just goes to show, you should never put off for tomorrow what can be done tonight.

5. David Guetta with Fred Rister & Joachim Garraud feat. Chris Willis – “Love Is Gone”

This is a Guetta classic, a cut form 2007’s Pop Life, a huge step for Guetta in the album department. It’s full of filtered synth and electro vibe goodness, which was very en vogue in 2007. The radio edit, heard in the video below, is actually a remix of the original, included at the end of the album as a bonus cut, but this is the version that lives on in collective memory. Chris Willis is the perfect soulful house singer, belting out all the pain of a broken relationship, somehow turning it into a self-affirming message of strength and resilience. It’s very ’90s dance-all-night.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHTT__uvD2E

4. David Guetta feat. Usher – “Without You”

Nothing But the Beat might be Guetta’s best album. It had so many unforgettable classics, this jam featuring Usher being one of the best. Again, Usher provides the perfect sing-along hook over Guetta’s higher-than-higher synth melodies. There’s a hint of Discovery-era Daft Punk in those electric keys matched with the pounding four-on-the-floor. Hey, they’re both French, although “Without You” has more commercial sheen than anything the robots have produced. “Without You” is near-perfect summer radio material. It’s upbeat, it’s got star power, it’s soulful, it’s pop-driven. It’s not a song anyone can deny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUe8uoKdHao

3. David Guetta feat. Kid Cudi – “Memories”

Another jam from Guetta’s first international crossover success One Love. In 2009, if you put Kid Cudi on a dance song, you were almost guaranteed a club hit. There’s just something about his dark rasp that says “yes, you will party all night to this,” even when he’s being a little melancholy — which he is totally not here. The video is super goofy and wonderful. Naked chicks are “making” the video, instead of just appearing in it. The barber shop scene is definitely my fave. Those wacky barbers. I guess that’s all the “crazy shit” Cudi’s singing about. This tune is hipster-approved, which is a big thing for Guetta.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUVCQXMUVnI

2. David Guetta feat. Sia – “Titanium”

Somehow, this song only peaked at No. 7 on the Hot 100. I distinctly remember everyone I knew belting out its chorus, regardless of how croaky their throaty cries came out. Sia is a vision on this track, a powerful force daring any detractor to step to this superwoman. The upward motion of the bridge is perfect house energy. Guetta is at his best on this tune, harnessing the brilliant energy of festival anthems while maintaining a nostalgic house club quality. It’s not even cheesy, although it could have been at any sonic turn. It’s pure dance magic, the kind of inspiring tune Rocky would train to if he were a young MMA fighter in 2011. Put this on when you need to be the very best.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRfuAukYTKg

1. David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland – “When Love Takes Over”

Fun fact: this song was co-written by Nervo. Yes, that piano riff sounds a lot like Coldplay’s “Clocks,” but we’ll just overlook that because we are too busy hitting the dance floor. I love David Guetta when he channels gay house anthems. This is one of those songs that forces you to smile like a slow-motion blast of glitter falling from the sky. All I see in my mind’s eye is sweaty skin gyrating in a crowd, arms lifted to the sky, couples making out. Kelly Rowland is a beast on this one, a single from 2009’s commercial crossover One Love, and in Billboard‘s opinion, one of the greatest dance pop crossover anthems of all time. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zudbz4hOcbc

Source: Billboard

http://tunecollective.com/2017/02/09/the-15-best-david-guetta-songs/