#turtlefreckle

[jayinserenity]

So, I did it again and got caught up thinking about some Wyrmclan cats, today's subject being Daisypaw who I have Feelings about and grieving is complicated when you're in his position so @wyrm-clangen pls feel free to let me know if I've totally missed the mark or anything but... yeah. I wrote another drabble.

“C’mooon Daisypaw, I haven’t gotten you sick? Why can’t I go see them???” Daisypaw rolled his eyes above the mask, careful not to let Ivyshine see as he sifted through the herbs in the carrier Ferretlily had given him to bring to the quarantine tunnels. Sparrowlight was wheezing a little as he laughed, and Daisypaw saw Wingpaw, settling into her nest carefully, smile a little at her uncle’s antics. 

“You haven’t gotten me sick because Ferret and I cleanse thoroughly every time we leave this den and we’re both relatively healthy. Raggedspeckle just gave birth and the kits were just born so they can’t fight off illness nearly as well.” He responded, refusing to play in to the older tom’s nonsense, but regretted his shortness a little as he heard Ivyshine flop back into his nest and saw the sickly warrior droop in genuine sadness. “Turtlefreckle will be watching over her, and Icyclaw has been sleeping outside the nursery every night. You focus on getting healthy so you can get back sooner.” Daisypaw sighed as he turned back, nudging the slender black warrior with the hard surface of his mask. He turned away again when Ivyshine’s wet eyes looked up at him, seeming like he was ramping up for another round of dramatics. 

“Don’t worry so much, Ivy, my littermates are watching out for her too!” Wingpaw mewed, her voice was hoarse from her coughing and while she was obviously trying to use her usual energetic nature to reassure, Daisypaw could tell the younger cat was exhausted. He made sure she took the lungwort and feverfew, hoping dosing her more heavily would help her fight off the yellowcough that had managed to sneak up on them. Thank Starclan none of her littermates or denmates had become ill as well. Between her and Sparrowlight, Ivyshine had been mollified, and Daisypaw gave the patients a final check before gathering up their supplies and slipping from the quarantine tunnel. 

He hadn’t been joking about the cleansing, Daisypaw entered the tunnel to the cold underground river with only a little dread. The water was frigid, and clung to his pelt worse than the sap that had gotten stuck in his fur when Rookrise took him to gather pine needles.

Daisypaw carefully ignored the pang of pain that thinking about Mom brought. She’d been looking for more feverfew with Rattail and Willowdew one day and then… none of them had come back. It had been the kits all over again, search parties scoured the territory for them, but no one knew where they’d gone. Daisy had been trying not to think too hard about it, Ferret had told him it wasn’t his fault they weren’t found. That him being on the search patrols probably wouldn’t have changed anything. 

It was easier said than believed. 

Daisypaw shook the water from his pelt, taking off his new clean mask and rinsing the inside before leaving it to dry next to Ferretlily’s own, and padded tiredly back up the tunnel towards the main cavern. The faint light from outside filtering down reassured him he hadn’t lost the entire day in the quarantine tunnel so he set off through the varying burrows searching for his mentor. 

Most of the apprentices were out training, he knew, the mentors had decided to keep everyone as busy as possible. Something about idle paws, Daisypaw didn’t really pay attention. The only one that really mattered was Bluepaw, to be honest. Turtlefreckle had been keeping Bluepaw extra busy, now that his own litter were apprentices, and Daisypaw knew his brother’s mentor was trying to keep his own mind off of the yellowcough outbreak as much as Bluepaw’s. He only saw the new apprentice, Goldpaw or whatever his name was, hanging out with Sunpaw and Midnightpaw. The two younger apprentices had been on dawn patrol that morning, so Daisypaw supposed it made sense that the three were here, talking about something or another over a rabbit and a shrew. Sunpaw gave him a small smile and waved his tail, but Daisypaw… well he couldn’t really bring himself to care as he passed the other young cats. He saw the brown apprentice’s tail flop back down from his periphery before he was into another set of tunnels, following the freshest hint of Ferretlily’s scent under everyone else’s. 

“... can’t keep pushing them this hard. The fact Wingpaw got sick so suddenly makes me wonder if she was too run down to fight the illness off.” He heard his mentor’s voice from the leader’s den, and settled himself to sit outside politely. “I know leaf bare has been harsh, but we can’t afford more of the healthier young cats getting sick.”

“You’re right. I’ll talk with the mentors later, see if we can set a better schedule.” Fiercechasm’s voice then. “Give them some rest time.”

“Thank you. I’ll try and do the same with Daisypaw, I’m worried he’ll run himself ragged.” Daisypaw frowned, flicking an ear in annoyance. Ferret was always fussing. “He’s not taking the time to process anything… sometimes I wish I had an excuse to send him out with the other apprentices, but with Rookrise gone I can’t spare him.” Daisypaw felt that annoyance fade a little at the guilt and tiredness if Ferretlily’s voice. He knew, objectively, he should be sadder than he was. Mom being missing. Mama and Panther dying last moon. But he just… didn’t. 

“Has he talked to Zuva?” Fiercechasm was asking, and that bit of annoyance was back. He didn’t need a mediator, besides, what was Zuva going to do? Bring his moms and sister back? This wasn’t something the old molly could fix like a spat over the last bass on the fresh kill pile. 

“No, and he gets irritated every time I ask.”

“Same with Bluepaw, Turtlefreckle has been trying, but now that Wingpaw is sick… I don’t want them to isolate more.” Daisypaw scoffed. Then realized both voices from the leader’s den had gone quiet. 

“... Daisy, I know you’re out there. Come on, we need to talk.” He sighed, but got to his paws and padded in to the den. Fiercechasm was looking a little uncomfortable, sitting to one side, but Ferret just looked tired. “Eavesdropping?”

“Was looking for you, figured I’d wait till you were done, didn’t really care about the conversation at first.” He muttered as he sat opposite her. Ferretlily didn’t hold the same intimidation factor his mother had, Hornetrise could make a rogue back down with a single look purely based on size alone, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little uncomfortable under Ferretlily’s assessing eye. She always seemed to see right through him. 

“... you know that’s part of why I’m worried, right?” Daisypaw nodded, feeling his ears droop a little without his permission. “I’m not mad at you, Daisy, but this not caring and only being around Bluepaw or me, it’s not healthy.” Daisypaw frowned. What did Ferretlily know? Did she lose both her parents and her only sister over the course of two moons? Daisypaw’s irritation sparked into anger.

“Who says it’s not? You? Fiercechasm? Zuva?” His tone wasn’t kind, and he saw the way Fiercechasm startled.

“Yes, yes, and yes. Daisypaw you aren’t the first cat to lose ones important to them.” Ferretlily started, her own irritation seeping in to his voice, and Daisypaw pinned his ears. 

“So they get to say how I should handle it?”

“No, but you can’t just pretend the rest of the clan doesn’t exist-”

“Are you giving Midnightpaw the same lecture? He’s only really hanging out with Sunpaw and the Heartclan reject-”

“Daisypaw!”

“Enough.” Fiercechasm didn’t snap, didn’t shout, but her voice cut through their argument just the same and Daisypaw felt a little shame at the disappointment in the deputy’s eyes. “Ferretlily, maybe you should go get some air.” The senior healer frowned at the younger cat, but nodded and left nonetheless, leaving Daisypaw with the silent deputy across the leader’s den from him.

“... I’m not going to go play moss ball with the kits and pretend everything is ok.” He muttered after a moment, scowling down and to the side to avoid looking at her.

“I know.”

“And I’m not gonna go cry and pretend it will make it better.”

“Because it won’t.” Daisypaw startled, then, looking up at Fiercechasm and seeing her expression soften. “Pretending everything is ok and wallowing in sadness won’t make it better. But neither will pretending you’re a loner in a camp full of clanmates who love you.” The two of them sat quietly for a bit, only the faint sounds of one of the patrols coming back breaking the heavy silence, before Daisypaw finally heaved a sigh and let his hackles drop.

“I don’t want it to hurt like that again.” He mewed, and it felt a little better to say it, and even better when Fiercechasm nodded in agreement. 

“I know. But holding everyone a taillength away won’t make it hurt any less when you lose one of them. I tried that, and it still hurt just as bad.” Daisypaw watched the deputy as she seemed to stare at something he couldn’t see, and wondered which of their lost clanmates she was remembering. 

“When Plum died, I shut down, didn’t want to be around anyone. Some days I could barely look at Sparrow and Swift knowing that they were all that was left of her, other days I clung to them like they were my last link to life… then Duskpaw was struck on the Thunderpath. And even though I thought I’d given up on opening my heart to the rest of the clan, losing her was like prodding an open wound. Watching Rattail and his kits mourn, then watching them do it all over again when we lost Seed to the twolegs the next moon? I realized that hiding away and pretending I didn’t care wasn’t protecting my heart. It was just hurting the ones I cared about.” Fiercechasm looked back at him, and Daisypaw was surprised to see her smile, even if it was tinged with sadness. “I know how tempting it is to hide away and pretend you don’t care. But there are cats who care about you. I know Swish has been worried, he can take Bluepaw on patrol when Turtle lets him, but you’re hidden away in the quarantine tunnel… Maybe start there?” Daisypaw felt another wave of guilt. He knew their older brother had been hurt too, but he’d assumed since Swishbeam was with Eddymist he wouldn’t care. Knowing that Swish had been trying… a little bit of warmth seeped back into his chest at that. 

“... Thanks Fierce. And sorry for yelling.”

“If you need to yell and be mad, that’s ok Daisypaw, but know that your clanmates are here for you. If you want to be mad or get out of the burrows for a bit to do something that isn’t looking for herbs, just ask.” Daisypaw nodded and gave a weak smile as he slunk out of the den, noting Riftstar standing further from the den in a way that told him the leader had heard, but wanted to give them privacy. He turned a little to give Daisypaw that gentle smile he always did before heading in to talk to Fiercechasm.

“Daisypaw?” He startled a little, looking up at Sunpaw as he approached. Midnightpaw and Goldenpaw were still near the apprentice’s den, but the quiet brown apprentice was looking at him in worry. “I know it’s kind of silly to ask if you’re ok, because I know I’m still not okay about Mom, Heron and Burdock, but… do you want to come sit with us? Goldenpaw was telling us some Heartclan stories, and you always told really good stories when you would watch me in the quarantine tunnel.” Daisypaw blinked, a little surprised, looked between Sunpaw and the other two apprentices watching them before that bit of warmth he’d felt talking to Fiercechasm came back. He didn’t fight the little smile that came to him as he nodded, seeing Sunpaw’s expression light up before they went to join the other two apprentices. He told himself he’d swap stories until Bluepaw got home. But by the time his brother joined them, not only was he in the midst of telling the younger apprentices about the time Ferretlily had started an argument with Agavepelt of Nightingaleclan in the middle of a Gathering that had led to a three-clan screeching match and ended the Gathering early. 

“Good to see you out of the tunnels, Daisy.” Bluepaw mewed, tucking up next to him and giving his own tired smile. Bluepaw didn’t sleep well these days, dreams filling with howls and snarls where Daisypaw’s were haunted by coughing and gasping, but with the rest of the apprentices settling around them, Daisypaw wondered if maybe, just maybe, they’d be okay. It wasn’t okay now, but it might be, someday. 

[wyrm-clangen]

Thank you. I'm sorry. I love you. Good-bye, king.

Prev | Next

[wyrm-clangen]

Prev | Next

Meanwhile, in the quarantine den:

Ivyshine climbing the walls: :^^: MY WIFE I WANT TO SEE MY WIFEEEEEEEEEEE PLEASE ;^^^^^;

Daisypaw, swatting him down with a broom handle: GO THE FUCK BACK TO SLEEP

[wyrm-clangen]

Prev | Next

OKAY, so MAYBE Turtlefreckle was actually talking to the clan therapist about his illegal affair.

Not me, being emotional about how they're all blue-gray like their grandpa Rainstripe. :__:

[wyrm-clangen]

Prev | Next

Pantherkit: Hey, mama, what's existential dread?

[wyrm-clangen]

also. do Fogtail's babs have any particular thoughts to share about their mother's exile? murder confession aside, i think neither of them particularly liked/tolerated Frozentangle. but either way, their stance?

Okay so, like, I meant to do this as an in-character response, with art, but I have forgotten how to draw cats from irl stress lmao so verbal it is!!!

Raggedspeckle hates her mother. Yes, she hated Frozentangle too. But Frozentangle didn't deserve to be murdered over some childish taunting. Fogtail was twice Frozentangle's age, twice her size and the deputy. There's no justification there for her. But what's worse is that, during her trial? Fogtail said that she did it for them, and all Raggedspeckle can think about is the way that her mother never really seemed to look at them after they got older, how she pulled further and further away. One word answers and empty eyes. The exile makes no difference to her, it's not like Fogtail was there before.

-

Turtlefreckle is numb. Under that, guilt is eating him alive. He can't help but wonder if he had tried harder to reach out to his mom if something would have been different, but he tried. He tried so hard to help her, to be there for her, but every attempt went unappreciated and unanswered. He wishes that she would've just talked to him, or if not him, someone, anyone else. No one should've had to die. He loves his mom, but he thinks that he might hate her a little bit too.

Under the guilt, there's nothing but anger.

[wyrm-clangen]

AND IT'S A TRIUMPHANT RETURN WITH A STEEL CHAIR????

-Raggedspeckle actually graduated last moon, but she absolutely strong armed Riftstar into allowing her to graduate with her little brother.

-Marcy won three moons with no dawn patrols!

Prev | Next

[wyrm-clangen]

Long time no see. Part 2 coming later today or tomorrow. :)

Prev | Next

[wyrm-clangen]

I know I'm a day late but who's the most likely to Ides of March?

If Raggedspeckle ever had a reason, it would absolutely be her.

[jayinserenity]

So, @wyrm-clangen's recent moons have been living rent free in my head, and as the #1 Seedgorse fan I needed to write something about him in all of the recent sadness. So Wyrm, here's that thing I asked for notes for.

Seedgorse woke slowly, he'd finally managed to doze off for a bit once he'd gotten Stemkit to stop fussing and sleep. He was grateful, once again, for their clan's tunnels and the ability to keep everyone warm throughout the harshness of leaf bare. Rainmask and his patrol had come back from the last patrol reporting storm clouds moving in fast. Riftstar had set the healthy warriors to work preparing for a possible blizzard, those who weren't already working on the quarantine tunnel. 

Shifting in his nest slowly, he blinked his eyes open and tried his best to avoid waking the ball of kits curled against him. As he blinked the sleep from his eyes he felt a fond smile blooming on his face as he looked down at his litter. Little Owlkit, his quietest, was snuggled up with Larchkit, her sister's muzzle pressed tight into Owlkit's neck fur while Stemkit had wrapped herself around Larchkit, tucked between his tail and her sister's back. 

Wait

Seedgorse bolted upright, suddenly fully awake, not concerned with how Stemkit woke with an upset mewl and the whole litter was suddenly in an uproar, waking Marcy, Turtlefreckle and several of their kits. But none of that mattered because Where was Timberkit?

“Seedgorse? Honey you look terrified what’s wrong?” Marcy’s voice was still creaky with sleep as she tried to fully come to wakefulness. Turtlefreckle turned from his own litter at her words, and Seedgorse met his gaze and saw a spark of his own fear in them.

“Timberkit isn’t here.” 

“Neither is Pricklekit.” He stood then, brushing his tail over his daughters comfortingly as he moved from their nest. Behind him he heard the older kits fussing.

“Oh stars where are Heron or Burdock!” Marcy bolted out of her nest, her and Nightkits’ voices joining the cacophony but Seedgorse was out of the tunnel then. The commotion had alerted Swiftstream on guard duty.

“Problem?”

“Some of the kits are missing- my daughter is missing-” The younger warrior’s hackles raised and the tom was moving in an instant, bolting into the warriors den to wake the rest of the clan. Within heartbeats Riftstar was in the main den organizing search patrols. Wheatpaw and the other healthy apprentices were already scouring every nook and gap they could find in the tunnels, searching for any hiding spot. Daisypaw, mask in place, was standing at the edge of the quarantine tunnel talking to a harrowed looking Fiercechasm, relaying to the rest of the ill cats to check their tunnel thoroughly. Turtlefreckle and Marcy had the kits gathered, asking them if they’d seen where their sisters had gone, or knew anything. Any possible answer for what could be happening. He couldn’t believe it, he’d only fallen asleep once the whole litter had been sleeping. Timberkit had been sound asleep-

“Seedgorse.” He startled from his… he wasn’t sure what to call it, a daze? Shock? Whatever it was, Riftstar’s voice was gentle, and his eyes held worry as he looked at Seedgorse. “The search patrols are getting ready to go out. Fogtail, Marcy, Fidgetpaw, Icypaw and Rookrise are watching the kits, Fidgetpaw will keep them busy and you know the others would rather die than lose another. Do you want to stay and watch them or-”

“I need to find her.” Riftstar didn’t look surprised, merely nodded solemnly and lead the way to the exit tunnel. Stepping out into the storm that had descended, Seedgorse saw his littermates, Frostprance and Sprucepaw waiting for them and several rapidly disappearing trails of pawprints. Riftstar didn’t need to give the order for the patrol to fan out. They paired up and the pairs stayed withing sight or sound of one another as they started to search. 

Heartbeats turned to minutes, turned to hours as Seedgorse and Riftstar searched. Silent but for an occasional call for any of the missing kits. He could faintly hear Bea and Water doing the same. But with every passing moment the dread wrapping around his heart tightened further and further. The weather was getting worse, the light sprinkle of snow merging with a driving freezing rain as a proper blizzard threatened to envelope the patrol, Star the territory, entirely. 

But the dark had descended on them, Riftstar called a halt, gathering the patrol in a copse of pines near the edge of the Twolegplace. Seedgorse’s entire body was on alert being so close to the creatures again, and he fought every hair on his pelt not to think about his poor little Timberkit being in one of those metal nests. Having those hairless paws on his baby.

“We need to return to camp.” Riftstar’s voice was raw when the patrol finally all gathered, and Seedgorse whipped around on the older tom in fury.

“What?!”

“Seedgorse-” He faintly heard Beaverfleck mew behind him but he was already looming over Riftstar. The elderly leader didn’t rise from where he sat, merely watched as Seedgorse stalked closer.

“Are you suggesting we just, what, go home? Snuggle back up in our warm nests while our kits are out here freezing to death?!” He snarled, feeling the start of tears prickling at the edge of his eyes and trying to harness the rage to avoid the desperate fear trying to overwhelm him. But then Riftstar looked up and met his eyes, and that rage was replaced by surprise at the sheer hopelessness in his leader’s eyes. Since he was a kit Riftstar had always had hope. Even when he spoke of his lost mate, he hadn’t seemed this helpless. 

“Seed, please.” Frostprance’s voice was soft when she broke the silence, he faintly noticed Riftstar turning away, hiding the tears in his own eyes, as he turned back to the rest of the patrol. Beaverfleck’s tears were visible, ready to fall, looking like she couldn’t figure out if she should go to him or not. Waterstep, while not crying like their sister, was visibly devastated, and that same helplessness he saw in Riftstar was reflected in his brother. Frostprance, their sister in all but blood, was sitting, her tail wrapped close around a shivering Sprucepaw, and while she looked calmer than any of them, it wasn’t hard to see past it to the heartbreak. Sprucepaw looked terrified, shivering from the cold as well as the fear as he tucked closer to the warrior. 

“Seed, we won’t find her like this. I’m so sorry.” Frostprance’s words were gentle, but it was the final stone removed from the pile. All of the emotions he’d been trying to mask with rage tumbled through Seedgorse and the tears started to fall. He felt himself start to sob as his siblings, his leader, and Sprucepaw clustered around him. They’d return to camp later, and Seedgorse would have to explain to his remaining daughters that he didn’t know where their sister was, didn’t know if they’d ever see her again. But for this moment, all he could do was lean into his brother, tuck his face into Beaverfleck’s fluffy neck fur, damp with her own tears, and let Frostprance and Riftstar gently groom him as he let the utter and complete devastation wash through him. 

[wyrm-clangen]

🐱 Gimme some cat facts

Okay! A short one since I'm at work!

Swallowpaw, Turtlefreckle's son, is selectively mute and primarily communicates through clan-sign. Or through his siblings, who always seem to have an uncanny idea of how he's feeling.

It does make interacting with the other apprentices a little difficult at times, especially if he wants to talk but can't. It's incredibly frustrating for Swallowpaw, and that's part of why Riftstar decided to take him on as an apprentice, because he's a patient, chill old guy lol

[wyrm-clangen]

Wait if he's involved in their mentors as well. Has he spoken to fog about any thing. I'm curious if he gets a bad feeling around her.

Oh, I feel like Rat was suspicious about the murder. It just felt a little too convenient to him, the timing of the fight and just how weird Fogtail has been lately.

Rattail almost considered saying something after Duskpaw died. He knows that Raggedspeckle also has suspicions, he's seen the way she looks at her mother. Turtlefreckle, too, even if he seems to be ignoring it. They don't have any concrete though, and Starclan knows that Riftstar trusts Fog too much to ever believe them without it. Regardless of how rocky the mollies' relationship was.

He definitely wouldn't wanna say anything to Ferretlily. She's been through enough. So for now, he's just kind of keeping his head down, and hoping that Frozentangle and Duskpaw will forgive him for it.

[wyrm-clangen]

🐈 I wanna know more about the kitty cats

🐈 - Like when Rainstripe died and Fogtail was too distraught to care for Turtlefreckle and Raggedspeckle, the clan immediately mobilized into action after Plumneedle passed away. There's always a cat checking on Fiercechasm and the kits in the nursery, making sure she's doing okay, if she wants company, making sure that she's eaten.

Turtlefreckle and Marcy sit with the kits if Fiercechasm needs a break, and Eddymist immediately offered to help by nursing them since Fierce couldn't.

[wyrm-clangen]

Did anyone adopt those orphaned babies... Who named them?

No, they're going to be community raised for the sake of the gene pool lol

As for who named them, it was Turtlefreckle!