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otomesiren · 2 years ago

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FFXIV PSA: Beware of Narseth D’havi on Seraph/Dynamis and Moogle/Chaos

Beware of Narseth D'havi on FFXIV (lodestone is linked). He puts up a nice front, but behind that is a toxic, manipulative, and gaslighting liar.

He has emotionally hurt me to the point where I couldn't go to sleep, had a nightmare that was very graphic, couldn't eat, cost me out of $500+ for a job I couldn't complete due to my mood dropping due to the constant messaging of how his "day was ruined", could barely talk about this entire thing that he told me about before caving in to tell my close friend, boyfriend, and outside friends who didn't play the game. I was expected to keep what he told me to myself. He had tried to make me promise to not tell my friends when that is nigh impossible for me.

This was too much for me to read and listen to from him. I'm not a therapist. I am not trained in this nor do I pretend to be one. What he did was load upon load of what he claimed happened (even breaking his own promise to not MENTION IT when i told him to refrain) to the point where I was emotionally drained and triggered, both from past experiences, but this was far worse.

Expecting the average person to contain all this when they're not qualified to handle such immense emotional reactions and then blame them for taking action like I did is wrong and ridiculous. I was treated like utter shit and a fool by him.

Hello, I hardly go on here but this has been on my mind to post a beware of him since March of this year. He frequents Twitter and I’m not going to post this over there since I don’t feel safe on there as I do here. More so now thanks to El*n’s bullshit. Plus this post is 24 pages long. I don’t have that patience to slice it up. The goal of this is to get this out is to warn people to stay the fuck away from this abusive piece of shit. This post may upset someone or more and to them I say this: I've been dragged into this and then treated as if i have no fucking right or say about it especially if said ex friend is an abusive bastard who just wants to get his cake and eat it too and then complains about it worse than what I see in retail of how it's not how it's made to his liking, how he wasn't catered to, it's by the book manipulation and gaslighting and overall abusive.

I did my best remembering and searching what I could in Discord since some did happen in game. Some proof is below at the very end. I’m not going to show all since it’s not needed and most of the story is not mine to tell nor show. My POV is what he spoke to me about and one part that shows his true colors without me there. That. Is. It. I'm not going to search through more in Discord since I would have to unblock him to jump to his messages or try to remember what I said 5+ months ago and then scroll in hopes to see what I’m looking for or spend x mount of hours trying to find it.

This post is edited as much as I can with the help of two very close friends of mine. I didn’t get time to ask those who doesn’t know the story to have a complete outsider view (I don’t know how else to explain that). In case you didn’t get the gist from above, this is a very heavy long post that has subjects of the following mentioned:

gaslighting

manipulation

disturbing nightmare with violence is mentioned and summarized (my own nightmare after a year of not having one)

mention of panic attacks/anxiety

immense anger (lots of cussing, it’s how I unleash the emotion and I damn well deserve to unleash it after all the shit he put me through. I know people can be affected by this since one of my dear friends has it)

pet passing (my own)

If I missed one, I’m sorry. I finally felt ready to post this tonight and the sooner it’s out there, the better it is to warn others about him.

His character/guild/twitter/discord accounts His main’s lodestone: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/42388617/ His new main: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/49016648/ as of August 17th 2024. His alts: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/47595294/ https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/47594784/ His “alleged” alt: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/character/29042799/ His FC/guild: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/freecompany/9280370719638690199/ His twitter accounts: https://twitter.com/NarsethXIV (deleted) https://twitter.com/DarKye (protected) Discord: narseth, ID is 617822537040003092 (used to be DarKye, I don’t remember the numbers that Discord used to have after usernames)

For some backstory: I met him on PWI in 2009ish along with others when I joined the guild, Aesthetic. We only played dungeons and did guild events. We fell out of touch but added our guildees to FB and then Steam since it was all the rage then. Throughout the years, we haven't spoken to each other (the rest of the guildees I have lost completely out of contact) as the years went by. Sometime early 2022 I think, I get in touch with him again after I noticed he was playing FFXIV on Steam. I just recently got back into it at the time and have caught up to the expansion pack and told him, “hey let's meet in game”. So we did. He was in another server and we hung out at the time. We also added each other on Discord, his user on there was DarKye (his typical username in games and other places) before he changed it recently to narseth with Discord's questionable change of usernames.

We went to our first venue together sometime in July 2022 when we saw some ads in shout chat. I found to have loved it, and he did too for a while. We found out twitch djs were a thing and I got a very much needed break from work for three to four days, almost a week, and found out by staying up to the ungodly wee hours that hard bass made me relax and chill out before bed when years ago, I had found it to be uncomfortable to listen to. I could finally get some sleep that came easily to me for once. After that break I had from work, he told me he couldn't keep going for a few days due to work. That didn’t bother me at all, he had to get up early and I understood since he was hours ahead of me in South America. I was terrified at first going by myself, but it's a good thing I did.

As I went by myself from mid July to August (i did still invited him to come with, but he said no a few times but he did come to one when I told him how awesome it was with the skill/light show), I met six new friends whom I got along great with and dragged my fc leader/close friend into it too since she was curious about it herself. August was something special, on the 15th I met my boyfriend of 11 months now, I'll name him T, and we hit it off immediately. We stayed up till 5am in the morning despite both of us having work the next day. During this, I barely messaged Narseth on discord, while in game he was silent or messaged in fc here and there but hardly on Discord except when he wanted to share something. I soon found out that he felt like a bother and that led to him not messaging me since he was doing his MSQ. I was already done with mine but I had told him before many times to always send me a msg to fan about it. Even when I brought up I was always on Discord - I practically live on it, he said he felt like a bother. Keep this in mind.

Once Aug 30th hit, I asked out T and he said yes. I kept hanging out with my new friends, old friend, and T as we went to venues. I had since given up trying to invite Narseth with us. There was a time where I saw him much after in the year at a venue but

It wasn't until sometime in October that I found out Narseth was interested in someone in game. He wouldn't tell me who yet but he sounded happy. He told me that he knew how fast it was being since it was just two weeks, just like mine was, so i didn't think much about it until that day in November when I met his intended. One he didn’t even wait to introduce me when i told him and warned him i would give him so much shit (teasing, mind you) that he didn’t even introduce me before he proposed to her in game. Keep the teasing in mind too.

When I met her with my friend and T, we behaved like we always did. I soon found out much much later that night that he was very upset by it. He told me that I was too harsh with my teasing [in front of her] and got mad about the three of us teasing him to me ONLY, in DMs on discord. (He also admitted that he felt good to pay me back when one of his friends refused to call me my correct name in game vs my nickname that friend of his gave me. That was the first red flag I should’ve fucking noticed.) But the reality was that he didn't want to look "foolish" in front of the one he lied about. In turn, he turned the blame completely unto me: how I hadn’t hung out with him despite me trying to make conversation with him. I told him the very same that even if I do msg him, he barely messages back or even forgets. Latter I understood, but it was why I didn't even hang out or talk with him anymore. He didn't seem to be interested in talking to me at all or do anything but focus on his intended whom he greatly replied to very fast to is what I was told.

The way he typed to me in Discord during that conversation was very condescending and rude. He treated me like I did nothing or put any effort to hang out or do anything with him when I did, in fact, tried to include him, tried to talk - practically everything. He acted like he didn’t know me and he didn’t at ALL now that I look back on it. It felt utterly wrong to be spoken to in this way, text or not. My fear of confrontation and hurting a friend when really it was ME being hurt not him, caused a very bad panic attack: I felt a sick sensation in my stomach. I hadn’t had one this bad since starting college years ago. It freaked me out, shooting my anxiety to where I couldn't eat for days. I could barely sleep. For three to four days. I missed out on work but this was just the beginning of these attacks. I never mentioned this attack to him at all but it was bad to the point I couldn't focus on anything and I cried. A fuck ton. I hold my friends in high regards and making them upset makes me feel bad, but never to this degree that sent me shaking and had bile in my throat to the point where I felt like I was wrong. When in fact, I wasn’t. I was being manipulated and gaslighted to the point of bending to his way and will of how a friend of his should act. I had merely been myself as I always was, and suddenly, somehow, in front of her, it wasn’t ok to tease him like how I usually did. My body knew subconsciously that what he did was emotional abuse and it was the start of feeling this “friendship” wasn’t really one since then. I felt like walking on eggshells each time since I promised I wouldn't tease him after that. Which I upheld but without that, it wasn’t me. My bf and close friends also found it very strange when I told them what had happened.

If only I fucking knew what came next in December.

December, a week or so before the holidays, i found him fcless (guildless). He was upset. He told me why and I wished he didn't when I asked. This was the beginning of many and I do mean many of "she did this and this" and at the start, I was concerned. I was concerned throughout until I found out the truth. Who the fuck wouldn’t be? But I digress. He told me to never bring it up to what he told me that day to her. I promised not to. He also tried to make me promise that I couldn't tell my friend in game but that is literally impossible. I already began to. More so when the same thing weeks after weeks of him being a sack of shit when really he painted her as the one. On the 18th, it affected me so greatly that i had a nightmare for the first time in a long time. This nightmare was graphic and disturbing. I told him about it after he said he would like to hear it after I warned him it was bad. I also shared it to my bf and my friend. DETAILS OF THE DREAM AHEAD, skip to the next paragraph that has “ ****** Christmas”. The dream was a man was attacking a woman and i could hear the woman screaming. Blood was on the floor as each attack took place. Each attack was a stab as a knife and I could hear.

****** Christmas came. I had a Secret Santa ready for my friend group and I was participating in the one I joined that he refrained from inviting me until I pointed it out in game. Needless to say, he ruined Christmas for me. At the time though, I thought it was for a friend who needed help/advice and yet, it was just the start. At first, he told me vaguely about why he was upset and then told me he missed my birthday party in game held at my bf’s friend’s venue due to something coming up. I’m not going to say what exactly, but he told me what had happened and it made sense why he couldn’t make it. I understood and told him not to worry about it since there was always the next time.

New Years came, they “fought”/”argued” (his words) again and he swore he was done this time. Ha. I saw gposes(group photos) of the two all lovey dovey in a server I was in with them. This, I think, was the start of my many serious reactions of her being brought up again and again. More so that he would rather stay with the woman he painted as toxic when he knew I had experience with an ex that supposedly did the same thing he painted of her doing to him. It just made no sense the more as it went on and every time it happened, I wanted to message her to tell her to let go. I threatened to cut him off since here I was, being told something else and then he went and post those gposes as if everything was ok? It just didn’t line up, and it affected me greatly since i had exp with an ex that said nice sweet words, and everything he was claiming she was doing: flirting, crossing boundaries to name a few. It was making me shake in anger and wanting to msg her and when i mentioned it one time, he said don't. When I got too angry about her, he didn't like it. He told me to stop or calm down whenever I did. Plus, he kept saying “You don’t have the full story” over and over again.

On the 12th of January, Narseth and I had a vc (voice cat). I'm not sure if this is the one I was emotional in since we had just two about her. I wish i never did vc with him, he sounded like he really just didn’t give a fuck what I said despite a very serious convo much later that he “valued” what i said. He had told me that vcing is easier too, though to me it was just to hide it. He kept giving her excuses despite telling me the bloody opposite that he’s done when he told her that he wasn’t letting go. Over and over like a damn broken record. It caused me to get even more upset when i was already emotional on the vc. He didn’t care a single cent that I was not in the mental capacity to do this and yet, he had called me on Discord. I had already shared my experience from an ex already and he wanted me in vc? When it was obvious that I would be affected by it?

What was i thinking, is what i ask myself in the past and probably some whom are reading. And the answer is simple: He was a friend. Friends I try to be there for them. Plus, I “knew” how he felt in this picture that he painted that turned out to be a lie. I thought he needed help even if it was harsh at times because i knew it was going to hurt.

We had another serious talk. It felt like he didn’t want to talk about it and my guess was right. He was too tired so I waited for the morning barely getting any sleep. It had affected me again, as it always does. This time, our talk was way worse. When I asked him if we could, he said “Would it be productive?” (turns out to be his favorite fucking word after “listen”). I told him flat out i didn’t know and he explained how it was going good, that “we’re doing better”. That they were fine. I felt...relieved, now knowing it was okay, but also some part of me wondered “Is this really ok?”

On Feb 8th, my cat, Benny, started to not eat. I took him to the vet with my dad the next day since he had a history of having hard stools in his later years. He sadly passed away on Feb 13th due to kidney failure after I tried to syringe feed him. He had been in the worst shape. I also heard him dying the day he died. My friend who had worked in the field told me that by the time we hear the noises, they’re already gone. I was shaken up. I could barely eat. Sleep. I cried on and off. I never felt so upset as I did when my precious boy passed. I took off work f grieve since I was in no way mentally capable of going in and dealing with anyone. I was crying at the drop of a hat. He was my precious boy. I heard his last moments in my bathroom when he woke me up. It still makes me cry to this day. And Narseth knew most of this and yet, he still brought her up again not even a week AFTER or to even wait few more weeks so i could mourn. I was not, in any good mental state, to hear any of what he had to say about her that racked up my anger, made me lose sleep, and just outright being affected by it. Only this time, I felt numb since i was grieving. I was exhausted. I was tired. I brushed it off to him with “I’m taking you to the spa" in a halfhearted joke.

When I got my house on the 20th of Jan in game of ffxiv (after the housing was now lottery), he told me I would have to tolerate her since she would be building with him. I said no promises. He showed me a screen of them two crafting after i showed him one of mine and my bf crafting. For once, i had no reaction but it wasn't until later that day when he brought her up again that it upset me again. And again another day. It was building and building and finally, I had enough.

It was the 25th of Feb when a friend showed me that they were in game and showed me a screenshot of Narseth in the same location with the very one he claimed he was “done with”. This was after he said to me that he would talk with her to end it days ago after calling it toxic to the billionth fucking time at this point.

I messaged (sent a tell/whisper/private message) him in game and asked him what the fuck was he doing. He said they were fine. I said he told me he was done that night. I was livid. I logged out and then I then messaged him on Discord after, telling him he was being pathetic. He told me to stop. I refused. I was done. I meant what I said that since he wouldn’t cut her off, I would cut him off. I sent a message to her right after on Discord, telling her to get away from him. When she didn’t reply, i messaged him on twitter showing what i sent to her. I knew he would be mad, and didn’t care at this point. My gut was right however that something was off. He showed it to her on her alt discord and she reactivated her account on discord and told/showed me what really happened. I showed him on twitter after asking if it was ok from her to post the screenshot to him and she said yes. He gaslit me immediately after, telling me to go “read the logs” and “you don’t have the full story” when he had every chance to do so and wouldn’t. Meanwhile, I was shown screenshot after screenshot what really happened. Again, I will not say what was in those other screenshots, but the one I do share in this post from her is the key part where I saw his true colors of a liar.

All my patience was gone at this point. I was livid. I cussed him out after everything i went through. All for this called “FRIEND” of mine after I stayed up, could barely eat, listened to his rants, went on fucking vc when i wasn’t in the right mental capacity to deal with it after work, had a nightmare that disturbed me immensely, lost a freelance job of over $500+ that I had to refund after many pushbacks the client was upset despite being very patient. I had to refund this client of mine with three of my paychecks and my tax refund. All of that FOR HIM and he LIED TO ME.

The true colors of him finally came out: He said he never wanted my help that he wanted a place to RANT without judgement (when he didn’t even think that he fucking LIED to me? That’s not ranting you piece of shit) , that i could THINK he was an asshole.

What was funny, was that Twitter didn't even let me see his messages to me until after i told him he fucking lied to me AND i was shown he talked shit about me behind my back (and yes, I have proof of this happening)- How I was projecting my own exp onto this. Despite him linking narcissist videos on youtubes to me. This is so absolutely fucked up. Here he was, acting like he did no wrong and treating me like an idiot and then he tried to put it on me. No. That’s not how this works :)

Narseth is the one who dragged me into this, told me things that I really shouldn’t fucking know throughout, and then blamed me for stepping in as anyone would when something didn’t add up. I did everything I could as a friend could be. I tried to be patient and that didn’t work. I tried to tell him what was what, and that didn’t work. In the end, I found out the truth. He tried to place the blame all on me and then he ran like a coward: left his guild/fc and transferred to another server from Faerie to Seraph.

Proof Below

As a reminder: I’m only posting some. This is MY side and pov of how he treated me and spoke to me about his lies. I will not show anymore. It's difficult to search in Discord when you have someone blocked and I will have to scroll through months of who said what. I have these screenshots thanks to sharing with close friends at the time when the truth came to light of his lies.

Image below that I have him blocked on my discord with others being covered with black.

(he has me blocked, so it doesn’t show his info such as having nitro or his old username as it would below from https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/12620128861463-New-Usernames-Display-Names in the “A New Profile Badge For Old Usernames” area)

Below is proof of the video he linked painting his narrative again about her when really it’s him. I took these in February after I found out the other side of the story. At that time, he claimed that he was quitting back in March (which is when I took this to show close friends) and had taken off all pics on his discord (icon and header on profile) so that’s why you see it different.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tjbm7h8XMm4 is the video linked below.

below is him after linking the above video. yes, that text in red is my edit when i showed someone about it: that he kept on repeating this “being a good partner” before this. Note what day this is: Christmas Day.

Below is proof of some of the conversation on discord after i blocked him in game. This was when I remembered “this is okay, she’s doing the things I want”. Everything was churning inside me: how this was going, how upset he was, but also how it triggered my past experience. I called him pathetic and I didn’t care how he would take it. He told me stop, as he usually did when I got angry and he didn’t like it. H's no stranger to that. This time though, I refused.

I took these earlier this year before he changed his discord user with the discord update to show my close friends. I'm the person that vents mainly to myself but when it's too much, I have close friends that we just get each other and know we need to let out steam.

I have taken out the bottom part since it mentions his age and real name.

Some context is missing in the next screenshot below showcasing my twitter messages because it’s NOT my story to tell.. This is how he emotionally abused and lied to me to the point I thought he was being an idiot [and he was, just in another way]. Keep in mind he was LYING all this fucking time. If you think it’s harsh, it’s meant to be.

He deserved every word from my mouth hiding it for three fucking months and costed me work and affected my mental health. I was done, I was tired of his constant complaining, the whining every time he was upset, mad, sad, said he was done, no romance to be found, he’ll block her soon, she was [and he] was toxic, she didn’t do things for him, blah blah fucking blah. Vent after loaded fucking vent that was the same song, same dance every two weeks or even one week. Then all seemed to be well. Then rinse and fucking REPEAT over and over and over again. Week after week or every other week. So yes, I was harsh and angry as anyone WOULD in my shoes.

This was the time I finally said fuck it and sent messages to the person whom he claimed was toxic and found out their side of the story. They were not civil either and I will not be sharing it here since it was based on his lies.

For the image below, I suggest reading the other pic below it first to get context, but this is what he says in that screenshot that sent me into a cussing frenzy “she’s projecting her own shit”.

Bigger pic of the screenshot below, which felt like a punch in the gut. This was when I didn’t recognize who he was and felt sick reading it. I was angry at the same time finding all of this out and I felt fucking good letting him have it.

The red is covering the one whom he is talking to which he knows already was shared with me since i sent him this on Twitter.

As you can see above, Twitter didn’t load any of his messgaes until after I blocked him (which is why I kept cussing him out) so here are two pictures of what he said afterward when Twitter decided to load them.