#u don't HATE their partner explicitly

[inkskinned]

she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

[radio-writes]

Hi, will u do a human alastor x side mistress reader, so basically he has a wife, but he doesn't really love her, so when he's on the air he has sex with his side mistress in the radio tower. His side mistress knows he's a serial killer, by the way. You don't have to do this if u don't want to. I love ur fics.

By the Gold Ring on His Hand

Synopsis: He loved you and only you. You were his to cherish, to adore, to worship. Sweet words he whispered softy, promisingly, into your ear. Sweet words he also whispered softly to his wife.

Warnings: smut, oral (m receiving), mentions of murder, heavy manipulation, cheating

Tags: human!alastor, alastor x reader, gn!reader, reader is the other wo/man

MDNI

You've always revered Alastor.

You were entranced by the way his smile never broke. The way he seemed to take control of any situation he was put in. The he always managed to just charm the socks off of anyone he's ever met.

You loved the way he made little corny jokes. You loved the way he danced—barely drunk from the bottles of rye he downed.

And oh, did you love the way he spoke.

You could listen to him all day on the radio, just absolutely smitten and melting where you stood. 

The one thing you didn't love about Alastor—the one thing you despised, really—was his wife.

That naive little thing. So meek, so quiet. You always hated the way she would cling onto his arm at parties. Loathed the way she'd shyly smile at everyone, including you.

There was just no way that delicate stupid girl could satisfy someone like Alastor.

Alastor needed, deserved, a real partner. One that had enough of a spine not to be stepped on, at the very least.

Your fingers twitched, aching to touch him more; to caress his thighs that perfectly framed your head. You wanted to feel him beneath you, reassure your heart that he was here with you.

You groaned as your longing was denied. You felt Alastor press his shoes harder against your hands, pinning your palms to the floor. The fingers in your hair tightened their grip, guiding you more strictly down his cock.

It was enough to cheer you up a little. Although your touch was declined, the little vibrations your sounds made clearly still had an effect on him. You felt a little proud knowing something as small as you moaning around him pleasured the hefty cock in your mouth.

The reality was far more bitter, though. Not that Alastor would ever let you know that.

Truth be told his grip was a warning. He had explicitly told you to be quiet, to keep your hands to yourself. But you seemed to be so adamant on testing his patience today, as you were refusing to do both.

Alastor's smile strained just a tad bit more in annoyance as he spoke into the microphone. "Hate to finish up the broadcast with some sour news, but someone's gotta keep you lovely folks up to date!"

You continued to bob your head between his legs, hidden from the rest of crew by the control panel. You made sure to drag the flat of your tongue over the under side of Alastor's dick each every time you lowered your mouth to his crotch. If your ministrations did anything for him, you couldn't really tell.

His voice was perfect, not a tone out of place as he continued his broadcast. You've never seen a man so well put together while having someone's mouth serve them so reverently.

"Seems the coppers found a couple more for the good old wooden kimonos last night. Grizzly sight it was—so I heard. Hate to be the ones to dig those poor souls out."

Even though he was the one to put them there in the first place, you suppressed a laugh. Not that you were complaining, though. It was part of how you and Alastor finally got together, after all.

Alastor finished up his broadcast, and you continued your slow little prayer on your knees. He waved his staff away when they tried to approach, simply sending them off with a friendly jest that he'd meet them at the bar after he cleaned up his work station.

It was only when the lock clicked behind his crew did Alastor finally acknowledge you. His lovely smile was intact, but you could tell his mood was a little soured by the way his brown eyes narrowed at you from behind his glasses.

The hand gripping your hair pulled you off his cock, a pathetic whine escaping your lips as he did so.

Alastor tried to ignore the—rather off putting—sight of a thin string of fluids connecting your mouth to the head of his dick. He bent down closer to you, keeping his gaze locked on yours.

"My dear, I thought I told you to be quiet while I worked." His voice was as sweet as ever.

You chuckled lightly, you wanted to move your hands to cup his cheek, bring him even closer to you. Perhaps even for a kiss to lift his seemingly bad mood.

The moment Alastor so much as felt your fingers twitch, he stepped harder on your hands again, keeping them pinned to the floor and away from him.

You opted to shrug your shoulders sheepishly instead. "I may have gotten carried away," You responded coyly "You just taste so good."

Alastor did his best not to cringe, choosing to tighten his smile. Ah, you were in one of your moods again, he thought.

"Then why don't you go ahead and have your fill of me now." His hand left the back of your head, resting instead on the sides of his chair as he leaned back. The gold band on his ring finger momentarily caught the light and drew your attention to it.

Your chest tightened just the slightest bit. You absolutely hated the reminder that Alastor wasn't fully yours. That he'd still go home to his stupid wife at the end of the day.

But not for long, at least that's what Alastor had promised you. And not right now. 

You ran your tongue along the thick vein of his cock, from the bottom, up its shaft, and smiled at the sight of his hips bucking up to your touch.

"In your mouth now again, darling." It didn't sound like a request, but you obeyed faithfully anyway. You were rewarded with a soft sigh as you welcomed him back in your warm mouth.

You'd bet your job that his sweet little wife never pleased him like this. Skittish thing like that would probably run at the thought of putting her lips on a hard dick.

Well, her loss is your gain.

You were so far gone in your own head that you hadn't even noticed Alastor wasn't looking at you.

No, instead his head craned towards the ceiling of his studio, eyes closed and tired.

He was trying to focus on the physical sensations you brought him, not that he had much of an interest in it in the first place, but he tried hard to concentrate. All he had to do was finish, and he could finally leave. Leave you here with some sweet promises, and not have to deal with your disgustingly loving gaze on him until maybe his next shift on Monday.

Not that spending time with his wife at home felt any more appealing.

He pushed the thoughts away, willing his mind to stay on you instead. He thought he can finish, at least he could feel the bottom of his gut tightening just a tiny fair bit.

He focused on the way your tongue felt as it swirled around him. How your lips stretched so softly to fit his shaft. How you practically drooled over his cock. How you—

You were noisier now that you knew you were alone, and it wasn't doing Alastor any favors. A rather loud moan cutting through his mind and it almost made the coil in his gut loosen completely, his shoulders tensing instead.

No, no this just wouldn't do. He had much more interesting plans tonight than to sit there and buy your silence with his cock.

His hand reached out once more, much less gentle than it was before. With less grace and care, Alastor's hand rested on the back of your neck, before harshly pushing you down as he bucked his hips up.

Your eyes were wide, a surge of panic filled you at the suddenness of the sensation. His dick hit the back of your throat and you tried to pull back immediately.

Alastor's other hand came up to the back of your head to push you back down. Your nose pressed firmly to his skin as his cock pushed past your throat. 

Your arms strained as you tried to use your hands to push him away, but Alastor merely stepped on your fingers harsher to get you to stay.

"Ah, fuck, darling. Stay like that. Oh that's lovely." You thought you heard him say.

He was finally looking down at you. The way you heaved as you choked on him. The way your body spasmed to get away. The way panic filled your pretty tearful eyes. 

Your throat tightening around him as you tried desperately to breathe felt miles better than whatever you were trying to do before, and it was exactly what he needed.

"Finally," He breathed out softly, almost in a moan, feeling the coil in his gut finally snap. He pressed you down, just the tiniest bit more and you felt his warm seed flow down your willing throat.

"There we go, dear." Alastor's harsh grip in your hair loosened, slowly petting through your locks. The hand on your neck remained, locking you in and rendering you unable to pull free.

Your eyes flickered up to him, part of you ready to beg for mercy, but one sight of his dazed smile made you pliant. Your body relaxed into his touch, simply letting him ride his high out with your bruised throat. 

He must have just gotten carried away, that's all. Simply something new he never got to do with his stupid wife. 

You felt his softening dick slowly pull out of you, his shaft dragging across your tongue and you finally pulled free with a choked gasp of air.

A gentle hand tipped your face back to meet Alastor's before you could be too dramatic. He pressed a gentle, chaste, kiss to the corner of your lips to calm you.

"You'll have to forgive me, my dear. Your body just makes me feel far too good—just couldn't hold back." The charm practically oozed from his smooth tongue.

Your gaze softened immediately. Your hands, now free from beneath his feet, made their way to his cheeks but he easily pulled back.

Really, what on earth made you think he'd let you touch him with filthy hands. Had you forgotten he'd been stepping on them this entire time? Kind of rude, if you'd ask him.

Not that any of those thoughts showed when Alastor simply, gently, helped you up to your feet by your elbow.

"Always so good to me, my dear. How I got so lucky to have a divine thing like you service me, I'd never know." He stood up with you, part of him did enjoy it whenever he got to look down on you in a more literal sense.

He pressed his body against yours, arms on the control panel behind you as he caged you in. His lips barely grazed your ears as he continued his sweet, sweet, praises. "Why couldn't you have shown up sooner, dear? I would have had it all." 

You placed your hand on his chest, failing to notice the way he flinched at the touch. "You still could, you know? All you have to do is leave that naive little thing and I could give you this every night." Your voice was low, seductive, alluring.

Alastor held back an annoyed groan. This again. His eyes rolled, not that you could see it with his head nuzzling against your shoulder.

"We both know I treat you so much better." You continued, hand trailing up to scratch at the hair at the bottom of his neck. "And I'd never hold you back from that little hobby of yours either." 

He chuckled at that, you could feel his lips at the base of your neck. "My dear, we've been through this." His kisses were soft, gentle, barely touching you, just like how he preferred it. "You don't have to feel so threatened by her, it's you that I want."

"Then why don't you—"

A gasp passed your lips.

"Leave her?" Alastor continued your sentence when you couldn't. His warm tongue licked over the reddened skin he bit. "I will, my dear, I will. Things are just a bit complicated at the moment."

More complicated than you knew, really.

He couldn't leave his wife because her dad was a big boss of his station. His ass would be out on the streets in minutes if he ever hurt that shy doll.

But he couldn't just kill you either. Not when your dad was the town sheriff.

He was lucky you were so obsessed with him that fucking you once in a while was enough to keep your pretty little mouth shut.

Honestly, just fuck the day you caught him slicing that man's flesh. That scum was hardly worth all the trouble he now has to go through.

"But I'm working on it." Alastor promised as he finally pulled away from you.

You gazed up into his warm, honest eyes. You adored the way he towered over you, really. It's like you fit together so perfectly—like puzzle pieces, was it? Was that how that cheesy line went.

"And then we can be together?" Your palms move to cup his face, and Alastor caught them on instinct before they could.

But you didn't notice, not when he corrected his actions so smoothly by pressing his lips to your knuckles instead—he tried his best to ignore how filthy they are, just to hide his mistake. "Of course, darling. In fact, I think I can work things out by tonight." 

Your father was going to be alone at the station.

Your eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yes, my dear. Soon all of this hiding and sneaking around will be a thing of the past." He said, almost with the same amount of excitement as you.

He couldn't wait to toss your body in a ditch next to your old man's corpse.

"But I musn't be late"

He'll miss his chance to slit your father's throat if he lingered any longer.

"Soon you wouldn't have to be jealous of my wife, dear."

After all, the dead don't envy do they?

Alastor willed himself to humor you one last time, pressing his lips to yours before he bid you a good night.

He couldn't have rushed out that door any faster.

Who would have known trying to keep his cover would have eaten up so much of his time? He barely had any left to do the very act he was even trying to cover for.

Honestly, how troublesome.

But no matter, no matter.

He glanced back at the station. He could vaguely see your lovestruck figure through the window. He watched amusedly as you pathetically held your fingers to your lips, absolutely lost on cloud nine.

It won't be long until he was rid of you, and that fact was enough to lift his sour mood.

[lucinatta]

GIRL OK I'm going to vent. If u want to read that'd be great cause I want to know if I'm in the wrong here lol. It's long tho so no need <3

Last monday was my birthday, it's a sucky day to have as a bday so what I did was invite my friends over for dinner on sunday, wait till midnight, blow the candles, eat some cake, open presents, and send everyone on their way at about 1 am so all of us could sleep relatively early. These were like, my "important" birthday plans, because they happened on my actual birthday. I invited my closest friends + 2 girls my friends have been dating for about 7/8 months, because a) I like them! and b) I knew they were spending that weekend over at my friends' places anyway so bringing them was easier than not.

Context for later: The 2 friends with the girlfriends are male, those are the only 2 partners that are external to the friend group, there's 9 of us, and we've been friends for about 10 years.

Anyway, so when I set that plan up on the gc, I explicitly asked both my friends to bring their girlfriends. They told me they would, they did, everything went great. After sunday's plan, I proposed we go out to dinner and then for drinks this saturday so I could have like proper bday plans that don't get cut short because everyone has to get up early for work. Everyone said they could come. Great, no issues so far.

Issues start yesterday, in a gc I'm NOT in that my friends made so they could discuss my present for sunday + a surprise cake (that now I know about lol) for saturday. This is not uncommon, we have bday groupchats for everyone in the group. One of my friends (girl) proposes the surprise cake, and apparently one of my male friends says that his gf can make the cake (as a gift) because she works as a baker. My friend (girl) says that it's not a good idea, since it be weird to have her make a cake for a plan she's not invited to. Apparently this caught both my male friends off guard, because they were under the impression that both their gfs were invited and had already told them about the plan. Now, to be clear, I didn't invite them and at no point did I imply they were invited. Not necessarily because I didn't want them there specifically, but rather because I wanted a night out with just my friends. These 2 girls come to a lot of our plans as a group, but when they do it's because we either tell them to, or our friends ask if they can come. NEITHER OF THESE 2 THINGS HAPPENED!! I want to clarify though, I didn't and still don't feel strongly about them not coming, and if it had been up to me, I would have liked both my friends to reach out to me and let me know that they had misunderstood, that they thought the girls were invited and that they had already invited them, and I would have told them to bring them!! like it really wasn't a big deal. Instead they got upset and told their girlfriends that they couldn't come because I DIDN'T WANT THEM THERE, which sounds sooooo much more drastic than what it actually is. So I find myself in a very shitty situation with NO WARNING (because again, this started in a gc I'M NOT IN!!!), when one of my friends sends me this really long message about how sad and hurt he is and asking me if I'm mad a him or his gf or whatever, and how he had hoped that I would think of her as my friend after all this time. To clarify she's not my friend, she's my friend's gf (that I really like!!), and "all this time" is 8 months lmao. Now these 2 girls think that I hate them, and I have to apologize for something I DIDN'T DOOOOOO. Like this wasn't my misunderstanding, I wasn't even on the gc!! and like what options do I have, realistically? Telling them to backtrack and invite them back gives major "you can come, IF YOU WANT" vibes and I hate that, and telling them that, no, they're not invited sounds like I don't like them or want them there. Like both my options suck.

Things have smoothed over now with my friends but I know they're mad about their gfs being hurt and SO AM I but like, it's not my fault!!! They (my friends) assumed they (their gfs) were invited when they weren't!! But again, it wasn't something I felt strongly about! like honest to god idk why they didn't just tell me they had invited them because they thought they were invited before stirring the pot behind my back. Now everything's a mess and things are tense because the rest of the gc sided with me. And I'm not gonna lie I'm kinda mad that they made this my problem on my bday week. Like couldn't you have waited a week to bring it up?? Anyway that's it lmao

[possibilistfanfiction]

i love that you've been making a lot of ur avatrice fics a subtle (or very UNSUBTLE) ode to mascs/butch lesbians. and an ode to being queer in general. i think my fave things to read lately have been works like that; where the characters aren't just queer, but happy to be queer, relieved to be queer, or saved by being queer. and in terms of gender expression and queerness its something that i've had a hard time reconciling with myself, but the way you explore it through bea is refreshing and helpful for me, someone who's been out for 8 years and still sweats when deciding what shirts to buy myself, or sometimes how to even just walk when i go outside

honestly i never know what like general reactions will be but everyone has been so lovely! i think it's like — fundamentally so important to me that bea was never ever made to be femme! like canonically she's attractive to women in the show!! she has her little slacks!! & she's not like masc/butch explicitly but at the same time i'm like... she's never gotten to choose for herself either! & maybe she would! she could if she wanted! a little knight at the campfire, you know

& yah it's hard!! i've been out for over a decade & have gotten to have top surgery & be in a generally v safe & queer city + a wonderful marriage & community & like... i still cry over pants!! it's hard to be in a world that wasn't built for you, no matter how happy it is

BUT that being said yes to me queerness is the holiest thing in the whole world!! like whew, queerness DOES save the world; it is a relief & it is a joy & it is a miracle!

& i think, for me, at least, when i write bea, it's rly important to use the word lesbian for sure, but i also think like... there is something so so so beautiful about butches & dykes!!! & at least part of my journey has been falling in love with those words & that history & that deep joy. so in my fics i love writing bea getting to have some of that freedom & healing very specifically around like... not being femme!! she's a lesbian!!! maybe one day she would love the word dyke & all the gentle power it has held for so long. i don't really want it to be subtle bc i don't actually think after a few years of therapy & the world's most enthusiastic partner that bea would ever want anyone to think she's straight lol

& like god... i made myself emotional w a suit or a pair of pants & an older dyke where u just are like... oh. i can exist like this, so happy & so myself & so loved, for so long. & ava is wonderful so it's just kind of lovely to imagine bea just like... getting a masc haircut w the full freedom to love it or hate it bc ava is just :) i love you!!!!! & bea has never gotten to see if she would even Like that on herself before. bea trying on men's ("men's") clothes, picking out cologne bc she likes the way it smells better than perfume, etc etc etc. & in addition to her little button downs & slacks like... what would she want to wear during a lazy day at home? what would she want to wear to brunch on a sunday morning? ava is just in love so there's so, so many choices that open up to her!! she gets to just settle into what makes her happy & all the ways that's fluid & graceful & changing, none of which are defined by expectations of shutting the queer part of yourself off. all the beautiful expansiveness of queerness & this really gorgeous masculinity that's just There to explore. idk, it's wonderful lol & i feel like that freedom is just, for me, really nice to get to write. obviously if other ppl feel differently, that's also totally cool, but yeah, soft butch beatrice in all those variations forever

[blueiight]

Marius is a pedophile who purchased and groomed Armand at age 14/15. He fell in love with Pandora when she was 13 or so idk. Lestat is in canon no more a pedophile than Louis or Armand is, in fact Louis is more so one considering what he said about Claudia in Merrick (essentially saying his love for Claudia and Merrick are of the same nature). Lestat made Claudia yes but she was always intended as a daughter and not a fucktoy. Like i'm sorry but this anon is insane. If they're looking to stir up hate toward Lestat maybe don't start with why do people not vibe with a character who is explicitly always drawn to kids as sexual partners first and foremost

Even in the interview book and in a section of qotd louis + claudia’s arrangement in europe was likened to that of a marriage.. by both parties lol. claudia saying if u can love someone like me u can also love armand.. louis saying we were like man+ wife. lestat making claudia is a taboo like marius making armand bc they were both children. lestat also raped a mortal woman in tobt. it was a parallel was my point. it was a mistake of me to even answer a single anon abt that i was letting it cook cuz i was busy this week n had time today but i shouldnt have even answered any of it. i dont want anons scrapping in my ask box cuz theyre too scared to post their opinion on fiction on their own blogs n ppl taking me out of context saying i endorse xyz or abcd + sending my responses to groupchats to mock. im really fucking tired of this fanbase this is one of the most annoying fanbases ive been in in no small part bc of how yall move. the show has invigorated my interest + im excited to see how it goes but i dont want to be nobody proxy blog loool.

[knayv]

𝖙𝖊𝖒𝖕 𝖕𝖎𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖉. independent arlecchino of genshin impact. headcanon-dependent until canon proves otherwise. minors dni. #𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐘𝐕.

BLOGROLL: @baishouqijia ✦ @capitaneus ✦ @kohlapsar

I. no homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, harassment etc. i do not reblog callouts unless the individual is genuinely harmful (i.e. behaviour related to those listed), rather than being called out for personal grievances. you are welcome to block the tag 'callout /' for this purpose.

II. i do not interact with minors. if you are a minor, i ask that you do not interact with me or this blog. i cannot guarantee that this blog will remain sfw, therefore this is a blanket rule.

III. arlecchino is a villain, and i don't intend to shy away/soften her up, so dark topics may be present. that said, i do not write incest, nsfw involving minors or sexual violence - i'm okay with these topics being included in a character's backstory but will not be writing these explicitly.

i do write nsfw headcanons/nsfw themes in my threads. this may include sexual content and explicit gore / violence, with my rp partner's consent.

as an aside, i appreciate that a lot of people enjoy the villain/victim dynamic but please don't reach out to write with me if you're only focused on tragedy/victim plot for your muse. it's very one-sided for development, and i get very little enjoyment from writing it. i want to explore arlecchino as her own person, and not as a plot device.

IV. please specify muse before interacting with me if you are a multi-muse. i'm very original character friendly, so long as there's a viable way for arle to interact with your muse.

V. please check out headcanon tags before interacting! arlecchino has little canon information so will be reliant on these. some are supported by canon lore, some of these will just be based on pure vibes alone.

my arlecchino uses she / he / they pronouns and i use them interchangeably.

VI. this blog will be low activity. i work full time in a demanding job, so please don't interact with me if you need fast replies to maintain a muse. i am quite responsive ooc, but when it comes to writing, you will just have to take my word for it that i am worth the wait ʚ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ɞ

VII. shipping is very cool and i am open to it! i ship with both genshin and non-genshin muses, and occasionally ocs. i prefer headcanoning more than actual writing due to my writing speed, but i am still interested! i prefer shipping with chemistry rather than what's considered canon, and i'm generally singleship but this is not a hard rule. i’m also poly friendly.

ship bias: tsaritsa, columbina, sandrone, signora, beidou, rosaria, childe, capitano

all others are welcome to explore, no hard feelings if it doesn't work out c:

VIII. i'd appreciate it if you didn't use heavy metaphors / poetry in our threads. absolutely no hate or anything, i just find it very difficult to understand what the characters are actually doing in this writing style. i also ask that you don't use real life face claims in our threads; i write characters who do not have irl images so it feels very space jam.

IX. i write muses without knowing most of their lore from in-game text because i am lazy. i play genshin daily, but most of it the lore supplied by youtube/wiki because i genuinely cba going through all of the texts in game to get pantalone crumbs. if i write something incorrect to canon, like hideously wrong, feel free to let me know. chances are i just didn't read the small print.

X. i go by dima or vodka! i'm 27 and use they/them. i'm a hobbyist artist and i love fantasy, liches in particular. i will draw our muses whether u like it or not. my dms are open, feel free to ask for my discord, or genshin uid if you play on EU!

[baishouqijia]

#𝖇𝖆𝖎𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖖𝖎𝖏𝖎𝖆 independent PANTALONE  of the FATUI HARBINGERS ( genshin impact ). headcanon-based portrayal until canon confirms otherwise. themes of violence, adult content and spoilers. minors do not interact. by dima. ⓒ

AES. CARRD. CREDITS. HEADCANONS. MUSIC.

BLOGROLL: @capitaneus ✦ @knayv ✦ @kohlapsar

I. no homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, harassment etc. i do not reblog callouts unless the individual is genuinely harmful (i.e. behaviour related to those listed), rather than being called out for personal grievances. you are welcome to block the tag 'callout /' for this purpose.

II. i do not interact with minors. if you are a minor, i ask that you do not interact with me or this blog. i cannot guarantee that this blog will remain sfw, therefore this is a blanket rule.

III. pantalone is a villain, and i don't intend to shy away/soften him up, so dark topics may be present. i do not write incest, nsfw involving minors or sexual violence - i'm okay with these topics being included in a character's backstory but will not be writing these explicitly.

i do write nsfw headcanons/nsfw themes in my threads. this may include sexual content and explicit gore / violence, with my rp partner's consent.

as an aside, i appreciate that a lot of people enjoy the villain/victim dynamic but please don't reach out to write with me if you're only focused on tragedy/victim plot for your muse. it's very one-sided for development, and i get very little enjoyment from writing it. i want to explore pantalone as his own person, and not as a plot device.

IV. please specify muse before interacting with me if you are a multi-muse. i'm also original character friendly, so long as there's a viable way for pantalone to interact with your muse.

V. please check out headcanon tags before interacting! pantalone has little canon information so will be reliant on these. some are supported by canon lore, some of these will just be based on pure vibes alone.

my pantalone uses he/they pronouns and i use them interchangeably.

VI. this blog will be low activity. i work full time in a demanding job, so please don't interact with me if you need fast replies to maintain a muse. i am quite responsive ooc, but when it comes to writing, you will just have to take my word for it that i am worth the wait ʚ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ɞ

VII. shipping is very cool and i am open to it! i ship with both genshin and non-genshin muses, and occasionally ocs. i prefer headcanoning more than actual writing due to my writing speed, but i am still interested! i prefer shipping with chemistry rather than what's considered canon, and i'm generally singleship but this is not a hard rule. i’m also poly friendly.

ship bias: dottore, capitano, childe, yelan, tsaritsa, pierro

all others are welcome to explore, no hard feelings if it doesn't work out c:

VIII. i'd appreciate it if you didn't use heavy metaphors / poetry in our threads. absolutely no hate or anything, i just find it very difficult to understand what the characters are actually doing in this writing style. i also ask that you don't use real life face claims in our threads; i write characters who do not have irl images so it feels very space jam.

IX. i write muses without knowing most of their lore from in-game text because i am lazy. i play genshin daily, but most of it the lore supplied by youtube/wiki because i genuinely cba going through all of the texts in game to get pantalone crumbs. if i write something incorrect to canon, like hideously wrong, feel free to let me know. chances are i just didn't read the small print.

X. i go by dima or vodka! i'm 28 and use they/them. i'm a hobbyist artist and i love fantasy, liches in particular. i will draw our muses whether u like it or not. my dms are open, feel free to ask for my discord, or genshin uid if you play on EU!

[castsblight]

#𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓. LORD YANRIC HAIMELHEIM ― dark fantasy antagonist. original character accompanied by original canon. themes of death, genocide and fantasy war lay ahead. crafted by dima.

CARRD. ✦ MUSIC ✦

𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐧 a lich feigning humanity, reliquaries hidden in plain sight, carving the path for delusions of grandeur, decay permeating from your very core, and the insatiable desire to dig deeper into the earth.

𝐈. no homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, harassment etc. i do not reblog callouts unless the individual is genuinely harmful (i.e. behaviour related to those listed), rather than being called out for personal grievances. you are welcome to block the tag 'callout /' for this purpose.

no god-modding/power-play; as the antagonist, yanric is ridiculously op in his original canon. liches are undead, ascended magic users. i don't intend to write fight scenes but of course i won't do any injury without checking with you first!

𝐈𝐈. i do not interact with minors. if you are a minor, i ask that you do not interact with me or this blog. i cannot guarantee that this blog will remain sfw, therefore this is a blanket rule.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. yanric is a villain (albeit charming and charismatic) and i don't intend to shy away/soften him up. i do not write incest, nsfw involving minors or sexual violence - i'm okay with these topics being included in a character's backstory but will not be writing these explicitly. i do write nsfw headcanons/nsfw themes in my threads. this may include sexual content and explicit gore / violence, with my rp partner's consent.

𝐈𝐕. this blog will be low activity. i work full time in a demanding job, so please don't interact with me if you need fast replies to maintain a muse. i am quite responsive ooc, but when it comes to writing, you will just have to take my word for it that i am worth the wait ʚ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ɞ

𝐕. shipping is very cool. yanric is bisexual and very evil. i ship with chemistry, and i prefer head-canoning more than threads due to my writing speed, but i am still interested! generally singleship but this is not a hard rule. i’m also poly friendly! no nsfw with minors (mun/muse), no incest or SA plots.

NOTE: yanric is undead. his human appearance is a glamour, he is literally a corpse. i won't stop you if you wanna f*ck him but CINDY THIS IS A SKELETON, THIS IS BONES. also has "unhealthy" behaviours (obsession, jealousy, extremely co-dependent with parental issues) so fluff is very unlikely.

𝐕𝐈. i'd appreciate it if you didn't use heavy metaphors / poetry in our threads. absolutely no hate or anything, i just find it very difficult to understand what the characters are actually doing in this writing style. i also ask that you don't use real life face claims in our threads; i write characters who do not have irl images so it feels very space jam.

on the topic of imagery, icons are a mix of my own art, seth (ennead), and medici (lord of mysteries). please see below for credits!

𝐕𝐈𝐈. i go by dima and vodka interchangeably, for those who would rather not use names related to alcohol. both are fine with me! i'm 27 and use they/them. i'm a hobbyist artist and i love fantasy, liches in particular. i will draw our muses whether u like it or not. my dms are open, and feel free to ask for my discord!

𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐒.

@poetryrph for icon border art: Vitta042 @ twitter art: reloon @ lofter art: sahoyou13478 @ lofter art: luoluoji776 @ lofter

[centi-pedve]

4 the ask game, maybe one of the extremists? whoevers ur fave lol. or all four of em! whatever u want

All four of em... whenever we get an opportunity to write an absurdly long post, we're gonna. we loooove talking we won't shut up

COMMUNISM

Sexuality Headcanon: Uranic if we're remembering that right like. MLM and MLNB essentially. As well as ace-spec. We cannot imagine Commie with a woman in any capacity don't know why but that's just how it is. And also he seems like the type who would not seek out sex nor have any desire to but if his partner were to want it then he would be unbothered and he'd be okay doing it for them when asked.

Gender Headcanon: Just seems like a cis guy to us. Very cis guy.

A ship I have with said character: Tbh we don't like explicitly ship things within Centricide we just sort of go with the flow but we guess both Leftunity and Authunity lets us vibe. We vibe with Leftunity just because you know it's The Ship and we don't have any gripes with it and we like Authunity because we like reading the Authunity fics. Smiling bigly and widely and hoping you understand.

A BROTP I have with said character: Authright would also just be a cool BROTP because you know they vibe well with the whole bootcrushing thing and they can bond over being pieces of shit. We like how they interact in Centricide in that way you know? Bros. Homies.

A NOTP I have with said character: It's so hard to come up woth NOTPs with Centricide characters because our viewpoint is that all Centricide ships are valid and it depends on how it's expressed but we guess if we had to pick one...? Maybe with Nazbol? Because it just seems those two wouldn't be able to romance. Nazbol doesn't seem like the type to be able to romance anyone tbf he's just a quirky lil guy.

A random headcanon: Used to be a scrawny little creature--!

General Opinion over said character: Decent character. Surprised we didn't like him more because generally he's our type of character but we just didn't feel that strong connection. No complaints though.

ANCOM

Sexuality Headcanon: Omnisexual tbh, pref for male-aligned but can go for literally anyone if quee vibes enough with them. Also definitely polyamorous.

Gender Headcanon: Anarchogender lol lmao

A ship I have with said character: Well Leftunity again like we said before. But also we really like the polycule and esp with Anqueer we think those two would TOTALLY vibe with each other romantically and honestly a little better than Leftunity because it seems a bit more balanced relationship-wise? The two just have more in common y'know.

A BROTP I have with said character: Honestly same with ships we still think the ships would still be awesome as friendships but we think Ancap is a good BROTP. Like the two kind of hate each other but they fuck with each other as well. Lil drug buddies. We like looking at art of the two of them getting absolutely fucking blasted with each other.

A NOTP I have with said character: We don't explicitly think the ship is bad (like we said we ain't a ship hater generally) but we don't really get Libunity that well. Maybe we just can't Understand it like we're cringe in that way but we just can't see how the two would get along in a relationship. We feel like Ancom is the type to kind of get turned away by excessive wealth so it'd be uncomfortable for Ancom you know?

A random headcanon: Catkin. Stfu

General Opinion over said character: Hot take we don't actually like Ancom that much like we aren't an Ancom hater but we don't really like. LIKE Ancom if that makes sense. Don't know why... Soz guys we know quee is like the Tumblr one but we just aren't Ancompilled enough.

ANCAP

Sexuality Headcanon: Definitely pansexual like so hard. This guy just fucks he doesn't care about gender or anything. But also aro. Aromantic pansexual. He just seems like he wouldn't be interested in people romantically but is definitely interested in them sexually and that's pretty based and cool. But also not self aware of it at all and people think he disregards people and only sees them as sex objects but he just genuinely can't form those sorts of attractions.

Gender Headcanon: We just see him as a cis guy but we like to see other interpretations of Ancap's gender. Just not really feeling strongly on anything ourselves.

A ship I have with said character: Not really a shipping guy with Ancap esp because of the aro interpretation but if we disregarded that then probably with Anpac. They seem cute together lol it's one of the few Centricide ships we've seen that we genuinely got really excited over.

A BROTP I have with said character: Ancom like we said before and also with the lib gang obvi!! Him and Libertarian are def little bestie businessmen guys they love exploiting people together. Just girly things...

A NOTP I have with said character: Once again no hate but we're not the most Commie and Ancap guy in town. Not really something that seems like it'd work out from our perspective.

A random headcanon: Owns this stupid fucking spoon we hate

General Opinion over said character: Pretty swag guy. Not really a fave but we chill. Also he was our favorite Centricide character when we first watched Centricide over a year ago but only because we were an unironic Ancap and we were like omg! He's just like us except rich xoxo We love it when Capitalism! (we no longer love it when capitalism)

AUTHRIGHT

Sexuality Headcanon: Gonna stay consistent with the art we just uploaded and go with bisexual. He definitely embodies that one meme that's like "guys will say they're fighting demons and the demons are bisexuality" or however it goes. Definitely a preference for women but that small little manloving part of him causes him to think that a little bit of gay thoughts is normal so he tries to use that to disprove other people's bisexuality.

Gender Headcanon: Cis man generally but we can and will drool over the idea of transmasc Authright.

A ship I have with said character: Authunity again because of the fics but UGHHH the international union of nationalists... Okay we like it with Homonat because it's just so quirky like homosexual thoughts in denial vs homosexual thoughts front and center like that's a little bit quirky n stuff... also Conservative we don'ttt really see it as well as would like Homonat x Conservative but we also think Authright x Conservative is interesting because two dudes who don't like the gays being gay with one another? Very fun very cool because you have to have like TWO STEPS of denial abolishment to get there. And Moderate is cute because big scary guy and little guy aahahaha... we feel like we sound so weird right now like maybe a little bit creepy and shit but we just very much enjoy nationalist pairings.

A BROTP I have with said character: Once again we pretty much think ships can translate well to BROTPs but also Libright could potentially be a bromie with Authright depending on how it goes.

A NOTP I have with said character: Ancom probably wouldn't be a good idea.

A random headcanon: Fortnite player

General Opinion over said character: We love pathetic little motherfuckers who deserve pain so we quite enjoy Authright.

[msdk-00]

Hi I'm new here, first how are u feeling about the pics Lix posted on bubble earlier? Me with a mental boner and wanting to suck his d so bad.

Second, advice about getting off in the shower, showering really quick then turning on the water tap, u can adjust the temperature and the stream obvs and u need a little weird yoga pose or a little flexibility to make it fall where u want it to (usually the clit) it's cheap it's fast it's cool makes me cum everytime so, idk i hope my advice is useful!

welcome!

i never knowwhat idols post on bubble because i don't follow any fan accounts so i searched up what ur talking about and um.

this is .something. if i returned to my smut writing days id be furiously writing something absolutely toe clenching awful right now. felix makes me absolutely insane and this outfit is making me have evil evil thoughts

explicitly nsfw and tmi below

as for the shower advice i'm super finicky and have never came w anything besides my own hands (not that i've tried a whole lot more yet but) i might have to try again because i hate how i have no options lol. and i feel like having to be so precise will mean it will be very hard if not impossible for a partner to get me to climax. this is such a tangent but you made me think about it again so i think i have to just suck it up and "retrain" myself to not only be able to come in only one specific way even if it means i don't come from it from a while if that makes sense😬🤞

[castle-dominion]

c1x1 flowers for your grave

Apparently the petals were silk. Frame rate could use some help. Sexy murder tho.

I didn't realize Gina was introduced so early!

I feel bad for the normal detective from the initial pilot that they replaced in the series/extended pilot with ryan, probs be he looks cuter. Unless my man lived in NY whereas SD (KR) lived in LA.

I've watched the commentary version of this & wowie there is a lot that makes sense the second time around

Wow what a sexy pilot episode. HOLY CRAP WHERE IS RYAN'S CLOTHING I CAN SEE HIS ENTIRE TORSO /hyp.

LP: Even bought her flowers. Who says romance is dead? KB: I do. Every Saturday night.

Espt in the first episode talking abt just doing his work, getting paid, & going home. The first episode really is trying to set characters right off the bat even tho I feel like they didn't get their groove until e4 (which is why I'm watching these backwards).

Don't you guys read? Doesn't mean they specifically read Castle books.

Castle puppydog face uwu, also wow stubble man. Must be a huge rebound for NF after his last show. Martha & Alexis getting their characters set XD. lmao Gray-dar! She sounds so young! I love alexis! (But at least where I live it is legal for a guardian or a guardian's partner to give their kid alcohol in the safety of their own home.)

New york, LA, NY, LA

RC: When I was your age... (he stops himself) I can’t tell that story. It's wildly inappropriate. Which, oddly, is my point. Don’t you want to have wildly inappropriate stories that you can’t tell your children?

CASTLE Just once, I’d like someone to come up to me and say something new. BECKETT (O.S.) Mr. Castle? [Castle turns around and pulls out a pen.] CASTLE Where would you like it? [Beckett approaches and holds up her badge.] BECKETT Detective Kate Beckett. NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight. [Alexis takes the pen while she hangs around his shoulder.] ALEXIS That’s new. (https://scriptline.livejournal.com/16926.html)

Again, the intro is so much bigger than it is in the future.

Says here that you stole a police horse? And you were nude at the time?

Castle is kinda gross sometimes. I am glad I saw him in later seasons bc now seeing the start I know I would Hate Him. I kind of do. Beckett is so strong & castle is such a boy.

Ooh music. I noticed good music earlier too.

RC: C’est apres minuit dans un school night. Don’t you turn into a pumpkin or something? Wow language alexis!

the physicality is so cute & sweet.

[Beckett comes in carrying a box full of Richard Castle books.] RYAN o.o ... What are those? BECKETT Castle's greatest hits. You're going to familiarize yourselves with all of his murder scenes so we don't miss any. ESPOSITO Got any on tape? (laughs) A point for the espt adhd hc, not as strong as my adhd ryan hc. But hey castle does readings, I'm sure he could record one of those... he's a famous author he surely has audiobooks, tho I always like it when the author narrates their own book.

KR: "From the library of Katherine Beckett." KB: Do you have a problem with reading Ryan? didn't u already use this like JE: Yo, check it, girl. You're totally a fan! KB: Right. Of the genre. Girl u'r a homicide detective u rly want to read more crime after work? KR: Right. The-the genre. That's why you're blushing. KB: What are you, twelve? & then actually she gets ryan into these books which I think was a great touch even tho it is never explicitly spoken about. Ryan looks somewhat normal today, not like a weird college student. It def seems like ryan is not just the new guy on the show but espt also looks closer to beckett & ryan seems like the new guy here, even tho as confirmed somewhere in s2 they had already been partners for three years or smth.

Rly weird to see the two precinct sets. Are they canonically considered the same location & we are supposed to suspend our disbelief?

Nope : )

Castle sherlock holmsing here & then gets too close to home. & beckett's face just falling ever so slowly, I love it. That was good.

Maybe the guy was just a fanartist.

Man the livejournal transcript has some info but sadly the captions have more & I just can't hear it that well. Castle is chatting with espt at his desk & I can't tell who is saying what, esp when that fellow walks across the screen, covering their lips. I think it went smth like this: (conversation happening before the scene switches) (RC probably asks smth like: so have you ever shot anybody?) (JE: ...) Shot anybody? RC: Did you ever shoot anyone? JE: Yeah KB: *interrupts with stuff abt the case* Like bro idk how that convo actually went but typically u don't ask someone if they ever shot anyone. idk if it was cop talk or if castle just learned this man is ex-military or what. I also just enjoy learning abt the characters & I wouldn't mind having seen more convo.

Big cheese...? Also ew there are like.. protocols. JE: Man’s got the Mayor on speed dial. The rich really are different. KB: You want him? He’s yours. (that's gay) JE: A control freak like you with something you can’t control? No, no. That’s going to be more fun than Shark Week. These two with their banter. Love it.

Bro you DO come to a complete stop & do proper taxes. you might do a rolling stop at a stop sign or pay for parsley instead of cilantro.

Lanie is a fan <3 *extending hand* Lanie Parish. Medical Examiner. I love your books. Y’know, you have a real gift with the details of death.

Then u don't know me very well.

Why is she wearing a vest but not rysposito?

NY, LA, NY, LA, I def recommend watching the commentary version. Man got a shrine.

Ew ableism. You are really frightening the fellow there. My brother had to (verbally) kick a nurse's ass when she kept touching a patient without consent. He's a "lowly porter" tho so yk how things go. Nurse was too obsessed with doing what SHE thought was right (soothingly touching the patient) instead of respecting the patient's boundaries & explaining what was going on.

KB: This isn’t one of your books, Castle. Out here, we find a guy standing over a body with a gun, he’s usually the guy who did it. Not foreshadowing...

Love the writer poker. Presents it like he's writing a story.

She just runs after him all angry. He becomes sweet. He WAS sweet. Even though he used the opportunity. The music <3

I like how apples is a reoccuring word.

Martha <3 "I've had LOTS of father figures" lmao

Still, espt is the one talking with beckett.

I love how rick & alexis are chatting & then Martha is just there. MR: That makes about as much sense as Mouse Trap. I did that play eight times a week for a year. I still have no idea what it's about.

I love how the show still managed to have beckett & castle finishing each other's sentences even tho they r not even in the same room.

AC: by a lot MR: Mine too

I love seeing the scenes that they used in the intro for s1. I don't think s4 has an intro tho & I kind of miss it.

RC: This is not what it looks like. This-- I-- Okay, this is exactly what it looks like. But I can explain.

I suddenly remember how this ends. Oof poor guy, children was such a habit & now he has to say child.

Want a hot dog? I want a hot dog. (Beckett grabs his nose) Ow apples apples apples! He couldn't have lost weight to look sick thin becks. Maybe he WAS workout thin & then he's all depressed bc his daughter was just murdered & now he LOOKS sick thin, but that's a stretch.

Good on her for this lie/train of thought. Does he KNOW when all three were murdered? I mean they were probs in the paper, that's how he "found out" her case kid "killed" her.

Why did he specifically fly out on those days? I think being out of town /specifically/ those days is sus.

RC: Oh Markway! Tell him I say hello.

I love the way that castle talks versus beckett. Lol writing on castle's back

Boy just puts it in the shredder like that?

Yay the non-ryan cop & the scaffolding, now it looks like a city. Beckett talking to him like a toddler. She just cuffed him XD. You know, I'm glad I have a cuff key. You're actually more likely to be accidentally cuffed in some sort of sex cult than accidentally cuffed by a cop. I also have an elevator key which is useful. Too bad I actually lost my keyring. Rick is so cool & sexy & valid. Why would he take off his shoe tho? The audio commentary: "I have never seen toes that small on a man over six foot." The poor filming, they had to clean up the paper every time. & make sure they were no rocks or needles for poor NF (RC).

tbh I understand this guy. Sibling is the pretty one, the loved one, the smart one. That WAS cool castle! Even the weird little sound effect.

I forgot that castle know guns, at least a bit. Probs research for his prev books. I'm remembering that episode, probably 5-8 somewhere, when beckett taught him to shoot a gun but he already knew & then won a bet. Ye. He knew the safety was on too.

Hoowee she is so self confident & hot.

nice skull lamp

tough BUT savvy?

Little eyebrow cock at the end. The start of everything!

[libra-kirishima]

Hello! Could I request some GE Saeran NSFW headcanons? (If you're okay with it, I'd also love to see some for Zen, Jumin, Rika and/or Jaehee, but I don't want to be requesting too much!) Thank you if you end up doing this one ❤

Just barely got this out before it was over but happy birthday to Saeran. Thank u for this anon, I love him.

Saeran

It takes him a long time to be comfortable with sex.

Immediately after his good Ending he hates his body, he's scared of hurting you, he's scared of pushing you away, he's afraid to be touched, and he doesn't really know what to do.

Two weeks in at the beginning of his AE, you can see him gradually becoming more comfortable with the idea

But you'll be taking the lead and providing encouragement for a long time before he feels confident enough to take the reigns himself.

He's so soft. Always so loving.

He likes to keep his hands on you.

Holds your hand during sex 🥺

He gradually becomes more open to experimentation but doesn't ever want to hurt you again.

Will let you blindfold him and tie him up occasionally but he likes to be able to see you.

After his good ending he doesn't like the idea of restricting you at all so he's probably not open to doing the same to you.

Loves to be bit. Please bite him. He can't get enough of it.

Enjoys coming home to you after a rough day of work and absorbing himself into you completely.

Zen

Canonically loves sex

And he's good at it

Guaranteed to be the best partner you've ever had

Because he uses it as an opportunity to worship you

Can and will eat you out for hours

Big fan of overstimulating you as well

Wants to tie your hands up while he does it, too. Please let him live out his sensory deprivation fantasies on you.

He has an insane sex drive. Can go multiple times a day every day if you let him.

Also scared of hurting you at first but you don't exactly have to beg him if you want him to be rougher with you.

Only thing off the table for him is degradation. It's not his speed.

Jumin

He isn't horny all the time like Zen is but he also would spend the rest of his life in bed with you if he could

Despite being again premarital cohabitation, Jumin is absolutely not against premarital sex.

Though when you finally become his wife his sex drive and his desire for you both increase tenfold

His prescious wife

Would never say it out loud but he feels most at home between your thighs

It's no secret that Jumin likes it rough

And he'll try anything at least once

Absolutely refuses to sub. Will not even consider it.

He is the top all of the time. No exceptions.

Your sex life is a very typical D/S dynamic

His good ending makes him realize that he doesn't actually want to control you completely, but he does have rules he sets with you before hand and you know if you break those rules there are consequences

And he's certainly not afraid to punish you for being bratty

Even though he really likes it when you are

Punishments aren't anything extreme

Spanking, orgasm denial, gagging, stricter rules, etc.

Would never do anything you didn't like and fully consent to, and because of that he trusts you completely

Jaehee

Absolutely will not top

She has too much on her mind. She's so stressed out all the time. She needs it.

It also takes her a long time to be comfortable with sex, but it's because she didn't realize she was a lesbian until she fell in love with you and she feels a little out of her element at first.

Not really a fetishist and not into anything rough

She likes it when you pull her hair while you're making out but she can't do anything further.

Honestly just wants to be babied, but she doesn't want to explicitly tell you that.

Likes the soft shit. Compliments, sweet nothings, gentile kisses, holding hands

Rika

I have a lot of thoughts but I'll try to keep this short so I don't write a novel about rika

If we're going off of V's BE1

She tries so hard to keep things equal between you because she sees you as her other half

But she hates when she's not the top

Because she likes to be in charge, she prefers when you do things on her schedule

When Rika is in the mood you're not going anywhere

She absolutely adores you and if you allow her she will show you during sex

You're the only person who sees her for who she really is and because of this she's always so intimate with you

Even when she's being rough it's always very intimate

Loves to mark you. She's very possessive. Very territorial. She wants everyone to see the bruises on your body and know that you're hers.

Loves to hurt you but always makes sure she makes up for it afterwards.

Queen of aftercare!!

[dennishater69]

bro i been thinking abt that (the one up there that one great post big fan) post theorizing that dennis is meant to be a twist on the “jim halpert” kind of a leading man thats standard on sitcoms. and how all the characters are like that yanno? historically successful, funny, and loved tv tropes put into an unforgiving and realistic world? like it’s even funnier when you think about how it’s almost as if the gang (ESP Den) /knows/ that they should be getting rewarded for all their antics and scheming. that’s what happens on tv. on tv jim knew from day one that he was the man for pam, he /knew/ he’d get her and (so) he /did/! he didn’t even have to try!! but in philly dennis “knows” that he’s the man for (caylee, mac, literally anyone) but it comes off as creepy not charming thus hes often rejected and humiliated.

dee is the female voice of reason (yeah ik the origin of kaitlins dee shut up let me talk), and yet her schemes and beliefs are just as titled as the boys. now look at this: lisa simpsons job wasnt to actually convince her dad or brother that their idea was dangerous. lisa’s job was to call attention to just how fucking stupid the male leads r. plus she’s a chick and implicit lesbo so she doubles as a punching bag. just like dee. cept dee isn’t super smart or musically inclined, the only thing she really has going for her is the gang. and the fact that she’s probably the best off in terms of not destroying her own life. which lets her have this unearned sense of superiority similar to dennis’ because she ~knows~ that she’s the voice of reason. what she doesn’t know is why even after she’s proven that that’s not who she WANTS to be anymore the guys still refuse to treat her like a real member of the gang even though she so obviously is. even tho the guys know she’s just as good (bad) as they are. lisa simpson, the chick from seinfeld, and lois griffin are all fine and good and are funny because deep down lois CHOSE to marry peter, lisa explicitly LOVES her family DESPITE their flaws. but dee is UNLOVED. there’s no point in her being there other than to contradict, not cos she necessarily wants to but the gang actively avoids giving her attention for anything else. so now you’ve got the voice of reason trope desperately trying to prove their own unreasonableness in an attempt to be liked. the boys resist. she acts up. they give her enough of a nod for her to stay for another drink. meanwhile the gang is getting into increasingly stupid and dangerous schemes because the voice of reason prefers not being shit on. almost like how a real person would react to being forced into that position. huh.

charlie and mac r sort of make up one; they’re the gang (ik ik) they’re dennis’ gang. the chandler and the other one. the “leading mans” sidekicks who are happy to go along with whatever plan, happy to let him get the girl, happy to remind him of how perfect he is when he’s down. (which obviously mac and charlie are NOT happy about ANY of that and HATE that dennis treats them like they are.) It’s also maybe important to note that usually the “leader” of the group is the one who brought the three friends together. dennis just crashed mac and charlie’s twosome one day and never left. mac and charlie support dennis but only out of annoyance or in macs case sometimes something deeper. either way, it’s out of trope. really they shouldn’t be able to function without dennis telling them how to. but at this point it seems like they’re better off without him around.

but charlie is also his own trope. Cause the thing is…charlie works as a lovable goofball, the slob with a heart of gold, socially awkward sure but deep down he wouldn’t hurt a fly. except. he would hurt a fly. he is a self-proclaimed “rat-basher”, hes the only character to explicitly say the n word, he stalks and assaults the waitress (her trope is p obvious. perfect girl that the loser drools over, she rejects him.) to the point of her actually breaking and agreeing to HAVE HIS KID (need a whole new post abt those beans jfc)

NOW. i ask you…what usually happens in tv shows with the charlie/waitress dynamic? typically i’d say that throughout the course of the show the audience realizes that the supposed “perfect girl” is actually a bitch and that it’s actually the unassuming, more natural looking, lead girl who should get together with the charlie character. depending on the show, maybe she’s the girl who’s been helping him chase his supposed dream girl. or she’s the girl who is, up until the big reveal, his lesbian-coded best friend who is SICK of hearing about this girl. or maybe shes just always been there, but he’s never considered her because they’ve been friends for so long, they’ve known each other since they were kids, maybe she isnt even on the table and she’s dating his friend, or she was dating his friend, or maybe…because she’s the sister of his friend. his friends TWIN sister. see where i’m going with this? it’s dee. dee and charlie are the b couple. the dwight and angela. they’re the obvious couple.maybe you didn’t see it at first but once it’s suggested you can’t unsee it. and when they DO get together. it’s like they always were. they’re the caring, devoted, consistent couple that the audience can lean on when things get messy in the other characters relationships. and yet. dee and charlie already DID get together. and apparently they hated it. hated it so much that charlie (the poor guy trope) wanted to stop and dee (girl next door trope) FORCES him to finish. not to mention neither of them seem all that interested in a caring consistent relationship. at least not with each other. why would they be?

and what would a B couple be without an A couple? but how do you even go about satirizing an A couple? they’re meant to stay in a “will they won’t they” for at least five seasons, and when they inevitably do get together it’s full of cheating and lying and breaks. cause thats what makes an A couple interesting to watch. they’re “meant to be” and yet still have to work through the issues that all relationships face. and if it’s a sitcom this is usually funny because all the audience and characters have ever wanted was for the A couple to be official, but now that they are there’s somehow even MORE conflict within the show. sound like anyone? macdennis. but dennis (leading man) wasn’t prepared for a SECOND leading MAN. no one ever told him he was going to be expected to share the limelight. he assumed he’d meet his girl and he would know and so would she and then she’d happily stand behind him forever. not next to him. she certainly wouldn’t ever try and step IN FRONT OF DENNIS. like mac does. now remember that none of the characters, except possibly dee, know that they are filling out a trope. but dennis is the golden god. of course he knows. and that is why he is or was or whatever actively ensuring that he and mac would never be together in a way that could potentially over shadow denniss “guaranteed” leading lady, and more importantly dennis. and even more important. leading men. are not. and have never. been gay. (debatable but i digress)

so a couple b couple who cares? i cares. cause taylor swift doesn’t rape the guy at the end of “You Belong With Me”. b couples exist as a more palatable A couple. meant to be without the drama. so this is extremely out of trope for chardee. yk what ELSE is out of trope? macs coming out. yeah we’ve all touched on how fucked that must’ve felt from dens pov but here’s the thing. by coming out, mac was able to confirm that the A couple, in fact, WILL. and most likely already HAVE. but he did this alone. he and dennis didn’t come out together, mac doesn’t think about dennis at all in find his pride, mac being gay is his. and that leaves dennis with…the knowledge that he and mac ARE the A couple. not only that, but apparently mac can satisfy that trope all by himself. macs outness is obnoxious. it’s like he’s bragging about it. showing it off. it’s how everything was, but. worse. he doesn’t even need anyone to do the annoying A couple stuff, the parade around, the delusion that no one could have possibly known. he doesn’t need dennis. but it’s pretty clear that at least some part of mac still WANTS dennis. and was expecting dennis to too. but that’s not real life. imagine you’re in a “will they won’t they” for DECADES and then, out of nowhere, ur partner says “yeah no we will.” and everyone believes them. they don’t even need to spare a glance at you because they’ve always kinda known and now thanks to “your other half” they always will know for sure. no matter what you do. now there’s an expectation.

and (full circle u guys) dennis’ trope doesn’t usually call for meeting expectations. he’s attractive and charming, he’s supposed to be able to coast until he looks up and realizes he gs everything he ever wanted. but now he’s 44. and he has everything he never wanted. his abusive (not)father is best friends and the father of? HIS highschool best friend, his other best friend is an asshole who is somehow an asshole abt: being gay, dennis being gay, being gay for dennis, dennis not validating that when he expected him to. and his sister, who has been firmly planted against him since they were kids. hes starving and he’s a legit alcoholic, the gross kind, and all he’s ever done is get a diagnosis that makes his friends treat him weird and abandon his son who is named after a stranger to everyone. and i’ll prolly make a king post abt it but dennis has been showing subtle signs of edging towards (another) extreme breaking point and idk what it’s abt (fingers crossed mac uwu ihatemyself )but i’m just saying that dennis’ mentality has kind of always directed the group in a direct way (whether dynamics, psyche, finances, lives, time, etc) so that’s innerestin

and so now i say the most cracked out part of the post. this theory is giving me untapped amounts of hope that the only way the show can end is with the gang finally settling and finding happiness or they all commit group suicide. and idk abt u but those are the only two endings i’m interested in seeing.

[roguestarsailor]

You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.

It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.

Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???

the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???

like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??

this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need  a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!

everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is). 

Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo??? 

then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt  feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too!  but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.

rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her???  i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too. 

i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand  2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre

but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird. 

anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.

[tenderlyrenjun]

hi again this is the anon that asked u to "WRITE WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT ❤❤❤" !!

im so sorry about the people who send u hate in ur inbox i literally don't understand why people do that especially when they know someone has clearly spent time and effort to create something lol

AND SEEING THE WAY U TITLED UR SCENES FOR NEW AXIS JUST MADE ME SO MUCH MORE EXCITED FOR IT 😭 i love ur details and the way u titled them seem so clever... ugh so creative literally THANK U who cares if it's hella long i will read every single WORD. i suppose long fics aren't for everyone, which is understandable, but for them to ask u to stop doing it and say dumb shit like "u expect me to read this" is just ridiculous

since we're talking about time out I REALLY LIKED THE WAY JENO CONFESSED TOO but i ESPECIALLY ENJOYED the part where he's in the process of realising he's in love with her and he thinks back to all the exchanges they had and the things he said to her and FINALLY understands why she reacted a certain way towards him AND YES that scene where she asked if they could go slow I WAS LITERALLY like omg?? she loves him this is REAL now and then SHE CONFESSED oh my god i just was so invested

i ALSO loved that she kinda knew of him and found him attractive before they started really interacting like she noticed the things he did and thought he was sweet but then oh, he has a gf... idk i just think it's so cute that at the start to jeno she was just some girl in his class and then she's that bitch from the ice rink who hates him for some reason THEN . LOVERS ?!?? UGH just SUCH A NICE PROGRESSION

i wish more people could read and appreciate ur work bc they are literally masterpieces to me 💔 will do my best to send u my love frm now on!!!!!!!!!

hey ~~~

yeah, the anon stuff rn is just ._. it's one thing to not like my writing and it's another to not like me. idk, it feels personal and vengeful, and, like, probably deserve

with the titles, I did this for time out too, just because the section titles are exact phrases that trigger exactly the moment I'm trying to write, like with all the scenes, I can almost physically see it happening, which is why there are so many words and I try not to show so much, which is why it's not overly descriptive and why thought/feelings sometimes replaces the descriptions. It's just a neat trick I picked up from therapy because sometimes I lose track of what I'm doing irl or what I'm saying and I have to comb back the last few minutes to figure out what I wanted. but with new axis, these section titles are, like, kinda vague but they're purposeful - I know exactly what the scenes are, what the goals are, which people are in it, but I only have a few dialogue points really pinned on, so far.

there was a poll a bit ago asking readers what they like and a lot of people liked one shots within the <6k range(?) I think, so when I go more than 10k, I try to apologize that it's so long, or I include in the summary notes that whatever they're there for is in the fic - eg, I've explicitly stated that time out has four sex scenes because I know that most people read for the smut. Idk, I know that I'm not the only one who writes >10k, but it's usually smut-only writers who stay less than 6k because they're mostly writing porn, which isn't a bad thing or anything, but it's a different to write a goal (eg, an orgasm) than to write a plot (eg, conflict, climax (pun intended), ending).

yeah, the part when jeno realizes he's in love is sooooooo ‼️‼️‼️❕❕❕ like, he's essentially in love with the reader in the prequel, like at the end when he wants time to pause and he finds that he kinda enjoys the hug, and he's literally in love with the reader throughout all of time out just by wanting to hold her hand and walking her places and being jealous, but he doesn't know it until he, like, learns more about her, which is just something I personally like about love: constantly learning and growing with your partner; it's neat and makes love long lasting, so I think that's why the ending is kinda satisfying(? maybe). And everything goes back full circle too - the reader tells him three things that she knows about him in the prequel; the reader tells jeno three reasons why she's pissed off at him at the gym; jeno thinks of three reasons why he's "pissed off" at her at the end of the gym sex scene; they have three rules and they're all broken by the both of them, almost equally because they know each other so well. And because they know each other so well - when jeno tells the reader (in response, in the prequel, to "can you tell me one thing? I gave you three") that he knows she goes to the ice rink before games and eat mflurries, that exact thing happens in the actual main part. they kinda get this validation from their friends that they (jeno and the reader) are the only ones who hate each other and that they "hate" each other (even though they literally never say I hate you) because they're so similar. So jeno easily finds himself defending the reader, which makes him realize that he knows a lot about her, which makes him realize oh shit I've been in love this whole time, that's what this feeling is. And he's racking his brain for literally every interaction - the whole "do you even know my major" thing with his injured thumb, the whole reaction to "not all of us have airhead majors and hobbies", the literature paper which has nothing to do with biology and reinforces his idea that the reader is a liberal arts major but he's not always right nor does he ever say the right thing - it's like a red herring to say unless you know the reader, you can't find her during finals week; she's a bio major if you ask anyone else (like na jaemin), but she's still a student who has to take GED classes. yeah, he fell in love already and he just has to recognize it.

The fic is mostly from Jeno's POV EXCEPT that one part when the reader asks "can we go slow" and that's ! literally ! on ! purpose ! cause, like, I wanted people to think "oh this is IT; it's the big moment, and you get to feel what they're feeling", except nah, it's not, because jeno talked himself out of those butterflies in his stomach just the scene before. I've had this scene in my head forever - I literally wrote the entire fic around "you remain in his bed, like an innocent virgin who doesn't know what to do, even though your preceding actions very clearly said otherwise"; like, that was a predetermined like from a year ago before I decided to make this into Jeno's pov for the heartbreak and obliviousness. And then, you're kinda like the reader (literally, ha), feeling utterly sad (or should be) because you just had your heartbroken, but then the next few scenes are like an insight to him being heartbroken too and it's like why tf is he heartbroken when he rejected you literally before you could get the words out? And it's because he's literally in love and he has to realize it. and yeah.

Yeah!!! It's strangers to enemies to lovers. He just hates her because he had a bad first impression, which is, like, a nod to Renjun saying that Jeno was intimidating (cold) upon first meeting, and also another reference to the prequel when he thinks that "the worst kind of time travel is this one, where you two are on opposite schedules" but oh oh oh, we come to find out that the reason was his fault.

prev ask

time out prequel | time out main part

new axis preview

[dog-teeth]

would it be okay to ask u to talk abt bottom growth on T? it's the one thing that keeps me hesitating from starting T since I don't mind the other effects (voice drop is my main reason) and ik arousal increases but is there anything else that changes or u didn't expect or anything like that? if not that's okay tho!

yes of course! on one hand im a little :/ abt taking too much abt it bc its my genitals and theres 20k people listening, but i think we need to normalize and be open about trans bodies esp in a nonsexual context, so i want to do it! TMI ahead lol.

i was really really afraid of bottom growth before taking T, it was the main reason i didnt want to start T earlier. its really weird to think about ur genitals changing! its scary! i thought i might hate it and do something to my body i could never change back. at first, it was very strange, and as i mentioned previously it was uncomfortable at first bc the skin becomes v sensitive as it grows at first, and the sensations i experienced were different than they were pre-T but as i continued T, the change became less and less startling, and now im completely used to it. like all changes it just took a little getting used to. but now im very happy with it, i think its good and cute and hot and cool, and its a part of my body so im proud of it. at first it was kinda physically uncomfortable and emotionally strange, but now im completely content with it.

i think a lot of my fear came not from my personal reaction to the change, but the reaction future partners would have, because trans genitals are less common so i thought people might be weirded out. but then i realized i wouldnt want to be with anyone who thought my body was weird or bad, hrt or not, and i would never be with someone who wasnt okay with my transness and my trans body. plus my partners are almost always also trans, so i realized i didnt have anything to worry about.

overall, it was scary and weird pre-T and at the beginning but now its rad 👌

i would be fine with talking more explicitly about the sexual aspects in private messages, but since minors follow me i dont want to talk about nsfw things publicly.