#u ever start a styling with a Theme in mind but lose track of it the moment u accidentally make an interesting combination....

[momo-shut-the-fuck-up]

[boymeetsweevil]

MBD - 04

Grouping: Reader x Yoongi

Word Count: <8k

Summary: Three lessons to be learned: 1) don’t read the comments. Ever. 2) Baking will never let you down. 3) Don’t tease Yoongi.

Warnings/Themes: Angst?? Heavy doses of body image and related unhealthy behaviors, low self-esteem, cyberbullying? May be triggering for some. Some suggestive content. A jealous Yoongi.

part 0, part 1, part 2, part 3

A few more days pass through your break from work. Yoongi stayed with you the morning after coming back from the club to help you nurse your hangover, but he’d been in the dorms and studio since then. This left you with extra time on your hands.

In that time, you visited your best friend and your cousin who both lived deeper in the city, a mere hour’s ride from your apartment in the outskirts. You also got ahead on some work despite the fact that your boss gave you strict warnings about fully enjoying the break after seeing how hard you worked on the project for the quarter. But eventually you ran out work you could do and had nothing left but Netflix and the internet.

As it turns out, being alone with the internet ends up being a horrible set of circumstances. Curiosity and boredom get the best of you, and you find yourself breaking a cardinal rule.

You google Yoongi to see what pops up and get recent news about him being spotted with a lady friend. You know better, but optimism pulls you in and you’re opening up one of the articles. Apparently a fan that snuck into the VIP booth snapped a picture of you dancing with him at the club you went to a few days prior. Yoongi looks handsome with his bare face half obscured by his mask and a soft expression as he looks at you. But you let out a raspy gasp at your picture.

The only good thing about the photo is that your face is turned away from the camera, leaving your identity barely undiscovered. But your neck is coated with sweat, gleaming under the club lights. In the picture, the dance-move you’re doing is frozen, awkward and contorted, your body looks all wrong. With the powerful camera flash, you can see all the spots on your clothes where sweat had accumulated, all the spots where your amateur makeup skills failed. There’s no grace, no elegance, no dignity afforded to you in the photo.  It’s not the first time you’ve seen of yourself in a random pap site or careless photos. But it’s by far the worst one you’ve seen.

Like a magnet is drawing you there, even though your stomach already feels like shards of ice are forming inside it, you break a second cardinal rule. You read the comments.

It’s amazing that she feels comfortable looking like that when there’s a literal GOD standing next to her. I could never do that. I wouldn’t even leave the house

Why is something like this allowed when there are much prettier girls to pick from?

I don’t think Yoongi would be stupid enough to date this girl, the picture probably just makes it look like they’re together when they’re obvi not

actually I think this is the same girl in that ##0524 photo. Look (image01) same hairstyle and earrings. I think she just turned into a blimp...

Guys plz be nice u don’t know this person. Maybe she has a really great personality

so? This is what she gets for trying too hard to cling to Yoongi

Yo it’s prolly cuz she’s rich. You see those leggings? I didn’t even think they made them in that size but they’re from that brand IU wears. And they’re like $250 :0

She wasn’t even that pretty before this but now I REALLY don’t get it. Yoongi~~ there are skinnier girls who would suit u better

Load 675 more...

You slam your laptop shut before fumbling for your phone. Breathing levelly, you’re the picture of eerie calm with the exception of the way your hands tremble. You pull up your text messages to text your best friend when you stop yourself. While the company knows that you’re dating, you’re not allowed to disclose any information about Yoongi or the relationship to any third parties. To the public he’s still single despite his dating clause having expired long before you even met. And there’s no way to explain what you’re going through to your friend without bringing up your secret boyfriend’s stardom.

So who can you turn to, you wonder. You can’t tell your friends. You can’t tell your mother either. As much as you love her, she’d spill the secret in minutes out of well-meaning pride. And there’s no way you can tell Yoongi.

Taking a deep breath in through your nose, you hold it for as long as you can before shoving a pillow over your face and screaming.  All that’s left to show for the few minutes you spend screaming is the fact that you feel about 1% better and your now-hoarse voice. But the relief doesn’t last. The relief leaves room for heat to rise on your skin. Annoyance fills all your empty spaces. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and feel more anger.

Maybe you just aren’t working hard enough and people can just see that. Maybe you just aren’t being productive, you haven’t earned your spot yet. You hop off the bed and look around the room, almost frantic in your search for something to work on and actually improve.

Start with a deep clean, you tell yourself.

Two days later when Yoongi comes over, you’re still in the process of purging your tiny apartment.

“What’s all this,” he kicks gently at the garbage bags full of clothes littering the walkway to your bedroom. You jump at the sound of his voice, having forgotten that he mentioned coming over.

“I’m just doing some tidying up. I started with towel folding videos on YouTube and ended up realizing I have a hoarding problem.”

“I don’t think having dust bunnies under your bed counts as hoarding, but okay.” He searches for some space on your bed to sit in. The duvet’s surface is also covered in a mixture of old clothes and little knick knacks you’ve had since before you graduated college. “I didn’t realize you had so many clothes.”

You watch him pick up a spaghetti string top that you hadn’t gotten around to sorting yet. He gestures towards the two trash bags full of clothes on the floor.

“Put it in that one,” you point to the one furthest from the bed.

“Is this the donate pile?” He folds the shirt almost neatly and places it on the top of the other items with a sympathetic pat.

“Uh, no.”

“Then what is it? Looks like you already have everything you’re keeping,” he peers into your stocked closet.

“That’s actually the...inspiration pile,” you explain quietly.

“What?”

“It’s the stuff I'm gonna keep as motivation for me to lose weight.”

“Oh,” you’re surprised to see what looks like faint disappointment in Yoongi’s eyes as your words register. “I mean...makes sense.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I mean that’s one route you could take.”

“Is there another route?”  You turn to face him fully from your spot on the ground with a confused smile. The shoes you were organizing lay unattended.

“Well, you could not lose the weight,” he shrugs.

You avert your gaze to the ceiling, as if the true meaning of his words will be scribed there. It sounds as though he’s suggesting you don’t try to get back down to where you were before the huge project your boss assigned you, but you figure that can’t be it.

“I just mean that you could donate these,” he points at the clothes in the inspiration pile. “Some of them look like they’re brand new—I’ve never even seen you in them. And you could just get some new clothes.”

“You mean like ones that fit me now?”

“Or like before.” He shrugs. “Your style was nice, I don’t know why you changed it.”

“It changed because nothing I had before fits now. So I have to wear this other stuff.” You’re talking about the shapeless sweaters and the monotonous greyscale pants.

“You don’t have to.”

He makes a valid point, but it’s a small one. Besides, there’s something else you’re digging for. “So you really think I should buy bigger clothes?”

“Yes,” he says, like it’s so simple.

“Okay...but these clothes are supposed to be there to motivate me to lose the weight. If I just get a new wardrobe, that’ll mean the motivation is gone.”

“Okay,” he draws out the syllables while waiting to hear what your point is.

“That means I’ll stay like this.”

“What do you mean ‘like this’? What’s wrong with that?”

Your fists clench at your side as you think back to the photos of you in the club. And the comments from the netizens all saying roughly the same thing. With the puzzled way he stands there and looks at you, you feel another wave of frustration rise up. Did he really not see what was happening? Was he really going to make you say it?

“Hey,” he peers down at the veins rearing against the skin of your hands. “I mean it. What’s wrong?”

He gets up like the discussion is about to go somewhere but his phone ringing loudly with the little jingle reserved for one of his producer buddies stops the conversation in its tracks. You take this as a moment to shoo him out your place before your head explodes. Yoongi looks conflicted, he truly does. Still, he answers the call dutifully and gives a few affirmative words to assure that he is going to be at the studio soon and is ready to work. The call is short, but the mood is still tense like an angry, trapped breath.

“I have, like, 5 more minutes before I have to go—”

“You know what? Never mind. You’re clearly busy with studio stuff and I’m...busy too.”

With steely eyes, you take the clothes he was trying to help you with and add them to your own pile. He picks up the few things he brought with him in his brief visit and eyes you like he wants to say more. His gaze lingers over the sides of your face like a regretful touch and you turn to the side to shrug it off.

Another beep from his phone shatters the gossamer thin atmosphere further. He sighs and pulls his phone back out before hunching his shoulders.

“Can I use your laptop to check my email really quickly before I go? They just sent me a file and I can’t open it on my—”

“Yeah, yeah, just take it with you. I don’t need it,” you cut him off and wave a hand in the direction of your computer.

He looks almost upset when he gathers your laptop in his arms with the rest of his things, but doesn’t push the issue any further. The air is too tight for anything, even a genuine goodbye. Your throat is sore with oncoming angry tears and you just want him out.

The door shuts behind him softly, in place of the usual goodbye kiss. You wait until you know he’s gone let it all out.

*** Yoongi opens your laptop when he’s in the back of the car taking him to the studio. It takes him a minute to remember your password, but he logs on with minimal difficulty and the last thing you were looking at pops up obediently.

The rest of your break from work passes without a visit from Yoongi again. It’s not a coincidence. It’s because you turned your phone off for 48 hours and even after you turn it back on, you mute all other notifications and only look at it to check your work email and tell your friends that you’re ‘unplugging for a bit’.

In that time, you get all your clothes sorted. You burn through an entire fitness-based podcast series.  You declutter your whole apartment. But there’s still an unpleasant buzzing under your skin that doesn’t go away. Even with the reintroduction of at-home cardio and the shady water fast you did that promised a lifted mood and a loss of 2 pounds.

Then you’re home from work one day, and you find yourself pacing all around the rooms of your place. You’re fed up with bottling things up, but you don’t know what to do with this knowledge. Yes, it’s nice to realize that everything you’d been chasing wasn’t worth the torture you put yourself through, but you can’t seem to get any further. So you try baking. And when that doesn’t put you at ease immediately, you break down and call Yoongi.

Yoongi picks up immediately. Part of you is surprised because he’s been working on new mixtape stuff and when that happens he’s usually unreachable. But another part of you isn’t surprised because, to him, you dropped off the face of the earth after a near-argument and he’s still technically on break from promotions for a little while longer. There’s no reason not to be answering the phone. In spite of all this, his tone is a tentative mix of concern and relief that has you blinking in confusion before curtly telling him you wanted to talk at your place.

He arrives in a defensive cocoon of layers and squared off features. Only one of the two he sheds at the coat rack by your front door before going to find you in the kitchen, just finishing shoving dozens of muffins into the oven.

“Hey,” he says after clearing his throat to make his presence known.

“Hey.” You turn around and remove the oven mitts you’re wearing. “We need to talk about some things.”

“I know,” he chuckles humorlessly. “I saw that shit on your computer.”

Your brow furrows in thought as you recall the last thing you used your laptop for. Recollection comes eventually. Briefly you wonder if Yoongi read past the top comments. If he gave into the urge to comb through every single one to satisfy morbid curiosity. You nod.

“It definitely has to do with that.”

“Fuck what those people are saying. You don’t need to change or to—to keep an inspiration pile.”

At that, you groan. Your fingers tap on the countertop impatiently. “Can you please stop saying stuff like that?”

“What? That you’re perfect the way you are?” He spits.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not true.”

“Why wouldn’t it be true?”

Frustrated tears well up in the corners of your eyes because while you get that this isn’t an issue he’d ever have to worry about, part of you still don’t understand how he doesn’t get it. He’s trying so hard to be a good, romantic boyfriend that he doesn’t even see how much he misses. It’s supposed to be comforting, you’re sure, but it only infuriates you.

“Because I don’t fucking match you like this!”

He jumps at the sound of your raised voice, eyes wide. “Match me? What the hell?”

“You heard me,” you mumble.

“Yeah, I fucking heard you, but it still doesn’t make any sense. You’re not signed to some stupid contract, you’re not mandated to do anything with your body.”

“Haven’t I, though? I signed that fucking non-disclosure agreement after all. And I get a fucking angry call from your PR agents every time I show up in your pap photos, even though my face is never in them.” At this point you’re pacing again. This time it’s in tight circles in front of your fridge. “You said it yourself, you saw those awful comments. You saw how mad people get when I don’t show myself in just the right way. Those fans ripped me apart, Yoongi.” Your voice cracks and you curse yourself for being an angry crier. Crossing your arms around yourself, you try your best to beat back the tears.

“So you’re going to let a few fans tell you how to feel?”

“A few fans?” You’re close to laughter. “Try six hundred comments on one photo. Six hundred comments about the person who isn’t even the celebrity. And then multiply that by the number of times someone’s caught me at an unflattering angle or when I was bloating or when I started gaining weight back for real. Do the fucking math, Yoongi.”

That shuts him down instantly. Immediately worry replaces the incredulity. “I—how many times has this happened? Is this not the first time?”

You sigh at his ignorance. “No, but this is first time I was dumb enough to read the comments.”

“Why didn’t you say anything the first time something like this happened?” Yoongi’s face is full of distraught guilt. It’s hard for you to look at.

“What do you want me to say? Did you really want to hear me say all this stuff about some of your fans? These are people that love you. And you love them.”

“I love you, too. You know that,” he whispers, voice raw with emotion.

You can only sigh again because you do know. He does love you. He loves you perhaps too much. At this point, it seems like he’s so infatuated with you that he can’t fathom that people would have issues with you. But he’s also so in love with his career that you don’t have the heart to show him the things you’re facing. The dissonance would be too much to add to his already-full plate. And knowing Yoongi, he might do something stupid and get himself in trouble with his own fans. You’d hate to be the cause of something like that in his career.

The oven beeps and you use that as an excuse to escape the way his eyes shine as he contemplates just how much he wasn’t aware of until now.

He leans on the doorframe to watch you pull out the muffins from the oven and drop them unceremoniously onto the stovetop. The muffins are perfectly golden-brown and give off a warm, sweet scent that fills the kitchen quickly. You stand silent with your back to him, shoulders rising with the careful breaths you’re forcing yourself to take.

“Do you still love me,” his voice is small when it floats over to you.

“Ughh,” you claw at your face with your oven mitts. “Of course I do. I wouldn’t have asked you over if I didn’t. But...you have to understand that this is hard for me.”

“And what is ‘this’?

You turn and lean back against the counter, gesturing vaguely with a gloved hand. “This idol thing.” He tilts his head, not understanding. “I just mean that you have this amazing image because you’re out in the spotlight and I don’t want to sully that for you by...not looking like I should.”

“Why do you care about what other people think so much?”

“That’s so easy for you to say when people love you and you look like that. It’s different for regular people.” Your voice cracks once more as the shine lighting up your eyes breaks and runs down your cheeks. “It’s different because I’m already not deserving of you in their eyes. I can’t be regular and not look perfect.”

His hard demeanor softens at the sound of your sniffles and he comes to pull you into his chest, smoothing over your back. “Baby, there’s nothing wrong with the way you look.”

“I know that,” you sob. “I know that there’s nothing wrong with me, but you’ve seen what people say on those stupid forums. No amount of self-confidence could protect anyone from that shit.”

“Can I ask you something,” he says softly after a few aching moments of listening to you try to rein in your breathing.

“Y-yeah.”

“Who are the most important people in your life?”

“Huh?” You look up at him with watery lashes and he wonders how you could ever find fault with what you see in the mirror.

“Whose opinion matters to you most?”

“I don’t know,” you rub wet cheeks against the fabric of his top and think. “My boss since he pays me, obviously. And coworkers, I guess. My friends, definitely. My family, although they’re pretty easy to ignore.” He snorts. “A-and you,” you add on at the end hastily.

He gives you a sad smile when you look up at him. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“I mean...doesn’t how you feel matter? You just listed a bunch of other people.”

“Of course what I feel matters,” you say suddenly. You push back from him to clear your head. The tears have stopped flowing, though your cheeks are still wet. “I just can’t go through the world only ever hearing or caring about what I think. But I like myself, Yoongi.”

He nods seriously.

“Even if it doesn’t seem like it because I’m shy sometimes, or quiet. I like myself. But it still hurts to have people tell me they think I shouldn’t. I’m not the type of person who doesn’t react when people attempt to hurt me. That’s the part that hurts the most, I think. Knowing that it was their goal all along.”

“I get that. Or,” He purses his lips, “I think I do. I want to get it, anyway.”

You give him a weak smile because he’s cute, even in moments like this.

He squeezes your hand before bringing it to his lips. It’s not quite a kiss, just him brushing his lips against your skin while he talks. “But I still want to be there for you. And I hate that I could only guess when you were hurting.”

“I should have told you, but I was embarrassed.”

“Why would you be embarrassed?” He moves back to pull up a chair at your dining room table. His gaze is genuine and engaged as he looks to you for an answer.

“I’ve been dieting since the company approved us dating privately. This is the first time I’ve been...normal around you. I was worried you’d have this epiphany. That I’m not who you thought I was.”

“Do you remember the first night we met,” he asks all of the sudden.

“Yeah? You came to visit me at work and freaked my supervisor out. She still has that napkin you autographed.”

“That’s not the first night we met,” he shakes his head and chuckles. “We first met at my party. The one your cousin brought you to.”

“Oh, god. I hardly remember that, I was so drunk. I think I blocked it out.”

“You looked like this back then,” he smiles softly at you, memories of that night settling over the surroundings as they play out in front of him.

“Yeah, I know,” you nod softly, eyes averted.

“And you were so pretty that night too.” His gaze turns slightly salacious. “In that little shiny dress you wore—what ever happened to that?”

“You’re dumb,” you shove him with a simpering smile. He merely grins before pulling you slightly closer towards where he’s seated at the kitchen table.

“You still have it?”

“Oh my god, leave me alone.”

He leans into your space, making you duck your head to hide the way your cheeks flare up at his personal attention. Seeing you like this makes something coil in his belly. In due time, he thinks as he backs off. In due time, he’ll really give it to you. But in the meantime he behaves and doesn’t do anything more than intertwine your fingers together.

“I’m donating the clothes from the inspiration bag,” you mumble into his hair.

He pulls back and is careful to keep his face neutral. “Yeah?”

“I did a lot of thinking. And I realized that I don’t think I can say I really like myself if I keep forcing myself into this...mold.”

His brows furrow, lips pouting prettily as he focuses on following your train of thought. “So, what does that mean now?”

“So, this is me. For a long time probably, unless something major happens. I’m telling you so it can sink in. This is your out.”

“Okay,” he stands up from his chair slowly. Large, warm hands come to cup your face tenderly. “And this is me telling you I don’t want an out.”

“Okay,” you breathe out a sigh of relief so deep you don’t know where it came from.

“Glad that much is worked out,” he says before planting a sweet kiss on your cheek. “Hey.”

“What?”

“Can I have a muffin?”

You roll your eyes but go and get a plate from the cabinet. He watches you carefully as you hesitate at the oven before gingerly putting two muffins on the plate. When you return to the table, you mumble something about just wanting to see if they came out good and he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he takes a bite of one of your rare instances of culinary genius. He lets out a moan that makes your eyes widen and you take a bite before nodding to yourself.

“Just open a bakery already,” he says with a semi-full mouth and reaches out with grabby hands until you get the message to leave your chair. He pulls you into his lap and you try not to feel too self-conscious as you settle your thighs on top of his own. His hand lands on top of your lap casually, large hands splaying out on top to squeeze affectionately at the softness he finds there.

You worry you’re cutting off the blood supply to his legs but he sits happily with you in his lap and even kicks a little rhythm out while finishing his muffin. You get up and he snags the untouched part of your muffin before pulling his phone out of his pocket.

There’s a stream of messages in the group chat asking about his whereabouts and what he wants to do tonight. He answers that he’s with you and the other members all complain about how long it’s been since you visited them. Jungkook even tells Yoongi to bring you over to his place since they’re having a small kickback with just themselves and your post-break workload is still light. He purses his lips and asks for a raincheck, not wanting to push you into being on just yet.

***

A few days pass and the messages get more and more annoying as the other members whine about not having seen neither Yoongi nor you in far too long. So during one of the last days of their break, while he’s trying to dictate a cookie recipe to you, he breaks down at the 13th ping from his phone in a short period.

“Do you want to come hang out with me and the guys tonight?”

Normally if you’re invited over, you jump at the chance because you love getting out of your apartment and you like seeing Yoongi in his element with the people he’s closest to. But you don’t jump on the invitation now because it’s been so long since you last saw the guys and you know that you looked different then.

“I don’t know,” you fold toasted almonds into the cookie dough.

“Why not?”

“You know why,” you sigh. “And as nice as they are, I don’t really want to deal with the ‘did you do something with your hair’ or ‘wow you look so different’ comments.”

“They’re not gonna say that, they’re not total assholes. Look, if anyone says or does anything stupid, I’ll rip them a new one and take you back here.”

You purse your lips while you think it over. “And then will you stay the night?”

“If something stupid happens, I’ll cancel my studio appointment and stay over,” he smiles at you, eyes crinkling. “I’ll tell them we’re on our way now.”

“I can’t leave now,” your hands flutter up as you go from 0 to 60. “I’m a mess, I need to—”

“It’s just the guys. There’s literally no one there worth impressing. I would know.”

“Fine,” you groan. “Just let me change. I’m covered in flour.”

In your room, you find yourself unsure of what to put on. You no longer have any of the clothes you used to wear when you needed to feel like you objectively looked good. But you do have the gorgeous leggings Yoongi gifted you. You switch out your current shirt for a cleaner one and slip on a pair you’ve become obsessed with.

Yoongi punches in the code to the front door of Jungkook’s apartment while you hold the tin of cookies you made. Your fingers slip against the container due to having grown a bit clammy on the ride over. It took a heinous amount of time to wrap them in a way that would keep them warm all during the ride across the city. And now you’re nervous despite the fact that Yoongi sensed it in the car and hurled reassurance after reassurance at you.

But when Namjoon pulls the door open and greets both of you with a smile and a hug and no weird looks, you let out a tiny sigh of relief.

The guys crowd around you after Yoongi announces that you baked. Hoseok mumbles to himself about Yoongi hiding you purposefully so he could hoard your baking and takes two cookies for good measure. Jungkook says thank you politely before splitting one with Jimin. Taehyung takes two for himself and Namjoon and tells you ‘welcome back’. While the rest of the members snack, you count off the remaining sweets in the container and realize you didn’t give any to Jin.

The oldest member is standing in the hallway, drinking from a glass of water and scrolling through his phone when you find him. He must not have gotten the memo that you arrived, so you make your presence known by softly clearing your throat.

“Long time no see,” you smile at Jin.

He peers at you over the rim of his glass for a few long beats and you work to keep your smile natural. You can’t help but worry that he’s looking at the way you’ve has changed since he last saw you, chiseling away at the outside to see the familiar you he knows underneath.

“I guess it has been,” he finally says when he drains his glass. He leans back to rest his back on the wall. “Whatcha got there?”

“Oh, um, they’re just some cookies I made today. Yoongi had been bugging me about making them and I gave some to the others. I just thought I’d see if you wanted any.”

“I’ve always liked your baking.” He reaches out and plucks a cookie from the tin. A second later half of the cookie is gone. He chews thoughtfully.

“This is a new recipe, so I don’t know if it’s as good as it could be. I haven’t had much time for experimenting in the kitchen with work up until now so they might be—”

“I can only imagine how good they were when they first came out of the oven,” he finishes the rest and cuts your rambling off.

You stand there, oddly nervous, while he chews. When he finishes, he watches you fiddle with the lid so the cookies don’t get stale.

“Something’s changed about you,” Jin says finally, his eyes moving from your hair to your toes. You nearly drop the tin in your fumbling, and cringe from both the comment and your clumsiness.

“Yeah, I... gained some weight recently,” you blurt out in the hopes that it’ll be less uncomfortable if you’re the one to say it. But it’s not.

“Hmm,” Jin’s eyes rove over you more thoroughly, making you stand ramrod straight. “I don’t think that’s it. It’s something else, I think.”

“Oh. Well I don’t know, then.”

“What’s going on,” Yoongi’s voice creeps into the mix.

When you turn your head, you’re greeted with the sight of Yoongi in the doorway. He looks comfortably settled against the doorframe, like he’s been there for a while. His gaze isn’t directed at you, but at Jin, you realize. A quick glance back shows that they’re both looking at one another.

“Nothing. We were just talking.” Jin shrugs before walking over to you. A hand on the small of your back brings you with him and up to Yoongi.

Yoongi fixes Jin with a narrowed stare. “The guys were wondering where you both were. They want to play a game together.”

“We were here. No need to worry about us.”

“Well, why don’t you go in and tell them that? I’m gonna speak with my girlfriend.”

Jin gives him an amused smile before giving you a two-fingered captain’s salute and heading to the living room. It might have seemed dorky if anyone had done it, but you marvel over how cool he makes the gesture look. Yoongi turns to you then and takes in your distant expression.

“He didn’t say or do anything to make you uncomfortable, did he? Jin sometimes is a total asshole.”

“No, he—well, he said I looked different.”

“Do you want me to beat him up,” he steps forward to rest his hands on your shoulders. “Because I can, just say the word.”

“It’s really okay. He said it wasn’t just the weight. That it was something else.”

Yoongi’s lips thin as he tries to look for some other message in your words. “I don’t know what the hell that means.”

“It probably didn’t mean anything bad. Just let it go.”

Yoongi nods but takes both your hands in his to kiss them. You lead the way to the living room, feeling a little more like you can handle the night. There’s not much space with all seven members and you. You end up seated away from Yoongi, on the couch between Jungkook and Jin.

Somehow you get roped into playing some Mario game with two teams. You don’t know anything about video games, but you listen to Jungkook’s instructions carefully when you get one of the controllers because he’s one of your teammates. You’re not very good, though. Jin, your team captain, eventually has to maneuver his hands over yours so your character does the right thing.

“You sure you didn’t change your makeup style or something,” Jin asks during one of the rounds where you’re supposed to be playing against Hoseok.

The question takes you by surprise and you turn toward the sound of his voice only to realize just how close he is when he’s acting as a gaming coach of sorts.

“Uh, no. Why?”

“Dunno,” he doesn’t look at you while he converses with you. He’s watching the screen with a hawk-like focus. “You just look prettier than I remember.”

You stutter around nothing, not sure what to say. In the end you settle for saying nothing, though you do spare Yoongi a glance. His gaze must have already been directed at you because you make eye contact immediately. Knowing that he’s probably just making sure you’re having an okay time, you give him a thumbs up and attempt to make Kirby spin on the large screen in front of you.

The night stays that same level of odd. No one else does anything out of the ordinary, barring Jin. He’s strangely attentive even after you get the hang of playing enough to take full control of the controller. After that point, he still slings an arm across the back of the couch, which makes full contact with your shoulders because of how tightly packed you all are on the couch. And when he wants your attention, he makes a habit of brushing his hand down your arm and sometimes leaving it there.

You figure you just don’t spend enough time with Jin to get used to him. But you’ve seen enough interactions between him and the younger members to know how touchy-feely they are with each other. Maybe you’re just enough of an extension of Yoongi to be included in that touching. So you try your hardest not to question it. It’s just nice to know you've been accepted that much and you start to lean into the touch like you would with your own friends.

Soon enough you’re taking part in the high fives that melt into hand holding when you score a goal.

‘Quite a feat for a beginner’, Jin tells you.

Yoongi watches from across the room as your face lights up once again from Jin’s praise. You look like you’re having wholesome fun and the urge to interrupt that is what kills him. But what kills him more is the way Jin’s thumb strokes gently against the curve of your flank as he gestures to something on the screen while Jungkook takes a turn with the controller.

He didn’t think he was the jealous type, but when Taehyung orders pizza one painful hour later, Yoongi’s come to the realization that he’s much more selfish than he knew. Jin whines until you let him feed you a bite of the pepperoni pizza on his plate, knowing you’re too nice to say no. You think this is run of the mill behavior, but even Jimin raises his eyebrows at the display before peering at Yoongi’s furious profile.

The last straw, though, is when Jin wipes a trickle of grease from the corner of your mouth and waits until you’ve turned your head to say something to Jungkook before sucking the residue off. At that, Yoongi stands up abruptly, nearly toppling over the empty box that was near his knees.

“It’s getting late,” he answers the curious stares watching him trudge over to you. “We should head out now if we still want to get back to your place at a decent hour.”

“Oh,” your eyes are wide, “You don’t have to. I know you wanted to do your thing in the studio tomorrow. I should be fine on my own,” you hint back to the promise he made to stay over if the night was a bust.

“I changed my plans already, so I’ll go later in the week. Come on, let’s call a car and go.”

“I can drive you guys. I brought my car,” Jin offers suddenly. His arm is back to resting behind your shoulders. And because his fingers are close enough to graze your shoulder, they do.

“You really don’t have to,” Yoongi bites out. His stare is potent with silent accusation.

“Yoongi, why not? Jin’s place is across the bridge from mine. It actually makes some sense, and I was getting kinda tired. If we wait for a car, I might not be able to get up early enough to go to that brunch spot you mentioned.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jin claps his hands with finality and gets up from the couch before extending his hand out to you. Much to Yoongi’s chagrin, you take his hand like it’s a genuine gesture of chivalry.

Jin somehow manages to get you to sit up in the passenger’s seat with him, leaving Yoongi to fume in the backseat. Occasionally Jin’s eyes will meet his in the rear view mirror and they’ll crinkle with impish amusement before returning to caressing your silhouette.

“So,” Jin says once he gets on the freeway. “Is our Yoongi treating you good?”

You laugh because you don’t see the game at play. “Of course he is. He’s the best boyfriend I could have asked for.” Yoongi’s resolve softens momentarily at your sincere tone. “I love him, even when he gets weird like tonight.” That comment has Jin cackling.

“You know,” he says once his laughter dwindles down, “I actually had the flu the day of Yoongi’s party. The day you guys met.”

“That explains why I didn’t actually see you there. I remember everyone else being there, though.” You gaze wistfully out the window. “I was too shy to talk to any of you guys then.”

“That’s okay. If I had been there, I would have talked to you.”

“That would have been a fun night, I bet.”

“Yeah,” he makes sure Yoongi’s looking in the rearview mirror. “Who knows how close we’d be today if I hadn’t gotten sick.”

Yoongi’s cheek nearly bleeds with force of his teeth gnawing on the inside. If he could, he’d reach forward and throttle Jin. But he’s driving so that’s not an option.

The torture doesn’t last much longer because about 10 minutes later you’re directing Jin to the parking garage of your apartment complex. The goodbyes are annoyingly drawn out and Jin manages to invite himself to brunch the next morning. All the while, Yoongi stands behind you, dying to get inside and away from the eldest member.

Finally, the door gets slammed shut before Jin can say something stupid about seeing you both tomorrow. Yoongi gives the door a smug look and then turns to catch a flash of your eyebrows raised in amusement. His eyes narrow and he approaches you slowly as you shrug off your layers in an almost too mundane way.

“What’s so funny,” he drawls. He attempts to peer at your face only for you to keep whipping it away every time he gets too close.

“Nothing,” you turn and give him your back while you smooth over your already made bed. “It’s just interesting watching you with Jin. I never really get to see you guys together.”

“What’s interesting about it?”

Yoongi starts unbuttoning his own outer layers with painstaking care, giving you ample time to twitch under the weight of his gaze. You fight to keep a smile from sneaking onto your face, but it’s too hard and you let your lips turn up in a little grin. He can’t see it, but he can hear it in your voice.

“You’re just cute when you’re mad.”

A muscle in Yoongi’s jaw jumps.

“You noticed that I was mad, huh?” He shirks off his jacket roughly, sulking in his subtle way. Luckily—or perhaps not luckily—you’ve come to recognize it well.

“I did.” Your voice is high and steady as you remove your sweater, leaving you in a soft and worn t-shirt. “I’ll admit it was entertaining. A little bit.”

“Is that so?” He hums.

“I mean, I don't know what you were mad about. But I could tell it wasn’t about something serious.”

He merely nods and watches you fidget. You peer at him through the side of your eye and see him meticulously undoing the clasp of his watch. From the way he moves slowly through the process of undressing for bed, you can tell something’s coming.

“Let me ask you something, then.”

“O-okay.”

“Is Jin still your favorite?”

“Are you kidding?”

You have to stop hunting for pajamas at your dresser and turn to him to see if he’s in fact kidding. But he looks dangerously serious, and you have to fight to keep your eyes from rolling.

“That’s what this is about? All this sulky Yoongi is because of that?”

“Just answer the question,” he shrugs his shoulders lightly.

Supposedly he’s calm and collected and not jealous, but his eyes are sharp as they zero in on you. Easily, he pushes himself off the wall he was leaning on. The steps he takes toward you are measured and slow. You still find yourself holding your breath as he comes to sit benignly on the bed across from you. It’s something he does sometimes when you’re getting dressed or undressed. Because ‘he likes the view’, he usually says. But tonight it makes you grab the first thing that you find out of your pajama drawer so you’re not leaving your back vulnerable.

“Of course he’s not my favorite anymore. I haven’t felt that way since before we got together.”

“I was just wondering.”

“Yoongi,” you sigh and pull the old t-shirt off to replace it with a sleep shirt. “When you asked me who my favorite was half a year ago I didn’t realize you were flirting with me. And I didn’t really know much about the group either.”

He nods like he thinks what you’ve said is completely reasonable and you stuff your legs through some of your yoga pants roughly. When you finish, you’re still standing defensively on the other side of the room. He looks up at you and beckons you over without a word. You feel compelled to move forward. Unsure of what would happen if you didn’t humor him.

When you’re finally approaching the V of his parted legs, he motions for you to sit next to him on the bed. You do.

“You know,” he begins slowly, “You looked like you were having a great time tonight.”

“Oh,” you blink. “Yeah, I was having fun. Even though it took a while for me to win a round. And even then I think Hoseok might have let me win.”

“Was Jin a good teacher?”

“Yeah, he was a good teacher.”

“I bet he was. He had a good student. He looked like he was enjoying himself.”

“Maybe,” you tap your finger on your chin pensively. “It didn’t seem like he hated having to show me how to play.”

“No, trust me, he was enjoying it.” Yoongi’s tone dips audibly, and you stop yourself when you realize what he’s implying.

“God, Yoongi, stop it. It wasn’t like that. He was just being nice.”

“I’ve known Jin a long time. I know what he looks like when he’s flirting. It started as soon as you walked through the door.”

“That’s crazy,” you mumble. But then you think of all the lingering touches and glances again and it clicks. “He...he was probably just trying to rile you up. Jin likes to mess with people sometimes. You’re always saying that.”

Yoongi pins you with an odd look. It’s partly amused, partly pitying. Then it turns cold. “You know, Jin’s been sweet on you since I first introduced you. The first night you met, he told me he used to date someone who looked a bit like you when he was younger, before debuting.”

“Oh my god,” you whisper again.

“You really didn’t know?” Yoongi leans in so the words practically brush against the skin of your cheek. “He was shoving himself all over you the whole night and you didn’t notice?”

You shake your head, at a loss for words. His hand finds its way to your opposite arm, pulling you closer to him.

“Hmm,” he hums in acknowledgment.

Then Yoongi’s lips are pressing gently to the skin of your neck. There’s a hint of something in the kisses that makes them feel a bit too heated to be chaste. At first you think it’s gratitude, but when you turn your head to meet his lips with your own, it’s clear that it’s not just that. His tongue snakes in between your lips, and you let it happen as you turn the evening’s events over in your memory.

“Yoongi,” you whisper between kisses.

“Hmm?” His large hands are splayed low over the swell of your back, a pinky finger just barely dipping under the waistband of your pants.

“I think I did know.”

“Huh?”

“I think as soon as he said that thing in the car—about being in your place—I knew he wasn’t just being friendly anymore.”

“Yeah?” he mumbles against your lips.

Taking you by surprise, he pushes deeper into your mouth until he’s stealing your breath. His lips are plush but insistent. And you’re conflicted. But suddenly he’s pulling away with a damp mouth and a firm grasp on your hip.

“You knew and made me sit through all that and then invited him to brunch in front of me?” He nips at your lax mouth. “That’s not very nice.”

“I know,” you sigh.

“Don’t you think you should be punished, then?” When you pull away looking like he’s grown a second head, he shrugs mildly and like he didn’t just threaten to take you over his knee. “Or not. Your choice.”

[89tczier]

the losers and their tumblr blogs

ik there’s already a billion hcs out there but none coming from my niche hellbrain soooo

richie (tttrashmouth)

his blog is one big ADHD mess, he has a new interest every few weeks and his blog changes accordingly, though there are several common ones 

he never seems to lose many followers for it though

his original posts are funny enough that people put up with it

he’s that user that you start following out of genuine interest and then realise that you’ve already rbed a lot of their popular posts and you’re like

oh shit, i know this fool

he has tags dedicated to each of his friends, they’re usually filled with shitposts or one of their Big Interests 

eddie has two tags, one he knows about, one he doesn’t, and gets mad at richie for not telling him who the tag is for 

the one he doesn’t is full of really gay shit

stan (corvid-company)

stan’s blog started out as a big vent but it was starting to get Unhealthy™ so they switched up their content 

stan knows about richie’s secret tag for eddie and constantly gives richie shit for it like they vague posts about it all the time to get under richie’s skin

‘the intricate rituals of creating a seperate LoveCore tag for the best friend ur pining for....... like the richard siken of it all.......’ ‘THIS IS BIPHOBIA STAN’

it’s 70% bird watching stuff, 20% posts for mike, 9% vaguing about richie’s gay shit, 1% abt being nb (because i fucking CAN ok)

they also have a pretty impressive following, some of it is due to being mutuals with richie, but a lot of it is due to the Wholesome Bird Content

its a surprise to them but they get so damn happy when they receive asks and stuff about their favourite bird watching spots or how to distinguish between different subspecies 

‘i dont know who this guy is, nor do i have a particular interest in birds, but what kind of fucking person would i be if i DIDN’T follow them?’

their tag for mike is pretty cute too, usually its just FarmCore but Romantic stuff they finds, other times its little thoughts they has about them

bev (marsh-makes)

initially set up to advertise her store and products 

she makes things like pins and sew on patches that are really fucking good

she gains a pretty big following from that, people like her stuff and she has a really good quality track record

richie models for her sometimes and everyone kinda loves it

she has a lot of stuff about ethical fashion and makes a lot of posts about the problems with the fashion and clothing industries (eg fast fashion and sizeism)

she also has some quality shitposts

‘i dissociated for like five hours one night and woke up with the best skirt i’ve ever pleated and a top to go with it. my power is unmatched’  ‘op are you ok????’   ‘ye i got a kickass outfit why wouldn’t i be’

eddie (kaprisun)

his blog is pretty simple: things he’s interested in, whatever his friends tag him in, and roasting the shit out of richie

‘tttrashmouth will never be content because he knows im funnier than him’   ‘ur not wrong, eds’

a lot of richie’s popular posts are shittalk between the two of them

he also gets into a lot of discourse because he’s feisty like that, usually about comics or comic book movies

‘imagine thinking marvel is better than dc based on 3 movies’

yes he’s a dc fanboy

he’s not as anti-marvel as he can come across he just really doesn’t get the hype around it 

he Also has a secret romance tag for richie and its half stuff of his own, half rbed from Richie’s Secret Eddie Posts unknowingly (and a bit of bens)

he tags them with ‘mood’ and it gives richie a heart attack each time

mike (hearth-and-heart)

farm core!!! original farm core content fresh from the oven!!

he takes photos around his farm and posts them and ohhh everyone loves them

same energy as stan’s blog (he has a lot of photos of them and the two of them together as well)

he also writes important dates down as well as books he likes

a Solid shitpost now and then but it’s mostly Pure and Wholesome content

people love his photography and unfortunately it gets stolen a lot but other aesthetic blogs but he doesn’t mind so much

he also is the only loser other than bev with an actual Impressive theme: it’s sleek and really fits the vibe

though every now and again he’ll rb one of richie or bev’s shitposts just for a little variety 

bill (deadbrgh)

he posts horror stuff (both from other people as well as his own art/writing) and little bit of vent/rant stuff

his rants are about tropes in horror he hates (eg: ableism and other general bigotry)

his vents are usually about grief or trauma, and he keeps them properly tagged and under a cut

his horror stuff too, he makes sure to keep everything tagged properly and has a link to the tag list in his description 

he sometimes makes a Spicy addition to richie’s posts, and people are like ‘wait why does this Super Serious and Talented creator follow that goblin??’ 

he also rbs a lot of ben’s stuff, people think they’re the same person for a hot minute because ben also writes and draws, but their styles and aesthetics are totally different 

‘people thinking me and eggboy are the same person is really flattering but unfortunately im nowhere near as ripped as he is’ ‘luv u bb’

then people think they’re dating, but also think the one of them is dating bev

they never clear it up

ben (eggboy)

all of his poetry and drawings 

he also makes a lot of lovecore posts that are definitely not for beverly at All

his a few of his poems get really popular so he kinda blows up a bit and he is Unsure How To Handle it

his first haiku for bev is his most popular like people go crazy for it

where his drawings are more stylized, bill’s are more realistic and gritty

people always think he’s straight tho and he’s like ‘could a straight person do this??’ *proceeds to capture the Essence of adoration and devotion*

bev rbs every one of his original posts and hypes him tf up, they collab on a few things and bev puts some of his Iconic lines on patches

the january embers line,,,,,,, people lose it

a lot of his stuff ends up in mike, richie, eddie and stan’s respective Love tags which he finds Perfect

he writes a poem about richie and eddie’s obliviousness and they’re both just like ‘god i wish that were me,,,,,, sounds familiar tho,,,,,,’ 

[kitahara-rei]

Start of Something New

Based off the long, long headcanon I have of how Reiji and Ranmaru met and how they (kinda) got together.

This fic takes place during their Marriage/I'm Your Life photoshoot, a few years after QUARTET NIGHT was formed.

A mini collaboration project between my friend @pineappuu-pineappley​ and I, she drew bombass art for the fic!! Check it out below!!!! I sure hope I did the colouring some justice weeps- It took me a while to put it all together ;u;;; so much effort ajsdklasd

The link to the fic (with no art) on AO3 [here] or you can read it (and look at art!!) after the read more:

~~~~~

Beautiful. Everything that his eyes laid upon was a work of art. Marble pillars lined the long hallway, ascending up into an arch that melded together to form the high ceiling of the chapel. An array of golden flecks splattered across the ceiling shone like stars where the sunlight hit the painted dome, casting a shimmery glow in the air that seemed almost magical.

The sound of his footsteps reverberated around the empty hall with each step he took, reminding him how quiet it was without anyone else around. It had been bustling with so much activity earlier during their photoshoot with staff members at every corner, packing equipment and shouting instructions. All in all, it was a busy day and Reiji was glad to have some peace at last.

Golden hues from the setting sun painted the ground with the image of the stained glass in front of him, reminding him that night was soon to fall, and that he should be heading back soon with the others. But he didn't want to go back just yet. As he approached the altar, he reached out to touch the slab of cool marble, marveling at the inscriptions in a language he couldn't understand. He traced them with his finger, wondering what it all meant.

This chapel had been abandoned once, but their boss had it restored within a week to its current state of glory. The theme of marriage had been swimming around in his mind since the moment that it was proposed to them. Closing his eyes, he hummed the chorus of the song.

To stand here with his beloved, looking into their eyes as they exchanged vows, promising their everything to each other for eternity... Reiji couldn't picture that in his mind. There was too much baggage that he carried in his heart to let anyone else in, let alone think about marriage. A certain person's face floated up from the depths of his memory, and he wrenched his eyes open, falling back against the altar. He grabbed onto the cold surface to find his steady ground again, sucking in a shaky breath before letting the air out between gritted teeth. That could have been them once, but thanks to him, on this day ten years ago...

The sound of the waves crashing against the shore outside was faint, but it was piercingly loud in the silence. It was a bad idea, now that he thought about it, to wander off on his own. With nothing else to occupy his mind, the thoughts that he squashed down on a daily basis came crawling back out, gripping his very being, claiming him as their prisoner.

"Reiji?"

That one voice rang out clear in the chapel. He had heard it many times, be it on stage right next to him or in the dressing room, always in a low, gruff tone. Reiji turned his eyes onto the figure walking towards him, who had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his dress pants. He usually saw him in casual clothes (with the exception of their group costumes) but he had to admit, Ranmaru looked very good in a fitted white suit. The fabric hugged his figure well, accenting his broad shoulders and slim waistline, the pressed pants making his long legs seem longer. Their costume designer had done a great job this time round.

"I thought you went home, Ran-Ran," Reiji said, tucking his hair behind his ear. "You disappeared right after we ended."

Ranmaru stopped right in front of him, a couple steps down from where he was at the altar. Now that he had a closer look, his suit was wrinkled from sleep. "I took a nap here for a bit. Heard you walking 'round," he said, yawning. The look that he gave Reiji was tinged with sleepiness, which reminded him very much of a housecat. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to take a look at it all again. Shiny-san found such a treasure sitting by the seaside, I'm surprised that the locals didn't know about it." Reiji looked back up at the painted baby angels on the ceiling, which had a very remarkable features reminiscent of his Very Strange Boss. He was pretty sure that wasn't originally there. "There's something about a chapel that just brings about certain feelings, doesn't it?"

The other man let out a low hum. Reiji wasn't sure what it was supposed to mean. Silence fell between them.

"Have you ever thought about it?" Reiji asked.

"'Bout what?"

"Marriage." He caught Ranmaru glancing to the side, frowning deeply. "I guess it's still too early for you." Reiji laughed, leaning back against the altar. "Any girl would be lucky enough to marry you, but they have to get past all these spikes first," he teased, reaching out to tussle Ranmaru's unruly hair. It felt softer than it looked, despite the innumerous amounts of hair wax he used to keep it styled.

He almost flinched when Ranmaru grabbed his wrist in a firm hold out of nowhere. It was as if the air around him went still the moment Ranmaru's unusual eyes met his, and Reiji could almost feel the intensity of his gaze burning. "I haven't," Ranmaru admitted at last.

Reiji let out the breath he was holding, though he noticed that Ranmaru still hadn't let go of his hand. "Ah, I-I see," he said. "Well, like I said, it's still too early for-"

"But I have someone in mind."

The words cut through his own cleanly like a sharp knife. Reiji swallowed as he saw, no, felt his hand taken gently in Ranmaru's own, his breath catching in his throat when Ranmaru brought it up for a gentle kiss. The back of his hand burned hotly where the imprint of Ranmaru's lips had imparted upon it. The words that he never thought Ranmaru would ever say left his lips.

"Reiji," he said, softer than he had ever heard the man before. "Your smile brings so much warmth into my life. I am yours, so will you be mine?"

It was like a scene out of a classic romance movie, with the setting sun casting a golden glow upon Ranmaru's handsome features, catching gold in his silvery strands. Ranmaru was watching him carefully, waiting for his reply. He wasn't the type to joke around, as Reiji knew, and he had suspected the younger man had a growing crush upon him ever since that night he drunkenly confessed to liking him.

Reiji could admit to sneaking a glance now and again, but he had known Ranmaru as a troublesome kid who knew nothing of the idol world. He hadn't thought about him romantically before. In a way, he suspected he might have, but had been too afraid to pursue those feelings any further.

"I..." He was at a loss for words. His pulse must be skyrocketing right now from how loud his heart was beating in his ears. Every sound was drowned out except for his heartbeat and his short breaths. It was all too much for him; the thought alone that Ranmaru, who had seen him at his lowest, still harboured such feelings for him was staggering. A certain face that flashed into his mind made he pull his hand back. No, he just couldn't. His heart was barely held together with cheap tape made from false cheerfulness and it couldn't take much more.

"I'm sorry."

The last thing he saw was Ranmaru's shock before he booked it, running out the door. He felt like his heart was overflowing with all the overwhelming thoughts, the feelings, the pain from the past. His legs were taking him further and further away on the sand, the wind whipping past his face and into his hair. He didn't know where he was going; anywhere was fine, as long as he could escape from all the mess that was in his head.

A hand grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks, and he almost fell backwards. He struggled to get his arm free, prying at the strong grip that refused to let go. His hand was caught by the other and he looked up to see the pained look on Ranmaru's face.

Oh no, he did it again. No matter what he did, someone was going to get hurt.

"Let me go." He was surprised to find his voice as steady as it was, even though his hands were trembling. His eyes found themselves glued to the sandy ground, unable to bring himself to look up at Ranmaru.

"Reiji, please-"

"Let me go!"

The world lurched and he found himself in Ranmaru's embrace. No matter how much more he struggled, Ranmaru's grip on him was tight, as if the man was afraid of letting him go and carry out another disappearing act. Honestly, Reiji would have done that, just to avoid the entire resulting mess that was to come, the awkward silence and distance between the two and the eventuality of them drifting apart.

But the thought of Ranmaru going back to his distant self pained him, as if their time together meant nothing: the many nights shared under the influence of many beers in Ranmaru's dinky little apartment, the tender way that Ranmaru would stroke his hair as he slept, the way one look could tell him what was on Ranmaru's mind, the little things about the man that no one else seemed to pick up...

Reiji realised that he didn't want to lose all that too. The tears were flowing before he knew it, and he found himself crying into the shoulder in front of him, digging his fingers into Ranmaru's clothes, not wanting to let this man go.

"I'm scared, Ran-Ran. I'm scared that I can't give you the happiness you deserve. I'm scared I can't return the same feelings as you do, I'm-"

"I don't need all that. I just want you."

Ranmaru's hand moved to caress his cheek, his thumb wiping away the tears from his eyes. Reiji didn't know when, but when he opened his eyes, Ranmaru was there, his brows knitted into a frown. He was breathing hard and so was Reiji; Ranmaru must have run out after him right after he bolted.

He didn't deserve the man in front of him who deserved so much better. He deserved someone he could pour all his love into and get back so much more, a less difficult person to love. Someone that wasn't him.

"Reiji, look at me." How could such piercing eyes hold such a warm and soft gaze for him? His touch was so gentle. "I love you just the way you are. You don't need to give me your answer right now. My heart will always belong to you."

He felt his heart clench. Reiji wanted to do it, but he was too scared to take that first step and bungle it all up like he did before with Aine. But, he wanted Ranmaru so badly. Maybe this time, it would end well. He couldn't help the tiny, tiny glimmer of hope flickering within that maybe, he wouldn't screw it up this time. Maybe, he could be happy with Ranmaru.

The wind was loud in his ears, drowning out the sounds of ocean waves crashing against the shore. His breath was caught in his throat at how striking Ranmaru looked at this moment.

He closed the distance between them first. Reiji kissed him softly, carefully, a little hesitant. It was the barest touch of their lips but it sent his heart racing, and he drew back, wondering if what he did had been a good idea. Ranmaru's lips stole the rest of his thoughts and his breath away as they came for his own, sending his mind into a tizzy. And suddenly, Reiji found himself wanting more. Hands found themselves pulling him in closer, fingers were tangled in the mess that his hair was, anything to keep him within his hold. Ranmaru kissed him once, twice and again, and Reiji could barely catch his breath before being engulfed once more.

And then he was panting hard, his thoughts scattered across the beach like sand. Ranmaru was still holding onto him tightly, so close that he swore could hear the thrumming of his heartbeat. Or was that his own? Reiji didn't know.

"I... still don't know if this is what love is, but I want to give it a try. I want you so much, Ran-Ran." And there it was, the smile that sent his heart fluttering at the beginning.

"I'll wait for you until you're ready," Ranmaru said, touching his forehead to Reiji's. "I'll always be here for you."

Ranmaru's love for him was so warm, it filled up his heart close to exploding. The tears fell before he could blink them back, but this time, he was smiling through them, feeling a weight off his shoulders. "Thank you," he said, "for everything."

[bngtanah]

I’m (not) With The Band. | o4

summary: Adrienne is an indie producer who is hired to help co-produce BTS’ next album alongside their resident producer; Suga. Despite the initial opposition on both ends, the pair spend time together, share a few stories, dreams and aspirations and begin to hit it off really well. Wrapped up in the whirlwind of late nights and heated disagreements and reconciliations, Min Yoongi and Adrienne Rolle find themselves growing closer and closer. One night they decide to cross the barrier between personal and professional and do their best make a relationship work against all odds.

pairing: idol!Yoongi  x Named OC

word count: 2.9k genre: drama, romance, smut(eventually)

chapters: prologue| o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11|

warning: light angst, smut, fluff, workplace relationship, slow burn, sexual themes, ambw, enemies to friends to lovers, developing relationship

a/n: still a fool. still re-uploading.

Adrienne had a certain way of approaching the music-making process, she liked to be completely immersed in whatever she was working on. That meant blasting the sounds she haphazardly blended together as loud as possible until she could think of a way to make them work together appealingly. The sounds of unfinished demos blasting, the scent of lavender incense burning and filling up the interior of the Bangtan work room while Adrienne danced around to get her blood flowing had become a common thing to hear at any hour of the day or night when she was working alone over the past few days. It was a crazy process to look at from the outside but it hadn't failed her yet so Adrienne was planning on sticking with it.

Of course, just because she planned on doing that didn't mean that she would get to.

The incense and loud music worked fine when she was alone but once Yoongi was in the room that all came to a stop. He preferred to work in silence, or as close to silence as he could get. Which meant he had his headphones in to listen and critique every subtle sound effect and background noise that he wasn't sure about adding. Doing that calmed Yoongi but made Adrienne anxious, she was constantly bursting with energy and that seemed to amplify during the nighttime when she was in a pleasant mood and Yoongi just felt like curling up and going to sleep. Adrienne needed the conversation, the back and forth of ideas that could really be the best part about being forced to work with someone else. Their partnership seemed to be in a slightly more stable place than it was last week, even though they still barely knew each other and had definitely not stopped arguing about nearly everything; they were at least willing to communicate instead of shutting down when complications arose. 

It was after twelve on a Tuesday night, or was it after one? Truthfully Adrienne stopped keeping track hours ago, the only thing she knew for sure was that it was dark outside and the halls outside the workroom door sounded empty which meant that it was late enough for people to have already headed home. Adrienne planned on heading out herself as soon as she made some progress on the melody she had been working on for most of the day. It started off with the intentions of being something upbeat and whimsical but over time it morphed into something lighter, more gentle and Andy was having trouble finding a balance between the two styles.

"Are you okay?"

Yoongi's voice yelling over the music from the door made Adrienne stop the strange interpretive dance she was acting out in the middle of the room. With her arms stretched upwards and her neck extended towards the ceiling she kind of resembled a stork preparing to take flight. If Yoongi wasn't so unbelievably tired he might have found the energy to laugh at her.

"Ah, Yoongi-ssi,"

"-oppa,"

"You said I should be respectful, -ssi is very respectful."

Yoongi grumbled and moved his tired body towards the couch, motioning for Adrienne to turn down her song like he always did. Andy sighed and moved to the computer desk then took a seat.

"What are you doing here? I thought you guys had schedules all day today."

"I wanted to get some work done before I go to bed, and it's two o'clock in the morning; what are you doing here?" Yoongi answered with his head resting against the back of the couch.

"Oh shi-, is it really?" Adrienne gasped and turned to look at the bottom right of the computer screen, it indeed read 2:13 am and Andy groaned and pressed her forehead against the keyboard. She wanted to be in bed hours ago but time completely got away from her.

"I've been working on this song for.... well I'll just be honest, the entire day and I just cannot get it to sound right. That's why I'm still here." She pouted.

Yoongi huffed and looked over at Adrienne, who looked back at him with a slight smile, and made a spectacle of getting up and trudging over to the console where Adrienne sat. He leaned forward and pressed his palms on the edge of the desk then looked at Adrienne like he was waiting for her to do something.

"What?"

"Let me hear the song,"

"No, it isn't arranged!"

Yoongi frowned and gave her a slightly harsh look, making Andy suck her teeth, hit play and immediately cover her ears so she wouldn't have to listen to the song again. She was getting sick of hearing the reminder of her incompetence.

Yoongi, on the other hand listened carefully to everything that played over the speakers. He could see what she meant about it not being arranged properly since it was still very rough around the edges but there was something there that could be worked out with more time and attention. The corners of his lips turned upwards slightly when the gentle voice that had been harmonizing to the melody switched to sound more aggressive and raspy.

"Is that you singing?"

"What? Oh yes, that's me. I knew which of you I want to sing which part so I tried to imitate your voices with random lyrics,"

"Was that supposed to be me?"

"Yes, I didn't think you would notice," Adrienne chuckled.

"I don't sound like that," He retorted with a playful frown.

"Yoongi, that's exactly what you sound like. My imitation of you is actually the best one."

Yoongi rolled his eyes but didn't disagree and returned to the couch once the song ended.

"You're a good singer,"

"T-thank you," She answered, slightly taken back by his sudden compliment since it was the first one he'd paid her since they met.

"About your song, it has potential but you're making the backing instruments way too loud, it's distracting," 

Adrienne frowned gently and brought her knees up to her chest, his suggestion had crossed her mind earlier but she was afraid that if she lowered the instruments, it would lose the dynamic feeling.

"I don't even want to think about it anymore," She rested her chin on her knees "Thank you though."

Yoongi nodded silently as he sank further and further into the cushions of the couch, his plan was to work once he was here but he was already falling asleep just sitting there.

"Yoongi-ssi..."

"Hm?"

"Didn't you say you wanted to want to work on something?"

"Yeah, I will" he answered but made no attempt to move.

Adrienne sniggered and shook her head as she got up from the office chair and occupied the empty seat next to him on the couch.

"You should go home if you're just going to sleep,"

Yoongi snorted and sat up straight, his spine becoming rigid when he heard her so close to him.

"I'm okay, I just need a second to wake up,"

"Well, if you want some help, you could answer my question of the day!"

'Question of the day' was something that Adrienne suggested last week in an effort for them both to understand each other better. They each got to ask one question per day that had to be answered honestly by both parties. Yoongi was against it at first but Adrienne soon realized that he would agree to do most things if she pestered him enough. So far it had only been basic questions like 'where were you born?', 'how old are you?', 'who's your favourite artist?' and Adrienne learned that Yoongi was exactly one year older than she was and he had just as much trouble pinning down just one favourite artist as she did. An inaudible rasping noise of displeasure rumbled in Yoongi's throat even though he hadn't moved an inch since sitting up. He didn't have the stamina for a conversation right now.

"Oh, come on you child, it's a simple question!"

"Fine, fine. What is it?" 

"What made you want to become an idol?"

"I didn't,"

"Yoongi-ssi..."

"What? I answered your question,"

"That can't be the entire answer," Adrienne pushed.

Yoongi cursed under his breath and ran a hand down the length of his face.

"That is the entire answer. I never dreamed about being an idol, I wanted to make music, I knew there was only so much I could do on my own so I came to Seoul to have the opportunity to make music as well as I could."

Adrienne nibbled on her top lip and studied Yoongi while he answered her question, he looked like he was still sleeping with his beanie pulled down low over his forehead and the back of his head still resting against the back of the couch. He had a certain way of saying a lot while not really saying much at all when they spoke, always giving Adrienne just enough information to satiate her curiosity but never really allowing her to get closer to him. It was frustrating in a way but Andy didn't want to rock the boat again when they'd just started getting along and she wasn't exactly an open book herself. Then again, he never asked her anything that would require her to be guarded, Adrienne was sure that her age and birthplace and other general facts were on file with the company and that was all he ever asked about.

"Do you like it?"  She paused "Being an idol, I mean."

"One question," Yoongi answered and held up his index finger which Adrienne pushed out of her line of vision.

"Fine, what's your question?"

Yoongi shuffled around in his seat and switched his seating position so he was facing Adrienne instead of leaning into the cushions and staring up at the ceiling. It took a second for him to think of a question to ask since he didn't have one ready. Well, that wasn't true, he had lots of questions but none he felt comfortable asking out loud.

"Why did you come to Korea?"

"You know why I'm here,"

"I know they offered you a job, you didn't have to accept it,"

Adrienne smirked and glanced to the side in thought.

"Do you want the proper answer or something thoughtful?"

"Proper,"

"I needed money," she laughed softly and Yoongi joined her with a closed mouth chuckle of his own.

"Honestly, I didn't really want to come at first. I knew nothing about this country or the music and it was all so different from what I was used to... if my sister didn't threaten to fight me I wouldn't be here right now. I was so scared to come here."

"Scared of what?"

"Of...." Adrienne paused and raised her gaze to Yoongi's eyes, she wasn't exactly sure how to word what she wanted to say next. "Give me your arm."

Yoongi's forehead wrinkled, but he complied and stretched his arm forward, Adrienne held his hand in her palm and pushed up his sleeve so that his forearm was exposed then she scooted closer and placed her bare forearm directly against his warm skin. Andy's bronzed skin wasn't the deepest shade of brown and she knew that but it definitely stood out compared to Yoongi's fair tone.

"Of being too different."

He was confused at first but after the second glance at their arms next to each other and Adrienne's face Yoongi nodded with a quiet realization and lowered his head and arm.

"Not everyone is... it's not like..." He stumbled over his words in a way was so unlike him and Adrienne shook her head quickly and held both of his hands in her own to reassure him.

"I get it, Yoongi," She smiled and let go, "I'm not that scared anymore but there's always something terrifying about the unknown..."

Yoongi nodded, tilting his head to the side and resting it against his hand. Adrienne wasn't looking directly at him when she spoke and that gave him ample opportunity to drink in her sharp features without being detected. He had taken up the habit of gazing at her when she wasn't looking in an effort to try and figure her out. She was such a strange person to him with her slightly eccentric behavior, bubbly nature, and interesting personality. Girls like this usually annoyed him but with Adrienne Yoongi only wanted to know more about her and that was a feeling he knew he had to keep under control. He was a professional there was no reason for him to allow fleeting emotions to cloud his thinking, no matter if he could physically feel his heart twinge beneath his chest when Adrienne's eyes met his own.

"Anyway, thanks for listening. You can work now sorry for being a bother."

"Don't worry about it," Yoongi nodded and slowly picked himself up off the couch.

"I should go home now," Andy yawned but didn't get up as she watched him move over to the computer desk.

Yoongi nodded and turned to bid Adrienne a good night when the sound of the door swinging open drew his attention there.

"Hyung! We're going to eat are you com-" Jimin paused when he noticed Adrienne still seated. 

"Oh, Andy~ I didn't know you were still here, do you want to come eat with us?"

"Hey, Jimin" Andy greeted with a wide grin "Um... I don't know if I can..." Just at the mention of food, her stomach grumbled and reminded Adrienne that all she'd eaten that day was a packet of saltine crackers and going home alone on an empty stomach wasn't something she wanted to risk.

"I'll come," she laughed "I mean if that's okay with everyone," Adrienne said everyone but really she was looking for Yoongi's approval since as far as she knew he was the only member of the team she hadn't really won over yet. Jimin encouraged her to come but Adrienne still looked over to Yoongi for his answer. 

Yoongi wasn't particularly interested in going since he didn't really want to eat and he still hadn't started his work but when Adrienne looked at him with her silently pleading eyes Yoongi didn't have it in him to tell Jimin to go away so he could work in peace. So instead, he got up, adjusted his beanie and headed out the door without a word while being followed by his oddly energetic youngers.

The seven of them plus Adrienne piled into a booth at a tiny pub not too far from the studio since that was the only place open so late at night. Despite being tired like Adrienne was sure they all were the atmosphere was loud and active as they all ordered and only got more lively when someone, who sounded oddly like Taehyung, suggested that Adrienne treat them to a drink. She objected at first but that only made the requests become cuter and more annoying to ignore.

"Okay! Just this one time" Adrienne finally relented and motioned for the server to come back to their table.

"You don't have to do that,"  she could hear Yoongi almost whisper from his seat next to her but Andy dismissed his concern with a gentle smile. "I don't mind."

The night continued until Namjoon being the responsible leader that he was, informed everyone that they really needed to get some rest before their day tomorrow. Everyone except Yoongi and Jin groaned and complained but made preparations to leave nonetheless, they were undoubtedly feeling the heavyweight of sleep rest comfortably on their shoulders once everyone was outside on the sidewalk since there was a noticeable drop in noise level and general conversation.

"Well, I'm going now!" Adrienne said behind a body-draining yawn as she waved towards the group and began walking backward.

"Are you walking by yourself? You shouldn't catch a taxi so late alone, I can walk with you." Namjoon said quickly and took a step forward but Adrienne shook her head. 

"I live really close to the studio, I can make it by myself. I'll be safe,"

"Okay. Well, you should text me when you get home, so we don't worry." Namjoon said, quickly adding the bit about everyone worrying to save face.

"I will, good night!" She assured him and waved again to the rest of the boys before turning on her heels and heading towards her apartment.

Once she was out of sight Namjoon followed closely by Yoongi who'd gone silent, and the rest of the crowd began their slow trek back to the BigHit building.

"Hey, hyung don't you think you're being a little too obvious with Andy? Since she is a co-worker and everything," Jimin asked in a gentle tone once he'd sidled up next to Namjoon and began walking in stride with him.

"What are you talking about?" Namjoon responded as if he did not understand what Jimin was insinuating "Should I be rude to her just because she's a co-worker?"

Jimin pursed his lips but let the topic die, he knew that his band member knew that wasn't he meant but it wasn't exactly the right place or time to advise Namjoon so he kept quiet. Yoongi who was also still silently walking behind them took notice of the minor exchange and didn't have a reasonable explanation for the way his heart rate spiked or the scowl that crossed his features while he continued moving with his head down. 

Jimin smiled and gently patted Namjoon on the shoulder.

"Of course not, hyung."

[comradekatara]

Pls tell me random things about the modern au

sure!

please keep in mind this is not chronologically-ordered because i am far too pomo for (scoff) linear narratives

(* = chell’s contributions)

suki drives a truck, and said truck is a legend

azula goes to harvard, despite her objectively terrible character (ohhhh shots fired!!!!) 

zuko doesn’t try very hard in school, because he knows that if he were to actually try, he would feel worse about azula being better than him (he’s not living under ozai’s roof––anymore––so it doesn’t matter) but it’s way too easy to trick her into taking naclo, which is where he shines. it drives her crazy that he won’t tell her his score. “you just wont tell me because you know i did better than you” “….maybe :)” “UGH ZUKO JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU GOT!!!!!!!!” 

the day before aang’s first day of high school, sokka gently tries to inform him that he is too old to be wearing heelies 

toph isn’t allowed on any sports teams due to her blindness, so she fights the administration every single day, and (physically) fights random people just for fun, and they so desperately want to punish her for it but she is a genius wunderkind pride & joy of their institution and they know that unless she gets really out of line, their hands are tied. but they still refuse to let her play sports 

“suki’s nervous because today’s the day of the Big Game,” sokka tells zuko. zuko can swear he said the same thing yesterday. and the day before that. and the day before that. it is always the day of the Big Game. when zuko asks katara about it she rolls her eyes and says, “don’t be stupid, the Big Game only happens once a year.” and so, the concept of sports continues to wear on his sanity 

azula’s all, “i swear to god, if sokka is valedictorian i will burn EVERYTHING to the GROUND” and zukos like “why do you even care youre not even in his class” (but it’s the PRINCIPLE of it, zuzu!!!!!!!) 

aang has a really big dog named appa, and a flying lemur named momo. no one questions this 

it is very apparent to everyone except for mai and zuko that mai and zuko are not happy together. mais not “in love” with “ty lee” what an idiotic thing to even suggest 

toph’s favorite joke is stumbling into nothing and then yelling “OW! watch where you’re going!” to which zuko sighs and says, “toph theres no one there” and tophs like “no i can swore i bumped into something” and zukos like “no. u didnt. u know u d––” “mustve been your closet, then. EYOOOOO” 

sokka refuses to admit to himself that the reason he “doesnt do” relationships is to keep himself from getting hurt (see: yue). katara not so gently reminds him that if he truly “didnt do” relationships, then why does suki practically live in her house. 

katara thinks clubs are stupid and school spirit is lame but then she finds out that their school doesn’t have a straight gay alliance so she starts one. no one joins except for toph, who just sits there in the corner and eats peanuts with a wide smile, staring straight ahead. 

in his senior year, aang finally gets to be the mascot the night of the Big Game. everyone comes back just to support him. zuko has not set foot in his hometown in at least three years, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t support aang’s dreams. (plus he’s pretty sure katara would kill him if he didn’t.) once the Big Game starts (the first and only Big Game zuko ever attends), sokka notices zuko staring really intently at the field, and that he has been for about a half hour now. he’s like “whats….goin on??” and zuko mutters, “i’m trying to figure out what sport theyre playing.” sokkas just like “oh my god” 

suki and sokka miss their prom because they got too invested in their game of monopoly. toph humbly accepts their crowns in their place. the teachers are just like “wait who even let her in here isnt she a freshman” 

katara plays hockey. azula does track and kickboxing. they are both fierce, violent, and terrifying. both katara and azula tried to join suki’s roller derby team, but suki wisely rejected them both because they were, in her estimation, “not a good culture fit.” she told them the team was already full.*

zuko, suki and toph are in a band. their music is very lyrical and also very screamy (only suki and toph get to sing, natch). believe it or not, aang is their biggest fan. aang plays the triangle and the flute and the harp, which you might think would not exactly fit with their style, but they do invite him onstage for gigs sometimes and somehow the combination is excellent.*

katara is a mediocre student. zuko is great in his literature classes and his art classes and kind of tragic at everything else. nevertheless, they try to study together. mostly katara just comes over to zuko’s house and scuffs up his coffee tables and eats a lot of food out of the fridge. zuko considers this direct action against his terrible father, and he loves it*

azula is obsessed with sneakers. yeah that’s it that’s a whole bullet point*

suki’s truck is disgusting and made up of a seemingly boundless mess, but there are three recurring themes that are most apparent when you enter: weed, construction equipment for some weird building project she never tells anyone the details of, and other girls’ underwear*

katara thinks sokka is a narc for having gotten jet suspended. “he called in a BOMB THREAT, KATARA” 

sokka is the head of the science club. because he loves science. toph and suki are also in the science club. because they love watching (and listening to) things explode. 

everyone agrees that debate should be renamed “sokka and azula fight for 90 minutes.” azula spends a week drafting up a foolproof argument, manipulating the whole class into picking said topic, and then pretending its unrehearsed, and sokka spends no time in saying “nope. thats wrong.” on days where he chairs the debates, azula always wins because he’s forced to remain impartial, and no one else can out-debate her. it is on those days that he goes home and proceeds to rant about how everything azula said was wrong and why. 

katara and azula also fight, of course, but never in a structured setting. sometimes it ends in bloodshed. toph enjoys egging them on way too much. 

sokka is constantly misplacing his possessions. that is, when neither zuko nor suki are around to personally keep track of all his belongings. he loses his phone about twice a day. he’s checking the chem lab to see if he left his phone in there, but azula is already there, presumably to work on a lab. she offers to call his phone for him, and he types his number into her phone because she is too embarrassed to admit she already has his number (and a tracking device in place but thats not important). unfortunately, azula is the one to locate his phone, so she sees that her contact name is, “ZUKO’S SISTER??!??!!!!???!???!!??!!!!?” she has never been more offended in her entire life. 

katara is always threatening to beat up anyone who so much as looks at aang funny. no one would hurt aang, though. everyone loves aang. 

sokka loves art class. he also hates art class. he likes that he has a structured time and space in which to paint, and he loves painting. he hates that his paintings always turn out looking like wet garbage, especially compared to those of the guy who sits near him, who clearly is not even trying. he is the rich to sokka’s jeff. at least in sokka’s mind. sokka will oft complain about “that asshole who thinks he’s too good for art class,” but suki pays him no mind and rolls her eyes. until one day, when sokka and suki are being particularly annoying and making out in the middle of the hallway, which is particularly upsetting for zuko because a) that is Hot Guy From His Art Class and b) he will either have to wait for them to finish or politely ask them to move, as they are right in front of his locker. he says, “do you mind moving?” and he means this as politely as possible, but sokka is like “wow what a haughty bitch” so he just holds his index finger up as if to say “one second” and that is that is such an asshole move that zuko has no choice but to yell “what the fuck?!?” far too loudly. it leads to a kerfuffle that eventually lands them both in detention (suki was an innocent party and sokka is more than willing to take the fall for her.) their detention becomes a breakfast club meets war balloon, and sokka actually sort of tells someone about yue. that’s weird. why���d he do that? neither of them know. zuko has no idea what to say. well, this is awkward. another half hour passes. sokka idly mentions that they could totally find a way out of this room by crawling through the vents and then climbing the beams in the gym and after that it’s only a matter of finding an open window––and not getting caught. this is a joke, a completely hypothetical joke, of course. zuko’s like, “let’s do it.” sokka’s like “oh shit this bitch is crazy,” but, y’know, they pull it off. they run out of the school and keep running and only stop when sokka has the dawning realization that if any of this goes on his permanent record that definitely lessens his chances of getting scholarships. but zuko assures him that mr. bumi doesn’t actually give a fuck, and then offhandedly mentions that he sort of gives him the creeps, and sokka wholeheartedly agrees. this prompts more and more conversation, as they just kind of wander about various streets. once they finally realize that it’s gotten completely dark around them, it occurs to them that they may as well have stayed in detention. 

people won’t shut up about the shit that went down at post-prom. “did you see when that one guy…??” “yeah dude that was wild.” suki just smiles knowingly, and so her friends are all “oh did u hook up with ty lee again?” and she’s like “even better. i won monopoly.” 

katara hates zuko for incredibly petty reasons. like, “he took the last popsicle out of her fridge” petty. then, she very obtrusively finds out that hes gay and is immediately like Oh We Are Friends Now. zuko’s life has suddenly become so much more convenient now that katara is no longer being mean to him that it actually takes him a while to realize that katara is being actively nice to him. 

they talk about waves in physics, and it shakes toph to her core. later that day, she asks sokka to explain what colors are to her. he does not do a good job. starts talking about plato’s allegory of the cave, and the double slit experiment??? what??? zuko explaining that “colors are a feeling” is only marginally more helpful. so toph ultimately enlists suki’s help in explaining to her which colors are lame and which colors are dykey. suki immediately says “flannel.” 

so yes aang may have technically stolen momo from the zoo but its not his fault because momo followed him home and refused to leave his side!!!! 

once mai grows out of her “everyone is an idiot and i hate the world” phase, sokka realizes that she’s actually really cool. they hang out constantly. they have a weekly board game night, and they take turns hosting, which is hilarious because mai lives in a mansion and has an actual butler. their secret handshake is needlessly complicated. zuko tries to pretend it isn’t weird. but…. it’s weird right?? and like, it’s weird that no one else thinks it’s weird???? ……..why does no one else think it’s weird?????

azula is, of course, valedictorian, and her speech is about as bone-chilling as you’d expect. her jokes are too cruel to land. she namedrops harvard about ten times. she manages to squeeze in an offhanded dig at sokka, which makes katara nearly fight her onstage. at the afterparty, azula overhears a conversation wherein one meathead jock whose name she never learned says to another meathead jock whose name she never learned, “oh, but remember that speech from last year??? it was so funny.” this prompts her to have a little too much to drink, which only sokka notices (he showed up for katara and then he was dragged to the party by his friends), so he ends up driving her home. as a graduation gift to her, he says, he changes her contact name in his phone to “Azula.”

sokka has en english teacher who really has it out for him. katara tells him she had him before and wishes she could punch him in the face, and that it’s not his fault that he’s doing poorly in that class. still, sokka begs zuko to tutor him in english. zuko’s just like “you’re perfectly fine at english pakku just sucks” but he agrees to tutor him anyway. sokka’s grades do not improve in the slightest, but he does not care.

the week in which SAT results are expected to arrive, azula is weirdly vigilant about the mail. she makes sure to check the scores and then put it back in the envelope before anyone sees that it was opened. she very casually asks zuko “so what did you get?” and zuko just kinda shrugs impassively and walks away. azula smiles to herself. 

katara comes home one night to find mai and sokka watching a movie on her couch. (the movie is phantom thread and there are tears of laughter streaming down both their faces by the time it’s over.) she’s like “oh hey guys i saw both your girlfriends making out with each other at a party twenty minutes ago,” and sokkas like “for the last time, katara, suki’s not my girlfriend!!” and mai just angrily shushes her because she’s talking over the johnny greenwood score!!!!! smh.

toph never stops yelling at the administration for their ableism. and you’d best believe her valedictory speech blows everyone else’s out of the water. 

[eabhaalynn]

Punisher and Why it is my Album of the Year... Already

Every few years, we come across a singer-songwriter who is so devastatingly assured in their talent that they come to be generation defining. Their songs are synonymous with the era they’re written in, with the themes they discuss. Names like Bob Dylan, Stevie Nicks, and Amy Winehouse come to mind. This weeks’ release of “Punisher,” the sophomore album by Californian indie-rock icon Phoebe Bridgers has solidified her name on that list.

From her first note of her first album ‘Stranger in the Alps’ in 2017, we could see -or perhaps more fittingly, hear- that Phoebe is a force to be reckoned with. Her distinctive, haunting vocals from that album have made the soundtrack to many summers since, and many films to match. ‘Motion Sickness’details the emotional abuse of a relationship the then twenty-two-year-old musician had with Ryan Adams, an established voice in the alternative rock scene. In the years since, numerous allegations of sexual misconduct against Adams have come to the public’s attention. This only further points to the bravery of Bridgers’ in writing and releasing such a poignant track so early on in her career.

Thematically, Stranger in the Alps touches on death, depression, emotional abuse and heartbreak, without ever verging into the cringe or the cliché. Bridgers’ raw, honest vocals and song-writing skill make it a strangely comforting experience to listen to, and an album that is as melodically beautiful as it is lyrically heart wrenching. You would be forgiven for thinking that it’d be too impossible an act to follow, especially for an artist so early on in her career.

“The future’s unwritten, the past is a corridor.” – Smoke Signals, 2017

Ms Bridgers swiftly followed her solo debut with 2018’s Boygenius and 2019’s Better Oblivion Community Center. The former, a collaboration with Julian Baker and Lucy Dacus, played into the strengths of all three musicians, resulting in a fusion of indie-rock and folk-rock, and giving Phoebe ample opportunity to release more of the distinctive poetic lyricism that have become synonymous with her name. The blend of the three genres and voices is a beautiful and haunting EP that has aged with Ms Bridgers and become a defining moment for her career.

The latter, Better Oblivion Community Center, is a duo consisting of Phoebe and long-term friend and collaborator Conor Oberst. Their self-titled debut album loosely is themed around a dystopian wellness centre of the same name. The record is coherent, creative and once again plays to the strengths of both musicians, their voices complement each other beautifully, despite or perhaps because of the contrast in their styles. The album is undoubtably a feat of production, and plays into elements of electronic and country music, for the first, though evidently not the last time in Phoebe’s discography.

“So sick of being honest / I’ll die like Dylan Thomas” – Dylan Thomas, 2019

Which brings us swiftly on to 2020, the year of COVID, contradictions and confusion for all of us. Punisher, Phoebe Bridgers’ sophomore album was released on June 18th, at the perfect intersection of lockdowns lift and the beginning of summer. The release itself coincided with a time of social upheaval across the US and further afield, prompting Bridgers to move the official release date a day forward from ‘Juneteenth’, the official end of slavery in the US. Across her social media profiles, she prompted her fans to donate to organisations seeking racial justice.

"I'm not [delaying] the record until things go back to 'normal' because I don't think they should,” – https://twitter.com/phoebe_bridgers

The album opens with the instrumental track, ‘DVD Menu,’a seventy-second long, vaguely ominous string-led instrumental reminiscent of the video-game themes the artist would’ve grown up with in the early 2000s. It provides the perfect anticipatory build up into lead-single ‘Garden Song,’ a prospective looking, dreamy love song. Initially released on February 26th, 2020; Garden Song acts somewhat as a sequel to Stranger in the Alps’ Smoke Signals. It follows thematically, melodically, and continues Phoebes’ established lyrical poeticism. Like Smoke Signals, Garden Song is slow, but enthralling. The melody makes you want to listen, the lyrics make you want to fall in love.

Following on from this is second single, and third song, ‘Kyoto,’ in sharp contrast to the slow, strong self-awareness of the earlier songs, Kyoto presents a whirlwind of emotions, an aural dissociation of sorts. Kyoto is fast-paced, guitar led, and even difficult to follow. Almost anxiety-inducing, Kyoto is an exciting accomplishment of alt-pop. Phoebe’s strong descriptive lyrics manage to change themes between and even within verses, suggesting a struggle between her inner and her outer self, and how this same struggle bleeds into her relationships with others.

In musical circles, a ‘Punisher,’ is a name for an overzealous fan. The titular track of the album places Phoebe herself in this role. The song imagines a conversation between Phoebe and an artist she clearly admires very much. It is the first piano-led track of the album; and marks a contrast with the prior songs as she is able to outwardly express her emotion and feelings in the song’s narrative for the first time. While this is essentially a song to a stranger, it is marked with Phoebe’s distinctive emotional lyrics and vocal; and retains the same charge of emotional attachment that has become so characteristic of her discography.

Following this is ‘Halloween,’ a song that plunges us immediately into Phoebe’s narrative and lived situation. Utilising picking on guitar strings to produce the holiday season of the song’s setting sonically, Ms Bridgers takes us into her loveless relationship just in time for ‘cuffing season,’ and the all too familiar feeling of holding on to something that isn’t there, just because of the time of year. The melancholy is only furthered by the repetition in the song’s latter half by Conor Oberst, collaborator and Better Oblivion Community Centrebandmate.

Fan-favourite, and a personal favourite of mine, ‘Chinese Satellite,’ reflects on loss, and grief. Musically, it builds, starting slowly with a single guitar line and Phoebe’s vocals. By the end of the first verse, both the guitars and vocals have been layered, producing a haunting effect only furthered by the synth and drums of the latter half of the song.

Lyrically, Phoebe starts out questioning her circumstances, wondering why this unnamed event has occurred. She later turns this uncertainty onto herself, questioning her own lack of faith. Finally, she remembers memories of herself with the person who has been lost, and in retrospect, she yearns for the belief that she will see them again. This yearning that closes the song is accompanied by a drum, once again paired only with her voice, that is sonically reminiscent of a heartbeat. Chinese Satellite has provided a great comfort to me personally in a time of great loss, and while I know I am calling it extremely early I do not doubt it is my song of the year.

“Moon Song” follows, and it is a love song to someone facing issues with their own self-esteem. With beautifully raw production, the tough scratch of an acoustic guitar provides contrast to the soft and kind vocals. The song provides some of the best lyrics of the album, or perhaps of her entire discography, and in doing so, manage to make a fairly specific story of love through mental illness and self-deprecation accessible to Ms Bridgers’ broad audience.

‘We hate ‘Tears in Heaven’ / But it’s sad his baby died’ – Moon Song, 2020

This theme of a somewhat doomed relationship continues into ‘Savio[u]r Complex,’in this similarly acoustic ballad, orchestral strings pitched above Phoebe’s voice play further into the melancholy and toxicity described throughout the songs’ lyrics. Her use of metaphor and allegory throughout the song helps retain the accessibility of the otherwise characteristically dark lyrics, her strong descriptions throughout playing into the same emotions of Stranger in the Alps’ ‘Funeral.’

‘ICU’ initially released as ‘I See You’ due to the timing of the COVID crisis, was the final single released before the album, on May 19th,2020.  It is a typically Phoebe Bridgers’ breakup song, one that acknowledges the love that she’s losing. Starting with a soft scream, literally, the songs’ vocals are raw over a distorted synth background. Sonically, the song is a mesh of all of the components of the songs preceding it, building to a climax before dropping out just in time for the final verse. This is, in my opinion, the best single, and one of her best to date.

Penultimate song ‘Graceland Too’ swings the album in a bluegrass direction, and in doing so, provides an ode to the influences Bridgers has taken from the genre. Its title references Elvis Presley’s ranch and tourist attraction of the same name. The song features her Boygenius bandmates in its latter half, resulting in an admirable melody not dissimilar to their EP.

The album closes with ‘I Know the End,’ an anthemic ballad that falls just short of six-minutes long. It begins telling different stories, centring around episodes of low-mood and depression, the causes of which are implied consistently to be related to the stresses of touring and the musician’s lifestyle. These stories are told over a guitar-led melody, initially pitched to be much quieter than the vocals. A feat of production, the messy string melody gains traction as the song progresses, building over the first half of the song in pitch, volume and number of instruments. Around the two-minute mark, the song is split by an instrumental, and when vocals return, they bring with them an increasing sense of urgency. The latter half of the song details a road trip Phoebe takes and pays heed to the sights and sounds she encounters throughout.

The song, and thus the album, concludes with a chorus of vocals repeating ‘The End is Near,’ over a chaotic melody of all sorts of instruments and assorted sounds, before descending into shouts and screams from Phoebe and friends in the last number of seconds.

I don’t even believe I need to clarify this, but just in case you have any doubt, this album is my favourite of the year so far. 10/10

[thinkingaboutyoungroyals]

Autumn-y fic request! Cyrus finds out TJ is a pumpkin spice enthusiast and decides to surprise him with a date to the cute shop that sells pumpkin doughnuts and apple cider (from the “Perfect Day 2.0”) episode. This can be an actual date if you want to make it established relationship, or just flirty. Bonus points if Cy recounts losing his shoe and Buffy awkwardly carrying him. TJ scoops him up bridal style to “prove he can do a better job than Buffy” (but really he wants an excuse to hold Cy)

This was a cute prompt! Hope this is okay!

AO3

Absentmindedly tapping his fingers against the table, Cyrus patiently waited for his boyfriend to fetch their breakfast before school.

It all still felt like a dream. He, Cyrus Goodman, was in a relationship. Not a fake one. Not a “are they or aren’t they”. A real, hand-holding, sweet kisses kind, fun dates of relationship.

“Here we are.” T.J. occupied the seat across from him, placing two cups and two saran-wrapped muffins on the table. “Hot chocolate and chocolate-chocolate muffin for my muffin.”

Cyrus blushed, holding back a giggle as his boyfriend pushed the items towards him.

“Thank you,” he said, picking up the muffin and unwrapping it. “You don’t have to do this, you know. I can get my own muffin now.”

And by that, he meant that he always tried to come to school early and line up. But, ever since he and T.J. started dating, the jock had taken it upon himself to grab breakfast for him, instead.

“I know,” T.J. replied with a grin. “But, I want to. Is that okay?”

Smiling, Cyrus nodded before taking a sweet bite of the second most glorious food in the world.

“So,” T.J. began as he unwrapped his own muffin. “What are our plans for this weekend?”

Cyrus looked up, mouth full of muffin. He chewed, quickly, and swallowed. “Um… I haven’t really thought of anything, yet,” he said, rather guiltily.

He was supposed to take T.J. out on a date this weekend. But, so far, he couldn’t think of a good one.

“That’s okay.” T.J. handed him a napkin. “Not everyone can plan a perfect date like I can.” He winked, playfully. “If you want, I can-.”

“No,” Cyrus interrupted with a shake of his head. “I said I would take you out on a date and I will. I’m just trying to think of something that we’ll both enjoy and not result in me twisting an ankle.”

Or throwing up in his shoe but they were eating so he chose not to say that part.

“You know I’m just fine with lunch and a movie.”

“But, that’s a typical date! I want us to do something fun and different!”

On their last date, T.J. had taken him to a space-themed café that just opened up for lunch. Then, they spent the afternoon swinging at the park.

In fact, since the moment they got together, T.J. had been planning all their dates. And Cyrus wanted to return the favor, for once.

“Alright, fine. But, you know I’ll have fun with whatever it is because it’s with you.”

T.J. smiled before opening the seal of his drink and taking a swig. Then, he bit into his muffin, the crumbs falling onto the table. Cyrus caught a whiff of pumpkin and cinnamon and he tilted his head to the side.

“Is that a pumpkin spice muffin?” he asked.

“Mmhmm.” T.J. nodded as he took another bite. “They started serving it when October hit.”

“Can I try your drink?”

T.J. wordlessly pushed his cup towards him and Cyrus picked it up. He took a whiff, noting the sweet scent before taking a sip.

Yep, pumpkin spice.

“You really like pumpkin, huh?” he commented, amused as he returned the cup back to T.J.

His boyfriend blushed, slightly. “Hey, ‘tis the season, might as well,” he replied.

As Cyrus watched T.J. practically inhale his pumpkin spice muffin and down his pumpkin spice drink, the wheels started turning in his head.

…………..

“So, are you gonna tell me where we’re going?” T.J. asked for the tenth time, from the moment they got on the bus to go to the Alpine Slide.

Cyrus kept swinging their entwined hands between them. “Nope. But, you’ll love it. I promise.”

T.J. laughed. “I’m sure, I will.” He looked around the area. “I’ve never been around here before.”

“Really? Andi, Buffy, and I used to take bike rides here. Actually, where I’m taking you is kind of our little secret. But, I got their permission to take you there too.”

“Well, I feel honored.”

Playfully, Cyrus nudged T.J.’s shoulders with his. T.J. nudged back.

Finally, they reached the shop. Cyrus excitedly pulled him inside. As soon as they got a whiff of the air around them, T.J.’s eyes lit up.

“Is that…”

“Pumpkin donuts!” Cyrus declared.

T.J.’s eyes were sparkling as they got in line to order food. Cyrus had never seen him so excited and practically bouncing on his feet like a bunny. If they weren’t holding hands, he would definitely take a video.

After getting a bag of donuts and cups of warm apple cider to ward off the chill from their walk from the bus stop, they settled on a table in the corner and dug in.

T.J. was in euphoria, if his happy little noises were any indication. Cyrus could barely enjoy his own donut as he was too enamored by his boyfriend’s enthusiasm.

“I think these are the best pumpkin donuts I’ve ever had,” T.J. gushed. “I’m definitely buying some to take home. How did you guys find this place?”

And with that, Cyrus regaled him with the tales of the Good Hair Crew’s adventures, specifically Perfect Day 1 and Perfect Day 2.0.

“… and then a villainous bee stung me in the eye! It was awful!” Cyrus shuddered at the memory. “Buffy had to carry me.”

T.J. brows furrowed as he took a sip of his cider. “Really? She carried you?”

“You know how strong she is! And I’m quite light, thank you!”

T.J. smirked. “Bet I can carry you better.”

At that, Cyrus flushed red. “U-Um… there’s a small petting zoo in the back,” he managed, tearing at a donut while trying hard not to grin. “After we eat, we can go there, if you want.”

Grinning, T.J. reached over and squeezed his hand. “Sounds good.”

After finishing their donuts and cider (Cyrus had two, T.J. had four), they went to the back of the shop where a wooly sheep, an overly friendly goat, and a pony were waiting to be petted and given treats. They spent the next half hour petting, feeding, and taking photos to commemorate their date.

And before leaving, T.J. bought himself another bag of pumpkin donuts.

Hand-in-hand, they made their way back to the bus stop with Cyrus recounting his last adventure with the GHC.

“Oh, there’s the quicksand where I lost my shoe!” he pointed out.

T.J. laughed. “Well, good thing you didn’t lose it again this time. Or I might have to carry you back.”

“No, Buffy had to carry me back when I got stung by a bee,” Cyrus corrected. “I’m highly allergic to bees.”

“I guess I’ll have to protect you then? Should I carry you?”

Gosh, T.J. was a really cheesy boyfriend. Cyrus felt pretty privileged to be the only one to see this side of him.

“Well, good thing there aren’t any bees,” Cyrus retorted. “So there’s no need to carry me.”

“I think I can still carry you whether or not you’ve been stung by a bee.”

Cyrus chuckled. “If I didn’t know any better, I think you’re just looking for an excuse to carry me.”

T.J. gasped in pretend shock. “Cyrus Goodman! Are you saying that I have ulterior motives?”

“Don’t you always?”

“Well, maybe I just want to prove that I can do a better job at carrying you than Buffy.”

“Must everything between you two be a competition?”

“It’s how we show affection to each other without all the gross stuff.” Suddenly, T.J. paused in his tracks. He handed Cyrus his bag of donuts. “Can you hold this for me for a sec?”

“Sure?” Confused, Cyrus took the bag.

Before he knew it, his feet were no longer on the ground and he flailed in panic, his arms wrapping around T.J.’s neck. The pumpkin donuts were thankfully still safely clutched in his hands.

“T.J.!”

His boyfriend grinned, happily as he began to walk with Cyrus in his arms. “See? Told you I can carry you better.”

“She carried me on her back!”

“Well, you didn’t say that. But this is better, isn’t it?”

Cyrus was well-aware that he was probably tomato-red right at that moment and it had nothing to do with the chill of the afternoon. And, T.J. was kind of right. Being carried in his arms was more enjoyable than being carried on Buffy’s back. Or maybe it was because he was in T.J.’s arms.

“Silence means ‘yes’,“ T.J. teased.

“Shush,” Cyrus replied, keeping his gaze firmly on the taller boy’s hood.

If he looked up at him, he would blush even more. But, after a minute or so, he couldn’t resist. He lifted his head slightly.

T.J.’s face was so close and his features so sharp and clear. He was reaaaaally handsome. And just looking at him made Cyrus’ stomach fill with butterflies. He couldn’t tear his gaze away.

They arrived right on time to catch the bus and the 10-minute ride was filled with a still red-faced Cyrus laying his head on T.J.’s shoulder. Meanwhile, his boyfriend munched on some of his pumpkin donuts.

Arriving back in town, T.J. walked him home.

“I should be walking you home,” Cyrus said, swinging their entwined hands between them. “I’m the one who took you out.”

“My house is the opposite direction of yours, Underdog,” T.J. replied. “Besides, I don’t mind.” He squeezed Cyrus’ hand. “But, next time you, can walk me.”

Cyrus beamed. “Okay!”

Arriving at his house, he turned on his heels to look at his tall boyfriend.

“Did you have fun?” he asked, a little worriedly.

“Yeah, of course! It was amazing… and I got the most delicious pumpkin donuts to prove it.”

“So… would you say it was the perfect day?” he asked, sheepishly.

T.J. pursed his lips, pretending to think. “Hmm, not quite.”

Cyrus’ face almost fell until the taller boy leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his lips. And Cyrus practically melted.

T.J. broke the kiss and grinned. “Now it’s perfect.”

Cyrus couldn’t agree more.

[featureless-black-orb-official]

64, 69, 86, 89?

64: What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?B L A D E R U N N E R 2049

Fantastic film. I think a really good film captures human experience, and a good sci-fi/fantasy genre uses the abstract impossible scenarios it presents to explore something of humanity in a light we couldn’t achieve in our own world and our own time. There’s so much Bladerunner has to say about humans, about what matters when it comes to what we think is important, when we make distinction between our desires and what we actually want, about identity, about belonging, and about the nature of what makes people people. It’s so well made, the direction and the pacing and the use of colour and themes and juxtaposition and music and sound and their overlapping with the scene and their themes is all so perfect. One of my favorite films.

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing? 

If I didn’t have to work for money, I would probably still be working. The way I’ve always felt towards my work is that I want to make a genuine contribution to the world and make it a better place for my part, and that if I can find someone who will pay me enough to get by to do just that then I’d be content. With that in mind, if I already had plenty of money to get by I would end up working towards whatever I thought was most important that I could help with, without consideration for my own profit. Probably something to do with environmentalism if it had to be something. Or, I’d become prime minister.

What I’d *like* to do with my time, outside of work, is probably live somewhere out in nature, and I’d write a *lot* more than I do now. I’d definitely be learning some languages (Probably european ones, French, Swedish, German, Spanish) and  keeping myself healthy, and I’d be travelling wherever I could (preferably with my lovely friends).

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

I remember a specific dream that I had about a year and a half ago that I don’t think i’m ever gonna forget, so sit tight because i’m getting some description on

So it began out in an airfield in a big open grassy field at sunset, and I was flying in a propeller two-person plane through the sky above the airfield. It was the valley where I grew up, Rossendale, beneath me, and as the sun set and night descended I lost track of where the landing strip was and I was losing fuel so I panicked and got lost, and I only had the light from the front of my plane to see by. As I flew it started getting cloudy and snowy in the darkness, and I saw a huge cliff emerge in front of me all of a sudden, so I swerved and flew alongside it, and it was covered in long, drooping icicles and snow drifts across it’s surface, and I was slowly descending because I was slow and low on fuel. Underneath me I started to see the treetops of a huge pine forest down in the darkness, with little lights hanging between the trees shining out in the snow, and just before I plunged in to the canopy I saw something orange and reddish on the side of the cliff to my left, whizzing past me as I flew, I jumped out of the plane as it was about to slam in to the trees, and I land on my face in a thick blanket of snow, unharmed. As I look up i’m standing on this pathway bride of wood, suspended half way up the sides of these huge pine trees in the forest, the forest floor far below in darkness. The bridge ahead of me is covered in untouched white snow and there are lamps like old style 19th century streetlamps glowing along it. As I start to walk I see the branches of one of the trees towards the huge, hanging cliff, begin to rustle and move as snow falls from it, and I flinch, but a beautiful red fox jumps out on to the bridge and shakes itself free of the snow and it comes and says hi.That’s all I remember of it, and I don’t know what about it is so intense in my mind, but I’ll always have the image of the huge snowy forest about on all sides and the bridge amidst the treetops.

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?            

I had a teacher for my GCSE’s and A-Levels called Mr Hargreaves, and it’s him that I owe my current path on my way to becoming a professional engineer, but I also remember plenty of times where something would happen in the news or current events would boil up and he’d take it upon himself to sit us down and really make sure we’re educated about the world around us, what our country, our society, our community were doing and why. He’d talk to us about history, economics, politics, and he’d do it in a way that was relevant to us and our developing relationship with the world outside of our own homes, town, and our personal life. He would answer any question we posed as comprehensively as he could, and he would make sure to encourage our curiosity of the world wherever he could concerning whatever we were curious about. I say this knowing he was an absolutely enormous dork, and the butt of 90% of our inside jokes, but I owe a lot more to him than I think I often give him credit for.

[musicnachrichten-blog]

Malihini - Debut album 'Hopefully, Again' out now - Stream it in full

“Lo-fi pop with a shimmering, gauzy sense of style” CLASH "Malihini melt hearts on pulsing pop tune" The Line of Best Fit "Malihini are about to become your new favourite double act" Wonderland "Hypnotic" Neu Pick, DIY Lo-fi pop duo Malihini, a.k.a. Rome-based Giampaolo Speziale and Federica Caiozzo, have released their debut album 'Hopefully, Again' through Memphis Industries. Malihini have been confirmed for The Great Escape Festival, as well as for a string of European dates alongside Piroshka. More dates to be announced soon. Thu 25 Apr - Backstage - Paris, FR w/Piroshka Sat 27 Apr - Privatclub - Berlin, DE w/Piroshka Sun 28 Apr - Vega - Copenhagen, DK w/Piroshka Thu 9-11 May - The Great Escape - Brighton, UK https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9NVjp_kr6U&feature=youtu.be Malihini, which means ‘newcomers’ in Hawaiian, deal exclusively in the music of lived experience and time-honed emotional intelligence, their disarming musical universe never less than distinctive, yet resonating with a confessional, modern European pop sophistication of a kind elsewhere purveyed by the likes of Charlotte Gainsbourg, Jose Gonzalez and Our Broken Garden. Listening to the ten co-written songs that grace Malihini’s exquisite debut longplayer, 'Hopefully, Again', can sometimes feel like eavesdropping on a couple’s intimate emotional dialogues, such is the ingenuous honesty of the duo’s writing. Yet combined with their minimal, yet opulently textured arrangements crammed with subtle melodic hooks and an embarrassment of earworm choruses, they transform the personal into the universal with a delightfully unforced eloquence. The notion of art imitating life is mirrored by Malihini’s back story, which reads like the screenplay to a Wim Wenders road movie – the couple’s first encounter occurring at 5am one morning in 2015, when Speziale, driving back to Rome, picked up a distraught, hitchhiking Caiozzo. “I took her home – she was having a hard time with her ex-boyfriend”, he recalls, matter-of-factly. “I didn’t see her again for two or three months, but then we met by chance at a concert. We sort of avoided each other at first… eventually we spoke and later we went back to her house. We’ve been together ever since”. Caiozzo has described meeting Speziale as “a moment of surrender”. The idea of working artistically together took time to germinate, however. “I’ve always been drawn to male musicians and singers”, admits Caiozzo, frankly, “but we decided not to play or sing together at all at first. Then we took this trip through Italy, Germany and Poland and eventually we thought, ‘Why not? So we started writing ideas for songs and ended up playing shows together in small bars along the way”. 'Hopefully, Again' track listing: 1. 'A House On A Boat' 6. 'Can't Stand That' 2. 'Hopefully, Again' 7. 'If U Call' 3. 'Delusional Boy' 8. 'The Snow' 4. 'Nefertiti 9. 'The Afterdays' 5. 'Giving Up On Me' 10. 'Song #1' The duo’s individual, pre-Malihini career stories reinforce the romantic, cinematic theme. Caiozzo, born in Sicily to Italian and Polish parents, moved to Rome in 2009 to study music, hone her distinctively smoky singing voice and, ultimately, enjoy a successful solo career under the name Thony. This lead to an invitation from noted director Paolo Virzì to contribute to the soundtrack to his 2012 film 'Tutti i santi giorni' (Every Blessed Day). Obviously impressed, the director duly cast Caiozzo in the movie’s lead role. Roman Speziale also has experience in film and TV, both as an actor and soundtrack composer, and, indeed, the couple’s meeting seems to have more than a dash of artistic kismet about it. The couple began to steer destiny more assiduously in 2016, putting their previous musical aliases to bed, launching Malihini and signing to esteemed London imprint Memphis Industries. They debuted with a hypnotic single, ‘Miss’, towards the end of that year, with another, ‘Waiting’, following in early summer 2017, helping arouse considerable blogosphere interest. An EP, 'Lose Everything', was released in September. Designed, according to Speziale, to “capture that moment when you first start writing together, when you make yourself vulnerable to someone else”, tracks were recorded in the south London house of an Egyptologist, no less, with oversight and synths from Wild Beasts/Darkstar/Ghostpoets producer Richard Formby. After debuting on Loud and Quiet, the EP was soon championed by the likes of Stereogum and The Line of Best Fit, all of which, alongside headline shows in London and an opening slot for Warpaint, helped usher Malihini toward a bigger spotlight. That inexorable process continues apace with the release of 'Hopefully, Again'. Swapping Camberwell for Mid Wales, specifically the remote Giant Wafer studio in Powys (“it was just us and a few sheep and chickens”, recalls Speziale), the album was recorded quickly, with the duo playing most of the instruments live, abetted once again by producer Richard Formby and long-term drumming amico Alberto Paone. Writing had begun earlier in the year during an extended retreat on the Aeolian island of Vulcano, off the coast of Sicily. Images and atmospheres of the sea and ‘blueness’ duly permeate the album’s leanly arranged songs. “We always wanted to have just a few instruments,” says Speziale, explaining 'Hopefully, Again's pared-back palette. “We write using only a guitar, a Casiotone keyboard, a toy synth and a drum machine. We’d start with loops and then just improvise melodies over the top, not listening back for three or four hours”. The lyrics would come later. “Some of the songs definitely take inspiration from personal events in our life, but sometimes I imagine things from someone else’s perspective”, says Speziale, reflecting on Malihini’s apparently candid, close-up-and-personal narratives. “We recorded a lot of the vocals alone together in our room at the studio, and I think that adds another layer of intimacy. "We sometimes go to separate rooms to actually write the words”, elaborates Caiozzo. “Then we come together and see how we really feel about each other! It’s a good way to talk about problems as a couple without needing to go to a psychiatrist!” Whether the songs work as de facto relationship counselling or not, they remain consistently intriguing and irrefutably alluring, always navigating deftly between emotional light and shade. The soulful, superficially pretty title track is a case in point: its languid drums and woozy electric guitar hook-line ushering in a sort of conversation between circling lovers – Caiozzo taking the first verse, Speziale the second, the two combining for the redemptive and addictive “Love is coming back” chorus line. “It’s about when you’re first really into one another”, explains Speziale. “When you try to be someone, as seen through the eyes of the other”. Likewise, the ensuing ‘Delusional Boy', with its sunlit, glass-half-full fantasy optimism (capturing a “mind-escaping feeling”, according to Caiozzo), upbeat drums and almost African guitar figure, is neatly undercut by its recurring vocal refrain, “Delusional Boy/Delusional Girl” – the downbeat rejoinder conveyed with a typically euphonious duo vocal melody. www.facebook.com/wearemalihini/ www.twitter.com/wearemalihini www.instagram.com/wearemalihini BigMouth Read the full article

[mathewryf]

Sonic Tag Meme

Tagged by @kaotickanine

How long have you been a Sonic Fan? I was watching Sonic X waaaaaaaay back in the day, right around when my cognitive memory started functioning (2000-2001 ish) Sonic was my favorite at the time due to my underdeveloped understanding of the franchise and its characters.

First sonic game played: Sonic Heroes! Special mention to Sonic Advance and Sonic Adventure 2: Battle for being the first games I actually owned.

Top 3 Favorite Characters: Tails is my number one! As for two and three, it’s up in the air because I like too many. Help me :U

Favorite Vocal Track: A 3 way tie!

Shoutout to the character themes though, they’re also good tracks.

Favorite non-vocal track:

It was between this, Poloy Forest from Tails Adventure, and Door into Summer from Knuckles Chaotix.

Top 3 Games: splitting this into two lists

3D games: Sonic Adventure, Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic Heroes (sorry Unleashed, just missed it)

2D games: Sonic CD, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sonic 3 & Knuckles

Top 5 Stages: 

Lost World (Sonic Adventure) especially with how it ties into the lore of Knuckles’ lost people

City Escape (Sonic Adventure 2) because the music kicks butt, and that truck is still out for blood to this day.

Egg Fleet (Sonic Heroes), that stage was a lot of fun, not to mention the intro to the stage itself. Loved Sonic’s line in particular, Ryan Drummond’s delivery was awesome!

Quartz Quadrant (Sonic CD), the boss for the Round was great, the aesthetic is also very nice (especially the good future)

Ice Mountain (Sonic Advance) because I feel right at home, and the stage has many interesting paths for everyone. Plus it’s the only time I get to tread water with Knuckles.

Favorite Team, (Team Rose, Sonic, Dark, Chaotix): All good choices, but Team Chaotix man. They’re legit.

Favorite game intro: Sonic Adventure 2. As much as I love Unleashed for the animation and for how happenin’ SA1 was, SA2 nailed it just right for me.

Which game has the best story: OH NO, you’re making me chooooose. AGH, overall is a tough choice, as when the stories are well put together they’re all on the same level for me, with some good and bad points. SA1 is a bit unfocused, but the interactions and what it was trying to convey for everyone struck a chord for me. The theme of opening up and accepting the self is solid.

SA2′s theme of Loss and Redemption was one I really needed when I became a teenager. After a lot of trauma just as I was hitting that period, I needed it to show me that despite all of it, I need to collect myself and do my best to keep doing what I need to do. Even if I lose my way, I can still find the way back if I do my best and carry an open mind. As for downsides, there really needed to be more background and details on the lore of the game.

Unleashed is very much a game about opening your eyes. In order to truly see what potential lies within you, you have to know where the possibilities are. Stay true to yourself, but always look forward and keep moving. That midgame story halt really hampers the overall plot though.

In the end I really can’t choose between these.

2D, 3D, or Both: I thing there’s always room for both, but by now I want a fully 3D Sonic game again. As much as I enjoy Unleashed, Rush and the Classics, I’m still very much an avid fan of the Adventure Era games. I don’t think they ever found a way to perfect the style like they have the boost, if only because they were severely limited.

Sonic Mania or Sonic Forces: Why can’t I have both? Seriously, I missed out on everything after Unleashed (sans Sonic Rivals 2) I’m in need of something more. Honestly I want to see this new character in Forces before I make any statements regarding the gameplay, but I do agree that Classic Sonic was unnecessary, though I do think he’ll be enjoyable anyway. I was initially disgruntled with Green Hill Zone, but with the desertification and how that ties so well with the overall thematic of Classic Sonic, I’m giving it the benefit of  a doubt.

As for Mania, looks freaking incredible, like the power of the 32X was added to S3&K! The drop dash looks fun, love the animations, Tails is super adorbs, and Knux is looking fresh with his Chaotix pallete and design elements.

Which character(s) would you want to see in the Boom show: Team Chaotix for sure, especially if they interact with Knuckles in a meaningful way. Otherwise, Blaze and Marine could fit well.

Best Sonic Show: Hmm.... I don’t count the OVA as a show, so I would Say it’s between Sonic X and Sonic Boom.

Favorite Sonic Era: The Adventure Era. Even after the introduction to the Classics, which I have very much enjoyed, I still prefer Adventure-era stuff. It’s due to the increased character interaction and growth during that time, though unfortunately a lot of it was halted after Heroes. I think some of my favorite stuff was with Tails growing into his own shoes. Instead of hiding behind Sonic, he started to stand beside him, not to mention how much better his relationships became in general. One of my favorite lines is in Final Fortress Super Hard, where Knuckles pokes harmless fun at his fear of lightning, to which he brings forward his confidence... though he is still scared a little bit.

Also, SHADOW AND GAMMA. Two of the most well utilized characters for a time, and also the ones to tug my heartstrings a bit, even if it was only a temporary/small tug.

There’s also the Chao stuff, the fact we had so many playable characters that had something important to do, the music was brought even further forward... AWESOME

Tag 5 or more people: @bunbun-buneary @gexshik @rontufox @theblurredline23 @gambalt

[ta1lulah]

yep. so apparently this is what i’m doing with my quarantine time now.

i am going to rank every travis scott song from his studio albums. there are quite a few instances where i find it impossible to put one song over the other, so the top 1-10 is pretty interchangeable to me. including the deluxe edition songs, there are 47 songs for me to rank in total.

this is in no way me trashing trav’s music (if you don’t know me i literally live so far up his ass that if he sneezed i would come out of his nostrils and have done for many years), it’s just something that i am scarily qualified to write about and should entertain me for a while.

just as a quick pre-cursor to the list: birds is my favourite trav album by far and astroworld had a lot of skips for me, so of course that is reflected. if you don’t agree with that i don’t really care; my mind cannot be changed.

yes i am aware that owl pharaoh and dbr exist.

i’ll explain my choices as best as i can, let’s go

47. wonderful

i fucking HATE this song. ruins the entire vibe of birds and the only song on the entire record that i will ever skip. after having the ends as an intro and apple pie closing off rodeo, i just don’t know what this song is doing. it needs to be deleted

46. nc-17

it’s ok. i just always skip it and it’s very plain to me, i’m not mad at it

45. stop trying to be god

SO overrated. i don’t get it at all. boring fucking song to me

44. rip screw

as above

43. carousel

loved it when i first heard it but it got old super quickly and has little replay value to me. bangs when you haven’t heard it in a while

42. coffee bean

in theory i should like it but i just don’t like the execution. i appreciate it but it’s not for me

41. flying high

i know this song gets trashed on a lot and i dont agree with that completely. it’s a good song but again doesn’t have the heavy replay value that the majority of rodeo has (not to mention it ruins the flow of rodeo, in my opinion)

40. houstonfornication

OVERRATED. when astroworld dropped i saw so so many people putting this in their top 3 off the record and i simply don’t get it at all. it’s a solid song but it’s boring, i never find myself putting this song on voluntarily

39. sicko mode

it was inevitably going to come in low. you may know that i dont trash talk drake, but seriously fuck the second half of this song that drake RUINS. i could happily go about the rest of my life without hearing this song ever again. trav’s first verse is the only reason this is not placed in the 40’s

38. ok alright

from this point on i dont dislike any of these songs and this was pretty painful to place. this song goes, but i am unable to place it any higher. it just feels like a (very good) throwaway track that got slung onto the deluxe edition. also q and trav should sound better than this, i think they could’ve made something better than this track together, i wanted their song to sound like it could’ve been on oxymoron (a wholly flawless record).

37. who? what!

i’m actually really fond of this song and listen to it a lot. to me it just sounds out of place on astroworld and was definitely a huncho jack throwaway

36. stargazing

the beat change aged like old milk. i will admit when i first heard this though, i loved it so much. and the feeling you get when the intro to stargazing starts playing before trav comes out on stage is unmatched, so it has a special place in my heart for that alone. in terms of astroworld as a whole, i think it’s the perfect first song for the album

35. goosebumps

maybe ive heard it way too many times, i’m not sure. but it would feel wrong for me to place this in my top 30, i dont find myself putting it on ever. a classic nevertheless

34. pray 4 love

i used to fuck with this song so much but recently it’s just not doing it for me. something about listening to it now just makes it sound corny to me. “wanna know my dick longer than a pringle box” will live on forever

33. wake up

bangs, but again this song is corny as fuck (maybe it’s just the weeknd as i’m seeing a theme now)

32. 5% tint

solid song, can’t put m y finger on it but it just lacks personality, outro is godly though

31. guidance

i love this song seriously, but i can understand why lots of people don’t. it fits perfectly on birds and it’s placement within the album is stunning, but as a standalone track it’s pretty weak. i would love trav to make more songs in this style

30. wasted

this song is slept on, i love it so much. but if the yung lean version had made it onto rodeo this would be a top 10 track EASY.

29. butterfly effect

we all know this song goes, i listened to this way way way too much when it was first released

28. outside

this was painful. the 21 savage feature is flawless, this song is so interesting to me. beat is gorgeous

27. astrothunder

pretty song, didn’t blow me away but i’m super fond of it. the way tracks 11-15 of astroworld play is perfect and really redeemed the album for me

26. 90210

yep. honestly if this is in your top 3 favourite travis songs i have nothing to say to you. beautiful song, second half is stunning, we all know that, but how is this top 3. LISTEN TO BIRDS IN FULL!!!

25. yosemite

i really like this song but i can’t take it seriously because of nav microphone-gate. (u know)

24. lose

i LOVE this song, but it’s not strong enough to be top 20. it’s a cute song, i dont know

23. piss on your grave

this song has such a special place in my heart. the motherfucking visuals!!!

22. 3500

the future verse. that is all.

21. beibs in the trap

the way this is placed on the album are you kidding me?! perfect. and yes, because it’s nav it missed out on a top 20 spot. it is what it is (the trav verse is absolutely flawless in every way)

20. never catch me

this deserved to actually be on rodeo rather than a deluxe track. the production wooooowwwweeee

19. maria im drunk

i cant even put into words the way i felt hearing thug say “travis scott” on this song for the first time. and the fucking justin bieber verse! godly

18. sweet sweet

such a *sweet* little song, i have an extreme soft spot for it

17. antidote

i dont have to explain this.we all know this song. if you havent seen it live all i can offer you is my deepest condolences

16. through the late night

kid cudi means everything to me and this partnership was always going to create something sensational <3 it is everything i was expecting and more (side note: i am coming back to this a couple of days later after THE SCOTTS has been announced, yes my entire life is made, and when the joint album drops best believe i will be writing a several thousand word post about it)

15. pornography

there couldn’t possibly be a better opening track to rodeo. this shit is like onomatopoeia, i know u know what i mean

14. skeletons

travis and kevin parker working together! of COURSE the song is this beautiful!!! i need an entire joint album plzzzzzzzzz

13. the ends

3 stacks. no more needs to be said (actually i will say that the fact that he was supposed to narrate this album like ti did for rodeo and that it never happened routinely keeps me up at night)

12. apple pie

this was my favourite song off rodeo for a loooooooong time. im a loser and still tear up when i listen to the record in full and hear the last lines

11.  no bystanders

purely for sheck’s “BITCH!”

10. can’t say

it’s true i do transcend every time i hear “gotta take a long drive up the hill”

9. sdp interlude

perfect in every single way. how/where it’s placed on the record is breathtaking. would be in the number 1 spot if it was longer

8. nightcrawler

oh the sosa verse really means everything to me

7. pick up the phone

come on now. all i will say is this: experience this song live, do yourself a favour. i have a fantasic video of trav and thug performing this live at wireless 2019, but unfortunately my manic screaming/crying ruins the whole fucking video. so just take my word for it

6. coordinate

i genuinely cant fathom how perfect this song is. i hate to use the word “vibe” but jeez the *vibe* this song gives off is unlike any other. THIS is my favourite style of trav’s music

5. impossible

legitimately get chills every time i hear “split a pack of the woods down”. yes. the production!

4. way back

everything about this song. the  second half. again, see this song live is a spiritual experience. also, i couldnt love this song any more but then uzi samples this and it just gave me a WHOLE other layer of appreciation for it. what a fucking song (both prices and way back)

3. i can tell

just listen to this again. the “take it up another notcher” part. how is it real?!!!

2. first take

SOOOOO underrated. never in my life would i ever think that the sentence “bryson tiller killed that” would leave my mouth but here we are. the way this transitions into pick up the phone.

1. oh my

we made it!!!! honestly i struggled so fucking much to find a #1 but i think it will have to be this song because it is just so sentimental to me. when i first listened to rodeo this was immediately my favourite song off it and it still remains perfect in every way several years on. quavo in the second half of the song is STUNNING, words just dont do anything about this song justice

if anyone read to the end here we go, if you think my choices were fucked up and idiotic feel free to send me hate via instagram dm (@ta1lulah, plug!)

my actual favourite travis song of all time fucking ever is skyfall, but as i put earlier i was only ranking songs from studio albums.

in conclusion, birds is a criminally misunderstood masterpiece -ta1lulah

[t-baba]

Transcript: Ask the UXperts: Meaningful Animation – Getting it Right — with Val Head

Animation is a word that used to make me shudder.

I’m from a generation of devs that grew up in the era of Flash splash screens. Say no more.

But Val Head has changed all that for me.

She has successfully demonstrated that if you are smart about how and when you use animation in your work, the results can be spectacular. Take Stripe’s checkout experience for example. It uses animation to guide you through a process, reducing cognitive load and adding delight. And that is just one of the great examples we chatted about.

If you’ve always been a skeptic, read through Val’s transcript. You won’t be disappointed.

If you didn’t make the session because you didn’t know about it, make sure you join our community to get updates of upcoming sessions.

If you’re interested in seeing what we discussed, or you want to revisit your own questions, here is a full transcript of the chat.

Transcript

hawk

2017-04-26 22:02

First up I want to say a huge thank you to @valhead for her time today. She doesn’t know me from a grain of salt, but I cold emailed her and here she is.

hawk

2017-04-26 22:02

Legendary and much appreciated.

hawk

2017-04-26 22:02

For those of you that haven’t been to one of these sessions before – they’re very simple. I intro Val, she intros the topic, and you get to ask questions.

hawk

2017-04-26 22:03

If it gets crazy busy, I’ll acknowledge your questions like this

hawk

2017-04-26 22:03

:grey_question:

hawk

2017-04-26 22:03

And queue them behind the scenes to Val to answer in order

majabrugos

2017-04-26 22:03

has joined #ask-the-uxperts

tatianap

2017-04-26 22:03

has joined #ask-the-uxperts

hawk

2017-04-26 22:03

Full transcript up on http://uxmastery.com tomorrow (my time)

hawk

2017-04-26 22:03

So, the formal intro:

hawk

2017-04-26 22:04

@valhead is a web animation expert and author with a talent for getting designers and developers alike excited about the power of animation. She is the author of Designing Interface Animation on Rosenfeld Media and teaches CSS Animation on http://lynda.com.

hawk

2017-04-26 22:04

http://ift.tt/1LOE6og

hawk

2017-04-26 22:04

She curates the UI Animation Newsletter, co-hosts the Motion and Meaning podcast, and leads web animation workshops at companies and conferences around the world.

hawk

2017-04-26 22:04

http://ift.tt/1PWPshd

hawk

2017-04-26 22:04

http://ift.tt/1KdRxSH

hawk

2017-04-26 22:05

And she’s here today to talk to us about animation and how we can use it successfully in our work

hawk

2017-04-26 22:05

@valhead The mic is yours. Can you give us an intro to the topic please?

valhead

2017-04-26 22:06

Thanks @hawk! (And thanks for inviting me to do this session)

valhead

2017-04-26 22:06

Hello everyone! I’m really glad you joined us to talk UI animation today.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:06

It’s awesome to see so many people here from so many places!

valhead

2017-04-26 22:07

Our topic tonight is UI animation for the web. And I’ve found that it’s some people are hesitant to use in their work.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:07

Sometimes because they feel they don’t know it well enough.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:08

But often times I think it’s more not being sure how to use it.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:09

And, of course, there’s also some folks who are totally against web animation at all because they only associate it with things like skip intros or banner ads and such.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:09

but animation on the web does not have to be those things if you don’t want it to.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:09

(I’ve most definitely seen Flash-like skip intros made with CSS, and maybe you have to, but there’s so much more animation can do on the web.)

valhead

2017-04-26 22:11

For example, Stripe’s Checkout uses animation in nearly every interaction in the checkout process. http://ift.tt/1f8E1en But buying something with that services doesn’t feel over done or flashy

valhead

2017-04-26 22:11

(You can use the “donate to watsi” button on their site to see it in action for yourself)

valhead

2017-04-26 22:11

And sites likes http://ift.tt/2nKbNTc use animation to bring the artist’s work to life.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:12

Both of those examples provide top-notch experiences, and neither would be the same without the animation because it’s truly part of the design.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:13

Every animation in Checkout is there for a reason. They’re there to help you, the person using it, to buy a thing.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:13

The key to great UI animation is that combination of purpose and style.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:14

There are a number of ways animation can add to UX in ways that some of our other design tools may not be quite as good at

valhead

2017-04-26 22:15

Maintaining spacial orientation is one thing animation can be a big help with.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:16

Often times, parts of an interface or some functionality needs to live off screen or out of view, or even behind other elements. We can use animation to help users get a sense of the space and layering of an interface even when they can’t see eveything

valhead

2017-04-26 22:17

Cotton Bureau uses animations to reveal the steps of their checkout process, and to reveal their navigation even though both are offscreen initially http://ift.tt/2g8Zmk1

valhead

2017-04-26 22:18

the nav slides on from the left and the checkout flow continues on to the right of what’s visible on screen. The animations that transition each in and out of view show users where those things “live”.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:18

This helps to reduce the cognitive load for the users by showing them this relationship visually instead of them having to keep track in their heads.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:19

Animation can also be a huge help for giving feedback for two reasons

valhead

2017-04-26 22:19

First because motion tends to draw our eye, and as designers we can use motion to direct users’ attention to where an important thing is happening. Or, even where a mistake has been made.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:20

That aspect can be really helpful for avoiding change blindness too.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:20

Second because animation can help us display multiple kinds of feedback in a small space.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:21

Stripe’s donate or pay button is a good example of this. The loading time and success state confirmation are all taken care of by that button thanks to the animation they use.

glennveugen

2017-04-26 22:21

Q: “motion tends to draw attention to our eye”. Does this lose its effect over time? Should we maybe distinguish between animations for first time use, and repeat use, where animation might lose its effectiveness?

valhead

2017-04-26 22:22

The third useful thing animation can help with that I want to mention tonight is animation’s affect on perceived performance.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:23

By using animation during times of un-avoidable waits (loading, saving, etc) animation can help make it seem like those wait times are shorter by focusing users on the progress instead of the wait. Or by building trust with a well designed (not generic) loader.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:24

Shopify has a great progress focused loader when you create a new account. It lists a series of steps over time like “1. Preparing your store” “2. starting your theme” as your wait for your new account to be made.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:24

Those steps certainly aren’t happening as they’re listed, but they keep you focused on the progress, not the wait.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:25

Viget did a really interesting study a while back on loaders, seeing what kind of animation people would wait for the longest. Their conclusion was that people would wait longer for more detailed and designed loading animations, but got frustrated sooner with generic loaders. Really interesting!

valhead

2017-04-26 22:25

http://ift.tt/2kepWqp

valhead

2017-04-26 22:26

@glennveugen I’m not sure it loses effectiveness over time as much as it could become annoying if you use large amounts of animation for a very repetitive task.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:27

For example, banner ads were animated to get our attention. And i’m not sure that ever stopped working so much as we all got so annoyed with it we learned to ignore the whole section of where banners typically were or blocked them entirely.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:28

So, I would say that grand animations for bringing something on to the screen, or transitioning between views could get old fast if used more than just on the first time around.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:28

But things like shaking the form field that has an error, or a pulsing tool-tip probably wouldn’t suffer from that same effct.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:29

Context matters too, of course. So it would vary from case to case.

hawk

2017-04-26 22:29

Ready for questions @valhead ?

valhead

2017-04-26 22:29

Yes! let’s do some questions :slightly_smiling_face:

hawk

2017-04-26 22:30

Hit Val with your questions!

glennveugen

2017-04-26 22:30

when is a good time in the design process to start taking animation into account, and what is a good approach to it?

valhead

2017-04-26 22:30

Ah, that’s a good question for sure

glennveugen

2017-04-26 22:31

animation is usually the first aspect that’s being sacrificed, unfortunately :slightly_smiling_face:

valhead

2017-04-26 22:31

As early in the design process as possible, really. Right from the beginning. The earlier you start thinking about where animation could be useful in specific tasks or user flows, the better chance you’ll come up with something good.

stuartmurray

2017-04-26 22:31

as far as accessibility is concerned, what would be some good fundamentals to keep in mind when including animation in design?

valhead

2017-04-26 22:31

And the better chance that your entire team will see its value.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:32

@glennveugen For better or worse, I think the main reason animation is the first thing to be sacrificed is that we allow it to be seen as just “extra” or “decoration”.

mynameischad

2017-04-26 22:33

Do you / how do you use storyboarding a lot to work out interactions and CTA animations?

valhead

2017-04-26 22:33

But if we treat it as a true design tool, it becomes part of the whole design effort.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:33

So, to avoid animation being seen as just an “extra” we need to include in it our design discussion and process early on and be able to articulate its value. Just like we would for other design tools like type and colour and such.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:35

@stuartmurray Definitely. Accessibility concerns can be a bit different with animation

glennveugen

2017-04-26 22:35

And how to convey design specs to developers? Type and colour are rather simple, also in terms of CSS setup? How is this with animations? There are lots of aspects that come into play when dealing with animation: duration, easing, … Any tips or tools to make design specs for animation?

valhead

2017-04-26 22:36

There’s the basic stuff in the WACG like not flashing the screen and including pause/play controls and such

valhead

2017-04-26 22:36

But since that was written for a slightly different era of web design, we need to connect some of the dots ourselves

mynameischad

2017-04-26 22:36

Not flashing is, I’m assuming, to avoid epileptic shock?

valhead

2017-04-26 22:37

For example, rotating carousels and such are long playing animations really, and they should have some kind of pause/play controls

valhead

2017-04-26 22:37

Not moving the actionable items is another thing to keep in mind

valhead

2017-04-26 22:37

And that sounds like something that’s easy to avoid. Like, who would want to move a button someone is trying to click on, right?

stuartmurray

2017-04-26 22:38

yes that’s a pet hate actually, I think I’ve used sites or apps that moved the buttons I was trying to tap or click on

valhead

2017-04-26 22:38

But I’ve seen more than one slideshow/carousel of content out there that is on an auto timer with no way to pause it and the button fades away before someone can click on it if they have any mobility issues at all. (Or even if they were just like, distracted for a second)

valhead

2017-04-26 22:39

Triggering issues with motion sickness and vestibular disorders is possible with animation. And that’s not something we’ve really had to think about before

valhead

2017-04-26 22:40

I wrote an article on what that means, and how we can avoid triggering people on A List Apart a while back: http://ift.tt/2oRfI1w

valhead

2017-04-26 22:41

Browsers are starting to implement a reduce motion media query to help with that too

valhead

2017-04-26 22:41

http://ift.tt/2lyLQ9e

mra.kumar

2017-04-26 22:42

What are the tools we can use for creating an Anemation for any application?

valhead

2017-04-26 22:42

@mynameischad I use storyboards often as initial sketches for animation ideas.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:43

I find they can be really helpful for getting groups of people to give input on animations too. Project managers, designers, UX folks…. everyone can draw some simple storyboards to show a possible animated solution.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:43

So they can be really useful for getting a conversation going around animation and where it could possibly be useful.

mynameischad

2017-04-26 22:43

When I do it, I tend to treat them like keyframes (using arrows and such to denote motion)

mynameischad

2017-04-26 22:44

Are there techniques that you tend to fall back on?

valhead

2017-04-26 22:44

When it comes to actually evaluating if an animated CTA is effective though, I think interactive prototypes can be more hepful. It can be difficult to really judge things like that without testing out how they feel to interact with.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:44

But starting with storyboards to narrow down the possible approaches or ideas can be really useful before jumping into a prototype too.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:46

@mynameischad Yep, drawing out the key aspects of the motion in boxes, or frames, is pretty much how I use them. I really like Eva Lotta-Lamm’s approach for sketching animated interactions.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:46

She doesn’t call them storyboards by name, but her approach works great for storyboards.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:47

Her advice is to sketch out the trigger of the interaction, the action that will be animated and then write out some description of the quality, or how the animation should look/feel

valhead

2017-04-26 22:47

I thought her approach was so useful I interviewed her about it for the UI Animation Newsletter: http://ift.tt/2hmzuyV

mynameischad

2017-04-26 22:48

YES! Awesome

valhead

2017-04-26 22:48

(She’s the best at sketching interface things!)

valhead

2017-04-26 22:48

@glennveugen conveying animation design decisions to developers doesn’t have a really great solution yet

valhead

2017-04-26 22:48

I know that at least a couple of the prototyping tools are working on better ways to do this

valhead

2017-04-26 22:49

because it’s so essential

valhead

2017-04-26 22:49

my advice is to give developers some visual representation of the animation. Either a motion mock up (video of how it should work/look essentially) or even a basic prototype.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:50

Then also provide them with duration and delay values for the animations, details of the easing used (the cubic-bezier curve or spring values, or however else they’re expressed) along with any repeat values or iteration counts

valhead

2017-04-26 22:51

I know some larger teams have developed their own internal tools for pulling the data devs need out of After Effects-made motion comps. But even just writing it out by hand will be helpful.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:52

And if you’ve just been working out all the details of a particular animated interaction, you can probably rattle most of that stuff off right off your head. So it’s best to write that all down right after working on the design side of the animation. Much easier that way :slightly_smiling_face:

valhead

2017-04-26 22:53

@mra.kumar Sorry, I’m not sure I understand your question. Are you looking for a tool that exports animation for all possible platforms?

mra.kumar

2017-04-26 22:54

Yes for Android and other devices

hawk

2017-04-26 22:55

We have time for one more question after this. Anyone got one?

valhead

2017-04-26 22:55

@mra.kumar Depending on what kind of animations you’re looking to create a tool like Airbnb’s Lottie might do the trick.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:55

http://ift.tt/2jYR8fh

valhead

2017-04-26 22:56

It uses the bodymovin’ library to export animations from an After Effect composition to android, iOS or React Native compatible files

vedanthk

2017-04-26 22:56

Are there certain parameters to look out for when we picture adding UI animations?

valhead

2017-04-26 22:56

Bodymoinv’ itself can be used to translate After Effects compositions to SVG or canvas for the web as well http://ift.tt/1FnHQJv

mra.kumar

2017-04-26 22:56

@Valhead Thanks

valhead

2017-04-26 22:57

Those tend to work best for animations that aren’t dependent on interaction though

valhead

2017-04-26 22:58

@vedanthk It’s hard to make over-arching rules that can apply to every variety of UI animation out there, but I think if there’s one thing to keep in mind across the board, it’s context.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:59

Or maybe more specifically, how well the animation fits with the current context.

valhead

2017-04-26 22:59

A good fit with the context is what makes animations feel right or work well.

valhead

2017-04-26 23:01

The same animations that are great in a game’s UI, for example, may not be great for a corporate web site, no matter how well those animations were designed.

valhead

2017-04-26 23:01

In the same way, an animation that’s perfect for calling attention to an error, may not work at if it’s used on every button in a navigation bar.

valhead

2017-04-26 23:02

The purpose of the animation has to fit the context it’s in for it to feel right, essentially.

valhead

2017-04-26 23:03

If the context and the animation gel, it makes for a great experience. So much so that the animations almost become invisible because they’re just part of the experience and the overall design.

hawk

2017-04-26 23:04

And we’re about out of time!

mra.kumar

2017-04-26 23:04

What type of sound effect we can use in Anemation Music Or interactive voice

mynameischad

2017-04-26 23:04

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

hawk

2017-04-26 23:04

Thanks so much for your time today @valhead – super insightful session

valhead

2017-04-26 23:04

@mynameischad you’re welcome :slightly_smiling_face:

hawk

2017-04-26 23:05

You rocked it!

The post Transcript: Ask the UXperts: Meaningful Animation – Getting it Right — with Val Head appeared first on UX Mastery.

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