#udai tenma x female oc

[hellobunny044]

Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

********************************************************

an original Haikyū AU pairing Udai Tenma (the og little giant)

warning!! : containing some manga content.

word count : 3540

********************************************************

Panel - 1

“Udai-san, this part and this one need to be reworked.”

“Which one?”

The guy with shoulder-length curly hair shifted, almost sending his chair to fly closer to the serious, glasses-guy. His face serious and his tone polite and organized, while beside him, the curly guy in his hoodie is casually listening to everything he says like an obedient puppy.

“The monologue is too long. It seems unnecessary and a waste of time. That’s it from me.”

“Akaashi-san, don’t you at least have something nicer to say to me?”

“That was the nicest I could be.”

“Geh.”

The curly black haired guy was, Udai Tenma, next to him was Akaashi Keiji, the editor.

Akaashi sighs, “There is also one thing I couldn’t agree with on the next page.”

“Which one?”

“This one.”

Following the editor’s finger pointing at a panel, Udai seriously listened to the way Akaashi specified the whole scene as ‘overly exaggerated’.

“It’s either you come up with another idea to picture the entire event, or you find another way not to make this panel look like this.”

In other words, a just-cut-it-out-of-the-page-and-good-luck-coming-up-with-something-more-worth-publishing.

“Do you think so?”

A confirmation from Akaashi had Udai nod in understanding. He takes his phone out and notes down everything the editor said while casually listening and answering what he needs to answer.

After Akaashi wrapped the discussion up, Udai casually decides, “Alright. I’ll hand it in in two days.”

“No can do.”

“Eehhh?” Staring at the editor’s serious face, Udai insistsing, “Why not?”

The editor sighed before he starts, “You have a fansign next month for this edition. Everything has to be published by the end of this month. I can only accept tomorrow at the latest, at seven in the morning.”

Udai started to whine, dropping his head on the table after Akaashi made a decision on the deadline. But to what end, though? The deadline had been decided and the dearest charming editor, Akaashi Keiji, is simply someone too savage to give a damn about anything when it comes to the deadline.

In the end, Udai did have to work hard to finish the latest edition of the manga tomorrow morning at the required hour.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Udai-san.”

Udai, with a helpless languid look, while hugging the manuscript sheet that Akaashi had corrected, turns around and stares at his editor pityingly. Still having a little determination to negotiate with the charming editor until there is a more humane leniency from him. He put on his most pathetic face in front of the editor, basically trying his best.

“If you understand, please go home and start working.”

Snorting, Udai jerks himself out of the room like some cranky bear, nearly flying, a little uprising against the unfair working hours. Or perhaps, he just hadn’t yet realized that everything is the result of his amazing skill to procrastinate and pile up all his work at one time, forgetting that he is only human and not a manga printing machine that can be pushed to go the extra mile.

But really, drawing is fun.

Since a long time ago, drawing had been an escape from fear, boredom, anxiety, and some random feelings that oftenly creeped up on him.

Whenever those unfamiliar, unpleasantly all too familiar feelings creeped into his mental frame, he would always tear up a piece of paper and start doodling. About anything. Whatever his eyes caught, or whatever his head imagined, or about some places wherever his brain took him to.

In the subtle sound when his pencil met the paper, there was the peace that flushed through, and it almost felt like he was in the heart of a serene forest. Then the chaos inside him would slowly die down.

There is peace in drawing.

Then here he was, back to the room where almost over twenty volumes of his manga were born. In a room where his pen met several strokes of paper in definite or indefinite lines, where his pen met the screen of his computer at busy hours before all those stories were brought to life as some book, namely manga, working for another extra special hour.

Udai Tenma was not a familiar name before the Zombie Knight Zom'bish manga became as famous as it is now. He was just a normal citizen, an ordinary guy living within the framework of a normal story somewhere in Tokyo.

Although he no longer yearns for those days, for those who still remember, they might recognize him better by a nickname other than his real name. Call it The Little Giant.

With that name, youths familiar with the volleyball of his day would immediately raise an eyebrow, amused, welcoming with a sky-rocketing expectation in the face of that particular figure who in his days was revered for his outstanding ability despite a fairly obvious weakness. The very figure to conquer the orange court of the famously annual national’s spring high volleyball tournament with some player known as the crows.

But those days are over.

Just like the beginning of a fiction novel, the past was left behind and the reader moves on to the next chapters, looking forward to what might lie ahead.

Udai Tenma is one of those readers who diligently turns the pages of the life story that fate had written for him.

His days as the little giant had come to an end when he decided to turn to the next chapter. Now, he is in the chapter where he is just the ordinary Udai Tenma, the manga artist Udai Tenma, living up to the result of his hard work creating over twenty volumes of manga, and is currently and will always be struggling with deadlines from his editor.

———————————————————

Udai-san, the deadline is tomorrow by seven am in the dot. Please don’t be late.

———————————————————

Udai grimaced as he read Akaashi’s message from the notification bar of his phone.

It’s not that he will pretend to be on a temporary memory-lost something funnier.

He is working hard.

Despite almost swallowing some of his curly strands as his mouth is busy munching some chips, his hands are busy working on what he had to fix on the entire panel.

“That damn Akaashi really is a dictator. He’s such a sadist. He really is one.”

His hands take a slight pause, scooping up a handful of chips that are almost gone on the other side of the table and feeding himself. He is busy. Very busy. Munching and working on those panels at the same time.

********************************************************

Udai could barely finish the latest volume of his Zombie Knight Zom'bish.

He grimaced at the fact that the editor is a sadistic perfectionist who alwa time, valuing time too much.

Of all the things that made him grimace more was how Akashi was always she looked like a pathetic misfit every time he handed in a new script.

At first glance, while waiting for Akashi to finish scanning the revised panels with his eagle eyes that always demanded the best of the best that he, as the artist, could come up with, Udai's feet shuffled anxiously under the table as his brain roamed, thinking about whether Akashi Keiji had ever once looked as pathetic as himself right now.

When Akashi Keiji is working as an editor, the room will be so quiet that Udai swears he could hear a needle dropping from the next room. Udai was even convinced that the charming editor had stppped breathing to look for mistakes that aren't worth publishing, to make sure that they wouldn't slip away from his eyes. But honestly, if anything, Udai couldn’t ask for someone better than Akaashi Keiji of all people.

One of the reasons would be that, "There are chips in the second drawer."

Udai had a bad habit of biting his finger as he waited patiently for the dearest editor to do his job scanning over the revised book. And Akashi, surprise surprise, apparently had gotten used to that bad habit of the manga artist, so, amusingly, he prepared the chips in his drawer. Knowing well that the artist had a high level of addiction to msg.

There will always be only a chip in the drawer and that's for Udai.

The curly-haired guy swears that Akashi is probably a hero who only ate healthy food on a daily basis, probably had been sworn over whatever good and bad throughout the heavens and the earth that he shouldn't eat chips.

Witnessing the way Akaashi Keiji being such a perfectionist that he is, making Udai almost lost the last trace of worthiness in himself.

If Akaashi Keiji is just a normal human being, then it should be that Udai Tenma is just a trash.

"Akaashi-san, you're indeed the most understanding person I've ever met in my life."

"Please eat something more proper at home, Udai-san."

Munching, Udai glanced at Akashi and replied, "I eat properly. It's just that, it's not complete if I don't get chips in a day. It's like my brain's freezing."

He held the chips solemnly in his lap while gazing out the window of Akashi's room.

Tokyo was slowly getting to start its bustling, busy morning as he would soon take a rest after this all was over.

"If you eat chips and work hard for the next volume, I don't have anything to say."

"I eat chips while working."

"You've always been on more chewing terms than drawing."

"For the record, I came just in time before the deadline, Akaashi-san. Let's not forget about that."

Udai ignored that Akashi sighed just after he spoke. It was the loudest and clearest he ever heard.

It was quiet for some time until Akaashi turned the last page and all the checks were completed.

Glancing at the table, Udai was still half-chewing when he asked, “Are you finished, Akaashi-san?”

Akaashi confirms, then adds, “If there are no obstacles, the publication will proceed as scheduled.”

Udai nods, “I guess I can rest now.”

“Please.”

Udai almost complains, but instead he helps himself to stand up and excused himself. “Then. I’ll go home and rest. Ja ne, Akaashi-san. I’ll leave the rest to you.”

Udai had stepped away when Akaashi called out. So he stopped and turned back to the editor who immediately greeted him with a question.

“Are you free on the weekend?”

Udai frowns. He did not expect such a question coming from a guy at all.

“This weekend?”

Akaashi showed two tickets to Udai who was increasingly confused about what he was dealing with. “I got extra tickets for the theater show on the weekend.”

Udai paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best response in the midst of his confusion. Wait a minute. “We’re... going together?”

“No. I’m busy this weekend.”

Of course.

Udai feels betrayed by Akaashi’s flat, nonchalant answer. Something so obvious shouldn’t have been said out loud like that. And how do he explain this… he feels rejected and uncomfortable as his head went everywhere, to the most ridiculous things he could think of.

“You can go with anyone with those tickets.”

“Anyone?”

“Anyone. Someone of your friends or maybe your girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?”

Then Akaashi’s question came like a bolt of lightning, “You don’t have something like that?”

Udai laughed blandly. “No.”

His laughter was gone but a smile was forced to line his lips when he rewarded the editor with a more or less the same question. “Why don’t you take your girlfriend instead?”

“I told you I’d be busy this weekend.”

Udai was caught off guard. He was half taken aback when he asked, “You have a girlfriend, Akaashi-san?”

“Yes.”

“Eeeehh? But who?” It would not be an exaggeration to say that Udai was almost shrieking at that surprisingly unexpected fact.

But on the other hand, Akaashi was too casual about it.

“Of course it’s none of your business.” The editor responded. This time he added, “If you can’t take these tickets, you’d better go home and rest. Please reduce your eye bags by getting enough sleep and eating regularly. Your fansign is next month, Udai-san.”

Udai laughed, he shook his head as he said, “Akaashi-san, you must have been a strict nerd with an angelic heart.”

“Thank you. I don’t know if I have ever been a nerd for even once.”

“Geeeh.”

Akaashi’s brows lifted, watching the curly-haired manga artist, “hm?”

Udai turned after bowing very politely to Akaashi, forcing the editor to return the bow properly. He then excused himself politely and closed the door very quietly. Weekly Shonen employs one hell of an editor and it’s Akaashi Keiji.

********************************************************

After a long and fairly strict process, the 22nd volume of Zombie Knight Zomb’ish was finally released. Reader responses were varied, but positive responses dominated. Then after all the process was over, the long awaited fansign that had been scheduled had come.

If asked about how familiar he is with fansigns—given that he is a manga artist—then Udai would honestly say that to this day he is still unfamiliar with some interaction with fans or fan service in modern words.

At his first fansign, Udai barely said anything and just kept his head down, focusing on the part where the fans came to ask him to sign their books. It wasn’t until Akaashi came whispering to him, telling him what he should say and do when his fans came, that Udai improved.

It wasn’t just a newfound nervousness. Since long time ago, Udai had never been very good with people. He had never really grasped the full feeling of being attached to his surroundings. Or maybe, he had, but only briefly.

Today, however, as the manga artist Udai Tenma, when he was confronted with fans lined up to wait their turn for just a few seconds with him, he had to overcome that weakness of his.

Sitting behind the the table was Udai, dressed more neatly than usual: not in a hoodie or plain t-shirt wrapped in his usual dark jacket, but in a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His hair, well... his hair remained in its usual style. Only, this time, he tried his best to avoid Mr. Akaashi always-demanding-the-best-of-what-one-can-give Keiji protests by styling his hair a bit neater.

From beside the desk where he sat, it was Akaashi who stood watching him like an owl from time to time.

“Good afternoon, thank you for coming and reading Zombie Knight Zomb’ish!”

In front of him was a quiet middle school student, reminiscent of the days when he was a student: the aloof, hostile, not really stood out, high-schooler Udai Tenma.

Udai wrote down that fan’s name after he spelled it and signed in the same place as where he signed it to the fan before him after learning that he had no special requests. Just like that, the youngster excused himself quickly from the spotlight. Udai was intrigued by the bit of the past that the fan brought before him, catching a little fragment of himself that used to hate attention in more or less the same way.

His smile lingered as he greeted the next fan who was surprisingly excited to meet him. Without prompting, she expressed her thoughts on his work. It was always pleasant to hear some people express their likeness about how good his works are, but to hear someone passionately declare an addiction to his work was something quite ridiculous and amusing.

Just before security let the next fan in, from behind came Akaashi who commented, “At least that person won’t be having an msg overdose.”

Udai still had a chance to reply, “Come on! It’s not that I’m addicted to some weirder things.”

“Alright. Please turn around and say hello to your fans, Udai-san.”

Udai returned to being the manga artist his fans had been eager to meet.

“Good afternoon. Thank you for coming and thank you for always reading Zombie Knight Zomb'ish!”

Udai didn’t expect that someone would talk about anything other than how much they loved and appreciated his work. He did not expect that the day would come when one of his fans would say something about him.

“Seeing you in person really amazed me. You have a very handsome face and a very sweet personality.”

“Eh?”

Udai almost stopped when he realized that of all people, he was the one who objected most to what was said about him instead of feeling grateful that one of his many fans was saying nice things about him in person. No, instead he was amused at himself blushing over the unsubstantiated accusation.

He swore he wanted to say something in his defense if only their time was not up and he had to attend to the next fan immediately. In the end, in a low tone under his breath, Udai said, “You must have the wrong person.”

Behind him, he caught an amused huff that made him take the time to slightly threaten the dreamy editor through his gaze. He had just enough time to return before the next fan arrived, more than enough to hear how the first thing the fan noticed was that the very editor standing behind him had a cute face.

That was definitely not something new. It was no secret that Akaashi had a charming face that attracted attention from the moment Udai first met him. As a man, Udai admitted that Akaashi had everything that made him worthy of being called a handsome man: a certain amount of coolness, a charming face, a serious and hardworking tendency in everything he did, a dexterity that he picked up from his days as a setter at one of Tokyo’s powerschools, and a fashion sense that was definitely a ladies’ delight. But definitely not with how fans express Akaashi Keiji in their dictionary.

Udai swore that he desperately had to hold back his laughter when the fan said that Akaashi looked like a baby owl.

If only Udai had enough time to pull out his cell phone, he would have taken a picture of Akaashi blushing. A super rare sight.

From then on, after the fansign, Udai started bringing up the fan’s words. It was clear to see how the strict editor Akaashi Keiji was caught off-guard by a fan praising him out of the blue.

At lunchtime, Udai didn’t stop teasing Akaashi about it, being so serious when stating that soon, the editor might be getting his own fans, or might soon be holding his own fansign considering that, at the end of the fansign, some fans had gathered and questioned whether the editor-san could get into the photo.

After quite happily colonizing Akaashi with the childishness he suddenly developed at the last minute, Udai excused himself and went to the toilet.

When he finished, Udai was walking at a leisurely pace. But fate wrote something different by still making him bump into someone even at the most leisure pace he took, even when he made sure that he paid attention to his surroundings this time.

Right in front of the corridor, a cell phone fell to the floor, followed by its owner he had just bumped into who immediately bent down to apologize and immediately followed to pick up her cell phone at the same time as Udai who also rushed to grab the phone for her.

Udai did not immediately get up when his eyes caught something he did not expect. Something unfamiliar yet familiar and warm in his memory. He stopped when the person he bumped into walked past him.

The sound of her footsteps gradually moving further away from her back, then stopped.

Seconds slowed in his world. The bustling sounds of the shopping center were drowned out by the silence that suddenly erupted through this unexpected coincidence. His heartbeat slowed down as if accounting for every second that passed. Inside his head, questions about this and that swirled around. He was not exaggerating anything to say that his world had once a blizzard. When the voice came, the snow in his world melted away, forcibly driven away with the unfamiliar warmth of spring bursting from the bottom of his chest when the voice rang in his ears.

“Udai... san?”

There were a few seconds that he missed before he helped himself to turn around, welcoming a presence he never dared to expect to be anywhere before his eyes.

His world turned into a black and white panel as all the color he knew returned to the girl.

“You’re... Udai-san, right? Udai Tenma-san. Right?”

Udai knew what name he would call, what he would say when his senses reconnected with that presence. Her.

He swallowed, swallowing all the feelings that came together in this unexpected encounter, trying to stem them with a little courage to open his voice.

“Sasaki?”

Sasaki Tsubasa, the one who is staring at him with a glimmer of newly flushed pleasure in her eyes. Her smile amused. Her eyes warm. Steadily, not awkward like him, she helped herself to face him properly.

“Oh. It’s really you, Udai-san.”

The time her smile bloomed, his world that once was a black and white panel, turned colorful. Just like when cherry blossoms bloomed during the first day of spring, she was there to color everything again.

“Thankfully, I didn’t get the wrong person.”

—

next chapter coming soon.

[hellobunny044]

Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

********************************************************

an original Haikyū AU pairing Udai Tenma (the og little giant)

warning!!: containing some manga content.

word count: 6790

********************************************************

Panel - 8

Udai sat at his desk, the dim light of the lamp casting a warm glow over his workspace. His fingers flicked across the keyboard, jotting down notes and ideas as they came to him.

He was working hard on the rough sketch of the whole plot twist, and his enthusiasm for the story had reached new heights. He felt like a conductor, orchestrating the characters and events of his manga into a grand symphony of emotion and excitement.

The idea of a human organization behind the outbreak of zombies had opened up a new world of possibilities for him, and he was determined to make the most of it.

Udai’s mind raced with possibilities as he sketched out the rough outline of the new plot twist. He added notes about how the organization would interact with the other characters, and how it would affect the climax of the story.

As he worked, Udai felt a great sense of satisfaction, knowing that he was creating something unique and exciting. He had always loved manga, and now he was finally making one of his own.

But at the same time, he felt the weight of responsibility on his shoulders. He knew that he had to make the story work, had to craft characters and situations that would keep readers intrigued and engaged.

Udai worked through the night, barely stopping to eat or rest. He was consumed by his vision, and he knew that he had to do everything he could to bring it to life.

As morning approached, Udai put down his pen and leaned back, admiring his handiwork. The rough sketch was complete, and he felt a sense of pride and accomplishment wash over him.

Udai had barely slept a wink, so consumed was he with his rough sketch of the plot twist.

Satisfied with his accomplishment, Udai took his phone out and took a photo of his work which he sent to his editor.

To : Akaashi Keiji

05.51 - *attachment*

05.52 - Perfectly wrapped!! >.<

Udai was still surprised by the fact that his editor would even still be there to reply to him in the early morning, still wondering what time he actually woke up.

From : Akaashi Keiji

05.54 - Congratulations.

However, even being a super fast-responding editor, there was no excitement that he could capture from his reply. Akaashi Keiji was indeed a flat man, unsurprisingly. Udai vowed to bet that so far, he had only ever seen two punctuation marks on any of his messages. Well, it wasn’t like he expected a message to be more expressive.

To : Akaashi Keiji

05.55 - Let’s meet, Akaashi-san!

05.55 - I’ll show you the details and everything. You’re definitely gonna love it for 120%, Akaashi-san!!

05.56 - And please show some excitement to cheer me up -_-

From : Akaashi Keiji

05.58 - I’m excited.

Exactly.

To : Akaashi Keiji

05.59 - I’ll meet you up at 7 or 8 in café B

05.59 - Give me some time to at least pretty myself before meeting you. I need to look competent.

From : Akaashi Keiji

06.00 - At seven, in café B.

Udai sighed, “As expected from our Akaashi Task-Focus Keiji-san.”

As soon as the sun had risen, Udai was already on his way to meet with Akaashi at the scheduled time. He couldn’t wait to show off what he'd created.

As he sat in the café, sipping on a warm cup of coffee, Udai could feel the excitement building up inside him. He pulled out his sketch and slid it across the table to Akaashi.

“Good morning, Akaashi-san! Good day today!”

Akaashi greeted with his casual trademark politely, “Good morning, Udai-san.”

Although Akaashi may seem ignorant and strict, he was actually a nice guy on the other side. It was no surprise that he took the time to order another coffee in advance. Saving Udai the hassle of wasting time queuing up alongside the formal office hours chasers lining up before the ordering counter, not to mention that he pretty much knew what Udai would order and ordered that.

But, honestly, Udai was still wondering if Akaashi was really that considerate or if all along, it was just something he did to save time. Remembering that they were here about work, and Akaashi Keiji is Akaashi Task-Focus Keiji in the first place.

After some simple pleasantries, Udai pulled out a tab and handed it to Akaashi. Then, those hopeful seconds rolled around.

Akaashi took a sip of his own coffee and studied Udai’s work, his eyes narrowing in concentration. Udai waited eagerly for his reaction, hoping for praise and approval.

But instead, Akaashi was quiet for a long time. Finally, he spoke.

“Alright. I’m done reading.” Akaashi said, taking a sip of his coffee.

Udai nodded, shifting closer so that he could get what significant change to hear Akaashi clearer. His little notebook was ready, a pen was ready on his mark.

“First off, I think the pacing could be improved. The introduction of the human organization behind the outbreak should be more gradual, to build suspense and tension.”

Udai frowned in concentration. Pen brushing against the paper of his notebook as he writes everything his editor was mentioning thoroughly. His eyes distractedly scanning over the panel that Akaashi was talking about.

“I see,” he said, “what else, Akaashi-san?”

Akaashi took another sip of his coffee before continuing. “Also, I think the character motivations need to be clearer. Right now, they feel a bit muddled and inconsistent.”

Udai felt a sense of frustration. He thought he'd understood his characters perfectly, but now it seemed like he had to go back to the drawing board.

“I see…” he paused, thinking about something, then nodded, “I get it,” he said.

Akaashi leaned back in his chair. “That’s all from me.”

Udai nodded.

“But don’t worry, Udai-san. These are small tweaks that can be easily fixed. And besides, the overall concept of the story is still strong. I think you have something special here.”

Udai took a deep breath, feeling a bit reassured. Akaashi was right — the story was still rough around the edges, but it had the potential to be great. They’ve talked about this before and agreed that this was a promising twist to end the whole story with.

“I sure get it, Editor-san.”

********************************************************

Udai let out a sigh as he rummaged through his drawer, searching for a pen. But as he dug deeper, his hands brushed against something soft and familiar

A small, old notebook, brown in color.

Udai felt a pang of nostalgia as he picked up the notebook, the one he used to carry with him everywhere back then in highschool. It was quite a multifunctional notebook as it could be something he would write some scratches of mathematical scribble or just something he would use to fool his Japanese teacher about his invisible homework. And then, he also uses this small notebook to pour some fragments of his lame, cringe, stupid ideas as just an inexperienced high-schooler.

The panels that filled some of the pages were fading, fragile with time. The once vibrant images that filled the empty panels have almost disappeared, no longer echoing those voices he remembered in the back of his mind.

As he flipped through the pages, memories flooded back to him—of his first ever manga to be created; the first one he was dared to share the public with, while on the other side of the fragile page was a sketch that once he tried so hard to hide from Akaashi.

Her. His first ever drawing of Tsubasa, his first inspiration, the main protagonist of his first manga.

He remembered it.

It was nothing more like his current work with all the darkness and grayness of zombies and conflicts that are hard to digest. Back then, his first manga was a cringe-worthy story about a schoolboy romance ignited by the feelings that blossomed in pink.

Unlike Zombie Knight that sold hundreds of millions of copies worldwide, his first manga was only rewarded with a small panel at the end of a weekly newspaper, the result of his gambling with fate that won him a lucky break.

About his first manga, Udai never said that he was particularly skillful, or that the story was particularly good. Instead, there were many weaknesses in his first manga. But back then, everything was pink, because beside him, there was always a warm whisper of reminder to always appreciate himself.

She had been there with him during those early days, encouraging him and supporting him when he was just starting out.

How cruel time had been.

It consumed all the panels containing the fragments of his ideas on those fragile sheets, yet, it seemed reluctant to take away the depiction of his first love, as if it was determined to keep punishing him with agony.

His chest ached, tight with regret that he could not put into words. Even a thousand apologies would not be able to contain his regret for what he could not repeat.

About the last time, yes, Udai was surprised because he didn’t expect that Tsubasa would be one of the million readers-not to mention, fans-of his manga. He wasn’t sure how he would sum up his feelings after gathering them all one by one.

There was something about this that excited him; that she read his manga, and even took some time to read his manga in between her presumably hectic work. It was a small victory, something that meant so much to him.

It was certainly something to be proud of, not only as a creator who managed to turn the world of one of his readers from time to time, as a Senpai who managed to gain the sincere support of one of his Kohai, but also as... someone who worked hard to realize one of the dreams they had once shared together in the early days.

However, something about this also made his chest tight.

The fact that she was the one who knew the most about his journey from the scratch, and still continued to be one of his readers until he was at this high made his heart clenched.

The door that led him to go back no longer existed.

That time, frustrated with what fate could not give him, frustrated that his hand could not reach an opportunity he desperately wanted to grasp, Udai lost his ability to distinguish between red and green.

The words that came out of his mouth, drumming like thunder, shutting down the only access he had.

One day, when there was a chance to turn everything back, he still put his ego first though a large part of him was fighting to be released from his binding pride, to return to the panel where the two of them were connected, to her.

Later on, when he encountered the last chance indifferently, the last access he had to return simply disappeared.

If only he could—

Udai shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He had work to do—work that Akaashi had pointed out needed improvement. He couldn’t let himself get distracted by thoughts of Tsubasa.

With renewed focus, Udai set to work. He spent hours poring over his sketch, making the changes that Akaashi had suggested. He adjusted the pacing, worked on making the character motivations clearer, and tightened the overall structure of the story.

As he worked, Udai found that his mind kept wandering back to Tsubasa.

He wondered if she was reading his manga now in between something she would be doing on her desk, if she would be proud of him for chasing his dreams. But he knew that he couldn’t let those thoughts get in the way of his work.

********************************************************

Udai had spent the whole night working on the changes that Akaashi had suggested. He had barely slept, hands sore from the constant sketching and note-taking.

But finally, he had a finished product in front of him — a revised rough sketching of the new twist of Zomb’ish ending, with the pacing smoothed out and the character motivations crystal clear.

He couldn’t wait to show Akaashi, to see the look of approval on his editor's face. As he headed to the café the next day, he felt a sense of nervous excitement building up inside him.

Akaashi was already there when Udai arrived, sitting at their usual table with a cup of coffee in front of him. Udai pulled out his sketch and slid it across the table to Akaashi, unable to contain the smile spreading across his face.

“Check it out, Akaashi-san.” Udai said, feeling a sense of pride and accomplishment wash over him, “I think I’ve finally nailed it.”

Akaashi took a sip of his coffee before studying the sketch, his eyes narrowing in concentration. Udai waited eagerly for his reaction, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.

But as he watched, Akaashi’s face remained impassive. He kept looking back and forth between the sketch and Udai, expression unchanged.

Finally, he spoke. “Hm. This is much better,” he said, “but I still think the pacing could be improved in this scene here.”

Udai felt the frustration rising inside him. He had worked so hard on this, putting all of his energy and passion into making the changes that Akaashi had demanded. And yet, it still wasn’t enough.

“Akaashi-san,” Udai said, making sure disappointment creeping into his voice, “I worked all night on this. I’m overworked and exhausted, and you still want me to make more changes?”

Akaashi looked up at him, his expression nonchalant as ever. “I just gave you some necessary feedback on how to improve your manga, for your own sake, Udai-san,” he said, “and as the mangaka, you are to make the necessary changes to realize what’s better. It’s necessary to be proud of your work, but you should also be willing to make changes when they’re necessary.”

Udai sighed, feeling a sense of guilt washing over him. He smiled wryly, almost a grin but more of a wincing sound. “As expected, your words are as sharp as ever. Do you have some kind of routine to sharpen them every morning? That’s why you’re waking up that early in the morning every day? And just how many times did you mention the word necessary just now?”

Akaashi did not respond, prompting Udai to quickly add what should have been his answer earlier. “I thought you’d be a little foolproof. Anyway, alright,” he said, trying to keep the defeat out of his voice, “I’ll make the necessary changes. But please, Akaashi-san. Can you show some mercy?”

Akaashi paused, his eyes locking onto Udai’s. For a moment, Udai thought he saw a flicker of kindness in them, a hint of sympathy.

But then Akaashi spoke, his tone nonchalant. “Well, only if you’re up for a hiatus, I suppose?”

Udai groaned, “Oh, come on!”

And with that, Akaashi took another sip of his coffee, his attention already shifting to something else.

“I’m 100% sure you are still going to demand a revision on my graveyard. I’m 100– no, 200% sure of that!” Udai muttered.

“Well, then, that’s cruel.”

“You’re the one saying that?”

Hours turned into days, and Udai felt himself slipping deeper and deeper into a hole of pure artistic drive. He was consumed by his work, tweaking and refining every detail until it was perfect.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he had a new draft ready.

Finally, Akaashi spoke. “Hm. This is it,” he said, “this’ll do.”

“Yosh!” Udai smiled, fisting the air confidently, missing the slight smile in Akaashi’s face. “Finally, a chance to sleep!”

“Sleep?”

Akaashi’s eyebrow, quirked. “You have a deadline for the 25th volume, Udai-san. Have you forgotten about that?”

His world was upside down, his head buried in the table as his mouth uttered a cry of whine.

“Akaashi-san… Remission please~”

Udai raised his head, his face making Akaashi frown in horror. It was truly a look that made people concerned.

“Udai-san, at this rate, you look more terrifying than the walking dead in your manga. Your face is terrifying!”

“Akaashi-san…”

********************************************************

Udai stumbled out of the café, his mind still filled with thoughts of deadlines and work. He was exhausted, barely able to keep his eyes open, let alone focus on anything else.

But as he walked down the sidewalk, lost in his own world, he suddenly felt something collide with his leg. He looked down, feeling a sense of surprise creeping up on him.

A little kid was standing there, looking up at him with wide eyes. A little boy. He couldn’t have been more than five or six years old, dressed in a bright orange jacket and holding a teddy bear in one hand.

Udai felt a sense of panic rising up inside him. He was not good with kids. He had never been good with them, even when he was young, and now he was too tired and overworked to deal with something like this.

But before he could say anything, the kid spoke up. “Excuse me,” he said, his voice trembling slightly, “can you help me find my dad?”

Udai felt the panic rising up inside him. He didn’t know what to do or say. He was too flustered, too overworked, and too exhausted to think straight.

“I, uh,” he started, feeling his voice falter, “I’m not sure. I don’t… I don’t know where your dad is.”

The kid’s lower lip started to quiver, and Udai felt a sense of guilt washing over him. He didn’t want to make the kid cry.

But try as he might, he couldn’t think of anything to say or do. He was too lost in his own thoughts, too consumed by his own problems.

As the little boy’s sobs grew louder, people started to turn and stare. Udai felt a sense of embarrassment wash over him. He didn’t want to cause a scene, didn’t want to be the center of attention.

Awkwardly, still unsure of what he could say to calm the little boy down, let alone of anything he could do for him, Udai bent down to meet him. His hand slowly, hesitantly and awkwardly, tried to touch the little boy’s shoulder to calm him down.

First of all, just do it like this… right?

His brain quickly to find a way out. Finally, he managed to stammer out something, something that only made things worse. “I-I’m sorry, but.. but I really don’t know how to find your dad.”

He was dumb.

The little boy’s crying was getting worse. Instead of making the little boy feel better, what he had just said, made things worse. As expected, he was really bad with kids.

Not to mention his looming deadline waiting at the apartment, another thing happened on his way back.

Panic and guilt mixed with his anxiety when she was being noticed by every eye that passed by them. Udai was rooted to the spot... it was obvious that immediately leaving this little boy alone right there would make him a total jerk, right? But even then, his presence only exacerbated this little boy’s crying.

Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something, someone passed by, approaching the little boy and greeting him kindly.

His world was momentarily taken over by the figure that had just passed by. Someone familiar had been there, taking over his role as the adult he had failed to play.

Crouching down to meet the little boy was Tsubasa who had appeared out of nowhere behind him. Although he wondered about her unexpected presence—and about this whole threatening thread of their continuous encounter—he was grateful that it was Tsubasa, who had always been very much better at things that he was bad at.

Her hands met the little boy’s shoulders gently, and she was warm. Her smile was as warm as a spring breeze.

“Hey, it’s okay,” her soothing voice, would no doubt immediately soothe the little boy from his crying which had previously gotten worse because of him. “Are you lost?”

The child nodded, hiccupping as he tried to speak. “I can’t find my dad,” he said, tears streaming down his face.

“Ah? Is that so? So you can’t find your dad?”

“Yes.”

Tsubasa was nodding.

“Are you going to help me find my dad, Onee-san?”

Tsubasa nodded again, this time a smile spread across her lips. “Yes, I am.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Tsubasa promised, “You can wipe your tears now—”

“Isamu, Tanaka Isamu.”

“Ah? So, your name is Isamu?”

The little boy nodded, “Yes.”

Tanaka.

Wait. Tanaka?

That name rang a bell to Udai. A name that he once heard back then in high school, a name of a familiar classmate with particularly short, blonde hair.

His eyes fixed to the little guy talking with Tsubasa, scanning that little boy, obviously looking for some resemblance that could ring a bell.

“Well, you got a very good name right there, Isamu-kun! Your parents must have thought so well to give you the name as it goes really well with you! Isamu. Bravery.”

Udai was unable to move as his eyes took in the way Tsubasa had her own way of soothing the lost little boy.

His heart clenched, tight with pain. Throbbing at every second he spent watching what was unfolding before him. Yet, on the one hand, seeing all the interactions between Tsubasa and the little boy brought relief to her heart.

“Alright brave boy, let’s find your dad! Can you tell me where did you see him last?”

“We were walking on the street and my dad said he wanted to go to the toilet. But he was taking so long, so I went to check… But I couldn’t find any toilet nearby and get lost in the street.”

“Alright, I get it. Now can you tell me about what your dad looks like?”

Watching Tsubasa saving his ass in front of the little boy made Udai feel embarrassingly safe.

Then, when she was done listening to everything the little boy said, Tsubasa turned to Udai. Her eyes that looked at him warmly carried with them a million pains that stabbed straight into his heart.

“Udai-san, hello,” she said.

The world was about her. The world was her.

Udai struggled to breathe, almost forgetting how to do so. And he almost forgot how to speak.

As best he could, he tried to answer her greeting in a friendly manner. A smile might be difficult, but a friendly greeting wouldn’t hurt, right? After all, in no time now, Hatakeyama Jiro might be coming to catch up with her, certainly couldn’t stand to be a second longer away from his significant other.

“Oh, Tsubasa. Hi.”

Even after a moment, Udai didn’t realize that he had just called her by her given name rather than her last name like the last two times. He only realized after Tsubasa’s eyes softened at him, tender, and so warm that guilt creeped up preying on his skin.

“I mean… Sasaki. Hello, Sasaki.”

Tsubasa just smiled, then immediately told him that she would help the little boy find his father. She intended to call the police to keep an eye on the little boy and will wait until the police come. Udai could see how the little boy held Tsubasa’s hand comfortably, certainly feeling safe and a thousand times better.

“I’ll be back when I’m done. Can you wait for me at a nearby park?”

Udai felt his heart sink into his stomach. Dumbstruck, he could only stare at her.

“I’ll be there to join you soon,” Tsubasa said, “so, wait for me.”

You’ll be there soon... then... then what? What of it that’s good for me? For us?

********************************************************

He should have said something.

Udai should have said something like ah, don’t bother coming back, I won’t wait for you, I’ll just leave, or perhaps something that’s more like I really wasn’t expecting another encounter with you, so please just go.

He should have said something, yet he didn’t. And it was because he couldn’t bring himself to say something that he felt annoyed with himself.

Didn’t he not want this meeting? Getting involved with her, getting into this panel was the last thing he wanted—

“Udai-san?”

Her voice came closer. Udai’s world shifted from the gray of self-reproach and the deafening hum of regret, to the warm greeting of a familiar woman smiling at him.

Her hand waved, kindly greeting him before she joined him.

Time is cruel. So is fate.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Tsubasa joined him, not hesitating to sit in the empty spot beside him. Her gaze was on him as she said, “I had to take care of other things while handing the child over to the local police. Ah, but the little boy’s father arrived just before the police took him.”

“Yeah?”

Tsubasa nodded. “Hm.” She took out a business card and showed it to Udai. “Her father is a personal trainer.”

Tsubasa’s gaze focused on the business card, missing how Udai’s gaze focused on her. It was as if his gaze was glued to her every feature, and as if the world around her was sinking into black and white.

Was it true that this encounter was the last thing that he wanted?

Turning to face him, Tsubasa was almost surprised to find that Udai had been watching her all along. Udai, realizing that he had been caught looking at her carelessly, immediately averted his gaze. Awkwardness creeping over his skin. Subconsciously, his hands clenched. Stupid thing, he cursed.

Udai was just about to apologize, but Tsubasa preceded him.

“I—“

“I’m sorry, Udai-san! I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Slowly, Udai turned to Tsubasa.

“I didn’t know that you were seeing the business card.”

Their gazes met.

Udai didn’t know whether to be grateful that he wasn't caught, or to be disappointed for some stupid reason.

He stared at the business card Tsubasa handed him for a moment as he heard her, “Here.”

Then Tsubasa added, “Ah, right. They’re also from Miyagi. What a coincidence, right?”

Udai had expected that before. The name Tanaka that the little boy brought up was all too familiar in his memory. He didn’t need Tsubasa to tell him that. He remembered the name he read on the business card.

“Ah, yeah…” Udai hesitated to nod, “thank you.”

Tsubasa smiled and quickly pulled out the business card and slipped it into the pocket of the jacket she was wearing.

Udai glanced over after hearing Tsubasa exhale loudly; a sigh of relief that ended in a smile as her eyes wandered to something he didn’t really want to know about.

“Summer will be over really soon…” she murmured.

This time, before being caught watching her again like before, Udai gathered the remnants of his sanity to quickly shift his gaze. Then just as he expected, Tsubasa returned him.

Really, though. He really wanted to ask her just for once, was she okay every time she was looking at him so casually like this? Since he never was..

“I’m sorry,”

Udai, who immediately turned, was greeted by Tsubasa’s smile. Although initially surprised by her words and the way she was looking at him, he frowned, even more confused by her words.

“that must’ve been so surprising for you.”

“Huh? About… about what?”

“About that little boy before,” Tsubasa continued, “you must have gotten confused when he started crying.”

Udai almost winced.

“Well... there are many unexpected things on the road. A mugging, a hit-and-run, a fight, a little boy looking for his father who was from Miyagi,” Tsubasa smiled before she got to her last sentence, “also about meeting you again on the street.”

The world around them went silent at that sentence. Everything slowed down, time, and everything outside of their panel slowed down.

“But I bet you must have been pretty flustered by a little kid suddenly crying in front of you, well... not to mention that it was surprising.”

The world returned to its normal rotation, and Tsubasa had returned to meet his gaze.

At Tsubasa’s innuendo, Udai grimaced. He almost looked half dejected when he said, “Do I look like that unreliable for you to say that?”

“Ah?”

Udai sighed, “I, too, am an adult myself.”

No matter how hard Udai denied the connection and familiarity between them, it would never be enough to fool his feelings. In the midst of his persistence to resist prolonged interaction with her, his body naturally succumbed to the magnetic force she brought with her. And that was how this interaction came back to its pole, to the panel he was on.

Udai would surely regret this.

One night, he would wake up to witness how he was wrapped in a bundle of guilt for crossing the line, for coming back into her life.

Then her laughter rang out, crystal clear in his ears. And the sight, oh, don’t even ask. Udai had no idea that somewhere in this world, he would find something that could match what he was witnessing.

Her eyes narrowed as she turned to meet his gaze. Beautiful, as ever. A glimpse of Sasaki Tsubasa, whom he met nine years ago, fit in between them. Udai’s heart swelled with pain, regret, and longing all rolled into one.

“Well, that little boy can decide for himself,” Tsubasa said.

In her smile this time, there was innuendo and confidence and a hint of joke. In his eyes however, there was something unreadable.

The one second during which their gazes met felt like a thousand years, seconds spinning away for what seemed like forever. Immediately, before he crossed the line even further, Udai averted his gaze.

“Ah! Right!”

Udai was almost startled by Tsubasa’s voice. He immediately turned to meet her.

“About that day,” Tsubasa continued, “what happened to your precious t-shirt?”

Udai remembered, “Oh…”

Guilt had just entered Tsubasa’s eyes. Her forehead furrowed, almost looking like she was wincing as she said, “I’m really sorry for what happened the other day! I was really careless!”

Udai raised both hands, “O-oh... yeah, I’m fine.”

“Then what happened? Did you wash it yourself?”

“Eh?”

“Your t-shirt I mean,” Tsubasa said. “Did you wash it on your own?”

“Sure— ah, I took my clothes to the laundry.” Udai quickly continued before Tsubasa could say anything. “I made a note to the laundry worker to pay attention to the ocha stains.”

“Is that so?”

Udai nodded.

Tsubasa sighed, sounding more relieved this time. “Thank goodness,” she murmured.

Udai hummed. His gaze shifted, leaving Tsubasa behind.

The atmosphere returned to silence. They were both immersed in the sounds of the bustling street with no thought of immediately resuming the conversation. Even Tsubasa, who usually could not stand the silence for long, this time also chose to side with the silence. Udai wouldn’t blame her. What did she expect from a conversation with some ignorant jerk like him? What did she expect from the man who had broken her heart?

“Well…” Tsubasa finally spoke. Her relieved sigh invited Udai to return. “I guess I can say that I’m a slightly better adult than you, Udai-san.” she smiled kindly at him.

“Also,” Tsubasa was still smiling. The seconds when she paused her sentence were heavy with anticipation, “it’s been a while since I heard someone call me by my real name.”

Udai was dumbfounded. Damn tongue.

No.

Damn brain. If his brain hadn’t thought the name he usually called her was Tsubasa, then he wouldn’t have called her name so carelessly. Or was it his heart? His feelings?

No. Damn fate and time.

If fate and time had not brought them together, Udai would not have become so sentimental about Tsubasa and their unsettled pace in the first place. And since the damn fate and time were so eager to see him suffer, here he was. He succumbed to the awkwardness that held him tight before this situation.

“I think... The last time I heard someone call me by my real name was in high school.”

He heard her, and he swore that she was talking about him. Who else? There wasn’t a single person in Karasuno who called Tsubasa by her real name if it wasn’t him.

“It’s good to hear it again. Like a good reminder of the past.” Tsubasa said, smiling kindly at Udai.

He looked away, choosing to avert his eyes first. The stupid jerk that he is.

“I just slipped off…”Udai muttered, as if unwilling for Tsubasa to hear his words.

His response came in a surprisingly bright tone, “It’s okay.”

Udai met her gaze again to witness how warmly she smiled.

“Whether you just slipped off and didn’t mean to or not, I’m still happy to hear someone call me by my real name after a while.”

For the first time, Udai didn’t want to believe her words. He would have preferred if she had said that she was uncomfortable with his calling, that she was uncomfortable with anything that reminded her of the past, like how he felt about everything... but what if she was happy that it was him?

“I guess I should…” she did not finish her sentence, like she felt heavy on the part where she finally had to exclude herself. But after that, her smile quickly brightened as she got up. Her gaze returned to Udai as she said, “I’ll take this direction,” she pointed in any direction behind her back, “what about you, Udai-san?”

Udai had previously been convinced that he would rather not meet her anywhere, convinced that it was the wisest choice.

Being distracted in the middle of his work because his mind was constantly searching for her was more than enough. Plunging himself into her panel would only bloom his desire, whereas in his sense, that was the least that could happen for her sake.

His presence was a catastrophe in her life, his presence would only bring thundering rain to her summer, black clouds to her sunshine.

“I…”

He knew that he wasn’t good for Tsubasa, moreover, it was inappropriate to have his panel running alongside hers, but this time, Udai wanted to let that be.

Seeing her slowly pull away made him want to cross the line. Just this once, he didn’t want their meeting to end this fast.

Udai left his seat, catching up with Tsubasa who greeted him with a look that was still waiting for his answer.

“Udai-san?”

One last look into her eyes and Udai was sure to be greedy just this once.

“Are you free today?”

Just this once, he said. After that, he would drag himself away from this panel.

He saw Tsubasa staring in confusion, “Sorry?”

Squeezing everything that prevented him from surrendering into the magnetic pull of wanting to be around her, Udai finally said, “If you’re free, would you mind joining me for a coffee?”

.

.

.

Miyagi Prefecture, Nine Years Ago

In the early hours of the morning, as the sun started to peek out from behind the trees, Udai was already up and ready to go. He laced up his volleyball shoes, checked his knee pads, and made his way to the gymnasium for his team’s morning practice.

Hitting the court, he was in his element, exploding with energy and passion for the sport. He felt the weight of the volleyball in his palm, and as he served over the net, it seemed like all of his focus was on that little white ball. Every time it made contact with his fingertips, he felt the exhilarating rush of adrenaline that kept him going.

As the practice began to wind down, the other members of the Karasuno team slowly started filing out of the gym. Udai lingered a little longer, taking advantage of the empty space to run a few drills that he hadn't quite mastered yet.

He made a decision that would alter the course of his day.

He slipped away from the classroom, unnoticed by his classmates, and crept into the gymnasium storage room. The dusty smell of the room was familiar to him, and he lay down on an old mat in the corner. He was not tired, he just didn’t want to attend the class, because…. It wasn't that he didn’t like the class, but it was just so uninteresting to him. He’d much rather be practicing on the court for some hours more.

The storage room indeed wasn’t the most comfortable place to spend time, but it was secluded, hidden away from prying eyes.

The silence of the storage room allowed his thoughts to wander. He thought of the volleyball match that was coming up soon and the fear of losing started creeping in.

********************************************************

It was another typical day in the gymnasium as Tsubasa’s gym class was in full swing.

Their gym teacher had arranged a friendly match, pitting the students against each other, to promote teamwork and sportive spirit. As Tsubasa stood with her teammates, a bundle of nerves and trepidation coiled up inside of her. But as soon as the whistle blew, and the game began, she was surprisingly doing well in the game.

“Oi, Sasaki did a really great job right there!”

Some boys watching commented.

“She’s enjoying herself. Not bad!” The other one added.

“Way to go, Sasaki!” And the other began cheering for her.

“She’s cute, don’t you think?” Then he turned to the boy before, smiling.

“Yeah, she has some grace.” The other boy agreed.

“Right? Gonna have to try to ask for her number.” He said again, “Go, go, Sasaki! Take them down!”

Despite being a newcomer to the game, Tsubasa quickly adapted, using her intelligence and quick thinking to outmaneuver the other players.

Her shots had precision, and her passes found their mark. She moved with such grace that it was as if she had been playing this game all her life.

As she skated back and forth on the court, dodging other players and scoring goals, her classmates cheered.

The girls on the other side of the court cheered for her, “Sasaki! You’re the best!”

********************************************************

When the class finally came to an end, Tsubasa began to gather her things, ready to head back to the locker room and get ready for the next class.

As she made her way towards the gymnasium’s entrance she noticed the class representative was struggling to carry a pile of gym equipment and props, her small frame buckling under the weight of it all.

Tsubasa stood there, observing for a moment and taking in the situation at hand.

Some of her classmates were still there, they greet her when they passed her.

“Sasaki, you’re not coming?”

She turned briefly and nodded, “Go ahead. I’ll meet you in the class.”

“Okay.”

When her classmates leave, Tsubasa shifted to where she remember the class rep. was, still struggling with everything.

“Ishikawa!” She called out, approaching the girl.

The class rep. turned, “Oh? Sasaki, you’re still here?”

Tsubasa hummed. “Here, let me help.”

“Oh no—“

Tsubasa smiled. “That’s too much for you to handle, right?” She turned and looked around, “and the boys are really fast to leave… Moh… they’re really the worst!”

She casually bent down to gather some things that needed to be brought back to the storage room.

“Thank you, Sasaki.”

Tsubasa turned and smiled.

Opening the gym storage room door, the room was very dark and dusty. They had tried to turn on the lights, but they were broken. Finally, with a little light from the vents, they entered the room while being careful to put anything down lest it damage the rest of the gym equipment.

The next time they entered, Tsubasa brought with her a stack of mats that had been used in the previous gym class alone.

“Sasaki? Eh— but that’s too much for you—“

“It’s okay, Ishikawa-chan. I got this.” Tsubasa smiled and walked slowly into the storage room.

“Be careful. Really, be careful, Sasaki. It’s very dark inside.” The class rep. said worriedly.

“Alright. I’m okay.”

The class rep. was walking out anxiously while occasionally looking back at the storage room door to make sure that Tsubasa would be okay, all the while feeling guilty for involving her in her troublesome job. She wasn’t so far leaving the storage entrance that she heard a loud clattering sound from inside.

“Sasaki!”

The class rep. immediately rushed into the storage room, watching as Tsubasa sat on the floor whilst staring at another boy standing before her, along with some metal poles lying on the floor.

“Sasaki!? Are you okay?”

—

[hellobunny044]

i mean…. he’s hot right?

so… i understand you, Tsubasa.

I really do.

[hellobunny044]

Panels. | Series

An Original Haikyū AU Pairing “Udai Tenma” The Original Little Giant Of Karasuno High School

********************************************************

Summary

< panel. in manga art, panel refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time on a manga page. >

Udai Tenma, a manga artist, currently doing well with his high-selling Zombie Knight Zomb’ish, is dealing with the stress of his looming deadlines and the demand from his task-focus, super perfectionist editor, Akaashi Keiji. During a meet and greet for his manga’s special edition, Udai bumped into his first love from high school, Sasaki Tsubasa. Memories of their past meet-ups start flooding back, and Udai begins to wonder if he has really moved on.

********************************************************

Chapter List

Panel - 1 “Crunching Pages, Unlocking Hearts”

Panel - 2 “Memory of An Encounter”

Panel - 3 “Scratches, Lines, Panels”

Panel - 4 “Ink Stained”

Panel - 5 “Reflection of The Unfinished Panel”

Panel - 6 “Smiles and Longing”

Panel - 7 “Contact”

Panel - 8 “Unreliable Man”

Panel - 9 “A Broken Wings and Awkward Glances”

Panel - 10 “Resurfaces”

Panel - 11 “First Love”

Panel - 12 “Wings”

Panel - 13 “Summer’s Spring: Volleyball, Manga, and Love”

Panel - 14 “Summer’s Spring: Volleyball, Manga, and Love part II”

Panel - 15 “Echoes of The Lost Love”

Panel - 16 “Reset”

Panel - 17 “Revisiting Old Flames and Rekindling Regrets”

Panel - 18 “A New Panel”

Panel - 19 “Unforgotten Regret”

Panel - 20 “Brand New Ending”

[hellobunny044]

Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

********************************************************

an original Haiky AU pairing Udai Tenma (the og little giant)

warning!!: containing some manga content.

word count: 5914

********************************************************

Panel - 7

Sendai City Gymnasium, Miyagi Prefecture, Nine years ago

The crowd was roaring in anticipation as the final match of the Prefectural Volleyball Tournament of Miyagi Prefecture between Karasuno High School and Shiratorizawa Academy was on the edge.

It was a neck-to-neck game that had been ongoing for hours, and no one knew who would emerge victorious. The score was 22-21 in the final set, a match point for Karasuno after one hell of a catch me if you can deuce battle with Shiratorizawa Academy.

The players were drenched in sweat and breathing heavily, but their spirits were still indomitable.

As Udai stepped onto the court, he could feel the weight of the crowd’s anticipation, and the stakes were higher than ever before. The tension was palpable, and each player could feel the weight of the game on their shoulders.

The game was no longer just about winning or losing, but it was about the pride and joy that came with being the best team in the Prefectural Volleyball Tournament of Miyagi Prefecture.

Udai knew that being the ace meant he had every right to lead his team to victory, and with that thought in mind, he took a deep breath and waited for the ball to come his way.

Shiratorizawa’s blockers were a formidable barrier that Udai had to blast through. He had to overcome them, and with only a split second to react, Udai rose to meet the challenge.

With all his power, he smashed the ball, soaring it through the air towards the opposing team, aiming for the perfect spot.

Shiratorizawa’s defense was tough, but Udai was determined to push through. He had been preparing for this moment his entire life. And then, as if by magic, he saw an opening in the blocker’s defense. He aimed his shot carefully towards the open gap with pinpoint accuracy. His strike was like lightning, and the ball crashed downwards onto the opponent’s side, past their defense.

Udai’s teammates watched in awe as the ball soared towards the gap, and with a loud crunch, it hit the ground. Karasuno's supporters erupted in joy, and the sound echoed through the stadium.

He had scored the block out, securing their victory over their rivals.

Karasuno players ran to Udai, their adrenaline pumping. They hugged him, and celebrated their win with great exhilaration. With Udai’s efforts, they had become the Prefectural Volleyball champions. Shiratorizawa’s blockers looked down in dismay, unsure where they went wrong.

As Karasuno team lifted the trophy, the entire stadium erupted in applause. The win was a moment of triumph, and Udai had proved his mettle once again. He had proven that size doesn’t always matter, and that a player’s heart, passion, and skill were all that mattered.

Karasuno High School had won the Prefectural Volleyball Tournament of Miyagi Prefecture, and with Udai’s contribution and the team’s dedication, they had become legendary in the game.

For Udai, it was a moment he would cherish forever, and he knew that it was much more than just winning. It was about the love of the game, the camaraderie of the team, and the joy of triumph.

As Udai basked in the afterglow of Karasuno’s win in the Prefectural Volleyball Tournament, he noticed some people from his school approaching him.

He had always been an aloof and hostile character, and he wasn’t used to random people trying to talk to him.

Udai felt a wall rise up within him, and he didn’t know how to react. He was so used to being on his own and not letting anyone get close to him.

People from his school tried to congratulate him and bask in the win together, but Udai wasn’t having any of it. He dismissed their attempts to talk with icy silence, immediately excluding himself from the crowd.

He wanted to be alone and process everything that had happened. He was proud of his team, and was grateful for those people’s support and sentiment, but alone was ten times better.

So, Udai excused himself and disappeared into the crowd, leaving the people from his school looking disappointed and confused. He just needed to be alone.

********************************************************

As Udai walked away from the crowd, his heart was heavy with conflicting emotions. He was proud of Karasuno’s victory, but he was also struggling with the attention and recognition that came with it.

He… just didn’t know how to share his joy with others.

As he continued to wander aimlessly, he became aware of someone calling his name.

“Udai Senpai!”

He turned, seeing a particular, familiar girl approaching him. Sasaki Tsubasa. He knew her, remembered. It’s just, this time, he didn’t know that one other girl tagging along with her, looking like she was being dragged and completely helpless about it when she was pulling her in her iron grip.

A moment there. What’s with this continuous encounter with this girl? When did it start to feel like a habit rather than just a coincidence? And since when did this girl had become so familiar with calling him around, stopping him like they know each other, Udai wondered. He wondered if he ever made her feel that way before. And he just wondered what she wanted from him now.

“Thank you for the great play during the match, senpai! We’re having a great time watching from the cheering section.” She greeted, “And congratulations on your victory.”

Should he… respond to that?

Well, he technically had turned everyone down with his hostility, the aloof brat that he was.

“Thank you.”

Just a little thank you won’t hurt, right?

Then he was staring. Like… staring and just waiting whilst asking himself, what there is to be pondered about that he stayed still and not yet walked away.

He watched the way Sasaki Tsubasa cautiously looking at him, studying everything, whilst distractedly turning to her friend, acting so weird.

She was mumbling something about whatever. That’s enough to make him linger in his defense.

Studying everything that’s currently going on before him, Sasaki Tsubasa’s friend was holding a small box of homemade cookies. She looked nervous and jittery, and Udai could sense her discomfort as Tsubasa pushed her forward.

“This— my friend has something for you.”

Udai’s gaze shifted to the glasses girl beside her, stammering in her words, looking nervous.

Why would anyone be scared to give something to him? He was just a member of the Karasuno volleyball team, albeit one of the shorter ones— no. Why would anyone ever give him something in the first place?

“I m-made you this.” She said, handing some cookies to him.

Udai blinked, couldn’t comprehend what’s coming for him.

Sasaki Tsubasa explained that her friend just wanted to give them to him as a token of appreciation.

Udai felt a twinge of guilt as he watched the girl nervously clutching the cookies. He knew how hard it was to put yourself out there and offer something to others with your own hands. But at the same time, he didn’t want to create any false expectations. He couldn’t promise anything.

“She made them herself,” Sasaki Tsubasa said, adding one more pressure in his guilt.

Like he can unheard what the girl previously told him about it.

Sasaki Tsubasa then continued, her voice insistent. “She had always been the fans of the club—“

“Sasaki…”

She turned distractedly to the girl to tell her, “leave this one to me—“ then shifted to Udai to continue, “and you’ve been the one working really hard right there to do all the hard tasks blasting through for a point that leads the team to get to this point. You’re the Little Giant of Karasuno. She admires you—”

“Sasaki… you’re being too loud about that…”

Sasaki Tsubasa turned, “Datte, you admire him, don’t you?”

The girl was fighting for dear life to utter the word, redness dusting on her face, “W-well, I-I do, but…”

“Then, there’s nothing wrong about that. He’ll listen.”

Sasaki Tsubasa turned briefly at him and said, “He’s still here, isn’t he?”

Her friend also turned briefly to look at him, but when she met his gaze, she immediately looked away.

Instead of helping her out with whatever admiration she has towards him, Sasaki Tsubasa was actually torturing her friend. Almost really clueless about her bluntness being so overwhelming for that girl to handle.

“Then, Giant Senpai,”

Udai turned, meeting Sasaki Tsubasa’s gaze.

“Thank you for that, but I’d rather not have this.”

He tried to politely refuse, but Tsubasa was having none of it.

“You would be a terrible Senpai if you turned her down, Giant Senpai.”

“I don’t go well with—”

“You know how much she admires you and your team.”

Udai sighed, “Look—”

“Are you really down to be seen as a bad senpai? That’s gonna be so harsh of you to turn her effort down, you know.”

Udai frowned. Why isn’t she listening?

He tried for another attempt to explain himself. Opening his mouth, he was about to say something appropriate to make these girls understand that he just won’t go well with such gifts, especially cookies. But the girl beside Sasaki Tsubasa spoke.

“That’s enough, Sasaki. It’s alright…”

Udai shifted to the glasses-girl instead of the brown-haired Sasaki.

“Why, though? You’ve spent quite some time making the cookies.”

Udai’s gaze shifted to the cookies.

“And because of the effort you pour to make this specially for him, we should try harder to make him accept this. You’ve worked hard for this, right?”

“B-but…”

“Suzuki wa, you’re the best baker. You should be more proud of your hard work instead of being a wimp.”

Sasaki Tsubasa sighed.

“Leave this one to me.”

Udai felt cornered. He felt really bad for ever wanting to refuse the gift, being slapped with everything that Sasaki Tsubasa said.

Of all the things… why does this have to end up being an unnecessary drama?

“Senpai, you know—”

Sasaki Tsubasa playfully threatened him with dire consequences if he turned down the gift, and urged him to show some kindness and support.

He took a deep breath and decided to compromise.

“I’ll take it.”

He agreed to eat the cookies, but he made it clear that he would do it on his own terms.

“T-thank you so much, Giant Senpai!”

Yeah. That giant calling is just a troublesome one.

He hummed, and was convinced to finally excuse himself or at least that they are excusing themselves now.

Tsubasa, however, had other plans. She insisted that he should eat the cookies there and then, in front of her friend. She argued that it was the proper way to receive a gift, and that it would make the girl happy.

“She warned him, her eyes flaring with a possessive light. “If you don’t eat those cookies, you will regret it. I promise you will,”

“Sasaki—”

“H-hey, that’s—” he halted midway.

“This is probably our last chance to talk with you in person, Giant-san.”

Udai could see the determination in her eyes and knew that he couldn’t refuse her.

Just a little more push and he was done for.

“Just a bite won’t hurt, right?”

Udai sighed, finally relenting.

“Fine.”

The glasses-girl, and of course Sasaki Tsubasa, both lightened up when Udai took one of the cookies from the box. It was a small, round, chocolate chip cookie, with a crumbly texture and a sweet aroma. He examined it for a moment, feeling slightly uncomfortable under the gaze of those two presence before him. He wondered if he should say something, or if he should just start eating it.

In the end, he decided to opt for the latter. He raised the cookie to his mouth and took a small bite.

As he ate, Tsubasa watched him like a hawk, making sure he ate every last bite.

The taste however, was surprisingly good. The chocolate chips were rich and creamy, and the cookie had a subtle sweetness that was very pleasant. He took another bite, and then another, feeling the anxiety and the pressure slowly dissipate.

“How’s that?”

Udai almost choked, feeling embarrassed that he almost forgot that he was being watched. He coughed, feeling there was a certain portion of the cookies that wasn’t chewed properly stuck somewhere in his chest. He coughed, trying to be cool about it so as not to look stupid while distractedly peering at the two girls who were looking at him expectantly.

Clearing his throat, he trying to sound nonchalant about it when he look at the glasses-girl. “It’s good.”

He saw something flushed in her eyes as the redness dusting on her cheeks, face brightened than before, as if life wasn’t there before.

“Thank god!”

Udai hummed nonchalantly. His fingers resting on the box full of cookies, tempted to take another bite.

“See?”

Udai shifted, returned to Sasaki Tsubasa.

“Wasn’t that good?”

To his surprise… she was smiling triumphantly.

“I promised you that you’ll regret not eating those cookies right away, didn’t I?”

He…

Sasaki Tsubasa’s friend, the glasses-girl, looked positively ecstatic, her eyes gleaming with happiness. “I’m so glad you liked them!” she said.

She was smiling triumphantly.

Udai smiled, trying to be polite. “Y-yeah, they were really good. Thank you for making them for me.”

Sasaki Tsubasa smiled at him, nodding approvingly. “See? Just a little bite won’t hurt, right?”

No, he guess.

Finally, they excused themselves, bowing politely.

As they walked away, Udai couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief wash over him. He had survived the whole ordeal and had come out the other side unscathed.

Still, though, he could hear them muttering something like, “Suzuki, you finally gave him the cookies! That one’s to be celebrated!”

“I was able to give it to him because of you. The Little Giant is scary.”

“Hm? He is?”

“Not that he had some kind of scary face or something, though.”

“Though?”

“I mean, just everything about him is scary.”

Sasaki Tsubasa turned and Udai was still there to meet her gaze, just very briefly.

“Indeed.” She muttered to her friend, “But he’s not that little.”

There was something else there too, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

.

Tokyo, Present Day

Udai stared out of the window as Akaashi spoke, his mind wandering into the past, staying quite a while right there to recall past events that slipped past his fingers. Nine years ago, that was a lot.

He knew he shouldn’t be daydreaming, especially not when Akaashi, his editor, was discussing a serious issue about the next volume of his manga. But he just couldn’t help it.

Akaashi sighed, interrupting Udai’s thoughts. “Udai Sensei? Are you even listening to me?”

Udai blinked, suddenly brought back to reality. “Oh— ah, Akaashi-san? I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

Akaashi’s expression softened, and he sighed. “I said that there’s a serious matter with your manga that we need to discuss.”

Udai felt a sense of dread fill his stomach.

Mr. Task-focus Akaashi didn’t take his work lightly, and any criticism or suggestion for improvement was always met with a stern reality check.

He braced himself for what was to come as Akaashi launched into a tirade of criticism. But as he spoke, Udai struggled to focus. His mind kept drifting back to his own world, to where the leaking of his past was flashing.

He caught the occasional word, "plot holes," "character development," "story pacing," but it all seemed like a distant blur. He nodded and muttered responses when necessary, but all the while his mind was elsewhere.

“We have a deadline to meet, and you’re here daydreaming. You need to focus, Udai-san.”

Udai felt a twinge of guilt deep in his chest. He knew Akaashi was right. They had a lot of work to do, and he couldn’t afford to be distracted like this. “I’m sorry, Akaashi-san.“

Akaashi sighed then nodded. “Good—”

His phone rang. “A minute.”

Akaashi was about to get up but halted midway, “While I’m gone, I want you to finish up those panels we discussed earlier. I need them done by tomorrow, no excuses.”

Udai felt a pit begin to form in his stomach. He knew those panels were going to take a lot of work, and he wasn’t sure if he had the energy to do them all overnight. “Can’t you give me a little more time? Tomorrow’s a bit too much, Akaashi-san~”

Akaashi fixed him with a stern gaze. “No can do, Udai-san. We can’t afford to miss our deadline.”

Udai groaned inwardly, knowing there was no way out of this. He was going to have to pull an all-nighter, again. He watched as Akaashi left the room, his mind racing with all the things he still needed to do.

He opened up his computer, the screen of which was filled with the unfinished panels. The characters were only halfway drawn, their expressions and movements stiff and lifeless. He knew he had a lot of work to do if he wanted to make them come alive.

He worked tirelessly for hours, the only sounds in the room being the scratching of his pencil on paper and the occasional beep of his laptop. He didn’t have time for breaks, for food, or even for sleep. He was determined to finish these panels, no matter what it took.

Hours passed, and the clock on his laptop showed that it was already early in the morning. His eyes burned with exhaustion, his body aching from sitting at the desk for so long. But he couldn’t stop. He had to finish these panels.

He could feel his fingers began to shake with exhaustion, his mind becoming more and more foggy as he continued to work. But he couldn’t give up. He had to keep going.

As dawn started to break through the window, Udai finally finished the last panel. He slumped back in his chair, his breath coming in short gasps. He had done it. He had finished them all.

He sat there for a few minutes, his eyes closed, trying to recover from the long night he had just endured. But he knew he couldn’t rest for long. Mr. Task-focus would be calling soon, asking for an update on his progress.

Sure enough, his phone rang, interrupting his moment of peace. He groaned, knowing he had to answer it. “Moshi moshi. Good day today, Akaashi-san.” his voice groggy and tired.

———————————————————————————

Akaashi’s voice was tense as he spoke. “Good morning, Udai-san. How’s it going? Did you finish the panels?”

———————————————————————————

Udai nodded, even though Akaashi couldn’t see him. “Yeah, I finished them all. They’re all done.”

———————————————————————————

Akaashi sounded nonchalant. “Congratulation on successfully doing an overnight, Udai-san.”

———————————————————————————

Udai laughed bitterly over those words, and ended it with a long sigh.

As he hung up the phone, he looked out the window again, it was still early in the morning. He couldn't help but think about the way his manga would be received by readers, wondering if they would appreciate all the hard work that went into it.

His eyes trailed what’s on the last page. The blank page is now alive with lines and words in panels.

The world was still too quiet, only the ticking of clock was in the room, but to Udai, those panels on the last page were speaking to him, thanking him for hanging there for another good work this time.

Good job hanging right there to birth us alive, they said.

Udai smiled, feeling a sense of pride washing over him. Nothing felt better than knowing he had completed his task, and he had done it well.

He knew it didn’t matter, though. He had done his best, and that was all that really mattered. He closed his eyes, feeling a sense of calm wash over him.

When the sun finally rose, casting its golden light through the window, Udai once again looked at the last page with a sense of satisfaction.

He remembered why he had started drawing in the first place, why he had felt that spark of creativity that had led him on this wild and difficult journey.

********************************************************

It was on the 10th volume that Udai started to go undercover and do a little field research about public reaction to his manga, eager to witness it first hand to gain some new motivation if he ever stuck.

A month later, after the publishing of the 24th volume of Zomb’ish, Udai decided it was time for him to conduct a little field research.

Dressed incognito in a faded hoodie and a worn-out beanie that partially obscured his thin-framed glasses, Udai stepped into the first bookstore on his undercover journey. It was a bustling place, with high schoolers perched in every corner, their animated conversations weaving through the air like playful spirits.

This sight brought back a flood of memories for Udai, reminding him of his own rebellious days when he used to cut class just to read manga without buying it.

He meandered among the bookshelves, like a shadow drifting in the twilight. The colorful spines of various mangas lined the shelves, each one beckoning him like a siren’s whisper.

His heart swelled with pride as he caught sight of his own masterpiece nestled cozily amongst the crowd. It felt surreal to witness his creation in the hands of others, to see their eyes devouring each page with an insatiable hunger.

Udai decided to strike up a casual conversation with a group of high schoolers huddled near the manga section. Their excitement was palpable, their discussions echoing in animated pitches.

Engaging them was like stepping into a time capsule and being transported back to his youth. Their camaraderie, their passion, and their unwavering loyalty to the world of manga sparked an ember of inspiration within Udai's soul.

The group of high schoolers laughed and exchanged manga recommendations as Udai listened intently, their words carrying a certain melody that resonated deeply within him. Their glowing faces as they spoke about their favorite characters and thrilling plot twists made Udai realize the true impact his manga had on their lives. It has always been awe-inspiring to witness the magic weaved within the pages of Zombie Knight Zomb'ish transform into tangible emotions and connections.

As the conversations grew louder and more enthusiastic, Udai caught whispers of his work amongst their discussions. The realization hit him like a tsunami of gratitude, washing away any lingering doubts. It was, once again, an affirmation that his art had found a place in the hearts of these young souls, as it had done with him so many years ago.

He was so lost in thought, wandering through the bookstore’s shelves, that he didn’t notice the group of high schoolers clustered together until too late. He collided with one of them, causing that one girl to stumble backwards and her books to scatter across the floor. Udai quickly bent down to help her, and amidst the chaos, he noticed a small keychain dangling from her bag in the shape of a volleyball.

The sight of it stirred something within him, transporting him back to his own high school days.

He remembered the countless hours spent on the court, the sound of the ball smacking against his palms, the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. A flood of emotions washed over Udai, the memories mingling with his present circumstances, making him feel both young and old all at once.

“Are you okay?” he asked, handing some of her books back to her.

The girl nodded shyly, her eyes lingering on his beanie-covered head. Udai could feel her gaze on him, his incognito disguise seemingly fooling no one. He offered her a comic from his pile, and as she reached out to take it, he noticed the keychain again.

For a moment, Udai wished he could go back in time, to relive those days of infinite freedom and limitless potential, to play volleyball and to just go back to where reading manga was ten times better than being in class. But then he realized that he didn’t need to go back; those memories and those joys were still with him, embedded in his soul, reminding him of the power of storytelling and the import of connection.

Udai’s nostalgia was interrupted by the excited chatter of the other high schoolers nearby, talking about the new volume of Zombie Knight Zomb'ish. Their enthusiastic conversation pulled him back into the present, reminding him why he was here in the first place. He gathered himself and focused on observing the reactions of the group.

He watched as they leafed through the pages, their eyes widening with each new twist and turn. The sound of their laughter and exclamations filled the air, banishing any lingering doubts from Udai’s mind. He had created something that touched the hearts of his readers, something that he could be truly proud of.

Udai continued his little incognito field research at the bookstore, his eyes scanning eagerly through the shelves, a special display of his very own Zombie Knight Zomb’ish. As he picked up a copy, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out to see a call from Akaashi.

“Moshi moshi, Akaashi-san,” Udai answered, his fingers lingering on the cover of his latest volume.

———————————————————————————

“Udai-san, good afternoon. I was just checking in on the rough sketching progress. How’s it going?”

———————————————————————————

“Ah, that? It’s coming along well.” He smiled, scanning through the red cover of the copy he had in his hand.

———————————————————————————

“That’s great to hear,” Akaashi replied. “where are you? It sounds pretty noisy.”

———————————————————————————

He grinned, “Oh? I’m elated to have you unexpectedly care about another thing than about work. Where do you think I am right now? Give it a try, Akaashi-san.”

———————————————————————————

“No. Thank you. Probably just another day of slacking off and procrastinating the deadline it is.”

———————————————————————————

“What do you mean slacking off and procrastinating? Didn’t I tell you? This is research.”

———————————————————————————

“Better be some research, Udai Sensei.”

———————————————————————————

“Akaashi yo, didn’t we agree that I’ll be teaching you another lesson everytime you underestimate me about things like this?”

Udai glanced around him, noticing a group of high schoolers approaching the display shelf where his manga being displayed.

Udai promised to send the sketches and hung up the phone, watching as the high schoolers swarmed the manga display. He felt a sense of pride and joy, seeing his work in such high demand. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel like an outsider, removed from the throng of young readers who had embraced his creation.

He wondered what it would be like to be one of the high schoolers once more, to spend all afternoon immersed in the world of manga, bonding with friends over the latest releases.

He quickly judged that it would be better to excuse himself and not expose his identity.

Udai tucked the manga back onto the shelf and made his way to the exit, determined to complete his undercover research before the day was over.

By the time Udai returned home, the sun had already surrendered to the twilight sky, casting a purplish hue across his apartment. He took off his beanie and let his tousled hair fall freely. Thoughts and emotions surged within him, ready to be immortalized in the form of ink and paper.

The drawing swept Udai away, transporting him to a realm where the line between reality and fantasy blurred into kaleidoscopic hues. It was a dance of prose and scratches, a symphony of emotions told through the tale of a young hero fighting against an army of undead. Udai poured his heart into every word, weaving a tapestry that would resonate with the souls of his readers, just as he connected with his own youthful spirit that fateful day.

********************************************************

Udai sat at his desk, phone pressed to his ear as he discussed the plot of the next volume of his manga, Zombie Knight Zomb’ish. His mind raced with ideas and possibilities, his creative vision already taking shape in his mind’s eye.

“Akaashi-san, listen…”

———————————————————————————

“What is it, Udai-san?”

———————————————————————————

“I’ve got some major plot twists that I think we can work with. What if the zombies aren’t the only villains in the story? What if there’s a human organization behind the outbreak?”

———————————————————————————

Akaashi’s voice crackled over the line. “That’s brilliant, Udai-san. It adds a whole new layer of complexity to the story and raises the stakes for the characters.”

———————————————————————————

Udai felt a thrill of excitement coursing through him, the validation of his editor and friend lending him a sense of confidence and inspiration. “Right? Right?”

———————————————————————————

“But how can we link this new twist to what’s already been established in the story?” Akaashi asked.

———————————————————————————

Udai thought for a moment, the gears of his mind turning.

“What do you think if one of the characters is secretly working for the organization that’s behind the outbreak? It would add a layer of betrayal and conflict that we can use to fuel the story.”

———————————————————————————

“Well, yes, that’ll do, I guess.”

———————————————————————————

“Geh!” He grumbled, “Can you be more enthusiastic, Akaashi-san? I am working very hard right here.”

———————————————————————————

“Congratulations on working very hard for your manga, Udai-san.”

———————————————————————————

“Geh.”

As he and Akaashi continued to brainstorm, Udai’s mind wandered back to his time spent observing the public’s reaction to the release of his manga’s new volume. He remembered the faces of the readers, the way they laughed, cried, and cheered as they devoured the pages.

He felt a sense of pride and gratitude, knowing that his work had touched their hearts in profound and meaningful ways. But he also knew that success was not guaranteed, that the creative journey was fraught with obstacles and challenges.

********************************************************

Udai rubbed his bleary eyes, staring at the rough sketches he’d drawn the night before. He had spent another restless night, his mind consumed with the plot of the next volume of Zombie Knight Zomb’ish, his pencil scratching frantically against the blank pages of his sketchpad.

He couldn’t help feeling a sense of frustration and desperation, knowing that his work was still not where he wanted it to be. He traced the lines of his drawings, seeking some kind of inspiration or insight that would help him unlock the creative puzzle that had been eluding him for so long.

With a sigh, Udai got up from his desk and left his apartment, heading straight for the convenience store in his neighborhood. The sun was just beginning to rise, casting a soft glow over the streets as Udai made his way through the quiet morning stillness.

As he entered the store, he reached for an instant breakfast, his mind still consumed by thoughts of his work. He paid for his purchase and sat down at a small table, sipping his coffee and staring out the window at the passing cars and the city as it stirred to life.

But even as he ate, Udai couldn’t shake the restless feeling that consumed him. He knew that he had to find some way to break through the creative blockage that was preventing him from realizing his vision for his work.

Udai left the convenience store and headed back to his apartment. He sifted through his laundry, looking for a fresh shirt to wear, but his eyes were drawn to the ocha-stained shirt that he’d worn on the day he’d accidentally bumped into Sasaki Tsubasa for the second time.

As he stared at the shirt, memories of that day flooded back to him. He thought of Tsubasa’s smile, the way she had looked at him warmly.

Then Udai was immersed a little further into everything that happened that day. One thing that made him reluctant to leave his reverie was about Tsubasa surprisingly being one of his manga readers. Well... even though it wasn’t supposed to be that surprising. The bottom line was what her co-worker, Hatakeyama Jiro, had said about Tsubasa’s interest in his manga.

Udai still remembered everything:

“You know, Udai-san, this kid sometimes steals time to read manga in between her work breaks. She has a stock of manga in her desk drawer to read every break.”

“Oh, come on!”

“I don’t know about the details, but, clearly it’s something about Zombies…”

“This is your last warning, Hatakeyama.”

“Hora, something recommended to me, Sasaki.”

“What?”

“That manga you recommended— was it called Zombie Knight or something else?”

Tsubasa sighed, her eyes glancing at Udai before she said, “You know, we should talk about your timing next time, Hatakeyama.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Hatakeyama-kun, let me introduce you once again to Udai Tenma-san; the creator of Zombie Knight Zomb’ish manga that you were talking about.”

There was silence after Tsubasa introduced Udai to Hatakeyama Jiro once again.

Udai glanced at Tsubasa before he returned to Hatakeyama Jiro, deciding to lower his hand again after raising it awkwardly to greet Hatakeyama Jiro. Waving was certainly not a good choice. His laughter was thin and awkward, almost insincere.

“Ah! So, Udai-san is the mangaka of Zombie Knight?”

“Well…”

“And what?” Tsubasa replied, “After this you’re still going to say that manga is only for kids?”

“Hey, come on! That one’s because you’re childish.”

“Ha!? Don’t make so many nonsensical excuses for your insulting claim!”

“Exactly.”

Hatakeyama Jiro turned to Udai, “Speaking of manga, it’s an honor to know that you’re the very author of Zombie Knight, Udai-san,”

“A-ah... thank you.” Udai said awkwardly.

Hatakeyama Jiro turned back to Tsubasa, “That’s why you’ve been reading Zombie Knight so diligently, apparently.”

“This kid,” Hatakeyama Jiro’s hand pointed at Tsubasa as he turned to the stunned Udai, “she really likes your manga.”

The world stopped.

“Not only that she kept it in her drawer, one day, she wouldn’t stop talking about your manga and gave everyone the hassle of having to listen to everything she said. Not to mention how every week she would go to the bookstore just to buy the latest edition— ah, last time you, remember? She also got the latest series of your manga to bring to the office.”

“H-hey! What’s so wrong with that? I have taste, you know! Besides, the story is that good!”

That’s right. About Tsubasa liking his manga is something that should be normal. However, it was different because it was Tsubasa. He had no problem with anyone—anyone, even perhaps his former Japanese Literature teacher was one out of the million of his readers—but it was a different story if it was her.

Because it was her, everything that was normal in his sense, became unusual.

For one thing, though, his hope has been broken because the heart he once put a scar on has found a healer. The door that he had left open that time, had found someone who politely entered in and locked it tightly. And here, Udai was just an uninvited guest of the story, a merely side character of Hatakeyama Jiro and Sasaki Tsubasa’s blossoming panel.

Udai felt a pang of jealousy, unsure of his own feelings and motivations.

He folded the shirt and placed it back into the hamper, his heart heavy with unanswered questions and unresolved emotions. He knew that he had work to do, that he had to focus on his art and pour himself into his creative vision.

But even as he re-immersed himself into his work, Udai couldn’t shake the memory of his last unexpected encounter with Tsubasa.

With a heavy sigh, Udai pushed those thoughts aside and threw himself back into his work.

—

[hellobunny044]

Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

********************************************************

an original Haikyū AU pairing Udai Tenma (the og little giant)

warning!!: containing some manga content.

word count: 6237

********************************************************

Panel - 9

Miyagi Prefecture, Nine years ago

“Be careful. Really, be careful, Sasaki. It’s very dark inside.” The class rep. warned, looking worried.

Tsubasa smiled, “Alright. I’m okay.”

As the class rep. said, it was quite dark inside the storage room. Tsubasa entered with very careful steps while muttering to herself, “Why didn’t they just buy another lamp for this room?”

With light peeking in from the vents, the storage room was still pitch black. Tsubasa could barely see anything, not to mention the pile of mats that almost blocked her visibility. She had to be extra careful not to break anything there.

“Yosh... yosh... where should I put this anyway?”

Painstakingly casting her eyes around, Tsubasa searched around for the last place the class rep. had put the things she had brought with her earlier. Unable to see anything so clearly, Tsubasa sighed. “Mah... It’s not that anybody can’t rearrange this, right?”

She decided to put the mats down somewhere empty and started walking. One, two, and three cautious steps, hoping that everything went smoothly until the end.

However, bad luck befell her when her foot hit something hard on the floor.

Tsubasa blinked in confusion as she found herself falling forward. She tried to regain her balance, but it was too late. The mats she had been carrying with her fell onto the ground with a loud thud. She winced as she felt the impact of the fall on her knees.

As she tried to pick herself up, she realized that something else had fallen as well. Metal poles clattered on the ground, dangerously close to her face.

But then, from out of nowhere, a strong hand reached out and caught the falling poles.

Her body closing in automatically, her eyes closed to endure the intensity of the loud clattering iron poles. Slowly after the sound disappeared, Tsubasa soon realized that someone had been there with her. She raised her head almost immediately, then felt that she had hit something hard which was followed by a groan.

Dimly from the small light shining into the storage room from the vents, Tsubasa could see a boy covering his nose with his hand, remembering that he had been the one who had bumped into him.

Panicking, Tsubasa reached out, “Are you okay?”

Sending Tsubasa’s touch on his arm, the boy pulled himself up, getting to his feet.

It was as the boy stood before her that, with enough light, Tsubasa could finally get a better look at who the boy was. The unexpected, “Giant Senpai?”

Udai frowned, slowly lowering his hand from his nose as he scrutinized the girl before him.

“What are you doing here?” She asked.

“Sasaki!”

Someone had just rushed in from the entrance, probably the class rep.

“Sasaki!? Are you okay?”

Tsubasa turned to the class rep who was standing in front of the storage room entrance.

The class rep. rushed to Tsubasa who immediately helped herself to get up. Her eyes briefly swept over Udai’s figure which was almost a shadow form in the lack of lighting before returning to Tsubasa.

“Are you okay, Sasaki?”

Tsubasa nodded, “hm. I’m okay.”

She immediately turned to the side when she saw Udai walk away.

“Did you hurt yourself?”

She heard the class rep’s question, but her eyes focused on Udai who had just disappeared from the storage room door, catching a glimpse of his face.

“Your hand? Your head? Did you hurt something?”

Tsubasa turned back to the class rep. who was frantically checking her body.

“Oh, I’m alright, Ishikawa-chan!” She said, smiling. “There’s no need to worry. More than that, you should also be careful not to slip between these rods. It’s dangerous.”

********************************************************

Over at the lockers, Tsubasa was trying to focus on getting ready for her next class. But her mind kept circling back to what happened in the storage room.

Tsubasa was pretty sure that with what happened—with how Udai was there to prevent the metal columns from falling on him—Udai couldn’t possibly be alright, right? Technically, he was there to ward off the metal rods before they could fall on her vulnerable body, though the thing about how he knew precisely where she was in the middle of that dark room was still a mystery. And whether it was his shoulder, his arm, or perhaps somewhere on his face, Tsubasa swore she heard a thump before the clattering sound rang.

There was no way he was going to be okay after those heavy metal poles fell on him, and if it was true and something did happen to him, Tsubasa wouldn’t be able to shake the guilt.

Walking hand in hand with her friends to go to the next class, Tsubasa’s mind was constantly occupied by simulations of the previous incident and what might have happened to Udai. If his hand was injured because of the incident, then of course it would be a big problem.

We’re talking about a very important player in the Karasuno volleyball team here.

If something really happened to his hand then Tsubasa would—

Her steps halted midway, stopping the amused laughter of the other girls who were two steps ahead of her. Puzzled, they simultaneously turned.

“What’s wrong, Sasaki?”

“Did you forget something?”

Tsubasa then said, “Sorry, you guys can go ahead.”

His two friends frowned.

“I’ll go to the toilet.”

Tsubasa no longer paid attention to her friends calling out to her to ask in which seat she wanted to sit in this class. Tsubasa just gave a perfunctory answer as she ran out of the corridor.

********************************************************

Udai opened the toilet door quietly, gradually feeling the pain in his wrist as he turned the door knob. Entering the toilet, he took a quick look at his wrist and then went to turn on the water faucet.

While washing his hands and washing his face, Udai realized that his wrist wasn’t okay after what happened in the storage room.

He had been so kind as to make his body a shield for the girl who was almost crushed by the iron poles of the volleyball club net. In hindsight, it was a short-sighted decision. Why would he throw his body there and suddenly become a hero in someone’s story? Now, as for the result of his stupid decision, he had to figure out how to make it to the afternoon practice without making any ruckus for hurting his wrist.

The team has a practice match scheduled with Ouginishi High School next week. If he ditched practice, their super strict coach would not hesitate to replace him with another third-year or first-year left wing-spiker and that’ll be no good for him.

Udai decided to take care of his wrist after class ended. First of all, for now, he had to hurry up for the next class.

He washed his face once more, ignoring the pain in his wrist.

From time to time, Udai glanced at his wrist, making sure that there were no bruises evident for now. Then, after wiping his face, Udai stretched his wrist: twisting it slowly or moving it back and forth while slightly frowning if it felt sore.

He had the time to brave from the impact with the poles just enough. There will be nothing serious about his wrist. An elastic bandage and proper care would do for this kind of minor injury.

Udai left the restroom with a leisurely pace towards class, passing through a fairly quiet corridor with only a few second-years passing by on their way to their respective classes.

He didn’t expect anything as he walked down the corridor to his next class. All he could think about was his next class and that it was chemistry, so perhaps, they would be working on something in groups.

He really didn’t expect anything, let alone a loud call that made his body twitch in shock as his steps halted midway.

“Giant senpai!”

Udai didn’t want to guess, but as he recalled, there were only a really few people who would call him in that way and the first one that came to mind was an underclassman with particularly brown hair. Then when he looked back, fate answered him by presenting her at the end of the corridor.

There stood a girl he knew at the end of the corridor, returning his gaze. It was as if she was running, her breathing was a little ragged before she was able to manage a slight bow to greet him. Then, without any formal words or some pleasantries, she rushed over to him.

Standing before him was, yet again, Sasaki Tsubasa.

Udai was still registering what was happening and trying to project what would happen after this, but then she was right there before him, closer than she was some seconds before. His eyes caught how her eyes traced him as if she was scanning his body so casually.

Before Udai could reprimand her about her impoliteness, to his face, she had lifted a plastic bag containing a faint hint of several things that he also hadn’t had quite a good look at because she was fast to pull it back then said, “Just in case,”

Udai frowned.

Before he could process a response, Tsubasa had slipped her hand between the strap of his bag and pulled him out of the corridor. He heard her say, “Come with me for a moment.”

********************************************************

Udai was someone content with solitude, comfortable with how things work on his own terms.

In his panels, he deliberately didn’t invite many people. There has always been only his own self, his weaknesses and strengths to be embraced and nurtured into a formidable weapon to fight against the unfairness of this world. The idea of opening up the access to connect with the people outside of his panel had never crossed his mind before, until there was someone who had the audacity to cross the line being uninvited.

Really, though, what’s with this continuous encounter with her?

He barely knew her, and yet she was acting as if they were close friends as she dragged him by the strap of his bag to the gymnasium and insisted on giving first aid to his injured wrist.

Well, he was grateful that an early first aid might have prevented the situation from worsening, but he also couldn’t say that he wasn’t uncomfortable being in this situation.

When was the last time he ever interacted with someone other than the club members or some classmates who was forced to be in the same group project with him and needed his help?

“I’m sorry, Senpai,” Tsubasa said suddenly, breaking the silence. “I feel really guilty about what happened in the storage room.”

Udai frowned. “Why should you feel guilty? It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was,” she said, “as… I was there, being careless, thinking that I can carry all the remaining mats at once, and that If I can carry all of them at once, it would make the work faster, and we would have finished earlier. It was my fault because I was impatient, rushing, and then because my feet bumped into something on the floor, I lose my balance then crashed those iron rods and then—”

“It wasn’t your fault that I was there.” Udai insisted, and started feeling a little restless for that long self-explanation just now.

“I know,” Tsubasa said, “But if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”

Udai shook his head. “It’s not your fault,” he repeated firmly. “I made the choice to jump in. That one’s on me, and I don’t regret it.”

Udai realized that Tsubasa had paused to stare at him while he made his point clear. His brow immediately furrowed, taking the situation in. He failed to say something as her eyes immediately shifted to his wrist that she was wrapping with an elastic bandage. Very quickly, as if she was not the one who had been watching him keenly just some moments before.

“Hee… Alright, then. I get it,”

Udai frowned.

“So, this was after all about pride, huh?”

Udai was not angry that what she said was not true. Udai felt annoyed and half embarrassed because thinking about it, the one before, he sounded like he was defending his pride whole-heartedly. Unwilling to budge and being so firm in his own stance... not to mention the words I don’t regret it.

What’s with that I don’t regret it earlier? He regretted it, of course, since now his wrist was sore!

“But, it’s alright,” Tsubasa looked up at him, her eyes full of gratitude. “Thank you, Senpai.”

Udai felt like the world had been spinning in slow motion ever since his ears received that word of thanks. It wasn’t anything poetic or sweet, just a simple thank you.

For a moment, he pondered about it... about the warmth of connecting with others outside of his panel. About a forgotten warmth, which was reintroduced by this strange girl.

He didn’t know her well.

The only thing that gave her access to his panel was their switched cell phones, then the cookies, and this very storage room accident.

Udai didn’t even know her name, nor had he had the will to ask because he was previously convinced that this was just a flash contact. Yet with a simple thank you, he felt that just now, she was… really in.

For so long has been abandoning the idea of connecting with others outside of his panel, Udai had almost forgotten that it would feel this warm.

As Tsubasa continued to wrap the bandage around his wrist, she accidentally bumped her head into Udai's nose. He yelped in pain, clutching his nose with his free hand.

“Oh! Oh- I’m so sorry!” Tsubasa exclaimed, looking horrified. “Are you okay? Did I hurt your nose? Did it bleed?”

Udai frowned, his hand still holding his nose. “I’m fine.”

“Really?” She asked, still looking concerned.

Udai moved his hand from his nose, “Really. I’m really fine.”

Tsubasa sighed in relief, “Thank goodness I didn’t hurt you twice.”

Udai almost winced at her words, uncomfortable with the assertion that she was the one who hurt him. This time, however, he did not respond to that. Instead, his desire to quickly exclude himself grew, and he asked, “Are you done?”

Tsubasa shook her head, “No. Not yet.”

Udai didn’t say anything more after that, just casually handing his hand to her and letting her quickly finish wrapping the bandage around his wrist.

“Make sure you compress this with a warm water at home,”

Like I didn’t know.

“So, what are you doing in the storage room, Senpai?” Tsubasa asked.

“None of your business.”

There he goes. Another childish retort just like that time.

Udai knew how childish he sounded when he answered in that way, yet did it anyway.

“You’re right about that,” Tsubasa said, “but I’m just curious. I wonder, in such a dark room, what you would have been doing if you’d been there? I mean, it was almost pitch black right there, wasn’t it? Did you come to get something after our class was over? Or during the game? Oh? Or, have you been there since before our gym class even started?”

Udai sighed, “You’re not just curious when you’re asking so many questions at once.”

And he only realized that he had said something weird when he saw Tsubasa stop to stare, as if she was working hard to register his words.

He quickly shifted his gaze to his wrist, “Are you done now?”

Tsubasa also immediately returned, “Oh, right. I forgot. I’m sorry!”

Tsubasa however, unlike Udai, was not awkward as she returned to diligently wrapping the elastic bandage around his wrist. Unlike Udai, she was someone who was used to connecting with others. Unlike Udai’s deserted panel, hers was crowded with people reaching out to connect with her.

What could fate want from this continuous encounter?

Instead of that, perhaps today, he should give up on doing some technical drills.

********************************************************

Udai stood on the sidelines as the rest of the team started the afternoon practice session.

As expected, as soon as he arrived with a bandaged wrist, he was excluded from any technical drills.

“Did I miss an injury report?” Ukai Ikkei, their coach, asked.

Udai hesitated for a moment, then decided to come with something. “I hurt my wrist this morning.”

“With what?” He pressed.

“Just an accident in the bathroom,” Udai lied.

Instead of telling the whole story about him suddenly becoming the hero in someone else’s terms that the super strict old man wouldn’t buy, lying about something that makes no sense would be ten times better.

Ukai Ikkei scowled, “And why didn’t you report this to me?”

“I’m sorry for not reporting.”

“If you still want to be a regular, you need to sit out these technical drills and do some extra physical training this afternoon. Understood?”

“Understood.”

Udai nodded, feeling both embarrassed and grateful that there weren’t any more questions that followed.

He did more running and some physical training that did not involve his hands too much for a while whilst the rest of the team were up for a spike drill.

He could actually hit a few, but he knew it would only cause new problems for him later. For now, he was better off following the rules and staying in the safe lane.

There was still enough time to earn the starting spot for their upcoming practice match against Oiginishi High School. That was more than enough.

As the team took a break, Udai walked over to the bench to take his drink.

“What’s happened to your wrist, Udai-kun?” The first question and concern, expectedly came from Tsukishima Akiteru.

“Just an accident.” Udai answered subtly.

“What? Did you fall on your hand or something?” Then, their second-year middle blocker, Sakuma, chirped.

“Kind of.”

“What the heck?”

Udai then took another sip from his bottle and shifted his gaze to his wrist. Taking some moments to just stare then shifted to the storage room.

He absentmindedly rubbed his wrist, feeling the bandage press against his skin. He wondered if it was too tight, if it was causing more pain than it was helping, but no, it was alright.

Sasaski Tsubasa, now he knew her name.

.

Tokyo, Present day

Udai and Tsubasa made their way into the cozy coffee shop, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling their nostrils. They found a secluded table in the corner, away from the hustle and bustle of the other customers.

As they sat down, the awkward silence descended upon them. Tsubasa fiddled with her hands, stealing glances at Udai from time to time, unsure of what to say. Udai, for his part, was trying his best to make the situation less tense.

They sat across from each other, sipping on their warm beverages. The atmosphere was awkward, silent.

Udai cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence that hung between them. “So, um, how have you been?”

Tsubasa smiled faintly, “I’ve been doing well. How about you, Udai-san?”

“I’ve been busy with work,” Udai answered, taking a sip of his coffee awkwardly.

Silence fell between them again and Udai wondered if he had pushed his luck too far by asking her out for coffee. He had always been bad at reading the signs and he didn’t want to make things more awkward than they already were.

“So, about the little boy earlier,” Udai said, trying to make conversation. “It’s a good thing his father showed up before the police had to take him in.”

Tsubasa nodded, “Yes, I was worried for a moment there. But luckily, it all worked out.”

“Yeah,” Udai agreed, clearly relieved that he had managed to turn the conversation into a neutral topic. “The weather has been nice lately, hasn’t it?”

Tsubasa turned briefly, missing a beat then chuckled softly before answering, “Yes, it has. The days are getting shorter though, and it’s almost autumn.”

Udai felt a pang of guilt, realizing that he was the one who had ended things between them in the summer eight years ago.

He quickly cleared his throat and changed the topic again. “So, how’s work been for you?”

Tsubasa smiled, her eyes lighting up. “It’s been great, actually.”

Udai hummed.

Something was heavy on his tongue, a question that he really didn’t want to ask but thrashing to jump out from the tip of hos tongue. About something Hatakeyama Jiro had said the day before, about something that distracted him from time to time when he was working.

Udai didn't want to ask anything about it after Tsubasa said something about his work, underlining something about Hatakeyama Jiro that immediately discouraged him.

“As always, Hatakeyama is someone who is very reliable in everything about this job.”

“Ah…”

He saw Tsubasa smile, “He’s not someone who can be said to be very good, however, in his work, he really pays attention to the little things. Three years of working in the same office, in the same department, I felt that I was always far behind and couldn’t help but continue to depend on him.”

“Hm…”

“Mah…” Tsubasa chuckled, lifting her coffee cup once more, ready to take a sip. “As it should be, it’s something a Senpai should do.”

“Hm…”

Udai felt annoyed at suddenly feeling uncomfortable after they entered this topic.

He heard Tsubasa put the cup back on the saucer. The clink was clear, as was Tsubasa’s voice that came with her sentence.

“Today, he must be struggling to do all his work and cover up for everything I should be doing.”

She giggled, then sighed, “Well... it’s not like I purposely didn’t want to work today.”

Right. Thinking about that, she should be working during this time.

“You didn’t ask?”

Tsubasa’s question drew Udai’s gaze to her. He saw the way she was smiling.

“Like, why would an office worker like me wander around in casual clothes during work hours— like that. No?”

Oh. Right. He forgot. He should have asked, right?

“Ah… Well…” Udai paused, trailed over, missing the way Tsubasa stared at him in frown. “Well… why aren’t you working today?”

“That’s it?”

“Hm?”

Tsubasa chuckled, “No, no. My bad.” she smiled, “I just haven’t felt well since yesterday after lunch.” glancing at Udai briefly, Tsubasa quickly added, “Don't worry, it’s clearly not about the octopus.”

About Tsubasa’s allergy, she had a pretty severe octopus allergy. She would develop a fairly high fever along with a pretty bad red rash on her face if she ever ate even a small portion of octopus. Sometime in the past, nine years ago, something similar happened and Tsubasa was also unable to go to school.

“I didn’t catch a fever,” she said, “I probably just experiencing a slight anemia from lack of rest. Also, about my lunch, strangely, they completely omitted octopus meat from the lunch menu that I always order.”

“Ah…”

“I wondered if Hatakeyama went to say something to the chef.”

Udai still caught Tsubasa’s mutterings after that.

“Well... I’m sure it must have been him.” She added, “He probably got fed up with having to help me separate the octopus from my food several times.”

Udai’s mind wandered to imagine how Hatakeyama would do that for Tsubasa. He also unnecessarily thought about how they would spend lunch on normal days, on days when he wasn’t there to interrupt them.

In the middle of this hot summer, would Hatakeyama sit beside Tsubasa to from time to time wipe her forehead that might be sweating... or would he use the back of his hand to wipe her sweat... or something more romantic than what he could imagine.

Come to think of it, Udai was very good at ruining his own mood. He was like a pro at it.

“How about you, Udai-san?” Tsubasa’s voice broke his reverie.

“Hm?”

His gaze returned to Tsubasa.

“How’s your work going?”

The smile that greeted him was a slight but sweet. The look in her eyes awaited his answer, contrasting with the confusion in his eyes.

Not letting the silence slip between them, Tsubasa added, “I certainly do not really understand how you do your job... However, I’m sure that even after all these years, filling each panel with interesting sketches is still not an easy thing to do, right?”

Udai’s heart was swelled by her words.

From the smile on her face, flashbacks of their summer past came back to him in a huge wave that instantly washed him away.

Udai was brought back to a time when summer was not just about the heat, but about the pink that colored all his senses. About pencils, papers, sketches, unprofessional panel lines roughly filling those old papers, and a presence that always ringed with laughter that carried away the weariness that crept into his bones.

Those days are over.

The day he turned away from her presence at the end of that corridor, time had taken away all the pink that had once held him tightly.

Shaking off his sentimentality, Udai smiled, “Well... you know well enough about how hard it is.”

Tsubasa smiled back.

“My job…” Udai trailed off, thinking of something safer to say about this.

He didn’t want to later have to get even more sentimental than he was right now when he accidentally went too far and alluded to something that would rattle something from the past.

Then, he knew what to say.

“I just work hard to always meet my reader’s expectation, well… trying,” he nodded. “After all, in my terms as a mangaka, my readers are the life of my manga. If I can’t reach their expectation well in every volume, then it’s possible that production will come to a halt. And inevitably, the life that is unfolding within each panel will also be taken away.”

Udai sighed.

“Well... to keep that from happening, I worked hard. Also... well…”

A glimpse of someone he knew very well flashed before he continued.

“I also have someone who is very strict and always demanding a good story in each volume.”

Udai didn’t have time to glance at Tsubasa to study her expression.

“My editor is very strict,” he smiled, “but because he is very strict, I am always being saved in each of every volume. Indeed, sometimes, it only takes a little push in order to move forward.”

Udai only realized that what he said last time was something Tsubasa had said to him when he stopped and locked eyes with Tsubasa, when in her eyes there was warmth, familiarity, recognition, shrouded in surprise.

He had previously promised that he would try hard not to bring up anything from the past.

“Indeed.” Tsubasa responded with a smile.

Awkwardly, Udai immediately picked up his cup, taking another sip of his coffee in a bit of a hurry, hoping to swallow the awkwardness right away.

He thought of quickly shifting their conversation into a safer topic, however, he suddenly asked something stupid.

“Are you still reading manga?”

The question he had been desperately avoiding slipped out of his mouth.

Idiot.

Tsubasa was surprised to get that question— yeah, great. He had just made Tsubasa uncomfortable with his unnecessary, stupid question.

He heard Tsubasa sigh, “Well... Hatakeyama made that too clear the other day, didn’t he?” Then she smiled, “yeah, I read manga.”

He heard Tsubasa sigh, “Well... Hatakeyama made that too clear the other day, didn’t he?” Then she smiled, “yeah, I read manga.”

He missed a beat, “What… What kind of manga do you like to read?”

Tsubasa leaned forward, her expression brightening. “I like all kinds of manga, actually. From romance to action to horror. I think it’s important to have a well-rounded perspective on things.”

“Ah…”

“Hatakeyama,” he heard Tsubasa sigh, as if almost wincing, “he’s always saying that manga is a childish hobby. Obviously doesn’t know how mangaka are all adults spending their time draining the best bubbles of their imagination to fill every panel with lifes that are ten times better than the ones in the real world. What’s wrong with adults reading manga? Everyone has the right to have a hobby! Whatever it is,”

He caught Tsubasa’s gaze returning to him after that.

“Udai-san, do you remember the other day?”

“Hm?”

“When we were having lunch… a lunch before I spilled the ocha on your t-shirt— ah! I’m really terribly sorry about that!”

“Oh... it’s alright about that—“

“That day, you remember Hatakeyama saying that reading some manga is a childish hobby, right?”

“O-oh…. yeah… well…”

“But after I introduced you to him formally that time, he started paying attention to the manga I was reading. He also started peeking at the manga I was reading a few times. I believe, after this, he will buy your manga immediately if he sees me reading it once again.”

He saw Tsubasa sigh, breaking into a warm smile afterward.

“Well… indeed,” her gaze returned to Udai, “I can feel how hard you work on each volume of your manga. Each time, it’s like a thrilling new adventure, it always feels like I’m exploring a new, big maze.”

Udai flinched.

“Good work, Udai Sensei!”

Tsubasa’s smile bloomed, sending warmth into his chest. Udai fidgeted, cursing. He shouldn’t be drowning into this atmosphere.

“Ah! I just bought the special edition of Zombie Knight last week via the website, so I couldn’t get an autograph. Can I get an exclusive autograph of the mangaka, perhaps? Well... since I technically missed the fansign...” Tsubasa shrugged.

“Ah… I… That’s….”

Tsubasa chuckled. The ringing of her laughter was as clear as wind chimes greeting each other with the summer breeze.

“I’m joking!” She said, her hand naturally reaching for her cup, taking another sip of her coffee.

Udai heard her mumble something, but his mind was wandering, away on the fact that Tsubasa was reading his manga.

He wondered if she remembered that she was the one who gave him the idea to give life to this story between humans and zombies that he had brought so far, almost reaching its ending. He wondered if she read the manga with a glimmer of pride in her heart about that. In a way, Udai wanted her to read with pride knowing that there was a fragment of her mind in each panel. Maybe not as big as the part he gave birth to, but enough to drive the birth of millions of panels to this day.

“And….”

Her voice broke Udai’s reverie once again. His eyes quickly returned to her, catching the way her eyes trailed.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you this,”

“… What?”

Udai felt nervous, somehow feeling that perhaps this time the question would be something heavy, which would make his mouth locked with hesitation to answer, because Tsubasa, uncharacteristically took a little too long to arrive at her question.

Every second wasted while she considered her words was like a hell of anxiety for Udai who waited uneasily.

Udai felt a knot form in his stomach.

Finally, she said, “Do you still play volleyball?”

The question that came was not something that would make his mouth lock with hesitation, or something that would make the world in his terms collapse instantly like what he feared so much.

The question that came was a common thing that every person from his past would ask him after a long time not seeing him.

“I don’t have much track of you since high school. The last thing I remember was The Spring Tournament.”

Udai felt guilt consume him at the memory. He had been a part of the team that had lost in the tournament, and he had let everyone down.

“Ah… It’s not that I am expecting to know such things about you. Just curious.”

Udai looked at her, eyes holding so many untold emotions.

“… Is the little giant still going on to the court sometimes to answer his nature— well… something like that.”

“Right… That Spring Tournament was the last, huh?”

He had quit volleyball soon after high school, unable to face the shame of his failure.

In the past, Udai was a star who was famous on the orange court.

The Little Giant, they called him.

He was a young crow who flew fearlessly through the sky with a strong wind blowing in his path.

Piling on his shoulders was pride, confidence and responsibility. Blooming inside of him was thirst and greed that eventually brought him down, slapping him with the bitter reality that there was a wall he could not climb. About the fact that perhaps, volleyball was not for him after all.

From his failure, not only did he want to run away from all those eyes that had watched every path that he once traced in his youth, more than them, he wanted to run away from her eyes. Because more than anything, her eyes were where he could shatter. But because of his pride and arrogance, he brushed it aside and turned his back on her.

He didn’t want to shatter before her, embarrassed and was too proud.

But now, there came a time when he finally had to be honest with his own feelings. At the very least, about how volleyball was no longer the air he breathed. About how volleyball was no longer the only wing that could make him fly high.

His smile unfolded, neither bitter nor regretful. Not even a speck of guilt about the past he had left behind, just an acceptance of the reality inside his panel.

“I quit.”

—

.

. Extension.

.

Tsukishima Akiteru was set to lock the gymnasium as he was the last one to leave after the volleyball team’s practice.

As he was about to turn off the lights, he noticed a light flickering inside the storage room. Tsukishima was surprised, he didn’t know anyone was still inside.

He slowly walked towards the room, wondering who it could be, and heard the sound of someone moving things around. Tsukishima hesitated but didn’t want to scare whoever was inside. He slowly opened the door and saw Udai turning on the storage room lights and once again surprised him because now, the previously pitch-black room had become brighter with the lamp on.

“Oh? It’s fixed?” Tsukishima muttered.

His gaze shifted to Udai who was rearranging some mats that were not neatly arranged somewhere, combining them with some other equipment on the other side of the room.

“What are you doing here, Udai-kun?” Tsukishima asked.

“Nothing.”

Tsukishima frowned in confusion.

“You are to lock the gymnasium?” For a moment, Udai turned to him.

“Oh. Yeah.” Tsukishima nodded.

Udai then bowed his head before walking away, “Good job, Tsukishima-san.”

“O-oh… Good job, Udai-kun.”

Watching Udai waking out of the gymnasium, Tsukishima muttered in confusion. “What was that?”

His gaze returned to the storage room, to the now brightly lit lamp that he recalled was broken.

“Did he fix the lamp just now?”

********************************************************

A week had passed since the accident in the storage room of the gymnasium, and Tsubasa’s class had gym class that day.

As usual, they headed to the storage room to collect the mats they needed for their activities. As they approached, something caught their attention.

“Eh? The lamp is fixed now,” the class rep. said in surprise.

They looked around, and indeed, there was more light than the usual dimness. The lamp that had been broken for weeks was now fixed and shining brightly.

“Someone must have fixed it,” one of Tsubasa’s classmates said.

Tsubasa quietly observed from afar, looking at the now well-lit storage room.

She wondered somewhere, eyes trailing over to the entrance room, to someone.

********************************************************

Later that afternoon, Tsubasa’s friends were excitedly discussing the boys' volleyball team’s practice match against Ouginishi High School this very afternoon.

They were going on about how handsome the other team’s players were.

Tsubasa, however, was not interested in their chatter about the other team. Her mind wandered to someone else.

She silently made up her mind to watch the match. To see if he was taking part in this match.

As she stood there on the second floor of the gymnasium, the game had started. The score was currently 19-15 with Ouginishi leading currently.

It wasn’t her first time watching the boys’ team play, but today’s match made her quite anxious. Especially about what had happened to Udai.

She slowly began to think that perhaps Udai’s injury from saving her had prevented him from playing his best in today’s practice match.

However, just as those thoughts were slowly plundering in her mind, Udai seemed to answer that he was fine.

“Udai!”

“Left, left!”

“Their number 10 is coming now!”

“Three-man block, get ready on count…!”

His high jump met three long, looming arms blocking his vision of the opposing court. Like a brave young crow, he flew over the net, with a chirp that echoed the acceptance of the challenge.

The ball flashed in front of him, and he blasted through. He neatly angled his spike to the vulnerable spot of one of the blockers hands, and sealed the point for Karasuno.

“Nice kill!”

“Udai-san nice aim!”

“Alright, let’s take it back!”

Tsubasa was still in awe. Her gaze did not leave his back number wrapped in the arms of his two teammates as they gathered to celebrate the point.

“Kawada-san, nice serve!” Udai called, getting ready in his position as they gathered back to carry the match on.

[hellobunny044]

Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

********************************************************

an original Haikyu AU pairing Udai Tenma (the og little giant)

warning!!: containing some manga content.

word count: 6040

********************************************************

Panel - 10

Udai sat in his dimly lit studio, surrounded by paper and caffeine. He was lost in the chaos of his creative process, scribbling notes and character sketches with abandon. He was grappling with the familiar challenge of deadlines and creativity, his mind a wild thing that refused to be tamed.

The phone rang, startling Udai out of his reverie. He answered mechanically, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

———————————————————————

“Udai-san,” Akaashi’s voice came over the line, crisp and businesslike.

———————————————————————

“Oh? Akaashi-san,” Udai replied, trying to shake off the fog of his creative trance.

———————————————————————

“Just making sure you’re still alive.”

———————————————————————

Udai sighed, “Really? Is that really the reason you’re calling? Well… hung up now. I’m working, Editor-san.”

———————————————————————

“No. Actually I’m calling to remind you of your deadline,” Akaashi continued, his voice unwavering. “Volume 25 is due in six days.”

———————————————————————

Udai sighed, his gaze falling to the stack of papers on his desk. He knew the deadline was looming, but he was still lost in the haze of his creative process.

“I know, I know,” Udai muttered, his voice tired. “I’m trying to get everything done, but it’s not easy. I’m just a mangaka, not a magician.”

———————————————————————

“I see,” Akaashi replied, his tone unreadable.

———————————————————————

Udai laughed bitterly, insinuating. “Your response is cool as always, Akaashi-san.”

———————————————————————

“Well, as your editor, I’d advise you to focus on wrapping up the ending first. Then, you can go back and make any necessary adjustments to the rest of the story.”

———————————————————————

Udai nodded, silently grateful for the advice. Akaashi was always good about giving him pointers and tips to help him stay on track.

“Roger that, Editor-san. I’ll try that,” Udai said, scribbling a note on the edge of his paper. “Thank you for the kind reminder, Akaashi-san. Always.”

———————————————————————

“Of course,” Akaashi replied, his voice clipped. “I’ll be checking in with you again soon. Don’t forget about the deadline.”

———————————————————————

“Yeah… I mean, just hang up the call, I’m working. And you’re technically—“

He sighed when he heard the beep sound from the other end of the line. Akaashi really hung up right after.

“That little owl…” he mumbles, jerkily moving the pen against the tablet. “I’ll teach him a lesson.”

********************************************************

And yet, as the day wore on, here he was, facing the fact that he had not made the progress he wanted to make on the 25th volume of his manga.

At his desk, still with his computer and tabs on, fingers still clutching the pen, and head no longer able to defy gravity, almost planted on the table, his eyes were wide open in confusion.

What does he mean by teaching Akaashi a lesson?

Even at this very moment, he had not been able to accomplish anything. The life he wanted to birth into the 25th volume had yet to have a manifestation that matched what he had previously projected in his head.

He was doomed.

This time, however, Udai did not wait for Akaashi’s call to come. Taking the initiative, he dialed his number first, knowing that Akaashi must have woken up preceding the sun to hone his words so as they were always as sharp as ever.

Although something was different about the call this time, and that Akaashi sounded a little sleepier than usual, Udai didn’t care. He got straight to the main point of this call: whining to the phone.

“Akaashi-san~”

———————————————————————

“Eh? Udai-san?”

———————————————————————

And another, in a more defeated voice, “Akaashi-san~”

———————————————————————

“Wha– what happened, Udai-san? Are you alright?”

———————————————————————

“I’m not okay!” Udai almost shouted to the call receiver on the other line.

———————————————————————

“O-oh… alright…” Akaashi sighed, “How bad is your situation?”

———————————————————————

“This is a major crisis! Basically an existential crisis!”

———————————————————————

“Existential—” Akaashi sighed, “Just tell me how bad is it this time? How many hours did you waste of doing nothing?”

———————————————————————

“Seriously!?” Udai raised his head, a dramatic reaction that Akaashi could not see. “I worked very hard on this and you’re seriously asking about how many hours I’ve wasted doing nothing? Akaashi-san, you’re really cruel!”

He heard Akaashi sigh from the other end of the line.

His head was bowed down, resting on his palm, as his fingers combed through his messy hair. Almost grimacing, he muttered, “I am doomed now, Akaashi-san. I’m done. This is my end. This is the end of the world.”

Once again, he heard Akaashi sigh.

As Udai muttered some things to dramatize his failure even more, there was silence on the other end of the line, as if Akaashi was considering what to say.

Finally, he spoke.

———————————————————————

“Udai-san, as your editor, I want to remind you that deadlines are important,” Akaashi said, his voice firm.

———————————————————————

Udai’s response came in an almost half snapping, half crying manner, “I know that too well even if you don’t say it repeatedly, Akaashi-san!”

———————————————————————

“Well then, as the good start, it’s good if you know about that.”

———————————————————————

Udai dropped his head on the table, giving up on what he had just heard. Then a string of dramatic cries and whines came out of his mouth, mostly about the editor’s nonchalantness, or about his mistreatment of someone who was senior to him in age, or even other childish things that had absolutely nothing to do with the development of his manga.

Once, on the other side of the line, it was so quiet that Udai finally stopped and glanced at his phone to make sure that Akaashi was still there to hear everything he said.

Akaashi was indeed still connected, but the atmosphere on the other side of the phone was almost like a ghost town. Then Udai spoke, calling out to make sure, “Akaashi-san? Are you still there? Do you hear me? Are you dying?”

Only then did a response come.

———————————————————————

“Are you able to cooperate with me, Udai-san?” Akaashi sighed, “And I’m not dying.”

———————————————————————

Oh, that question sounded serious yet mocking at the same time. Udai almost winced. With a dejected voice, he answered briefly. Giving Akaashi the part to say something.

A loud sigh clear on the other end of the line.

———————————————————————

“Listen, Udai-san. Deadlines are important. I understand that creativity can be unpredictable. And though sometimes, I might be a little strict to admit that, but I know enough to know that sometimes, we can’t force our ideas to come to us.”

———————————————————————

Udai glanced at his phone, missing a few beats before he said, “You finally said something that sounds more humane, Akaashi-san.” His voice was low, like pouting.

On the other side, Akaashi sighed again.

———————————————————————

“I know that the ultimate goal of this conversation is remission,”

———————————————————————

“Akaashi-san, I really worked hard. I swear on every god there is if they do exist that I worked really hard this time.”

———————————————————————

“Yes, I know, Udai-san. I didn’t say anything.”

Akaashi sighed, as if giving Udai remission was a crucial decision that if he miscalculated would result in a less positive outcome of the manga production. And it was true. With Udai’s incredible procrastinating skills, a remission might lead to a disaster if Akaashi’s attention to the artist slipped away even a little.

He added, “I’ll talk to the production team. You get three days from me.”

———————————————————————

“Three days!?” Udai exclaimed, almost too hysterically.

———————————————————————

“That’s more than enough, isn’t it? Or two days?”

———————————————————————

Soon, Udai was whining again, “Akaashi-san~”

———————————————————————

“The deal is three days. More than that, I can’t save you, Udai-san. You just might want to consider a hiatus.”

———————————————————————

Udai scoffed childishly, “Ciih! You’re so uncooperative.” He added, “Are you a robot?”

———————————————————————

“I’m just being a little too responsible for my work, and from time to time help you maintain your good reputation, Udai-san.”

———————————————————————

“Aw! Aren’t you sweet, Akaashi-san?”

But Udai’s expression changed quickly, and so did his tone. “You really are so stingy, Akaashi-san! You’re not fun! You really are not fun!”

He heard Akaashi sigh from the other end of the line.

———————————————————————

“Alright then, I’ll wait for the revised script in three days.”

———————————————————————

Scoffed, Udai said, “Forget about three days, I’ll finish it in two!”

———————————————————————

“That’s even better.”

———————————————————————

“Akaashi-san~”

———————————————————————

“Then, just remember that creativity is a wild thing. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is let it run free.” Akaashi said.

There was a pause, silence filling in for a while.

Starting with another sigh, Akaashi’s last words before hanging up were, “You’re probably just hungry or thinking about something too much. Try to open the window and start cleaning up your workspace and eat less chips when your body asks for rice.”

———————————————————————

“Akaashi-san, are you my mom?”

———————————————————————

“Fortunately, not.” Akaashi said, “then, Udai-san. I’ll call again later. Good day today.”

———————————————————————

For a few moments after the call with Akaashi ended, Udai remained where he was. Not moving, not saying anything. Besides the fact that he was still stuck thinking about how he could finish this whole manuscript in three days when his head was so empty, he also thought about something Akaashi had said earlier.

It was true that instead of filling those empty panels with new lives, his mind sometimes wandered off to other places. A place he didn’t really know where but familiar.

His eyes closed forcefully, his last attempt to drive away all the remnants of insanity that made his mind always coming back to that place, to that person.

But no, maybe he was too hungry.

Udai opened his eyes, looking at the trash bag full of chips. He had run out of stock. Maybe that’s why his brain couldn’t work optimally.

He agreed that he was probably just lacking a snack.

Rather than thinking about other possibilities that would make things worse, Udai tried to indoctrinate himself that it was just as simple as he was lacking a normal dose of his chips income and needed a new atmosphere, or he might also be too tired to continue.

His eyes slowly became heavy. Right. He was just tired.

“First of all, sleep.”

**************************************************************************************

Udai awoke to the sound of his own stomach growling. He rubbed his bleary eyes, trying to shake off the remnants of his restless sleep. It was late afternoon, and the sun was beginning to set beyond the horizon.

He groggily made his way to the kitchen, rummaging through his cabinets and fridge in search of something to eat. But all he found were stale chips and a half-empty carton of milk gone sour.

Udai sighed, realizing that he had yet again neglected his basic needs in favor of his creative endeavors. He knew he had to eat something before he passed out from hunger. So he grabbed his wallet and headed out to the nearest convenience store.

As he walked along the streets, the hustle and bustle of the city surrounded him. People hurried past him, their eyes downcast and their faces pensive. Cars honked, buses screeched to a stop, and the wind rustled through the trees lining the sidewalks.

Udai entered the convenience store, the smell of salty snacks and sweet candies instantly hitting his nose. He wandered through the aisles as if in a daze, his eyes scanning the rows of packaged foods and drinks.

Finally, he settled on a simple bento box with some rice, grilled chicken, and mixed vegetables. He paid for his meal and walked over to the small seating area in the store, plopping down into one of the plastic chairs.

He took a bite of his food, savoring the savory flavor of the chicken as it melted in his mouth. He watched the news on the television mounted on the wall, the sound of the anchor’s voice lulling him into a state of calmness.

As he ate, Udai watched the people outside the convenience store going about their lives. A mother with her young child in tow, a couple holding hands and laughing, an elderly man shuffling slowly down the street. They were all so different yet so alike, all connected in their shared humanity.

Udai realized that even amidst the chaos of his life as a mangaka, he was not alone. He was just one of many people struggling to make his way in the world, to find meaning and purpose in his work.

His gaze was then shifted, wandering to the other side of the convenience store, and stopped when he caught sight of a line of hair tools neatly arranged on a shelf. His gaze stayed there for a long time as his mind wandered far away to a day before this.

“You know, your hair…”

Subconsciously, Udai was touching his hair when Tsubasa said that.

“They’re long,” Tsubasa continued, but now with a smile that followed right before she ended with, “very long.”

It’s not that he was unaware of his long hair. He knew and was well aware about it, and had deliberately let his hair grow longer ever since he was still in college.

His eyes may have shifted, but his mind remained. Until the end, it lingered in his memory of that day. Just briefly, passing by a giant mirror on one side of the convenience store, Udai briefly reflected on his reflection: to his long curls peeking out disheveled from his hoodie.

********************************************************

From : Akaashi Keiji

I have a meeting until 4pm. We’ll meet at dinner time. Meet me at restaurant X, I’ll pay.

To : Akaashi Keiji

Yoshaaa!!! >>,<< Take your time, Akaashi-san. I’ll wait. Good luck on the meeting!! ^^ Thank you for always working hard!! I’m always rooting for you!

That’s how Udai ended up meeting Akaashi at dinner at a restaurant somewhere in the bustling Shibuya.

Although he wasn’t late, Akaashi still came rushing up to Udai at the table and it seemed unfair that he was still as neat as he looked in the morning. Udai had a fleeting thought that he was using an illegal preservative to maintain his appearance for twelve hours.

“Good evening, Udai-san.”

“Evening, Akaashi-busy-san.”

Putting his bag on the other seat beside him, Akaashi glanced over at Udai, intrigued by his new nickname, as well as by the overly bright smile the artist wore on his face.

“Did something good happen, Udai-san?” Akaashi asked, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt slowly. His eyes greeted a waiter who came to bring them the menu before started scanning through the list.

Udai shook his head, his smile lingered, “You treating me to dinner is a good thing to be celebrated, Akaashi-san.”

“It’s nothing.” Akaashi said. He turned to the waiter and mentioned his order then shifted to Udai. “Just a small celebration since you worked hard for this volume and probably neglected yourself."

“Geh!” Udai grumbled, putting on a sour face before turning to the waiter to state his order.

While waiting for their order, Akaashi returned to be Udai’s editor, going over the latest manuscript for the 25th volume of Zomb’ish thoroughly.

Akaashi pointed out several areas where the story had been strengthened by Udai’s revisions, praising the character development and plot twists.

As they continued to talk, Udai began to understand how important Akaashi’s guidance was to his creative process. His editor challenged him to think more deeply about his characters, to push the boundaries of what was possible, to create stories that resonated with readers on a visceral level.

“That’s all from me.” Akaashi wrapped, head moving in small nods as his hand closed the manuscript.

Udai smiled, feeling moved to have survived the deadline once again... although this time he would have barely gotten anything done on target if Akaashi hadn’t given him a remission. The threat of the word hiatus was indeed the most effective threat when dealing with Udai and his trademark.

Immediately he changed his expression, acting tough and a little arrogant even though he was the one whining on the other end of the phone three days ago.

“I told you, right? I can finish this in time.”

“You said you’ll do in two days,” Akaashi corrected.

“Geh!” Udai put on a sour face again, grumbling to Akaashi who was drinking. “Anyway, I finished it on time.”

Akaashi hummed.

Udai sighed, “There are only three volumes left. Three more volumes and Zomb’ish will come to an end.”

Akaashi hummed, “Let’s focus on that.”

Udai nods, “That goes without saying! I’m really trying the best I can to end this. And hopefully at the end, it will be something interesting to discuss even if it’s just somewhere in class, or on some benches at a convenience store.”

Sipping his drink, Udai didn’t notice that Akaashi was watching him, almost as if studying him, until he finally said something.

“By the way, Udai-san,”

Distractedly, Udai turned to Akaashi.

“you tie your hair this time, I notice.”

Udai stopped, almost choking on his drink.

“An improvement.” Akaashi added, not caring how Udai was coughing.

The dinner came.

********************************************************

Udai walked slowly through his quiet neighborhood, still lost in thought from his dinner with Akaashi. His mind was a jumble of ideas and emotions, his heart heavy with the weight of endings and beginnings.

Then, he heard it. The unmistakable sound of people shouting and laughing, the distinct thud of a ball being hit back and forth.

He turned his head towards the source of the noise and saw a group of people playing volleyball on the outside court. He recognized them as his neighbors, people he had lived near for years but never really gotten to know.

It was then that the ball flew over the fence, landing at Udai’s feet. His reflexes kicked in, and he caught it effortlessly.

“Hey, nice catch!” one of the neighbors called out, his voice friendly and welcoming.

Udai felt the weight of the ball in his hand, the familiar texture of the leather and the sound it made as it hit his palm.

Suddenly, he was thrown back to his high school days, when volleyball was his entire world.

He remembered the tournaments, the countless hours of practice, the roar of the crowd as he scored the winning point. It was a time when he had felt invincible, and everything had seemed possible.

But now, as he stood there holding the ball, he knew that he was no longer that person. He knew he couldn’t go back to those carefree days, no matter how much he wished he could.

“Ano… Long-hair Nii-chan over there,”

Udai quickly looked up, realizing that he had been daydreaming for quite some time. His gaze wandered on the faces of the men gathered in their casual clothes in the middle of a field that he never even knew could be a friendly volleyball court for his neighbors.

“Can you play?”

“Huh?”

One of the guys with his hands resting on his waist, pointed to the ball he was holding, “Volleyball, I mean. Can you?”

Another question struck before Udai had enough time to think of an answer.

“Why don’t you come and play? It’s not that everyone here is a professional at volleyball. We’re just killing time by having some fun.” At the end, that person seemed to have noticed Udai for quite a while, “You’re from 1104, right?”

“Ah… Right.”

“Come join in.”

It was the weirdest correlation Udai had heard so far.

Udai did not give a definite answer as to whether he would join or not.

He approached the fence, and then he tossed the ball back over. One of the neighbors caught it expertly, grinning back at Udai.

“You’re joining in?”

With a polite smile, Udai politely declined the invitation.

“I’m sorry,” he said, bowing slightly as he turned, leaving the court. Those people sending him with whispers, probably questioning what made him not want to join.

His feelings about volleyball remained the same to this day. Even after committing to leave that world for a new life, letting his dreams be buried somewhere in that spring, he still loved everything about volleyball. But even so, that didn’t mean he would allow himself to return to the path he had once left behind.

“Do you still play volleyball?” She asked.

“I don’t have much track of you since high school. The last thing I remember was The Spring Tournament.”

Udai felt guilt consume him at the memory. He had been a part of the team that had lost in the tournament, and he had let everyone down.

“Ah… It’s not that I am expecting to know such things about you. Just curious.”

Udai looked at her, eyes holding so many untold emotions.

“… Is the little giant still going on to the court sometimes to answer his nature— well… something like that.”

“Right… That Spring Tournament was the last, huh?”

He had quit volleyball soon after high school, unable to face the shame of his failure.

His smile unfolded, neither bitter nor regretful. Not even a speck of guilt about the past he had left behind, just an acceptance of the reality inside his panel.

“I quit.”

For a moment, in this very panel, the world stopped. All sound faded from his senses, consumed by her beat and the ticking of the seconds that clashed noisily during the silence break filling in.

On the other side, he didn’t know what Tsubasa would say, nor did he insist on knowing what she was thinking. What was clear, what he could probably have guessed, was that she would be surprised. Of all the people who knew more or less about Udai’s world nine years ago, Tsubasa was the one who was close to all traces that volleyball was the air to Udai.

I quit, to Tsubasa’s terms, might as well have been sad news.

“Ah... So…”

Udai didn’t let his smile fade when he returned to Tsubasa. There was sadness in her eyes, perhaps another face of disappointment she was trying to hide, or concern. Being a person who knows so much about the past can indeed be quite troublesome, just like Tsubasa.

“I decided to quit after high school.”

“Really?”

Udai hummed.

Then the words came, a little emotional, “Then I might have missed something…”

He had never said anything about quitting before. Guilt joined in, embracing him softly.

“Ah… Ah!” He saw Tsubasa immediately shake her head, trying to change this conversation to another direction, “I didn’t mean anything! After all, a crucial decision about the future is supposed to be a secret. And also... uhm... being a successful volleyball player or a successful mangaka... both suit you, Udai-san.”

“Right?”

He probably won’t play again.

.

.

.

Miyagi Prefecture, Nine Years Ago

The match against Ouginishi High School had been tough but exhilarating. The past few days had been a grueling schedule of training and preparation, but it all paid off when they secured a hard-earned victory. Back at the school gym, the team’s mood was light and celebratory. There were high-fives all around and pats on the back, as they relished in their success together.

Udai’s wrist was doing all good and fine, surprisingly. Days of physical training must have strengthened his body, making it more resilient to injuries. He even played in the match, despite the earlier concerns about his wrist. The adrenaline rush of the game had temporarily erased all of his worries and discomfort, leaving only the pure joy of the sport itself.

On the break time, Udai sat down on the bench while the other members chatted around him. He was staring out into space when his coach, Ukai Ikkei, approached him.

“Coach,” he greeted, bowing his head slightly.

Ukai Ikkei hummed. Both hands folded in front of his chest, he asked, not bothering to look at the boy. “How’s your wrist doing?”

“It’s alright.” Udai answered, politeness wrapping his words.

Then there was silence for some time. Udai felt he was being watched, being studied, but didn’t dare to ask anything. He let the silence join in until it was convenient, or until whenever his coach would say something. And what came to him, was a question that was relatively strange in his terms.

"Do you still love volleyball, Tenma?” asked Ukai.

The question caught Udai off-guard; he wasn’t sure how to answer.

Not about how indecisive she was about whether she still loved volleyball or not, but that the question was really strange.

Did he still love volleyball, even after all the obstacles and challenges he had faced? After all the doubts and criticisms that were hurled his way?

That goes without saying.

Otherwise, how would he still be here today?

True, his passion for volleyball all started with a desire to challenge this world’s unfairness towards him. However, volleyball in all his senses, will not end there. He has vowed to fly high bringing all his dreams with this little body of his. No matter whether he is the smallest, whether he is the shortest, he will fly.

“I do, Coach,” Udai replied, “I really do.”

There was a brief pause, as the coach studied him closely. The older man had always been stern and strict, but Udai could see a glint of understanding in his eyes.

“And do you love the volleyball you’re doing now?”

Udai furrowed his brows at the question, unsure of what the coach meant. Was there a different way to play volleyball that he was missing? A different kind of joy he could be experiencing?

“Could you explain what you mean by that?”

Ukai raised an eyebrow, before sighing in exasperation. “Tenma, you are one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met. You want to prove yourself, to break through the limits that others impose on you.”

Udai opened his mouth to retort, but the coach cut him off.

“Sometimes, in your pursuit of greatness, you forget to enjoy the journey itself. You forget to savor every little moment, every swing of the ball, every connection with your teammates.” Ukai paused, as if giving Udai a break to take everything in.

“Volleyball is a sport that requires resilience, focus, and strategy, yes. But it’s also a sport that requires heart.”

Udai was thinking of answers to everything his coach said when his coach came up with a dozen more.

“If you like the volleyball that you’re playing now, what are you planning to do with it? Do you see a future of you doing it well like you did today? And when one day it comes to you to decide, are you willing to abandon anything else to make a life out of it?”

Udai was taken aback by the question. He had never really thought about it before.

“Do you like volleyball?”

Same question, different person asking. On that day, it was Sasaki Tsubasa, despite being busy wrapping his wrist with an elastic bandage that dear life, did it suppose to be taking this long, though?

It was a simple question, but it sparked a thought that had been long buried under his daily routine of practicing, going to school, and working on his manga.

“Why are you asking?” Udai replied, trying not to sound too defensive.

Tsubasa shrugged. “Just asking.” She said, with a glimpse of a smile.

He said nothing, waiting for her to say something, also thinking of an adequate answer to her question.

He heard her again, “Udai-san… you’re always enjoying the game on each of your plays.”

Udai did not know the nature of this oddness in his stomach when he heard her praising him. Honestly, just being here for this long, for a random conversation alone was a miracle.

“This question may sound silly, but you know, most people do sports because they simply can or they have to because they were born with a talent that cannot be wasted. So slowly, they neglect the little things like whether they like it or not. And... I think that, whether it’s a sport or an art, it’ll be more enjoyable if you like it in the first place.”

He remembered that day. The day he saw a match between the Japanese national team and the Brazilian national team in one of the world volleyball championships. It was then that the word love in volleyball in his term was growing, leading him to a dream where he could be one of them.

He remembered the first time he picked up a volleyball. It was during a PE class in middle school, and he had been the smallest kid in the class. Everyone laughed as he struggled to hit the ball over the net, his short stature making it almost impossible.

But something inside him had refused to give up. He had never been one to back down from a challenge, no matter how unfair it seemed.

Even if the world refuses to give fairness to his situation, Udai will be the last one to give up. He will make sure to reach his dreams with his small hands, with his short feet. With this body, he will embrace all his weaknesses and bring fairness to his dreams.

And so, he continued to play volleyball throughout middle and high school, earning a reputation as a talented and dedicated player.

“I do,” he finally replied, missing that Tsubasa had finished wrapping his hand with the elastic bandage. “I do. More than anything else.”

He even thought for a second that he probably likes playing volleyball more than studying, or even drawing.

“That’s not surprising.” She said, almost chuckling.

“Yeah, really,” Udai replied, unaware that he was smiling.

Tsubasa watched him, curious. “And why volleyball?”

“I remember watching a volleyball game when I was in middle school, and I was struck by how fast-paced and exciting it was.”

“So, you’ve been playing ever since?”

“I only started practicing ever since then, but guess I’ve never looked back.”

Tsubasa hummed, listening to him with keen interest.

“I know most people thought that I might be crazy for even daring to dream that I could fit into a team. For my height, it’s like hoping for something impossible. I used to always think that the world is unfair. But just like that, if I keep thinking how unfair this world is, nothing will happen. If I waste my time thinking about it, how would I have time to change my situation? I would have no time to bring the fairness that I deserve. So I stopped thinking, I stopped listening, and started to move my feet towards my goal.”

He knew he appeared aloof and detached during practice, but it was just his way of doing it.

Volleyball was his passion, his ambition. It was the one thing he was good at, the only thing he felt he had complete control over in his life.

“I love volleyball,” he said, his voice softening. “It’s the one thing I’m good at, the one thing that makes me feel alive. When I’m on the court, everything else fades away, and all that matters is the ball and the game.”

Tsubasa looked at him with admiration, “That’s amazing! It’s like volleyball saved you!”

Returning, he saw Tsubasa staring at him, her eyes gleaming with admiration, so bright. Something that he missed while he was talking. He blushed, flustered and immediately looked away.

“No… not really…” he mumbles.

Beside him, Tsubasa muttered with raised eyebrows. Then, she said, “I’m done, Senpai.”

Only then did Udai realize that his wrist had been neatly wrapped in an elastic bandage. He glanced at Tsubasa, momentarily peering at how she was tidying up the things she had previously taken from the plastic bag.

He brought his gaze to her face, but he was too shy, so just when he was able to capture a glimpse of her face, he quickly shifted. The idea of thanking her directly while looking at her might be too much.

He muttered, “Thank you.”

Udai missed how Tsubasa turned her head, “Ah, no need to say something like that. I should be the one saying my apology to you. It’s only fair because you technically hurt yourself in order to save me— ah! but, yeah, I know you don’t regret it. Sorry, sorry.”

There was nothing until Tsubasa finally excused herself. During that time, Udai’s gaze was drawn to the elastic bandage wrapping his wrist.

Right. He didn’t know her name yet, did he?

“You…”

Tsubasa turned her head, by which time Udai had gotten comfortable enough to look at her.

“What is your name?”

Tsubasa’s brow pulled upwards. Right. It must have seemed ridiculous to get a question like that after some encounter.

Udai wanted to say something, but was immediately preceded. “Ah? So, I’ve never introduced myself all this time? Oh! My bad, Senpai!”

Well... that was true.

Tsubasa then looked at him, “Tsubasa. Sasaki Tsubasa.”

Tsubasa. Wings.

“Tsubasa,”

Tsubasa smiled, “That’s my name.”

********************************************************

The next day, morning practice began as usual at seven o’clock. They started with stretches, a lap around the court, then some light sprints in pairs until thirty minutes before class started.

Udai’s world was small. It revolved around volleyball, classes, and the sheets he was trying to fill with something that often rang loudly in his head when the world was dead.

Truly, Udai was comfortable with what went on in his panel. He even thought that henceforth, he would be fine if his routine stayed like that in this monotonous panel.

Waking up early for a jog before school, morning practice, attending class or skipping class, interspersing his worldly breaks with drawing, returning to the court for another practice session and then ending the day with dinner and rest—at least, it lasts exactly as monotonous as that until the last few weeks. Until suddenly, fate threw something into this panel.

As if he didn’t want this panel to be stuck in a monotonous revolution, fate connected his way to an intersection where he could meet her. And as if fate were a skilled embroiderer, it has been splicing encounters between him and Tsubasa persistently over the past few weeks.

This morning after his morning practice with the club, as he was stopping by the vending machine to buy some milk, he ran into her. However, Tsubasa was not alone. With her, was a glasses-girl he didn’t know.

Tsubasa greeted him, and Udai awkwardly greeted back. While waiting for his milk to come out, Udai turned to Tsubasa who had just greeted him.

“Did you just come out of the gymnasium, Senpai?”

He hummed.

“Oh... So the team also has a morning training session, I suppose!”

He hummed again, then bent down to get his milk. He heard Tsubasa’s friend in a small whisper asking about him, about how she knew a Senpai, and Tsubasa’s answer was enough: I just happen to know him.

Right. They just happen to know each other because some accidents occured.

Udai turned to Tsubasa, briefly asking her if she wanted to get some milk or another thing. Twas it, and he walked away after getting her answer. Don’t blame him, he was never really good at communicating.

The next day, he saw her again in the corridor. She was carrying a pile of papers with her class rep, heading to the teacher’s room. And he started to wonder why none of the boys in her class would help her... Well, in his class, even a loner like Udai, would sometimes be told to do something such as carrying some sports equipment or some piling exam papers.

In that encounter, Tsubasa still graciously displayed her friendly smile to him. Her head was bowed to greet him as they passed each other before she returned to the girl beside her, responding to something she told her before.

“Eeeeh!? Really?”

“Really!”

“Then, I should try that too, I suppose!”

“Try it, Sasaki!”

“Do you think so, too?”

Her tone was bright, excited.

And then, at the end of the week, he saw her while playing baseball with her class. She looked so free and radiant, the sun shining on her hair and the wind carrying her laughter and screams.

On that day, fate was a mangaka.

In this small panel where his world and Tsubasa’s collided, when he was introduced to Tsubasa’s laughter for the first time, he was introduced to an oddness. And like a reader who will diligently explore each panel, he gave in.

From then on, he couldn’t get back.

—

[hellobunny044]

Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

********************************************************

an original Haikyu AU pairing Udai Tenma (the og little giant

warning!!: containing some manga content.

word count: 6937

********************************************************

Panel - 6

Tokyo, Present Day

A coincidence to be thanked for... or is it more to be cursed at? Along the way, Udai only thought about that.

It was not that he regretted that of all the things that could have happened to him he had to meet Tsubasa. It was precisely because it was Tsubasa of all people that Udai wavered between cursing or thanking this coincidence. Really, of all the things that could have happened, why did it have to be another encounter with her? Of all people, why her?

But even so, there he was, and ended up following Tsubasa in her lunch.

When she asked about lunch, Udai honestly said that he had already had his lunch. But even after that, Tsubasa still asked him to join her. She said it was to repay him for the other day.

What made Udai so pissed off about it, was that he didn’t refuse the offer at all. A part of him was reluctant to leave, greedy to grasp this opportunity, greedy that he would have time to be with her again even if it was just to be there.

Time is cruel.

So is the fate.

In this panel, fate, in all its cruelty, has drawn little lines to bring to life a new story between him and Tsubasa, the last thing he wanted to happen.

Of all things, does he, who once deliberately walked away from the panel where they used to be connected, deserve to be here?

Even if fate eventually let Tsubasa decide, Udai hoped that this time, she would be the one to walk away.

But...

Damn. Even nine years couldn’t change anything about how comfortably warm it was when he was around her. It felt safe, soothing. Cruel.

“Udai-san, you will order dessert, right?”

Udai only answers with a hum.

“The Hokkaido cheesecake here is famous for being very good. How about that? Is that enough?”

And another.

The glimpse of what he was looking at was his first love. Sasaki Tsubasa, whom he remembered as the girl who completed the story of each panel in his youth with her presence. She was the one who brought an unforgettable blush of pink into the panels of his youth that had been dulled with dreary, static colors.

Sasaki Tsubasa, who nine years ago looked like a typical high schooler, now looks like a well-developed adult woman. She was beautiful, seemed competent in her work that he forgot to ask before. Then like any other mature woman, she wore just enough makeup with colors that only added to her beauty like magic, high heels that had a unique beat every time she walked. In truth, the high school girl of his first love had completely disappeared from what he could catch of her. But from her eyes, her voice, the atmosphere she brought with her, it was all Sasaki Tsubasa, his first love.

Sitting before her, it was like waiting for a big wave that carried all the memories of his youth to wash him away. The very first encounter, the confession, the first date, the first kiss, all the things that Udai first tasted in a dozen years of being a whole human being, were spent with Tsubasa. It was also about the first big mistake he made, the first regret, the first heartbreak. This very woman before him had it all packed with her.

Facing her, Udai felt helpless amidst the rushing of emotion that filled all his senses.

He shouldn’t have come back, he repeated mentally many times.

He doesn’t deserve to come back, he repeated.

“Udai-san wa—”

His reverie was over and the world returned to what was before him.

“— are you going to be quiet-for-some-time-before-you-finally-speak too this time?”

Her eyes were on him, looking at him kindly. Still like the old days, she still feels so near, really. Udai almost forgot that she was waiting for her answer.

“Are you really okay with the dessert we ordered earlier?”

“Hm?”

“You just answered it so casually when I told you the menu… like you somehow didn’t even mean answering the question. It made me think that maybe I was too pushy that you didn’t have time to decide or even consider.”

“No. I’m fine.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Finally, Tsubasa was convinced and stopped.

“Okay then.”

Udai actually wasn’t so sure that he was good enough at small talk. However, Tsubasa had insinuated it. Throwing a sign that he should talk. At the very least, asking something about the weather perhaps?

“It’s pretty sunny today, don’t you think?”

He was stupid.

Tsubasa’s gaze still trapped him, leading him further into the abyss of awkwardness. For real, what’s the point of saying clichéd things about the weather? What century is this?

To his surprise, a smile spread across Tsubasa’s face. Amusing. This time, it was Tsubasa who had the nerve to answer. Then she looked out the window to make sure.

“Sunny and hot,” she added.

They were seated at a table in a row near the transparent window that gave them closer access to the streets surrounding the restaurant.

Udai caught a faint smile that she rolled back before Tsubasa turned back to him. “But the summer is coming to an end.”

That smile was different from what he saw after she returned. Maybe it was just in his head, but there was something there that he shouldn’t have caught.

“You’re still so picky about the seasons?”

Tsubasa’s question was followed by a huffing laugh. Amusing. Like mocking, but a little more polite than that.

“I thought, as years passed, you might have matured a bit.”

Simply put, Udai did not like summer very much. The only thing he liked about summer was that during that time, they would get a holiday. And Tsubasa remembered that. Oh, he forgot to add one thing. Eight years ago, he loved his summer and everything that revolved around it.

“Well... summer is… hot.”

Tsubasa stormed off after that, “That goes without saying! Where is there a cold summer?”

There is. Sometime during the summer of eight years ago, when you were there. At least, even though it wasn’t cold, with you around, things became a little more refreshing. “Right.”

Tsubasa sighed, her smile staying. Amused at the fact that Udai still didn’t get along with summer. Deep down inside however, in a part of him that he was trying to avoid, Udai wished that the reason her smile still remained was because he was still the same.

“What about you, Sasaki?”

In the past, he could just casually call her given name. Tsubasa.

Now... well... It’s the little things like this that give connection its essence. That, one day when you’re parting ways, you’ll go back to the time when everything was back to scratch, and that all the time that was drained away back then, can never come back no matter how desperately you reach for it. That, from the pain it brings when you look back, will make you realize that in the future where you stand, it will never again involve the person you used to always involve in the first place.

In the panel where her world evolved, Tsubasa no longer involves Udai like she used to. And Udai, in a different panel where his world runs, had long ago deliberately closed off the path to involving her as well.

It was all his fault, he knew. Just like he knew that Tsubasa liked summer, unlike him.

“Do you still like summer?”

“Sure.” Her answer came smoothly without losing a single beat. Her smile was still, her gaze steady.

In contrast to Udai, Tsubasa loved the summer. Udai still remembered why. She liked summer because the days would last longer than in the other seasons, the sky would look bluer, brighter than usual, and she said, the scent of the earth would be more sniffable — that was surely an odd one. Udai couldn’t remember if he had any memory of Tsubasa being so melancholy about such things, but she did.

Udai also remembers the winter being her least favorite season. The reason was simple: it was cold. Well... you don’t get warm winters anywhere in the world. He still remembered about Tsubasa who didn’t like her hands getting cold, didn’t like padding, and especially about her always losing her hot pack almost every five minutes. Seriously, though. Udai had to stop thinking before he fell into a forbidden desire and said something nonsense.

Soon after that he changed the subject. This time, however, he started over quite nicely.

“You work around here?”

He didn’t know if it was just in his mind, but for a moment, Tsubasa looked lost. Her answer was also a little off, a nod. However, she soon smiled. An answer followed shortly after,“Yes.”

Udai nodded his head. “Close around?”

“Ten minutes by walking.”

“Oh?”

“I often have lunch here.”

Exactly what she wanted to ask.

“Are you stopping by the Weekly Shonen office?” Tsubasa asked back.

“Oh? Yes.” Udai nodded.

Humming, Tsubasa added a new question, “Dropping off the latest volume’s manuscript?” She quickly continued after that, “Or perhaps something else?”

“The first one. Yes. I have a little business related to manuscripts and publishing.”

Tsubasa responded with a hum while nodding slightly.

Seconds rolled by, slowly but surely. Between them, silence slowly settled in. However, Udai did not let it linger too long as he continued their little question and answer session.

“Are you on your lunch break?”

Stupid. Of course She is. What do you think she was doing here?

“As you can see,” Tsubasa smiled as she replied. “I guess you’re not too familiar with the strict schedules and rules of office workers like me.”

“Hm?”

Tsubasa chuckled, “You work and rest on your own accord, right? Even if for example you’re in a high demand zone this month, and the sketching of the latest volume of your manga is only given a month or two, you still have a higher level of flexibility in your working hours. You don’t have to deal with anything about long and hectic working hours or relatively little break time. You can rest all day or work all night to your heart’s content—”

Udai raised his eyebrows when Tsubasa suddenly stopped midway.

“Ah? Sorry! I didn’t mean to say anything about your work. I’ve talked too much.”

Confused, Udai quickly searched for something to say in response. “U-uh? No. It’s alright. It’s not that you said anything disrespectful about my work here.”

“I said everything as if I understood everything.” Tsubasa sighed, almost wincing. “Sorry for being rude.”

“Hm. No problem.”

The atmosphere returned to silence. The awkwardness returned between them. After seconds spent wondering what to talk to Tsubasa about next, the atmosphere was thawed by something Tsubasa said.

“You... haven’t asked about my work, Udai-san.”

“Huh?”

He remembered that he had never asked her anything about her work. But it wasn’t because he forgot or didn’t want to know about it, but rather realized that it was something too silly to ask, not to mention rude.

Udai wanted to know about her job like how she knew that he was a manga artist from one of the best-selling manga series. He wanted to know what office work she was referring to, like how she knew that if he came to the Weekly Shonen office, it meant that he had some business related to manuscripts and publishing. He wanted to know what time she worked and what time she would end, like how she knew that he had much more flexible working hours than she did. He wanted to know all that, so he was showered with guilt for being too inquisitive.

What was more surprising, however, was that Tsubasa suggested that he ask. It was as if she was giving him a way to satisfy all the questions piling up in his head.

“O-oh... well... Um... Yeah.”

“You should have asked that from the start. There was no need to be reluctant.”

Tsubasa paused, chuckling slightly, “Your face says it all.”

Everything? Even about the way I was overwhelmed when you were there and smiling like that, Tsubasa? Lie to me, please lie to me. Don’t let my hopes grow bigger for something I shouldn’t wish for. This is a catastrophe, especially for Tsubasa. Of all the people she should not have invited into her world, Udai should have been the first one she should have avoided. Of all the people who didn’t deserve half of her time, it was Udai who had the opportunity to sit with her today. He should really stop. You should stop before I break your heart again.

Their talk was interrupted by the lunch that had joined them on the table. For a moment, their worlds were distracted by the smell of the menu. Tsubasa ordered the main course, while Udai got the dessert that Tsubasa recommended. The Hokkaido Cheesecake.

For a moment, he wondered if all stores that served this menu really baked the cheesecake in a water bath or if there was another way to replace that process while maintaining the quality of the taste?

It was a silly pondering that would lead him nowhere. Not to find new inspiration for his manga, nor to take him away from the awkwardness that clung in between to fill the space between him and Tsubasa.

“Have a good meal!”

“Have… a… good meal.”

Really, everything was still the same.

The way she enjoyed her food, her little habits, everything seemed to be something pulled from every shard of his memory of her.

“Too bad you already had lunch before,” Tsubasa said between pauses, drawing Udai’s gaze back to her, “otherwise, you could try this menu for lunch. They sell this very well every day. It’s very delicious.”

But perhaps, Udai would prefer it this way.

“Next time, I guess,” Tsubasa said, not quietly and not reluctantly. But Udai didn’t miss how her fingers gripped the spoon a little tighter. Her smile came, a friendly greeting before what she was about to say followed. “You can invite someone to come here and make sure to order this.”

Subconsciously, Udai chuckled. “If I had time for something like that.”

Catching a gyoza with her chopsticks, Tsubasa muttered, “Right?”

Then, Tsubasa continued, “But you know... rather than about having or not having time, you can spare a little of your time, right?”

Udai stopped. No, the world stopped. Or, no, he stopped. His gaze was fixed on Tsubasa who slowly widened her eyes. Just as Udai was stunned by her words, it was either he was delusional or, Tsubasa looked more surprised than anyone else.

“Ah- I didn’t mean to—”

“No—”

“Really, I’m really sorry.”

There you go. Sasaki Tsubasa was still Sasaki Tsubasa at the end of the day. She looked down, her palms closing in front of her furrowed brow.

“It’s alright.”

Tsubasa sighed and immediately raised her head. “The weather must have made me think of all sorts of things. Again, sorry for being presumptuous.”

“Hm. It doesn’t matter. After all, some of what you said is true. But in my case, not only do I have no time, I also don’t have a special person that I have to set aside time for in particular.”

Udai did not know that she would say that much before she finally reached the end of her sentence.

“Oh?”

Yes, he was a freak.

Awkwardness crawled over every inch of his skin. Quickly wanting to get out of the awkward embrace before it clung even tighter, Udai racked his brain for something better to talk about. Staying there was not going to get him anywhere.

“Speaking of the work,” in a split-second pause, his brain spun faster to think of how to phrase the question a little more politely, “about your work…”

“Ah?”

Udai echoed Tsubasa’s nod, automatically following along as if it had been programmed.

“Ah, yes. I work for a startup company that specializes in IT,” Tsubasa then mentioned the name of the company.

“Ah? It’s that one, huh?”

“Right,” Tsubasa smiled.

“Ah, right. If I’m not mistaken, I saw the company building with their logo around here.”

“You know about our company?”

“Well… Yes, it was the talk of the town in the newspapers and on television.”

“Right?” Tsubasa’s smile expanded, sweet and pleasant.

Distracting himself from Tsubasa’s smile—as well as from the tightness in his chest—Udai quickly changed the subject, “How long have you been in Tokyo?”

“Almost three years.”

“Ah? Three years?”

Tsubasa hummed. “Um… Udai-san, I’ve been meaning to say this for a while,”

Udai paused, both eyebrows raised in anticipation of Tsubasa’s words, “Hm?”

“When I first met you…” Udai almost mistakenly thought Tsubasa was talking about the past if she didn’t immediately continue, “the other day on the mall, I barely recognized you.”

“Hm?”

“You know, your hair…”

Subconsciously, Udai immediately touched his hair when Tsubasa said that.

“They’re long,” Tsubasa continued, but now with a smile that followed right before she ended with, “very long.”

Suddenly, Udai was very worried about how he would look. Would he look like a beggar rather than the manga artist that he is, or would he look pathetic or weird with long hair. Tsubasa’s smile was sweet and pleasant, but it also brought out the nervousness in him. Was that pleasant smile really pleasant or pleasant in another sense…

Subconsciously, Udai had brought his hand to tidy up his hair a little. Nothing significant, just tucking the strands that almost covered his frame behind his ears.

He swore it was just a little, until he finally realized that he was paying too much attention to his appearance when, before him, Tsubasa was taking point about that. Something in her eyes quickly went away after he peeked there, quickly replaced with the sparkle of a pleasant smile that came as soon as she returned.

“I’ve noticed your hair since our first encounter,” Tsubasa continued, “but it seemed rude to say anything about it then. And I also wondered, even though summer is almost over, if you were okay with your hair being long— which of course you don’t have to think about.”

Tsubasa refocused on her lunch.

“Ah right, your friend the other day,”

Although of all the things he wanted to talk about, this was the last one, Udai had run out of topics.

Tsubasa looked back at him, a look of confusion.

“Your coworker,” Udai continued, followed by an understanding response from Tsubasa.

“Ah! Yes. Hatakeyama.” Tsubasa nodded, distractedly looking at Udai.

“You guys didn’t have lunch together?”

“No.” Tsubasa immediately followed with something that made Udai regret asking. “We usually have lunch together, but today he has some business with the deputy. It might take a while for him to join me.”

“Ah…”

Ten, no, a thousand times better if he didn’t ask.

“Hatakeyama,” Tsubasa continued, “he’s been at the company longer than I have. He had been working for almost a year when I joined. In a way, I’m basically his Kohai.”

Udai forced himself to smile, echoing Tsubasa’s smile that came afterward.

“Could it be because of that? Sometimes he really treats me like his subordinate and is all bossy, so annoying! Sometimes, he acts like a dictator too. But in his work, Hatakeyama is very reliable.” At the end of her sentence while expressing Hatakeyama, Tsubasa smiled. Udai knew that he had lost every right to feel uncomfortable when Tsubasa said something about another man, but it still felt unpleasant.

“Hatakeyama is truly a reliable Senpai—”

The world stopped right there.

Udai had noticed that before, about how in between the main course that she ordered were small pieces of octopus. He still remembered everything about Tsubasa, including that she had a severe octopus allergy. He also remembers that despite having a severe octopus allergy, Tsubasa sometimes forgets that she can’t eat octopus.

Now, she almost caught a small piece of octopus meat with her chopsticks. But with Udai there, who was quite thorough about it all, Tsubasa stopped.

Udai was holding her arm, gently gripping it to stop her.

“Octopus,” he muttered, “you... have allergy.”

“... hm?”

“You should have picked all the octopus aside before eating.”

For a moment, there was silence. Their hands were still touching each other. Only then, when Tsubasa said something, did Udai finally, immediately pull away, chest heavy.

“Oh? Octopus!”

Tsubasa’s gaze turned to her lunch. She sighed, “I almost got into big trouble,” she muttered, still inaudible, “you idiot!”

Then there was silence again. Udai and Tsubasa were both still working to process what was happening. Between the two of them, however, Udai was diligently outlining what had happened.

First, their hands touched at the most unexpected time. Her skin was soft and slightly moist, lotioned. Udai wondered if the scent of her lotion today would be the same as it was nine years ago—

Secondly, about the octopus that was always there while she was having her lunch like this, would Hatakeyama get rid of it all for her before she ate? He seemed to be so diligent to ruin his own mood.

Thirdly, it was either he was hallucinating or Tsubasa didn’t want to pull away. As his world came to a halt, he wondered if the same thing was happening to Tsubasa... or if she was really reluctant to break away—

“Udai-san,”

“Huh? A-ah, Yes?”

“Thank you for paying attention,”

It took Udai longer to take that one in. Her words were ambiguous.

“though I’m usually confident enough to eat by myself because I can handle things like this... well... maybe I forgot that I should have taken out all the octopus pieces first before eating.”

Udai only gave a short response.

“I’m surprised you could see that it was octopus.”

“Well... I just looked pretty well.”

“Is that so?”

“Well…”

“I thought you’d actually have problems with your eyesight because... you know what I mean... your job requires you to be awake in front of a computer for long periods of time— ah! But of course not always, right?”

“Hm. But you’re right about the staying-awake-in-front-of-the-computer-for-a-long-period-of-time part.”

“And?”

Udai shrugged, “Maybe... just not yet?”

Tsubasa frowned, her laughter following. Udai couldn’t help but smile, not when before him, Tsubasa was laughing so pleasantly.

“Please... are you really looking forward to when your eyesight gets bad because of your job?”

“Ah— of course not with the looking forward part. That would be a bit inconvenient.”

“Right?” Tsubasa sighed, “You always talk carelessly, Udai-san.”

Udai just laughed softly under his breath.

Tsubasa returned with a faint smile in her words after that, “I’m surprised you still remember.”

This meeting had been disastrous.

Udai’s smile faded. The amusing curve lost its glow, replaced with a pain laced with awkwardness.

“Thank you.”

Being there would not be good for him. If he stayed there, Udai would fall into a pit of hope. However, suddenly leaving would certainly not be polite. Perhaps, stepping away for a while would do.

“Hm.”

Udai mustered the courage—and honestly, the will—to excuse himself. “Excuse me a moment,” his hand awkwardly gestured in whatever direction was behind him, “I— the toilet.”

Tsubasa nodded. “Hm. You may go.” In fact, there was another smile after that.

********************************************************

By the time he reached the restroom, the roar of water rushing from the faucet couldn’t even distract Udai’s world from his fast-roaming mind processing everything that was happening.

Truly, this encounter was a catastrophe.

Udai had no intention of thinking of Tsubasa as a catastrophe in his terms, however, her being there right now threatened to make him greedy and of all things, that was the worst that could happen.

Has it been eight years? Since the last time he saw Tsubasa, since the last time their panels connected almost as if they were melting into each other. Since then, since the moment Udai had decided to be the first to walk away and move on to a new panel without taking his feelings for Tsubasa, it was over. As for the two of them, they had already lost.

Rather than keeping Sasaki Tsubasa who had been like the sun against his eternal winter, Udai decided to elevate his ego. He was too proud to turn back, to simply admit that he was wrong. Or... to admit that he couldn’t if she wasn’t around.

At times like this, when time seemed to stand still on his watch, Udai couldn’t help thinking that if only he had stopped that day... but, for now, it was too late.

Staring at his reflection in the mirror, Udai returned to the flashing of memories that passed quickly.

“If I keep thinking back like this, and the same thing happens to her, what makes me think that she was alright?”

He had decided that his greed should not go beyond this. And at the very least, after this, he should apologize for everything and then disappear.

Udai washed his hands, washed his face and shifted his gaze to his reflection in the mirror. He was silent for a long time, wandering back to what Tsubasa had said earlier. Something about his long hair.

With his hands still wet, Udai smoothed his hair a little. At the very least, if he was prepared with a meaningless apology, he should at least try to look a little better, right?

********************************************************

Returning, Udai stopped at the end of a table when he saw a familiar man join Tsubasa. Hatakeyama Jiro.

Hatakeyama Jiro. Itachiyama High graduate. Tsubasa’s coworker who had been working for almost a year when Tsubasa joined the company. And lastly, Hatakeyama is a reliable Senpai, she said. Oh, that last one is very helpful.

From where he stood, Udai, who was watching the interaction between those two, underlined a few things about Hatakeyama Jiro from his perspective: Unlike him who came in with a t-shirt and disheveled hair, Hatakeyama Jiro was neat in a shirt and a fine necktie even though their blazers were both black. His hair was neat, showing the dignity of a senior office worker.

He looked like a very dependable man.

Although Tsubasa found him annoying at times, he was warm to her. From the last time, the way he spoke to Tsubasa showed how familiar he was in Tsubasa’s terms.

Tsubasa smiled happily at something he said, then their hands met for a playful high five. Not to mention afterwards their fingers intertwined to celebrate whatever it was. Maybe it was just as he thought.

For a moment, Udai thought about leaving. He thought, even if he left after that, Tsubasa would no longer look for him if her lover was right there. But... he didn’t want to leave.

Tsubasa was smiling.

Was he greedy if he wanted to be there to share that smile? Even if this was the last time, was he too greedy?

Udai finally had an excuse to come back because he forgot his bag. Hopefully that would be a reasonable excuse.

“Oh? It’s Tsubasa-no-Senpai-san!”

“Oh? Udai-san, You’re back?”

Hatakeyama Jiro’s voice was the first to greet him, then Tsubasa followed. Udai answered them both with a hum.

One other thing he also underlined was that they were sitting separately. At a time like this, he should be sitting on... Hatakeyama Jiro’s side, right?

“Sasaki, move aside.”

“Hm?”

“You have no manners, do you? Are you planning to let your Senpai stand there?”

“A-ah... O-oh... Okay.”

Udai knew that Tsubasa moving aside was a sign for him to join her there, but he just didn’t expect that even now, he would have to sit side by side with her. Seriously? He was even convinced to immediately exclude himself from this panel, convinced that he would be the disrupter of Tsubasa and Hatakeyama Jiro’s lunch.

What after this?

It was quiet after Udai sat down next to Tsubasa until he heard Hatakeyama Jiro say something until after he finished ordering.

“It’s good to see you here again, Udai-san.”

“Hm. Me too.”

“Did Sasaki force you to join?”

Beside Udai, Tsubasa almost choked at Hatakeyama Jiro’s question.

“You really forced him to join?” Hatakeyama Jiro’s gaze turned to Tsubasa. His hand preceded Udai’s intention to shift the drink to Tsubasa. Despite his words, teasing, his actions spoke of all things considerate. Shifting the drink, handing her a tissue, and something about 'there, there. Drink slowly or you’ll choke again'.

Oh, he regretted coming back.

“— I- invited him to join to pay for the other day, you know! Besides, I didn’t force him to join.”

“Oh? Is that so?”

“Of course!”

Tsubasa sighed. She turned to Udai-who was scratching his head about the best way to leave this place right now— and said, “Earlier you asked about Hatakeyama. He made it to join me for lunch, I suppose?”

“Ah…”

“Oh? Udai-san asked about me?”

Welcoming Hatakeyama Jiro’s gaze that turned to him, Udai tried to smile despite having to force himself.

“Hm. He just asked why you didn’t come to lunch.” Tsubasa answered on Udai’s behalf, “Then I said you had business.”

Returning from Tsubasa, Hatakeyama Jiro added, “Yes. I had a little business before. Well, this kid is not so reliable—”

“Hey!”

“— so I have more responsibility to do this and that.”

“What are you talking about? I’m doing my part just fine!” Tsubasa fumed, almost throwing the chopsticks at Hatakeyama.

Hatakeyama sneered after hearing Tsubasa’s self-defense.

Udai didn’t feel like he belonged here. Rather than witness this lovely interaction between two lovers flirting with each other, he would a thousand times prefer to listen to Akaashi’s thundering critiques in the office. He regretted, truly regretted coming back instead of leaving when he had the chance.

“Say, Udai-san,” Hatakeyama Jiro’s call surprised him.

“Huh?”

“Was Sasaki really this annoying back in high school?”

“Huh?”

“Ha? Why do you ask such things, Hatakeyama?”

“Say, Udai-san, has she been this childish since then?”

“Huh?”

“Hatakeyama—”

“Ah, right. Udai-san is your Senpai, there’s no way he’ll be able to answer that objectively.”

You’re wrong. I was her boyfriend.

“Ah! You’ve talked way too much!” Tsubasa grumbled, catching a gyoza with her chopsticks and immediately feeding it to Hatakeyama Jiro forcefully.

“H-hey! Can you do it a little nicely?” With his mouth full of gyoza, Hatakeyama Jiro covered his mouth with his hand while grumbling to Tsubasa. “You really don’t have any manners to a Senpai— you could hurt my mouth!”

Still grumbling, Tsubasa muttered, “The gyoza is good. You should try it.”

“Sasaki,”

The other two returned to Udai.

“she’s kind.”

There was silence after Udai’s last words. A statement that answered Hatakeyama Jiro’s previous question. A late answer.

“Also... she is very bright.”

Udai couldn’t dare look at Tsubasa after saying his answer. It was nothing. Just a pure natural urge that came from within him to defend Tsubasa from all those accusations of having been the one who knew Tsubasa so well even if only briefly, the sentence passed his lips. Voiced softly without regret.

There was silence.

Hatakeyama Jiro was there to break the silence with his response. A hum, which was then followed by another questions. “Then, has she always liked reading manga? Like... have you ever caught her spending time reading manga?”

Now–

“Manga?”

– that’s new.

“Yes. Manga. Has she always been a manga maniac—”

“H-hey, Hatakeyama—”

“You know, Udai-san, this kid sometimes steals time to read manga in between her work breaks. She has a stock of manga in her desk drawer to read every break.”

“Oh, come on!”

“I don’t know about the details, but, clearly it’s something about Zombies…”

“This is your last warning, Hatakeyama.”

“Hora, something recommended to me, Sasaki.”

“What?”

“That manga you recommended— was it called Zombie Knight or something else?”

Tsubasa sighed, his eyes glancing at Udai before she said. “You know, we should talk about your timing next time, Hatakeyama.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Hatakeyama-kun, let me introduce you once again to Udai Tenma-san; the creator of Zombie Knight Zomb’ish manga that you were talking about.”

There was silence after Tsubasa introduced Udai to Hatakeyama Jiro once again.

Udai glanced at Tsubasa before he returned to Hatakeyama Jiro, deciding to lower his hand again after raising it awkwardly to greet Hatakeyama Jiro. Waving was certainly not a good choice. His laughter was thin and awkward, almost insincere.

“Ah! So Udai-san is the mangaka of Zombie Knight?”

“Well…”

“So what?” Tsubasa replied, “After this you’re still going to say that manga is only for kids?”

“Hey, come on! That one’s because you’re childish.”

“Ha!? Don’t make so many nonsensical excuses for your insulting statement!”

“Exactly.”

Hatakeyama Jiro turned to Udai, “Speaking of manga, it’s an honor to know that you’re the very author of Zombie Knight, Udai-san,”

“A-ah... thank you.” Udai said awkwardly.

Hatakeyama Jiro turned back to Tsubasa, “That’s why you’ve been reading Zombie Knight so diligently, apparently.”

“This kid,” Hatakeyama Jiro’s hand pointed at Tsubasa as he turned to the stunned Udai, “she really likes your manga.”

The world stopped once again.

“Not only that she kept it in her drawer, one day, she wouldn’t stop talking about your manga and gave everyone the hassle of having to listen to everything she said. Not to mention how every week she would go to the bookstore just to buy the latest edition— ah, last time you, remember? She also got the latest series of your manga to bring to the office.”

“H-hey! What’s so wrong with that? I have taste, you know! Besides, the story is that good!”

Udai created Zombie Knight Zomb’ish with a little hope that people—anyone—would be able to enjoy the stories and drawings he created with pleasure. Although something about zombies was definitely not something that would make someone read with a beaming face, he still hoped that there were those who looked forward to the manga wholeheartedly.

So far, through the small inspections he had done, seeing the public’s enthusiasm for his manga was something to be proud of. That his hard work was welcomed with open arms by manga readers.

About whoever’s part it was, no matter what age, Tsubasa was the part of it. However, that was before he realized that she was actually one of them. When he finally come to a realization, it only further fed his greed for something he couldn’t reach, shouldn’t.

Crap. Udai would never stop thinking about Tsubasa when he worked on his manga.

This encounter had brought too much catastrophe, truly.

His world was about the woman beside him, his eyes caught her. For a moment, he forgot that there was another pair watching them. His chest was tight. His heart throbbed painfully, desperately wanting to get out and leap into her palm, eager to be held tight like before. He had crossed the line. He was Greedy, too greedy.

In the world that go by on the outside of Udai’s momentarily dead world, realizing that he had been staring for too long, Tsubasa quickly shift her gaze away from Udai. Looking too confused to respond to anything that was going on.

“W-well... it’s not that it’s odd if I’m supporting something that my Senpai’s working hard about, right?” Tsubasa added, feeling uneasy, “After all, it’s written for everyone, all ages and I just like that it’s well-drawn—”

A second later, something happened.

Perhaps because of being too flustered, Tsubasa became nervous and accidentally nudged her glass and ended up spilling the ocha onto Udai’s t-shirt. A white t-shirt.

“Ah! Geez— I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I really didn’t mean to!”

“There you go,” Hatakeyama Jiro said lazily.

“A-ah, it’s alright, it’s alright.”

Hatakeyama Jiro picked up the tissue box and hand it to Udai.

“Thank you, Hatakeyama-san.” Udai took the tissue and started wiping his t-shirt.

“Ah, what should I do about this? Udai-san, I really didn’t mean it, I’m sorry!”

Udai gave Tsubasa a glance. Compared to this, the fact that you read and liked my manga so much was still ten times more surprising. So, “Ah, it’s okay.”

Hatakeyama Jiro sighed, “That’s you, Sasaki. Always so careless.”

Tsubasa bit her finger, feeling guilty at what she had done to Udai’s T-shirt. Then, she decided to grab a tissue and help a little, but Hatakeyama Jiro held her back.

“You, stay still,” his hand held Tsubasa’s, as the other grabbed the tissue from her hand and helped wipe the remains of the ocha on her table.

Udai’s hand movements slowed down watching that.

“You might spill the rest later. That would be twice as troublesome.”

Then, he heard Hatakeyama Jiro sigh again, “You’re as clumsy as always, Sasaki. What a mess you’re causing now.”

“Ah~ It was a white T-shirt.”

Hatakeyama Jiro’s words added guilt to Tsubasa’s shoulders, the next second, she began to shower Udai with words of apology until finally Udai was almost impatient when he answered. However, he quickly brushed it off and said, “It’s alright. I’m okay.”

It was nothing compared to what was going on the inside.

Tsubasa felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment as she watched Udai dab at the green tea stain on his shirt with a tissue. She had been so absorbed in her work that she hadn't noticed her ocha was precariously perched on the edge of her desk, and had accidentally knocked it over with her elbow.

Tsubasa hung her head in shame, mortified at her mistake. However, Udai was quick to come to her aid. "It's alright. It was just an accident," he said.

Hatakeyama Jiro, however, had other plans about it, “You should at least do something about it, Sasaki,”

“Huh?”

“Well, like for example, you take it home and wash it yourself. It’s only fair,”

“Oh, it’s alright. No need to bother.” Udai cut in immediately. “After all, there aren’t that many stains.”

That’ll be a very bad idea.

“... Very well, I’ll… I’ll do it.”

Udai paused for a moment, almost tempted by the idea. But he quickly shook his head, “No. There’s no need to be bothered about it. This is enough.”

“But as Hatakeyama said before, it’s only fair that I wash your t-shirt after spilling the ocha.”

But Udai shook his head, insisting it wasn’t necessary. Before Tsubasa could argue more, Udai’s phone rang.

The phone was on the table. Udai spent a few moments thinking before taking the call. His hand was careful as he picked up the phone, as if hiding something evident there.

At a glance, he saw Akaashi’s name on the phone screen so he immediately answered the call. Another matter was waiting for him somewhere. That day, Akaashi was his savior. He would thank him later.

That was how Udai had finally been able to exclude himself from that panel, forgetting that he had not been able to offer any apologies.

—

.

.

Extension.

.

Some minutes before

“Excuse me for a moment, I— toilet.”

“Hm. You may go.”

After Udai’s back disappeared from her sight, Tsubasa slumped limply in her seat. After quite a while just burying her head in her palms, also cursing herself, she finally lifted her head and straightened up.

Her eyes moved from the pile of small pieces of octopus meat on a small plate to her wrist. Something in her eyes spoke of the intense sadness that was going on inside her chest, like the rain before a storm. The warmth of his touch enveloping her wrist was, inexplicably, colder than the last time she could remember.

But just a little, Tsubasa was happy. At least, Udai still remembered some things about her.

In the middle of her reverie, her phone rang. Hatakeyama Jiro’s name on the screen. “Moshi moshi?”

—--------------------------------------------------------

“Sasaki? Where are you? At the usual restaurant? I’m near, I’ll join you.”

—--------------------------------------------------------

“Eh? Weren’t you going to have lunch with Matsuda?”

—--------------------------------------------------------

“She went to have lunch with her team. She said they are going to talk about the month-end project.”

—--------------------------------------------------------

Talk about bad timing.

Tsubasa sighed, “You know, Hatakeyama, about that, you should pay attention to your timing after this.”

—--------------------------------------------------------

“Ha? What are you talking about? Just wait right there, I have good news.”

—--------------------------------------------------------

Perhaps, with Hatakeyama around, the atmosphere between her and Udai would be better. After all, she also wanted to know what good news her coworker had brought after a conversation with their vice director.

Putting away her phone, Tsubasa’s eyes wandered to where she last saw Udai’s back had disappeared. Making sure he hadn’t returned from there or from any other direction, she checked out what she was carrying in her small bag. She pulled out a small mirror and began to tidy up her appearance.

********************************************************

Udai closed the water faucet after drying his hair and face with a tissue. One last check to make sure his appearance was a little better than before, and he confidently walked out of the restroom.

Just before he rejoined Tsubasa, Udai stopped. Then he changed his direction. Instead of joining Tsubasa right away, Udai decided to stop by the cashier.

“Can I help you?”

“Ah,” Udai mentioned the number of the table where they were seated, “If that woman sitting right there orders the lunch menu like she ordered today on the other day, please tell the chef to remove the octopus pieces from the menu. She has a very bad octopus allergy.”

“Ah, alright then. I’ll let the chef know right away.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Udai and the cashier bowed to each other.

[hellobunny044]

Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

********************************************************

an original Haikyu AU pairing Udai Tenma (the og little giant)

warning!!: containing some manga content.

word count: 6635

********************************************************

Panel - 2

Sasaki Tsubasa….

.

.

.

Nine years ago, Miyagi Prefecture

Udai was never good at interacting due to his shy and introverted personality. A few other weaknesses that he had also come to accept.

Udai Tenma was a name that would be called in the classroom and some students would turn their heads to look for who the heck is Udai Tenma with quiet whispers under their breath. When the one sitting in the corner of the classroom raised his head from the desk with his hand raised in answer to the call, they would remember him as the quiet volleyball player or the number 10 of the volleyball club.

In class, when there was no practice, he would spend his time sleeping or drawing. Drawing volleyball doodles on the edges of his textbooks was a hidden hobby when the class became boring, or somehow he also usually ended up escaping to the gymnasium to sleep there.

It would not be an exaggeration to say that other than the people in his class whom he also didn’t know very well, and also the people from the volleyball team, Udai didn’t have any friends to talk to.

One day, on a peaceful day when he was asleep at his desk, someone woke him up and said that there was a beautiful girl waiting for him in front of the class. Then the whispers had become about that the quiet volleyball player had a girlfriend that was one of the members of the girls’ volleyball club.

That wasn’t his girlfriend, but Udai had neither the desire nor the time to explain anything to anyone.

He carried himself through the crowd with ease without regard to the whispers that his ears clearly picked up.

The days at the school passed by just like any other day that started with morning practice, classes, then ended with afternoon practice and individual practice.

Today ended, and tomorrow would come to an end and be replaced by a new day the next day.

Udai’s day consistently continued with a jog early in the morning, school, morning practice, class, and then ended with the club’s afternoon practice session.

Today, as always, Udai’s day would spin out like any other day. Just like that, everything went according to plan except for one thing.

The supposedly quiet time when he returned from the club’s morning practice and walked out of his locker after retrieving his shoes and uniform, became quite noisy with the hurried footsteps of someone, literally running.

Not only that, there were also a few words that accompanied each of those rapid strides, as if counting how much regret in every second missed because of the person’s own carelessness.

Udai wouldn’t care.

He walked out of the lockers’ corridor while casually opening his bag and taking something out when his world was suddenly about how his bag, phone, uniform, and shoes fell down along with some things he didn’t recognize—and someone he didn’t recognize—who was strong enough not to fall down after bumping into him.

His eyes caught how the person who bumped into him apologized in almost an exclaiming manner as she bent herself before him. Uncomfortable, Udai bowed back before he ducked down to grab his belongings scattered on the floor.

The apology flowed smoothly from the person’s mouth like running water, making it lose its meaning. Udai felt it was convenient, a waste of time.

In his head he said I already understand that, so please stop saying that. However, his mouth didn’t move to say anything.

Near his uniform, there was a small pink notebook that was clearly not his. Udai grabbed it and gave it to the person who was also still busy organizing her belongings. It was the last one.

“Oh? There it is.”

The person looked up after confirming that the pink book he handed was hers. Her brown eyes relieved. There was a shadow of a smile in her gaze.

There wasn’t anything about that person, not yet.

“Tha—”

As if remembering the most crucial thing in her life, that person decided to cut herself off from the politeness Udai expected rather than all her meaningless, expired apologies.

“Crap!”

She forcibly pulled the pink book from Udai’s hand and immediately excused herself. For a moment, Udai believed that that person—that girl—would bump into someone else in another corridor.

He spared some time looking over his shoulder.

Udai didn’t care anymore after that. Not until something brought the two of them back together again after that.

.

.

.

Here, in the present day, Sasaki Tsubasa whom Udai first met on that day, nine years ago, was standing before him.

This looked like the last panel of a manga volume, where two people from an unfinished story were reunited at the most unexpected time. For a moment, just a fleeting thought, Udai wanted this to really be the last panel of a manga and stop everything. But alas, her words connected everything, making this a panel that started a new volume.

“You’re... Udai-san, right? Udai Tenma-san. Right?”

Udai swallowed, swallowing all the feelings that came together in this unexpected encounter, trying to stem them with a little courage to open his voice.

“Sasaki?”

Sasaki Tsubasa, the one who is staring at him with a glimmer of newly flushed pleasure in her eyes. Her smile amused. Her eyes warm. Steadily, not awkward like him, she helped herself to face him properly.

“Oh. It’s really you, Udai-san.”

The time her smile bloomed, his world that once was a black and white panel, turned colorful. Just like when cherry blossoms bloomed during the first day of spring, she was there to color everything again.

“Thankfully, I didn’t get the wrong person.”

“Hmmm.”

Of all the people from the past who could appear before him at this very moment, Sasaki Tsubasa was the first person he didn’t want to meet.

No, it’s not like that. It’s not about any facts that Sasaki Tsubasa is the bad person in his terms. She was the presence that was the very last touch of the warmth of spring in his youth, a presence that he still couldn’t forget, and because of that, she was the first person he didn’t want to meet.

Even though he felt that way, Udai didn’t refuse Sasaki Tsubasa’s invitation when she suggested that they should have a talk. He couldn’t.

Udai felt like time was frozen and everything was happening in slow motion.

Before him, nine years after their first encounter, Sasaki Tsubasa was sitting, sipping the hot coffee she had ordered. That was the first.

The second was, that when they ended up like this, the conversation started. The chance to interact with each other after nine years came. But this time, Udai hesitated about whether or not he should grasp the chance. But as it turned out, settling for indecision wasn’t very helpful either:

“It’s been a while... right?”

Her voice gently swept across her ears. Ringing like the waves on the shore. Her gaze warm like the atmosphere of spring. The smile she curved at him was thin yet warm, like a friendly welcome after all.

“Hmm.”

“I guess… it has been seven or eight years ago, right?”

Their gazes met.

“The last time.”

“Hmmm.”

Udai struggled to find something to reply to her. It felt like he had nothing appropriate to say after not being able to see her since the last time.

“Are you doing well?”

“Hmmm.”

“Glad to hear that.”

“Hmmm.”

Before her, Sasaki Tsubasa smiled.

“Udai-san, are you mute?”

“Hm?”

Tsubasa’s words were preceded by a light chuckle, “You’ve been only saying some hms.”

It was only then that it dawned on him that he hadn’t even said a word and made her look like she was the only one working hard to keep the conversation alive.

“Don’t worry. I was just kidding.”

Her eyes didn’t leave him until the last second before she sipped her coffee.

Udai followed everything. Under her breath, she praised the deliciousness of her chosen coffee while staring at her cup then back up for another sip.

“It’s been... a while, Sasaki.”

Udai finally had the courage to say something after she put her cup back. He felt that if in this encounter, this awkwardness enveloped the atmosphere excessively, then the biggest share would be on him, and later he would not be able to forgive himself if he had to make Sasaki Tsubasa driven away by that awkwardness.

Sasaki Tsubasa’s gaze shifted on him. This time she smiled a little wider.

“Yeah. Time has flown by really fast in the eight years since we last met.”

Udai wanted to ignore that. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“As you said, you’re doing well. I know well enough. You were quite successful with the Zombie Knight Zomb'ish.”

“Well, there you have it. I worked hard.”

“Yeah, right?”

Sasaki Tsubasa smiled and something in Udai’s chest tightened.

Udai’s first attempt to break the ice between them failed. The awkwardness returned. However, unlike him, dead set on this encounter, Sasaki Tsubasa was good at leading them to a way out.

“Got some business around here, Udai-san?”

Udai nodded almost immediately.

“Yes. Um....”

His head worked three times slower, trailing over several things that could befitting as a proper answer.

Fansign. The launch of the 22nd volume special edition of Zombie Knight Zomb'ish. A lunch with his editor and the rest of the team.

“Just like that.”

Udai didn’t have anything good to say about anything, hanging on with a makeshift answer that was not even worthy of a reasonable response. Uncharacteristic. Embarrassing.

He watched Sasaki Tsubasa cautiously, afraid that she might caught him red-handed for being this helpless.

This time, his brain worked faster in findinh something to say, though, he quickly regretted it later.

“What about you?”

“Ah… Just a walk. Spending some time with lunch and a little shopping.”

Udai’s gaze shifted to the paper bag resting on the other side of the sofa where Sasaki Tsubasa sat.

He nodded. When he accidentally returned directly to her eyes, Udai immediately switched to staring at something safer while clearing his throat.

“Well... Are you... alone?”

Huh?

Impoliteness in the first encounter after quite a while was definitely not something he should display.

Udai returned to Sasaki Tsubasa’s eyes that were studying him from earlier when he looked away. He was very bad at this and deeply regretted that what came was worse than what he had expected.

“It’s not— what I meant was— I didn’t mean to—”

“Yes. I was alone.”

Udai stopped. Her voice was able to bring calm into his world that had been momentarily quite chaotic since his second attempt failed. His eyes went down to the pair of eyes staring at him kindly on the other side of the table.

“It’s not that you’ve seen me with anyone since I bumped into you.”

“Oh, right.”

He felt pain when what greeted him was her smile that felt so warm, reawakening his greed to grasp it.

“And you?”

Udai nodded. Clearing his throat before answering. “As you can see.”

Sasaki Tsubasa hummed in response while slowly nodding. Her gaze shifted to something else, stopping on the juice that sat untouched before Udai and smiling.

“A juice, huh?”

Sasaki Tsubasa met his eyes, “Why? Isn’t this a cafe?”

Udai stared at his juice before he returned for a response. “I don’t drink coffee.”

“Oh? Really?”

Udai nodded.

“But why?”

The concerned tone of her question made Udai almost laugh, tickled by the fact that perhaps she felt that a grown man, twenty-six years above what he was worth, seemed to be afraid of the bitter taste that coffee offered.

“I do suppress my coffee dose as much as possible other than when working.”

Sasaki Tsubasa nodded at his explanation.

“Oh. My bad.”

Udai shook his head. “No problem.”

Sasaki Tsubasa nodded. “Is making manga difficult?”

To his question, Udai had many answers.

First: yes. It’s hard. Especially when you have problems making up for your own deadlines.

Second: yes. Very difficult. Especially when you’re a manga artist who has to deal with Akaashi always-demanding-the-best-things-you-can-do-as-a-manga-artist-on-every-volume Keiji-san.

Third: yes. Very very difficult. Especially on those nights where he has consumed enough doses of coffee to stay awake but his brain still won’t cooperate to come up with the one best plot that will preserve his dignity in front of his strict editor and the publication house.

Fourth: yes. Unbelievably difficult. Especially at those times where his brain was being showered with brilliant ideas, but he was running out of chips and his frozen brain was forcing him to stay put and do nothing until Akaashi sent a message to remind him of his deadline. And there was actually a lot more he wanted to say to that question. It was just that he didn’t dare to say anything out of line.

“Just like that.”

Sasaki Tsubasa looked at Udai with a warm smile. “You really hung in there for quite a while.”

Udai did not realize that he was rolling a faint smile at her statement. “Yes. I sure am.”

The conversation in this encounter then lost its direction. The atmosphere was again filled with silence. Udai felt that he really sucked at conversations, realizing that his weakness had grown bigger than he could control.

Udai didn’t miss that after the silence returned to embrace them, Sasaki Tsubasa decided to accept it as a pause to take a sip of her coffee.

Only then did their awkward conversation resume.

“Do you live around here, Udai-san?”

Udai immediately replied, “Hmm.”

He regretted to death that he ended up going back to that annoying answer instead of choosing something more proper like yes or yes, it’s close enough from here.

After that, there was silence that joined them. Udai quickly looked down and drank his juice. Suddenly, the taste of the orange juice was no longer so sweet as in the first sip, mixed with guilt.

“Just now I saw something so crowded on the ground floor, near the bookstore—”

Sasaki Tsubasa was talking; something Udai was looking forward to out of all the things he might be comfortable enough to talk about with her. However, the ringing of her phone cut her off.

Her eyes swept over him for a moment before she answered the call, excusing herself politely.

“A moment.”

While waiting for Sasaki Tsubasa taking call—from anyone who made her smile after seeing the name on the screen—Udai decided to take another sip of his juice.

“Hai, moshi moshi?”

Udai briefly glanced at Sasaki Tsubasa and caught that she was smiling at something the person on the other end of the line said. “Oh? Already?”

Then she turned, searched, and greeted someone on the entrance while holding a cell phone to his ear. It was a man. A tall man with blonde hair, and looking ten times more neat and cool than what was sitting before her.

Just as he expected, Sasaki Tsubasa raised her hand to the man. A smile spread across her face as she welcomed him. Friendly. Friendlier and warmer than what he had gotten some time before.

“You’re really fast.”

“Hm. I just didn’t want to be nagged.”

Sasaki Tsubasa chuckled warmly at the man’s response. For a moment, Udai felt excluded from her world. In a world where he could only be a spectator to the warm and familiar interactions between Sasaki Tsubasa and the man who made her more comfortable.

“Did you fly?”

Udai did not miss that she chuckled, or almost laughing amusedly, before her hand kindly patted the back of the man who was still comfortably standing next to the chair where she was sitting.

“For you, I can fly or teleport.”

“What the heck is wrong with you these days?”

Her brow furrowed. The soft laughter that came afterwards was amused, returned with a friendly smile by the man. His eyes traveled to something that was with Sasaki Tsubasa beside her.

“Is that all?”

“Hmm.”

The man’s hand reached for the paper bag and peered inside. A sigh slipped past his lips, his eyes shifted to Sasaki Tsubasa who was staring at him innocently.

“Why?”

“Did you really come all the way here on the weekend for all this stuff?”

“Hmm.”

“I really just can’t with you.”

Sasaki Tsubasa’s brow furrowed at that statement, but she let him take the paper bag.

“Why?”

“Please grow up, Sasaki.”

With half a heart, Sasaki Tsubasa threw a soft fist at the man’s arm. Her expression was half-fierce as she said, “You just won’t budge and listen to me. I told you to read this. This is really good, you know.”

“There, there. We have to—”

The man stopped himself, realizing that besides them, there was another (almost) forgotten presence.

His gaze was now fixed on another man—clearly unfamiliar—who was occupying the seat on the other side of the table, busy looking down while diligently sipping on his orange juice as if it was a task he had to complete like a game quest to level up. Udai.

Sasaki Tsubasa also realized that she had momentarily forgotten and excluded Udai since the man came.

When her gaze met the man’s, in a low whisper, the man asked about Udai.

“Ah—”

Sasaki Tsubasa smiled, forgetting that the first thing she should have done was to bridge the estrangement between the two people she was with by introducing them to each other.

After that, the first one she called out to was Udai.

“Udai-san?”

Udai, who was diligently sipping his juice, raised his head, finished it in one last straw and then straightened up. His gaze traced the two faces across the table in turn and returned to Sasaki Tsubasa, comfortable looking at her rather than someone he was unfamiliar with beside her.

Sasaki Tsubasa’s hand gestured politely to the man standing next to her chair, still having no intention of sitting down in the vacant spot next to her after the familiarity that had become common knowledge. “This is Hatakeyama Jiro.”

Sasaki Tsubasa’s gaze shifted to the blonde man named Hatakeyama Jiroz

“Hatakeyama, this is Udai-san.”

Hatakeyama Jiro waited for Sasaki Tsubasa’s next words, and so did Udai.

In his head, Udai anticipated how she would introduce him to this man. Would this introduction be titled like he was someone from my past, or something else that might be more specific...

“He was my senpai back in high school.”

“Oh? I see.”

“Hmm.”

“One moment. High school... I forgot the name of the high school you went to…”

“It’s Karasuno.”

“Ah! That’s right. Karasuno High School of Miyagi Prefecture, right?”

Hatakeyama Jiro immediately nodded. His gaze turned to Udai. A smile on his face, he approached and extended his hand to Udai who stared at his hand for a long time.

“I’m Hatakeyama Jiro, Itachiyama graduate.”

Udai was almost shocked at the fact that he almost froze when the man Hatakeyama Jiro extended his hand. Realizing that he looked stupid, pathetic, and impolite, Udai quickly accepted the extended hand. He shook the man’s hand and rolled up a smile, immediately hiding the oddness that churning inside his chest.

“Nice to meet you.” Hatakeyama Jiro’s voice was friendly to him, coupled with a genuine smile.

“It’s very nice to meet you, too.”

After their handshake ended, Hatakeyama Jiro asked Udai another question.

“What year did you graduate from Karasuno, Udai-san?”

Udai had opened his mouth, about to answer the question. However, Sasaki Tsubasa had preceded him to answer.

“2010.”

“Oh?” Hatakeyama Jiro’s gaze returned to Sasaki Tsubasa. “Exactly a year above you.”

Sasaki Tsubasa chuckled, “Of course. I told you he was a Senpai.”

“Really? Then I’ve missed it. Sorry.”

Sasaki Tsubasa sighed, “You grow up, Hatakeyama.”

Having said that, Sasaki Tsubasa chose to exclude herself from what Udai and Hatakeyama Jiro were talking about right after.

“Are you alone, Udai-san?" The question came from Hatakeyama Jiro to Udai.

“Yes.”

“Oh.” The blonde pointed at Sasaki Tsubasa, “I came to pick her up.”

“Oh.” Udai swept his gaze to Sasaki Tsubasa who was busy organizing her belongings, preparing to leave with the man who came to pick her up.

“You seem to know Sasaki quite well,”

Udai did not expect that question to come to him.

“Back in school, were you guys pretty close?”

“Huh?”

“Ah right, what I mean is, for an upperclassman and an underclassman to comfortably have a coffee with each other like this, were you close enough? Are you two used to be in the same club?”

“Huh? Not really.”

“Then... Does Sasaki used to be some kind of evil underclassman who always picked on his upperclassman?”

“Not at all.”

“Oh? Then, you guys are pretty close as an upperclassman and an underclassman.”

“I’m done.”

Hatakeyama Jiro returned to Sasaki Tsubasa. “Oh? Okay.” His hand reached for the paper bag before Sasaki Tsubasa was able to.

Sasaki Tsubasa smiled and said, “As always, thank you, Hatakeyama-san.”

“If you’re really that grateful of me, please grow up.”

Sasaki Tsubasa chuckled. Her hand drifted to pat Hatakeyama Jiro’s shoulder gently, more warm than friendly. After that, only then did her gaze turn to Udai.

“Udai-san?”

Udai replied, “Hm?”

Sasaki Tsubasa smiled, “Thank you for accepting my offer to have coffee.”

“It’s no problem.” Udai hoped that he didn’t actually say that and sound like the jerk that he is.

“Then, I’ll get going.”

“Hmm.”

“Once again, thank you very much, Udai-san.”

“Anytime.”

Sasaki Tsubasa smiled at him, warmly. The warmth in her smile made his chest feel as if it was crushed with a large amount of hot soil that someone had stuffed into his chest. The warmth of her smile seemed to welcome his hand that selfishly reached out for her. Her eyes also warm, whispering that their unfinished past could be reopened.

“Take a good care of yourself and your health, Udai-san. I hope we can meet again next time.”

Udai had never felt failure or despair when he met his deadline when there was nothing in his head that he could pour out to form the panels that would fill the blank sheets of a new volume he had to hand in in no time. Right now, however, that despair came to hold him tightly, leaving him bereft of any better response than a meaningless hum. Remaining the heartless man that he is.

The world protected Sasaki Tsubasa from Udai by not letting their story end. Time opened a branch where Sasaki Tsubasa would flow into a new story that was better than all the disappointments Udai had scratched into her heart, for her escape from the unpleasant ending of their past. Fate had arranged that they would not be finished, so Sasaki Tsubasa would be anchored to someone else. Someone a thousand times better than Udai.

To suggest that they would meet again one day after this, was a lie she should never have told.

Udai, however, felt guilty that ever since that day, he had been leaning on the hope of another encounter other than something as unplanned.

—

.

.

.

“Are?”

Sasaki Tsubasa, just realized that her phone was missing this morning after she was busy checking the entire space in her bag to the point of spilling everything on the table.

“Where did I put it…”

Sasaki searched in all possible places. Her bag drawer, her desk drawer, between the sheets of her books, in her pencil case, her shirt and jacket pockets, only to come to the conclusion that her phone was indeed missing.

She broke into the desk, startling the few girls sitting at the tables around.

“What’s wrong, Sasaki?” A girl with glasses asked.

Sasaki turned with a panicked look, “What am I supposed to do now?”

The girl frowned, “What is it?”

“I couldn’t find my phone.”

“Hm?”

Sasaki shook her head, “It’s nowhere here. Not anywhere in my bag or in the drawers.”

“Where did you put it last time?”

“I held it and put it in my bag—”

Sasaki paused.

The accident happened this morning in the corridor when she bumped into someone replaying in her head. She replayed what happened in a slower simulation in her head and began to notice what she had missed. After remembering that she had never put her cell phone in her bag after that, Sasaki immediately ran out of her classroom, ignoring a voice that followed her steps to the front of the classroom, reacting with confusion and worry to what had happened.

Sasaki led herself down the stairs, returning back to the corridor where she had collided with someone she never met before.

When she got there, there was a large crowd of students who were mostly people she didn’t recognize at all, big in stature, body, and overall. In short, the senpai.

Sasaki didn’t retreat immediately, she made her way through the bustling crowd with the various things they were talking about without a care in the world, focusing only on something she might find scattering in a corner of the floor nearby.

“Who is that Udai Tenma?”

“That one. He’s from class 2-3. That little volleyball player. The so-called ace of our school’s volleyball club.”

“Ah! So he’s Udai Tenma?”

“Who else?”

“I never knew that his name was Udai Tenma.”

Sasaki had gone down almost every possible avenue where her cell phone would be stranded, and had even resigned herself to the fact that with the crowded corridor as those senpai passed by it might be trampled, only to return to class empty-handed.

Limply, she returned to her seat while dropping her head on her bag in resignation. Mumbling and declaring her negligence and carelessness today.

“What’s wrong, Sasaki?”

A girl approached, immediately sitting on the empty bench in front of her chair.

Sasaki turned and said resignedly, “I really lost my cell phone.”

“Heee? Really? How come?”

“I dropped it this morning. Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Then maybe someone stepped on it and threw it in the trash can! Ah! What am I gonna do about this, Matsuda?”

Sasaki straightened her body and whined to the girl sitting before her.

“Oh... Sasaki, stop whining! You’re overreacting!”

The girl, Matsuda, took something out of her pocket. A phone, pink colored, was given to Sasaki. “Use this and call your phone.”

Sasaki was brightened up, her eyes literally sparkling with hope. Then her negative thoughts again embraced her tightly when she said, “But, how will someone pick it up if it’s really in the trash can?”

Matsuda sighed, “Sasaki, you haven’t even tried to do anything with it. Just try calling your cell phone first. It could be that someone is taking good care of it.”

Sasaki looked at Matsuda doubtfully, “You think so?”

“I’m just saying, if you don’t try then you won’t know.”

“Then, if it really is in the trash can?”

“You just need to dissect all the trash cans in the whole school.”

“Matsuda!”

********************************************************

Meanwhile, the club room of the boys’ volleyball club of Karasuno High School was already crowded with underclassmen coming first to get ready and prepare the gym before the upperclassmen arrived.

The awaited upperclassmen arrived one by one, starting from several second year players, then the captain and the senior players in the third year who were casually but politely greeted by the underclassmen who rushed out to prepare the gym before the afternoon practice began.

“Udai-kun!”

Before Udai reached the boys volleyball team’s club room on the second floor, someone stopped him, half-running up to him. Udai paused and waited for him, greeting when he caught up with him.

The blonde haired man who was much taller than Udai was Tsukishima Akiteru, one of the third year team members.

They walked hand in hand to the locker room, greeting and returning the greetings that came to them as they entered.

Udai went to his locker and took off his uniform and changed into more appropriate training clothes. Instead of a short white t-shirt, Udai chose to wear a black long-sleeved shirt that gave shape to his small body that had healthy muscles.

“Oh! Udai looks so cool in a different shirt from the whole team!” One of the third year teased Udai.

“His arm muscles aren’t bad. It’s kind of cool there, Udai!”

“I think he’s taking extra training outside of the team’s exercising schedule. Right, Udai?”

“Right.”

Udai replied without second thought, not really interested in joining in the chatter of his seniors.

“Oi, cheer up a bit! You’re the ace, right?”

“Well, then. I’ll keep my good spirits up on the court during practice.”

“Oooh!”

“As expected from the ace himself!”

“Way to go, Udai-san!”

The upperclassmen began to riot and Udai sighed.

“Hurry up and move all of your asses, the team’s practice is about to begin.”

The captain’s voice rang out, commanding the members to prepare immediately.

“Udai, Tsukishima, be sure to catch up soon!”

Udai turned his head and nodded, “Alright.”

After the captain left the club room, the remaining third years and a few second years followed immediately with chatter such as:

“Kawada-san is always in good spirits as usual.”

“Acts of a true captain.”

“Always like that.”

The club room door closed leaving Udai and Tsukishima Akiteru who were also still preparing some things.

Udai folded his uniform and quickly stuffed it into a bag, exchanging it for a pair of knee pads.

There Udai was, staring at his bag when he noticed two similar cell phones in the place where he had pulled out his knee pads.

His brow furrowed, scrutinizing them closely. One of them was no doubt his cell phone.

Putting down his uniform and knee pads, he grabbed the two similarly looking phones and stared at them in turn. Simultaneously, he opened them both. Everything was exactly the same. The color, the type, and size, even the default wallpaper used was also coincidentally the same. The only difference was the amount of battery on both devices.

Udai checked the phone he remembered should be his by looking at the call log. Once he was sure it was his cell phone, he moved on to the other one. With a rather curious and puzzled look, Udai examined the cell phone more diligently.

“Udai-kun?”

Tsukishima Akiteru had just called out.

Udai turned to the blonde haired boy who was watching him.

“What are you doing? You’re going to be late for afternoon practice.”

“Ah, right.”

Deciding that afternoon practice was first of all important for now, Udai quickly tidied up the remaining of his belongings, including the unfamiliar phone that had somehow ended up in his bag. For a moment, Udai wondered if it was an unfunny prank from his classmates or something perhaps even stranger or unfunnier.

Closing his locker, Udai was ready to leave the club room when from his locker came a very audible ring that almost made him fall over in surprise.

He turned and carefully checked his locker again. The sound was coming from his bag, but it was clear that his cell phone would not ring.

When he opened his bag, it was true that the one ringing was the other phone. Matsuda Aihara’s name was on the screen, a very unfamiliar name.

Udai answered the call after almost thinking of all the possibilities that might happen.

The first thing he heard was a cry of relief that almost deafened his ears after he greeted the person on the other end. The girl, who was the owner of the phone, stated that she had lost it somewhere and promised to meet Udai at the school gate after the last class ended.

Udai soon followed to the gymnasium to join the afternoon training session, soon joining the others who were stretching with their captain as the leader.

During the break, Udai turned to look at the broken clock on the wall. He turned to someone beside him.

“Kikuta,”

“What?”

“What time is it?”

“Five.”

Udai shifted his gaze toward the gymnasium entrance where two people from the first year had just run out.

“What’s wrong, Udai?”

“Nothing.”

The previous call with the phone’s owner ended with Udai deciding that he would catch up as much as he could as he had afternoon club’s activity, and then the owner of the phone agreed to wait for him after he’s done with everything.

Although he wanted to train more than anything, he would still feel guilty if he made someone wait too long for him. Moreover, he was currently talking about a girl who would wait until he finished at seven or eight in the evening.

Udai put his bottle on the bench and went to the captain and coach to ask permission to use the restroom for a while.

“Why? Is your stomach hurt?” The captain asked in an amused tone.

“Yes. Just like that.”

“What did you eat last night?”

“I ate too much curry.” Udai replied simply, lying.

“Oh, it’s going to be so stinky! Hurry up and leave.”

“Thank you.”

Immediately excluding himself from the training ground, Udai half-ran towards the locker room, took out a phone from his bag and brought it with him to the gate.

There were no longer as many people there as he had expected, except for a girl who would be the owner of the phone he had brought with him.

“Phone?”

The brown haired girl who waited patiently at the gate, immediately turned to greet Udai’s voice. She was confronted by Udai who showed her a red cell phone, with a frown that gradually wrinkled at the memory that was brought back to him after they met.

Sasaki Tsubasa, the brunette girl, had the same reaction to the memories that came back to her.

They had met.

This morning. In the corridor.

That collision.

It was then that Udai started to think of all the possibilities to solve how the cell phone in his hand could ever end up in his bag from the morning until a few hours before through the collision that occurred between them in front of the corridor hallway.

“Ah! It turns out that my phone is with you! Thank you and sorry for the trouble!”

Sasaki caught up with Udai at a half run, welcoming her cell phone with a beaming face.

“Thank you so much for keeping this phone so well.”

“No. I didn’t intend to keep it.”

“Eh?”

Udai’s gaze shifted to the red phone as he said, “It was suddenly in my bag before I knew it.”

Sasaki stared confusedly, not understanding what he was talking about.

“It’s weird. I’m also trying to digest all the possibilities of how your cell phone could have ended up in my bag before I knew it. That doesn’t really matter either.”

“A-ah… Yes. Right.”

Sasaki blinked innocently after seeing how Udai immediately excluded himself after that. Awkwardly, Sasaki bowed her head and once again thanked Udai who half ran out of the gate.

When Udai returned to the gymnasium, a few second years immediately greeted him with teases such as, “Heya! How’s the ace and his stomach doing?”

“Are they both doing well?”

“That’s a warning not to love curry too much, Udai-kun!”

“Did you take it all the way out?”

“Hm.”

“You obviously don’t want to fart while we’re practicing!” One of his teammates giggled after making his point.

Udai was not bothered as he said, “I won’t.”

“Next, Spike practice!”

Kawada’s voice, their captain, echoed out to command the proceedings of their afternoon practice.

********************************************************

It was over nine o’clock when Udai checked his phone as he towel dried his hair. His brow furrowed when he saw some unfamiliar names on his cell phone that he had just taken out of his bag after a while.

Stupid Face Kanoka. (2)

Mom. (5)

Stupid Face Kanoka. (15)

———————————————————————————

Matsuda: How is it Sasaki? Did you finally get your phone back?

———————————————————————————

Mori: Did you get a group for Japanese literature? Aizawa asked me if you wanted to join our group

———————————————————————————

Udai blinked. Realizing that it was his stupidity that now, his cell phone was switched with whoever the girl who was friends with these girl Matsuda and Mori was.

He sighed. Cursing himself for his ingrained stupidity. About to type in his own number on the dial buttons, Udai stopped when a familiar number called the unfamiliar phone with him.

Knowing that it must be the owner of this very phone who used his phone number calling him, Udai immediately picked up the call.

“Moshi moshi, this is Udai Tenma. Sorry, I may have returned the wrong phone.”

———————————————————————————

“Ah, yes. I called several times beforehand to confirm that I might have received the wrong phone."

———————————————————————————

“Yes. Coincidentally our phones are the same, so I might be confused for a moment on how to tell the difference. I’ll return your phone tomorrow morning at the gate.”

———————————————————————————

“Oh. That’s all right. Thank you very much.”

———————————————————————————

“…. Also, I apologize if I’m being rude, first of all.”

———————————————————————————

“Eh?”

———————————————————————————

“It seems that you should contact someone called Mori and Matsuda. They sent a message that seems important. Also, someone by the name of Stupid Face Kanoka called fifteen times last time.” Udai wrapped it up with, “In that case, I’ll see you tomorrow morning at the gate.”

And so it was that tomorrow morning Udai ended up meeting Sasaki, the owner of the phone at the gate.

“Good morning, Udai Tenma-kun. Sorry for the trouble.” Sasaki bowed in greeting to Udai who stopped and held out his cell phone to him.

“It’s nothing. I’m the one at fault for bringing the wrong cell phone to you.” Udai responded.

After they exchanged phones, this time, both of them made sure that they received the right phone.

“This is my cell phone.” Sasaki confirmed it first.

“Here too.” Udai followed shortly after.

Sasaki smiled at Udai while nodding. She paused for a moment before saying something else, “I never saw you before. You’re a first year, right?”

Udai answered without missing a beat, “Second year.”

“Eeeehhh? Crap! You’re a senpai—“ Sasaki immediately bowed, almost slamming herself into a ninety-degree bow before the confused Udai. “Please forgive me!”

“H-hey, what are you doing?”

“Please forgive me for troubling you, senpai!”

Udai frowned, “T-there’s nothing to be troubled about. After all, from the beginning, it was on me for not checking my cell phone more thoroughly.” Udai sighed, “Get up.”

Sasaki got up and looked at Udai who was almost startled. Udai cleared his throat after his gaze met Sasaki’s

“Thank you very much.” Sasaki said.

“Oh.” Udai replied. “... First year?”

“Hai.” Sasaki replied formally.

Udai nodded and excused himself under his breath, barely audible.

“Thank you so much!”

Udai was almost irritated that Sasaki said something loud enough to make both his shoulders heave stiffly in surprise, not to mention, he had an itch that the girl must have bowed to him again. Yet he didn’t stop or say anything to her and instead quickened his pace towards the gymnasium.

“Thank you very much, Udai Senpai!”

********************************************************

That’s all for chapter 2 of Panels. That I specially dedicated for The Original Little Giant, Udai Tenma because i think we need to give him more credit for being Hinata Shoyo’s inspiration. Heh heh.

Next chapter coming soon!

[hellobunny044]

Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

********************************************************

an original Haikyu AU pairing Udai Tenma (the og little giant

warning!!: containing some manga content.

word count: 5190

********************************************************

Panel - 5

“Udai-san,” From across the table somewhere in weekly shonen building, Akaashi’s voice rang greeting him, “I hope you've been well.”

Udai had come to the office to show Akaashi the rough sketch of the 24th volume of Zombie Knight Zomb'ish.

“Yes, Akaashi-san. I’ve been doing very well.”

“With the manga?”

“Yes.”

Catching the way the editor glanced briefly with a judgmental look so loud in his face, Udai immediately added more weight to his claim. “I mean, I came here a day before the deadline, right? Let’s firstly agree to that, please?”

“Well… that one’s right, so,”

Udai grinned, “That’s more like it.”

Akaashi did not give any formal sign when he began.

It’s not a secret anymore that the very man sitting before him is—and he bet will forever be—a strict editor.

Critical, thorough, perfectionist, and sometimes demanding, would be some of those perfect terms to describe Akaashi Keiji as his editor. His precision in work could sometimes be so overwhelming, but in some parts of the story, he was probably the most befitting person there is to fill the role of Udai’s editor.

The room hung heavy with anticipation as Akaashi immersed himself in the macabre pages that Udai had sacrificed countless hours to birth. His eyes scrutinized the black and white strokes, carefully etched with an almost ethereal precision.

For a long time the room was filled only with the denseness of Akaashi’s silence as he struggled with the rough manuscript Udai had brought to her. On the other side of the manuscript where his hands were quite free, he occasionally fiddled with the pen between his fingers. His eyes, rather than those of a young owl, looked more like those of a young hawk.

That was Akaashi Keiji on days like this from Udai’s perspective.

“So, what do you think about it, Akaashi-san?”

“The shading on this panel is uneven, the proportions on this character are off on this and this panel.” Akaashi criticized, not mincing his words.

Udai felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He had poured his heart into this volume, spending countless hours carefully crafting each panel, yet it seemed it wasn’t good enough.

Laughing that one off bitterly, he said, “As always expected from your words, super sharp, super precise.”

“I only gave necessary critics to make sure that the manga is doing well.”

“Then I suppose I am to make the necessary changes,” Udai replied, nodding.

“That goes without words.”

“Geh!”

Akaashi sighed, taking off her glasses for a moment after struggling with the rough sketch script.

“The overall plot in this volume is very interesting. ”

Udai sighed almost like someone in pain, “Of course. I literally poured my heart, soul, and body into this.”

“Is that so?”

“Of course!”

“In that case, how about starting the same thing about your time management, Udai-san?”

Udai seemed to be slapped by Akaashi’s question coming at him. Half defending himself, he said, “I’m on time.”

But when Akaashi looked at him, he immediately continued with. “Though not always.”

Akaashi sighed.

“However,” Udai then quickly continued before Akaashi could do anything. “At the very least, I’m always trying my best. But, you know, out of ten attempts made, it is very rare that the success rate would go for 10/10, right?”

“You can, if you apply a task-focus on every attempt.”

“Geh!” Udai gave an expression of dislike listening to what Akaashi had to say, bored by something about the editor's task focus. “After all, it’s all about that task-focus thing, huh?”

Udai sighed, “Akaashi-san, you really are so demanding.”

Akaashi wiped his glasses carefully and distractedly, once in a while, responding to Udai’s words.

“Anyway, I’ll try to give it my best for the last five volumes, and more than anything, I’ll give Zomb'ish the best ending.”

“Right.”

“Then after that, when Zomb'ish ends, I’ll start drawing storyboards for my next work.” Udai’s eyes sparkled with determination. The smile that bloomed on his face laced with confidence.

Just before putting her glasses back on, Akaashi had smiled. A curved line that remained a 1% part of Akaashi Keiji, a young weekly shonen jump editor who was known for being strict and perfectionist.

“You look so pumped up about that, Udai-san.”

“Of course!”

Sometimes, at certain times, Udai’s fiery spirit reminded him of Bokuto Koutarou. Traveling back to high school days in a split second through the artist’s behavior made Akaashi feel quite sentimental. However, Akaashi Keiji is still Akaashi Keiji.

Udai turned to Akaashi, “I’ll start working hard from now on, so please be prepared because I’ll be coming nonstop for consultations. This time it will be more frequent!”

“I’ll be really grateful if that really happens.”

Udai almost choked on his own breath. Quickly coming out of his embarrassment by Akaashi’s point, Udai immediately exclaimed, almost scowling if he did not remember that he was an adult, a grown-ass man.

“Akaashi-san, you shouldn’t look down on me like that! If you continue like that, I’ll really teach you a lesson!”

“I’ve prepared myself for that, Udai Sensei.”

Udai was stunned to hear the formal calling that came only whenever Akaashi was in his most serious editor mode. Sure enough, this time Akaashi looked serious as he carry on.

“Knowing that an end must come is all the more reason to begin anew.”

The editor’s hand adjusted his glasses in the closing sentence.

“Let’s keep giving it our very best, Udai Sensei.”

Udai then responded politely to that sentence. “Yes, sir.”

“Regarding your next work,” Akaashi continued, “first of all, rather than anything about your next works, you should finish Zomb'ish first. Let’s give our best for every last volume that will be published.”

A smile gradually spread across Udai’s face, its curves askew. Perhaps this time, with Akaashi’s encouragement, Udai felt a greater sense of confidence. “That goes without saying. After all, Akaashi-san, didn’t I tell you? I will work hard seriously after this. You’ll soon understand how serious I am!”

Udai looked up at the sky from the window. Akaashi no longer attacked him with criticism or other insinuations. It was quiet, and Udai could clearly hear the rumbling of his passion to give his best on the last five volumes left to finish Zombie Knight Zomb'ish.

Having had enough of gazing up at the sky, letting his hopes for the final five volumes of the manga fly, Udai moved on. He returned to Akaashi who still had a bit of work to do, diligent as always. For a moment, he peered at something Akaashi had written on the stack of papers he was reading, completely uninterested in whatever it was. Then, his gaze wandered and stopped on the analog clock on the editor’s desk that was still neat despite the several stacks of papers on it. A total contrast to Udai’s kind of tidy desk at home.

Looking at the clock reading eleven o’clock, Udai muttered something about Oh? It’s almost lunchtime.

“Akaashi-san,”

Akaashi paused.

“It’s almost lunch time.”

Choosing to look at her watch, Akaashi also muttered something about oh? It's lunch time already.

After reading Akaashi’s gesture, Udai pointed behind him while saying, “I know a good restaurant nearby. Want to try have lunch there?”

“Although I appreciate your offer, I have to pass this time.”

“Heee? What’s with your answer? You’re so weird, Akaashi-san.” Udai almost pouting.

“As you can see, I’ll be a little busy.”

“They don’t always pay you extra for working an extra hour, you know.”

“That is indeed true.”

“Then?”

“I will stay in my office for some time. I’m afraid that someone will make a last-minute surprise visit at lunchtime.”

Although Akaashi’s last sentence was spoken almost half-mumbled, Udai managed to catch a few things.

“Huh?”

Akaashi looked at Udai and said, “I’ll join next time, Udai-san. Thank you.”

Udai sighed then got up. “Okay.”

Akaashi, who probably noticed how Udai wiped his already quite long hair behind his ears as he packed up his things, said something.

“Udai-san,”

Udai turned briefly at Akaashi, and replied with a hum.

“Just wondering,”

“About what?”

“If you ever consider tying your hair.”

Udai did not immediately stop, but his attention was drawn to Akaashi’s words about tying his hair. He was also quite surprised that there was something else—beside his obsession with chips that could not be helped—that Akaashi also noticed outside of their professional relationship as a manga artist and editor.

They were definitely two different person when it came to things like this. If Udai was the as long as it doesn’t get in the way —type, then it was clear that Akaashi Keiji was the before it gets in the way —type.

“Also, Udai-san,”

“Hm?”

“Schweiden Adlers have a match scheduled for later this month.”

“Oh? They have?” Udai’s eyes lit up.

“Yeah. You’ve been watching Hoshiumi Senshu’s matches all this time. Why don’t you try going to see it in person once in a while?”

Udai returned the question, “What about you, Akaashi-san?”

“Watching the combination of Kageyama, Hoshiumi and Ushijima is satisfying, but I’d rather not being called a traitor.”

Udai’s laughter broke out at Akaashi’s words, “It’s true! If I’m not mistaken, Akaashi-san and Bokuto Koutarou from Black Jackals were partners during high school, right?”

Akaashi answered briefly.

“They were all feisty, Black Jackals or Adlers.” Udai smiled.

“Someone from Black Jackals, if I’m not mistaken, once idolized you a lot, right, Udai-san?”

“Ah— him? Yeah. Hinata Shouyou. Right. Kind of.” Udai smiled, remembering a particular person with distinguished orange hair. Someone whose wings were ten times stronger than his when he was his age.

The atmosphere was awkward and silent. For a moment, Akaashi thought that this would be a situation where Udai would get sentimental about his volleyball career stalling out. But no. Udai smiled at Akaashi and said, “I’ll watch the match from home. After all, I’ve given my word to my esteemed, strict editor to work harder on the last five volumes. Task focus.”

Udai studied how Akaashi looked off-guard in the last part where he quoted something that was his trademark, obviously not expecting it to come.

Udai grinned, “This time, I’ll teach you a lesson for underestimating someone older, editor-kun.”

Akaashi let out a sigh of relief, tugging slightly at the corners of his lips to simply smile. “Alright, then. Good luck with the hard work, Udai-san.”

“Yes. Be prepared, Akaashi-san! There will be no mercy when I get serious.”

Udai no longer cared about Akaashi’s response as he turned and left the room.

********************************************************

Udai left the Weekly Shonen Jump’s office feeling both relieved and exhausted. The meeting with Akaashi had been productive, but it had also been tiring. He needed to rest, to have a little break. So he decided to go to a restaurant nearby, hoping to find some solace in a good meal.

He decided to treat himself to lunch at a nearby restaurant, a small place he had always come to when he stopped by at the office.

This restaurant was apparently not quite the favorite in the neighborhood despite the good trademark of each one of their menu and there weren’t many people coming on each day he stopped by. Same goes for today.

As he walked in, he was surprised to see that the restaurant was playing some volleyball tournament on their giant TV screen.

The teams on the screen were Japan and Brazil, two powerhouses in the world of volleyball. The match was intense, with both teams fighting fiercely for every point. Some people, especially the waitresses, were cheering, clapping, and shouting, hyping themselves up

Udai found himself smiling, caught up in the excitement of the game. It was contagious.

“Welcome! Good afternoon, Sir. What would you like to have?”

Udai took a seat at a small table near the wall, still watching the match with a distant gaze. His mind was wandering far back, to his high school days, when he was the ace of Karasuno’s volleyball team. The memories came flooding back, the adrenaline, the sweat, the tears, the ecstasy when his team won.

He remembered how he used to practice for hours, perfecting his techniques, his jumps, his spikes. He remembered the excitement of the matches, how they’d spent hours analyzing their opponents, trying to find their weak spots. He’d never felt more alive back then, more passionate, more driven.

The match on TV was intense, and Udai found himself slowly getting caught up in the excitement.

Even though he knew it was probably a rebroadcasted match, he felt like he was there, in the thick of the action, sweating and jumping, just like back in the day.

The crowd in the restaurant was going wild as Japan scored a point.

Udai smiled watching the enthusiasm.

He remembered the satisfaction of a well-placed spike, the feeling of the ball hitting the ground on his opponent’s side of the court. He remembered the exhilaration he felt when he heard the crowd cheering, the smile on his face as he high-fived his teammates.

Watching the match now, Udai realized how much he’d missed the game. He felt like he’d lost a part of himself, a part that he hadn’t realized was missing until now. He realized that there’s still a part of him that strangled on the court, yearning to the feeling of being there. Yearning of the thrill, the joy, the pressure, he started to yearn for all of it to the past he knew he had left with a big heart.

While Udai Tenma might be content living in a life where he is the creator of one of the best selling manga series, the Little Giant inside him was yearning to be taken back to his nature. Right there. On the court.

This might look painful for some people, but he had realized it since long long ago, that there was another thing that he wanted to try—and probably would do better than—than volleyball.

He had given up his youth for volleyball, and was given more than enough chances to play his best, to see what lies on the other side of the foreign ocean of volleyball. Now, it’s time for another version of himself to be given a chance to fly.

.

.

.

Sendai City Gymnasium, Nine years ago

Udai’s muscles were on fire, his heart pounding in his chest as he stood on the court. He could feel the energy of the crowd, the pressure bearing down on him like a weight. But Udai was in his element, the sweat on his skin cooling in the crisp air of the gymnasium.

This year prefectural tournament’s semi-final match was between Karasuno High School and Aoba Johsai Private High School was one of the most anticipated match. The bleachers were packed with supporters from both sides, cheering loudly for their teams in their own cheering trademark.

The stakes were high, and the tension could be felt all around.

Udai stood ready, his eyes locked on his opponents. He could see the determination in their faces, their muscles tense as they waited for the ball to be served. Karasuno was having their breakpoint as they took the lead with 19-19 and Udai was on top of his game, scoring point after point for his team.

The air was filled with the sound of sneakers squeaking on the polished floor, and the occasional grunt as players leapt into the air to spike the ball.

Both of the teams were evenly matched, but Karasuno had their most reliable weapon being on top of his game, their little ace.

The ball flew high and Udai jumped, his fingers brushing the ball as he sent it rocketing towards the opposite side of the court. The crowd erupted into cheers as the ball slammed into the floor, just out of reach of Aoba Johsai’s players.

Aoba Johsai called for a time out, their coach trying to rally his team. Udai looked around, his eyes flickering over his teammates. They were all sweating profusely, but they looked determined, their eyes locked on the ball as it was passed between them.

Udai knew they needed to keep up the pressure on Aoba Johsai, to keep pushing until they won the match.

The gymnasium was charged with energy, each player on the court pushing their bodies to the ultimate limit, sweat droplets beading down their foreheads, and muscles screaming in agony.

As the whistle blew across the gymnasium, Udai’s eyes shone with determination, and his breathing was calm and steady, even when he knew that the pressure was on his shoulders.

The ball was served, and both of the team sprang into action. The ball flew back and forth across the net, each team trying to gain the upper hand. Udai felt his frustration growing as the ball bounced back to Karasuno’s side, but he was ready.

The ball was passed quickly between his teammates, and Udai made his move, charging to the net with the ball in his hands, ready for impact. At this point, he knew that nothing but a top-class block would be there to block his view to the summit, ready to tackle every possibility of a no-touch spike, and with the ball now in his control, he had every responsibility to make it count.

As he rose, his eyes scanned the court, searching for the perfect opening. In his mind, he was already mapping out his path, calculating the best possible angle to use Aoba Johsai’s blockers as his tools to score.

With a mighty roar, he spiked the ball towards his opponents, aiming to the nastiest spot in between the blocker’s awaiting fingers.

Udai’s block out was not only accurate but driven with so much force that it left Aoba Johsai’s players unable to do anything but stand there in utter disbelief as they watched the ball sail past them.

The sound of the impact echoed through the gymnasium, and Udai watched as the ball dug into the floor. The crowd was on their feet, screaming and cheering as Karasuno took another point, bringing the score to 21-19.

Aoba Johsai’s players were relentless, refusing to let Karasuno get too far ahead.

The crowd roared as the ball flew over the net, the players on both sides leaping up to spike it down.

As the ball sailed towards him, Udai could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He had to make this one count. He leapt into the air, his arm outstretched, and connected with the ball.

It flew towards Aoba Johsai’s blockers, but they were ready for it. Their hands rose up to meet the ball, but Udai was too quick. He angled his hit just right, and the ball went sailing out of bounds.

Karasuno’s cheering section erupted into cheers as the referee blew his whistle, signaling the point. Udai could feel a rush of exhilaration as he landed back on the court.

But Aoba Johsai’s players weren’t going down without a fight. They regrouped quickly and came back strong, their own ace spiking the ball with incredible force. The ball smacked into the Karasuno blockers, and for a moment it seemed like it might be a point for Aoba Johsai.

Karasuno was also prepared. Their blockers pushed back, using the force of the spike to redirect the ball back towards Aoba Johsai’s side. And once again, Udai was ready.

He dashed towards the net, leaping up to meet the ball as it came over. There was a split second of hesitation as he calculated the angle, the force, the position of the blockers. And then he struck.

The ball hit Aoba Johsai’s blockers, then bounced off at an unexpected angle. It careened towards the back of the court, just out of reach of their defense. The scoreboard beeped again, calling another point for Karasuno.

The crowd was going wild now, the sound of Karasuno’s cheering section echoing throughout the gymnasium. Udai felt a jolt of pride as he high-fived his teammates, the adrenaline pumping through his veins.

The rest of the match was a blur of spikes, blocks, and dives. Karasuno and Aoba Johsai exchanged leads several times, each team pushing themselves to the limit.

The prefectural volleyball tournament match between the two powerschool of Miyagi Prefecture was reaching its climax with an intense battle that had the crowds on the edge of their seats.

The score was 24-21 with Karasuno edging ahead with match point. Udai rose to the occasion and delivered a powerful strike. The ball sailed over the net, bouncing off the outstretched fingers of Aoba Johsai’s blockers. The ecstatic fans erupted in unison.

With a collective roar, Karasuno had sealed their victory and secured their place in the finals.

For Udai, standing amidst the celebrations, his eyes were still on the game. It wasn’t just about winning, it was about giving it his all, pushing his limits to the max, connecting with his team and returning their trust.

As the excitement died and the crowds dispersed, Udai knew that the victory had been one to remember, and he would forever cherish this moment, a lingering triumph, in his heart.

He looked up at the scoreboard, he saw that the final score was 25-22 in Karasuno’s favor.

But he also felt a deep sense of respect for Aoba Johsai. They were a formidable opponent.

Udai looked across the court, locking eyes with Aoba Johsai’s ace.

“We have a great match, thank you very much!”

As the two teams exchanged a congratulatory handshake, Udai locked eyes with Aoba Johsai’s ace. There was a sense of mutual understanding between them, a shared appreciation for the game and the competition.

“You played a great game!” Udai said, admiring the other player’s composure and skill.

The ace of Aoba Johsai team nodded gratefully and replied. “So did you, number 10. You really pushed us to our limits out there. It almost feels like we’re facing a giant in the mid-air. A Little Giant.”

The Little Giant. Right. He remembered that name. A nickname so foreign, cringe, yet it clicked so much with him, so befitting like a missing puzzle to his nature.

“It was a great game! Next year. I’ll make sure to take our revenge on you, number 10.”

Udai smiled, feeling a sense of a good-rivalry with his opponent.

“Sure! We’ll accept the challenge with an open arm.”

As they walked away from each other, he couldn’t help but be grateful for the opportunity to test himself against such a talented adversary.

The gymnasium reverberated with cheers as Karasuno emerged victorious against Aoba Johsai. Kawada, the captain, led the team in a graceful bow towards the supporters in the cheering section. The entire team then surged towards the audience, as they felt humbled by the overwhelming support that fueled their victory.

“Thank you very much!”

As Udai caught his breath on the court, his eyes swept over the crowd of cheering Karasuno supporters.

Udai accidentally saw Phone—Sasaki Tsubasa—in the crowd, her eyes ablaze with admiration and awe.

She was there. Well, nothing is wrong about that.

“Let’s get back and stretch!”

“Alright, Sir!”

********************************************************

As the game ended, Udai walked down the hallway of Sendai City Gymnasium, lost in his thoughts. Suddenly, he heard someone calling him.

“Udai Senpai!”

He turned around and saw Sasaki Tsubasa—again—catching up to him, almost running.

Smiling, she greeted Udai with politeness and a glimmer in her eyes. A pure form of admiration, awe.

You again, but Udai couldn’t bring himself to utter such words. Suddenly afraid of being too impertinent or perhaps… would sound familiar somehow.

In the midst of their colliding world, Udai could hear some whispers passing through, recognizing him with the new calling, apparently perfectly retrieved among the cheering section and he wondered if his classmate, the genius inventor of the nickname would show up any moment now.

Those whispers were merely something but:

That’s him, that’s him! The little ace of our school! The cool hitter!

That’s the Little Giant, right there!

He’s really The Little Giant! He’s really that little…

Suddenly, when his world had become too noisy of those whispers, another voice rang clearly to clear everything out of his hearing. Almost as clear as the sound of a summer rain.

“You were amazing!”

Sasaki Tsubasa… he almost forgot that the girl was right there. Eyes still ablaze with admiration.

“That spike in the end was incredible! What was that?” Tsubasa exclaimed, a glimmer in her eyes.

“What was that? Are we supposed to call it a flying spike?”

“Flying—”

“You really can fly, Senpai! You’re above the net for some time like in slow motion!”

Udai was surprised by her sudden compliment, yet… It felt odd. It does feel odd when you’re not expecting something at all.

Thank you—would be enough to end this little commotion, wouldn’t it?

“I’m sorry for being snotty—”

Snotty?

A few crowds that passed by them brought along some whispers about Udai’s new nickname. Tsubasa followed them with her gaze, her mouth echoing the new calling in an audible utter.

“The Little Giant.”

Her gaze returned to Udai, scrutinizing the athlete with a shadow of a smile in her gaze. Her admiration was still there.

“Oh, right. You’re the giant-power-in-a-small-body, The Little Giant of Karasuno!”

Her smile blooming, surprising to Udai. Once again, odd.

“You even have a cool nickname! The new idol Of the whole school! Good for you, Senpai!”

“Thank you.”

No. Wait— what? Thank you?

Sasaki Tsubasa gave two thumbs up to Udai, almost making him flinch.

“Looks like I’ll have to ask for your autograph soon.”

Udai frowned, unfamiliar with long interactions like this.

He already said his Thank you, but why wasn’t this little commotion over?

“Oh- or perhaps, instead of an autograph, Senpai, should I just ask for one of your sketches?”

Sasaki Tsubasa returned with a look on his face that seemed to strike something in Udai, something he hadn’t realized was there all along. Something... odd.

“Senpai, you can draw, can you? Not to mention being unfairly good about it either. Instead of just a signature, it’s better if I get one of your sketches and sell it as A drawing by The Little Giant of Karasuno.”

Studying the look on Udai’s face, Sasaki Tsubasa immediately continued, “Kidding! There’s no way I would do something like that.”

Sasaki Tsubasa’s smile blossomed. For Udai, it was as if he was being stranded in a foreign land he had never been to before.

Just as the world was about to fall silent in his senses, a voice returned him to the present day.

“Udai-kun!”

Udai, recognizing that voice, reacted almost in surprise. He turned his head. From his right, a blonde teammate, third year Tsukishima Akiteru, approached him. He came with a face that has I have something to scold you about because you’re wandering too much and now’s the right time to move you ass before Kawada scolding both of us when his eyes caught the other presence that was there with Udai.

Udai grew restless to the way Tsukishima Akiteru smiled understandingly at Sasaki Tsubasa.

The blonde finally turned to Udai after greeting Sasaki Tsubasa, delivering the expected words with, inexplicably, a more subtle tone.

“It’s time to gather. Kawada and the others are waiting.”

Udai replied formally.

His eyes greeted Sasaki Tsubasa briefly and muttered something like then, almost under his breath.

Walking with Tsukishima Akiteru in a content silence for a while, Udai could not expect that the question that came to him was as silly as, “Was that your girlfriend, Udai-kun?”

He hoped that Tsukishima Akiteru was joking when he said that, but he was serious.

“No.”

.

.

.

Present day, Tokyo

Obviously, no was better than a hurtful yes after all.

Eventually, the match ended, and Udai realized he had been sitting in the restaurant for over an hour. He paid his bill and left, the sounds of the cheering still ringing in his ears. He felt rejuvenated, refreshed, and rather, quite ready to go back being the manga artist that he is.

As he walked to the station, Udai found himself humming a tune he couldn’t quite place. It was a song from his high school days, something he hadn’t thought about in years.

Udai had agreed that the past is in the past, content with what the present provides him with. This sky-rocketing career as a successful manga artist, a well-planned future down the road… but ever since the unexpected encounter with Tsubasa, he started to long for the past.

It almost feels like he was convinced to reopen the locked box packed with the memory of his youth, in contrast to what he had promised himself.

Udai remembers that their story didn’t end perfectly, almost like a manuscript that was left behind because the writer no longer found the resonance to fill the pages with. Their story ended on a blank page.

Now, in the present day where Udai has left that page behind, even believing that he has almost completely abandoned the whole book, questions arise in his mind about whether it is true that his feelings have died since the last word of their story was written? Was it true that all his hopes about them had been dashed since they stopped halfway?

His promise was about to keep going further. Halting midway was okay but turning back was not. It’s not that he is okay reading his book backward, isn’t he?

Her eyes whispered that it was okay to go back. In the end, he halted. Regret covering the walls of his heart.

Before him, after a long time, memories rang.

“Udai-san?”

Her voice warm, as was her gaze. It seemed like only yesterday that they first met as two strangers when Tsubasa’s phone was suddenly there in his bag.

She waved, just like the first-year student he met nine years ago in high school. Her smile was full of the friendliness he had almost forgotten, almost like a warm greetings of spring after the cold melted into the ground.

Nine years have passed. Is he being greedy if he was looking forward to this meeting too much? Is he being greedy if he started hoping for something he had destroyed eight years ago?

But this one’s on the fate, isn’t it?

Udai had never expected anything like this before. If only that day fate had not brought them into an unexpected encounter, then he might have continued to move further into the future he had planned without having to halt midway like this.

Udai had never invited her even in his hopes. Let alone hope, he knew that he had no right to invite her back again.

If after this his heart was filled with greed, it’s on the fate. It’s on the fate for bringing her back.

Before him, Tsubasa’s pace halted. She smiled, friendly greeting the only man responsible for the worst thing that ever happened in her youth.

“What a coincidence that I ran into you here.”

Oh, what a coincidence.

—

[hellobunny044]

Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

********************************************************

an original Haikyu AU pairing Udai Tenma (the o little giant

warning!!: containing some manga content.

word count: 6318

********************************************************

Panel - 4

Udai knew that being a mangaka was a tough job, but he never imagined it would be this messy. He was neck-deep in deadlines, pages, and ink blots, with barely enough time to get a decent night’s sleep, let alone a weekend off. Yet, he continued to pour his heart and soul into his manga series, determined to make it a success.

This morning, he woke up to the blaring sound of his phone, a call from his dearest editor, Akaashi Keiji.

—————————————————————

“Good morning, Udai-san.”

—————————————————————

“Morning, Akaashi-san.” Yawning, Udai immediately closed his mouth with his palm then trailed over the wall to read the clock whilst listening to his editor’s kind reminder of his deadline approaching fast at the end of this month.

—————————————————————

“I’m calling to remind you about the deadline. It’s coming at the end of this week. Please start taking it seriously, Udai-san.”

—————————————————————

“Understood, Akaashi-san. There is no slacking off this time.”

When Udai said there is no slacking off, he meant everything about it.

This morning when he woke up, Udai was asleep clutching to the paper of his work for the next volume of Zombie Knight Zomb’ish. He didn’t need Akaashi Keiji to keep reminding him of the deadline he already set his own alarm on.

He is really working hard this time.

—————————————————————

“Please be real about it this time.”

—————————————————————

Udai sighed.

“Should we switch to facetime, Akaashi-san?”

—————————————————————

“I would prefer it this way. Then, don’t forget to have a proper breakfast, Udai-san. You’ll finish the manga earlier if you eat a proper meal.”

—————————————————————

Bowing to the air, Udai replied, “Thank you so much for your hard work of being so considerate about my condition, Akaashi-san. Have a great day ahead!”

The call ended with Udai yawning once again, tossing his phone to the side where there was a pile of paper almost covering the ground where he remembered he was sleeping so comfortably last night.

He took a deep breath and looked around his room. The walls were plastered with sketches, storyboards, and reference images. His desk was cluttered with pens, papers, and empty cups of coffee. His tablets are still on. A stray sock lay on the floor, and the curtains were drawn shut, casting the room in a pale, eerie light.

Udai slowly got out of his bed, stretched his arms, and headed to the bathroom. He splashed water on his face and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was a mess, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to tame the wild strands.

As he walked out of his apartment, he noticed that the sun had barely risen, and the streets were still relatively empty. He decided to head to the convenience store anyway. The early morning air was refreshing, and he felt a sense of calm wash over him.

As he walked, he saw a group of high schoolers, laughing and chatting as they headed to school.

Udai smiled, remembering his own high school days. Back then, he never could have imagined that he would become a mangaka, let alone a successful one. He had always loved drawing, but he had never considered it a viable career option.

As he approached the convenience store, he saw a small dog tied to a post. The dog was wagging its tail and looking up at him with big, soulful eyes. Udai crouched down and stroked its head, and the dog licked his hand.

The dog barked, and Udai chuckled.

He bought some instant breakfast and headed back to his apartment, feeling a sense of contentment. He had almost successfully completed another volume, and he was proud of his work.

.

.

.

Miyagi Prefecture, Nine years ago

Eight o’clock in the morning meant it’s the time for morning practice for all sports club members including volleyball.

About half an hour before morning practice began, the first year club members had arrived early, ahead of the second and third year senpais. Only then, fifteen minutes before the scheduled morning practice, did the senpais join in, filling the club room to change and get ready for the morning practice session.

As with most sports club rooms, a deafening noise greeted the opening of the door: a serious and jocular chatter of the first years, a few second years being silly by throwing some clothes at each other, some affectionate callings and amused laughter that echoed like a thunderbolt in the morning, the melodious humming that outshone the coolest diva in the world, and a few other performances.

Crowded.

Crowded, contrary to the ideal atmosphere some people want to start their day with, Udai was one of them.

Rather than distinguishing himself with the title ace attached to every cell in his body, or perhaps on an invisible neon plaque attached to his head, Udai chose to join in with a greeting that was uttered casually under his breath when he opened the door. His reasoning was simple: that he did not want to ruin the atmosphere with his presence, or rather that he did not want to disturb his own inner tranquility by blending into the noise in the club room.

The greetings that passed by him since he entered the club room to get ready, were replied in a nonchalant tone as he walked towards his locker.

“Good morning, Udai-kun!”

The only person who consistently greeted him in a friendly manner was Tsukishima Akiteru. A third-year club member with a tall, lanky build—far towering over Udai—his speed and spike performance were fairly consistent as one of Karasuno’s wing spiker, but he had never been a starting player like Udai.

There can only be six people on the court. When the game was on, and the ball was in the air, it was a rule that there had to be sacrifices to keep the players at six. For a long time, it has been an absolute rule that those who were to fill six spot om the court are the stronger, are the ones who are able to bear the weight of the responsibility of keeping the ball in play.

In this case, Tsukishima Akiteru might not have been one of those six for quite some time, but Udai was one of them, so that was enough.

Bowing his head slightly to the blonde senpai, Udai replied, “Good morning, Tsukishima-san.”

After changing into more proper clothes for the training session, Udai who was about to join the gymnasium with the others, was again prevented by Tsukishima with something she said.

“You didn’t eat curry-flavored pork buns anymore, did you?”

Udai stopped, peeking over his shoulder.

Tsukishima chuckled. His hand behind his head scratched awkwardly even though it wasn’t itchy at all. “Ah, sorry. I think I’m being slightly too impertinent here.”

At times when Udai gave unreadable expressions like this, Tsukishima, or anyone else, would always feel that Udai was a big guy.

“I was just joking, Udai-kun.” Tsukishima Akiteru immediately followed up his words. Both hands were raised sufficiently in front of his chest, his lips curled into a friendly smile.

It’s not that Udai would care so much about that either.

“Oh. I see.” Udai replied casually but politely. “I still ate curry flavored pork bun yesterday after practice, though.”

“Hee? Really?” Tsukishima gave a surprised expression.

“After all, it was delicious, wasn’t it?”

“Well... you’re right about that. But…”

Studying Tsukishima Akiteru’s expression, Udai immediately answered the obvious concern on his senpai’s face by saying, “About the the other day, I didn’t really go to the bathroom.”

Tsukishima Akiteru paused, blinking innocently at his underclassman who said everything oh-so-casually.

“I just needed an excuse to leave practice for some reason and saying something like that as an excuse was the best choice.”

Half-stammering, also shocked at the innocence and bluntness of his underclassman, Tsukishima Akiteru immediately warned, “Oi, Udai-kun. Keep your voice down. If Kawada-kun hears you, he’ll scold you for lying.”

“And?”

Tsukishima Akiteru was dumbfounded, “Huh?”

“It can't be helped, right? It happened.”

Logically, Udai had a clear point to make. Tsukishima Akiteru also knew that Kawada might inherited their coach’s strict nature, however, he was not someone who would strip away his own discretion to scold some underclassmen for lying.

Udai watched the change in Tsukishima Akiteru’s expression that had just been sighing like a man in pain, brightened up with a smile curling his lips.

“Udai-kun, you see, if I look closer about it, I think you do have a feel of a big guy sometimes.”

Udai frowned, not understanding the difficult term Tsukishima Akiteru used in his response. His head tilted as he asked, “What does that mean, Tsukishima-san?”

Tsukishima Akiteru smiled, “It’s nothing. What it means is that our ace always looks energetic and reliable even when no one is watching.”

Udai did not expect a friendly pat on his shoulder.

“You sound and look exactly like the ace!”

“Is that how you see me, Tsukishima-san?”

Tsukishima Akiteru laughed at Udai Tenma’s unnecessary question.

“What’s with that, Udai-kun? I obviously see you as the ace because that’s how everyone sees you, because you’re the ace. And apparently, our ace is always in his prime every morning.”

Udai always worked on that, to be in three times better shape than the others every day in order to last longer in the court.

“Hee? I see.”

Udai didn’t know that he would smile until he actually did. But he had no regrets when he said, “Well then, I’m glad to know that. I worked hard for that anyway.”

It was the first time Tsukishima or anyone else who might have witnessed the conversation had seen Udai Tenma smile other than in a match when he scored a point with a beautiful block out of their opponent.

“Oi, did you see that? Udai-san is smiling!”

“As I thought, the ace is scarry!”

“He makes a big impression when he smiles.”

“It’s obvious that you don’t want to see him smiling like that in front of you.”

“He’s untouchable. You know... it’s like that... he has these giant iron walls around him and Tsukishima-san is the only one willing to climb up there just to maintain a good communication with him.”

“Same goes to Kawada-san.”

“Yes, it’s true that our captain is always like that. But that’s the captain’s job, right? To always embrace all the club members equally. If you look closer, Udai-san doesn’t actually have a good relationship with anyone in the club, right? He’s quite a loner.”

Udai was indeed plagued by many misfortunes, one of which was his inability to connect with his surroundings. His habit of trusting himself had turned out to have grown into a flaw on the other side where that confidence had made him move away from something called connected.

He had no friends. Not even one. Not in the club, not in class, not in the neighborhood or anywhere else.

Unlike how some people would come in pairs as a package with various connections, or how they would come in groups, Udai had no one he could call a partner in this sport. Not with another wing spiker, not with any of the available setters, let alone a libero.

As you can see, Udai stands alone and proud, doing it all by himself. He guided, carried, and embraced himself without worrying what his surroundings said about him.

However, that was what made him stronger.

“But that’s cool... he was able to survive and stand at the top with only himself.”

Where weak people go to seek support by surrounding themselves with stronger people to build confidence, Udai faithfully accompanies himself, embracing and holding tight to all his weaknesses.

Up until now, he had always felt that he was enough on his own. Udai had not yet reached the point where he would need someone, and he was sure that he would always be like that in any case.

“Has everyone gathered?” Kawada, the team captain stood with his waist girded in front of everyone, ready to lead the morning training session.

His gaze traveled throughout the crowd to check all the faces of his members, making sure that no one was missing.

“Counting starts!”

At their captain’s mark, all members counted from the higher year to the lower.

“All present.” The vice captain said after making sure everyone had arrived and was not late.

Kawada turned to Udai, studied him for a while and called out to him, “What about you?”

Udai returned the question casually in tone but formally, “What?”

“Are you joining the run?”

Udai didn’t miss the innuendo in his captain’s serious question, but chose to let it slide away and answered calmly, “I am.”

Kawada then turned after leading the rest of the team to line up neatly and start the morning practice session by running some lap.

********************************************************

Usually after the morning training session, Udai would either go to class to attend or skip class if he was not in the mood to listen to the teacher’s boring, sleepy explanations.

As for academics, Udai had a pretty good academic report even being an athlete, but not so good as to earn a title like top student. At the very least, it was enough for a future beyond volleyball. In short, he was not too smart, but also not too intoxicated with volleyball to the point of falling behind in his studies.

However, one thing:

Drawing.

On those occasions when Udai felt that being in class was too boring, he would seclude himself somewhere where the teachers wouldn’t find him, and pass the time by watching volleyball matches or drawing.

This time, he was sure that class would be boring: Japanese literature was not his favorite subject. It was nothing new that Udai almost always got red marks in that subject. It’s not that he cared.

So, here he was, in a spot at the end of the corridor near the dump, spending his time drawing after watching the latest volleyball match he had never seen.

What he drew was something he had remembered from the match he had watched in a small doodle on the blank side of his small notebook.

Udai was almost used to the quiet atmosphere that accompanied him finishing his drawing, as usual, when something interrupted him. Not just interrupting, but also stopping what he was doing.

“Oh? So, Udai senpai is also good at drawing?”

Udai’s shoulders straightened in surprise at a voice that he was not expecting.

Realizing that he was being watched, Udai turned in the direction from which the voice came to greet whoever was there. There she was, a girl who instead of a karasuno uniform blazer, wore a matching black fitted cardigan. Brown hair that he remembered blew loosely one day, was now in a makeshift curly ponytail.

Where did she come from?

Sasaki Tsubasa, the girl who had been a presence that Udai had never expected at a time like this, was standing while looking at him with friendliness in her eyes. A polite but friendly smile was rolled up for him.

With Udai’s lack of skill about how to greet an acquaintance, he just stared at her.

Sasaki Tsubasa thought that Udai might not remember her, so she took the initiative to do something that might make him remember. Immediately, she took out her phone from her pocket and showed it to Udai.

Right. The phone was the thing that connected them.

“This.” Hope flashed in Sasaki Tsubasa’s eyes, that hopefully with what she did, Udai would remember something about her.

I know you.

But looking closely, their phones really do look exactly the same. For a moment, Udai was tempted to assume that what she was holding was his phone.

Udai remembered her.

“But I’ve installed a charm for mine.”

Sasaki Tsubasa moved her cell phone to reveal the white charm she had put on her phone to distinguish it. It wasn’t just Sasaki Tsubasa who did something about it. Udai also, on an initiative, put a number 10 sticker on his phone.

It was nothing, though. Udai just ran out of ideas for something more serious than a sticker of his jersey number.

Udai remembered it. There was no way he would forget such an embarrassing accident about their switched phone overnight.

I knew you. The question is, what was she doing there at this hour. Did she skip class too?

“Once again, thank you for the other day, Senpai.”

Oh, I’ve had enough of that thank you.

Sasaki Tsubasa smiled at Udai, “At that time, I was positive about losing my phone. But it turns out you kept it.”

“No, I didn’t. I did not keep it.” Didn’t I tell you exactly the same thing back then?

Sasaki Tsubasa only smiled at Udai’s answer.

Slightly, her eyes returned to peering at what Udai was drawing.

“What are you drawing?”

Udai knew he was being childish by immediately closing his notebook, let alone about saying things like it’s none of your business, in response to her question, but did all of it anyway.

“Oh? You came all the way here to draw,” Sasaki Tsubasa nodded. “It must be some very important drawing, I suppose!”

Studying the look in Udai’s eyes, Sasaki Tsubasa immediately corrected herself, “Ah, none of my business. My bad. I’m sorry.”

Udai frowned, but immediately sighed after seeing Sasaki Tsubasa smiling awkwardly.

“You’re a first year, aren’t you?” Udai asked as he put his notebook back into his bag.

“I am.”

“Then why are you here?” Closing his bag, Udai turned back to Sasaki Tsubasa.

“Hm?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Hm? I’m here for—”

“Are you skipping class?”

Sasaki Tsubasa’s face was innocent, the blink of her eyes showed her disagreement with what Udai was accusing her of.

“Ehh?”

“You are?”

“I,” Sasaki Tsubasa’s hand pointed behind her, “instead of cutting class, I came here to take out the trash.”

Sasaki Tsubasa closed with, “Besides, it’s break time now, Senpai.” She showed a small watch she was wearing and pointed to the clock that read ten o’clock, “here, look.”

Udai felt stupid.

What exactly was he doing?

“Instead of that, what are you doing here, Senpai?”

Udai was almost surprised by the question, never expecting that it would be back, nor ever expecting that he would be able to stand for more than five minutes to interact with anyone other than the volleyball club members.

Sasaki Tsubasa paused to study Udai’s expression for a moment, then threw out the question, “Don’t tell me… you’re the one cutting class here, Senpai! Are you?”

“N-no.”

Wait a minute— of all the things Udai couldn’t understand about this, why did he have to stammer? So what if he got caught? So what if he cut class time?

Sasaki Tsubasa who saw Udai’s reaction, changed her expression, as surprised as he was by the unexpected reaction. She did not expect to see a Senpai being intimidated enough by a joke to stammer. Besides, she also still couldn’t equate this person, the same person she met at the gate when he returned her phone, with the volleyball club member who gave her the wrong cell phone the other day.

Were they really the same person? Were those two the same Udai Tenma that was now standing before her?

“O-oh. W-well, then.”

Udai still had time to glance at Sasaki Tsubasa before he walked away, not missing how something flushed in her eyes as she flinched slightly, as if about to say something that he will never get a chance to hear.

********************************************************

A week on, today the boys volleyball club hosted some guests from Date Tech High School for a scheduled practice match.

Like any other day, the volleyball team stayed on track with morning practice and back to class until the practice match began.

“Oi, Udai!”

Just before Udai left the classroom, one of his classmates intercepted him.

“Today, the volleyball team hosted some guests from Date Tech, is that right?”

“That’s right.” He answered casually.

“Hee... so you’re playing against all of them?”

“That’s right.”

“With those big guys?”

“Yes.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“You? Against those big guys? Being this small? Are you kidding me?”

“I hope I am kidding you.” Udai didn’t flinch, still casually parrying his classmate.

“W-well, then… will the gymnasium be open to the public?”

“Yes, it will.”

“Then... I’ll go watch. We’ll go. I’ll watch how you’ll play against those big guys of Date Tech. No problem, right? Or are you scared?”

“No.”

Udai walked away after saying that. He did not believe in others, but he believed in himself that he would play as usual regardless of whoever or how many people came to watch him. After all, this time, he would just work hard as usual to maintain his position as a starting player, and his honor as an ace, the ace.

The scheduled practice match began with the familiar faces of the Date Tech High School boys' volleyball team.

The school, famous for their 'Iron Wall', has one of the highest block rates in the entire prefecture, if not the whole of Japan.

Today, their blockers vowed to stop every Karasuno’s wing spiker in the aerial battle, and Udai was certainly no exception. Being the ace means carrying the burden of being marked by blockers, the burden of having to perform as the main scoring machine of a lineup of wing spikers, and also, bearing the weight of every toss at some crucial times. In a matchup against a high-blocking team like Date Tech High School, every point weighs differently, and Udai knows it.

Udai knew that the iron wall across the net was his biggest obstacle, and he knew that he didn’t have an effective weapon to fight with them. He knew that from any perspective, he was at a disadvantage of being much smaller than his tall and bulky opponents, but his coach, Ukai Ikkei’s words saved him before he could drown himself in self-destruction.

“Volleyball is a sport where you never look down. It’s a sport where you always keep your heads up, and look forward to a way to fight.”

The practice match began with a briefing by each coach of the teams.

“Oi, ace!”

One of Karasuno’s starting players from the second year lineup called out. Udai turned without saying anything, waiting for what the other boy was going to say.

His smile grew when he saw Udai, the boy who is a 187 cm middle blocker. “As always, we have high hopes for you. Please don’t disappoint our expectations.”

“Hey, don’t make him feel burdened with his role by saying such things!” The Libero, a pale-haired boy from the third-year lineup said. He turned to Udai, “Don’t worry about it too much. Udai, you just need to play as usual. Don’t worry about the block, I’ll be right behind for a follow when you go up for a spike.”

“As expected of our handsome libero, Tokito-san!” One of the first-year starting players chimed in, a wing spiker like Udai.

“But really, Date Tech will forever be a troublesome opponent for our ace. I’m just concerned about the spikers, especially the ace. That’s why I gave him encouragement to get him a little more excited.”

“Hell, yeah. You sure it wasn’t pressure, though, Sakuma?”

“Hee? Of course not, Tokito-san. It’s a form of motivation— well... unless our ace is scared,” the middle blocker, Sakuma, turned to Udai. With a smirk, he asked, “Don’t tell me, are you scared, ace?”

Udai curled up a smile, not realizing until he saw the starting players were a little taken aback by what they were witnessing.

“Breaking through three-men blocks is the ace’s role, and something I’ve done many times. There’s no way I’m scared.”

The starting players were stunned by Udai’s statement. His last sentence brought a blizzard of coldness that sent shivers down to their spines.

“I didn’t expect anything about being scared when dealing with three-men blocks even if they are Date Tech. I’m going to play and score points for the team.”

In Udai’s eyes, confidence sparkled like a burning fire. Right now, there was nothing scarier than staring into his eyes.

The middle blocker, Sakuma, grinned, “Heeh… you’re fine, aren’t you?”

Udai smiled back at Sakuma, “Of course. You’d better say you’re fine against a 190cm wing spiker, too.”

Sakuma childishly replied while exclaiming, “Oi! Ain’t no way I’ll be losing to a first year!”

Udai chuckled, one of the rare things that never failed to surprise the club members. However, for the team members, seeing Udai Tenma this relaxed before a match was more or less a threat.

His laughter could be briefly interpreted as a warning: I’m in my prime condition to score points for the team, so everyone better be on top of their game.

For the first years, it was a blessing. Because they got to see Udai Tenma, the ace, at the top of his game in the match.

Before long, the captain rejoined and announced that they would receive the ball first.

“Karasuno!!! Fight!!!” — and the practice match began.

True to his word, Udai did his job as the ace by breaking through the famous Date Tech three-men block and winning the aerial battle by scoring a block-out from Date Tech or launching attacks between the hands of the blockers.

Today, more than usual, Udai could see across the net more clearly. His concentration did not fade even though he was laughing or chatting casually with his team mates until the match ended.

The practice match with Date Tech High School ended in a 2-0 victory for Karasuno. Udai earned two service aces with spike serves and scored many points through block outs, as well as a straight spike to close out the final set point.

After the practice match ended, the gymnasium was kind of crowded. It wasn’t that Udai didn’t realize that his classmates had actually come to watch his match, he just didn’t care that they did.

“Oi! Udai deme!”

A familiar voice called out from the second floor, Udai turned his head and saw his classmates lined up there.

“What the hell was that!? You can really jump high and take on those big guys!”

For a moment, the world stopped and focused on what Udai’s classmate was saying.

“Are you really that good at volleyball? You should have said it sooner!”

Sakuma, the middle blocker, replied on behalf of Udai, “And what of it? Did he surprise you guys?”

Udai glanced at Sakuma without saying anything.

“Hell, yeah! He’s so fucking great that I’m close to dying for being so surprised!”

That half-cursed sentence made Sakuma and the rest of the volleyball team laugh.

“Did you see that? That’s our left’s power.”

Udai didn’t feel that Sakuma should say that given that this was just a practice match. But anyway, they still won this one straight 2-0 against Date Tech High School.

“Oi, Udai!”

Udai turned back to his classmate, this time answering, “What?” But in a lower voice.

“You fought the tall guys from Date Tech and made them look like nothing, what are you, a giant?”

“Giant?” Udai frowned.

It didn't make sense. With a body this small? A giant?

“He’s too small to be called a giant!” The captain, Kawada, answered that one.

Udai turned to the captain, agreeing with his words.

“Leave it alone! Isn’t that great? Having more than enough strength to take on three tall guys from Date Tech... he looks like a giant!”

Udai turned back to his classmate.

“Then what of it, giant-power-in-a-small-body?”

“Kawada-san, that’s too long.”

“Kawada, you really suck at making up some nicknames.”

“Ano na omaera, I’ve tried my fucking best here.”

“That’s not bad.”

Their coach, Ukai Ikkei’s voice distracted Udai and the others. The middle-aged man rolled a crooked smile as he looked at Udai, “Giant power in a small body... just like you.”

Udai had nothing good to say except a small mutter of — “Thank you…” under his breath.

“I know!”

Their attention was again diverted by Udai’s classmate who called out from the second floor.

“Little Giant! Udai Tenma is a Little Giant!”

Udai gasped, startled by the strange sensation he felt inside himself after his classmate gave him an unfamiliar nickname but... seemed to be connected to something inside him.

Behind him, Ukai Ikkei, the coach, laughed, savoring each word in a pleasant tone. “Little Giant, huh? Not bad.”

The Little Giant was born on that day. One afternoon in the gymnasium of Karasuno High School. He was born from the perfect embodiment of a massive force of a giant in the relatively small body of a boy called Udai Tenma.

Before Udai could properly register everything, the people in the gymnasium that day, starting with all the club members, and anyone who listened to his classmate’s ridiculous declaration, began to recognize him as The Little Giant of Karasuno.

“The Little Giant... oi, oi, oi, that name is pretty cool, isn’t it?”

Udai ignored the commotion going on behind him, spreading his gaze to the second floor, about to return to his classmates, but what he caught instead was the familiar face of Sasaki Tsubasa who immediately straightened up when he saw her.

Her eyes sparkled when their eyes came in contact, making Udai frown, and almost tilting his head. Then again, Sasaki Tsubasa showed her phone and waved at him.

Should I wave my hand too?

It had been a week since they last saw each other and Tsubasa had accidentally caught him cutting class and drawing in the back corridor, making a total of two weeks since the switched phone incident. Udai almost questioned how he could meet her here again if he didn’t remember that the gymnasium would be open to the public for any practice matches with other schools.

Although it seemed like things were starting to connect for them since the switched phone incident, Udai had no time to think about anything when the captain’s voice echoed out ordering them to gather and send their guest off.

********************************************************

Tokyo, present day

In his little studio filled with stacks of papers, Udai was transfixed when he rediscovered the notebook he had hidden from Akaashi that night, drowning in memories of the past that flooded his head, leaving his deadline to be met in two days.

Before he knew it, he had taken himself way too far down the memory lane in his head from each sheet of the notebook that contained his scribbles and drawings on high school days. And before he knew it, he had neglected his work for quite some time.

Oh, Sasaki Tsubasa and her influence in his life was indeed huge. However, it was forced to end when his phone rang.

The deafening ring of his cell phone made Udai jump in surprise, finally realizing that he had let his guard down.

The word Akaashi Keiji on his phone screen made him immediately rush to take the call, quickly turning on the tab and starting to outline something he should have been doing.

“Oh? Akaashi-san, moshi moshi! It’s Udai here.”

———————————————————————

“Good afternoon, Udai-san. I’m calling to make sure that you’re staying on track with the new volume.”

————————————————————————

“O-oh! Of course I’m working on that. Very hard. Really hard.”

Udai laughed, trying to sound confident to trick Akaashi. But laughing was the wrong choice, because his laughter had become way too awkward to be believable. Then he’s busted.

————————————————————————

“This time, how many hours did you abandon your tab to daydream about someone else’s script that could have been better if you had written it, Udai-san?”

————————————————————————

It was indeed one of Udai’s bad habits that Akaashi was very familiar with. This time, however, although Akaashi was right about Udai neglecting his work on the tab to daydream, it was not about any script.

But still, half of it, Akaashi guessed it perfectly.

Udai shuddered in horror, unconsciously saying under his breath to Akaashi on the other end of the line. “What the hell? Is he a shaman?”

When Akaashi sighed, Udai immediately covered his mouth, accidentally nudging the tab.

————————————————————————

“I can hear you very clearly, Udai-san.”

————————————————————————

“Alright alright, my bad.” Udai said in a tone that sounded like he was wincing.

Then he stopped, frozen.

————————————————————————

“Which part of it?”

————————————————————————

When Udai realized, he seemed to have accidentally closed the window of his unsaved work. His entire work on the last part of the latest volume of his manga is gone. In shock, his voice caught in his throat. His mouth gaped: desperation welled up in his eyes.

What a beautiful day to mess things up yet he did.

He is doomed.

————————————————————————

“Udai-san? Are you still there?”

————————————————————————

Udai immediately end the call just when Akaashi was calling out, ignoring him completely. Why would he care when he just created for himself, another mess?

Oh, What a beautiful misfortune!

Udai sat formally, very quietly behind his desk.

Placing the pen on the table, his hands met his head slowly. His eyes resignedly stared at the blank screen of his tab. A second later, Udai yelled while pulling his hair as he cursed himself with all kinds of words calling out to his own stupidity.

Another of Udai Tenma’s weaknesses was that he would drag on little things like this.

About thirty minutes after that, Akaashi came to check on him at the apartment, afraid that something had happened to the artist.

Akaashi was relieved when Udai was still there to open the door, as it meant nothing dangerous happened to him. But seeing how lethargic Udai looked, completely lackluster, almost lost, with a mumbling mouth, Akaashi’s strong hunch told him that something bad’s happening.

“Udai-san? What’s wrong?” Akaashi frowned, briefly peeking inside Udai’s apartment.

Udai immediately put on a resigned face in front of Akaashi.

Once again, Akaashi asked, this time looking more concerned. “What’s going on?”

“Akaashi-san....” Udai called out to the editor languidly, his expression pitiable.

“What am I gonna do about this?”

“About what— what is going on, Udai-san?”

“What am I gonna do about this?”

Akaashi sighed, “First of all, please explain your situation—”

“What am I gonna do about this?” Udai’s voice is getting more and more pitiable, louder.

“Please understand that I won’t be able to comprehend anything, let alone know what to do to help if you don’t explain the whole situation properly—”

“What am I gonna do about this?” Udai sounded even more pleading.

Akaashi almost lost his temper, “Can you stop that and get to the point, please?”

Udai jumped in before Akaashi even got to the end of his sentence, “I lost the final draft for the latest volume of Zomb'ish!”

It took Akaashi three seconds longer to digest what he had just heard. “Everything?”

“Everything—”

“Everything!?” Akaashi exclaimed.

Udai swore that it was the loudest he had ever heard of Akaashi Keiji.

Udai quickly shook his head, “No. Not everything. Not the whole thing. Just the ending. Really, I’m actually fine.”

“How can you say you’re fine after losing the manuscript for the final part of the latest volume of your manga?”

“Iya— I mean—”

“Did someone hack your computer?”

“Hack my computer? No—”

Akaashi took out his phone, “I’ll call someone to handle that.”

“No, no. Akaashi-san,” Udai quickly hold Akaashi’s hand. “My computer is fine. My tab is fine. All of it— all of them are fine. Nothing was hacked and needs to be dealt with. I just accidentally closed the unsaved draft’s window.”

There was silence. Udai and Akaashi locked gazes.

Akaashi pulled his hand from Udai and adjusted his glasses. “So…”

Udai screwed up. He knew. And for sure, his Mr. Perfectionist Editor would not tolerate anything about it.

“I swear I didn’t mean to do anything about what’s happening. Humans make mistakes sometimes, Akaashi-san.”

“And you lost the draft of the final part of the new volume of your manga.”

“Right.” Udai nodded in agreement. Akaashi had a point.

“Your deadline comes in two days.”

“You know, Akaashi-san, In a situation like this—”

“All you have to do is get inside and start working on it all over again.” Akaashi cut him off quickly. His last words was a nightmare. “I’ll be here to make sure you don’t dwell like the world is falling apart. Let’s get to work, Udai-san.”

Akaashi walked away leaving Udai at the entrance and fit himself to some slippers on the entrance.

Udai the followed not long after, walking languidly while staring at Akaashi’s back, “This isn’t what I expected at all.”

When Akaashi turned, Udai straightened up and stopped.

“But publishing new volumes on time is what your fans expected from you, Udai-san.”

Akaashi had a very good point right there.

Udai stood up straight and formal, both hands clasped in front of his body, as he said, “Understood, sir.”

Akaashi sighed, “Let’s get to work, Udai-san.”

“Yes, sir.”

—

next chapter coming soon.

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Panels. | Series

panel. in manga art, panels refers to the frame that wraps around one moment in time.

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an original Haikyu AU pairing Udai Tenma (the og little giant)

warning!!: containing some manga content.

word count: 4085

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Panel - 3

A month had passed since Udai had unexpectedly bumped into Sasaki Tsubasa. She was someone he hadn’t seen or spoken to in eight years. He lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, replaying their last encounter in his mind.

That day, they had parted ways on good terms. She excused herself telling him to take good care of his health and himself. It would be a lie if he said he was alright after their last encounter.

About the past that once connected the two of them, Udai believed that it was something beautiful that he had been holding tight in his heart, and that’s why there was still a remnant of it all behind his memory. One day in the past, they were fine, connected, and then, suddenly, there was nothing. No more conversations, no more fights, no more anything. They had simply gone their separate ways, leaving everything hanging between them.

It was nothing. It’s just that he wondered if things could have been different if they had just communicated better…. if that day he had just grasped the chance to explain himself…. But the reality was that he was too afraid to reach out, or perhaps too proud.

He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind.

As he was drowning in his own thoughts, someone rang a bell to his apartment. He opened his eyes, not expecting anyone to come at this time of the day. He turned and checked the clock, eight pm. Who could it be?

As he arrived at the entrance, Udai was presented with the sight of a very familiar young man with glasses behind the locked door of his apartment, the very Akaashi perfectionist-editor-of-Weekly-Shonen Keiji.

“Yeah. At such timing? Perfect.”

Udai rushed to his desk in the other room and started doing something about his messy room to make it slightly look like he was currently working hard on the next volume when he was actually not.

One more rang of his apartment door and Udai groaned, relenting on his best attempt to fool Akaashi, if he was ever to be fool with such a cheap trick. The last touch was to mess his hair up a bit more.

Udai Tenma, disheveled as ever, opened the door with a sheepish grin. His unkempt black hair stood on end, a testament to his constant battles with time. “Oh? If it isn’t Akaashi-san! My great editor-san!”

“Good evening, Udai-san.”

Although there had almost been no friendliness in his eyes, Akaashi was not really the grumpy editor like Udai always accused of in his terms.

Well, in truth, Akaashi Keiji had always been the strict editor in his own right, but that was only in certain necessary context such as at this moment, where Udai was clearly neglecting the first thing he was supposed to be doing about the new volume of his Zombie Knight Zomb’ish and its deadline.

Smiling, Udai asked, still not moving from the door. “What’s this unexpected visit about?”

“Nothing. Just a little checking on the artist of Zombie Knight Zomb’ish that has its deadline by the end of this month. I wonder what he’s been doing about it.”

With just that, Udai was instantly on a high alert, afraid that from what might have slipped through his attention, Akaashi had already noticed something about what he was trying to hide, given that his very editor was a high caliber young owl.

“Oh… of course I am working on the new volume. I’m working very hard on it.”

“So? You’re going to keep your guest standing outside and not letting him in?”

Akaashi’s question was met with Udai’s dumb response, “Hm?”

“Whatever… I’ll just go in and see how your hard work is progressing.”

Akaashi easily barged through the entrance of Udai’s apartment, replacing his shoes with slippers and went to Udai’s working desk in a room beside his bedroom.

Akaashi stepped into Udai’s cramped working room, cluttered with piles of old manga volumes and sketchbooks filled with ideas that were yet to materialize. A faint scent of coffee and ink lingered in the air, a familiar aroma that permeated the creative spaces of many mangaka.

Without wasting any time, Akaashi scanned around the room, his eyes inevitably settling on Udai’s drawing tablet. Unsurprisingly, only blank sheets greeted him, devoid of any semblance of a masterpiece in progress and a way too vacant atmosphere on the desk was the last click of Udai’s way too obvious lie about working hard.

Akaashi Keiji had been working as an editor for weekly shonen for two years now. He loved his job; it gave him a glimpse into the fantastic world of manga and anime. Therefore, when he was assigned to work with Udai Tenma, the manga artist behind the famous Zombie Knight Zomb'ish Akaashi was honored. But that excitement quickly died down within weeks of working together.

Udai Tenma was a talented artist, but he was also known for his procrastination skills. He would leave work up until the last minute, making Akaashi’s job quite challenging being his editor. It was a struggle for Akaashi to keep up with Udai’s ever-growing pile of deadlines.

Akaashi, a man of precision, believed in meticulous planning, and any delays caused him immense displeasure. However, he had learned to have a certain level of tolerance for Udai's persistent struggles with deadlines throughout the years. Nevertheless, he couldn't help but anticipate what awaited him beyond the threshold.

“And… so?”

The charming editor turned to the manga artist after catching his imperfect lie red-handedly. His gaze calm, yet somehow threatening. “Is this what working hard is supposed to look like, Udai-san?”

Oh the amount of politeness that he put on his words.

“It was nearly the end of the month, and the 23rd volume of the series was due for release soon.” Akaashi said, his expression stern but understanding.

“I know. I’m working on it.” Udai peered down into his pile of unfinished panels.

Akaashi sighed. “The fans are waiting, and we can’t let them down,” Akaashi said, his face serious.

“Yeah– I know. I know.” Udai’s answer came almost immediately, he was looking almost like he was wincing. “I know. I know and I understand about it more than anyone.”

Udai knew that Akaashi was right. He had been procrastinating for far too long and had yet to make any headway on the new volume.

“I’m working on it, I swear,” Udai lied, trying to cover up his lack of progress.

Akaashi raised an eyebrow skeptically as he trailed over Udai’s desk. His eyes landed on a certain small notebook amidst the chaotic mess on the artist’s desk.

Akaashi was casually parrying all of Udai’s uncharacteristic explanations that he had always been too familiar with when the artist had the balls to keep the lie on play about this whole working hard thing. His hand, however, lifted the notebook from the mess, then began scanning through what he found on the notebook.

On the notebook was an unfamiliar sketch of a girl in a uniform.

Comparing the sketch of Udai’s current work of his manga, and the drawing style, it looks undeveloped, just a raw sketch. On the other side were smaller doodles.

“I’m just having some… some creative struggling, you know—”

“Hm.”

“And you see… sometimes, we, artists, we just simply need a break.”

“A break from reality where your deadline is approaching fast?”

“Yes–”

“No can do.”

“Huh? What did I just say?”

Akaashi ignored what he might have missed as his hand flipped the page of the notebook over. Perhaps, the break that Udai was referring to was what he was looking at. But before Akaashi could register what’s on the other page, Udai snatched the notebook away, aware that Akaashi was seeing something he shouldn’t have seen.

“Oh. Sorry. I was just curious if it was the break that you’re talking about.” Akaashi pointed out to the notebook that Udai was trying to hide awkwardly behind his back. “No?”

“No.” Udai answered almost immediately.

Usually, Akaashi would be absent-minded and nonchalant about everything besides work, but his hunch whispered that there was something more about it.

“Are you planning to add another character?”

“Huh?” Udai was dumbfounded.

Akaashi pointed to the sketch, and that alone was enough to give Udai a sufficient explanation about what Akaashi was referring to.

“Is that a new character?”

“No.”

Akaashi raised an eyebrow, looking at Udai with suspicion. “Really? I thought it looked familiar. You should consider using it in your manga. It might add some depth to the story,”

“... no.” Udai concluded, he walked over to his desk and put the notebook in the drawer.

Udai was aware that selling a promise to Akaashi was no longer something new, especially with Akaashi’s familiarity with his procrastination over the past two years of working together. Nonetheless, Udai still sold one to him today.

“I promise I’ll finish it on time, Akaashi-san. You can trust me.”

Akaashi raised an eyebrow dubiously. “I hope you do, Udai-san. I’ll be waiting for the new volume on the deadline,” he intoned in a calm yet threatening tone.

Udai felt a shiver run down his spine as Akaashi’s words sunk in. He knew that he had to work harder if he wanted to meet the looming deadline.

“Yeah. I understand, and I’ll make sure to hand in the new volume on time,” Udai responded, trying to hide the fear and guilt that he felt.

Akaashi sighed. “There it is, those words again.”

Udai moved closer, pushing Akaashi away from his desk. “Come on, Akaashi-san! You know I’ve always done my best each time. I’ll finish it on time this time. I promise.”

Akaashi rolled his eyes. “Make sure you finish it on time. I don’t want to have to keep reminding you.”

Udai nodded eagerly. “Don’t worry, Akaashi-san. I’ve got this. Just give me a little space to work, okay?”

“Of course.” Akaashi responded. “But before anything, can you give me my personal space and get off of me, please?”

Realizing that he had been having his hands on Akaashi’s shoulder even after they stepped out of his working room, Udai immediately pulled away and nodded.

“Oh. My bad.”

Akaashi sighed, having more than enough of his artist’s classics. “Well then, Udai-san. I’ll get going now.”

“Oh yeah.” Udai nodded.

“Don’t forget about the deadline.”

“Yes, Akaashi-san. I have a clearer mind now since you’re stopping by so I won’t need you to remind me of that one more time.” Udai smiled then sighed. “I get it. The deadline is by the end of this month.”

The curly-haired mangaka snapped his finger and pointed to his editor, “I’ll get it done even before that.”

“That’s an obvious lie.” Akaashi’s words, being said in his calm trademark, was a hard slap of reality to Udai’s face.

Udai looked down, “I promise I’ll work hard, Akaashi-san. Twice as hard.”

“That one goes without saying.”

Akaashi’s expression softened slightly as he looked around Udai’s apartment. He spotted a bunch of empty snack wrappers on the counter.

“Also, Udai-san,” Akaashi’s step halted. “make sure to eat a proper meal. Don’t eat too many chips.”

Udai nodded meekly, feeling more and more embarrassed by the second. He had let his personal life consume him, to the point where he was neglecting his health and work.

As soon as Akaashi left, Udai sat down at his desk to start working. He knew that it was going to be a long, hard journey to meet the deadline, but he was determined to succeed. Every time his mind wandered back to Sasaki Tsubasa, he pushed the thoughts aside and reminded himself that he had another thing to mind.

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Udai had been working on the new volume of Zombie Knight Zomb'ish for hours. His desk was littered with papers, and his eyes were beginning to feel strained. He reached over to grab another bag of chips, only to realize that he was out.

Groaning with frustration, Udai stood up and put on a jacket. He had to run errands in the neighborhood's convenience store to buy more chips. As he headed out, he noticed a group of teenagers playing outdoor volleyball nearby.

The sound of the ball hitting the pavement brought back a flood of memories from Udai’s high school days. He used to play volleyball in Karasuno High School, and he had been pretty good at it. But then he started working as a manga artist and realized that he had given up on sport entirely.

Udai watched as the teenagers hurled the ball back and forth, laughing and shouting as they played. He couldn’t help feeling a sense of nostalgia and longing for his own past.

As he walked towards the store, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander. He thought about his high school days and how much he enjoyed playing volleyball. He remembered how he had once dreamed of becoming a professional volleyball player, but those dreams had faded over time.

Lost in his thoughts, Udai arrived at the convenience store and grabbed a few bags of chips. As he left the store, he noticed that the teenagers were still playing volleyball. He found himself drawn back to their game, unable to resist the temptation to watch.

As he leaned against a nearby fence, Udai watched as the teenagers played. He watched as they dove for the ball, spiked it over the net, and high-fived each other after every point. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy as he watched them playing with such carefree joy and abandon.

For a moment, Udai forgot about work. He forgot about deadlines, the new volume of Zombie Knight Zomb'ish, and the pressure that came with being a manga artist. He just watched the teenagers play, lost in his own memories of his own volleyball days.

He still remembered the day he declared his enthusiasm for a sport. The day he was confronted with the harsh reality that the world brought within itself the unfairness in the word fair. In this world, people seem to have to be fair in choosing their dreams, because if not, then they will only end up becoming a laughing stock, just like that day.

Of all the things, of all the sports he could have chosen, young Udai made his choice on volleyball after watching a match between Japan National Team and Brazil.

His dream was big: something that easily happens to young boys who take on the world with fervor and passion. Udai, after seeing how there was an art of fun in volleyball, decided that he would be like one of the people who took part in the fun match he had witnessed.

However, after his declaration to the world about his dream, the world laughed at him with things like how people seemed to need to think about their dreams more fairly.

One day, someone said: A taller, bigger body is a weapon and a treasure in volleyball as only the strong survive on the field for a long time.

Udai didn’t stubbornly refute that. He simply understands that the world indeed works like that.

Even in the matches he watched, there was only one place where someone of small stature could fit in. Udai wasn’t stubborn. He knew that being average, or small in some other terms, was a disadvantage if volleyball was where he belonged.

So, for Udai, to be able to grasp the equal chance to make volleyball his home, he had to work twice, no, ten times harder than others. Also, to have a strong desire to keep going and not give up.

“Being a wing spiker with such height? It’s like hoping to reach the moon on a hill.”

One day, among all the people who were not supposed to say that, a middle-aged man, Ukai Ikkei, became the first person to say it to him with a line of facts that he had to look at with open eyes and accept with a big heart.

“Then, please teach me how to do it properly.”

The middle-aged man who looked more like a soldier than just a high school club coach turned. With one arm around his waist, he looked at Udai almost condescendingly with his intense gaze.

Like a young, growing crow, Udai challenged his luck before a monster who might be able to give him something that could pave the way for him to turn his weakness into his strongest weapon.

“I came here because I love volleyball. But I’m quite aware that misfortune is on my side.”

Ukai Ikkei smiled wryly, slightly laughing at the honesty Udai brought to the table. “It’s true.”

“But, even so, I want to stay here.”

“What for? To prove yourself? I didn’t come here to listen to some sentimental schoolboys who’s being unfair to himself.”

“I think I’ve been pretty fair to myself.”

The middle-aged man’s brows rose.

“I think simply about the concept of fairness. That of all things, in a world where people have the opportunity to dream as they wish, to be fair to myself is to bring that exact same opportunity to myself.”

Ukai Ikkei was a man known for being strict. No one had ever seen him being anything but scary. He was always in coach mode, except for that day.

Before him, there a young boy was willing to fight the world for a dream that he held tightly in his heart. Before him, was a young boy who would not give up on his dream of bringing himself the fairness that the world had denied him. Before him, was a brave young crow with a turbulent sense of growth.

“I came here to learn how to fight with all that I am, all my flaws.”

Ukai Ikkei’s smile at Udai’s statement was lopsided. Amused. It almost looked like a snicker, but he was being serious.

“You think you’re being fair by dreaming of a position as a wing spiker?”

“Yes.”

“Even if you keep getting blocked in every attempt?”

“Yes.”

Ukai Ikkei smiled. “Then what? Let’s hear what you want to ask of me.”

“For an opportunity that did not come my way, I would like to ask you to teach me how to dominate aerial combat.”

“Being that short?”

“I want to because I’m at a disadvantage because of my height.”

Udai had realized his weakness long ago and had become strong after accepting it and having enough faith in what he could do. He never became confident for the reason that he felt stronger than anyone else. He became confident to shore up his hole-filled self so that he could ensure that he could bring himself the opportunities that the world was not giving him.

“Please teach me!”

With enough courage and determination, Udai bowed wholeheartedly before his coach one year ago.

Ukai Ikkei sighed, but smiled at the determination Udai showed him.

“Very well. I will tell you what you can do about it.”

Udai’s eyes lit up, welcoming the wholeness when his hands came into contact with the chance to turn his weakness into strength.

“Before that, you need to get used to the ball. Pass the ball to me, Shrimp.”

Ukai Ikkei tossed him the ball, which he deftly passed back. The ball came quite high to him, giving Ukai Ikkei the advantage to throw a spike to Udai.

“And in order to get used to the ball, you need to always be touching it.”

Another spike met Udai’s hands perfectly, as if Udai knew that was where the coach would send the ball to.

“Volleyball is a sport where you can’t hold the ball. You’re only allowed to touch the ball for a few seconds of contact. You need to control that moment. Since your body is small, you need to make up for it with everything else.”

This time, the ball that came to him was not a high-speed spike, but a toss that he had never been able to get freely over the net before. In his eyes, the image of the ball that came to him, reflected beautifully, like a beautiful dream that finally came to him as a by-product of his maturity in accepting his weaknesses.

Udai knew his weakness. Just like some people who had also gotten there, he knew his weaknesses well and had accepted them as part of fairness in his terms.

In the brief moment when he came in contact with fairness, the chance that came his way, Udai had to control that moment. Once he manages to control the moment of contact that comes to him, then slowly, he will get used to it and eventually find a way to grasp the opportunity.

“Volleyball is a sport of height. It’s an absolute that taller players are stronger, but there are various kinds of strength. The great coach Arie Selinger once said, there is no reason to believe that there will be no development or changes in the future.”

Ukai Ikkei added one most important thing of all.

“So what if you’re short? Don’t you ever dare to look down on yourself. Volleyball is a sport where you’re always looking up.”

To this day, from that day forward, he always remembers those words.

One day, Udai woke up on a day where he could touch the ball longer and stay on the court longer than anyone else. It was all the by-product of his wisdom of accepting his weaknesses and his willingness to hone them carefully into his greatest strength.

Udai Tenma, will no longer be swayed by what people say about the weaknesses he had in this one world where he was anchored. He would carry and accompany himself to keep moving forward. Slowly. Because it will only come back to life when hard work is done wholeheartedly, just like what has become his routine.

“Left!”

His voice was loud as he raised his arms, calling for a toss from the rosy-haired setter behind the net, preparing with an approach that kept him on the second tempo for a spike.

With enough stride, enough power in his legs, and enough strength centered in his core as he brought himself to the highest point of his jump, where he poured all his energy into his hands, Udai could see what was behind the net clearly. It was as if the seconds were spinning at the slowest possible pace, and even though there were two or three tall arms stretching out as the wall to the point he was fighting for, Udai had arrived to where he could decide where he was going to hit the ball to.

Udai was not Ukai Ikkei’s favorite. In fact, Ukai Ikkei did not have a favorite on the team.

Even though Udai was someone on whose shoulders rested the burden of being the ace, Udai had never been the coach’s favorite. But that was not the important part. Because no matter what, he would continue to give his best in every aerial battle.

KA BOOM!

Udai hit the ball between the blockers’ fingers and scored a block out point for his team.

The word Don’t mind had become Nice kill!.

The word Nice Kill that he could never hear a year ago, always rang in his ears after he managed to find the best way for him to conquer the aerial battle.

On the court where there were six people risking everything to keep the ball in the air, Udai gained the confidence to keep his head up towards the ball. Because after all, volleyball is a sport where you have to always look up.

Volleyball is a sport where anybody is never allowed to look down, a sport where he is never allowed to look down at himself. Volleyball is a sport that keeps each player believing in his own abilities which will connect one player with another to cover each other’s weaknesses. That’s why Udai always felt the most confident when he was on the court, connecting to the ball and the other player.

Udai realized that although he may have given up sports, he hadn’t given up on his aspirations entirely. He had simply shifted his focus to manga. Watching those teenagers playing volleyball had reminded him of the joy of doing something that he loved, something that brought him pure happiness.

—

Next chapter coming soon!

[hellobunny044]

My Haikyu AU (Pairing Udai Tenma X Female OC) Panels. updated to 7!

[hellobunny044]

i’m so sorry for being inactive these days, i’m updating Panels tonight! *pinky promise

[hellobunny044]

I just updated Panels. for two chapters. I forgot the other day 😩

[hellobunny044]

My special #Haikyuu au Panels. is updated to 6!