#ugh i just needed to get this out of my system

[woodblxssomcrowned]

Personal rant/vent that's not very cohesive

I've had these characters for almost ten years and they are *constantly* changing, sometimes a lot in a very short time.

I go back and forth with various ideas and concepts and ngl I often feel like a bad oc mom for it like they have no integrity as characters. Like I don't care about them, or can't create good and consistent characters.

And the fact that they are so intimately connected to canon muses is always a source of insecurity. Like their association to Hashirama is pretty integral to how they are as characters, it's not a relationship I can just remove without affecting core parts of them, but we barely know what kind of man Hashirama was in private, the only accounts we have are his own and Madaras, much less what sort of father he was to the children that are never ever mentioned ever by anyone ever, so I also often feel the need to tone them down and leave gaps in order to make room for others interpretations of Hashirama.

And also I'm trying so SO hard to not make these kids op.

I'm trying so hard to find that sweet spot of believability that they are Senju/Uzumaki which are clans known for producing members who are really strong in various ways (life force, stamina, general skill etc) and could hold up against the Uchiha for ages. That they genetically come directly from the same stock as Hashirama and Tobirama, and Mito, and would produce Tsunade. That they are still somewhat interesting and remain fun to roleplay in a verse where the vast majority of characters are fighters. While also wanting to somehow keep them low-key enough that they don't accidentally overshadow the canon powerhouses like Hiruzen and the Sannin and become unrealistically notable since nobody mentions shit about the Hashirama-offspring (or any other post-founders Senju besides Tsunade and Nawaki) in canon. It was the main reason I ended up going with Maeko not being a shinobi, to somehow justify the insignificance (I also have some old harsh critique in the mary sue category that still rings at the the back of my head no matter how much i try to let it go). But ngl its not always fun to play that way. At the same time I feel like Maeko *not* being shinobi is equally unrealistic and weird, and is definitely still something I feel uncertain about in terms of wtf she's supposed to be doing instead. Like I try to downplay them to a point where they aren't fun for me to play anymore.

It's a lot of insecurity just in my head. I know there's people who really like these characters. But still I feel so deeply unable to justify affecting canon too much, sacrificing just having fun in favor of some sort of weird 'realism', which sucks.

[heybiji]

That causes Dande’s resolve to soften somewhat...

[appri-dot]

I like to draw nutcracker yaoi for character reasons trust fencer(hurt fella) belongs to @ballcrusher74

[hermitcraftx]

I agree with your post about hermit fans in regard to things being very popular. I’ve seen more people being angry and annoyed about scarian in the last six months than people celebrating it. Not tagging shipping is shit but it’s better than harassing people. I don’t know what was put in the water but something changed drastically and I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s seen it.

IT'S FUCKING INSANE! This fandom used to be so positive and welcoming and overall way more pleasant than some... other MCYT fandoms, but now??? I can't log on without seeing untagged negative interpretations in the main tags, can't express an opinion without getting anons calling me heterosexual sympathizers and hoping that I die, everyone has turned their back on everything that used to make this fandom really... fun? Like, I don't tag ON MY BLOG, but usually I don't maintag my shipping posts, and if I do, I tag the ship name so people can filter it.... I don't maintag duo names. What the fuck happened to make everyone so- miserable. Anons are probably going to be permanently off for me, too many people comfortable with their opinions and not comfortable with mine and desperately needing to tell me that.

And like- look. I get not liking interpretations. Personally I'm not a fan of the Double Life cheating arc because of how abusive and out of character people made Grian be, and I had to avoid ao3 for a bit because of that and filter the fucking tags. Same thing with found family dynamics. Just because you don't like something doesn't make it "overrated and popular" and just because you don't like something doesn't make it immoral or unethical either!!! People have to make everything a moral standpoint nowadays and it's really exhausting-

But that's a tirade. All over all the confessions blogs there's "scarian is overrated" despite Grian having nearly 10mil subscribers and most of them being on YouTube and considering all the hermits friends or family truthing them. Yes, there is more shipping than before- that's because Hermitcraft season 8 made it very obvious that the people on the SMP and the people IRL are very different, and it's no longer considered RPF. None of the real hermits died via moon explosion, ZombieCleo often says she's doing "lore", they make different skins, even GRIAN acknowledges that he's acting and playing a part with the permit office. Despite all that, there's STILL wars on shipping and people insisting that we're shipping real people, I fought this war on the DSMP side of things and it's SO TIRING.

DND podcast listeners, do you ship the people playing the characters? NO!!!!! Unless you do, in which case, have fun with that. I don't really care about RPF and I filtered the tags for it a long time ago, so maybe they do do that.

Every other day I see "Third life is overrated" "Last life is overrated" (LAST LIFE IS OFTEN THE LEAST FAVORITE SEASON I SEE PEOPLE SAY!), "the life series is overrated" "the cactus ring is fucking stupid" "they left the desert but we didn't" "no, THIS interpretation of scarian is bad and wrong" and like... guys. Guys. Fandom is supposed to be fun. It is not supposed to be a full time job. It is not supposed to be moral or ethical and you shouldn't feel the need to police shit. Jesus Christ, every other month there's a new fad that tumblr users flock to and once it's over everyone goes "EWWW THAT WAS LAME AND OVERRATED AND I NEVER LIKED IT ANYWAY" like.... I promise you cannibalism as an allegory for love is not mainstream you are just on Tumblr.

Like Good God. If it's so bad here go to Twitter. I'm sick of all the complaining and misery and hatred and I miss when things were fun- people are so scared of being cliche that they don't want to write things that they enjoy. Where are the coffee shop aus???? Where are the fun silly things??? Where are the 100k grimdark fics with worldbuilding??? Wheres the 500k fics that aren't even about the same characters anymore but that we love just the same??? Where are the forums and people talking to each other in comments and meeting each other that way??? Where are the roleplay servers?????? What are you all doing??????

People are scared of being judged. They want to do what everyone else is doing. They don't want to be cringe or cliche and every day I see a "cringe culture is dead" post and then someone making fun of another part of fandom, an antithesis to their previous statement. They don't want to be late to things, either. Who cares if Last Life was a couple years ago? Draw the fanart anyway!

I'm scared. Maybe I'm just old, but every post I see I notice that I get maybe a 10th in reblogs of what I do in likes, and I don't even post my art or fics to this site. Every post is like that. More and more people only like posts and they die, unseen, by everyone. More and more people misuse archive of our own's functions, treating it like it has some algorithm, when it doesn't, and it never has and hopefully never will. I see fic reuploads to "gain traction" (not how it works) and people reaching out to find RP partners (breaking TOS) and all sorts of other shit on both sites and it fucking horrifies me. I'm not even that old- I'm eighteen, and I can already tell how fandom has changed for the worst for everyone. Fandom used to be a community. Not consumption.

It's just... sad. Old fandom had PLENTY of fucking problems, and we have problems here too, but at least the positives outweighed the negatives. It's so... mean here, now. Even the happy things are mean-spirited. People treat it as if certain people have invaded this fandom space, spreading horrible opinions and ruining it for everyone, but the truth is is that shipping is always going to be a thing. It's a foundation of fandom- fandom started with housewives in the 1950s writing Star Trek fanfiction. You can never get rid of shipping. You can just interact with what you want to interact with and leave others to mind their own business.

[fisheito]

snakes have something called a jacobson's organ that allows them to smell. they stick out their tongue, and then when it enters their mouth again, the jacobson's organ processes what they just smelled with their tongue. i say this to propose that, after yakumo licks eiden's dick for a good 10 minutes, he closes his mouth and processes it all like O_____O

when i TELL YOU that this message left me bracing the wall like

(overwhelmed with positive affect)

[olive-riggzey]

Listen, you CANNOT tell me that they didn’t meet at least ONCE

Please accept my headcanon that Rondo just keeps growing out his hair to wear it like Sazantos, thank you

[arsen1cs4ng0]

i cant believe i have to say this and i know some people are gonna piss their pants over this, but just know the chipspeech fandom will forever be a system-friendly space, and if you dont like that then you can take your ass elsewhere

systems are stigmatized enough and i dont want any systems here to feel unsafe. if this is how yall are gonna treat systems then it really says a lot about you

[aether-link]

.

[hercynianforest]

I have a lot of criticism for Cl**derry that I need to vent, you can read it under the cut, if you like.

It's a toxic and abusive relationship. But it's presented to us as love.

By the latter I'm mostly referring to "The Frozen Ship", where their scenes were paralleled with Rayllum scenes, and portrayed in a very beautiful, romantic way (the music, camera, light, etc).

I don't understand why. It's obvious that Terry does all the work in the relationship, he basically takes turns at being Claudia's carer, parent, and counsellor. When did Claudia ever support Terry? Inquire how he feels? His needs? Talk about anything but herself and her problems? The whole time she acts like a child, who takes his presence for granted.

And no, her trauma doesn't make that okay. It's not just one time, not just when she is in crisis. It's the whole time. Also, she got hurt/traumatised trying to kill others, then killed someone, and never showed remorse for any of that. She repeats that she has to "do, what needs to be done/is necessary, no matter how vile or vicious". She's incapable of seeing the atrocity of her own actions.

And Terry never gets angry. He never voices any desires or needs, it's like he exists only for Claudia. Terry kills another elf to protect her, helps her to carry Viren for hours, builds a boat for her, is not frightened by her murder of Sir Sparklypuff or the fact that she sees animals as ingredients and continuously murders them. He makes a prosthetic for her, washes her, brushes her hair, counsels her, follows her wherever she goes. The relationship is about Claudia and Claudia alone.

And this is never portrayed as problematic, on the contrary - it's shown in a positive light, like some beautiful devotion.

It makes me angry, because I've been the victim of abusive relationships all my life and this kind of romanticising is harmful.

What conclusion will young viewers draw from this? That the only thing that matters in a relationship is that you give 100%, no matter if you get anything back or not? That it's okay if your partner/friend/relative never inquires about you and your emotions? That you shouldn't get compassion fatigue or shouldn't be shocked at their lack of ethics and cruel actions? That you shouldn't talk or want to talk about yourself? That it's still love even though you're not an equal in the reationship? That it's still love even though they take up all of the space and you have to make yourself small? That true love means one-sided sacrifice?

Fuck this. Even if they pull out some big surprise in s7, like a backstory in which Claudia saved his life pre-s4 or something like that - it doesn't change the toxidity of their relationship, it doesn't change what they've been showing us for three seasons.

[runawaymun]

.

[puppyeared]

does anyone else feel like they could be a really really good tour guide if the memory problems didnt exist

[thebluehoursofmorning]

idk, i get the point of trying to live healthily and do basic things like exercising and eating well etc etc but then things can get really specific and judgy about what health things you do or don't do and it is so frustrating and now I don't know if I should continue what the doctor says to do and it's so confusing and you WILL be met with judgement from one side or another no matter what you do

[icantspellthings]

Hmm

[littletrumpetcat]

how the fuck does anyone afford anything. please let me know. i haven't gotten my hair cut in two years. i've never paid to get my nails done. i rarely ever buy alcohol. i haven't eaten out this summer. it's those god damn student loans i fear

[lunaetis]

𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲.

                who am i ? who am i ? who am i ?

from the moment of your birth, it was your destiny to receive the stellaron at herta space station.

                destiny ? said who ? who was the one who decided it ? artificial. created. am i not alive ? am i not living, breathing right now ? do i not get a right ? why can't i remember anything ? why can't i even remember myself ?

the reason you don't remember is that i wiped your memory before the operation.

                did i agree to that ? did i know what would happen ? did i lose myself because of the mission ? is that all i am ? made for the purpose of hosting the cancer of all worlds. then what is next ? now that that was completed, what's next for me ? who am i supposed to be ? what am i supposed to do ?

                make decision i wouldn't regret ? but the path is lined up for me. no matter what kind of decision i make, what turn i take, what directions i go into, it was all planned. all foreseen. all observed. what am i, then ? what was the point of it all ? you have seen everything, every paths, every possibilities that could have happened. trying to achieve the best possible future, you said ?

                best for who ? is that all there is to me ? go with them. fight. live. move on. forward. forward. forward. do not stop. i can't stop even if i wanted to. i can't DIE even if i wanted to. because you're not allowed to.

                is this really my decision ? it sure didn't feel like it.

                gloved digits clawed at her chest. digging deeper, clawing so harshly as though she could rip something inside out.

                something.

                do i ... even have a HEART ? the whirring inside of me ... the stellaron. without it, i wouldn't exist, right ? i only open my eyes because THE STELLARON was pushed into me. i only wake up because of it. it's everything to me, it's all i am. the stellaron is my blood and life, it's my heart and soul. i wasn't created with A WILL, i was made to receive the will of this destructive force.

                without it, i am nothing.

                trailblazer. nameless. vessel. receptacle x.

                her eyes burned. but no words were uttered. no sound was made. not even a hint to be perceived despite her frame trembling and wanting to SCREAM. fingers curled deeper, harder. it hurts. it hurts. hurt more. hurt more. that means you still feel. that is the emotion you can feel.

                even without a heart, even without a soul.

                a single droplet escaped her shut gaze.

                you are i am empty.

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

Having Tomadachi Life with yourself and your F/Os is all fun and games until it says they don't like you/you have to watch them get hearts over someone else

Uuuhhhh I vent/rant/lose my marbles in the tags just as a heads up. Nothing HEAVY just. Very bothersome