so i did a bit of art
u dont know me . but hi anyways this is my first ever finished digital drawing hip hip hooray i made this like a good long while ago but. its here now this is aVERY OLD OK VERY OLD
boba and omega except for I HATE BABIES I HATE THEM I HATE SUTPID BALD BABIES DIE OMEGA LOOKS SO STUPID STUPID BALD BABY also THE SHADING ON BOBAS LEG LOOKS LIKE INTENSE LEG HAIR THAT ISNT REALLY A BAD THING BUT HES LIKE. 9?? and the hair good god dont ask me what i was doing with the hair OR omegas shirt i was in a time crunch BUT ANYWAYS HERES MY REFEREMCE :D
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ok now that stream over i will explain better when i say bbh's toxic love mindset explains all of his relationships, platonic, romantic, & familial
it's because HIS EMOTIONS ARE INTENSE!!! they are BIG and LOUD and he may express these emotions in unconventional ways (he is NOT human but that's the least of it) but he sure goes out of his way to make sure you notice (pranks), or his feelings are just natural (caring for and spoiling the egg babies). these emotions go unexplained, but they are there, and people misinterpret him so much because even if you DO ask, it's already established that he's a chronic liar and believing him could be a shot in the dark. but even LYING is one of these big emotions from the self-destructive side, the self-sacrificial side. "self-destructive" and "self-sacrificial" might look as to be opposites in the reason for why, but for q!bbh, they're both fueled by the same emotions. he's self-destructive because he's self-sacrificial, he's self-sacrificial because he's self-destructive, and it's because he cares too much. bigger than anyone has been able to understand.
you'd think an immortal would be numb to consequence at a certain point, but to q!bbh, consequence is EVERYTHING. he hasn't gotten over how quickly people and things can be lost, especially considering he's a reaper. so if q!bbh, as secretive as he is, can get all negative attention to him, not only does it help in lowering their expectations or view of him, but it also serves to make him a magnet for bad things. but if he's a magnet, he needs to care MORE because as he's said, disaster follows him wherever he goes, and being a magnet can hurt people. 'toxic love' is normal love to q!bbh, who taught himself to accept pain he feels, and not care to treat his wounds, for his hurt could be protecting someone else. it's 'not getting attached', it's 'when he does inevitably get attached he's overbearing', it's 'worrying about things that haven't happened', it's 'rewriting lies with more lies', and he's been doing this for so long that half of it he doesn't realize he's even doing it or that he could be 'too much'.
these big emotions, reactions, and actions, are natural. and to anyone else, he's just being dramatic and over the top. but in truth, that's just how big his feelings are. his love for his children is so large, he'd freeze hell over to get them back, but without an option to fight pre-purgatory, it originally manifested as him spiralling. his attachment to cucurucho is new since reviving, but since he was alone on & off for a while, he desperately clung onto any reinforcement he could get because even monsters want to be loved, to feel loved, and the chase made him reliant in a way that he refuses to let go of the constant he had during the quiet times, and if it makes him nuke spawn a couple times because he's desperate to be seen by who he's attached himself to, he'd do it, and im sure it wouldn't have been a first for him if we could put a magnifying glass to his past lives.
it's just natural, when the reason you get to be on earth in an eternal loop is because of rejection from what you still love despite your better judgement. because of your big emotions.
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hey.
do you like weird obscure bits of history? do you like first hand accounts of historical events? do you like getting emails from 1800s real estate agents in distress? do you know what the aroostook war is? do you want to?
maybe you should subscribe to my substack! i had to read this journal for school, and then i got really overinvested, and now i'm dragging you all down with me! updates start TOMORROW but will be really really short for the first few days so you won't miss much if you forget it's okay. it's alright. i love you
sign up to get emails from my new historical blorbo who's so obscure he doesn't even have a wikipedia page
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where we lay our scene
“No reason,” Neil bluffs. He chews on his cheek. “I just had a question. That’s all.”
“Oh,” Todd replies, a little mumbled. He yawns. “What was it?”
Neil stares up at the ceiling. Carpe diem, and all that, he thinks. The sentiment feels a little too large to carry.
He asks, “Have you ever been in love?”
Neil auditions for a play, accidentally reads a poem, and falls in love – not necessarily in that order.
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I think aran and kita's first time is super soft and intimate, but I also think aran is sooooo anxious he ends up. not being able to get hard because he's overthinking everything.
they still call it their first time despite not actually going all the way. aran wanted it to be perfect. he lit some candles, washed his sheets, kicked his parents out of the house.
but when he and kita were making out, he was still worried about everything being just right. aran was jumpy and skittish. in the end it made kita a little nervous as well.
until kita pushed aran away and demanded he explain what was going on. aran rambled about his insecurities and anxieties until kita shut him up with a kiss.
they agreed to try again another night, but use this night to just be comfortable with each other.
and, yeah, it was a little awkward to strip down naked with each other and just lay in bed at first. they sat away from each other, the tv quietly playing a movie.
until they slowly scooted closer, they cuddled, and eventually started kissing again. this time slower, more relaxed. they let their hands roam, just feeling each other and being in each other's space and area.
and while they were both hard at the end of the night, they decided to stay true to their decision to wait another night. but it was a good step in the right direction.
so while most people would consider the night a failure, aran and kita considered it one of the biggest steps in their relationship.
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