#under readmore it got long sorry i just started venting a bit...

[000png]

bro I’m so sorry about the layoffs, I work in tech too and was laid off in 2020 at the start of lockdown and that shit sucked and really affected me emotionally. I’m just an internet stranger so this is completely unsolicited advice but even though you may tell yourself it’s just a job or other people may tell you that, the way work is set up in the US has pretty intense psychological effects on our sense of belonging and sense of purpose, so please take it easy and don’t feel bad if you get emotional about this and soon you’ll have a foster cat to hang out with!!!! (also I saw your tags about taking PTO, NEVER FEEL WEIRD ABOUT TAKING PTO, if a company can drop you like this then u should take the time you need when you need it)

ahhh thank you so much for sending this in!!! not unsolicited advice at all, I very much appreciate this 🥹 yeah I was kind of numb to it this morning but now that I've really digested it... yeah shit sucks 🤣 I'd be lying if I said I was surprised though, what I am surprised about is that they axed everybody 😩

ironically I am actually one of the employees who has been here the longest (just hit a little over 4 years actually which means I get an extra severance bonus lmao) but it didn't hit me until after we all gathered after the announcement and some of my coworkers (some who have been here since the startup was founded in 2012) started breaking down. we've also been working on this one project since 2019 and it was ready to have its PMA submitted by the end of the year and to see that literally get disintegrated right before our eyes... that shit hurts man.

our work would have saved lives (tldr we work in cancer diagnostics) and now it maybe never can because somebody decided it wasn't making enough money. the absolute irony considering the state of capitalism and US healthcare am I right

I'm honestly also just super bitter towards the company that acquired and then subsequently dissolved us lmao. shits gone downhill ever since they acquired us what, 2 years ago now? we haven't even fully been integrated STILL and they've dragged their feet so much with helping us in any way, if anything they've actually hindered a lot of our work (our entire devops team has a personal vendetta against their IT department) and they're like yeah you guys are underperforming so we're dissolving the entire startup 🙄 I should have jumped ship immediately after the acquisition because everything related to said big company has sucked since then but well here we are

oh also yeah hard agree on the PTO but on the bright side at least mine is getting paid out 🤣

anyways. I'm about to love the shit out of this foster cat

[tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land]

Soooo you may have noticed...

I haven’t been truly active on here in a hot minute!!

And I apologize. It’s not my intention; if it were up to me, I’d be pumping out art and fic as frequently as I breathe. But alas, life decided to fuck me and fuck me hard

As we’re coming up on my 1 year anniversary of my Arm Pain™, it saddens me to say that not only have I not gotten better, but I have gotten progressively worse. I’m sure half of it is just me overreacting and half of my pain is just a result of me panicking and is not actually real, but it hasn’t gone away and the fact that it’s gotten worse has spiked my anxiety like crazy.

So uh.. I took this past semester off cuz I thought it would help heal me (lol) and I’m highly thinking of taking the next one off too. I’ve tried writing fic, cooking, and playing Animal Crossing to keep myself occupied, even started dabbling a little bit into drawing again. but yanno. Those all require hands. Not much I can do before pain sets in :/

This is really all just a long winded way of me saying that I’m much more “active” (if you call retweeting things and posting incredibly vague fanfic updates active) on [Twitter] nowadays. 

This isn’t to say that I’m leaving tumblr or anything; just that twitter is a little bit easier for me to handle at the moment. Honestly I’m really sorry for those who decided to follow me here recently. I appreciate every single one of you who enjoys my works, and I’m sorry i can’t provide anything for your support

There’s a wee bit more to this update post, but I’ll put it under a readmore since it’s uhhhhhhhh kinda grim!!! TW // anxiety , depression ,  suicidal thoughts

Not gonna lie I’m doing terribly! Absolutely awful! Never been worse! Between the Arm Pain™, Covid, every country in existence being on fire all at once, and just the general helplessness of it all, it’s all got me stressed out hard. And unlike other people, I can’t just draw/write my vents away, or play ACNH for hours on end to get away from it all. I was suffering before 2020 began, but god this just made everything so much worse.

Being around my trump-humper family is stressful, but it’s not like i could ever live on my own. I’ve only just started having full nights of sleep again without anxiety waking me up, but we’ll see how long that’ll last. I’ve been working out since the beginning of the year on recommendation and I’ve lost almost 30 pounds, but I still feel terrible, so a lotta fucking good that’s done me. I dunno; my anxiety and depression are just killing me

I don’t know what to do. I honestly don’t know how much longer I can do this. I just feel like my whole life has been taken from me, and I don’t know if it’s even worth it to go on. I’m trying my best, but i just feel so goddamn hopeless.

[sleeplessvalley]

y'know I think if all my variations of tartar wound up somehow being able to meet each other (under a readmore because this is LONG)

tartar:

gets along well with 2.0, since they're basically the same but do have some differences

really doesn't like taeden since he did get the prime directive accomplished but did it in a way that left the world intact

would be somewhat disappointed in teremun for going through with his plans but getting depressed over it later, because 'are you kidding me how could an attachment to people make you REGRET THE THING WE'VE BEEN WORKING TOWARDS AND FINALLY ACCOMPLISHED'

is surprisingly neutral towards meme au taeden despite him going on a good path; considers his actions reasonable

refuses to interact with tasnim if he can avoid it, for reasons unknown (with the reason being that it actually makes him sad to see a version of himself that never went for such an extreme solution)

very firm in his belief that pokemon au taeden and tartar could've done great things had they not split up. also not a fan of the fact that he's apparently brothers with taeden here, and is a bit surprised that pokemon au tartar is so calm yet so intimidating sometimes (though he’d never tell that last bit)

not sure what to feel towards taiko

2.0:

considers it an honor to be able to talk to tartar despite just about knowing the same stuff

doesn't understand how he and taeden wound up so different despite having come about almost the same way

sort of gets why teremun got depressed over what he did, but still thinks that he should be happy that he achieved the goal

not very interested in meme au taeden, but thinks his tech is worth learning about

also not very interested in tasnim, but the process of growing his own body and then transferring himself into it is very much worth learning about

just the tiniest bit afraid of pokemon au taeden and tartar

wants to understand taiko's sanitization process better

taeden:

feels sorry for tartar, but knows he can't be swayed

really wants to take 2.0 apart for what he did to percy

tries to stay neutral towards teremun, but does like him some- upset that he went through with the original plan, but somewhat proud knowing he recognized what he did was shitty. wants to help him but hasn't figured out how to reverse the sanitization process yet either

would probably deck someone for meme au taeden. also horrified that he doesn't have a professor

gets along best with tasnim since he never went down such an extreme path; probably asks what him it's like being an octoling

pokemon au taeden and tartar bug him a bit because to him their plan almost feels worse than the plan tartar had. outside of that he doesn't mind them though and actually wants to know why they have creatures from a game that his professor used to talk about

taiko actually freaks him out; will avoid him at all costs

teremun:

tartar scares him a bit because he's generally uncaring about the lives of others

the same applies for 2.0 but to a slightly lesser extent

treats taeden with a LOT of respect- he understands that it takes a lot to change your ways. probably winds up venting to him because he'll get it.

a bit confused as to why meme au taeden is an octoling, but also treats him with respect. willing to sit and listen to him ramble about older tech, and winds up mentioning bits of his own story by accident

tasnim reminds him too much of pravin (teremun's percy) and he can't handle it, so he doesn't interact with him

he's able to talk to both pokemon au taeden and tartar, though he's a bit uneasy since their plan reminds him of his own. still winds up talking about what happened with him.

taiko makes him sad, but he'll still talk to him. he wishes he could've loved like that from the start.

meme au taeden:

not a fan of tartar at all, since he clearly can't see how bad he's making things for others

also not a fan of 2.0 for the same reasons

thinks taeden is literally the best thing ever, since he knows a lot about older tech and he likes to work with older tech. they probably bond over this, and he asks him about what his professor is like

really hopes that teremun can eventually find a way to reverse everything he did, or at least bring it all to a bearable point- if he was able to get out of his own bad situation, hopefully he can too

surprised that there's another octoling, but with the mind of a machine- extremely interested in how tasnim accomplished this

knows that pokemon au taeden and tartar's plan was bad but.... he can't stop his curiosity over what they were going to use to change the world.......

unsettled by taiko, but still makes an effort to be friendly towards him. probably winds up getting infected tbh

tasnim:

very happy he didn't go down tartar's path

or 2.0's for that matter

taeden's company is enjoyable and he also asks him about what it's like being in a robot

cries over the information obtained about teremun. he feels REALLY bad for him despite knowing he did some bad stuff

asks way too many questions about octarian society to meme au taeden. yes he's seen it but he wants to know more from someone who's been in it. probably cries a bit here as well

pokemon au taeden and tartar are very different than the rest for the most part and he thinks that’s neat that they share something in common with him

is completely unaware that taiko also tried to infect him but it didn't work

pokemon au taeden and tartar (both generally share the same opinions on others so they’re getting lumped together)

tartar’s plan seems very extreme to both of them, which is actually kind of hilarious considering one of them was trying to change the world through some concerning means. willing to talk to him provided they’re in a good mood beforehand.

kind of worrying to them that 2.0 continued down the same path with very little change outside of a mildly stronger curiosity. still easier to talk to than tartar though.

both are absolutely fascinated by taeden, since he’s an AI but runs on his own and even learns stuff. nothing like that exists in the pokemon world yet, at least nothing that isn’t controlled by a rotom. they probably talk to him for a while about robot stuff

teremun’s situation reminds both of them of what nearly happened in regards to changing the world, except that his situation actually happened. they’re not sure what to do aside from trying to console him, but outside of that they all get along

octillery person? what? they’re so confused by meme au taeden and ask a lot of questions he doesn’t actually have the answers to. they’ve got a lot of different tech and they all talk about that stuff

another octillery person but apparently he’s also a machine? confused with tasnim as well, probably more than they are with meme au taeden.

they both consider taiko to be like... a living version of the move attract. these two probably also get infected by him

taiko:

Not suitable for infecting. Potentially dangerous, but plan is being carried out in a manner that’s deemed acceptable, therefore poses no threat.

Not suitable for infecting. Potentially dangerous, but curiosity and obtaining answers seems to be the priority, therefore poses little threat.

Not suitable for infecting. Terrified of the virus, it seems. Speaks of the professor fondly. (Miss him.)

Not suitable for infecting. Depressed. Poses no threat whatsoever due to wanting to be better.

Suitable for infecting. Target is wary but optimistic. Obsessed with older technology. Lure target in with questions and/or facts about old tech to lower guard. Infect the moment the opportunity arises.

Suitable for infecting. Target is oblivious and very emotional. Lure target in with the story regarding the professor. Infect at any point during the conversation. Not suitable for infecting. Has the mind of a machine.

Suitable for infecting. The quiet one is very perceptive. The rambling one has sensitivity to sound. Do not allow voice to waver. Infect the quiet one the moment the opportunity arises. Raise voice to 100dB to startle the rambling one. Infect within two seconds.

[saltine-kakyoin]

my jojo fic recs

I deleted the actual post because I am an idiot, but I was able to recover most of it! This is all copypasta, but the readmore actually works on this guy :D (hopefully it works on mobile as well...) 

Admittedly, I have only read a handful of jojo fics 💔 I used to read fic all the time, but things started getting Litch Rally Mad at my job around the same time i really got into jojo, so I haven’t had as much time to dedicate to it :(

I have a total of like 3 to recommend, but bro I cannot recommend these 3 enough. ngl I stayed up until like 5am on a workday reading all of these, went to work, and then came home just to finish reading them lol. They are all jotakak, so I do apologize if that’s not your cup of tea! ; J ;/

I tend to ramble so I will put these under a readmore just in case. c:

Nessun Dorma, which I always misspell as Nessum Dorma

bro this is where it all Began. It’s set in a universe all on its own, in which Jotaro is just a Struggling doctorate student. He meets Kakyoin, a nonbinary ballet dansuer, by chance while having a smoke in a back alley. The fic follows the development of their relationship from strangers repeatedly sharing a smoke break in a back alley to something More, as well as Kakyoin’s journey from a corps dancer to more of a lead dancer (I don’t know the term, I apologize! 💔) and Jotaro’s struggles with his thesis. This one is written with such tenderness and care towards the characters and the setting, my heart grows fond just thinking of it. ; J ;

Watch out for an unsavory relationship between Dio and Kakyoin- Dio is a really good choreographer but also a terrible human and he’s no stranger to using his status as choreographer to leverage his will over Kakyoin and get What he Wants, if you catch my drift. This imbalance also occurs while Kakyoin is a minor, but we never get any scenes between minor Kakyoin and Dio. They just vent to Jotaro about it. Additionally, there are many parts where the disordered eating of dancers is described, so please steer clear if you need to. All triggering content is tagged! Overall, this fic is one of the best ones I’ve ever read. The life of any performer trying to make it big is fr fr nitty gritty, and this fic gives that whole issue the gravitas it deserves. Aside from that, though, this fic captures the behind the scenes and backstage process beautifully- as a choir + theater nerd, I am incredibly enamored by that. Beyond that, though, this fic is just Wonderful to the characters. So much of Jotaro and Kakyoin’s dynamic in the SDA was inspired by how they are written in this fic. A real 10/10 banger. (For the love of GOD watch out for yourself bc this fic is addictive and it is not finished and has not updated for some time :( We will all pop bottles when the next chapter comes out)

The Libertine, Destroyed

This one was actually recommended to me (unfortunately I forget by who ; - ;) when I was going through Nessun Dorma withdrawals lmao. This was one of the first fics I encountered when I started reading Jojo fics, but I passed on it bc I wasn’t a fan of Phantom. After I was recommended it, I gave it a shot and holy FUCK thank god i did, it’s very good also!

So, like I said, it’s a Phantom of the Opera AU! Kakyoin takes centerstage as our gorl Christine, Jotaro fills in for Raoul, and Dio is the Phantom. I was SUPER apprehensive of this because Dio POV fics give me the Shivers and Phantom POV fics fill me w intense middle-school dread. This fic, though.. This fic gets it. I am not wholly familiar with the Phantom’s full plot, but I know enough to say that this fic does not follow it 1 for 1. One huge change is that Kakyoin knows Dio behind the mask, but isn’t aware he’s the Phantom, which!! Ahhh it fills me with such dread, but it is very well-written dread! I kind of ?? liveblogged my read-through of this one a month ago and you can Feel the mania in my tags, ahh.

This is another one that’s still in the works and hasn’t updated for a bit, and as such, I haven’t read it in a bit 3 Due to this, I don’t remember if there’s anything outright triggering, but of course anything can be triggering, so please take caution of the tropes synonymous with Phantom before diving in. This fic includes a varied cast of characters from the first three parts, with varying degrees of respect for canon- ie Baron Zeppeli is still Caesar’s grandfather (or father? Uncle?…they are family…), but the first 3 Jojos are all brothers. That normally isn’t my cup of tea, but this fic does it in good taste, and we get a lot of chapters/mini-chapters dedicated to fleshing out their childhood and Kakyoin’s involvement in it!

I’m more partial to Nessun Dorma than this one, but they are both lovely reads! I really like HasturIsMyCopilot’s writing style, and their other Jotakak fics are really nice as well! c: Ode to the October Sky is super fluffy and *chef kiss* Paradidiomi is also a good read about the power imbalance in Dio and Kakyoin’s relationship, but there aren’t too many chapters for it. 

Summer Lovin’

Ahh, this one. This was my first fr fr Jojo read, and god it’s such a fun read. Jotaro and Kakyoin are stupid teenagers, Jotaro is a man of few words, and Avpol is beleaguered by their stupidity. Joseph is Joseph, and Iggy is… evil..

This fic is set in a modern, Dio free universe, which is a1 in my book! Jotaro spends an entire summer trying and overthinking how to confess to Kakyoin, with his friends and family both helping and hindering him. I forget exactly where this fic goes, but I’m 98% certain Kakyoin gets jumped and ends up in the hospital at one point? He recovers well enough, but watch out for that- it’s in the later chapters. Also, watch out (but in a good way!) for the horrific Jotakak kiss!! It made me screech at 1 and bury myself in my blankets, they are just… horrible at romance. which is relatable but ahhhhmy GOD

Overall, a very fun rollercoaster of a fic! Kakyoin beats up Steely Dan at one point! :D It’s a very fun read! ^^

Another Man’s Son

I WAS WRONG! This one came back to me when I was writing about The Libertine, Destroyed. This one is just a chapter, but god it’s so wonderfully written. Dio POV (which.. y’all know how i feel about that lol. but this one!! this one is so good!), in which he encounters Giorno and has Thoughts and Feelings. It’s been a very long time since I’ve read it, so I don’t remember it very well, but I do remember it deeply endeared me to Giorno before I had any idea who he was.

(Also check out this beautiful piece Toffee Arts was inspired to make because of it!! Beware though, it has Saturn Devouring His Son in the bg D:)

Those are all of the ones that come to mind at the moment! I’m really sorry I basically only have Jotakak ones. ; - ; It’s a ship I really enjoy, but I know that not everyone is keen on it. Hopefully I will be able to update this in the future with a more diverse selection! I’d love to read more Avpol fics, and 10000% more fics about Polnareff and Sherry (she’s polnareff too… uh oh spaghettios..)